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#(like come on dude thats the mother of your kid and ill just say it: ted would never)
mrgaretcarter · 11 months
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Sassy was The realest character on ted lasso
wanted to fuck ted on sight (and did)
hated rupert until the end (correct)
raised a great kid (nora is so cool)
did not wanna date ted (smart, never over his ex)
insulted rupert at every opportunity (dream)
loves rebecca (same)
forgave rebecca no questions asked (true friend)
loves keeley (same)
had a bad feeling just before rebecca met boatman (visionary)
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Thanksgiving with Chris and Co. For the first time (choose your own Chris)
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Warnings none its fluff shes nervous.I dont specifically mention names of his family members cause you can choose your own Chris I think most Hollywood Chris’ have sisters, but is just say kids and sisters but its just her meeting “his” family for the first time. I just used my favorite Chris ‘ photo
COMMENTS appreciated!! So are Rebologs . No permission to translate republish or print
My family isn't one for Thanksgiving.
So once Chris heard that he, very quickly invited me to celebrate with him and by invited I mean he was slightly pushy and by slightly pushy I mean he insisted I go and before I knew it there was a plane ticket in my inbox and me without a viable excuse . Chris and his stupid picking me up in a private yet so I can't claim to many people and covid exposure. Damn that man for knowing me so well.
When he saw me he had this sweet but smug smile with his hands out read or a hug. I put my grumbles pouty face on that I could bitin the inside of my mouth so I wouldn't break it as we both often break into smiles seeing eachother.
I passed him but he had brought me into a hug anyway.
"Hey baby" he wispered even though it was the two of us and I know there's a steward or two somewhere but they weren't around.
"Aww why so grumpy? Someone needs a kiss."
I roll my eyes. And somehow my grumpy pout had disappeared but I put it back on.
"Really?" He deadpanned.
"I'm just nervous"
"They're gunna love you."
"Chris i bet you say that to every girl you dated."
"Whats your point thats my job as a boyfriend to be reassuring."
"Great thankks."
"No I mean it though. You're sweet you eat more than a carrots so you've got my moms heart right there. You're great with kids. You can drink my weight in vidka,"
I giggled if only he knew half my shots in bars were water a little deal I work out with the bartenders when Chris and I first started dating I was worried I couldn't keep up with him.
"Yea but I'm better with kids I'd rather color then I dont know people my own age always hate me."
"I dont hate you."
"You're like 5 years older. Doesn't count."
"Sweetie if i didn't think everyone would get along I wouldn't have introduced you during Thanksgiving ok? " he stroaks my face as he helps me buckle in.
"Ok."
He gives me nose a small kiss which I can't help but smile and giggle.
After a nap a few kisses and a bad movie called "before we go" idk if you've heard of it "Ugh love sick dude no one looks that handsome must be prosthetics." I complained with a smile. I got a kiss in return "so you agree "
We get there and then we're getting out if the car to the front door i breathed in
"Ok I can't do this I this is a bad Idea ill just ill feel more comfortable at your house seriously I'm used to spending Thanksgiving like its just a Sunday and"
"Hi come on in" his mothers bright voice greets us and me by name.
I'm a bit shocked but Chris looked amused,
"Come in come in. Christopher take her coat. Ylu can wash your hands in the sink in the kitchen or the bathroom."
I look at Chris.
"I may have told them a bit about you."
Oh god what else did he say?
"Its a good idea honey. " she says.n
I wash my hands and try to calm myself and I walk into Chris when I open the door.
"You ok?"
"Yea just nervous. Really nervous."
"Come on," he offers his hand. "Dont be mad."
Oh god I wanted to throw up
"Oh god."
"No I just said you were nervous."
But they were really nice his they even asked if they could give me a hug. The kids ran towards Chris and then introduced me with someone asking Chris if I was a princess cause I was really pretty. I only knew that because Chris said
"You're are so right she is a princess and not just because she is pretty. But she is pretty isn’t she.”
Damn that man. I couldn’t help but smile. Evil. he’s evil.
The kids were tugging for us to color something I was perfectly comfortable with. To be honest it seemed like me and Chris were the ones acting like toddlers and stealing each others crayons.
One if his sisters brought over some snacks for the kids.
"You know you don't have to color right?"
"Its ok. I like it and I get to spend time with Chris and Chris gets to spend time with them and frankly kids are less intimidating."
I really need to shut up.
"Not that you're intimidating or your familt is just i just need to shut up."
"Its ok" his sister a studied me.
Not too long after an argument came about when two of the kids wanted the same color and then Chris had taken it to use to settle it which made it worse.
"Can you two share?" I asked calmly
They both said yes but both wanted it right now.
How about we split the crayon in half and you both can use it now?
They both thought for a moment and agreed. I easily split in half and sharpened both sides. Both kids were happy.
Change in P.O.V. 3rd person
Chris had been watching her in awe able to settle an argument that has left the two cousins arguing and in tears before, with a simple flick of the wrist. God he wanted to kiss her. He slid her half on his lap and kissed her on her cheek as the kids ewwwd Chris stuck his tongue out.
"Chris" she slapped his chest.
She had no idea his family had been watching until later on no other girlfriend of his was this well with kids or this calm with them. Or eatting cookies.
"Lets go outside hm" he wislered in her ear.
"K"
"Behave you two"
"You too Uncle Chris." One of the boys fired off. "I think you have an admirer" Chris said as they were walking to go out to the backyard.
"Well he has to get in line." She laughed.
When they got outside he pulled her into him surprisingly quick.
"That was so sexy" he gave her a a sweet but almost needy kiss.
"Chris I solved an argument between two kids."
"Yea but"
"While you made things worse." He rolled his eyes.
"You doing ok though?"
"Yea." She smiled and Chris' hart should be pounding from thr love he felt because she always took his breath away but it was so at ease with her. They were outside kissing for a little while and giggling like teenagers until they were interrupted.
One of the boys, he one who was obvious about his crush.
"Grandma say dinner is ready."
Chris sighed in disappoint.
"Ok"i rolled my eyes at my big baby of a boyfriend.
Chris tried to lead me inside but was stopped by the boy
"Ladies first."
"Why thank you young man. Nice to know someone in this family has manners." She winks at Chris.
After she and Chris wash up which ends up in some water flicks and giggles, he is playful anyway but had done everything at every moment to make sure she was relaxed and calm plus that smile of her was his favorite in the world second only to her giggle and slight snore as she slept.
They went to the table, while she took a seat the little boy sneaked under Chris arm and sat down.
"Well excuse me where did you come from."
"My mommy." Everyone laughed.
"And where am I supposed to sit young man?"
"Theres a spot at the kids table."
Which gave way to more laughter.
"Ookay you" Chris easily picks him up and put him down at the kids table as his girlfriend says,
"Nice to know I have options if me and Chris don't work out."
"Sweetheart you are not getting rid of me that easily." Chris said as he sat down.
"Oh ye of little faith."
There was easy laughter which set the scene for a an easy comfortable dinner.
At one point Chris mother asked for his help getting more rolls out from the oven.
"I love her Ma." He said the minute he stepped through the kitchen door.
"I know I've said I love girls before but its slightly different with her."
"I personally love how she eats like a normal person honey."
Chris chuckles "I told her you'd think that."
"But I love how happy she makes you. Your eyes are brighter. Then they have been in a long time."
"I need some help picking out rings." He said it like it was the weather but his stomach was churning.
"Well I'm sure one of your sisters can occupy her one day so the rest of us can go "
"Thanks Ma."
"I should be thanking her you seem happier and healthier than I can remember. But don't wait to long you've got some competion."
His mother moves the door slightly to point to the table and the little boy who took his chair.
He goes in the other room shaking his head "I am not even gone for 5 minutes and you're moving on."
"I did nothing he sat here."
"Young man don't make me wrestle."
"Please uncle Chris we both know I can take you." In a as-a-matter-of-fact tone. Chris had always let his neices and nephews win.
"I hate to break it to you buddy but she likes to kiss."
"Ew."
"Christopher" hwr face went bright red.
"Honey it's just the truth."
Chris clears his throat.
"Do I have to move you again?"
The little boy rolls his eyes "ill be back darling." And jumped down to the kids table.
"Oy" she said dropping her head Chris takes his pointer and moves her head up to give her a kiss.
"I am only staking my claim maiking sur when knows you are mine "
"Staking your claim? Yours hu? I don't see a ring on this finger Christopher."
She laugh little did she know what Chris was planning.
After dinner and desert they dtay the night as it was late and the roads a bit slick.
It was a snug fit in his single bed which Chris was so happy about. He loved holding onto her as she slept.
"You enjoy yourself?"
"Yea it wasnt as scary as I thought."
"You're family is really nice."
"They think you're sweet. And nice and beautiful and that I am lucky to have found you."
There was a knock in the door. It was late "who is it?"
It was that little nephew of chris'
"I think its for yiu" he teased.
The little boy handed over a picture he drew of her an adorable portrait
"This is so beautiful thank you."
"Let me know if he gets mean or grumpy."
"I will. Now go to sleep."
"Ok" he cherps.m.
She closes the door.
"Jeezy I went from favorite uncle to public enemy number 1."
She closed the door
"He is too cute."
"I think I'm going to have to have a talk with him."
"Just dont give him nightmares ok baby."
"Never." But he was going to make sure he knew who was your number 1 and two. Him and dodger hopefully in that order.
"So what do you want to watch. "
"Anything"
"Penu-"
"No"
"You said anything." He puts it on
"Besides," he gives her a kiss "I think you-" he kisses her before he finishes the sentance and is partcillay forgotten until they get too tired to kiss.
"I love you" she said nuzzling thier noses.
"I love you too" he leanes up to kiss her forehead then her nose then her lips.
"Don't start that again."
She can feel him smile against her lips.
"I dont know what you mean?"
"Hmhm. Promise you won't let me fall of the bed?"
He gripped on her hip a little more as well as the clothing underneath his hanth."
"Don't worry ill never let you go. I love you too much."
The two of them slept very peice fully next to eachother him holding her and thier smiling lips close enough that once in a while one gave the other a kiss in thier sleep .
Ahe had no idea that next year this time she'd be Mrs. Evans as Chris didnt want to wait too long and very thankful her mother-in-law would insist on hosting. But right now they just slept so peaceful in eachothers arms even his siblings who came into wake them for breakfast couldn't help but aww and then they kinda all gathered.. But, that didn't stop them from taking a few pictures- no one could deny the two of them were so in love.
@nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja @hawkeyes-queen
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julie-thefatones · 3 years
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THERES NO ONE LIKE YOU || BILLY HARGROVE X READER||
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A/N : I just wanted to thank @i-thought-i-knew-what-love-was​ for helping me with the idea of this story for I was having a block lol!!! Also im sorry if i didnt catch all the typos or mistakes, i tried my best lol! anyway i hope you guys like it :)
WORD COUNT: 5290
WARNINGS: 16+ (Kissing, Rude Language)
It was Summer 1985, it was unbelievably hot in Hawkins, IN this time of year.. but this year was different, it was hotter than any summer before that I could remember, so that only meant one thing.......Everybody and I do mean everybody was at the public pool. It was the only public pool in town and no on really thought or maybe they just didn't bother to get a pool of their own.
As I made my way to the pool just like every other day this summer, I felt different. I wasn't sure if it was because I did my hair different than usual, Instead of my usual half up half down action, I decided to do it to the side and crimped, it made me feel like I was in Teen Beat under the 'Your New Summer Doo' Section.... Or maybe it was my new swim suit that was all the rage this year with the coolest Neon Yellow and Hot Pink color block, sure it made me feel somewhat like a glass of strawberry lemonade but if i'm gonna be a glass of strawberry lemonade i'm gonna be the hottest glass of strawberry lemonade there is.
Well whatever, Im not going to let this strange feeling ruin my day at the pool, no way, nothing is going to ruin this day unless its an overly packed swimming pool with no room to breath...... as I walked through the gates of the public pool, I looked around, took a deep breath, and sighed "Ruined" I whispered to my self while closing my eyes. I walked over to my usual pool chair dodging kids left and right as i made my way, blocking out the parents yelling across the way for 'TOMMY STOP PUSHING YOUR BROTHER UNDERWATER!' I mean you think Tommy would know by now that when he tries to drown his younger brother, he's going to get yelled at. Taking deep breaths the whole way to my chair trying not to let anyone get to me, I laid my towel down and took my seat. I laid there for maybe 10 minutes before i heard Mrs. Fowl yelling once more "TOMMY STO-" but this time she was cut off *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! STOP DROWNING YOUR TWARP OF A BROTHER BEFORE I DROWN YOU! YOU KNOW THE RULES! YOU LITTLE DOUCHE" I heard a male voice call across the pool, I tilted my sunglasses down to see what was going down, first I saw Mrs. Fowl rolling her eyes at what the mysterious male just yelled, I scanned over to discover who this mysterious male was... He made his way down the side of the pool greeting a group of middle aged women who gawked at him. He was slowly getting closer to the Life Guard tower and thats when I realized who it was that was calling orders and greeting people across the pool...... It was Billy Hargrove, the new, but well known bad boy of Hawkins High School. Girls went Ga Ga over him, he was hot sure but I never really understood why these girls threw themselves at him, he was just a guy, I mean not to mention he was a major douche, didn't show respect to anyone he talked too, also I couldn't stand how loud his freaking car is!! like dude, not necessary, especially not necessary when its 3:00 in the morning!! did i mention he lived down the street from me. I was deep in thought, not realizing i was still staring at Billy, but now he was sitting at the top of the Life Guard tower, I didn't realize i was staring until he stared back at me and winked "Oh my gosh" I whispered to my self in embarrassment, I rolled over pushing my sunglasses back up feeling completely mortified, Maybe he would forget about it... I mean he has girls staring at him all the time.
I laid there for about 2 hours, forgetting about my slight interaction with Billy across the pool. I didn't feel bothered the last 2 hours until i felt a large presence blocking my sun, with out opening my eyes for not wanting to get out of my zen "Hey! Sasquatch, who ever you are, your mama wasn't a glass maker, so if you would kindly move out of my sun I would deeply appreciate it, thanks" I heard a cocky chuckle above me, as much i didn't want to, I opened my eyes, and there he was right above me... Billy "Ya know, its not polite to call people Sasquatch... and for your information my mom could be a glass maker... so you making assumptions .. well thats just plain rude" He said, licking his lips before continuing "But, i'm a very forgiving person so i guess ill let it pass" He said with a big cocky smile, I couldn't help but feel flustered, even though he was being so overly confident and cocky... he just had this charm about him ... but i wouldn't let him know that, I rolled my eyes in response and kept a straight expression laying still "Oh, Hey Billy.... I didn't know you worked here" I said with as little emotion as I could express "Now, I don't think that is true Y/N, I saw you checking me out earlier" He said with the same cocky but teasing tone, I scoffed "Oh please Hargrove, you wish i was checking you out" I felt him shift behind me before he answered "Ya know, usually when someone is just staring at another .. it means your checking them out" After hearing his words I tilted my sunglasses down to look at him "You flatter yourself sir" I said with a teasing smile, he scoffed and looked off and then back to me "hmmm alright Y/L/N, well my mistake" I rolled my eyes once more and pushed my glasses back up "Alright, you've blocked my sun for long enough, now move along Sasquatch" I said, back to no emotion, He chuckled "Yes Ma'am, I would hate to deprive you of your sun" He winked before walking away. I couldn't help but stare after him as he walked away..... I quickly looked away, realizing what i was doing ... What was I doing... I don't like Billy.
The next day rolled around, and I was feeling slightly more excited then usual to get ready to go to the pool. I know what you're thinking... NOO it had nothing to do with Billy... I just was excited to cool off in the water...... and lay in the sun again.... and maaaybe it had something to do with Billy, but its nothing big... I just like to give him a hard time, that is all... that. is. all.
I walked into the pool area, same as yesterday, but today I wore my red swimsuit that had little frills on the straps with a red Scrunchy to match. I laid my towel down, again like yesterday and just like clockwork I heard the same male voice as yesterday "TOMMY! DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY! NOW STOP DROWNING YOUR BROTHER SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS TERRIBLY SHRILL VOICE YELL AT YOU TO STOP! IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST PART OF MY SHIFT!" I looked behind me to see Billy finish walking to his place at the Life Guard tower, I couldn't help but chuckle at Mrs. Fowl's face, mouth wide open in offense to what Billy said.
The afternoon flew by and Billy paid absolutely no mind to me, he just say on his tower and every now and then yelled at Tommy.... But other than that.. nothing. I Hate to say i was slightly disappointed, yesterdays banter was not only fun but the most entertainment i have had this summer, all my friends were away for the summer leaving me alone ... hence the coming to the pool by my self everyday. The past week went by the exact same way, I would show up to the pool looking the cutest i can look interchanging the 3 swimsuits i own, and the 3 different hairstyles i knew how to do. But nothing, he would yell at Tommy, sit and do nothing... except when he would flirt with bimbo mcBarbie or wanna be Farrah Fawcett, it made me have a pit in my stomach... not that i was jealous... absolutely not, I was just bored.
The next day, I showed up, the same way as I had been for the past week.. except today i had no expectations except to mock the plastic Phoebe Cates wanna be that would flirt with Billy endlessly today. Today I wore my red swimsuit once again, with the same matching scrunchy... I sat and prepared to be disappointed again. I sat for about 20 mins, and just like a week before.... someone was blocking my sun, I couldn't help but grow a small smile on my face, I tilted my sunglasses and looked right at mr. Billy Hargrove with his cocky smile in front of me "You're blocking my sun Sasquatch" I said with a teasing tone "Oh my apologies ma'am" he said right before walking away. Really that was it .... no banter nothing.... I sighed aloud before sinking into my chair, what was gonna do .... and as I heard Mrs. Fowl and Billy yell at Tommy, thats when it came to me.
I approached the edge of the swimming pool, took a deep breath, was i really gonna do this... just to get Billy's attention? I rolled my eyes at myself, before stepping into the pool. I carefully walked closer and closer to the middle of the pool, looking around at all the kids around me, they looked like they were having so much fun. I started to rethink my plan, I didn't want to scare any of these kids just to get a stupid guys attention... a guy i don't even like! 'this is so stupid' i thought to my self before starting my way out of the pool, but thats when i heard the most annoying high pitched laugh coming from the Life Guard tower, and thats when I saw the Bimbo Phoebe Cates wanna be standing beneath Billy at the tower, and with out thinking I went for it. I started flailing and putting my own head under water to mimic drowning "HELP! HELP!" I screamed each time i came up for breath "HELP! I NEED HELP" I continued to scream, Thats when Billy just casually climbed down from his tower like nothing was going on and walked at a normal pace over to the edge of the pool before getting in. Billy swam effortlessly to me, and before i even knew it he swooped me up into his arms bridal style, carrying me out like i weighed nothing.... as we were exiting the pool, I had to admit, the way the water dripped off his hair and down his chest, Billy Hargrove was insanely hot.... I couldn't help but just stare at him, his face was not only hot, but it was .... Beautiful .. i mean his complexion was flawless... his eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue, and his smile was brilliantly white.. and thats when i realized he was smiling at me, I slightly shook my head in order to leave the trance i was in "Wow Y/L/N, that was quite the scene you made there.... you alright?" Billy asked in his teasingly cocky tone he always had, with his big smile, I rolled my eyes "Gosh Hargrove, please excuse me for making a scene by almost dying .... how rude of me!" I scoffed, he licked his lips with a chuckle "Oh almost dying? My bad ma lady, you did in fact almost die" he glanced at the pool and then back at me "In the 4ft end of the pool" he said with a huge smile looking straight into my eyes, with embarrassment i glanced at the pool and back at him "I was not in the 4ft end! i was at least AT LEAST!!! in the 8ft end!" I exclaimed in defense to myself, I hated lying, not only did it make me feel terrible but i was bad at it!! I noticed Billy was still holding me, and I only noticed because Bimbo Barbie and Wanna be Plastic Phoebe Cates was staring at me with murder in their eyes. Billys grip tightened around my thighs and arm as he effortlessly held me "Y/N, I had to train in this pool for 5 hours everyday for week before the pool opened to get this job..... I think i know where the 4ft end is" He said to me with confidence, I was at a loss for words, I had no comeback except for "Well, they must have painted to numbers wrong on the pool" Great one Y/N, stellar... they totally painted the numbers wrong on the pool, especially since you stood just fine where you 'Drowned' .. it was totally the 8ft end ... I wanted to face palm so badly but i didn't wanna give myself away that easy, my thought was interrupted by Billys laughter "Ya know! I bet they did paint them wrong.... My bad Y/N" He said in a sarcastic tone, I rolled my eyes in response "Well Billy, Thank you for helping me ... now if you would please let me down" I said, even though I didn't mind him holding me.... it sure was fun pissing The bimbo twins off. He smiled and nodded his head and gently let me down "It was a pleasure saving you Y/N" and as he started to walk away he turned back to me "Ya know, i teach swim lessons... I could teach you a couple things" He said with a wink "Yeah! maybe! Don't want to drown again" I said while wringing out my hair "Good! wouldn't want your fellow swim team to know that you forgot how to swim over the summer" He said winking before walking away "Yeah!!! that would be embarrassing!!!" I called after him, once he was not looking my face hit the palm
of
my
hand so hard it's like they were magnets.
Before leaving, with all my pride gone anyway, I walked up to Billy "Hey!" I exclaimed up in order for him to hear me up there on the tower, He looked down at me and smiled "Oh Hey Y/N!" He responded "Billy, did you mean it?" he squinted his eyes like he couldn't understand me, I sighed "Did you mean it!!" I exclaimed a little louder, but he still squinted with confusion "Ya know! why don't you just climb up here and tell me" He exclaimed to me, I sighed and looked around "Why don't you come down here!!" I yelled back, and again he squinted, I rolled my eyes and started up the ladder "Was this really necessary Hargrove, I see you talking to the barbie twins all the time with out having them climb up here" I said exasperated, he just smiled propping him self up on his chair "Yes, but you see... Im not actually listening to them.. its the same thing every time" he says before he start " 'Oh Billy, you look so strong, please take me out for a ride sometime' 'Oh Billy, I bet you could bench me with ease' " He said in his best girl impression and then went back to his normal voice "and yadda yadda yadda, but you! if you're talking to me... it must be something worth hearing! so how can i help ya Y/N?" I couldn't help but chuckle "well, i was just wondering if you meant it, when you said you would give me swimming lessons?" I said, looking down at my hands that were clasping the edge of Billys seat to keep my balance, I could feel his eyes on me, but i refused to look at him until i heard his answer "Well, That depends.... are you asking?" He asked, with pure joy in his voice out of amusement, I mustered up my confidence to look at him "Maybe!" I said, he was smiling the largest, cockiest smile, placing his whistle in between his teeth, not breaking his eye contact with me and then *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! IM GONNA COUNT TO 3 AND IF YOU ARE STILL BEING A LITTLE DICK IM GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND TIE YOU TO A TREE ..... BET YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT KID!" He yelled, still not breaking contact , I again couldn't help but chuckle, he opened his mouth so slightly so that the whistle would just fall out with ease, his mouth still open he grew a sheepish smile "Yeah Y/N, It would be an honor to teach you to swim" I smiled "Good!! thanks" I said as I started to climb down the ladder "Hows 10pm tonight?" He said, and I popped back up to level with him to make sure i heard him right "Huh?" he chuckled "I said how about 10pm tonight?" I just sat there for a minute, no knowing what to say.... I would have to sneak out in order to do that but before i could stop myself i said "Yeah sure!! that works for me" He smiled even bigger "Great!! Ill see ya then Y/L/N" I started down the Ladder again "Great!!!" I exclaimed.
I ran home and did the usual, eat dinner with the family, go to my room and read whatever book i'm reading until my parents go to bed, in which i usually go to bed or sneak down to watch some TV to myself, but not tonight.... tonight i was sneaking out.... I've never snuck out before ... let alone sneak out to be with a boy.... and not only that .. the town bad boy ..... ugh! what am I doing.
As soon as I heard my parents bedroom door shut I finished prepping my hair and slipped on some shorts over my swimsuit. I ran down the stairs and snuck out the door, making sure to close the door very slowly in order to not make a sound, clicking it shut ever so slightly, as soon as it shut i sighed in relief and turned running into someone behind me causing me to scream "WHAAAA!" I screamed "Geesh Y/N!! Ya want the whole neighborhood let alone your parents to know your sneaking out" I heard Billy whisper to me as he clasped his hand over my mouth, I let out a huge breath happy it was just him and not some criminal, I licked his hand to get it off my face, he laughed before removing his hand "Excuse me Hargrove, you almost gave me a heart attack" he chuckled "You know this is your second brush with death today, I don't know if me being around you is good for your health" I smiled to myself, Oh no... You definitely are not Hargrove. I looked at him and then realized "Hey!! why are you here, i thought i was meeting you at the pool?" we continued to walk down to his car "You really think i was going to let you walk to the pool, by your self, at 10:00 at night" he said as he held the passenger door to his car open, I rolled my eyes "Im not getting in there" I said crossing my arms, he scrunched his eyebrows confused "and why not?" he asked "Because i hate your car" I said without thinking, he laughed, now leaning on his open car door, looking at me with an amused smile "Oh really? You hate my car!!! you have never been in my car, my car is offended" He said teasingly, I rolled my eyes once more "Why do you hate my car?" He asked, I sighed a big sigh "Because!! it's entirely too loud, which usually wouldn't bother me, but when its waking me up at 3:00 in the morning and i am having a really good dream... yeah that would make me hate a car." He just looks at me with disbelief before bursting into laughter "Well, we're gonna change that" he said winking at me and opening the door wider "Now please get in the car" he said gesturing to the car "No! i'm not getting in the car." I stood my ground, I was not getting in that- My thought was interrupted by strong arms scooping me off the ground and before i knew it I was in Billys arms "Billy!! what are -" he set me in the passenger seat of his car and closed the door before i could finish my sentence. Billy effortlessly swung into the driver seat and within seconds we were zooming down the street, in usual Billy fashion... I had to admit, it was exhilarating going this fast with the music blasting this loud I couldn't help but belt the lyrics along "THERES NO ONE LIKE YOUUUUUU! I CANT WAIT FOR THE NIGHTS WITH YOUU! I IMAGINE THE THE THINGS WE DOOO" I belted, Billy smiled at me in awe, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and Billy started belting the song, hitting his steering wheel to the music, nudging me with his elbow to join back in, so I did. We belted songs all the way to the swimming pool, it wasn't a super long drive... but it was probably the most fun I have ever had in a 5 minute drive. As we pulled up to the pool Billy turned off the car and within seconds he was at my door helping me out. "Soooo are you even allowed to be here this late?" I asked looking around for security cameras, Billy chuckled "ummm thats up for debate, but for tonight.. yes" I nodded along "Alright.... why tonight but not other nights? did you bribe the security camera guy" Billy looked at me as he unlocked the gate to the pool "Not exactly" He said with one of his famous Billy winks, I have received more winks from billy in the last 12 hours then i have received in the past year its self.... but I didn't mind. He finally got the lock undone and we walked in, out of habit i started walking toward my usual chair "Ha, where you going Y/L/N?" I stopped in my tracks and realized what i was doing, I started back to Billy, but being flustered I tripped over my feet causing me to fall right into Billys arms, I couldn't tell if he moved to come catch me or I was just falling in
his
direction and caught me... either way, I liked the feeling of his arms around me "You know, you're a real dork" He said with a chuckle, and in a moment we just stared into each others eyes, until me being me had to sneeze, I faced away and sneezed into my arm, Billy helped me gain my balance before letting go of me "ehem.... well i'm gonna get the pool cover off and then we will start the lesson" I watch as Billy hastily got the cover off, I felt bad letting him do it alone, so I started helping him, he looked up at me and laughed "What are you doing Y/L/N" He said with a chuckle, I smiled at him "What!!! I wasn't gonna let you do it by yourself!!" He just smiled at me and then shrugged as we continued to get the cover off. We were now standing in the middle of the pool "Okay, Y/L/N, let start with basics.... Floating" He said looking at me as if to say 'Come closer' "Y/N You're gonna have to get closer to me" he said smiling grabbing my hand a pulling me closer to him, I looked up and our face's weren't even an inch away with how close we were, I could feel his breath on my cheek "you're gonna want to get on your back" He said in almost a whisper, not moving from how close he was to my face, I blinked a slightly turned to look into his eyes "Excuse me?" he chuckled "To float.... you're going to want to get on your back to float" He said smiling, all of a sudden his face was gone away from mine and i felt one hand on my legs and the other on my lower back as lifted up my Legs and balanced me out ... I was now on my back floating in a pool with Billy Hargrove "Alright, Im gonna let go" he said, he actually sounded kind of nervous, which i have never heard from Billy, as i felt his hands start to move away from me I couldn't help stop my self "No" I whispered, not wanting his hands to leave from me, he smiled and moved closer "If i don't let go, you wont learn" He said, i felt his fingers lightly graze my lower back "Well, I also wont learn if you leave me on my own too soon... ill sink" I said trying have a teasing tone but it was slightly ruined by my heavy breathing, i couldn't help i was filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Billy leaned down closer to my face "Thats true, good job" He said with just as heavy breathing as me. We focused on my floating for about 15 minutes before we went on to other things, we swam all together for about an hour or so until it started to get pretty cold, I could help but shiver "You need to stop Y/L/N?" Billy asked making his way back over to me "Im just a little cold, i'm okay though" I said through chattered teeth, he chuckled and ducked lower in the water and came over to me the rest of the way "C'mon, get down here" He said pushing my shoulder so that I would be in the water as deep as him, he moved closer where his arms were now around mine, and once again our faces weren't even an inch apart "better?" he whispered, all I could do was nod my head, I really was getting warmer.... "You smell good" I said, Did i really just say that...... 'you smell good' ? really??? ugh! ... Billy laughed "Thank you, I take pride in that." he said, moving a little bit closer "As you should, smelling good is something you should take pride in" man i am one with the words, i'm surprised he is even still here, with my stellar flirting..... A week ago I didn't even like looking in Billys direction, and now..... Now i wanted nothing more then to feel him closer not only physically but personally... He was a lot different than i thought he would be. I felt him start to lean in closer to my face, I didn't know why but i back away, which made me really mad at myself.... why did I do that "Im sorry I-" as he apologized I moved back to where I was and closer, inviting him to continue what he was gonna do, he smiled and then moved in, before i knew it his lips were on mine with out thinking I started moving my lips with his, our motion so fluid, he was good at this, his hands were now on my back moving me closer, and there we were ... me and Billy Hargrove.. making out in the middle of Hawkins Public
Pool at
11:45 at night. We both pulled away by the sight of lights passing down the street, cautious of getting caught, we both looked back at each other and laughed "You're good at that" I said catching my breath, once again feeling the blood rush to my cheeks "You're very honest ya know that" he said, rubbing my back now "Ya wanna know something though.... You're good at it too" He said looking down and quickly licking his lips and then looking back up at me "How do you do that?" I asked, he scrunched his brows confused "How do i do what?" I sighed "Get me from hating you to ... to... this! in less than a week" I exclaimed in a slight whisper "Its my super power" he chuckled "Now, c'mon... I better get you home" and before I could blink his hands were off my back and he was effortlessly hopping out of the pool. totally disregarding the stairs, he held his hand out to help me out the same way "I think, Im gonna use the stairs... ya know because ... thats why they are there" I said teasingly, he rolled his eyes "But where is the fun in that" he scoffed as he walked over to the stairs to meet me, and as soon as I reached the top he had me slung over his shoulder "Aaahh!!! Billy, I know that events today may prove other wise, but I do know how to walk on my own" I said in protest "Sure! but what if i let you down and all of a sudden a eagle comes down and swoops you away and i wont be able to stop him" I rolled my eyes at his comment "The likely hood of that happening, is about as good as me winning the lottery 3 times in 2 days" I said still hanging upside down on his shoulder "Well, maybe i just like holding you" and then ladies and gentleman .... butterflies happened... oh boy.
We had a good 5 minute ride back to my house, where he held my hand, in which I tried to protest just to mess with him but inevitably gave in... I like it. When we pulled up, just like before Billy quickly got out of the car and had my door open in second, helping me out and walking me to my door with our fingers interlocked, I started for my door until i felt a tug of Billy pulling me back to him, I knew he was strong, but just one tug i was flying back to him, he had to catch me, in which our faces were once again within millimeters from each other "We gotta stop meeting like this" He said teasingly with his famous smile "I gotta tell you something" I slipped out "I know how to swim and I wasn't really drowning, I pretended to get your attention" I said entirely too fast, he chuckled "I know" I paused at what he said "You know?" I asked confused "Ya know Y/N, You are a terrible liar..... First off no one drowns in the 4ft end of a pool unless your 3, and second we may not have talked too often in school... but that doesn't mean I didn't notice you, You're the captain of the swim team, which is why i brought it up earlier today, so of course you know how to swim... I offered the swim lessons as joke.. and then you came and asked and..... I couldn't be happier you did" He said still holding me, I smiled and did a little excited hop "You noticed me?" I said a little too eager, he chuckled and looked away and then looked back "Theres no one like you Y/L/N" he said right before taking my chin lightly with his fingers and bringing me in for gentle but passionate kiss goodnight.
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brelione · 3 years
Text
Love and Hate (The Best Boys)
dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 
Series Masterlist
SHES HEREEEE
Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3
Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.
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You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.
You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.
Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.
 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.
He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.
You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.
He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.
Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.
Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.
Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.
She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.
 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.
You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 
“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 
“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 
“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.
 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 
Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 
The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.
 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.
 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 
“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 
“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 
“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.
“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 
You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.
 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.
 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.
 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.
 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 
“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.
 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 
You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 
“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 
“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 
It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 
The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 
“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 
You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 
He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 
As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 
Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 
He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.
 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 
“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 
He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 
Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.
 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 
Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.
 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 
She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.
 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 
“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 
Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 
Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 
You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.
 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.
 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.
 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 
“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 
It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.
 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 
Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 
Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 
Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 
Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.
 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 
It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.
 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 
Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.
 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 
“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 
He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.
 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 
“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 
“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 
Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 
It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 
He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 
“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.
That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.
 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 
“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 
Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 
Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 
“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.
 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.
 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.
 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.
 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 
There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 
He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.
 “So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.
@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky​ @jjjmaybank​ @gracelovesbroadway​  @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor​ @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8​ @stupidpendeja​ @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian   @simonsbluee  @deionswannabegirl​ @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld​​@annmariek8 @harryswigss​ @ibookofstars​  @lostaurorax​​ @cheshirecat107​​​
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lilyclawthorne · 3 years
Text
Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts
I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode
"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh
"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.
anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid
Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid
Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety
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I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.
lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time
Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)
ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)
new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!
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..yikes that fridge is empty
"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here
confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)
please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺
"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think
witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)
ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that
she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.
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"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she
ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years
I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.
Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years
hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't
Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠
SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??
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"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing
also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔 
Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne
ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.
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wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason
also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.
PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms
"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.
Also, nice snatch Luz 😊
anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here
EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????
"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy
Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.
PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED
but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??
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Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.
HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??
"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???
anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here
Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude
ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue
no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now
Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child
Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.
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GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)
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"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.
ok but this is sweet
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NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok
"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this
"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.
I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways
"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.
alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu
NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he
Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.
AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO
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ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(
well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend
anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore
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myrfing · 2 years
Text
zone 5. i've been put through the churner i am now butter. major msq spoilers below & sidequests in respective areas as well
z1 / z2 / z3 / z4 / z5 / z6
- otherwise known as "pipis room"
- oh my "elidibus will become a small white dog" theory got smashed. well it is better than being trapped in the rave tower and really that is kinda just that for him which is fine
- HYTHLODAEUS MOTHER OF ALL VIERAS
- hades you look busted as hell that's what you get for being a conservative
- IM BEING PICKED ON BY LONGMEN BRO
- also me going like "oh yeah my azem does not have to look like gourd" -> them immediately busting it. though I did design gourdteenth to share a lot of facial features so it's whatever
- oh my god the pipis room looks like what I imagine the amaurotine egg hatching room to be like. LMFAO. OKAY. WELL I GUESS
- HI DAELYN aka venat. hey girl
- omfg stupid little amaurotine gourd
- fartdaniel you made an autistic bird child. okay
- and you made her an empath yep shes that girl going nuts i heard when zodiark died huh
- BEAST? good god when that gourd beast hits
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- girl I can make you an apple. just give me a moment
- aw hermes. you were such a gentle dude. too bad you are just too afraid of death
- UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOW I HAVE TO WRITE AROUND AZEM GIVING HADES A MF RECOMMENDATION i mean it's not impossible im just already reaching cus i dont care about this man
- gourd's stupid hips give him an ass in the robe that the others do not have as elezen bases it is sickening
- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE AMAUROT FATAL FLAW MATCHES MY THING
- bro hermes my azem and aletheia were definitely fucking up flowers making them all nasty and yucky disgusting for similar reasons you guys should have met
- IM SICKKK
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- THE RONKA WORM?
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- THEY'RE STILL NOT EXPLAINING THE BEAVERS...
- THAT FUCKING ENTRANCE VENAT ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE I LOVE YOU
- he looks so annoyed at hades butting in LMFAOOO my 1 in character moment *clutches*
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- corn
- oh yeah you were insane and depressed and heavy with guilt btw hades. there's this thing called "mental illness" and your acquaintance hermes is exhibiting it also
- i mean thats what I told the people on the twitter emet selt
- this whole time im living in fear they'll show me a hyurlezenified peeled gourdteenth
- she does the wol hand fist im so. you're everything
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- [archivist voice] shouldnt you be ummmm dead venat. Just saying
- the fact we get to tell her the world is beautiful. GODDD THIS IS ALL I WANTED
- im gona fucking cry they are so important to me
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- THAT DUELLL SHE'S SO COOL osrry im insane.
- i admit being a little hurt when argos did not like me immediately HOWEVER..i hope we get him as a mount one day. also he wiggled for me
- @ the priggish taxonomist you are goingto name it cactuar right. you are calling it a cactuar yes
- oooh that's my first time catching a typo in this game. "I will see this creatures" in the flight of the charybdis sidequest
- also im...shocked that the...dynamis dice.
- oh hey! "it's all wrong" <- definitely overthinking this
- oh man meteion's descriptions of the other planets...one must be the one omega's from. and they are all very lonely
- WHY IS SHE THE CHARACTER OF MY DREAMS RE: AMAUROTJUST MAKING EVERYTHING COME TRUE. i glug
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- sorry you are way too sexy with a sword and shield for me NOT to make you tank *kicks emet selt off* also selch as anything but a blm seems wrong which im assuming he is
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- bard hythlo...cute
- i dc'd mid dungeon head in hands Please their dps is so low
- No My Power "😔". sorry hermbies
- it's okay hermy it's terrible to say this but because of you I have my world. also emet selch what mf legacy. ALSO WHY DIDNT YOU TWO JUMP WITH US? LMFAO?
- also the implications from sidequests and notes and stuff that the tribes people are like.....made...by the ancients....while the playable races are just the ancients kind of abysmal not gonna lie I hope I am wrong
- mitron sending his mf students to get flowers for his date? god was he always a weirdo then
- oh my fucking god. venat. my love.
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- also in retrospect. hermes being like I can transform to help & e-s being like Um no that's embarrassing and weird. and he's like ok. i guess & then later he's like ahhh this is so sad *transforms before anyone can say anything*
- honestly. gourd would not escape the planet for myriad reasons but one of them being he does wish to die under the same sky that the spires did. and also it's the world venat loves so much
- CID TIME? PERHAPS?
- also neglected to mention since I was wondering if i should split the post here but graha really is shining this expac that's my boy...i cant believe he got that sequence though LMFAOO he and alisaie bffs
- also you sharlayans totally fucking plan to exclude the tribes dont you
- sicard is so fucking funyn he's just this random pirate guy everyone let into the room
- them saying "oh I bet this task would be boring for you" I DID ALL THE SIDEQUESTS ALL OF THEM WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOVE THIS SHIT and I can teleport into the coils and grab it in like a day. come on <- wants to be alone
- s-...seiryu..?
- i know this is supposed to mirror the talos arc but honestly I'm not super enthused about the ark. i live in a world with elongated musks man
- being given actual allotted time to do sidequests is sweet though
- i'm out of image slots on this post but Silken Grin is one of the cutest femroe npcs ive seen
- aw I was hoping I'd get to drag around 4 loporrits and 1 urianger
- bro do NOT learn about the culinary arts from SHARLAYAN
- oh. wow that hit me for some reason urianger & moen's parents. ouugh...seeing her hug him and be glad he's here. im happy for you gentle elf man
- "You can live here your whole life and hardly learn a thing" MANN ew is so good. so good
- erenville you hansome little man OH MY GOD ALPHA AND OMEGA? and ohhh graha is so happy to see NOAH again
- GRHA LMFAOO THANK YOU FOR CUTTING IT SHORT. sorry i just. good for the twins I guess i just do not care
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thoriffix · 4 years
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Can you rec some media with canon queer characters 😌
ofc!! thisll by no means be an exhaustive list but idk what youre looking for specifically so ill break it into categories
my current favs!! if u follow me u know these already lol
the umbrella academy: netflix show abt dysfunctional superpowered siblings reuniting to stop the apocalypse. canon mlm character (pansexual according to his actor) w mlm romance, canon wlw character (lesbian according to someone on the show dont rmr who) w het romance in s1, wlw romance in s2 - this is one of my absolute fav shows at the minute in general its brilliant
the magnus archives: horror podcast abt the head archivist of an institute researching experiences w the supernatural. protagonist is canonically biromantic asexual, in a mlm relationship in s5, and there is another canon bisexual character, as well as (iirc) a canon wlw couple - yall know ive been so into tma lately its so so good, obviously if you dont like horror its not for you but if you do.. 👀
sanders sides: youtube series abt a gay dude working out his emotional problems via personified aspects of his personality. all the characters are gay cuz thas what thomas is baby! - i was hesitant abt putting this cuz thomas is a person not a character lol but if u haven't seen sasi i recommend it its like free therapy but theres songs sometimes
shows!
julie and the phantoms (netflix remake): musical show abt a teen girl rediscovering music after her mothers death w the help of three ghosts who were in a 90s band. canon gay character w a slow burn romance (not yet canon bfs but s2 lets go) - its very cheesy and the musical segments can drag on a bit but its p good overall
lucifer: detective show abt lucifer abandoning his rule of hell to buy a nightclub and beginning to solve murders w the lapd. lucifer is canonically bi/pan, as is his demon pal mazikeen, but queerness rly isnt a focus of the show its more casual rep - that being said its a good show overall, if a little predictable now n then (s1-3 on amazon prime, 4+5 on netflix)
kipo and the age of wonderbeasts: fantasy cartoon set in a future filled w mutant intelligent animals, kipo finds herself lost and has to get home w the help of her friends. canon gay character as one of the mains, canon nb side character - its a rly good cartoon! lots of fun, excellent soundtrack, and the main characters are all poc which is rly nice to see
the dragon prince: cartoon abt two princes and an elf assassin returning a dragon egg to its mother. canon mlm couple, several canon wlw characters, canon nb character - i havent seen the show myself but ive heard very good things abt it!
i am not okay with this: netflix show abt a teen girl discovering she has superpowers and hating it. protag is canon wlw (i THINK shes a lesbian but i havent watched it in a hot sec), developing wlw relationship - ianowt slaps! sad that s2 got cancelled but s1 is real good its a touch spooky and theres a bit of gore/blood so watch out lol
schitt's creek: sitcom abt a rich family who lose all their money and have to move into the motel of a town they bought as a joke. canon pansexual character and canon gay character w one of the sweetest mlm relationships - a rly good witty show w excellent character development for every character!
good omens: show abt a demon and an angel trying to stop the end of the world. every celestial character in it is nonbinary, + crowley and aziraphale have a nonexplicit (ie no on screen pda lol) romance - good omens is such a good queer show none of the characters care abt gender in the slightest lmao, plus the show in general is fantastic (the book is also very good)
movies!
the old guard: a group of immortals fight an organisation that wants to capitalise off their immortality. canon mlm couple - another one i havent seen yet (i will!) but apparently very good
it chapter 2: horror sequel to It, w the main characters returning to derry to defeat pennywise for good. canon gay character in unrequited love - i only say chapter 2 because his queerness isnt referenced at all in the first film, again its big horror and theres no gay romance just gay tragedy but its a good film
love, simon: romcom about a closeted gay teen falling in love w someone over emails. do i even need to state the rep? - honestly if u haven't seen love simon yet what are you even DOING its so good proper fluffy queer romcom, the book (simon vs the homosapiens agenda) is also really good!! so is the sequel (leah on the offbeat) where the protag is a bi girl + it focuses on a wlw romance
the way he looks: brazilian coming of age film abt a blind teen boy falling for the new kid at his school. canon mlm relationship - this doesnt seem to be on (british) netflix anymore so idk where youd find it with subtitles but i rmr liking it a lot!
games!
night in the woods: 2d platformer abt a young woman (well. cat) dropping out of college and coming home to live w her parents + discovering spooky happenings in her hometown. canon mlm couple and i believe the protag is canonically bi? - i will recommend nitw to literally anyone who will listen its one of my all time favourite games, deals w a lot of mental health issues and its absolutely gorgeous w a brilliant soundtrack and rly good dialogue thats witty and serious and realistic (its on steam + switch for sure dk abt other platforms, abt 15 quid i think?)
tell me why: adventure game abt twins returning to their childhood home + findin Secrets. canon trans male character - i havent got around to buying + playing this yet but it looks really good! (its in three chapters + on steam, not sure on price)
other media!
the art of being normal: slice of life novel abt a young trans girl discovering herself. main characters are a trans man and a trans woman. - a good novel! trigger warning for transphobic actions including descriptions of a transphobic attack on the guy, and its certainly not without its faults otherwise, but i thought it was pretty good
the adventure zone: dungeons and dragons podcast by the mcelroy brothers. idk specifics but theres a lot of canon queer characters in it! - i havent listened to taz yet but i know a lot abt it, inc that its good and funny and has plenty of queer rep
theres several more i like that arent listed here but to keep this from getting just ridiculously long ill leave it there :] tried to get a range of genres and medias, hopefully theres something for you in there!
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glumpiglet · 4 years
Note
Beetlejuice meeting his S/O and shes a ghost?
Hi..Thank you for the request.. I had a lot of fun with this one.. It really got away from me lol I hope you like it <3 to those who requested I havent forgotten about you, it’s just easier for me to write on the weekend when I’m not working. K love you guys
Warning: bit of swearing.. basic beej innuendos... thats it.
If you had known that when you woke up that Wednesday, it would have been your last day alive, you probably would have done so not hungover. Stumbling out of bed, sheets still clutching at your legs, you swore at the morning sun shining once again for the high, wide windows in all the bedrooms. It was on the list to replace the sheer curtains, but fabric that long was hard to find and not cheap to buy.
When Great Aunt Gerdy left you her house, the only wish she had was to ‘preserve, protect, and breath life back into Windflew Manor.’
Sweet, naive Gertrude. Spun of sugar more than flesh, your great aunt had been the youngest of twelve and definitely your favourite family member. Growing up, you fondly remembered spending summers here, riding your bike through the halls on rainy days, playing ‘Pirates and Rogues’ in the backyard with Gerdy and her children.
When you got older you begged to still come to the Manor; Gertrude watched you grow and in her own mind, Auntie Gerdy had assumed you would follow the steps of the women in your family, hunker down with a fine man, pop out some kids every few years.
As you said, Gertrude was tragically naive. Never had the heart to ever tell her the truth. That marriage….Children? Had never even entered the equations of goals. You wanted a spontaneous, fun life full of breakable things. Adventure. 
But also it was known that if you didn’t take this house, it would have gone to an auction. It broke your heart the way her children acted, their mother was one of the greatest women you had ever met, a role model. It was what she wanted. You couldn’t do that to Aunt Gerdy. So with hesitant determination, you had set about restoring Windflew Manor.
Due to funds, you were forced to do most of the work, getting help for a few handier friends. But it had been coming along nicely, room by room the cobwebs and mold were disappearing. It was satisfying work.  
Resting your head against the shower wall, however, you didn’t think you could find the strength to tackle the gardens today. It was all your friend's fault, ‘one more drink (Y/N), we’ve worked so hard!’ 
Exiting the shower, wiping the fog from the mirror, you reflected on how tired the image looked as you moisturized, changing into comfy shorts and a tank top without bothering to properly dry yourself. It was a warm day and you liked the cool moisture mixed with the lotion slicking your skin.
Just as you began brushing your teeth, the doorbell rang multiple times. Who the hell was that this early in the morning? The sound came again, more insistent and you had to roll your eyes.
“I’m coming, I’m coming. Hold your horses..” Sprinting down the hallway, trying to steady on the banister, you felt the gravity shift as your feet slid across the hardwood.
You supposed everyone would lament your damned clumsiness, your carelessness. Imprinted on the skin, you held the reminders of how prone to accidents you had been. It had been a joke in the family for years. ‘(Y/N) is gonna kill herself one day!’ 
It was only a matter of time. 
Swing your hand wildly, nothing could be gripped as you felt yourself swinging forward, hurdling towards the twenty-six flight of stairs that as a child, never it was considered it would have spelled your end….  
**
Turns out, it had been nothing more than a neighbor, wanting to let you know the street sweepers would be out tomorrow. 
Life was funny that way. 
Watching in dull horror as the EMT’s took your body away, trying to process the following information.. It came to you so obviously even though it sounded crazy: You weren’t having some out of body experience… You hadn’t taken any hallucinogenic drugs lately.. You were dead. 
Thinking about what the afterlife would have been: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory…. Haunting Auntie’s empty house had not been on the top of the list. 
Time was meaningless now, you could look at the grandfather clock and see two p.m and look five minutes later and see eleven a.m. it was always cold. You cursed not wearing something warmer than your p.j’s that last morning, not that you thought it would have helped. 
Going outside had been a big no-no. Whatever fucked up colossal worm creature had been out there when you tried the one time to leave, was obviously meant to be keeping you here. So here you stayed.
It could have been only a day you spent dead and lonely in the house. Or a week. A month. Years. You were being a little dramatic, you knew it hadn’t been years. Friends and family came by, grieving openly, making your heartbreak; and removing all your items, which was even worse. Obviously to be sold off or stored in your old room. A time capsule.
On one of the many days that found you aimlessly wandering the halls, a book fell before you without pretense. Equal parts startled and puzzled, well as much as a ghost could be, you picked it up.  
‘Handbook for the Recently Deceased..’
Gripping the pages, intent to open, you were halted as your front door swung open. A dozen or so handsome, young men carrying multiple packed things burst into Aunt Gerdy’s foyer, laughing and chatting loudly.  
“Aw, dude this place is awesome!”
“Look at all the space!”
“Get that pong table over there!”
“What the fuck!?”
Stomping forward, you were about to raise your voice louder before you stopped yourself….Right, stupid... They couldn’t see you… The whole ‘being dead thing’.
Watching in impotent rage as they slammed their things on the hardwood floor, scuffing their sneakers on the expensive carpets you had saved every penny for…
This was not good. Not good at all.
**
You had been right.
It wasn’t hard to not like these kids. You weren’t really into the whole ‘boys would be boys’ excuse for male idiocy in their youths. 
You didn’t like the way they treated each other, the archaic ‘hazing’ they would often do leaving you feeling ill. You didn’t like the way they treated the girls they used and laughed as they were forced down the traditional ‘walk of shame’ making you furious.
You especially did not like the way they treated the Manor. It was terrible, gaudy streamers and tacky posters were pinned to the walls. Daily parties...Keggers…. Were held here, the place was a war zone. Litter and garbage cluttered every hall and you were beginning to tear your hair out in helplessness. 
They had turned your Aunt’s treasured home and your hardworking project into a frat house. It was just rude.
What were you gonna do? Time passed and you watched as the house grew further and further into decay when a lightbulb burst unexpectedly. 
Realizing your answer, you hoped the discarded handbook was still where you had dropped it. Returning to the living room, you sighed in relief at seeing the odd-looking text where you left it. Walking up to it, however, you noticed something there that wasn’t there before. 
A card, dusty, and sticking out of a random page. Bending down you began pulling at it, fingering the worn edges. You lifted it up into the light, trying to read it under all the dirt caked on. On the card, it just said one word three times, strangely compelled you said it out loud.
“Betelgeuse… Betelgeuse…. Betelgeuse?”
The burst of smoke made you hack instantly, it was like someone smoked weed in an embalming room, pungent and eye-watering. 
It was a man. Well, no. Not a human man in any case. Duh. You would say this was the weirdest thing to ever happen to you, but nothing was normal after you died apparently.
Observing as he waved his hands, stepping out of the cloud, you couldn’t help the widening of your eyes...He was.. Definitely interesting looking.. 
“Geez, did I come late to the party or what-… Woah.”  
He looked awful and smelt even worse, and why the hell was he here?
The… Character that stepped had gone silent. Awkward and stilted, you struggled to speak. It couldn’t help being noticed his... Hair was changing colour… Most certainly going from an almost neon green to baby pink…. What was he? 
“Don’t be afraid. You’re dead. I am also dead.” There was a moment before an incredulous giggle escaped your lips, you couldn’t help but realize it had been the first time you laughed since.. Well..
“Yeah, I figured that. From... You know… Seeing my dead body get taken away.” The two of you stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the silence deafening. 
Before he pounced. Flouncing over in a comical manner, he began to circle you, the humour disappearing from you at the look in his eye. 
“Huh, that line usually doesn’t work.. You’re surprisingly calm..” Turning your head until you couldn’t anymore, you swiveled striving for eye contact. He completed his journey around and stood in front of you, seeming to be searching for something. Before he held his grimey hand out…. The intense desire to hesitate held you still. 
It didn’t seem to deter him in the slightest.
“Hello! A pleasure to meetcha-” Leaning forward, you realized in just enough time what he was doing before he could press his lips to yours, jumping back. 
“Uh, excuse me!?” 
“Can’t blame a demon for trying, babes. Anyways uh… What can I do for you?” He fidgeted with his jacket, pulling at the cuffs and flapping the lapels, wafting his stench towards you making you gag. Covering your nose you murmured beyond belief.
“What do you mean?”
“Well usually I only get called when someone needs something from me….. Bio-exorcism. Homicide. Sexual pleasure. I do it all.” This guy couldn’t actually be serious… You shook your head, none of this was helping. You had gone to the book for an answer and had only gotten even more questions. 
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about dude, I just found this card in this book. Anyways, what is happening right now? Who are you and why can you see me?”
Snickering, he continued to very eagerly invade your personal space and it was getting harder to find the space in the living room. The predator was cornering.
“You said my name, sexy. You called me.” 
What kind of name was Betelgeuse? Deciding immediately to shorten it for ease, you opened your mouth but apparently, he was on a roll, and continued. 
“And I already told you.. We’re dead. Deceased. Post Mortem.” Bumping into the wall, just hearing the words from someone else’s lips made you stop… Well, dead. Pun intended. Before they could be halted tears were gathering in your eyes… You weren’t even that emotional about it anymore, had already spent endless nights sobbing about what-ifs and regrets...Not for a while, still, it never got any easier to think about. 
Trying and failing miserably to hide the sniffles, you peered at BJ’s surprised expression. 
“Shit...shit..shit. I didn’t mean to do that…. Don’t cry,” Wiping at stubborn tears that fell against your wishes, you could see BJ shuffle his feet, looking extremely uncomfortable at your sudden breakdown. You tried to calm him, ironically.
“No, I’m fine. It’s just… Not been that great so far... Sometimes I think I might be in hell.” Staring at the ground, you had the overwhelming wish once again for it to finally swallow you whole and take you where you belonged.
“Is it… Your current occupants?”
“It certainly doesn’t help.” Looking up at BJ’s tilted head and rapt expression, the need to confide was making you continue.
“My Aunt left me this house and… I’ve hated seeing what they're doing to it.” BJ looked to be contemplating something before he spoke.
“I could help you.”
You looked at him “What do you mean?”
“I told you.. Again... Sweetheart, you’re smokin’ hot but your memory’s shit. I’m a Bio-exorcist. Getting breathers out is my forte. Well, most breathers can’t see me… But I can teach you! Breathers are waay more likely to see a ghost than a demon.” Riveted by what he was saying, you didn’t realize his pursuit until you felt his grip sound your waist, pulling you closer.
“Mmm… Get you in a little school uniform.. Give you extra credit...” Blatantly ignoring him, focusing on the important part of what he said. 
“What you’re saying is we can get these kids out of here?”
“Of course babes. I take my job very seriously.” Shooting him an incredulous look, you managed to extract from him without much ease, he was really touchy for someone you just met.
“Yeah, I noticed…”
This was insanity. You weren’t actually considering letting this.. Demon?! To teach you how to scare the young men living in your house. It was dangerous and crazy.
Even more, there was no other option. Desperate times.
“Then you’re hired,”
“Oh, this is gonna be so good!” Once again having to duck away from his advance, you pressed a hand to the dirty front of his suit, holding him at bay.
“Stop that,”
“Hmm... Playing hard to get, I respect that.”
Maybe this wasn’t a great idea.
**
In hindsight, it worked out perfectly. Beej, as he had assured, was very good at his job. Just because that job entailed scaring the shit out of anyone and anything around him shouldn’t be held against him. 
Once again, incredulously if you had known in your life that your love of horror movies would have come in handy in your afterlife, you would have paid much more attention.  
Beej was impressed with your novice skill. The voice throwing came naturally to you, and your favourite trick was hiding in the corner of one of their bedrooms, positioning your arms and legs at odd angles and whispering to the sleeping boys, stifling giggles as they awoke, petrified and flew downstairs, waking everyone else in the house.
None of them could actually see you, but you had sworn the one redheaded one had locked eyes in the bathroom mirror, the two of you paused before the urge to scare rapidly left and the need to leave arose. Walking out the bathroom his eyes had definitely followed. 
He never told his friends about it, but BJ had said he watched him lay awake more than one night, clutching his sheets a little too tight. 
Possession was something you felt was unnecessary. Beej had often offered to uh.. Show you how it worked but the thought of BJ well.. Inside of you… It made your skin crawl and you didn’t know if it was from repulsion or excitement.
BJ was.. Unexpected in the best way. Devilishly Intelligent. Hilarious and.. You saw glimpses of his sweetness. He bashfully gave you dead flowers from the garden and was constantly sending you praises that would make you blush if you still had blood. How beautiful you were, how great of a scarer you were…. After getting over the whole stink thing, he was really cute and you might have been... Falling for him. Just the thought made you terrified. 
It all came to an end gradually. It was unexpected, you thought it would have been some big final fright, using all of your cunning ghostly powers. But no, one by one they just disappeared. Claiming to be moving back with family, dropping out, or simply leaving for ‘reasons’.
On the day you stood in the kitchen, now empty save for a few left behind appliances, the beaming smile sent to BJ couldn’t be contained.
“We did it.”
“You did it, babes. I was uh- Just along for the ride, I guess.”
Shifting closer to him, you saw with amusement Beej staring at your lips. The BJ of before would have taken your closeness as an immediate seduction, trying his luck. Now the fact he was trying to control himself, made your heart swell. 
The moment was broken by the sound of the front door opening, you held your breath to see who, or what entered.
A beautiful couple entered, followed by an obvious real estate agent, discussing the house. The couple seemed too good to be true, polite, and awed at the house. Seeing the little bundle of a baby tucked in the mother’s arm as they continued their inspection. You supposed in a way Aunt Gertrude had gotten her wish. And that could be enough.
You turned to Beej watching the scene with an odd countenance.   
“Thank you BJ, really. I’ve had a lot of fun.” You finally noticed. There was purple in his hair, something was making him sad.
“Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?” 
Oh. oh.
Struggling to answer him, you watched as he further sank in himself. “I read the book, BJ..The Netherworld… Shouldn’t I be…”
“Not yet! Once you get there… We won’t be able to see each other this much... Haven’t we been having fun?” 
“Of course but-”
“Don’t leave!” His voice was frantic, higher-pitched than you ever heard, you couldn’t find the words to calm him.
“Please! I’ll… I’ve been looking into something…” The moment took the oddest turn when Beej practically flew to his knees, reaching out to you to clasp your hands between his before clearly speaking two words you never imagined him saying.
“Marry me.”
The words shocked you. Scandalized, you said the one thing you could.
“Beetlejuice!” That wasn’t it, the look on his face broke you. It was pitiful, desperate.
“No nonono say something else babes, let me explain!” You reached out, stroking his stubble as his giant, golden eyes glittered at you with so many emotions swirling.
“I’m not gonna send you away Beej, stop please.” Taking deep breaths between you, the urge to sink to the floor with him ran over you. Somewhere in your mind you realized how stupid this was, two ghosts having a panic attack in the kitchen, but weirder things have happened.
“If I… Marry a breather. I get brought to life. So I’ve been thinking..” Beej was asking to marry you.. Could ghosts and demons even get married? Would you have a wedding? Invite other ghosts to the ceremony?
“I don’t know BJ… We don’t even know if it will work,” You hadn’t said ‘no’ yet. At the moment, you couldn’t find the desire to do so. You liked Beej, it was the little things in death you realized that mattered. 
“What have we got to lose?.. I thought..”
Looking at him, on the floor with you. Overwhelmed with affection, you leaned forward, noting with glee Beej’s astonishment. Kissing the ghost with the most was... Everything and nothing what you expected. His tasted like cigarettes and dirt, still you leaned into him more.
The one thing that could make death totally rad. Being with him. He was absolutely right. Pulling away, looking at his blissed out face, eyes staying closed, you gave him your answer. 
“Yes. Okay. I’ll marry you.”
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softboyscully · 4 years
Text
Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share
public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right
so ill just go by the grades i guess
Kindergarten, first year
i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit
we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair
i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime
SPEAKING of naptime
i never slept during it
once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe
i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose
sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”
i put it up my fucking nose
try to get it out, just push it farther in
im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts
go up to my teacher
“you’re supposed to be asleep!”
“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”
teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge
just. sends me back to my mat
that was it
the art room was tiny
like re-purposed broom closet tiny
there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced
there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread
someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something
we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class
Kindergarten, second year
i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination
but seriously they were horrible
we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark
me and sarah attained a new friend, john
honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away
i have two vivid memories
one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze
they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down
the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up
it was funny, so he did it again
and again
me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives
after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”
one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie
most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards
my mother was horrified
ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 
1st grade
this is when i moved
beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me
nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool
thing is i was a little shit
told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)
all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)
had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story
2nd grade
i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit
like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us
never actually taught us stuff???
middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.
“what do you mean?”
“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”
“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”
“sure, i could try that.”
“o....kay”
he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)
like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????
there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived
funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me
something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas
also we had fish
every day someone else was in charge of feeding them
one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top
i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”
everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”
we held a funeral
the cause of death is still undetermined
3rd grade
this year just draws a blank for me
all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock
also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here
4th grade
i had two teachers this year
one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch
made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized
i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average
instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 
she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl
this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once
she sucked, Ms. S
5th grade
this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do
but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++
he legitimately taught me math
we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes
the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles
at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming
also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)
she was kind of crazy
she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked
once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)
Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons
also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:
someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest
a guy named Makenzie won
remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation
we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine
like how the fuck did any of those things get there
and where’s the fourth sock
b o t t l e f l i p p i n g
but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria
my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes
one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video
four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive
like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone
and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit
no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee
me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences
“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”
“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”
“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”
“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”
“RIGHT”  
also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”
71 notes · View notes
ajokeformur-ray · 4 years
Text
✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨
I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.
There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰
Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 
 Word count: 4, 597.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -
*Presses play*
OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 
Ugh that white shirt... 🥵
“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀
oh, honey, no. 
Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.
sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl
wanna kiss that tear away...
CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*
jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood
you spin me right round, baby, right round...
ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺
someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 
that cello
Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~
sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...
what else will squirt tonight???👀
ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.
CRYINGGGGG
ohhhh baby boyyyy....
legit just cooed aloud
oh angel <3 
“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”
it is my love... it is. 
let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs
ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.
Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle
you deserve better, sweetheart.
my love, my life.
I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM
“who knows?”
yeah me too, my love. me too. 
“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”
oh baby.
i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺
had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 
okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad
“‘cuse you bitch?”
the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 
GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT
CRYINGGGGG 
ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere
those fucking steps
me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.
my love, my life
the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one
wanna rub cream on your bruises
“yeah, mum” so soft im cry
“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.
“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER
“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺
murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢
arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺
“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo
“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD
“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!
just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life
YOU SWEET THING
HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭
YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 
can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥
“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT
arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo
randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE
you asswipe
arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 
“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
THOSE CURLS
arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 
HOYYYYYYT 
his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 
RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 
brewing insanity..... 
POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS
RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 
those mf stairs again
it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...
never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT
lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule
Gigi is so CUTE 🥺
THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT
“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 
the moon is a silver dollar... 
THOSE CURLS
THOSE BARE FEET
THAT SOFT VOICE
ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 
frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 
espesh on ahs she’s a queen
but i digress lmao wrong fandom
“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”
FUCK OFF PENNY 
FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE
slap that bass.... 
FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD
zoom zoom the world is in a mess
LMAO YEP
“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk
THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG
GET ITTTTTT
UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS
ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”
omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy
lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????
arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 
someone needs to teach you social interactions... 
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE
that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all
lmao bad comediannnnnn
arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 
wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 
you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you
ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)
“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND
you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 
his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 
“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 
“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE
CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL
I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 
THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF
HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG
BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT
SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 
bestest party clownnnn 
“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺
aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude
NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY
LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???
dudes 35 not a kid 
throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 
ew
EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE
ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay
you wanna help but you dont know how
you sweet thing 
send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 
IM CRYINGGGGG
“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”
JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY
lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 
HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????
carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌
WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 
nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you
i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you
gritting his teeth not taking in anymore
YES BABY GET EEEEEEM
YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU
first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 
no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE
KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS
GOOD BOYYYYYY
carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities
8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰
run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)
BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE
fuck me against that dirty counter
joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....
that cello though unffff 👌
got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 
and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)
my brain is 90% song lyrics 
hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning
my sweet boy
my wonderful angel
my fallen angel
T POSEEEEE
DAYDREAM KISSSSS
ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 
please and thanks
so confident
so smooth
so sure
unf
take me angel im all yours 
and my name is carnival
SASSY BOYYYYY
I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 
YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 
LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT
TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT
LMAOOO PUNCH OUT
BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG
HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH
OR HIS OWN LIMITS
“DONT SMILE”
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip
aka me every fuckin minute of my life 
SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME
ILL CRY BUT DO IT
LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 
ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE
YOUUUUUUU 
“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump
“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS
STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE
“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”
and
“you dont listen do you”
BOTH ARE MOODS
i feel them so hard
hes so sure of himself in this session
so angry and done and weary
“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED
that green jumper omggg 
good luck getting me out of it pfffft 
“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”
want it back???? payment is kissessss
EW SEXIST COMEDIAN
arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 
im so so proud of youuuuu
COLLARBONEEEEEES
OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG
I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes
just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 
every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches
CRYINGGGGG
oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 
you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 
lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 
WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 
givin me ideas.... 
SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING
SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 
WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY
YOU’LL GET BY
SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW
SMILE
AND MAYBE TOMORROW
YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH
arthur is my sunshine
EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG
ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 
gonna put people off their food doin that 
thats life
arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 
erika.exe has stopped working 
“come on dance with me”
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
i prefer the horizontal dance myself...
“big date”
“deliver the letter”
NARCISSISM 
ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR
IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 
and those eyes
ugh fuck meeee ~ 
yes thats an invitation
penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 
sorry i dont buy it
she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 
CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY
OMG
his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast
angry penguinnnnn
HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET
CUUUUUUUTE
the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 
in another life, arthur....
i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better
legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film
your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 
you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids
you are the best party clown
I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS
like my server nameee ~ 
“hi” that soft noise 🥺
arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵
okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.
i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??
it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham
ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 
the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌
arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too
7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???
you gotta lie, angel.
you’re in way over your head but lie
yeeees good boy!!
“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!
NO ITS EXIT ONLY
KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 
he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 
you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 
TURN THE TV OFF
TURN IT OFF
TURN IT - 
OH TOO LATE
arthurrrrr ~ 
its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking
fuck off murrat
FUCK OFF SOME MORE
oooooooh thats a danger face....
lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 
“kill the rich” lmao relatable 
this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 
sleepy bb ~ 
“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy
flashes of joker comin throughhh... 
sneaky baby...
quick on his feet, light on his sense... 
tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)
THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW
he looks good in red
he looks good out of red too 👀👀
that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 
he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine
my love my life 
you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 
do you feel me like i feel you?
ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face
i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?
thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad
thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing
his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????
shitty dad award lmao
not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????
lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion
too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save
c’mon wifi, for me... 
yes
arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭
oh baby its okay, deep breaths.
dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 
the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?
you sweet thing.
i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????
meds are wearing off now.....
darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go
*facepalm*
every time i watch this i hope it turns out different
it never does
arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to
that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file
that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you
but it wasnt enough
you needed love and support and help and guidance 
and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break
the hand puppet omgggg ~ 
i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn
ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading
put it down. 
this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking
ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand
his laughing is so much like sobbing here
omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 
newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??
🤔
we love pathetic fallacy in this house
i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”
my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what
sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect
again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him
hes touching everything to experience it for the first time
he knows shes a daydream
hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms
we all do it
not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 
“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔
ohhh, darling.
istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 
finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me
but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??
poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him
again im not saying its okay im just saying
lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy
the sword forgets but the tree remembers
hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching
that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up
have some compassion dickwad
you never know what someones going through so be kind
always always be kind
^^^ film takeaway right there
if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under
OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂
in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable
that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????
OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD
sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red
“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡
us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂
THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 
the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???
CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS
DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM
THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀
scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 
poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous
could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 
he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore
“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀
“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO
OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES
this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit
do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do
I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE
BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 
LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂
“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 
okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise
loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT
gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious
OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
IM CRYINGGGGGGGG
JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER
I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM
LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD
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MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER
JOKERJOKERJOKER
LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG
lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)
i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀
ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs
happy babyyyy ~ 
dancing  towards what you believe to be your death
so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die
SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 
he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀
so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔
run baby run...
hes so agile and so quick on his feet
thinks fast too
arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop
you’re almost there, my love.
im so so proud of you
SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL
i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 
i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride
ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses
your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 
my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this
i so desperately want to be with you right now
“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY
I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
“mm-hm” i love that little noise
“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE
“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO
fuck ‘em, Joker.
You deserve better
GET
THAT
FUCKING
GUN
AWAY
FROM
YOUR 
FACE
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all that pain in his eyes....
oh, darling. how did no one see you????
his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦
hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself
i love him i love him i love him i love him
smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act
hes never free
spinny baby
you spin me right round...
he suits the stage so well
lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...
never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡
he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....
wanna mess and smear it uuuuup
~
you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked
memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares
ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....
okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is
i just sHIVERED 🥵
“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE
ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭
i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????
“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS
SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU
hes speaking facts
“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN
this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free
but hes not free... not really
“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work
im so fucking proud of you
“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....
LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND
hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????
i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???
he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him
YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE
IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM
UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG
GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE
I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF
ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL
ALIVE
his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺
his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 
“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS
AND SO ARE YOU
OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE
this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 
the birth of joker lmao
be careful with him please hes precious cargo
omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up
lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites
i wanna help Joker to get help and support
i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad
his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved
hes crying and hes in pain
blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts
he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it
my poor clown...... 
CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN
HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY
i wanna make him laugh like that
it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE
i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk
metaphorical or literal blood???
hes accepted who he is now.
hes free
dancing in the white light like an angel
i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
~ THE END ~
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everyoneprotector · 3 years
Text
Quotes 2020 (May to December)
this shitty year has come to a close, you know what that means?
here are the quotes i have complied over the past few months!
A teacher: What are you watching Me: Documentary about pilgrims The teacher, who teaches science: *looses her shit*
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My SOR teacher: Catholics are going to hell, buddists are going to hell, hindus are going to hell because the protestants think that they arent the right flavour
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a teacher: are you doing alright? me: yeah why? the teacher: i think you should see the councillor. me: wait why? the teacher: you look sad me: oh no thats just how i look *hides the sad documentary about fish*
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me: i have upsetti their spaghetti, if you will my twin: jesus christ dude
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“if im the only person in this house having a crisis about how poor unfortunate souls and master of the house sound similar im gonna flip uhuhuhuh my shit!” - Arti, May 7th 2020
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one of the boys: hey miss do you wanna play fortnite with us substitute teacher: no thanks, ive never played and im not going to start now
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my brother: i cant believe a meme named an entire generation me: they were always called boomers, dumbass my brother: what me: baby boomers. thats the name. slut
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me, whispering: do you want to fight god? my twin: no me, still whispering: coward
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a girl: why are you actually working her friend: cause some people need to pay bills. the 1st girl: ill be able to pay the bills her friend: yeah, with the money i give you.
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my twin: you already are insane me: shut up! i fought god and won!
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me: is the horse going to die my mother: no me: *deep sigh* then why-
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my father: be good me: you too my father: no >:(
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me: this is my comfort rabbit, Brick my friend: the name is the opposite to him!
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me: *shows a friend Brick* the friend: fuck it. Worm on a rabbit man the friend: *puts a worm on string on brick*
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“do you want me to make you into a cuck?” - and other things you shouldnt say to teachers
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my 7yr old sister: is your grandad alive dad? my 50yr old dad: nope, my grandma is alive though, shes 95 my 7yr old sister: she’s older than dinosaurs!
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me: jesus took the wheel and sent me straight into the void
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me: hey fix my hunger my twin: no me: i know how you could do it. Murder me. All the cool kids have murder charges now!
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my teacher: okay so we’re on the phone with the insurance my class: *silence* my teacher: okay so dad my class: HI DAD
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“You’re going to wake up tomorrow and not know if your sick because of salmonella or potatos” - Me, 2020
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me: you know what you can do but really shouldnt my twin: mass murder me: i was going to say eating a creme caramel straight out of the packet
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my twin: mi chiamo puta!  me: NO
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me: so thats why Level Of Concern hits different while living in *our home town *, because we're so removed from the rest of not only Australia but the world. Everywhere's getting hit with either second waves of covid or fires or their first wave isnt over, and its just like watching a dumpster be put of fire but also being able to put it out and - my twin, who woke up five minutes ago: 
---
my friend: ill check out the visual art rules me: i bet youre not allowed to bring a spear gun to school my friend: YEAH NO SHIT
---
“I don’t have the emotional capacity for you to make chlorine gas” and other things i shouldn’t say at work
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ayyponine · 3 years
Text
actually in honor of yesterdays rewatch. top ten moments of oh im bout to throw hands w this middle aged woman. 
spoilers obv fr the entire book/series sharp objects, assuming you havent already gathered a thorough knowledge of the events due to me not being able to just shut up abt it
1. porch drink “apology” at the end of calhoun day. mother fucker. camille honestly thought she was about to get some intimate honesty frm her mom and this woman decided to talk abt camille’s inability to trust while carressing her w those fucking nails and goin like oh forgive me.. for you being a cold horrible person even if i never did nothing to cause that and am not to blame sweetie :) swear to god im gonna track my dirty pleb feet all over her ~veranda
2. rose bush conversation. scolding yr daughter like oh youre such a horrible cruel person to be around “you never mean to do anything and yet you cause so much hurt” excUSE ME?? then cutting your OWN hand on the bush and being like ohhh owww LOOK what youve done :’( having yr cuck husband dress yr wounds, skip on yr lunch date w the girls to recover and continue bitching abt it so that the next day even the most random person you barely know will b like ohhh u poor dear howre u doing (abt 45 seconds into this). like shut uP
3. the venomous spiteful RESENTMENT over the curlers/scissor story when that wasnt even them. that didnt even happen to her. thats the story from Ann and her mom. and the way that entire scene ends with the “what, mamma?” “you smell ripe” just bc she saw her w kansas city im gonna start SWINGING
4. she changed camille into the nightgown while she was asleep. revolting. but also putting her in the bath and washing her. what are boundaries when mother is taking care of you :))) you cover up all the time but ill force you to let me see im just >:((( also you dont SEE it per se but ill safely assume she snatched those clothes when camille was undressed at the store, forcing that whole moment. because who the fuck else. fucking instigator and then acting all ö :’/ when that triggers smth i swear to fucking god
5. also while in the bath when camille half delririous wants to talk abt marian and shes just like oh silly *splashes water in her face maliciously. dont be selfish you need to get over that *yanks on her hair HARD like oh shes been finally granted access and all the pent up i hhRHHRG
6. the brief moment where you see her check herself in the mirror before they leave for Natalie’s funeral.  ALL in black w second row seating as if this is HER kid... the pure ”marians back in the hospital... i wore my yellow dress heehee i looked like a pineapple!! the doctor flirted w me despite the wedding ring the nurses are suspicious and jealous of meee ill bake them smth fr next time bleh bleh bleh ha ha” energy this evoked within me like oh youre just eating this all up i bet.....
7. when camille first shows up and shes like oh "the house is not up to par for visitors im afraid”. the awkward stilted like no youre inconveniencing us but sighhh it’s fine type attitude especially when then gayla steps in and without saying a word is already so much more welcoming to camille. im entering with a knife
8. “camille makes me feel like im a bad mom :// “you ARE. and alan then immediately comforts and reassures her im like dude shut up. leave
9. camille phoning curry on calhoun day like "it's just that whenever i'm here i just, um, i just, i feel like a bad person” B R O. with everything that. just, god. we all talk abt the dressing room scene but this phone call that happens just after, as well as the one in ep 7 when shes Realised things and is about to go to the house to str8 up... i am losing my mind. also if i remember correctly this is also more or less when the meaning of “home” shifts frm wind gap to st louis. aka talk of what it’s like to be back home --> do you want to come home so thats. definitely something
10. “you are making your mother ill etc etc ” i know technically thats alan only parroting fr her and she’ll even get stern & disappointed when he doesnt play messenger fr her well enough but seriously fuck that dude
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mikkock · 4 years
Note
Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*
haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!
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all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥
For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!
The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 
BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)
So BASIC PLOT!
Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 
.
So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.
(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)
.
Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)
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(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)
Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  
Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)
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He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.
Mr.LIM (the green guest)
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Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?
Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)
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Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.
Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)
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Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...
Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)
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Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 
Dr.FEN (the pink guest)
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Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 
Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)
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Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...
Mr.GANG (the orange guest)
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Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.
M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)
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Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?
Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)
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Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).
~~~~
Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.
Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 
whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.
also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.
Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)
#doodlin every lad's face at one rly be like 'welcome to the cheekbone festival'#they got antti AND said at once like the cheekbonage is out of this world!#that's musta n gang btw#also every single time i draw cream (blue lad) im like 'i havent drawn u in ages' n it isnt#that i dont draw him much anymore#but that ive drawn only this bitch for months back in the days#him bein in this without his lover....criminal#cuz his boo wouldnt fit a murder mystery au like#hoes would find the corpse he'd just be like 'welp on that imma go to bed aight bye'#anyway u can tell which of my ocs i simp for v easely#like fr#they the ones i spend the longest drawfigfdj cuz i draw em n then go 'not hot enough do it again'#a struggle!#anyway the secret is that i prepares a motive AND an alibi for all of em#so that i can pick who murdered belyy at the last moment <3#its all abt the contextual clues on the scene of crime <3#none of the drama tells u anything its all for the treat of gossip <3#sad part of this project is how much ive planned n written yet i can barely tell anythin if i want to make it#n ive drawn nothingbhd#i hav a dari n a weiwei in their coloured clothes lookin handsome cuz ofc i do#im predictable i have faves#ask if they're in love in this one too take a fuckin guess#u rly think hoe going to his boss's house so much to see the ceo ???? HAH#the real question isnt if theyre smooshin we all kno that answer the question is if dad white suit knows thATs whats important#are yall secret lovers or is green boy climbing the ladder of the company cuz he's smashing the boss's son#who knows#i do i aint telling pay me
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princeleyjeans · 3 years
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A meh (Bday tomorrow)
Tomorrow’s my birthday and while I dread the fact I have to wash my hair later in prep for the big day (Gonna have a lush bath cus we got soooo much in the online sales) something Beck said to me earlier has just, echoed in a weirdly factual and blunt manner.  “I’m sorry you don’t have mum and dad anymore” my reply to this was something around-- --“You mean mum who needed attention on her ALL THE TIME? Naw, glad the cunts dead, she and our pussy of a father”  Like, what got me with the echo was just how honest and plain my feelings were, and still are, toward my birthday being a ‘Meh’ event, as well as my dulling grief for our father and non existent grief for his wife.  My mother was your classic childhood trauma induced bi-polar/autistic who was as needy as she was controlling/narcissistic/pathetic, could easily be violent and then cry when you hit back because how dare you. Like after my autism confirmation we were all like “Oh yeah she had it, spazz, untreated with all that shit from her lot, obvious overloads on the reg, despite that, my ability to sympathize is....low. Incredibly low.  I get it, but at the same time, really don’t fucking care. Sorry boo-boo, my energy meter is on “Protect sister and bathe self once a month” and I’ve broken the stick thingy so like Coco, Forgotten land you go.  ---- It’s sad to imagine someone not missing either of their parents, and in my case, it’s sorta darker because she died when my ass was 11 and the second we knew she was sick, I was the family cheerleader for her upcoming yeet outta the living world, like a kid, lil 11 year old dumpling child, being cool, relieved their mother was dying of some unknown/un-diagnosed illness, Like you read about this shit and wonder how bad is the fam or just how fucked in the head is that child.  But thats where her behavior as a mother had me, and nowdays, I’m more done than angry with her memory.  No, the anger is more aimed at Dad who at first I missed hella bad when he died, but now, I’m like “You bitch ass, pussy. I laughed my way thru a scaffold pole busting up my arm, you couldn’t even stand up to a 5′5 gremlin!” (Why does my anger always sound like Lamar?)  That’s how it is now, I’m painfully (For everyone else) done/dry towards my mother, and just plain angry at my dad who now my ass kinda lowkey hates more than loves anymore because the older I get, the more the good memories get over-shadowed by his inability to emotionally protect his kids, or just protect his kids.  Like I remember my mum being a dick, me stomping on her foot (I was like 8?) and he had a go at me, even after she’d jumped on me and started slapping/getting hysterical. Like I was a lil kid, and while it killed the argument real quick agreeing with her, imagine that shit from my end, she started it, a grown woman, and my ass was getting grilled, and it was always like this, especially on birthdays, it was her feelings, her shit, mums day, like thanks dude, peace.  Like I’ve become more man, than my dad was.  Sure he worked all his life, provided, raised a family, but on the other hand, he lost his shit, he had a breakdown, was a dickhead, at times was straight-up bad as she was (Rarely) and emotionally, was the driest mother fucker.  In retrospect, he was human, wanted a quiet life, knew how to bring down a psycho bitch the only way he knew and just wanted to keep his mind busy because obviously, my dad was on the spectrum to, so as much as I wanna kick his ass, I get it, I can see why he did those things and gave in, but then, at the same time, I am allowed to be mad, and look at those fuck-ups and think how fucked it was, how much we had to deal with, how many birthdays I’ve lost and will lose the feeling for, because of them. Because she couldn’t cope, because he didn’t wanna tell her to get a fucking grip or just stand up and say “You’re being psychotic, fucking stop”.  Maybe it’s a life lesson or some weird plan, like “I parent you enough to come thru this trauma and learn not to be us”, but I’m hella mad, it’s my 26th birthday in a like so many hours, even in lockdown it should be something but my brain is naturally trained to let her have it.  Vowing now: My kids 26th won’t be like this. they’ll have chips, dip, all the prostitutes and all the alcohol as long ass they get drunk at home so I can make sure they’re okay. They deserve it. Even if I don’t 
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bepoets · 3 years
Text
Review for Trish’s Dream Fic
Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.
Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.
Ch1
First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness
The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN
The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god
Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM
The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk
Ugh fuck hans
I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye
~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~
I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD
I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs
Ch2
I’m fucking S A D
ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED
P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY
ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE
ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD
THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!
STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!
ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.
LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS
“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD
“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER
The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD
the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there
U g h hans fuck that guy
A N N A !!!!!!!!
When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked
ALFAFA GERANIUM
ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea
AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough
I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget
“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”
Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him
“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”
ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL
Ch3
My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name
I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 
Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM
Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good
Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know
JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N
Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him
The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god
“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT
the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT
DO ! THE ! MAGIC !
Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD
A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna
Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!
IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!
SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT
ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!
Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart
Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.
They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program
SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!
Ch4
*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????
Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT
They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY
ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit
“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days
ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go
THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius
I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED
listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!
I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT
He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy
Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE
And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE
“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck
LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM
~end review~
Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you
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kyrrahbird · 3 years
Text
Ky’s 琅琊榜 Nirvana in Fire/Lang Ya Bang liveblog experience
EPISODE 2
[prev] | [next]
Time for episode 2!! the one you should really stick around for!! Altho ill be honest, episode 3 is when it really really gets going. this ep is still introducing more major characters LMAO
We left ep 1 finding out about a competition for Nihuangs hand. thank god ep 2 picks up with a discussion about that
The princess is a marquess general rank and has made it on to the Langya martial list
have i mentioned i LOVE HER
unfortunately the emperor is very paranoid
(summary of the whole drama)
and Nihuang is apparently too powerful. hes trying to limit her power with marriage
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HIM
I love this intro. Crunchy knuckles man
Bamf and ominous!!
little did I know!!
They also casually drop that Xie Yu controls the capitol patrol guards
i sure do hope that doesnt become relevant later
I still do not like prince yu. hes trying to control Nihuang :(
Mei Changsu has disappeared!! Right under their noses!!
He’s already delighting me
“Even though Fei Liu has mental insufficiencies, he has a good temperament” I CACKLED
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MY FACE TOO
Great father-figure, just letting hes souped-up superhero kid wander wherever
But thats okay, we now get to see Commander Meng and Fei Liu battle it out
Fei Liu is HORRIFIED that there might be someone he cant beat
All the fight scenes serve multiple purposes too. Xie Yu is Judging™
Commander Meng “I wouldn’t have dared say I could have won within a hundred moves” 
Cut to Xie Yu’s double take 
SOMETHING CLICKED
you used the Su Zhe alias for like 1 day tops and its already nearly useless
It’s solely to confuse first time watchers
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Fei Liu being depressed against a pole im dying
(MCS said he couldnt have beaten Commander Meng)
Im not making a comment about that quote
youre making a comment about that quote
But Xie Bi is onto MCS secret and runs straight to prince yu, while Xie Yu runs straight to the crown prince LMOA
So predictable
“Openly yet discretely took discretely took up residence in my househole”
Yeah it wasnt that discreet 
Also love how Xie Yu goes “yeah no we’re probably gonna have to kill him”
OH
HEY GUESS WHOS FINALLY HERE
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YEAH
THE OTHER MAIN CHARACTER
PRINCE JING. JINGYAN. MY PRINCEEEEE
i love how hes just so,,, fucking blunt
and terse
absolutely no social niceties
Xia Dong just stares off into the middle distance and refuses to acknowledge him
Priceless
“This wouldnt be another big conspiracy case would it?”
THATS SO DANG POINTED
i didnt even know what was going on the first time and i still figured out that was a pointed dig. Xia Dong’s look of outrage is priceless
AND THEN HE JUST FUCKS OFF
So Lin Xie (our mc’s dad) apparently killed Xia Dongs husband and that was part of this whole big Chiyan conspiracy that resulting in the army being massacred and mcs falling off a cliff and not dying
But Prince Jing and Nihuang dont believe it. dun dun dunnnn
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I remember the first time i watched this and i had the thought that this dude is just. dead inside
I was not wrong
His life sucks rn
And his father and brothers are making him stand outside for hours
thank god for gao zhan the eunuch
His dad FORGOT about him
His brothers piss me off soooo much. i can just see his desire to sink into the floor and/or throttle them both and I CONCUR
And here we have Jingyan’s mother!!!
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The real mvp of the show
shes also absolutely gorgeous
And sad that her son didnt visit :((((
Jingrui protecting mcs from his mother and the empress is precious and absolutely breaks my heart
“There’s nothing moral about needlessly placing a friend in a difficult position” AAAAAAA
The thing i loved was that foreshadowing was always evident (through the music and stress and long stares) even if u had no idea what was being foreshadowed 
They’re deliberately late to the fight show so that they dont end up in the boring procession
We (briefly) see Mu Qing who is Nihuang’s lil bro and a Whole Idiot. I love him
But then we get the gr8 scene of the Crown Prince and Prince Yu blatantly jockeying for MCS’s favour
MCS manages to deftly deflect all their gifts
its incredible
Yujin and Jingrui are just looking on like o_o’’’
ooooh no
we’re going to meet the grand dowager empress (the emperors grandmother)
;;A;; IM GONNA CRY
“She is the most peaceful grandmother on earth” oooo my heart
I LOVE THIS bc i was not entirely clear on the family relation here the first time but i still knew EXACTLY what this meant to mcs
THAT MUSIC
she doesnt remember any of them ;;n;;;
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HIS EYEEEES
SHE CALLS HIM XIAO-SHU
AAAAAA
u just know this is important. that this recognition is everything hes lost (his family, his friends, his fiance)
but his great grandmother still recognises him
She remembered his favourite sweet too TAT
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oh no
and MCS grips nihuang’s hand!!!
Jingrui had to remind him to leave
im so sad :((((( 
I feel bad for his great grandmother;;;
And then he goes back to lying
Why you always lyyyyinggggg
Nihuang asking the pertinent questions like “why tf would you come to the capital, where all the politics are, to REST?”
She may have a point
This ep ends with a slave boy being whipped when spills a bucket of water :000
Which means next ep is the MEETING
I said this one would be shorts and it....nearly is. Apparently i have a lot of thots on Every Scene /surprised pikachu face. 
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