#✦ liberating rain . . . ( cody )

[sslowdeathh]

✦ Chaperone ;

Not requested, coined for a headmate. I couldn't find a flag for this specific thing, though please tell me if there is one.

✦✦✦ definition ;

A chaperone is a headmate that doesn't exactly care for littles, but they are always near / in front when littles front. A chaperone may also supervise headmates that age (or pet)-regress.

A chaperone will NOT interfere with whatever the little is doing unless it is dangerous, or otherwise harmful. The chaperone will only watch from a distance until something goes wrong. If everything is okay, then they just chill.

[PT: Chaperone.

Not requested, coined for a headmate. I couldn't find a flag for this specific thing, though please tell me if there is one.

Definition:

A chaperone is a headmate that doesn't exactly care for littles, but they are always near / in front when littles front. A chaperone may also supervise headmates that age (or pet)-regress.

A chaperone will not interfere with whatever the little is doing unless it is dangerous, or otherwise harmful. The chaperone will only watch from a distance until something goes wrong. If everything is okay, then they just chill. /PT END]

#✦ liberating rain . . . ( cody ) #✦ liberating rain . . . ( blurry ) #✦ two shots and i need more #chaperone #system terms #system coining #sysblr #system term #traumagenic system #system flag #osdd system #dissociative system #system stuff #plural system #did system #caretaker #caregiver #flag coining

[vodika-vibes]

Cody: *bursts into The Jedi Council room dramatically* Yes hi hello I’m very busy today so I’m just here to tell you that we’re moving to a greener planet soon—

Jedi Council: You can’t just tell us to move to another planet with you!

Cody: Are you implying that you have a choice in this?

What Cody says goes . . . 🤷‍♀️

Exactly! Cody makes all of the rules because he's the scary brother. (He's really not, the scary brothers are Neyo and Bacara, but the only people who know that are Adi Gallia and Ki-Adi Mundi, and they're keeping their peace).

Mace turns his accusing glare onto Obi-Wan, who is steadfastly ignoring the rest of the council in favor of making sure all of the honey is mixed into his tea properly. "Obi-Wan," Mace says through gritted teeth. "Mace?" Obi-Wan replies plesantly. "Would be you so kind as to tell your commander that he doesn't get to decide where the Jedi live?" "Oh, I probably could." Obi-Wan agrees, "But I'd like to live someplace with a little more green." He pauses and finally looks away from his tea, "Do you think, if I asked nicely, they'd find a planet with waterfalls? We could set the new temple at the top-" "Ooh, that would be so pretty!" Depa agrees, "And maybe with a rain forest. It'd be so good for the little ones to learn about animals in their natural habitats-" Mace clears his throat, and all eyes turn to him, "We cannot just leave Coruscant." "I mean." Adi Gallia muses thoughtfully, as if talking to herself, "All we really need is someone stationed here to listen to the Senate's bullshi-er...requests." "...You've been spending far too much time with your men, Adi." Ki-Adi scolds, "Besides, the Senate's requests are always reasonable. Always." He pours a liberal amount of something from a flask into his tea, and then takes a sip with a sigh, "However, I refuse to take the Senate posting." "It should rotate between Knights and Masters who don't currently have padawans. The last thing we need is our youngest exposed to the nightmare that is politics." Obi-Wan agrees. And that's that. The Jedi are moving with the Clones.

#star wars #star wars au #clone creche au

[shouldntcryoverit]

Fireworks

Dad!Rex x Jedi!Reader

w/ Padme, Anakin, Ahsoka, Obi wan and the Skywalker twins ;)) they’re all very much alive and happy.

After the war, with no order 66 because I said so. This is my first time ever writing children, a weird milestone i know, but I hope I did okay let me know! I was gonna give the 501st boys a mention or a scene, but it didn’t feel natural and I couldn’t squeeze it in - so if you want them there, they’re there <3

Also I decided on the name Mira as ‘mirjahaal’ translate to ‘peace of mind’ in Mando’a, and I just know that Rex would name his kid after something like that. (also i felt smart with the whole deeper meaner situation)

taglist -> @pinkiemme

———————————————————————

“Da!”

Rex swivelled his head to the table he had been called from. He still reacted to ‘Captain’ as a variation of his name, but for around three years now ‘Da’ had caught his attention far quicker.

“Yeah C’yare?”

Perched on the edge of the table was his four year old daughter, Mira, smiling smugly as she puffed out her chest and straightened her back just how she’d learnt from Cody. She beamed as her father walked over and pressed a small kiss to the top of her head.

In a short check formed out of habit, he recognised her now braided hair, which had been partitioned into two dainty lines down her blonde head. He had gotten better at doing hair for her sake, but not that good; Leia must’ve gotten ahold of her. Whereas Luke was becoming so much like his father, Leia already had the willpower and strength that mimicked her mother, though that was no bad thing.

Her dress, again courtesy of Padmé, was a beautiful blueish pink colour, and it matched in harmony with the rosemary hue of the sky that bled through the wide windows behind them. It was almost night, and somehow there was an undeniable peace in the air. Perhaps it was something about the time of day, or perhaps it was purely because nowadays there were hardly any reasons for it not to be peaceful.

“Tell Unca Ani I’m right!” Mira spoke with surprising indignation for someone so small. That had always made people laugh.

“I’m not wrong!” Anakin proclaimed, appearing to be hurt by the child’s comment, but failing to hide his grin.

He was rested against the kitchen counter, still slumped like he always did. He perked up slightly as the ‘argument’ began again.

Jaida was near enough to have heard most of their conversation from where she sat beside a dozing Ahsoka. She was mostly focused on the datapad in her hands: lists of still uncompensated troopers that still needed to be helped, but she was far more inclined to listen to the sounds behind her. She smiled distantly at how Anakin acted around her daughter. He softened, even as Mira babbled away.

As Rex and Mira sat and stood respectively, Anakin found it almost laughable how much they were alike. She looked so much like her mother, but her blonde hair and honey eyes were the exact copy of his, that was undeniable.

“Unca Ani say that on Flucca plants glow in tha dark!” Rex smiled sweetly at his daughter’s awe “But that’s imbossible!”

“It’s not!”

“Nope!” Mira popped the ‘p’ like Jaida always did. Anakin laughed at that. It was a solid argument.

“Well, then we’ll go to Felucia. You can see it all for yourself.”

It was a promise Rex was happy to make, especially as Mira lit up at his words.

“Gotta be careful though, sometimes they bite!” Jaida teased from behind the sofa back.

As Mira giggled, a knock sounded from the door to the apartment. Ahsoka stirred up in her light sleep, though Jaida hushed her and moved instead. She pushed off the couch beneath her, winking at the grinning toddler before she made it to the door.

As it opened, Padmé and the twins were revealed, both looking perky behind their tired faces. Luke looked half asleep in truth, but Leia was tugging the senator along with a fist she’d latched onto a few fingers. It had been a long day; no words were needed for Jaida to understand that.

“Hey! You all look so tired what happened?” Jaida laughed lightly as she welcomed them into the room.

“Yoda went bonkers.” There was a hint of remorse in Luke’s voice.

The Jedi chuckled, “What’s new?”

Padmé watched with kind eyes as her children weaved off, and laughed as Ahsoka only just managed to reposition her posture before she was attacked by them both. Luke and Leia were only a year and a bit older than Mira, but they matched each other in energy.

It took them no time at all to close the door and cross into the kitchen where Anakin, Rex and Mira were. Mira had resorted to asking about the different planets, to which Anakin found himself wishing to remember the answers. Rex couldn’t help himself from laughing at the exchange.

“Is the Senate in disagreement again?” Jaida asked as she grabbed a mug for Padmé’s tea, and judging by how she rubbed her temples she suspected she was right.

“Not entirely; it’s just this new vote. Some of the Senators are too focused on the expenses of it all, and I can’t blame them. It won’t be cheap, but it needs to be done.”

“This that liberation bill Cody was talking about?” Rex interjected.

“Yes, it should be simple enough. Only they’re just some people who I can’t seem to budge on it.” Padmé sighed, but didn’t hold that annoyance for much longer. “But anyway I didnt come here to discuss even more politics, how long until they start?”

The reason for their gathering. It wasn’t often that coruscant had fireworks, but when they did it was always something spectacular. The cause for this celebration was particularly important; the 5th anniversary of the end of the clone wars. The senate had decided without much debate to introduce the idea of fireworks, Anakin even joked that it was the quickest they’d ever decided something, yet it was still exciting nonetheless.

Ahsoka got up from where she had been talking to Luke and Leia and grabbed a fruit from the bowl. She laughed along with what conversation had been happened, and grinned at each joke and jibe.

“It’s a shame Obi-wan couldn’t make it back in time.” The togruta spoke after his mention.

“It won’t be the last time we have something like this, and plus, I think Mandalore have something planned as well!”

Ahsoka shrugged in agreement at Padmé, taking a bite at the same time.

“Oh, look!” She spoke between mouthfuls. They all followed the line of her outstretched hand, looking towards the window now beginning to light up in disarray.

“It’s starting!” Luke interjected. He pushed through to the front with Leia hot on his tail. And indeed it was, the beginnings of bright crackles started to compete with the stars behind them. The fireworks were just above the senate building, bemusing the gathering with small, golden splashes of light in intricate patterns. It wasn’t loud, the apartment being so far away, but the distant sound of bangs made Mira jump a few times.

Rex comforted her, taking her up in his arms. She relaxed as soon as she knew she was safe with him; he kept her safe. That was the promise he’d make a thousands times over and more if he could. Jaida met his eyes, and hugged his arm with her head rested on his shoulder. Everything was right; real. The war was over and they had won. The fireworks were a beautiful touch, but nothing could displace the satisfaction of watching your own life grow into something you never even imagined it could. Rex had endured enough, and now he could honestly say it was worth it. He kissed Jaida’s forehead as she melted into his side.

The smaller, yellowish bursts began to grow: feeding into the sky as pinks, oranges, blues and greens spiralled off from their sources. Each pop of colour that continued into circles or stars had it’s own mind, yet still unfolded as if it were puppetry. Some shot straight up and exploded after a minute of delightful teasing, and wove between themselves like missiles. They were the ones that made Luke squeal in excitement the most.

Others whirled in spirals, endlessly collecting momentum and continuing in their talented hast; or shattered into millions of personalised sparks you couldn’t choose which one to follow. They tumbled down in rains of coloured stars, settling as if the art they’d shared with an entire silent city was only fiction. Their message was received in awe, and Jaida held a teary gaze even as they faded. Luke and Leia clapped, Mira laughed, but the adults shared pregnant silence, a moment for what they had found for themselves. Children, family, peace. Love.

The war weighed heavily, it always would. But it was over, they had lived, and a new life had begun.

#captain rex x reader #rex x reader #captain rex #incorrect clone wars #rex headcanon #clone headcanons #clone trooper headcanons #501stlegion #501st battalion #501st #the clones #the clone wars #clone wars anakin #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anakin x padme #luke skywalker #leia organa #leia skywalker #padme skywalker #obi wan kenobi #commander cody

[jawns-butt]

so I’m still trying to plot out the next part in the quiet ghosts series (part 1 is here boyos: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521833/chapters/72535548) and its taking a while, but it was raining today and I had the clone wars soundtrack on and this sort of splurged out. lil oneshot post-war fixit, where the clones retake Kamino and Obi-Wan likes swimming (silly bastard): 

________________________________________________________________

It had been easy, in the end, suing for peace on Kamino. Perhaps the Kaminoans had seen it coming, because by the time the clone army had arrived, the laboratories and tubes and birthing chambers had been demolished, and the old settlements under the raging seas re-established. Cody remembered the yearly sacred pilgrimages the Kaminoans had taken to the sunken ruins of their ancient cities, and wondered if perhaps the safety of their roots was what convinced them to abandon the dome buildings on the surface. It wasn’t, but it was a pleasant thought. Every clone and every Jedi with them knew the true fact: in creating their greatest accomplishments, the Kaminoans had doomed themselves. They were the best cloners in the galaxy, and so recognised when they’d been beaten by their finest achievements. There were fewer of them too; many had vanished when the Empire had risen. Despite being isolationists, in dealing with both sides of the intergalactic conflict, they’d made many enemies. No one planet had declared war on them, nor any bounty hunters claiming to capture or kill a Kaminoan, but they’d disappeared in the same way that most of the Jedi had under the brief new Empire: quietly, without explanation, and without cries for justice.

Cody watched, Obi-Wan at his side, as his brothers stormed the cloning facilities. They had orders to destroy any threats, but none surfaced, and so instead they hunted vigilantly for booby traps, and scoured the networks for genetic modifications or unexpected code. Every man was free, but the suspicion and paranoia would remain, and so every man was also trapped.  The slicers worked hard, the cadets created a new home, the soldiers established sentries and boundaries and guards...

And Cody stood with his jetii.  

“What do you think, Commander,” asked Obi-Wan gently, “Peace in our time perhaps?”

Cody snorted. “Doubtful. We were bred for war; the boys won’t stay still for long.”

Obi-Wan hummed thoughtfully. “The Kaminoans evolved for life underwater. When the Great Flood pushed them upwards, they adapted.”

“They’re back underwater now,” replied Cody, smiling despite himself.

“Yes, but that ruins my analogy,” replied Obi-Wan, “And that was their choice.”

“A good choice. If they were still up here by the time we arrived-”

“What I’m saying is,” interrupted Obi-Wan, chuckling, “It is your choice too. If your brothers truly can’t stay still, there is room for mercenaries and police in this galaxy, but the war is over. If all you’ve ever known is war, how do you know that there is not something more for you?”

Touched, Cody reached out and clasped Obi-Wan's shoulder. “Thank you.”

Obi-Wan put his own hand over the top of Cody’s and squeezed gently. Then, he did something altogether peculiar: he walked to the edge of the landing zone and looked down upon the waves.  

“Sir?” asked Cody, watching carefully.  

“Do you know, Cody,” said Obi-Wan absently, “I feel freer now, with you, than I ever did at the Temple during wartime. It’s awful of me to say.”

Cody was quiet; he’d seen this behaviour in some of his men, and knew how to talk them down, but he had no idea how to comfort a man who had experienced such loss. He settled for walking forward and standing next to him, hoping the solid presence would help.  

“Do you trust me?” asked Obi-Wan suddenly, turning to him. Cody half expected there to be tears or misery in his eyes, but they were strangely clear and calm.  

“With my life,” replied Cody, as sure as the rain falling on Kamino.  

Obi-Wan grinned. “Excellent,” he said, “Shall we test that theory, Commander? Come with me.”

And then he jumped.

Heart pounding, Cody looked over the edge, into the roiling, angry waves of the dark ocean. When he was young, he and Fox and Wolffe, and his other batchmates that had marched on long ago, had stood at the edge and waited for someone to jump. He’d remembered the feeling of something calling inside of him, to jump, and he’d remembered resisting, feeling liberated for having not obeyed a command. It gave them purpose, knowing that there was more to them than their programming, and it was also stupid and reckless, befitting of young men preparing to go to war.  

He felt the same urge to jump now, the voice calling from inside, and, for the first time, he listened.

“Stupid, stupid jetii,” he cursed, and followed. There was no guilt in obeying the command, there was only the certainty of his safety and deep-set loyalty pushing him forward. The drop was high, and the wind cut at his face, even as he curled his head into his chest and extended his body out, lengthening it into a lance, expecting the pain of the waves to hit him. Salt air slapped him, and he scrunched his eyes shut, suddenly scared, the air going past him faster and faster and-

A gentle force cradled him suddenly, and he slowed down, gradually descending until he grazed the water. He opened his eyes: Obi-Wan was laughing, his palm held out, his hair plastered to his scalp. He looked wild and ravished by the waves and, for the first time since Cody had given him his lightsaber on Utapau, free.

The slight pressure around Cody vanished as Obi-Wan released him, and Cody settled for dropping into the rough waves and treading water.  There was a sharp tingle at the back of his throat from inhaling salt spray, and the coldness of the water was making his extremities slightly numb, but he was otherwise unhurt. Perhaps Obi-Wan was using the Force to calm the ocean around them too; it seemed substantially less wild being submerged in it than it had seemed looking down at it.  

“Please,” spluttered Cody, trying to sound angry, “Please never, ever do that again.”

Obi-Wan laughed again, before looking at him with a twinkle in his eye. “I won’t, I promise.” He looked up at the sky, the rain falling gently on his face, and closed his eyes, somehow managing to look peaceful in amongst the wrack and ruin of the water.  

#sw #star wars #tcw #the clone wars #cody #obi-wan #could be read as codywan i guess??? #my fics

[just-another-nerds-little-world]

1-30 for the music asks please🥰💕 (if it's not too much🤣)

Thank you, it's going to be a long list, hope you are prepared. xDD

1:A song you like with a color in the title - Cross Gene - Black or White - Ha Sung Woon - Blue - Mr. Big - Green-Tinted Sixties Mind

2:A song you like with a number in the title - Bryan Adams - Summer of '69

3:A song that reminds you of summertime - YooA - Bon Voyage - BOL4 - 여행 - Winner - Island - Sandra - Heaven Can Wait

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about - DuelJewel - Vamp Ash, a fromer friend with who the friendship ended badly, introduced me to DuelJewel with this song back then and everytime I listened to DuelJewel I was reminded of her and how she treated me. Fortunately today I can listen peacefully to DuelJewel without having bad memories coming back. ♥

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD - Cody Matthew Johnson feat. Suicide Silence - Subhuman (or short: Dante's Theme Song from DMC5) - Sandra - In The Heat Of The Night - Bon Jovi - Livin' On A Prayer

6:A song that makes you want to dance - U-KISS - Neverland (my get-hyped song Nr. 1) - BTOB - 신바람 (my get-hyped song Nr. 2) - Oh My Girl - Dun Dun Dance

7:A song to drive to - Shaun - Bad Habits, Way Back Home - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Scar Tissue

8:A song about drugs or alcohol I guess I'm too innocent since I had a really hard time coming up with a song, but I found one. xDD - Nickelback - Bottoms Up

9:A song that makes you happy - Cross Gene - 비상 - TWICE - Alcohol-Free - Oh Hayoung - Don't Make Me Laugh - Sandra - (Life May Be) A Big Insanity

10:A song that makes you sad - VIXX - 손의 이별 - iKON - I'm Okay - IM - 미치겠어 (Sad Story)

11:A song that you never get tired of - Bee Gees - Closer Than Close - Sandra - Little Girl - Mr. Big - To Be With You

12:A song from your preteen years - Blue - Breath Easy - Owl City - Fireflies - Gareth Gates - Anyone of Us (Stupid Mistake)

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs Don't worry, I'll keep it short. xDD - Spandau Ballet - I'll Fly For You - Toto - Africa - Heart - These Dreams - Foreigner - Say You Will

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding I am forever alone and never going to get married but hypothetically, I would love this songs to be played. - Bryan Adams - Heaven - Robin Gibb - Juliet - George Benson - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

15:A song that is a cover by another artist - Heart - Alone (Orginial song by i-Ten) - Sandra - Everlasting Love (Original song by Robert Knight) - Kra - 雨音はショパンの調べ (Original song by Gazebo) - a-ha - Crying In The Rain (Original song by The Everly Brothers)

16:One of your favorite classical songs - Beethoven - Silence (Stille) - Tchaikovsky - Dance of the Sugar-Plum Fairy, Waltz of the Flowers, Swan Lake Op. 20: I. Scene - Camille Saint-Saëns - Danse Macabre - Vivaldi - The Four Seasons - Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter (love all 4)

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke - Bee Gees - You Win Again - Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars - a-ha - Slender Frame

18:A song from the year that you were born - Madonna - Frozen - Aerosmith - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - Jennifer Paige - Crush

19:A song that makes you think about life - JJ Project - Tomorrow, Today

20:A song that has many meanings to you - Robin Gibb - Another Lonely Night In New York - Bee Gees - For Whom The Bell Tolls - Nik Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good - a-ha - The Sun Always Shines On T.V.

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title - Bon Jovi - Joey - Gazebo - I Like Chopin - Robin Gibb - Juliet

22:A song that moves you forward - I'm sorry I don't think there is one...

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to - Bee Gees - For Whom The Bell Tolls - Robin Gibb - Another Lonely Night In New York - YooA - Bon Voyage - Whitesnake - Is This Love - U-KISS - Stalker - INFINITE - The Eye - a-ha - The Sun Always Shines On T.V. - VIXX - Scentist - Sandra - Little Girl - B.I - 해변 (illa illa)

24:A song by a band you wish were still together - Bee Gees - Rings Around The Moon (R.I.P. Maurice & Robin) - MEJIBRAY - 醜詠 - AND -Eccentric Agent- - Liberate, CODE「B」

25:A song by an artist no longer living - Robin Gibb - Boys Do Fall In Love - Talk Talk - Such A Shame - Linkin Park - Papercut

Rest in Peace

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love - a-ha - Stay On These Roads - Bee Gees - How To Fall In Love, Pt. 1; How Deep Is Your Love - Woo Jinyoung x Kim Hyunsoo - 설레고 난리 (Falling in love)

27:A song that breaks your heart - Bon Jovi - (It's Hard) Letting You Go - Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest - BOL4 - 나의 사춘기에게 - Sojung - Stay Here

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love - Robin Gibb - How Old Are You? - Chanyeol - Wind Of Change (Original song by Scorpions) - Jennifer Rush - The Power Of Love

29:A song that you remember from your childhood - Michael Jackson - Earth Song - Robbie Williams - Feel - Bryan Adams - Here I Am

30:A song that reminds you of yourself - Nik Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good

It's like the lyrics are written right out of my heart and soul.

Thanks again, it was fun. ♥

#music asks #personal #Bryan Adams #Robin Gibb #Bee Gees #BOL4 #Linkin Park #Bon Jovi #Oh My Girl #YooA #aha #Sandra #VIXX #B.I #UKISS #INFINITE #Whitesnake #Beethoven #Tchaikovsky #Gazebo #Snow Patrol #Owl City #Toto #Foreigner #Heart #IKON #kpop #music

[shamrock96]

Trooper Tribute

Tribute to Boil

"Boil" was the nickname of a clone trooper who served in Ghost Company, part of the Grand Army of the Republic, during the Clone Wars. On the planet Ryloth, Boil joined his men, led by Obi-Wan Kenobi and Commander Cody, to liberate the Twi'lek slaves. Serving alongside fellow trooper Waxer, the two discovered the young orphaned Twi'lek child Numa, who led them to free the slaves.[2]Later, Boil joined Waxer once again when they were sent to rescue Obi-Wan Kenobi and clone trooper Trapper after their Republic gunship was shot down during the Second Battle of Geonosis.[4]Serving with the 212th Attack Battalion during the war, Boil later joined his fellow allies once again on the planet Kiros.[5]Near the end of the war, Boil joined clone troopers Threepwood and Tracker as they accompanied Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker in a search for Quinlan Vos, Count Dooku, and Asajj Ventress on the planet Christophsis. After inspecting the crash site of the fugitives' shipBanshee, the clones and Jedi determined that the fugitives were still alive but at least one of them was wounded. Shortly after, they attacked the Separatist base on the planet.[6]Years later, Numa, now a resistance fighter under the Free Ryloth movement, had a piece of armor on her left arm with the word "Boil" written in Aurebesh.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – "Innocents of Ryloth" (First appearance)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – "Liberty on Ryloth" (Appears in flashback(s))

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – "Landing at Point Rain"

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – "Senate Murders" (Appears in flashback(s))

Star Wars: The Clone Wars – "Kidnapped"

Dark Disciple

Star Wars Rebels – "Homecoming" (Mentioned only in writing)

Star Wars Rebels – "Hera's Heroes" (Mentioned only in writing)

#trooper tribute #star wars clone wars #clone trooper

[ronin-32]

Zulu-22

New Alexandria, Eposz, Reach

August 19th, 2552

2200 Hours LT

The rain pattered against the side of the falcon. The water ran down the propeller blades and onto the tarmac. It pooled around my boots and set the mood for the night. The different lights from the towers that sprung up from far below me reflected onto the wet rooftops, reflecting shimmering neon colors onto every surface. The massive fires from the fields of boiling plasma rippled in the distance. The cruiser that caused it floated calmly above. Clouds sailed around it as the dark smoke from the churning plasma turned the cloudy grey night skies black. I looked up into the sky, rain pelting my visor as another cruiser roared overhead, jetting over the massive city to the location it was ordered to glass. It swung itself broadside as it came to a halt twenty clicks out. The purple light on its underbelly growing brighter and brighter as it drew to full power, before releasing it in a shower of plasma that shook the ground and turned the sky to fire. I stood and watched in a horrified wonder. What chance do we have against something with that kind of power? I snapped to attention as our unit CO came up the wet stairs, his boots sloshing in the puddles that scattered the tarmac. Following close behind him was some ONI spook that we were here to evacuate to the Office of Naval Intelligence offices at the FLEETCOM HQ in Olympic Tower.

“Let's mount up, Kids.” The sergeant hollered as he approached the falcon. He pointed at me before yelling, “Cody, I want you on the port side fifty. Cover our take off from the east. Anderson, you've got starboard, covering from the west. I want to make it to Olympic tower in one piece, boys. You understand me?”

“Yes Sir, Sergeant!” I said hauling myself onto the falcons door gun.

As I sat down in my gunner seat after hooking my safety harness in I grabbed the bolt on the side of the machine gun and pulled it back letting it crack back into place, chambering a round. I looked up at the rotor on my side of the aircraft as it began to spin, shedding the water that had collected on it. The blades whined as they reached top speed, a ear piercing sound that would've been unbearable if not for the padded ears of my helmet. In no time the vehicle was airborne and we were speeding across the open airspace of New Alexandria. A city that was almost totally filled with fire from the constant plasma bombardments that the Covenant had so graciously gifted us with. Squadrons of Banshees could be seen gliding along over rooftops and sailing past the towering buildings. I sat in stunned silence as we traversed the black, smoke filled skies, watching the massive Covenant ships carve their way across the ground. I didn't hear Anderson yell contact, but the following gunfire of the fifty hammering rounds downrange sure snapped me back to the here-and-now. I turned in my seat to see the enemy forces that were engaging us. Two banshees had splintered off from a much larger squadron to deal with us. Anderson rained bullets on the two banshees and managed to drop the shields of one. The ships fired back, peppering the side of the bird, one bolt catching the ONI spook in the chest. Sergeant unbuckled himself as quickly as he could and rushed to treat the reeling agents smoking wounds. The two alien ships buzzed past us at remarkable speed and picked up speed as they shot out a couple miles in plain view of my side. As they were circling back for another run I opened fire on the ships the second they were within range, my bullets digging into the front of the one Anderson had been shooting at. Bullet holes sprung up all across the front of the vehicle as the ship erupted in fire and carened to the left sailing to the ground in a bright ball of purple alien fire. The other ship kept its course and lined us up more accurately. I realized what that meant, maybe a little too late, as the Banshee shot a glowing ball of plasma at our aircraft.

“Evasive maneuvers!” I yelled into my helmets mic. The pilot of the falcon banked the bird at a sickening angle that would have bucked me or Anderson out of the side doors had it not been for our safety harnesses. The Sergeant had managed to quickly pin himself to the interior of the falcon with his hands and feet so that he would not be tossed from the aircraft himself. The falcon shot towards the ground at breakneck speeds but the plasma bolt stayed on our tail, having locked onto our heat signature. I fired a couple of rounds at the Banshee which was trailing us, while Anderson shot at the plasma with little to no effect. As the bolt grew closer and closer the pilot yelled for us to brace as the missile slammed into the tail of the bird sending us pinwheeling through the air. The world spun past outside quicker and quicker as our falcon spun. Our Sergeant was flung from the aircraft out into the open air, not that he would’ve been able to hold on longer as we picked up speed. As we spun, dropping altitude quicker and quicker I picked out something in the small glimpses of the world the rushed by as we spun like an airborne top. It was a building that we were headed right for. I turned in my seat to yell at Anderson to hold on, but we collided with the glass and steel giant as I did, tearing my co-gunner from his position and ripping away our other rotor with the shrieking sound of metal tearing and shredding. Glass shards ripped at my fatigues and glanced off my helmets tinted visor, chipping away at it. The bird spun in place, jerking around as its still functioning rotor dug its way into the buildings interior and caught a crossbeam in the wall. It ripped and tore at the carpet, desks and the steel that made up the buildings interior. I gasped as my breath was pushed from my body as something hard hit me in the back. I doubled over, looking down at my stomach which had the new addition of a forearm sized piece of jagged metal that was freshly coated with crimson. I barely had time to react to my wound as the falcon jerked itself hard, throwing me from my seat as my harness ripped from the force. I flew up and smashed my head on the roof with enough force that without the helmet, I would have broken my neck. Now free from my death trap of a harness, the falcon’s violent thrashing tossed me away from the vehicle and deep into the offices that it was destroying. I crashed onto a desk in the middle of the room and landed on not only a rather uncomfortable PC, but the exposed metal that had punctured my stomach. I hollered as the metal ripped at my flesh and caused my bleeding to worsen. Without a second thought to my injuries I rushed to my feet, stumbling as I ran for the cockpit attempting to rescue the pilot. As I neared the cockpit window I could see the pilot was already dead, blood pouring from his mouth. Stunned I stepped closer to check just as the port side engine exploded engulfing the bird in fire and sending me careening back into yet another desk, landing on my wound, which tore even more at my insides. Slowly in a painful, lethargic state I reached into my survival kit in my pack and brought out my canister of biofoam to hopefully seal my wound as much as possible. I sprayed the can liberally on my chest and attempted to reach my backside, but only managed to cover some of it. I rolled onto my side looking at the bird in the hole in the wall.

As I lay dazed, my vision blacking I could see the damaged and plasma burned exterior of the falcon slipping from the building's ledge falling away into the dark cloud filled abyss below. Through the hole the falcon had made I could see another CSS Cruiser moving into place. Its main excavation cannon charging in preparation for turning its designated sector to a hardened slag that was anything but actual glass.

#halo #halo reach #writing

[skwonkk]

Your Name Your Birthday

1 January: 2K Rin Dia Rod 2 January: Zero Bianca 3 January: Still Life Pillow Luca 4 January: Glow 5 January: Berry Sion Clover 6 January: Dust Ayami Mio 7 January: Tipsy Whip Beat 8 January: The Path Garnet 9 January: Kayla 10 January: Metropolis Nono 11 January: Shion Commercial Success Courtly 12 January: Chillin’ 13 January: Back There Billy 14 January: Spunky 15 January: Coolstina 16 January: The Probe The Secret Garden 17 January: Slippery Flora 18 January: Winter Lizzie So Interesting 19 January: Secret Tinny 20 January: The Whole Truth Dian Yell 21 January: Bunny 22 January: Lily 23 January: Ruka 24 January: Ginger Lunar Pride 25 January: Rinka 26 January: Zara Xavier 27 January: Baltic 28 January: Survivor Honey Hello Hello 29 January: The Fever 30 January: Nabu Gil 31 January: Mute The Elevator Snips Aoi Luca

1 February: Nephrite Elephant Super Sunil 2 February: Shiori Lloyd Giraffe 3 February: Tortoise 4 February: Owl 5 February: Rewind Lizard Dorothy Emma 6 February: Horrorscope 7 February: Quarantine Nina Cinderella Girl 8 February: Hen 9 February: Amelie Spider Pepper 10 February: Twenty-Two Vulture 11 February: Caterpillar Dexter Darling 12 February: Tagged Lion 13 February: Luna Jaden 14 February: Gramma Prase Jasper Ito Madoka Adora 15 February: Timmy Monkey The Pearl Princess Ann 16 February: Warthog Sibling Rivalry 17 February: Rhino 18 February: Jackal Glass Doll Super Stars 19 February: Elegy Frog Going Viral 20 February: Junior League Casey Believe My Dream Dresden 21 February: Miniature 22 February: Grounded Hippo 23 February: Porcupine Alicia 24 February: Hare 25 February: The Wall Voice Activated 26 February: Mirror Image Memphis Mariposa Bat Pink Shoes Hime 27 February: Pompoms Ivory 28 February: Smile 29 February: Louis

1 March: Bad Dreams Flora Inside Job 2 March: Coral 3 March: Cold Spell Just Dancing 4 March: Class Confusion 5 March: Deuce Blooming 6 March: Nip Believe 7 March: Lana 8 March: Curie 9 March: Flora Grace 10 March: Swirly 11 March: Cinderella 12 March: Mosquito Jessi Majesty 13 March: Jewel Hunter 14 March: Wakaba Nino 15 March: Tickbird Ichigo 16 March: Las Vegas Crocodile Pandy 17 March: Thumbelina Zebra Leonardo 18 March: Snake 19 March: Flamingo Shining Star 20 March: Sky Roxy Memorial 21 March: Red Snow Bushbaby Kind Feelings 22 March: Guinea Fowl 23 March: Buffalo Tyler 24 March: Puff Adder Nina Star Party 25 March: Love is Blind Eagle 26 March: Fire and Ice Skunk Aqua Pretty Pretty Shiori 27 March: Cricket Precious 28 March: The Library Mole Triangle Star Ace 29 March: Squirrel 30 March: Yui Meerkat Lotsa Luck 31 March: Cheetah

1 April: Frozen Time Peanut Akari Ace 2 April: The Placebo Effect Pink Ann Daring 3 April: Charotte Joy Drop Mao 4 April: Dream Parade Helen Leo 5 April: Whisper 6 April: Sakura Forever Dream 7 April: Moonlight Mystery 8 April: Special Service Ready Action 9 April: Astra Holly 10 April: The Eclipse Chosen with Care 11 April: Family Vacation 12 April: Twist 13 April: Zips Frenemies STARDOM 14 April: Charlotte 15 April: Swindler Penny 16 April: Jake Custard 17 April: Rald You 18 April: Cody Cabiria Maria Glycine Popstar Inner Voice 19 April: Quackers 20 April: Diana 21 April: Liberated 22 April: Wish List Daia 23 April: The Collection Just Sweet Mel 24 April: Ryl 25 April: Open Your Heart 26 April: Rain 27 April: Please Mary Soul 28 April: Dyna 29 April: Woodpecker Cashmere Jackie Ruby 30 April: Eye of the Beholder Developing Duchess

1 May: Lucky Bluebell 2 May: Marsha Buckley 3 May: Marshmallow 4 May: Sarah 5 May: Shadow Play Plants vs. Zombies Otome Paula Peach 6 May: Sniffer Pearly 7 May: Homecoming Manny 8 May: Spinner 9 May: Lisa Manny Mirai Maria Coral Fashion 10 May: Karin Lock 11 May: Motherly Honey 12 May: Party Crasher Alistair 13 May: Moonlight Apple 14 May: The Wrong Number Party Planners Rose 15 May: Phoebe 16 May: Soulmate 17 May: Identity 18 May: Scarlet Tessa 19 May: Hugo Twigs 20 May: Peach Ruli 21 May: Mystic Sunrise Burned Wing 22 May: Miu 23 May: The Bard 24 May: Kitty 25 May: Runner 26 May: Tiggs 27 May: Scat 28 May: Mickey 29 May: Up 30 May: Jackson Take Me Higher Naughty Child 31 May: Fluffball Bobo

1 June: Mell Gift Keke 2 June: Flitter 3 June: Mr. Bevis Sprouts Hungry Play Sound 4 June: Toga The Hot Boy 5 June: Date Night Moonlight 6 June: Aroma Alexander 7 June: Trace 8 June: Luna Madeline Lizi Cinnamon 9 June: Sara Kaguya 10 June: Mac Ange 11 June: Legend Hinaki Macaron 12 June: Operetta Gigi Justice 13 June: As It Is 14 June: Zig-Zag 15 June: Aisha Meg 16 June: Gastro 17 June: Sala 18 June: So Min 19 June: Holly 20 June: Leonid Apprentice 21 June: Poolside 22 June: Carnation 23 June: Sammy 24 June: Sand 25 June: Tracing a Path Teacup 26 June: Frankie 27 June: Tangerine 28 June: Frolic 29 June: Karin 30 June: Bananas Laura

1 July: Matey 2 July: Iceberg Amy 3 July: Beauty Bog Bash 4 July: Flamy Don 5 July: Kris 6 July: Sara Serena Cassie Anna 7 July: Dice Atlas 8 July: Splash 9 July: Summer Magic 10 July: Sango Meisa 11 July: Mondo 12 July: Mirai 13 July: Fries 14 July: Ringo 15 July: Spike 16 July: Filly Prism 17 July: Cedar Keke Jennifer 18 July: Mandy 19 July: Amazing Castle Rae 20 July: Whirly Mermaid Aine 21 July: Bijoux 22 July: Groovey 23 July: Thorns of Death 24 July: Catsby 25 July: Tsubasa 26 July: Beto 27 July: Furry 28 July: Freedom Fight 29 July: Ruby 30 July: Dad’s Affair Ace Sophie Ciel 31 July: Scorch Melody

1 August: Elza 2 August: Guided 3 August: Sasha Peridot Ran Pride Never Give Up 4 August: Velvet 5 August: Totally Busted 6 August: Enchanting 7 August: Heavenly 8 August: Nanami Mia Maika Butterfly 9 August: Briar Revontulet 10 August: King Toasty 11 August: Rhapsody 12 August: Pete Top 13 August: Prairie 14 August: Eugene 15 August: Dollop 16 August: Leona Bill Earth 17 August: Boo 18 August: Stella 19 August: Rosa 20 August: Vermin Radiance 21 August: Colorful Zazzy Fontaine 22 August: Nix Emma Passion Island 23 August: Mona Courier 24 August: The Second Audition Rio 25 August: Dancing Days Edward 26 August: Clarice Rock 27 August: Sting Gelato 28 August: Pounce 29 August: Adonis 30 August: Mallow 31 August: Halo

1 September: Craig Vega 2 September: Sport 3 September: Rhythm Zinger 4 September: Friend Sugar Coated 5 September: Cinder 6 September: Coal 7 September: Igor 8 September: Lily Elena 9 September: Loong Blondie Emo 10 September: Dream Dream Dream Milky 11 September: Smokey 12 September: Cosmo Twinkle 13 September: Noodles 14 September: Patricia The Lonely Queen 15 September: Two Akio Otoha Zappy 16 September: New Kid in Town 17 September: Diamond Dolphin Magic 18 September: Evergreen For Victory 19 September: Anastasia Cathy 20 September: Peggy Sky 21 September: Rosette Nebula Ruby Noah 22 September: Frost 23 September: Brandon Amour 24 September: Zelda Chocolat Taro 25 September: Dream Lover 26 September: Forest Leafy Julia 27 September: Farrah Vanilla 28 September: Queenie 29 September: Stinger 30 September: Swan Lake

1 October: Rapunzel Slumber Party Twyla 2 October: Sora Hera Dreams 3 October: Mint Opal Jay 4 October: Steel Wordplay Chameleon Mikan Karen Sparkle 5 October: Jackie 6 October: K Prisoner’s Dilemma Lily Anastasia 7 October: Akira 8 October: Traffic Light 9 October: Time Lapse Tarte Tatin 10 October: Black Hiro Irina Misha 11 October: Healer 12 October: Lovely Omurice 13 October: Friends Forever Tour 14 October: Rainbow 15 October: Pet Show Real Beauty Flamingo 16 October: The Pool Guy Lolly Shining Star 17 October: Berry 18 October: Nightcrawlers 19 October: Protection 20 October: The Mirror One More Time Truth and Lies 21 October: Hye In 22 October: Snip Life on Earth Autumn 23 October: The Nutcracker Forward Thinking Divided 24 October: Sofia 25 October: Spot 26 October: Belongings Anya 27 October: Haunt 28 October: The Deadly Labyrinth 29 October: Memories 30 October: Harsh Mistress Upgrade Midnight Reina 31 October: Moonlight Cerise Can’t Say

1 November: Hughie 2 November: FREEDOM Mario 3 November: Scarlet 4 November: Jade A Christmas Carol Candy 5 November: Lovie Shirley Catherine 6 November: Chosen 7 November: Ants 8 November: Leila 9 November: Melty 10 November: One Step 11 November: Fate Bell Seira Ange 12 November: Illuminated Magical 13 November: The Lonely Hunted 14 November: Butterfly 15 November: Chili Let’s Find It 16 November: Calliope Azure 17 November: Bad Hair Day Crystal Rocket Heart 18 November: Red Shoes 19 November: The Call Truth or Dare 20 November: Prance Sanctuary Lala 21 November: Bolt Magical Time Charisma Papaya 22 November: Ostrich Mauled 23 November: Camel 24 November: Wildebeest Cupid 25 November: Chameleon Raven 26 November: The Trance Leopard 27 November: Super Fan Run & Run Their Choice 28 November: Joey Lemon 29 November: The Shadow Man Inky Hyena Headmistress Change My World Brawler 30 November: Ants Yuzuru

1 December: The Jungle Flea Juri Granite Sage 2 December: Nightmare Hummingbird Asahi 3 December: Larimar Baboon Kii Liz 4 December: Asuka Crumbs 5 December: Wish 6 December: The Beacon Bees Nikki Suzu Mia 7 December: Peacock 8 December: Aardvark 9 December: Legend Whale Jillian 10 December: Vegas Bloom Camping Parrot 11 December: Last Lap Jin 12 December: Fur Will Fly Leah 13 December: Weaver 14 December: ALIVE Smoothie 15 December: Ava 16 December: Velvet 17 December: The End of the World 18 December: Rochelle Someday 19 December: Tata 20 December: The Star Freezie Realize 21 December: Snowfall 22 December: Snowball 23 December: Midnight 24 December: The Trunk Aria Lilly 25 December: Karma 26 December: Yurika Mint Mika 27 December: Justine Pina 28 December: Admiral 29 December: Io 30 December: Flashy Slamdunk 31 December: Prickles Jewely

#Your Name Your Birthday

[sslowdeathh]

hi chat. i know this is not an art blog but i wanted to show you my drawing. thank you

#i like her a lot!!!!!! #✦ the waves of dependence #✦ liberating rain . . . ( cody ) #✦ liberating rain . . . ( blurry ) #eloquent countenance #racheldrawsthis #angelica eloquent countenance

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL Kentucky Derby Preview: 2020

Zeus woke up hungover as balls with a missing wallet, his mouth tasted of grass. After divining a misting rain to fall gently upon his forehead he attempted to recollect the source of his wretchedness. Dionysus had sneak-hoarded all the Wild Turkey the previous day so angry Zeus was left drinking Four Roses like a nerd. As many maiden know, angry + drunk = horny. Zeus emboldened by dweeb bourbon brought beastilality into the bedroom. And lo, did he while soused turn his sidepiece Lo into a sow. Nine months later, lo did Lo give birth to the first Thundercow.  

The modern Thundercow has since been been modified via Mongolian eugenics, Irish Alchemy and Pygmy giraffe experiments.

Today we wager upon nature's onward gallop of shame.  

Stilt Pigs Field at Bengali Genocide Downs

1. Max Player 19-1 2. Enforceable 25-1 3. Storm the Court 28-1 4. Major Fed 39-1 5. King Guillermo SCR 6. Money Moves 15-1 7. South Bend 37-1 8. Mr. Big News 46-1 9. Thousand Words 11-1 10. Necker Island 49-1 11. Sole Volante 36-1 12. Attachment Rate 51-1 13. Winning Impression 53-1 14. Ny Traffic 15-1 15. Honor A. P. 8-1 16. Tiz the Law 4-5 17. Authentic 9-1

Enough Equine Analysis Fit For A Porcine

Enforceable would Storm The Court if they upset anyone here.  Major Fed should step in, Authentic moniker is a Jungian projection of guilt. Baberts doped up shit unicorns have Flo Jo hearts.   Mr. Big News was caught with Max Player on Necker Island, it’ll take more than a Thousand Words for him to make a Winning Impression on his traditional South Bend (sic: ugly) wife.  

Look for Money Moves to trickle up, Tiz The Law.  Sole Volante is the curse of choice for middle of the pack Honour A. P jockeys boxed in like Ny Traffic. 

There has to be goddamn lucrative Quinella here somewhere. Sprinkle liberally, this race is a roulette table for second place. 

Who My Moron Colleagues Picked

ms621 who inspired the animal fucking intro: Sole Volante. Cody: I choose Honor AP because it'll look great on my transcript.

Ghost of Mole: South Bend Rat Fucker  Spencer: South bend because I’m imagining a horse on a camera tower and laughing.

Stark: Can I box my bet? NY Traffic, Tiz The Law, and Major Fed for the sake of the NYPD being openly party to running over protesters

Odss I puke from too many mint juleps: 9-1

#Kentucky derby #triple crown #mint juleps #gambling

[eirianerisdar]

The Inter-System Kenobae Fanclub

Also known as The One Where The Entire Galaxy Realises Obi-Wan Needs To Be Mothered

Summary: As above. Mildly crack. Mostly my favourite combo of angst + humour. Oneshot. Early/mid-Clone Wars. (I have no excuse but it was very liberating to write something as tropey as possible so…)

Really, in hindsight, that particular event shouldn’t have made the war-reels.

But it did.

As it turned out, there had been a holonet war correspondent on board The Negotiator when Ki-Adi-Mundi and Obi-Wan Kenobi returned from the second battle of Geonosis; already, the hangar had been aflutter with whispers that the landing at Point Rain had not gone well.

The journalist had carefully leant out from behind a supply crate (he was technically not allowed in here, he knew), and raised his holocam at the exact moment an oil-streaked, blood-spattered LAAT/i scraped open its doors to reveal a russet-haired Jedi general, clad in equally russet robes.

A general that took two halting steps forward before collapsing onto his knees, blood splattering across the duracrete from lips muffled by a dirt-streaked gauntlet.

Shouts rang out across the hangar’s oil-slicked floor; General Mundi crouched beside Kenobi, hand on his counterpart’s shoulder, whispering words that were lost in said counterpart’s hacking coughs - Kenobi sounded as though he was disgorging half the contents of his chest.

The journalist’s shock at seeing a High Jedi General reduced to this state had not impeded his holocam from recording everything.

And slowly, the holonet correspondent had realised that Kenobi’s robes were not supposed to be dyed russet.

Engine oil. Blood, too. Mostly blood.

Now, after a veritable army of medics have lifted General Kenobi onto a hover-stretcher and whisked him away, the journalist flips open his holocam display and reviews the footage.

Perfect.

He pulls a wadge of stickli-root gum out of his pocket and jams it in his mouth, chewing eagerly as he slinks back down the hallways to his cabin. He is not stupid; his superior will want to see this. But that being said…if his boss deems it unfit for the war reels, footage of this particular subject will fetch a very high price indeed.

He smells profit, indeed - even if for the moment, it smells like stickli-root.

The footage hits the holonet three days later, and instantly crosses the galaxy faster than a Hutt power-coup through the information black market.

Sat in the officers’ mess, with The Negotiator’s comforting at-dock hum under his feet, Obi-Wan begins to notice something is off when a senior lieutenant all-but sprints in and makes a lunge for the nearest group of similar-ranked officers, mouth moving in a frantic whisper.

Frissons of shock seep into the Force; none of particular group are particularly Force-sensitive, and hence none of them have shields to speak of. The frissons tumble over each other and rear up into a wave of gossip that flares through the mess like a flash-fire.

Obi-Wan looks up from his cup of mid-morning tea to find himself the centrepoint of over two dozen curious gazes.

He raises an eyebrow.

Instantly, eyes are averted; a few of the more newly-promoted lieutenants actually jump in their seats.

Obi-Wan finishes his tea, picks up his datapad, and makes for the 212th’s training hall. Perhaps he will find more sanity there; even the personnel he encounters in the durasteel corridors seem to be staring at him as he passes.

He does not quite make it all the way there before his comlink bleeps.

Obi-Wan raises his wrist. “Kenobi.”

Cody’s voice, while slightly distorted by static, sounds somewhat…off. “General, sir! You’d best get to the ventral hangar. There’s a…well, it’s not a situation, but I don’t know how to describe it, sir.”

Obi-Wan makes an about-turn and sets off at a brisk pace. “Do try, Cody,” he says, calmly.

“We’ve just received an unexpected shipment from the planet surface, sir. The hangar overseer didn’t know what to make of it, and so he commed me.”

“A shipment of munitions? That’s for Navy to oversee, not you or I.”

“It was marked for you, sir. And it’s not munitions.”

Obi-Wan ducks into a turbolift and palms the controls; it seems to drop with the rise of his confusion. “What is it, then?”

“We’re finding it a bit difficult to categorise, sir. There are…stuffed objects of unclear use. My HUD tells me they are called plushies, sir. Native flowers, too, and some sort of confectionery. Might be muja-sweets, sir.”

It takes Obi-Wan a moment to absorb this particular revelation, but the turbolift slows to a halt before he can properly formulate a reply.

The durasteel doors slide open to a scene of such incongruous hilarity that Obi-Wan actually freezes, halfway onto the hangar floor.

There is a veritable mountain of hover-crates piled haphazardly in one of the central loading bays, illuminated in the blue glow of the giant magnetic shield beside it; beyond, the aquamarine sky above the navy docking station shimmers brilliantly.

And spilling out of the crates are piles upon piles of…balloons. And plush toys. Sweets. Expensive fruit. Blankets. Garments that look suspiciously like convalescent bathrobes. Oh, and what in sith-spawned stars-

“Boil,” Obi-Wan says, stepping forward smartly, “Would you mind explaining what you have on your feet?”

The aforementioned trooper has the sense to blush. “Um. Fluffy slippers, sir. That’s what the package said, at least.” He glances down at them. “They’re shaped like banthas.” Then, seeming to realise he has perhaps said a bit too much, he falls silent.

Waxer, watching from two paces away, suddenly covers his mouth in an apparent coughing fit.

Obi-Wan decides not to comment. He glimpses Cody’s distinctive orange-yellow visored helmet behind a mound of pink-hued plush nerfs, and makes his way over there, instead.

“Cody,” he says, once he is close enough.

“Sir,” Cody acknowledges. “I’ve set the men to examining the contents of the crates.”

“And as for the cause of all this?”

Cody scrutinises the datapad in his hand. “This way, General.”

General and commander pick their way over to where two troopers are sat with a crate as a makeshift table, organising sheets of flimsy and datachips in two neat columns.

They snap to attention. “Sir!”

“Wooley. Trapper.” Obi-Wan favours the latter with a warm smile. “And are you recovered, Trapper?”

“Much better, sir,” Trapper says, the mask of his helmet not quite hiding his obvious pleasure at the recognition. “You helped me keep calm in that downed LAAT/i. I couldn’t thank you more, sir.”

Obi-Wan waves the thanks away. “If anyone deserves gratitude, it would be Waxer and Boil for coming to find us.”

“The cargo manifest, General.” Wooley says, handing over a sheet of flimsi.

Obi-Wan runs a hand over his beard as he frowns at the list of goods. “This reads like a medcentre goodwill shipment,” he observes. “Toys. Blankets. Supplementary medicines. Confectionery and sweets. Fruit.”

“There’s something more, sir,” Trapper breaks in. “Handwritten letters. This was the largest.”

The garishly glittery piece of hardened flimsy is almost the length of Obi-Wan’s forearm, and folded in half; he breaks the old-fashioned seal on the side and opens it, warily. Cody leans forward to look over Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

A moment.

Cody snorts, the sound exploding through his helmet speakers before a quick jerk of his head silences them. His shoulders, however, continue to shake minutely in mirth.

Every trooper within earshot turns to stare at him, unnerved by the sudden change in their usually stoic commander.

“Yes, Cody, hilarious,” Obi-Wan says dispassionately, folding the flimsy again. “Wooley, Trapper, please make arrangements to have these goods sent to the nearest relief shelters for displaced war refugees.” That said, he hands the flimsy back to Trapper.

“Yes, sir!”

“And when you’ve recovered, Cody, I’d like that report on our new recruits on my desk by this evening.”

“Yes, General Kenobi,” Cody acknowledges, calmly. There is no trace of hilarity in his voice.

“As you were, then.”

There is a chorus of “Sir!” and snapped salutes, and then Obi-Wan has moved past his men and is walking steadily towards the hangar exit.

When the Jedi is gone, yellow-orange-painted armour congregates around their commander.

“So…?” Waxer asks, expectantly.

Cody pauses for a moment, as if debating something with himself; and then his helmet dips in a sigh as he gestures at Trapper. “Read it,” he says, resignedly. “I wasn’t here,” he supplements as he strides away.

Trapper opens the flimsy, and begins to read aloud.

“Dear General Kenobi,

“We of the assembled Inter-System Kenobae Fanclub-”

“Kenobae fanclub?!” Waxer splutters.

“Shh!” Boil hisses. “Go on, Trapper.”

Looking increasingly discomfited, Trapper continues.

“We of the assembled Inter-System Kenobae Fanclub (ISKF) present these gifts to you, as a token of our appreciation for your heroism for the Republic. We worry for your health, General. The recent war-reels have only emphasised your unceasing service to the GAR despite the many wounds and injuries you have sustained. Having seen the footage of your injuries from the Second Battle of Geonosis, we are deeply moved by your bravery. Please use these gifts in your recovery; we wish you a speedy return to good health. We have also started a campaign on the holonet in your name, promoting your heroic actions across the galaxy. It currently trending on multiple platforms with the tag #Kenobaeisourhero.

“Signed, the four million members of ISKF.”

A pause.

Wooley nudges Trapper. “There’s more.”

Trapper grimaces. “P.S. A note from the chair of ISKF: I have enclosed a poster of you and General Skywalker. If it isn’t too much to ask, could you autograph it and ask for General Skywalker’s signature, as well? I have included a return package with an address. May the Farce be with you, General.”

“The Farce?” a trooper whispers, from the outer ring of those assembled.

There is pure silence, for a few moments. It is the sort of silence that compresses upon itself, like a star before it explodes into supernova.

And then the hangar walls reverberate with hoots of laughter as the remaining members of the 212th descend into chaos. Waxer and Boil cling to each other for balance, tears of amusement streaming down their cheeks, and then when they each find the other too overcome for support, reach out and catch Trapper, shrieking with hilarity.

“Hey, hey, we need to tell the 501st!”

“Wait ‘till Fives hears about this-”

Six levels up and sat cross-legged on the meditation pad in his private chambers, Obi-Wan Kenobi feels the laughter of his men cascade through the Force the same time the comm unit on his desk spits out out an audio code specific to Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, of the 501st.

Obi-Wan decides to take a moment before opening his eyes. If Anakin is going to spend the next five minutes screaming laughter at him from across the galaxy, he can afford to wait another minute.

END

This has got to be the most crack-ish thing I’ve written in years. Very relaxing to write, though.

For a more in-depth look at Obi-Wan during Landing at Point Rain, have a look at The Rain Curtain. (skip ahead to the 8th chapter for those of you who are impatient <3)

For more serious Obi-Wan in Clone Wars era, try Little People and Heart of Kyber (this one also has a tumblr link). Reblog as you like, and thanks for reading!

My fanfic masterlist

My ff.net profile and stories

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #tcw #obi-wan kenobi #commander cody #anakin skywalker #anakin #kenobi #cody #my post #fanfic

[theliterateape]

In Cody Pomeray's Room

By Dana Jerman

BEFORE HE CAME IN FROM THE RAIN, it was desperately hot in his room. A promise of an airless moaning furnace.

I was early. I sat, listening to change spilling out of my own pockets and someone two fights down practicing a mugging. Why exactly I wouldn't take off my coat because I wasn't wearing a bra, I don't know. That's stupid—like buying film the day after you lose your camera.

Whatever wise-but-crying fever-god looks out for women who go braless under black sweaters made sure Cody did not keep a cat. I couldn't take that. The combined stifle and allergy may have decimated my wafer thin absurd legend of will to keep every shred of soaked clothing on.

This is all way before I became his secret waystation. His repository of magical degrees of wife.

Then, I was just a pocket-wearing lover at rest in an apartment like a still life, with the downpour scouring windows and tinkling at the downspout. It did nothing for the heat. In waves it piled like plague victims at the back door of a church.

We were about to meet like a pair of broken glasses. We were blind then, and he could have been anyone.

Moons later, on that third floor at Cody’s, the sounds of Saturday after midnight would be delicious. From the cracked window I could hear people begin to lose their minds with uncurated pleasantness—drink and smoke and formless conversation peppered liberally with swearing. These were the modern adventures on the island of misfit toys. Each toy its own island. Down they drift on a street named after a random goddess parked like a black root over blasted earth.

I want to play, but want to watch more. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself while my breath extended my folded presence into the abused silence. Swatched in blue light and old music and a fetishized pilled blanket that wasn't mine.

This island would look differently if I was in charge. I would not elect for an ultra terrestrial forgetting. Responsible for spires upon spires of invisible real estate. Swollen with the argument of itself. All caught up in sizzling ivy and toppled moonshine.

Cody Pomeray’s room on its block weaved through with the resounding patterns of so many faraway car alarms. Meanwhile him all grown and snoring softly out. That ancient weightless speech of a half-drunk dreamer. Those sorts of dreams kept me up after a shiver spell. They only put him deeper and deeper.

To watch him and his place above the street, I had eyes open almost to the hour of the wolf. I was a witch who heard match-strikes bleed from the bird-patterned-paper draped walls and puddle into black sweaters which glimmered on the floor of me like rain-inked puddles that would always be still.

The skeptics at the entrance of my eyes. Twin bouncers leisurely evaluating the memory of Cody’s smile- itself an interface for the poverty of celebrity. Lonely as a phoenix on a long drive to the immolation place.

Anyhow, the wild beams, the limbs of headlights. They accost wet paves while we’re trafficking in the mantra of connecting spaces. Near the sides of testimony I’ve become the patron saint of hallways. Corridor queen haunting for good—double in brass to room and bored.

Cooler now, Cody grasps another clap of darkness. Again, his practical sense cannot evade the law. My hair cascades precise as broken mayday. My nostrils inhales’ squint like Egyptian violets. We hear the rats after he has made tea and the storm passes into history.

#daydreaming #illusions #quietude #sweaters #feminine gaze #poetic fictions #guesses at reality #sleepwalking #initiate #soma #Fiction #isolation #alone #together #enforced solace #plagued #new lovers

[literateape]

On Flash

by Dana Jerman

It’s official! It has a day.

Flash Fiction has its own day. And everybody knows, if a thing has its very own celebratory day, then it might be worth paying attention to, if only for a brief (or extremely brief) time.

It has been a few years since The Guardian online highlighted May 16th as a day for celebrating the art of micro-fiction, and in the world of hyperactively-dwindling-attention spans and ultra-acronymned-hyphenated-hashtaggery, this genre of writing styles has found room to keep on growing.

“Typically a piece of fiction comprised of a hundred words or less” by way of basic Google definition, Wikipedia emphasizes the occasional extreme brevity of the form, which breaks up by word count: “…the Six-Word Story, 140-character stories, also known as twitterature, the dribble (50 words), the drabble (100 words), and sudden fiction (750 words).” 

One of the most famous examples of the six-word story being Vladimir Nabokov’s alleged “saddest story in the world”:

“He is here. She is there.”

The reader is called upon to fill in the gaps where the tale is at its most laconic...

        Numbers, Then Letters-

At the bar, something was devastatingly familiar about her.

She was on about pop musicians and here he kept feeling her, in his mind, say things like "Fifty-first street." and "Forty-Five Hundred West Talcut Avenue." or "Please yield your seat to the handicapped."

He hadn’t caught her name, but he went for it:

“Excuse me you, ah.. You're not a ah, voiceover artist per chance... are you?"

She sat stunned for a moment, then smiled slowly:

"Twenty-Second Avenue. Route Seven-A."

As she tipped her wine and turned back to her date, he was seized with the notion that she'd probably be the closest he'd ever get to meeting a celebrity.

-

In my humble estimation, the genre often best bulwarked by poetry. 

A story not so much a story but a glimpse of a moment that often leaves the reader desirous of more...

        Apocalypse in Paris-

The early dawn downpour washed the little stack of brass coins off the low shelf on Oscar Wilde’s gravestone. They floated like drunken boats down the jaggedly paved way and smeared into the granite palm of Edith Piaf’s marker. She took them, swallowed them, and was reborn as a clocktower which rung out into the ears of hidden birds who were craving a new song and didn’t mind too if it kept time…

That’s when I woke up. Ghosts in my head made me get out of bed and drift into the day.

I was on the Square de I’lle de-France when it happened. Sky a dustier grey and park empty. By then the hour approached noon.

There was a queer grumble. A thud with a groan attached.

No dark birds flew off in a flock. No chaos and high voices. Just silence. I lit a cigarette and pulled up on my jacket hood.

Within 10 minutes there were sirens. A long wave of them in an echo-scream tumbling slow out of the many corners of the city and toward each other. Louder and louder, calling attention, attention.

It didn’t occur to me to be concerned, until I saw the helicopters. Within a very short time, the sky was littered with them. It’s hard to remember your breath when so much air is churning.

If I could tell you about the rest of the day I would. But I wasn’t there. I was gone.

The date was the first day of spring. Of course the bomb would come to the most romantic place, at the most romantic time.

-

 Flash fiction is an incredible way for a writer to thumbnail an idea, flirt with using a new voice and tone, or invest in an element of minutiae and in the process surprise themselves!

        At Cody Pomeray’s House-

Before he came in from the rain, it was desperately hot in his room.

I was early. I sat, listening. Why exactly I wouldn't take off my coat because I wasn't wearing a bra, I don't know. That's stupid.

Whatever God looks out for women who go braless under black sweaters made sure Cody did not keep a cat. I couldn't take that. The combined heat and allergy may have decimated my wafer thin will to keep every shred of soaked clothing on.

This is all way before I became his wife.

Then, I was just a lover at rest in an apartment like a still life, with the downpour scouring the windows. It did nothing for the heat.

We were about to meet. We were blind then, and he could have been anyone.

Moons later, on that third floor at Cody’s, the sounds of Saturday after midnight would be delicious. From the window I could here people begin to lose their minds with drink and smoke and formless conversation peppered liberally with swearing. These were the modern adventures on the island of misfit toys. Each toy its own island. Each street named after a random guess.

That island would look differently if I was in charge. Responsible for spires upon spires of invisible real estate. Trafficking in the connecting spaces. I’d become the patron saint of hallways. Corridor queen haunting for good. I would not, however, elect this.

I wanted to play but wanted to watch more. Swatched in blue light and old music and a pilled blanket that wasn't mine.

Cody Pomeray’s house on its block weaved thru with the sound patterns of so many faraway car alarms. Meanwhile him all grown and snoring softly out. That ancient weightless speech of a half-drunk dreamer. Those sorts of dreams kept me up after a spell. They only put him down deeper and deeper.

To watch him and his place above the street, I had eyes open almost to the hour of the wolf. I was a witch who heard secrets bleed from the walls and puddle into black sweaters which glimmered like rain that would always be still.

-

 For further reading, maybe it’s harder to know where to start if you can start anywhere!

Here are few great websites for flash fiction:

pankmagazine.com - PANK

Smokelong.com - Smokelong Quarterly

nanofiction.org - NANO Fiction

monkeybicycle.net - Monkeybicycle

vestalreview.org - Vestal Review

And MORE at: thejohnfox.com/flash-fiction-submissions/

#flash fiction #art #writing

[jaydentaylorevans]

Basics:

Full Name: Jayden Taylor Evans

Nickname(s): Jay

Gender: Male (transgender)

Pronouns: He/Him/His

Sexuality: Bisexual (male preference)

Relationship Status: Dating Lance Conroy

Date of Birth: November 9th, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio 

Place of Birth: Lexington, Virginia 

Current Location: Greensville, North Carolina

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim: Miles McKenna

Height: 5′3″

Hair Color: Dyed black (naturally dark blond) 

Eye Color: Blue

Race: White

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Piercings: None

Family:

Mother: Ellen Oliver

Father: James Oliver, Winter Evans (adoptive father), Henry Lafayette (adoptive father)

Sibling(s): Emma Oliver †, Liza Oliver, Cody Oliver

Children: None

Health:

Physical Health Conditions: None

Mental Health Conditions: Gender dysphoria, clinical depression

Allergies/Intolerances: None

Surgeries: None

Experiences:

Smoked cigarettes/cigars?: Never

Drank alcohol?: Never

Done other drugs?: Once, accidentally

How many people kissed?: Several

How many relationships?: Two

How many sexual partners?: Several

Favorites:

Color?: Teal

Movie?: Boys Don’t Cry

TV Show?: Steven Universe

Music Genre?: Indie/Electropop 

Food?: Pot roast

Misc:

Hobbies: Currently trying to find new ones

Pets: Adele, Rusty (both dogs)

Political Ideology: Liberalism

Religious Ideology: Non-denominational Christianity 

Education Level: High school graduate, currently in college

Current Job(s): Social Media Coordinator at Rain n’ Bows

#about #questionnaire

[writingsubmissions]

UFC Fight Night 103 Preview

WHAT'S HAPPENING: *Well, UFC 207 didn't go exactly as planned. UFC 208 was built around "Ronda Rousey: She's Back", and it wound up being "Ronda Rousey: She's Gone" quicker than anyone could've expected, as Amanda Nunes got her out of there in just 48 seconds, pretty much bashing Rousey's face in at will until the referee stopped the fight. And oh, how the hot takes rained down, from Rousey's mental state to her coaching to the bizarre viewpoint that she was an all-hype creation of the liberal feminist agenda, because people like that exist now - the whole thing just brought out the worst in MMA fans and sports media in general. But anyway, I lean towards this being more of a coaching problem, and, well, we should all pretty much just listen to Nunes, who criticized Edmond Tarverdyan for convincing Rousey she was a boxer - even if Tarverdyan was a good coach (which an increasing amount of data suggests he is not, at all), he's a horrible fit for Rousey's skill-set, as she is at her best when using her physicality to just bull-rush opponents, while Tarverdyan was trying to train her to become...some sort of outside boxer? The fight was so quick and one-sided it's not even clear, but it appears the gameplan was for Rousey to hang back and wear out Nunes, which is fine in itself, but it didn't really appear that Tarverdyan really gave Rousey any tools to actually do that, and once she got hit, Rousey showed the same flaw as in the Holm fight where she becomes sort of like a video game boss, becoming enraged and letting down her defenses as soon as her weak point is hit. So that just left her more hittable, and Nunes hits like a truck, and with her coaches not really offering up much of a plan B, things just sort of careened out of control with Rousey being too tough to go down but too out of it to not keep getting hit until things mercifully got stopped. In the immediate aftermath, my concern was for the mental health of Rousey, but it does seem like she's taking this loss a lot better than the Holm one, if still not particularly well. And, honestly, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she's back again - the one-sided nature of his loss makes me wonder if a lot of her non-MMA marketing opportunities might dry up, and if she's willing to rebuild her game from the ground up, find a new coach that suits her skills, and is willing to change her mental approach to the game, she can actually probably be a championship-level fighter again. Hell, I think she can still probably beat anyone in the division who doesn't have the combination of great athleticism and a great camp, and that alone still makes her about a top-five fighter. But if this is it, hopefully she won't be remembered as a hype job or a flash in the plan or anything, but instead as someone who marked an inflection point in the progression of women's MMA as it moved from the pioneers of the sport into the top-level athletes, similar to, I don't know, a Mark Coleman or someone on the men's side, although Rousey had both the benefit and the downside of doing it on a much bigger stage. And as for Nunes, hopefully UFC does something with the sudden new face of the women's bantamweight division - Nunes came off outstandingly well in what little media she did leading up to the card (oh, yeah, the card also did on par with Rousey's biggest fights on pay-per-view despite being on Friday with little promotion) and gave a pretty great performance after the fight, first shushing Rousey's corner in the immediate wake of the knockout, and cutting an interview that was both jovial and completely ice cold about how she's the new face of the division, she always knew she was going to "beat the shit" out of Rousey, and that Rousey has her money and can go do movies, so everyone should recognize herself as the new queen of the bantamweight division. Nunes obviously won't draw the same that Rousey did, but with Nunes's poise, violent fight style, and even the angle of being the first openly gay champion in UFC history, UFC has someone they can market if they, for once, think a little bit outside the box. *In the wake of UFC 207, where the buyrate came in at probably mattered more for Cody Garbrandt than anyone else - Nunes was going to get headlines no matter what for running through Rousey so quickly, but it was Garbrandt that had the starmaking performance on the show, completely dominating Dominick Cruz at his own game en route to a fairly one-sided upset for the bantamweight championship. Garbrandt was unproven rather than showing off that he outright couldn't do what he did here, but it was still a shocking virtuoso performance, as Garbrandt proved to be the first guy too quick for Cruz - while Cruz typically relies on darting in and out without getting hit and often waiting for his opponents to initiate, it was Garbrandt that was dodging Cruz's offense and hitting back with power. It was just shocking to see Cruz basically in the role of a lot of his past opponents - too scared off to really do anything without getting hit on the counter, but needing to do something in order to win the fight. To his credit, Cruz tried - and showed some ridiculous toughness in getting back up from shots that have stopped a lot of other fighters - but Garbrandt looked so quick here that I'm honestly not sure how a second fight between the two looks much different. Garbrandt also came off quite well in his post-fight interview, giving his belt to Maddux Maple, a young cancer survivor that Garbrandt befriended a few years back, and it was really just perfect - Garbrandt's a guy with a marketable look (good looks plus neck tats), an exciting fight style, and enough poise to handle himself well. It'll be interesting to see where he goes from here, in what's quickly becoming one of UFC's most interesting divisions, and he seems to have a pretty fascinating first opponent already lined up... *It's hard to argue with Garbrandt getting the title shot here in retrospect, but former champ T.J. Dillashaw, who most felt deserved it, confirmed that he's among the elite 135ers with a one-sided win over John Lineker. Lineker was streaking towards a title shot of his own, but Dillashaw showed he could sort of turn back the clock a bit, relying more on his wrestling in just overwhelming and pretty much beating the shit out of Lineker, who, to his credit, broke his jaw early yet was still seemingly unfazed as he repeatedly got hit in the face. But anyway, if it wasn't for Garbrandt, Dillashaw probably had the best performance on the card, so it seems like that's the fight to make, though Garbrandt also still seems open to a Cruz rematch. And to his credit, Dillashaw is actually already trying to sell the fight, citing that he knocked out Garbrandt in training when they were sparring partners back at Team Alpha Male. Given that there's ready-made drama, with Garbrandt taking the spot as prized pupil at Alpha Male that Dillashaw had before he turned traitor, and the fact that it'd be an awesome fight, let's do this. *There honestly wasn't a ton else going on on this card in terms of action - Dong Hyun Kim won an absolutely dreadful decision over Tarec Saffiedine that rewarded his aggressiveness instead of any real effectiveness, and the opener of the main card saw Ray Borg get an impressively one-sided win over Louis Smolka, though Smolka looked oddly flat and Borg's win was marred by him missing weight. Speaking of missing weight, Johny Hendricks blew weight again for his first against Neil Magny and then lost a close decision - basically, the fight was a lot of Hendricks relying on his wrestling to control Magny, but not really do much of anything while Magny remained quite active. Hendricks apparently plans to move up to middleweight, which he kind of has to at this point, but he was already undersized for 170, so I'm not really sure how well that's going to go. As far as other stuff, Alex Garcia knocked out Mike Pyle in rather brutal fashion as Pyle's age has seemingly finally caught up to him, the debuting Niko Price tapped out Brandon Thatch, continuing to show Thatch's complete lack of grappling skill, and what looked to be a fun opener between Tim Means and Alex Oliveira just got weird. Means nailed Oliveira with an obviously illegal knee while Oliveira was kneeling on the ground, but both Means and Joe Rogan on commentary (along with Marc Ratner, who's there to clarify the rules despite never seemingly knowing them) cited the "three points of contact" rule, saying that Means's knee was in fact legal, since Oliveira had neither a hand or his other foot down at the time he got hit. But, well, the problem is that rule doesn't actually exist, and it's pretty unclear where anyone got that idea from. Anyway, Oliveira milked the knee, even getting taken out on a stretcher despite being fine shortly thereafter, but didn't get the disqualification win he probably hoped for, as the referee ruled the knee was accidental (though Means later said it was intentional, which it obviously was, even though he probably wouldn't have thrown it had he known the actual rules), and thus the fight was ruled a no contest. Just an absolute masterpiece of stupidity all around. *So, Mark Hunt is suing UFC. Hunt was announced for a fight with Alistair Overeem at UFC 209 a few weeks back, but that got thrown into question for a bit, as Hunt insisted on a clause that he would get Overeem's purse if Overeem popped for any drugs. But, eventually Hunt took the fight, citing a need to keep getting income, and now this lawsuit is happening, as he's suing UFC, Brock Lesnar, and Dana White for a number of charges, including racketeering and fraud. Basically, Hunt cites the 2012 controversy involving Vitor Belfort's fight with Jon Jones, where UFC officials apparently ignored multiple notices that Belfort's testosterone levels were illegally high, and the fact that Hunt is coming off fighting three straight drug abusers, as a pattern of UFC continually ignoring a level playing field and fighter health in favor or just getting money-making fights done. He also alleges that the Lesnar fight was in the works as far back as March of last year, but UFC knowingly held off on Lesnar officially signing to protect him from drug testing, knowing they could waive a USADA provision that requires a fighter returning to UFC to undergo four months of drug testing. Also, he cites the incentive structure in place that, given the one-off nature of Lesnar's fight, basically gave him the ability to profit by millions of dollars if he juiced, without affecting any future job prospects. Now, I'm not sure how Hunt is going to go about proving a lot of this - there's evidence UFC and Lesnar were talking as far back as March, but I'm not sure how you can prove the deal was ever one hundred percent certain - so I don't think he has much of a chance of winning, but given some of the crazy court cases we've seen lately (like Hulk Hogan apparently being able to argue his sex tape wasn't a concern because his character, Hulk Hogan, has a different sized penis than Terry Bollea the man), who knows how this all shakes out. *UFC 207 wasn't the only big MMA event happening around New Year's, as a few groups ran big shows around the same time, led by RIZIN's doubleheader on the 29th and the 31st. It was PRIDE matchmaking at its...finest?, so let's go through some of the bizarre highlights. Mirko Cro Cop became suddenly resurgent in Japan, without drug testing - funny how that works - winning RIZIN's big openweight tournament; he knocked out King Mo, the favorite to take the whole thing, in the main event of the first night, which was impressive, and then ran through a 400-pound Estonian sumo and an Iranian wrestler who had been banned from the sport due to repeated steroid violations, because Japan. Cro Cop then announced his retirement - yet again - after the tournament took place, but he's already talking about one more farewell fight in Japan, which may be a new record for him. As far as relevant fights, the biggest result on the card was probably Kron Gracie tapping out Tatsuya Kawajiri in the co-main of night two - as a reminder, Kawajiri was just fighting toe-to-toe with Cub Swanson just this past August, so for Gracie to get him down and submit him in only his fourth professional fight is a huge accomplishment; it looks like we have a Gracie that's relevant in 2017, and he might just be the best prospect in the sport at the moment. And on the complete opposite spectrum, we had Gabi Garcia, an absolutely massive (roided-out) former BJJ champ, against 48-year old former professional wrestler Yumiko Hotta. Hotta decided to play to the crowd and run the ropes, but Garcia just grabbed her and beat the piss out of her for a 41-second beating, so, yeah, that was weird. And then we wound up getting a battle on the mics between Garcia and Cris Cyborg, who was cornering Garcia, against Hotta and Shinobu Kandori, the 52-year old former professional wrestler who was Garcia's original opponent. And then another former professional wrestler, giantess Marie Gabert, apparently now going under the name "Jazzy Alpha Female", stormed the ring and challenged Garcia as well. It was...something I couldn't turn my eyes away from, I'll give them that. Japan. *World Series of Fighting also ran a show on New Year's Eve, which was...something. WSOF's probably the number three promotion in the US, but its existence has always been weird, as they've paid out big-money contracts thanks to a whole bunch of mysterious owners, which suggests the promotion may just be an entire pyramid scheme, and there's been a ton of conflicts of interest with MMA manager Ali Abdelaziz acting as a matchmaker and front office executive. Not to mention all the weirdness of Abdelaziz's past, which suggests that he's in tight with a number of Russian oligarchs and various terrorist organizations, and may have been recruited by the United States government to act as a mole in some Middle Eastern terrorist groups before they decided he may have turned double agent. So, yeah, WSOF's weird. Anyway, in good news, Steve Case, co-founder and former CEO of America Online, is apparently in talks to buy a big chunk of the company, which would give them more to stay afloat. On the downside, well...this show, from the theater at Madison Square Garden, featured four title fights, with all four of the featured champions retaining. So that's good. But lightweight champ Justin Gaethje, bantamweight champ Marlon Moraes, and Dave Branch, who holds both WSOF's light heavyweight and middleweight titles, are all apparently free agents, with Branch rumored to have already signed with UFC. And the fourth champ, former UFC contender and welterweight champ Jon Fitch, had a fight with Jake Shields that was about as boring as you wound expect, and after winning a decision, said he's pretty much retiring due to a bunch of injuries, compounded by the fact that apparently some scans of his brain have come back with some concerning results. So, WSOF just showcased a bunch of their top talent that may no longer be with the promotion after this, though the Case deal at least gives them enough money to offer Gaethje and Moraes to stay, particularly Moraes, who's an Abdelaziz guy. World Series of Fighting is weird, man. *Let's do a bunch of quick hits: Along with his suspension by the state of Nevada, Brock Lesnar has also been suspended for one year by USADA, allowing him to fight when...basically, he was going to fight anyway. Good work, guys. UFC officials apparently met with officials at the Kremlin to discuss bringing UFC to Russia - I hope we get an episode of Dana White's reality show where he has to fight a bear. Leister Bowling, the head of the Elevation Fight Team in Denver, which has developed guys like Matt Brown and Neil Magny, and became the landing spot for T.J. Dillashaw after his exodus from Team Alpha Male, is retiring and handing down the business to his sons. Former WWE and ESPN announcer Todd Grisham is getting a tryout with UFC, doing studio work and announcing for a few events starting with this Phoenix card. And, former lightweight champ Rafael dos Anjos has announced that he'll be moving up to welterweight. ------ BOOKINGS: *Not really a whole ton outside of the Tyron Woodley/Stephen Thompson title rematch finally being made official for UFC 209 in March, so let's do the chronological rundown once again: *I normally don't go into cancellations for cards that I'm currently previewing, since it being off the card should be apparent, but the situation with Jimmie Rivera on this Phoenix card was a bit interesting. Rivera was slated to face fellow top bantamweight contender Bryan Caraway in what was probably the best fight on this Phoenix show, but with Caraway hurt, UFC apparently came up with two replacements: John Dodson and Marlon Vera. Rivera chose Vera, and then about a day later, just decided to back out of the fight entirely, citing that a win over Vera, a non-contender, wouldn't do him any good, and with Vera fighting to get surgery for his daughter's rare nerve disease, he didn't want to stand in his way. Which...if he wanted to fight a contender, I'm not really sure why he didn't choose Dodson, though I will admit it doesn't seem one hundred percent concrete that fight was offered, even though Dodson was down for it on social media and it seemed to have at least been discussed. Anyway, Vera's now offended, and Rivera handled the whole thing poorly, though pretty much all of this is his right - I do hope we get that Caraway fight, since that did look to be an interesting one. *We move on to Denver in two weeks, as UFC realized they had yet to fill out an entire card for their Fox show and threw a whole bunch of stuff together. The most interesting new fight is featherweights Alex Caceres and Jason Knight squaring off in what looks like it might be the opener for the Fox card proper - Alan Belcher protege Knight came out of nowhere to have an impressive 2016, and as inconsistent as Caceres is, it should be Knight's toughest test yet in an exciting fight. A middleweight bout between Hector Lombard and Brad Tavares is off completely, so UFC added two other middleweights in Eric Spicely, who's coming off one of the biggest upsets of 2016 over Thiago Santos, and Italian prospect Alessio Di Chirico. And then there's some prospect fights - with Yancy Medeiros out, Chinese fighter Jingliang Li instead faces newcomer Bobby Nash, and with a fight against Ion Cutelaba in Brazil getting scrapped almost as quickly as it was announced, Henrique da Silva steps up here to face Jordan Johnson, considered one of the best prospects at light heavyweight outside of UFC. *Then we get some stuff for February - the Houston card over Super Bowl weekend has apparently just lost Evan Dunham, who's injured and out of his bout with Abel Trujillo, but added two fights - blue-chip Brazilian prospect Ricardo Ramos making his debut against Michinori Tanaka, and what's probably the last chance for Khalil Rountree, a talented striking prospect whose lack of a grappling game has been completely exposed, against Daniel Jolly, who was last seen getting beaten by Misha Cirkunov in his UFC debut in August of 2015. And UFC 208 in Brooklyn and the Fight Night show in Halifax added one fight each, both of which are a bit baffling - Brooklyn will see Jacare Souza step in against Tim Boetsch, who I guess was the best guy available, while former strawweight champ Carla Esparza will return in Halifax to face Randa Markos. Souza/Boetsch is a mismatch, but I can at least see how it happened - Souza was grousing for a fight, and Boetsch is least kind of a relevant concern as a well-known vet coming off two wins, the last of which was an impressive knockout over Rafael Natal. But Esparza/Markos baffles me - Esparza has been asking for a fight for months, and is one of the best fighters in the division, but needs to rack up some big wins in order to get anyone excited for a rematch with Joanna Jedrzejczyk, who took the belt from her in a rather one-sided destruction. But a fight against Markos does nobody any favors - Markos is coming off a loss and a bunch of flat performances and just obviously struggling, so I don't really see the point in giving her her toughest opponent yet when it also does nothing for Esparza. The one thing that literally just came to mind is that these two looked to be building towards a title fight back in late 2014, when they were at each other's throats while on the cast of TUF 20, but while there was a bunch of heat for that fight at the time, it's hard to see how much anyone can care about that now, particularly with Markos's struggles since. Hell, I wanted to see that fight as much as anyone at the time, and it says something that I've completely forgotten about it until about a week after this fight was booked. *The three cards in March added a bunch of stuff. As mentioned, the rumored Tyron Woodley/Stephen Thompson fight for UFC 209 is finally a reality, but it looks like the rumored Nick Diaz comeback won't be, as he's apparently uninterested in fighting Robbie Lawler, which was the fight UFC was trying to make. But we're getting some other fun stuff for that card, even if nothing is as big as that fight. First up, Mirsad Bektic, long considered one of the best prospects in the sport, will face Darren Elkins at featherweight - Elkins is pretty much the prospect-killer at 145 with his grinding style, but Bektic is an explosive wrestler, so it'll be interesting to see how those two fighters interact. Plus enigmatic heavyweight Todd Duffee returns to face Mark Godbeer, and we get a pretty solid fight between two light heavyweights coming off impressive debuts, as Scotland's Paul Craig faces Australia's Tyson Pedro. Two fighters, four first names. Oh, and Ed Herman returns to face Igor Pokrajac, which...certainly is a fight. After that, we head to Brazil, where two fights were announced, but Henrique da Silva/Ion Cutelaba, as mentioned above, was scrapped right after it was announced thanks to a Cutelaba injury. So that leaves an interesting fight at light heavyweight between Mauricio "Shogun" Rua and Gian Villante, a fight that's probably more relevant at light heavyweight than anyone wants to admit. Shogun is still dangerous, but shopworn and old at this point, while Villante is talented, but so defensively error-prone that either guy could win this fight and it wouldn't be surprising. And then we head to London, which added four bouts. The biggest fight is light heavyweights Jimi Manuwa and Corey Anderson going at it in a bout that may actually get the winner pretty close to a title shot - I don't think it's the main event, but given that the bout hasn't officially been announced yet and it's only a Fight Pass show, there's an outside chance it might be. Anyway, the other fights are all fairly interesting - Brad Pickett, fresh off losing to Urijah Faber, gets his retirement fight in his hometown against Mexico's Henry Briones, blue-chip British prospect Tom Breese moves up to middleweight to face Nigerian knockout artist Oluwale Bamgbose, and Vicente Luque, who's quietly putting together a really solid run at welterweight, faces top British prospect Leon Edwards. *And one last housekeeping note - it was kind of forgotten, since UFC never bothered announcing anything for it, but a slated show in Vegas on March 3rd, the day before UFC 209, has been cancelled, or per UFC, "postponed." That's not huge news in and of itself, but it does say something that given how rarely UFC has outright cancelled shows in the past, things have gotten so thin that they've now scrapped two cards just three months into 2017. ----- ROSTER CUTS: 1) Sean Pierson (14-6 overall, 4-2 UFC, last fought 6/15/13, W vs. Kenny Robertson): Pierson quietly confirmed his retirement on Twitter when someone asked him a few weeks back, though at forty and having not even been scheduled for a fight for over three years, it was all but a formality. Pierson never really stood out for anything - he was probably most notorious for getting fired as a police officer in Toronto once his employers discovered he used to go by the moniker "Pimp Daddy" Pierson. But Pierson had a sneaky amount of success - he won a late-notice debut over Matt Riddle, and then lost two tough fights against Dong Hyun Kim and Jake Ellenberger, both big asks. But he actually retires riding a three-fight winning streak, getting decisions over Jake Hecht, Lance Benoist, and Kenny Robertson. Pierson probably could've seen how far that momentum would take him, but he seems happy just chilling with his kids and being a normal guy, so good on him. ----- UPCOMING UFC SHOWS: 1/28 - UFC on Fox 23 - Denver, CO - Julianna Pena vs. Valentina Shevchenko, Donald Cerrone vs. Jorge Masvidal, Andrei Arlovski vs. Francis Ngannou 2/4 - UFC Fight Night 104 - Houston, TX - Dennis Bermudez vs. Chan Sung Jung, Alexa Grasso vs. Felice Herrig 2/11 - UFC 208 - Brooklyn, NY - Germaine de Randamie vs. Holly Holm, Travis Browne vs. Derrick Lewis 2/19 - UFC Fight Night 105 - Halifax, NS - Junior dos Santos vs. Stefan Struve 3/4 - UFC 209 - Las Vegas, NV - Tyron Woodley (c) vs. Stephen Thompson, Mark Hunt vs. Alistair Overeem 3/11 - UFC Fight Night 106 - Fortaleza, Brazil - Vitor Belfort vs. Kelvin Gastelum, Edson Barboza vs. Beneil Dariush, Mauricio Rua vs. Corey Anderson 3/18 - UFC Fight Night 107 - London, England - Corey Anderson vs. Jimi Manuwa ----- UFC Fight Night 103 - January 15, 2017 - Talking Stick Resort Arena - Phoenix, Arizona Well, the post-UFC 205 and post-UFC 207 hangover is officially here, as what was turning into a fun little tradition is instead giving us this weird, not particularly inspiring, card to kick off 2017. The last two years, UFC has run Boston over Martin Luther King weekend, and both times they pretty much hit it out of the park - 2015 gave us Conor McGregor's jump onto the big stage, as he was all over the media before knocking out Dennis Siver in the second round, and 2016 was a fun show from pretty much top to bottom, headlined by Dominick Cruz's insane comeback from injury to unseat T.J. Dillashaw as bantamweight champ. And while this show will probably still do huge ratings thanks to being plugged during NFL playoff football, UFC isn't exactly putting their best foot forward - they've ditched Boston for Phoenix, and the big hook here is the return of two-weight class legend B.J. Penn, who somewhat amusingly has gone from pay-per-view undercard to Fight Pass headliner to FS1 headliner as his comebacks have repeatedly been scuttled. It's still a somewhat forgivable main event, if only because Penn is still a big name and a legend of the sport, but UFC didn't really try with the rest of this card, as only five of the twenty-four fighters on the card are coming off UFC wins, plus there's a weirdly high number of large Europeans. Just a weird show with not much excitement or much starpower - though, with what said, sometimes those shows with no names wind up being fun ones, even if I'm not particularly optimistic in this case. MAIN CARD (Fox Sports 1 - 10:00 PM ET): Featherweight: (#10) Yair Rodriguez vs. B.J. Penn Lightweight: Marcin Held vs. Joe Lauzon Welterweight: Court McGee vs. Ben Saunders Flyweight: (#8) John Moraga vs. (#15) Sergio Pettis PRELIMINARY CARD (Fox Sports 1 - 8:00 PM ET): Bantamweight: Augusto Mendes vs. Frankie Saenz Heavyweight: Aleksei Oleinik vs. Viktor Pesta Lightweight: Tony Martin vs. Alex White Lightweight: Drakkar Klose vs. Devin Powell PRELIMINARY CARD (UFC Fight Pass - 6:15 PM ET): Women's Strawweight: Nina Ansaroff vs. Jocelyn Jones-Lybarger Heavyweight: Walt Harris vs. Chase Sherman Light Heavyweight: Joachim Christensen vs. Bojan Mihajlovic Heavyweight: Cyril Asker vs. Dmitrii Smoliakov THE RUNDOWN: Yair Rodriguez (9-1 overall, 5-0 UFC) vs. B.J. Penn (16-10-2 overall, 12-9-2 UFC): Well, it looks like we're finally getting the B.J. Penn comeback on the fourth try, even though I'm not really sure who wants it at this point outside of Penn. Penn was pretty much a legend from the instant he started combat sports - the Hawaiian earned his BJJ black belt in only about three years, thought to be a record (hence the "Prodigy" nickname), and was one of the first guys, post-infancy of the sport, to just straight up debut in UFC, where he had a ton of success pretty quickly. And Penn soon became a cult hero for his "just scrap" mentality, not really caring about the size or the skill of his opponent, but willing to just fight whoever, whenever, in the name of the fight - when UFC's first effort at starting a lightweight division centered around Penn fell apart, as Penn got upset by Jens Pulver, who then left for Japan, and a tournament for the vacant title ended up in a draw between Penn and Caol Uno, Penn just decided to move up to welterweight and tapped out Matt Hughes, then thought to be possibly the best fighter in the sport, in the first round. But then Penn left for more money in Japan himself for a few fights - including a fight against then-light heavyweight Lyoto Machida - and when he came back, Penn dropped fights to Hughes and upstart Georges St. Pierre. I think it's at this point we really started to get the narrative that would pretty much define Penn's career, that he was possibly the most naturally gifted fighter in the sport, but just never really motivated himself to work hard, since I think the first time we were promised "motivated B.J." was his return to lightweight against Pulver. Penn handled Pulver rather easily, and ran roughshod over the lightweight division for a bit - though in the interim he once against lost to then-welterweight champ St. Pierre in UFC's first champion-versus-champion fight - until 2010, when he met Frankie Edgar. Edgar wasn't really seen in Penn's league, having only really gotten the shot since Gray Maynard's wins were just too boring to reward with a title fight, and after a controversial decision to take the lightweight title from Penn, "The Answer" left no doubt in the rematch, winning a one-sided decision and, in retrospect, pretty much putting an end to Penn's career as an elite fighter. Penn rebounded with a 21-second win over what turned out to be a shot Hughes and a draw against Jon Fitch that was somewhat of a gift, and at this point we would get promised over and over that this time Penn was motivated, only for the results to fall kind of flat in the cage. Plus Penn kept insisting on fighting at welterweight in order to chase St. Pierre, and he was too stubborn to realize he was physically outmatched - Nick Diaz absolutely destroyed him, and after taking over a year off, Rory MacDonald beat Penn rather handily as well. Things remained rather silent, until it was announced in mid-2014 that Penn was going to now cut to featherweight, and coach a season opposite Frankie Edgar that would result in a third fight between the two. And...things were not pretty. Penn did look lean, but also suddenly looked rather gaunt and old, and he weirdly chose to use a strange, upright striking stance that pretty much just gave Edgar the opening to take Penn down at will and pretty much maul him in what was a pretty depressing scene before it got stopped. After the fight, it seemed like Penn had finally closed the book on his career in an emotional press conference, talking about how he needed the fight against Edgar to see if he could still do this, and even after doing everything right, realizing that with the result, he couldn't, and that he was comfortable with that. And, well, that lasted a little over a year. By late 2015, there were rumblings of a Penn comeback as he entered in his late thirties, and when it got confirmed come 2016, things turned into a bit of a disaster. First, Penn decided to challenge Nik Lentz of all people, as Penn apparently had come to blame dietitian Mike Dolce for his last loss to Edgar, and got it in his head that Lentz and Dolce were somehow friends, which just seemed to confuse Lentz. Talk of that fight fizzled out, and Penn was then scheduled to fight Dennis Siver at UFC 196, though that soon fell apart due to an investigation into a pretty gross incident where a drunken Penn apparently decided to throw himself at the girlfriend of a friend. Penn was cleared in dubious fashion to fight at UFC 199, first against Siver and then Cole Miller, but then that fell apart, since Penn apparently admitted to out-of-competition use of an IV, without realizing that IVs were banned no matter what. So UFC tried again to book him, and this time it just seemed cruel, as Penn was matched against perennial top contender Ricardo Lamas in the main event of a card in Manila - but once again Penn became unavailable, this time due to injury, and UFC wound up scrapping the card entirely. So, finally, I think, here we are, as Penn's pretty much in the set-up role to make stud Mexican prospect Yair Rodriguez look good. After winning season one of TUF: Latin America, there was some thought that Rodriguez could be a future star for UFC in the growing Mexican market, but he's gotten there way quicker than anyone expected - Charles Rosa is a solid fighter, but he was thought to be too much for Rodriguez to handle in his first post-TUF fight, and instead Rodriguez has just put together a huge highlight reel in wins over Rosa, Daniel Hooker, Andre Fili, and Alex Caceres, highlighted by a switch-kick knockout of Fili that was among the best finishes of 2016. Rodriguez comes from the school of fighting that's more like a martial arts movie at times, with a focus on throwing big, flashy knockout strikes, though Rodriguez has a ridiculous amount of athleticism and a preternatural ability to chain strikes together in weird combinations, as well as backing this all up with a pretty solid submission game. Rodriguez's game definitely feels like something that will hit a ceiling - at some point he's just not going to be able to connect with enough crazy spinning stuff to win rounds when he can't get the finish - but guys like Anthony Pettis have shown that you can win a title and become a bit of a star before people start to figure you out. Since we don't really know where Rodriguez's ceiling is yet, for better or for worse, Penn does definitely have a chance, since even in his current form, he still might be the best fighter Rodriguez has faced yet, and it's not completely out of the question to imagine Penn using his years of experience to somehow score a submission on the sometimes over-aggressive Rodriguez if things go to the ground. But there's just too much going against him - Rodriguez's professional career started a year after Penn got his last win, and while Rodriguez's style sometimes isn't conducive to winning rounds, it's hard to see how Penn is going to able to win them, either, given that Rodriguez is big, athletic, quick, and seems to have a pretty solid gas tank. Frankly, even if Penn is in the best shape of his life, finally - and even then, it's unclear how much he's been training with Greg Jackson's camp in Albuquerque, as was expected - in his fight against Edgar, Penn just looked like a relic from a bygone era, a guy who just didn't really have the sort of well-rounded game and strategy that MMA needs in 2017 rather than 2007. And the sad part of this, is I think Penn's actually tough enough to last all the way to a decision - Penn was basically stopped by Edgar because Edgar just kept mauling him, while Rodriguez doesn't really throw the type of volume you need to get the referee to step in for a finish. So while there's a chance that Rodriguez just uses some highlight-reel strike to put Penn's lights out - which may be a mercy kill - I'll say we instead just get five rounds of Penn being too tough for his own good, and probably being a little bit depressed after a Rodriguez decision win. Marcin Held (22-5 overall, 0-1 UFC, 11-3 Bellator) vs. Joe Lauzon (26-12 overall, 13-9 UFC): A really interesting, well-matched fight here that should provide some pretty fun action. Joe Lauzon has officially spent over a decade on the UFC roster, and it's pretty amazing how long of it he's spent as sort of an action fighter and gatekeeper emeritus. For years, it's seemed like the Massachusetts native has been somewhere between the tenth- and twentieth-best lightweight in UFC, matched with rising fighter after rising fighter and losing against guys as they eventually headed towards title shots, but also turning away about as many guys, and always being a threat to have the best fight on the card in the process. At the tail end of 2015, it looked like Lauzon might finally be shopworn after a flat loss to Evan Dunham, but he rebounded in pretty great fashion by becoming the first man to crack the chin of Diego Sanchez at UFC 200, and then taking Jim Miller to a close decision loss that most felt Lauzon had won. Lauzon finds himself in a familiar spot here, against a talented young fighter, and in this case it's a guy who badly needs a win in Marcin Held. Held came into UFC with a ton of expectations - despite somehow still only being 24, Held had spent the last few years as one of the top lightweights in Bellator, beating all but the promotion's elite fighters with a solid, well-rounded game and a funky submission game centered around an array of leglocks. Held made his debut on the Mexico City card this past November against Sanchez in what figured to be a solid opportunity for Held to make a big splash with a win over a big name, but none of that really happened - after some early success, Sanchez was able to take over with his wrestling and neutralize Held's submission game, and by the third round, the Pole seemed absolutely exhausted and out of ideas. There was some talk of Held cutting down to 145, but instead he stays at lightweight here, and UFC didn't really do him any favors here - while Lauzon probably doesn't have the control-heavy wrestling that Sanchez pulled out, he's probably a step up in competition at this point in the game. It's a really fascinating matchup - both guys are perfectly fine strikers, and I'm not really sure who the grappling favors - Lauzon likes to create chaos, and that can probably allow Held to catch some sort of funky technique, but Lauzon also has so much veteran savvy when it comes to submissions that I can't really see Held flummoxing him with something that might lead to a finish. I'll favor Lauzon to win a decision if only because his performances have impressed me more lately, but with the way these guys' styles might interact, I'm sort of expecting the kind of nip-tuck split decision fight that'll cause some discussion about exactly who won. Court McGee (18-5 overall, 7-4 UFC) vs. Ben Saunders (20-7-2 overall, 7-4 UFC, 7-3 Bellator): A solid fight between welterweight vets here. I think everyone likes Court McGee - the Utah native has been pretty open about his crazy life story, as he struggled with drugs and alcohol for years, to the point that he was even clinically dead for a bit, before getting his life back together through fighting. And as a fighter, he's a perfectly solid meat and potatoes kind of guy - he can do a little bit of everything, and while I can't really think of an exceptionally amazing Court McGee fight, he's rarely gotten blown completely out of the water. McGee took about two years off - from December of 2013 to December 2015 - to heal what was apparently an injured everything, and he's picked up about where he's left off, alternating wins and losses; McGee lost to Santiago Poniznibbio pretty quickly in what was probably the most one-sided loss of his career, but that was sandwiched between wins over Marcio Alexandre and Dominique Steele, the latter of which was a pretty neat moment, as McGee was the big hometown favorite for UFC's debut in Salt Lake City. Anyway, McGee fights Ben Saunders, who starts his third UFC stint here - it's a bit amusing looking back that someone as talented as Saunders was cut after two straight losses back in 2010, when UFC was in a position where they could do so. Saunders then signed with Bellator, which was then still a bit of an upstart, and had a bunch of success - he fell short of title contention, but Saunders continued evolving as a Muay Thai specialist with some solid submission skills. After a few Bellator contracts, Saunders then decided to return to UFC in 2014, and continued having success, running through Chris Heatherly and Joe Riggs and earning a close decision over Kenny Robertson before losing to Patrick Cote and hitting a bit of a contract snafu. So, the Cote loss happened last January, and apparently that was the last fight on Saunders's contract, and he decided to take a bit of a break with the understanding a new deal would be worked out. But when he stepped up for a late-notice fight against Tim Means at UFC 202, Saunders fell victim of the same weird rule that took Angela Hill off UFC 207, where fighters deemed to be returning to the UFC (unless they're Brock Lesnar) have to undergo a four-month drug testing period before they're cleared to fight. So, Saunders took one more fight outside of UFC to make some money, tapping out fellow UFC vet Jacob Volkmann in just seventeen seconds, and now he's officially back. It's an interesting fight that could be fun or could be ugly - both guys are typically fairly entertaining fighters, but McGee is willing to just grind on an opponent if need be - he mostly won the Steele fight by neutralizing Steele for long blocks of time, but it didn't get too boring since the Utah faithful were behind him the whole way. And that's probably McGee's best path towards winning this fight - if he can just hold Saunders against the fence, he can win a boring decision, yet unlike a lot of strikers, taking down Saunders doesn't really work thanks to Saunders's aggressive submission game from the bottom. I actually could see this looking a lot like Saunders's fight against Kenny Robertson, where Robertson wrestled a lot, but Saunders just did a lot more while being controlled and took the close decision. Add in that Saunders probably has the advantage on the feet, and I'll say he takes a narrow decision, though I'm not really confident in this fight either way. John Moraga (16-5 overall, 5-4 UFC) vs. Sergio Pettis (14-2 overall, 5-2 UFC): Flyweight is weird, man. There's dominant champ Demetrious Johnson, a few contenders, and then just a whole lot of guys whose careers are going in a bunch of different directions, yet all have trouble separating themselves from each other. And this fight sort of fits that - the matchmaking is sort of thrown together and doesn't make much sense, as both guys missed more preferred bookings with injuries in late 2016, and hell, Moraga's even an injury replacement here, but it's also as natural a fight as any to make at 125 at the moment. I think we're at the point where we've accepted that Sergio Pettis isn't his brother - back when UFC signed him in 2013, he was just twenty years old and earmarked as a future star, since he was succeeding at both flyweight and bantamweight and came from the same stock as his brother Anthony, who by then was UFC lightweight champ and considered one of the top fighters in the sport. But Sergio's career has had some fits and starts, first at bantamweight and now down at 125, and in pretty much complete contrast to Anthony's hyper-athletic style built around flashy finishes, Pettis is just a fairly well-trained fundamental fighter, with a solid wrestling game and a striking game that rarely gets into second gear. So, weirdly, Pettis is somehow both sort of a disappointment and one of the better rising talents in the flyweight division, since he's still just twenty-three, and he gets what might be the toughest test of his career in John Moraga, who suddenly finds his back against the wall. When UFC first added flyweight, Moraga was an early standout in a thin division thanks to his grappling skill and knockout power, even earning a title shot in one of Johnson's first defenses, and from then on Moraga established himself as sort of a top-five to top-tennish gatekeeper - he was obviously one of the better fighters in the division, but against top contenders like John Dodson or Joseph Benavidez, Moraga was simply overmatched. After taking about a year off after a loss to Benavidez, Moraga returned for what figured to be a bit of a tune-up fight against Matheus Nicolau, but instead Moraga just looked fairly flat and fought fairly conservatively and just limped to a narrow decision loss. And that's pretty much the key thing in this fight - was that just a one-off awful performance for Moraga, or has he suddenly entered the decline phase of his career? I'll still put some faith in Moraga, since at his best he still has enough grappling skill to handle Pettis's wrestling and could actually knock him out on the feet, but this feels like a fight that has a bunch of questions leading up to it, but could be going in a pretty obvious direction as soon as the actual fight starts. So I'll say Moraga takes a decision, particularly since he should be motivated here since he's in need of a win and fighting in his hometown, but Pettis taking control of the fight immediately and winning from there wouldn't be too shocking. Augusto Mendes (5-1 overall, 0-1 UFC) vs. Frankie Saenz (10-4 overall, 3-2 UFC): A strange bit of matchmaking here at bantamweight, unless it's just a way for Frankie Saenz, a Phoenix native, to just get a bounce-back win at home. Saenz is a former Arizona State wrestler who was picked up when UFC was signing pretty much everyone in 2014, and as someone not particularly notable and in their mid-thirties, he's already exceeded expectations - Saenz first really got on the radar with a win over veteran Iuri Alcantara that was one of the biggest upsets in UFC history per betting odds, and capped off 2015 by showing quite well in a narrow decision loss to Urijah Faber. But now Saenz suddenly has his back against the wall - a knockout loss over last summer to the suddenly resurgent Eddie Wineland made it two straight losses, and while Saenz is a talented fighter, three in a row means he's probably being shown the door. So he'll look to get that crucial win against Augusto "Tanquinho" Mendes, who's being thrown into the fire a bit. Mendes was a blue-chip prospect when UFC signed him as a late-notice injury replacement, as he's a former world BJJ champion who had been progressing quite well in MMA for someone so raw, but that late-notice fight wound up being against Cody Garbrandt, and while Mendes survived well on the feet for a few minutes, he eventually got knocked out by the future bantamweight champ. So after about a year off, Mendes gets underdog duty here once more, and while it probably won't be as bad as the Garbrandt loss, I still think Saenz should win - at this point, he just has more of a well-rounded skillset and should be able to outbox Mendes rather easily for three rounds, with the caveat that Tanquinho's striking did look much improved even from his independent days to the Garbrandt fight, and he's had another year to improve. So yeah, Saenz by decision is the rather uninspiring pick, and I hope that UFC at least gives Mendes a third fight against someone easier, since he does look like one of the better raw talents in the division. Aleksei Oleinik (50-10-1 overall, 2-1 UFC, 1-1 Bellator) vs. Viktor Pesta (10-3 overall, 1-3 UFC): The first three fights announced for this card were all between European fighters at 205 and above, and while this isn't the bout's original incarnation (Oleinik is filling in for the injured Damian Grabowski), that doesn't make it any less weird. Aleksei Oleinik is a strange fighter to begin with - he has 61 fights over 20 years, and 40 of his 50 wins have come via submission. And that's pretty much his game - everyone knows one of a variety of chokes is coming, but Oleinik's such a massive bear of a man that it doesn't really matter, and he's been able to tap out foe after foe. He can trade a bit, too - Jared Rosholt dumbly decided to brawl with Oleinik in a late 2014 fight and got knocked out for his troubles, and Oleinik hasn't really capitalized on the momentum that win should've given him. Basically, Oleinik spent about two years on the shelf thanks to some botched knee surgeries, though he remained active during that time, as the gym he was running in his native Ukraine turned out to be a front for pro-Russian military forces, resulting in him being subsequently banned from the country. And as far as inside the cage, Oleinik didn't really impress in his comeback - against Daniel Omielanczuk, Oleinik had some success wrestling early, but gassed out and looked fairly horrible in pretty quick fashion en route to a decision loss. So, nearing forty, Oleinik probably has his back against the wall when it comes to his UFC tenure, and Czechia's Viktor Pesta is in the same boat. Pesta's most notable moment was probably during his lone UFC win over Konstantin Erokhin, where his corner memorably forced Pesta to repeat that he is a "takedown machine" in stilted English, and, well, that's pretty much an apt description. Pesta is purely a grinder, and it's earned him that win over Erokhin, and he's overperformed in losses to Ruslan Magomedov and Derrick Lewis, the latter of which he was winning rather handily with wrestling before Lewis put his lights out. But he mostly tried to box with Marcin Tybura during his last fight, and ate a highlight-reel head kick for his troubles. So, yeah, this is probably going to be fifteen minutes of large Eastern European men wrestling with each other, and I guess I'll favor Pesta via decision - I've always had a bit of a soft spot for the Czech, and Oleinik looked so old in his last fight I think the end might be near for his career. But, unless Oleinik gets one of his signature chokes early and makes this a quick fight, this will probably be a fairly boring, drawn-out affair. Tony Martin (10-3 overall, 2-3 UFC) vs. Alex White (11-2 overall, 2-2 UFC): A solid enough fight here at lightweight between two evolving fighters, even though it's kind of like a welterweight fighting a featherweight. Minnesota's Tony Martin is pretty giant for lightweight, and he's shown the usual trade-offs for cutting so much weight - Martin's an effective grappler overall, but he'll inevitably tire out by sometime in round two, and often starts giving away fights late. Though, amusingly, even though Martin is a giant 155er at six feet tall, White is six feet tall and has fought most of his career at featherweight, where he's obviously had a massive size and length advantage. It didn't really give the Missourian much of an advantage, though, as he's run into a lot of trouble by relying on his size and athleticism rather than any actual strategy, but White's coming off the best performance of his career last February against Artem Lobov, where White actually used his reach to fight a smart fight and mixed in takedowns where needed. Still, I don't really see White having the strength or the tools to stop Martin from doing what he wants to do, and while there's a chance Martin can get a submission, I'll say Martin just mostly out-wrestles White en route to a one-sided decision. Drakkar Klose (6-0-1 overall) vs. Devin Powell (8-1 overall): This could be fun, as two debuting lightweights get a chance to show their stuff. Maine's Devin Powell is the latest guy to join the roster off of Dana White's YouTube reality show where he scouts talent, and Dana finally broke from his usual mold - instead of a projectible athlete, Powell is instead sort of a lanky scrapper who focuses on the finish but seems to have both power in his hands and some decent submission technique in a scramble. Powell was initially supposed to face Jordan Rinaldi, but with Rinaldi hurt, Drakkar Klose, a Michigan native who's been training in Arizona for a while, steps in to make his own UFC debut. Klose looks to be more of a powerhouse, scoring some knockouts in some 2015 fights I watched while showing some solid technique. This is really a pick 'em, but I liked what I saw on tape from Klose more, and that's with two fights in the ensuing year where he's had the chance to improve, so I'll pick Klose to win a decision victory. That said, Powell is the much taller, lankier fighter, and he's ridiculously tough - he fought back from a brutal broken nose to score the KO in his last fight - so a win either way wouldn't surprise me. Nina Ansaroff (6-5 overall, 0-2 UFC, 1-0 Invicta) vs. Jocelyn Jones-Lybarger (6-3 overall, 0-2 UFC, 1-0 Invicta): This should be a perfectly fine fight, but it says something about the depth of this card that the slot of Fight Pass headliner, which had seemingly becoming a priority in 2016, goes to this bout between two strawweights each seeking their first UFC win in their third UFC fight. Jocelyn Jones-Lybarger is the hometown fighter here, fighting out of Phoenix, and honestly, she hasn't really shown much in her two UFC fights - her late-notice debut against Tecia Torres was a tough ask, especially for someone who relies on their strength to bully around their opponents, but she didn't really look much better in the follow-up fight against Randa Markos; she looked a bit more comfortable when she was able to strike from a distance, but for the most part it was a sloppy decision loss in which neither woman looked all that great. On the other hand, at least Nina Ansaroff has shown some improvement over her UFC career, although she's had more time to do so and probably started from a much lower spot - Ansaroff just got out-wrestled by Juliana Lima in her late 2014 debut, but after missing all of 2015, showed some decent, high-output striking in a narrow decision loss to Justine Kish about a year ago. Jones-Lybarger should probably have more success here than in her last two fights since Ansaroff seems to the worst-equipped to deal with her grinding game, but I still pick Ansaroff to win a decision, since she's the higher-output fighter and really just plain impressed me more. Plus Ansaroff is the girlfriend of Amanda Nunes, so it can't hurt to have pillow talk with one of the best female fighters in the world. Walt Harris (8-5 overall, 1-4 UFC) vs. Chase Sherman (9-2 overall, 0-1 UFC): UFC keeps churning through heavyweights, and these two guys are currently on the lower tier, though this could be a pretty fun fight while it lasts. And hey, it's basketball versus football, as Walt Harris was a former basketball player at Jacksonville State, while Chase Sherman played football for Delta State. Anyway, both guys are top-level athletes, but have struggled to turn that into anything too productive, at least as of just yet. Harris is in his second UFC stint and hung around a while thanks to some layoffs in between fights, but he really has little to show for it, outside of a knockout win over Cody East - Harris seems to be well-trained technically by American Top Team, but he's just not aggressive enough for it to matter, doesn't seem to have that great a defensive game, and doesn't seem to have much in terms of wrestling either. So we just have a guy who can move well and can hit hard, but doesn't really do much of anything. On the plus side, I doubt Sherman will try to grapple with Harris at all - the Alan Belcher protege spent his pre-UFC career just piling up quick knockouts, and in his UFC debut, when Justin Ledet kept tagging him, Sherman's defensive strategy was just to talk more and more shit as Ledet just continued to punch him in the face. Questionable. Anyway, this fight is pretty much just a question of who hits the knockout shot, and while Sherman is the guy that still has potential, I'll pick Harris to score the second-round knockout, if only because I think he's the better technical fighter at this point, as long as he actually throws. This is a coin flip, though, and I'm not sure if I hope this somehow goes into a third round, as both guys will probably be hilariously exhausted. Joachim Christensen (13-4 overall, 0-1 UFC) vs. Bojan Mihajlovic (10-4 overall, 0-1 UFC): Well, this is certainly happening. When UFC decided to run a show in Croatia, I guess they decided they needed more ex-Yugoslavian fighters, so they signed Bojan Mihajlovic, who was one of the better heavyweights on a not-particularly-great Serbian scene. Mihajlovic, an undersized heavyweight who basically got by on trying to bull opponents down and throw volume from top, was set to be thrown to the wolves against Francis Ngannou, and when Mihajlovic was pulled from that fight due to undisclosed reasons, UFC just re-booked it for Chicago in July and Mihajlovic, as expected, got destroyed by Ngannou. Alright then. Meanwhile, Joachim Christensen's another late-thirties European, in this case from Denmark, and he showed some solid kickboxing but mostly looked uninspiring in a submission loss to Henrique da Silva this past October. I guess I'll go with Christensen here, and I guess via decision, since he seems to be the better fighter and should be able to just pick Mihajlovic apart for three rounds. But that's more a vote against Mihajlovic than any sort of confidence in Christensen, so if the Serbian just rushes him and gets a quick finish or something, it's not like that'd shock me either. Cyril Asker (7-2 overall, 0-1 UFC) vs. Dmitrii Smoliakov (8-1 overall, 0-1 UFC): I am not sure if this or Christensen/Mihajlovic is rock bottom. Cyril Asker's a Frenchman, but made his name in South Africa, and he showed pretty much nothing in his UFC debut - most South African fighters have trouble in the major leagues since their wrestling doesn't translate to a level where people can actually wrestle, and Asker didn't even get the chance to show that before getting knocked out in short order by Jared Cannonier. Meanwhile, Russia's Smoliakov came in with some hype, but put on a putrid performance against Luis Henrique, getting outwrestled, gassing out immediately, and basically looking helpless for about two rounds before getting tapped out. So, who knows - Smoliakov had a bunch of quick knockouts all over Russia, but it turns out that's about all he has the gas tank to do, while Asker's a wrestler who may not be able to wrestle, but might be facing someone who can't really wrestle either. Fun. Smoliakov by first-round knockout, I guess, but it's really up to both guys to just show something, anything this time around.

#mma #ufc #ufc fight night 103 #ufcfightnight103 #ufn103 #ufn 103 #ufc phoenix #ufcphoenix

[sslowdeathh]

Requested by anonymous, but also being submitted for @dwllie's event.

Florence. Musk. Clara. Doe. Ivy. Cat. Joy. Soffit. Corina. Ethylene. Dear. Toluene. Fascia. Dermis. Niacin. Muscle. Adipose. Fauna. Nerve. Syringe. Cervid. Stitch. Fawn. Medic. Juniper. Oxy. Codeine. Morphia. Taruca. Morpheus. Antidote. Bandage. Flora. Vicodin. Serene. Anodyne. Ethanol. Rose.

Med medic (medicine, medical). Stitch stitches. Deer deers. Syr syringe. Band bandage. Nu nur nurse. Sur surgeon. Flow flower. Heal health. Rem remedy. Neur neuro (neurology). Doc doctor. IV IV's. Phar pharmac (pharmacy, pharmacist, pharmaceutical). Psych psyche (psycho, psychology. Only to be used by "psychopaths"). Phys physio. Bio biology. ( 🫁 , 💉, 🩹, 🩺 , 🌡️ , 💊 , many many emojis could work. )

The (nurse, doctor, other medical titles). Dr. (name). The medical professional. She who draws blood. She who cares for all. The favourite nurse. The ( RN, LPN, nurse practitioner, SO many nurse & doctor related titles that could work here. Do some research, and see what you resonate with the most :-] )

#dwllie200 #✦ liberating rain . . . ( cody ) #✦ two shots and i need more #✦ more of the fire ，( anon ) #npt pack #npts #npt suggestions #npt ideas #npt list #npt #npt request #name help #names #name inspo #name searching #name inspiration #name list #pronoun list #pronouns #pronoun ideas #pronoun suggestions #title suggestions #title list #titles #title ideas #theme: #deer #nurse #deers #nurses