#'why am i here?! why are you here?!!! you didn't say anything about this?!'

[changisworld]

“Why do you make me feel like this, pretty?”

fuckboy!hyunjin x reader

Word count; 5,902

Summary: After hyunjin took your virginity, you grew attached despite trying your hardest not to. You find out he hooked up with someone the day after it happened which broke your heart, making you cry.. but of course, hyunjin caught you crying. He didn’t really know what he felt, it being new to him, as he tries to refuse the silly ideas popping into his brain, he can’t ignore how much you being upset is making his heart.. hurt?? Surely he doesn’t like you too..?

18+ ONLY, MDNI, SMUT UNDER THE CUT.

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

part 1 here

**This can be read on its own despite it probably being confusing but i highly recommend reading part 1!**

SMUT WARNINGS: spit/drool, PIV, needy reader, pet names, shyish reader, rimming( f rec), oral ( f rec), fingering (f rec), finger sucking, unprotected sex, jealous jinnie, edging???,pull out method, literally 1 spank, slight dacryphilia, jealous jinnie, soft jinnie, kind jinnie, hyunjins a tease obvs, slight aftercare, wayyy fluffier ending than last time you're welcome!!

You & Hyunjin walk off campus, you still hiding your face from him, embarrassed at the tears now staining your cheeks, your face tinged red, you also don't fail to miss the looks you & Hyunjin are receiving from other students walking past the both of you, his arm still around you & you can't help but feel judged, so you push his arm off.

"Forget the cafe, I'm just gonna go home, I feel.. sick. I'll see you later Hyunjin." you murmur, still not looking at him in the eye.

"Y/n stop being weird, just cmon. I promise to cheer you up." He replies back, reaching out to cup your cheek but you move your head before murmuring a quick 'bye' before walking away from him hastily, leaving him standing there, confused & a bit annoyed.

He watches as you turn the corner & he huffs before kicking a stone nearby. 'Why do I care she's actually upset? 'What did I do wrong?' 'I hope she's okay' & 'Shit how can I apologise' are all thoughts that race through his head, no matter how much he tries to shake it all off, he genuinely feels guilty. But why? He never feels sorry for the girls he fucks n chucks, so what makes it different? He barely even knows you? He only spoke to you for a week which is barely anything. He sighs before pulling out his phone & going onto his contacts, about to call Joy, another one of his side things, before deciding against it, instead calling his friend Jisung& asking to meet him.

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Twenty minutes later Jisung meets him at the local dog walking park & they end up sitting on a bench, talking about random stuff before the topic of you comes up, but not because of Hyunjin.

“You’re lucky you got to partner up with y/n for that assignment, I got put with Changbin so obviously i fucking failed, tryna do that presentation on the spot was absolute torture, you still talk to her? she seems quiet as hell.” Han sighs, sipping his bubble tea through his straw & Hyunjin laughs.

“Ay! I actually helped her so shut up, just because you both have no more than eight brain cells, i’m just proof there is such a thing as looks & beauty. Nah, we haven’t really spoken since, just been busy i suppose & what the hell am i meant to say to her?” Hyunjin replies, a quick chuckle leaving his lips.

“What do you mean you’re proof that looks n beauty exist, y/n basically invented it you idiot. Wha'cha mean what are you meant to say to her? Did you fuck her too or something?" Han questions, leaning forward.

Hyunjin just kisses his teeth before nodding & Han just raises his eyebrows. "fuck, I didn't think someone like y/n would get around that way. Can you do me a favour n start speaking to her again n put in a good word about me I wanna approach her but she feels intimidating, you get me?" Once Hyunjin hears these words, a bad & gross feeling bubbles up in his stomach.. is what he feeling... jealousy?

"Uhh.. you're really not her type, she's not up for dating, she told me. Go try your luck with someone else." Hyunjin says in a bitter tone, not looking at the man in front of him & Han scoffs.

"You chat shit Hyunjin, stop gatekeeping! I'll just use my charms & trust me, we'll be fucking a week later n dating two weeks later." Jisung jokes, patting Hyunjins leg but he pushes it off.

"You're ridiculous Jisung, she won't want what's between your legs." Hyunjin spits out before standing up off the bench, stretching out & sighing. "I have things to do, you can keep day dreaming, I'll see you later. choke on your boba." Hyunjin jokes with Han & he spits out a bubble as a response before he walks away, leaving Han on the bench.

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He walks through the rest of the park, thinking about Hans words & he can't get over it. 'Why am I so jealous?' 'Who does he honestly think he is talking about y/n like that?' 'They wouldn't even look good together.' are things that keep racing through his head & he is getting more pissed off as the seconds go by.

He gets out of the park & he keeps walking on the pavement, not having an actual destination in mind.. until he seen you walking out of a random convenience store across the street & a lightbulb lights up behind his brown eyes.

He picks up the pace of his walk as he follows just far enough behind you on the other side of the road until you reach your apartment complex before entering & he can't help but feel like an absolute creep, but that doesn't stop him. He screenshots his location on find my Iphone, just so he won't forget where to go later on as he walks back the way he came, heading to the main line of shops near the campus.

He strolls around for around twenty minutes, looking at random little trinkets, bookmarks with the college logo on it, which he cringes at due to the look of it, before he keeps walking until he reaches a little florist shop.

He enters it, aimlessly walking around, fingertips grazing over a few roses & tulips, admiring the pretty colours as he sets his eyes on a bouquet of lillies. He picks it up, giving himself a better look at it before deciding he is happy with it, heading to the counter.

He places them down, not paying attention to the cashier as he looks at the little vases beside the register.

"Can I get this pink vase to- ohh, I didn't know you worked here Jennie, hiya." he says, surprised. "Sure. You know, Lisa doesn't like lillies, I suggest you get her daffodils, her favourite colour being yellow n all." she responds, smiling up at him. "Ah, they.. they're not for Lisa so I'll pass. Can you fill up the vase with a bit of water too? I think that's what you're supposed to do, right?" he says quickly, hand coming up to the back of his neck, the awkwardness filling the small space.

"mhmm. £29.11 is the total." She says in a cold voice, taking the tag off the vase as she turns around to the small sink, filling up the vase 1/3 of the way. She dumps the bouquet in the vase with no care at all before pushing it towards him, giving him the card machine. He pays, a strained, awkward smile on his face before saying thank you & leaving.

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After buying you a box of chocolates & a Vanilla bean smelling candle & following the path you walked on earlier, he ends up back outside your apartment complex.

He sits on the front steps, waiting for someone to leave the building so he can catch the door & once he is inside, he begins knocking on every door, talking to each person who answers in a quiet voice, Ignoring the confused looks of other students who recognise him who are all definitely wondering why he is knocking doors looking for you, making sure you wouldn't hear him & then refuse to open the door.

He reaches the fourth floor, mouth slightly dry from all the talking he has had to do & he is beginning to doubt his memory. He knocks on the third door & takes a step back, waiting for an answer as he hears footsteps & he can't help the smile that spreads across his face as you are the one who open the door.

"Surprise, & I'm not just talking about my pretty face. Can I come in?" he chirps as he raises his arms, making sure you see what he has brought despite it being almost all you can see, not missing the chance to give you an up & down look, you wearing black tight shorts & an oversized off the shoulder graphic shirt.

"Hyunjin, I told you I was sick.. How the hell do you know where I live?" you question, honestly just confused. "Does that matter? I asked a question, Don't leave me standing here I went to like twenty doors to find you!" he pouts. You roll your eyes & begin to shut the door but Hyunjin stops it with his foot.

"Okay okay okay! I followed you, but not in a creepy way I swear! I just wanted to.. apologise? But I knew you would ghost me If I text you." he says in a sulky voice. You groan before opening the door back open, his pretty face poking through the gap. "You are a creep, you know that? Why you apologising?" you question him, crossing your arms, not amused but slightly flattered despite not showing it.

"I'm not going to broadcast my deep, heart warming words in the corridor for everyone to hear, just let me inside, pleaseee." he pouts again & you just sigh before moving out of the way so he can enter, taking his shoes off as soon as they touch your laminate flooring.

You walk into your connected living room & kitchen before sitting on your corner kitchen counter, your legs swinging off it as Hyunjin follows behind you, looking around at the cute random decorations hung up on your walls & on the mantle pieces.

He places the flowers on your coffee table before walking back into your small kitchen & leaning on the opposite counter top, still holding the chocolates & candle.

"Okay, Can I give you my apology now? I rehearsed this to make sure I get everything right." He tries to joke but you just look at him with a blank expression before nodding, encouraging him to continue. "Okay, I didn't realise how much I've upset you & I'm sorry for not trying to check up on you sooner & stopped speaking to you. I partially didn't even mean to ghost you but I also genuinely thought you wouldn't speak to me anymore since you're always so concentrated on lessons & studying, I thought you would have thought I was getting in your way. I'm also sorry for fucking with that girl & you overheard it, if I'm genuinely being honest, I did it to try wipe my mind of you. I know what we did is a huge thing & it was wrong of me to have acted the way I did, if i'm being honest, this was the first time I did what we did so I just didn't really know how to act, but I'm genuinely sorry y/n. Chocolates?"

He blurts out, not taking his eyes off you as he feels his cheeks go hot, the nerves & also the way you're looking at him making him flustered. You both sit in silence for a minute, him waiting for a response & you thinking of a response.

"Gimme the box & light the candle for me, second drawer to your right n you will find a lighter. If you felt like this all week, You've still had seven days to come n tell me this but instead you've let me feel like shit for a week, this was the exact reason I was unsure to do it with you Hyunjin, in fear something like this would have happened & instead of just growing a pair & talking to me, you fuck someone else to just try forget?" You reply, your voice getting a bit shaky without meaning it, the feelings of it all hitting you again.

Hyunjin listens as he digs into his pocket & pulling out his own lighter & lighting it before putting it on the counter & he walks the few steps over to you, handing you the chocolate before standing right in front of you, leaning his hands on the counter on the outside of your legs, caging you in.

"Please y/n, don't think like that. I know I should have swallowed my pride n apologised earlier, I was just trying to convince myself I didn't give a fuck but I do, hence why I'm here. I honestly think you used those crystals & manifested this or something." he mumbles the last part, looking away from you, his ears going red after hearing his words out loud & your legs stop swinging as you pause at his words.

"What do you mean you actually give a fuck? What are you trying to say." you reply back, resisting the urge to reach out & stroke his hair. Hyunjin sighs & shakes his head. "Don't make me spit it out y/n, It's just gonna sound like a lie to you." You get an anxious feeling in your belly before taking his chin & guiding him to look back up at you. "Hyunjin, just say it, it's only me here anyway. Just say what you gotta say." you respond in a quiet but firm voice, honestly scared.

He doesn't have much option but to look at you as he lets himself melt into your hand lightly before taking a deep breath. "I.. care about you? I don't know, it feels weird but like... I genuinely felt like shit after how I treated you n i've tried to bury it but it just won't leave, I don't really know what it is about you n honestly it scares me." he says in a quiet, quick tone & your jaw drops.

You just freeze as you both just look at each other in complete silence not including the quiet crackling of the candle & your living room clock ticking. Hyunjin can't bare the awkwardness anymore as he gets shy for the first time in years, moving his arms to stand completely upright but you pull him in by the shirt to hug him, tears threatening to leave your eyes as his arms wrap around you in return.

"This better not be some sort of sick joke Hyunjin or i swear I'll kill you, you're gonna boost my ego to a fraction of what yours is." you half laugh as he nuzzles his face into your neck, inhaling your sweet smell. "It's not, dead serious. You're just different n I don't know how to feel about it, stop casting spells to make me attached to you. I've been itching to ask to see you all week, I wish I wasn't being so stubborn." he muffles into your neck, moving his head side to side slightly, his nose tickling your neck, making you lean more into him, chuckling at his stupid joke.

"Stop with the silly magic jokes, you're ridiculous. I want to say you're not forgiven since you need to prove to me you're not talking out your ass but I do accept your indeed heart warming apology & I appreciate it just more than the flowers n chocolate." you say in a soft voice & you feel Hyunjin smile against your neck before he moves & kisses the tip of your nose, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"That's what I wanted to hear, I wouldn't be able to handle it if you had told me to fuck off, my first ever rejection coming from the first person I've ever bought a present for that isn't my mom." You chuckle at this before hopping off the counter, grabbing the box of chocolates that were staring at you.

"Rejection? You tryna say you like meee?" you tease, taking his hands before swaying them back & forth & he rolls his eyes, chuckling. "Was it not kinda obvious? I wanted to say it without directly saying it in case I embarrassed myself but... yeahhh I have a tiny crush, I think you made us soul tied or something." you just 'tut' at his remark but your face goes bright red at his confession, cheeks hurting from how much you're smiling.

"I'm touched. Got thee famous playboy hwang Hyunjin to like like me, not sure if it's a surprise but I like you too." You kiss his cheek before leading him to the couch as you sit on it, him flopping next to you. "Enough of the soppy talk for now or I'll get embarrassed, you can choose a movie while I get us a blanket." He just nods & you hand him the box of chocolates & he begins opening them as you scurry to your room to get your favourite fluffy blankets.

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You both end up watching a recommended Netflix romcom suggestion, both of you devouring your chocolates but you pay no mind to it.

Some point throughout, your legs end up swung over his as your head lays against his shoulder, him stroking your hair with one hand as the other hand caresses your thigh.

Every few minutes or so, you focus less on the movie & more on his touch as his hand slowly rises up your leg, then your thigh & his hand is now grazing against your inner thigh over your tight shorts, giving you goosebumps, which he doesn't miss.

This continues up until Hyunjin repositions himself, pushing your legs off him so he can lay down over your thighs, his view now sideways of the TV, not that he cares, not paying the slightest bit of attention anyway as you momentarily tense up beneath him.

You continue stroking his hair, sometimes digging your fingers into his scalp a bit to scratch it, making him let out a satisfied hum. You can't help but keep looking down at the beautiful man laying on you & you can't help but smile to yourself.

As if he can feel your eyes burning into his skull, he moves the blanket down your legs enough to expose your legs enough for him to begin planting little pecks on them, slightly tickilish but you don't miss the wetness now pooling under your shorts. "Stop teasing Hyune." you speak up, your voice quiet & he just chuckles.

"If you don't want me to tease, I won't complain if you lay back." he replies, not bothering to look up at you as his hand reaches to squeeze your thigh softly as he keeps giving your legs kisses, suckling at them slightly,

You think about what he says & you would be stupid to deny the chance, your pussy clenching around nothing. You lightly push his head up off you & he takes the hint, moving & you push the side of his arm, towards the edge of the couch & he looks at you slightly confused but does what he thinks you're hinting at, getting onto the floor right in front of you, looking up at you with his pretty eyes.

You give him a shy smile before you take it upon yourself to wriggle your shorts & underwear off, leaving your bottom half completely nude, biting your lip in anticipation.

"You really got this desperate since last time I saw you?" he teases & you put your hand in front of your cunt, covering it with how shy you've just started feeling but he is quick to pull it back off, looking at the small shimmer on your middle finger before licking it off in one go.

"Don't be shy, gorgeous. I've been just as desperate if not more, can I get a taste?" he says in a sweet voice, not looking away from you, stars in his eyes. "Please.. If you want to." you respond, hiding your face in your hands but he reaches up & swats your hands away yet again as his other hand begins to slowly drag through your folds, making your hips buck.

"Stop hiding, where's your confidence gone hmm? Do I make you that nervous? trust me, there's nothing I want more." he leans in & kisses right next to your lip before smirking at you & sinking back down onto the floor, blowing cold air onto your now soaking cunt, making your legs tense up & he tongues his cheek as he watches your face twitch.

He spreads your folds open, getting a better view of your hole, clenching around nothing before he licks a long, slow strip from your hole to the top of your clit, letting out a low groan in the process. "Taste better than anything y/n, I fucking swear." he says as he looks up at you for a split second. "eyes on me, if you look away I'll stop." he voices before digging in.

You do as he says & make eye contact with him as his mouth latches onto your cunt as he begins letting spit roll off his tongue, mixing with your juices just before slurping it back up, not afraid to make as much noise as the mixes of juices allow.

You weave your hand in his hair & play with his hair & scratch his scalp for him as he suctions his tongue onto your swollen button, both of you groaning at the same time.

"Hyune, so good" you whimper out, your breath shaky as your eyes struggle to stay open & you feel Hyunjin smile against you. He brings his fingers up to your clit before rubbing it in a steady rhythm as he lets go of before his tongue find its way into your opening before beginning to tongue fuck you & you throw your head back, your moans now louder than the TV still playing behind the both of you, your legs now closing around his head, not that he pays attention to that anyway, if anything he is enjoying it.

You begin to clench around his tongue which he remembers is your tell tail sign you're about to orgasm, your moans getting higher pitched & your grip on his hair getting tighter & he chooses to worm his tongue out of your hole before pinching your clit between his two fingers & dropping a glob of spit to it before giving it one more lick, smirking.

"I wanna try something I think you might like, turn over so you're facing your back to me, hunny." You huff at the beginning of a future orgasm beginning to appear suddenly bubbling away but you do as he says, slightly confused.

You get up on your knees & rest your elbows on the back of the couch, you now looking at the wall behind you. "Why am I fac-" you're cut off as Hyunjin spreads your cheeks & begins fondling them as he begins suckling on your pussy from behind, letting out a satisfied hum behind you as you begin kneading the couch until your fingers begin to ache, biting your lip to try hold back moans.

"G-gonna cum Hyunjin, keep g-going." you whimper, pushing yourself into his face, seeking even more from him if it's even possible & he gives you a quick slap on your ass as he removes himself from your cunt again, much to his own displeasure.

"Don't bite your lip y/nnie, I wanna hear you fully, Mkay?" he speaks from behind you as you yelp at the impact & he hums as he keeps kneading your ass, giving it a few kisses. "Your ass is to die for, you know that? Gonna taste it." Before you can even process what he says, your mind too full of lust to understand, he is letting a glob of spit fall past his lips & it landing right on your tightest hole.

You try jerk your hips away from him but he is quicker & pulls you back to him, keeping a tighter grip on your ass, keeping it spread as his tongue begins to graze over your pretty pucker, his eyes scrunching together as he smiles against you, tongue now drawing patterns on it as he lets go of one of your ass cheeks, going down to your leaking cunt again before entering two fingers, instantly finding the same G-spot that made you orgasm only a week or so ago.

Your hips buck at the new sensation & you let out a long mewl, letting your face fall onto the back of the couch as your knuckles turn white from how hard you're clenching on it.

Your pretty hole is clenching & pulsating on his tongue as he lets out a deep growl at your taste, so different compared to your cunt but still enjoyable, you're moans getting to an even higher pitch as his tongue enter inside you, swirling around as much as the tight ring will allow.

"Hyun- please l-let me cum, s-so- fuck!" you basically scream out, not even being able to find the strength to lift your head up to look at the man behind you as your pussy & ass clench around his fingers & tongue but right before you cum, Hyunjin pulls completely away, again & your legs shake from the painful pleasure of yet another stolen orgasm.

Hyunjin leans over so his clothed chest is touching your back & he tilts your head so he can see your pretty face & he sees your now tear soaked cheeks & your pretty, glossy eyes.

"Awww, pretty girl couldn't contain their tears, could you? I promise you can cum now, I don't have a condom on me though beautiful so do you just want my fingers hmm? or my tongue?" he questions as he strokes your now damp hair out of your face, pouting at you.

"J-just fuck me Hyune, j-just pull out." you whiimper back to him, your breath so unstable it's difficult to even push the words out. Hyunjin opens his mouth to re ask you, just to make sure he is hearing things right but you wiggle your naked ass against him & he bucks his hips before just nodding before kissing your shoulder & then shimmying his pants & underwear down, freeing his pretty cock.

He spits onto his cock, pumping it into his hand a few times, letting out a hushed groan before he aligns his tip with your pussy, rubbing himself against it a few times to coat his tip in your juices before prodding his tip against your hole, before pushing just the tip inside.

"I'm still gonna be gentle, it's only your second time, tell me if this position is uncomfortable." he speaks behind you & as you mumble out an 'okay' while your face now being mushed against the cushion again, he pushes his hips forward very slowly until he buries himself to the hilt, you both letting out a moan in unison.

He stills inside you, trying to not cum instantly from how hot your walls feel without the restriction of the condom he wore last time, his hands coming to rest on your hips as he waits for your signal to continue.

Your breath staggers as he pushes forward, the stretch being a bit painful but no way near as painful as last time & after a minute or so, you push yourself on his cock experimentally, making you both hiss.

"You- please move, mak-make me cum Hyune, p-please." you elongate the last word, turning your head to the side so he can actually hear you. He takes a deep breath & pulls out half way before pushing back in, the both of you letting out a whine as his balls slap against your clit, making it even more intense for you.

Hyunjin sets a steady rhythm, lightly using the tips of his finger nails to add sensation to your back, tickling it but also feeling nice as you know it will leave those pretty little red marks later on. Both of your moans & whines fill the small apartment, not even thinking about how your neighbours can one hundred percent hear you.

"Y/n yo-you're too tight, s-so warm." he breathes out, lifting his leg & standing it on the couch for a better angle as he keeps rutting into you, leaning over your back again to kiss your cheek, your moans going straight into his ears.

"To- so big hy-hyune, pleas-e lemme c-cum." you whimper, your eyes scrunching closed, the ends of Hyunjins hair tickling your face as he begins to nibble on your earlobe, your cunt clenching impossibly tight around his cock, almost suffocating it.

"c-cum with me baby, h-hold on for me." he groan back as he tilts his neck into an uncomfortable position just so he can kiss your lips. His tongue instantly enters your mouth & you suckle on it, tasting the remaining taste of your juices from what he hasn't already repeatedly swallowed, making you moan in content.

Hyunjin speeds up his pace slightly & your G-spot loves this, making your legs almost give out on the spot as your brain turns into mush. "I-in my s-stomach Hyun-deep." you babble out against his lips, barely even knowing your own name at this point.

As Hyunjin stands back upright after giving your shoulder a few pecks, his phone begins to ring. Your eyes spot his phone on the other end of the couch, where he was sitting earlier but he reaches over & declines it before shutting his phone completely off, throwing it to the side, his pace not slowing once.

You don't bother questioning it, instead focusing on the noises of your slick & his balls connecting together mixed with the sweat of the both of you, sloppy clapping noises of your skin connecting filling the room, your legs begin to give out as Hyunjin worms his fingers down to your clit yet again before rubbing it frantically.

"In your s-stomach hmm? You can cum for me angel, n-not gonna last, too w-wet n tight." he squabbles, breathing frantically & this i all you need to hear as your entire body tenses up as finally, your orgasm hits you like a brick wall & you let out a squeal & Hyunjin has to grip onto your hips as his life depend on it in order for you to not flop & slip off the couch.

Your noises & the way your pussy flutters around him is just too much for him to handle & as much as he doesn't want to, he pulls himself out of your wet, hot walls as his cum spurts down your ass & back, throwing his head back as his cock quite literally pulsates as his balls empty, a high pitched whimper leaving his lips, breathing staggered.

He comes back to his body quicker than you do & he helps reposition you so you're fully laying on the couch, trying to make sure his cum doesn't get onto any other surface.

He grabs his underwear & wipes the cum off your back in a comfortable silence, slightly twitching as he wipes it off. He leans over your back again before kissing your earlobe. "Did so well, so proud of you, still so pretty for me despite being sticky with sweat." you both weakly laugh as you turn onto your back before using the ounce of strength you have left to pull on his wrist.

"cuddle." is all you say as you pull on him until he lays on top of you, half his weight dangling off the arm of the couch as he lays his head on your chest, listening to your still racing heartbeat & he can't help but feel secure.

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You both sit like this for a while, talking to one another about what you both spoke about in a bit more detail & also just talk to each other about things you don't know about one another, things like family pets, favourite colours, favourite brands etc.

Hyunjin ends up powering his phone back on & you are both just scrolling through his for you page, when you remember his phone ringing. "Quick question hyune, who was it that called you? If it was important you coulda stopped to answer." you ask him, not lifting your eyes from the video playing on his phone screen, not really thinking too much of it.

"Don't stress it, it was just someone I'm not gonna be speaking to anymore." he replies in s tired voice, still scrolling. His reply slightly confusing you. "Who? I don't mean to be nosey or anything but now i'm curious." you respond back, your fingers in his hair now pausing.

Without saying anything, he switches apps, onto his call log & it's Lisas name at the top.. nineteen missed calls. He just sighs as he presses on the 'more' option before deleting her number & deleting the Imessage conversation without even bothering to read her spam of texts, yelling, crying & cussing him out before switching apps back onto tiktok without saying a word & you just blush, your hands cupping his cheeks from above, your thumbs just below his eyes.

"You're cute." you say as you squeeze them playfully & he just 'tut's but still, he melts himself into your touch.

I'm not completely sure if I want to leave this story as a two parter orrrrrr do a third n final part but to everyone wanting a happier ending here you all are!

Tags: @troublemaker02 @ismokeeweed @lmhcats @isagerada @tsunderelino

#hyunjin skz #hyunjin smut #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin #skz smut #stray kids #straykids x reader #straykids #stray kids smut #skz fanfic #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz #skz hyunjin #smut #kpop smut #fanfic

[lune-redd]

Hello, it's Lelly.

As you may know, I have recently deactivated my Twitter account. A lot of people are speculating I left because I was being harassed for drawing my older depiction of Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls as chubby. However... that's not the direct reason I left. In fact, I didn't really see much of the comments of folks on there getting riled up about it as I muted the tweet the morning I saw that it blew up. I was only merely aware of it all by being told about it from friends, with there being some other users on the site making other really fuckin' stupid comments about my art.

This does however lead into why I actually left Twitter, and it's because of Twitter's overall toxic nature. Overtime, I've really gotten sick of how absolutely revolting Twitter has become to experience. The site is basically built around dunk culture and doom scrolling. You know that one tweet of someone making an example of Twitter's utter stupidity by using pancakes and waffles as an example?

I bring this up because I think this fits my point about how Twitter has this thing of assuming the absolute worst about the most insignificant things, even the most innocuous. The "Bubbles obesity" comments weren't the only stupid comments that came out of that post. I also got a quote retweet that I was "forcefully feminizing Buttercup", even though the whole fucking point of that drawing was to depict a usually tough character in an unusual situation for her. I have also gotten stupid comments on other drawings though, like the one where Mitch pushes Buttercup down for trying to look taller than she is and I got called a misogynist for it, though I'm pretty sure that one was bait (Twitter users have a tough time figuring out what is and isn't bait, it's dunk culture that I'm about to talk about really doesn't help this).

The site's dunk culture is also really fuckin' bad. Quote retweets are a disease, as unlike Tumblr's reblog comments, quote retweets count as a different post. Someone disagrees with you? Show your audience how stupid they are on your page! Hey, are you trying not to see the most abhorrent racist statement imaginable? Well TOO BAD FUCK YOU here's a le epic own giving them all the attention in the world even though one of the most common internet rules are DON'T FEED THE FUCKIN' TROLLS YOU IDIOT. Oh hey, are you trying to explain how you prefer a certain artistic choice over another in something you like? Well you're a deranged ungrateful whiny nitpicker, get owned!

I've seen so many of my friends be belittled for simply discussing their artistic preferences of things they're passionate about. I'll never forgive y'all for beating down my friend for saying he prefers the original Crash Bandicoot design over his redesigned look in Crash 4, even when he had legitimate reasons for why he felt that way. I'm sick and tired of it all. The reaction to my art is only a mere example of the shit I despise about that site.

I had been planning on leaving Twitter for quite some time, as my follower count was growing nearer and nearer to 10K. I had planned on leaving after 10K followers because that amount was wayyyy too fuckin big for me to handle. I'm a young and growing lad, and I felt it wouldn't be good for my mental sanity to handle all that, so I dipped. The amount of attention I've been getting is simultaneously both wonderful and extremely overwhelming. Even the explosion of new followers and asks on here is quite the load! (Seriously, calm the fuck down y'all) I am very grateful for all the supportive asks I've gotten even though I won't be able to answer them all, thank you all so very much.

tl;dr I didn't leave Twitter because I was being harassed or anything, but rather because of the site's overall toxic and belittling environment.

Adios.

-Lelly

#if youre confused by my wording im so sorry i dont often write long paragraphs like this in my spare time

[steddieas-shegoes]

You deserve every single one of these 3000 followers!! You deserve to have ALL the followers.

and for the prompt. I just thought of something silly. 😂😂😂

"Eddie, why are all of my shirts cropped??!"

I am so happy you sent something in, and that it's silly. Thank you so much my lovely friend! 💖

👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕👕

Unpacking was the worst thing in the world, Steve decided.

It didn't help that their AC was barely functioning and the only fan they had was in the bathroom so the air would circulate and they could avoid mold until the window was fixed.

Who even decided to move during the middle of summer?

Eddie had already promised he'd unpack the books because he was so picky about organization, but the rest for their bedroom was up to Steve. He unpacked the bedding and bedside table stuff earlier, but the clothes. God, they had so many clothes.

He managed to work through most of Eddie’s easily. He had a lot, but most of them were already folded and could be put in drawers. Steve’s required more hangers.

Steve cut open the next box, pulling out his favorite sweater. All his sweaters needed to be hung up. God, why did he even have this many sweaters?

When he was done with that, he moved onto the next box: his shirts. Most of them were his t-shirts, things he wore around the house or when they were hanging out with the kids.

And every single one he pulled out of the box was shorter than he remembered.

After six of them, he decided to try one on and see if he was going crazy from the heat or if they actually were shorter.

Cropped. It was fucking cropped.

All of them were.

“Eddie!” He yelled, trying not to let his anger turn this into something more than it was.

“Yes, my love?” Eddie called back from the end of the hall.

“Why are all of my shirts cropped?”

He wasn’t given an answer, which was an answer in itself.

He stormed out of the room and nearly ran into Eddie, who was walking into the room, piece of hair already in his mouth.

“You look great, sweetheart,” he tried to say.

Steve held a finger to his lips before placing both hands on his hips.

“You did this to all of my t-shirts?”

“Not all of them. But a lot of them.”

“Why?”

Eddie at least seemed like he was regretting doing it, at least a little.

“Well, the first was a dare from Robin. And then I did a couple more because you only wear them when we’re home alone so I figured it wouldn’t matter.”

“And then the others?”

“I got carried away.”

“And?”

Eddie sighed. “I wanted to see your body! Sorry for being so in love with you?”

Steve couldn’t help the laugh he let out at that.

Eddie was nothing if not absolutely infatuated with his body: his scars, his freckles and moles, the way his hips fit perfectly in Eddie’s hands, his happy trail. It made sense that he’d find an excuse to see more of it.

And Steve couldn’t even be mad. It’s not like he ruined anything, and none of the cropped shirts were expensive. Plus, it was the hottest summer Steve could remember and having less clothing on as much as possible seemed ideal.

Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck and kissed his forehead.

“I could’ve just found some crop tops at the store, you know.”

“Why waste the money? You’ve got perfectly croppable clothes here.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Steve sighed, but smiled.

Eddie’s hands drifted to Steve’s hips, squeezing bare skin.

Yeah, Steve was definitely okay with the crop tops.

“I know I am.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #asks #follower celebration

[nightgoodomens]

some people may say this is me projecting. to be honest, I don't care, I don't need to project because i'm over it, and i've verified with a friend to make sure i'm not accidentally making things up because i thought i was going insane, but GT is making alarm bells go off in my head.

she's exactly like my ex. same person. used to put me down ALL THE TIME online (much smaller scale obviously we are not famous! but to 2k people on twitter) as a joke and at first it was funny but then it stopped being funny after a while. i was the strange guy he could take a piss on for everyone to laugh. didn't usually respond to it because I didn't like dragging it, but whenever I responded in bantering style, he got all sad and insecure and basically didn't let me respond to his "jokes" online with jokes of my own. (GT doesn't do that cuz DT doesn't have social media to respond but the point is that it was also one sided.)

there are more similarities, but this struck me when I first saw it. maybe this is just me and everyone I've talked to about it, I don't know, but I genuinely cannot imagine anyone, including DT, actually being okay with this shit. people saying "you haven't had a loving relationship that's why you don't understand making jokes with your partner" to excuse GT really don't get it. you can make jokes with your partner, but you have to hold the same power in joking about each other. and private jokes are different than public ones.

sorry for the rant. I am enraged.

I am so glad to hear that he’s now your ex! What a prick. You’re not the only one who dealt with such bastard, quite a few people spoke up here about having suffered similar, so you’re not “projecting” - it is just what it is. We learn which people to avoid in our lives - you can’t gaslight yourself every time that you’re just projecting when alarm bells go off in your head. A twat is a twat.

Antis normalised and excused so much over the years, it’s incredible but they’re so deep in it that they are unable to take a step back and say you know what - I won’t excuse this. If it looks fucked up, it is. But instead they’re on Twitter mocking DT for saying “no”. Saying everything is a joke. Normalising shitty behaviours and excusing them. Telling people to kill themselves if they disagree. They just lost it.

It’s never funny when it’s one person taking the piss out of another, or mocking them, or humiliating them, or crossing their boundaries - and publishing it for everyone to see to mock them further - while that person is not even on social media. It’s not banter when it’s one sided. It’s backstabbing. And it’s especially pathetic when it comes from people who haven’t accomplished anything in their lives and are currently entirely dependant on the subject of their jokes who according to them needs to be “humbled” but they’re not the ones acting like celebrities desperate for attention. Meh. It’s just such lame behaviour at the very least.

#NightGoodOmens talks PR

[thegildedbee]

Choice: May 10 Prompt from @calaisreno

Program Note: Here, apparently, is my version of the Fall (I didn't know I had one until writing this 👻 in response to the picture the word "Choice" prompted in my mind's eye.) Because I'm doing these on the hoof, you may find aspects that don't make sense or contradict something I wrote previously and so on. I point this out not to whine,😊 but to invite you, if you're perplexed at anything, to feel free to let me know, in the notes or by message! I'll add any feedback re incongruities to my own growing list of errors, and, if I do something with these prompt puppies someday in actual fic form, I'll be sure to ponder any observations you send my way! ( tgb 🐝) ...........................................

Fleeing from Kitty Riley’s home after Moriarty's escape, Sherlock is more furious than he has ever been at any time in his life, and his breathing is shallow and patchy. He stands in the middle of the street, caught in indecision, as he watches John paging through the cuttings in Jim’s “Richard Brook” file folder, his heart beating erratically, his mouth pressed into a line that twists into a grimace, despair evident in every centimeter of his body. 

John registers the sudden quiet, and looks up distractedly, his forehead creasing in concern when he spies Sherlock suspended between one side of the street and the other, immobile. 

“Sherlock? What? What is it?” 

Sherlock’s brain has been stoppered along with the rest of his body, through the force of the emotional tsunami racing through his nervous system. He closes his eyes briefly, registering the storm inside: fury, despair, futility, chaos, blackness, and a deep unhappiness that any semblance of okay has disappeared, blown far out of sight and beyond his reach. His mind stutters on the last one, and he suddenly knows where he should be. 

“There’s something I need to do,” he says grimly, looking at John as if peering at him from a vast distance, which he is. He feels his thought processes beginning to slowly start making connections again.

“What is it? Can I help?” John says, confused, tentative.

“No. The rest I have to figure out on my own.” Sherlock turns away from John and breaks into a jog on his way to Bart’s, intent on catching Molly before she leaves the building, his feet pounding in a dismal cacophony as he makes his way. The mounting tension pressing against his skin from deep inside his body levels off when he catches sight of her in the hallway, and he skids to a stop and flags her down. 

“Molly. Earlier – when you said I looked sad, and asked me if I was okay. You were right. I am sad, and I’m not okay. Time is running out. I have very little room to maneuver, and none at all if I can’t find an ally I can trust. You said you didn’t count, and that’s not true. You do count. I’ve always trusted you. That’s why I’m here now. ” 

He looks at her intently, saying urgently, “I need your help. Moriarty has injected a lethal poison into the world that surrounds me, and its effects are accelerating, and they’ll soon take on a life of their own, if they haven't already.” He stops, fists balled up, his fingernails sending sharp stabs of pain through his system. 

Molly returns his gaze, also intent, scanning his face, her forehead furrowed. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I think I’m going to die.”

“Explain.” 

“I will. But first – it’s important for you to know that you can tell me no, for what I'm about to ask” he says softly, slowly, carefully. “If I wasn’t everything that you think I am – everything that I think I am – would you still want to help me?”

Molly looks back at him, steady on. “Sherlock. You are many things, some good, some not so good, some peculiar, some hard to fathom, some astonishing. Inside these walls, I have spent thousands of hours reconstructing lives with you, and beside you. I know who you are when you are here and I know it to be who you are when you walk back out these doors.”

She sits down on a stool, and says gently, “Tell me what you need. I’ll do my best to help you.” She watches as Sherlock gives her an achingly helpless nod, an expression that she doesn’t think she’s ever seen before on his face. “It’s urgent, yes? Let’s get started then. What do you need?” 

“You. I need you. Your medical expertise. Your access to Bart’s. Your ability to work with my streetside networks. Your solidity. Your counsel.”

As he speaks, Molly sees him beginning to regain his footing, and says, encouragingly, “Go on.”

“Moriarty is nearly done setting up his fun house mirrors, reflecting a false image of me to the world, destroying my reputation. I think he means for this all to end by making it seem as if I’ve committed suicide, when it will actually be by his hand in one way or another. It’s inevitable.

“I have a very few hours to try and tilt the odds in my favor. I need to meet him at a time and place of my choosing – in the morning, here at Bart’s, on the rooftop. No cctv; no outside intrusions; no other people at hand. Just the two of us, finishing the game he’s been playing, moving the last two pieces on the board: him, and me.

“But the roof, Sherlock. That sounds incredibly dangerous. What if he forces you off the edge?”

Sherlock continues, his tone grim and determined. “It may come to that, although I will do my best to turn the tables on him. I won’t know until I meet with him what options are viable. I hope to capture him; my best chance of repairing the damages he's made by his slashing through my existence is to take him alive. But it may not be possible. The roof we’re standing on – he may go over the side; I may go over the side; we both may go over the side. I am going to try and prepare for these eventualities, but I have very few resources I’ll be able to have at hand. I’m afraid that, in the end, it will come down to the unanticipated, and to whatever luck the universe will allow.”

“If you fall – how are you going to manage that?” Molly probes, worried.

“Before I answer you, first -- when this is happening, I’m going to need you to be in contact with Wiggins. Hold on, let me make sure he’s gettable.” Sherlock steps aside to send a text and then sets down his mobile -- and then immediately picks it up again, glancing up at Molly. “One more – stay with me,” and his fingers set to work sending a message to another number. He regroups, then at the feel of his mobile vibrating, holds up a finger. “Okay, Wiggins is standing by for instructions after we’re done."

Sherlock takes in a deep breath and pauses, and then takes in one more. “I’ll ask him to have members of his crew gather signs that can be placed to block off the street, and arrange those people so that they can reinforce the restricted access. There will be a crucial period when there should be nobody on the street who is not one of our confederates. He’ll text you when that is, and I’ll need for you to keep a lookout and provide help from inside the building, in heading off any of Bart’s personnel who may be at ground level for some reason, and who look inclined to leave the premises.

“That’s one thing. The next is if I’m injured. I’ll need for you to assess the situation and, only if it’s absolutely necessary, get some of them to help you route me to the emergency room. But only if it’s absolutely necessary. You know that my definition of absolutely necessary will be much further out on the scale than anyone else’s. Anything short of that, I’m asking you to triage me yourself as best as possible until Mycroft appears.

“Mycroft is helping, then?”

“No, not yet. I can’t be sure he’s not compromised. After whatever events transpire on the roof, I’ll know which it is, but I don’t have enough evidence yet. If I’m dead, it won't matter which it is. If I’m conscious, I can let him stay, or send him away and zigzag myself away somehow, whichever makes sense.”

Molly waits quietly, absorbing all the details she's being entrusted with.

“There are two items I need, and I’ve told Wiggins where to find the first – one of the old-fashioned nets that firefighters used before modernizing their equipment, in the case of suicidal jumpers or people up several stories high, caught in a burning building. They’re circular, but they’re stored folded in half. There’ll be a large laundry truck at the site, and the net will be stored hanging on the outside passenger side panel. Wiggins’ people will grab it, open it, and hold it – and we’ll hope for the best.

Molly's eyes dart back and forth, turning over the scenario. “But Sherlock, that’s incredibly risky. If the net is that old – whatever material it’s made out of could have degraded over the years, as well as depending on how it's been stored. It may not hold, and that’s if you actually land on it.”

“Or I can land on it, and it holds, but the momentum causes my body to bounce off of it, and I may get smashed up even so," Sherlock says evenly.

“Or no matter how hard they try to manage it," Molly continues, "one or more of the people holding it could falter, causing it to tilt at an angle, or even drop it before you land, or drop it if and when you hit it, come to that."

"Yes," Sherlock affirms. “Or there could be a wind gust that throws things off. And so on. I know. As clever as we both are, I’m sure we could find more specifics of what can go wrong. But at that point I’ll have no control over the matter, so spending more time on it now won’t help me stay alive."

Sherlock’s mobile vibrates again, and he reaches out quickly to grab it, as if it is something vital to hang onto while floating across a stretch of ocean, lost. After he reads the message, he also sits down, the stool catching him as he sways, and slips, holding him up.

Feeling some of his rising panic receding, he says, “There, that’s the second piece. There’s a small company about an hour outside of London, D30, that makes body armor for extreme athletes who ski, use motorcycles, and so on, people who attempt jumps and find themselves falling from a height, and need impact protection. They're doing work for the military now as well. They’re brilliant chemists, and they’ve been working with polymers and created a material that’s soft and pliable, but when hit with force it goes rigid, dispersing the force at the points of contact, and then returns to its original state. I’ve texted one of the engineers to see if they can bring me something to wear, and they should be here within the hour. It should help some."

“That's good," Molly says, although the stern cast of her face is at odds with her words, the reason why revealed with what she says next. "Sherlock, what about John? Why isn’t he involved in this? Or is he, toward some other end?” Molly asks, tense and apprehensive.

“Whether or not Moriarty and I actually physically struggle, I may still need to make the choice to jump, because I may need to buy time up ahead to be safe from Moriarty’s people while I try and neutralize them – especially if I can’t trust Mycroft. I may need to appear to have died."

Sherlook looks her in the eye, and then drops his gaze. “I’ll need two forms of evidence to bluff being dead. One is to have you do the autopsy and sign the death certificate. For the second verification, I'll need a compelling witness at the scene, and that will be John. I will need for him to believe I’m dead, no question, in order to convince others, as everyone will be looking to him over the days ahead, to see if there are any falsities about what's happened, and if he puts a foot wrong, it will all be for naught. He’ll have to be there to confirm my fall and how it killed me.

“There’ll need to be some stagecraft – I’ve stored some blood in the empty cadaver bin at the end of the last row on the bottom, which you’ll need to hand over to Wiggins, and which they'll spill around my head. I’ll place a rubber ball in my armpit that I’ll squeeze against my side, and that will stop my pulse along that arm."

Molly looks dissatisfied with the chain of thoughts Sherlock is sharing, but she remains quiet. "An additional bit of insurance that this will go off as it should," Sherlock continues, noting her disquiet, but shrugging to himself mentally, "there’ll be a bicycle rider who will collide with John to slow him down as he moves toward where I've landed. When he stops to help John up, he’ll place one of his riding gloves over John’s nose and mouth. His gloves will be soaked in a substance that, when John inhales it into his lungs, will immediately hit his bloodstream; he'll be light-headed and disoriented and somewhat clumsy for a short while. After it clears his system, he’ll assume that how he felt will be due to the shock of seeing me fall.”

Having heard all she can without responding, she slides from her stool and stands up, bending her elbows and placing her hands on her hips. “You’ll tell him, won’t you? He’ll be devastated if he doesn’t know the truth, Sherlock.” 

Sherlock shrugs, this time physically, his countenance withdrawn, his voice hesitant. “Initially, maybe. But I don’t think that John’s regard for me is based on a solid foundation. I told him once that heroes don’t exist, and that even if they did, I’m not one. But I think he’s invested in my being an infallible genius, and a chief reason he's stayed with me is that he has a front row seat to watch me perform my mental gymnastics. I’ve been observing him over the last hours, taking in the information that has been amassing that I’m a fraud, and I think it’s starting to have an effect. Even if he doesn’t completely believe everything they’ll say about me, if he believes even some of it, that will be the end of us. And if he does manage to set all of that aside -- I will have irreparably disappointed him by not being able to anticipate Moriarty's game and to beat him at it . . . and, in fact, to have done as badly at handling Moriarty as anyone without a brain would."

“Sherlock, I don’t think that’s true about John," Molly says insistently.

"You may be right, Molly. But beyond me, beyond myself, the horrible stories that are being spun are catching John within the web as well. The collateral injustices he will have to bear is thatof being an object of curiosity, of pity, of scorn -- at the very least -- and, much worse, he will come under suspicion himself of having been duplicitous." Sherlock sinks his head down into his hand, his expression wrecked and weary. "I don't want to add fuel to that fire, and divorcing him from myself and my work is the only thing I have of value to give him, in a poor imitation of compensatory and punitive damages for loss of employment, emotional distress, and product liability," he says forlornly, his tone edging into bitterness.

"Sherlock, even so, you need to give John a chance to let you know how he’s responding to all of this. Don't assume you know his mind."

Sherlock's eyes dart back and forth, lighting anywhere but in her direct line of sight. "I will, Molly. I’ll see him one more time, here in the lab before I go to meet Moriarty. I’ll be able to tell what he's decided about me then, after he’s had time to take in the latest theatrics and make a judgment. I'm sure he'll let me know what he thinks of me, and how he feels."

........................................................ @calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @friday411 @peanitbear @original-welovethebeekeeper rest of the @s in the tags, which will work for communication purposes, I hope? just say the word if you want to be untagged or tagged xoxoxo

#mayprompts2024 #calaisreno #sherlock bits and bobs #may prompts 2024 #johnlock

[lokisprettygirl]

Rain to his Fire (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon 80s Au) (18+)

Read chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5

Summary: Daemon finally gets sent to the lone ward.

Warning: 18+, smutty scenarios, crude language, description of Statutory rape, discussion of mental health (it's a fic based in a mental health facility), mention of physical assault, the fic would contain several mentions of several disorders like mpd, did etc, if something triggers you don't read, smoking.

“Tell me something sexual about yourself” Daemon asked as he watched you tidy up his room like everyday, he was laying on his front half naked, his chin situated on his forearms as he spoke, with the ever so present mischievous glint in his eyes.

“And why would I do that?” You replied, keeping your tone light-hearted but playful at the same time.

“Because we are friends now aren't we? That's what friends do” he mumbled softly so you looked at him momentarily before you went back to dusting.

It's been a week since that night when you had confidently revealed your desires to him and accepted that you thought of him in your bed, but as the morning arrived you were back to being your timid self and you asked him for his friendship instead to which he responded with a gracious shake of a hand and fist bump.

Sex wasn't a frivolous activity for you, the idea of giving a man every piece of your body was a foreign concept for you, people often deemed you prudish, your mother was always worried that you'd never find a man this way but was it wrong of you to value the skin you lived in? To not be so easily accessible to every other man out there?

You enjoyed it when Daemon touched you like that, he didn't make your skin crawl or made you feel disgusted whenever he would say something about sex, but the idea of crossing that line terrified you. Not to forget, there were plenty of obstacles on the way, first and foremost he was a patient getting treated at the center, he was on medication and you didn't even know if anything he said actually mattered to him or he was just messing with you to kill time until he's out of here. In the real world, would he even remember you? or would he simply move on to the next person who caught his eyes?

You didn't think you were special enough to keep him invested in you for long.

“Ummmm you go first mister” you said with a hint of teasing in your voice making Daemon chuckle, he then leaned his elbows on the bed, propping his head up.

“Alright..do you want to know anything specific?” He asked you so you grabbed the handle of the broom and stopped dusting as you thought about it. You looked cute he thought, with your lips curled and a look of confusion on your face.

“Okay ummm when did you do it for the first time?”

There was a smirk on Daemon's face as you posed the question, he saw it coming from a mile away.

“I was sixteen” he answered quickly, not wanting to stall the question.

“Really? Sixteen?” You grimaced slightly so he gave you a smile.

“Mmmhmm”

“Okay ummm with your then girlfriend i am assuming” you mumbled confidently so he shook his head.

“Nooo..i didn't have one at the time”

Huh!!

“Who did you do it with then?”

“My brother's girlfriend” you were taken aback by Daemon's admission, your eyes widened and mouth opened. You felt slightly offended too, he was a child at the time but still, your own brother's girlfriend?

“You cheated your brother like that?”

“He didn't care about her if he cheated on her first” he replied, his voice still even as if the memory didn't affect him in the slightest.

“So she came to you? For revenge?” you asked curiously.

“Yeah I didn't mind that i was used like that” You hummed as he said that before you remembered something.

“Hold on, you told me that your brother had raised you, how old was she?” you asked him.

“She was thirty, same as him” he revealed nonchalantly and all of a sudden you felt utterly disgusted by that woman you didn't even know. At thirty you couldn't even think of doing something like that to a boy who's not even an adult.

“A thirty year old woman seduced you at sixteen? You know that's wrong right? I mean flip the situation and you'd see how wrong it is..it's illegal” he sighed as you said that, a part of him knew you'd not take it in good spirit. Nobody would.

“Who cares??? I got the first taste of a cunt ..I'm not complaining” you felt a mixture of frustration and disbelief at his response.

“Well you should.. you should be complaining”

“Don't you want to know how it happened?” he asked so you immediately shook your head. But despite your reluctance, Daemon got up on his knees, crawled off the bed and approached you, seemingly eager to share the story..

“It was raining that night..i was all alone at home, my brother was away for a conference so I had plans for the night. It involved a pint of beer, a pack of cigarettes and of course a dirty magazine” you crossed your arms as he circled around you in dramatic fashion.

“I was jerking off when I heard the door bell ring–”

“Did you wash your hands before you opened the door?” His brows crinkled as you asked that. Perhaps such a question would have annoyed him if it had come from some other woman he just wanted to seduce and fuck but with you he found it endearing. Everything you did and said seemed cute to him, and he couldn't help but feel a bit smitten,

“I don't remember” He let out a deep sigh and rolled his eyes before speaking.

“You remember everything else-”

“Shhhhh listen now my virgin mary” he cupped your cheeks and your heartbeat raised immediately due to the proximity. The audacity he had to just hold you always made you want to do stupid things.

“She was crying, heavily, she found out about my brother fucking someone else in the city, so I hugged her to comfort her” he narrated the incident further but nothing could have changed your opinion about that filthy woman.

“And then you kissed her?”

“Noo.. we didn't kiss, never kissed during the act or ever really. She went down on her knees to suck my cock, it was a dream come true..she was beautiful, a real woman, and she was touching me in places only my hands had reached before-” you cut him off before he could finish whatever he was going to say,

“It's wrong, and you know it. How would you feel if it was your son? What would you do if you found out he was being taken advantage of by an older woman?” you questioned him, your tone firm and concerned. Instead of answering your questions, he simply smirked in response

"Look at you, so motherly. Aren't you?" Your expression hardened as you stepped away from him, realizing the gravity of the situation.

You know he had intended for the story to be just another seduction trick to mess with you but it only made you feel awful for him. His parents weren't around and his older brother definitely didn't seem like the best role model if he was out committing infidelity so shamelessly. Who was protecting him? Who was taking care of him? Who was there for him when he needed a guiding hand? You were starting to understand why he was the way he was.

And not to mention it's been a week since you hadn't found any other feather or silver locks in his room, nothing else to support his claim of being a half dragon. Perhaps he ran out of the props he had bought, but what about the bars at the window though? How did he rip them apart? Did he steal a tool or something from the building?

As you worked on cleaning the tables in the cafeteria during lunch hour, Daemon's eyes were fixed on you the whole time. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he was staring, you just hoped that no one else would notice or care about it even if they did. You glared at him so he'd stop but he kept the gaze steady.

As Shyla walked past you, you couldn't help but be worried, after the incident in Dr. Vis's office, Shyla had suddenly become quiet and more reserved, her bubbly personality no longer visible. Perhaps she felt guilty regarding her lying about Daemon assaulting her and that the guilt was eating her up inside.

As you approached his table to pick up his tray he stared at you intensely.

“You're such a prude” he muttered suddenly, making the anger surge in your body, you glared at him and placed your fist on your waist to speak to him.

“Prude? Is that what you think of me?” you exclaimed “Am I a prude just because I feel bad for a sixteen year old boy?” your voice raised slightly as you couldn't believe how he could be so callous about it.

“Bad? You're talking as if I was raped or something” he shrugged as if it was no big deal for him which it wasn't.

“You were taken advantage of, and you don't even realize that, you think of it as some sort of an achievement” he couldn't help but snicker as you analyzed him.

“Hmmmm woahh.. I'm wondering why you didn't become a shrink” he said with a hint of mockery in his tone so you rolled your eyes and grabbed his tray to go do your job before this thing could escalate further.

Later that night you had just come out of the shower when you heard a faint knock on the door and you didn't have to take a wild guess regarding who it was.

He quickly entered as you opened the door so you closed it immediately before anyone would see him, as you turned around to look at him his eyes seemed sad and..just sad. Really sad.

“I'd choke her to death if my son had been touched like that” he said to you, his eyes now visibly teary and breaths shaken as he spoke, you neared towards him to place your hands around his waist.

“Exactly.. and you deserved that kind of protection as well, you lost your virginity to a predator, didn't even get your first kiss”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his head down on your shoulder as he embraced you. Your fingers traced across the scar on his back, even through the thin fabric of his shirt you could feel them clearly and it made your heart twist uncomfortably. You couldn't help but wonder if it was from an injury, or if someone had intentionally hurt him so deeply. Perhaps one day, he would open up and share the story behind his scars, you hoped for that.

As he pulled away you cupped his cheeks and caressed his skin lightly, a part of you made you want to kiss his lips but you refrained.

"Your turn," he said suddenly as he stepped away from you with a casual demeanor. The vulnerability he had just shown you seemed to have disappeared instantly as if he had flipped a switch.

“What?” You looked at him confused so he walked towards your bed and sat down.

“You didn't answer my question this morning”

He reminded you of the stupid question so you sighed.

“Ohh that” you chuckled lightly in recognition so he nodded his head.“I don't have anything like that” he groaned at your response and rolled his eyes.

“Come on ..give me something”

You sighed as you sat down next to him.

“Fineeee” you bit on your lips as you thought of something to quench his curiosity.

“Okay but don't make fun of me”

You warned him so he chuckled.

“Don't give me a reason to do so” you slapped his arm playfully as he said that,

“Ummm okay here it goes..I can ummm make myself.. okay I don't know how to say it..i can give myself a release in thirty seconds” you mumbled quickly so he turned his body to look at you.

“You can make yourself cum in thirty seconds?”

“Mmhm”

“How so?” he raised his brows as he enquired.

“It's weird” you replied, not wanting to reveal more than you already had

“Show me..i like weird” he responded with a shrug, clearly intrigued

“I'm not going to show you” you replied firmly,

“Describe it then”

Daemon insisted, not willing to let the matter drop. You sighed as you knew this was a losing battle.

“You're annoying”

“Thank you. Now go on”

“Fine pervert ..i just squeeze my thighs, put my hand in between them and press on it a few times and then bam .. orgasmmmm” you revealed as fast as you could, his mouth hung open as he looked at you, wanting to see if you were messing with him but you seemed quite serious.

“That's it? Is this a regular thing that you do?” he asked you curiously.

You couldn't believe you were sharing all this to a man, a man that was your friend. You had a man friend, that felt nice.

“Yeah it relaxes me”

“But what do you think of when you're doing it?”

“Anything..there's not much time to create a script” you chuckled to lighten up the tension so he smirked.

“You're pretty cool you know?”

“Yeah right”

“No you are, you're the coolest girl i have ever known”

And your eyes moistened as he said those words so earnestly.

Next morning as you stood in the pantry, gathering your lunch items, you overheard a conversation between the other staff members and it immediately made you anxious

“Did you hear? The 'crazy dragon guy' is finally being transferred to the lone ward,” one of the guards mumbled, sounding a bit relieved.

Daemon had been doing good in the therapy this last week because Dr. Vis was out of his hair and he hadn't done anything to punish him, that was until today.

Dina then revealed that he had attacked two guards, Jacob and Darryl while they were waiting to escort him back from his therapy session to his room. While listening to the other staff members gossip about Daemon's behavior, you struggled to keep your emotions in check, not wanting to raise any suspicion regarding your attachment to him.

You walked out of the pantry muttering under your breath, 'Why would you do this, Daemon?' Why couldn't he just stay calm? The thought of him landing himself in even more trouble filled you with worry and disbelief. The lone ward was a filthy place, patients were left alone in the dark without food and water for a day and your heart rendered as you thought about him being stuck there alone with no one to care for him.

You knew Dr. Vis must have been furious at him, Darryl and Jacob had to be hospitalized after the incident, their injuries were not life threatening but definitely severe enough to put them in bed for days..

The next morning as you went to his room he had still not returned from the lone ward, how long would they keep him there you wondered?

When three days passed you started to feel sickly worried about him, and you missed him alot, you missed his stupid attractive face, and his smirk and that smile on his face and the way he was just able to warm his way into your heart, you missed it all. He was all alone in there and you had no idea what additional torture Dr Vis was subjecting him to.

As you went to the staff area that day, you heard people gossiping about something so you sat down as well.

“Perhaps Jacob and Darryl are suffering from a head injury, they are taking nonsense” one of the guards John said so Dina looked at him curiously.

“What do you mean?” she asked curiously.

“Everytime they're slipping back to consciousness they're screaming in fear and asking to be saved from the monster”

“I'm so lost’ Dina responded again so John turned to her.

“Apparently they saw him contort and turn into something else when he had attacked them, like a monster, they are rambling on about him growing scales and wings-”

Your heartbeat raised as you heard that, this couldn't be a coincidence right? Or maybe he did give them brain damage.

“Aren't you scared girl? Has he ever attacked you? You go in there everyday”

Dina asked you so you shrugged in response.

“He has never attacked me, it's possible that they made fun of him or pissed him off in some ways” everyone looked at you weirdly as you said that and you didn't want that kind of attention on you “or perhaps he's crazy..who knows right? I have to get back to work..see you folks” you mumbled as you got up and stepped out, grumbling under your breath.

In the evening you finally heard the commotion outside so you stepped out of your room to look down from the corridor and they were dragging him away from the lone ward back to his room. You could see other patients booing him off as he walked past them. You barely got a glimpse of him but he seemed hurt and miserable, he couldn't even walk on his own.

“What have they done to you?” you mumbled under your breath as you had no choice but to wait for the night time to go see him, you didn't want to risk getting caught by Dr. Vis.

At night you cautiously made your way to his room and perhaps it was your luck but there were no guards outside his room. It was as if Vis was setting him up for failure, you always felt that he had something personal against Daemon.

Without knocking you quietly entered the room but much to your disappointment he wasn't in there, you were about to step out when you heard the shower running so you calmed down and waited for him. A few minutes later the bathroom door swung open, your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him stepping out with one towel wrapped around his waist and another hanging around his neck.

“What are you doing? Get the fuck out of here” Daemon's voice filled the room as he glared at you, his face riddled with anger and frustration. You rose to your feet, taking in the sight of him as he dried his hair with the towel around his neck, his gaze never wavering from you.

Despite having prepared yourself for the worst, his words still cut you like a knife

"Are you alright?" you asked, your voice quivering. The response you received was far from what you had expected but you didn't want his anger to deter you from comforting him, he had been through something and you wanted to be there for him.

"Why the hell do you care? You're just a stupid maid I'm fooling around with so don't let it get to your head, alright?"

The sting of his words was enough to bring tears to your eyes as you struggled to process the sudden shift in his demeanor. His words cut deep so without saying a word more you turned around to leave, you knew he was suffering and you knew he had been hurt in the lone ward but what he had said still bothered you deeply. You couldn't hold back your tears as you laid down in bed, looking back now you felt foolish, of course he was messing around with you, in the outside world he wouldn't even look at you let alone be your friend. Or more.

The following morning, for the first time in the last month you felt awkward going to his room, now that he had made his feelings clear about you, you wanted to maintain your professionalism as you should have done from the start, you were determined to just do your job and get out of his room.

As you stepped inside his room, you approached the bedside lamp to turn on the lights, he was still asleep so at least you didn't have to deal with him. Your eyes fell upon the scars on his back but then you also saw several bruises which you weren't able to see at night. Was this allowed? Were they allowed to hurt a patient this way?

As he turned around in bed you quickly shifted your gaze and focused on the job at hand.

Last night felt blurry to him, he was medicated, beaten up and so fucking angry but as he looked at your face, the night came rushing back to him, what he had said to you began to haunt him, how could he say that to you? His guilt only intensified as he struggled to understand how he could have been so cruel to someone who had shown him nothing but kindness and care since he had been thrown in here. He had not meant to hurt you, and yet, his words had caused you so much pain.

“Y/n” he mumbled your name but you didn't look at him, he was such a jerk he thought. Why would he subject you to his anger like that? He had no right, you trusted him, you considered him a friend and he had broken that trust in the wake of his anger.

“Heyyy” he got up to grab your hand so you glared at him and he let it go immediately.

“I'm sorry” he mumbled softly so you shook your head in response, feeling a lump form in your throat. You knew speaking without breaking down into tears would be nearly impossible.

“Why are you sorry?” you asked in a voice so small he could barely hear it “I'm just a maid afterall.. you could treat me like one right?” You said to him as you walked away to grab your cart, you weren't strong enough to deal with this right now.

Your words caused him a great deal of hurt but he deserved it for being such a jerk, he looked down in shame before he got off the bed to approach you.

“I didn't mean a word I said, I was angry and-” you cut him off mid sentence as he said that.

“And what? You were hurt so you hurt me?”

“You shouldn't be around me when I'm like this darling” he said, his tone softer but still tinged with guilt.

“Like what huh?” you demanded, frustration taking over as you looked away,

“I'm sorry, please just talk to me. Just look at me, heyy” he mumbled as he placed his hands on your shoulders, by this point your eyes were already dripping, you didn't even know until now how deeply you had started to care for him.

“Why did you come hmm?” He asked you so you looked at him in disbelief.

Was he really that dense?

“Because I had missed you..that is why” your voice barely a whisper as you confessed.

“So did I..”

“Is that why you insulted me?” you asked as you turned away from so he grabbed your arms and turned you towards him again so you'd look into his eyes..

“No please..do whatever you want to do to me, just don't stop talking to me darling..don't stop looking at me” his voice broke as he spoke and it only made you feel worse. He was suffering and you didn't want to add to it but you wouldn't allow this behavior, you won't let him take his anger out on you whenever he wanted.

“You can't treat me like trash just because you're hurting..”

“I can't..i know I can't..but I'm not perfect. I wouldn't be here if I was so perfect, i wouldn't spend three days in the ward if I was perfect” he mumbled as his eyes welled up with tears so you wrapped your arms around him to hug him. Perhaps he had needed it as much as you did because he immediately relaxed in your embrace, his body went soft in your arms as he held onto you tightly.

“Forgive me? Please?” He asked you as he pulled away so you nodded. So much so for the professionalism.

“What did he do to you?” you asked him as you caressed his arm riddled with several bruises.

“I’ll heal..don't worry about it” he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead before he wrapped his arms around you to hug you again, his nose sniffed around your neck repeatedly as he tried to calm his nerves.

“Why did you attack them Daemon?” You asked him so he pulled away, looked you in the eye before he stepped away from you.

“They were making fun of me”

You squeezed your eyes shut in utter disbelief as he said that.

“You can't beat up people for making fun of you Daemon”

“ I get that but I'd do it again if I have to”

“Daemon –”

“It's just who I am y/n..still want to be my friend?” He asked you as he smiled so you slapped his arm lightly before you got back to work. A part of you could tell that he was hiding something from you.

“Everyone from my shift .. they're going to visit them in the hospital this evening” you mumbled as you mopped the floor clean.

“And you're going?”

“I work with those guys Daemon..i have worked with them for two years now”

And you have known him barely a month, he thought.

“Fair enough”

He mumbled as he grabbed the mop to help you with the work. The gesture, though small in nature, really meant alot to you.

“Please don't get yourself in more trouble Daemon..i'm begging you” you mumbled softly as you took your gloves off once you were done and grabbed his forearm to caress the dark bruises, when you looked up at him he was staring at you,

“Is it bad that I want to kiss you right now?” he asked you, making your face heat up in response but you collected yourself.

“Mmmm yes .. friends don't kiss each other on lips”

“Who said anything about the lips?”

“Shut uppp” you smiled giddily, so he tilted his head to peck your cheek.

“Thank you for listening to me and forgiving me”

You smiled as he mumbled softly, as you were about to step out of his room he called your name once again so you turned around to look at him,

“Be safe out there” he mumbled softly

“I will…I'm not a child” you rolled your eyes playfully as you stepped out and his eyes teared up.

You didn't even know what had happened that day or why he had attacked those men. But he remembered turning into his dragon form, he remembered how easily it had come to him and it was all because of you. It was so easy to become who he was when it was the matter of your honor and your safety on his mind.

In the evening, you and a group of people, including Dina and Shyla, got together to catch a cab into the city. You took a seat next to Shyla, who remained quiet and withdrawn the entire time. Unable to resist the urge to ask her what was wrong, you nudged her a little

"Are you okay?"

She finally turned to face you and her eyes seemed teary

"Do you remember Tanya?" It was clear that she had something on her mind

“Of Course..what happened “

“Nothing..I just wonder how she's doing out there”

You hummed as she said that, why did she bring her up suddenly? It made you feel uneasy and it reminded you of the note you had found under Tanya's mattress.

As you all arrived at the hospital both Darryl and Jacob were transferred to a private room so you went there along with the group.

At first glance they looked really awful, you couldn't even imagine what kind of beating they had survived. Why did Daemon attack them so brutally? What had they said to him for him to get so violent?

"Y/n, can you bring me the juice box from the cafeteria?" you heard Darryl ask you so you nodded in response

"Sure, are you allowed to have it?" you asked, unsure if he was able to consume anything at the moment. He nodded, and you made your way to the cafeteria. For some reason, Jacob wasn't even looking at you.

Halfway into the cafeteria you realized that you had left your purse in the room so you turned around swiftly.

“He's a monster..nobody is believing us but he's the Satan himself or something” you heard Darryl’s voice as he vented his frustration from the other side of the room so you stood next to the door to listen to what else he was going to say. He wasn't exactly being subtle about it.

“Did he attack you two out of nowhere?” John asked them and there was a silent pause of a few seconds before Darryl responded.

“Stupid fucker here made a crass joke about y/n and that motherfucker just flipped..it was just a stupid joke”

Your mouth opened in shock as Darryl revealed that piece of information. Daemon attacked those guys because of you? Because they said something about you?

“Perhaps he has a crush on y/n..its kind of cute” Shyla said and earned the looks of disgust in response.

“Crush? Do you not remember what he had done to you, Shyla?” Jacob asked her so she went quiet again.

Upon returning to the center you locked yourself in your room and pondered over what you had heard. He attacked Darryl and Jacob because they talked shit about you? You knew how men could get so vulgar with their jokes behind women's backs but did he really care that much about you that he was willing to lose his freedom just to defend you?

For the first time in your life you felt butterflies swarming in your belly, you had always read about this feeling but never experienced it yourself. You had asked him and he could have told you why he had done it, he could have influenced you with that if he wanted to but he didn't.

In the midst of the night, you made your way downstairs, burning with an intense desire to see Daemon. You desperately wanted to talk to him, hold him close after the ordeal he had endured, and maybe just maybe he'd have touched you the way he did that night, you wanted that.

And perhaps you could have done all those things that night but you were frozen in your spot as you saw Shyla standing outside his door, she knocked twice before he opened it, pulled her inside and then locked the door.

For the first time in your life, genuinely and truly, you found your heart breaking in pieces and you despised the feeling. You absolutely despised feeling this way.

😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Note : This chapter was less heated in the sexy department and more heated in angst, hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

Taglist

@anukulee @ammo23 @littledark11 @stupidthoughtsinwriting

@daenny-t

#daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader angst #non canon au #modern day au

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 15 Thoughts: Seasoned Hunters

What a fucking episode. No complaints at all. It's just solid gold all the way through and just like gold it's a dense so there is lots to dig in to, and not much point in a preamble.

Spoilers for episode 15, and all of TMA, below the cut.

I really like the introductory office drama portion of today's episode. It's not particularly enlightening, and there isn't anything new in it, but it sets the stage well. Yes, that was a pun. Alice reacted to the news as I knew she would, because she can't help herself. But other than that I really like the mention of Luke playing at The Glad. Magnus stuff always does a really good job of peppering in real places.

This incident was also incredibly short. However unlike last week's episode I think it utilised that time so much better. All of it was a slow build up to one event and was really just three scenes. Set up, hunt, conclusion. Simple and to the point but incredibly effective. Last week's episode felt like too big of an idea bent to fit too short of a time, while this weeks felt like a good story that was given the time it needed and no more or less. Really big fan of the whole thing.

The incident didn't have too much to really get into here. If I were live blogging you would've seen me say "Lady Mowbray?!?!" when the Caterer said "the really high-end stuff". I have been waiting for something aristocratic. The set up is a little cliché but I really like the subversion of Battle Royale instead of The Most Dangerous Game. It's not only an effective twist when the story is from the Caterer's PoV it's a much better insight into the characters were being introduced to. It also highlights something fairly interesting about TMP vs TMA. This incident is one of the most singular in terms of its representation of a TMA Entity but that expectation is somewhat subverted by having these characters hunt each other for another rather than all be hunted down. It wouldn't be out of place in TMA but it is taking a bit of a different approach.

Speaking of the characters though. Fuck Yeah. Lady Mowbray. Finally. I, and probably all of Statement Remains, have been waiting for her appearance since last October when some lucky folks got to meet her bodyguards as part of the ARG. I didn't have her pegged for a badass cannibal but here we are. She really surpassed my expectations. I love aristocratic monster people so I had high hopes and I am still pleasantly surprised.

Celia and Lady M's interaction is really great. I love that we're getting more and more evidence that Celia is clearly more than she's letting everyone else in on. I, obviously at this point, think she's from TMA's universe for a lot of reasons. Lady M not being able to place why she smells so wrong but picking up on her being out of place is just more evidence of that. Celia holding her ground and not taking any shit from Lady M is also incredible. She just listened to how she eats people, gets jumped scared by her, and then instantly tells her to fuck off by way of not giving her a name. She's really living up to the Ripley namesake and I love every second of it.

I will not soon forget that tiny little tease about Bouchard lore either. Actually cruel.

Luke and Alice at the bar wasn't a big moment but it's nice to see her interact with more than just her co-workers. Meeting Luke and he being seemingly normal was also nice, be a shame when he dies.

The final section was phenomenal. I really love it when these shows break format and what a format break it was. So first things first this was recorded on a tape recorder. Significant for likely obvious reasons but unlike the last time these showed up this one isn't an incidental placement like the Institute's one. It was being carried by the woman. We know Alice feels like she's been followed since that incident and this is likely related to it but I don't think it's related in the most obvious sense. There is a very obvious conclusion to draw from TMA knowledge but I feel like that might be folly here. It seems a little too obvious and a little too strained at the same time. The Institute and [Error] being so related to that and in this fashion I think would feel a bit forced, and so this feels more like a red herring to me. Something is going on with them but I don't think it's going to be that.

So Drowning Victim, as she is credited, is super intriguing for a million reasons. Continuing on from that prior thought it's quite possible that the tape recorder and Alice being in the same place is entirely coincidental. It's one of those things that feels like a scheme from TMA context but everything being linked feels too TMA to me for right now. But what she's saying is really interesting. Because with those tape recorders it sounds like a statement. It's not just random mumbling but a fairly coherent narrative. Or a recalling of prior events. Whether the Drowning Victim is the original PoV for that potential statement is hard to say. I doubt it but it would be possible. Another strong idea here is that it is linked to [Error] and her deal might be another archive. Instead of just collection and storage she could be able to force others to relive them through the statements. That's a TMA parallel I think would be a much stronger use of TMA's theme.

Outside of that Alice's interaction with her is so so well done. I think it's really important to show that Alice both has a heart and is able to stop with her attitude when it's really important. Getting to see that when push comes to shove she can step up is going to be something that'll come back around. We all know that everyone at the OIAR is in for a world of hurt and I think Alice is the person the fanbase has the biggest issue with in that sort of context so far. And her singing Nellie the Elephant for compression rate is sort of heart breaking to listen to. Just a really fantastic performance from Billie and people better be nicer to Alice after this. I better not hear her getting any shit for running away either. She gave CPR to a woman who basically attacked her, drowned in the middle of London, died, and then kept talking.

Also, quite note, this episode had five new voice actors in it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet

Klaus Watch: Wasn't expecting this to return so soon but here we are. This incident doesn't appear on Klaus but what does is this, CAT1RB2373-10072023-########. This has the accompanying note "Dame M" and a location "London, England".

DPHW Theory: 6451 is a pretty reasonable rating for this. Hunting mostly focused on the killing part of it. Some mental compulsion, seclusion, and obviously the predator/prey dynamic. The 1 in Weird is more evidence that 1 is the lowest rating with 0 being the highest. Nothing Weird in this one really.

CAT# Theory: CAT1 has a person in it.

I'm still debating whether to do a post on that theory because part of me does feel like it'd ruin other people's fun. Another part of me thinks that theories as prolific as that deserve to be scrutinised as intently as possible. Although there is a problem with that idea because my DPHW theory that has become the default does seem to be mine and I've not seen any cases of parallel thought on that one. The CAT theory has 10+ individuals all coming to roughly the same conclusion though and I'm not sure if that makes it more fair game or not. I, personally, welcome any challenges to my theories and I know some people who have posted the CAT theory do but that's not the same as them all holding that stance. It's not really possible to single anyone out either as it's not about any single person but the idea itself. IDK, give your thoughts on it.

This one does solidly fit into that theory though.

R# Theory: B sounds good to me. Although it's worth mentioning that there is a hyphen in this header between the rank and the DPHW.

Header talk: Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion is interesting for two reasons. First off it being Hunt sort of precludes, secondly Compulsion is a strange filing for this IMO. There was an element of it but it was fairly minor and didn't seem like the thrust of the episode. The Caterer was compelled to be quiet but wasn't forced to hunt the rest of the brigade. He chose that when he realised what Lady M. was getting at.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp theory #tmagp speculation #klaus = kl4-u5

[midnight-coll]

My name is ebony dark'ness lucifer raven way. Like gerard way, but we're not related or anything. Im glad we aren't, because he's sooo hot. I have long ebony black hair, like my name, with red streaks and I'm wearing knee high boots with a black mini skirt and sexy fishnet tights with a cut black top with cut off sleeves and my hair is in my eyes because im emo. That prep chuck or whatevr is staring at me. I put my middle finger up at him.

Im walking through a random foggy street somewhere in the midwest. There r murders here and its sooo Gothic, im a vampire but my teeth ate straight and white and nobody would ever know but ima actually a good vampire because the ones who suck SUCK. Its like if edward cullen didn't suck. Anyway i look over at the gotjic murders sadly and watch as the the sexy fbi agents ask the mother of the murder about... Vampires. When they turn around, they look at me and oh my god that's not an fib agent its DEAN WINCHESTER?

Dean walks over sadly and introduces himself as bill ward with his partner, geezer butler. I laugh sadly and tell him "too bad i know who you really are... Dean and Sam winchester" they look at me.in shock. "Im a friend of the sexy bobby singer too i know you" they both gasp mournfully. "Well if you know Bobby why don't we.meet up later and uh go out later." I smile and accept. Omg im going out with dean winchester!!¡!

Gothically time skips

When i go to my gothically shutty hotel i call bonby "oh my god dean is taking me out later" and bonby replied "i cant believe you didn't tell me you liked him earlier" "i didn't want to tell yoi bwcause you wouldnt believe me" bonby hung up the phone bc he had ither things to do.

Getting dressed i put on thigh high platform boots, a short black jean skirt, and a hoodie crop top with zipper in the middle and skull.hands on the front and the sleeves ripped down to my hands. I put on a chocker and black cross star earrings (a.n. if u dont know what.that is too bad, leave my story alone prepz xoxo) i put on black lipstick and black.eyeliner and pulled my bangs down to my eyes and shown the red streaks in my long raven hair.

Dean drives up in his shiny black 67 impala and when i get in i am happily shocked. Instead of the normal interior, he had painted the my chemical romance black parade album cover on the dash!! Maybe he is gothic after all, because when inlooked over to him he was wearing ripoed jeans, black nail polish, a chain necklace with black eyeliner on his green eyes and black boots. "Im surprised there is no Sam" i say gothicaly happy for it to be just him. He said and gloomily replied "Sam is busy being a nerd preo" i look at him confused. "Wym he is a nerd prep?? That's nor sam that's his weird gothelganger (a.n. get it?? Like doppelganger but goth?) Jared padeleski" "oh yeah, Sam is reading about werewolves and demons i forgot" i look concerned. "How could u forger about ur own brother??" He gothically says "i did a lot of cool weed before i picked you up, i brought some for you too" he stops and looks shyly under his combed forward banhs "if you would take some from me" i nod happily and.off we go.

"I hope you like good charlotte because that's.who we are seeing" i am so.happy, dean truly is emo now.

At the.concert we dance and laugh and make fun of that evil prep Hillary fucking duff. On our way back.he makes a stop ourside of the woods. "What r you doing???" I asked confused. He sighs and says "enoby, ibe known who you are for a while. Bobby told me all about you. I've lobed you for a while" i gasp "really!!!" "Really" he says gothifically. We get out and wander into the forest. He pins me against the wall. "Omg are we gonna do a sex" he laughs and smiles bwfore putting his thing in my thing and-

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

We stop and look up. It was.... Chuck? The weird guy? "Ur not supposed to be doing this dean! I have a headache" i look at him sadly, poor weird guy. Dean stops and says "chuck i know you wamt me but my heart belongs to enoby" chuck looks angry "no not you dean, her" i gasp. Dean looks angry "all this time i could have been with cas?" Chuck looks sad. "No the cw was too homophobic, you cant be balls deep in your angel. Not right now. You cant be balls deep in her either, she's mine" i stop. "Who even r u" i ask "i am god" i laugh at him. Dean looks at me and confirms. "Oh my god" i say deprezzedly. "No its chuck" says dean.

Suddenly Sam runs through the trees being chased by his gothelganger jared padaleski. Chuck gets angry and shoots the annoying guy. "Thank you" says same before he stops and says "chuck? stop trying to fucj my brother. When his gay love for cas reached through the veil of death and saved the day even though cas actually stayed dead.into superhell because of the evil cw it turned him gothic he's too goffic for you" chuck sighed and said "i know its not.him i want."

I stop and realize.that dean winchester and god are fighting over me. Same looks and says "wait, i hear someone else in the trees." As we all looked and waited and staired in comes... Bonby and.. Cas? But i thought cas was dead? Bonby speaks "here is the man who killed the cw sniper.. He has something to say" i look at him gothically "i am not your "cas" i am his gothelganger misha collins" i gasp. He says something about killing god and makes some metaphor about how he killed the cw sniper cw is god wharever i don't care but then.... Misha collins gave me a gun!! I wasn't.really listening to him, i was too busy thinking depressing thoughts and.i yell "im not killing dean u weirdo i lobe him!!!" Bonby looks at me and starts "you idjit" but then stops as one more person comes through the trees. It was jensen ankles!! "Jensen ankles??" Dean says "i don't want a gothelganger that.isn't goffic" Jensen replies "i will be soon, i need to reach through the veil of death for my own gay love" and he ... Shoots god??? "That's what i wanted you to do" mischa says before kissing jensen gothically depressedly i look and see dean looking jealous so i go and kiss him "im better than your gay angel anyway" and he agrees and then same and bonby are looking at each other depressedly and start clapping.

Prepz don't hate.on mah story okay??

#Destiel #cockles #balls deep destiel #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #ebony dark'ness dementia raven way #my immortal #my immortal parody #cw sniper #misha collins #tara gilesbie #dean winchester #jensen ankles #bobby singer #i have no excuse #this started as a one paragraph joke then evolved #good luck tumblr #once again i have no excuse #i live in fear of what i myself have created

[archivalofsins]

I'm so late but- I can't believe they just made Amane bad at math canon?!

This was inspired by a conversation I was having with a friend for the most part. Didn't want to get too carried away but love the subtle changes in the minigrams and how they play on the timelines.

That's a D, and even though that's an average percentage in Japan, there's a chance it's not meant to be read that way. Like it can still be average. Average grades are fine but like the difference between this and the timelibe interests Mr.

Because this Minigram comes directly off of the last one with Shidou. A minigram that they also took some creative liberties with for comedic reasons. Yet that one ended with Amane searching for a new teacher not going to find Kotoko like in the original timeline interaction,

20/06/13

Amane: ……what’s wrong, Shidou-san? Your hand has stopped marking. This is mathematics, so there’s no questions about the answers. If I got something wrong, please mark it with an X.

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad……

Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead.

Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

In the original timeline convo Shidou states the things he was thinking in the minigram aloud causing Amane to leave. In the Minigram Amane is just left baffled and confused as Shidou seems to fail to understand what her test even says and leaves on her own.

Like we said before, she doesn't state she's looking for Kotoko, just a teacher who seems capable. She immediately disregards Futa as an option. Something also done for comedic purposes.

So the test Amane gives Kotoko to grade in this Minigram is still the mathematics one. Unlike in the portal timeline when the interaction between her and Kotoko is several days after her one with Shidou,

20/06/18

Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this.

Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down. But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach.

Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that.

Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%. How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.

In contrast to the timelibe interactions that happeb a good bit away from each other, the Minigram is more meant to document her starting out bring tutored by Kotoko. Not her falling out with tutors like we see in the timeline. This right here is all about timing.

First, do you notice how in the minigram they stay away from the treat you like a child conversation entirely? Only focusing on how Kotoko likes ambitious people like Amane, the grades, and the need to improve them in this area. That's a stark difference from the original timeline.

Plus, notice how the timeline has Mikoto and Kazui there. Two people she asks for help at different points in the timeline. Well, more so take note of how this minigram uses Mikoto specifically. The Minigram uses him to emphasize and announce to everyone that right now, this isn't about language.

The topic that he and Amane excel in or have a good grasp of,

Q.01 What’s your speciality skill?

Amane: I don’t think I have a particular skill. Would studying count? I’m good at Japanese language.

It's about math. It's still about the math test from the previous Minigram. You know what's not the timeline interaction that takes place five days after she did that test and ended the conversation stating she was going to Kotoko. From how Kotoko and Amane are speaking in the June 18th timeline, it's implied she's been helping her for a minute. She's probably been helping her since what occurred on the 13th with Shidou.

Does anyone here think it would take Kotoko five days to grade a math test? No probably not. So she's more than likely grading a different exam all together.

I believe Kotoko's wording is important in this timeline. Because she says, "Even though you act like this, it's not like you're super brilliant at studying or anything, huh?"

What about the way Amane behaves would imply she'd be good at math or studying?

They even change this in the minigram instead having Kotoko state,

"How do I say this... For the way you act, you aren't a good student, are you..."

Along with the visual, which implies that Kotoko isn't just saying this based of Amane's grade but how Amane reacted to it. She wasn't surorised or upset in fact she seemed like she expected it.

In the timeline, while Kotoko still attempts to find the right words, she's more matter of fact. Even though it's still a question she flat out forgoes saying she's not a good student and states she's not brilliant at studying or anything. Just point blank you're not amazing at this.

If the thing she was discussing here was in fact Japanese language, the thing that Amane says she's good at. That would hurt a lot more than saying it about math something she doesn't state she's good at it. Plus it's be easy to assume she's excel at that based on how she speaks or being like that.

So yeah, that's why I think this is probably a case of two different things being graded. Not her grade being changed. I want to hope for a part three since she took note of what Mikoto said about being able to help with debate and discussion, but who knows.

#milgram #gunsli rambles #i'm on mobile formatting is so difficult

[komorezuki]

Time for crack theories. Has anyone already supposed that Metatron can be really the God themselves?

Disclaimer: no one hecked my English spelling today so there must be many mistakes. I 'd appreciate it if you point out my mistakes in dm. (￣▽￣人)

Where are your arguments Kmrzk, you can ask. Well, first, I thought about his nature and I think he is not an archon, he is something other. Let's look at his nature again: he was never a human, he is above all angels and is still missing in the employee database. He is the Voice of God. "To speak to me is to speak to God. I am the voice of the Almighty."

Ok it's curious but not enough. What if I can give some assumptions about his actions? What if it was Almighty's actions?

Final fiftheen

I don't believe he is evil. Can we assume that his conversation with Azicrow was a testing of them all? Almighty definitely knows all they both did, because this is, you know, ALMIGHTY. What does She like to do? TESTING. She is testing Her children, and She has the ineffable plan blablablabla. She gives free will to people to see what they will choose. The same is about Azicrow. She is just looking at what they will choose.

The trial

Metatron's conversation during the trial. Seems he is the boss there (he really is). I always thought why Gabriel cant decide, and I think he can and he knows it. I am the only First Order archangel,  I'm the only one in this department who has a degree in ass-kicking, I went to Ass-Kicking University and something something. Angels are testing him trying to frighten by the Fall, and he is like ok drop me and what's next? i am still saying nah. Even the threat of memory erasing can't make him change his mind. Testing is passed, I guess. Gabriel is free, and he will not be pursued.

Michael/Uriel

PROBABLY Almighty/Metatron (i will say "A/M" about they both in the future) also tests Michael and Uriel. At least their hunger of power. They fight for being in charge. And Michael treats Azi. Then A/M arrives and says "fuck you michael an fuck you uriel too you can't even do anything".

Of course, as an angel, Uriel worries about doing Good and Right Things. And A/M is like "we will see. Fuck off you all and by the way I am going to make this soft principality your boss, so deal with it. Let's look at what you will do". Archangel's testing goes on, and I am wondered if they will pass it.

Muriel

They are really an open-minded angel. All that you need is giving them knowledge. And that's what A/M does.

Conclusion

My opinion: M is either God's incarnation or an executor of God's will. He is associated with Sunday from the book "The Man Who Was Thursday" (@kayleefansposts thank you for this). Anyway, Almighty and M are on the same side, and M knows what he does. I think that the final goal of A/M's testing is pushing to the realization of the free will and making their own plans and decisions. That's what Gab did, that's what Azi has to do. That's what other angels can (or can't) do.

But where are demons here???

As you see, I didn't include demons in A/M's to-do list, and that's for the reason. Demons have already made their own decision and fall for that. They passed this test by default, and A/M literally says this about Crowley. Also notice that Saraqael isn't tested. Another argument in favor of my demon!Saraqael theory.

BONUS

M ingested things in his time, but he wasn't a human. What if we consider M as God's avatar? That happened at once, you know, there was a guy who said like "love each other" and so on. By the way, he promised to come back. And that's what M is preparing. The Second Coming is started by Jesus 2.0. Do what you want with it.

#what if #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #good omens demons #aziracrow #crowley #good omens meta #good omens heaven #good omens theory #good omens theories #good omens speculation #metatron good omens #the metatron #the final fiftheen #archangel fucking aziraphale #archangel fucking gabriel #archangel gabriel #archangel uriel #archangel michael #good omens analysis #go meta #go2 meta #good omens angels

[williamy3w]

Hi again, guys!

Henry - here's a log of all the conversations we've had with you. We reached you through a web page that might not be safe for you right now, because it's been partially taken over by the people you tried to unpick (you guys know who I mean).

When we found you, it seemed like you were disillusioned with some things, and you felt unhappy, and you didn't want anyone to see you this way, but, well, we kind of stumbled into your hiding place and started asking questions. But you got better! In the last transmissions we got from you before The Incident, you were talking about feeling and wanting things again, and you were excited to see Will (you knew that he was coming!).

There isn't anything bad in these logs, you were really nice to us (especially considering that we just kinda showed up), but you did say some things that sounded pretty personal, so it's up to you whether to read/listen to those together with Will or by yourself.

(https://docs.google.com/document/d/1esgGK07Qeq0YDom_aj_qQCxuuG6W0_4gxgpq7jncT-k/edit?usp=sharing)

Thanks for sharin'! Darling, I won't look at a thing unless you want me to. I understand it's your own personal beeswax!

lemme take a look. so i didn't say anything too embarrassing huh.... nah, you can take a listen. might make you sad, though. i was not doing well at all.

you all were very nice, though. sorry for forgetting. i wish i hadn't. i don't know. i didn't like going through that when i was in it, but i guess being here i was worried because i wasn't perfectly happy. like sometimes i just sit and look at your little icons. or i listen to the little bits of static between your questions. and i felt bad because um, well, i've gotten something i've wanted for a long time. why can't i be perfectly happy?

but there's something nice about knowing i felt like that even when i was barely holding on to a little bit of consciousness. i think it's just part of me.

and that maybe i'm just like this. it's nothing wrong with will or where i am or what i'm doing.

it's like one of you folks said. actually feeling pain and negative emotions kind of lets you start feeling the positive ones as well. you were all so smart, and so kind to me. as much as you were strangers to me, i was also a stranger to you. and you didn't have to help me or care about me. so thank you.

Well, that was a ride, but I'm glad you're safe here with me, handsome. And for what it's worth, I figure it ain't possible for anyone to be perfectly happy, even me!

i love you. and you're right, i bet. i mean, what else would there be to do then?

I love you too, darlin'!

#henry #William #en abime

[zaacoy]

Also i just saw the request thingamagik, can i request

Some child!mk with dadsy and tangdad, like them being wholesome and stuff, maybe a lil pigsy angst abt not being a good dad and tang looks at him and holds the most speech ever abt how hes the best person tang knows

and pigsy realizes right there and then "omg i love this fugging idiot holy shit" cause omg theyre family, theyre family af look at how good they can be as a family

Ask and it shall be delivered :3 saw your other message too btw!! Thank you!!! Ur so nice!!! Can't believe Lego made gay people real wowow

Bit of a long one, hope this matches what you were looking for, enjoy! :D

#heeheehoo >:3c #They are so real to me #Kind of a late response but you can probably see why #Thank u for asking!!! Much fun much much fun #Crossposting this on twt hopefully that goes okay #They're both around their early-mid 20s here #Lmk confirmed that pigsy didn't have facial hair anymore by the time mk came around but they DIDN'T say anything about Tang's hair #So it's definitely still canonically long at this time yep yessiree I am not delusional tang Lego monkie kid told me himself #Praying all of you can somehow read my disheveled handwriting pleeeeease please please #freenoodleshipping #lmk freenoodles #tang lmk #pigsy lmk #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #Lmk #baby mk #Tangdad #Dadsy #They're both parental wrecks #Not that they're ~bad~ at it persay: just neither of them were prepared for the responsibility of taking care of an actual child #But they manage :3 #I had more things I wanted to say about this but I kinda forgor to be honest #I have more dadsy tangdad and baby mk thoughts in mind this isn't the last you'll see of them from me!! heeheehoo #Zaacoy art💫

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

.

#tw suicide #no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family. #puddleglum hours #personal #its just i was thinking. #tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night. #and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed. #they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just. #what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here. #but i don't want to. i need them to save me #because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in #hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then. #at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me! #but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always. #i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way. #hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think. #because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters #and sometimes i just want to die. #im so tired of living guys. why #editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there #so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least

[birdmenmanga]

@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

#just thinking thoughts... #stray bird thoughts #so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good #I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am #OH #I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT. #YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!! #A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized. #it was written for the people they would become. #and I stand by that 100% #if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet #and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor #like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things' #but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever' #which she clearly isn't. #I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day #and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring' #(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.) #and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15 #like WHAT is she going on about? ? ? #like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm #but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know. #like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed. #the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know #but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage #recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it. #there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight. #it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most. #cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[uselessnbee]

sometimes i feel so petty i want to make a big post about all the times Will and El weren't that great towards Mike just to ..you know.. balance it out a bit

#it's always here's all the times Mike hurt Will and El's feelings and never here's all the times Will and El hurt Mike's feelings #it's so unfair like i saw people hating Mike over fucking MILKSHAKES because they just had to find a reason to hate him it's so stupid #if i went on here and started hating on Will and El for not laughing at Mike's vomit green joke cause it made him sad yall would call me #absolutely crazy and delusional like be fucking for real Mike just breathes wrong in Will's or El's direction and he's the devil himself #but Will and El could literally call Mike a slur to his face and yall would be like hE dESeRvEd iT tHeY DiDnT dO aNyThiNG wRoNG like fr #there are so many small times when Mike tried to get Will's attention like the vomit green joke or the they're conspiring against me moment #and everyone always just laughs how Mike is a loser trying to get their attention but they always just ignore him or whatever but if it was #reversed? if it was Will trying to get Mike's attention only for Mike to either ignore him or yell in his face how it's stupid to be #concerned about something so small? oh yall would go ballistic suddenly yall wouldn't care how small these things are suddenly you would #want Mike fucking dead but when it's the other way around it's just funny and embarassing for Mike? and not just small things like this #when we point out how El invalidated his feelings and dismissed his bullying everyone is like oh she didn't mean that she meant it like #this she meant it like that she said it because of this and that and the situation is like this so this is why she said that #and blah blah blah she didn't do anything wrong but when it comes to Mike suddenly it doesnt matter if he meant it differently or if it was #the situation and messy feelings making him say something hurtful no he's just an asshole oh i am cursing you all #i hope you step on lego every day and your favorite snack is always sold out in every shop i hope every cat you try to call will ignore you #or hiss at you i am so tired of the double standards when it comes to Mike and willel i am so angry #mike wheeler #mike wheeler protection squad #blue's 'mike's extreme defender' ramblings #i got a little carried away in the tags but i'm not sorry i said what i said #and idc if i get hate for it cause i'm right anyways