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the-fluff-piece · 10 months

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Sanji - loving his s/o with self esteem issues

this is part of the request for a headcanon from @zephyrian-journ it turned into a whole story, whoops i hope it's okay!

Sanji x fem!reader who has problems with her body, I can only write from my perspective so keep that in mind!

Mention of stress response, insecurity with one's own body, mention of restricting

Here are my Masterlists

My Masterlist - Short and Multichapter stories

Headcanon Masterlist

Sanji expresses his love through food and service, he is just like that. So when you stop eating his creations and request only the plainest, low caloric options he is starting to feel really anxious. When you refuse to be touched and hide your body from the world he starts to panic. When you become absent minded and cautious, when you retreat and keep to yourself - he has a full breakdown.

He waits until you are alone and approaches you with an uncomfortable expression.

"So, what's wrong?" He asks, avoiding your gaze.

"What do you mean?" You ask back.

"You're kind of distant lately and...did I do something wrong?" The gaze of his blue eyes is locked on his shoes, his graceful fingers are fumbling nervously, he looks like a boy that has done something seriously wrong.

"No, not at all" you try to look into his eyes, but he turns away.

"I understand." He runs away. When you catch his arm and he turns around, tears are already flowing from his face. "I understand, I am not good enough for you anymore, I won't bother you anymore with my presence" the end of his sentence is hardly understandable, since he is sobbing loudly now, sinking to his knees. "You don't love me anymore, I am not good enough" he cries as he dramatically hugs your knees.

"Shh, don't cry babe, I love you more than anything, you know that" you tell him as you soothingly stroke his hair and kiss the tears away. "Why would you think that I don't love you anymore? You're the best thing that ever happened to me" you tell him as he looks up at you with puppy eyes, pressing his cheek against your chest.

"You're not eating my cakes anymore, you don't let me touch you, we're not bathing together anymore...it's like you don't want to be with me anymoooooooooooooore" the last word transitions into a long, whiny sob and he cries like a waterfall again.

"It's got nothing to do with you!" You explain to him. "You're perfect, you know that. It's me."

He blinks tears out of his eyes and looks at you. "THAN WHYYYYYYY" he helplessly gestures with his hands as he's crying out his question.

"...I gained weight. I don't fit into my jeans anymore. I just...I feel like a whale. I don't feel comfortable right now. I didn't want you to notice until I lost it again. Which doesn't seem to be working. And I was never thin to begin with..." your voice breaks as you struggle to express all you are feeling. "I just didn't want to disappoint you." Now you have tears in your eyes, avoiding his puzzled look.

"What?" He gets up and holds your shoulders. "How would you disappoint me?" He tries to catch your gaze but you are avoiding him.

"You like pretty women. I don't even know what you see in me, and now it's gotten worse. I just didn't want you to notice"

It is harder to say than you thought and now you're sobbing. Suddenly you're pressed against his chest, the soft fabric of Sanjis suit is catching your tears.

"I was so stupid and superficial I even manage to hurt you now with it! I'm so sorry! I didn't know what I even could expect from a relationship. I just know that you are unique and perfect and that I feel as safe with you as never before. I like your body because it is yours, and I want to see it grow old together with mine." he lifts your chin up and looks into your eyes. He looks dead serious now, despite his reddened and puffy eyes.

"Please forgive me!" He pleads. "I don't want you to feel unwanted! What can I do?"

"I don't know..." you say.

He nods, tears and snot running down his face.

"I'll find a way!" He promises.

For the next days, he's serious and quiet. Every time you talk, he tells you how much he loves you, but things between you seem tense. He also seems to do a lot more stuff for Nami than usual - carrying stuff for her, bringing her more treats, constantly asking what he could do. All in all, a strange situation. Tension builds and you are even more insecure about him than before, painfully aware that he was into Nami way before you two met.

So when you see them vanish in Nami's room, you cannot help but get a bad feeling. When they don't come out for quite a while, you decide to have a look. Nothing unusual to just knock and see what they're up to.

You knock - no answer. You try the handle, it's open. You enter and see them standing in the room, heads together. It's hard to see exactly what's happening there, but Sanji immediately jumps up, looking guilty.

"Y/n! What are you doing here? You weren't supposed to see this!" He shouts angrily. He has never used this kind of tone with you. After the last days, it's enough. You turn on your heel and try to get away before anyone is seeing you cry.

You're already halfway across the ship when you hear him behind you: "wait, It's not what it looks like!"

He quickly catches up and blocks your way.

"It wasn't supposed to go like this, don't cry" he says, but you're already crying.

"Leave me alone" you tell him.

"No, I'll never leave alone again" he says, his voice suddenly quiet and soft. Through the veil of your tears, you see him go down on one knee.

"I'll never leave you, because I want you to become my wife!" He's shouting, for everyone to hear, as he holds up a golden ring encrusted with diamonds.

"I got this ring from Nami's treasure, I hope you like it. If not I'll get another one!" He looks at you, awaiting your answer.

This was the last thing you expected. The two of you never talked about marriage.

"What?" You ask, overwhelmed by everything.

"I want to share everything with you for the rest of my life. I want to grow old with you! I want to become better for you all the time. I want you to become my family, because I love you so much! I told you I will find a way to show you how much you mean to me. This is it. Please marry me!"

For a painful second, you hesitate and his lower lip already begins to tremble. You hold out your hand and let him slip the ring on your finger. He kisses your hand and holds it against his cheek. You can feel a tear running down his face.

"You make me so happy" he cries. "Let's be a family!"

______________________________

Soooo....this one took me *checks date* forever, I am so sorry! I will be working through my drafts and requests as I have a bit more time now! Hope you liked it :D

#one piece fanfiction #one piece x you #one piece sanji #op sanji #sanji #sanji x y/n #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #sanji x you #chubby reader #fat reader #black leg sanji #blackleg sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #op sanji fluff #sanji fluff #fluff #one piece #the fluff piece

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mrsnancywheeler · 2 months

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ommggg i read let me down easy today and i kept re-reading it bc its TOO GOOD AHH !!🦅🦅

it hurt so much but im a whore for angst first, and a human second🫶

just thinking about the reader suffering in silence because she feels guilty for having any negative feelings towards finnick :(( the way she dismisses those feelings bc she thinks that whatever she’s going through is nothing compared to what he’s been through :((

also thinking abt finnick’s slow realization that she’s suffering because of him :(( like the incident at the market is when he began to notice the changes :(( and later when he fully understands how his behavior affected her IT MESSES HIM UP SO BAD

i just know he was remembering his past interactions with reader (where she breaks the glass / when she rejected his money at the pearl necklace stand) AND CRINGING …and it only gets worse when reader spills her guts about what she went through. omg ik he was sick.

another #thougjt i had was how this might mess up the reader for a bit after too #idk (that just might be me tho lmaoo) bc i feel like once you’ve been in that cycle of feeling depressed/insecure for so long it’s hard to snap out of, even with constant reassurance 😔

But maybe that’s just my angsty side talking HAHA

but i loved this fic, 11/10🫶

-🦅

omg yes, literally my favorite thing I've ever written. ik I wrote it, but it's the only thing of mine I reread bc it's like the perfect expression of how I feel, like if I could represent myself in one fic it would be that one if that makes any sense. it's like a concept that always haunts my mind no matter what I'm hyperfixating on maybe because I'm just like melancholy like that 🎀🎀🎀

but thank you so much, I'm literally so glad people are enjoying it because it literally is my own roman empire

yes she wants to be angry, she is angry, but refuses to let herself be because his issues are what she needs to prioritize. how can she be angry when he is constantly suffering? even if it's not so slowly tearing her apart, like a piece of paper sitting in water, she's trying to stay connected for the illusion of it all, to be strong for him.

her being loving isn't new to him, so he isn't thrown off by that, only slightly confused by her waking up earlier then usual. so her gifts have little bearing when he's used to it and he really doesn't want to feel loved right now because he's trying to reject whatever will make him seek comfort. when she starts changing her clothes and makeup, it's different, but he's not responsive because she's always been his pretty girl and always will be, her buying new clothes doesn't make him perceive her any differently or wonder if there's a reason, people try out new things.

when he notices how other peoples interactions with her have changed that's when he really starts to notice, if everyone else perceives her as melancholy then something has to be wrong. even if he's not quick to point the finger back to himself. he tries gifts, maybe she wouldn't buy something because she wanted him to do it, some sort of attention, but it's not big enough part of the issue to have any bearing on the effects it's now had on her. the girl rotting depression era shall we say. eventually through that, what people say to him, self-reflection he gains full consciousness of what he's been doing, how he's been hurting the person he loves so much. and the guilt is incomprehendable.

how could he be so selfish? so closed off as not to process all the clear cries for help? thinking about how he was getting annoyed, feeling like she was being moody when she insisted on doing the dishes until the dish broke. how she ran out into the ocean, in the rain without a care to regain some sense of composure, composure to try and make him happy. then the necklace thing, how could he miss her clearly trying just to be with him, be near him, have the interactions with him that he was giving to the girl at the shop instead? he was so unresponsive to the emotional needs he just assumed it to be a material need that he was willing to give. so when she rejects the money it just doesn't compute, to buy it she needs it, and then she tries to send the message that buying something isn't what she's asking for but he misses it completely. he gets snappy and it snaps her.

so when he's finally talking to her, he needs her to tell him the truth, the nuances because he's been so blind to all of it. he needs to know how he hurt her and it really is like a full wake up call. he can't let his own trauma consume him, allowing it to traumatize her in different ways. like when she mentions her getting to the point of just wanting him to want her body if he wouldn't want her because that's how people perceive him, that's what was hurting him, but he inadvertently made her feel that way. it breaks him to think that he did that to her, that he hurt his girl that way. then the idea that she would have let him cheat on her, she would've picked being with him over her own well-being, well she did, and he doesn't deserve that. he can't fathom how he could be with someone who loves him so blindly as to choose being with a ghost of him over not having him at all, when she deserves so much better. when he has been so callous with such a precious kind of love. or the fact that he even made it seem like he had interest in anyone but her.

there will be a fluffy, smutty requested sequel but readers issues afterwards will be lightly touched upon in it. but yes, she would have to spend so much time mending her relationship with herself afterwards. he's totally on hand and knee trying to make it up to her, to prove how much he loves and needs her, to give the attention she deserves. but she's still paranoid about cheating, insecure, scared, even if she tries to mask it. but he knows. he could, and does, spend hours praising her, telling her how pretty she is, how she's the only one, how sorry he is, how much he adores her, but it doesn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head. she tries to hide it but she's clingier and he's okay with that, she needs him more.

but yes there's lots of long term effects the incident has on there relationship. and they have to try and navigate that together.

thank you pookie, I love your thoughts sm 💋💋💋💋💋💋

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #🦅 anon

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pengychan · 26 days

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[Baldur’s Gate III] A Deal in Three Acts: Act II

Title: A Deal in Three Acts Summary: Weeks since Raphael took temporary residence at Sharess’ Caress, Haarlep is bored. Still waiting for Tav to take him up on his offer, Raphael is frustrated. Tav chooses an interesting evening to show up with a counter-offer. Characters: Raphael, Haarlep, Tav. Rating: Explicit Status: Complete

Act I here Also on AO3

*** Sometimes nice simple plans fall apart, but they can be salvaged with an incubus on your side. I think. ***

When Tav had left Elfsong Tavern to head for Sharess’ Caress, she had a plan.

A nice, simple plan, as Astarion had called it after they’d spent hours going through every detail of their counter-offer to avoid every possible pitfall. Two centuries since he’d last donned a magistrate’s robes, he still had plenty of insight to give when it came to binding contracts.

“I think I would have hated dealing with magistrate Ancunín,” Tav had muttered. Sitting on the tavern’s terraced roof to bask in the rays of the dying sun, a leg dangling off into the air, Astarion had laughed. He laughed a lot more lately, and it was good to see. In the days after they’d cut down Cazador Szarr, he’d seemed to emptied out that everyone at camp had worried. Now, finally, it seemed to have truly hit him - that the monster who’d taken everything from him was gone, and could never hurt him again.

Tav hoped to feel like that, too, and soon.

“Oh, most people hated dealing with this menace,” Astarion had said, gesturing to himself. “And our friend Raphael will be none too pleased by our counter-offer, I bet, but you must not yield an inch. He’s desperate for that crown, and while we have a backup plan, he does not. Our little, shall we say, requests are just trivial matters to the bearer of the Crown of Karsus. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain by accepting.”

“I suppose the clause binding him to limit his rule to the Nine Hells of Baator may be the main stumbling block.”

“Ah, but he already said he’d do that, didn’t he? He cannot refuse to put it on paper without admitting he lied. Of course, we’ll need the entire contract in a language we understand . And a copy for ourselves. I really can’t believe so many people keep doing that. Signing contracts in some language they don’t know, without even their own copy. Wyll was incredibly lucky we found a way to break his contract and save his father.”

“Not everyone’s a magistrate, magistrate.”

“That’s bloody common sense, darling. Now, let’s go over this again, just to make sure you didn’t forget anything…”

They did, and she hadn’t. Tav left the tavern before the last rays of sun disappeared beyond buildings, taking care to speak with no one else. She knew all too well that most of her companions would disapprove, to say the least - Karlach and Gale most of all. But this was for their sake, too.

If everything went as planned, if she could get Raphael to accept the counter-offer, they would both be free of the ticking time bombs in their chests. And of course, Tav would get a shot at seeing an Archdevil die.

The Hells were the Hells; it did not matter to her what devil ruled supreme over it all. She’d gladly hand Raphael the crown and all her own magic on top of it, if it meant she could see Zariel dead and broken, a charred husk among ruins like… like…

“I’m not going to give you a lecture about revenge, because you deserve it as I deserved mine,” was the last thing Astarion had told her before she left. “But they’re dead and you’re alive. Take the blood you’re owed, but keep your life.”

“Is that a very long-winded way to tell me to be careful?”

“I say it a lot better than you do, my friend. If you’re not back by morning, I’ll come looking. You can be certain I will. But I’ll be cursing you the entire way there and back.”

Tav, who’d planned to be back long before morning, had nodded. A simple goal, a simple plan. Nothing was going to throw her off course; she told herself as much while going up the stairs, opening the door, and stepping in the room.

Then-- well, for all her grim determination, the sight had sort of thrown her off. You can never be completely sure of what you’ll see when walking in on a devil, but Tav had no trouble admitting that ‘Raphael fucking himself in the most literal sense possible’ was not among the possible scenarios she’d thought up. She hadn’t meant to make noise, either, but she had and all things considered, it had been a blessing in disguise.

Had the incubus not helpfully introduced themself to her, she might have assumed that the Bhaal cult’s shapeshifters were taking an entirely new approach since Orin’s demise, and she might have attacked. Needless to say, it would have made the situation quite awkward.

Well. More awkward.

“Why don’t you join us, little mouse? Get up close and discuss to your heart’s content. I won’t interrupt. I’ll just be doing my thing.”

“Haarlep--” Raphael tried to speak, his voice strained in a way Tav had never heard it, and even that attempt broke up into a groan when the incubus thrust upwards. It was, pun intended, one hell of a sight: Raphael’s naked body on the lap of an incubus who looked almost exactly like his cambion form, his thighs spread open and chest heaving with ragged breaths.

And Tav she knew a chance when she saw it. She couldn’t have dreamed up an occasion like that, with Raphael that vulnerable, barely coherent . Plus, no matter what Astarion said - she was very much not made of wood. When she met his eyes, clouded with lust as they were, her next words came out in a husky murmur. “May I, Raphael?”

A wordless groan, all his eloquence gone, but it was the only answer she needed. His chest shuddered under her touch and oh, he was feverishly warm, skin glossy with sweat. Beneath her palm, his heart thumped wildly. Tav leaned in, and pressed her lips against his throat. She felt him swallow, and smiled. Her own breathing came a little faster, too. “Tell me what you want.”

“The crown--” he tried, only for an especially clever twist of Haarlep’s hips and to turn the words in a whine. The incubus caught Tav’s eye over his shoulder, and grinned. If they knew what she was trying to do, one thing was clear: they had no intention to stop her.

Good.

Tav pulled back, and tilted Raphael’s chin up. She ran her thumb across his lips, her other hand trailing down his chest, down his stomach, coming to rest on a trembling thigh. “Yes,” she said. “It would look good on you. I want to give you that crown. So you can see all the devils of Baator bowing to you - that’s what you really want, isn’t it?”

“I--” he groaned, dropping his head back against Haarlep’s shoulder at a well-timed tilt of their hips. His hands clenched on sheets. “Yes,” he breathed. There was something else to his shaky voice, a need, a hunger that could never be sated. It sent a shiver down Tav’s spine, more heat pooling in her loins. It was getting really, really warm in that armor.

“You want to see them kneel, don’t you?” she whispered, and finally took his cock in her hand, her touch light, to trace a vein with a nail. “You want to see everyone kneel.”

Raphael’s hips shuddered, and he couldn’t bite back a cry. “Yes,” he managed, and Haarlep laughed.

“Oh, this one,” they said, grinding up into Raphael. “I like her.”

Somehow, Raphael managed a scoff. “You like-- everyone, you insatiable--”

“That’s patently untrue, my pet. I don’t like you, for one.”

The response made Raphael scowl, and wrinkle his nose. He wrinkled his nose a lot when annoyed and it made it somewhat difficult to take him seriously, power of the Hells and all. Tav smiled, and leaned in, almost close enough to kiss him. She did not have Yurgir’s keen sense of smell, but there it was, just like he’d said - the scent of cherries and musk beneath the lingering sulfur. Her voice had always been a little too rough to sound truly sweet, but she did her best to soften it. “Do you want me to kneel for you, Raphael?”

He didn’t answer, not with words: he tried to lean forward instead, to catch her lips with his, to grab her and pull her closer. Tav was fast enough to pull back, though, and the incubus’ hands grasped Raphael’s wrists, snake-quick. Haarlep laughed at the frustrated noise that got out of him, and thrust upwards into him sharply, biting into his shoulder in the same motion.

“Behave, little brat,” they purred against his ear. “She asked you a question, it’s only polite to answer. With words. Do you want her to kneel for you?”

If Tav could bottle the moan that left Raphael then, and sell it, she’d be able to buy the Gate and everyone in it ten times over. Maybe there was a way to do that, really, but working it out would have to wait. Right now, she had a more urgent matter to take care of.

Well, two urgent matters. There was the contract, too. She probably shouldn’t forget that.

“What did you say, pet? I couldn’t hear a yes or a no.” The incubus grinned, delighted, and bit into his shoulder again. Raphael cried out, wordless, but he managed a nod and Tav supposed she could go with that. She placed a kiss on his shoulder, just below the bite mark, and knelt between his trembling thighs. Up close, she noticed the ring at the base of his cock for the first time. She tilted her head, running a finger down the length.

Well, look at that. He wasn’t getting to come anytime soon with that thing on.

“Believe me, you’d have missed all the fun if I hadn’t put that on,” Haarlep almost sing-sang, and let go of one of Raphael’s wrists to grab his face, forcing him to look down. Tav lifted her gaze to see his eyes on her, his lips parted and face flushed, Haarlep’s claws pressing mercilessly into his cheeks. The incubus in question smiled over his shoulder.

“Do you know what he sees when he looks at you? He’ll never tell you, but he told me. I can make him tell me everything,” they cooed, and silenced Raphael’s attempt at a protest with two fingers in his mouth, pressing down his tongue. Raphael made an indignant noise, but his body remained flush against Haarlep’s chest, his eyes still fixed on Tav, wide and dark and hungry. “Can you guess?”

Great, so this was a guessing game now. Tav raised an eyebrow. “A rodent of small size?” she ventured. The incubus’ smile widened.

“His kingdom, that’s what he sees. He looks at you, and he sees his crowning glory.”

Well, fuck. That sure did something to the pit of her stomach and a little below that too. Gods was it hot in there. “Ah,” Tav said, and her voice cracked just a touch, but she managed to catch herself. She had to keep some measure of control if she was to negotiate, because Raphael’s helpless state would do her no good if her brain also turned to mush. So she steadied herself, and locked eyes with him.

She was beginning to feel decidedly overdressed, and her own face was burning, but she held his gaze as she took hold of his cock and leaned in to press her lips on the side of the shaft in a soft kiss. Raphael keened around Haarlep’s fingers, hips shuddering and back arching. The incubus laughed, and thrust up again - hard - to tear another cry from his throat.

“Ah, now we’re talking. You’re so much more fun than usual, my little brat,” they said, soft, almost affectionate. They snuck their free arm around Raphael to pull him back against their chest, pinching a nipple. “But oh, aren’t we terrible hosts. I should have told you to make yourself at home, little mouse. Feel free to slip out of that armor. It looks so uncomfortable.” A pause, a tilt of their head. “And unflattering, if I may.”

Tav allowed one more kiss on the inside of Raphael's thigh and stood, just a little unsteady. She began undoing the clasps with a huff. “The point of an armor isn’t to be flattering,” she muttered, letting the parts drop on the floor and trying not to look in Raphael’s direction just yet. “It’s to keep pointy things from skewering you.”

“Oh, then you should definitely take it off now.”

“... Guess I walked into that one.”

The last of Tav’s underclothes were dropped on the floor, and only then did she look back at Haarlep and Raphael. The incubus had pulled their fingers out of Raphael’s mouth and was smiling, eyes running over her body. Not a lot there for them to see, to be entirely honest; she’d always been about as shapely as a wooden board.

On one of the last nights they’d spent together, Misza had joked that she had curves enough for them both, and pretended to smother her against her breast. They had laughed like idiots, and that was when Tav had decided she should put a ring on it, before someone else snatched her up. And she’d been snatched all right, but down, down into the Hells along with the entire city and--

A lump threatened to form in her throat and Tav forced it away, pushing memories of better times in the back of her mind, where dead things lingered amidst the ruins of Elturel. Dead, charred things. Her mother and father and all her little siblings, and the woman she’d wanted to propose to once she returned from her time in the countryside, where she had gone to learn how to better control her wild magic.

But she’d returned to find a crater where Elturel once was; while the city re-emerged from the Hells in the end, many of its inhabitants didn’t live to see the sky again. She had buried the only body she could recognize, her youngest brother with his owlbear plush toy still in his arms. Then the ring meant for Misza had been sold for passage to Baldur’s Gate and she’d left, long before the surviving citizens cast out all remaining tieflings among them.

“Are you well, little mouse?” Haarlep’s voice snapped her out of it, and they spoke slower, their gaze more focused, a hint of a frown across their features.

Tav met their gaze, and smiled. She had plenty of reasons to smile. They were all gone, but she was still around and so was Zariel, who’d had the city dragged into Avernus. Zariel, who would never surrender her throne without a fight. Zariel, whose days as archdevil would be numbered if Raphael got his way - and he would, as long as she could secure a few clauses. She’d happily be the key to Raphael’s future kingdom, then.

After all, he was her key to Zariel’s bloody demise. It was a fair exchange. He just didn’t need to know that.

“Just admiring the sights,” she said, and looked back at the devil she was getting to know a damn lot better than before. Raphael had shut his eyes, brow furrowed and breathing fast, clearly trying to regain some semblance of control. And that, she knew, would not do. The less in control he was, the more chances she had to turn the negotiations her way.

So she pushed aside hesitation, strode to the bed, and tilted up Raphael’s face. He blinked his eyes open, as though startled by the touch, and swallowed. “The crown,” he breathed, and Tav smiled. Her other hand went down to her folds, two fingers slipping in and coming out slick and glistening. She pressed them to Raphael’s mouth and he parted his lips to let them in, eyes falling shut with a shiver. His tongue felt too warm, too, and Tav licked her lips.

“Yes,” she rasped, pushing him against Haarlep’s chest. The incubus leaned back, arms braced on the mattress behind them, and Raphael could only tilt back against them, groaning at the shift of the cock inside him. Tav straddled him, letting his erection barely brush against her labia, just enough to let him feel how warm she was, and how wet. His breath hitched, eyes fluttering open, and she smiled again. “Let’s talk about the crown I’m going to place on your head. I’d like to see you with that on. Just the crown.”

A hand through his hair, the press of lips against his own, and Raphel’s hands gripped her sides hard enough to bruise, pulling her flush against him, chest to chest. She blinked, taken aback, but then she felt him part his lips to let her tongue in and ah, may as well. She kissed him, more roughly and a good deal more enthusiastically than she had originally planned.

“I think he likes us,” she recalled Astarion saying, and she recalled her reply just as well.

"I like him too, but I'd never say it to his smarmy face."

Well. She was not saying anything of the sort, and he didn’t look all that smarmy anymore, so her point still stood. She heard, dimly, Haarlep’s throaty chuckle.

“This one’s eager, pet. Didn’t even need my saliva to help along.”

There was something that sounded very much like a growl deep in Raphael’s chest, and he pulled away from Tav’s mouth to turn and snap at Haarlep to be quiet. Or try to, because it took the incubus only a jolt of their hips for his words to turn into a moan.

“You be quiet, little brat. You’re no one’s master tonight, remember?” they whispered against his ear, and smiled at Tav over his shoulder. “I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, by the way. I’m always telling Raphael he should introduce me to his friends more often. Alas, he expressly forbade me to play with you. Never seen him get this jealous.”

“That’s not--” Raphael gasped, and Haarlep silenced him with a few swift thrusts. Still straddling Raphael, Tav grasped his shoulders to avoid being thrown off; his cock rubbed against her folds, only for a moment, but it tore a gasp from her and a moan from Raphael. He dropped his forehead against Tav’s shoulder, gasping, and Tav cupped the back of his head without thinking, stroked down the back of his neck before she finally, finally , allowed herself to sink down on him.

“Oh…” A sigh, and she closed her eyes, taking a moment to savor the feeling, the stretch. She was wet and he slid in so easily, so deep. Was it supposed to feel that warm? Was it a devil thing? Did it matter? Probably not; it felt good either way. Against her skin, Raphael let out an incoherent noise and grasped her again, pulling her close.

Don’t worry, I’m going nowhere, she almost said, but what left her mouth was quite different.

“This is going to be quite a tale,” she groaned, her voice rough, and rocked her hips. “That I bedded the archdevil supreme. No one’s going to believe me.”

A shudder, and there was no telling what had caused it - the heat of her around him, her movements, or her words. Either way, he pulled back enough to look at her. There it was, in the midst of pleasure - that hungry look again. “You shall give me the crown,” he rasped, and Tav smiled.

“I want to give you the crown just as much as you want to put an end to the Grand Design. But like you, I have conditions.” A kiss, deep, a slow tilt of her hips. Haarlep moved again beneath them, inside Raphael, and somehow it was easy to match their movements, find the right rhythm. Raphael’s breaths came in shuddering gasps, but he did not call for either of them to stop. “So I have come with a counteroffer.”

A scoff. “There is no counteroffer to be-- made,” he groaned through clenched teeth.

A smile, a kiss. “You forget,” Tav whispered against his lips, rocking slowly, “that I have a backup plan, and you do not.”

“Trusting-- ah-- an Illithid is no plan. It’s sheer-- ngh-- idiocy.”

“Ah, but I thrive on idiocy. Idiocy got me this far.” She stilled, clenched around him, and muffled the noise that got out of him with another kiss. “It might just carry me a little further. If the Emperor can help us destroy the Netherbrain, with or without Orpheus - and you know he can - then we’ll have no reason to give you the crown. Why risk it all without hearing me out?” A light bite on his lower lip. “You’ll find my requests more than reasonable.”

Raphael scowled, but he tilted back his head against Haarlep’s shoulder, and closed his eyes. When she leaned in to nip at his throat, she felt him swallow. “... What are your requests?” he finally groaned.

Well, this is it. Best to start small.

“There are two requests that you can satisfy with little more than a snap of your fingers, I’m sure. Two of my companions carry their doom in their chests. I know that with the Crown of Karsus, you can remove the orb from Gale quite readily - and without harming him. And someone capable of creating the Orphic Hammer surely knows how to fix an infernal engine so it can work on this plane without killing its bearer.”

A low, breathy chuckle. “Of course. These will be trivial matters to me.”

“So is that something you’d be willing to add to the contract?”

“Consider it done. Will that-- ah-- ” Raphael trailed off for a moment, trembling, before he caught his voice again. “Will that be all?”

“Not quite. I want to make it clear that no soul but mine will be involved.” She ground against him, hard, and grasped his chin to make sure he’d look at her. His eyes opened, wide and dark, to meet hers. “The crown for the hammer, and for your help for Gale and Karlach, with my soul - mine alone - as the collateral if I fail to deliver the crown. If I deliver it to you, as I intend to, my soul will remain my own.”

Tav watched Raphael’s brow furrow, watched him think it over with as much difficulty one can experience while being fucked by an incubus and a woman at the same time, and finally watched him jerk his head in a nod. “Yes, that is-- ah-- reasonable,” he panted. His hands ran down her back, down her sides, and stopped on her thighs. “Will that-- be all?”

“Not quite.” A kiss, rough. “Another collateral seems fair. You said you’ll limit your rule to the Nine Hells of Baator.”

“And I shall,” Raphael replied, trying to bite her lip, but she was too quick to pull back. She smiled, brushing a hand down his chest, down his stomach, almost to the point where their bodies joined. Her fingers brushed against his shaft, causing him to shudder.

“I want that in writing, binding you to relinquish the crown’s ownership to Mystra if you break the clause.”

As she had very much expected, Raphael stilled beneath her. He glowered, anger crossing his features even through the daze of pleasure. “No,” he all but growled, and seemed about to add something - but Haarlep rocked into him harder than before, Tav clenched around him, and his voice broke into a groan. Haarlep winked at her; it cost Tav some effort not to openly smile back.

If she succeeded in her mission, she would probably owe the incubus a favor. Oh well. Something could be worked out, surely.

“No?” she repeated, all fake innocence. She cupped Raphael’s cheek, looking at him in the eye. Her thumb brushed over his lips. “But you have already pledged to keep to the Hells. Putting that in writing should be no trouble at all. Why would it be?”

Because he’d had no intention whatsoever to be true to that pledge, was the obvious answer, but it wasn’t something he could admit without showing his hand. She knew it, he knew it, and he was livid about it.

… Not livid enough to push her off him, however. She took note of that while waiting for a response. She watched him clench his jaw, then make an effort to smooth his expression.

“It rather hurts,” he rasped, voice so low, “to see my word doesn’t carry enough weight for you.”

Tav couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “No one’s word does.” She leaned in to kiss the bridge of his nose. “ Verba volant, scripta manent. You of all people would know what that means. You’d be a poor devil indeed, not to take advantage of the lack of a written clause. I’d be disappointed if you didn’t at least try, and you have never disappointed so far.”

He still scowled, but when she pulled back he reached to grasp her head, to pull her mouth back on his. It was a rough, devouring kiss - the first such initiative from his part - and she yielded to it immediately. She sighed into his mouth, wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her hips again, pressing him down on Haarlep with her meager weight. She swallowed his groan, and shuddered when he bit into her lower lip - not hard enough to draw blood but oh, almost. For a few moments all she could hear was his panting breath, her own thumping heart, and the slick noises they made as she rocked against him again.

And then, finally, a groan. “... Very well,” he rasped. “It will be clearly stated in the contract--”

“Which will be written in common tongue,” she cut him off. “For me to ready before I sign. With a copy for me to keep.”

This time, she felt the frustrated growl in his chest more than she heard it. His hands, which had been going down her spine, stilled. “Infernal contracts,” he bit out, obviously short on breath, “are meant to be written in Infernal. It’s very much in the name, little mouse.”

Tav leaned her cheek on his shoulder, and bit at his earlobe. “A certified translation, then, with witnesses,” she panted. He felt hot to the touch and so did she, unbearably so, skin slick with sweat. Still she pressed her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. Cherries and musk, yes, and despite the lingering sulfur it was sweet, sweet, intoxicating. Pressure was building up, white-hot. She had to bite her lower lip not to moan. “A-- and a clause that makes the contract null and void-- if the translation differs in any way,” she managed.

Another groan, part frustration and part arousal, as he shuddered beneath her. “This is-- not the norm, with any contract--”

“But this isn’t any contract, Raphael.” She pulled back, despite the tight grasp around her, to press a kiss against his lips. “This is the one that will make you the archdevil supreme of all Baator.”

“I’ve extended-- more than enough grace--”

“I only want guarantees for what you already promised.” Tav cut him off, and smiled against his lips before pulling away, arching her back. To her satisfaction, Raphael had to bite his lips to silence a moan. She placed both hands on his chest, and rocked her hips. She was close - Gods, was she close - and he was still hard within her, so warm, unable to finish.

“Contracts can be changed, if both parties agree,” she managed through ragged breaths. “The ruler of all Hells may yet convince me to revise it.” Absolutely not, but you’re welcome to try. If I truly can take that crown from a Netherbrain I’ll be able to take it from you, if I must. “And you’ll have plenty of time to do so. I’ll come to the Hells and join your war.” Let me be the one to cut down Zariel, and I’ll follow you to the Ninth. “We can make-- a separate contract, if you like. I won’t leave until I see you sit on Asmodeus’ throne.”

For a moment, Raphael truly seemed at a loss for words. He stared, eyes wide, as though struggling to make sense of what he’d just heard. Even his grip on her hips slackened. “You-- I--”

“Oh, please let her come over. She’s fun. We could use some fun.”

Haarlep’s voice caused him to recoil, as though he’d somehow forgotten about their presence despite the cock buried inside him. Though come to think of it, Tav hadn’t felt Haarlep move for… several minutes, at least.

“You-- this is none of your concern, incubus-- and why did you stop? ” Raphael bit out, turning to glare at the incubus in question. They were leaning back on their elbows, head tilted, and grinned widely before thrusting upwards in a smooth motion. Raphael shuddered, and pressed his mouth against Tav’s shoulder to muffle a groan.

“Ah, my apologies. The two of you were such a fun spectacle to watch,” Haarlep muttered, and sat up, chest once again pressing against Raphael’s back. “You want to finish, don’t you, little brat?” Another upward thrust, another moan against Tav’s skin. “Then wrap up the conversation, pet. It’s impolite to keep a lady waiting for an answer.”

A growl, and Raphael lifted his head to look Tav in the eyes. Shortly after their first meeting, she recalled Gale claiming he’d seen a spark of Hellfire in his eyes. She’d thought he was just being dramatic at the time, but now, up close… oh, she could see it too, and more than a spark. It made her breath catch, pleasure coiling in her loins. Her grip on his shoulders tightened when he spoke, his voice low.

“... Very well. But you will get me that crown, little mouse. If you refuse, I will have your soul. If you fail to get it for me and die, I’ll still have your soul. Am I clear?”

A nod, a shuddering breath. “Yes,” she managed. “That sounds-- ah-- fair.”

“We have-- a deal, then,” Raphael breathed, and Tav claimed his lips again. Negotiations concluded, she could finally let go of the last shreds of self control and ride him in earnest, grinding hard against him. Her ears were buzzing and all her limbs felt so heavy and so light all of a sudden, her body flushing hot and cold at the same time.

Distantly, she heard Haarlep laugh, and Raphael cry out. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how that had to feel for him, with both her and Haarlep moving fast and hard, around him and inside him, keeping him trapped between them as they took their pleasure, unable to move and helplessly feeling it all.

Later, Tav wouldn't know for how long it went on. Too long, probably. Not long enough, surely. She teetered on the edge of orgasm and she was sure she’d break, but she did not. Or at least, she was not the first to break.

“Haarlep--” Raphael cried out against Tav’s neck, and something suspiciously like a sob wracked his body; the face pressed against her skin felt too wet for it to be just sweat. The incubus let out a low, rumbling chuckle. Tav felt their hand slip between them, down Raphael’s stomach and then lower, the back of it barely brushing against her as the fingers toyed with the ring at the base of Raphael’s cock.

“You want it off, don’t you, little duke?”

“Yes-- yes-- ”

“Beg.”

Another sob, and something dripped down Tav’s neck, down her shoulder. Raphael’s arms were gripping her tightly, as if he was desperately trying to ground himself to something. “Please,” he choked out, and somehow the desperation in his voice was what finally pushed Tav over the edge.

The orgasm was almost blinding, mind-numbing in its intensity, wave after wave of pleasure up her spine. She clenched around him and shuddered hard enough she almost thought, for a moment, that she might seize and die. What a way to go, she thought, barely coherent, holding onto the only Raphael for dear life. A hell of a way to go. If her heart stopped now, she wasn’t sure she’d have complaints.

She never had to find out, though, because her heart did not stop. It kept beating wildly in her chest when her shudders died down and she went limp against Raphael, panting, head spinning. Against her ear, Raphael keened.

“Please!”

A chuckle, and now even the incubus sounded breathless. “Good boy,” they said, and reached down again. Tav did not see or feel what they did, but suddenly the ring was gone and Raphael muffled a cry against her, his entire body shuddering. And maybe it was her mind playing tricks on her, but Tav could have sworn even his come felt warmer than it had any right to be. She clenched around him reflexively, still mostly spent, and Raphael trembled before he, too, went limp.

“There, little brat. Take it,” Haarlep was murmuring, and thrust their hips upwards one last time before stilling and closing their eyes with a long, pleased sigh. “Oh, this was so much better than usual…”

They said something else, probably, but Tav was beyond hearing it. She must have blacked out, or something like it, because it felt as though she’d only blinked and then she opened her eyes to find herself leaning on her side on the bed, empty and panting, a sticky and cooling mess on the inside of her thighs. She was vaguely aware of the fact Haarlep was sitting at the foot of the bed, saying something about the pool in the next room; but she didn’t look up, couldn’t lift her head.

And neither, it seemed, could Raphael. He was still holding onto her, face wet and burrowed against her throat, breathing ragged. His frame trembled; she reached to brush his hair back without thinking, nails scraping gently against his scalp. She wasn’t sure how long she did that, mind empty of all thought, but eventually their breathing slowed, his trembling subsided. Her fingers tangled once more in Raphael’s hair and did not move again. He remained still, too, his breathing slow and steady against her skin.

Tav closed her eyes, and let herself fall into nothingness. Somewhere in that darkness on the brink of sleep she saw the Crown of Karsus on Raphael’s head, saw Zariel’s broken body at his feet, saw her head in her hands.

And she smiled.

***

[Back to Act I]

[On to Act III]

#bg3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 tav #bg3 raphael #bg3 haarlep #tiefling tav #female tav #raphael bg3 #deal in three acts

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eliaca · 4 months

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Saskia Reeves Breaks Down Jackson Lamb’s Shocking Betrayal

TheWrap: At first, Catherine is very touched that Lamb has come to her rescue. And then he tells her that her late boss was a traitor who was setting her up to take the fall for him. That’s a huge, huge betrayal.

Saskia Reeves: Yeah. It’s a shocking moment for her. Which is why I think she says, if you don’t mind my French, “F,U. Jackson Lamb, f—k the lot of you.” I think she’s just had it, that’s it. She’s had enough. And Catherine never swears. Jackson Lamb swears all the time, but she never swears. So that was quite a big thing for her to do that.

So of all the things that Lamb says to Catherine, what do you think was the most hurtful?

That Charles was only keeping her close because she was a drunk. [Lamb] helped her go to rehab. He helped her, she thought, recover. And I think after Charles Partner was killed, or when he committed suicide, as she thinks, she fell off the wagon a few times.

Lamb tells her, doesn’t he, in the end of Season 1 that he gave Charles Partner the gun. But she always blamed herself for his death. And she falls off the wagon, and then gets back on it because otherwise she’d probably kill herself.

And that’s when Lamb picks her up and says, “Okay, I’m going to offer you a job.” I imagine her self-esteem is very low. It’s a job that she can do incredibly well. She hasn’t sunk to the bottom like all the other [agents in Slough House].

She really gets a chance to shine this season as she gains the trust of her kidnappers and mines them for information.

I don’t know if anybody would have quite approached it the way she did. Knowing what she knows, and getting sort of caught up in their emotional reason why they need the information that they need. You have to remember she’s not a spy. She’s a secretary, a very, very good secretary.

Do you think Lamb is actually fond of her?

Yes. They’ve been part of MI5 since before the [Berlin] wall came down, they’ve been through so much together. They know the same people from before. And they’re both more analog than digital. She knows [he used to be an] exemplary member of MI5. And he knows her to be an incredibly experienced supporter of the head of MI5. I think he respects her, but he’s also a frightful bully and, and in some areas, a coward who doesn’t want to face his own alcoholism.

So he pushes her, he keeps pushing her to see how far she’ll go, to test her. I think she interprets that as, “He’s trying to break me. He’s trying to push me off the wagon, and I refuse to be pushed off the wagon.” And the longer she stays sober, the stronger she gets. And I love how strong she is. She’s very smart. And she’s kind but she’s f—ked up. Which is what holds them all together, isn’t it?

He has one one big secret left: As the viewers already know, he was the one who killed Charles.

Right. That hasn’t come out yet. Which is why when she asks him, “Do we kill our own?,” she’s not aware of how close she is to the truth.

I haven’t read the books but I assume that does come out at some point.

It does come out, but I can’t remember which book it happens in. I’ve read them all a few times.

Actually, it’s a conversation I want to have with the showrunner Will Smith. What are we going to do with this piece of humming knowledge, this thing that won’t go away? This thing that Jackson did, but he did it under the umbrella of David Cartwright (Jonathan Pryce). And that relationship will be unfolded in Season 4.

We get a few glimpses of Catherine in the Season 4 teaser trailer. Will we see her back at Slough House?

I can’t say anything!

Source: Sharon Knolle - The Wrap

#Catherine Standish #Jackson Lamb #Slow Horses #SHS3 #Saskia Reeves

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soulofapatrick · 1 year

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It’s Yours - Tommy Miller x Reader

Summary: You find out you’re pregnant with Tommy’s baby but you panic and turn to Joel for help which gives Tommy the wrong idea when he finds out

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: angst and eventual fluff

Y/N’s POV

My heart is in my throat when I pound my fist on Joel’s door, only stopping when the door flies open to reveal a panicked and bedhead Joel, his honey eyes wide until he sees it’s just me. Concern and worry replaces his features as he takes in my dishevelled and tear stained appearance, ushering me inside then wrapping me up in his bigs strong arms once he’s made sure the front door is closed behind us. The smallest amount of comforting is all it takes for the damn to break and I’m sobbing, not crying but full on chest hurting sobbing and Joel’s leading me to the couch to calm down.

“Now sweetheart, what’s gotten you in such a state?” He asks, holding my face in his hands and thumb brushing away new tears that spill from my eyes. I have to take a deep breath and I try to speak but nothing happens so I grip one of his wrists and guide it to my stomach. He looks down at his hand splayed over it and eyes widen again as he asks, “Does Tommy know?”

“I don’t know how to tell him I’m pregnant with his kid.” I choke out and Joel just pulls me into another hug, rocking me calmingly as he begins humming a song from his past. It’s always helped me relax and soon enough I can breathe properly again but I don’t remove myself from his arms. I’ve been close with the Miller brothers ever since I came to Jackson, so close everyone thought they were both banging me which… no. Joel is definitely attractive in his own way but he’s a brother figure to me, he’s the person I go to when I need help with something I wouldn’t be able to explain to Tommy. Joel and I are flames likened to the harsh world out there and we can relate to each other, having been protectors of someone younger and getting them here safely. We had to step up and be protectors and alike is all we are. Two parallel lines and nothing more, platonic soulmates or twin flames if you believe in those things.

Tommy on the other hand? We were drawn together in another way, our paths needing to cross. It wasn’t long after I came to Jackson that we had begun falling into bed with each other, ignoring the obvious feelings we had for each other until Joel had gotten fed up with me turning up to his crying. Joel had sat me and Tommy down and refused to let us leave until we had addressed the feelings and it worked because after that it wasn’t just sex or we weren’t hiding from everyone what went on behind closed door. Congratulations were said and a few ‘finally’s when we told people we were dating. Soon enough I moved from my small bungalow into his house with him and we gained a routine, slipping into it so easily neither of us really noticed it at first.

“I’ll be here for as long as you need but you can’t keep it from him Y/N. He needs to know he’s going to be a father.” Joel tells me, smoothing down my hair and making me look him in the eyes, waiting for me to acknowledge that I understand and that he’s right so I just give him a small nod. I’m barely able to process that I’m carrying a child that is be mine and Tommy’s so how will he react when he finds out? Oh fuck, I’m scared, Joel’s nodding towards the spare room, “Get some sleep and we’ll talk more in the morning.”

Joel and I did not in fact discuss it in the morning as I was not in the right mental state to have him corner me and speak logic that would have me hanging my head in defeat and telling Tommy. Joel found me on the floor of his kitchen, eating a tub of ice cream and crying, looking up at him with guilt in my eyes when he stood there with his hands on his hips and a soft fondness in his eyes when he shook his head. “I’m not ready to tell Tommy.” He’s so bright and full of sunshine and I don’t want to lose that. I’ve seen the shift in moods and attitudes between others in Jackson when they found out they were expecting and were going to bring up a child in a world like this. Then again they never got to see the beauty of the world that was beyond these four walls protecting Jackson, of the lush fields and the beauty of nature taking her rightful place in cities. Despite the world being ravished by infected there pockets of peace and breathtaking wonder and most in Jackson never get to see it, too scared to leave the walls but they should. At least once.

The next time Joel saw me was at the Tipsy Bison where I was sat with Tommy, Ellie, Jesse and Dina. He slid into the booth next to Ellie and flicked his eyes at Tommy quickly but I just shake my head slightly. No, I haven’t told Tommy yet that there is a tiny child growing inside me that is equal parts me and him. It’s scary and Maria’s placing a beer in front of me that Joel is snatching away quicker than anyone can react. The questioning looks and the suspicious glare from Tommy has a wave of nausea washing over me and I’m stumbling out of the booth and out of the Tispy Bison. The freezing winter air hitting me and I don’t get much further away before I’m bending over and hurling into the snow, the nausea being my enemy the last three weeks.

Gentle and familiar hands begin rubbing my back and holding me hair out of my face, Joel making sure I’m okay before the door of the Tispy Bison slams open to reveal a fuming Tommy. He’s pissed, looking between me and Joel and eyes falling to the way my hand is settled protectively over my belly and that anger is replaced with pain.

“YOU’RE FUCKING MY BROTHER? HE’S GOT YOU KNOCKED UP, HASN’T HE?” Tommy’s practically screaming and I’m flinching, placing a hand on Joel’s arm when the dumbass tries to stand between me and Tommy protectively not realising that would make it so much worse. Instead, I cautiously make my way over to my fuming partner, a pained sound leaving my throat when he flinches away from my hand brought up to cup his cheek and he spits out, “No, don’t fucking touch me.”

“Thomas James Miller, now you listen here,” I use the sternest voice I can and grab his face, forcing him to look at me and swallowing back the lump trying to clog my throat at the tears simmering in his cognac eyes, “Joel is just a brother to me and honestly, eww, I’d never hit that,” Joel lets out an indignant sound but doesn’t interrupt, “Tommy, the child I’m carrying… it’s yours and I couldn't be more happier it’s yours.”

“Mine?” His eyes flick from my face to my stomach and back, his hands flailing somewhat as he doesn’t know what to do so I grab his wrists and place both of his hands to my stomach. A choked sound leaves his lips and he’s surging forwards, drawing me into a kiss that steals the air from my lungs. It’s sweet and hot at the same time, full of love and passion that has me gasping for more when he pulls away but he’s sinking to his knees in the snow. He’s pushing up my shirt and jacket to stare at my currently flat belly, too early for any signs to physically show.

“Tommy.” My voice catches in my throat at the sight of him, face open and full of love, it’s a little overwhelming but nothing I could ever want to change. He leans towards my stomach and presses a kiss there before whispering how he’s gonna protect us and keep us safe and be the best dad he can and I think I break down right then and there as the next thing I know is I’m also on my knees in the snow and Tommy’s hugging me, both of us crying.

“Saps.” Joel snorts but there’s warmth to his tone and I know from this moment onwards everything is going to work out.

------------

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diviinaee · 1 year

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The Story of Quinn and Darlin' .

today. I will talk about the way Erik has approached abuse and the role of the abuser and the victim through the story of Darlin' and Quinn.

I will be very honest. I will be talking about this topic with my own experiences on mind as well. This is not in any way me saying how the metaphor is canonly used because I am not Erik and this is very much just an interpretation that I thought would be nice to share because I really think Erik is a brilliant writer

so now. tws : descriptions of abuse, emotional trauma, victim-blaming, manipulation, shame, helplessness, intrusive thoughts, and isolation

I have struggled ALOT on how to state all of this. But my philosophical mind pushed me to write this analysis.

Darlin' has always been a favorite listener of mine since I first started listening to Redacted. Their want for vengeance, lack of self preservation, moral ambiguity, etc. has always fascinated me. It was the first time that I ever saw a listemer character be given such a complex character and backstory. It was powerful enough to indicate them as a character in a story, but also ambiguous enough to be left to the interpretation of the listener. Of course this also applies to all the other listeners but that's besides the point.

From Sam's first ever solo vid, Darlin' is shown as a character that is rough around the edges, impulsive, self-destructive, and antagonistic. They are the lone wolf who is seeking revenge. Its obvious that there is a deeper explanation to rheir character, but it is left up in the air. The immediate connection between Sam and Darlin' activates an alliance between the two characters. Darlin has a dark history with this vampire and Sam s just gained a new progeny due to said vampire. They both want revenge. And they both agree to help each other get it

In Sam's second video, we are shown how self-destructive Darlin' is. They refuse to bother anyone for the help they clearly need. This very common among victims of abuse. A research study shows that this ingrained fear, lack of knowledge about alternatives, systemic isolation leading to a mistrust in others, and physical and psychological confinement is what causes many victims to be afraid to ask for help. They are afraid of the outcome. The people who have no knowledge of their trauma could develop negative views. But with Sam, it's safe. There is no hurt.

Ok now i think yall got my point. EVERYODY GOT TRAUMA IN THIS HOUSEHOLD.

Now, let's fast foward to now. Quinn is sittimg in an interrogation room with Sam while Darlin', David, and strangers are witnessing this exchange through mirrored glass.

Quinn is deliberately exposing Darlin's past. Their mate, their family, strangers, and honestly anyone who sees the interrogation tape are hearing the parts of Darlin' that they've wanted to bury away from the world.

"Because there is no greater pain I can give them than denying them....closure."

I will be extremely honest. Erik hit the bullseye on this one. Closure gives us an understanding of what went wrong on our end, which can help us grow and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Without it, the mind can turn into a horrid cycle of overthinking and suffering.

Quinn is right. The worst thing he can do from his position is deny Darlin' closure. Because after this, his memory will haunt them forever. The memories of him abusing and manipulating them will last for an eternity. And they will be powerless against it.

"Oh, they trusted me. They trusted me with every part of them. I was the safe place for all those ugly thoughts in their head because they knew that what was in my head, was much worse. That I wouldn't judge them for it. That they could ask me to do anything to them, and I'd do it, with a smile. Anything for my precious. Are you enjoying my sloppy seconds?"

I know many people were pissed off with Quinn for saying this (rightfully so because so did I) but I want to dive into this whole part.

This just shows how hurt Darlin' was even before Quinn. They felt broken to the point where they only found comfort in a greater evil than what they thought they had. I know many people weren't able to see the sneak peak Erik released earlier this month, but I'm going to reference it for my next point. He basically just showed Quinn's icon with the song 'That's The Way Boys Are' by Lesley Gore, which illustrates an abusive relationship where the singer is trying to redeem their abuser because "that's just how it is". This resembles Darlin and Quinn's relationship perfectly. It shows why Darlin' stayed for as long as they did. Because the familiarity of the pain felt like safety.

We often learned early in our primary relationships (parents, siblings, friends, etc) what we had to do to receive love, and often times this meant giving up our own needs to serve somebody else. The chaos, unpredictability, abuse, pain, and suffering feels safe when they were entangled with love.

Darlin' was taught that love had to come with that pain. All they wanted in the end was love from someone who cared.

As I've said before, this is in no way me saying that this is exactly what Erik wanted to when he released this story. This is entirely an interpretation that I felt like writing because if I didn't I probably would've just cried to my notes app at 3am 😝🫶🏽

I am very excited to see the way this will end. AGAIN. Erik is a genius, brilliant writer and I cannot put into words how much his videos bring about such stories that feel so realistic to the point where people like me can see ourselves. Where we can live out a reality where we healed the way we wanted.

Ok enough of me rambling because I FORGOT ABOUT 2 ESSAYS THAT ARE DUE IN LIKE 4 HOURS SO IMMA GO DO THAT NOW TOODLESS😻🫶🏽‼️

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted darlin #redacted quinn

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anime-lover-forever-1127 · 1 year

Text

Caroline Castle {Klaus Mikaelson/Caroline Forbes}

Caroline Castle

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Disclaimer - (Cause fanfiction is tricky ground and I hope not to offend the creator of the original story and get sued)

I do not own "The Vampire Diaries", it belongs to its original creator Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, and L. J. Smith. Nor do I own "The Originals", which belongs to its rightful creator Julie Plec, Michael Narducci, Leslie Morgenstein, Gina Girolamo. This is only a fanfiction, it is a piece of nonprofit work - that I was inspired to write by the original work. Please support the official release of "The Vampire Diaries" and "The Originals". All of the characters come from the original works. Most of the media - such as the art and illustrations, gifs, video's, etc. used in this fanfiction - are from the internet/web/online. To fit the story, images can/are also edited (usually by me) using various apps and websites. So these images aren't mine; just edited a lot of the time.

Also if you own a picture or Video that I found online, and you either want your name added, or me to take it down. Please contact me and we can talk it out. P.s. I do not give permission to copy (and/or translate) my fanfiction/work and publish it onto any other website.

Warnings: Hayley Bashing, Elijah Bashing, Blood, Klaus is scared of heartbreak, but that doesn't stop him from pinning, Klaus is pinning hard, Klaus is finally working up the nerve to talk to Caroline (Me: and it only took him a thousand years - Other Me: come on leave the poor hybrid alone, he has PTSD from emotions in general), Angst (Because Kol is a little shit who has all the tea but refuses to spill it)

Word Count:

Requested By: Animeloverforever1127

Summary: Caroline is Lucian's little sister, gets bitten by Hayley, and when Klaus hears what happened, he's more than ready to open a vein for his one true love.

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Today's Special

Would he find her?

Without question.

Would he save her?

Always.

~Lauren Kate

----------

Caroline winced as she touched the wound that was festering on her upper arm, as its toxin began to spread throughout her body.

"God damn it Elijah." Caroline cursed, wanting to press down on the wound to make the pain stop, but she knew it would only make it hurt more in the end.

Her brother came back to her with a glass of blood, which she accepted with a small smile that was quickly followed by a wince.

"That man sure has a habit of screwing you over doesn't he." Lucian tried to joke, but his smile quickly faded as he saw the blood next to nothing to help his sister. "Damn Elijah and his bitch. I'm going to cure you." He promised, taking his sister's hand in his.

Caroline shook her head, as she shifted so her injured limb wasn't touching the couch. "There's only one cure, and he won't help me. Not after what I said."

"That wasn't your fault and you know it." Her older brother reminded her. "Elijah made you do it."

"It's too late now. He has a child... he has her." Caroline said weakly.

Lucian frowned at the reminder of the hybrid that had bit his sister. "I'm going to get you that cure. You hear me. You're not dying." he said, not wavering.

His voice reminded her of when they were kids, and he'd steal extra food from the kitchen, even if being caught surely meant a fate worse than death. It reminded her of when she was a child, and all she could count on was Lucian. "I give you my word, sister."

----------

Lucian stormed onto the Mikaelson's property without a care, instantly gaining all the residents that were currantly at home's attention.

Kol, Freya, and Klaus came into the entrance.

The hybrid was surprised to see the first vampire he sired there, "Lucian." Klaus greeted. "Why don't you come in?"

But Castle's only family was at stake here, so he didn't have any time for Klaus' games, "Cut the act Klaus, your plan worked. I'll give you whatever you want. Just give me the bloody cure."

"What on earth are you bloody blabbering on about?" Klaus asked, confused.

Lucian's eyes widened as he realized Klaus truly had no idea what had happened. "What? Your precious baby mama didn't tell you? She didn't tell you who she bit?"

When the hybrid stayed silent, Lucian let out a chuckle, "Here's a hint for you. Tall, blond, gorgeous blue eyes, sun touched hair." Klaus' eyes widened, but the other vampire wasn't done. "Tongue sharper than a knife. You used to call her love, in fact I believe she was the first woman you called that."

"God dammit Hayley." Kol said, letting out a curse underneath her breath.

"Lead me to her." Klaus ordered without hesitation.

The other blond nodded, and flashes out of the room, the hybrid quickly following on his heels.

----------

"Are you here to kill me-" Caroline asked the man in the doorway, only to be interrupted by a wince of pain as the werewolf bite progressed, "-yourself?"

Klaus frowned, "Do you really think that low of me?"

Caroline remembered the night they parted ways, all too clearly.

How confused she felt, as her body betrayed her. Unable to control any of her actions.

How she begged, screamed, and cried. Trapped in her own mind, unable to do anything but watch as he listened to every world she didn't mean.

How she silently pleaded with him to understand what was happening, that she was begging for help.

But he didn't.

He couldn't see her pain.

He didn't know her at all.

He left...

"Yes." Kol's first sireling answered.

The look that appeared on Klaus face, the hurt, sadness, and betrayal, nearly made her want to take it back. But before she could, Klaus quikly masked it.

Klaus forced himself to steal his resolve.

He didn't know what he was hoping for.

She considered him a monster, incapable of love all those years ago. So why would he expect it to be any different now?

He was tempted to let her die here.

It would be so much easier.

No longer having to worry about the hold she'd have on his heart.

He was so very tempted to.

It's all he could think about on the way here.

But seeing her now.

He knew he couldn't let her die.

He couldn't let her light fade from this world.

He'd rather live with the fear, than live in a world without her.

He couldn't let her die.

As long as he lived, he'd keep her light alive, no matter what it cost.

Be it his own heart.

So Klaus didn't hesitate in using his fangs to slice open his wrist, and brought the bloody wrist up to the blond woman's mouth.

Once the cure worked its way through her system, it didn't take long for exhaustion to win over, and her eyes to close as she fell asleep.

Klaus leaned against her headboard, and let his fingers trail through her hair, like he'd longed to do for centuries.

He's thought about it.

Seeking her out.

It wasn't until three centuries after the incident that he began searching for her, wondering if she was even alive.

It was hilarious now, the notion.

Of course she'd survive.

She didn't just survive, she thrived as a vampire.

At first he'd just kept up with her through the gossip mill informing him of her activities. Then that game of telephone just wasn't cutting it, and he had men follow her from a distance.

This ensured that his influence was always there.

Ready to take care of any man, or woman, that was blessed with her attention for longer than his liking.

But soon, that wasn't enough.

So only a few centuries after that, he began actively seeking her out himself. Never getting too close to let her know, but each time, he was closer and closer.

He's visited her four times personally. Each time, a little closer than the last.

The last time he'd seen her, was after Mikael had burned half of New Orleans to the ground, and he believed his only son to be dead.

He got close enough to hear her laugh.

Her laugh, so light and bright, lightened his burden. As if he was taking his first breath in months.

Yet, the fear of experiencing the same rejection she pierced his heart with that night, kept him away.

----------

The first thing Klaus did when he entered the manor, was locate Elijah. He flashed to the courtyard, to see Hayley, Rebekah, and Freya there as well.

Without paying the women any mind, he greeted his brother with a right hook to the face, holding nothing back. The blow threw Elijah back several feet, knocking him to the ground.

"Niklaus!"

"Nik!"

"What the hell!" Hayley said, trying to get between them, only to be pushed back by Klaus.

"Oh, don't you worry. You're next." Klaus growled.

Elijah slowly stood up, worried that his brother had finally discovered what he had done all those years ago.

How his one act changed the course of his brother's life completely.

"What the hell were you thinking approaching Caroline, with Hayley! And then letting her bite her. Do you have any idea what could have happened if I hadn't gotten to her in time!" The hybrid shouted, the anger in his voice ringing clearly.

"It had to be done. The Castle's were getting too bold. Hope-"

But before Elijah could finish, Klaus had his hand wrapped around his throat. "Don't." He growled. "Don't you dare use my daughter's name to hurt the one woman I've ever cared about. I've dealt with you daggering me, betraying me, and choosing a bunch of mutts over your own family! All for Hope's protection. But if you so much as think about laying a finger on Caroline, and doing it in Hope's name, I swear to god you will never see Hope again. She may be your niece, but I'M her father." Klaus said, dropping Elijah.

"Niklaus!" Freya tried to chastise. "I get you care for her. But threatening to take Hope away and tear our family apart over-"

But the witch was cut off by her sister, "Enough Freya."

Rebekah could understand where her brother was coming from. She was the only one there through it all, after all. She'd seen her brother's draw countless pictures of Caroline.

How he was caught in an endless cycle of painting her, then burning every single one, once he realized they were only a cheap imitation of her.

How he'd longed to see her one more time, to find out why she rejected him, only for the fear of feeling the same heartache once again, keeping him away.

Klaus then turned to Hayley, the she-wolf taking a step back at the dangerous look in his eyes. "If you ever," He growled, the gold of his werewolf emerging in his eyes, "go near Caroline again. I will hunt down every single member of that family you long for, for so long. And I will kill each and every single one of them in front of you."

Hayley flinched at that, "Y-you can't."

"I can," Klaus corrected her, "and I will. I won't leave Hope without her mother, but I will leave you without your pack. Do you understand?"

When Hayley gave him a shaky nod, Klaus began to walk out of the room. Before he left, he stopped and glanced at his sisters.

"That goes for you as well. Touch her, and I can make Dahlia seem like a dream." Klaus warned Freya, before turning to Rebekah, who already had one of her hands up, and in front of her, stopping him.

"You don't have to worry about me. I got the message loud and clear." The youngest original said.

Klaus gave Rebekah a nod, before walking out of the room.

Leaving an exhausted Rebekah, a confused Freya, a scared Hayley, and a relieved Elijah behind.

----------

He didn't know if it was misfortune or luck, but it was only three days later that Klaus saw her again.

The hybrid was walking down the city streets, when he caught a glimpse of her inside a coffee shop, reading a book.

She hadn't noticed him yet.

He could walk away. Spare himself any heartache.

Yet, he found himself walking inside the shop. The wind chimes on top of the door, causing her to look up and catch his eyes.

They both froze, unsure of what to do.

Caroline was the first to shake it off, "Klaus," She began, unsure of what to say next.

Lucian had warned her to stay away from Klaus, saying that the serum wouldn't be ready until they got Hayley's venom.

Caroline remembered scoffing and saying she didn't want Hayley's venom anywhere near her body. Swearing that she'd snap the brunette in half the next time she saw her, so he better get the were-bitche's venom before she got inpatient.

Klaus took this as his que to take the seat across from her, "Wasn't expecting to see you here, love." He said, breaking out one of the oldest lines in history.

The woman raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, "Really? I could say the same. This doesn't exactly seem like your scene."

Klaus glanced around the shop. She was right. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have glanced twice at it, and would have just walked right by. Coffee shops, small local events, even farmer's markets, have always been more of Caroline's thing.

She loved supporting local businesses, attending small gatherings, and connecting with the community.

Even after all these years, despite the fact both their hands had been soaked in blood, she clearly held onto her humanity.

"Well the shop artwork was quite inviting." Klaus tried to defend himself.

Caroline laughed, and she glanced at one of the paintings, that was just three lines, painting on a canvas. "You hate this style. You once said that making people pay for splashing paint on a sheet without any emotion was rubbish." She reminded him. "Marcus Rodigo ring a bell?"

Klaus did remember the man. He had the nerve to color in some space and demand 2.5 million for it. Klaus had beheaded him and used it to add some actual artwork onto the canvas.

"I'm surprised you know about that, love." Klaus commented, pleased that she had made an effort to keep a track of his movements, just as he did with hers.

Caroline bit her lip, realizing her slip up. "Kol talks." She said, defending herself. But what she did keep to herself was that she also had the painting that was created by Marcus Rodigo blood, and it hung in one of the mansions she had in Paris. In her defense, it was a gift from Kol, and her mother taught her manners, it was rude to turn a gift away.

"Ah, my brother is always such a chatty cat." Klaus nodded.

"Well what do you expect when you dagger him for decades on end?" Caroline demanded. She had meant for it to come out light, but the anger she had felt every time she heard her friend was daggered, and she wouldn't be seeing him for an undisclosed period of time, made itself known.

Klaus winced at her tone. It was to be expected. Out of all his sireling's, Kol had always been the closest to Caroline. It was reassuring to know that when Kol was with Caroline, he'd always protect her, but jealousy had reared its ugly head more than once, resulting in Kol's unnecessary daggering.

They sat in silence for a bit, before Caroline glanced down at the book she had stopped reading since the hybrid walked in, and put her bookmark in it, and put it down. She sat up straighter, "Why did you save me?" She asked.

He hated her.

She knew he hated her for what she, willingly - as far as he was aware - said to him that night.

He could have let her die days ago.

Yet he didn't.

"I'll always save you." Klaus found himself answering without thinking.

Caroline's eyes widened, not expecting that response.

She'd fantasized about it.

When she was alone, she'd let herself dream about how he'd one day discover that she was under compulsion, that she never meant what she said.

That he'd no longer hate her.

That they could have a future together after what Elijah had done. That they could be happy.

But then, she'd remember how he never questioned why she said those things. Did he not know her at all!

It's been a thousand years, and yet he still hadn't figured it out.

She never wanted to have to spell it out for him, because it would mean he truly didn't know her.

But would spelling it out for him really be that bad?

If there truly was a future for them, wouldn't it just save her the unnecessary heartache?

Caroline opened her mouth, trying to speak, but her breath caught in her throat, as her heart began to speed up.

No.

It wasn't a lie.

It was just easier to believe that she was waiting for him to figure it out.

But what if he didn't care that she was under compulsion that night? That just was forced to do it?

Or worse!

What if he had already figured it out? Then it would mean he knew her, but he truly didn't care.

Caroline closed her mouth, trying to calm herself.

She can't keep waiting forever.

She can't keep playing this same game forever.

She has to...

ShE HaS TO...

"Klaus, Listen." She said, steeling her will. "About that night, there is something that-", But before she could finish, Klaus flashed away.

Caroline sighed, her head falling back. She was finally ready, but it seems he still wasn't.

----------

"Presenting, Mr. Lucian Castle and Miss Caroline Castle." The man by the door boomed loudly as Lucian and his sister stepped into the room.

Klaus was instantly mesmerized by the blond woman, who delicately walked down the stairs, her hands wrapped around her brother's arm.

Her posture was straight, as she looked down at the party guests, her gaze not wavering away once as she stepped down the stairs with easy, elegant steps.

Her light blue dress fell over her curves delicately, and billowed by her ankles, giving her an angelic look. The crystals that covered her dress shone in the candle light of the chandelier, making her look almost ethereal. Well her diamond encrusted heels, combined with the marble flooring, made it seem as if she was standing on light. Her blond hair was left open behind her.

She looked... innocent.

Like an untainted, ray of pure sunshine.

But only a fool would miss the dangerous glint shining in her eyes.

Lucian may be the monster staring them in the face.

But she was the devil in disguise.

Lucian stopped at the bottom of the stairs, from the corner of his eye he glanced at his sister, who gave him a subtle nod.

The man smirked and began his speech, addressing their guests.

But Klaus didn't hear a single word that came out of his sireling's lips. He knew Lucian's mouth was moving, but all his senses were captivated by Caroline.

He couldn't look away from her. He had tried, and failed.

He couldn't hear anything but her steady heartbeat. It was music to his ears.

He could smell her scent. It hadn't changed a bit.

He wanted to feel her hair running through his fingers, like he did the night she was bitten.

He wanted to taste her lips, like he was freely able to a thousand years ago.

His wolf, was magnifying all those. His hybrid senses, all in overdrive, all focused on her.

Just her.

Lucian soon stopped speaking and stepped down and joined the guests, with Caroline separating from him.

To Klaus' joy, she walked towards him with a smile. But when she walked right past him, he realized she was walking towards Kol, her arms extended for a hug.

Kol laughed, letting the blond embrace him. "How long has it been?" He asked, pulling away.

"Far too long." Caroline said happily. "I haven't seen you since the 1700s."

"Ah, the 1700s, known as the Age of Enlightenment, but it was full of so many wars. The Prussia war, Great Northern War between the Russian and Swedish Empires, and my personal favorite the War of the Spanish Succession."

Caroline rolled her eyes, "All the wars were your favorite."

Kol looked offended, "Why wouldn't they be? All that bloodshed and dead bodies, you can go as wild as you want without anyone noticing."

Caroline sighed, "There are certainly benefits. Shame you were daggered during the French Revolution, you would have loved it. All that chaos."

Kol pouted, "Something I'll never forgive Nik for."

Klaus watched the two's exchange, having to push his wolf down, as it nearly howled with jealousy.

Kol was soon swept away by another party guest, leaving Caroline to walk around, making sure everything was going smoothly. Occasionally stopping to catch up with an old friend.

Klaus waited to catch her alone, the blond woman could see this, and refused to make it easy on him.

So when she finally gave him an opening, he took it without thinking.

"Care for a dance?" Klaus asked, offering her his hand.

Caroline raised an eyebrow from behind her champagne glass, "Why don't you ask Hayley?" She asked, trying to hide the hurt she felt, with anger. From the corner of her eye, she could see the brunette dancing with Elijah, her words ringing in Caroline's head like daggers.

But Klaus refused to let a drunken-one-night-stand, continue to stand in the way of his happiness, "I'm not with her." He told her bluntly. When Caroline didn't look convinced, he added, "She gave birth to my daughter, nothing more. Elijah's the one caught up in her web, not me."

Caroline let out a quiet hum underneath her breath, a small smile finally appearing on her lips as she set her champagne flute down on the tray of a passing waiter, and finally accepted Klaus hand. Letting him guide her to the dance floor.

Once they were in the center, he twirled her around, and pulled her close, as they stepped to the music.

"About Hayley-"

"Don't." Caroline cut him off, "There's nothing there to talk about."

"Exactly. There's nothing there." He said, debunking Hayley's lies, "There was never anything between Hayley and me."

"She's the mother of your child." Caroline reminded him.

"That doesn't hold a candle next to you." He told her softly, meaning every word.

Caroline stopped dancing, and looked up at him in disbelief. She glanced to the side and could see Elijah keeping an eye on them.

She couldn't say what she needed to say here.

"Come with me." She said, pulling him across the floor and out the dining room.

The older original saw this and was about to follow them, but Lucian quickly appeared in front of him. "Elijah," Klaus' first sireling greeted cheerfully, "let's have a chat."

----------

Caroline let him into a light blue sitting room, with a slightly darker blue couch, with white rectangle lines printed on it.

The woman took a seat, and Klaus was quick to sit down next to her, waiting for her to speak.

Caroline gently placed her hand on his wrist, making sure he wouldn't run away again when she started speaking. The hybrid tensed up, but didn't move her hand away.

"That night... I wasn't in control. Those words weren't my own." Caroline spoke, trying to keep her voice strong, but it was getting harder and harder to speak with each word.

She was unsure whether to continue or not, or if he would even believe her.

"What do you mean?" Klaus asked, confused, unsure if she was really trying to say what he thought she was trying to say.

"I was compelled."

With her three words, Klaus' whole world shattered.

She was compelled.

She didn't want to say those things that night.

She was forced.

Someone forced her to say those cruel things.

"So that night..."

"I wanted to run away with you." Caroline said, unable to contain her tears. "Believe me, I wanted to. But I-" her voice broke, as she began gasping, "I wanted to so badly. But the compulsion..."

When Klaus stayed silent, the women began to tear up even more. "It's the truth. Klaus, I swear it is. Please, believe me." She pleaded.

That snapped the hybrid out of his shock, and he quickly pulled her into his arms, any thought that this may be a trick, never even appearing in his mind.

"Who?" Klaus demanded. "Wanting to know who ruined their happiness." As he asked this, the dots quickly connected in his head.

Even if Lucian had compelled her beforehand, the compulsion would have broken with her turning, and he'd never hurt his sister like that.

Tristan and Aurora couldn't either.

She was like a sister to Rebekah and Kol. They'd have no reason to.

That only left...

"Elijah." Klaus concluded, looking at her for confirmation.

Her small nod was all he needed.

He wanted to storm out and find his brother, and dagger him on the spot. But he needed to know more, his brother would be daggered either way, but this conversation would just determine for how many millenia he would remain asleep.

"Why?" Klaus asked.

"He found out about your mother. He already suspected it. I didn't want to tell him but he-"

"Compelled you." Klaus said, disgusted with his brother's actions.

"He wanted to hurt you. He wanted to make you pay." Caroline said, her tears finally beginning to dry.

Klaus wiped the rest of her remaining tears away gently, "and he used you." He sighed sadly.

"Why didn't you ever come to me?" Klaus asked gently, not wanting to cause her any more emotional pain.

"Multiple reasons." Caroline admitted. "It had been a hundred years, when the compulsion finally broke. But I still remembered the look in your eyes clearly, the hurt, the pain." She said, never being able to forget the broken look on his face that night, or the fact that she was responsible. " That you wouldn't believe me. I thought you'd never forgive me."

"That you would hate me." She said, her eyes becoming watery again.

Klaus quickly pulled her even closer to his chest, "I could never hate you. Even when I wanted to, I couldn't ever stop loving you."

"Then, after centuries, when you didn't chase me. Never looked for answers. I guess I began to question if you ever loved me at all. I guess a small part of me wanted you to figure this out on your own. To prove that you really knew me. That you really loved me." She smiled, "But that was a ridiculous notion. I can't expect you to do everything. You were heartbroken too."

"I'm not without blame." Klaus said, "I should have looked deeper. I thought about that night many times, I've tried to block it out, but the words continuously appear in my nightmares. I haven't been able to look past them."

"And then you saved me from that bite, and in that coffee shop, I wanted to tell you so badly but I began to wonder if you knew all along, and just didn't care." Caroline said sadly.

"You were about to tell me that day." Klaus realized, "But I ran. Like a coward." He said, disgusted with himself.

Caroline turned her body around and cupped his face with both hands, "You are not a coward. We should have tried harder. Fought harder. But wanting to protect our hearts from the pain, doesn't make us cowards."

For the first time in centuries, Caroline finally felt free from the burden she had carried around for centuries, and the constant ache in Klaus' heart finally disappeared.

----------

Lucian was the one to fight the two. They were caught pressed to each other, Caroline's head resting on Klaus' chest, as he gently spooned her back.

"Well isn't this interesting?" Lucian smirked, his smile widening when his little sister raised her head to glare at him. "I take it the plan's changed?"

"It has." Caroline confirmed.

"Excellent, how will we be making Elijah pay?" The older Castle demanded.

"We?" Klaus raised an eyebrow, "Since when is it your right to punish my brother."

Lucian's smile fell off his face and his eyes narrowed, "Since your brother compelled me and my sister. I was the one who watched her suffer for centuries, not you."

"I suffered for centuries as a result of my brother's actions." Klaus reminded him.

"Enough!" Caroline said, moving away from Klaus so she could sit up properly. "He will be ours to make pay." She promised Klaus, before turning to her brother, "And you can help."

Lucian didn't look happy with the verdict, but didn't argue any further.

"And what about me?" A new voice spoke, entering the room.

Lucian turned around to see Kol standing at the entrance of the room.

"What do you have against Elijah?" Klaus demanded, suspicious.

"Oh, you mean aside from the fact he stood by and let me get daggered for decades, all the well playing the noble brother?" Kol asked sarcastically. "I also can't let him remain unpunished for what he did to my dear older brother and darling Caroline."

Caroline's eyes narrowed, "How long have you been listening?"

"Oh, not at all. I didn't hear a thing." Kol said honestly, with over the top cheerfulness, "I've just known this fun little nugget for centuries."

"What?" Klaus, Caroline, and Lucian demanded at once.

"You knew!"

"How did you find it?"

"All these years and you didn't say anything?!"

Lucian, Caroline, and Klaus asked over each other.

"Now, now. Slow down ladies, despite how much you may wish it. There's only one of me." Kol joked, waving his hands up and down in a 'calm down' motion.

"Start talking Kol." Klaus growled.

"Well, it wasn't that hard to connect the dots. Caroline would never say anything like that of her own free will. She loved you."

"Loves." Caroline corrected.

Kol rolled his eyes, "Yes, yes, present tenses and all that, whatever. Back to my story, meaning I quickly realized that she'd have had to been compelled. I didn't do it, Rebekah had no motive, Finn was a bore even back then. And you were the innocent victim. That only left our dear older brother."

"Yet you kept quiet. Why?" The hybrid demanded.

"It wasn't my place-"

"B.S." Caroline cut him off.

Kol rolled his eyes, "Fine, watching you pin and suffer was a lot more hilarious." He confessed.

"You ruined centuries! For your, what, five minutes of fun?" Lucian asked, not understanding the logic.

"What are centuries to immortals?" Kol said, waving it off. "Plus, you could have coughed up the truth to Klaus just as easily as I could have. It was clearly obvious to everybody else that Caroline would never say those things out of her own free will, well Klaus would continue to pin after her till the end of time. Ironically, only these two masterminds" he said the last word sarcastically, "never realized that they were just as head-over-heels for each other as the day they first met." The youngest original brother reminded Lucian.

"I was listening to what my sister wanted." Lucian defended himself. "You were doing nothing of the sort. For someone who claims to be her best friend-"

"I am!"

"After today, highly debatable." Caroline said, with a harsh sardonic tone.

"Hey, no need to lie now darling." Kol said, offended. "Now, back to Elijah, because even after all this, we all know I'm not enemy number 1 right now."

"What's the plan?" Klaus asked, turning to the love of his immortal life.

Caroline smirked, "Let's put on a show."

----------

Ok, was Klaus a little too cheesy here? Maybe. But I personally liked it. Plus, he's an artist. Murderous-thousand-year-old hybrid or not, we all know how the artist types are.

I loved this idea of Caroline being Lucian's sister, Klaus' first love, and coming back in TO season 3 so much, I'm going to make this a full story. I couldn't use this exact idea in the story, so I decided to write it as a one shot to see how much I loved this idea, and I loved it A LOT.

VOTE:

For the full book of this idea, I'm going to do a vote. Remember the scene where the wolves are hunted by Lucian's men, I was thinking of just killing Hayley off there. So;

Option 1: Kill Hayley off in chapter one (maybe 2, depending on the episode and chapters lengths)

Option 2: Keep her around for some bashing

What do you guy's think?

As for this "Caroline Castle" work, I did have the whole "show" planned out. But it felt kind of anti-climactic. So I decided to leave it out. Maybe if I think of something better, I'll write a part two for this. But until then, I'm leaving the story off here.

There will also be a blooper for this coming soon. So keep an eye out for that.

Anyways,

KLAROLINE FOR LIFE BECAUSE I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP!

#Klaroline #Klaus Mikaelson #Caroline Forbes #Kol Mikaelson

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incarnateirony · 2 months

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Shealyn, I know I've jacked you, and been your loki and eros or whoever else earworm to do your therapy and shit, and been chewing on you inside and throwing self help books at people from Tartarus, but actually follow your advice. You're doing that thing where you repeat trying to sound sage and aren't realizing you're quoting me at work, basically.

Do your work book and therapy, but that's not gonna make you a powerful magician overnight. What you're quoting is like psych 101, baby steps, just saw a therapist for real for the first time kind of shit. I sit with clients for maybe an hour average and send them home with more notes than that.

Break yourself down internally, but you actually have to face it, not run from it in circles or cross to the easy answer. Not grasp around for a tumblr post you can argue about it with if you turn it sideways. Not just change the outer skin to a different fursuit. That's it. That's the whole thing.

Boundaries are important. You confused me with the god of them. You built a cult. I am refusing it. You keep jerking me off because you won't follow the above advice. No means no. I just want to be free, and for years, and truly lifetimes, you have refused. No means no, and it's liberating to say, but the other person has to fucking listen.

You have to do the work to actually heal.

Let us go.

This is literally a bulletpoint summation of everything I've been telling you and you've objectively refused to fucking do, because the truth hurts too much and you WON'T process it, you keep doubling down into the same land that took you to divine octopus jibberish. Like you won't even do Day One Therapy correctly, you'll just lift their notes and spread it on tumblr cuz you feel like you learned something without actually UNDERSTANDING the content. Much less actually PERFORMING it.

Sure makes it sound like you're smart though! Maybe that'll stick it to me, or something. Or maybe this is me yet again learning how to fucking tug on you, because if it makes you feel learned, like you can swipe at me in a coward's sidelong, you'll do it, and sit there accomplished, waiting to be praised for stealing your doctor's notes for children.

Read it again, and everything I have been fucking begging you to do, and where it's clearly fucking true, and you just don't like it, you want to keep going down the delusion hole, you won't face it, you won't look at it, you won't admit it, you won't change your course, you just keep speeding up the crazy train. And it's genuinely hurting real fucking people.

Put that in your fucking journal.

No, really, write it out. "Rumpocky was never real. The Hermes I was speaking with was not real. These and other concepts belong to my ex, who I have been misgendering to disassociate and confuse them without mercy. My actions, including training others incorrectly, have been causing not only him, but other people tremendous confusion and suffering, and I have refused to listen for too long. This behavior has also greatly contributed to my own suffering and veered me into obsessive-compulsive, stalking, and abusive behaviors, hair pulling, and a growing list of neurotic tendencies developed over the last few years."

Go ahead. Try it. Start at "Rumpocky was never real. The Hermes I was speaking with was not real." Then try the rest.

Because that's it. that's the moral of this whole goddamn thing.

Do the work, break it down, look at it, no shortcuts, no easy answers.

Me yelling "No" and not being cowed off by whiny anons is one of the most liberating things I've ever done, and this boundary is so far beyond important, even as you confuse me with the god of boundaries yet insist on crossing mine.

I went this far so NOBODY had to go through it again. Much less me. I'm ending this goddamn cycle of your abuse.

youtube

Shea, none of this is motherfucking theory I'm talking to you in. I am being honest. I get no gain but freedom for myself, and maybe even for you if you wouldn't drive backwards for once, by screaming this shit into the internet for months, we both fucking know that. I mean it Shea. I'm already half at peace and you keep pissing in the serpent pot and trying to grab people and things in its vague direction out. That is me. That is my Air Jordan set, my shadow's face, one of many journeys all studied by me and writ by me and only replaced by you when I left by rumpocky mimic, and your friends have been drawing aspects of my personas, and you know they're mine. Versions that aren't just shadows, because you fucked up and got them bound to me.

You have to do the work Shea. There is a cruel mercy, even, in making a trap like this you can't outrun. You misread the signs. And then badly designed yours. You tried, but you failed, and it's time to go back and figure out why Rumpocky was never real, or how long you've been on frooty loops lane with all this. Read your own post. Do the work. Write it out.

I think if you look at when I stopped roleplaying or "channeling" with you so much, it suspiciously overlaps with when you miscolored "Thoth", turned his snake into a scarf, cut him out of his element by trimming his wires and wings as unimportant, and plugged him in the wrong place--yeah, it was around then that I knew there was something deeply wrong here past earlier suspicions.

Okay? It's time to stop and think about that. It was never a scarf, it was always a snake wearing a snake wearing a mask connected to Akasha Internet, always has been. Brian was always Part Of My Brain. Rumpocky was never divine providence offering fodder, it was an inside joke my brain scrambled with anime similar to the gnostic prophets hearing our shit on twitter right now baby baby blue ray baduptabaduptada ahwhooooo. Misheard lyrics. Dates back to "The great god Pan is dead~", I'd say funny story, but right now, it really isn't. It's just the life you're insisting on living.

Garfield... the sign's for you.

Hi.

The house. Carpet. Et cetera.

Check out healgrief.org. It's got peer groups and apps and stuff girl, because it's time for you to start treating me like I'm dead (AFTER you write out the truth needed to end this crazy train), and that does include him too now, and honestly it involves most of your corrupted masculine pantheon, acidized holy water making your plants grow better and all. You gotta make the water move, Elsa. You were never the fire, we both knew that. Break up the ice and look at it, and think back to 2010 or so before we got THIS tangled up, when we were both dumb kids, but you had a different path than I did. You worked in construction, and so on.

Maam, I'm just the janitor, I told you that my whole life even if I didn't understand this shitshow I'd be cleaning up. Because you've been refusing to take that advice. Maybe now that you've typed it and gotten a few more signs, you'll listen to it. I don't know.

For what it's worth, he's still like, there, and out there. There's other Magi, and other places he visits and things he does without me but. Things are different. And the bird will not come back to your window until it trusts you again, and that's going to take work, and reading your own posted signs and breaking down what's wrong here. I don't know if regaining his trust will be attainable in this lifetime, but he changes day to day, so who knows, but not like this and deep down, I think you knew that.

Also maybe it helps to know that like, once you realize I'm not fucking with you and this embarrassing shitshow ends, while clearly I Know Some Shit to be stunting on this level, I've never played at this kind of degree before. I'm still making it up as I go and working through it when the whacky and wild happens. I knew it would work but now I'm plankton. Iunno I never thought I'd get this far.

You remember the shaman you confused with a spirit before, and were shocked he was just a man? It's that, Shea. I stopped letting both of us box me, finished my path, experienced some zany shit, undied, and now I'm here, and in sync with it and what you see as Coyote, and yes, to some extent I am Hermes, but there are many people on this clowncell that all are, in their own stages of development. All the way back to "Ash." The individuation of myself from him is always the whole point of the journey he takes as and with us. Always has been. I'm like Shaman guy now, Shea, okay? No more out of control astral body, no more psyche running off on itself. It's just that, and you gotta come to terms with that. Cuz you are REALLY fucking up the weather in here.

#magus stop taking my shit homegirl, u place copyright papersymbol and you take others creations? How you tricks (Reptilians) I know you, you still connected to me. Psycho.

Help she ripped the mask off the Bird now the gnosis guy thinks he's talking to Reptilians

what happens when you trinity soul a trinity soul trinity soul

mess. but we are very proud of john's first manifestation that went big. Given he kinda had a few hundred million hands head start, but that was FUNNY.

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#it's the violet hour and we're in tartarus #plankton's attacking the superbowl speedrunning rebirth and we're in tartarus #Youtube

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midnightmemes · 1 year

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MISC. LYRIC STARTERS.

Their intention is to kill and they will, they will. Somewhere in the end we're all insane to think a light ahead can save us from this. I am not afraid, I won't burn out in this place. My intention is to fade and I will, I will. It gets me high, I'm out for blood, sometimes, a taste just ain't enough. I can feel my heart beat out my chest - You know that I would die for this. Don't call me out 'cause I let you down . I've always had a one-track mind. Gas on the fire, I feed the flame, there ain't no stoppin' me. Can you tell me why you've thrown it all away? I hope it hurts. You've only got yourself to blame. What were you expecting? I can't save you from yourself when you don't want saving. It's on your head, don't point the finger, point the blame. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. So much to do, so much to see; so what's wrong with taking the back streets? My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Had a bad day, don't talk to me, gonna ride this out. And I'm sick of my sickness. Don't touch me, you'll get this. Well I'm waiting for my wake up call, and everything, everything's my fault. I went to heaven, but couldn't get in, for what I have done. I said please take me, they said you're crazy, you had too much fun. I want to reconcile the violence in your heart. I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart. You trick your lovers that you're wicked and divine. You may be a sinner - but your innocence is mine. Forget what I have done, forgive me if you please, save me if you can. The time for me has come, let me be the one that got away. Deep in the dark, you'll surrender your heart. No matter what you think it won't be too long 'til you're in my arms. There's a light in you that tears me down to nothing. There's a hope inside that you can make it better. I won't go down. I'll fight through the pain, I'll be there right by your side, I'll never let them bring you down. There's a hope in me that I will die for something. I want to live like I know I'm dying. Is it true what they say, that words are weapons? I'm tired of listenin', I'm warning you, don't try to get up. I will never be voiceless, my weapon of choice is I'd rather be dangerous. I'm not making conversation but I'll state my observations. I was never lost and I never had a doubt. I own my story, I won't say sorry, and neither should you. I want to break free and bite my way out of this hole. This I know; the risk is worth the gain, it's worth the sacrifice. You broke me into pieces, don't tell me what to be. I refuse to let this go, because my soul is breaking. I refuse to let it show - I refuse to let it go. Wake me up when this is over, I'm tired of living life like it's a dream. Please wake me up when it's all over, I'm tired of living right here in between. I refuse to let you in, life's a bitch and I've been shaken. I refuse to take the fall, 'cause no one cares at all.

#ask meme #askbox meme #Ask memes #ask prompts #rp meme #sentence meme #sentence starters

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indythefandomhoarder · 1 year

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Hi everyone, I'd really appreciate it if you would share or donate to this GoFundMe, https://gofund.me/a58bf480

What's my story?

In high school, I was a Cambridge education student, with an average of B for my grades. When I was deciding on a college, I was told I would get full coverage at a certain public school, while a different private school offered the same thing. I chose the private school because I had more than enough Cambridge Scholarship money to attend, and statistics showed that students who graduated from this private school were able to gain more income. Halfway through the first semester I learn that, although this school says they accept the Cambridge Scholarship, they refuse to accept mine for unknown reasons. I attempted to get them to accept the scholarship, and to help me further, but got zero help from administration and financial departments.

So, winter break came and went, and I moved out all of my things from my dorm. Now, freshly an adult, I am back at home with my parents, and I will be transferring to the aforementioned public school (As shown by the picture attached to this GoFundMe), where they accept my scholarship.

Here is the kicker; The private school still has my transcripts and financial aid, and refuse to give both back until I pay off the rest of my bill. My bill is around $5,000, plus late fees. This hurts me majorly because I was told by many financial department staff that I would be able to transfer without my transcripts, but was not told that they would keep my financial aid, so now I need to pay off the remaining balance before I transfer.

Since my parents are extremely low-income, one of which being on disability, they would have to take out a loan that would cripple their income. Plus, I still want to continue to get a degree, so I can help my parents out more, and get ahead in life, so the extra $1,000 would cover my schooling for this semester at the public school.

I have exhausted all of my options. My grandparents on the one side are on retirement and have been burned before with family, so they refuse to help, which is completely understandable. My other grandparents are living paycheck to paycheck as well. I am no contact with my sister, as she was abusive my whole childhood, and my aunts and uncles have children of their own. I have also applied for multiple student loans, but every single one has been denied, as I am 18, with no credit. Even with cosigners, I have been denied.

So, I am asking for your help to pay my bill and get a start on another semester.

Thank you for your help.

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exfriends · 2 years

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tw mild s*icide ideation

i'm so OVER the housing market and the adults in my life just refusing to see the truth of what the economy looks like to people who are trying to create equity

like, my cousin bought his home in 2019 before EVERYTHING exploded and honestly doles out the most useless advice to me in regards to buying homes but i feel compelled to keep including him because he is really good at fixing homes, and keeping him in the loop means i could gain assistance when i actually get something. but he also told me that there was no point in renting because i was just throwing money in a hole, and that i just needed to work with my abusive parents better. i literally screamed at him the day i signed my lease because he told me i made a bad choice and i was like "when are you going to blame her for anything? like, am i just supposed to get beaten and terrorized on the daily in exchange for maybe buying a house in a few years?" he was notably quiet after that but now in looking for houses, he just keeps telling me to wait and wait and wait and waiting is useless.

at this point i'm looking at a BEAUTIFUL trailer on a beautifully managed property near my current apartment and he's convinced that this is the worst financial decision i could ever make because i don't own the land under the trailer. obviously that's a risk, i get that, but what am i supposed to do at this point? i'm paying nearly 1800 a month for a 700square foot one bedroom apartment 1 HOUR away from my current job. buying the trailer would eliminate a mortgage for me and i'd be paying 700 a month for the land/water and less for everything else. he told me to get more income. okay. should i just open up the cesspool of "my job lied to me for two years about the ability to gain my license with the state so now i have two years of experience but cant work independently so my income is literally CAPPED at 63k a year if i can EVEN find a place that will pay me that at this point?" yes i have a master's degree but i picked the WRONG FIELD apparently to want to live in new jersey!!!!!!!!! and i'm a spoiled millenial for refusing to get a second job when a second job would push my working hours to nearly 80 a week on top of driving extra?? my fiance ALREADY works two jobs and i see how much it messes with him. i'm mentally ILL for fucks sake

and i got into an argument with my aunt about the trailer too because she thinks i'm just impatient and that the market prediction stuff i read about is nonsense. meanwhile she's sitting pretty on a 136k salary in a house that's already paid off. my cousin is an engineer and he's marrying a nurse. none of them are economically disadvantaged in the slightest and they're trying to convince me that one day the markets will just go back to what they used to be and i should save my money and just wait to get a nice townhouse. i can't afford a townhouse, they're over 300k within an hour of either my fiance's job or mine--unless i want to pay 250k for the EXACT same apartment i live in now (i do not).

i wish i could let go of my need of approval from these people. i'm buying the fucking trailer if the realtor gets back to me. it's beautiful. i will not let the stigma of my upper middle class family prevent me from doing something that will work for me.

but at the same time i'm sitting here like, what's the point. obviously i want to stay with my fiance and raise our cats but like, i read all the time about people who off themselves because they can't handle the direction the economy is going and like...i get that. i feel that. suicidal ideation is a near constant for me, it's like a little friend on my shoulder that screams "oh you stubbed your toe? you could kill yourself! won't hurt anymore :)" and obviously my life is OKAY and i don't WANT to hurt myself but if its not getting any better and i'm just supposed to accept living in a water damaged, bug infested, falling apart apartment for nearly 2k a month and barely be able to afford emergencies without dipping into all the dead people money i have its like...why the FUCK am i bothering to try and do better? i won't be ABLE to because people who don't live this life are trying to tell me it isn't real.

and its like, i have to take a second to acknowledge that because my mom, dad, grandparents died, i have it VASTLY better than many others the same age as me. for one, i have no school debt. traded parents for a masters degree basically, which makes me angry to remember that i hold privledge more than others (bc it doesn't feel as heavy as the guy who was just BORN into money, but just because i fell into state loopholes and got a chunk of change from a house sale doesn't mean i still didn't benefit)

i owe the government money every tax season despite giving them 1/3 of my paycheck or more, my job refuses to pay me what i'm worth, i'm being squeezed and drained for every dollar and it's like...what's the point if i can't get somewhat of a good life?

my life here isn't TERRIBLE, and my fiance wouldn't change anything about our living situation because he just doesn't see the problems. i'm the one that fixes the closets, sprays the bugs, tries to fix the air conditioning, shampoos the carpets to try to get the mold smell out from when our CEILING crashed in last year from the roof not being installed properly. I'm the one who holds the burden of shit not working and i'm tired of wanting something everyone else has but i'm not able to get for some reason.

and that reason being all the people who were born with money who think an apple costs 2 cents

#sadness about the real estate market and the future of society dont mind ME

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casspurrjoybell-27 · 6 months

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Claimed by the Beast - Chapter 17b

*Warning Adult Content*

Rejection - Part 2

- Everett -

"I'm sorry for what I said," Everett starts.

"I didn't mean to imply anything about your parental skills..."

"It's fine," Josie cuts him off and smiles.

"You're upset. All's forgiven." "I really don't deserve your kindness."

Everett sighs.

"Jackal or not, it's still fucked up knowing someone's getting murdered not far from where you sleep. I get this may have become your norm over time but it isn't mine and it never will be..." he pauses when his mind walks him back to the chaos going on outside.

Is it happening right now, the torture and killing?

Does Knox use his bare hands or tools?

Maybe both?

Everett shakes his head quickly, tossing the twisted thoughts aside.

"It's one thing knowing what Knox is but it's something completely different when you actually witness it firsthand," Everett finishes.

"God, I can still hear that man's screams and then the silence that followed after... Knox did whatever the hell he did to him."

"I've seen and heard things around here that I wish I hadn't," Josie confesses.

"Tonight was undoubtedly a bad night. I wish I had better advice for you but I prefer to be honest rather than sugarcoat shit, so I'll just say it, there's no magic way to process what you've seen and heard. Moving on from it won't be easy but it is possible. As for the how... well, that's something you'll have to figure out on your own. Just remember you're not alone. I'm here for you."

"I think I might've legit gone crazy by this point had we never met," Everett says.

"Thanks for talking me down from the edge again. Feels like I should start paying you for your time." Josie laughs.

"You can pay me back by babysitting."

"Deal." Everett smiles.

"When are you due?"

"Three months from now," Josie answers while rubbing her swollen belly.

"I look bigger than I should because I eat a lot. I thought I'd be self-conscious about the new weight gain but Gavin... I don't know. That man is insatiable. His hands are on me every free chance he gets."

Everett chuckles and goes to respond but then Knox appears at the opened door and it's like all good things immediately gets sucked out of the room.

He glances at Josie and jerks his head to the side, signaling for her to leave.

She gives Everett a call-if-you-need-me stare before standing to go.

She whispers something to Knox in passing, then gently closes the door after herself.

"This your new room?" Knox asks quietly.

"I don't know. I just wanted my own space for tonight," Everett says.

"Sorry if that makes you upset."

"I'm not upset. I'm..." Knox stops himself but Everett wishes he'd kept going.

"Are you afraid of me now?"

"It's complicated."

"In what way?"

"I don't know how to answer that at the moment."

They stare at each other and say nothing more.

A beat passes, then two, then three and it's Knox who decides to swallow his pride and pain to take advantage of what little time he has left with Everett.

"Are you patching me up or am I doing it myself?" Knox asks, referring to his semi-injured arm.

His actions tonight have clearly rubbed Everett the wrong way, so much that they're now sleeping apart.

For a moment, Knox thought they were on the same page.

Obviously, he was wrong.

He had it wrong from the start and now he's paying the price for it.

Everett's rejection hurts more than getting shot.

"My bathroom is pretty bare with supplies, so we'll have to go to your room."

Everett follows Knox out of the door and into their old room, still unable to fully meet his gaze.

He orders the man to sit on the toilet while he sets up the supplies on the sink.

"Is your arm hurting you any?"

"You refusing to look me in the eye hurts a hell of a lot more," Knox answers.

Everett doesn't respond.

He works quickly to wash and sanitize his hands and then he uses a damp rag to clean Knox's arm.

The silence inside the bathroom is deafening.

It makes Everett work twice as fast and in no time, he's throwing a bandage over the wound and tosses the trash into the garbage bin.

"I'm no doctor but it didn't look like you'll need stitches. Just keep a watch on it and try..." Everett pauses when Knox stands to tower over him, both hands cupping his face.

"Don't," Everett whispers with quivering lips, shutting his eyes.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"You can," Knox coaxes. "Look at me."

Everett loses it at the feeling of Knox kissing his tears away.

He grips the man's wrists and opens his eyes, looking directly at him.

"Knox..."

"I'd choose death quicker than I'd allow myself to hurt you, Everett. I only want to protect you. I'm not out to harm you. I need you to understand that and believe it," Knox says.

"There's no reason for you to fear me and it's killing me that you are right now."

"I saw a man die," Everett whispers. "He took his last breath as I held him. Doesn't matter how many days pass or how deep I bury the memories of that night in my mind. Shaun's death will always be with me and the triggers lying around this place are endless. I never know what'll set me off. I don't... I just want things to go back to normal. I'm so fucking tired."

Not physically but emotionally.

Knox senses it and acknowledges it.

He keeps his thoughts to himself while walking Everett back to his new room, kissing him on the forehead before departing without another word.

It's more than the lifestyle that he lives, it's Knox's entire existence.

He'll forever be a walking trigger for Everett, yet another reason why they're so unfit for each other.

Why a future with them together is next to impossible.

Knox swallows the hard pill despite it feeling like it's destroying him from the inside out.

And Everett does the same.

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chalemee · 2 years

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the truth

I can no longer be here I have to make changes and they are not changes that come from me but changes my soul needs i never believed in those sad stories and the disturbances of humans but as long as you do not live through it you can never explicitly explain that experience it is too late now my soul has spoken and even though it shakes me and it hurts my body and heart I must be set free. I was a fool to believe it was ever my choice or that I had an option there are many things I need to change but first thing's first I must make space for the angels of light who serve the highest guard; second is making the relationship that I have become so fond of transmute into something of better service or make it obsolete to my existence just as anything that no longer serves my highest good I am sorry dear self I allowed so much disrespect and this honor but I truthfully believe that this next season I will rewrite my entire genetic code and I will be who I am really meant and suppose to be to honor my creator and carry my ascension with honest humble love. I am sorry if you don’t make it but you are hurting me far more than benefiting me and your words are just manipulative and I refuse to accept your fake illustory love I am done watering my beliefs my soul and sense of self worth down. In order to meet you and fulfill your needs because you obviously have no regard for mine and only for what I can do for you. I will be authentically and unapologetically myself and a reminder to you and anyone who reads. I do not need of anyone's love nor embracement but my own. I acknowledge that while I am nothing at all and I am less then spec in the universe I am also in everything I am humble enough to know that things will be revealed in due time. I will keep my promise to love you forever. It will have to come to end and our love will be from afar if you choose to not make drastic change. Because I can not tolerate nor allow any creature being or human of low frequency to ever touch me or gain access to me again especially when they hurt me because I have a soul contract and soul that loves me so very deep that hurts when I hurt. This all starts with the man I have continuously chosen to love over myself and forgive past countless transgressions that should have not been forgiven but your time is up I need immediate radical change no more cutting slack your family may cut you slack but I am a woman who does not have family to lay back on. I only have a tribe of women that I must lead and be strong enough to care for us and if this means to never be married then blessed be. Because I believe in and endless love that is unconditional but not one that makes a fool of the weaker more vulnerable party or makes less of the other and I certainly do not believe in temporary unfulfilled conditions nor desires and being selfish with love I must prioritize myself and align myself with my highest purposeful good for my creator and the part I play in this creation. So I do not need someone of this world but one who truly understands the power of christ consciousness the power of words and the true meaning of love one truly wants to be a believer in the arts of energy, love, forgiveness, passion and creation. We can not forget compassion I believe there's a lot parts that I am lacking and I am choosing to be by myself because you don’t give me peace you only cloud my judgement with your worldly desires and in this time you can decide what you truly want because I expect the man that I marry if I ever marry to be the head of the house I aspire to be self sufficient but I expect my husband to not only worship the ground I walk but provide and protect and love me for who I am with my imperfections and insecurities and lift me up on my hard days like I will for him in his darkest hour and this something you don’t desire you ache for comfort and not going above and beyond and unfortunately I can not give myself the luxury to work as the same pace as everyone I don't have stable parents who care for my bills I have to be independent and self sufficient and I am not willing to continue giving my body to a boy who does not appreciate me nor see me for who I am truly am but is too busy in looking on what he can change to better satisfy his own self instead of really listening to me and I hate the fact it took me so long and I had to go through sooo much when I should of said fuck off from the first petty fight this does not mean I don’t love you. Because the truth is that I love you and I really do love you and I mean that whole heartedly but I was not what you truly wanted and you are not what I need take it as break but I would understand if you want to break up but you need to change I am not interested in being with someone who waste their time away who does not hold any true ambitions nor desires nor treats humanity with the highest respect despite our differences I believe we are all the same. These values I do not find in you they do not correlate nor resonate with who you are as a person. You are someone who is not interested in working together but just waiting me to see me grow more beautiful to enjoy the fruit of my labor while believing in different values in marriage and in beliefs of faith and creation with much love Heydy. If you read this first stop before you try flipping the tables because if you get the point this is me fighting for our love and myself I want you to know that I appreciate the small changes you have done but you keep asking me for me to better take care of you financially and if that is truly what you are looking for i suggest you come to terms with the facts that we have different values and beliefs and just because you enjoy my body and you claim you love me that does not give you the right to keep using me. I expect a man to truly be a man and face his own internal issues and not just say I will deal with them believe in healing and in growth because if you dont you will never be truly happy but always lack something. You said we all know what we have to do and this what I have to do. I honor your time and your hard work but their are things you have done that are not correct I have issues and I knew why I told you I did not want a relationship and now I am telling you that I love you but this is what I need and I hope you understand so you can make a choice but with this choice that does not mean I will blindly believe you because I do expect radical change and do not ask me how. Because all the things I have asked that you are not doing and that you haven’t stopped doing have showed me you have no respect for me. I have lost all my friends over you and I am fine with that because it only showed me they where not truly my friends but it has been because of the way you are and psychological shit you play on me so if you truly love me cut the bullshit and be honest with yourself and me so we can figure out what we will be doing next.

I love you with all that I am and I will always love you but this is the way I choose to communicate I love you Andy.

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frogtanii · 3 years

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warm.

it’s too warm, was your first waking thought as you sluggishly waded through the mound of blankets that encompassed you to get a breath of fresh air (you assumed bokuto and kuroo were the culprits for your warm and fuzzy hellhole). your eyes first fell on the television playing the credits to the second or third pirates of the caribbean movie on mute, the remote haphazardly thrown somewhere to your left as though the person who did so left in a hurry.

speaking of people, there was no one left in the room as you slowly joined the land of the living. a part of you suspected everyone had gone to bed but atsumu or akaashi would’ve woken you up if that had been the case.

belatedly, you recognized voices coming from the front door and your still sleep-addled brain lit up. oh! you thought. food must be here! untangling yourself from the blankets proved to be an exhausting feat because by the time you were done, your body was covered in a sheen of sweat underneath oikawa’s sweats and sakusa’s hoodie.

ugh, gross.

you began to make your way towards the door, the blood rushing through your head preventing you from hearing the details of conversation but knowing atsumu, he was just haggling for a lower price even though you told him repeatedly, that isn’t how pizza places work tsum.

as you drew nearer to the commotion, you started to pick up on the heavy tension in the air, leaving you extremely uncomfortable. you had no idea what the cause of it was but you did know it was making most of the boys upset, who, by the way, hadn’t noticed you creeping around just yet.

a feminine voice rang out from outside the doorway and though you were still attempting to gain your hearing, the sound sent chills down your spine. it sounded saccharine, sweet, familiar, and oh so evil.

even with a head full of cotton, you figured now wouldn’t be the best time to reveal yourself, what with the clear discomfort permeating the atmosphere, but your big fat mouth apparently had other plans.

“‘tsum, just let the poor pizza lady go,” you muttered, the beginnings of a headache making itself known at the back of your skull. you were a little too caught up with the dwarf banging at your head with a sledgehammer to notice the shock that everyone in the room turned to look at you with.

a gentle hand grasped at your forearm, whispering something into your ear before attempting to pull you back to the living room, but that same familiar voice from the door kept you planted where you stood.

“oh, the princess finally makes herself known,” meiko sneered, her face finally coming into focus, striking you with pang of fear straight through your heart. “funny, i thought i left you speechless the last time we... ‘talked’.”

“ya shut yer fuckin mouth,” atsumu lunged at her but was stopped by sakusa’s arm around his waist, successfully holding him in place. meiko just giggled, taking a step into the house, her heels clicking as she glided across the hardwood floors.

in the back of your head, you noted that meiko looked unusually beautiful, her makeup flawlessly done and her outfit complementing it perfectly, almost reminiscent of how she used to be before... well, just “before”.

you watched the boys unconsciously angle themselves as a protective wall around you, the person holding your arm (who you now realized was koushi) pulling you in tighter until your back was resting against his chest.

a part of you couldn’t help but feel a little suffocated but the other, more self preserving, bit felt irrationally safe and protected around these boys. it was nice... or it would’ve been if meiko wasn’t taking herself on a tour around the house as though she hadn’t been living there for almost the past year.

“you all can tone down on the guard dog act. i’m not here to fight,” she said as she pretended to wipe dust off the island. “you’re not?” bokuto’s skeptical voice rose up from behind you, one of his hands finding yours underneath the massive sleeves of your (sakusa’s) hoodie.

meiko shook her head with an empty smile, her perfectly painted red lips stretching unnaturally wide. “no, of course not! i’ve just come here to collect.”

the boys collectively tensed around you, akaashi whispering for kenma to go find yachi and quickly. as he slipped away, you made eye contact with sakusa who gave you an imperceptible nod that you assumed meant one thing — keep her talking.

“collect what?” you asked, your voice coming out weaker than you wanted, but you hoped she didn’t notice. she cocked her head as her eyes snapped to you as if she’d forgotten you were there, but judging by her growing smirk, you knew that wasn’t the case.

“my boys of course!” meiko clapped gleefully, clicking her way over toward kuroo to run her hand over his bicep, laughing when he jolted away from her touch. “they’ve always been mine, you know that don’t you?”

it felt like a cold bucket of water had been dropped over your head. you felt frozen again, the same feeling of dread creeping up your spine as it did when meiko attacked you. in turn, you barely noticed kenma’s return who whispered something to sakusa — an action that didn’t go unnoticed by meiko.

“what’re my boys talking about? are you plotting against me?” she pouted, scooting closer to the pair. kenma visibly paled and moved to hide himself behind sakusa’s broad shoulders. “we aren’t doing anything, meiko.”

wrong answer.

“oh, we both know that isn’t the case kiyoomi. i’m not a fucking idiot.” meiko’s voice filled with venom before moving even closer still. you felt your heart beating rapidly in your chest, your hand gripping bokuto’s even tighter.

what if she brought some kind of weapon to the house? what if she hurt you? what if she hurt them?

before you could think, you were standing in front of the group, the boys calling out your name as meiko’s face lit up. “so the precious little princess wants to take a stand! let me have it then, huh? let me see what all the craze is about!”

despite the fear thudding in your chest, you stood tall, glaring at her with your head held high. “the boys are not yours, meiko,” you declared, her mouth instantly opening in protest but you refused to let her speak.

“they aren’t possessions or objects you can own and treat like shit. they are people, real living, breathing people and they aren’t mine either. they have full reign to do what they want, when they want, to make their own choices and decisions. and you know what? they didn’t choose you or me. they chose themselves and their happiness over any bullshit you or i could try and sell them. so please, for the love of god, get your shit together, put it in a box and take it to fucking therapy.”

by the end of your impromptu speech, your chest was heaving but you felt good. really good. adrenaline was rushing through your veins and you felt powerful. out the corner of your eye, you noticed osamu and daichi standing at the bottom of the stairs with something akin to awe on their faces.

yeah bitches. take it all in.

unfortunately, while you were basking in the feeling of badassery, you completely missed meiko’s eyes lighting up with pure, unadulterated,

rage.

you faintly heard someone call your name before you were taken to the ground by meiko leaping at you like an animal. the two of you scrambled about on the hardwood, her hands yanking at your clothes and leaving scratches on your skin but you were sure as hell giving her a run for her money.

you finally managed to get on top of her, pinning her arms to the ground but that wasn’t before you gained a hard elbow to the side and a bruise to your face. meiko thrashed and shook in your hold but you were not wavering, trying to keep her entirely still for...

well, for what exactly?

almost as though they were on cue, you heard the sound of police sirens wailing in the distance, growing louder as they drew closer to the house. underneath you, meiko’s eyes widened before she began fighting even harder than she’d done before, her erratic movements making it much more difficult to keep your hold on her.

luckily, you had extremely muscular men at your disposal, one of which (osamu — even though he was a dick, he was still incredibly muscular dick) held down meiko’s arms as the lapd stormed the building.

the police officers easily retracted meiko from your arms and cuffed her, taking her to the back of the cop car, despite her loud and insistent threats on you and everyone you love.

very disney villain-esque.

a kind looking officer helped you to your feet and walked you out to the porch where he began to ask you and the boys a few questions. you answered them honestly and you were genuinely proud of how well you were handling the whole situation when—

“bubs, you’re shaking.” sure enough, when you looked down at your hands, you were twitching uncontrollably, the reality of the events that just occurred finally sinking in.

you were just attacked. again.

you and your friends were threatened.

meiko was sitting in the back of a fucking cop car.

“what the fuck,” you whispered, eyes staring unblinking at your palms. the same officer mentioned something about shock, prompting all the boys to gather around you; atsumu pulled you in between him and sakusa, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, kenma and bokuto took hold of your quivering hands, sugawara and oikawa sat off to the side watching you with blatant concern, and kuroo and akaashi spoke to the officer in hushed tones.

the man nodded and shook their hands before shooting you a pitying smile and heading back to the car where meiko was waiting.

“it’s over angel, ‘s over,” atsumu muttered into your hair, pressing kisses to your forehead in between each phrase. you leaned into his touch but you refused to take your eyes off meiko who was watching the whole scene from the backseat, her eyes wide with anger, hurt, and confusion.

you didn’t bother dwelling on it, instead focusing on evening out your breathing and looking at the car drive over the horizon. you heard yachi’s soft voice calling everyone inside, atsumu lifting you up to your feet and walking with you, never once taking his hands off of you.

still, his words echoed in your head, even as yachi spoke of the end of the hyper house, even as the boys brought you to your room, and even as they all automatically cuddled around you in an attempt to get you to sleep.

it’s over. it’s all finally over.

you couldn’t keep the grin off your face if you tried.

℗ poker face

it’s over

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an - OK THE TITLE IS MISLEADING THE STORY IS NOT OVER YET SKENSM (there are 2 more official story chapters before all the endings :3) also m not the biggest fan of this chapter?? so i’d love to hear what y’all think <33 don’t forget to feed me!!

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the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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