rant in the tags
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Negative thoughts below
I fucking hate being (redacted mental illness), I was in a really good mood all day and suddenly I'm in the bathroom having a complete break down and sobbing??? Lol I hate myself I know I shouldn't say that and that putting myself down makes it worse but I can't help it when this happens, I make everything worse when my mood swings downwards and it fucks up everyone else's mood around me because then they don't understand why I'm "suddenly" upset, I !!! Have!!! No!!! Control!! Of !!! My!! Emotions!!! Just my actions, which is why I leave and try to let the swing play out until I can calm down a little, but I feel like I'm going g to be sick. I just hate this I hate it so much, I hate my family for taking me off my meds THAT HELPED when I was a teen and then screwing me over insurance wise so I couldn't get them back, I need to be medicated, I feel so out of control and like it's all so hopeless. Either I feel numb for weeks or I feel everything 100x over. I'm going to try to calm down
I'm sorry I just needed to vent.
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im probably not gonna be on here much tbh like at least not until ee starts airing normally again not bc of spoilers or anything im just. tired. of seeing ass backwards takes all the time. i don't need to come on here and see anons somehow making ben and callum's separate issues a competition or people criticizing literally every single thing about the characters or the storyline or the show. i don't need to see the bullshit opinions of people who have NO experience with these issues. and even if you take that part out of it, it's not healthy for anyone exposing yourself to/engaging in so much negativity so constantly. and i'm not willing to do it anymore ! sorry!
idk i don't wanna be preachy but i do kindly want to encourage you all to generally stop being so negative ! for your own sakes ! you might not realize it but you internalise that shit ! if you're not enjoying something just acknowledge it and move on ! don't dwell on it ! don't come online and write 15 posts about everything that's Wrong about something other people enjoy ! what do you gain ! what do you get out of nitpicking everything ? do you feel better ? genuinely ? do you think it's healthy ? and i realize i've been guilty of this sometimes in the past but i realized it was just making me miserable and angry and once i stopped i felt SO much better and i genuinely just want that for all of us. like does it serve you ? does it serve the greater good? no ? then move on i beg
it's really not as hard as you think it is to not be negative. and if you really aren't enjoying something and all you CAN do is see issues and faults then maybe you need to disengage from that thing entirely !! just a thought !!
hmmm my problem is that i let people treat me badly and then when people say 'YOU LET PEOPLE TREAT YOU THAT WAY?' i’m like ‘yes <3 i do’
I just can't get away from it.
Cancer feels like it's all around it.
My dad. My gran died of it just over seven months ago. I found out an old friend now has it in three places and my boyfriend has the clinic tomorrow to check out a lump they found and I'm overthinking cause my head can't stop.
I'm constantly getting cancer charity adverts and they are all getting to me.
Sometimes fandom is just exhausting…
day be so fine,,, then boom,,,, I remember the sc*tt discourse (tw: death mention under the cut, specifically of immigrants )
I feel so bad for getting so upset because I dont want to seem like im overreacting cuz I have adhd and I do have a bad issue with controlling my rsd but god...... some people dont know how fucking traumatizing it was during that time I literally have tr*mps name fucking blacklisted because I just get reminded of the shit I would see online or on tv during that time and it makes me panic so badly
I just think back to the dead fucking bodies, they were real those were real fucking dead bodies of immigrants just floating in the water just fuck fuck fuck the bodies of a fucking salvadorian and his daughter jsut triyng to find a beteter life jsut christ fuck I fucking part Salvadorian, my grandfather on my motehrs side is a salvadorian, im first fucking generation and I had to sit through hearing about babies born in states being called 'anchor babies' and dehumanized daily fuck fuck just fuck
its not just a harmelss opinion when it enables fucking people who casually talk and share pictures of dead immigrants to be in posistions of pwoer over thsoe immgirant the shit they did to them fuck man I hate it I hate it fnaf meant so much to me but i cant think about it now without thking about the dead fucking bodies the shit they said and did to people of my ethnciity
it wasnt like the tr*mp administations disdain for hispanics were a fucking secert fuck I remember the day that campaign got popualr because he started villifiyng us and people were saying 'finally someone who isnt afraid to say the truth' fuck I was a teenager, I was just barely getting into young adulthood when I saw the dead fucking bodies, I know I jsut need time but I can't think about fnaf without thinking about the dead bodies
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having hayfever be like
"oh boy I sure would like my nose to have a use!"
Hi! Sorry if this comes off a bit rude I'm not the best with words.. But could you maybe remove the tags where you discuss about Itakugi and itafushi? I think it would be a lot better if we just put their names like "yuji/nobara" and "yuji/megumi" when it comes to discussing them. Not many people are too keen on seeing discussions about their ships critically and I don't think anyone wants a Fandom war..
Do not worry. And I start by pointing out that the last thing I want is to cause fights or anything like that, I only put the tags because it is related to what I comment, so much so that I am impartial and always make it obvious that it is not my intention to morally harm someone and I do not disagree with the possibility of canon, in the case of itakugi for example.
I think everyone is tired of the fan war. I've been following a lot of fandons for years and I get fed up, but I'm going not to give my opinion about it just because I'm tired? However, before asking me about it, I had already decided not to comment, answer questions and mark itakugi so as not to bother anyone even though it was on my account. If I come to comment from yuji and nobara, it will just be about how much I love their bond, except it, I leave to fandom.
ps: the tags are now just to express myself in both. Anyway.
Good week, anon 🌼
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mahogany obsidian point ‼️
One day c!Sam gets c!Ponk to heal up c!Dream is prison because he's a doctor.
C!Ponk sees the blood on the walls and the abaolute horror which is c!Dream's mental and physical health.
C!Ponk assures c!Dream that he will help him and shares the story of how he lost his arm to c!Sam.
But c!Dream has given up.
"P-Ponk, i-if you have ever v-valued you l-life, f-forget about this. F-forget w-what you s-saw in here and n-never come b-back..."
When c!Ponk leaves the prisom and c!Sam is about to activate the portal, the warden says.
"Nothing you saw will leave this prison, or your arm will be the least of your problems."
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OKAY okay, uhhh, Wayward Son spoilers ahead. i'm listening to the audiobook and this is agonizingly slow. i have complaints (that are my fault)
i've got this baby on 1.4 speed. I'm half-way through. i started a month ago. Wayward Son is too slow for me, I think. It's been a month of me attempting to finish this damn book, and yeah, i could be frustrated because of how the plot is picking up, but this is just. sad. and terrible.
i know this is because i'm not used to audiobooks. this is my second one (the first one being Carry On). but damn, i can't believe this is 9 hours long. i can't believe the first was 12! If only i could play animal crossing during this book, it was the only way i got through the first.
anyways. Shepard is getting on my nerves and that's okay, because that's probably what Rowell wants to convey. or not. eitherway, this book is too much, and i don't blame myself for taking this long to read this one. i think i'm obligated to read the third book soon.
So ummm...last week I got tested for Diabetes, only because my Dad was recently diagnosed and uh, yeah.... I've fucking got it and I had absolutely no idea. So some major lifestyle changes ahead which I anticipate will impact on my ability to be here as frequently. Who knows, frankly I'm still a bit in shock about it. Seeing my GP tomorrow to discuss my options but honestly, I had no idea 2021 could be worse than 2020, what the fuck, ha ha.
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feels kinda weird that people make money on anime merch by slapping manga panels onto shirts. like, not even fanart, it’s just black & white manga panels (which look AMAZING on shirts, don’t get me wrong).
but it’s 2021. it’s been discussed to death, and yet consumers don’t understand that most manga artists are underpaid. yes, effort was put into resizing the design for a shirt, but that’s like .01% effort compared to the artists and producers that created a popular story in the first place.
on the flip side, if you make d*sney-copyrighted merch, i think their lawyers might burn your house down or something?? (i’m no expert but we got in trouble for hosting a karaoke night at college and advertising it with popular cartoon princesses).
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growing up made me think about why my parents never apologized for anything
i restricted yeaterday and did well until i binged cause i was hungry and sad :-3 so
It feels good to block someone who has treated your work like shit, stepped all over you and still expects to be friends. Like yes, please, be my friend and walk into this unsuspecting guillotine not at all meant or sized for you.
can't wait until i finally graduate from this program and i can tell my supervisor to his face, "listen, i'm saying this because i'm trying to help you going forward: you are an asshole, and you need to work on that and make a genuine effort to be nicer" because like.... the fact that i still have even a sliver of enthusiasm for science is fucking insane after dealing with this godawful robot moonlighting as a human being for the last two years
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