#AND BETTER NOT HEAR SHIT NEGATIVE

[ashfdhfgdsfk]

might remake to a new account entirely and change the name i go by

#depresso rant incoming skipp all this if you dont wanna hear it #txt #el/ena might have to become a deadname for lack of a better word sjdhfg #putting the slash because im beyond paranoid now #nothing on this earth is sacred i feel like ive lost the only safe space i had left #would you guys call me some silly name if i asked :-( fuck #shit im so hurt this is the worst #trying to be positive so im not just a huge drag but im so isolated in my real life and as stupid as it sounds #tumblr was becoming a little home id carved out for myself #and i feel like im never going to feel safe here again #but in order to tell you guys about a new blog url ill have to post about it which means they might see it too and uagshfg #and god it doesnt even matter bc my arts out there anyway and a few random 10k+ note posts so theres a chance theyll find me no matter what #and shit i loved so many of my old urls but i cant ever reuse them and i feel like im seriously losing my fucking mind trying to hide #like tumblr and having you guys was the only thing keeping me going through all this shit and it feels like ive lost all of that comfort #this is gonna be the worst fucking birthday ever dude just for that extra cherry on top like i seriously have nothing going for me rn SJDHG #denver and a few lovely mutuals to keep me kicking but oughgf #i feel sick #feel like i need to shower and scrub my soul raw to get this vile ass feeling out #god im sorry to be negative i rlly am i try to keep things cheery round here but im styeadily reaching my limit #and i want to reblog stuff to comfort myself but i dont want to reblog anything in case theyre watching and fuck im so dfjsfgjksfjkgsfkdgh #i could really go for a hug right about now s'all

[constantvariations]

The Branwen bandits make absolutely no sense and every question I ask leads to more questions

Why do Raven and Vernal have advanced weapons while nearly every other member has basic traditional armory? Do they employ a hierarchy within the group? If so, how does one rise in rank? Is the competition brutal, perhaps even lethal?

How are Hunters a significant enough threat that its namesake twins went undercover at Beacon when they clearly steamroll over every obstacle pre-V5? Has Raven's reign made them stronger than her predecessor? How? Who came before Raven and why are they no longer around?

Why would Hunters be after a group of human bandits when their purpose is to fight Grimm? Is stopping man-made tragedy a part of the job because it prevents major Grimm attacks? How far would that authority reach? Would that clash with any local police force?

On a meta level, what do the bandits bring to the narrative? It would've been interesting to see an ideological clash between individualistic "survival of the fittest" and community-oriented "strength of bonds overcome all odds," but we didn't get that. Or we could've gotten some worldbuilding due to their unique nomadic nature outside the kingdoms' safe walls

Instead, the Branwen Bandits serve only a utilitarian purpose: bring Weiss and Yang together and send them to Ruby, house Raven until the finale, and be cannon fodder in a few action scenes

Yet another good idea poorly executed

#rwde #it doesnt even serve angst purposes for qrow bc its so vague and offscreen it might as well not exist #also im avoiding the word tribe bc i read a while back that it promotes negative stereotypes #iirc its bc white colonizers used it as a synonym for 'primitive savages' and using it still promotes that idea #the bandits dont seem to have any close relations w each other so i dont feel like clan works either but im not as sure on that one #ngl every time i hear clan my first thought is either the uchihas or warrior cats lmao #on an off note im wondering if im not receiving hate anons bc ive already blocked everyone who does that shit #almost wish there were notifications for how many blocked anons have tried to send messages lol #literally the closest ive gotten to anon hate was someone saying that the bees were better than violyn from arcade #they sent an lol after i responded so i highly doubt theyre someone who's gone after rwdesters w vitriol #anons send me hate instead of the others blogs pls i need a good laugh

[skrunksthatwunk]

i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now

#no i haven't enjoyed the last two no i don't expect to get much out of the next five or so movies. but i need to know. #i guess saw v mightve suffered bc i watched it basically immediately after iv #something i didnt do with any of the others #but i was told v was one of the good ones so i was looking forward to it. i dont think it was burnout yknow #but uh. i didn't like it. i think i liked iv more honestly. strahm and hoffman do absolutely nothing for me #i liked the traps. that was it though #it felt so pointless and empty. it was the first one where i genuinely wondered why they made it. why did they decide to keep going with #this. i think ii and iv both function more/better as setup for their following films but like. at least iii was pretty good yknow #like both amanda and hoffman's accomplicing feels kinda retconned in but at least amanda's an interesting character #what does hoffman have. what does strahm have. nothing. and no i don't think they have much in the way of homoeroticism either. #i don't tend to be so negative and im sorry if someone goes in the saw tags and feels bad about me talking shit about something they like #because i know that doesn't feel good. honestly i'd love to hear why people like v. maybe it'll change my opinion of it if i look at it a #different way yknow? but for now im just annoyed by it. iv was engaging in the moment but very forgettable #i liked riggs well enough but we barely learned a thing about him. he wasn't a deep character at all and i think that's a shame #but v was just a paperwork-based cat and mouse chase. 90 minutes and it still felt like they were wasting my time #why did strahm go to the old trap locations? i don't think he found anything out there. likr it was just a framing device for the flashback #but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time #not an original critique im sure but saw ii on seems to be more focused on scale and layers of shit (i.e. having two games going at once) #than using the traps to examine the characters. i mean you go from two guys in a bathroom for a couple hours #learning about who they are gradually at a slow pace vs like 8 people in a house plus cop stuff plus 90 second traps of dubious fairness #hoffman has no real relationship with kramer (unlike amanda) and basically everyone who'd been following jigsaw is dead and so are jigsaw #and (presumably) amanda. what am i supposed to be here for? the vague outline of a saw trap? the type of torture happening? #im not even opposed to that per se but frankly the more they focus on the cops surrounding this shit the less fun it is #why are you making all the traps like 15 seconds long and tied to characters who aren't the primary focus. it's saw #ughh i miss adam. i miss amanda. hell i miss kramer and he was pretty present in this one (flashbackwise) #whateverrr. anyway that poll comparing chainshippng shotgunnshippng and coffinshippng where shotgun was last? lesbophobic. #im only half joking about that. im sure ppl have their reasons for coffin but i also think it's the tendency fandom bias for “two white guy #ships. but hey maybe vi and onwards will add more context to that that'll make me reconsider. i mean i wouldn't have liked the amanda #accomplice thing That much if i'd only seen ii. i think iii really makes it mesh better and it leads to fun character stuff #(though i still think i would've liked it more bc like. amanda was always grateful to jigsaw right? again hoffman comes outta nowhere)

[evviejo]

okay, i wasn't going to say anything about the upcoming era, 'cause i want to be positive here and not spread any negativity at all, but: couldn't they have waited any longer with the new logo? couldn't they have waited a little with the video with ncuti? couldn't they have at LEAST used a picture of 13 with the sonic in it, instead of 10? my annoyance at how rtd seems to be treating his return to power - like nothing in jodie's run was worth preserving or promoting - is making me far less excited to see the anniversary specials and the next doctor than i want to be.

#and i refuse to call the new tennant doctor fourteen #that's microwaved ten ffs #i was excited to hear he and donna were coming back #now i'm not sure i am #and i'll be mad if they ruin ten for me #he was once my favourite doctor #this shit better be worth it #dw wank #dw stuff #negativity

[dcviline]

hi I'm home but I did not get great news from the doctor today so I'm a little :')

#᯽ ooc. ⊱ ── ❝ 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪. ❞ #medical tw #negative tw #I'm frustrated I don't even know how to explain it #I'm not gonna dump too much on the dash about it but basic tmi tl;dr #I might have some permanent hearing loss that was entirely preventable #all because my insurance provider and the healthcare system kept fucking around with me for the past year dealing with these problems #we're doing one more round of treatments but if it's not better in the next two months then I'm probably just shit out of luck #which really fucking sucks bc I'm a musician and now I can't hear any of it the same :( #I'm just. I'm extremely upset and kinda resigned about it idk.

[salsflore]

ummmm

#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~ #my favorite image on this device btw ^ #cw negative #cw vent #you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than- #-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so #but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but #my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i- #-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something- #-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because- #-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles- #-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all #i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me #i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years- #-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and- #-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great- #-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do? #how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time? #i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though #so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun- #-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!! #how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol #everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit #i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden

[daz4i]

i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore

#what's the point in any of this 😐 i will literally never be okay. i never have been okay. I've had debilitating anxiety since birth #it's not going to go away it's literally getting worse as i grow older and so is my depression #hate to hear ppl say it gets better when I've been gradually getting worse since i was like 13 #which is extremely funny. bc when i was 13 is when most of my suicide attempts took place #at least i was active and took initiative back then 🙄 i only became too tired to keep trying since #i don't want to kill myself i just want to be dead. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm always feeling awful. nothing is worth it #even when i feel good it's like 1% of how bad i always feel. and it's not like there's much good to go around anyway #i don't understand now people don't constantly feel like losing their mind over how shit life is truly #there's this line in nlh actually. where yozo asks how come ppl don't constantly want to kill themselves. and yeah felt #i can barely distract myself anymore bc nothing is stimulating enough esp when I'm alone #and i don't. care enough. about anything. to want to stay alive. like i said nothing is worth it. idc if ppl would be sad sorry #i don't even know what I'm saying anymore man. idk why I'm doing so bad rn. it's been a tough week ig. #nothing actually happened but everything is just. less than average. a little worse than neutral. just enough to be grating #i don't want to kill myself but i wish i could #wish i wasn't a coward wish i didn't fear permanent damage or hospitals or even just pain i have no control over #nothing happened but everything sucks. existence is disappointing. i would like to stop #vent #suicide // #negative // #ask to tag #i genuinely don't know what to do now. i can't distract myself. i probably shouldn't fall asleep when I'm like that #(at least if i don't want to have nightmares like i did all week and for tomorrow to be even worse) #tbh i doubt i even COULD fall asleep like that lol my brain's working too fast as usual 😐 #sigh. sorry for the vent. trying to clear some of the dirt off my psyche

[curlyhairedintrovertsworld]

haven't had an asexual related trigger in over a month until today and now i'm sad

#asexual #ace #aspec #asexual problems #i don't wanna know when ppl lose their virginity #it's no one's fucking business #intrusive tw #sex tw #don't fucking out ppl like that #i hate knowing shit i didn't need to know #it's more like a sex related trigger but it's my trigger so whatever #can my selective hearing fix itself so i never hear anything related to this ever again #sex repulsed #not to be #sex negative #but that's my triggered coping mech until I feel better ig #idk

[istherewifiinhell]

If i could have one fucking blessing from the small gods of labour... break the fucking radio. Please.

#some shit #bring a boombox radio or smth to work man. its always louder in the back than at till and im gonna. #like techincally this makes me worse at my job cause i can hear shit or focus. but also. i just hate it . #small god of labour are the ones that break shit so u have a slightly better day at work. i think ive posted abt that before. #like free bus rides or delayed shipments that mean u have less to do. #getting free shit also. ofc. #*cant hear. vsvdhd fuck u reserve negative typos. my enemy.

[nowendil]

it's 3 am and i woke up because my dog had another coughing fit (it wasnt even that bad but i have been so worried about her it woke me up anyway despite the fact that we sleep on different floors of the house) and she's fine for the time being it was just one cough and i helped her get a better sleeping position but I'm just so worried so worried so worried i feel physically ill. the new meds are helping but i feel like not enough and the vet said we only have one more med option if this one doesnt help and i know all of these only treat the syptoms because the thing that's wrong cant be dealt with and i know many dogs lead happy lives with this same condition but. but she's old. she's old but she's so happy and lively otherwise and the cough has been better after we started the meds maybe this is just a bad night and it was just one coughing fit but what if it's getting worse what if she chokes during the night and i sleep through it what if i dont and i just cant do anything what if she dies and it's my fault. i'm so worried

#cw negative #cw rant #cw animal death #dont reblog #nowe talks #sorry for all this i just needed to get it out and i dont want to sent this to anyone bcs nobody deserves to wake up to this shit asdfghjkl #she had a cough yesterday morning too and i spent all day just sitting next to her obsessing over her breathing #but i cant do that now because she sleeps downstairs with my parents...i'm just. so worried. worried fucking sick #ok now i'm going to blow my nose and stop crying and go squat in the kitchen to see of i can hear her breathing from there #so i can keep watch without waking up my parents #sorry about being so mentally ill about this it's the mental illness #edit: went to check on her she wasnt on the better sleeping position anymore which worries me but she was asleep and breathing okay. #but now it's really windy outside and i'm afraid the noise will cover up any possible further coughing from her. #though tbf every noise i hear kind of sounds like distant coughing to my ears anyway atm #i'm. worried #also feeling a bit like an asshole for word vomiting like this...especially because there really isnt anything anyone can do unfortunately #this cant be fixed just managed (both my dog's trachea and my anxiety about it)

[mrfoox]

I know im a broken record but I wish I could do more things without burning all my energy lmao

#miranda talking shit #Negative #I want to have more normal energy levels like... Going outside to buy things for two hours shouldn't make me exhausted for the rest of #The day. A social situation for 2-3 hours shouldnt make me exhausted and need another two days to recharge #I literally take medication to make me handle things better like ... Im still struggling so bad #Hearing of normal people having 8+ hours workday doing chores and taking cate of themselves like i genuinely can't #I hate it and feel like such a failure... Like if im supposed to keep up an routine and not get burned out after a few weeks #Things need to be very tailored and its basically impossible in the real world... #I have to balance being alive bc i legit cant handle it its depressing #And trying to explain it is bad like... My energy levels are usually at 20-30% / 100% #Aint no one that can understand unless they have experienced it basically

[yoohyeontual]

I feel so much emotions and none at the same time right now

#DO NOT REBLOG #i just broke down crying and calm down #and I just wanna cry hug my dog tell him I love him and all #but I don’t wanna stressed him #especially cause my dad cried in his face for like 30 minutes #and my dad never cry so I’m mad at him but I wanna hug him so bad but my dad also have to much ego and don’t wanna be touch if he cries #so I’m on my couch on Tumblr like nothing happen cause the last thing I want to do is break down again #reblogging shit is calming but I feel like an hypocrite acting like nothing happen 😭 #i was so calmes when it happen it was scary I usually cry at nothing #but I was shaking like crazy hearing my dad cry and call out puppy’s name #it’s traumatic tbh #i wanna see my cousin so bad but I can’t but I need her 😭 #i should text her but it’s not the same 😔 #Bestie is also working so she can tell me everything will be fine and calm me down like usual 😭 #i was so happy this morning he was breathing so much better than last week like a normal dog and this happen #2 second before I posted a pic of Sowon and was gonna post a video but now I can’t feel any happiness #alex.txt #tw negativity #tw sick dog #tw sick pet #tw sick animal

[inlovewithaspiderguy]

“but does anyone notice there’s a corpse in this bed?”

#I relate. shit #I’m feeling fucking fine #should start a depression posts tag so y’all can block my negativity #no one really needs to hear what I say #don’t know why I’m getting choked up but I am #wow so many things I can talk about with my therapist tomorrow #except I won’t be able to because my mom will be there #and she will want to discuss my hygiene issues #but I have been under my sheets for hours #I think that’s a little more important #is this just a tough moment that will pass #vent #rant #depression posting #fucking yay #thought I was getting better

[chisungie]

.

#GRRR >:( searching for utapri content makes me so grrrr !! but also thoroughly impressed #because people will post shit with the song title and group name ex quartet night you're my life #and ill hear it. and ill be like huh? what happened to the VA it sounds kinda diff? why does camus sound like hes struggling.. #like ranmarus voice is rougher whats up with that? the mix is also a little- AND THEN I'LL HEAR IT. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GOOD AT THE VOICE #BUT I CAN RECOGNIZE MY BOYS. THIS IS A FUCKIGN COVER GROUP >:(( #i can pick out quartet night cover groups from the real deal ANYDAY. but i wasnt ready so you definitely had me convinced but confused sobs #for starish.. well usually one member gives it away. this camus is fucking good tho ngl. all of them are but- OH THEY ALWAYS DO EXTRA ADLIB #THAT TOO. cover groups r so creative.. oh the mix is so much better when its the official ALSKDJ sORRY IT PLAYED RIGHT AFTER #DUDE AOI SHOTA'S VOICE <3 ID NEVER MIX HIM UP WITH ANYONE !!!! just like ill never EVER GET OTOYA MIXED UP WITH SOMEONE COVERING HIM. NEVER #anyway the point is. its hard enough to find any fucking utapri song when ur not in japan or have a vpn or smn. #and THEN WHEN YOU DO FIND THE SONG ITS A FUCKING COVER GROUP THAT GOT UNCREDITED BC OP THINKS ITS THE OFFICIAL ONE.. NO! #to the cover groups credit tho. theyre always fucking amazing tbh and if i didnt spend multiple years of my life fixating on these voices #then u mightve fooled me. but i did! so u wont fool me :')) #feelsbad tho bc the cover groups/singers get uncredited and the internet just goes on believing that it's the official release. #44597 #anyway thats my rant bc i tried to listen to a song i hadnt heard in a while and had to wonder if the singers always sounded so awk.not neg

[kaleidoscopicbullettrain]

#“mental health awareness” is a joke #literally everytime ive tried reaching out to somone theyve. Left or went #“well damn that sucks. sorry dude” and didnt offer anything else #i understand the idea that other people have shit going on #but i try not to come out the gate saying i have real issues with suicidal ideation. self isolation #and general negative thoughts about myself that are. straight up not helpful #this is why i fucking hate when people talk about their friends or loved ones like #“ooh they were so nice and funny tho. they seemed so happy :(” #bitch no one listens when we DO reach out #nothing feels appropriate as an oppener #ive literally been told that other people have their own problems too #like okay man #im literally battling for my fucking life here. sorry to hear your life is also stressful #i know for my personal experience. im NICER to people who make small comments about being sad #or if someone were to approach me personally. id try to make them feel better!! #what the fuck!!!! What The Fuck!!!! #why is my life a black fucking hole #i dont even have that sweet curteousy of friends who dote on me at all

[snekdood]

ppl who say you’re “tainted by your past/upbringing” are hypocrites. yall are not born leftists. not here in this country we know as america. please get your head out of your ass.

#if this is true then yall are admitting to still being homophobic n shit like you used to be as kids #like i reeaaaallly dont care what you need to tell yourself to sleep at night here im sorry. #theres no way in hell yall were just like. perfectly leftist growing up w no wrong opinions or bias's #and whpo werent negatively influenced by ppl around you. theres no world but the one you invented in your brain like that. #i feel like i can hear this being said by girls i went to school with who were. no fucking doubt homophobic lmao. #if yall were repelled by even someone SUGGESTING the IDEA that i was interested in you- since i was percieved as a woman back then- #(not even that i was attracted to any of yall but im sure its what you felt the need to tell yourselves) #you're gonna hafta reaaallly fucking prove to me that its not homophobia lmao. like please just be honest with yourself. you're not perfect #and pure and innocent and have never done wrong. you're not little uwu sweet baby who never does wrong. you're just not. im sorry #idk why you need to tell yourself this this much except that you depend on feeling good about yourself by weighing yourself against others #which boy howdy let me tell you that shit is not sustainable lmao. #whatya gonna do when everyone you're weighing yourself against is actually being more progressive and a better person about whatever #subject? what then wiseass?