#(and this has become a why option 1 was the only good revenge option and why are there no fics about it xD)

[fortune-maiden]

Random TGCF thing I really want to write but probably never will:

At the Rain Master's farm, SQX refuses to go with Pei Ming and stays behind while the rest go to save the fishermen/let SWD know his brother is safe (but refusing to meet with him)

He Xuan completes his revenge. The Water Tyrant falls and SQX becomes a drifter. Guilt and regret weigh down his heart but "Ming Yi", his best friend, is there to help him through it...

it's a horror story :D

#random tgcf thoughts #the best friend at your side; letting you find out a truth and giving you a way out #and never letting you know the whole truth.... #the other version of this scenario i've toyed with (and partly written) is that sqx does learn that ming yi was hx all along afterwards #but he learns it through others. never sees my again. no closure #but i like the horror story version more xD #i think realistically though if sqx hadn't gone to swd hx wouldn't appear to him again either way #hx may be a vengeful ghost king but he's still a very righteous person (if you're not named ming yi) #i don't think he's someone who could kill his friend's brother and then maintain the friendship as though nothing had happened #aaah i do kind of want to write this now! the sqx chooses to stay in yushi but hx & swd pov #honestly i imagine swd would be extra smug in their confrontation now because his brother's safety has already been guaranteed #he has no reason to care what happens to him #(sorry hx you're not getting a satisfying revenge in this version either) #...........maybe it should be a time loop story #hx gets revenge on swd over and over but in any scenario where sqx lives its not satisfying (because swd is a dick about it) #but any scenario where sqx dies is also not satisfying (because hx doesn't like it) #(and this has become a why option 1 was the only good revenge option and why are there no fics about it xD)

[septembercfawkes]

Writing Negative Character Arcs: Types & Principles

What is a Negative Character Arc? 

In a negative character arc, the character grows into someone worse--or perhaps more accurately said, someone more misled. Stories that feature protagonists with negative arcs typically function as cautionary tales and often leave the audience feeling "sadder, but wiser." Some examples of negative arcs include Anakin in Revenge of the Sith, Coriolanus in A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, and Light in Death Note. These also serve as good reminders that not all protagonists are "heroes."

Of course, though, negative arcs can be used for side characters or antagonists as well, such as Harry Osborn in Spider-Man, or Javert in Les Mis.

A common misconception is that negative arcs are always for "bad guys." While the majority of villains will embody a negative arc, not every negative-arcing character is a villain. For example, Winston has a negative arc in 1984, but no one would call him a "bad guy"; he was tortured until he lost his way.

Despite negative arcs being uncommon for main characters, chances are you'll need to write one for at least one important character at some point. This article will go over the two basic types of negative arcs, dig deeper into what a negative arc actually is, and offer four principles to help you craft one.

Buckle up, writers, because today we are on the "highway to hell!" 😈🔥😉

The 2 Basic Negative Arcs

First, though, I need to make sure we are all on the same page, so here is a brief review on character arcs in general. . . .

A character arc is how a character grows through a story. And at the most basic level, there are really only four types: positive change, negative change, positive steadfast, negative steadfast.

Those are your only options.

Why?

Because there are only two ways a character can grow internally:

1. They can change their worldview or beliefs. 2. They can grow in the resolve of their worldview or beliefs (remain steadfast), becoming more of something.

And each of these can happen in one of two ways.

1. Positive (becoming someone better) 2. Negative (becoming someone worse)

There are many other approaches to character arcs, and you can get more detailed, but theoretically, any character arc will fit into one of these four types.

The character arc is an internal journey and is almost always directly tied to the theme. In fact, it's one of the secret ingredients that make up theme. This journey will ultimately represent a worldview or belief system that the story will put a value on.

Positive-arcing characters end the story representing an accurate or "true" belief system--a reality. The belief system is what the story is arguing for; it's known as the thematic statement. The journey is viewed as an internal victory because the character is better off and a better person, for believing the truth. 

Negative-arcing characters end the story representing an inaccurate or "false" belief system--a nonreality*. This belief system is what the story is arguing against; this means it's (almost always) the anti-thematic statement, the counterargument to the theme. The journey is viewed as an internal failure because the character is worse off or a worse person, for believing a lie.

For more information on all arcs, check out "The 4 Basic Types of Character Arcs (with Examples and Variations)."

*Some negative-arcing characters have a last-minute redemption in the falling action, but they will represent a false worldview at the climax.

(This is all generally, simplistically speaking, of course. There is room for variation.)

Negative Change

In a negative change arc, the character starts the story with the true belief system--the thematic statement--even if he doesn't fully recognize what he has, but by the climax, he converts to a false or inaccurate belief system, rejecting his initial worldview. This leaves him worse off.

Frequently he starts as a morally good person who has a promising trajectory. But when faced with the struggles of the plot, he questions his way of life and makes wrong choices. 

There is usually something he greatly wants, and he will try to use the anti-thematic statement (or the "lie" according to some approaches) to try to get it.

This is a character who should have had a positive steadfast arc, but lost his way.

For example, in Revenge of the Sith, Anakin Skywalker starts the story believing in and upholding the light side of the Force, but his thirst for greatness, and, above all, his fear of loss leads him toward the dark side. To be a true Jedi, he must be humble and accept loss, but instead he is so driven to save Padme that he turns his back on the Jedi ways, and ultimately becomes morally corrupt.

More examples: Light in Death Note, Winston (with variation) in 1984.

Negative Steadfast

In a negative steadfast arc, the character starts with a false belief system--usually the anti-thematic statement--and at the climax, refuses to let it go. In fact, she may believe in it more deeply than ever. This leaves her in the negative; she's likely even worse off than initially.

Frequently when the main conflict hits, obstacles will highlight her flawed worldview while opportunities will offer her the "high road." She will have her resolve tested as she is invited (directly or indirectly) to change for the better, and she may or may not try to change through the middle. But at the climax, she ultimately holds stubbornly to her initial ways. She will reject the thematic statement, and sink deeper into her misbeliefs.

This is a character who should have had a positive change arc, but refused to.

For example, in Cruella, Estella starts as misbehaved and vengeful. She may "try" to be "good," but inside, she wants to be bad. She befriends two orphans, who later give her the opportunity to work an honest job in the fashion industry, but instead, she embraces her cruel ways. Despite Jasper trying to convince her to change, Estella chooses to become even more immoral as Cruella. She embraces the belief that it's better to be cruel than kind.

More examples: Coriolanus Snow in A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, Javert in Les Mis.

~~

Worth noting is that there is one more type of arc that is often considered negative, and this is the disillusionment arc. In this arc, the character comes to the accurate worldview--the thematic statement--but the truth is sad and disheartening. Because I view this as ultimately a good thing (it's better to accept reality than hold onto a flawed belief system), I consider this a version of the positive change arc. However, many people view this as a negative arc, because it doesn't leave the audience cheerful and optimistic. Whichever way you choose to view it is fine, just understand it works by the character embracing the theme.

At the Heart of Negative Arcs

When talking about negative arcs, people often use words like "bad" or "immoral," and as stated above, typically view these characters as more villainous. I, myself, have and will likely continue to use such words, because it's a simple, generalized way to get the idea across without having to explain all the mechanics of themes and belief systems. 

However, it's not the most accurate explanation (ironically).

Not all negative-arcing characters are immoral. Nor, as I stated above, are they all villainous bad guys.

At its heart, negative arcs are about a character ultimately believing in something that isn't true--a nonreality.

And it's an untruth within the context of the thematic argument of the story.

In this sense, you may have a story that argues "Good guys finish last." We may not like that truth, but it's true in certain scenarios in life (it's possible to be too "nice"), and it can be true within the context of a given story. So, a negative steadfast arc might be a character who fails to accept this. It's a character who should have completed a disillusionment arc, but refused to. This character may, technically, be a very moral, good-hearted person, but because he chooses to cling to a nonreality, he's in the negative.

Believing in something that isn't real, isn't usually helpful. It's harmful.

(Of course, though, we all have some different beliefs on what is real and what is true. This is why it's a nonreality within the framework, within the context of the story, within that story's theme.)

It's perhaps most accurate to think of negative arcs as being about someone who is lost or misled, even if they don't see it that way themselves.

This is usually the key to making their arc empathetic.

No one hates Winston for embracing the beliefs of the Party in 1984. Instead, we view his brainwashing as tragic. We understand he ends up more lost and more misled than he's ever been--than he could have ever been, if he hadn't embarked on his quest for personal freedom and truth to begin with.

This may be true even of legit villains. As much as we hate Voldemort, we understand through the Harry Potter series, that he is incapable of recognizing that love is the most powerful force--most powerful magic--in the world. Sure, he may be a bad guy, but the author shows us how he is lost and why he is misled.

Compare that to Umbridge. Because we don't know those things, readers actually tend to hate her more than Voldemort. We don't like what we don't understand.

Depending on your project, you may or may not want your negative-aching character to be empathetic. Or you may want him to be a little empathetic or a lot of empathetic 😉. Often this will be controlled by how much you decide to include about how the character got lost and why they are misled.

If you decide to delve into such aspects, you will find that writing negative arcs can be a surprisingly empathetic experience. Everyone loves a hero, but there can be something unequivocally tragic about the downfall of the lost.

Regardless of which type of negative arc, the end result is a sort of self-damnation. You can move forward toward becoming an individuated human being when you hold the truth--no matter how long the journey takes you. When you believe in something that isn't real, a lie, you are Sisyphus endlessly pushing a rock up a hill. A lot of effort, to ultimately get nowhere. That is the true punishment, the true damnation of hell.

You'll never find your way out, if you're worshipping a nonreality.

4 Principles of Negative Arcs

Most stories feature positive change arc protagonists, and most writers are frankly taught to write positive change arc protagonists. This means that a lot of writing advice comes from a positive-change-arc-centric perspective (yeah, I just made that term up). If you are writing one of the other three types of arcs, it can be difficult to find helpful resources. And applying positive-change-arc advice to a different arc doesn't work very well.

So, let's go through the most important principles when it comes to writing prominent negative arcs.

Reverse the Climax: Thematic <--> Anti-thematic

As I touched on above, what makes a negative arc, negative, is that the character doesn't represent the true belief system, the thematic statement, at the climax. Instead, she represents (what I call) the anti-thematic statement.

See, every great story has a counterargument to the theme. 

Harry Potter argues love is the most powerful force in the world, but the counterargument to that is that fear and hatred (prejudice), as illustrated by Voldemort, are more powerful. 

Star Wars IV: A New Hope argues that we should rely on faith (the Force), but the counterargument to that is that we should rely on technology, as illustrated by the Empire and the Death Star.

The Hunger Games argues that we should sacrifice ourselves to save others, but the counterargument to that is that we should sacrifice others to benefit ourselves, as illustrated by the Capitol and the Hunger Games themselves.

The counterargument is the anti-theme.

If you are familiar with K. M. Weiland's work, she refers to this as the "lie," while Lisa Cron refers to this as a "misbelief." It is also sometimes referred to as a "flaw." (I mean, we could get more nitpicky and differentiate these more, perhaps, but that's a different post.)

Frequently such terms are used in reference to something within the main character--it's the main character's misbelief, it's the main character's flaw. But it's important to understand this counterargument often exists outside the main character as well. It can exist in other characters, or even a society (which is the case for Katniss).

Nonetheless, because we are working with negative arcs, the anti-theme (or some variation of it) will undoubtedly exist within the character. What the character ultimately believes or represents at the climax, is in the wrong.

A positive-arcing character will prove the theme true by ultimately embracing and using it toward a victory at the climax (at the bare minimum, an internal victory).

A negative-arcing character will also prove the theme true, but by ultimately embracing the anti-theme and using it to reach a failure at the climax (at the bare minimum, an internal failure). The negative-arcing character illustrates how the anti-theme is false.

To be a solid negative arc, the character needs to act on the anti-theme. 

Anakin needs to show he refuses to accept loss in the final duel, by jumping at Obi-Wan, despite Obi-Wan standing on higher ground. Obi-Wan cuts him down, and Anakin loses everything. The climax illustrates that he was in the wrong. He should have accepted his loss (in more ways than one).

Want Before Need: Sacrificial <--> Selfish

A core characteristic of positive arcs is that the characters are ultimately willing to sacrifice their personal, perhaps worldly, desires, at the climax. They may be eager or they may be reluctant, but when it gets down to it, they'll do it. This is what makes them, in some sense, "heroes." Even a positive-arcing "anti-hero" will ultimately be willing to sacrifice something he values, to do what is right. What is necessary. (And in some cases, this may mean simply casting off, sacrificing, the anti-theme.)

Positive-arcing characters do what is needed.

A core characteristic of negative arcs is that the characters are ultimately unwilling to sacrifice their personal desires at the climax. They may consider it, but when it gets down to it, they'll choose what they want, over what is needed--over what is necessary or right. They are unwilling to let go of their flawed beliefs because they do not consider the alternative path worth the cost or risk.

Like all well-written characters, they have an abstract want that manifests into concrete goals. The goals may even begin well-meaning. Anakin intends to save Padme. Light intends to rid the world of criminals. Coriolanus intends to win money for his family.

But as they pursue these things through the plot, they are ultimately unwilling or unable to pay the required costs to win the most critical journey of all: coming to the truth.

Instead, any "sacrifices" they make, are really more like collateral damage on the way to their worldly or selfish goals. They prioritize their own goals above all else. Even negative-arcing characters who claim to be sacrificial, are often "sacrificing" things and people they actually care little about (like Light)--which means it's not a true sacrifice; it's a payment, a means to their end.

In regards to this principle and the last, often to be most effective, the character is given a climactic choice. A choice between what is wanted and what is needed. And/or a choice between the anti-theme and the theme.

This is typically true of positive arcs as well.

At the climax, Katniss must choose between risking death to possibly save Peeta, or to kill Peeta to save herself. She chooses to risk death, despite her deep desire to survive. Her sacrifice illustrates the theme.

In Wonder Woman, Diana must choose between fighting for a better world to defeat Ares, or joining him in dealing out the punishment she feels humankind deserves. She chooses the former.

Negative-arcing characters make the opposite choice.

In The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, Coriolanus must choose between forsaking everything he wants and knows to live freely in the wilderness with the woman he loves, or to remove the woman he loves and return to governing society to gain what he wants. He chooses the latter.

In 1984, Winston must choose between staying true to Julia and facing additional torture, or betraying her and becoming brainwashed. He betrays her. 

Please always keep in mind, though, that these are still generalizations to explain the principles--they aren't laws we are enslaved to. (But typically, you must understand generalizations before you can successfully create variations).

For more on wants vs. needs, check out "Character's Want vs. Need."

Constructive <--> Destructive

Positive arcs result in building people or societies up.

In a positive change arc, this emphasis is usually put on the character herself. She overcomes the flaws or misbeliefs that are holding her back, and becomes a better version of herself. This offers a personally promising future.

In a positive steadfast arc, commonly this emphasis is put on the society. The character helps others overcome their flawed beliefs, and leads the "world" into a promising future.

But of course, these aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. A positive-arcing character can both improve herself and those around her.

Generally speaking, negative arcs are about destroying these things.

Rather than building up themselves or their societies, negative-arcing characters are tearing them down--whether or not it is intentional.

It may be very intentional, like in Cruella, but it may be, from the character's perspective, a necessary price for the want-driven concrete goal, like in Death Note. 

Regardless, when the character acts on the anti-theme, it's destructive.

Theoretically, each type gets the same emphasis as the positive arcs.

In a change arc, the destruction is often emphasized internally. We focus more on the fact that Anakin is lost, than on the ruin he's creating around him (though he is doing that as well).

In a steadfast arc, the destruction is often emphasized externally. Coriolanus is bringing destruction and death to others, specifically Lucy Gray and Sejanus (though Coriolanus is sinking deeper into negative ideology as well).

An important element of working with negative arcs is to make sure we aren't condoning all the destruction the characters are doing. This can be tricky to balance, because at the same time, we don't want our work to come off as preachy.

The best way to address this, is to make sure we are showing the theme and character arc, more than telling them. 

And one critical component of that, is to show the consequences of the character's behavior.

Recall above when I said that the story puts a value on the belief system.

Often that value is illustrated through consequences.

Those who act on the theme are "rewarded" in the end.

While those who act on the anti-theme are "punished" in the end.

Katniss not only gets to save herself, but Peeta too, all while sticking it to the Capitol.

Anakin loses not only his fight with Obi-Wan, but his limbs, his wife, his children--everything.

This is again, simplistically speaking though, and I'll mention some variation in the next section.

But the truth is, you could write the darkest story in the world, without condoning the characters' behaviors in it, without promoting that way of life. 

In addition to consequences, tone is also useful in conveying what is and is not an acceptable worldview.

Internal Journey: Victory <--> Failure

Regardless of what ultimately happens externally, positive-arcing characters' internal journeys will be viewed as a victory. These are characters who came to, or upheld, the truth. This betters them, as they changed or as they grew in their resolve of their beliefs. Nothing can take that away from them.

Regardless of what ultimately happens externally, negative-arcing characters' internal journey will be viewed as a failure. These are characters who embraced, or upheld, an untruth. This damns them, whether they changed or grew in their resolve of their beliefs. Nothing can redeem them, if they are unwilling to give up their ways.

Negative-arcing characters end up "lost," and not "found."

While it is most common to have an internal victory paired with an external victory, and an internal failure paired with an external failure, it's not a strict rule.

Having both journeys end on the same value, makes it easier to drive home the point of the story. 

But it's possible to have an internal victory paired with an external failure, and an internal failure paired with an external victory. 

In the former, the story ends with the sense that the victory was worth the cost of the loss. Doing what is true is more important than winning the world.

In the latter, the story ends with a "hollow victory." The character has gained the world, but has lost her soul, so to speak.

So while Coriolanus succeeds in winning the prize, redeeming his surname, and bringing wealth to his family, he fails as a person, as illustrated by Tigris saying he looks just like his father. Coriolanus is damned to go through the rest of his life loveless. Even if he doesn't see that as a problem, the audience recognizes it as one.

One last thing that is also worth mentioning here, is it is possible the negative-arcing character gets a last-minute redemption in the falling action. Because of what happened at the climax, and what followed just after, she may realize the wrongs of her ways, and spend the last few beats of the story changing.

While I suppose you could ultimately consider this a positive arc, because of the very very end, I find it's more helpful to structure such stories as negative arcs, since the climax we've been building toward is negative.

In any case, as I've said throughout, all these are principles, not rules, and they are meant to help, not hinder, your writing.

Why We Need Stories with Negative Character Arcs

Negative-arcing characters offer us cautionary tales about what we should not do and why.

While today, stories are often viewed as a form of entertainment, another purpose is to teach or educate.

Just as it's important to know what can go right, it's also important to know what can go wrong, and how.

Imagine telling a child to always look before crossing the street so he can be safe, without ever explaining to him the consequences of failing to do that.

What do you think will happen eventually?

That's right. Splat.

(Okay, yeah, that is a little morbid, but I think you get the idea.)

We need to look at both the positives and negatives, the "rewards" and the "punishments," and what leads to each. Not because we are trying to control people, but because that's how humankind gains the discernment necessary to navigate this journey of life. 

In other words, that's how humankind gains wisdom. If we only ever look at the positives, then we stifle our abilities to discern.

When we learn about everything, it's clearer to know which way to go, what choices to make, and why.

Stories also provide a safe means to discuss and explore life's dangers. It's better to tell the kid he could get hit by a car and explain the ramifications of that, than to let him follow your rules blindly. It's not that talking about it is promoting kids getting hit by cars, it's that we are warning that kids can get hit by cars.

Frankly, most well-written stories will be looking at both the positives and negatives of an argument (theme vs. anti-theme). And they will do this by illustrating both sides. This is why, even if you are writing a positive-arcing protagonist, chances are, you'll have a negative-arcing character (often the antagonist) somewhere as well.

In any case, if the negative-arcing character's journey is prominent, I hope you'll find these principles more than useful.

#writing tips and tricks #writing tips #writing help #writeblr #writer #writing tip #writing #writing advice #fanfic #writing reference

[lepetitloir]

Astolfo and revenge

(Something I posted on twitter, that I'll add a bit to)

I don't think the message of Astolfo's story is "vengeance only does more harm than good". It's pointed out multiple times in the manga that vengeance/hatred is what keeps him going.

Hell, Astolfo is morally opposed to murder, he KNOWS. I genuinely believe he still doesn't want to kill, and only kills because he is stuck in a cycle, realizes this, and is trying to keep others out of it.

"Revenge/murder is bad" it not the lesson he has to learn. I have the theory that his story is about how people keep up discrimination so they can benefit from it.

(1) His family was "an active player in the war against vampires", and I get the feeling that's why the Granatum house is so wealthy. I mean, they had strong ties to the Church, while regularly holding the seat of Garnet. Of course Astolfo's father told him to kill vampires, he needs to be the Garnet Paladin so the family keeps its wealth and status! There's the implication in the manga that the Granatum family (and the Obsidian house) have their status thanks to their participation in the war. Once an institution benefits from something, it won't easily let go of that, no matter how morally apprehensive it is.

(2) Charles wants to make Astolfo the Garnet Paladin so he can become a symbol for the Chasseurs (or at least the vampire eradication faction, and like I said, killing vampires is what gave these people power, so it is very possible the vampire eradication faction is a reflection of that). Charles is building a narrative: "Astolfo Granatum's family was injustly killed by vampires, now he kills to avenge them, therefore he is justified to kill vampires". The weapon of the Garnet Paladin is named "Pillar of Justice". That Astolfo fights for justice is part of the whole act!

(3) I really think Astolfo kept resisting against his fate of "killing vampires". His father gives him the knife and he gets scared, Charles tells him to pick up Louisette and he gets scared...

In the end, he gives up. His self-hatred, carefully upheld by Charles, is too strong. He has no other options left, especially when Roland leaves him! This proves to me that he only "takes revenge" because he felt like there was nothing else for him left. I really want to emphasize the "he gave up his struggle" here.

So, I came to a conclusion that surprised me at first! "Hatred isn't automatically bad, preying on that hatred to push an agenda is bad". Astolfo is a victim of the institution he works for. That is the message, I believe.

I think that theme will be addressed in the current dham arc as well. So far it seems it's building towards it, with the whole scene of Vanitas explaining to Noé how discrimination works.

#vnc #vanitas no carte #my thoughts

[wee-snek]

Ed vs Blackbeard

And why they can’t just live happily on the Revenge

When I first watched Season 1, I thought Ed liking the cashmere and wanting to go to the French party were about him wanting to be fancy and have nice things.

And like, sure, maybe he’s been told that he didn’t deserve nice things. That’s basically what his mother told him; that god decided he shouldn’t have fine things.

But with more info in Season 2, I think it was about allowing himself to be soft.

He survived for so long because he was scary pirate Blackbeard. He had to be tough, and dark, and mean, and severe. He had to play the part of Blackbeard, and that was the only kind of success and survival story he ever saw, and the only path he saw for someone born into his position.

Then he meets Stede, who enjoyed the soft side and the pirate side equally. Like, pirating was a skill he had, but it wasn’t his most valuable characteristic. He could be silly, and soft, and gentle, and relaxed - and that was maybe the first time he had had that side of himself accepted and even rewarded. He genuinely wants to be “just Ed” but that hasn’t been an option before. Even back on the ship, after Stede leaves, he is still trying to be himself and be accepted as Ed because it felt better. And maybe, just maybe, this crew will allow it.

But then fucking Izzy comes in and says that Ed has no value and deserves to die and that only Blackbeard is worthy and that soft is punishable.

And he snaps. Of course he does. He had his first taste of love and acceptance. Then Stede left (Ed was worthless) and Izzy threatened him (Ed is worthless) and Blackbeard is the only coping-mechanism he’s ever developed, so he dials it up to 11.

But he can’t be Blackbeard 100% of the time, not anymore. He’s still Ed when he’s alone. He can’t go back to the old ways, but he can’t live the life he thought Stede could give him.

So Blackbeard gets even more intense, and Ed becomes even more depressed, and we get near-fatal self-destruction.

The outcome:

What Ed needs in order to be content (and safe, and sane) can’t coexist with a continued career in piracy. It just can’t. Every time he’s forced to do violence or threaten someone or anything that’s piracy and not just sailing - his insecurity about the value of Ed-vs-Blackbeard is going to be triggered.

So we have:

option 1: hurt - Stede doesn’t want to give up piracy now that he’s getting good at it (or some other external forces that mean they can’t retire) and it causes another rift

option 2: comfort - Jeff’s Inn by the Sea and a simple life of comfort and quiet.

option 3: both - they’re planning a third season so we’re not getting a fully resolved happy ending next week.

Edit 1: I made this post about an hour before E6-7 dropped, but I really think I’m right about option 1. Ed’s trauma won’t survive continued piracy, and Stede isn’t willing to give it up.

Edit 2: just finished E7

#ofmd #ofmd2 #ofmd theory #ofmd thoughts #our flag means death #blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #ed teach #Jeff’s Inn by the Sea #ofmd s2 spoilers

[adventure-showdown]

What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Divided Loyalties

Synopsis

There are some evils in the universe that need to be fought. And others that need redeeming...

Many years ago the Doctor, a student at the Academy on Gallifrey, lost a friend to the mysterious and malevolent force known as the Celestial Toymaker. Now, in his fifth incarnation, the Doctor receives a telepathic call from his long-lost classmate, begging for help.

As he sets out to rescue his friend and exact revenge, the Doctor's companions become increasingly involved. Adric, determined to justify his place aboard the TARDIS, opts to face the Toymaker's game challenges while Nyssa, angered by the Doctor's actions, finds herself excluded by the people she thought were her friends. And what is the connection between the Toymaker and the planet Dymok, whose comatose inhabitants find a new saviour in the shape of Tegan Jovanka?

Propaganda

Everyone’s heard of this. You probably haven’t read it, but you know the story anyway. Catalyst of all Deca fics. (anonymous)

Fear of the Dark

Synopsis

On the very edge of the galaxy lies Akoshemon: a putrefied world of legendary evil.

In the year 2382 archaeologists land on Akoshemon's only moon, searching for evidence of the planet's infamous past. But when the Doctor, Tegan and Nyssa are drawn into the lunar caverns they find more than a team of academics — and help uncover much more than ancient history.

Something is lying in wait, deep inside the labyrinth of caves: something that remembers the spiral of war, pestilence and deprivation that ruined Akoshemon. Something that rejoiced in every kind of horror and destruction.

An age-old terror is about to be reborn. But what is the hideous secret of the Bloodhunter? And why does Nyssa feel that her thoughts are no longer her own? Forced to confront his own worst fears, even the Doctor will be pushed to breaking point — and beyond.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Fear Itself

Synopsis

The 22nd century: a few short years of interstellar contact have taught humanity a hard lesson — there are creatures abroad that are nightmare manifest. Powerful, unstoppable, alien forces. It's a realisation that deals a body blow to man's belief in his own superiority, and leaves him with the only option he has ever had: to fight.

When the Eighth Doctor and his friends are caught in the crossfire, they find humanity licking its wounds and preparing for war. But the fight against alien forces is no job for an amateur, and for a Doctor only just finding his way in the universe again, one misstep could be fatal.

Propaganda

Everyone is traumatised to within an inch of their lives and it's also shippy as hell. 10 out of 10. (anonymous)

12 Doctors, 12 Stories

Synopsis

This is an anthology of 12 short stories

Propaganda

It's a beautiful homage to the show and each story adds something to their respectives Doctors (my personal favorites are the First Doctor, the Eight Doctor and the Twelfth Doctor stories but they are all great) (@sesshomarusamas-blog )

Scratchman

Synopsis

The Doctor, Harry and Sarah Jane Smith arrive at a remote Scottish island, when their holiday is cut short by the appearance of strange creatures — hideous scarecrows, who are preying on the local population. The islanders are living in fear, and the Doctor vows to save them all. But it doesn't go to plan — the time travellers have fallen into a trap, and Scratchman is coming for them.

With the fate of the universe hanging in the balance, the Doctor must battle an ancient force from another dimension, one who claims to be the Devil. Scratchman wants to know what the Doctor is most afraid of. And the Doctor’s worst nightmares are coming out to play...

Propaganda

this is very good (anonymous)

The Stranger

Synopsis

When young Claudia finds a sexy stranger near her home she discovers that he has lost his memory along with his clothes.

Having turned her back on relationships after the death of her husband, Claudia finds herself scandalising her friends by inviting the stranger into her home and her bed...

Propaganda

The Eighth Doctor Porn novel, Eights bisexual girl pal in this latter appears in Father Time which makes the novel canon. One of eights romantic partner cliche thus becomes middle aged widow who meets him and rediscovered their sexuality. (anonymous)

#round 1

[gffa]

Hey Lumi, I have a tiny itty bitty silly question. I am ashamed to admit this (there is no anon option so I have to attach my face here and I’m crying) but all the Star Wars media I’ve been consuming so far is in the form of movies/tv shows/games and fanfiction.

I know, I know. It’s horrible, I should have went straight for the good sources a.k.a comics and books the way I did with Marvel/DC. It’s just that when it comes to Star Wars I have no idea where to start from and I get overwhelmed … Does that makes sense? I guess what I’m trying to ask is… where do I start from?

Because I wanna know EVERYTHING but I wanna read the proper works and not wookieepedia. And I can’t ask my best friend, she will absolutely laugh at me if she has to make me another list with titles to read or important pop culture things to see. You are my only hope.

Hi! First of all, I am firmly of the opinion that Star Wars generally works best when watched in priority + chronological release order, because the way Star Wars stories often work is that they assume you've seen/read the previous thing to base your current understanding off the other story, even if it's set as a backstory. For example, a lot of people suggest watching the prequels then the originals and I think that undercuts a lot of what you're meant to get out of the story. You're meant to know Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader, that's a huge part of watching the prequels. You're meant to know that Palpatine is going to become the Emperor, there are all these little comments about future plans, you're meant to know what the Death Star is, so when you see the plans on Geonosis, you understand the gravity of what's happening here. This also applies to reading supplementary material, because the books and comics assume you've watched the movies and the TV shows first, often times your understanding of them is based on that knowledge. So, you're doing things right so far! And that's why I usually suggest, whatever you're looking to get into, whatever you're interested in reading, do it in order of release, because a lot of stories assume you've seen/read the stuff that's already released. The second issue is a bit more of a "It depends on what you're interested in!" one because, well, it depends on what you're interested in! XD If you're coming to me, generally, I'm going to assume you're interested in the prequels characters and my list of Must Read materials will cater to that. (I do have a more well-rounded list here, it's a bit old at this point, but honestly I wouldn't say any of the current books have been must reads in awhile, aside from maybe the Thrawn and Alphabet Squadron books. This is slightly more up to date, but has a lot of the same suggestions. XD) My recommendations are: - Darth Vader (2015 - Kieron Gillen) + Star Wars (2015 - Jason Aaron) - These two series are meant to be read concurrently for at least the first six issues, read issue #1 of SW, then issue #1 of DV, then issue #2 of SW, then issue #2 of DV, etc.  They’re events crossing over into each other and are meant to be seen from different perspectives at the same time and it’s still one of the best series the Star Wars comics have had in Lucasfilm canon!  Gillen’s Vader is more the mystical, unknowable nightmare version of Darth Vader and he does an excellent job of getting into that space with the character.  Aaron also writes the original trio really well and it fills in a lot of the gabs just post-ANH so well, this is a great starting place for reading comics.  You get to see Vader’s moment of realization of who Luke Skywalker is and it’s one of the best comic moments in all of the franchise. - Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith (2017 - Charles Soule) - As tempting as it might be to read them in chronological order, I still think release order works better, and this one is set just after Revenge of the Sith and it’s all about digging into the psychology of Anakin Skywalker choosing to be Darth Vader.  Choosing it over and over and over.  This Vader is INCREDIBLY extra, but underneath the hilarious dramatic antics of this series (HE IS SUCH A DRAMATIC ASSHOLE IN THIS SERIES, IT’S SO FUNNY), there’s genuinely a story that looks at how afraid Anakin was to face his own choices, how Vader’s issues are Anakin Skywalker’s issues, how he goes from Anakin to the Vader we know in the OT. This is still my favorite piece of SW supplementary media, but I may be biased. - Shattered Empire (Greg Rucka) - This is a four-issue mini series that’s basically 100% pure connective tissue between the aftermath of Return of the Jedi and where things were headed to in the future.  The entire point is to show a variety of characters and nothing but focusing on the aftermath, rather than too much of a plot-focus.  Which makes it really satisfying, because it’s finally some breathing room for the characters--plus, it has stunning artwork to go with it. - Princess Leia (Mark Waid) - More aftermath, this time focused on Leia’s character in the days after A New Hope and the destruction of Alderaan.  It includes her going to Naboo (though, she can’t figure out too much, of course, there’s some lovely nods to the Force whispering in her ear) and trying to figure out how to be a princess of a world that’s in ashes, and it’s a lovely look at her character. - Obi-Wan & Anakin (Charles Soule) - A five issue mini series set between The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones and when I first inhaled it, it seemed like a bit of a filler adventure, until I went back to really pay attention the second time and suddenly all these connections and all this groundwork was being laid for understanding where each of these characters was coming from.  It’s a fantastic look at Anakin’s doubts about being a Jedi, that he’s planning on leaving, Obi-Wan’s interactions with him over that, and why Anakin ultimately makes the choice to stay, along with so much of Palpatine laying down groundwork to undercut everything the Jedi are helping to teach Anakin.  Add in the most gorgeous artwork you’ve seen, and it’s a hell of a read. - Poe Dameron (Charles Soule) - I really did not expect to love this comic as much as I did, but it’s incredibly good character work for him (the absolute best Poe-related material) and it does a ton to set up and flesh out the story of the sequels (in as much as anything can) and it’s just very, very easy to settle in with and read.  It’s got great pacing and a great plot and was really, really addicting to read. - Age of Republic (Jody Houser) - There are eight issues in this maxi series (and you can go on to read the Age of Rebellion and Age of Resistance comics, they’re in the same format--four issues about heroes, four issues about villains) and they tell stories of various characters and they’re all really solidly good.  My favorite is the Obi-Wan one, it’s another great look at his relationship with Anakin, though, the Anakin one had some great character stuff and the Maul one got me in the feelings place. - Jedi of the Republic: Mace Windu (Matt Owens) - Heads up about this one, the art style is wonky as hell, including some real nightmare fuel Yoda moments, so you gotta power through that aspect of this mini series.  Once you do, though, it’s a stellar look at Mace Windu’s character!  It’s not necessarily plot-heavy, but the chance to understand more of Mace’s mindset, the incredible Jedi he is, the good man he is, how hard he worked to become the person he is currently, all of that was excellent. - Star Wars Adventures - The series started in 2017 and then was rebooted in 2020, all of them are very worth reading!  They’re aimed at a younger audience, so you’re not going to get too much darkness in any of the stories, but that doesn’t hold them back from being some of the best Star Wars comics.  They’re all little stand-alone stories with characters from all across the three trilogies and you’ll get some wonderful stuff, like Luke and Leia on Naboo, Anakin and Padme going to see a play, baby Leia being told about Padme by Breha, Mace Windu rescuing a young Twi’lek child and giving her a pep talk, Rose Tico having adventures, Obi-Wan and Dex having an adventure, etc.  They’re adorable and super fun! - Kanan (Greg Weisman) - While parts of this have been a bit overwritten by The Bad Batch (to the detriment of the story, this version is so much stronger), the Kanan mini series is absolutely stellar for understanding the character, getting to see the prequels Jedi from the perspective of the Padawans, instead of just the Knights, and getting some great worldbuliding and character work.  It’s split between Kanan’s time in his present with the backstory of what happened to him after the Jedi genocide and it’s brutally heartbreaking in all the right places, hopeful in all the other right places, and the artwork is just stunning. - The Clone Wars - Battle Tales (Michael Moreci) - This is in the same vein as the Adventures comics (and may even be under that label?) so it’s pretty light-hearted but it has some absolutely baller comic moments for the clones and the Jedi.  It’s a quick read, but you’ll have a scream of a time doing it! Books are a more complicated issue, because a lot of the Star Wars books have moments of great quotes, but overall aren’t great stories, in part because they can’t do character work in the same way comics can and all the really good stories are being saved for potential TV series, I suspect.  But two books I always recommend starting with are Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith novelization (nobody has ever come close to the heights that book has achieved) and Star Wars: Propaganda by Pablo Hidalgo, which is an in-universe look at the entire timeline (such as it was at the time) and how art and propaganda shaped things and, oh, it’s so good. Other than that, I like the Thrawn books, the Ahsoka book was solid, Bloodline did a lot of character work for Leia in the sequels, the Aftermath trilogy is one I really love but I personally think you almost have to listen to the audiobook versions because the text versions just bored me while the audio versions gripped me, Dark Lords of the Sith by Paul S. Kemple is more “Vader being Vader” goodness, Resistance Reborn was probably the best sequels book for me, I legitimately enjoyed Phasma a ton but given how her character just kind of fizzled out in the movies, I’m not sure how it would stand up without the excitement around her character, and I enjoyed Catalyst a lot, but I’m a sucker for a book that does connective tissue stuff between the prequels and the originals. I also highly recommend looking up “movie” versions of the Battlefront II storyline and the Jedi: Fallen Order storyline on YouTube, both are excellent stories if you’re not into playing the video games yourself.  You won’t get the full experience (you get much more invested when you spend a bunch of hours running around as your character, after all XD) but they will tell you the stories and they’re both very good and you’ll see connections pop up fairly often.  I also loved the Vader Immortal storyline, but because it’s a VR storyline, you’ll probably only find shaky footage of it and that may hit your motion sickness.  Still totally worth it even though I almost (literally) threw up trying to watch Vader be an asshole. That’s a lot to dump on you all at once, but I promise the stuff goes quicker than you’ll realize and this will give you a very solid foundation of having read the good stuff in Star Wars franchise!

#comic recs #book recs #long post #novel recs

[un-local]

On Rogier and D's Past

One of the challenges I've faced in my fic is trying to piece together a timeline of these two.

Here's a (very hypothetical, semi lore-consistent) timeline I've constructed, mostly for my own purposes:

[1] Devin stood before Godwyn in Deeproot Depths, and got half of the Cursemark from the body. Presumably, this act is what blackens the weathered dagger so, and what provokes Fia. (Whether or not she was there at the time is something I'm unsure of. )

Description of the Weathered Dagger: Dagger received from Fia, the Deathbed Companion. She wishes for it to be returned to its rightful owner. It was once a special weapon of gold and silver intertwined, but is now worn down and marred by a black gash.

Fia only gets the dagger after the player beats Radahn, (therefore the way to Nokron is available) so presumably, she got it from Devin.

[ Edit: ] No. She’s supposedly stuck in the Hold, so the dagger was most liekly a possession she either:

Got someone else to acquire for her

Stole from someone within the Hold

Brought into the Hold herself when she was first taken there.

I’m betting 2 or 3. (Though, if you're a fan of tragedy, there's a world of angst in option 1 if Rogier's the chump she dupes into getting it.)

Regardless, her killing D was either revenge for the "desecration" of Godwyn and theft of the cursemark, or vital to her escape, or a mix of both. The exact ratios of one to the other there can be debated. Either way, it was an escape she could only make once the way to Nokron/Deeproot Depths was open.

[2] The proximity to Godwyn's body required to take the cursemark inflicts Devin with deathblight. Hence why we find him sleeping in Nokron's aqueducts, nearby the coffin that transports us to the Deeproot Depths. [A]

It's worth noting this seems to be a very similar sleep to the one Rogier falls into after being afflicted with deathblight.

[3] Darian, unable to wake him, takes up the fight in his stead. Possibly to find a way to save him, or as a kind of revenge. Either way, this only further cements his dogmatic opinion on TWLID.

[4] At some point, he meets Rogier, who's had his own defining experience with TWLID. Since they both seek out answers on Death, they join up, exploring ruins/libraries/other associated destinations. ("Deathstinations?")

[ Quick aside: ] It's interesting they both use the word "crooked" when talking about the current state of things. I like to imagine it was something they initially agreed on/bonded over when they first met. That they found a lot of catharsis in that descriptor, enough for them to both still use it today, despite how things turned out. (And, whenever they say that word—specifically in relation to the state of the world—they think of each other, back when times were good.)

[5] As they travel together, they get closer. There's chemistry, there's a trust forged in battle, and there's dark nights by the fire where the world around them falls away as they talk. On one such night, D opens up about his brother.

[6] Rogier—either in the moment, or sometime after—begins to take an interest in Devin. He's sympathetic, but he asks one too many questions, one too many times.

Where is he? What did Devin/Darian and Devin both see in the Deeproot Depths? How did you even get to the Depths in the first place, from Nokron?

Etc. [B] This sets Darian off.

Rogier is looking to save TWLID, and this is the best shot at answers he's had, probably ever. He presses, more than he should—but to him, this is vital.

Darian is grieving his little brother, and this trusted ally—whom he's allowing himself to become close to—has just tipped his hand and shown his "true" colors. He's seeking TWLID... but not to purge the cruelty that took his brother from him. To "save them?" The hell does that mean?

[7] And so, they fight. Rogier is told in no uncertain terms to fuck off. He obliges. [C] This helps explain their different tones when asked about one another by the player.

Darian sounds so disparaging/condemning/harsh in his dialogue because he was hurt. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under him when he realized what Rogier wanted was something so heretical to him. [D]

Rogier sounds so wistful/melancholic/accepting of their parting because he realizes that, in his devotion to his own purpose (and presumed associated tragic backstory), he mishandled a very delicate situation. He feels guilt and regret. He wasn't intending to be underhanded or opportunistic, but D still got hurt.

Likely, he's come to realize that—while they were united by their shared "exploration of Death"—they were entirely separate in their end goals. No matter how things turned out that night, this was always going to be an irreconcilable difference between them.

Rogier, "About D:" But our paths since diverged. Never again to cross. Though that's hardly an uncommon fate for two friends.

[8] Now that Rogier is on his own, he continues his search. But unable (or perhaps ashamed and unwilling) to find an entrance to Nokron to get Godwyn's half of the Cursemark, he changes direction.

He shifts focus to other half of the Cursemark instead. Perhaps that will give him the answers he seeks. He just needs to find out who bears it.

He needs to solve the Night of the Black Knives.

[9] To do that, he needs something from that night. A clue. Something to give him answers, or at the very least, lead him to them. He starts combing all the archives and ruins he can.

(Presumably, he and Fia cross paths in the Roundtable Hold around this time. But that's a different post entirely.)

[10] Finally, after many dead ends and sleepless nights, he catches wind of something underneath Stormveil. An offshoot of the Death Prince himself. [E]

Despite it's diluted nature, he hopes it will have something conserved in it that will give him answers.

There's only one way to find out.

====== FURTHER NOTES ======

[A] Love that right after meeting Devin, you fight the Valiant Gargoyles. Two entities, conjoined. This unison is holy, and seeks to serve the Order. (If you're unfamiliar with this take on the gargoyles, consider this video by Zullie the Witch: https://youtu.be/6ESO0AY6_Tc)

Also, why are there even Gargoyles there?

Personally, I figure it was to protect Godwyn's remains, which is why they're also in the Deeproot Depths as well. As in, although Godwyn’s current form is abhorrent and an undeniable mark of the Golden Order's failure, his memory and service to the Order/Lleyndell is still deeply revered.

Also, presumably, this is like plutonium—something of massive destructive potential, (biologically speaking) that can’t fall into the wrong hands.

[B] Entirely unfounded, but I picture D as having destroyed the path they took to Nokron, once he realized Devin couldn't be woken. Hence why Blaidd and the player can't in get in later until after Radahn's defeat.

But why leave his brother down there? Seems heartless. Maybe Darian was injured at the time, or Devin was in some way "too contaminated" by deathblight to move any further.

I'm personally going with the very half-baked idea that Devin had been awestruck at the beauty of the caverns, and it felt wrong to move him. (Or, under the “mimic tear” theory, it was allowing him to rest in the place they first met/he came from.)

(Does this contradict Golden Order death customs? Unsure. Who deserves an Ertree burial? Are they even still practiced? Not my forte at all. It probably conflicts with something, but I'm going with it regardless, because I'm a sap.)

[C] I personally imagine what Rogier and D had between them was unnamed, and in its infancy—the stage where, before you truly get to know a person, you end up accidentally building them up in your head.

In this reading, D's condemnation of Rogier is a product of his abrupt realization that Rogier wasn't who he thought he was. That Darian had all the exploratory moments one has in that fragile, tender beginning of something... only to realize Rogier's really a stranger to him.

Add in the grief for his brother, and the dogma he's already clinging to in the wake of that, and you get a very strong emotional response. One that was very understandable, but also very easy to get lost in.

[D] D is definitely critical of Rogier in the Roundtable Hold, but his wording is interesting to me.

D, "About Rogier": "Are you acquainted with a man named Rogier? You know, the piteous fellow hiding away on the balcony? He was a formidable spellblade, in times past. Don't let his easy air deceive you. He was wise beyond his years, stout of heart and clear of mind. No more though. You see him now, ravaged by thorns, muttering and rambling... Like he's half dead already. I can't stomach to watch. Take well the lesson, friend. That's how you end up, when seduced by Those Who Live in Death. When grace is sullied, it rots people from the inside. Breaks them."

Notice the dichotomy D's of characterization here, and how he resolves it. Rogier was formidable, stout of heart, and wise, but he is now no longer so. He's ravaged by thorns, rambling, and half-dead... and this is because he was seduced by TWLID.

I think D really connected with Rogier in their first meeting, whatever the circumstance was. As they traveled together, he let himself have this fantasy of Rogier, this ideal ally that he tackled the world with. It was a punch in the gut to realize that it wasn't true.

He sent Rogier away, but he eventually returned to—or always held onto—that flattering idea of him.

Perhaps it hurt less to think that Rogier had been "seduced" by TWLID, rather than that the version of Rogier he'd idealized in his head hadn't ever actually existed in the first place.

[E] Pure speculation on my part, but trying to be consistent with the themes of trees/botanical imagery seen in-game.

Millicent was an offshoot of Malenia's forsaken pride, right? Is it not possible that Godwyn's infestation of the Erdtree roots has become so extensive that adventitious shoots are beginning to form—ones separate and more complex than the deathroot?

[Edit:] Sorry. Felt like rambling about this a little more.

When I say "adventitious shoots, separate from the deathroot," I should clarify. I don't mean to say that there'll be an NPC like Millicent (but with Godwyn's unfortunate mug) running around TLB anytime soon. Rather, I'm trying to posit that the face is indicative of a process akin to whatever the hell's going on with Pando. (A clonal colony of birch trees, wiki link here.)

Or, this image I found on google.

To borrow a term from evolutionary biology, Rogier is looking for a "conserved sequence" in this face under Stormveil: something that originated in Godwyn's true body, but has been replicated (conserved) in the offshoot.

Although the true body of Godwyn is far out of his reach, the replication may still hold the answers he so desperately needs.

So long as he can get to it, that is.

#DISLCLAIMER: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING #if im missing something let me know ig #hghhhgh im posting insanely again sorry #but its the framework im using for still waters and idk how tf im going to expositionize that #so.... posting #hare writing #hare posts #still waters #rogier #d #elden ring #sorcerer rogier #hare ‘meta’

[thegenuinezacrekshipper]

This Is A whole Judgmental Villain Post

I am going to be judging how good of villains each of these idiots are, if they have a low score I can hardly call them a villain. These are specifically MyStreet villains for now.

Ein. He definitely meets the criteria for a villain but he's just not... That good of one. First of all, how the fuck did he go from genuine emotions to "oh wow I was faking it to become the alpha and bla bla bla"? No one fakes emotions that good, this story plot was bullshit. His main goal is to... WaiT what's his main goal again? There's the turn everyone into a werewolf supremacist thing, the fuck lemme make out with this basic ass chick thing, the uwu get revenge on ultima thing[get in line with everyone else lol], and then there's the simping for Michael thing. The main one is probably the last one in season six cause that's all he talked about. He got a lot of people killed but he can't do it without help. He is nothing but a sidekick. 3\10.

Zack. he doesn't meet any criteria why the fuck is he in the villain place. The whole reason he even worked with Michael was money yet his dumbass wasn't willing to kill for it? He's pathetic as fuck. His main goal was to threaten and torment Derek in Starlight, that's not intimidating to the rest of the group at all. if he actually did something besides torment and be a condescending asshole to his ex boyfriend then maybe he's meet the criteria, but he doesn't. The cheating doesn't make him a villain, as that would put so many other characters as villains too. Yeah he's an asshole and all, just not really a villain. 0\10.

Elizabeth. The fuck she do besides kick Garte's kneecaps out and have a fairly seductive voice? She also saved Zack from drowning, how dare she he wanted to die anyways[which is sad but let's not talk about that]. She'll probably be better in the future so I give her 4\10.

Derek. No. No no no. He is not a villain in the slightest he is an antagonist, there is a BIG difference. His actions are more fucked up then the others though so he gets to be talked about. First of all the nicest thing he did to Aaron was get him a dog, then lose it. Now for the actual options, Derek has a weird way of showing he cares about Aaron. That includes making agents stalk him to make sure he doesn't hang out with humans he could put in danger, hiring some weird stoner dude to assault his son then hug him, intentionally calling his son a monster whenever he does anything wrong, throwing a temper tantrum and breaking his phone, and he's also really good at lying. probably learned it from Michael cause there's no way he picked it up himself. Oh also 7\10 for creativity.

Xavier. Best villain 100% \s. He really needs to take a break from the internet because it is damaging his emotional health and also his villain vibes, I can't really take a computer need who's really only obsessed with seeing the ultima seriously. He gets really fucking emotional when it comes to exposing the ultima so it messes up all his Damn plans. He only stayed in FCU because he's only a villain meant for college. 5\10 cause I feel bad for him.

Ivan. This bitch could've just stayed a player and saved his pathetic life from becoming an asshole, yet he chose the wrong path because he's really stupid. All he does is prank people and harass Lucinda, and also turn people into babies. He's literally nothing but a kindergartener to everyone. 1\10

Michael\The Demon Warlock. Wow someone who literally could give less of a fuck about Aphmau and Aaron's relationship's existence? Perfection. Amazing. Anyways, some of the bad things he did were controlling people to kill others for him, kill Terry's dad who apparently existed, beat up Travis because he's a nuisance and he's in the way, try to kill a useless God who does nothing for the community, didn't kill Derek cause Derek killed himself, killed one of his partners daughters cause he doesn't give a fuck, and he also killed Rachel. The fuck is up with that. How dare he. His main goal is to kill Irene cause fuck if I know I guess they broke up or something. He is also weird and predatory just like Terry, which is why I can't tell them apart. 9\10 cause the Katelyn thing ruined his intimidation.

That is all for now.

#aphmau #aphverse #aphblr #aphmau mystreet #mystreet #mystreet aphmau #aphmau villains #mystreet villains #aphmau zack #aphmau derek #aphmau michael #michael valkrum #aphmau xavier #aphmau ivan #aphmau elizabeth #aphmau ein

[maidayevergreen]

The Sims 4 Disney Legacy Challenge

Sims 4 Disney Legacy This was inspired by the sims 3 version I found here, this the line to it, go check it out. There will be 11 gens.

Rules and Guidelines • No cheats, unless bb.moveobjects, or money cheat at the beginning • Aging must be set to normal • Mods are allowed unless it messes with the current generation • Do not bring back your sim from the dead, unless specified • Do not bake or eat cake unless it’s one of your sims birthday • Your sims do not need to look like its generations theme, though it’s up to you, traits are also up to yoi

The Generations Some of these will have packs involved, so I will try and give options that you can use so you can still play this challenge.

Gen 1 - Light Year Buzz lightyear is a space ranger who was stuck on his own with nothing, not knowing where is family was just by himself working on becoming the best Astronaut there has ever been.

• Complete the astronaut career • Level 10 in fitness, logic and rocket science • Start with nothing and no money • Marry a co-worker • Have two children, one being evil and younger one being the heir • Have a completed space ship • Have 4 good friends • Complete the body builder aspiration • Have a brother or sister that you don’t really know/ speak to

Gen 2 - Lion King You grew up surrounded by getting everything you ever wanted, but your older sibling was always jealous of you for some reason, and when you needed your father the most he was not around and you ran away from your problems until it is your time to return home.

• Father dies when sim is a child • Older sibling had something to do with the death (do what you want with that) • Runaway and move in with nature crazy uncle’s or aunt’s (Pumba and Timon, they can be married, do whatever you want) • Complete Fabulously wealthy aspiration • Complete the politician career - president • Max the fitness, singing and charisma skill • Have a childhood best friend • Return home when a young adult and get revenge at your sibling in anyway you want • Marry childhood friend • Have one child

Gen 3 - Soul You grew up surround by music, and you have loved learning instruments. But you didn't think you would be good enough be for going into the music industry, so you went into business until something gave you a passion to do something you want to do with your life.

• Get to level 5 in the business career than quit • After quitting the business career, adopt a daughter • The adopted daughter is the next heir • Live in the city • Have a near death experience • Complete the musical genius career • Complete the Entertainer (musician) career • Max three different instruments • Marry when an adult and have a child with them

Gen 4 - Lady and the Tramp You grew up and was a little spoil't and you had all of your parents attention, until you had gotten a surprise sibling, you got lost after having an argument with you parents and ran into a person that has offered you a place with them, how will this story go?

• Start to get ignored after new baby is born • Love your sibling but can’t help feel hurt by parents • Runaway after an argument and join a household with a sim that you just met • Start to fall in love with the other sim - eventually marry • Complete the Big happy family aspiration • Max the parenting, cooking and gourmet cooking skill • Have at least 4 children • Favourite 3 of them • Partner is in the criminal career until adulthood after being arrested • Don't have a job • Reconnect with parents after baby number 4 • Second youngest is heir

Gen 5 - Encanto Your family was very close knit, except why weren’t you included. All your life you where last choice, ignored by your mother, bullied by your older siblings with only the younger to rely on.

• Your family is ‘amazing’ and popular • Father dies when a toddler • If able try and make the family full of occults • Be distance and not close to family until a teen • House is destroyed when there a teen • Marry a co-worker in style-influencer career • Complete the Style-influencer career • Complete the friend of the world aspiration • Max writing, painting, photography and charisma skills • Reconnect with family after house is repaired and be best friends with one of the older siblings • Have one child

Gen 6 - Turning Red You was the perfect child, the one everyone wanted there child to be like, but you knew that you where different, but how?

• Have an A as a child • Complete as many toddler traits • Be best friends with mother until there a teen • When a teen become a were-wolf • Parents try to convince you to hide it until they can find a cure • You get angry at them for trying to cure you • Have 3 best friends • Max the violin, Entrepreneur and painting skill • Complete the freelance painter career • Marry one of best friends • Mother become distant and angry • You stay a were-wolf • Complete the Lone Wolf Aspiration • Only have two children

Gen 7 - Onward One of your parents died at a young age, and you don’t really remember them all that well, you had your other parent and older sibling growing up, but you wish to hug them once, but what if you can?

• One parent must die when toddler • Older sibling helped raise you and close to them • You bring back your father for a little bit to hug them as a teen • Have a step parent that is in the police force, don’t get on well until later on • Max the scientist career • Max the logic, wellness and video gaming • Only have one child • Have a nice garden that you leave behind for your child

Gen 8 - Strange World It’s a strange world out there and you want to find it all, but at the risk of your family, you don’t truly know.

• When a teen father disappears • Master the gardener career • Max the gardening, logic and handiness skill • Have only one child • Complete the freelance botanist aspiration • Partner must either be a scientist or astronaut career wise • Only have one child, preferably a boy • Travel to the alien world with family

Gen 9 - Lilo And Stitch When you where a child your watched your family go into the alien world and it made you want to meet and alien but is that what you really wanted when you get abducted?

• Have a alien baby • Be close to parents • Marry a alien • Complete the detective career • Max mischief, guitar and painting skill • Complete the chief of mischief aspiration • Drive away a neighbours on both sides whenever possible • Have 2 to 3 children • Alien child is heir

Gen 10 - Luca You always felt like an outcast in your family but also in the world. Your parents always let you be yourself but you always feel the need to hide yourself when your outside. You meet another alien and you both make the choice of running away.

• A blue alien with a human form • Must run away with new friend as a teen • Meet a human and become best friends • Never truly went to school due to fear until teen • Have a human that hates you and is your rival • They bully you due to them finding out they are an alien • You love water and live close to it • Complete the painter extortioner • Max the painting, photography and cooking skill • Have one child • Have a five star business • Marry a human

Gen 11 - Aladdin After your whole family perish to unknown causes they have to survive on there own, and start a family in there life.

• Master the criminal career • Fall in love with a rich sim • Pretend to be rich when poor • Max the fitness, rock climbing and baking • Make friends with a plant sim or genie type inspired sim • Have one child • Get rid of the rich partners weird uncle • After the criminal career leave it and live happily ever after

If you decide to do this challenge please tag me @maidayevergreen , and put the #TS4disney_challenge

#TS4 #ts4_legacy #@maidayevergreen #TS4disney_challenge

[madara-fate]

Not very hard to understand sns. At the base they are sakura haters, and want to be with sasuke. Sakura is obviously not an option because she is less powerful than sasuke, so they aren't equal or whatever, hence, she isn't the one they can use. That leaves Naruto since karin can be eliminated by the same logic. Naruto is very, very bad for sasuke. But according to sns, he stands up to him, fights him, and even turns out to be stronger. Hence, perfect for self-insert shipping since they're dynamic fits there easy. Easy to make tropes, situations, etc about sasuke and Naruto, but all these ppl don't understand sasuke one bit, but just like Naruto , they want to own him. I do ship ss, but I have read a lot of top sns during my early Naruto days and comparing it to sns fiction now, it hasn't changed one bit. Most of them are about how sasuke's redemption journey is not at all important, how sasuke's feelings aren't important, he's just a toy for Naruto to get in the end. No travelling for them obviously, since Naruto is a complete nationalist and no one even dares to try and make him hate konoha or realise sasuke's desire for revenge. Little to no hate for hinata, she's used to make sasuke jealous, sakura bashing almost always, sometimes even bashing Sai for no reason at all, hating on team taka/team 7 depending on their interpretation. I've also observed that the threat to their ship is mostly sakura, but never hinata. Hinata is never the problem because they are all self inserting as Naruto, he can have as many people in love with him as they want, but god forbid sasuke may have ambiguous feelings for sakura or they may even have dated in the past. Although hinata is also not treated very kindly as well, she is just used to make sasuke jealous, or for Naruto to reject, and then simply fade into the background. Sometimes she is also bashed, but it's mostly sakura in sns fics. It's funny and sad that no one really understands sasuke, majority of sns, ss , and God the sk and sasuhina shippers , who are the weirdest bunch of them all XD

All of them in general want sasuke to repent for his revenge , for leaving so and so behind, but it's never about them understanding why and how hard it was for him to do so. Sasuke has just become this object to achieve, as if his perspective isn't important at all. Kishimoto has done a lot of things wrong in Naruto , but making sasuke this complex and unreachable for 90% of the series has mostly started these fan wars. Sns love to call sakura obsessed with sasuke for no reason or shallow reasons , but they can't see that Naruto was just as obsessed, and if they can, they can't see just how obsessed they are with sasuke, for no good reason other than the fact that he would look good with their self insert.

This is the problem with maximum pro sasuke ppl on Tumblr as well as outside, they all turn out to be sns , which just makes their entire page a lie, if you are pro sasuke , hate konoha, but turn around and ship sasuke with the number 1 nationalist Naruto, you really do have some issues lol.

I've been in the fandom for a while now, and despite all the losses sns have had to face, they still are trying to find material in boruto to support their self insert ships, and go hysterical when they are beaten by canon ships, most ss because nh has been dry for content lately, it's very fun to watch them try to cancel entire companies like viz, whose translations they often use to discredit sakura at every turn. It's sakura they are the most scared of, both the people in their otp loved her in their lives, hence she must be eliminated at all times. People are this defensive only when they start thinking that they are one half of their otp.

They're so many examples of this on Tumblr where a pro sasuke who is anti ss turns out to be sns, when the sasuke they all adore, the one in shippuden, had no interest in anyone but his desire to avenge the uchiha.

Same problem with sakura x others, to try and diminish sasuke's value in her life is the dumbest shit I have ever seen and makes me instantly abandon a story. Even if she falls out of love, don't make it seem like it was just a crush or sasuke abhors her. There are stories in which sasuke is downright cruel to her even after his redemption, just to villainize him. It's awful to see how little people understand sasuke, and just use him however for the sake of their self insert. It's making me hate fanfiction again, I definitely agree with you, sasuke is mostly character assassinated in these stories, and it's hard to find stuff where his perspective is properly considered, especially in the sns side of the fandom.

This was a lot to take in, but I can see your point.

#Sasuke Uchiha

[renren-writes]

So let me get this right, in a possible AU where YJH and YSA are trigger happy and decide Unaliving is the best course of action when dealing with Heo Suji, well, that’s a shit timeline. But let’s explore the ways it can go.

OPTION 1)

Heo Suji is dead, death is covered up a crime of circumstance and no one ever finds the perpetrator. His funeral is solemn and his parents never stop trying to find why. There’s absolutely nothing. No proof, no leads, nothing.

Kim Dokja, however, is aware of who did it. He doesn’t know the reason that made Yoo Sooah and Yoo Joonghyun do so and he frankly doesn’t give a shit. But there’s no proof no matter how much he digs and throughout the years Kim Dokja finds himself contemplating many, many ways to prove this. At first, finding clues and proving their involvement. Then despair at realizing he cannot do so. Then he starts wondering if it’d be easier to kill them.

Everyone had told him the loss would get better. Everyone said his best friend would wish Dokja live a good life. Everyone said, said, said, saidsaidsaidsaid—

It doesn’t get better. Kim Dokja is suffocating in this world.

What should I do, Suji? Please tell me.

Then the scenarios happen. There’s no thrill or terror or disbelief of his - their - novel becoming a reality, instead, Kim Dokja turns his eyes to the thing that’s finally accessible to him: Revenge.

Option 2)

Heo Suji is dead. Same circumstances and lack of proof, only a cooling body in a casket and the absence of the boy in this world. Kim Dokja despairs, and tries to put it past him, but it doesn’t get better with time. While he suspected Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk, it’s basically the same as he treated everyone— during that time, he suspected everyone except Suji’s parents.

He finds out way down the road when the scenarios have already started. He has bonds with KimCo. The betrayal is immense and horrifying. Here are things he can do:

1) It creates a rift forever between him, Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk. This betrayal will never be forgotten and forgiven no matter how many trials they are forced to go through, because Kim Dokja wants this world to have a happy ending no matter how it feels like his world is breaking apart. He is very, very angry at them, and this could also result in them splitting off as a group and only coming together for mandatory scenarios.

2) Kim Dokja quietly plots to kill Yoo Sangah and Yoo Joonghyuk, depending on how thin or deep their bonds run. Because he is a scheming rat he plans and plans for it. Anna Croft has nothing on Kim Dokja.

Option 3)

Heo Suji is dead.

No one knows Heo Suji is dead.

They list him as missing or a runaway from his home. No one can contact him or see him and there’s not even a body to confirm his death. He vanishes from the face of earth, but let’s say somehow in this case that everyone thinks he ran away and isn’t dead.

Kim Dokja doesn’t believe it at first, but the intrusive thoughts later on win over — he lives his highschool years more quiet than he’s ever been, thinking “ah, it’s expected after all” that his best friend abandoned him because Kim Dokja wasn’t enough.

Heo Suji is unmourned for over a decade. His body is rotting some place no one except YJH and YSA know, and even then, circumstances might have made it so even they don’t know either. No grave, no funeral, no body.

Kim Dokja finds about his death years later.

Going from thinking your best friend abandoned you to learning he was killed in their young highschool years is… not fun.

It doesn’t get any better.

all three of these are delicious, anon, but option three is by far the most destructive for dokja and i love it

thinking you were abandoned over several years, and then that sudden and crushing realisation that no, you weren't abandoned, you were forcibly separated from him

it's perfection

#ren speaks #and i can confidently say all three situations have the rat on his demon time

[cosmicjoke]

No Regrets: Chapter by Chapter Analysis:

1. Preface to my analysis

Okay, so, since I’ve reached the end of every published volume of SnK so far, and have to wait until October to read the last volume, I thought I’d re-read “No Regrets” and delve into some analyzation of this story, chapter by chapter.

One thing I want to start out by saying, before I get into the details, is that I think “No Regrets” is a vital demonstration of how Levi has always cared about people, and always fought for them.

One misrepresentation I sometimes see regarding Levi’s and Erwin’s relationship is when people claim that Erwin was the one to teach Levi to fight for something bigger than himself, or to fight for others.  The thing is, “No Regrets” clearly demonstrates that Levi already had a strong foundation of caring for others, and fighting for others, before Erwin himself ever had any major influence over him, and I plan on getting into all the examples of that within the story and breaking them down.

First, though, there’s an important quote from Isayama from the joint interview he did with the artist for “No Regrets”, Hikaru Sugura, in which he says about Levi, in response to the question of how he pictured Levi’s internal feelings of going from a “thug” to a “soldier”, “It’s that he found a place to make the most of what he could do, or rather, his own special abilities.  Underground, where it was all he could do to stay alive, he had to live for that, but then he started to form relationships and began to feel that he could do things for others.  And that’s why he first went above ground...”

This is a hugely important quote from Isayama, because he flat out says that, even before Levi came to the surface, he’d already formed bonds with people, and already began to feel like there was something bigger than himself that he could fight for, that he could “do for others”.  Isayama also says here that Underground, “It was all he could do to stay alive”, which signifies with great clarity the struggle someone would have, even someone with Levi’s great strength, of surviving and making it from one day to the next in a place like the Underground.  So, for Levi, it must have already been a terrible burden, simply trying to take care of himself, and live for himself.  But then he meets Furlan and Isabel, and he becomes friends with them, and despite the doubtless added burden to his own existence of having two other people relying so heavily on him for their own survival, he takes that burden onto himself, and does so with willingness and responsibility.  Isayama says that “It’s that he found a place to make the most of what he could do, or rather, his own special abilities.”.  Erwin didn’t instill in Levi a sense of responsibility for others, or the idea of fighting for someone other than himself.  Levi already had that, had already DONE that.  What Erwin did for Levi was show him the path towards maximizing the impact he could have, showing him how he could use his abilities to help the MOST number of people, not just a few people.  Erwin showed Levi that he could have a significant impact on the world, that he could fight for actual, positive change for all people.  Another important part of that quote from Isayama is when he says “And that’s why he first went above ground...”, because it tells us what Levi’s initial drive and intention for going to the surface was, and that was to help give Isabel and Furlan a better life.  He trusted in Furlan’s plans, and went along with them, because it was what Furlan and Isabel had both expressed to Levi that they wanted to do and to have.  Even here, Levi is fighting for the dreams of others.  

I’ve recently read the visual novel of “No Regrets”, and while it had some good parts, it also very much underdeveloped and even at times outright misinterpreted Levi’s character in some really key ways, casting him as someone so hell bent on getting revenge on Erwin, that he is blinded to the safety of Isabel and Furlan, pressing on with his plans to kill Erwin at their expense.  The worst part about this, I thought, was how it reduced the pivotal moment in which Levi chooses to go after Erwin and leave Furlan and Isabel behind to an impulsive, snap decision, in which Levi puts no thought or real consideration into it.  He doesn’t struggle at all in choosing how he does, doesn’t agonize over what he thinks is the right choice, because in that moment, there isn’t even the consideration of another option, he isn’t even making a choice, really, just reacting, which entirely defeats the purpose of Levi’s character motif throughout the main series, which is that he can never know for sure what decision is the right one until after he chooses, but that he has to try and make one he feels is right, and that no matter what, he can’t allow himself to dwell on it with regret afterwards.  This gets corrected in the manga big time, as do several other instances of Levi’s characterization, and I’m going to go over it in more detail when I get to that final chapter.  But the choice Levi makes in the manga is much, much more nuanced, considered, and multifaceted.  Here, he had laid out in his head two, distinct options, and he weighs and balances them against one another in a high pressure situation, before deciding on the one he thinks is best.  He doesn’t just leave his friends, thinking only of Erwin and revenge.  He’s thinking of ALL of them, and of every factor leading up to that point, and that struggle for Levi is what ends up having the affect of ultimately forming his later philosophy of never allowing himself certainty in anything, but also allowing himself leniency in whatever he chooses, knowing that he can’t be so hard on himself for the outcome, whatever it may be, that he isn’t able to move on from it, or use it to keep pushing forward and learn, so that he can do better next time.  It’s important that Levi’s choice in “No Regrets” is actually presented as one made with his full consciousness, one that was a fully thought out one on his part, which is why I really disliked the way it was portrayed in the visual novel, and why I’m glad they corrected it in the manga, which is the canonically accepted version of the story either way.  Because it’s a vital moment in Levi’s character development, with him learning that even when he tries his best to choose right, even when he considers every factor and every, conceivable outcome, even when he does what he thinks, in the moment, is best, it won’t always turn out that way, it won’t always turn out good, or favorably.  He won’t always win.  He won’t always be able to save everyone.  It’s a huge moment of character growth for Levi, who makes a well thought out and considered decision, and it still results in his two, best friends getting killed.  It teaches Levi that he can never have full control of any situation, no matter how hard he tries, and that, in turn, gives Levi a kind of freedom in simple acceptance.  It lifts a burden from his shoulders, even as he experiences enormous grief and loss.  

Anyway, I’m going to be reading the first chapter of “No Regrets” later tonight, and will give my more detailed observations in a separate post.  Thanks for reading, as always guys!

2. Chapter 1: The Wings of Freedom

Okay, so here we go!  Chapter 1 of “No Regrets”!  

There’s a few things I want to point out about this chapter, because both visually and textually, we get a lot of information about the Underground and Levi, and his relationship with Isabel and Furlan.  So I’ll just go through it.

The first thing that really caught my attention for this chapter was the opening page, which is a retrospective shot of Levi after he’s joined the SC, thinking about how he can’t ever know what the results of his choices are going to be.  He says here “I trusted in my own strength... I trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned my faith...”  And this quote from Levi is really important in later understanding why he makes the choice he does, at the end.  He says he trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned his faith, and that tells us that Levi believes in Furlan and Isabel, that he believes in their strength and their capability, that he believes in them enough to let them choose for themselves and trust in their judgement.  We’ll obviously delve more into this as it becomes more relevant to the story.  But moving on...

The next thing to catch my attention is the panels of the Underground we see.  These are probably the best shots of this place we get in the whole series, as it really depicts a place that is totally run down and dilapidated, with buildings falling apart and crumbling in disrepair, filth ridden streets with literal sewage water coming out of drain pipes, and a actual cave cover overhead, complete with stalactites, blocking out all sunlight except for few and far between pockets which break through holes in the rock ceiling.  The most telling panels though are the ones which depict the violence and poverty of the place.  We see a panel of a homeless man passed out on the street, painfully thin looking, and under him, two men in a fight, one beating the other violently.  And the next panel shows us a little girl, sitting barefoot on the ground between two men who have just blown each other’s brains out with guns.  Truly, this is a violent, dark, poverty-stricken place that breeds crime and depravation.  The pages before this say that BECAUSE of the splendor of the Capital city above the Underground, this place exists, and that’s accurate.  Because of the excesses and decadence of the rich and well off above these people rejected by society, that means fewer resources for the less fortunate.  It’s truly tragic.  

Alright, now I just want to move on to some small, but telling moments here while Levi and the others are being chased by Erwin and his crew.  

When Isabel is bragging about how the MP’s never learn, referring to how they’ll never be able to catch their gang, she asks Levi if what she said was cool.  Levi tells her “Don’t be stupid.”  This might seem like Levi just blowing her off, but the way I read it, it seems more to me like Levi is warning her not to be cocky, not to be over confident, because that’s the kind of thing that can get you killed, or caught.  Big Bro indeed!   We also see how mindful Levi is here as a leader, when he tells them they can’t afford to lead the soldiers following them straight to their hideout, and clearly they have a plan in place for just this sort of thing.

More importantly, Levi is fast to realize these aren’t ordinary soldiers after them, which shows his great instincts, but what’s really interesting is his internal thoughts here.  His logic is telling him regular MP’s wouldn’t work this hard to catch them, and that their skill with the ODM means they must be SC.  But Levi doesn’t really believe it which, given what we later find out about the deal with Lobov, and Lobov warning them of Erwin’s plans, tells us that Levi never really believed the SC would come after them.  He’s clearly surprised here.

Further, after informing Isabel and Furlan and confirming his suspicions, he tells Furlan that he’s got no intention of getting mixed up with “these guys”.  This tells us Levi never wanted to go through with Furlan’s plans, never wanted to join the SC, never wanted anything to do with any of it.  There’s further evidenced in this very chapter, which I’ll get to in a moment.  But it tells us a lot about the dubious feelings Levi had from the start, and how he probably would have simply been happiest to stay in the Underground with his friends, even though it was a hard life.  

Alright, so, this next part is a big deal, and it’s an overlooked detail which speaks volumes about the kind of person Levi is.  I didn’t even notice this the first time I read it, so I want to talk about it.  Levi separates from Isabel and Furlan, and takes Erwin and Mike on a wild chase through the back alley’s and narrow passages of the slums.  He really tries to give them the run around here, until he flips over a door, into another area.  What’s really important here is Levi’s dialog.  He says first “... Lost ‘em, huh?”  And then he says, “That got a little crazy...  I hope... none of them crashed.”  This is kind of amazing.  Levi is showing actual concern for the two soldiers who’d just attempted to catch him and his friends, who were doggedly pursuing them with obviously bad intentions of some kind.  And Levi, after having to resort to some serious ODM skills to shake them, says he hopes that none of them crashed.  He doesn’t want Erwin or Mike to get hurt, he just wants to get away from them.  Considering he doesn’t know either of them at this point, they’re just nameless, faceless military dogs trying to mess things up for him, that shows remarkable character.  

Of course, things go downhill from there, when Mike crashes through the door and tackles him.  All bets are off then, because Levi’s life is now in danger, and when that happens, he’ll resort to physical force.  Still, he only throws Mike off of him and once again attempts to get away, only for it to be Erwin who swoops down and cuts Levi’s cables.  This was actually really dangerous.  Given Levi’s momentum and position, he crashes hard into a nearby wall before falling to the ground.  So we already see some of that ruthlessness from Erwin here.  Of course, that spurs Levi into violence himself.  I have no doubt that when Levi lunges for Erwin and knocks his blade away, bringing his knife to his neck, he truly intended to kill him in that moment.  Levi’s compassion for these soldiers can only go so far, considering the desperation of his own circumstances.  If Mike hadn’t been there to stop it, I think Levi probably would have ripped Erwin’s jugular right out, and that would have been that, lol.  And then, it’s important to note too WHY Levi stops.  Not because Mike was able to physically restrain him, but because he tells Levi to look around himself, directing his attention to the fact that Furlan and Isabel have been caught.  That immediately stays Levi’s hand, and once again, we’re shown how Levi puts the wellbeing of his friends above himself.  He could have ditched Furlan and Isabel right then and there and escaped on his own.  Instead, he allows himself to be restrained and cuffed.  He refuses to abandon them.

Now the next scene is hugely important to a lot of stuff.

Erwin’s got Levi and his friends down on their knees, in the sewage, questioning them about their ODM skills, and the three of them stay silent, obviously defiant.  We really get a good look at Erwin’s abilities as a manipulator here.

He’s pulling the whole good cop/bad cop routine on Levi, when he tells him “I’d like to avoid any rough treatment if I can” before looking to Mike in a clear signal for Mike to pretty damn violently tear Levi’s head back by his hair before smashing his face into the sewage on the ground.  And this really IS sewage.  It’s not mud.  If you look at the panels, we see this brown muck coming out of drain pips attached to the surrounding buildings.  This water is probably, literally, dirty with feces, and Erwin has Mike put Levi’s face in this and hold it there.  Now let’s remember something important about Levi.  He’s a clean freak.  He obviously cares deeply about keeping both himself and his environment clean.  Erwin couldn’t know this about him at the time, but nobody of course would be happy about having their face shoved into literal shit.  But for Levi, I can only imagine this had to be tantamount to a kind of torture.  Erwin keeps questioning him, looking down at him without any kind of emotion, and Levi remains stubbornly silent, despite how awful this must truly be for him.  We get a close up of Levi’s eye in one of the panels, paralleled with Erwin’s own, and Levi’s expression really strikes me as one of awful humiliation.  He goes from looking up at Erwin in rage, to looking away, staring straight ahead, while Erwin keeps looking down at him.

Still, Levi says nothing, and it’s Isabel who finally cracks, telling Erwin that they didn’t learn to use ODM from anyone, with Furlan further explaining that they taught themselves as a means of survival.  He remarks that “anyone who doesn’t know what sewage tastes like couldn’t understand!”.  Clearly, both of them are really upset to see this being done to Levi, and I have to imagine it’s at least in part because they know how awful an experience this has to be for him, given that they know how much he desires to stay clean.  Their shocked expressions when Mike first pushes Levi’s face into the sewage says as much too.

But still, Levi remains silent as Erwin then demands to know Levi’s name.  What Mike does to Levi in the next panel is even worse.  He pushes his face into the sewage and holds him there until Levi literally starts to choke in it, for long enough that, when he finally does pull him up, Levi is gasping for breath.  I really don’t see people talk enough about this scene, but, well...

It’s a torture scene.  Erwin is ordering Mike to torture Levi here.  It may not be the most extreme form of torture, it isn’t the type of physical violence we typically think of when we think of torture, but that’s what it is.  It’s causing Levi both physical and mental degradation, as well as physical distress.  

Even with this though, Levi’s still silent and refuses to answer Erwin at all.  

It’s only when Erwin literally threatens the lives of Furlan and Isabel that he finally talks.  This is such an important detail.  Levi was willing to take what to him must have been truly horrific treatment, but as soon as Erwin gives the signal to the other two Scouts who have hold of his friends, we see Levi’s expression shift from defiant rage to wide eyed fear as they put their blades to Furlan’s and Isabel’s throats.  

Finally Levi talks, calling Erwin a “bastard”, to which Erwin simply asks him again what his name is, and after a slight hesitation, Levi finally gives it.  

I think this entire scene is vital in understanding WHY Levi was so violently pissed at Erwin, to the point of wanting to kill him.

I think it’s a combination of both the humiliation and torture he puts Levi through here, and, worse still, the fact that he threatens Isabel and Furlan’s lives.  Levi already feels looked down upon by Erwin here, he already feels humiliated and embarrassed and as though he’s being treated like he’s worthless, because Erwin IS treating him like that here.  All while Erwin stands there, expressionless, making statements like he doesn’t want to have to use any rough treatment, etc... while at the same time ordering Mike to do just that.  Already, Erwin is sending Levi the message that he’s a liar and a manipulator who thinks nothing of putting another human being’s face in shit.  And then, to top that off, he shows Levi that he’s willing to hurt, maybe even kill, his two friends to get what he wants.

Is it any wonder Levi hated Erwin as much as he did at the beginning?  After a lifetime in the Underground where, from the time of his birth, he had to deal with him and those he cares about being treated like worthless trash.  It would be a miracle if Levi DIDN’T want to kill Erwin at this point.  To have to then submit to him willingly, after all of that, must have been beyond humiliating for him.

Erwin continues to be manipulative here too, when after Levi gives his name, Erwin’s attitude suddenly shifts, and he smiles at Levi and gets down on one knee with him, in the filth, his entire demeanor seeming to shift into an abruptly friendly one as he offers his deal to Levi.  Again, that whole good cop/bad cop thing.  At the same time, he continues to threaten Levi by telling him if he refuses his offer, he’ll hand them all over to the MP’s and that, given their crimes, they shouldn’t expect to be treated with any kind of decency.  What’s kind of funny about this statement from Erwin is that up until now, Erwin and Mike have done anything but treat Levi decently.

Okay, one more important point to make about this chapter, and it goes back to what I said earlier about Levi not wanting anything to do with the SC, and how that tells us Levi really didn’t want to go through with Furlan’s plans.

After Erwin makes his offer, we see Levi look over at Furlan, who’s giving him an intent look, and in the next panel, we see an almost surprised, or astonished look on Levi’s face, like he can’t believe Furlan is asking him to do this, before he grits his teeth in obvious frustration, and then accepts Erwin’s offer to join the SC.  What this tells us is that Levi only takes Erwin’s offer because Furlan wanted him to.  Because this was all part of Furlan’s plan, to go through with Lobov’s commission, to get caught by the SC, etc...  It’s clear Levi never wanted this, and he’s upset at having to do it.  But the fact he agrees after looking over at Furlan and seeing him implore Levi with his eyes tells us, once again, that Levi is willing to sacrifice his own desires for the desires of others.  That being his two friends.

For them, he’ll join the Survey Corps, even as every one of his instincts is probably screaming at him that this is a bad idea.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the first chapter of “No Regrets”.  There’s a lot more to unpack in this manga than I think people realize.  I hope whoever took the time to read my long ass post found it at least a little worth while.  I’ll be moving on to chapter two next!

3. Chapter 2: One Arrow

Alright, so onto chapter 2 of “No Regrets”.  

I want to talk a little about these opening panels, when Levi, Furlan and Isabel are being driven to HQ by carriage.  They seem unimportant, but I think they’re actually really important in understanding Levi’s psychology going into this new situation they’re all in.

We see the interior of the carriage, with Levi and the other two, along with an escort from the SC.  Furlan and Isabel are both looking out the window of the carriage, and in particular, Isabel seems incredibly excited and in awe of the passing view.  She’s stood up, with her face pressed to the window.  And in the next panel, we see her looking at a little girl with her mother, dressed nicely and holding a doll.  This really encapsulates everything Isabel herself has probably never had.  A reliable mother to take care of her, fancy clothes and toys to play with.  Essentially, an actual childhood.  We see Isabel’s face in the window, and her mouth is open in wonder, her eyes wide.  Like she can’t believe what she’s seeing.  It emphasizes the depravation and lack of privilege she’s endured all her life.  Meanwhile, by contrast, Levi sits there with his head bowed down, ignoring the passing scenery, looking deeply unhappy, even depressed.  When he does look up though, he sees Isabel looking out the window, and on the close up shot of him, he’s got an almost thoughtful expression, if still extremely dour.  No doubt, Levi is feeling uneasy and uncertain about the situation they’ve all gotten themselves into here, but I’m also sure that he’s unable to ignore the bubbling over excitement of Isabel, her obvious joy in being, at last, on the surface.  I’ll get more into this later in the post, when we see Levi really considering his friends and their dreams, and how it influences and dictates his own decisions.

But first lets talk a little about Erwin and his role in all of this.

Now at the time this series came out, Erwin’s actual, motivating reasons for doing what he does weren’t yet known, so it’s interesting to read into his actions in this story with that context.  I have no doubt that Erwin really DOES care about humanity, and wants to fight for it, and its salvation.  But as we come to learn from the main series, he places his own dream of proving his father right about the existence of human’s beyond the walls above what’s best for humanity, and it puts his actions in this story into an interesting, if harsher light.

No doubt, Erwin is a master manipulator.  He plays both sides expertly against the middle in this story, and I’ll get more into it by the end, when his actual plan is revealed to Levi.  But what I don’t see often discussed is how, exactly, Erwin got all the parts moving in the direction he wanted, to obtain a specific outcome, and how he pretty ruthlessly uses so many people as pawns to do so.  It’s obvious from the context of what we later learn in the story that Erwin first spread a rumor about having evidence against Lovof stealing funds in order to force him into tipping his hand by trying to make a preemptive move.  What I see people miss all the time, or at least, fail to discuss, is how Erwin also, at the same time, made it public knowledge within the Capital, that he would be going after a group of thugs in the Underground who had shown exceptional skill using ODM gear, and that he would be making contact with them as soon as possible to try and enlist them into military service, and how Erwin made these plans public specifically to encourage Lobov into seeking out Levi and his friends for the exact purpose of both implicating Lobov in a crime, and gaining Levi’s and his friends strength for the SC.  One, by hiring a group of criminals to steal from Erwin and attempt to assassinate him, so he could use that as leverage in case he wasn’t able to obtain proof of Lobov’s further criminal activities, thus having two means of getting rid of one of the SC’s biggest threats, and at the same time, also manage to score for the SC the exceptional skill of Levi and his friends through forced enlistment.  He even says to Zackely at one point “I intend to make use of anyone who has even the smallest potential during this expedition.”.  Erwin manipulated and had control of this entire scenario from the start, and from behind these scenes moved all of these people exactly how he wanted to, to achieve his goals.  That’s pretty impressive, but also pretty scary.  Well, I’ll talk more about all of that when we get to it later on.

Back to Levi and his friends though.

We see them arrive at the SC HQ, and a really important conversation happens between Levi and Furlan.  

Furlan seems like he’s almost bitten off more than he can chew here, beginning to express his concern to Levi about what joining the SC actually means, before Levi cuts him off, telling him he’s got no intention of enlisting, and that he only agreed to come along so that he could get closer to Erwin and then kill him.  I think Levi genuinely felt murderous towards Erwin at this point, and really means what he says here, at least about killing him.  Though given the end of chapter 1, with the significant look shared between Levi and Furlan, and Levi’s begrudging acceptance of Erwin’s offer, it’s obvious that Levi also agreed to come because that’s what Furlan wanted him to do, to give them the opportunity they needed.  Levi’s just feeling incredibly emotional here, I think, with the way Erwin treated all of them hot on his mind.  Furlan tries to implore Levi to forget about killing Erwin, that it isn’t necessary anymore because of his own plan, and the almost certainty that Lobov and his people won’t ever try to make contact with them again.  He tells Levi, if he just listens to him and follows his plan, “I know it’ll work.  Trust me, Levi.”  Furlan asking him to trust him pulls a meaningful look from Levi, seeming to break through Levi’s angry insistence on killing Erwin.  This is where the manga improved on Levi’s characterization and motivation by leaps and bounds over the visual novel, because in the next few panels, we see Levi walking away, with Furlan calling after him, concerned, but we get to see Levi’s inner thoughts, and he’s remembering specifically Furlan insisting to him that “one day, we’ll get outta this trash heap and live up above.”  We see Levi thinking about Furlan’s hopes and dreams in these panels, and he has a saddened, and guilt-ridden look on his face, like he feels bad about having dismissed Furlan’s plans back there in favor of his own plans for revenge.  We didn’t get any of this in the visual novel, instead the text there making Levi look like he refused to consider anyones position but his own in this whole situation.  But here, Levi is clearly concerned with and considering Furlan’s desires.  

We go into a flashback then, with Furlan explaining to Levi his plans, telling him that “nothing’s gone according to plan... But with you here we’ll really be able to raise hell.”  Furlan’s trying to explain to Levi that since he now has Levi’s strength to rely on, they can actually get something done once they get into the Survey Corps.  It almost seems like Furlan’s been planning on trying something like this, or at least, had some sort of loose plan about getting to the surface, even before he met Levi.  It’s obviously something he’s been dreaming about for a long time.

Then Isabel comes back, and she’s been roughed up and assaulted, and we learn from Furlan asking her if she went to see those “low-life scumbags again?” that this has obviously happened to her before, that she’s been associating with some bad people and it’s gotten her hurt.  She denies it and lies about having just tripped, but clearly neither Levi or Furlan are buying that.  Levi asks Isabel what happened to her hair, and Isabel reacts badly, running away and hiding in her room.  We get a close up of Levi holding a knife in his hands, foreshadowing his own intentions.  Later that night, Furlan hears Isabel crying in her room, and her chanting to herself over and over that she’s going to “kill you”, presumably meaning the men that hurt her earlier.  Furlan stands there lamenting that he thinks both Levi and Isabel are going “mad”, and that all they can think about is dragging everyone else down to where they are.  He’s obviously terrified that he’s going to lose both his friends to the savagery and ruthlessness of the Underground, that both of them are going to end up becoming lost to their own anger and pain.  He starts to say “That’s why I...” before Levi suddenly comes back in, holding a bloody knife, clearly having returned from exacting revenge on the men who hurt Isabel.  Furlan asks Levi “Did you kill them...?”, and Levi doesn’t answer, but we see a completely resigned, even sad look on his face.  This of course is the world Levi comes from.  It’s the world he was raised in.  A world of kill or be killed.  Levi must have figured, if he didn’t go out and kill those men that had hurt Isabel now, then someday, they would end up going too far with her, and kill her instead.  But Furlan clearly doesn’t understand, and doesn’t relate to that kind of mindset, despite coming from the Underground too.  Of course, Furlan wasn’t raised by Kenny the Ripper either.  This is how Levi was taught to deal with his problems, and Furlan can only see him spiraling into an abyss from which he fears Levi won’t return.

We cut back to the present then, and Levi is sitting up on the roof of the SC HQ, again remembering Furlan’s words about “This is our chance.  Trust me.”.  Getting to the surface and finding better lives for themselves is Furlan’s dream.  The fact that Levi keeps remembering it, keeps remembering Furlan insisting and pushing the idea of the possibility of living on the surface, shows that this is probably something he would talk about all the time with Levi, trying to get him to agree to it, to believe in it.  Once again, Levi is contemplating the hopes and dreams of his friends.  We get another close up of him holding a knife, and it represents, I think, his struggle between his desire for revenge against Erwin, and his desire to help Furlan realize what, to Levi, is probably an unrealistic goal.

We then get Furlan and Isabel joining Levi, commenting on how beautiful the night sky is, and asking Levi how he could keep it to himself.  Levi snips testily at Furlan that him and Isabel are so loud, that he’d be too irritated to get any killing done, and then Furlan looking clearly unsettled by the remark.  But it’s obvious, given the context of the previous panels of Levi’s thinking about Furlan’s dream, that Levi is just being peevish and saying things out of frustration and confusion.  He doesn’t really mean what he says here.  He’s taking his frustration out on Furlan by saying what he knows will upset him the most.  What this also tells us is that Levi is very much aware of how bothered Furlan is by Levi’s willingness to kill.  He isn’t at all oblivious to it, and given his resigned, saddened expression after coming back from killing the men who assaulted Isabel, I would say Levi even understands Furlan’s dismay.  That’s a glimpse at Levi’s famous compassion.

The next panels show the three of them bonding, sitting together and admiring the night sky.  Isabel asks Levi if the stars are as pretty as where he used to live.  I’m just going to chalk the mistake in continuity here up to this manga coming out before, I believe, Levi’s backstory of being born in a brothel in the Underground was established by Isayama.  Regardless of this mistake, this is an important moment between the three of them.  You can see the awe and wonder they all feel, looking up and seeing the sky fully for what has to be the first time in all their lives.  Remember, all three of them have lived literally underground their entire lives, with little to no sunlight, stagnant, stale air, hideously unclean living conditions, etc...  It must be overwhelming to them , just to see nature in all its splendor like that.  It’s after sharing this moment together that Levi tells Furlan that he’s decided he won’t kill Erwin for now.  He looks at him and says “I’m going to trust you.”.  And Furlan smiles at him, clearly happy and relieved.  This scene is really important, because we’re seeing Levi choose Furlan’s dream over his own desire for revenge.  We see Levi place Furlan’s desires over his own, which is totally in line with how Levi is in the main AoT storyline.  He decides his revenge can wait, that it’s not as important as helping Furlan achieve his goals.  What’s particularly remarkable about this, I think, is that it doesn’t appear that Levi ever dreamed of going to the surface himself, and likely that he never even considered it a possibility.  So just like Levi fights, later on, for a world without fear and violence, for humanity’s salvation, even as all his life experiences tell him it likely isn’t possible, we see the Levi doing the same here, deciding to fight for his friend’s dream, even as to him, it seems unrealistic.  It’s obviously a pivotal moment too, when Levi tells him he’s going to trust him, because this ties in hugely with the theme which applies so much to Levi throughout the whole series, of never knowing if it’s better to rely on himself solely, to trust himself, or to trust and rely on his friends and their capabilities.  Levi chooses, here, to trust in his friends, and that will obviously have it’s own ramifications down the line.  Again, this is an area in which the manga improves radically over the visual novel, which had no instances whatsoever of Levi struggling with the question of the choices we make, which is absurd, since it’s one of the driving factors behind who Levi is, and how he ultimately came to see the world as he does.  It was precisely this struggle between choices, between trying to choose correctly, giving so much thought and effort to our choices, and still sometimes coming out wrong, that shaped Levi into being able to accept his lack of control and instead of regretting it, using it to keep fighting.  

4. Chapter 3: ... Of Revolution

Okay, so on to chapter 3 of “No Regrets”!

I’ve got a few observations, so I’ll just delve in.

First thing, and once again, I found this a huge improvement over the visual novel, but we get more insight here into the reason Erwin was so intent on recruiting Levi.  During the scene in which he’s arguing with the other squad leaders about letting a group of “criminals” into their organization, Erwin pushes back against the other scouts deriding Levi and his friends.  I really loved Erwin’s line here, where he says “You’re right.  These people had no training.  They did not earn wings from us.  They grew their own, out of necessity.”  This shows us that Erwin has a grasp and an appreciation for the hardship Levi and his friends faced while growing up, while most of the other SC leaders and even regular recruits can only look down on them and see them as gutter trash.  This shows Erwin’s own scope of vision, his ability to look past a person’s upbringing and background and not make judgments about them based on that.  More telling still is his comment about how “those wings will play a part in revolutionizing this organization.”.  He wanted Levi’s skills in particular because he knew having someone like Levi around, with exceptional ability, would shift the way they all fight Titans.  He was, as always, looking for ways to increase the effectiveness of the SC, and was willing to do whatever he could, and through any means necessary, to ensure it.  

The next thing that caught my attention is the glare Levi and Erwin share during the trio’s introduction to the rest of the soldiers.  Erwin’s right in front of Levi, standing there, reminding him of his anger and humiliation no doubt, and I think that leads directly into and impacts the next scene, when Flagon shows them their sleeping arrangements.  Levi’s already no doubt irritated by having to see Erwin again, and then Flagon makes his frankly deeply disparaging remark about Levi and his friends having spent their whole lives living in a trash heap, implying that they’re filthy gutter trash, and so surely are incapable of keeping themselves and their environment clean.  Levi, understandably, reacts badly to this, and gets in Flagon’s face, asking him what he just said, before Furlan intervenes.  When you consider the way Erwin already made Levi feel so humiliated and Levi’s subsequent anger at it, then having to see Erwin again not long before this scene, and hearing Flagon just callously make an accusation like that must have only infuriated Levi more.  I think, once again, the manga is doing an infinitely better job of portraying the tension, then, that’s starting to form between Levi and Furlan.  Furlan scolds Levi after Flagon leaves, almost talking down to him when he says “Didn’t I tell you not to cause trouble?!”.  Almost like he’s talking to some misbehaving little kid.  Levi’s expression in the following panel says a lot, I think.  Levi looks almost chastised, like he knows he’s upset Furlan, before he tries to explain himself, asking Furlan “Didn’t you hear how he talked about us?  Like shit calling shit dirty.”.  It’s really interesting what this says about the power dynamic in their relationship.  Levi is ostensibly the leader of their group, but Furlan’s acting, in a lot of ways, like he’s the one in charge and he expects Levi to fall in line.  Clearly, he’s not afraid of scolding Levi, or challenging him.  All of Furlan’s insistence that they lay low and not do anything to draw attention to themselves must only be chaffing though at Levi’s already heated feelings about the kind of treatment they’re receiving, how they’re being talked down to, etc...  It must be galling to him, to see Furlan not seeming to care that they’re all being so deeply disrespected.  But he still continues to defer to Furlan, and agree to go along with his plan for now, though he makes his displeasure known by calling it a pain in the ass.

But seeing Erwin, and then being treated the way they were by Flagon, seems to have rekindled Levi’s desire to take his revenge, and he reminds Furlan that he’ll continue to go along with his plan, but that he’s still going to kill Erwin.  Once again, we see Levi being pulled in two different directions.  He’s giving priority to Furlan’s plans and wishes, but he’s still thinking about getting Erwin back.  He’s annoyed that they weren’t assigned to Erwin’s squad, probably because it means it’s going to limit their contact, giving him less opportunities to kill him.  Another line that I think signifies Lev’s annoyance at Furlan and how, well, dismissive he is of Levi’s own feelings, is after he tells them they have to clean the area around their beds before leaving for training, and in response to Isabel’s protests, he says “You wouldn’t want me to cause trouble, would you?”.  He’s throwing Furlan’s words back in his face here, and it seems clear to me that Levi is frustrated and doesn’t appreciate the way Furlan’s been talking to him, or how little consideration for his own wishes he’s shown.  There’s a lot of tension there.

Another really important scene is the one in the training yard, so I’ll got through it here.

Particularly when Isabel is talking to the Scout helping her with horse riding, and they get to talking about life in the Underground, and then Levi.  What Isabel says, and the visual of the panel here, is particularly powerful.  She says “It got so I thought I was gonna die.  But life’s a little better since Levi saved me from that.”.  And we see in the panel Levi lifting Isabels’ head up, obviously checking if she’s alive.  There’s all these people, collapsed around her, and the fact that Levi is checking to see if she’s alive is interesting, because it makes me think this is something Levi would regularly do.  That he would check to see if anyone was alive when he came across people collapsed in the streets.  It’s probably not unusual to come across dead bodies in the Underground, and for someone like Levi, who’s lived there all his life, he’s no doubt seen plenty.  The fact he checks Isabel shows a lack of callousness towards the sight, which is incredible, to not become uncaring or apathetic towards suffering, even when you’re surrounded by it your whole life.  It’s a highly unusual quality to have, but of course, it makes perfect sense for Levi, who’s so full of compassion.  

Nevertheless, it would have been simpler for him to just keep moving and ignore her, but instead he stopped, and when he discovered she was still alive, he took her in and gave her food and shelter and a home.  She would have died otherwise.  Levi had no obligation towards her, he had no, really good reason to do something so selfless, and yet, he did.  And this truly is remarkable, especially when you consider the kind of cut throat world Levi grew up in, the kind of ruthless people he’d encountered, and even lived with, like Kenny, all his life.

Then there’s Furlan’s discussion with another soldier, and his story about Levi.  The most interesting thing Furlan says here is how, after his own friends turned on him, he’s followed Levi ever since.  And then he says “Though it might be problematic making him any kind of leader!”.  It’s interesting what this reveals to us about Levi.  People want to follow him because he’s so strong, but Levi himself has no desire for power, or control over others.  People willingly attach themselves to him, because they think Levi can protect them, but Levi isn’t any kind of natural leader.  So we know Levi was more or less forced into the role of leader by way of others seeking him out and assigning him that role.  What’s interesting about this is how it, once again, reveals the kind of person Levi is.  He could easily have rejected all of these people and abandoned them.  One thing we know is that Levi didn’t need any help surviving on his own in the Underground.  But instead Levi allows them to stay with him and willingly offers his help and protection, and though it’s probably more of a pain and a nuisance to him than anything else.  It shows that Levi’s never been able to turn away from those seeking his help.

Which leads nicely into the next scene.  

I’ve talked about this scene before, and how disappointed I was that they didn’t include it in the OVA.  This also wasn’t included in the visual novel, which is, once more, just another way in which the manga is superior.  

Flagon is once again criticizing Levi for holding his blades “wrong”, telling him he’s going to end up getting killed outside the walls.  And then the training exercise begins, and we see one of the other soldiers trying to compete with Levi, and growing increasingly incensed and annoyed at Levi’s prowess.  He thinks “These vagrants with no knowledge as soldiers...” and then “I trained half to death, and these criminals think they’re better?!”.  What’s interesting is to see that while this soldier is fuming internally over Levi’s perceived slight of him, glaring at him angrily, Levi clearly hasn’t even taken notice of him.  This isn’t a competition to Levi at all.  He’s just there to do the exercises.  He’s staring straight ahead, blank faced as always.  

Now what happens next is once more hugely revealing as to Levi’s character.  The infuriated soldier decides he’s not going to accept that Levi’s better than him, and so he intentionally pushes off of a tree and cuts Levi off mid-flight. What struck me about this is how incredibly dangerous it was.  Levi’s going, presumably, full speed, through this obstacle course, and this dude, out of petty jealousy, cuts him off by flying right in front of and past him, forcing Levi to pull back and change direction.  A stunt like this could have easily resulted in serious injury for Levi, or even death, if he weren’t as gifted as he is.  To top it off, this soldier then brags about it, calling out to Levi “Don’t get left behind!”.  Of course, his arrogance leads to immediate disaster, as the soldier that went through the course before lost one of their blades in the dummy Titan, and this dude’s flying towards it at top speed, with no way to stop himself or change direction in time.  He’s about to be impaled by a blade.  Considering the danger he’s just placed Levi in, then, it truly is a testament to Levi’s goodness, that he launches off the tree he’s stopped on, racing ahead and slicing the stray blade free before the other soldier can make contact, resulting in him harmlessly crashing into the pad, instead of dying.  This really shows how Levi’s first instinct is always to help others.  Even when others have just not only treated him badly, but even endangered his life.  He doesn’t owe this soldier anything, and by all rights should be extremely pissed at him for his petty display before.  But instead Levi just automatically reacts to his life being threatened by saving the man.  He doesn’t even scold him afterward or express anger, just flies off and continues the course.  

What makes this whole thing kind of sad is both the soldier’s and Flagon’s reaction to this.  The soldier is still angry and upset over Levi’s superior ability, wondering how he can be so fast, not even sparring a thought of appreciation for him just saving his life.  And then Flagon grudgingly admits to Levi’s fighting prowess, but continues to doubt him and his ability to stay disciplined.  Even after saving one of his own men’s lives, he still continues to look down on Levi.  That’s pretty messed up. Levi glares back at him after, as if to say “Who’s the one who’s going to get people killed out there?”.  Levi saved a soldiers life, while Flagon could only sit and watch.  It’s interesting too how this, tragically, foreshadows what’s to come though, with Levi not being able to save the people he cares the most about.  But we’ll get into that when we get there.

Also, just gotta mention also the way Levi reacts to Isabel’s getting upset after he bonks her in the head and calls her stupid.  He looks surprised when she starts crying, and it’s clear he didn’t mean to actually hurt her feelings, and it’s just really sweet, the way he rubs her head after.  He obviously felt bad.

5. Chapter 4: Proof

Alright, just a few things to say about chapter 4 of “No Regrets”.  

One thing that I love that was in the manga that, once again, wasn’t in the visual novel, was Levi’s reaction as they ride out from Shinganshina, as well as Furlan’s and Isabel’s.  This kind of internal exploration of these characters who had never been to the surface, who had spent their whole lives in darkness, getting to see the sky for the first time, was something that was entirely absent from the visual novel, and it’s one of its biggest weaknesses.  But here, we see Levi looking up at the stone structure of the wall gate, and for a moment, he imagines the ceiling of the Underground, before they emerge out into the open and the full view of the sky appears for the first time.  Levi squints up at the glaring sun, and we see an expression of genuine awe and amazement on his face, as well as Furlan and Isabel.  This is the first time any of them have experienced anything like this, and the overwhelming beauty of it for them is wonderfully visualized here.  The way Levi goes from seeing the claustrophobia and imprisonment of the Underground, and how that opens up into a clear, blue, ending sky, really symbolizes him experiencing for the first time in his life a kind of freedom he’s never before had.  And there’s something incredibly moving, but also incredibly tragic about that.

Now another point I want to address, where the manga and anime both differ from the visual novel, in a really vital way, is how here, we see Furlan lamenting that they’ve left the walls, saying “This is terrible.  I never meant to leave the walls.  If we’d followed the plan, we would have grabbed them and snuck away by now!”.  This shows that they’ve been looking for the documents in vain for several months now, and still have yet to find them.  Furlan’s plan had obviously originally been to find them and then get out of dodge, but because they weren’t able, they ended up having to wait around longer, until the time came for the expedition.  Now how this is presented in the visual novel really struck me as horrifically out of character for Levi.  In the novel, it’s explained that the reason they haven’t left is because Levi kept insisting that he had to kill Erwin, refusing to leave until he could do so, and if not for that, Furlan would have forgotten about the documents and simply had them all desert the SC, back to the Underground.   Levi intentionally ignoring the safety of his friends for revenge on Erwin really goes against everything we know about him from canon, and was a pretty glaring detail, so I’m glad they nixed that here.  There’s no mention of Levi forcing them to stay because of his need for revenge, but rather an implication that none of them were willing to leave until they got the documents.  They took this a step further in the OVA even, with that one scene in which Levi argues with Furlan and Isabel, insisting that if it comes to them having to leave the walls, he’s going to go alone, and he wants them to stay behind.  This really is an important distinction to make in Levi’s characterization.  We know he always places the safety of his comrades above all else, if he can, and tries his best to keep them alive.  And the whole reason he agreed to Furlan’s plan in the first place was because he wanted to help Furlan’s and Isabel’s dream of living up above come true.  He would never purposefully endanger their lives, or so thoughtlessly dismiss their safety.  This is something which gets further corrected later in the story, too, when Levi makes his fateful choice, and I’ll get more into it there as well.  One detail though is how Levi tells Furlan not to worry, that he’ll “do something about the Titans.”.  Levi clearly believes in his own strength, and believes it will be enough to protect his friends at this point, which goes back to the theme of him struggling to know which is better to rely on, oneself, or ones comrades.  Here, he’s relying on himself to protect them.  He asks Furlan “Don’t you trust me?”.  He’s reminding Furlan that he’s never let him down before, and he promises he won’t now either.  

We see Furlan later finding that full trust again, when Levi engages with the abnormal titan, and sees his fearlessness, giving him his own strength to fight.  It speaks volumes about the kind of camaraderie shared between all three of them, that they’re able to work so smoothly and effectively together the first time any of them have ever fought a Titan, and how deeply Furlan and Isabel trust Levi to get them through any dangerous situation, as they willingly follow him into battle.

6. Chapter 5: Hearts

Alright, onto chapter 5 of “No Regrets” and then I’ll do the last three chapters tomorrow.

The first thing I took note of was how after everyone gets to the castle ruins, Levi reminds Furlan and Isabel that they’re still outside the walls, and that anything could happen, so they should “stay sharp.”.  Once again we see Levi being concerned with the safety of his friends, remind them not to put their guards down.  This leads into the next scene, where Furlan remarks that he never thought they’d be able to stop a titan so easily, and reaffirms his faith in Levi’s strength by saying as long as Levi’s with them, they’ll survive somehow.  Levi responds to this with some self-doubt, which is really interesting and will tie into some other observations I’ve made about this chapter, later on.  He says if there’s more than one of those abnormal titans, he’s not so sure they’ll be alright.  Clearly, he’s concerned for the wellbeing of his friends while they’re on the outside like this.  He doesn’t feel totally confident.

He then asks Furlan if he’s sure Erwin’s brought the documents with him outside the Walls, which tells us that they’ve obviously had previous discussions about this, that it was a group decision between them, of the necessity of leaving the walls in order to get close enough to Erwin to get the papers.  Furlan says he made sure, talking about how he searched Erwin’s office top to bottom, observing that he found a bunch of unrelated documents, and in particular, a locked drawer which he found suspicious.  Now what I find interesting here is Furlan’s internal thoughts, because I think he realized Erwin’s intentions already, but he dismissed his suspicions based on them seeming unlikely to him.  But in his memory, he thinks, when he sees the locked drawer, that it’s almost like it was made to be searched, and upon opening it, he finds plenty of secret looking documents, but not the ones they need. He then wonders if Erwin is trying to tell him that they’re not there.  What’s so interesting about this is just how deep is shows Erwin’s manipulation of this situation actually goes, and how many steps ahead he actually is. We saw in chapter 3 how Erwin was standing at his office window, observing Furlan, which tells us that he was always aware that Furlan was going to try and find the documents, which in turn lead to Erwin arranging his office to nudge Furlan in the right direction, of thinking the documents aren’t anywhere at HQ.  Furlan picks up on this possibility, that Erwin is in fact manipulating them, wondering to himself if Erwin WANTS him to think he has the papers on him, giving him the “run around”, but he dismisses the thought out of hand a moment later.  What this tells me is just how in control Erwin is here, and it made me think that it’s possible Erwin influenced Furlan’s thinking in this direction, to assuming Erwin had the papers with him, as a means of keeping him, Levi and Isabel there in the military longer, delaying their escape, so that he could intentionally force them outside the walls on an expedition, so he could see what they were actually capable of.  At the end of chapter 4, after seeing Levi take down that abnormal titan, he observes to himself, “So your wings are the real thing, after all, Levi.”.  This is just speculation on my part, but given what a masterful manipulator Erwin really is, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his plan the whole time, knowing Levi and his friends wouldn’t and couldn’t leave until they had the documents.

Alright, next observation. It’s kind of funny how, after laying out his plan to search Erwin’s bags with Isabel, and asking Levi to guard the passageway Erwin went down with Shadis, and to stop him if he started to come back before they were finished, Levi’s first assumption is that he should start a fight with Erwin, lol.

More interesting is when Furlan says to Levi “Don’t kill him, even by accident.  After all, if we lose an officer outside the walls, we’ll be in trouble, too.”.  Because it tells us that they weren’t ever planning on killing Erwin outside of the walls when they went out on expedition.  The goal was to try and find the documents, and hoping going beyond the walls would yield an opportunity to do so.  This is another, vital change from the visual novel.  In that, Levi is still obsessing over killing Erwin, over any consideration for the original plan, ranting even that he’s going to make Erwin get down on his knees and beg for his life before killing him, and that just struck me as wildly out of character for him.  They wisely took out that entire piece of dialog here, and instead we lead into a scene of Levi guarding the passageway, and remembering the whole reason for why he agreed to come to the surface in the first place. We go into a flashback of Lovof’s messenger making contact with Levi and the others, propositioning them with Lovof’s commission.  What’s really important in this scene is Levi’s initial reaction to the proposal. He’s immediately skeptical and disbelieving, and doesn’t want anything to do with it.  He tells the messenger so, and tells him “Go back up there and I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything.”.  Levi shows great instincts here, sensing the danger present for him and his friends, and outright rejects any association.  It’s Furlan, then, who steps in and shows interest in the deal, calling the messenger back.  Levi’s clearly confused, but yields to Furlan’s look, and Furlan proceeds to tell the messenger that they’ll have to think about it, but that they’re interested. Levi’s clearly not happy about this, and once the messenger leaves, he begins to protest, but Furlan cuts him off and starts to lay out his plan to tail the messenger to find out who his employer is.  Isabel expresses disbelief that Furlan actually means to go through with this plan, and Furlan again brings up the dream of making it out of the Underground, talking about how rare a chance it is, to actually live in the Capital, obviously trying to entice both Levi and Isabel with the notion.  Levi points out that even if they get the documents, it’ll just lead to them being Lovof’s next targets, and Furlan responds with his plan to blackmail Lovof instead.  Levi’s still dubious on this idea, asking Furlan if he really thinks “those pigs will care about a threat from the Underground?”, and Furlan responds that it’s worth a shot.  He then implores Levi and Isabel again, saying “Come on, you two, don’t you want to make it up there?”, and we cut back to Levi in the present, contemplating Furlan’s words.  Again, we see Levi thinking long and hard on Furlan’s dreams here, over any thoughts he has of Erwin or revenge.  He’s prioritizing Furlan’s wishes over his own still, thoughts occupied by what his friend wants.

Now, this leads into a really interesting and meaningful encounter with Erwin.

Well, the first thing I notice in the exchange is when Erwin calls Levi’s friends his “subordinates”, and Levi responds with “They’re not my subordinates…”.  This tells us so much about how he views himself in relation to Furlan and Isabel.  He doesn’t see himself as their leader.  He doesn’t want to control them.  He just sees himself as their friend, and protector.

Now the conversation between Levi and Erwin gets really interesting when Erwin starts talking about having seen Levi take down the abnormal titan from earlier, and he observes that with a natural like Levi around, the others must feel safer.  Levi looks at Erwin with wide eyes, before responding to him that the reason he was able to figure out how to fight that titan before was because he watched how it moved as it ate another soldier.  I think Levi’s feelings of guilt here are pretty obvious.  He feels bad for having watched another soldier die, and using his observations while watching to figure out how to kill the titan.  It’s like he’s arguing with Erwin here, telling him the others shouldn’t feel safer with him around, that they shouldn’t rely on him.  Levi is showing doubt in himself here, again, just like earlier when he pushed back again Furlan’s claims that as long as he’s with them, they’ll be safe.  Interestingly, it’s Erwin who essentially tells Levi here that he shouldn’t feel guilty, that the SC is built on those types of sacrifices, and that as long as they’re fighting to take back the world for humanity, none of the soldiers there would feel regret for dedicating themselves to such a cause.   I think this is actually the start of the turning point in how Levi views Erwin.  He looks at him here with an almost astonished expression, like he’s seeing Erwin in a sudden, new light.  Like he’s starting to doubt his own, initial impressions of him, and wonder if maybe he wasn’t totally right.  But before he can think on it further, Isabel shows up and calls him away.

Levi then learns that Furlan and Isabel weren’t able to find the documents, essentially confirming that if they’re anywhere, they have to be on Erwin’s person, which leads to the inevitability of having to kill him if they want to get their hands on the papers. Levi’s find with this, because it’s what he wants to do anyway, even as Furlan shows continued apprehension.

And then we get the scene with Hange.

It’s pretty funny that Levi was about to gut Hange, for real, when he thought she had overheard their conversation.  It tells us how far he’s willing to go though to protect his friends.

Still, this whole scene is actually pretty moving, in its way.  Because Hange is really the first person to express genuine gratitude towards Levi and his friends, and treat them as genuine equals, to which we see Isabel in particular respond after seemingly being unimpressed.   Even Levi seems stunned, muttering out “thanks”, like he doesn’t know what else to say as Hange heaps praise on them.  It’s also funny how Furlan has to remind Levi to “be nice.”.  Poor Levi just doesn’t know how to socialize.

But the important part of this scene is when Hange points out how everyone there is wanting to know how Levi was able to take down a titan so easily, drawing their attention, and Levi’s in particular, to the other soldiers watching them.  Hange affirms what Erwin had said to Levi earlier, about how his presence there made the others feel safer, when she says “You’ve given them hope that humans don’t have to lose to the titans if we fight correctly.”. And we see here, I think, the first seeds being planted in Levi’s mind that he might be able to do more, that he might be able to actually help these people.  He’s been told as much twice in quick succession.  I think this is where Levi starts to get the idea for the first time that he might have found somewhere where he belongs.  We’ll get more into this next chapter, when I talk about his conversation with Isabel.  But for now, after Hange asks him again if he has any advice, he tells them he just has his own way of doing things, and he can’t teach it to anybody.  When she tries to insist, he blows her off and looks away.  

Furlan asks Levi, after Hange leaves, what the big deal is in just showing them some simple trick, and Levi says he doesn’t want to be responsible for the loves of anyone other than you two.  This is really important, because it again tells us a lot about Levi’s psychology here. He doesn’t want to teach these people how to fight because he doesn’t want to be responsible for them getting hurt or killed.  Just as he expressed discomfort earlier with what Erwin said, and his own sense of guilt over how he figured out how to fight the titan, Levi really seems to me like he’s afraid here of failing to protect others, and actually harbors deep doubts about his own ability to do so.  So even as we know people tend to flock around Levi and follow him in the belief he can protect them, Levi himself is afraid that he isn’t strong enough to help them the way they want him to.  It’s indicative of someone who’s experienced deep loss in their life, which we know Levi has at this point.  Someone who’s afraid of making attachments because he doesn’t want to have to experience the pain of that loss ever again.  And it shows a painful insecurity in Levi.  He wants to help people, but he doesn’t want to end up failing them, or doing something which could lead to them getting hurt or killed.  He doesn’t want to be responsible for their lives, because he’s afraid he can’t be.  

Furlan tells him not to be so dramatic, and Levi doesn’t say anything in return, but we see a resigned, saddened look on his face, like he knows Furlan wouldn’t understand if he tried to explain how he feels.

Then we get Isabel’s comment about not understanding trying to take back the world for humanity, but her starting to realize the Scouts genuinely believe in what they’re doing. We see Levi’s silence again in response, but this one is more contemplative.  He himself is starting to realize the same as Isabel.  That these people really believe in what they’re saying.  And again we go back to the first seeds of a sense of belonging starting to develop in Levi, even before his big moment with Erwin at the end.  He’s starting to sense that maybe he’s found a place where he belongs, where he can actually use his abilities in a way that could make an actual difference in the world. It’s subconscious at this point, but Levi is starting to get that sense I think.

7. Chapter 6: Living Creatures

Okay, onto chapter 6 of “No Regrets”!

So the first thing I want to jump into here is, once again, something which the manga vastly improved on over the visual novel, and that was the scene following the flashback to Levi and his friends learning about the long-distance scouting formation before the expedition, and then Flagon’s instructions to them in the present.  I don’t think this scene was even included in the visual novel, but it’s indispensable in understanding Levi’s mindset going into the fateful final act.

Isabel gets carried away by Flagon’s speech, and ends up saluting, expressing genuine enthusiasm for the SC’s cause, before realizing what she’s done and turning around, seeing Levi and Furlan looking back at her in silence.  Furlan looks unimpressed, while Levi wears his usual stoic expression. You can’t tell one way or the other what he’s thinking, which is why the next scene is so hugely important, because we get a look into his inner thoughts.

I saw another person say not long ago that in this scene, Isabel expresses a desire to join the SC, and Levi blows her off and ignores her, only thinking about his revenge on Erwin, and to that person, I would like to ask ‘What scene were you reading?’, because that’s pretty much the opposite of what happens here.  This scene reveals so much about Levi’s own, inner conflict, and how he’s beginning HIMSELF to understand and even sympathize with the cause of the SC, and the soldiers who have dedicated themselves to it.  Let’s dissect it here a bit.

The scene takes place at night, before they ride out again, and Levi is sitting up with Furlan and Isabel, and he’s thinking quietly to himself.  The first thing he’s recalling in his contemplation here is Sairam’s words, asking Levi if he knows how many elite soldiers have been eaten by Titans. This plainly shows Levi’s growing concern for Furlan and Isabel.  The longer they spend outside the walls, the higher the risk of something going wrong, and that’s a worry that’s heavy on Levi’s mind here.

He then remembers, in quick succession, all these various interactions and the words of different people throughout his short time up here on the surface.  He recalls Sairam hurling insults at him and his friends, calling them punks, and then Hange’s opposite words of encouragement and appreciation, telling them they’ve given everyone hope.  He recalls Furlan’s words, telling Levi that with him there, they’ll really be able to raise hell, and then Isabel’s words, pointing out that the SC soldiers really believe their cause is worth dying for.  Finally, Levi recalls Flagon’s degrading words, about how Levi and his friends have spent their whole lives in a trash heap, implying they’ll never amount to anything more than garbage, and last, he recalls Erwin’s words, how he’d seen the desire to kill in Levi during their first encounter.  

All of this is hugely important to understanding Levi’s psychology, I think, and understanding his feelings of conflict and confusion, and how it ultimately plays into him making the choice he does.  For Sairam’s and Flagon’s words, it’s the assumption people have made about Levi all his life, that he’s nothing but a worthless criminal who can’t do anything good for anyone, and Levi’s struggle to overcome that perception that people have of him.  In contrast to that, Hange’s words are sending Levi the opposite message, that he isn’t just a worthless criminal, but someone who can actually contribute something positive and important to other people’s lives.  He’s someone who can inspire hope.  Something Levi’s always secretly wished he could do.  And then there’s Furlan’s words, serving as a confirmation to Hange’s, in which he expresses his reliance on Levi to help make his own dreams come true, and Levi seeing himself in that role, of taking care of these two people whom he loves.  And there’s Isabel’s words, a clear admiration and astonishment at the realization that these soldiers really believe in a cause bigger than themselves.

We see all of Levi’s greater hopes, his desire and wish to help other people, coming into conflict here with the way he’s been treated all his life by others, as a worthless, good for nothing criminal, and how that treatment has forced him to become the very thing they accuse him of being, someone ready and willing to kill, someone ready to commit crimes, etc…  It’s Levi’s pride and anger battling with his deeper desire to protect and help others. The thing his life and his environment has FORCED him to become, against his truer nature.  This is such a vital, important scene, and once again, the manga succeeds in explaining and revealing Levi’s complexity as a character, whereas the visual novel just flat out butchered it.

Now getting back to Levi’s interaction with Isabel in this scene, and the woeful misinterpretation I saw another person make one time.  

Furlan is talking about how, given the complexity of the formation, they won’t be able to break ranks without being spotted, and he suggests they should just wait until they’re back behind the walls before trying to steal the documents again. Levi points out that if all three of them leave, then yeah, they’ll likely be spotted, and gives no further opinion.  Already, Levi is thinking that maybe he could go after Erwin and the documents alone, thinking of taking the entire burden of the operation on himself, carrying the hopes and dreams of all of them on his shoulders alone, (which is why he later calls himself conceited and proud, having relied on his own strength entirely, instead of his friends too, ending in failure, which in turn goes back to the very beginning, with Levi’s statement about never knowing what the better option is, to rely on oneself, or on their comrades).  But anyway, he doesn’t protest or try to counter Furlan when he says they should just focus on getting back alive.  Isabel expresses agreement, and then says she knows the documents are important, but she also doesn’t want to get in the way of the SC and what they’re trying to do.  Now here’s where the conversation gets really important in, once more, understanding Levi’s psychology.

He and Furlan look over at her, and while Levi stays silent, Furlan gets annoyed, chastising Isabel for seeming to suddenly care about the other soldiers, accusing her of only caring because Hange’s cookies were good.  Furlan clearly doesn’t understand Isabel’s sentiments here, he doesn’t get why she suddenly seems concerned.  He’s still focused on their own goals, and that’s all that matters to him.  But Isabel begins to explain that it’s just that she’s starting to understand why the SC goes out beyond the walls, and likens it to how they felt living in the Underground, wanting to escape to the world above.  She’s saying she understands that sense of being trapped, of being imprisoned, and the longing for freedom.  And then she talks about seeing lots of her friends dying underground, while dreaming of making it “up there.”, and how seeing that made her feel like she HAD to get up there.  It’s like Isabel is saying here that her dream to make it to the surface was strengthened by the dreams of others who never got to realize it for themselves, and that she wanted to make it to the surface, more than anything, as a way of giving the dreams of those who had died without realizing them, meaning.  By making it to the surface FOR THEM.  She starts to try and explain what she means, saying ‘It’s…” before Levi suddenly speaks for the first time since her monologue, saying “It’s like leaving the walls behind to kill the Titans…”

This is such a huge moment. Because contrary to what I saw this one person claim once, Levi is acknowledging Isabel’s feelings, and expressing empathy with them.  He’s telling Isabel here that he understands what she means, because he feels it too. This desire to fight for freedom as a way to give meaning to the suffering of those who couldn’t escape their imprisonment.  Levi, rather than ignoring or blowing Isabel off here, is relating to her.  Her feelings are his own.  Isabel smiles dreamily and says “Yeah.” Because Levi put her thoughts into words.  She then keeps talking to Levi, starting to ramble about what she wants to do when they get to live in the Capital, how fun she thinks it would be to steal from all the “rich pigs” and use their money to buy useless junk, before she falls asleep.

Furlan then kind of bursts this bubble of reverie that Isabel and Levi have fallen into, and what he says here is, again, so important.  He says “I’ve got to revise our plan.  We’ll need to steal the documents before you and she start seriously talking about dedicating your hearts, or whatever.”  Furlan’s perceived how Levi’s own feelings are beginning to match up with Isabel’s, how he’s starting to feel drawn to and sympathetic towards the SC’s cause, and he’s worried, because that’s not what they’re supposed to be there for.  They’re supposed to be there to steal the documents so they can get a chance to live in the Capital.  This is Furlan’s dream, ultimately, and he doesn’t want to lose sight of it to some unrealistic ideal.  What’s so interesting here is the contrast between Levi and Furlan.  While Levi is so quiet and reserved and hard to read, he’s actually showing himself to be more of the dreamer of the two, while Furlan is much more practical and less prone to fanciful, ideal notions like helping people beyond their own means.  

We get one last shot of Levi gazing at Isable, thoughtfully.  He’s still thinking about her words.

Alright, then comes the next big scene, with all of them outside again, to try Erwin’s new formation.  We see, again, Levi’s gradually shifting opinion of Erwin already, when he remarks that Erwin’s idea is “brilliant”, once he sees how it works, expressing genuine admiration for it and Erwin’s mind.  Levi still hates Erwin, and want to kill him, but we already see this desire in him starting to crack and come apart, replaced by an almost astonished curiosity instead.  Like he isn’t sure what Erwin is, but he’s impressed, in spite of himself.  

Then the storm comes and everything starts to fall apart.

Another, massive and vital change here in the manga from the visual novel is Levi’s reaction to the sudden storm.  In the visual novel, Levi’s first and only response to it is that he can use it as cover to go after and kill Erwin, sparing no thought to the safety of his friends, or the other people in his squad.  It was another instance in which I thought Levi’s characterization in the novel was just horribly butchered, and so once again, I was so glad to see them correct it here.  Levi’s first response, after he, Furlan and Isabel start to lose contact with Flagon and the others, is to scream at his friends to not get separated.  He's only worried about them in this moment, and wants to make sure they don’t lose contact with each other.  He isn’t thinking at all about leaving them here yet.  Just this small addition completely changes Levi’s motivations and priorities, leading into the fateful choice, and it’s immeasurably better characterization for him then what was presented in the visual novel.  I’ll get more into it with the next chapter. So until then, thanks again for reading.

8. Chapter 7: Those Three

Okay, onto chapter 7 of “No Regrets”, and there’s really no need for me to say that this is by far the most heartbreaking chapter.  I think, perhaps, the most tragic part of it all is that Levi made the choice that he did because he was actually trying to protect everyone.  Now I’m going to break his choice down and get into the details of that, so let’s just dive right in.

First off, I want to talk a little about, once more, the pivotal contrasts between the way Levi’s choice is presented here in the manga, and how it was presented in the visual novel, and why, like everything the manga’s done so far, it’s an immeasurable improvement in the manga.

Basically, the way Levi’s choice in the visual novel plays out doesn’t in any way relate to his later philosophy which serves as the driving force behind Levi’s character in the main SnK series, while the way his choice plays out in the manga relates to it completely.  

In the visual novel, it isn’t even really a choice at all.  There isn’t any consideration or struggle for Levi to choose one way or the other.  Levi acts purely on impulse, and as I stated in my analysis for chapter 6, he reacts to the sudden storm by wanting to use it as cover so he can go and kill Erwin. That’s it.  That’s his sole motivation for leaving his friends behind. He puts no thought into it, he doesn’t consider the ramifications, he doesn’t seemingly care about anything at all except killing Erwin, and to hell with the consequences.  Again, this is so wildly out of character for Levi, that I could hardly believe it while I was reading it.  To make matters worse, when Furlan tries arguing with him and tries to convince him to stay, the writing directly contradicts its earlier statement that Levi didn’t consider Furlan and Isabel to be his subordinates by having him snap back at Furlan that he’s (meaning Levi) the one who decides, almost rubbing his higher rank in their social interactions in Furlan’s face, before just riding off without another thought.  It’s just awful characterization.  And, as I said, completely severs any relation of Levi’s actions here to the philosophy he later develops and adheres to so strongly in the main series, indeed, the philosophy that he lives by and which governs his actions, the philosophy that serves as his character motif.  It turns it into a decision made purely through emotion, a purely selfish and thoughtless act taken, and indeed, the only lesson Levi would be able to take from that sort of impulsive decision making would be that he should put more thought into his actions in the future, because if he does that, then this sort of thing won’t happen again.

But that’s not the lesson Levi learns, and that’s not the foundation of his philosophy.

Levi’s entire philosophy revolves around him understanding and accepting that he can never know the outcome of any given choice he makes until after the fact, no matter how much effort and thought he puts into trying to make the right one, and finding a kind of freedom in relinquishing that control.  It is absolutely vital, then, in order for Levi’s choice in “No Regrets” to mean anything, and for it to in any way relate to the philosophy which governs him later, for it to have been a well thought out and deeply considered choice, and that’s exactly what it’s presented as in the manga.

Now I want to break his choice down here panel by panel to get into why.

First of all, the first key difference between the manga and visual novel, is here in the manga, Furlan is the one who first points out that the situation for them is bad, because in this weather, it’s likely Erwin will get eaten by a Titan, and if that happens, they won’t be able to get the papers they’ve been after this whole time.  Levi isn’t shown even THINKING about any of that up to this point.  He’s only shown concern for Furlan and Isabel, wanting to make sure they stay together, and sticking himself by their sides.  Furlan goes on to say here that in order to take the papers, they’re going to have to head to the center of the formation.  Furlan’s the one who brings the entire subject of Erwin and the documents up here, not Levi, and this is a huge and important difference.  

They hear Flagon fire the sound grenade, and realize he and Sairam aren’t far off.  Furlan says they might be able to join them somehow, but then he hesitates, and says “but… Levi.”

Furlan is looking to Levi here and asking him to make a decision for their group.  Do they go off together and try to get to Erwin before he gets eaten by a Titan and they lose their final opportunity to get the documents they need, or do they go and join Flagon.  Furlan puts the responsibility onto Levi’s shoulders here.

Now here’s where things get really complex, and we see how truly nuanced, considered, and thought out Levi’s choice really was, and ultimately, then, why it turning out to be the wrong choice is so deeply tragic.

Furlan and Isabel both are looking at Levi, waiting for him to choose, and we get to see Levi’s internal thoughts.

The first thing he thinks in this situation is to weigh the worth of the lives of his squad and his friends against his own, and this is so exactly like Levi, and once more shows infinitely better characterization of him than what was done in the visual novel. Levi thinks here “If the three of us go, the team we leave behind will be shorthanded.”  This is literally Levi showing private concern for the lives of Flagon and Sairam, knowing that if he takes Isabel and Furlan with him, those two’s chances of survival out in this weather diminish drastically.  He then thinks “If I go alone, there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to find them again.” He’s considering his own chances of survival here, if he strikes out on his own.  He knows that if he does, his own chances of getting killed increase. So here we see Levi struggling with whether to prioritize the lives of his squad, or himself.  Ultimately, he decides to prioritize the lives of his squad. And I’ll get more into that in a moment.

But Levi continues to struggle.  He tells himself “Which is it?  Pick one.”, as the storm worsens around him.  He’s agonizing over it.  And then he closes his eyes, and he thinks of Isabel, remembers her saluting Flagon from the night before, and the understanding for the SC’s cause that she expressed, and how he himself understood it, and her sympathy, even her empathy with how they felt, saying she didn’t want to get in their way, meaning she didn’t want to compromise their mission.  Levi himself has been developing an attachment to these soldiers, and an admiration and understanding of their dedication, seeing how like his own desire to fight for and protect the lives of others it is.  To leave Flagon and Sairam to their fate and unprotected, then, would be both a betrayal to Isabel’s feelings and wishes, and his own. Levi doesn’t want to be the cause of Flagon’s and Saiyam’s deaths by taking Isabel and Furlan with him and leaving them by themselves.  Also, in remembering the way Isabel saluted Flagon and her enthusiasm for the SC’s dedication, Levi must also have realized, if he took Isabel with him to steal from and kill Erwin, it would destroy any future chance she might have of ever joining the SC again, if that was something she wanted.  To take her with him would implicate her in his crimes and rob her of that possible future.

Levi then thinks of Furlan and Isabel in the Underground, looking at him, and Furlan explaining to him his plans, his hopes and dreams of using this new found opportunity to make it to the world above and make for themselves better lives.  He’s remembering Furlan, and Furlan’s reliance on him to make that dream come true.  Remember how Furlan told Levi “With you here, we’ll really be able to raise hell.”. His plan always hinged on having Levi’s strength and ability in order to succeed.  Levi knows, then, if he chooses to not go after Erwin then and there, and get the documents from him, Furlan’s dreams will be dashed, and Levi will have failed to help make them come true.  And Levi has gone along with Furlan’s plans up to this point, against his own, better judgment, specifically because he wanted to help realize Furlan’s dream, to make it a reality.  To abandon it now, after all of that, must have seemed unacceptable to Levi.

And then Levi remembers Erwin, standing over him in the Underground, superior and smug, callous and uncaring for how he’s disrupted and threatened the lives of Levi and his friends. He remembers his anger at Erwin, his feeling of humiliation and rage.

And it’s this memory, finally, after all the others, after considering the lives of Flagon and Sairam, after considering Isabel’s wishes, and Furlan’s dream, that tips the scale for Levi in deciding that he has to go alone after Erwin.  It’s the weight of all those factors, the fear of letting Flagon and Sairam die, the fear of letting Furlan and Isabel down, on top of Levi’s own pain and anger, that decides it for him.  If he doesn’t go after Erwin alone, if he takes Furlan and Isabel with him, Flagon and Sairam will probably die, and both Furlan and Isabel will be implicated in the crime of theft and murder.  If he stays with Isabel and Furlan to join up with Flagon and Sairam, then Furlan’s and Isabel’s dreams likely go out the window.

This is no snap decision on Levi’s part.  It’s a deeply considered, thought out and in many ways selfless choice he makes.  And, again, that’s really what makes it so horribly tragic.  Levi was really TRYING to do the right thing here, was genuinely acting in a way he thought was for the best, for all parties involved.  He gave just as much, really MORE consideration to Furlan and Isabel and Flagon and Sairam than he did to himself.  It was the combined weight of the interests of all the other people involved that pushes Levi towards the choice he makes, and his desire for vengeance on Erwin is just the final straw which tips the scale in that direction, not the one and only deciding factor.  It is, from all angles of consideration, the best choice to make.  

So Levi tells them he’s going alone, and tells Furlan and Isabel to join up with Flagon.  He says he’ll get the documents, that’s the FIRST thing he’s going to do.  Not kill Erwin.  It’s the documents Levi is prioritizing here.  And since he’s going after Erwin to get the documents anyway, he’ll also, he says, be the one to kill him.  In Levi’s view, he’s being presented with a chance here to succeed in all their goals. In Levi’s view, this must be a win/win situation if he can find Erwin and do what needs to be done.

Furlan starts to protest, before Isabel cuts him off and says she’s going with Levi too, and Levi asks her, if she comes with him, who does she think is more likely to die, just him, or Flagon and Sairam.  He’s reminding her here of her desire to not get in the way of the SC soldiers, of her sympathy and empathy towards them, and is imploring her to realize that going with him will leave Flagon and Sairam vulnerable.  He’s telling Isabel that he can take care of himself, more than those two can.  He says, specifically, If the four of you stay together, it’ll raise their chances of survival.”.  He knows it’s dangerous to strike out on his own in this kind of weather, but he knows it increases his squad’s chances of survival if he does.  Levi makes the decision here to place the lives of Flagon and Sairam over his own, and to support Isabel’s own feelings in the process.

And then Furlan begins to protest again, telling Levi to keep his cool and think, trying to explain that if he just waits a little while, the fog might clear up.  He’s clearly afraid that if Levi goes out there on his own, he’ll get killed.

Levi asks Furlan then if he’s saying the Titans will wait until then, reminding Furlan that each moment they fail to act and go after Erwin, is another moment in which Erwin could get eaten, and risks Furlan’s dream being destroyed.

Furlan continues to protest, trying to impress on Levi how dangerous it is, to act alone, and Levi shouts back that he heard Furlan already, before insisting that he can do this by himself.  And then he screams at Furlan “Trust me!!”.  He’s putting the same request on Furlan that Furlan before put on Levi, asking for his trust, asking for his belief.  Furlan may be ready to give up on his dream for the sake of Levi’s safety, but Levi isn’t ready to give up on Furlan’s dream for the same.

They glare at each other, and then Furlan asks “Is that an order, Levi?”, and Levi’s reaction to that question speaks volumes.

He looks shocked at it, his expression one of clear surprise and confusion.

He then asks “An order…?” like he doesn’t understand why Furlan would even ask something like that, before saying “Why does it have to come to that?  I’m just… The two of you…”

This is in such sharp contrast to the way they had Levi acting in the visual novel and is, once more, infinitely superior.  

It shows so plainly that Levi doesn’t want to be considered Furlan’s and Isabel’s leader, he doesn’t want to be treated as their leader.  He only wants to be their friend, and for them to see him as their friend, and as someone they can depend and rely upon to always care about them and their dreams, as someone who will always fight for them and their dreams. He says “The two of you…” before trailing off, like he doesn’t know how to express any of that.  But that’s what Levi is trying to say, he just doesn’t know how, as usual.  He’s bad at expressing himself.  He’s trying to tell Furlan that he’s going after Erwin because he’s trying to still make their dreams come true, he’s trying to support them and protect them and ensure that this entire situation they’ve gotten themselves into isn’t in vain. Levi’s expression as he looks back at Furlan here is heartbreakingly earnest.  He looks open and vulnerable, as if imploring Furlan to understand.

And Furlan looks back, and finally realizes what Levi is trying to tell him.  And when he realizes it, he smiles, and laughs.  Because he realizes Levi is doing this for him, and for Isabel, and for Flagon and Sairam, even.  He realizes Levi truly means well here, and has made the choice he has after deep thought and consideration.  That this isn’t an impulsive or hotheaded choice, that he IS thinking clearly.  Levi is confused by his reaction, and Furlan keeps laughing along with Isabel, before telling Levi “Fine.  I’ll trust you.”, giving Levi the same regard Levi before showed him before, in agreeing to follow Furlan’s plan.  Furlan chooses to trust in Levi’s decision making, chooses to trust in Levi’s own plan now.  And then he tells Levi not to die, and Isabel tells him to make sure he comes back. They’re scared for him, but they’re choosing to trust him.

We get a significant panel then, as Furlan and Isabel fall back from him, and Levi looks back at them, as if still uncertain in his choice, despite all the thought he put into it. He’s still filled with self-doubt, even as Furlan had just moments before expressed belief in him.  Like he thinks there’s something he must be missing, even though he’s sure he thought out every possible scenario and reason for choosing as he did.

What’s important too, in understanding Levi’s choice, is that it never once occurs to him that Furlan and Isabel could die.  He thinks Flagon and Sairam potentially will, if they all leave them behind, and he thinks he himself might, if he strikes out on his own.  But he never thinks it a possibility that Furlan and Isabel could. He chooses then, in that moment, to also trust in the strength of his friends.  He shows absolute belief in Furlan’s and Isabel’s strength, to the point that he believes Flagon and Sairam need them, more than he does.  It isn’t even a thought Levi can entertain, that him choosing to leave will put Isabel and Furlan’s lives in danger.  With all the consideration he does, all the thought he puts into making the right choice, it simply isn’t conceivable to him, that his friends could die.  If he had thought that a possibility, if such a scenario had occurred to him, he never would have left.  He genuinely believed, if all four of them stuck together, they would be alright, even if he himself wasn’t.

A few others points of note in this chapter.

When Isabel and Furlan meet up with Flagon and Sairam again, and Sairam asks if Levi is dead, Isabel reacts violently, screaming “Of course he isn’t!!  Levi will come back.  Bet on it!”. This emphasizes, in a truly heartbreaking way, Isabel’s own faith in Levi, and her need to believe he’ll be alright. She insists that Levi will come back, and this builds off of Isabel’s continued refrain throughout the story of how Levi is “the strongest”, both below and above.  Levi is Isabel’s hero, and she clings to his perceived strength in this moment, needing to believe in it to comfort herself over his safety.

This runs parallel then to Levi coming upon the butchered squad from the first rank, and his horrified realization that there are at least four Titans that did this, and that they’re heading back the way Levi came from, meaning right for Isabel and Furlan and Flagon and Sairam.  He immediately turns around and tries in a frantic dash to make it back in time, thinking desperately to himself that there’s too many Titans, and they’ll be overwhelmed. And then he comes upon the sight of Sairam being eaten, and he cries out for Furlan and Isabel.  

Truly the most heartbreaking part about this entire scene is how Levi tries so desperately to make it to his friends in time, but how he just simply isn’t near enough too, and can only watch, then, as they die.  For Levi, who’s entire identity revolves around wanting to help others, to protect others, his own helplessness in this situation must be truly horrific for him. And especially, his own helplessness in watching the two people that mean the most in the world to him get eaten alive.

Another truly heartbreaking moment here is how Isabel decides, in Levi’s absence, that she’s going to take on his role as protector, and save everyone.  How Isabel’s admiration and hero worship of Levi is, indirectly, what gets her killed here.  She wants to be just like him, and in trying to be like him, she ends up dying.  All of this happens in front of Levi.  He has to watch Isabel die while trying to do the thing he’s made himself responsible for, which is protecting the lives of others. And the way she starts to call out for him, right before the Titan’s jaws close around her, is truly gut wrenching. Levi’s expression here is one of such utter horror and shock too, before it turns to sudden, murderous rage, and he tries once more to close the distance and make it in time, only to have to watch both Flagon, and then Furlan both get eaten too.

Levi thinks to himself, as Furlan’s being lifted to the Titan’s mouth “I’m going to end up letting everyone die.”  Before screaming out Furlan’s name.  Levi is already blaming himself, already feeling the abject weight of his failure. This is the moment when he realizes his choice was the wrong one.

Furlan, in one of the saddest moments of all, finally sees Levi and, as if to say ‘it’s okay.  This isn’t your fault’, waves to him in acknowledgment.

Maybe most cruel of all is how Levi, even in the face of his overwhelming fear and horror and self-hatred, clings desperately to hope, still trying with everything he has to make it in time to save at least one of his friends.  He thinks to himself “Come on, make it in time!!”, and only to make it more tragic still, he almost DOES make it in time, just barely a moment too late as he slices off the hand of the Titan that had been holding Furlan.  Levi misses saving Furlan’s life by mere moments. It’s truly the definition of tragic, and beyond traumatizing.  

9. Chapter 8: Choices

Alright, and now I’ve reached the final chapter of “No Regrets”, so let’s just dive right in!

There really is so much more to unpack from this story than I think people realize.

Firstly, just a few, truly devastating observations I want to talk about.

The first one being how, even after Furlan gets swallowed by the Titan, Levi still believes he can save him. The fact that he cuts the Titan open from the chest down to his sternum, and free’s Furlan’s arm, and the panels which show Levi reaching out for his hand and ripping him from the Titan’s stomach is just… so heartbreaking.  The way too that he gently carry’s him back to the ground and lays him out, only to discover that his entire lower half is gone, and he’s dead, just the level of trauma you know this must be causing Levi is immense, and beyond tragic.  This is one of only two, true friends in his life, and he’s so desperate to have been able to save him, that he clings on to the possibility to the bitter end, until he’s forced to face the bleak reality. Levi’s devastation is really brilliantly depicted in how he wobbles, as if his knees are weak, when he stands back up.

And then of course comes Levi’s rage, and how he takes it out on the Titans, expressing his grief and pain in the only way he knows how, through violence.  

But maybe the most heartbreaking moment here comes once he’s through killing every Titan there, and he starts to stumble away, and his foot comes into contact with Isabel’s severed head. This is, once more, another area in which the manga improved hugely over the visual novel.  

Levi’s reaction here is just… the most heartbreaking thing ever.  The way he stares when he realizes he’s looking at Isabel’s head, and then falls to his knees, his overwhelming grief here is just so beautifully depicted in these panels, as he reaches out a hand to cover her eyes, and then slides them closed, in an attempt to give her some sort of dignity in death.  The way he can’t even look at her, just doubled over in his grief, just killed me to see.  It’s so unspeakably sad, and conveys to us readers the true depth of Levi’s despair, I think.

And then we move on from this horrific grief, to the climactic moment of the story, when Levi and Erwin again come together, and we see Levi’s overwhelming rage.  Again, this entire scene was a massive improvement over the visual novel.  Well, for starters, in the visual novel, they had Levi cut Erwin’s horse down to bring him to the ground, and again, that’s just so out of character.  Luckily, they fixed that here too, with Levi simply leaping up and dragging Erwin off his horse.

These panels really are amazing too is showing Levi’s intense rage, as he warns Mike to back the hell off, and brings his blade to Erwin’s neck.

What’s really interesting here is what Levi says.  

After the struggle of the choice he made, before Furlan and Isabel were killed, after giving so much consideration and choosing based largely on their own dreams and wishes, Levi tells Erwin here “I’m going to kill you, you bastard.  That’s why I’m here.”.  And Erwin responds, after studying Levi a moment, “So they… all died? I see.”.  Erwin gleans here, both from Levi’s words and expression, that his friends have died, and what he says indicates that he knows the only reason Levi hasn’t tried to kill him before now is because Furlan’s and Isabel’s own well being and their own dreams were the only thing holding Levi back.  Levi made no attempt on Erwin’s life before because he was placing Furlan’s and Isabel’s wishes above his own, but now that they’re gone, there’s nothing to keep Levi from acting out his revenge.  

This is also where we get Erwin’s full reveal of just how in control of this entire situation he’s been this whole time, and how he manipulated every player and outcome to his desires.

This really isn’t something I see get discussed a whole lot when talking about Levi’s relationship with Erwin, and how it started out.  But, unquestionably, Erwin used Levi and his friends against their consent, to achieve his own ends.  He set the whole thing up, from first spreading rumors about having some sort of evidence against Lovof’s embezzlement, to then spreading the information that he was looking to recruit Levi and his friends from the Underground, thereby giving Lovof the very idea of going to them to obtain his own proof of the evidence’s existence, while simultaneously leading Erwin to the definitive proof he sought by following the messenger Lovof sent and intercepting him.  At the same time, giving Erwin a means of throwing Lovof off by using Levi, Furlan and Isabel for cover.  It really is incredibly impressive, but also heartbreaking, the way Erwin used Levi and his friends to his own ends, but of course, perfectly in character for Erwin too, willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals. It begs certain questions though about the equality between Erwin and Levi, at least at the start of their relationship.  Erwin clearly had the control and power in this situation, and though clearly he never meant for Furlan and Isabel to die, still, his decision to rope Levi and them into his plans to catch Lovof and also to gain their strength and skill for the SC, did lead indirectly to their deaths.  Surely, if Erwin had never meddled in their lives, and used them as tools, they would have all still been alive in the Underground.  

But of course, this leads into a really interesting clash, then, between Levi and Erwin, and where we see Erwin win Levi over to his cause.  This is, as is becoming a redundant theme of my analysis here, a giant improvement over the visual novel.  There, it makes it seems as if Levi decides to follow Erwin only because Erwin has something Levi lacks, and until he can figure out what that something is, he won’t be able to “defeat him”, implying that Levi is still somehow obsessed with beating Erwin in some way.  Like he isn’t joining Erwin to fight for his dream of a better world, but because he wants to figure out what Erwin has that he doesn’t, so he can become superior, or whatever.  But here, in the manga, Levi’s reasons for deciding to follow Erwin are much more complex, and tied in with his own personal drive of wanting to help and save others, and into his relationship with Furlan and Isabel.  

Levi tells him “It wasn’t worth throwing away their lives!  They were nothing but pawns in your worthless game.  Well, you lose.”, right before he means to take Erwin’s head off.

What’s interesting here is Erwin’s response.  He doesn’t try to deny to Levi that he used Furlan and Isabel and Levi himself as pawns. He doesn’t argue, or try to defend himself on that front.  What he takes issue with is Levi calling the reasons for it a “worthless game”.

Erwin’s entire speech to Levi here really builds off of the feelings Levi had already started to develop, about feeling like he had maybe found a place to belong, where he could maximize the good he could do.  This wasn’t yet a fully formed idea in Levi’s head, up to this point, but the seeds of it had started to form.

Erwin asks Levi who’s responsible for killing his friends.  He asks if it was him, if it was Levi, and then he asks if he really thought that if they had come together to attack Erwin, that they would have made it out alive.  

This is what Levi is beating himself up over, of course.  The belief that he made the wrong decision, in leaving Furlan and Isabel behind, thinking to himself if they hadn’t split up, they would still be alive.  He blames himself for how he came to that decision, and starts to say as much to Erwin here, saying it was his conceit and his pride that was to blame, no doubt thinking of how it was his memory of Erwin and the humiliation he caused Levi that was the final tipping point which decided him in favor of going after Erwin himself, and also how he simply convinced himself that he would be able to shoulder all of the responsibility himself in such a dire situation, remembering how he told Furlan “I can do it by myself!” so insistently, asking him to trust him, to trust essentially in Levi’s strength.  To Levi, in this moment, his own strength must have seemed worthless suddenly, his belief in it leading to nothing but abject failure.   But then Erwin cuts him off and says, emphatically that, no, it was the Titans who killed them, before beginning to talk about how little they know about the Titans, and how if they continue to remain ignorant like that, they’ll never win against them.  He tells Levi to look around himself, and points out how, for as far as the eye can see, there are no walls, and then suggests that, in all that open space, there might be something they can find to free humanity from its despair and imprisonment.  And then he reminds Levi that there are people who want to stop this from this from happening, only concerned with their own profits and losses, content to stay where danger can’t reach them.  He shows sympathy, saying it’s understandable why they feel that way, because they’ve been blinded by the walls for a hundred years, and can’t see past their own survival.

And then he asks Levi if his eyes have remained clouded too.  He’s asking Levi here if he only knows how to live for himself, and if he’ll kill him and return to the Underground to continue to do so, after losing the two people he cared most about in this world.

But of course, Levi’s already learned how to live for people other than himself.  That was his whole reason for coming to the Surface in the first place.  In support and dedication to the hopes and dreams of his friends.  Levi’s eyes HAVEN’T been clouded, he’s already discovered and embraced what it means to give your life for others, already able to see past his own benefit.  

Erwin reminds Levi of that here, and tells him they won’t give up on going outside the walls, before asking Levi to fight with the Survey Corps, telling him “Humanity needs your skill!!”.  He reminds Levi, even after the loss of the two people whom he had been living for up to that point, that he can continue to live for others still, that he can still fight for the hopes and dreams of others, and that he doesn’t have to return to the life of isolation and loneliness and futility that he once lived, that he doesn’t have to return to simply surviving, or fighting only to survive. He’s reminding Levi that his life can mean more than that, just like he realized when he became friends with Isabel and Furlan.  That his life can have purpose, and that, if he lends his strength to the SC, he can do more even than help a few people.  He can, in fact, help all of humanity.  

The following panels show Levi coming to this realization.  He remembers Furlan and Isabel at his sides as they rode out into the open for the first time, into the first, true sense of freedom they had ever known, and their shared awe and wonder at the sight.  And Levi is realizing here, just as he had fought for his friends dreams of freedom, and of a better, more hopeful life, he can continue to fight for the same, only for everybody, for all people.  He can make the most of his abilities, and help the most people, by staying in the SC and fighting at Erwin’s side, fighting for Erwin’s vision of something beyond the walls, of a kind of salvation for humanity.

What Erwin gives Levi here, really, the thing Erwin gives Levi that he before lacked, is a sense of hope. A belief in his own ability to make a meaningful, positive impact on the lives of others.  It’s like Erwin’s own belief in that hope for humanity’s salvation is so strong, that Levi finds himself able to believe in it too, and he decides then and there that, for the sake of that hope, for the sake of the vision of something better, Levi will stay by Erwin’s side.  Because it’s what Levi’s always wanted to do, to fight for the hopes and dreams of others, to fight to make the lives of other people better, and Erwin has shown him the way to do so.  He shows Levi that Furlan and Isabel didn’t die for a “worthless game”, but for the sake of all human kind, and that’s why Levi is able to let go of his anger towards Erwin and follow him.  And that really feeds into Levi’s need, later on, for every soldier’s death to carry meaning.  If he can believe Furlan and Isabel died for a truly important reason, he can accept it and cope with his grief.  Like Isabel expressed herself before, these people genuinely believe their cause is worth dying for, and Erwin reminds Levi of this again.  

So he forgets his anger and pain, and chooses instead to follow Erwin, and dedicate himself to the cause of humanity’s salvation.  

The final panels of the manga are incredibly moving, with Levi slowing down behind Erwin and Mike, and glancing back one last time to where he lost his two, best friends, before looking away and riding on, as the sun shines through the clouds.  Like one, final acknowledgment of their lives together, and the sacrifice they made, before committing himself fully to his new life ahead.

10. Prologue

Just a small note on the prologue.  It opens up with Furlan and Isabel and Levi sitting beneath the only, real source of sunlight in the Underground, watching the birds in the sky.  Isabel wonders where they’re going, and Furlan answers “Far away... They can fly even beyond the walls.  To Places we couldn’t go eve with those machines.”  Isabel smiles, and says “Got that right!  Just you wait!  I’ll go with you someday.”, while Levi looks up into the sky, silent.  This is only further proof of how Furlan and Isabel both expressed their dream of someday making it on the surface, of achieving freedom from the prison of the Underground, and how Levi would sit and listen to them say things like this.  We see shots of just how grim and harsh the Underground really is here, with people lying passed out and sick in the streets, the pervasive, overwhelming darkness, and just overall depressing atmosphere.  It’s the kind of place that, clearly, robs people of their will to live.  Of any kind of hope.   It’s important to note that Levi himself never expresses any such dream, or desire.  He never voices that he wants to make it to the surface.  This is Furlan’s and Isabel’s dream, their hope, and Levi hears it from them seemingly often.  Probably, because of how hard his life has been, Levi’s never even considered it a real possibility, and so never even entertained the idea of it becoming real.  But for Furlan and Isabel, he was willing to try.  He went to the surface for them, to try and make their dream a reality.  

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #No Regrets #acwnr #a choice with no regrets #Levi Ackerman #Furlan Church #Isabel Magnolia #Erwin Smith #snk analysis #meta #thoughts

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

#sannin week 2021 #orochimaru #tsunade #jiraiya #sannin #naruto #naruto headcanons

[tiredspacedragon]

I saw that in one of your bionicle posts you had a "laundry list of reasons you wish Nidhiki survived" and as someone who has that spider backstabber as one of my favorites in Bionicle I'm really curious about those laundry reasons.

Oh Nidhiki, what a bastard you were. What a treacherous, beautiful tragedy. Let it be known why you should have lived.

**Warning: Long Post Ahead**

Reason 1: Okay, if I remember correctly, the post where I made the laundry list comment was my Bionicle ships post, so I'll get that out of the way first. Nidhiki and Lariska, man. It's just such quality heartache and I wish we'd gotten more of it.

Reason 2: I do not believe for a second that Nidhiki did not care about his fellow Toa Mangai. If he was truly ambivalent, he wouldn't have been trying to justify his betrayal to himself for so long afterward. So I doubt he was fully on-board with Teridax's plan to murder them all, if he was even aware of it. Even when sent after Lhikan, Nidhiki never tried to kill him, only to capture him. Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but I don't think Nidhiki wanted Lhikan dead, I think he still cared, even if he would never admit it, even to himself. And I think that seeing Teridax murder Lhikan right in front of him would have sent Nidhiki over the edge, and he would have turned on his employer and aided the Toa Metru. Perhaps only briefly before running away, but even so, in that moment he would have been a Dark Hunter no more.

Reason 3: Imagine Nidhiki still alive when the Visorak Horde, and Roodaka with them, arrived in Metru Nui. Is that the sound of a quest for revenge I hear?

Reason 4: Nidhiki would have probably stayed with the Rahaga after the Horde's defeat. Pursuing Roodaka would be stupid, going back to the Dark Hunters would be even more stupid, and the Rahaga would accept him regardless of his appearance, so long as he didn't get too backstabby. Nidhiki would be forced into having friends and that would be golden.

Reason 5: If Nidhiki stuck with the Rahaga, he likely would have been cured alongside them when Roodaka was finally captured. Toa Nidhiki lives again!

Reason 6: And knowing Nidhiki he would immediately abandon the Hagah because he has options again and he would see the war with the Brotherhood as nothing short of suicide. And then he would very quickly be forced to come back and fight alongside them when it becomes clear that this war spans the entire universe. Better to fight and probably die than to not fight and definitely die.

Reason 7: I just want to see Nidhiki's reaction to Jaller, and to a lesser extent, Tahu. Tahu is basically Lhikan 2.0. Fire Toa? Check. Leader? Check. Hau? Check. Dual swords that can be a board? Check. Nidhiki would be SO annoyed, and at the same time, he'd follow Tahu anywhere precisely because Tahu would remind him of Lhikan. And then there would be Jaller, who's arguably even more like Lhikan, up to actually wearing Lhikan's old mask. I can see Nidhiki simultaneously hating Jaller's guts, especially after he becomes a Toa himself, and being extremely protective of him. Not out of any great fondness for Jaller, but solely because Nidhiki would not be able to take seeing "Lhikan" die a second time. And he'd hate it. He'd be pulling Jaller and the other Mahri's asses out of the fire and he'd be grumbling the entire time.

Reason 8: Nidhiki would have made a perfect Order of Mata Nui agent. Sure, Toa aren't usually allowed to join, but Krakua shows that rule can be broken when needed, and Nidhiki would have been such a good fit. He's already a sneaky bastard, and a skilled thief on top of that, and his bendy morals would make more lethal missions no trouble at all for him.

Reason 9: Tuyet. Seeing Tuyet again would send Nidhiki flying into a rage of true literary proportions. He's been through so much. His body has been mutilated, nearly everyone he's ever cared about is dead, and he's only just started to get back on his feet, but this bitch is still here? Out of everyone, this wretch is the one who has survived? The two traitors, the last Toa Mangai.

TL;DR: I wish Nidhiki had survived Legends of Metru Nui because if he had, he would have been forced onto the path of redemption. He would have tried his damnedest to resist, to remain the backstabbing bastard he was, but the universe would have conspired to deny him that at every turn. Nidhiki was, at his heart, a pragmatist, always choosing the course of action that he thought would benefit him the most, and in the wake of the Great Cataclysm, the best thing for him would have been to remain on the side of the heroes, which would have been hilarious because he would have despised every minute of it, especially when all the morality eventually started to rub off on him. It would have been the perfect case of the "How dare you infect me with morals" redemption style, and it would have been glorious.

I blame bioniclechicken33's Ragnarok comic for all of this. Nidhiki and MCU Loki will forever be the same character in my head.

#bionicle #nidhiki #lhikan #toa #toa mangai #lariska #bastard child

[wondersofdreaming]

Something Brewing

Characters: Henry Cavill x female reader

Word count: 1.243

Warnings: Alcohol consumption. Wet clothes. Brewing beer. Overall fluff and overload of cuteness.

Author’s note: I have been brewing a few beers during lockdown, so why not write a little something of the sort.

A big thanks goes to the angel from the heavens, @radaofrivia​, the story wouldn’t have been this good without you <3 Go read her stories here

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

I do not own any characters in this short story, except the reader who is a figment of my imagination.

MASTERLIST

Feedback is appreciated.

(GIF Credit to @henrycavilledits​ - find the post here)

A strong scent of warm grain was spreading through the rented house. Luckily the house was out in the English countryside, far away from the bustling city of London.

“You’re sure it has to be at 65C for over an hour, my love?” Henry asked, his face scrunching in utter concentration as he stirred the porridge looking thing in the pot.

“65 minutes to be exact,” you told him, “Keep stirring, darling. We don’t want the grains to burn at the bottom.”

“Yes madam,” he smiled, the one that made your knees weak and your heart race. You giggled at him and went to kiss his scruffy cheek. Your lips lingered a bit longer than usual, as you wanted to keep inhaling the scent that was uniquely Henry, a scent you had become addicted to ever since you started dating.

Kal was fast asleep on his doggy bed by the door. His ears were down and he was sleeping on his back with his paws in the air. That was his way of saying that he was 100% comfortable and relaxed.

The quarantine had lasted for over a month already, and you had already made a sourdough starter, baked loaves of bread, Julia Child’s cookbook and cooked all the recipes, played all the board games you had brought with you at least four times, and you had even talked Henry into playing God of War on your Playstation 4, which had taken a lot of energy, but you had continued to play the game in his presence and shown him why you loved the game. Then one day you came across a youtube video of people brewing beer at home. A week later you had received all the necessary ingredients and equipment to brew your very own beer.

“We should save a few bottles for Jason,” Henry commented, while you read the instructions once more.

“Of course, my love. To repay him for sending you 100 bottles of the beer he made with Guinness, and while you’re at it, throw in a dozen of No. 1 Rosemary water as well.”

You thought back to the day a delivery man had rung the doorbell and needed a signature for the boxes. You had thought that Henry had finally ordered the parts for the computer he wanted to build, so you didn’t open them. The delivery guy unloaded them in your kitchen after you signed the papers. Then you had waited for Henry to come home. The look on his face had been of amusement. He had laughed without pause for 10 whole minutes before he face-timed his Guinness-loving friend, to thank him for the gift and have a long chat.

The relaxed look Henry had sported after the talk with Jason was something he only showed to his closest friends and you. Whenever you visited him at work or standing backstage at an interview, he would give off an aura of concentration. He would be in work-mode. It was like a switch he could turn on and off whenever he walked out the front door. Only in the four walls of your home, he would be completely himself. The dork, the nerd, and the passionate man you knew and loved.

The timer went off, jolting you out of your trip down memory lane, and you started to pour the grain mixture into a colander on to of another pot to separate the grains from the liquid. You added 78C water until you had about 6,5 litres of grain-brew, then you brought it up to a boil, before adding the first set of hops.

Henry sniffed the hops before you dumped them into the hot liquid.

“What now?” Henry looked into the pot that was slowly starting to smell of faintly of beer. 

“Now we let it be at boiling point for 45 minutes, then we add another kind of hops for flavouring.”

“How long before we can try the finished product?” He asked and wrapped his strong arms around your torso. His lips leaving peppering kisses on your neck and shoulder.

“From what Mark told me, we… we need to let it sit in the tank for a week… then pour it into another tank with a tap and let it ferment for another week be… before we have to bottle them with a little bit of sugar so… so the yeast can make carbon dioxide, which will take approximately two weeks and then they should be ready for drinking…” you tried to tell him. You couldn’t form a coherent sentence as his lips touched your ear, his large palms caressing your sides and he pulled you closer to him.

“That is almost a month of waiting,” Henry sighed, looking a bit disappointed by the fact he had to wait so long for a taste.

“All good things come to those who wait, puppet. But maybe we can find something to do while we wait for it to ferment,” you giggled.

A slow smirk formed on his lips. He knew exactly what you were talking about, and he was looking forward to when you gave him the green light.

A month passed and you were finally going to give your homebrew a taste. The bottles had been sitting in the garage where it was dark and cool.

Henry opened one and the liquid spewed all over the kitchen, making his white T-shirt soaking wet, and you didn’t know whether to help him or roll on the floor laughing. You opted for the second option.

“Bad idea, babe,” Henry whispered while he silently tiptoed towards you. You were holding your stomach, gasping for air while you kept laughing, not noticing your beloved coming closer.

It was too late for you to move away from him, to late to save yourself from the outpouring of the rest of the beer from the bottle.

“Henry!” you squealed. Your own shirt glued to you like a second skin.

“Revenge is sweet, not what I can say about this beer,” Henry smacked his lips together, tasting the beer.

You licked your lips tasting the lingering liquid there.

“I can’t taste much, we should open another one,” you said and walked over to grab another bottle. You half-opened the beer in the sink, and it overflowed from the edge. There was beer foam all over your hands and it was slowly going down the drain. When it stopped you took a swig and handed the bottle to Henry. You spit out the mouthful you had taken and tried rinsing the awful taste.

“Yuck, that was absolutely horrendous,” you said. Henry looked a little pale but he swallowed the beer.

“We should… eh, remove this foul-tasting thing and never talk about it again,” he said. Henry turned on his heels towards the bedroom to change.

After you both had taken a shower together, as Henry’s excuse was to save water, and thrown out the remaining bottles of home-brew, you sat in the living room with your computer.

Henry sat down next to you with two cans of real Guinness. He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing.

“What is that?”

“Our next project. We are going to make a Kal amigurumi doll.”

“You think my big hands can make something so nimble?” Henry asked perplexed, taking a look down at his impressively large hands.

“Darling, if you can paint Warhammer figurines, you can crochet your best friend.”

#Henry Cavill #This man #I need a drink #Fanfiction #My story #Something Brewing #Henry Cavill x reader #Henry Cavill x female reader #Henry x reader #Henry x female reader #henry cavill fanfic

[emeraldvagabond]

I just hate fey-/re when she destroyed Spring court because

1. She used Lucien who was also got sa

2. She created lies which clearly dismantle Spring's forces

3. Also, she gets upset when they still think Riceman is a r*pist and I'm like bitch? Riceman is doing it for his "mask" and now he's upset that he's misunderstood pls go fuck urself.

Bruh, she could've just tell tampon or ian the to go fuck off or poison them to death or give them headaches until they go crazy!

Does any part of my lists that I'm missing tho? Skskks and what is your opinion of tampon whipping a sentry?

1. Yep, hate her for that and I always will. I'll scream it from the rooftops I hate mf Feyre Archeron, and I think she's a great villainess.

2. Yesssss, all of the scenarios that showed Tamlin's """true leadership""" were concocted by either her, or Ianthe. Literally, there's not a single part in the fall of Spring that wasn't meticulously crafted by her. She even uses Ianthe to help further that.

3. SHE LITERALLY SAYS HE RAPED HER, AND IT'S BELIEVABLE BECAUSE HE SA'S HER FOR THREE CONSECUTIVE MONTHS JUST BECAUSE HE CAN. Like, it's not even because of all the other horrible things he does, that specific lie is believable just based on his past actions TOWARDS her. Anyway.

I really, really, really think she should have told him he was being played by Ianthe. If she had done that....the Spring Court literally could have returned to thriving. Because we see in the first book, Tamlin wants to do better, to be better, as a Highlord. He feels guilt about his court's past and he wants to make it right in any way he can, he's a good leader, he cares very deeply for the people of his court. Whether they were born there or come seeking refuge. Ianthe and Feyre feed on this and twist it so it fits their will.

Their will being power and revenge.

Also, I think whipping a sentry was entirely out of his character, but since it did happen....I think Feyre and Ianthe forced his hand. Ianthe made the whole thing up..and Feyre knew it. Ianthe, the person manipulating him, then does the thing Rhysand does to Feyre all the time and goes "these are your only two options, and obviously you've been too lenient, and now you've put your court in danger, so punishment is your only real option to show everyone that this is a Very Serious Crime."

And...again, Feyre knows that Ianthe has concocted this whole scenario. That she stole the keys, let the naga in, and put the guard to sleep...but does she share that with him? No, instead she goes to him in front of everyone, and tries to directly undermine him and Ianthe's word. She knows very well that alone is going to force his hand even further. Ianthe is already telling Tamlin that Feyre is undermining his authority, that the people of his court aren't safe because he is too kind. Feyre knows if she brings this argument up in front of everyone that he's going to have to make a move that Ianthe and "the goddess" stand behind, and that she's going to come out looking as if she had tried to be the voice of reason. And that's exactly why she does it.

So, I think he was wrong to do it because in the end that was his call to make and he...certainly called it exactly as he was told to, but I also think that Feyre and Ianthe are the ones who put everything in order to make that happen, and then he was spoon-fed this "this is your only option, don't you want to be a good leader" rhetoric. And we know that is one of the driving forces of his character..to be good, to do good, to protect his people and his court....unwittingly he has become their weapon, their main tool in his own downfall.

It's very sad. Because if Feyre had never come back it would have never happened. If Ianthe was not there, it would have never happened. Feyre protects Ianthe until she no longer serves her purpose. Which is disgusting, because she tries to act all righteous when she smashes Ianthe's hand and lures her to the weaver's cottage...like they weren't just working together, even though Ianthe didn't know it.

So, again, I thnk Tamlin throughout the whole series is a victim who is trapped in, and continues this cycle of abuse. And one of the main reasons for that is because Feyre and Ianthe destroy his support system and safe places, and refuse to show any voice of reason. So- I think it was fucked up that he whipped that Sentry, absolutely, I also think it was out of character and orchestrated by two people who both wanted to see Spring fall. Take that however you will.

#asks #tamlin #spring court #anti feyre #ianthe #Tamlin chose to do it-but also he was manipulated into that final decision are not mutually exclusive #this is a tamlin safe-space we use his name here #especially if we're using the names of other abusers and like...actual villains