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#(can anyone tell I’m replaying the open heart series lol)
smallphoenix13 · 2 years
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I don’t know why open heart tries so hard to turn you against June. Like, she’s a career oriented woman who does everything in her power to keep that career. And she’s good at her job! She knows how to relate to her patients and coworkers, even if that means having to do research on them. She’s sleeping with another doctor who works at a different hospital, so her career isn’t at risk while she does something that she is free to do on her own time. And she leaves edenbrook when it’s about to go under, to make sure that she still has a job lined up when she inevitably gets laid off. Like. I don’t understand what’s wrong with any of this?? She may be a little rude sometimes, but Ethan’s way worse and we’re supposed to worship the guy! We just hate to see a girlboss winning I guess
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lahooozaherr · 10 months
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I Will Always Find You
Chapter 4
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Word Count: 5k
Warnings: angst, fluff, yearning, pining, shooting a blaster with Mando (aaaaaay) vague description of dress on reader (listen, I said it was “traditional Naboo” dress but I don’t know if such thing exists I just love that dress Padme wears by the lake lol but I’m leaving it as vague as I can incase y’all want to imagine something else, I only describe having an open back) (wanted to give Mando some skin, ok), reader runs hand through hair and has strand brushed away but no actual description of hair, Din tries to not have sexy thoughts lol
MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.
My tag list (instructions & requirements)
Summary: You and the Mandalorian spend part of your “hooky” day relaxing in a place special to you. Later, he helps you get ready for the festival. Both of you are full of conflicting emotions as realizations surface and the end of the week looms.
A/N: Welp, this is getting done later than I intended. I recently visited my grandpa who is in the dying process. I had a good weekend with him and my family and tbh I thought I would be writing/reading in my spare time then but it didn’t end up happening, but that’s ok! I was able to come up with more things I wanted to add to it before so I hope everyone enjoys it. I promise we’re getting close to the smut lol I just have story building I gotta do. Also, I realized I already messed up the timeline I was trying to work with so look forward to me fixing that when it becomes more relevant. And by timeline I mean, it def takes more than a week between this and the flashback opening of the first chapter, so I’ll edit that. I’ve also been doing my best to leave reader and some other things as vague as I can but if that starts to sound weird pls tell me, I just want anyone reading to be able to see themselves in this. I also fixed the series master list banner since I kept have nagging feelings about the pictures I originally chose lol.
Song Inspo: Unfair by The Neighborhood
Inspo Playlist
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
Read it on AO3
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Din only really has himself to blame for getting himself in this position, he tells himself.
He was almost immediately mesmerized by you, and he let his heart and not his mind take the reins. That was mistake number one.
He went from experiencing loss, trying (and failing) to cope with that grief, to here. With you. He knows he has to face his feelings, because meeting you has flipped his inner world upside down. 
Every night he leaves you, images of you replay at the forefront of his mind’s eye. At first he’d brushed it off, chalking this up to some playful banter with a bored princess. But then he entertained it, learned more about you, watched you, and found himself enchanted by you. 
Somehow you had made your way through the cracks of his armor. Not exactly his Beskar, but the one he built around his heart. 
He hasn’t slept much tonight, opting to use this time to reflect and at least try to gather himself. He can no longer ignore what you do to him. How the sound of your voice has become music to his ears. How your touch sends electricity throughout his body from your delicate squeezes in the spaces of his arm that are not covered in Beskar. The way your eyes almost always find his own, despite the helm covering.
When he saw you help that lost child, when you opened up to him about your own mourning and conflicted emotions about your position, he almost snapped. Something possessive, or maybe more so protective, wanted to wrap himself around you. Prevent you from having to do this anymore. He could tell you didn’t want this. Maybe you wouldn’t say it, and he couldn’t out loud, but he could feel it.
He doesn’t know what to do with his own life and hasn’t for a really long time. Now, he’s coming to terms with his feelings, and desire, for you. 
But the life he leads isn’t a life for you. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. This life is dangerous…..and lonely. He knows he couldn’t ask you to become his just as much as you can’t, or won’t, abandon your position. It’s easier to accept that answer over the latter.
He’s let this go too far, but he can’t help it. You bring something out in him that he tried to forget he had. It’s like he simultaneously knows he can’t make you his, and that’s he’s too scared to. Which is saying a lot; a Mandalorian afraid? But not just over anything. Over experiencing that kind of love and then losing it. He can’t go through that, on top of the rest, it’s too much. 
Yet Din ignores his instincts and indulges in you. He wishes your affectionate glances were reserved for only him, and no one else. 
Catching you yesterday was almost the final straw, taking every fiber of his being to not rip away the garment bag that separated your bodies. His helmet picked up on the wild thrum of your heartbeat; and maybe he wasn’t certain how you felt but it had to mean something, right? Even if neither of you can say it. 
For now, he will force himself to settle for what he has with you until this job is done. 
—————————————————————————
“Mando?”
Din is wrenched out of his head, coming back to himself. Both of you are on a small boat steered by a droid, him across from you. He must have been lost in his thoughts on the short sail to the area you spoke of. 
You wave a hand across his helmet’s eye-line, “hey, are you in there?”
He cocks his helmet, turning back to you, “where else would I be?”
You let out an amused huff but your eyes search his helmet, concerned but observing. Returning your hand back to your lap, “is something wrong?”
“No, Cyare.”
Your face heats up, looking away quickly thinking he wouldn’t notice. It brings him instant satisfaction, the way he flusters you sometimes. The boat comes to a stop as you stand to gather the basket you brought with you. 
“One of these days, I’m going to find out what those names mean.”
Din carefully stands in the boat, stepping over the side to the dock as it approaches, “you can sure try.”
Although, the thought of you finding out has Din’s face heated, another moment to be thankful for the helmet. 
He steps up onto the dock, connected to the other side of the lake you departed from. An expansive field full of greenery and flowers, surrounded by a forest in the short distance. It was tranquil and private, just like you had described to him. 
“Isn’t it beautiful?” You remark, maneuvering your way out of the boat until his hand drops in front of you, offering help. You stop first, looking up to him to smile before taking it. His strong arm helps lift you out of the boat, effortlessly.
“I would come here to just be alone,” you continued on as you adjusted the basket and yourself. You decided on wearing a simple set of a tunic and leggings for this portion of the day, saying you’ll change later. The combination hugged your body’s curves in a way the dresses didn’t and Din certainly didn’t mind. 
He mentally scolds himself for wandering towards such thoughts. 
He follows you as you trek through the field, heading deeper towards trees that provide shade. Picking a spot, you drop the basket and plop down next to it. Sighing and stretching your legs before settling to lean against a tree, you close your eyes and inhale. Din lowers into the spot next to you, facing the view. 
Several quiet moments pass before you speak up again, “my mother found this place.” This caused Din to look at you, waiting for you to say more. You look into the sky, tightening your lips, not quite smiling and not frowning either.  
“It means a lot to you,” Din states. At this point he could tell how sentimental certain things were to you, he has very few things like that for himself. 
“It’s special to me, there’s a lot of good memories here. Time spent with her, many books….the first place I learned how to shoot a blaster.”
Din snorts before he realizes he’s even done it, you smile, raising an eyebrow at him. 
“You? You can shoot a blaster?” He teases, emphasizing the first ‘you’.
“Are you underestimating me, Mandalorian?” Batting your lashes at Din. He can hear his heartbeat in his helmet while trying to conjure an image of you, aiming a blaster in hand.
“No….” He trails off. Your eyes trained on him with a determined expression. “I just don’t expect a princess to know how to shoot.”
“Well Mando, it looks like there’s even more for you to discover about me.”
“Alright, prove it,” he shifts to stand. He offers his hand again and you take it, firmly. When you completely stand, you're closer than he had originally intended and he can feel the tense air between you. He brushes a thumb across your knuckles before letting go. 
You give him a sly grin while motioning your hand towards him, “alright, hand it over.”
“Hold on, let’s find a better spot.”
The two of you don’t stray too far, walking into the small forest behind the tree you were previously leaned up against. Din stops and points to a different tree just a few feet away, “hit the middle of that one.”
Usually, Din wouldn’t be so keen as to just hand anyone his weapons. But, you weren’t just anyone, were you? He sets the blaster in your hand, switching off the safety. 
“Thank you,” you mutter, situating the blaster in your dominant hand, with the other coming up to steady it. 
Raising your shoulders, you assume your stance and level the blaster for aiming. He watches from behind, arms folded and observant. So far he could say you’re doing everything you’re supposed to and is already impressed, not that that shows. 
Taking a deep breath through your mouth and out your nose, your supporting hand drops and your finger twitches on the trigger. In a split second, the blaster fire perfectly hits the middle of the tree. Lowering the blaster, you let out a “Hah!” You puff your chest with pride, looking back at Din for his reaction. 
If Din didn't think he was in trouble before, he definitely is now. He hadn’t realized just how attracted he would be to a trait like that in YOU, and suddenly the armor is too hot for him.
He almost can’t bring himself to say anything in response, it feels like his heart jumped into his throat. A self-satisfied look on your face as you set your other hand on your hip, “you seem…speechless? Hard to tell.”
You were right, and that was saying a lot for Din, considering he’s not much with words to begin with. He quietly clears his throat and reaches to take the blaster from your outstretched arm, “Count me impressed.”
You beamed, but this time it’s shy as you try to look away from him as he takes the blaster. He’d tell you that was cute if that wasn’t so out-of-character for him. 
“What made you take this up?” Din asks as you return to your spot on the grass. 
“Father said ‘pick a form of self defense’ and that was my choice,” you mimic your father’s voice and shrug. “I just happened to hit it off with blasters, and now I prefer them.” 
“But have you ever actually had to use one?”
“No. I guess, fortunately?”
A silence falls, you fidget with your hands as he settles next to you, once again. 
“I know that part isn’t impressive,” you add, dejectedly.
“It’s not bad. I’m glad you haven’t had to yet,” Din then turns his head towards you. “Any more surprises?”
Your lips curl at the edges, biting your lip and stifling a giggle, “for now.” You wink at him and turn to dig through the basket you brought with, setting out various fruits. 
Din’s eyes focus on the food but says nothing. 
“Don’t worry,” you assure him, while taking a bite out of one you’d chosen. “It’s just in case you want it. I felt rude not at least trying, I can give you privacy if needed.”
Din mulls the thought in his head for minutes, considering the setting. He feels a twinge in his stomach, anxiety coming up as he shoves it back down. He’s grateful for how understanding you are when it comes to his boundaries. He hasn’t been given a lot of that when it comes to his helmet and his creed. The galaxy so far has insistently been against him when it comes to those. 
“I appreciate it,” he says. 
—————————————————————————
You choose for today, and just today, you’ll pretend. Pretend your obligations don’t exist, that you’re not a princess. That you’re just you, someone capable of being so much more than what she’s just been slated in life. Capable of being more with Mando. 
That’s when the realization finally sets in, just how deeply you’ve found yourself in love with him. You realize it’s only been several days since you’ve met him, you haven’t even seen his face! But that didn’t matter to you, you have never felt so drawn to and comfortable with someone before in your life. 
You also can’t say you didn’t let it happen, and it’s tragic almost. It didn’t help that the two of you had almost immediately fell into a rhythm together. Two stars in sync with each other’s gravitational pull, becoming a careful dance.
You can’t be with him, and he can’t be with you. But that’s assuming he feels the same way, and that you’re not really sure of. It might be better to not know. You can’t abandon your life, and he shouldn’t have to worry about you.
It hurts immensely. 
“Here, I’ll do this,” you say, shifting your body to sit back to back with him. “I can’t see you this way, and I won’t look.” 
Mando says nothing at first, visor trained on the spread you’d set out. His lack of response causes you to feel insecure. 
“I’m sorry, maybe that’s too much-“
“No. You’re fine. It works.”
You give him a small nod before turning back to face away from him. You focus your eyes on anything else; trees, hills, the sky. You hear a hiss escape from where you feel him shift to lift his helmet and your heart stops. How would it be to see that face? But you would never betray that trust he’s just displayed. 
Mando doesn’t completely remove the helmet, just lifting it enough to take bites of the fruit you’ve laid out. Fair enough, though. Whatever works for him and makes him feel most comfortable is more important to you. 
Moment’s of peaceful silence pass as you take in the sounds and scenery around you while partaking in some of the fruit you snagged. Beautiful, lush green forest and fields, a clear and beautiful sky, the silent chewing from your armored companion. You wish you could live in this moment forever.
Reality finds ways to drift back into your thoughts though, always somewhat present and hard to escape. You let out a quiet sigh, leaning your back against his. You feel him tense up, subtly. But before you can think twice about it, he relaxes back into it, giving you a small amount of physical contact. You’re relieved he allows you this.
‘I’m glad we did this,” you break the silence. “I needed a break, as brief as it may be.”
“Thank you for including me,” he says in his unfiltered voice, helmet still lifted. Your heart in your chest speeds up from hearing it. As much as you love his voice with the modulator, the actual, naked sound is music to your ears. His voice is still low but with a rich timbre. 
Worrying your bottom lip, you lean your head back onto his shoulder. He allows for that as well, maybe indulging you. It’s comforting, but also sad. 
“There’s a chance I could not become a senator, like my father.”
Mando stills, “Is that so?”
“Sort of,” you begin to explain. “We still have democratic elections. There’s a possibility of me not being elected.”
Mando gives a low hum, “What would you do then?”
A million ideas including him run through your mind at that question, but you don’t say. “Technically I’d still be serving in some capacity, it’s how our family has always worked.” Part of you had hoped he'd have something to offer, more to say to that.
It’s quiet again, this time more somber. You’d been thinking about this detail for a while, and it still felt like no way out, and you feel ashamed for even trying to look for one. Mando doesn’t respond yet, replacing his helmet to its normal position. 
You sit up and turn back to him, looking into his visor. Helmet already trained on you. 
“Thank you,” he all but whispers, barely picked up by the modulator. You give him a gentle smile in response, “Of course.”
After the afternoon had worn on some more, and some comfortable quiet moments had passed as the two of you relaxed together, you signaled it was time to go. 
Your heart tightens in your chest at the thought of every minute passing, becoming less and less time with him. You’ve tried hard to not focus on that, nor show that emotion. You want to enjoy the time you have left.
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You and Din return to your suite at the palace, stopping just before the door. He assumes his regular place in front, waiting to watch you disappear inside for the time being. 
But you don’t go inside, you stop just at the threshold. You stop in your tracks, seemingly contemplating something. You turn back to him, avoiding his gaze but also not as you start to run a hand through your hair. 
“You can come in to wait for me…..if you want.” 
It’s silent again, but tense. Din can feel his heart in his throat now, mouth dry as he tries to swallow it back down. His resolve crumbles enough for him to step forward, towards you. In his usual fashion, saying nothing, he strides past you into your living space. You step to the side to allow him in and he nods to you on the way. 
Upon entering your temporary living space, he takes in the details of proof that you’ve been there. One side of the room is a luxurious, wide bed with accompanying side tables, a couch sits at the end of the bed. Across the room from there is a table with books, a rack of clothing, a vanity and dressing screen for your privacy. 
“The couch is probably the most comfortable,” you mention as you saunter past him. “Make yourself at home.”
Din does so, looking out-of-place as he cautiously sits in the middle of the soft couch. Posture straight and gaited, he looks as stiff as he feels. He is painfully aware of the effect of the whole situation on the inside of his flight suit. It’s not that he’s uncomfortable, he just never expected to be in such a private setting with you.
It’s been too long since he’s felt this kind of need and genuine desire, and that also scares him. He feels like a doomed man, mentally cursing to himself that if only you had met under different circumstances. 
You press a button on a panel on the wall near the dressing screen and all lighting in the room fades to a softer, yellow hue. You step behind the screen, bending to start removing your shoes. 
Din has to suppress the almost audible gulping sound that leaves him when he realizes he can see your silhouette through the dressing screen. He doesn’t know if you know he can see you like this and is too stunned to even say. 
“I’m happy we happen to be here right as this festival is happening,” you state. “I haven’t been to it since I was a teenager.”
He watches your shadow begin to undress, slowly peeling off your layers one by one until you’re in your underwear. Your hands move to undo the clasp on your chest band, causing an audible ‘snap’ noise. You move sideways, emphasizing a perfect outline of your front and back. He imagines your breasts must be as soft and enticing from their outline in the shadow. 
He feels a twitch in his flight suit pants then immediately seeks to contain that by resting his ankle on his knee, bouncing it repetitively to keep himself ‘busy’. He almost jumps out of his skin as you walk to the edge of the screen, only to stop just before the end and reach your hand and naked arm to the rack where the garment bag you picked up yesterday hung, plucking it.
It’s certainly not out of place for him to have nothing to say, because at the moment he can’t even muster a word. He’s way too distracted now and hopes you’re not looking for a response.
You maneuver yourself into the dress, swaying your hips side to side to slide the fabric over your body. Din unconsciously flexes his hands, imagining how those hips would feel beneath them. 
When you finish fitting the dress onto yourself, you emerge from behind the screen. When you notice him, your expression is curious and he fears he’s been caught until you ask, “are you ok?”
Din crosses his arms and stands abruptly, guarding the subtle expressions of his body language as much as he can. Give offers a curt, “Yes.” He immediately notices how flattering the dress is on you, laying perfectly with your back being the most exposed. 
You narrow your eyes at him briefly and turn to seat yourself at your vanity. Din takes the opportunity to roam the small space, observing the table of books and reading material from the event that had been unceremoniously placed there. 
You adjust yourself in the mirror of your vanity, fixing your hair. You look back at yourself with a determined look, twisting your arms to place your hair where you need it. Din watches your meticulous routine from behind, eyes flitting between your actions and yourself in the mirror. You can see him in the reflection as you work. 
“It won't be too long, but it’s a process,” you murmur, moving to grab various pieces of makeup to apply. 
Din can barely manage to offer any words as he imagines what it would be like to casually approach you, placing reverent kisses on the back of your neck and shoulders. 
“Don’t worry about me,” he finally says. 
You shoot him a questioning look where you see him in the reflection of the mirror, “are you sure you’re alright?”
Din forces himself to visibly relax, it’s uncanny how well you’ve been able to pick up on his mannerisms since you’ve met, “everything is good with me.” He feels like he sounds unconvincing and your lingering eyes in the mirror don’t help. You shrug and return to your tasks.
That companionable silence has returned as Din watches you apply your makeup, you mutter to yourself absentmindedly here and there as you move to each next piece. Some time passes before you set down your items and pat your lap, giving yourself a last look over in the mirror before standing. 
The way you look takes his breath away. He was almost shocked when he first saw how casual you’d chosen to be today but loved it all the same. He loved seeing another side of you and right now is no exception either. He felt domestic just from being allowed to watch you put yourself together. 
He wants to take you apart. 
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“Well?” You query Mando as you turn side to side to get a good look over yourself in the mirror. “Do I look alright?”
He’s paused then steps closer behind you, looming over your shoulder at your reflection, you look at him. You feel your heart rate quicken under what feels like his eyes raking over you. It takes everything in you to resist the urge to turn into him and wrap your arms around his neck.
“Beautiful,” he offers the one-worded response, but that's all that needs to be said. 
You turn to him, smiling, staving off a heat that threatens to take over your cheeks, “thank you.” He cocks his helm to the side in response. 
You stride past him, noticing his helmet visibly follow. You sway your hips ever so slightly as his visor scans you up and down. Getting closer to your door, you look back and flash him a grin and gesture with a nod, “I saw that.”
“No you didn’t,” he throws back at you, sarcastically. You snicker in response, “Come on, shiny man.”
Mando stalks towards you and stifles a chuckle, “I get a nickname too?”
“I tried, not sure how I feel about that one.”
“Not as fun as mine, mesh’la.”
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The festival is bustling, vendors sell their wares and trinkets while others offer delicious and exotic street foods. There are large displays of flowers and accompanying decorations across the town and performers scattered entertaining the masses. 
You point out these things to Mando as you stroll through, your hand back in its place in the crook of his elbow. He doesn’t have much to say but you know he’s invested in your excitement and what you say. 
Here and there you'd explain the meaning behind certain displays and performances to educate him. You figure you can do the same for him as he’s done for you when he’d allowed you to poke at him about Mandalorian customs. You’d share similar traditions from your own planet and how they coincide with each other. 
You tried your best to be in the present and stop worrying about tomorrow, when you’ll inevitably have to say goodbye to the Mandalorian. You’re going to miss the camaraderie the two of you had unknowingly built together in the short amount of days. You’ve never found someone so in sync with you. 
Regardless if he has similar feelings, it’s heartbreaking all the same. It’s too scary at this point to ask. If you’ve learned anything about him this past week, it’s that his actions speak louder than his words. Although it seems he reserves many of those words and actions just for you. A self-indulgent thought you keep tucked in your heart. 
Day slowly turns into night, the sun giving way to a beautiful, pink setting in the sky. You finish up a snack you’d bought earlier as you nod at Mando, “fireworks should be soon, we should find a good spot.”
“Fireworks, huh? They really go all-out here.”
“It’s Naboo,” you laugh. “What do you expect?” 
“Do you have a spot for that too?”
You scoff in response, “of course I do.”
And that you did. It’s a bold move, but you offer him your hand, “follow me.” He takes your smaller hand in his gloved one, and it feels warm. Safe. 
You lead him along, navigating through other festival-goers until you find yourself in front of part of the forest that lines the city. He doesn’t question it though, and you bring yourselves to a small path in. When you’ve arrived, you’re at a small clearing on the side of the larger lake the show will display over. 
“I never doubted you,” he proclaims. You feel like you can ‘hear’ a smile in his tone. You turn your nose up with a ‘hmm!’. You hear a faint chuckle that barely escapes his helmet’s modulator. 
The sun is finally set, giving way to a beautiful, clear night sky. You take in a deep breath of air and admire it, smiling to yourself. You look down and notice he’s still holding your hand. You don’t say anything or move it, for fear of ending the small contact. He doesn’t try to break it up either. 
One by one, lights lift into the sky and explode. The fireworks are bright and loud and your spot is the perfect and more private place to view them. You instantly become entranced in them, their reflections flash in your eyes.
You suddenly feel a familiar shift in energy, one that you’ve been feeling all week. From the times you feel his eyes on you for long periods of time. Sometimes even when his helmet isn’t exactly pointed towards you. A feeling almost hard to explain, you just know. But you don’t turn to face him just yet, preening under what feels like his warm gaze, while you can. These last few moments are difficult to approach, no matter how hard you shove back the emotions.  
What will it be like after tomorrow? Will you feel a hole in your chest? A part of your heart that knows and wishes to know him that will forever be empty? Will you always spend the rest of your life asking “what if”?
You finally turn to him and he does the same. But there are no words. You’re both silent, save for the sounds of fireworks in the background. You look into his visor and admire the reflection of the bright, colorful explosions that play out on his helmet. It’s beautiful. 
A tension builds between you, again. But what could be said? It’s too painful to say out loud. You’ll have to speak through your actions, just as he does. 
You slowly lift the hand you’re still holding, cautiously bringing it to place over your chest where your heart pounds. You fear it might be too much when his hand stills, but then relaxes in place underneath yours. You just want him to feel your heartbeat, and he acquiesces. 
But he surprises you again, after a moment passes, holding his hand over your heart. He brings his other hand up to remove his glove, carefully plucking from his fore and middle finger, sliding it off then placing it in his pocket. 
With his now bare hand, he gently tucks a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. Instead of bringing his hand back, he caresses the side of your face. You can feel him hesitate at first, hovering slightly above your cheek, seeking silent permission. You oblige by nuzzling into his palm, relishing the feeling of his bare skin on yours.
The setting is calm but the storm in your chest is otherwise and you wish you could remain like this. Tomorrow is coming too soon, it’s too much. But you know, and he knows. 
When the show ends, the two of you remain that way for a short while after. You can’t bring yourself to end it any sooner but after some time, you decide to rip off the bandaid. When you slightly move from his hand, he returns it to himself but without putting the glove back on. 
When you return to your room, after a solemn and quiet walk back, you swear you can still feel the warmth of his skin on yours. It’s all he can give right now and you’ll hold it dear to you. 
—————————————————————————
Settling down for the night, you walk around the room to fade the lights back to the yellow hue. You sit on the couch as you read the last of a book you’ve had your nose in for the last hour. You glance up, down, then quickly back up again when you notice the silhouetted shape of something from behind your dressing screen. 
Hurriedly putting the book down, you set for the screen to investigate. Behind it is the pile of clothes and one of your suitcases that had made up the shape. You realize, to your mortification, that anything behind casts a shadow than can be seen.
That means. That earlier. That he could. He could see- Oh MAKER. 
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Mando'a Translated:
Mesh'la = Beautiful
Cyare = Sweetheart
@dindjarinsmut @impala1967666 @kittenlittle24 @angel-with-a-heart @leithatnight @i-usually-main-bards-tho @dins-riduur-anthe @fatima-marisa @lalalalemonade11 @n7cje
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Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You
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A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THE TEXT BELOW BEFORE PROCEEDING THANK YOU :))
HERE IS A TIMELINE /  EXPLANATION / BACKGROUND INFORMATION BECAUSE CASE THE TIME SKIPS OF THIS STORY ARE CONFUSING: I’m sorry for that everyone, I know the dates are sloppy and as a whole this fic doesn’t make too much sense; I tried to edit this piece as best I could to make the story as easy to follow as possible, but seeing as I can’t unpublish part 1 or 2, the cleanup still leaves things bit unclear. These imagines were originally chapters of a longer Levi x Reader fic that I decided to discontinue, which is why there are so many loose ends. Here was my original intention for this story, broken down for the few who choose to read the Author’s Notes lol.
We are going to do this in the order of the 3 part fic (I also put attached all the links to the titles)
Part 1: Imagine Relating to Mikasa About Loving Someone in the Military
The scene is set during the events of SEASON 1 of Attack on Titan, BEFORE the Female Titan Arc. (Y/N) was also hand selected by Levi to be part of the original Special Operation Squad; she bit her hand at the dinner table along with Petra, Gunther, Eld, and Oluo to show their dedication and understanding towards Eren wayyy back in the beginning of the series. The Survey Corps is making preparations for their first attempt to go to Shiganshina since the Fall of Wall Maria and not only uncover the mole who killed captive titans Sonny and Bean, but also to get to Eren’s basement.
Part 2: To Love Another
The flashback and opening scene in the beginning of this writing piece (where (Y/N) and Hange are talking to each other) occurs shortly after (Y/N) wakes up in the infirmary room, before anyone breaks the news that she, aside from an injured Levi, is the last surviving member of Squad Levi after Annie killed the others in the Forest of Giant Trees in her female titan form. Hange’s intentions were to bring the (Y/N) and Levi together so they would be able to support each other during this mutual loss. But alas, (Y/N) accepts his rejection and the two suffer the aftermath of this tragic news alone. To read this arc for context/bonus content to get a better understanding of this mini series, see my posts (as a sort of prequel, if you will) Imagine Levi Finding you Injured on an Expedition and Imagine Being the Last Member of Squad Levi To Survive to fill that time gap :)
In real-time, all of Season 2 and Season 3 Part 1 have gone by with limited interaction between (Y/N) and Levi. This part of the story is occurring during Season 3 PART 2, (spoilers) after the Coup D'etat, and after Historia becomes Queen. (Y/N) is no longer an active soldier, having sustained injuries too severe to be reliable in combat. She remains useful to the Corps as a battle strategist, however, which allows her to stay. The Scouting Regiment is currently preparing to go to Eren’s basement in their second attempt, knowing Reiner and Berthold will be waiting for them there.
Part 3: Imagine Levi Confessing his Love for You (YOU ARE HERE)
This part takes place pretty much a week or so after the events of “To Love Another.” It is revealed how much (Y/N) has isolated herself in the months between Parts 1 and 2 from not only Levi, but Hange, the only one besides Mikasa who knew about her feelings for Levi prior to their falling out. (Y/N) confesses her feelings for Levi before the mission to Shiganshina in Season one, and the fic parallels itself and comes full circle once their final interaction occurs before the second and final mission to Shiganshina, for which, (Y/N) is unable to go for her death would be almost certain. She seen to be more valuable inside the walls, where she can carry on the duties of the Survey Corps should the entire regiment collapse during the mission. This is the final part :)
I HOPE THAT CLEARS THINGS UP!
requested by @a-single-uwo @dracq and @little-diva-gurl and a lovely anon who def isn’t the happiest that this took so long. Deepest apologies! Hope this was worth the wait. I also hope this post finds everyone safe and in good health during these crazy times <3
~~~~~
Dread bottled up in the bottom of your stomach, which threatened to fall down to your knees. Even Hange’s eyes brimmed with concern when she informed you that Levi requested your presence in his office; all of which was out of the blue, uncharacteristic, after months of him being accustomed to giving you your space.
Feigning annoyance, you stared at the soldier dummy two paces ahead, dented heavily with the marks of your punches. The sun was beating down on the early autumn day, and heat waves rose from the ground. It illuminated the glistening perspiration sliding down your figure, torso rising and falling in short breaths of exhaustion.
Hange watched you carefully from a distance. She noticed your tense muscles, clad in a sports bra and boxing shorts; the lack of attire made it impossible to hide the sudden tension and stiffness embedded in your lean muscles, a tell tale sign of distress. As a creature of observation and analytics, the Squad Leader could sense your discomfort as if it was written across your forehead.
The brunette watched you wipe the sweat off your forehead and yell in frustration, turning towards her direction and moving to land a kick at her head.
Unfazed and in possession of sharp reflexes, Hange took a step back, only to watch as you twisted mid-air and landed a 360 Crescent kick to the dummy-shaped bag, which broke open on impact under the force of the blow. Sand poured out of its opening and spilled onto the ground in a steady stream that grew less heavy as the seconds passed.
“I’ll have to admit, you are getting better, but (Y/N), don’t get your hopes up,” Hange cautioned. “The problem does not reside in your muscles. No matter how well you learn to fight like you used to, Annie crushed your ribs and threw you to the ground: it's your lungs that will never recover. You can’t come with us to Shiganshina tomorrow like this.”
Hunched over with hands on your knees, you regained a regular breathing pattern and began to feel the explosive pain in your chest. Airways blocked, you began coughing, willing the oxygen to enter your body.
“Let me humor myself, Hange-san. If I don’t try, I might go insane.”
It was almost tragic that such a young soldier was out of commission; you were full of promise, rivalling Mikasa in skill. Hange knew you were itching to do what you trained for your whole life: Coming to Shiganshina and putting it all on the line had always been your number one goal. You didn’t want to be left behind again, to die bitter and alone without the only people you cared about.
“Regardless, (Y/N), you’re stalling,” Hange smoothly shifted the topic of conversation back to what brought her to you in the first place. “He still has that power over you, huh?”
"It'll pass eventually," you sighed, hoping the words were true.
You bowed towards the tall female. She smiled in return, shaking her head softly.
Whilst pacing away, said person stopped you once more.
“(Y/N). For what it’s worth, I stand by what I said before. Don’t look so nervous, okay?”
Her words replayed in your head, a haunting ghost of the not-so-long ago past. Time was strange, that way. It seemed like everything happened yesterday yet in another lifetime, all at once. “He loves you, more than he’s ever loved anyone. Surely you know that.”
Stupid, you thought, how I might have believed it once.
As you made your way down the hall, numbness crept into your body once again. You were too proud to admit you were afraid, especially with the Section Commander’s radiating sympathy, but everyone knew the once friendly dynamic between you and the Captain transformed into one more distant and cold. With each step towards the door, you felt the icy chill grow and that fact alone shook you to the core. 
But it didn’t matter, seeing as Levi was of superior authority. There was no way around it.
Your hand shook as it raised to knock.
~~~~~~
“Name and business,” Levi spoke, voice muffled by the closed door.
“It’s (Y/N), sir. I was hoping to speak with you.”
There was a pause, and in that time you considered the option of fleeing back to your room and retreating back to a life of emotional safety, normality. It wasn’t too late to forget.
It had been a week since you spoke to Mikasa on the rooftop, after realizing the deep shit your heart decided to put you in. You didn’t think Levi would notice the distracted nature of your behavior-- tried to make it as subtle as possible whilst you figured out what you felt for him. 
But before you could explore other options, Levi muttered a stern “enter.” You knew with the first expedition back to Shiganshina tomorrow, and the prospect of death closer than it has ever been on a mission, it was now or never. 
The room was dim, small, warm, and thick with building tension. Shadows danced across the Captain’s face, sharp features lit by an orange flame. Only candlelight, sourced at his desk, assisted your adjusting eyes. 
Your nose was hit with the smell of tea and cleaning products upon entry. This fact made you smile despite your bundling nervous energy. It was a familiar place, filled with memories of late night conversations (granted, of mostly you speaking and him listening), witnessed only by the large piles of paperwork. It started here and resulted in a natural, growing fondness kept secret to all except you two and the moon looking in from the window. 
This man was your squad leader, your commander, your trusted comrade. There was no need to be afraid-- Not unless of course, you held the potential to shatter such damn a delicate relationship.
And you did. 
Was it worth it?
Your gaze gravitated towards the center of the room where the Lance Corporal sat. And in that instant, your smile evaporated instantly. He placed his pen down, gracefully resting his cheek on his fist and lazily tossing the raven locks out of his eyes-- they landed on you, piercing yet drowsy and indifferent upon first glance. He was beautiful, as always. The allure was nearly sickening; unfair to the rest of the world.
Looking closer, however, he was anything but relaxed. The observant eye could see his countenance stirred something different. He seemed sharp and focused, ready to dart out and wrap himself around your heart, squeezing tighter with every breath you took. And you felt it-- the heart palpitations, which got worse at the sight of him.
He seemed… different. Dangerous, like a storm stirring in the distance, and the inevitable downpour that comes with it. The dark circles under his eyes told tales about the insomnia; a fresh cup of caffeinated black tea even rested on his left, steam rising out of it. And whilst attraction was undeniable, your concern always came first.
Levi was never quite good at getting proper rest before a mission.
“(Y/N),” The word was breathy, yet his voice was rough.
You shuffled in your spot, your name on his tongue making your stomach churn with desire.
Levi seemed to pick up on your affliction, getting out of his chair and gliding towards you. Everything happened fast and slow all at once, starting off with a momentaneous rush of air and  the collision of your back with the office wall. A small shriek filled the air, out of place against the silence; was that your voice? The pain should’ve been there, but it wasn’t.
Then the seconds dragged out. Levi was a new person, setting your skin aflame as he gripped your wrists and pinned them against the wall. His lips brushed your eartips, which turned red the instant the raven’s breath fanned over them. This normally reserved, disciplined man unleashed something you had never seen before.
“Finally ready to talk to me about why you’ve been acting so strange, brat?” he whispered.  
This wasn’t supposed to be so dirty. He was angry, but the mood was established in layers: something more sinister existed beneath.
The scent of fresh pine filled your nostrils until your brain went foggy. Levi was close--so close, and with the fact that you’ve been avoiding him mixed in with the fact that you missed him for it, all bets were off: there was no stopping the words that came out of your mouth next.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” you whispered back, looking him dead in the eyes, no fear this time.
His grip on your wrist slackened.
“Hm?”
You took in a deep breath, ready to leave it all on the line, and spoke.
“I like you a lot, sir. And not in a comradery type of way. I-I just thought I’d tell you before, you know, we leave tomorrow.” Your gaze found the floor again, too timid for your own good. But the statement was said, and it was finite; there was no turning away from it.
The Captain’s eyes went wide and gleamed brightly at you. His chest felt lighter and as he looked down at you in speechless awe, staring at anything but his face in your adorable embarrassment, he realized exactly why your absent look irked him those days ago. Why your lack of enthusiasm and lighthearted-ness gave him a strange sense of frustration. 
Levi never felt more awake, more hyper aware of his surroundings. 
The feeling of your chest pressed against him, the heat of those rosy cheeks, the pounding within his ribcage, the moon hitting your pretty face. With your figure in his arms, after the blissful seconds passed, everything felt, for once, okay.
Until it wasn’t.
Gaining the courage to look back up at him, you all but tore apart at the scowl on his face as demons flitted through his beautiful brain and polluted the image of happiness. Levi grew more indignant by the second, all but throwing your arms he held back at your sides like they were poison to the touch. 
Tears pooled in your eyes as the soft expression you didn’t get to see turned sour, disgusted-- the Captain’s lips curling into a snarl as he imagined what he could lose if he opened up his heart for this girl in front of him to take. The risk and pain of falling for someone, in the world the two of you lived in. And all the stoic man could think was how he allowed this charade to come so far.
No, he wouldn't allow it.
“Get out, (L/N)” he commanded, harsh and unforgiving.
You were trembling, body feeling detached from reality as it moved, convincing itself that it was simply a nightmare. Levi’s cruel demeanor all but shattered you as you looked wide-eyed and his anger grew, the short man pacing behind his desk and bringing a hand over his face. His free one crumpled into a fist, knuckles turning white as he slammed it on the wood, the loud bang making you jump; the fear, grief, confusion coming all at once until it choked you and your vision spotted black.
“I said GET OUT!”
The room stilled and Levi looked up to face you cowering near the door, a single tear rolling down your cheek. He stilled at the sight, the weight of his words dawning upon him.  
“I-I’m sorry,” you gasped before racing out of the room.
Had you looked back, you would’ve seen Levi’s outstretched hand betraying his body, desperately reaching out for you, gray eyes filled with pain.
But you knew now you’d never be dumb enough to spare him that second glance-- and maybe that was the right call, seeing as his feet moved in the direction you left, only to shut the door left askew in your wake.  
~~~
The Captain’s gaze was on you more than necessary, but it was clear the two of you had the same thought: You focused everything into this discussion, melting into the emotionally-detached soldier your duty commanded, just like Levi did. His words had no ulterior motive, no deeper meaning. They were monotonous and empty.
Or so you thought.
Levi stood up the second you came in, but your gaze fell to the ground in submission.
“Hange said you needed to see me, Captain?” your voice was small and weak; you kicked yourself for it. How pathetic.
“Damn you...”
The man said nothing more, brushing his fingers along your cheekbones and you everything hit you like whiplash, the memories. Levi ran them along your face, down to your chin to lift it gently, so that for once you’d let your eyes meet instead of looking at the ground like a coward.
When they did the man’s breath hitched in his throat, because although your (eye color) orbs were no longer as vibrant, they were still beautiful and entrancing; why hadn’t he ever appreciated them before? 
"I missed you, brat," he spoke firmly.
You felt a churn in your abdomen as you watched his eyes study the details of your face and take in every feature, committing it to memory painfully slow. You were paralyzed, his face inches away from yours and forcing buried emotions to resurface as months of restraint came undone. He didn’t speak, holding you delicately after not being this close for far too long and discerning what he’s been missing.  
“Um, Captain? What are you...?"
You bit your lip, feeling puzzled and confused as you remembered the hate in Levi's orbs the last time you saw him like this.
All you could see now was how quickly his emotions shifted from serenity to fury that fateful night, and as you recollected the way Levi lashed out, all chaos and fury, he retracted his hand.
And you flinched away.
The Captain froze.
“Don’t-- don’t fucking do that,” he growled, his urgency startling. “I would never hurt you, (Y/N).”
Your eyebrows furrowed, all inhibition thrown out the window the second Levi’s countenance flashed with hurt at your response to his touch. You let your fear go and emotions free at the irony of the raven’s statement. Your mind went into overdrive, recounting every instance you wanted to give up and leave, drown in yourself, give up on finding purpose in the aftermath of rejection and Squad Levi’s death and your permanent injury changing your way of life. Things you faced alone, because instead of rekindling any semblance of a relationship, Levi tossed everything away and berated you for feeling.
The man who resided here cut your heart expertisely like the countless swords he wielded then disposed. He did not have the right to look at you so kindly; did not have to right to fan the flames of false hope. But here he was, procrastinating until the very last day to take initiative regarding those actions.
“Why are you doing this?” you whispered, forgetting your composure.
“I’d advise you not to speak in riddles,” Levi spoke in a low and even voice, no real malice as he addressed you and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
You took a deep breath and fought to remain calm, grabbing Levi's wrist to keep him from touching you.
“Please don’t toy with me, or mock my feelings like this. Why did you call me here? You made it plenty clear how you feel about me, Levi. What else is there to say?" you begged, the lack of closure driving you insane.
This was the first time you used his name, an unprecedented amount of spite and pain expressed through it, because you wanted Levi to remember this moment. It was over: that time of feeling sorry and ashamed of yourself for being nothing other than human. The remorse was gone, and the heartache was fleeting.
“Tell me, dammit!”
His was overflowing.
“You want to know how I really feel about you, (Y/N)!?” the Captain shouted, voice rising because for a man who relied on impulse and action on the battlefield it was fucking frustrating, watching the woman in front of him live this way for the simple reason that he was not good with words. "The thoughts that go through my head when you can't even bear to look at me?!"
"No, that's not what I asked. I already know that you don't--"
"--Fuck this."
Relying on instinct to guide him, Levi leaned forward and kissed you.
The second his lips met yours, you melted on the spot, knees giving out beneath you. Tongue sliding into your mouth, Levi simultaneously lifted you into the air, feeling lightheaded as you moaned into him, eagerly returning the kiss. His hands were everywhere, grasping at your waist, clutching the back of your head, running down your thighs. You were in such a state of euphoria that nothing else existed.
Your own digits threaded through Levi’s raven locks and pulled needily, emitting a growl from his throat as he bit down on your lower lip. He reveled in the feeling of your legs around his waist as your soft lips worked against his own, hungry and relentless. The kiss was passionate and you’d imagined it a million times over, but this-- Levi successfully ruined you for any other man.
The need for oxygen pulled you apart, Levi’s strong arms keeping you in the air as his eyes remained shut; he pecked your lips once, then twice, savoring the moment until it mournfully passed.
He was hesitant to break the silence, but you deserved it. You waited long enough to hear the truth, and he knew his time was running out; you weren’t going to wait for him forever.
“(Y/N)...” he began to speak, forehead resting on yours as he panted softly to catch his breath. “I dreamt of you last night. I have been for days.”
“Levi--”
“--Just listen,” he interrupted, unable to stop himself from kissing you softly once more. “Neither of us are running away this time.”
You fell silent as the man let you down, pulling you into his solid chest as you buried your face in his shirt, patiently listening. His calm heartbeat thrummed soothingly in your ears like a metronome.
“Isabel, Farlan, Oluo, Petra, Gunther, Eld. They all knew that what they meant to me. And I them."
One of the only things that made it easier to say goodbye, you thought with a bittersweet pang in your chest.
"With us, it's different. I died in every dream, (Y/N). Every one. And in every single one, you lived on believing I never loved you. Call me selfish, but I...”
You pulled away from the stoic man, searching his gaze as he trailed off. Shyly, you interlaced your fingers, his larger hand enveloping yours and you prayed to whoever was listening upstairs that all of this was real.
“I just can't leave until you understand...”
He clutched you impossibly tighter, eyes squeezing shut.
"...that you, are everything."
~~~ Extended Ending ~~~
A soft hum filled the air, the tune dreamy and sweet as you repeated the melody once again. You smiled warmly as hands wound around your waist, pulling you closer to a toned and shirtless Captain Levi, silken sheets tossed haphazardly on top of the two of you. His breath sent goosebumps on your neck as he kissed your shoulder gently, warmth deliciously intoxicating. 
Giggling now, you turned around to face him, the man’s onyx hair ticking you softly. You captured your lips in his with one smooth movement and snuggled closer, taking in the small slice of heaven that was home in his arms, legs tangled together. Feeling unbelievably content, like your heart might burst, you leaned forward and rubbed your nose against Levi's. 
Although he wasn't smiling, the look he was giving you revealed his own sensation of happiness.
“I never thought you’d be the cuddling type,” you remarked devilishly, scrunching up your nose as you teased him. 
Though your tone was lighthearted, you were painfully aware that the moment was ending. You internally cursed the sun as it started to set, orange light peeking in through the window shades to signal the coming of night. Levi said nothing, looking deeply into your eyes, and like always, it felt as if he could read the contents of your soul. 
But it wasn’t vulnerability you felt: on the contrary, you knew you would never find as safe a place as here. With him. Finally.  
“Levi...” you swallowed, humor all but gone. “Now you have to come home.” 
To emphasize your point you sat up on the bed, legs tucked neatly underneath you as you stared imperatively at your lover. 
“Mhm. We’ve wasted enough time,” he agreed, taking you by the wrist to pull you back on top of him, to bask in this personal paradise if only for another minute. 
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violent-optimism · 3 years
Text
Why Twilight Princess is the Best Zelda Game (To Me!)
Hey ya’ll,
I know I don’t really talk about video games that much. I really should though! Video Games have been a huge part of my life for pretty much as long as I can remember.
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The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess is a game that means so much to me I can scarcely put it into words. I was 10 years old when this game came out, the perfect age in my opinion. I think if I had been any older or younger it might have slipped past my radar. Despite the game being rated T for Teen, my parents got it for me and my sister anyway which I think is pretty fucking rad.
Not that we really knew what we were in for, of course. I was just a kid. I didn’t read game reviews yet, and I didn’t have any friends who had played this game so I couldn’t ask them about it either. When we first popped that disc in and were brought to the main menu, we had absolutely NO idea just what kind of ride we were in for or how just how much this game would impact us.
Another thing I’d like to mention was how this game was introduced into my life at the perfect time. My sister and I had just moved schools. We were the new kids, and we had a lot of trouble adjusting and fitting in. There was definitely some teasing, maybe even some bullying. I don’t remember much from those days to be honest. But you know what I do remember? Playing Twilight Princess. This game was the perfect distraction from my crappy school life, and in a time where my sister and I barely had any friends, it was so comforting. We’ve always been close, but I think we bonded a lot over this game.
If you’re a gamer, you know this feeling; the feeling when you are currently playing a game that is just so fun, so amazing, so utterly addicting in the best possible way; that when you’re away from it it’s all you can think about. I distinctly remember my Dad installing the new TV which meant no Twilight Princess for a day or so. I was SO impatient and I just couldn’t wait for him to be done so I could continue playing it.
Even though I’ve now played Twilight Princess so many times that I could basically play it with my eyes closed (maybe lol) I still remember experiencing some of the best moments of the game for the very first time; running around Ordon Village, finding Midna, beating the first dungeon, finding out that GANONDORF was in the game! (Remember I had no way of knowing this at the time). Every big moment, every discovery, every heart-wrenching cut scene, it all felt so real and so important at the time. In a lot of ways, it still is.
Okay, so that’s the personal part. A bit long-winded, I know. I just thought it was important to include for this essay. But what is it about Twilight Princess that makes it so special? Why do I love it so much even after 15 years? (God that makes me feel old). This list isn’t really in a particular order but I will definitely be covering a lot of the BIG reasons why I adore this game so much. Oh, and in case you’re a little late to the party, there will be spoilers. Let’s go!
 Darker and More Mature:
There’s something really enticing about being a kid, and witnessing something in a movie, video game, etc. that you know you probably shouldn’t have watched but you did anyway. Not only is Twilight Princess the only Zelda game to date that is Rated T (I’m pretty sure anyway), but it has some seriously dark and disturbing moments throughout the story; including one VERY creepy cut scene about halfway through the game that still haunts me a little to this day. Beyond that, you’ve got painful transformation sequences, characters being stabbed, characters sacrificing themselves, and a scene where I’m pretty sure Ganondorf’s neck just gets fucking broken. I can go on, but the point is this Zelda game does not screw around when it comes to showing intense moments and it’s all the better for it. I never felt the game went too far with it, but let’s say Twilight Princess definitely earned its T rating.
 Wolf Form:
I’m sure people who haven’t even played TP know that this is probably the biggest defining feature. In this game, Link gains the ability to turn into a Wolf! I know some people might consider these parts of the game to be boring and not as fun, but I have always disagreed with that notion. I think it’s a really cool and out of the box way to break the somewhat repetitive gameplay of traditional Zelda games. There’s more of a puzzle-solving element to these Wolf sections, and I for one find it very satisfying to collect the Tears of Light. Turning into your Wolf form becomes essential, especially towards the latter half of the game when you need to complete tasks that you couldn’t normally do as a human. Plus…Wolf Link is pretty darn cute! His design is awesome too.
 MIDNA!!!:
And speaking of Wolf Link, around the same time Link gains this ability he also meets a character who (in my opinion) is THE BEST Zelda sidekick/companion across all the games. She’s not annoying, she’s not boring; Midna is a 3-Dimensional, fully fleshed out character that plays a crucial role in the story. I can’t imagine anyone playing this game and NOT getting attached to Midna. I know I certainly did. In the first half of the game you don’t really know that much about her, but she is certainly helpful gameplay-wise and doesn’t just give you the same useless hint over and over. Plus, the SASS! My God, Midna is so sassy I love her so much. I love how she grows and changes and becomes a better person by the end of the story. Midna really deserves her own game!
 A Beautiful Game:
Now obviously this doesn’t just apply to Twilight Princess. Most Zelda games are very beautiful, especially the more modern ones such as Breath of the Wild. However, there is something about the specific beauty of Twilight Princess that just takes my breath away. The scenery is just gorgeous everywhere you go. Ordon Village is beautiful, Hyrule Field is stunning, Snowpeak is captivating, the Fishing Hole is serene, you get the picture. And to top it all off, Twilight Princess STILL looks beautiful even after all these years. The graphics have aged really well which is certainly no hindrance. As a kid I always wished that some of the locations were real, and honestly, I still kinda do.
 Best version of Ganondorf:
It’s funny; I don’t normally root for villains. I tend to gravitate towards more heroic characters or characters that are more similar to me. Ganondorf is certainly the exception; specifically the Ganondorf that we see in Twilight Princess. I remember being SO EXCITED when he first appeared in a cut scene after Arbiter’s Grounds. I don’t know if it’s the way he was introduced, the raspy laugh, or his character design, but I LOVE Ganondorf in this game. He is just so bad-ass, so cool, my only wish is that we saw a little bit more of him in TP. Regardless, every time he shows up in the game, he is a formidable and dominating screen presence. And I feel no shame whatsoever admitting that 10 year old Sam developed a massive crush on this Ganondorf. Is that weird? I dunno, but either way he is just so cool as well as a fantastic addition to an already perfect game.
The Soundtrack:
Again, it’s not unusual for a Zelda game to have a really fantastic soundtrack. The series has always had amazing music since the very first game. However, the music in Twilight Princess continues to entrance me even to this day. The Main Menu theme? Amazing. Midna’s theme? Amazing. Lake Hylia? Amazing. And don’t even get me started on those beautiful Wolf Songs you sing throughout the game. It’s just a beautiful soundtrack. To say it’s nostalgic for me is a massive understatement.
Dungeon Design:
Unsurprisingly, most Zelda games tend to recycle the same temple themes over and over again. You got your forest temple, your fire temple, water, desert, time, etc. These are definitely present in Twilight Princess, but there’s something about the way they’re designed and the way you move through them that just feels so unique and wonderful. I won’t name them but I’ve played other Zelda games where the dungeons felt like a horrible, tedious chore. With TP, I never felt that was the case. Every Dungeon is packed full of secrets, with plenty of interesting set pieces to explore. Even the water temple (YES, the Water Temple!) is enjoyable to play through. The Dungeons have tons of replay value as well, meaning that you can return later and find special items that you weren’t able to access before.
And just as a fun bonus, here’s my top nine list for the Twilight Princess Dungeon’s:
9) City in the Sky
8) Palace of Twilight
7) Hyrule Castle
6) Temple of Time
5) Lakebed Temple
4) Forest Temple
3) Snowpeak Ruins
2) Goron Mines
1) Arbiter’s Grounds
 And that about wraps it up, folks! Sorry this was such a long essay, I had so much to say. It is, after all, my favourite video game ever. Of course it’s not technically perfect and it definitely has some flaws. But you know what? It’s perfect to me, and I’ll never get sick of it.
Thank you so much for reading! :) Listen to this track of the opening theme and tell me you don’t feel it in your SOUL!!!
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malo-mart · 4 years
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Which zelda is your fav? Why? (This is full on permission if you wish to write a like, 30 page cited essay on it, i wanna read)
Anon this is such a loaded question you have no idea <\3 I love the zelda series so much and I've played it for so long that my favourites all kind of blur together. I was thinking I could tell you what my favourite aspects of my top 5 games are though lol? I would love to write a cited essay for you but I am basically illiterate hehe
Anyway so because I can't pick one here are five
Minish cap:
for a long time I said minish cap was my #1 favourite game! I love that it's a Gameboy game with that early 2000's pixel graphics it's so cute <3 and I loved the gameplay of big/small (it has that classic overworld/underworld Zelda feel) along with collecting the kinstones, it was so charming. I'm always really obnoxious about it on Tumblr because I think it's massively underrated and more people should play it! Also ezlo is a good companion and he reminds me the most of Midna!!
Twilight princess:
um is this not every single persons guilty pleasure game ?? It's so good. It's just. So good. People call it edgy and trying too hard to be Majora's mask but at the end of the day it was a solid and fun Zelda game that I love so much !! How can you not love turning into a wolf. How can you not love midna. I think it has a great plot twist and some of the mechanisms were really fun. The fact that you can hold cats is a huge highlight for me as well. Also I think I should mention that I don't ship anything in loz it's not that kind of fandom for me but I do enjoy a little midzel....as a treat
A Link Between World's:
i LOVE this game !!!!!! It was a breath of fresh air while also being a sequel to alttp? Botw 2 could never (we'll see).. I think albw brought back that classic loz feel while still being its own unique game! I thought ravio and Hilda were so loveable and they deserve so much more attention then they get. This while game in general deserved a lot more love. It's a favourite for me because the wall puzzles were so simple and clever n just so much fun!!!! I think I could write an entire essay about albw if I wanted to there's so much to commend!!
Skyward sword:
ok I know I said twilight princess was my guilty pleasure favourite but skyward sword is ALSO that. I'm replaying it atm and when the music started playing I teared up it's such an emotional game for me. The fact that it came out almost a decade ago?? Insane. I used to watch skyward sword zelink AMVs in 2011 so this game is crazy nostalgic for me lmao. I know people have a problem with the gameplay but I just think once you get over it it's such a fun and rewarding game? The plot is my favourite of all zelda games. I enjoyed actually having a relationship with zelda, it made me more motivated to play through the game because I wanted to save her <3 also it's low-key my favourite soundtrack (tied w wind waker) so like to all the people who don't like skyward sword- it's a good game i swear you just have to open your heart to it
Wind waker:
OBVIOUSLY wind waker is on this list it's a MASTERPIECE!!!!!!!! The MUSIC the ART STYLE the CHARACTERS !!!!!!!!!!! Anyone here give me one good reason why you don't like ww I dare you. Wind waker is the most fufilling and beautiful games I've ever played. It's beautiful it's gorgeous it's wonderful. Tetra is such a delight and ganondorf actually has a backstory and good dialogue!!! AMAZING!!!!!!! a really strong plot and interesting underworld/overworld dynamic. I love wind waker omg
Majora's Mask:
So I had to pick between Majora's and ocarina and honestly I think I do like mm more? I've only ever played it all the way through twice but I love how the whole game is dependant on how you interact with the side quests. Both times I played I made sure to get every mask because to me it just feels so fufilling to know I am getting the most out of the story. And like for every edgy game that has ever come out...mm did it first. It was creepy it was anxiety inducing but it did it so well. It didn't feel forced at all and I think it's my favourite game I've ever played that has a time dynamic to it. It feels so good to watch the credits of Majora's mask and see everyone be happy! Its a lot more unconventional hero in Majora's mask because I don't feel good for defeating majora I feel good for helping all these characters who I got to know. It's a good game I think everyone should try playing it but I can acknowledge it's not everyone's cup of tea
Anyway that was definitely six not five but I couldn't leave any of them out they're all so important to me !! I've played a myriad of other zelda games that didn't make the cut but trust me I also love them. I'm sorry this is the worst answer to your very specific question haha but hopefully it's not too boring. Feel free to tell me what your favourite game(s) is I'd love to hear. If ppl make it to the end of this you should reply with ur fave game and why! I'd love to read them :)
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shaechans · 3 years
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ask game!!
the answers are under the cut in case it goes too long hehe
Last Song You Listened To?
from home by nct
Relationship Status.
single!!
Did You Wake Up Cranky?
no in fact i woke in a really good mood cause i didn’t have school lmao
How Many Followers?
426 holy shit thank you
Take A Vitamin Daily?
nope
Do You Sing In The Shower?
of course. but sometimes i just think of shower thoughts
What Books Are You Reading?
started the hunger games series recently
Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.
“information technology (IT) is the study of design, development, implementation, support or management of computer based information” that’s my sisters’ 8th grade social textbook lols
Favourite Anime?
death note (thats the only ive watched so far, gonna start haikyuu soon)
Last Person You Cried In Front Of?
my mom sigh i cried cause of this terrible headache i had and couldn’t handle anymore
Do You Collect Anything?
...albums?
What Did You Have For Lunch?
fish curry and fish fry yum
Do You Dance In The Car?
more like sing than dance but then again, it depends on the song and the mood im in
Do You Watch The Olympics?
as of now, no but i might have to soon
What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?
11pm on school days and 1-2am on weekends
Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?
nope
Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?
none. i don’t like swimming. but if i chad to choose, pool. i’m thalassophobic
Bottled Water Or Tap Water?
bottled!!!
What Makes You Happy?
making people laugh, the noise of laughter, kpop, and spending time with people i like annoying
Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.
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Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?
with music. but like music i haven’t heard before otherwise i get distracted and sing along
Dogs Or Cats?
dogs!!!!!!!111!!!! but cats have been coming at me recently
If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?
ngl red or orange
PlayStation Or Xbox
hmm playstation
Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?
lake better than ocean
Do You Believe In Magic?
yesss except black magic that’s bullshit
What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?
juniper green
Can You Curl Your Tongue?
yup!
Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?
yes my shorts
Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?
yes treasure (and superm’s super one album)
Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?
noooo they’re scary
Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?
yes VERY easily. i’m a trend follower
Do You Have Strange Dreams?
all the time, it’s fun to think about in the morning
Do You Like Going On Airplanes?
oh yesss i love plane rides
Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?
peanuts
If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?
nct / the 1975
Are You A Picky Eater?
yes, VERY. and i have a small appetite so i can never really eat too much
Do You Like To Read / Write?
hmm write more than read
Do You Like Your Music Loud?
in between. sometimes it depends on my mood. but i’ll often lower the volume than increase
Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?
hmmm present wrapping would be fun
What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)
it’s the autumn > winter transition
What Are You Craving Right Now?
cookies and french fries:(( even though i ate those an hour ago
Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.
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lmao my ask and yes i use my laptop so
What Is Your Gender?
female!
Coffee Or Tea?
i don’t mind really but i would prefer coffee over tea
Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?
nope but i do have a marketing test on the 29th yikes
Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?
yes im tidy like that
Favourite Pokemon?
squirtle and snorlax cuties
Favourite Social Media?
ngl right now really proud of my tumblr. but it’s usually my instagram
What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?
i love them
Do You Get Homesick?
YES ALOT, like i feel like that as soon as im out my house for like 5 minutes
Are You A Virgin?
yes and im 15
If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?
fuck that motel i’d sleep in the car wtf
Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?
yes<3
Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?
hmm i don’t really yet
Do You Miss Your Ex?
don’t have one woohoo
What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?
if beyonce can forgive jayz, i can forgive you ~ kevin moon
Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?
the swings were are��my favourite on the playground. i LOVE going on them and will fight 5 year olds to sit on one >.<
What Was The Last Thing You Ate?
banana
Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?
OF COURSE. i would help anyone in need of help, homeless or not, outcast or not. if you wouldn’t please unfollow me thank you
Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?
...yes
Stalked Someone On A Social Network?
..........yes
Do You Like Meeting New People?
sometimes yes sometimes no. it depends on the group of people, i’m attracted to lively and playful groups pf people
Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.
nopeee
Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?
opennnn
What Are Three Things You Did Today?
made myself a sandwich, replayed enhypen’s teaser a billion times and watched nct world’s latest episode
What Do You Wear To Bed?
comfy clothes
List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.
none
Are You A Day Or Night Person?
day hmmm what
Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.
i.... cannot remember.. i briefly remember this one dream where i, along with a group of people were locked up in this tower thing and it was a test???? and the judge was rain. he trained us for a week or something to rock climbing. and then i remember sunwoo helping me win when he was in the opposite team and he was about to kiss me woop but i fell.. and suddenly i was running away in a getaway car there were sirens in the beat of your heart kjakjahsj and then i woke up whew
Favourite Soda Drink?
ginger ale
Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?
jeans
How Do You Look Right Now?
face oily, neck sore and eyes falling woooo
Name Something That Relaxes You
this playlist
What Tattoo Do You Want?
lowkey want a mmdiii (2503) or Yea, Simon says Hurry up 거리에 널린 flat hoop들 멈춘 순간 널 향해 조준 다 쏜다Hands up 뒤돌아 Hands up 흔들어 숨이 가득 차도 여기 법 계속 달려왜 또 눈치만 보고 서있나 우두커니 왜 또 겁먹은 표정을 짓나 이걸 원해?주문을 외워 I'm God 너희를 홀려 like wow NCT we all so sexy NCT noise you can't break me 누가 날 욕해 who Bless me achoo Simon says be cool Don't be such a fool Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind Yo 꽉 막힌 차 사이로 길을 여는 siren 니 맘에 그 체증을 밤새 뚫고 달려누구보다 빨라 전부 뒤에 가있어 거침없어 모든 건 내게 달려Eh 점점 분위기는 high high high high 우릴 막는 소린 bye bye bye bye 신경 다 끄고 놀아 밤새 누가 뭐라 하든 상관 안 해주문을 외워 I'm God 너희를 홀려 like wow NCT we all so sexy NCT noise you can't break me 누가 날 욕해 who Bless me achoo Simon says be cool Don't be such a fool Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (killer killer killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind두려워하지마 널 막는 건 너 일 뿐 yeah 착각하지마 우린 오늘 break the rules 눈을 뜨고 깨어나 이 순간 깊숙이 빠져들어가 현실과 꿈의 사이 진짜 널 찾는 그 순간Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (aye, real vibe killer) Simon says 우린 real vibe killer (aye, real vibe killer) 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 너네들은 다 mine mine mine mine mine 필요 없어 그딴 말말말말말 We don't pay no mind mind mind mind mind We don't pay no attention but i don’t maybe the mmdiii.
whew that was a long one...kudos to whoever read all this bullshit
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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years
Text
Young Love and an Episode of Friends (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader x Shinsou Hitoshi) FINAL
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Oooookay~! The final part is over~!! I did it! I did it!! And I’m so excited to be posting the last part of this mini-series! Felt kinda like a movie lol 
Summary:  You keep telling everyone you’re okay after surviving Hell but Bakugou and Shinsou don’t buy it.
BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!
Featuring: Lord Explosion Murder!! AAAAAND Our Fave Emo, Purple Boi!
Meanwhile, you were in the comfort of Shinsou’s room, sitting in his bed with the lights all turned off except for the TV’s light showing you a rather intense scene. You were feeling nostalgic, so you and Shinsou both decided to watch the 2009 movie ‘Drag Me To Hell’ ironically. At first Shinsou wasn’t sure about this movie given that the movie more or less described your ordeal, but you told him that it was okay and that you were still into it.
You slowly munched on an Oreo as the whole bag sat between you and your friend. Both of your eyes glued to the scene as he reached for once without even looking. “Yeesh… that is one ugly woman…” You remarked, amazed at how ugly a woman can go when she looks so haunted, angry and vicious when she attacked poor Christine in one of the earlier parts.
“Tell me about it… this movie is more disgusting than I remember…” Shinsou remarked, cringing slightly at how the fly went up Christine’s nose, and wondered how he and you managed to even eat the snacks you had placed in front of you.
“How the hell were we not scared back then?” You wondered out loud, not having to see the shrug from Shinsou as you both were intent on the jump scare coming up. You knew it was coming, you both did and yet you didn’t see nor did you know that THIS was coming.
SLAM
The door opened wide as soon as the old woman screeched in Christine’s face, but the surprise and sound of your door, and seeing Bakugou’s irritated face startled both you and Shinsou as you both literally jumped out of his bed, “AHHHHH!” Together, you ended up dropping all of the snacks to the floor as you and him let out little yelps and quickly you clung to your taller friend, which only irritated Bakugou even more.
“Stop shouting you idiots!” 
That was very ironic, and finally you registered that Bakugou was here and not Mrs. Ganush. “Oh! Hey Katsuki~.” You smiled and waved cheerfully, which had now annoyed Shinsou. “Get out.” He said bluntly and fast, but Bakugou was the wrong person to give demands to.
“Don’t tell me what to do you bastard!”
“This is my room.”
“I don’t give a shit!”
“I do.”
It was amusing match between loud and monotone, and you couldn’t help but snicker seeing them go at it like that. Bakugou and Shinsou never did get along with each other, in fact you were pretty sure that they despised one another because they didn’t enjoy each other’s company and were complete opposites, so they naturally butted heads. But with them both being close to things, it only made things worse…
You weren’t complete unaware that they didn’t like each other though. “Hey… c’mon you two… instead of fighting… why don’t we just watch the rest of Drag Me To Hell together?” You had passively suggested, making them both shut up for a bit, but Bakugou gave you an annoyed look the second he heard which movie you were watching.
“Isn’t that too soon moron?” Why in the world were you watching a movie about a woman being dragged off to hell, when you just came back from hell?
But all you did was smile and shrug your shoulders, “Not really. I haven’t seen it in years, and I guess my little ordeal inspired me to check it out after so long.” You replied casually, almost cheerfully and it drove Bakugou insane. He almost wanted to slap you silly for being so blasé and nonchalant about the shit you’ve been through. However, instead of being an ass and yelling about it, he scoffed and decided to watch the stupid movie with you and Eye Bags.
“Whatever.” He muttered and invited himself in, sitting right next to you, much to Shinsou’s immense chagrin.
“Don’t scorch my sheets.” Shinsou warned him with an annoyed mutter. He couldn’t just tell him to leave, well, he could have, but he knew that you liked the bastard for some reason, and he understood Bakugou a little bit. He was mildly shocked at your lack of reaction despite the trauma you likely suffered from that experience, but he didn’t press on it because he was sure you probably didn’t want to talk about it, and overall didn’t wish to start an argument with Bakugou for fear of upsetting you. So as annoying as it was, Shinsou let the jerk stay and watch the movie with you and him.
ONE HOUR LATER
Admittedly, watching Christine get dragged to hell kind of brought back some unpleasant memories, but you shoved it down deep so you didn’t unnerve your best friends. You heard them out, but the truth was you didn’t want to be babied, or treated like you’re vulnerable even though you knew that you weren’t really okay after everything that happened. Everything you had to endure for that entire week of being stuck in your Hell.
So you just chuckled and shook your head when the movie ended, “Wow… let this be a lesson guys, always check to make sure you have the right thing on you…” You stated in amusement, but only Shinsou looked amused. “No shit…”
Bakugou on the other hand, wasn’t as entertained as you were due to the movie’s corny effects and over-the-top visuals. “Tch… I can’t believe you still watch this crap…” He muttered in annoyance, and you could actually laugh since he wasn’t being mean about it, just exasperated. “Hee-hee… what can I say? I like that corny horror… back in it’s prime… it was actually even more scary… but I can still appreciate it in modern times…” You thought outloud with a smile, lying on the bed you sat on.
“Well! That sure was fun… thank you boys~. You guys fucking rock… that would NOT have been as entertaining with you guys.” You chuckled, smiling brightly at both the boys who you swore were blushing just a little bit.
“Yeah… sure…”
“Mm-hmm... you’re welcome.”
They were acting oddly awkward, which was a little bit unusual to you since both Bakugou and Shinsou were both so blunt and unapproachable most of the time that they didn’t seem the types to be awkward nor act like it.
However, you still smiled and gave them both big hugs, missing how they glared at each other when they hugged you back. This was supposed to be Shinsou’s time spent with you, but the jerk just had to come in and intrude on you and him. So Shinsou was NOT happy with the ash-blonde at all right now, even when you took the last of the Oreos he made sure to let Bakugou know that he wasn’t happy. But when you got up to leave his room, Bakugou discreetly flipped off the brainwasher as soon as your back was turned.
For the most part, they fought without you there to witness. Neither of them were willing to lose to each other when it came to getting close to you.
And you couldn’t have been more oblivious. You loved Bakugou with all your heart, but dammit, you’d be lying if you said that Shinsou didn’t have a place in your heart…
Was it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time?
~~I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU~~
“I told you you couldn’t help… Shitty Girl…”
"(Y-Y/N)... you have to go..."
"You did this yourself you fucking idiot... I told you to just stay put... it's your own fucking fault..."
SLASH
“NOOOOOOOOO!!”
Your eyes shot open as you gasped in horror and quickly you shot up from where you lied and looked around your room frantically as your whole form quivered, wracked with fear. Panting and whimpering as you stared at your hands and then went to your mirror to make sure there wasn’t any blood on your face. Quickly, you got up on shaking knees and ignored how gravity seemed to weigh down on you as you stumbled out of your bed and to your door, opening it to make sure there was no blood and no bodies…
With a gasp you continued to walk, eyes wide and wild with fear as you looked in every direction, stumbling the entire time until you walked into the empty common room. Nothing but darkness and moonlight shining through the windows, and no blood or bodies in sight. And then you realized that this was your house and you weren’t at the dorms anymore, you were home with your parents…
Once more you stared at your hands, not seeing a speck of blood on them and you gave a big sigh of relief as you told yourself that this wasn’t Hell, you were still on the physical plane. Yet, your body was still trembling even when you tried to make yourself calm down. In and out you took deep breaths, but nothing was working at the moment…
God, you couldn’t get those images out of your head. Even when you tried to tell everyone that you were okay, deep down you know, and they knew that you weren’t okay. Those visions still haunted you, every time you closed your eyes all you could see was your bloodied, deceased friends…
Shinsou being injured and slashed apart, and Izuku’s pained screaming, and Bakugou…
Being killed right before your very eyes, blaming you and telling you that it was all your fault…
Even when you tried to regulate your breathing it wasn’t working, you couldn’t stop those images replaying in your head over and over again after that’s what you were forced to watch, over and over again. It was like a nightmare come true, even if it was over, it didn’t feel like it at all. Unseen little demons were crawling in your skin and making you shake as you shakily inhaled and exhaled in an attempt to regulate your breathing, but it felt useless. However, that little part of your brain that told you to ‘chill the F out’ was nagging at you to try and relax despite how difficult it was.
Oh how you wanted to call one of your dearest friends. Izuku, Iida, Shinsou, Bakugou, anyone. How you just wanted to tell them that you were freaking out and not feeling well at all to go back to sleep. But you weren’t sure how they would react, you didn’t want to bother any of them either especially since you knew they couldn’t. They couldn’t leave the dorms especially at such an ungodly hour. So instead of being a nuisance like you thought you would be, you went back to your room to get your phone, small blanket and headphones.
There was always one other person you could rely on for times of comfort.
Stevie Nicks.
So I'm back to the velvet underground
Back to the floor that I love
To a room with some lace and paper flowers
Back to the gypsy that I was
To the gypsy that I was…
Aside from Friends and other things, you adored the singer Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac, they were an awesome band that you frequently listened to. Izuku and Bakugou were well aware of your tastes in music, since you often played Stevie’s music or would go on and on about how good she was. Izuku in particular found it endearing, but Bakugou was much more annoyed and didn’t get it. No he didn’t dislike the band, but you simply just did not shut up about them. He listened to classic rock too though, and he never really admitted to you that he liked some of their songs…
Like ‘The Edge of Seventeen’ and ‘The Chain’. Hell, Bakugou even enjoyed ‘Landslide’ even if it was a soft, somewhat sad song. He appreciated the singer’s emotions behind it all right?! 
Shinsou however, did enjoy the band and the singer and was more open about it, being into classic rock and pop punk like you. He never minded whenever you went on about how much you loved the group and even at times would smile and hum the lyrics when you would just sing your heart out to them. 
Tonight though you didn’t sing, because everyone was asleep and you did NOT want to wake your mom or your dad up. Instead, you kept your headphones in, mouthing the lyrics with your blanket around your shoulders and pretended that it was a shawl so you could do the spin just like Stevie.
And it all comes down to you
Well, you know that it does, well
Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice
Oh and it lights up the night
And you see your gypsy
You see your gypsy…
You were spinning around, mouthing and quietly singing the song, pretending that you were Stevie on stage and trying to forget about everything you had been through. As the song played, it worked for a little bit as the music took you away for a little bit and for once that night you could giggle. “And it all comes down to you~.” You even did a little air guitar for the awesome ending solo that you loved so much.
But when the song ended, you were a little bit tired from all that spinning. For a moment you thought that you could go back to bed, but fear took a hold of you and made you go back to your room to keep listening to your music and let it lull you to sleep. What if this was all a trick? What if you were still trapped in Hell? You almost believed that possibility as you closed your eyes, letting the next song play to just distract you… 
For the rest of the night you listened to Stevie sing her lullabies as your eyes eventually closed…
THE NEXT MORNING…
Of course, you got very little sleep last night after the nightmares just kept haunting you and replaying everything from your Hell over and over again. It was hurting your soul, even though you were so happy to have been back, the images plaguing your mind weren’t making this as wonderful as you wanted.
At least your homework was all done thanks to Izuku and Bakugou. God, you couldn’t see either of them today. You were worried that they might ask you things like ‘Are you okay?’ and you weren’t going to tell them about your feelings. They were already concerned for you due to the nonchalant façade you were putting up, and you didn’t plan on letting that break anytime soon. You were plenty a burden already, and you never should have tried to show off with your quirk…
Maybe if you hadn’t been so hung-up on trying to prove something stupid to Bakugou that you wouldn’t be riddled with these hellish scenes in your head. You wouldn’t blame him though, it was your own fault. And that’s what you couldn’t see him or Shinsou. 
So you stood in class, not getting up to go greet anyone from 1-A, nor did you answer any texts you were getting from Izuku, Shinsou and Bakugou the entire school day. When the day was over you retreated out of the class as quick as you could and made sure to avoid any direction that the 1-A students would go to, as to spare being greeted by any of the students and have them ask question. You wondered how they were doing, but you didn’t want to go and spy on them because then they would find you. Maybe you could use your quirk…
It felt like a bad idea, but Shinigami was gone. Michael killed him and now he was suffering in Hell, but you weren’t going to talk to anyone strange ever again in the spiritual planes. So, you decided to not use Decensum. 
You didn’t feel safe using it for quite a while, not after what happened to you. Thankfully, before you could brood about what happened to you, your phone went off for what felt like the 100th time today as you looked to see some worried and angry messages from your friends, particularly from Shinsou and Bakugou.
‘(Y/N). Are you all right?’
‘What the fuck Shithead? Where the hell are you?’
‘Hello?’
‘DON’T IGNORE ME!’
‘Did something happen?!’
‘Where are you?!’
‘Dammit answer me soon you idiot!!’
Now you felt bad. It was clear that they were probably both kind of freaking out or at least panicking internally after you ghosted them the entire day. Should you go see them? Or should you just go back home and tell them your phone died? No, they won’t buy that…
Eventually, you did answer back as you started to walk away from the school and went your own direction. 
‘I’m okay.’
‘I was distracted.’
‘I’m going home soon now.’
Your texts weren’t really as cheerful, nor did you make a joke in any of them. And you had no idea that that was enough proof for Bakugou and Shinsou to know that you were NOT okay. In their own ways, they were extremely concerned and didn’t even really acknowledge their peers once they went to their rooms really quick. 
“Hey, Bakugou? Where ya goin’?” Kirishima quickly sensed that Bakugou was a little on edge though, “None of your business Shitty Hair!” He replied pretty fast as he started to angrily march out of the place, stopping as soon as he saw Shinsou walking away from a concerned Kaminari. He had an idea of where he was going…
They stared at each other for a while or glared at each other. “Don’t even think about it…” Bakugou made the first warning to the brainwasher, who just scoffed. “You can’t stop me.” Shinsou was defiant though, and it made Kirishima and Kaminari nervous.
It looked like they were getting ready for a fight, but surprisingly Shoji had shown up to make them stop. “(Y/N) wouldn’t want you two to fight.” He softly reprimanded them, but succeeded in angering the already riled Bakugou.
“Beat it Octopus!” He shouted at him, but Shoji wasn’t deterred, nor did he seem insulted. “She’s not at her house.” Shoji’s reply was calm, even though that made Bakugou and Shinsou’s eyes go slightly wide.
“And how do you know that?” Shinsou asked him a BIT more politely, but somewhat curtly with a dubious look.
“I heard her on the first floor. She said she wanted to stay for a bit before she headed back home.” He finally gave them the information they wanted, but neither of them really thanked their tall classmate as they both kind of raced downstairs to try and find where you were at. “Dammit! Get lost already Eye-Bags!” Bakugou tried to threaten Shinsou, but the latter wasn’t willing to leave. 
“No.”
Just the simple word was enough to push Bakugou’s sensitive buttons, and he took the first step with crackling palms to just go after him but he stopped the second he thought he heard your voice. 
“I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down…”
Shinsou paused the moment he heard Stevie Nicks’ song and your voice. That was definitely you, and Shoji was right. “(Y/N)?” He quietly called you, much to Bakugou’s annoyance as he growled a little bit and looked around angrily for you, wherever the hell you were in this damn floor. 
“Shithead! Where are you?!”
Not the gentlest way to call you, but Bakugou wasn’t the best at doing that. But he WAS concerned and wondering what the hell you were doing. Ignoring your friends and not seeing them or sending a message or dumb pun at least once in a day was unlike you. It had to have been because of what happened.
Bakugou never talked about his own ordeal with the League of Villains, he hated talking about his feelings period. He knew you weren’t okay, and he knew that it was because of what happened with Shinigami. And he had no doubt that you were doing what he had been done: trying to just forget that horrible time and fail when all the horrors come back and haunt you.
“Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm…”
Shinsou followed your voice, going a little further towards the entrance as he slowly walked when your voice got a little bit louder. But he didn’t call you, just in case you got startled.
He knew what happened when you got like this. Sure, you often used Friends and other shows and movies to escape unpleasant feelings, but when you used music to escape and isolate yourself, that’s when Shinsou knew it was something bad. Somehow, you managed to open up his heart by letting him into your weird world and let him be weird with you.
So Shinsou picked up on your habits and idiosyncrasies, and he knew when you were upset and trying to hide that you were upset or feeling something more. Stevie Nicks was your favorite singer, and you always turned to her music when you were really happy or really sad. Right now, Shinsou knew that you were probably really sad, or overwhelmed, and he knew it was because of the ordeal…
“Well, I've been 'fraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm gettin' older, too…”
“(Y/N)…” 
Shinsou and Bakugou for once didn’t glare at each other or try to push one another once they heard your voice more clearly, and there you were, sitting right at the stairs that led to the inside of the place. Their reactions were very different, but they were relieved to see that you seemed okay, on the outside. 
“Hey idiot.” Bakugou called you first, but he didn’t yell or anything. Still it shocked you as you jumped a little bit, putting the song on pause and took your headphones out of your ears once you realized that you weren’t alone anymore. Anxiously, you turned and it was as you dreaded…
The guys you had been seriously contemplating your feelings towards, “Are you ok?” Shinsou was the first to ask you if you were okay, even though he felt like he knew the answer. “What the hell are you doing?” Bakugou’s question wasn’t as soft or gentle, but the concern was still there.
“Heeeeey guys~!” You put the act up, smiling nervously that they could see right through. “Ah I was… I dunno I just… didn’t wanna go home too soon after all… so I just decided to hang out… enjoy the view here. It’s pretty…” Wow, you sucked at hiding your feelings. Even you wouldn’t have believed you and mentally, you started scolding yourself since even you knew that they didn’t buy it.
“Don’t lie to me.” Bakugou scowled at you, but for once it wasn’t one out of anger. He was worried about you, and obviously you were hella surprised, which kinda hurt him a little bit. But in your defense, Bakugou hadn’t really treated you that well until yesterday so it was going to take some time to get used to. 
“You don’t normally isolate yourself. If anything you resort to begging a friend to come by so you’re not alone” Shinsou stated rather bluntly, and you did kind of glare at him a little bit for his observation skills, “And you listen to Stevie Nicks when you feel overwhelmed.” He added, and you almost grunted in annoyance. It wasn’t just you, Bakugou was extremely annoyed too at how much this bastard knew about you. Who the hell did he think he was?
You hated that they were right. You WERE lying, and you WERE isolating yourself and your smile had fallen away once the guys effortlessly broke through the thin wall you put up. “I’m sorry guys…” The first thing you did was apologize, putting your head in your hands. “I guess I still… have that stupid guy on my mind… everything that I just escaped…”
There it was. It didn’t surprise the two boys, but they did look a bit more concerned now that you were finally talking about it, and that prompted them to move in closer so they could both sit next to you.“I never should have used my quirk to try and find him… it was stupid…” You admitted more somberly, unwilling to let your eyes water as you forced back the emotions that desperately wanted to crawl out of your throat and pour out of you.
“Now all I see is… everyone… dead… and because I was… useless, and trying to do something just to feel important…”
Bakugou almost cringed when he remembered telling you those things, and accusing you of things that weren’t true. Now he felt really bad, “I can’t… stop seeing it…” Damn your human emotions, now you couldn’t keep the tears at bay or the nerves beginning to shake you, “E-Everything… I close my eyes and the Hell… is still there… I-I don’t even… I’m even wondering if I’m really here or… i-if I’m still in Hell… are you guys even… really Katsuki? And Hitoshi…? I know I see you both but… I can’t get it out of my head… a-and it’s all my fault... I’m so... weak...” You shook your head as droplets fell, and you didn’t see their faces… 
“Don’t say that.” Shinsou spoke first, even though comforting wasn’t his forte at all, he wanted to try for your sake. “You wanted to help... You are NOT weak (Y/N).” His replies were short, but oddly gentle.
“B-But…”
“No buts Shitty Girl.” Bakugou said a bit harshly, much like Shinsou, he sucked at comforting people because he never did it. It was a different story though, it was you who needed it. It was uncomfortable as hell, but he had to do something…
“I said stupid shit, but I was just mad… I didn’t really mean that…” He muttered a bit, starting to blush a little bit even though he was trying to make you feel better and not tell you that he liked you or anything. “You shouldn’t have used your quirk… I fucking hate your quirk… and yet… you were able to beat that bastard anyway… you... you’re not weak at all...” Bakugou agreed that you really shouldn’t have used your quirk, but didn’t forget about the fact that despite what happened, you still stopped a villain from getting to anyone else. 
Yet, it didn’t make the scars go away. Was that what heroes do? You had no idea how All-Might or even Aizawa could endure all of that…
“He’s right. It never should have gone like that… but you were able to return home.” Shinsou knew that even with the good you were able to do, that you were still in shock. “Yeah… thanks to you guys…” You inhaled and exhaled deeply, not wanting to suffer a major breakdown despite the tears that had streamed down your face.
“I can never thank you guys enough… Katsuki… Hitoshi…” You looked at both the boys, and they both had their concerned eyes on you. “Look… I’ve been going through some… weird feelings that I… wish I wasn’t feeling but… I can’t help it…” Your voice cracked as you sniffled and wiped the tears away as much as you could. “God… I love you guys… so… SO much…” There was a hitch in your breath as you felt Bakugou’s warm hand on your shoulder, an awkward attempt to try and give you some physical comfort as he awkwardly looked at you.
“I don’t… want to ask you guys this but… turns out that I… can’t handle everything by myself because I just… hate… HATE being alone… more than anything and I… I love… being with you guys… both of you… you guys take away that loneliness that I just… hate more than anything…” Your tears, it was almost painful for Bakugou and Shinsou to see and hear. Bakugou hated anything even remotely emotional, and he hated his damn soft spot for you because you were crumbling in front of him… 
He just wanted to protect the hell out of you, and never leave you alone again…
Shinsou didn’t like Bakugou, and Bakugou didn’t like him. But Shinsou liked you, hell… maybe it was more than that. He blushed heavily just thinking about it, but it was real, and he hated seeing you so sad because despite how you acted, Shinsou knew your deepest fears as you confided in him the most. He knew how much you hated being alone, and even though he enjoyed his solitude, he spent time with you. 
And he liked spending time with you, because deep down, he knew that you were the one person that made him feel like he didn’t want to be alone anymore…
“So… can you guys… just… promise me that… no matter what happens… you guys… won’t leave or forget me…?” There you finally asked them that, and they were both a little surprised and even glanced at each other. For once, there was no competitiveness or anger even though the envy was still there, but if there’s one thing they both agreed on, it’s that they both cared about you and wanted to protect you.
You perked up when you felt two pairs of strong arms around you, “You really are an idiot…” Bakugou muttered and blushed at how close you were to him again, “You’re always trying to bug me… how can I forget?” He asked you with his usual annoyed tone, and you couldn’t help but smile and laugh a little bit. 
“I promise.” But his next response made you gasp quietly, your glossy (E/C) eyes widening as your cheeks started to burn when the boy you’ve had a crush on since childhood promised to actually stay with you and never forget you…
“I really hate to say this but Bakugou has a point…” Shinsou said with a small smirk when Bakugou grunted in annoyance, “You bug me too… but I don’t hate it… and I don’t hate you.” He added, and your smile grew as you giggled a bit, since you knew Shinsou very rarely liked anyone, and was he blushing? “I promise too.” Shinsou almost sounded shy as he kept his arm around you and ignored the feeling of Bakugou’s own warmth contrasting with his slightly colder temperature.
Your blush deepened as you looked at your other dear friend. It shocked you to your core, but you had a special place in your heart for Shinsou, after everything he’s done for you it was impossible to just not have him on your mind most of the time. You liked him too…
And you weren’t so sure what this meant now, but Bakugou and Shinsou didn’t glare at each other this time and they kept you sandwiched in between them both. Your whole face heated up when you realized that you were more or less close to the two boys you were pretty much in love with. Okay, now you were really starting to wonder if you just went to Heaven instead of Hell…
This had to be Heaven…
“Hee~.” 
There was that giggle, Bakugou and Shinsou knew it very well as they saw you grinning, a warm flush coating their cheeks at how your stupid face could make their hearts flutter. “I really love you guys… I love you guys so much~.” You put your arms around them both and brought them closer to you and happily you kissed them both on their cheeks, and you heard them both gasp in surprise at the sudden affection.
“D-Don’t just kiss me so suddenly dumbass!!” Bakugou’s whole face lit up as he practically shrieked at you for such boldness on your part, even though he was secretly and internally bragging that he had gotten his second kiss from you while the brainwashing bastard only had one.
“(Y/N)…” Shinsou averted his eyes from you timidly, his scarlet blush dashed horribly across his cheeks and tinting his ears. He finally got a kiss though! And it felt incredible as Shinsou’s heart was racing so fast he thought he was going to keel over for a second had you not held onto him.
“Ahahaha~.” You blushed with a happy little giggle as you hummed in content, and the two boys blushed even darker as they tried to not glare at each other because despite their extremely polar opposite attitudes, Bakugou and Shinsou wanted to try and make this work with you, and they would always be there for you, the way you had been there for them too.
And maybe, just maybe, there was a slim but very real possibility that they might end up not completely hating each other in the end.
I’ll be there for you~
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sugarbubbleslove · 4 years
Text
Update - Game wise
So I’ve kind of disappeared - Sorry! *update*
I’ve completed Greedfall but I’m currently working through my Fem!De Sardet a second time - mostly to get the last of the achievements (and to romance Kurt all over again. Seriously, I’m not sure what it is about Kurt but I can’t seem to stay away from him lol)
The next playthrough will be Male!De Sardet so I can get the last romance achievement. 
Not 100% sure if I will do ‘Nightmare’ Mode but we’ll see. I know I’m not gonna get the animal trophy because I’m having a hard time killing them when they are friendly.
(But seriously - why so little love for Kurt/De Sardet?)
--
Fire Emblem Three Houses are getting a new house! And it looks like we can join all three houses together so I will wait and see if this will give me the ending I’m hoping for (though I was really hoping for an option for Byleth to tell both Eldegard and Rhea to fuck off and burn in the hell of their own making, but hey, that’s what fanfiction is for.
Still gotta complete Golden Deer though and do Crimson Flower and Silver Snow. Meh, I’ll probably get a move on with that tmw.)
PS - was I not supposed to know that it was Rhea in the opening scene? Because seriously, I knew it was her yet I got the impression that we aren’t supposed to know it was her. If that was the case, then they should have actually made an effort into hiding the fact it was Rhea...
(again, so little love for Byleth/Sylvain)
--
Giving Code Vein a break. I HATE the wolf. I can handle the teleporting lost - they are quite easy to handle once you figure out their move set, like diving forward when they teleport toward you so you end up behind them and attack like crazy, but fighting that wolf in that tiny little space...fuck you.
At least I get to check out Louis with my Revenant *grins*
(and so little love for Louis/Revenant! You guys are killing me here!)
--
So...that’s it...so far. Eager for the New Persona 5 Game though, I cannot wait to romance Makoto again and hopefully, though I’m not holding out much hope, maybe I can romance Ryuji...I miss his pretty brown eyes but if I have the option to actually stick up for Ryuji against the track team boys and the adults, then I will take it.
if not, we’re going to need to have a chat Atlus. I do not want Ryuji to be anyone’s punching bag anymore!! Let me defend my boy!
I might end up picking up this game again. I still just have the one achievement to get - Futaba’s lines. Fuck that Achievement. they better not put it in the next one.
--
Plus I’ve been getting the urge to replay Mass Effect Andromeda but I’m curious - has anyone tried to romance both Suvi and Liam with the same character? I’m curious to know what the reactions are (If anyone has done it).
--
Countdown to Xenoblade Chronicles Remaster People! I am SO hyped for this game. I got the original with Pandora’s Tower and The Last Story and I can tell you this, I fell in love with Xenoblade Chronicles pretty much straight away.
The shocking scene that happens pretty much within 20 to 30 minutes, my jaw dropping when I saw Tephra Cave (So damn pretty!!) then my first thought the moment I stepped out in the first open land ‘I’m never going to get 100%)
Damn, I am so ready for this game. I love it with all my heart.
Plus I can’t wait to get Fiora back, she’s my fave!!
*hmm, I wonder if we will get some extra scenes...*
--
And non-game wise, Jurassic World keeps making me cry! I really do feel sorry for the I-Rex in the end. She just didn’t get the chance to grow. And the fact that my baby raptors are all but gone. Just Blue.
Screw you Jurassic Park series, how dare you hurt these dinosaurs!!
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datura-foxglove · 5 years
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Yamato Hotsuin? For the character ask?
An ask about Devil Survivor 2! I’m so happy! :DDD
First impression : a silver haired character, yay! (I have major weakness against characters with black and silver hair, dunno why) ...wait, why are you throwing my character (Hibiki) to the dungeon!? D: too fast kinky boy!
Impression now : he is one of my favorite characters (second only to Hibiki actually. Hibiki is still my favorite troll in SMT series) and one of the characters with a tremendous character development from his time in the original Devil Survivor 2 and the Triangulum arc of DS 2 : Record Breaker. He goes from someone who didn’t even expect anything from his subordinates and the people he and his family had sacrificed their lives to protect and unable to trust anyone to someone who sacrificed his existence in the world in order to protect his best friend and trust that his friends will be able to defeat the enemy that they can’t defeat on their own. That is really major development. Yamato who had only saw civilians as helpless lambs who needs protection from the dragon (his family), had began to open his mind about the possibility that human beings had after meeting Hibiki, who had surpassed his every expectation and become his sworn friend. He also admits that he didn’t know anything about how civilians live their life, so he trusts Hibiki to show him that unknown world. His wish to explore the world after Triangulum arc just makes me want to cry, because he finally found a reason why he wants to protect the world other than just his family responsibility. His social skill other than to lead people in time of crisis is zero and it’s just so funny seeing all the innuendos he keeps throwing to Hibiki (and my man Hibiki accepted them with straight face lol). So yeah, one of my all time favorites.
Favorite moment : Hibiki feeding him takoyaki. His reaction to junk food is so adorable oh my god. Not to mention it immediately became his favorite and he ordered his chefs to cook the best takoyaki on their last day for Hibiki and his team is just aaaaaa--- but I also love the scene when Yamato said that he is going to explore the world and Hibiki offered to come with him. His happiness when he heard that is just so pure Yamato stop you are giving me heart attack.
Idea for a story : I do have a fanfic in mind about a crossover between DS 2 and Persona 5, but I have to replay DS 2 so I won’t mistake anything. It’s been years since I last played :’D
Unpopular opinion : I hate DS 2 the Animation. Oh my god they do Yamato so wrong and out of character there, or more likely, they never gave him a chance to develop at all unlike in the game. While I love Yamato, I didn’t really like his merit system. Not that I like Ronaldo’s ending too. But still the the merit system felt too forced in his ending. Not to mention that in the ending Yamato would never learn to enjoy his life at all. Sure it’s great if people can be rewarded due to their own skills and hard work without nepotism, but the strong people aren’t always the kind ones. While human kind will be able to advance even quicker than before, it also will be a greatly competitive driven one.
Favorite relationship : Yamato/Hibiki all the way. As lovers or friends, these two are too precious aaaa--- the way these two trust each other, how both helped the other to grow and develop as a person (more to Yamato than Hibiki because Hibiki is a blank main character, but due to Yamato giving him chances to develop as a leader Hibiki became the great force of mankind he is), and the way both acted as foil to each other. Hibiki always treat things jokingly (I mean, have you seen his dialogue choices? “I will call it dead meat.” “Rainboowwwww.” “Nicaeaman!” “*pants Daichi*” “*gasp* Pervert!” “Yamato said that he loves me.” my god this troll), but most of the times when he had a meeting with Yamato he was completely serious. Hibiki is probably the only person alive that dared to joke around with Yamato and Yamato actually think it interesting. Yamato always praised Hibiki whenever he did his job well, even amused if Hibiki replied arrogantly. In return, Hibiki teaches Yamato to enjoy his life. He promises to teach Yamato how civilian live and even asks to accompany him on his world trip. Also, whenever Yamato acted selfishly (like threatening to kill Hibiki’s friends if Hibiki didn’t choose his ending so that Hibiki would ‘come to his senses’) Hibiki won’t let him walk all over him and smacked some sense to his stubborn head. The two of them changed to better people because of each other and that’s just one of my favorite dynamic in relationship and I’m dying of thirst because I had already exhausted all contents for this ship in pixiv, tumblr, AO3, and even fanfiction.net aaaa---
Favorite headcanon : Yamato’s Cerberus is his most loyal and oldest Demon, so even when he had stronger Demons, Cerberus will forever be in his Demon lists even if he didn’t use him as team member. Since he is more experienced with Demon Summoning app, he knew all the secrets that he never told Hibiki until Hibiki finally found out and got annoyed. (Equipping passive skill anti-fire on summer so he didn’t feel too much of the heat? Hibiki is appalled that Yamato saw him sweating buckets and didn’t tell him about it. So that’s why he could still wear those heavy trench coat in summer. Damn you, Yamato.)
(I mean, look at him. He is so goddamn proud that Hibiki is looking after him after he got defeated. No wonder Miyako called him a dog that will wags his tail for Hibiki)
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applegelstore · 5 years
Text
My sis and I are through with the actual main plot of KH3, so I can officially go back to scheduled ToZ fangirling now. …Well, I promised Cray a bit of fix-it-fanart, so after that, I guess.
Hit the cut for a resume. It got super long and has endgame story spoilers, so you might not want to stumble upon it by accident.
Another extra big shoutout (again!) to @crazayrock for bearing my liveblogging on Discord, screaming without context and occasional spoilers. And linking me fluffy Soriku doujinshi. Here, have my favourite, spoiler-heavy excerpt of our conversation:
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Okay anyway, let’s get started: GAMEPLAY
Kingdom Hearts 3 is BEAUTIFUL. The gameplay is so smooth and intuitive that you can immediately get to playing like you’d never done anything else; in fact so smooth that I doubt I will ever be able to pick up the first game ever again. It’s always been fun, but the looooooong years’ gap actually did wonders to the gameplay.
The keyblade form changes are fun and keep things fresh, you can do flashy triangle button shit every other minute, and shotlock is still insanely useful without being a game-breaker.
It seems easier than the first two main games, though?
The gummi ship is still a pain in the ass to steer, but I do enjoy the open world-like travel options (even if there’s not… much to discover except heartless lasering the shit out of you). I’m also eternally grateful that they kept the gummi ship thing from KH2 where you can just use a new gummi ship once you got the blueprint and don’t buy actual fucking legos as in the first game.
Thank you, Square. Not thanking you for the dumb cherry flan game, though.
The Caribbean being basically an open world stage was delightful! Apparently what our resident island kid needs is a big ship and tropical islands to plunder.
VISUALS AND STUFF
PRETTY LIGHTS EVERYWHERE
The long gap between the games also did wonders to the visuals.
There’s finally, FINALLY a few towns with actual NPCs you can talk to. Why it took the team so many years and the Gods know how many games is beyond me. The magic effects are beautiful, the animations smooth (honestly you can hardly tell apart cutscenes and fully rendered CGI scenes in this day and age of the PS4. I’m probably the only person still amazed by this because the only games I played on PS4 before were a few hours of Child of Light and of course Tales of Zestiria and Berseria. No, I still haven’t played FFXV but that’s a topic for another day). How far videogames have come.Even space finally looks like space, lol. Not really high-end what the PS4 can do I assume but god, it’s such an amazing and much needed upgrade from the terrible textureless colourful tubes you flew through before.
No excuse for the terrible battleship thingy before the Keyblade Graveyard, though. I got lost and beaten up so many times and crashed against more walls than I can count.
Nothing beats the World that Never Was, but the Keyblade Graveyard also has creepy cool potential, as does the beautiful but ghosted City in the Sky.
Still not getting what’s with JRPGs and very Definitely Final Dungeons (TM) that are basically space. …………or heaven. Or nothing. I’m getting the bad kind of original NGE TV series ending vibes. But. Okay.
The soundtrack is splendid
.……I miss Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, however.
Which brings us to:
THE WORLDS
I guess I can live with no more Final Fantasy characters being there (although I always loved that), and the meta jokes in Toy Story world really got me. Seeing Disney characters calling the KH villains call out on their shit was delightful. …the KH characters lampshading their own games’ sloppy dialogue writing was delightful.Still, those Disney worlds are always so much more in my head than what I actually get to play. This has been bugging me ever since the first game and it still does. I do not expect or want to replay the entire movies, but would it hurt to give the cutscenes some goddamn background music? Whenever there’s cutscenes, either the world’s usual BGM keeps playing or the music stops altogether. Together with the shortened dialogues and generally drastically shortened plots with odd cuts, that leads to scenes that are awkward at best. They never even remotely have the impact the movies had. You just sit there and think “oh wow that is so silly and awkward”.
Dancing scene in Corona? My favorite scene in Tangled. Zero impact on me without the lovely BGM (at least they made it a minigame so the moment isn’t over after 3 secs). Just for example. You can ask me like, world by world, but I can think of only exception off the top of my head and it’s not helping:
Let it Go of course. Listen guys, I actually love the song. But it’s so overused (and Frozen is an overrated movie at best that doesn’t deserve its hype in the slightest) that I can’t even really enjoy it being there. Like.

IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU,WHY DIDN’T YOU INCLUDE LITERALLY ANY OTHER ORIGINAL SONG FROM THE ORIGINAL MOVIES. Instead of BGM just not being there entirely, or in odd, cringey re-renderings that nobody wants to listen to (*cough* Atlantica *cough*).
Why torture me and not give me the one good scene from At World’s End (the up is down scene) when you had the chance?Kingdom Hearts is also prone to super lazy level design and wasting chances at wonderful scenery for no apparent reason other than I suppose empty cliffsides are quick to render. All games before did that, and KH3 is, sadly, no exception. We get to see a bit of Corona and Athens and they finally have NPCs, too, but you cannot even get near Arendelle. You cannot enter Elsa’s palace. You spend the entire time there climbing around in the snowy mountains of Norway, and unfortunately it looks less interesting than one would expect from the lovely concept art that the film unfortunately never used.You cannot enter Rapunzel’s tower although Sora can apparently parkour his way up even without her help.
………In short, the places you can go are, again, very limited, and a lot of interesting places and scenes you never get to see.
And to follow the plot you still only need the stuff that does NOT happen in those Disney worlds because they’re all beach filler episodes. It’s always been like that, but I keep wondering whether I’m the only one bothered by that. I’m also still salty they didn’t introduce a single new world from a 2D animated movie.
Also, as I said, I miss Traverse Town, it felt so warm and welcoming and beautiful.
And I get behind The World that Never Was missing although I loved it there, but why not give us back Radiant Garden? Destiny Islands since they’ve been restored? Disney Castle?
As much as I love the series, it never fucking lives up to its own potential. Idk whether it’s made more difficult by copyright issues or whatever, I just know that it bugs me.The first two games also had like twice as many worlds.
PLOT
I mean it’s never been deep; however, it’s complicated. No analysis or whatever from me because plot analysis and meta writing bore me like seven hells, just my emotional reaction: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 
Okay, bad news. I got into it expecting nothing, and still got disappointed. I don’t actually enjoy the prospect of writing essays about it, but here’s my tea with it; in not particular order:
1) the pacing is terrible. Nothing happens for like 30 hours and then suddenly like 20 characters’ arcs are (naturally poorly) resolved within the last few hours of cutscenes. Build up anyone? At least they actually did pick up Maleficent and the box thing again. …In the epilogue.
2) Speaking of build ups, Sora’s breakdown could have been developed nicely and steadily over the game to feel natural, and instead it’s hinted at in the beginning by everyone picking on him, but then it’s never further developed and comes out of fucking nowhere. Like. For real? It felt terribly OOC.
3) Why on earth have they shown 90% of the plot in the trailers already, and why are those scenes so massively disappointing in context
4) Kairi. Oh god, Kairi. What are we gonna do with you. I want to love her, I really do, but she’s a prime example of shittily written female leads. Mostly because she’s not leading. It’s not her fault. She’s just a fictional character. But honest to God, Nomura, why. Her screen time is almost nonexistent, and she’s entirely use- and helpless whenever she’s on screen (which isn’t often). Her ONLY point in the plot is being rescued because she is fucking useless. Why. Just why. Why waste her character like that. All we know is that she’s shoehorned into being the token love interest, but she has zero plot relevance and there is even less build up of her relationship with Sora. It’s all tell and NEVER show; and not even much telling, either. She has literally zero direct interaction with in the entire game before they share their paopu. The question remains: why are straights like this
5) On a related note: look, I don’t even ask for (or expect, or even hope) my ship to be canon. Squeenix doesn’t exactly have a rich history in queer representation. I’m totally fine with Sora and Riku being best friends. BUT. Building up Sora as the most important person in Riku’s life (and arguably, vice versa) over the course of several games, just to then hardly have them interact in the finale and then SUDDENLY bring back Kairi into the equation, who hasn’t interacted with him since the ending of KH2 (except for one unsent(?) letter) is just piss poor writing, period.I actually love Cray’s suggestion she gave me over Discord: let Sora, Kairi and Riku all share a paopu together (and let them group hug, too, you cowards). It would have been the perfect message to send (Sora as truly all-loving hero, and loving all your friends equally; romantic love isn’t more important than platonic love and doesn’t need to be singled out). Really sad that this isn’t what happens. Apparently that wouldn’t have been no homo enough.
LET THE DESTINY TRIO GROUP HUG YOU COWARDS

Do Riku and Kairi even interact once in the whole game?

HOW IS THIS A TRIO, IT’S JUST A SHITTILY WRITTEN LOVE TRIANGLE
6) Time travelling is a bitch, Christ. It doesn’t solve plotholes or can be played for drama, it just adds MORE plotholes. It just got WORSE. The cloning blues and people not aging doesn’t help, either.
7) Just so you know, I care absolutely zero for wild fan theories. You’re not Nomura. I want a statement from the man who wrote this shit himself why on bloody earth Sora dies when he apparently successfully found and brought back Kairi (and since nobody aged a day, apparently it didn’t even take that long lol). DUDES, THIS IS KINDA PART OF THE PLOT, AND YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EXPLAIN IT INGAME???? And how was Ienzo/Zexion able to revive Naminé while Kairi was still missing/dead/whatever…?
Okay so in short the writing is worse than ever and that’s saying something.
However, let’s try to find something good in this trainwreck; it wasn’t all bad. There’s some really nice scenes which sadly are better enjoyed without any context at all.
So, guess my favourite scenes.You had time enough, here’s the solution:
1) Purifying uhm er rescuing Aqua. Poor girl. She deserves the rest. Poor, poor Aqua. The only properly wirrten female in the whole damn franchise. Also the only person other than Riku who fucking gets shit done.
2) The Gayblade (TM)
3) Happy Axel in the reunion with his kids. Oh god, the poor chap deserves it so much. Thank you, Nomura. I don’t care that it makes pretty much no sense. Make him happy. Give him his friends back. Just give Axel all his friends and let him happily set things on fire. Hi I love Axel
4) The party at the beach cutscene before the credits roll. Axel and Xion get clothes. Half the organization is on our side now. I almost teared up at the Wayfinder trio saying goodbye to Eraqus’ forceghost. Hey come on he’s the voice of Luke Skywalker
5) Sully yeeting Vanitas
6) Woody calling out Xehanort that nobody loves him
7) Jack Sparrow bad breathing Luxord
I wish we had gotten:
1) justice for Kairi
2) a happy Zexion, the poor emo kid. Well maybe now he will be, with all the orga members who changed sides now, lol.
3) I will never trust mobile games ever again so I don’t want to play KHUX but I would have loved to learn about the Keyblade Wars :;))))

WHAT WAS THE KEYBLADE WAR ABOUT CAN WE SPEND MORE TIME IN THAT COOL CITY IN THE SKY WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIKLEO
I MEAN THAT EPHEMER KIDDO

WHAT’S WITH THE MASKED DUDES AND DUDETTES FROM THE MOVIE

WTF WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AFTER THE MOVIE???? WHERE THOSE KEYBLADE USER NAMES ACTUAL MOBILE GAME PLAYER NAMES??? Next game? PLEASE?
I really, REALLY hope the epilogue means we will get Xiggy/Luxu as our new big bad and we learn more about the five dudes and dudettes from the movie. Please. PLEASE. I’m so up for it. Them finally pickung up the bit with Maleficent and the mysterious box again? Hell yeah.
The secret movie was really unexciting in comparison, although I laughed very hard at the “Verum Rex” scene in Toy Story world. Maybe that’s why it was much cheaper to unlock than in KH1 and KH2.
4) give Ven a drink
DLC ideas I would actually pay for because I’m a sad human being: 1) more Disney worlds 2) Japanese audio 3) at least one of the following as permanently playable characters: Riku, Kairi, Axel, Ven, Aqua. At least as a guest member as in KH2. THIS SUCH A BIG STEP BACKWARDS I’M FUMING
FINAL THOUGHTS
Kingdom Hearts 3 is a hella lot of fun, beautiful, and also moving when it sets its mind to it. Unfortunately it doesn’t always do so. I don’t feel like it wasn’t worth the wait; it was. However, I’m very salty how rotten the writing is. I do not mind logical fallacies, I do not mind the cheesiness and cringeyness; however, I do mind how so many interesting characters do not get the screentime they deserve, and Kairi is a very bad joke.
I’ll probably find more to nitpick about (Gods. Just. Don’t come up with dub excuses why Sora is lv 1 in each game. JUST LEAVE IT BE. You don’t explain why Donald and Goofy are lv 1 again, either. JUST. LEAVE. IT. BE. The sacrifice was dumb and not even moving, I’m just still furious that Kairi’s ONLY point in the plot is being so useless that it’s literally getting herself KILLED and she needs constant rescuing to the point that Sora has to sacrifice himself for her, effectively. Kairi deserves better, Sora deserves better, I deserve better than to think about this absurdity.…I’m just… gonna cherry-pick the good bits from the lore and try to pretend the finale didn’t exist, I guess. GODS.
15 notes · View notes
kkruml · 6 years
Text
STAY Chapter 2
@smoakingwaffles and @missclairebelle you two are just golden and I owe you more than you know.
This story started with a prompt from @balfeheughlywed asking for tropey goodness (fun fact- that was the actual working title of the story.. I hope it lives up to the name at some point lol)
Enjoy all, and Happy Friday!
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Chapter 1
AO3 
Previously
She took a deep breath before looking up at him, a slight blush to her chees as she smiled. “Can I see your phone… just for a moment?”
His eyebrows creased in confusion, but he passed it to her without hesitation. She took it and he watched as her thumbs danced across the screen. She passed it back to him, the smile traveling across her mouth and it lit the golden hue of her eyes.
“It was nice meeting you, Jamie.” She turned without another look.
He watched her form as it disappeared around the corner and he let out a long-held breath. He looked at his phone- the screen still on “add contact.” He scrolled to “C”- finding no new entries and his smile faded. He blinked, looking back at the direction she had turned, and then back towards his phone. His thumb traveled through the alphabet to “S” and he smiled.
Sassenach.
He took a deep breath before reaching for the door, shaking his head slightly.
We are both in trouble, lass.
Claire
Well that was… unexpected.
A fun, alcohol-filled night out with Geillis was never boring, but she was not prepared for… that.
Claire closed her eyes and let her mind wander back to the night before.
The sound of his voice lingered in her ears-the soft lilt that grew stronger as he fumbled over his words. The memory made her giggle; he wasn’t the debonair ladies’ man she had imagined him to be. She saw that table of girls, and the way they looked at him. She wasn’t naïve enough to imagine he had not dated one of them… or perhaps more than one. But outside, with her, in the stillness of the spring night- he was different, unprotected, and vulnerable.
The sound of her phone buzzing snapped her from her daze. She shook her head in an effort to clear it; she was embarrassed for just how much time she had spent replaying the night before in her head.
She looked down, expecting to see Geillis’s name- undoubtedly to tell of her conquest. She saw how he had eyed Geillis; she knew her friend. They undoubtedly had left together. She scoffed at herself, thinking back to what she thought was bravery entering her number in his mobile. It wasn’t brave, it was stupid.
She was right, it was Geillis. Her finger swiped the screen as the message popped into view.
Well last night was a bust. Red headed Viking doesn’t know what he missed.
Geillis was rarely denied by anyone- if she set her eyes on someone, they were as good as hers. What had happened last night? She tapped the keys in response.
Must have gone home with the blonde, sorry lady- maybe they do have more fun? ;)
She had just enough time to glance down at the chart and read the last sentence of her notations before her phone pinged again.
No lass- he left ALONE. Dinna give ANYONE a chance at him.
He went home… alone?
He must have had something to do this morning, or there was no one he fancied at the bar, or… someone was already waiting for him at home.
Her brain swirled with a thousand possibilities to explain it. But still, she couldn’t help but hear her breathing hitch and she felt a tinge of hope flutter in the back of her mind. It was impossible, to be sure. They had only shared a few quiet moments together; he could not possibly have been interested in her. She was not his type.
Her phone buzzed again but this time she looked down at it in annoyance. Okay Geillis, I get it. Enough.
Her brows creased as an unknown number flashed across the screen.
Hope ye dinna get lost on the way home last night, Sassenach.
She stared at the text. A deep rush of heat filled her cheeks and her heart pounded in her chest.
He went home alone.
He just texted me.
But... WHY?
Her fingers shook slightly as they hovered over the keyboard- waiting. What should I say?
She thought for a moment, smiled, and let her finger swipe across the screen.
JAMIE
He held his breath, waiting.
Last night he had counted the moments until his set was done, packed his guitar in one swift motion, and exited out the back door. Sleep had come quickly; his last thoughts were of whisky amber eyes and a smile that warmed him to his backbone. He woke up this morning more clear-eyed than he had in a while.
And his bed? It was empty.
No pang of regret, no awkward shuffle out the door after an awkward goodbye. He stretched his limbs to the four corners of the mattress, testing out the expanse of space without some unknown face next to him. It was an odd feeling- and for some reason it was not all that unpleasant.
He rotated his phone in his hand, fingers fidgeting with the case as he waited. She’s just one lass, why do I care so much?
He nearly dropped his phone as it buzzed in his hand.
Was that a dig to my sensibilities or the fact that I’m a… what was that word? ‘Outlander’?
So she was a witty one, too.
He chuckled at her response, shifting his position in bed slightly as he considered his reply.  He smiled as his fingers tapped the screen.
I see ye havena lost yer Gaelic since I last saw ye.
He wondered what other words she would know. He smiled as a list of words he wanted to teach her formed in his mind.
I can feel your concern from here, it’s quite charming.
Another quiet laugh, his eyes focused on each word of her text.
Aye, it was either that or ask if my singin’ scared ye off.
He didn’t know this woman, yet he felt a connection to her- a closeness he hadn’t felt with anyone in… a long time.
She was practically a stranger, and yet at the same time, so familiar. He chewed on his bottom lip, waiting.
He saw the text before his phone even made a sound.
Close, but not quite ;)
A wink. That was a good sign. He felt a bit braver.
Might need ye to give me some singin’ tips then.
Three bubble populated, and he waited.
Bars aren’t usually my scene- they let anyone on stage these days.
That wasn’t a NO. He tapped one finger against his leg as he considered his options. Time to ask. Keep it simple- nothing serious.
Perhaps over coffee, then?
Three bubbles populated on his screen almost instantaneously- and then disappeared, and he felt his stomach drop. This was supposed to be casual, why am I so nervous?
He needed to know more about this Sassenach. He wasn’t satisfied with one night, just a few fleeting moments with her. His phone vibrated again, interrupting his thoughts, and his eyes darted to the screen.
Not much of a coffee fan...
His smile faded as his heart sank. Did she just turn him down? Another ping sent his heart into overdrive.
  …How about tea?
His smile returned in full force, spreading wide across his lips. He rested his head back against the pillow, allowing for a deep intake of air. He wasn’t used to putting in effort to get a date, but it wasn’t just that- it was her. She was different.  He allowed himself one more moment of exhilaration, coupled with relief, before responding- his smile still firmly fixed on his face.
CLAIRE
She checked her phone again- 2:15pm. He was late.
Was I being stood up? Was he playing me for a fool? Damn you Jamie.
She shook her head as a series of four-letter words rattled in her mind. They had agreed on her favorite café around the corner from the hospital. He had asked to meet that day but she had the sterile smell of the hospital in her hair and the fatigue of a long shift aching in her bones, so they agreed on two o’clock the following day.
Her tea had cooled and she stared at the remaining liquid in her mug. She was considering abandoning the remnants just as the door kicked open and she felt a gust of air hit her back, a few stray curls fluttering around her face. Before she could blink, a large figure rushed by her and took up residence in the chair facing her.  
“I’m late, I ken.” He was breathing deeply, trying to catch his breath.
“Yes, you are.” Her tone was flat and she moved to push her seat from the table.
“Please, dinna leave-”His eyes widened as he raised one hand in gesture to stop her. He stuttered, his words coming fast, “I’m sorry, Claire.”
She paused, frozen by his words and the sound of her name off his tongue.  She watched him for a moment, seeing his chest rise and fall; she could hear his breath as it shook, as well as his attempt to steady it. She shifted back into her seat but kept her eyes trained on him, eyebrows raised as she waited for an explanation.
“I’m sae sorry, I… to say that is… I was ju-“his accent was thick again as he tried to speak. His mouth opened and closed more than once before he shook his head as he ran one large hand through his auburn curls. “Christ… I dinna ken what it is, but ye seem to… knock me off kilter.”
She fought to keep a straight face but failed, letting an earnest laugh erupt from her chest.
“Are ye laughin’ at me?” His voice was a mix of exasperation and curiosity as he cocked his head to the side.
Between breaths she nodded with a smile, “Yes I believe… I am.”
He met her gaze, laughing softly with her as well. He faltered slightly as she brushed a stray curl from her face. He cleared his throat, his eyes glancing at her mug. “Can I buy ye another cup of tea?”
She eyed him for a moment, seeing the faint glimmer of sweat on his forehead and twitch of his fingers against the table. A slight smile pulled at her lips as she nodded, “Oolong, please.”
His shoulders visibly relaxed and he let out a small sigh. He returned the smile as he stood up and headed towards the counter. Her eyes lingered on his form and she watched the barista’s reaction to him. She smiled to herself, letting herself feel a pride in being here with him.
He returned quickly, a fresh mug held out for her and a cup of coffee in his other hand. She reached for her tea and their fingers touched; she felt a warm current course through her, and she wasn’t sure if it was the heat from the mug or the touch of his fingertip. If he had felt it, he didn’t let on as he settled into his seat across from her, taking a long sip before he spoke.
“So, how long have ye been in town?”
“Just a few weeks. I transferred to the surgical program.” She grew quiet, eyes focused on a droplet of tea running down the side of her mug. “Seemed like a good time for a change.”
She felt his eyes on her as she took another sip, feeling the warmth of the tea trickle down her throat.
“How about you?” she asked, shifting the focus and trying for a lighter topic. “You’re from the Highlands, right?”
“Oh aye- a Highlander, born and raised. Havena lived in Edinburgh too long myself.” His finger traced the rim of his mug.
Their conversation flowed easily, but he was particular in steering clear of anything too personal, no mention of a partner or other ties. She didn’t ask, but she wondered just what he was deflecting- and why.
She spoke about the hospital and her work- the excitement of surgery paired with the exhaustion of late nights and long shifts. He listened attentively, waiting for a pause or for her to sip her tea before asking a question.  
“… and finally Geillis told me we were going out to get plastered, and that’s how we ended up at the pub that night.” She shook her head remembering that night, and she paused at the memory of his eyes meeting hers for the first time. She sipped the last of her tea and carefully placed the mug back down on the table.
His voice was quiet but he spoke with conviction as he kept his eyes hooded, “Remind me some day to thank her, aye?”
He eyed her mug, tilting his own to see it empty. He glanced up just long enough to see her eyeing him and he smiled.
“I don’t do this often,” his voice was steady but she thought she caught a hint of wonder.
She winked as she smiled and asked, “What’s that- drink coffee?”
“No.” A faint smile formed but shook his head, “Go on dates.”
“Oh, you think this was a date?” Her voice was teasing but she felt her heart beat against her rib cage as she enjoyed the illusion of thinking it was. She sat back and waited, expecting a flirty response or even a new Gaelic word she would need to learn. He raised one eyebrow as she felt her breath pause.
“I was just hoping.” He said simply, looking at her with an openness that caught her off guard.
She stared at him for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Each time she expected a cocky attitude, he disarmed her with vulnerability. “… And if it was?”
He smiled, “Just wait and see what I have in store for date number two.”
He tried, and failed at a wink and she laughed again, feeling her heart flutter as his blue eyes pierced through her.
381 notes · View notes
jae-daddy · 6 years
Text
Holic (8)
Jaebum AU
one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / nine / ten / eleven
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Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader
Genre: Drama, Romance, Mature
Plot: When the nights are cold and full of monsters, all you need is the warmth of someone to make it all disappear.
a/n: I will finish this before 15 april lol, i already have so many other series planned. but, i hope y’all enjoy this! 
You stood outside Jaebum’s door with sweaty palms and a pounding heart. 
It was well past one in the morning, and you knew you were going to suffer through another sleepless night if you just simply lay in bed. 
After scrolling through the same google articles about ways to sleep without drugs. Jaebum’s words from that afternoon in the garden flashed through your mind. 
If you ever have those nightmares again, I’m less than a door away.
‘That’s right,’ you nodded as you tried to reassure yourself. You didn’t come here on your own will, you were just taking up his offer so you don’t be rude. 
You were cruel, manipulative, but rude you were not. 
You let out a deep sigh as you fisted your hands and brought it up to the wooden door standing tall in front of you. 
You quickly landed three short knocks on his door; your lips caught between your teeth, and your nails biting faster into your palms. 
You watched the light peering from underneath the door, and you felt somewhat relieved. 
You were glad you weren’t waking Jaebum up from his slumber because your monsters were clawing at your feet during dark nights like tonight. You didn’t want to burden him with your problems. 
He shouldn’t have to share it anyway; he was your husband only in name. He was your husband, simply because he was your groom. 
Jaebum shouldn’t have to deal with your problems. 
“Hi,” Jaebum’s suited body greeted you with a raised eyebrow and somewhat surprised face. 
“Hi,” you replied, meekly, as you wrapped the silky gown tighter around your body. “I couldn’t sleep, so I’m here to take up your offer.”
Jaebum’s lips quirked with an amused smile, making you glare at him in return. 
“I’m thankful that you did.” He replied, bringing a hand up to his heart in a dramatic gesture, bowing slightly, as he moved to the side letting you step through. 
“I didn’t want to be rude,” you responded with your chin high, as your body brushed past his. 
You were lying in his bed, under the dark green covers of his king size bed. 
You smiled as you took a deep breath in; the sheets smelled off Jaebum.
From far away, you’d think he’d smell like an expensive man in expensive cologne. That scent was there, but it was so miniscular, it was hidden beneath everything his warmth carried naturally. 
Jaebum smelled like the peak of a wintery mountain. He smelled of the rainforest, rain and of laundry and soap. 
You felt like you were crazy, thinking about how Jaebum smelt. Even crazier for remembering how smelt over all the years you’ve known him. 
In the beginning, he smelt of cake and freshly baked cookies. You always found that a bit off on someone who barely entered the kitchen, but you still welcomed it. 
You would always steal a sniff while playing house, then fight Jaebum, when he’d notice and call you out on it. 
“I see you still like sniffing things,” Jaebum’s voice made you jump in your spot. 
You pulled the blanket from your nose and turned to him with accusation in your voice. 
“I see you’re still imaging things,” you retorted with a confident voice, even though your heart was failing to return to its calm beat, after being caught in your crime. 
Jaebum shot you an eye roll, before turning off the lights as he walked towards the bed. 
“You know, if you were in Harry Potter,” you told Jaebum as he stood on the other side of the bed, untying his robe as he looked at you. “You’d probably be in Slytherin?”
Jaebum gave you an annoyed look, as he pulled the robe off his shoulders revealing his bare chest. Your cheeks painted red, and you tried to look away, but you didn’t want to seem weak. 
Therefore, instead of following the hardness and curves of his stomach and toned chest that called out to you. You zeroed into his eyes with a straight face. 
“We took the tests as kids, y/n,” he sighed, as he lifted the blankets beside you. “I was in Gryffindor.”
“We both know that was just your hero complex, and your desire to be like Harry Potter that took the quiz, not the real you.” You rolled your eyes at him, as the lazy smile danced on his pink lips. 
“Yeah, well, it is what it is,” he grinned at you. “I am in Gryffindor.”
“But truly belong in Slytherin,” you sang teasingly. 
“Just because you’re in it,” he stuck his tongue out before he lay down beside you. “You always want me beside you, don’t you?” 
“Do not,” you retorted instantly. 
“Then what’s this?” He smiled at you, with a challenging gaze.
“I’m just taking up your offer,” you pouted, before frowning. “However, if it’s too much of an inconvenience then I’ll just leave.” 
You trailed off, as you began climbing out. 
Before you could properly peel the sheets off yourself, Jaebum grabbed onto your wrist and pulled you down beside him. 
He wrapped his arms around you and hid your face in the crook of his neck. 
“Stay,” was all his soft low voice said.
Jaebum’s fingers ran through your hair, calming you and your racing heart, as his other hand wrapped around your waist. Your chest pressed against his bare one; the heat of his skin burning through the flimsy silk of your nightdress. 
“Why were you still wearing your suit when I knocked?” You hummed softly, as you finally rested your hands on his skin. 
You bit your lip to hide the giddy smile that was threatening to spill as you felt little jolts spark run from your palms and travel up your arm. 
“Because I was still working,” he sighed, as his fingertips drew small circles on your lower back. 
“So late?” You asked and felt him nod.
“One can say I’m a workaholic,” he paused for a moment, before changing the subject. “What about you? Why’d you come so late?”
You swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat, managing to reply in a raspy voice. 
“I had another nightmare, and you told me that I could come over, so I did.” 
“You did the right thing. Well done, y/n,” he commented, as he hugged you tighter. 
You both lay in silence for a few minutes, lost in thought and the sounds of your gentle heartbeats. 
“What happens in your nightmare?” he asked, softly. 
“It’s different parts of the same torture, but it’s always the same theme: me getting kidnapped.” You spoke after a few moments. “Some days they are taking me away. In some, I’m in the same dark room again, and I’m crying and yelling but no one can hear me. Sometimes, I hear them laugh through the door, and I try to stay quiet so they don’t come inside.”
“Y/n,” Jaebum blew out softly, as you choked on the threatening tears. “You don’t have to say it-”
“No,” you cut him off, quietly. “I’ve never told anyone this, and maybe this will help, you know?” 
You felt him nod against the top of your head, and you smiled lightly. 
“The worst of the nightmare is when I get home. 
“No one cared, Jaebum.” You shook your head with the bad memory replaying, not noticing your nails digging into Jaebum’s lower back. 
“They didn't ask me if I was alright, or if I was hurt. All they did was do damage control.” You smiled cynically at the memory of you returning home to your family. 
Your parents weren’t worried about you at all. 
Their faces were calculating their next moves on how to keep this away from the public. They didn’t care for the scars you had etched on your body, all they cared about was how to hide them.
“I cried for hours that night. I cried and cried, and I wished someone had walked into my room earlier and have realised I was gone. I wished someone would’ve found me sooner.” 
You let out a shaky breath, as you fisted the blankets between Jaebum and you. 
That night when you had returned, you wished with all your heart that Jaebum was there. That this moment was the moment he fulfilled his promise and returned back from wherever his parents took him. 
You had stared at the door, and counted to a hundred a million times, hoping Jaebum would walk in any second. 
“What I really wanted- needed- that night was for someone to walk in through those doors, and just hold me and tell me that I was okay, that I would get through this.”
That was the night you got over everyone and everything. 
That night you let go of Jaebum completely and shut him out. You wouldn’t even open up to your sister anymore, and you gave up on your parents entirely. 
“But no one did,” you hiccuped, as the memory closed on your throat. “No one gave me a second glance, while I waited in my room for them. No one came to help me because it was my sister’s birthday party downstairs.”
“I’m here now,” Jaebum whispered into your hair, as held you close to his flushed body. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you then, but I’m here now, and I’ll always be here.”
“I will protect you with everything that I have and am, y/n,” he moved back, his eyes searching your face, before staring into yours. 
Even in the dim lit room, glittering in the moonlight, you could see the raw emotions of love and affection dance in his eyes. 
You gulped under his intense gaze, as he looked at you as if you were the stars and moon on a cloudless summer night. 
“I promise. I will keep you safe,” he whispered, his hot minty breath falling on your parted lips. 
“You are so fucking magnificent, y/n.” He pressed his forehead against yours, as he squeezed his eyes shut. 
His large tender hands brushed the sides of your faces, as one tucked a loose strand behind your ear. 
“If you knew how much you meant to me,” his lazy smile returned to his lips, but as his eyes opened again, the same loving emotions remained. “You would think I’m stupid.”
You watched as his eyes trailed down to your lips for a few moments, before meeting your dark ones again. 
You felt yourself do the same, and you gulped with nervousness. 
One hand of his, dropped to your waist, squeezing it ever so slightly. You moved closer to his body, leaving no distance between your bodies.
Your palms lay flat against his chest, the hasty beating of his heart vibrating through your veins making you dizzy as it mingled with your own. 
“You’re lucky then,” you whispered, breathless,  as you moved closer to him.
Your lips hovered over his, and you noticed the nervous bobbing of his Adam's apple. 
His dark brown eyes stared at you, and you grinned up at him. 
“You’re lucky because I think you’re the biggest fool I’ve ever met.” 
You placed your hands on the side of his face before gently placing your lips on his. 
You smiled at the softness of his lips, and the faintly tightening grip of hands on your body. You smiled as you felt a jolt of happiness rush through you, as he kissed you back, 
You moved away from the lingering kiss, as you bit your lip nervously. 
“But I’m starting to think I’m a bigger fool.” 
You peered into his eyes feeling your lips tingle from the innocent peck, as your hearts beat faster than it did before.
You smiled at him with the softness of the cold winter morning breeze, and Jaebum returned one that filled your heart with sunshine. 
“You have no idea how crazy you drive me, y/n,” Jaebum told you with dark eyes and tender words. His fingertips lightly brushed the stray hair away from your face. 
“You can tell me anything you want, Jaebum,” you whispered back, in a low voice. “But, I won’t believe half it.”
Jaebum smiled at that and returned the knowing grin. 
“So just believe this one thing,” he whispered into your ear, as he tucked your head to his beating heart. “I will always back to you.”
You sunk closer into his arms, welcoming the heaviness of your eyes Jaebum’s heat brought.
“And so will my heart.” You heard his low voice breath before you fell into a peaceful slumber after a long long time. 
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howsit-going-toend · 7 years
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My Best Friend’s Girlfriend Pt. 1
A Kim Jiwon x Reader One Shot scenario
Genre: Angst
Word count: 3,300+
Summary: You’ve always said that you’re happy for him…But do you mean it?
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Stupid. Stupid. Stupid…
For nearly a year, that was the only word that could pull you back into reality; to stop all your silly daydreaming, reminiscing through old photos, and every remotely hopeful “what if…”
In the blink of an eye, it seemed as though he was gone from your life; and you took every last shred of responsibility for it.
You sat in silence, curled up in a ball on the floor by your bed, sniffing back the few tears that had accompanied another moment of weakness. You locked your phone, casting darkness on the screen that illuminated a series of messages that had been met with zero replies.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid…
You knocked the back of your head against your bed in perfect cadence with your inner scolding. You had to be bothering him at this point. He probably saw you appear on his lock screen and immediately dismissed the notifications. Or better yet, completely turned his phone off.
He was probably with her… and God knows how much she loved seeing your name on his phone.
You ran your hands across your face and groaned loudly. Jiwon was supposed to be your best friend. Nothing more and nothing less. He’s been the only constant in your life, just as you’ve always been in his.
The two of you were in college now, living in towns far away from where you’d grown up together, and living with your own daily struggles. This lack of communication should be expected, right? Maybe you were just overthinking it, like you overthink everything. That was definitely possible. Maybe he really is just busy and you’ll hear from him again soon enough.
You sighed quietly. There you go again.
After what had happened the last time you saw each other, you knew better. You knew it was your fault. You shouldn’t have been alone with him. That’s what she wanted and you should have respected that.
As the images from that day began to replay in your mind for the millionth time, you were startled by the sound of your phone vibrating.
You exhaled, assuming it was one of your floormates that had wanted you to join their group for drinks that night. On any other night, you would have agreed, but you had to be up bright and early to make the long drive back to your hometown for winter break.
As you lazily turned your phone over from its face-down position on the floor, you gasped at the notification.
Jiwon (2)
You squeezed your eyes shut for a brief moment and stared back at the screen. Was this real? He actually replied? After nearly a year of no contact while you’d both been away at school and no mentions of whenever you could meet up again, he was reaching out to you?
Before swiping your thumb across the screen to open the message, you mentally prepared yourself to be disappointed. His older brother or one of his other friends was probably just messing with you.
But when you read the messages, a smile appeared on your face as you were proven wrong.
Jiwon: Hey!!! Long time no see! I’m real sorry we haven’t talked in a while L I’ve been insanely busy up here and haven’t really talked to anyone. I promise I’m not ignoring you.
Jiwon: But I’m coming back home in a couple days for break! Are you coming back soon?
Your heart warmed as you replied without a moment’s hesitation; your thumbs moved faster than any voices in your head telling you not to seem so eager.
Y/N: Yeah I’m coming home tomorrow! It’s been a long time dude
Within just a few short minutes, the past twelve months completely vanished from your memory. You set the phone down, telling yourself to check again in about half an hour or so. You didn’t want any hopes to carry you away again.
Not even a full minute had passed before you heard vibrations once more. You couldn’t help but crack another smile; he’s always been the one to text you back almost instantly.
Jiwon: Too long.
Jiwon: Soomi and I were talking about doing something Saturday with Jiun. You should come with us!
Y/N: …You sure that’d be ok?
Jiwon: uhhh yeah?
Your eyebrows furrowed as you reread the unexpected invitation. Normally you would have agreed to hang out with him and his brother, Jiun, without question. But given his girlfriend’s preexisting feelings and this past year of silence, you decided to approach it with more caution.
Then it all made sense.
He used to delete your text conversations whenever either of you would acknowledge how Soomi felt about your friendship. But now seeing him openly deter from that topic, you knew it was because she really was there next to him. You’d be lying to yourself if you said that didn’t make you a little nervous now.
Jiwon: We’re probably going to the ice rink!
You looked at the incoming text and couldn’t help but chuckle. She was definitely nearby.
Y/N: Oh. I assumed you’d say the usual bowling lol
Jiwon: Nope, ice skating
Y/N: Wow. YOU, ice skating?
Y/N: Looks like I might finally have a chance to be better than you at something.
Jiwon: Nah, I’m good at everything. Come on, you know this
Y/N: Therrrre’s the Jiwon I know lol I’m in
Jiwon: Yes!!! Ok I’ll talk to you on Saturday. Drive safe coming into town, ok?
Y/N: Yes mom. You too!
You placed your phone on your nightstand before joyfully leaping into bed, wearing the world’s biggest smile on your face. You were on cloud nine for the rest of the night and the entire drive home the following morning. It didn’t even matter that you’d started that night off crying and beating yourself up over what could never be changed.
All that mattered and all you could think about now was that you were finally going to see your best friend again.
That morning, you walked out to your parents’ kitchen and leaned on the marble island to watch your mom cook. “Guess who I’m going to hang out with tomorrow night.” You stated with that same big grin on your face.
“Who?” She asked without removing her gaze from the fried omelet she was carefully folding.
“Guess.” You repeated.
She paused. “Hmmm…Jisu?”
“No.”
“Sarah?”
“Nope.”
Another pause. “Uhhhh, Mina?”
“No, mom, Jiwon!” You revealed, impatiently.
She whipped her head around to look at you. “Really?! Oh how nice!” She replied, overjoyed; to which you rolled your eyes and chuckled.
Both your parents have always loved Jiwon as if he was their own son; especially your mom. Growing up you could have walked into the house, told your mom you were going to rob a bank and she would have lost her mind. But if you said that you were doing so with Jiwon, she would have said “Ok, just don’t be late for dinner!”
You smirked to yourself as you remembered this while continuing to lean on the counter. You didn’t even notice your dad had entered the room to sit at the dining room table with his laptop.
“Does Soomi know about that?” He questioned, peering at you above his glasses.
Your mom sighed and looked at you with an expression that read “oh here we go.”
You nodded to her with a smile before you replied to your dad in a sassy tone. “Yeah, in fact, she’s going to be there.”
Your mom smiled at you, while your father shrugged his shoulders and returned his sights to his laptop screen. “Ok then, I hope you have fun.”
“Dad, what’s the big deal?”
He rose his eyebrows and shook his head. “Nothing. I just thought she didn’t want you two hanging out with each other anymore.”
You silently cursed yourself for telling him about that. “Just not alone. But if we’re in a group then it’s ok. Dad, I haven’t seen him in so long, and I miss him a lot, ok? She and his brother will both be there, so it’s fine.” You replied, defensively.
“Ok, ok. I’m just making sure is all.”
Your mom gave him a look before she turned back to you with a smile. You were more than grateful when she changed the subject.
Your dad’s concerns had formed a knot in your stomach that stayed for majority of the next day. All you could think about was Soomi. You continuously wondered whether your response to his words were really intended to convince him… or yourself. Maybe this was a bad idea.
Your mind went back and forth countless times, until it was finally time for you to go to the rink. Jiwon had called you earlier in the day to let you know that they’d pick you up at 7, and as you glanced at your phone, you noticed it was 6:55. You took a deep breath as you tried to exhale all of your anxieties. No turning back now.
“You look cute.” Your mom commented, revealing her presence near the front door.
You laughed, knowing you weren’t wearing anything outside of your typical winter attire. “Mom, are you just hovering so you can see Jiwon?”
She immediately crossed her arms. “You’re not the only one who’s missed him, ok?” She replied defensively.
You continued to laugh lightly at her until a rhythmic knock at the door silenced you. Your mom looked in your direction with an amused face before slowly reaching for the handle. You rolled your eyes with a smile and allowed her to have the first reunion.
As she swung the door open, a warmth instantly returned to your chest as the face that you’d missed the most appeared.
“Jiwon! Oh, it’s so good to see you!” Your mom announced with her hands clasped together.
“Hey mom!” He replied while waving excitedly with both hands. The sound of his voice made you smile even wider. He always called your parents “mom” and “dad” as if they were his own.
“How have you been, sweetie?”
“I’m great! School is going well. I got on the dean’s list this past semester so that’s pretty cool I guess.” He replied nonchalantly.
“Oh, that’s not surprising at all. I’m so happy to hear it. How are your parents?” Your mom continued while you took that as your cue to step further into the doorway.
“Ok, mom, I know you want to catch up with your favorite child but we do have somewhere to be soon.” You announced.
Jiwon and you then locked eyes for the first time, making you both grin from ear to ear. He waved at you and you waved back. “Long time no see.”
He chuckled at your words before looking back to your mom. “We can catch up again the next time I’m over!”
She definitely loved that. “Perfect! You know you’re welcome over any time. I’ll let you two go now. Have fun, ok?”
As she and Jiwon exchanged their goodbyes, you kissed her cheek before turning to walk outside and join him. Your smile remained intact while you both made your way to the running car in the driveway. Once the front door had closed, he nudged your shoulder with his elbow. “Does your mom still think I’m cute?” He asked with a smirk.
You shoved him back in response. “Of course she does. Shut up.”
He laughed while pretending to be injured by your touch. As you approached the car, your smile completely dissolved when you made eye contact with the driver.
Soomi looked back at you through the window with a big grin and waved excitedly. You waved back as a chill ran down your spine. You quickly told yourself to not make any other sort of physical contact with Jiwon for the rest of the night.
It seemed that a year apart hadn’t changed Soomi’s attitude towards you at all. She’s always been nice to your face and still had fun around you; but you knew it was fake. She definitely liked to play that “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” kind of game.
You were all too grateful for Jiun’s presence that saved you whenever Soomi pulled Jiwon close on the ice rink and skated off, distancing themselves from you.
“You ok, kid?” He nudged your shoulder while the two of you skated in tandem.
“Yeah, I’m good. I’m just happy to see you guys.” You replied with a sad smile.
Jiun was the only person you’ve ever been comfortable with talking to about all of this. He’d taken notice every time you’d interacted with Jiwon that night, and every time Soomi appeared the least bit upset by it. You sighed and continued skating and conversing, just trying to remind yourself to be happy that you were seeing them at all.
After about an hour or so, you’d found yourself skating on your own. You paced through the crowd, slowly moving around the rink while random pop music blared through the speakers.
You took a deep breath, and as you watched the light fog that accompanied your exhale, you heard the sound of skates coming to a sudden stop near you.
“Hey! You doing ok?” Jiwon shouted, making you nearly fall on your ass.
“Yeah I’m good!” You shouted back, mockingly, before looking around to see that he was alone. “Where’s Soomi?”
“Oh, she went to the bathroom.” He stated, pointing towards one of the rink exits. “Are you sure you’re ok though?” He asked, this time in a more serious tone.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I promise. Don’t worry about me. Are you having fun?” You asked, ensuring to continuously look around for any sights of his girlfriend.
“I’m having a blast, honestly. I’m really glad you’re here.” He said with a warm smile.
You smiled back, despite feeling like you’d barely spent any time with him. “Me too.”
“Hey you two!” Jiun’s voice chimed in as he skated in between the two of you and put his arms around your shoulders. After quickly recovering your balance, you looked up to notice Soomi had returned to the ice and was carefully scanning the rink. You then looked to Jiun, who had to have known just how impeccable his timing was.
The four of you skated around, laughing together for the next half hour. All along, you made a conscious effort to not look Jiwon in the eye for any prolonged period of time, nor skate directly next to him. You also ensured to acknowledge Soomi as often as possible and try to make her feel included in every conversation. Despite how much you policed yourself, you were genuinely having fun.
That is, until Jiwon separated himself to try to show off.
It was just like him to do whatever he could to get a laugh out of the group and make sure everyone felt good. But as he lifted one leg off the ice to attempt some trick, a small child got in his path. He realized this almost immediately and put his other leg down to narrowly avoid running them over. But as he skated by them, his leg that had been supporting most of his body weight decided to give out.
It all happened in a matter of seconds. It felt like you’d just blinked your eyes and he was suddenly on the ice, clutching his right knee and wincing. In all the years you’ve known him, you’ve only ever seen him wince like that on two other occasions; this had to be bad.
Everything stopped.
“Jiwon!” the three of you shouted in near perfect unison.
As your fight-or-flight response told your leg muscles to skate closer to him, you remembered what you told yourself earlier. You immediately slowed down, and allowed Soomi and Jiun to rush to his side, while you looked for an employee.
Once help arrived, along with a decent number of onlookers, you returned to the ice. A staff member assisted Jiun in lifting Jiwon and while the crowd cheered, your eyes darted to the area where he fell. You noticed a small, red, woven bracelet and instantly recognized it as his. You quickly skated over to pick it up so that you could be a little more involved and return it to him. But as you exited the rink and turned to walk it in the direction of him, his girlfriend stopped you.
“I’ll take that.” She announced with a big smile on her face as she held her palm out.
Your eyes went to look for Jiun for backup, but you knew he was busy comforting his injured brother. As you paused, you glanced down at the bracelet and saw that it was embroidered with something; he and Soomi’s anniversary.
And right there on the wrist held outwards in your direction, beckoning, was the identical counterpart.
You sighed and dropped the bracelet in her hand, defeated, as you returned to your spot on the sidelines.
“Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” You said over your shoulder with a small voice. You couldn’t tell if she didn’t hear you, or merely pretended not to, but she just turned around and walked away without a word.
After that, you watched everything from afar. You watched as Jiun sat on the ground, staring at his younger brother’s knee with intense concern in his eyes. You knew how hard he was probably trying to get Jiwon’s stubborn ass to go to the hospital. You wanted nothing more than to aid in convincing him to go. You wanted to include yourself and ensure that he would be ok. But you continued to tell yourself that it was best you didn’t push it. It wasn’t your place.
You found your gaze lingering the longest on Soomi.
You watched as she sat beside Jiwon and held onto his hand tightly, making him look to her and smile. You saw her smile back and rub the back of his hand with her other, gently, while they just stared into each other’s eyes. You read her perfectly shaped lips say those three beautiful words, before connecting them to Jiwon’s and sharing a quick peck. Her forehead lingered against the side of his before falling to lay comfortably against his shoulder, while he broke from their moment to say something to his brother.
As your eyes continued to stare at their intertwined fingers, you blinked your eyes, suddenly noticing that they’d filled with tears.
With the amount of times you’d said the word to yourself over the past year, you’d never felt more stupid than you did in that moment.
How stupid you were for tagging along tonight. How incredibly selfish you must be to have wanted time with Jiwon, specifically without Soomi around, even after what happened last year. She’s his girlfriend. Not you. How could you claim to be his best friend and want what’s best for him, but allow your own feelings to get in the way of that when he actually finds someone? How could you claim to be happy for him when you know how much of a god damn lie that has always been?
How could you think that he could ever love you back?
As the memories of that one night flooded your mind once again, you wiped the tears from your eyes in frustration. You shouldn’t have been alone with him. That was what she wanted and you should have respected that. You silently repeated over again.
But as you tried to convince yourself to forget that anything ever happened, your clouded vision caught sight of the one thing that reminded you why that was impossible. As you locked eyes with Jiwon, who’d searched the crowd for your face as Soomi’s head lay peacefully on his shoulder, you saw him smile at you sadly. That smile, that you loved more than anything, made you remember;
Jiwon, your best friend, had been the one to kiss you first that night.
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junker-town · 4 years
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I rewatched Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS and it was magical
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It took nearly six hours and 14 innings, but the Red Sox made it happen. 
My heart sank when my baseball-loving kid asked when we were going to watch a game again. Then I remembered after the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series I bought the full set of games on DVD, including the entire American League Championship Series. Having never actually watched any of the discs, I vaguely remembered stashing them in a box that had somehow made its way from Philly to Boston by way of several Cambridge apartments.
Eureka! I still had them.
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Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images
We started with Game 4 of the ALCS against the Yankees because even in a quarantine I wouldn’t bother with the first three games. My kid soon became familiar with Papi, Manny, and the whole gang of Idiots. He promptly proved his Masshole bonafides, yelling, “Come on Millah!” when Kevin Millar came up to bat in the ninth against Mariano Rivera. For the record, neither my wife nor I have a Boston accent and he doesn’t either. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was a proud moment.
My wife, incidentally, couldn’t care less about baseball, but she has fond memories of staying up late with her friends, living and dying with every pitch. When Dave Roberts stole second, she screamed like it was happening in real time.
Game 4 was iconic, of course. The whole sequence belongs in a time capsule. Starting with Millar’s walk to Dave Roberts’ steal through Bill Mueller knocking the great Mariano Rivera off the mound with the game-tying single like he was Charlie Brown in a Peanuts strip. And then, much, much later, Big Papi’s home run. Game 6 was even more famous with the whole bloody sock thing, while Game 7 was just pure cathartic release.
But Game 5 — holy shit, Game 5. I had forgotten how magically insane it was. Over 14 innings and almost six hours, it was like watching a slow-motion nightmare unfold only to emerge in a blissy dream state where unicorns are real and it ain’t over ‘til Big Papi takes a swing.
To set the scene, Game 4 ended after midnight, meaning Game 5 took place literally the same day. Your starters were Mike Mussina and Pedro Martinez, making perhaps his last start in a Boston uniform.
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Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images
The Sox took an early 2-0 lead but couldn’t bust out a big inning against Mussina, who settled down and pitched a gem. Martinez was also dealing, but that pitch count was rising higher as we got to the sixth with the Sox leading, 2-1, which is when I started taking notes.
Martinez is getting up near 100 pitches. I forgot that after 100 pitches he turned into Ramiro Mendoza. Thankfully, Joe Buck is here to remind us. Tim McCarver thinks pitch counts are overrated and now I’m yelling at McCarver to shut the fuck up. (For future reference, STFUTM will serve as shorthand.)
Earlier, he told an incredibly random story about Trinidad Hubbard that made absolutely no sense. Hard to believe, but there really was a point when McCarver was an insightful announcer. Happens to all of them, eventually.
Martinez gets Bernie Williams to pop up, but Jorge Posada reaches on a quirky infield single and Ruben Sierra follows with another hit. I’ve seen this movie before. It ends badly. Tony Clark strikes out and now it’s up to Miguel Cairo. Martinez just hit Cairo to load the bases. 2004 me is yelling at Terry “Tito” Francona: “GET HIM OUTTA THERE, FRANCONA.”
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Photo by Linda Cataffo/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images
Tito leaves Martinez in to pitch to Jeter and Buck notes that Jeter hasn’t put his stamp on this series yet. Oh God. The inside-out swing. The slicing line drive landing in right. Three runs are going to score. I’ll go to my grave saying Prime Nomar was better, but it would really help if Captain Intangibles stopped doing stuff like this.
Looked like Cairo may have been out at the plate, but it’s real close. You know what this game doesn’t have? Replay review. There were at least eight plays by my count that would have been subject to replay review and this game would still be playing if that was the case. We got along fine without reviewing every close play and I would like to return to that nebulous state of affairs when the world stops burning.
You know what else this game doesn’t have? Fans on cell phones. Everyone is hanging on every pitch and it’s beautiful. I know this because the broadcast keeps cutting away to the stands and I’ve seen the same woman clasping her hands in prayer between pitches a dozen times. Pretty sure I’ve seen her at the Fresh Pond Trader Joes.
LOL, Martinez plunked Alex Rodriguez just because he could. McCarver doesn’t like it. STFUTM. Now Gary Sheffield walks to load the bases. Um, Tito? I think you can go get him now. Francona leaves Martinez in and he gets Hideki Matsui to fly out. Good job, Tito.
The Yankees had a chance to break it open in the eighth, but Mike Timlin gets A-Rod to pop up with a runner on third and one out. This was A-Rod’s chance to be a True Yankee and he blew it. Shame, really.
On we go to the bottom of the eighth and it’s time for the WebMD update. Today’s injury is a broken heart. Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.
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Photo by Keith Torrie/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images
Here comes Papi and he takes Tom Gordon over the Monster and off the Volvo sign. I miss the Volvo sign. Now Millar, who draws another walk. Dude could take a walk like nobody else. Roberts comes in to pinch run and Gordon throws over a half dozen times. He’s clearly rattled. It’s happening again.
We’ve officially reached the moment where Francona becomes a super genius. Everyone keeps expecting Roberts to steal second, but Tito calls for the hit-and-run and Trot Nixon executes it perfectly sending a line drive single to right center. God bless that dirtbag right fielder.
First and third, nobody out and Joe Torre calls on Rivera. Officially this will go down as a blown save when Jason Varitek lofts a sacrifice fly to center to tie the game, 4-4, but this is on Gordon. No Yankee ever scared me more than Mariano. Salute to him.
When McCarver gets what he considers a profound thought in his head, he slows his cadence for dramatic effect. Then he repeats himself like he’s delivering a dugout sermon from Whitey Herzog.
“After 169 games and eight innings, the Red Sox season comes down to one inning,” McCarver tells us before the ninth. “One inning.” Oh Tim, we’re just getting started.
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Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images
Keith Foulke is on to pitch the ninth. He worked 2 ⅔ the night before and will pitch tonight and then again in Game 6. Foulke threw 14 shutout innings during the postseason and was never the same. He gave up his career for this postseason run and was never properly appreciated because he made some crack about fans the following season that caused everyone to turn on him. Here’s to you, Keith Foulke. I have no idea how you ever got anyone out, but you were nails.
In the ninth, Tony Clark hit a ball to right that somehow crawled up the short fence and landed in the stands. Had it stayed in play, Ruben Sierra would have scored and the game would have been over. Sixteen years later, the universe hates Boston and its run of championships, but in 2004, this was all strange and new. Kind of miss those days.
Bronson Arroyo, fresh off getting hammered in Game 3, strikes out A-Rod and Sheffield en route to a clean 10th inning. The strike zone, by the way, has been a tad inconsistent. It’s hard to tell because there’s no K-Zone or pitch tracking and again, that’s totally fine! Maybe we were better off not knowing everything all the time.
Even though I know how this is going to turn out, I keep expecting Papi to hit a home run every time he comes up to hit. Instead, he strikes out.
On we go to the 12th and it’s Tim Wakefield time. The knuckleballer’s normal catcher/binky is Doug Mirabelli, but Tito rides with Varitek, who has absolutely no idea how to catch a knuckleball. Super genius.
Cairo singles to left and Manny kicks it like only Manny can, allowing Cairo to get to second. My kid smacks his forehead and says, “Oh, Manny.” He doesn’t even know the half of it. Fortunately, Jeter flies out and so does A-Rod. Crisis averted.
The Sox have stopped hitting. This seems bad.
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Photo by Rick Friedman/Corbis via Getty Images
Ah, the 13th. Nothing bad can happen here. Sheffield is swinging for the Mass Pike. He’s legitimately terrifying. Somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sheffield with a nasty knuckler that Varitek misplays into a passed ball. I remember thinking at the time, “This is how it’s going to happen. This is how they’re going to kill us.”
Two outs now and Matsui’s at first. Whoops, another passed ball. Now he’s at second. Intentional walk to Posada. Everyone at Fenway is nervous as hell. My wife comes into the room and starts watching. Now she’s nervous.
ANOTHER passed ball puts runners on second and third. Missed opportunity by McCarver to say something profoundly stupid like, “Johnny Pesky held the ball. Varitek can’t catch the ball.” Actually, that would have been pretty good.
Seriously though, one more miscue from Varitek and he’s Mike Torrez combined with Bill Buckner. Somehow, somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sierra and Varitek miraculously holds on. Fenway erupts. My wife cheers. “Mom, you know what’s going to happen,” my kid says but none of us care. This was the greatest game I ever saw and even now it doesn’t seem real.
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Photo by Corey Sipkin/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images
OK, now the 14th. Esteban Loiaza is on to pitch for the Yankees and he’s somehow become Whitey Ford. His cutter is filthy. Johnny Damon, who has done absolutely nothing this series, draws a walk.
Two outs and here’s Manny. I always loved Manny in these spots because a) he’s a great hitter and b) he’s completely impervious to pressure. God, this is a great at-bat. He’s fouling off quality pitches and laying off sliders just outside the zone. Manny gets his walk and trots to first like it’s a game in June against the Orioles. Here comes Papi.
It took 10 pitches for Ortiz to end Game 5 with a bloop single to center off the handle of the bat. He fought off nasty cutters and sent one about 420 feet screaming into right that went foul. My wife is tense. My kid is yelling, “Come on, Papi!” Finally, the big man does his thing and Johnny Damon comes home from second with the winning run.
Buck had a great call. “Damon can keep right on running to New York.” McCarver immediately blows it by saying, “He didn’t do it again, did he?” Dramatic pause. “He did.” Thanks, Tim. Oh, and STFU.
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Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images
By the way, there’s no off day because there was a rainout prior to Game 4. I have no idea how either one of these teams turned around and played again the next night, but I’d give anything for another marathon Red Sox-Yankee game right about now. Thank Papi, I still have the DVDs.
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