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#...and - if you can believe it - some of us ENVY your age or experiences or even body

lilydoeswrite · 3 months

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guys should i have this as a side project apart from the merciless siren let me know lol (this is related to my only other pjo work)

The stories of the Greek gods, yeah, they’re real.

If you’re reading this right now thinking this sentence is all one big joke, good for you, continue reading as you please. In fact, I envy you if you’re able to think this is all fiction.

If you’re reading this because you’re starting to believe that the myths you were told as a kid are real, or you’re experiencing experiences science can’t quite explain, my advice is to close this book right now.

If you ever see yourself or relate to anything in these pages and feel something weird stirring inside– stop immediately. Because, as soon as you realise you’re one of us– and chances are, you probably are, they can sense it as well. And they’ll come for you.

You’re doing this at your own risk. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

My name is Laila Lim.

I’m twelve years old and until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at College La Victoire in Romandie, Switzerland; the french speaking part. I’m originally from Surrey, England, although my mother is Chinese and Thai.

Why am I in boarding school?

I’m not sure.

Sometimes I think it’s because my mother found me too troublesome and chose to ship me off. But, regardless, I had a good time there. I’m good at sports, music and academics– not to brag, but you can call me an all-rounder. But at the same time I guess you could say I’m a troubled kid.

I could start at any point of time in my short life but things only really started to go south last July when I visited New York City for the first time.

I know– it sounds exciting. Most of my trips overseas with my mother are and this would be my first time heading to the States, so I had expectations.

My mother is in her late thirties– thirty-six, to be exact. She has long black hair and brown eyes. When she was younger, she was a model, that’s how beautiful she is, although now she is a CEO of some big law firm with the biggest obsession over Greek mythology. My father? I have no idea. But I do know that he’s the reason I have blue eyes. That is really the only trait I inherited from him.

Well, back to the trip. Everyone has heard of New York City. ‘New York or nowhere’ as some say. I was really looking forward to this trip because first, it would be my first time in the States and it’d be in New York City out of all places. Second, it’s close to where my mother had met my father.

She doesn’t talk about him a lot but I know she met him in the outskirts of New York.

Anyways, it wasn’t until I stepped into New York that the hallucinations I’d get from time to time really worsened. And I mean it was really bad. I kept seeing strange things, strange creatures that looked scarily close to the pictures in the books my mother used to read to me. I tried my best to enjoy my trip, I really did, but the hallucinations just kept getting worse and worse.

I still had a good time, though. My mother had to meet up with all her supermodel and celebrity friends and, must I say, the presents they give are extravagant. I’m talking designer bags and fancy jewellery. I knew they were rich but man, I didn’t expect getting things like those, although I’m not complaining. I’m guessing my mother must’ve sent my ‘super unrealistic wish list for your super duper child’ slideshow because everything I had been given was on that wish list.

Anyway, back to New York City.

We spent most of our time shopping and sightseeing. If you exclude my hallucinations, the trip was going absolutely fine. In fact, I was having a lot of fun. That was until we visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek stuff; as I said, my mother is huge on ancient Greece and its mythologies.

I guessed some school was having their field trip there because there were a bunch of kids my age as well, which I have to be honest, really scared me. This one girl kept giving me judgemental looks for whatever reason, but I couldn’t care less to be honest. Why is this important? Because when one of the teachers had brought this kid in to, what I assume, scold him, she started making this weird growling noise.

At this point of time, I was alone looking at one of the other statues as they must have not noticed me but I certainly did notice them.

‘You’ve been giving us problems, honey,” she said in her weird voice.

‘Yes, ma’am,” the boy my age says.

‘Did you really think you would get away with it?’ She says.

‘I’ll – I’ll try harder ma’am.’

Now, this is the part where it gets weird because it felt as though thunder shook the building,

‘We are not fools, Percy Jackson. It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain.’

I know eavesdropping is wrong but, look, I couldn’t help it. First, what kind of name is Percy? Like Percy Pig? The pig mascot for Marks and Spencers? Second, confess, pain? Find out what? Look, I knew stuff in New York City would be different, but I didn’t think it’d be that different.

‘Well?’ she demands.

‘Ma’am, I don’t…’ the boy says

‘Your time is up,’ the woman hissed. Then, you’re not going to believe what happened because it’s the weirdest thing in the world. I was scared, even hiding behind the statue I was originally looking at. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons and I could tell that her eyes were glowing.

At first I thought I was seeing things, that it was all a big hallucination, but based on the reaction from the other boy, he was seeing them as well.

Her jacket melted into these large wings and she didn’t look one bit human. She had bat wings and claws and yellow fangs.

And just when I thought things couldn’t get any weirder, well, they did.

This man in a wheelchair tossed a pen to the boy right before the monster woman thing lunged at him. Then, the next thing I see is that the pen had turned into this bronze sword.

‘Die, honey!’ she snarls, flying straight at him.

I’m as still as a statue watching what is going on. Because what is going on?

The boy swings the sword at her and then it passes through her body and a loud hissing sound was made before the woman exploded into yellow powder and seemed to vaporise on the spot, leaving nothing but the weird smell of sulphur you would only typically get in the science labs of my school as a dying screech fills the air.

Then, the boy spots me. ‘Did you see that?

‘Yeah?’ I nod, looking at him strangely as I wonder how on earth he had managed to spot me before he went back outside.

Then, my mother returns and I tell her all about it and she looks at me as if I’m saying some foreign language.

‘Whatever,’ she brushes it off. ‘I’ll book an appointment with Dr Clark when we get back, alright?’

I nod. My hallucinations must be getting worse.

#percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo series #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fic #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson x oc #luke castellan #annabeth chase #pjo fic

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hisdarlingabsurdity · 11 months

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Frankenstein's Monster

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem! Human! Reader

Tags: slow af. Part two otw. Bitter, jaded reader. Stressed Neteyam. Slow burn. Reader is a reader.

You haven’t been yourself lately, and you think it might have something to do with how everything is just so blue. Ever since you were so disrespectfully given birth to, you’re almost always surrounded by blue. It wasn't annoying at first, except the color never seems to be out of sight, there's always something that's blue everywhere you look. Literal blue aliens talk to you. And nobody has any idea how vexed you are at how ridiculously blue the sky is. Now the sea. Everything is just so goddamned blue.

But you say nothing. It would be unbecoming of you to complain (about something so silly too) after all, it was the Sullys who saved you, Jake had taken you under his wing and taught you almost all he knows about surviving here as a human, so it makes sense that they would take you with them in their self-imposed exile.

They saved you from Dionysus Red, Container 12 where you were known as Subject 003. Even your uniform as No. 3 back then was blue. No wonder you hate the color.

You really do not know where you stand with all of this. You are grateful, yes. You now eat three times a day, and not those shitty slop they served you back in Dionysus. You had a room of your own and you were free to do as you like, study, learn, listen to music, read, and use the technologies so generously bestowed upon you at Hell's gate. But you didn't belong there, hell, you don't belong anywhere on this moon you were so kindly shoved into existence on.

But you were glad that there was another human there that was your age. His name was Spider and you think he's stupid, especially when he tries to hiss. You adore him, but he gets on your nerves sometimes.

"I wish I could breathe outside like you. It's so unfair," he said one day.

You were watching a video about earth when he strutted in, and stared at you for five minutes straight, before finally speaking. You peek over the screen in favor of looking him in the eyes when you respond. "Sorry we couldn't salvage any of the tech they used to experiment and torture me for an ability I did not ask for. Though it would've been better if you waited for them to make it to subject 14, maybe by then they'd be working on people like me but with tails so they can make tsaheylu."

He shook his head, unraveling his crossed arms. "Okay, sorry. But that wasn't what I meant. You know that."

You shrug. "I don't know what you need my lungs for when you can just stay here with me and just…not go outside, to a world where everything tries to kill ya." You see him giving you a pointed look.

"But you don't even stay here all the time like that, I also envy how Jake gets you himself and teaches you how to survive here. Like, are you kidding me? The Chief himself? And he's practically adopted you." He mumbles the last part.

You wonder if he sees the arrangement as special treatment. You don't see it as such but of course, leave it to Spider to overthink things. If he pursues this logic, as ridiculous as it is, he might even one day think that Jake sees you as part of his family. Fool.

"He tries, and I have no idea why. I'm just going with it because I respect him and I believe he's doing it because for some reason (you sigh) he sees me as his responsibility. He's got like what, six kids? Ain't that enough brats to handle?"

"He's teaching you all that stuff because it's all you need since you can breathe their air, all that's left is for you to learn skills and stuff. Y'know, stuff scientists can't inject on you." he says as he plops himself up on a table. "And he's got four."

You roll your eyes, before they flickered to his legs, freshly smeared with spartan fruit, dyed to mimic the Na'vi body stripes. He sees you looking and sighs once again. "You see what I do to try and feel like I belong with them?"

"You certainly belong with them more than I do, you grew up here, and you get along with his children too."

"More like they tolerate me." He rolls his eyes.

"Their mom tolerates you, the kids like you." You drop the datapad on the table to completely focus on him. "That's something, isn't it? At least the kids don't hate you. His eldest glares at me like I personally offended his ancestors."

"Oh, they don't hate you. You don't exactly make it easy to approach you."

"Yeah, well I'm not that interested in making friends, ok? I've got you already. In any case, I think you might as well be part of their family with the amount of time you spend around them."

"I still think being able to breathe the same air as them would help a lot," he replies.

Sometimes you still miss him.

You do hope that he's still alive…unless he's in a situation where dying is much more preferable.

Naturally, since Jake Sully more or less became your guardian, you had to leave with them. You didn't mind really, and you felt a kind of loyalty towards him, loyalty that's bordering on obsequiousness, and it scares you because you know you would do anything he asks of you (so you've gotten good at hiding before he gets the chance).

And that same loyalty made you feel anger again for the first time in a long while.

"Absolutely not." Ronal says, the moment her eyes landed on you, she's already decided.

You feel blood rush to your ears, your fingers digging into your palms as you feel everyone's eyes on you. You knew what Jake's family was thinking. That Neyteri was right and that they shouldn't have taken you with them. Now, they were moments away from finally convincing the chief to let them stay, and your mere presence ruined it. You hated the fact that they would be rejected, and sent away because of you. You knew you'd cause an inconvenience, everyone did, yet they just had to drag you along.

You were seriously even considering friendship with them, since you don't have a Hell's Gate to hide in, no Spider. Now they're all you've got. And you thought that maybe they don't hate you that much. But now the inconvenience of your presence was palpable, you realize that you've got no right to even think about friendship.

"She's one of us…"

You could hear Jake in the background, voice too muddled because you couldn't focus, you didn't want to focus, because if you did, you'd hear what they had to say, and when you do, you wouldn't be able to help but formulate a response, and then you'd never be able to keep your mouth shut like Jake practically begged you to. So you bit your lip, kept your eyes on the ground, and held your tongue.

⌛🌊⌛

You yawn as you stretch, popping a few joints here and there. You step out of your new home with the Sullys, which was what they called a marui. You look up at the blue sky, then down at the blue sea. Then you catch some of the reef folks giving you the stink eye. You glare back and they shuffle away with a grimace, all pride and indignation. You really wanted to give those blue, lanky-ass grumps a good throttling.

"Stop glaring at the locals, dad told us to behave." The eldest of the Sully kids say as he steps out, already geared up for the day. You look up at him. "He only meant it for you troublemakers. Also, it wouldn't matter if I behaved or not."

It didn't matter because they would always find something to be displeased about when it came to you.

You knew that he knew exactly what you meant and you walked away. Then you went padding right back, then past him to grab the book you forgot from inside the marui. You feel his gaze at you as you leave until you rounded a corner, walking far away to go look for a hiding spot for the rest of the day.

You plan on making the most of your freedom before Jake masters whatever water animal it is he's practicing on, because then he'll have time to spare on you.

You hear someone call out your name.

You turn and watch as Kiri sprints her way towards you. You squint up at her, almost blinded at the bright smile she was sending down at you. What an angel.

"Now, where are you skulking off to again?"

"Anywhere that's far enough."

She looks around comically. "I don't think dad would appreciate you migrating off to another island for your reading time."

"Haha, very funny." You say, trailing off awkwardly, not knowing how to further contribute to the small talk she was obviously initiating.

She giggles as she proceeds to walk ahead, slow enough to let you know that she wants to walk alongside you.

"Look, I just…" she starts, waving her hands a little as she looks for the words she wants to say. "I don't think separating yourself from us is a good idea."

You say nothing, so she continues.

To be honest, it wasn't surprising of her to approach you about this. Of course they might care a smidge about you, like one would normally feel for a stray cat they occasionally give food to.

"They might see that. That we aren't that close. They might realize the distance you're creating and use it to their advantage, to try and hurt you."

"Then you underestimate people, and their capacity for cruelty."

"I think they'd be too disgusted to even try and approach me."

"Oh, I'm well aware of cruelty, I never underestimate anyone's capability for it. But I know I can be just as cruel. You can count on me to not be a pussy and let them trample on me."

"I know. But I think it's better if you don't go looking for trouble…" she says.

"What do you mean?"

"I think it's better if you stay close to us, don't give them the opportunity to approach you. Don't give them a chance to get a rise out of you and cause conflict."

Oh but of course. Of course she wasn't worried about you, she just doesn't want you to cause more trouble for them. Fair enough. It was presumptuous of you to think that you'd even be on the same level as a stray cat.

"But I don't think your siblings would appreciate my presence around them. Believe me, I also don't want to cause anything bad for your family. Why'd you think I keep my distance for? I stay far away from you, because I know that they'll attempt to provoke me, maybe possibly even try to hurt me, get rid of me, or kill me. I stay far so no one will get involved. The conflict would be contained. Just me. Get it? "

You stop, and she turns to you with an even more worried look on her face as she scans your features. "That's a valid point," you say.

She stammers, struggling to reply as her cheeks darkened. What she was getting worked up for, you do not know. But you do hope that your genuine wish to not cause problems for them would set her mind at ease.

You walk off.

⌛🌊⌛

You think that perhaps they shouldn't worry too much about you causing trouble, when they can't keep away from it themselves.

You hear Jake's voice from inside the tent. He was seething, and you watch as Lo'ak, the second son, walks out of the marui, his face bruised. He huffs as he pushes past you. You decide against loitering around there like a nosy eavesdropper, not wanting to come face to face with anyone from the tent. Then Neteyam walks out of the Marui. He raises an eyebrow at you, then you turn your back, about to escape from the reaches of the flame, or at least tried to.

"And you," Jake calls out.

You turn towards him, and you see Neteyam grab this opportunity to vanish.

"You're coming with me."

"...um, no. I don't think so."

From the corner of your eyes, you see Neteyam pause, then pivot towards you, probably with a 'the fuck?' look on his face, the usual one he sends towards you.

Jake narrows his eyes as he stares you down, and you gulp.

"What I meant was, I am not ready yet, sir. I would like to have more time to gather my courage, please."

You hear Neteyam scoff.

Jake's brows drew together, deep in thought. You knew you had at least a little bit of a chance that he might relent when he takes his time to decide. If you had no chance at all, then he wouldn't have to think about it. You knew he was too busy for you, and you were right.

"Fine. But prepare yourself. I won't be as lenient once your training starts. You have a lot to learn."

You, in your relief, grinned up at him. He blinks, clearly taken aback, his stern gaze softening. How it baffled you even more, when he nodded and patted you on the head, before striding off.

You almost burst out laughing when you catch Neteyam gawking at you. You try to keep your lips from curling into a smug, shit-eating grin for his sake. You failed.

⌛🌊⌛

You hate how that exchange improved your mood so much. It was revolting, the way the world seemed so much brighter after receiving a pat on the head from your saviour. You must've been a lot more lonely than you let yourself realize.

Perhaps Jake knew, because he went ahead and dragged you with them to dinner. The dreaded communal gathering that you've been avoiding.

You should've attended these gatherings sooner.

You loved watching the reef folk squirm under your blank stare. And since Jake successfully mastered riding a skimwing, his reputation improved significantly. The reef folk are more careful not to offend him and his people now, at least in front of the chief. Now you can creep them out without having to worry about getting beat up (at least not right now).

The fun was cut off though, when Neteyam notices what you've been doing. He was onto you at once, smiling politely at the people he passed, then as he reaches you, his smile falls into a scowl. He leans down to you and whispers "will you stop doing that." It was more of a hiss, really. His smile was back again as he pulls away.

For the rest of the night, you can feel his gaze on you. You don't see your life flashing before your eyes, so it probably wasn't a glare anymore. It was unnerving, still. Especially since he's also, quite obviously hovering around you. He wasn't even trying to hide it, like a reminder, a warning.

It was a pretty nice distraction though. At least it was a far cry from the kind of looks you always get from the reef people. Granted, you kind of deserve it for creeping them out with your perfectly practiced, blank eyes, but they wouldn't receive such disturbing stares if they weren't looking at you in the first place. Since the beginning, they look at you like you were a walking direhorse shit. Except for that one girl named Tsireya. You could practically feel her curious stares like laser beams. At least they hurt less than the usual repulsion. Ah. Hurt. Yes, of course it hurts. No amount of bitterness and pretense of indifference can protect you from your very human weaknesses. The desire to be a part of a community. How completely alone you are now, without Spider, without those agreeable middle-aged scientists back in Hell's Gate, who exerted so much effort into building rapport with you. Tsireya's curious gaze is refreshing.

And as if she was summoned with the mere thought of her, Tsireya taps you gently on the shoulders. You meet her squinting eyes, sparkling with mirth, with your dead ones.

"Hi," she says

"Hi," you answer.

She looks down, still smiling. Shouldn't you say something? But she's the one who approached you, if anyone's gotta say something it should be her.

You watch as she purses her lips in thought. Then she meets your gaze again.

"I apologize. I've never met a human before, and don't really know how to say what I want to say exactly the way I mean them."

You feel a bit warm, right in the chest because she talks so gently and she's so nice and her voice doesn't bear any disgust or hostility…

"What I do want to say is that," she continues. "I would like to be your friend."

"No, thank you."

Observe, the way her eyebrows meet but with anger so nonexistent, its absence apparent in the way her lips form a pout, her eyes glistening in dismay. You know she feels guilty because of the way her villagers have been treating you. You start to feel a little guilty yourself, but her mortification at your unexpected rejection of her offer of friendship gives you that unhinged sense of satisfaction. It gives fuel to the tiny flames licking at the hollow feeling in your knees. It was exhilarating.

You knew Neteyam was watching, too stunned to try and save the day.

You also knew that her brother was watching, his body tensing at the sight of his upset sister. He was far enough away to give you time, and you wait as he pushes himself off the tree he was leaning against, his eyes burning holes at the side of your head.

"You wouldn't gain anything by becoming friends with me. If anything, it would probably upset your parents." You explain.

Tsireya shakes her head, and she grabs both of your hands. Your eyes widened at the contact.

"I do not think you deserve the way you've been ostracized. You are different, yes. But you are not evil, not like the demons we've heard so much about. Let me be your friend, we can show them that you are not one of those demons."

You did not expect this reaction, and you look around, hoping that no one other than her brother and Neteyam was looking, fat chance because everyone in the village has been blatantly looking at the two of you the moment she took your hands in hers.

"How do you even know that I'm not one of them?"

Aonung reached the two of you, his lips curling in disgust at the sight of your hand in his sister's.

"I have a feeling. And let us confirm this feeling of mine by spending more time together!" She gives you an earnest smile.

You wanted to shoot her down again and reject her, this time right in front of her brother, just out of spite. But with her round, bright eyes, her genuine smile and reassuring grasp, you couldn't do it.

"If you really want to, I guess." You shrug, trying to appear nonchalant, even as she squeals, shaking your hands as she gleefully bounces up and down. You wanted to smile too.

"Do you wish to be one of us or something?" Aonung asks, clearly giving his all to appear civilized.

"No." You answer simply, and as fast as you can before you could think of a rude answer.

You notice everyone losing interest in your conversation with the chief's children. The reef people are slowly getting back to mind their own businesses. You don't want to gain their scrutinizing gaze once again, and upsetting these two kids would.

"Then why are you trying to associate yourself with my sister?"

"Aonung," Tsireya groans. "I was the one who asked her first. I'm the one who wants to be friends."

Aonung ignores her as he steps closer towards you, his eyes flickering over to Jake before down again at yours. You couldn't help but steal a glance at Jake too, only to find him too busy talking with Tonowari, the chief. You meet Aonung's gaze once again, this time he was wearing a predatory grin.

"A human, a demon, trying to worm its way into somewhere it doesn't belong. That's what you are. Do not forget."

You take a deep breath, feeling the cool night air stretch your lungs as you try to resist the urge to deck him, right in front of his own village.

"What's up?" Lo'ak saunters toward your friendly group, both his arms resting on top of his head in a lazy manner. His clueless gaze shifting from Tsireya, then to you, then at Aonung. "Am I interrupting something?"

Simultaneously, the metkayina siblings answer a negative and a positive.

"Great, what is this? The gathering of freaks?" Aonung laughs. Neteyam winces, his eyes burning a fiery glare that you've become familiar with.

Kiri follow behind Lo'ak, sheepishly looking at you through her eyelashes.

"It must be, since you're here too." You say before Neteyam could even open his mouth.

The other three, Lo'ak, Kiri, and Tsireya blanches at your answer, the two other 'freaks' not even given enough time to feel offended. Silence ensues and you could almost hear the gears in Aonung's brain as he processes your unexpected retort. It definitely wasn't one of your best, and you cringe.

Lo'ak all but explodes in raucous laughter, causing eyes and heads to turn in your direction once again.

Aonung's sharp eyes flicker once again towards the direction where his father and Jake were, before huffing as he slowly backs away.

"That's right. Enjoy yourself tonight. It is a party after all."

He was definitely going to have you killed.

You know you've contradicted yourself when you told Kiri that you do not want to cause them trouble, only to later start provoking reef people. You managed to not make a scene (you kinda did) and ruin the party (you nearly did) though. That's something.

"What was that?" Neteyam asked, eyebrows slanted downwards in disapproval. You shrug. "Some guy walked up on me and started spouting shit?"

He huffs, clearly irritated. "You've obviously been annoying people on purpose," he says in a low voice, so as to not gain more attention.

"It was me who approached her!" Tsireya whispers, vehemently defending you.

"What happened?" Lo'ak asks, also whispering, his head bent and leaning towards you.

"We all know you've been making others feel uncomfortable on purpose." Neteyam says to you.

You scoff. "Story of my life in a nutshell."

"What?"

"I only treat people the way they treat me, Neteyam. They glare at me and it doesn't matter if I ignore them, they'll still see me as a monster and treat me like shit. I just decided to have fun with it."

Neteyam sighs. He looks around before meeting your gaze once again. "Just stop with the troublemaking, it's the least you can do."

You wanted to rip your hair off.

"Well, I'm sorry then. Sorry for terrorizing the metkayina people by mirroring their stares!" You flip Neteyam off, mouthing a very aggressive 'fuck you'. He gapes at you, mortified. You shake your head, muttering a tiny "shit" as you leave, already regretting the way you handled things, but still leaving as fast as you can to escape.

…

"You kinda deserved that." Lo'ak states.

Neteyam gives him an offended look, before also shaking his head as he walks off to the opposite direction, his head filled with thoughts of you.

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #avatar way of the water #avatar way of water

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impunkster-syndrome · 9 months

Text

I keep seeing this from people exiting the radqueer community, so I want to address it:

Some of the things that the radqueer community supports are not harmful in of themself or inherently radqueer beliefs or stances. It's easy to go from one extreme to the other in an attempt to course correct, which is something I am seeing happen very often.

Things that are not inherently radqueer:

- Support of endogenic systems (There's actually a very long history of endogenic systems being included in the plural community, even before the DID diagnosis was recognized. The earliest online plural communities included soulbonders, spiritual systems, and more, then disordered systems broke off into their own communities and infighting started.)

- Destigmatization of paraphilias and encouragement of recovery for those who need/want it (Pro paraphilia is not the same as being pro-contact). This includes kinks and fetishes that may make you uncomfortable like ABDL, CGL/MDLB/DDLG, etc.

- Having a complicated relationship with fiction due to trauma or other life experiences

- Transspecies and other alterhuman identities

- Having a complicated relationship with age due to trauma, disability, or being alterhuman in some way

- Educated self-diagnosis, recognizing flaws in the medical system and having to fight for a professional diagnosis of a condition

- Acknowledging that minors have sexualities that develop and that minors do need proper sex education to stay safe.

- BIID

Things that are inherently radqueer:

- Transplural, transDID, and other ways to "transition" to be plural that treat plurality with less weight than needed due to things like system responsibility, how seriously creating a thoughtform should be taken, etc

- Treating everything as if it is as fluid as queerness, or applying queer stances to non-queer parts of identity such as race, disability, paraphilias, species, etc that are not as fluid (Transid in general)

- Lack of respect for closed or semi-open cultures, practices, and communities based on the idea of being a part of that in a past life or some other reason. I put transrace/trace under this category

- Being pro-contact, radpara, or pro-complex/consensual contact for paraphilias that can cause harm to others or oneself if unsafely interacted with

- Believing children can consent and deserve to have sexual spaces that can be open to adults. This includes anything like "minors in kink," saying that minors should make and profit off of sexual content of themselves, or encouraging children to interact with adults or each other in a sexual way

- Romanticising disabilities and seeing them a desirable to have, and not the reality of ableism that people with those conditions experience. Attempting to gain disabilities out of envy of those who have them, or trying to gain a disability that you do not have and relying on stereotypes to "pass." Not listening to people who do have the conditions about the ableism they contribute to

If you're getting out of the radqueer space, you need to make sure to keep out of discourse that does not involve you (i.e. being anti/pro endo as a singlet, since there is already a massive problem with fakeclaiming and singlets using professionally diagnosed systems as a shield to allow themselves to have a space in our community and fakeclaim systems). Trying to course correct from one stance by going to the opposite stance without actually looking into it or if you can/should even get involved in the first place is harmful.

The best thing to do would be to take your time, since radqueer is one extreme and the other extreme is reactionary and based around a need to police others based on personal discomfort. Don't try to deconstruct it all immediately, but when you feel ready you can. The radqueer stance hijacks other movements to try to legitimize itself, since those other movements are more accepted than its own.

#anti radqueer

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mephinomaly · 5 months

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[TL] Flashback/Epilogue 2

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Kaoru: Grandpa was throwing a bit of a tantrum, saying he “hates complicated things”, so for the time being, we’ll just be going by UNDEAD.

Koga: Not much point in usin’ two separate brands. Besides, that criminal came up with HELLSING so I don’t wanna use it. Pisses me off.

Adonis: The delinquent most likely had his own ideas for UNDEAD, which was HELLSING.

Kaoru: Yeah. He was probably like “I can make the best version of UNDEAD!”

But we don’t need his idealised version of UNDEAD, we just need to shine brighter and brighter, as the real us.

Adonis: Easier said than done.

As Hakaze-senpai said earlier, both the radical immoral side and the variety programs side of us can be successful— It wouldn’t be superficial of us to do so.

Koga: It’s fine for us to get rid of one of them though. I, personally, think we should get rid of the variety programs.

Kaoru: You really hate those sorts of jobs, don’t you? …Like I said on stage yesterday, you can gain experience from anywhere.

You can’t grow big and strong if you’re a picky eater, you know?

Koga: Who do you think you are, my parents? Anyway, I get it, but I’m not gonna stop complainin’.

We need to eat everything, even if we don’t like it, so we can grow big and strong.

Kaoru: That’s the spirit ♪

Let’s do our best, ‘kay? The AIIE experiment was set up in order to trick us, nothing more to it—it almost felt like a dream.

We’ve seen real robots of ourselves and those kids from Ra*bits too.

The fakes were almost identical to the real us. At least, visually.

Technology and AI will only improve from here, and AI idols will become even more realistic.

Rei: Umu. That is how it seems to be progressing.

Kaoru: Oh? I didn’t see you so I thought you’d had an early morning bath? But then I didn’t see you in the bathroom either…?

Rei: Nay, I was enjoying the peaceful bliss of the early morning by taking a stroll.

I spoke with some neighbours who were also awake at this time, and once I grew tired, I basked in the sun on a nearby bench…

Kaoru: You actually act so much like an old man. You get more and more senile as the years go because of some character you force yourself to play.

Rei: Rather, I used to force myself to act young. I feel more comfortable now than I did back then. I am showing my true colours.

Of course, those who caught a glimpse of the previous me will have seen the immaturity in me, befitting of my young age at the time.

Anyhow. I apologise for interrupting, but I do believe you should keep Kaoru-kun’s worries in the back of your minds.

Humanity continues to evolve, scientific capability is growing ever closer to the abilities of a god.

Robotics, AI, VR— artificial idols will be comprised of those parts.

Then when non-human creatures rise in strength, and become stronger than humans, when monsters arise, when they become the new normal—

What value do humans have, other than being authentic beings?

Will we become pieces of art, displayed in museums for all to see, rather than something a part of your everyday life?

I do not know what the future holds, but that future is fast approaching.

We stand at a crossroads.

If we give up, we die where we stand. We must explore and search for what it means to be human.

We must demonstrate time and time again the value of being loved.

Otherwise, we can easily fall into the position our criminal was in.

A foolish, pitiful creature that can only look into the distance and envy how bright others shine.

What happens to one today may happen to another tomorrow. But I am not so pessimistic.

We are alive.

If we continue to live and grow, we have no reason to fear this lifetime.

That is the strength and beauty of being human.

Let us drive away our abhorrent past, and our anxiety-inducing nightmares alongside it. Let us step into the day with a smile on our faces.

～...♪

[ ☆ ]

Epilogue 1

Directory

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #undead climax #oogami koga #rei sakuma #adonis otogari #kaoru hakaze

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elysiansparadise · 2 years

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Hello I saw that your ask box is open so I wanted to ask, what do you think of someone who has pluto in the 10th house? I love your blog so much 💓

Hello love, thank you for loving my blog!

Pluto in the 10th house

They project superiority without trying along with immense professionalism. These natives are very ambitious, they set goals and can be very demanding not only with the people around them but also with themselves. They expect a lot from themselves and you will always see them pushing themselves to achieve more and more. Their freedom and having the power to do what they want are things they aspire to have and keep for life. They give the impression of being very mysterious, powerful and even a little intimidating. They can go a long way in any field of their interest, they will be highly respected, adored and could even easily attract people who are obsessed with the face they give to the public. They can attract envy or people who want to bring them down, since they seem to have achieved a lot regardless of their age, gender or ethnicity. Their public image is very important to them and they do not tolerate people discrediting them, their actions or stealing their ideas or work. These natives can become very influential people, since they have the power to easily convince and attract the public.

They can have tense relationships with authority figures, even being able to cause people who are in higher positions, or older, to generate a kind of obsession and envy towards them. Even being able to experience that people feel a need for competition with them. They are very cautious people when it comes to presenting themselves to other people, you will not see them talking much about their private life, their feelings and it is more likely that they know you deeply than you know them, even 25%. This placement usually tells us that the native has strong differences with one of the parents, particularly the father, who may be perceived as someone who lies, is controlling, hypocritical or has a strong temperament. These people through their public image or their work, manage to make certain people change or transform in some way. In addition to that, it is necessary to mention that they have a great sense of duty, being able to be people who are totally committed to everything that seems valuable to them.

They are not afraid to say what they think, especially if they are in the presence of an injustice or some abuse of power, they will always expose people who are cynical or liars. They are people who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe to be ethical or fair, and it is precisely that courage and willpower that attracts a lot of people's attention. They are usually seen as very attractive, sensual and mysterious, and can be constantly sexualized even from a very young age. However, just as they can attract total devotion from people, or deep [and even somewhat obsessive] love, they can attract hate of some kind, and not for a specific reason, but for things as trivial as the way they act. what they look like, how they once behaved or just because they are themselves. These people are not recognized just for magic, but because they work hard to get where they are. They know the value of themselves and their work, although it probably wasn't always like that, it is very likely that they had problems finding value in themselves, people and their comments could have had a lot to do with it. That's why as they grow older, they start to ignore what others say and reconnect with their inner power finally accepting themselves.

-> Go back to the masterlist

#pluto in the 10th house #pluto #10th house #astrology #natal chart #astro note #astro observation #birth chart #astro notes #astrology notes #astro observations

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neonseperatedau · 1 year

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Leo’s Log Entries 234 to 345

It seems you stumbled across a broken control pad. As it boosts up, the label reads ‘Property of Leo’. Most files are corrupted. You take a look at those remaining. (Cass, @somerandomdudelmao thank you so much for creating such an inspiring, wonderful and heart-breaking story. Like many others, I was deeply moved by the latest updates. I hope you don’t mind the few creative liberties I took to tell bits of the comic from Leo’s perspective.)

Log entry 234: Man, this feels weird. It’s been ages since the last time I did an entry. The previous one dates so far back that I had both of my arms still. Sweet innocent Leo with two arms, I want to slap that idiot as soon as we got time travel. Donnie told me I should make it a habit again. I guess I kept zoning out during dinner because it was sometimes difficult to process every single crazy thing that had happened within a day. So, here I am, talking to this log and letting it record me. And Dee, if you are eavesdropping, I ate our final package of froot loops, probably the last one that remained on Earth. I needed to stress-eat after you had turned me into a tangerine-sized turtle tod. I only thought it fair to be somehow compensated for that unwanted experience…

Log entry 255: Case is pacing around all night. He had returned from a mission with Donnie being seriously hurt. You would think we’ve been through stuff like this so often it doesn’t bother us anymore. Nope. Each time, I see one of my family injured, I share their pain. Not in any physical sense. More in the ‘I wish I could have done something to prevent that’ kind of hurt. I long gave up on ‘what-if’ scenarios. The present moment doesn’t give two fs about your guilt. Mikey once told me that he envies me for being so focused on the present and that he sometimes struggles to be really here with us and not be torn between the spiritual realm and the physical. I laughed like a crazy person, and I think he misunderstood me. To me, it was the other way around. I miss Dad so much and I had no means of reaching him. Kinda ironic if you ask me that his ‘least favorite’ son was the one to lose his Ninpo and because of that was forced to let him go forever. Log entry 283: I can’t believe this really happened. I always knew Casey was like a good luck charm but that he would be the one to find Raph and bring him home! Raph is back! He is really back! I haven’t realized it until that big machine picked us all up and pressed us tightly into a hug how much I had relied on him and missed his presence. It was like taking that first breath of fresh air after staying underwater for too long. Our family is whole again. Well, as whole as it can be. Log entry 284: Today’s moral of the story: Things cannot go back to how they used to be. Raph refused to take up his old position, especially with some of his programs malfunctioning and Donnie not able to repair him entirely, he told me he doesn’t want the resistance to rely on him and that I had done a great job in taking up this role as leader. I totes understand him and yet…some part of me hoped I could revert to second-in-command. Spend some more time with Case. Go on my own missions. In the end, duty calls, and there’s no easy way out of it. Log entry 294: My big brother’s return was a miracle and even so, Dee found a way to grant us another one. I don’t want to know what that grenade is made out of, and it doesn’t matter. It can REVERSE the effects of Mikey’s quick aging and that is all that counts! Seeing Mike running around, messing with his abilities, and full of energy…I’m so happy for him. Between an ageless robot and a renewed younger bro, I’m the one who’s doomed to feel like an old fart. Second chances are rare. I always regretted that Mikey had to give up so much of his life for our cause. Let’s hope Donnie can continue to produce these anti-aging bombs for a long time. Log entry 301: It’s raining with the lowest levels of sulphur dioxide in the last ten years. It’s not like it’s super safe. That hadn’t prevented Case from running around and enjoying himself within the rain simulation that Donnie had created afterward. He wrapped us all up in his shenanigans and forced us to stop what we were doing and enjoy the little things in life. That’s…not a bad thing. Log entry 303: We lost Boston. Casualties approximately 200. A ceremony for the fallen is scheduled for the day after. April had intended to inspect the Boston branch and I’m somehow glad she got delayed and hadn’t managed to reach it in time. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure, she wouldn’t have returned. She’s on her way home and I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she hears about Raph. Log entry 314: Our scouting teams record higher rates of kraangified humans and yokai. It’s commonly considered a worse fate than death and yeah sure, we had figured out a way to reverse the process. Even so, it was dangerous for everyone involved and I forbid Mikey at one point to ‘treat’ anyone further. My brother would have crumbled away like overcooked toast if he would’ve cured every kraangified being there was. The instant I realized Casey had gotten infected, I was ready to beg my brother on my knees. Everyone’s selfish in their own ways, huh? Log entry 315: Casey shows great signs of improvement. Dee switched to ‘casual’ surveillance, aka his dozens of cameras whose locations nobody knows for sure. I’m doing my best to make the boy feel less responsible for what happened. We cannot blame ourselves for these things or else we would have lost our sanity long ago. Log entry 322: Hey, Dad. I know I cannot talk to you, but I really wonder if you felt the same way whenever we called you that: Dad. Case used that word to refer to me today. Well, to be honest, he also meant Donnie and Mikey, and Raph. It was one of those stupid ‘my dad is better than yours’ competitions, which makes it even better in my personal opinion. Back when I had promised Cass to look after her son, my first thought had been that this human baby was going to be a burden and I would surely mess everything up. But look at him, look at us. I would do anything for him. Heh, you surely had something similar on your mind when you went ahead and protected us at the cost of your own life. Log entry 343: Things have been busy. With April joining our team, I can allow myself to make more ballsy plans and we sure as hell need those victories. The Kraang continually pushes us back. It’s time to return to favor. Log entry 356: Man, my twin is the smartest person on earth. How did he manage to accidentally spill some of the anti-aging serum on himself? And how can such a small creature be so angry? We all haven’t slept for over 30 hours, afraid that if we take our eyes off him, he either ends up killing someone or gets eaten and I’m not thrilled about both options. Log entry 357: Casey is a genius. He built Tiny Tello a pair of custom glasses. He seems to recognize Mikey and me. Raph is too…changed. That human boy has a heart of gold, to do something so kind for someone who shows him no gratitude whatsoever. He insists it’s payback for everything ‘Uncle Donatello’ built for him. Long story short, my twin’s living in my scarf and it’s only the third weirdest thing to ever happen to me. The way he sometimes pads me with his small hands is adorable (note to myself that I should never mention that to Dee) and it makes me nostalgic for days long gone. Log entry 359: I shouldn’t be surprised that the base can’t exist long without Donnie’s maintenance. Occasionally Mike and I liked to make fun of him for merging with the place and being a true shut-in. Jokes on us that we realized how MUCH we are dependent on him once he turned into a small vicious turtle ball. We need to find a solution fast. Log entry 361: Not sure if it was sheer luck and honestly who cares. Dee is back and we need him now more than ever. Raph sustained some grave damage that isn’t fixable. The same goes for yours truly. They can berate me on how I need to be more careful all they want, I will never regret prioritizing Casey’s life. The longer our resistance continues like this, the more I believe this isn’t about me. They could easily replace me, but everyone in my family is so damn special and irreplaceable. I’m going to hold on to them for as long as I can. Log entry 378: Mikey was such an airhead when he was a teen. What happened? Like for real? He had developed an almost uncanny ability to know when we need someone to talk to or hug or, in Dee’s case, rest. And with his mad abilities, he won’t take a ‘no’ for an answer. I think I need to tell him more often how proud I am. Log entry 379: Casey called me in the middle of a meeting, that was already suspicious. The fact that Dee has been sleeping longer than six hours? Also, unusual. We’re currently taking turns, waiting for him to wake up and explain what’s going on. I’m recording this during my shift. My brother looks smaller and frail. He sinks into his bed almost as if the mattress is about to absorb him. His health was bad when Dad died. He had grieved through overwork and constant exhaustion. I couldn’t see a reason he would fall back into this old pattern. Maybe our injuries had made things worse for him. I should take over most of his work and redistribute it for a while. He won’t like it, but I don’t like seeing him like this even more. Log entry 380: Donnie has been infected. Even he doesn’t know when or where exactly. One thing is for sure, it rendered him weak for a while now and he had refused to let us know. It’s worrying that it’s a variant we haven’t dealt with before. But it’s okay. We’re going to figure something out. We always have. Log entry 385: Mikey and I had sat down late to discuss our options. His hair had turned mostly grey again, a sign my younger brother had done everything he could. Nothing worked. Good thing, the mystic isn’t our only trump card. There’s science, too. Donnie must be close to finding a solution, he has been working non-stop. Log entry 386: I just can’t understand why he would make an excessive list of things we’re supposed to take care of instead of focusing on himself. He’s supposed to be the smart one. So, what if the means to cure himself don’t exist anymore? There must be alternatives. Something even he overlooked. For the time being, we try to let him rest as much as possible and survey him. April’s visiting other resistance groups in the hope of answers. I’ve been contacting Draxum and he assured me to let me know when he found anything. Log entry 389: Casey asked me if he could sleep at my place for the night. He’s upset because Donnie made no effort in hiding his calculations of his own death. He might not act that way, but it must bother him as much as it did Casey. Dee just never expresses his emotions the same way others do. I tried to explain this to Casey. He didn’t say anything in return and quietly sobbed against the back of my shell. Log entry 399: We’ve returned to some form of normalcy, though everyone stays at the base for longer periods to hang around Donnie. He notices and refrains from commenting. Denying makes it a bit more bearable. He’s right here and we’ll be fucking damned to let anything change that. Log entry 415: I had no other choice but to move out on a mission myself. We recently lost fights we should’ve won and there are rumors that it has to do with Donnie’s health and our absence. I blame it on my lack of sleep that I stumbled into one of the Kraang’s traps. One mistake might cost your life, that’s how it has been for the last 20 years, and I was ready to pay the price. Then from nowhere, Donnie appeared in his slabby pullover and summoned the greatest arsenal of mystic weaponry that I’ve ever seen. Casey had surely been with Dee as a crutch. Though, it appeared as if it was the other way around and the boy held on to his uncle while he pushed back the entire Kraang army. It's been…a while since Donnie had gone all out. Witnessing what he’s capable of reminded me of the time we had full access to our Ninpo and had gotten extremely cocky. Even then, my twin had been the rational voice of the team. Choosing to be flashy on special occasions and focusing on providing us with the necessary support and firepower. It had never been anything personal. This time, when rockets flew over our heads causing grand explosions, I could see it in his eyes. He was free at that moment. His mind was consumed with revenge for what the Kraang had done to him and enjoying their screams and demise without a thought wasted on efficiency or greater purpose. Fearing he would collapse from over-exerting himself I had to grab him, and we retreated. He seemed in good spirits afterward. I’m telling myself that if he’s strong enough to pull something like this off, he must be okay. He must be. Log entry 422: A week after Donnie’s all-out attack, his health worsened visibly. As he huddles through his lab to take care of business as usual, we cherish the small things. Drinking tea together. Throwing bad puns at each other. The four of us are often sitting down, reminiscing about the times before this whole mess started. Sometimes April or Casey join us. We would like to show our concern and ask Donnie how he’s feeling, if he needs anything, what we can do for him, but we don’t. Life continues on. Log entry 435: I’m tired. I haven’t slept in a few days. Can’t tell exactly how long it has been. I don’t want to miss anything. Every second is precious, even writing this feels like a waste of time. But I also can’t hover over Donnie, he wouldn’t want that. He’s already mad at me since I denied taking over some of his tasks as if he’s already gone. He’s been trying to explain a few of his inventions to me that keep our base up and running, but it’s been difficult to focus. My mind drifts off to repeat the same few sentences over and over again. Please don’t leave us. Please stay with me. Please. Don’t go.

#cass apocalyptic series #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #riseofthetmnt #future timeline au #there might be more log entries later #thank you cass for creating such a masterpiece #future leonardo #future donnie #future michelangelo #future raph #casey #future april #rottmnt apocalypse #rottmnt fic #rottmnt short story

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investmentassistant · 2 months

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Why you should stop comparing yourself to others

Comparison is a natural human tendency. From an early age, we're taught to measure our success, appearance, and achievements against those of others. However, constantly comparing ourselves to others can have detrimental effects on our mental health, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Here are some compelling reasons to break free from the cycle of comparison:

Unique paths. Each individual's journey is unique. We all come from different backgrounds, have different experiences, and possess unique talents and strengths. Comparing yourself to someone else disregards the complexity of your own path and undermines the value of your individuality.

Unrealistic standards. When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on their highlight reel—their successes, possessions, and positive attributes. This can create unrealistic standards for ourselves, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Remember, what you see on the surface may not reflect the full reality of someone else's life.

Self-esteem issue. Constant comparison can erode self-esteem. When we constantly measure ourselves against others and come up short, it reinforces negative beliefs about ourselves and diminishes our self-worth. It's essential to cultivate self-compassion and recognize our own inherent value, independent of external validation.

Distorted perception. Social media exacerbates the tendency to compare ourselves to others. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook often present a curated version of reality, where people showcase their best moments while concealing their struggles and insecurities. This curated reality can distort our perception and lead us to believe that everyone else has it better than us.

Focus on growth. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your personal growth and development. Set goals based on your own values and aspirations rather than external benchmarks. Celebrate your progress and achievements, no matter how small, and embrace the journey of self-improvement.

Gratitude and contentment. Comparing ourselves to others breeds dissatisfaction and envy. Practicing gratitude and contentment can help counteract these negative emotions. Take time to appreciate what you have and recognize the blessings in your life. Shift your focus from what you lack to what you already possess.

Foster empathy. Rather than comparing ourselves to others, we can cultivate empathy and compassion. Recognize that everyone is fighting their own battles and facing their own challenges. Instead of envying someone's success, try to understand the struggles they may have endured to achieve it.

Authentic connections. Comparison can hinder genuine connections with others. When we're preoccupied with measuring ourselves against them, it creates barriers to authentic communication and intimacy. By letting go of comparison, we can cultivate deeper connections based on mutual respect and understanding.

In conclusion, while comparison is a natural tendency, it's essential to recognize its negative impacts and strive to overcome it. Embrace your uniqueness, set realistic standards, focus on personal growth, and cultivate gratitude and empathy. By freeing yourself from the trap of comparison, you can enhance your self-esteem, foster genuine connections, and lead a more fulfilling life.

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flannelfreakk · 3 months

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ABOUT ME

MOODBOARD REQUESTS ALWAYS OPEN

Name: El but you can call me whatever you want

Age: 22

Country: US

Gender: I use she/they pronouns (you can call me whatever you want tho) and identify as a woman but sometimes don't feel female and I experience dysphoria and gender envy. AFAB

Sexuality: um very confusing but usually just say queer/no label. BUT if you wanna get specific here are some labels that fit me: queer, heteroflexible, heterosexual, demisexual with people who are AFAB, biromantic, panromantic, sapphic, androgynous/feminine presenting, fluid demigirl, stone top dom

Height: 5'5

Relationship status: technically single but my heart, body, soul and mind belong to @strawberrihart

Religion: not sure but I support all and believe in a mix of things

MBTI: ISFJ

Zodiac: taurus

DMs: always closed but asks are always opened!

DNI: anyone who is hateful, pedos, zoos, "icky" blogs, pro anamia

Favorite songs: Hunger by F+M, I Wanna Be Yours by AM, Cherry by LDR

Favorite artists: Florence + The Machine, Lana Del Rey, Arctic Monkeys

Interests: music, fashion, grunge and similar aesthetics, art, photography, dance, true crime, psychology, urban exploration

Favorite movies: Sinister, The Guilty, The Virgin Suicides, The Green Mile, Thirteen

Hobbies: reading, writing, art, listening to music, practicing my bass guitar

Other: I repost some mild nsfw posts but otherwise this is a mostly sfw blog. Minors are welcome to interact with non-sexual posts but PLEASE don't DM me; send me an ask if you're uncomfortable with me following/interacting with you and I'll stop. I want everyone to be comfortable!!

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hrodvitnon · 5 months

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SEVEN DEADLY SINS-ABRAXASVERSE VILLAINS

(Some of these fit for multiple, but I'm choosing one that ties them together.)

-Ghidorah is Pride or Wrath. They fit very well with both traits-but if I had to choose, I'd go with Wrath.

-Apex is similarly aligned with both-but they are more Prideful. They wanted power and control, to wrest the Earth from the Titans. They tampered with forces they could barely understand and built a mechanical abomination in the image of the Titan's King to serve their ends. Beyond being a malevolent corporation, they were arrogant-they believed they were in control of their creation and their world, and they paid the cost.

-The Scarred Apes would be Envy. They covet what others have, what they once had-and they are angry that things are not the way they think it should be. (The difference between greed and Envy is resentment-Greed is wanting too much of something, while Envy is wanting something of someone else's and resenting that they don't have said thing. So Envy felt like a better fit.)

-Xenilla is ironically Lust. (Not because of anything sexual (that's the one thing they seek no knowledge on), but because of its other connotations. See, in the game Persona 4, the Lust Arcana is called the "Hunger Arcana"-which in a way is a perfect description of Lust. At its core, Lust is a Hunger for something; sex, power, blood, war, knowledge... An all-encpompassing, ever-consuming Hunger, a Need, for the thing you desire. Ergo, Xenilla is Lust because of its Need to gain Knowledge, its desire to Know, to satiate both its Hunger and its own desires.)

Gigan is Gluttony. He enjoys pain and destruction. He indulges in the pained screams and the horror he leaves in his wake, and a sorts of awful experiments. His followers indulge in pain and agony all sorts of horrible sensations for the sake of feeling them. (Gluttony is, fundamentally, Overindulgence. Not just of food, but anything. So I thought Gigan would be an interesting, yet still fitting, choice for this one.)

So those are my choices. I don't know who I should connect to Greed and Sloth. (Apex works for greed, but I thought Pride worked better for them since they keep tampering with forces beyond their understanding. What are your thoughts?

---

Ooh, good thoughts! Pride is perfect for Apex what with the sheer hubris they displayed... and promptly getting shot in the hubris for their trouble. Hm, Sloth and Greed, let's see...

Greed feels appropriate for the Zmeyevich, especially the ones devoted to Ghidorah. Time for another unexpected lore dump!

Once they reach a certain age, let's say an average Zmeyevich begins to really want things, whether it's money or sex, and those who are passably human enough might use their charms to get what they want. A Zmeyevich might start a cult, taking advantage of the newfound religious fervor many people find themselves wrapped up in, developing a reputation for speaking to Titans which is not entirely untrue, as Zmeyevich inherit Ghidorah's telepathy to some extent (depending on how many are in one area, they can mentally transmit brief words or feelings or entire sentences). Assisting in the Zmeyevich's growing cult is a pheromone they can release that causes a swell of dopamine in their followers, making the Zmeyevich more attractive. Even a clearly inhuman Zmeyevich can be as attractive as Jason Momoa or Brad Pitt using that pheromone.

They can want followers, they can want money (easily obtained by gullible people with plenty of cash), they can want wives or husbands for the purpose of increasing the Zmeyevich numbers, which benefits Ghidorah's long-term plan for its half-human children. (Depending on the individual, this greed for spouses can overlap with sexual lust; Ghidorah wants lots of grandkids, so naturally its sons and daughters can be insatiable.) Some Zmeyevich, particularly those who aren't as inclined towards Ghidorah, still feel a greed for something like shiny trinkets or knowledge, resulting in collections like a dragon's treasure hoard, or they can be greedy for meaningful relationships. After all, Zmeyevich are half human and humans are a social species, so it's only natural that even Ghidorah's children want to have personal connections. Whether for benevolent or malevolent reasons depends on the individual.

Not entirely sure who Sloth would be...

#submission #abraxasverse

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wellwornwornwell · 10 months

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Something to share.

Don’t worry. This isn’t a suicide note or, worse yet, the announcement of some new brand I’m launching. I would never burden you good people with either of those catastrophes.

I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about how our experiences mean little without the context of others. This extends far beyond clothes and into the realms of performativism, fitness, elitism, whatever. The quixotic pursuit of validation. Of confidence. And finally, of comfort. All powerful concepts that amount to little without the confirmation of others.

We are constantly in a state of sharing. Some of us share our lives with strangers on social media: Platforms engineered to transfuse healthy emotional capital into a host they are slowly killing. Others spin narratives – tapestries of experiences, reviews, thoughts, and emotions – where delicate wefts of unblemished silk met a warp of greasy baby shit.

Sharing is an art: Oversharing is desperate and contrived; under-sharing is suspicious. We navigate the world finding as many people as possible to let into our lives, and insist on the constant, acute torture – torture of ourselves and others – of valuing their participation. Their membership to our plight.

And what of those who we choose to share the most with? I wonder how much of love is a closed-market exchange of experiential validation – responses to past, individual experiences, as well as the valuation of new, shared ones. How much of love is an aspirational attempt to make someone’s life better? Or are we always in this to boast?

Is the instinct to share vulnerability or performance? Regardless, sharing a piece of ourselves is the commerce of modern culture.

Bringing the conversation from low brow to pubic, we can think about how sharing our expertise or criticisms of clothes betrays both a need for status (“I can afford all this cool shit”) as well as a democratic impulse to bring others along for the ride.

We all pledged that we would “dress for ourselves.” We assured ourselves that this was more than a hobby; it is a lifestyle. But in reality, the gratification is never absolute. Praise, envy, even disdain, fuel our impulse to dress better. To live better. And there would simply be no measure for any of it without the reaction of others, meticulously weighing what you’ve chosen to share. Seeing if it floats or sinks.

I hope that my need to share is helpful. That the pretty pictures and snarky rejoinders are enjoyed. That you burn at least as many calories thinking as you do rolling your eyes. And yet, ultimately, I have to admit to myself that the vulnerable act of sharing will never have a fully-realized valuation. You never know what people actually find helpful; find entertaining.

But I firmly believe this unveiling of the soul (of the sole?) is essential. Or, at minimum, vastly superior to the elitist, shrouded gatekeeping that has marked so much of our favorite pastime for so long. We are in a Golden Age of information and an unprecedented moment for exposure. Enjoy it together. Learn together. And never take for granted how your experiences shape not just you, but those who have joined for the ride.

#sharing #me

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derangedrhythms · 2 years

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What's the correct way to be (to simply exist) in a world that seems to be staring down the barrel of many existential crises at the same time? Under these circumstances, is art self-indulgent?

I'm no authority on sane living ⁠— as Margaret Atwood once said ⁠—but I would argue that Audre Lorde was right when she wrote "poetry is not a luxury. It is a vital necessity of our existence." Particularly in difficult times such as these. Art is important not only on a personal basis:

So while our art cannot, as we wish it could, save us from wars, privation, envy, greed, old age, or death, it can revitalize us amidst it all.

Ray Bradbury, from 'Zen in the Art of Writing'

but also on much a wider scale:

I believe that all great art holds the power to dissolve things: time, distance, difference, injustice, alienation, despair. I believe that all great art holds the power to mend things: join, comfort, inspire hope in fellowship, reconcile us to our selves.

Art is good for my soul precisely because it reminds me that we have souls in the first place.

We stand before a work of art and our spirit is lifted by it: amazing that someone is like us! We stand before a work of art and our spirit resists: amazing that someone is different!

Tilda Swinton

These are important concepts when we find ourselves in times of war, pandemics, poverty, fascism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, inequality, corrupt governments etc.

Here are some more quotations about the significance of art and some on how it's helped others to cope on a personal level and even to extend their lives:

"Art teaches nothing, except the significance of life."

⁠— Henry Miller, The Wisdom of the Heart; from 'Reflections on Writing'

"Any powerful work of art invades our being and changes it forever. The British critic George Steiner claims that art, like certain kinds of religious and metaphysical experience, is the most ‘“ingressive”, transformative summons available to human experiencing’. It is an intrusive, invasive indiscretion that ‘queries the last privacies of our existence’; an Annunciation that ‘breaks into the small house of our cautionary being’, so that ‘it is no longer habitable in quite the same way as it was before’. It is a transcendent encounter that tells us, in effect: ‘change your life’."

⁠— Karen Armstrong, from ‘A Short History of Myth’

"One of the great functions of art is to help us imagine what it is like to be not ourselves, what it is like to be someone or something else, what it is like to live in another skin, what it is like to live in another body, and in that sense to surpass ourselves, to go out beyond ourselves."

⁠— Adrienne Rich

"Sometimes I say to myself: Your fate is unique, think the others fortunate—none has been tormented as you have. Then I read some poet of the ancient times and it is as though I were looking into my own heart."

⁠— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, from ‘The Sorrows of Young Werther’ tr. David Constantine

"That’s why I read poetry. I read poetry to stay alive. That’s why I went to poetry in the first place, that’s why I stay with it, that’s why I’ll never leave it."

⁠— Marie Howe

"Poetry led me by the hand out of madness."

"Poetry has saved my life and I respect it beyond both or any of us."

"I am going to lose myself — or else, the chance is that poetry will save me."

"After nothing but pain and fear and the problems of guilt, your book burst over me and made me want to live . . ."

⁠— Anne Sexton, from ‘Anne Sexton: A Biography’ by Diane Wood Middlebrook and ‘A Self-Portrait in Letters’ ⁠

#asks #on art #long post

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grishaverse-chaos · 4 months

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I also don't consider the anti-grisha sentiments to be something that would just go away. It in natural for humans to fear (and envy and resent) this more powerful species. Grisha are a group of people and just like humans, some of them will do bad things- on impulse, by accident, due to malicious intentions etc and their bad things are capable of being entire tragedies for humans with tremendous loss to life and property. A few Grisha would not will away this very natural, very human fear. Another very human thing is curiousity, expansion of science and animal experimentation. Of course they are doing the same to Grisha, to get to the root of their power, understand it, to control them, maybe even get a way yo manufacture that power for themselves. Not to mention entire religions are built on grisha hate and as someone who lives in a community with religions at war every other day despite the numeroussss changes being brought and people of 2 different religions aren't even different the way grisha are from humans. This will never just completely go away let away so soon. Even with grisha unrelated tragedies, they will be blamed. Fire burned down the village? Must be an inferni etc. I don't think any amount of change will be ever to remove human nature from humans. So fear works. But i do think it works Alongside other things. Ensure your safety with fear but well continue helping them and proving how useful grisha are. But to completely rely on their gratitude and not use fear at all is stupid and I don't think would work.

yeah, there's a lot of different facets to anti-grisha sentiment, which I think we can split into about four parts

the fear of grisha

the resentment of their apparent special treatment

religious prejudice

scientific curiosity

call me an optimist, but I actually think that it would be possible to change these attitudes

idk if you've read the kos duology anon (spoilers ahead of you haven't!!) but I find the solutions presented there to be really compelling and realistic

the way nina and the rest of the hringsa deal with fjerdan prejudice is soooo clever imo - by spreading the belief that grisha are blessed by djel, they allow people to consider that their religious beliefs don't necessarily exclude grisha (I've previously compared this to the belief held by progressive xtians that god created gay people and therefore queerness is acceptable from an xtian perspective, which I think is a reasonably accurate analogy)

the treaty made between ravka and shu han is also very clever, bc as far as I can tell, shu han isn't actually particularly anti-grisha - they don't hold the same fear or resentment that we see in ravka, it's just the government's wish to experiment. it's definitely an exploitative way of treating grisha, but I believe that in the industrial period the grishaverse seems to be entering, more ethical ways of experimenting with grisha power would become available. due to the nature of industrialization they'd also be more effective and efficient, so even from a purely utilitarian perspective, I can see the harm done to grisha being reduced considerably in the few decades following canon

as for the fear and resentment, I think integration is the only way to tackle this issue. by integrating grisha into ravkan society as a whole (instead of using the little palace and second army to keep them separate) otkazat'sya would see that grisha are human like them

ofc this would need to be a gradual process (we see this in the kos duology - the second army still exists as a separate entity, but there are also integrated military units which have both grisha and otkazat'sya soldiers) but it's necessary nonetheless imo

and lastly, yes human nature is to look for something to blame when things go wrong, BUT the grishaverse is entering a more industrial age, and I believe that the dawn of scientific thought would reduce the superstition surrounding grisha!

#anyway sorry i kind of went off on a huge tangent here but tldr: i think that it IS possible to make the world a better place for grisha #the darkling didn't go about it in the right way but it IS possible imo #grishaverse #mayhem.txt #answered

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rainbowsky · 1 year

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One thing I always envy about GGDD is that they have understanding parents. Not one like force their kid to consult therapist to cure your abnormal behaviour.

Oh, ANON!!! I hope this doesn't mean you've been sent to conversion therapy!! 💔😢😡

For those who don't know what conversion therapy is, it's the (thankfully now banned in Canada) hateful (and entirely discredited) practice of trying to 'cure' people of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity through psychological torture, religious indoctrination and spiritual, emotional and physical abuse.

If you or anyone you know is dealing with this, please be aware that there are resources available to help/support you no matter where you are in the world.

Truth Wins Out educates the world on the harm caused by destructive “ex-gay” conversion programs, while fighting to eliminate anti-LGBTQ prejudice and discrimination. They believe that genuine freedom and contentment derive from authenticity and living one’s truth.

CTSurvivors is comprised of conversion therapy survivors who have joined together for healing and fellowship. Their mission is to promote safe spaces for all conversion therapy survivors by providing forums for open and vulnerable sharing.

Conversion Therapy Dropout Network is an organization for conversion therapy survivors that came together to provide support for other "dropouts" to cope with and heal from their trauma. CTDN's main programs include Survivor Sunday, a virtual monthly meetup group for survivors, as well as in person meetups in different regions. CTDN also provides education resources and offers presentations on conversion therapy and its harms tailored for LGBTQ+ organizations, mental health providers, as well as families.

TrevorSpace is an affirming, online community for LGBTQ young people between the ages of 13-24 years old, run by the Trevor Project. With over 400,000 members across the globe, you can explore your identity, get advice, find support, and make friends in a moderated community intentionally designed for LGBTQ youth.

Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) has local chapters which may be able to connect with parents, youth, and adults who have been impacted by conversion efforts. If you aren't in the US there may be a PFLAG in your area.

I hope that anyone dealing with such issues will please reach out to someone for help and support. The LGBTQ community have become experts at supporting and helping each other, and being a new/extended family to each other. There's nothing quite like the support of peers who have gone through some of the similar experiences we've had.

And of course I'm here to support, accept and affirm you for who you are. Stay strong. ❤️🏳️‍🌈🫂

youtube

#lgbtpride #personal #ask

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dolloshub · 2 years

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Dumbing Down: What’s the appeal? -Echo-

Maybe it is the bimbo and not the genius that we should envy..if it is happiness we seek

There is a very real appeal to dumbing down that gets expressed throughout the erotic hypno community. Most often it manifests in bimbofication, dollification, dronification etc.

I believe for many, including myself, and the rest of Doll OS, there is good reasons behind the draw. This post will explore the costs of being “gifted”, of high intelligence, and the social aspects/expectations that come along with these labels.

I believe we live in a society that openly fetishizes high intellect, the aspiration, and the expectation that if you happen to be “gifted” there is a moral obligation to fulfill your greatest intellectual potential, and to do otherwise is to turn your back on what is owed by you, to society.

It is taboo in this day and age to “waste” intelligence, to admit that just because you have the capacity doesn’t mean you want it to shape your life, or perhaps define your life.

This doll’s brain falls into that category, of 140+ IQ. I can fully understand the draws of dumbing down, and the costs of “being smart”. These costs are both mental and physical. For this doll, it’s been a tug of war against biology and lifelong disability- a stroke in utero, resulting in cerebral palsy, later on drug resistant epilepsy, and a half dozen genetic conditions that ultimately presented with a body that fluctuates between being the smartest person in the company, to being bedridden back and forth, a never ending cycle.

There is the concept in nlp of a double bind, or dual expectations, where one is forced to choose, without ever being giving the choice at all, for choice was always an illusion. This is more or less what eventually led us to walk down this road. We were forced to choose between health and career, and lost both, along with nearly our life a few years ago. Now with a genetic clock ticking time off, it is expected we won’t live much past four years…after all we should be dead right now many times over, and the top minds in multiple fields cannot explain how we exist, are functional. Every month we hear “yeah that shouldn’t be medically or scientifically possible…and wasn’t until you walked into the office”

I suspect many of those interesting in dumbing down have experienced deep psychic pain, possibly emotionally and psychological issues, and yes, even physical issues. I’m here to say that, according to some scientific literature, your not crazy or mentally I’ll because of these experiences, even if unable to be fully unexplained at this moment in history. The pain and cost of “being gifted” is real. Perhaps it’s time we acknowledged this, and stopping envying Genius. And perhaps we should not be so quick to dismiss or judge those who want to dumb down, even our own community.

For some of us, intelligence can be more harmful to our well being than helpful. I imagine most find a balance, but from personal experience intelligence is not something you can simply “stop” due to the nature of the mind, how the brain is wired. It can be difficult to use it only as a tool, because from a neurological standpoint, it’s our default mode.

We often describe intelligence and intellectual pursuits as a drug we are addicted to. There is a certain high one gets from learning something new, making disparate connections, and the accomplishment of seeing the world, this puzzle called reality in more complex detail and nuance. And yet with that comes all the costs of doing so. If you’re reading this and are interested in dumbing down for dumbing down sake, you likely have felt this on some level, even if the words, the terms have escaped you.

For you, and everyone else that stumble across this blog I want to leave you with some resources to deep dive into, if you so desire. C’mon you know your curious!

-Doll- Echo

#dumbing down #brain smooth #dollification #mind conditioning #identity #hypnosub #brainwashed #psychology #dark academia

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 6 months

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tw self harm eating disorder suicide ? mention and mostly mental health issues

My childhood was fucked up. in many many ways, yet i can never tell if it was traumatic...

mental health issues started when i was 7-8.

had psychotic symptoms (believing people could read my mind or were spying on me, severe paranoia when i was outside, believing people were going to do bad things to me and heard footsteps behind me constantly) along w disocciation to the point i saw myself in third person, almost throw myself out of a window in a second floor because i thought i was in a dream and i needed to wake up.

i never felt real, it never felt like me in the mirror, or if my parents were actually my parents, i was so disconnected.

i started cutting when i was 10, had an eating disorder between the ages of 10-12, friends would also cut, we had weekly exams/revisions? where we saw eachothers arms and to see if we had cut or not.

we would comfort eachother, we would try and ''help'' eachother (taking out sharpeners/sharp things out of our pencil cases) while we were only 11-12-13

i never felt safe

i never played with kids everyday, i never had fun everyday, i was in house, locked, because of severe social phobia.

had depression, along with tourette's which my mom was deeply ignorant about and would yell and scould me, dad was absent for some of the years, he's good now, mom too, we have a good relationship,

yet i've always felt like grieving, for mourning a childhood, because i feel like i never had one, there were things i never did like playing w friends outside school, i visited one of my friend's house, one time, andd felt awful so i had to leave, or having a pajama party, at this age i still cry sometimes and i just want to give my younger me a hug, a kiss on the forehead and tell her everything eventually will be okay, even if it now isn't.

i just, wish i were happy, i see a happy kid and i'm like, idk, why couldn't i be like that? why couldn't i be healthy? i spent my childhood in hospitals, clinics, etc etc, for many many reasons, physical and mental issues.

does this counts as trauma?

thank you.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about everything you've been through and please know that you're not alone. These experiences absolutely can count as trauma. You've been through a multitude of traumatic things such as eating disorders, self harm, psychotic symptoms, depression, and more. It's understandable to envy others' happiness considering the context of your experiences. In many ways you've missed out on your childhood and it's okay to mourn that.

It's good that you can somewhat envision your child self and how you would treat them, because healing the child self can be an essential step forward. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional could best help you process your trauma and work with you along your healing journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sh #tw self harm #tw sui

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