#'i see...Well...You wont have to that anymore ill make sure you dont'

[miikapie]

"Its not gonna fit!" with Geto, Choso, Toji and Gojo! (NSFW)

Just posting this because ive been thinking about writing it for weeks. Enjoy this tiny drabble while I stress over college!

Cw:.. fem!reader x various jjk men, they're mean :(( (toji, gojo too kinda..), choso being too sweet, cunilingus (choso), bad grammar ofcourse, SEX SMASHING INTERCOURSE BABY MAKING FUCKING MAKING LOVE i hope you get the point.

/MDNI//NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!

Gojo is so mean to you. If you say absolutely anything related to his size, or not being able to accommodate to his girth, hes seizing the opportunity to brag and belittle you while doing so.

"Awh baby.. it can't fit? hmm? Is my cock too big? Its okay, cutie, I know I know.. Maybe we just need to pay attention to your little clit, and we'll stretch you out too yeah? Im gonna make sure your little cunt remembers every single one of my veins no matter how long it takes to get in aallllll the way."

Geto (sighs dreamily) I LOVE THIS MAN. Totally much nicer than Gojo, but unintentionally mind-breaks you. His voice btw is so sexy can you imagine how husky it is duirng the deed??? drooling rn.

"Oh, what was that? It wont fit, hm? Thats okay, love. We'll find our way around it. Just gotta stretch you out some more so i can hit that spot you love so much, mhm? Right there isnt it? Yeah, I can tell with the way you're tightening around me. Or what about this? Maybe I'll touch your clit a little more. God... I love seeing you like this. Thats a good girl.. lay down juuust like that. You dont need to think for yourself anymore when I've got you."

Toji is SO mean, and incredibly cocky. Despite knowing damn well he's way too big to bottom out immediately in you, he takes this opportunity be snarky fun of you while destroying your insides.

" 's too big? We'll make it fit, doll. Stop moving like that, you know its just gonna hurt more. Give it a few minutes and you'll be crying like a bitch in heat. Fine. I'll be nice i guess, but im still going all the way in. 's not my fault your pussy's too damn tight. Fuck.. so good.. Yeah, see? Told you you could take it, wipe those tears 'fa me and keep your legs up here on my shoulders, yeah?"

Nanami... ah. He tries so so hard to be nice to you, by slowly bullying his way in your walls, but no matter how many times you do the deed it seems like you can never keep up with his size

"Too much, honey? Its okay, sweetheart. Look, I'll put a pillow just under your back here.. and it'll make you feel much better. Whats that? Feels nicer now? Ill take it slow as always honey, just take your deep breaths... God.. you're always so tight... It feels nice when I touch you right here doesn't it?..Feels deeper? Yes, love, thats the pillow under your back helping you relax. We're gonna have to use that trick next time wont we? Thats it, sweet thing, see? Im almost bottomed out and you haven't even noticed at all."

Choso is too much of a sensitive lover to even think about ever possibly pushing your boundaries. If he ever heard you say anything along the lines of 'too big' he'd pull out immediately and instead eat you out as an apology. (even though you've told him its just something you said in the heat of the moment) (he still leaves you shaking tho.)

#toji x reader #choso x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #nanami x reader #jjk smut #im in kahoots for geto rn. #going through my geto phase #(its not a phase.)

[suffarustuffaru]

why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

#this is an impromptu ramble post i made again while taking a break from homework alsjdflsd but yeah ive been seeing people Still being #confused about this over on reddit so i felt like typing smth up about it just to try and figure this topic out!!! bc you think the emilia #camp would be voting up like roswaal as their most dangerous member right??? but no!! its canonically otto!! which is very fascinating hah. #and it genuinely doesnt make sense at first until you think about it for. a While. #re:zero #rezero #arc 8 spoilers #otto suwen #natsuki subaru #roswaal l mathers #did i write this just for that last line of this post?? maybe....

[versadies]

hi

sorry for the long silence! so many things have happened (nothing too serious), which led to my motivation being completely gone and after so many weeks, im finally admitting that its been affecting me and my health lately.

unfortunately, i wont be online for another week due to my dog of 8 years passing away recently, which reached my breaking point. id like to take a break and take some time for myself and grieve for my precious best friend without focusing on school as well as the stress of finishing evermore and other fics :,)

to all evermore readers who are still waiting, i apologize for the long wait of chapter 15 once again. i cant guarantee that ill be able to post it anymore since im still not confident with it and how i cant get a grip of anything, so i hope you understand.

overall, i just want some time to get my shit together and fix my health as well as take a breath. thank you for your understanding, ill make sure ill be back in a week when im okay <3

p.s. dont worry im not giving up on fanfiction, my passion for writing is still strong as well as my love for genshin 💞 im only taking a break just to take time for myself.

thank you once again, but for now, ill see you next week. have a good day, my dearest comrades 🫶 — dan xoxo

navigation

#— ( dan’s tea session 🍶 )

[bitchyglitterfox]

Full Moon - Wolf!Peter x F!Reader

Warnings: injuries, chase scene, wolves

“I had a lot of fun tonight, thank you for taking me out” I say while Peter and I walk through the woods, hand in hand.

“I’d do anything for you, as long as you are happy. hey why don't we cut through here? Its a short cut that will get us to the car faster” he says while tugging me along gently kissing my hand.

“Are you sure we wont get lost? I don't want to have to spend the night in the woods”

“You trust me right?”

I shake my head yes while looking up at him with love in my eyes.

“Then trust that i know these woods like the back of my hand, we wont I promise”

We continue our small walk, talking about everything under the moon, we almost pass a beautiful clearing of wild flowers but I stop him, pulling him into the clearing with me.

“Lets take some pictures in this beautiful place, that way we can come back in the day time and maybe have a future date here.” I say while my back is towards the meadow. I’m about to pull my phone out of my pocket, a deep voice stops me.

“Well if it isn't Tony’s little mutt, oh and he brought a little plaything along. This will be fun” He says snarling his teeth. His eyes are a bright golden color with swirls of black in them, his teeth are sharp almost like a wolves teeth an he had sharp claws where his fingernails should be. Fear rises in my body, my feet dont want to move but Peter pulls me behind him.

“What do you want Eddie, we told your leader you aren't allowed in our area anymore, not after that youngling of yours caused a havoic.” Peter snarled.

“Yes, well we never got your punishment for hurting one of ours. I bet that little play thing of yours would make a wonderful addition to ours, give her to me and all will be forgiven. She smells so good. How could you keep her all to yourself? Oh I know, shes your mate, isn't she? ” he says smirking and walking towards us.

“What. Peter, what is he? What does he mean I’m your mate?” I ask eyes wide, fear coursing through my body.

“Y/n, when i say run, you run. You don't look back, even if you hear horrible sounds you keep running. Ill find you. I promise” he whispers to me.

“What about you? I wont leave you”

“Dont worry about me, just do as I say. Ill be fine, now run!”

The second the word leaves his mouth i begin sprinting deeper into the woods, thank god i worn converse. I hear tearing and growling, but i don't look back.

Running in the dark is difficult but running in the woods, while it's dark, is challenging. I feel a branch rub against my cheeks, little cuts are formed on my arms as I block the branches from hitting them on my face. I try to pull my phone out to give me some light. This distraction causes me to not see the root sticking out of the ground. I trip over it, landing on my ankle weirdly and hitting my head on the tree trunk.

“Fuck,” i moan as I touch my head. I try and stand but a shooting pain comes up my leg. I pull myself to a sitting position and lean against the tree trunk, i had hit my head against. Panic sets into me as i try to find my phone but it is no where near me.

“Shit, Peter, please be ok. I knew i shouldn't have left him. What the fuck was that guy? Why were his eyes like that? How did he know Peter? Who was Tony? Tony Stark?” All the questions swirled through my head as I sat there catching my breath and waiting for the pain in my ankle to stop.

A noise from the distance pulls me from my thoughts, my heart races.

“Shit, this is how I die. Alone, injured, and without Peter” I stare into the darkness as a rather large chocolate brown wolf walks out. The wolf is beautiful, there's this feeling of calm and safety that washes over me when we make eye contact. The wolf walks straight up to me and breathes in my face. I lean up to pet its head, his fur is soft, he smells like the forest, kinda how Peter smells. I stand up but wince, causing the wolf to whimper.

“Can you get me to help?” I ask while standing and leaning against the tree.

As if it can understand me it lowers its head signalling me to get on his back. I mount it and grip onto its fur. I lean my head against it’s back, so i don't get anymore scratches on my face as well as not getting motion sickness due to the speed it runs. We travel deeper into the forest, past the meadow where the danger began.

Minutes later we arrive at a different clearing, this one has a huge compound. It is at least 3 stories tall. It's white with windows adoring the walls. It's sleek and modern. It was the only building within the rather larger meadow. The brown wolf lets out a low pitched howl, the sound making my ear perk up due to the pretty sound, almost like music. Moments later a rather good looking, older man walked out of the house. He gives me an angered look, his eyes show golden specs before quickly going back to a natural brown. I stay put on the wolf's back not trusting the stranger.

Soon another man comes out, he's brunette and has a soft smile.

“You’re Y/n right? Peter here talks about you all the time” he says looking up at me while removing his glasses.

“How do I know I can trust you guys, the last time I met a stranger just a few seconds ago he almost took me.” I say staring the two down.

“Well, we're Peters family, my name is Bruce and the grumpy man in front is Tony Stark” he says, “You are safe with us”

Skeptical still, I gently slid off the wolf’s back and into Bruce's awaiting arms. He places his hands on my waist to steady me while I lift my injured ankle. The wolf turns towards us and growls, this causes Bruce to move his hands from my waist.

“Sorry” Bruce puts my right arm around his shoulder.

“Let's get you inside so that I can look at your ankle” he says as we begin the slow walk inside. I turn my head and see the brown wolf walk into the woods once more followed by Tony who was giving me the angered look.

“So, Y/n what happened that caused you to injure your ankle?” Bruce asks while leading me to a couch in front of a fire.

“Well, Peter and I had just been on a date, we walked through the forest. I found a meadow and this guy who knew Peter, threatened him and Peter told me to run. I did and I was so scared, I tried using my flashlight on my phone, instead I tripped over a root I didn't see and injured my ankle, while also hitting my head on a tree," I say all in one breath.

Four more people come in and scatter around the room, one of them coming over to me.

“Hello, my name is Wanda” she says smiling as Bruce gently takes my right foot in his hands, he begins to take off my shoe and only then do I notice how swollen it is. I wince when he runs his finger over it.

“Good news is it isn't broken, now let me see your head.” I lower my head so he can take a look at it as well, “alright there’s a small bump but you should be fine. Clint can you go grab packs of ice for her ankle and head” he smiles at me. Clint comes back and hands me the ice packs with a smile on his face.

“Hi, my name is Clint, it is very nice to finally meet you Y/n.” a man who has the personality of a golden retriever introduces himself to me.

“Im Bucky, it's good to put a face to the name finally” a man with a metal arm smiles warmly.

Just as I'm about to reply to them Peter and Tony from earlier come walking in.

“Y/n, are you ok?” he says kneeling in front of me and placing my face in his hands, only then do i notice the cuts and torn clothes.

“I’m fine but what about you? I should have stayed with you”

“No, i’m glad you did as i told you. Look Y/n there’s something I need to tell you about me, the real me.” he says while sitting next to me on the couch, “All those fairytales you grew up with, werewolves, vampires, fairies, sirens, mermaids. They're all real and I am one of them. We are one of them. We are werewolves. This is my pack, we call ourselves the Avengers”

“So that means that big brown wolf that brought me here was you right? Also why did he give me a dirty look” I say looking at Tony who is at his bar pouring himself a drink.

“Yes that was me, also tony is weary of humans knowing about us, but I assured him that you could be trusted.”

“Ok, this is great, um so about that guy who almost kidnapped me, what happened to him?”

“We took care of him, he went back to his pack with his tail between his legs, you however need to keep this secret between the nine of us from now on.” Tony says while walking towards me, “i'm trusting you because you are Peter’s mate, which means you are also a part of this family.”

I look towards Peter, a blush creeping its way onto my face. I smiled at him, “So I'm your mate huh?”

“Yes, ever since i saw you in the cafe, Y/n I love you” he says while rubbing his thumb across my cheek.

“I love you too, Peter but what if they want to retaliate again?” I say looking towards Tony.

“Well we’re ready and waiting, why don't you stay here for the night? The guys can bring your car here.” he says.

“Come on i'll take you to my room,” Peter says while standing and picking me up bridal style.

“You know love is strange, messy and complicated. I hear its that way, even if you arent dating a werewolf.” I say while kissing his cheek

A/n: yall getting fed tonight! 3rd post of the day/night hehe

#bitchyglitterfox writes #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel studios #werewolf!Peter Parker x Reader #peter parker x reader #werewolf!Avengers x reader #werewolf au #avengers x reader #avengers

[toodrasticallydumb]

20 questions for fic writers

Oh! Hello! I was tagged by @pinkytoothlesso11 ! Thanks for thinking of me pinky! I’m kinda new to the whole fanfic scene so i really appreciate it! This was already a long list of questions to begin with but i fear i may have made it worse…

OH WELL HAVE FUN SPORT :}>

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Unfortunately just 2, though I do plan to add a few more in the future as ideas flow. Might take me a minute ‘cause my schedule is just a little bit kinda sorta really swamped down with my main child which requires let me you, A LOT OF CARE DONT SIGN UP TO ADOPT KIDS PEOPLE IT’S NOT—

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Phew. ummmm it changes very rapidly (because i’m a girl w suspected adhd and can NEVER be told to shut up) with every chapter but as of this moment is 228,665! wow! i don’t really know how great of a number that is but i’m sure it’s a lot! I told you I can never shut up! (-whispers- Hey kid, u want some dRuGs? i mean- an update? That itty bitty word count is about to take another not regularly scheduled mini-skyrocket so get ready for it ehehe ;})

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For now, just Trollhunters/Tales of Arcadia, mainly Trollhunters despite the fact that the first of the Tales of Arcadia shows that i watched and really enjoyed was actually 3-Below, but oh well my man is in Trollhunters sooooo oopsie but i DO have some random snippets of fics for Miraculous (rewrite), the Star Wars sequels (rewrite), Batman, some for the Dream SMP, and weirdly enough also Raya and the Last Dragon (rewrite). All of which i prolly wont ever post because i wrote them a while ago and yeaaaahhh not my best writing but if i get enough people other than my best friend wanting me to post them, i might…

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

uhhhh i dont actually HAVE five fics to my name, so i’ll just…put em in order (w their long-ahh title names):

Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen

'A MiStAkE' because I haven't updated in ages--A Stricklake month 2023 prompt collection

but i am so happy for the people who have left so many kudos on my work it really warms mah little heart ❤️

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. At first, I sorta struggled with it (who the heck am i kidding i STILL do) but since my fic USED to be two times a week updates i would feel like i couldn’t respond to a comment left after i posted a new chapter so i might’ve left some comments in the earlier days unanswered, super sorry. Nowadays i make it a point to reply back to everyone in the order that they commented in because (anxiety makes me think if i don’t respond they won’t comment anymore and know that i love reading their comments and that they’re so amazing for actually taking the time to write something back AND I DO LOVE IT I PROMISE IT JUST TAKES ME A WHILE TO RESPOND—) …because it’s pretty chill to geek out w em and see they liked stuff that i loved to write! I do have a backlog of comments to get to i just end up overthinking everything to match the person’s energy to be sure they know i love em.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Unfortunately, i haven’t actually finished a fully-fledged fic to say it has the angstiest ending bUt definitely a contender would be chapter 1 of my 2023 Stricklake prompt collection because i just leave it on the sad note and don’t do anything about it because angst and because spoilers for my actual story fic that will eventually make it to that point.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending, huh? I like to say that most of the things i will/have chosen to write end happy/hopeful because i hate when books/tv shows end bittersweetly it’s like i have enough with life itself being bittersweet most of the time let me be happy LET THEM BE HAPPY. But that doesn’t exclude me from providing the proper banquet of angst that ends in caretaking, my absolute favorite trope.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Oh heck no. I would be devastated honestly, but thankfully everyone who comments is always the sweetest and kindest people ever and really encourage me to keep going, for that i am only thankful.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. Just no. I love romance but i am a minor, so i’ve never consumed smut nor intend to ever write it. Give me a soft romance and loving gestures, I can allude to greater happenings but not details.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don’t, sorry. I don’t know something in me just doesn’t sit well with crossovers, for the life of me I don’t know why. Like genuinely i wish i could get into them but maybe it’s like food on a plate? i don’t like the foods touching each other so maybe the same rules apply??? yeah i’m drasticallydumb

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of, no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so, and if someone did they’re in for a heck of a lot of work there…

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I’d like to sometime but i have no idea how one even goes about making a co-written fic, on top of which i am a very sporadic person in terms of motivation and random ideas produced by a song i’m listening to while writing.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Stricklake obviously is a really big contender if not the winner, the ship that brought me to AO3, writing fanfics, and tumblr. But, if i had to pick other options i’d say Eugene and Repunzel from Tangled would be one of my ogs, another might be uhhh Chris and Aviva from Wild Kratts the og of the ogs.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Chapter 3 of my stricklake 2023 prompt collection, it just has a lot of moving parts and me and my best friend are chronic procrastinators and with the month pretty far gone it might just end up sittin’ there for the foreseeable future 😞 but who knows

16. What are your writing strengths?

Phew, that’s a dozy mainly because i’m not super sure. I’d like to think one of my main strengths is descriptions and really putting you in the mind of the character, i don’t really like spelling things out and i like a little investigating to get you where u end up, u know? I like to think my writing FEELS a little more like a show on a page rather than a true book, most to blame would be my maladaptive daydreaming taking up a lot of time in my planning for my writing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ah. How the turn tables. I would say that my weaknesses in writing mostly consist of me going a little *too* far into detail on meaningless things or making it too convoluted for people to understand, sometimes spelling it out is better in certain scenarios and i just really need to get myself past that. Another one i would say is that i go REALLY into detail not only in a sentence/chapter sense but also a complete STORYLINE sense, i hate time skips and i shoot myself in the foot wanting to completely document every moment of everyday w a character and hence it seems like a lot of time in universe hasn’t gone by. Trying to improve and grow tho 💪

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Can’t wait to do more of it! Especially with Claire and her family (including NotEnrique) speaking spanglish w each other automatically mainly because i am hispanic and completely fluent in Spanish and live in a similar household so i just love to add a little ✨personalization✨ to my dialogue and interactions in that way. Other languages………….yeaaaahhh i’m not super good will prolly use google translate and hope.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Trollhunters, my gateway into AO3. HOWEVER. if you promise not to tell, the very first fandom i read/wanted to write a fanfic for was actually, as far as i can tell, Wordgirl. don’t ask why. don’t ask me how. it just kinda happened. But, officially, it’s Trollhunters. (maybe with a side of Warrior Cats).

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Not hard at all! My pride and joy, my youngest baby in the grand scheme of my writing journey, Trollhunter!Strickler: Destiny's Ill-fitted Chosen! A surprise to absolutely NO ONE. It’s honestly so amazing to both write and see people read and enjoy as much as I do, he’s my little man ❤️ And doing so much rewriting and character growth and having so much written and planned for the future, it’s just my absolute fav

#toa trollhunters #barbara lake #stricklake #strickler #toa #long post #trollhunters #fanfic #Destiny’s Ill-fitted Chosen #stricklake month #questions #tagged #ao3 #tales of arcadia #ask answers #ask games #fan fiction #writing games #yeaaaaahhhhh i may have made this way to long #but you get to know me so hopefully it’s worth it! :}}} #love to get to know everyone else who responds to pinky’s tag too #i am about to make my great return to posting mildly often on tumblr #i think #i hope. #or maybe this is one of those outbursts that happens once a blue moon and then i disappear of the face of the earth #gotta keep y’all on ya toes.

[lowlaif]

Konpeito

never seen a star up close.

kinda wanna eat one.

and no, not one of those starlets hanging out in ridiculously overpriced LA villas - now finally available in "sustainable" minus an ecological footprint rivaling the size of their range rovers. the owner will fly in from two towns over so they get there early for their yearly yacht trip and ill activate adblock so palantir cant pester me with 50-euro airline ads to the maldives because shit, money is going to be a bit tight this month

i want to eat a star. actual heaps of gas and space dust and heat and whatdoiknow, im not a scientist, id rather not belie my words by googling the exact chemical configuration of something thats just bright and pacifying to me, something thatll melt on my tongue. 'm not even gonna chew. just gonna swallow it. the way i ate chocolate as a kid because relishing in something meant enough time for it to be taken away. the way i drink medicine because - if you gulp it down really quickly, it doesnt have time to taste bitter: anything can be honeyed milk if you clench your teeth hard enough

did you know thats what galaxy means anyway? milk? i wonder what galactical honey would be, then. whether id think its sweet or spicy, whether id like the taste or want to spit it out. if itd go down with well-rounded corners or lodge itself into my throat and stay there. fishbones. i also wonder whether astronauts ever feel scammed when they set foot on the ISS and realize theyre not going to bear witness to a sky made out of sparkling lights and silver threads and golden spots and rainbow clouds but rather just a sea so inky black it's going to make breathing difficult not just by lack of oxygen alone. earths much too reflective for any other luminescent object to be visible to the naked eye, ive been told, hence why youd just be looking at a planet so bright it surely hurts to stare at it, and i wonder what it feels like, being up there and gazing down only to be blinded when youre so used to looking up and squinting?

im homesick thinking of kids drawing earth into the upper right corner of their drawings. i dont actually know if theres stars up there though everybody tells me those pinprick lights are, and i cant breathe when im busy trying to figure out what exact level of depression the stale air around me tastes like. but something in my brain clicks when i think of shiny things and theres no empirical evidence that grabbing the sparkly stuff up above my head wont cure me so i want to, i want to, i want to. wanting always boils down to sinking your teeth into it and ive filed my canines far too often to fear the force of my bite now

people dance on the moon and i mimic their steps in my bedroom and though these are just small steps i dont know the names of the poor sods stuck on the ISS either, even though there's only been like 500 of them and they're all way better at living life than i am. my hands ghost over where i instinctively know the light switches of my flat are and wonder if up there somebody's got a nightlight, cheap plastic stars attached to their ceilings, one of those little projectors that put constellations on your walls. whether they ever have trouble sleeping and if yes, what the hell do they look up at then? who do they cast their wishes to?

never seen a star up close. never held one. but the concept is so familiar, so ingrained into whatever our shared consciousness is made out of, that i want with my molars. i itch to keep it in my tummy so it keeps me warm on the cold days and i only trust what i see so i want to look at it until my retinas burn, until the sound of the big bang echos in the confines of my brain. itll drown out all other unwanted thoughts and itll sing in the genetic make-up of my descendants long after my neighbours cant hear me sing in the shower anymore. ill cup my palms and pray into them. begging is easier when youre in position and im on my knees and i swear ill never run out of things to whisper to the radiant little ember in my hands because it is beautiful and because i like shiny things and because stars have always made us look up at them and

When I finally get my teeth on it and swallow it whole I'm sure a piece of the star will get lodged in my throat like. fishbones. in a last-ditch effort at vengeance. I'll spend the rest of my life attempting to choke it back up.

"I made it with love," I'll say after I finally managed to do so.

"Careful, it's hot."

#spilled ink #spilled thoughts #poetry #words #musings

[grink]

ive had a lot of feelings lately so here are some notes for people that i dont wanna send them.

you wont read this, and thats okay. you dont know when you took me to that stupid park it was the last time i ever saw the stars, and the first time in years. seeing this disgusting city from far away almost made it look pretty. i wanted to cry but we just talked about video games. your car is iconic.

you also wont read this, and thats okay. i think we might be polar opposites. every time i talk to you i learn something. thanks for taking me out that one time, i was really out of my comfort zone, and im sure you could tell. but i was so happy to be there. if not a bit embarrassed. your friends are adorable and i love watching you interact with them.

you definitely wont read this, but ill tell you soon okay? i want to help you out, whenever i can. you dont know me so well anymore, but every day im more like you. every day i think about you. i dont always reach out, ive kept so many secrets, and im sorry. i didnt know how lucky i was. im definitely the weirder daughter but i hope im something you can be proud of.

you might read this, honestly im not sure. i really hope you can just tell how important you are to me, cuz i dont think i could say with words. you coming into my life is some kind of stupid luck like those people who get struck by lightning 3 times. i feel like ive known you forever and i dont even know how we met. i have a little collection of your stuff on my table but if you think its weird im keeping your old bus tickets then ill get rid of them (or just hide them better).

you wont read this, theres no way. i still have the foot bath and no one ever asks me about it. i don't think its ever left its box. i dont even remember how you got it, i think it was a gift from your sister? my life and yours could not be more different but im really happy we crossed paths for a bit. ill probably never know, but i hope youre somewhere you can be happy.

you might read this, im not sure, i think either way is alright with me. i really miss our friendship. i dont want it back, because it wouldnt be the same, but i do miss it. it's hard to believe i used to look up to you so much. i think i want to be out of your life forever, but i hope you fill the space with good things.

you might read this, but thats okay its nothing you dont know. whenever i hang out with anyone and they catch me cackling at my phone, they always ask me "what did ______ say?" they already know it was you. weve invented enough words to make a language. youve supported me through so much and i only hope i can do the same for you.

you may read this too, and im a bit scared of that but i think its okay with me. im acting normal as best i can but im sure you can see things probably wont be normal for a while. in another life youre my best friend. in this one, it might be a little weird now, but i dont wanna let you go. in so many ways you're different than anyone else i know, and im sorry for pushing you away, but i hope you understand where im coming from.

i think you'll see this but i wouldn't blame you for not getting this far. we dont talk as much anymore as we used to, but youre still one of my best friends. i still have rocks and a lighter that you left here, you probably dont miss them at all but they make me happy to look at.

you probably wont see this, but if you do thats totally cool. im sorry we dont see each other so much these days. i know it was a hard time in your life for other reasons, so you probably dont miss it so much, but i miss when you were here a lot, i have some really good memories from that time, it mightve been the first time i really felt like myself in this city.

i love you all

[quodekash]

ah frick, i forgot what i was doing again and got distracted for half an hour finding out how many languages have the word for orange the fruit and orange the colour as the same thing, and it turns out most of them do and i think thats really stupid

WAIT APPARENTLY ITS BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF SINCE I POSTED LAST?? WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING, I GENUINELY DONT REMEMBER

welp, either way, time to continue. i probably wont finish today

ENGLISH JUMPSCARE, JEEZ, I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THAT "good morning"

you spent half of it lost in a forest, but sure. whatever you say buddy

kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss. kiss.

HES SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

FHJEWKBSDG THE STICKY NOTES

BRB IMMA CRY REAL QUICK

THE FACE

THE FACE

THE SMILEY FACE

THE PRAN SMILEY FACE

AAAAAAAAA

AND THE WAY THEY KEEP SMILING AT EACH OTHER???

I AM DECEASED. DEAD. GONE.

I AM KICKING MY FEET AND SMILING AND CRYING AND DYING AND AAAAAAA

THEY FISTBUMPED

THEY FISTBUMPED

THYE FISTBUMPED

GIEJRHNGDSOJVBENRPDOIKGNL

YOURE KIDDING

this is the end of me. thats it.

im writing p'aof into my will

someone play Our Song at my funeral

imma head out and die rn

see y'all in hell

OH EW I SAID Y'ALL, NEVER MIND IM COMING BACK, NOT DYING TODAY, I NOW REGRET EVERYTHING IVE EVER DONE

AAAAAAAAAAA

THEYRE BOTH JUST SO PRETTY AND SO PRECIOUS AND I WOULD DIE FOR THEM

PFFFT

my favourite thing is the fact that (if my memory serves me correctly) patpran never actually told phutian that theyre dating, but it was like as soon as they stepped foot into the village their gaydars went off and they just immediately k n e w, and i love it so much

theyre just such dads

HHHHHHH

GUEORJBDG

THEYD BETTER FREAKING COME BACK

THERES NO WAY THEY JUST LEAVE ALL OF THIS BEHIND

THEY DEFINITELY COME BACK EVERY SO OFTEN, COMPLETELY UNANNOUNCED, BECAUSE I SAID SO

AFTER PRAN GOES TO SINGAPORE, WHEN HE COMES BACK ONCE A YEAR THEY GO TO THE VILLAGE FOR A BIT

MAYBE SOMETIMES PAT GETS LONELY WHILE PRAN'S GONE AND HE GOES TO THE VILLAGE FOR A FEW DAYS AND HANGS OUT WITH THE KIDS OR SOMETHING

I CANT TAKE IT IF THEY JUST DONT COME BACK SO THIS STUFF IS CANON NOW I DECIDED

KAMPUNG

MY FAVOURITE CHILD

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

HIS NAO NONG DOLL EYE MASK???

DAMN OKAY THEN

YES

PLEASE DO

"think of this place as your home. you're always welcome here." YES. GOOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ITS NOT THE END OF THE JOURNEY

THEYRE COMING BACK AND THATS FINAL

THEY. ARE. DADS.

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY????

they're gonna fu-

they're definitely gonna fu-

AND THEY SAID "OF COURSE"

THERE IS HOPEEE

well duh, of course he did

(there's this one tiktok i saw of a clip, and it has been the main driving force for me to finally watch this, (alongside wanting to finish before my friend), and the clip wouldnt have happened if phu didn't sign it)

NO BUT SERIOUSLY

WATCH IT

I HAVE WATCHED THIS ON REPEAT SO MANY TIMES THAT I DONT KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE

PFFFFTBAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS IS SO FUNNY OMG

THEYRE SUCH HUSBANDS AND BOYFRIENDS AND DADS I LOVE THEM

PLS ITS SO FUNNY

it honestly looks kinda like a horror film or smth

i just love them so much

you guys have literally had sex before, what do you mean a "closer look"

bro hes probably licked those abs before, what are you doing

PLS-

LIKE YOU'RE ANY BETTER?

I JUST LOVE MY DADS SO MUCH

ah frick im out of images again

IM TWELVE MINUTES THROUGH THE EPISODE AND IVE ALREADY USED UP MY 30 SCREENSHOTS FOR ONE TUMBLR POST, WHAT THE HELL

im making another one, ill be back, i promise

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #bad buddy #bad buddy series #a tale of thousand stars #atots #1000stars #patpran #phutian #phuphatian #ohmnanon #earthmix #ohm pawat #nanon korapat #earth pirapat #mix sahaphap #our skyy 2 x bad buddy #our skyy 2 x a tale of thousand stars #our skyy 2 x atots

[cinnachaos]

ok so morgan lore (sorry this is so long , ive had lore cooking for these guys for a while and i never really fully finished it but here it is) (aslo i typed this all out half asleep i kight edit it later but maybe not idk)

warning for death and schtuff below

he lives on an apocalypse-ish planet where there are frequent lockdowns because of the inner monster stuff (refer to that other infodumping post) and unfortunately beth and jerry both got stuck in monster rampaging form and had to be exterminated/couldnt be found or anchored back into human form (they dont currently have a cure but later on with rick and morgan home they make one)

summer has a missing arm from a fucky wucky with a monster so she uses a robotic arm , she also has a shorter cut thats a bit fluffier and she doesnt wear a ponytail

rick has to leave the universe because he had a Monster Momento and fucked with a group of ricks so he wanted to make sure his morty and summer werent brought into it (his original family is all gone, it took him a LOT of tries to find morgan and summer so he cares a shit ton abt them)

morgan goes oh shit what the hell and takes a portal gun his rick stole and tries to find him but miami morty/mimi sees him thinking hes a rogue morty and goes can we keep him pretty please rick and even after he says no shoots a morty manipulator chip at him and drags him home like a wet cat

they go on adventures together, morgan usually wearing headphones and using weapons based off of games he likes because he doesnt like killing things so he does that to make it less AAAAGH for him (ill send my five thousand headcanons for the miamis and canon stuff about the monsters later)

one time he has a Moment with his monster form because unlike rick who at this point has most control over it bc hes coped with his trauma fairly well after mimi and rick get hurt and they have to heal him since his monster form usually damages him a lot (mainly through bruising, and if he uses his spikes or blades, bleeding)

they have a lot of fun unnttiiilll monster rick/his original rick comes to take him home and mistakes them for kidnappers even though theyve been taking good care of him so they both get into a fight and monster rick decides to take him home and keep him in the morty mind blower area of their house until he remembers which causes a huge freakout on morgans behalf

the miamis and monsters (summer and rick) go find him but go oh fuck its those guys and fight and then morgan has to go like guys what the fuck i like both of you and consider both of you family can you STOP FIGHTING so they go oh uh ok and now they have to share custody of morgan /lhj

also yeah monster care/research was prioritized in earth mv87 12 (theres more but i forgor) and it eventually calms down from a mass epidemic to just mildly dangerous

heres an old doodle of them since u got to the wnd of the infodump 🎉🎉🎉 (idk when ill draw sumker maybe later, just probably wont be soon cus im not hyperfixated on r&m anymore even if i still like it😭)

actually fuckit im putting my headcanons n shit here

ok so mv87/monster things

★ morgan wears headphones while on adventures to avoid hearing loud noises like gunshots, usually listens to splatoon music on loop

★ morgan has a habit of doing splatoon win animations sometimes when he successfully finishes an adventure

★ morgan was originally caught by mimi with pocket mortys stuff, he considers both the miamis and monsters his family, also very close to chaos rick and morty (another friends rick and morty) (hyperions-world chars!!!)

★ morgan is very close to his ricks but kind of scared of other ricks, he knows they can be really mean and devalue their mortys and him being really sensitive/fragile he cant handle that

★ morgan iscomfortable with miami mortys (/p!!!) kisses on the head to him and loves physical affection from any of his family members/close friends even if hes like eeeeeeeeehhhh from other people

★ morgan has a bad habit of getting extremely attached to ricks very quickly and is like a nice rick magnet 😭 hes befriended multiple ricks in the citadel like cop rick and enthusiastically waves at them anytime he sees them

★ morgan sometimes sways back and forth like an inkling/octoling idol position and has a few weapons a rick made him based off of splatoon/pokemon that he uses CONSTANTLY and will never go more than 5 feet away from him at all times

★ morgan can and will pull all of his family members into his hyperfixes/sp/ins. he will. hes done it with splatoon and pokemon . he will drag you in eventually/j

★ monster rick is really stoic/apathetic looking but really deeply cares for his family and he doesnt apply to the typical rick "idgaf about u haha fuck u u little pussyfart morty" /LHJ he tries his best to be a good grandpa and guardian even with his traumas and inner monster dealio

★ monster rick is always partially in monster form cus he thinks it looks cool, he also has a tooth gap between his front teeth

★ the mv87s do not know what sleep is. they constantly have eye bags except for sometimes summer because shes the most early bird of them all and she is very responsible

★ morgan is trans , i am heavily debating on making summer trans too. maybe. m a y b e.

miami headcanons

★ miami rick spoils the shit out of miami morty even though he wont admit it to anyone and if morty brings it up rick lectures him on the way home/lhj

★ MIMI FUCKING LOVES MONSTER HIFH AND YOU WONT BE ABLE TO PRY THAT HEADCANON OUT OF MY COLD DEAD HANDS

★ miami rick goes by he/she with close friends/family but he/him or he/they w anyone else

★ miami morty isnt as smart as rick but just about as powerful when it comes to strength and fighting smarts? not counting weapons and stuff

★ miami morty acts like an absolute angel around rick for the most part but is menacing as hell to people behind his back LMAO. oh and hes an absolute girlboss, a diva who could and would throw you out a window like an empty soda bottle

★ miami rick is very protective of morty in the way that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable because of his outfit or if anyone hits on him or just any creepy things in general rick will hate crime them

★ miami morty likes to jokingly flirt but sometimes will accidentally do it with other mortys and go oh wait thats me oops. well its still funny

★ miami morty also has a habit of platonically kissing his friends on the cheek/head like you would a pet or something and then has to awkwardly explain its not romantic 😭😭 (some fanart relating to pcoket mortys gave me this idea actually)

★ miami rick lets morty paint his nails sometimes, begrudgingly but it makes morty really happy so he acts like he hates it to keep up appearances but likes seeing morty happy

★ MIAMI MORTY USES HIS LOLLIPOP AS A SORT OF ORAL STIM, morgan would probably get him something that wouldnt murder his teeth to have in his mouth n stim with

★ mimi he/any moment

AGH. OK. FINALLY DONE. there. this is all like months old please excuse that i mostly am involved in like sploon and pokemon since theyre sp/ins not just hyperfixes lol

#rick and morty #rick and morty au #mv87 12 #morgan smith #infodump #my art #miami morty #miami rick #mv87 #my oc

[dutchwinter]

BOOM DONE!!!!!

whew okay..

my favorite lyric: laughing at my garage about all the things i think i need to keep they dont do me any good and i know they would all be better off with someone else the less i grow the less i change im like the living dead inside an endless loop if i lose sight stay the same im like a hungry zombie searching for you brain no one knows how deep it is and everything gets washed away the wave comes in the waves comes out and everything it hits gets to be new again i dont know whats real or not anymore i dont know whats real or not anymore the way the wind fires up in the west low in the east visions of grandeur i never wanted any of this take my away ill never deny it the way the sun shines down through the trees stains in the glass over my cats face reminding me that everything just as it is more effort in chaos we build the walls that keep us apart together alone long for the real thing i never listened so closely before tell me the truth you know how it fucks me up. AND maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one when the physical resides in memory thats invincible with multi camera eyes will it ever be enough will it ever be enough will it ever be enough will it ever be enough im the youngest of the kids empty closet theres a suit coat and a jacket and i know it doesnt fit my dad gave it to my brother but i dont give a shit theres a suit coat and a jacket that i know he never wore i could really use one we might as well give up our love resentments i just want to know will this sleep be the last maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one its the loneliest at night in moment thats forgettable but i cherished every eye it was eating me alive IT WAS EATING ME ALIVE IT WAS EATING ME ALIVE im the smallest of the kids in the composite theres an overwhelming label that someone put on my back and A SUITCASE FROM A YEAR AGO IVE STILL YET TO UNPACK IN THE LAST MOMENTS I SAW YOU YOU WERE BEGGING ME TO STAY NOW I WISH I WOULDVE i tried my best to fight those overwhelming voices in my head will this time be the last divided reactions of our memories and oxytocin thrill would you still STILL LOVE ME THE SAME maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one WOULD YOU STILL BE IN LOVE maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one maybe this will be the one. AND blind in my steps am i falling just like every other autumn leaf bound to my flaws hanging vulnerable in darkness on the ocean floor IF ONLY I WAS SEPARATE FROM WHAT I CREATED maybe things would be better if we undid this knot and ended our hunger strike following in the footsteps of my grandmother she welcomed all her pain so im keeping any extra i make to myself i wouldnt have expected anyone to notice it tonight i dont i dont want to die but tomorrow i might stuck to my false sense of self hanging vulnerable in darkness we cant seem to ever get away from everything we want what if i was only waiting for my chance to jump tonight i dont dont want to get high but tomorrow i might ill be prepared to die ill be prepared to die tonight kiss my mom and dad goodbye ill be prepared to die tonight. BUT ALSO if im sure of only one thing its that i shouldnt be all locked up in hesitation this wont last i can see in all directions what it means when you say sorry i dont know if i can trust it but i have no other choice but i have no other choice oh i wish youd fit hanging on everything you say oh i wish youd quit dripping on every single thing i dont even know what time it is in my dream it feels like im always falling or im fucking something up i dont know if i can love you but i have no other choice but i have no other choice. text limit

BUT ALSOOOOO how are you so sure that youre alright disappearing fragments of whats left show me if you can ill hold my breath till were out of this she looked the other way keeping her distance from everyone everywhere hold me in the bottom of this bed tested in the shadow of this dread. follow what you will i wont be tempted seeking you will find the worst in me settle in your eyes a broken scream this will be the end and i wont cry at all we end i wasted all my energy all we are we waste buried in the back of every thought spoken in the language of my heart who will be the one i wont be tempted buried in the lie beneath your lungs father was ashamed when he was young. ANDDD im still waking up from this shit while i was down i witnessed everything in stunning black and white i lost sight and made excuses for all the damage that i did singing i dont want to go out and get high again im still coming lose from its grip what i saw while i was dreaming made me want to stay alive ill put every single ounce of focus that i have in it singing i dont want to go out and get high tell the truth for once i want to bury every single thing devour all the time ive lost inside of every word i fear singing i dont want to go out and get high again. BUT ALSO??? displace contrast who wouldnt want to let this pass the snake must [???] its getting caught trying to be somethings it not keep it up so long maybe it should stay in the place its lost this too must pass its getting caught trying to keep it together i dont dance the world around me spins like a tornado when you come its like nothing ive ever felt so say maintain i never thought id be like that the snake must [???] its getting caught trying to keep it together my tragedy a lions mane getting right back up again dreaming of the perfect way to say the things i should just say i dont dance the world around me spins in your arms you are the only thing i want. i dont know if i can be alone again and i dont think that i can make it through i dont want to be the center. okay you know what IM FUCKING TIRED im not doing the rest of it BC I AM BUSY WITH SPRINTS and finishing this FUCKING FIC rn BUT YOU GET IT RIGHT??

my favorite song: okay maybe this will be the one. but also no other choice and fucks me up and dont dance and trading doses.

the song that makes me cry: yes

the song that’s a fucking bop: dont dance. i dont want to die tonight. trading doses.

the song i most dislike/least love: center of it all maybe but like. i would marry that song if i could. so?

x < ask game

#asks #OKAY ONE MOMENT IM FUCKING FINISHING MY FIC

[yxstxrdrxxm]

(Since i already did reveal myself, i'll just send asks without being an anon lol)

Oh! That's easy, actually. Although we won't be available when we leave tomorrow, we contacted a certain someone that can run this blog and inform us of any messages you have for either me or Eros ^^

Navina? 👀

Speaking of, Eros wanted to tell you that he appreciated your presence, Mochi! Every time we talked about you and the others, I've seen him smile and mutter something about getting a calico cat and naming her after you. It was so cute! Eros never had any close friends other than me, so seeing her talk about everyone and you like we were all best friends warmed my heart.

SJNSKSJDJD- THAT IS SO CUTE??? Naming a calico cat after me, awhhh 🥺 cupid, can you tell eros that i appreciate knowing her too?? Tell her i said she's very cute too- (and yk there's something funny about your words. I also have a calico cat roaming around my house lmaoo, why is my life so full of funny coincidence-)

Aha... Anyways, before I go on rambling, that's all I can say. We'll see what we can do to make things easier and so we can speak to you all again, hehe! I hope you'll still be around when that happens :D

Oh yeah, i forgot to copy the sentence, but uhh, about that interesting thing in next month, i'll be sure to keep my eyes on it! Whether it'd be another event (i doubt it would be this one, please rest navina 💀) or anything else, i will be enthusiastic about it :] AND YES, I WILL STILL BE AROUND 🙆🏻‍♀️ you can't get rid of me, i'm like that small mistake when you're drawing and you just can't seem to erase it unless you get to the layer who has it-

Hehe, whoever it is will be a surprise, but I'll tell Eros that you appreciate the sentiment as well! She's out right now to get some last minute groceries (and also snacks, we'll be having a small movie night to celebrate our resignation!), so she'll definitely be pleased to hear your message.

Anyway, its nice to see you'll stick around even if we won't be here, then :D hope you enjoy what else will go down while we're busy settling some last minute plans.

(note from yours truly: HELPAIDSRFHUI NOT THE CALICO CAT... dwdw, Im gonna rest for after the main story + maybe writing the dlc fics. on hindsight, they might not be guaranteed to be all posted because bro, my brain needs a huge reboot when this sht is all done and dusted. orz.)

(tbh the next one wont be abt OLC anymore, thankfully, but! it will also reference this + make small cameos. Dont know what I'll do this time around when I get the chance but we shall see kek)

(Istg though when Im done Im gonna limit whoever I'll write. I love writing all of these characters and thinking abt them but God do I now resent how many I have to research. fuck THAT.)

(anyways!! I shall go eep for a good while on writing + maybe post dlcs. I will say that some fics will most def not be published even after the week for dlc stuff/extra fics because my brain just. isnt braining. orz orz im gonna cry. i'll prolly post them randomly idk HAIUHDUFSI anyways ill shut up now goodbye—)

#💌 ;; messenger writes #💌 ;; promising letter: one last call #💌 ;; a letter from: mochinon-yah #;; ill make a proper tag for cupid but aaaaaa too lazy #;; anyways yuh #;; tmr is the last day of the main story + event so I am VERY stoked #;; finally... now i gotta worry of the dlc stuff LMAO #;; might just make some short snippets though. writing full fics is rlly taxing esp to those i dont know much on writing for #;; so theirs will be as short as wandys #;; but the rest... we'll see lol. #;; we'll see.

[bonesandthebees]

that ties into the fact that we have no idea whatll happen to wilbur afterwards

I would love to believe that he wont be forced into any roles (maybe even get to figure out his relationship with clara, communicate it out with her in a way or something tho that is very hopeful and foolish) and get to live as a person if he wishes to (which im confident to say he does)

he has phil on his side (and surely also tommy, niki techno, some other deathlings too) and I would even dare to believe eret wouldnt force him into a strict role like that, plus he did agree to the plan but im not sure if that really accounts for any insurance

but does any of that really matter if he still keeps getting visions

at this point it doesnt feel like enough for wilbur to get to be a person while still getting and relaying vision, bc there is deep rooted trauma

I think he either ignores the visions or fixes his relationship with clara ig (idk how that could even happens but it would definitely be very interesting ngl)

not sure if that makes sense but in general im just praying for some closure and freedom for him, my boy deserves at least that

wilbur has made some insane progress lately and it can be seen, especially in the last chapter and I go over that in my comments but just trusting more in general, less afraid to break pythia rules, ... im so proud of him

what I do want to point out is how, despite the deathlings being his friends/family now, the good ones basically, and even kristin being more there than clara ever really was, wilbur still doesnt like kristin and doesnt want to be a deathling

like hes with them and hes one of them in a way, but hes not a deathling, he isnt switching to kristin just bc he hates clara

and I absolutely love that, bc while switching to being a deathling would make sense, his journey here is about discovering himself, without the influence of anyone else, especially not goddesses (I think if he werent chosen as the pythia he wouldve been an atheist, talking to q about it was very intriguing to him)

on completely different note I noticed that the kind of visions wilbur receives (or maybe how he perceives them) is relevant to how he feels about something rn, like the vision about escaping vs the new vision being confused bc hes confused

not sure if thats what's actually happening but it feels like it

and ofc I cant forget, THAT SANDDUO SCENE? WITH THE NAME REVEAL? BONES YOUR SANDDUO ARE EVERYTHING TO ME

so unbelievably proud of wilbur for how far hes come and prying this all goes well and he gets to live the life he deserves

and a mandatory "the pythia"/"wilbur" narration changes bc I dont think ill ever be normal about that, it just always gives every moment even more meaning, its genius

2/2

hm... while it would be great for wilbur not to be forced into any more roles he IS still clara's chosen. he is still going to receive visions of the future whether he wants them or not. and that means something even if he doesn't want it to.

guess you'll have to wait and see how that turns out :)

yeah the thing is I think a lot of readers expected wilbur to switch to kristin since she's the 'opposite' of clara in a sense, but that's not the route i wanted to go down. wilbur's trauma is so deeply ingrained, any kind of religious institution leaves a bad taste in his mouth now. the past ten years of his life have been dictated by the rules of the divine, but he doesn't want that anymore. he wants to step away from the divine entirely, and get the experience he's been denied for so long: just being a person.

aaa thank you I loved writing that sandduo scene so much. he's made SO much progress it's been so fun to write his slow character growth throughout this entire fic, and finally reap the rewards.

#ask #jiksvokrat #glass ch 25

[lucasgregorowicz]

Very long rant follows

See the thing with being mentally ill while also having insane religious guilt/OCD whatever is that you very often have the feeling that literally killing yourself is the only way out because technically according to the bible (or well the fundamentalist interpretation of it) is that I am a vile sinner so you think to yourself so very often that God would rather want you dead than be happy because I physically cannot follow all the stuff in the bible and I cannot leave the religion either because of the dumb brainwashing so you just think to yourself well fine I will just you know go confess my sins and then end my life which again insane ass take and the rational part of me knows that and yet you cant talk to anyone because well your parents wont let you go to therapy and you dont wanna bother anyone and cant talk to priests either cos then they tell you that all your mental illnesses are results of your sins which I will admit I did some fucked up shit but not a single would cause me such agony. Thing about being mentally ill too is you can't trust you cant trust your mind or anything anymore because you went through insane brainwashing and you dont whats right or wrong anymore and you get zero support and then you come to the conclusion that killing yourself is the only way out even though you don't even *wanna die* but there is no way I can get help without making shit worse for me and it is so fucking dumb that I have never felt in control of my fucking life and safe in my own fucking mind.

Sure God has a plan, but what was my plan? Being in pain? Killing myself? What did I do to deserve such parents? What did I do to deserve that mindset? Because it may sound horrid I fucking know that but part of me wishes I was as close-minded as my parents as I am being treated like a fucking pariah and a sinner and a disgusting human being because I keep saying that people existing isnt in anyway inherently sinful even if I personally wouldnt agree w some stuff people do

and then everyone is like telling me trust your gut well I cant anymore man I dont know whats right or wrong. I feel good when I make sure that queer folks feel loved and accepted and any other people who my church considers to be sinners and yet my (brainwashed) mind tells me that is the devil speaking and I am in the wrong and I will end up in hell and rot there forever.

Then I once tried for months to ignore my conscience and just do as my church says and I never felt so horrid and fucking hell man.

I hate this being alive thing and I wish I could just get the courage to kill myself and get it over with.

I don't what God wants anymore. I do not what I want anymore. I just frankly want it to be fucking over before I go down any path because I still dont wanna hate anyone based on their gender, sexuality. random choices that have 0 to do with whether they are good people or not. Well hope my parents are proud of themselves fucked me up for good and made sure that I will never be happy or safe or comfortable anywhere not even in my own fucking mind.

#tw religious guilt #tw mental instability #tw mental breakdown #tw religion #tw religious trauma #tw christianity #tw internalized homophobia #tw internalised queerphobia #tw brainwashing #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw depression #tw depressive #tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #tw anxiety #tw religious ocd #tw religious abuse #tw personal #saturn stuff #hope I didnt miss any tags

[everything-i-couldnt-tell-u]

i feel like shit about myself just because of your presence alone. i still feel like every little thing i'll do will be wrong to you since im switched to sevy again. i feel like you'll lash out at me if i say anything to you. i feel like im just some miserable person you force yourself to put up with. no matter how good you're getting along with my alters, i feel like i'm the reason you'll get sick of them. and dont ask me why i end up thinking of these things cause what reason is there for me not to get paranoid like this? and the last time ive ever talked to you directly was when i wanted to understand why you're still staying with me, i wanted to know if there was anything about me that was worth something to you cause i was desperate to know which i'd believe. if im supposed to believe you dont hate me like you say or if im supposed to just take the fucking hint already that obviously you dont want me here? but well i made a promise that day that ill never ask you again cause it just made you angry. ive already found answers on my own and i get why i received mixed signals before. i think you liked my other alters but when it got switched to me, you dont like me the same. but thats okay, i know there's nothing about me for anyone to love anyway. so for as long as im still the one fronting in this body, i want nothing to do with you. im not interested in getting anywhere near you cause i already feel like shit on my own. i dont wanna feel worse by getting close with someone who just reminds me of how much i can be disliked. whenever im with you i just remember how you humiliated me in that damn server, how you kept seeing things about me that were only worthy of your criticisms, how i was probably never worth your time? i dont care anymore and im not interested in confirming whether you hate me or not. i dont wanna waste my time getting jealous of my alters cause its fucking stupid. im sure this doesnt matter to you so i dont wanna make you matter to me either. just have fun once my other alters front again i guess cause i wont be there to ruin things for all of you

[self-h-rmageddon]

whatever its my vent i need to use it to vent or else this shit is gonna rip me apart like a tornado, its already begun

i dont think anyone will see this, i sure hope not! if you do, no you didnt. just ignore me for now, ill live

im scared. its that same thing, fear thats like an old friend at this point. hi! nice to see you again, take a seat lets do this again i guess. scared, i see things that arent there. little things, seemingly nothing, but its. i spend too much time trying to look into things and read abandonment before it happens, i know that. reading into things looking for abandonment and rejection will yield those results. i KNOW this. but i keep doing it.

small, it starts off small. 95% , im alright! anything i see, i just shake off. am i actually seeing it? or do i just think i see it? its simple... and then it starts to dwindle the more i see. okay.. well. this still doesnt mean anything! control yrself, its alright, you are safe, and you are loved.. right? no, of course i am! of course... time passes, things pile up, below half its not looking good! just. keep it together. youve been doing so good, havent you? youve been such a non issue for them! good. keep it that way. calms for a bit, but. how else do i phrase this? when i keep losing skill checks over and over and over again, you must understand! of course it just gets worse, im just not.. good at this.

im losing my charm, im getting dull, im grey and boring im.. annoying, probably. yes.. dreadful, arent you? YAWN. okay

its like.. ive been reassured so many times, i usually just reply that information over and over when i start to feel myself crack, but.. eventually, it goes quiet. im using old words to reassure myself, what if.. what if somethings changed? what if its not true anymore?

do i REALLY wanna get into how pathetic i am? sure why not, i said i love you a few times and it was overlooked. both ways. i cant blame them though, i probably say it too much, thats what i mean by annoying. maybe.. its so glaringly obvious how much i want to be here, maybe its genuinely obnoxious? maybe they just didnt notice, maybe they meant to but forgot! or maybe. its not true anymore. maybe they say it with contempt, maybe they say it with a sigh. that sounds right, doesnt it?

is it real? i have no idea! genuinely. im blinded here, i see whats real and what isnt, which means i see nothing at all basically. the worst part about it? i dont believe theyre those kind of people, not even a little bit! i just.. get scared that maybe ill bring it out of them, maybe its ME thats the problem, that wears them down, yknow?

this has been growing for like. more than a month at this point. slowly just.. chipping away, breaking down my armor. ive always been temporary in the past. even when im so excited to keep going, so excited to explore this path and enjoy it, i cant lie and say that fear wont rear its head eventually. eventually im going to be afraid again, afraid of little things. small. but you cant just say "hey! any tiny thing you do regarding me, i will see it and read into it and probably take it wrong" cuz thats not right!! even if its TRUE that doesnt make it right. no bpd walking on eggshells please 🙏🙏 please.

it always feels awful to be doing like really well! and then it just starts... sinking. you feel yrself sinking, you feel the flooring underneath yr feet start to lower, but you stare up into the sky anyways, its okay for now! its slowly becoming not okay. im scared im just..

i have a hard time going long without positive reinforcement or reassurance that im still. WANTED. that im doing anything right at all. i just need a little!! just a little, and itll go a long way i promise! i start to retreat back into my shell, i start regarding myself as a visitor and not a resident. ill stay away, ill become distant and nervous, less sure of myself, etc. scared, treading lightly so to speak. like the smallest thing will ruin it, its fragile and i need to take great care and make sure i dont shatter this. thats how im feeling again recently. its really just a me problem, this feeling grows over time and im so painfully aware of it

but.. thats where the problem arises, i couldnt ever ask for it. cuz.. if you deserved it, dont you think they wouldve given it to you? then theres some sort of separation, theres an answer. if they wont say they feel it, its because they dont. how embarrassing is that? i know its not true, theres probably another answer, but... what if it is? ive been doing so terrible recently, like as a friend im not doing good at all. i havent been, ive been trying but. im not trying hard enough, i need to do more. but if i do more, then i seem desperate dont i? i am desperate, even if i dont like to admit it, its true

what do i do then? if yr desperate and they dont like it, it reinforces to them why they shouldnt like you and yr worse off then before you asked! but if you never ask...

why does it always boil down to this? the 'damned if i do, damned if i dont' thing? its constant, im literally frozen in place. its killing me one way or another. and its so fucking weird how i can be fully confident, cuz it never bothers me when someone asks for help or reassurance, im here! bitch of course yr there!!! you cant live without them, ofc you do shit like that!! that doesnt mean itll be returned to you. you can hope it will be, but.. what if you try and its not? then its basically set in stone, you arent good enough anymore. yeowch!