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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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12-seconds-to-live · 10 months

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(Un)Lost: The art of war

Pairing: F12022/3!Grid! x Fem!Driver!Oc

Warnings: DNF’s, angst, a little bit of love, episodes of anxiety, Seb’s retirement, harsh words.

DRIVE TO SURVIVE SEASON 5 - EP. 1 THE NEW ERA

“It’s freezing in here” I said while I was puting my cap in my head, my Williams cap, ready to sit in the famous black chair of Netflix. “Thank you Netflix for make this possible, Bahrain is being cooking itself now” The producer chuckle.

“So, we’re going to let you introduce you and then make you a few questions. Everything clear?”

“Sure” I look for a better position in the chair and look to the camera “My name is Charlotte Robyn-Jones and I’m engineer strategist for Williams Racing Formula One Team” I said with a smile on my face. I saw the people in the back laugh and I copy the action

“You can’t lie to Netflix, kid”

“I think I just did ... Anyway, 1, 2, 3, Monday to Friday, My name is Charlotte Robyn-Jones, I’m 23 and I’m a race driver for Williams Racing Formula One Team” I tilt my head to one side and laugh “Cool”

“So cool. What’s for you to be at the top of the game right now?, obviously avoiding the question that you must be bored about”

“Being a woman is fantastic, except for that thing every month but I can’t complain. I have to say that it’s not easy. You can dream of some things happening but all the same time, If you really wanted, the answer is get up and look for your better options to make things happen.” I gassped and look down and to the camera. “I remenber when I told my dad that I wanted to give it a try in karting and I wasn’t even 6, he looked at me like I was some sort of silly muppet but then he make me promise that I will do great in school and then he will help me with the racing carreer I wanted. The rest is history”

A series of videos of her carreer show up, from her beginning in karts, F4, F3 and her successfull 2021 in F2 finishing as champion, smiling faces all around and obviously a very proud Charlotte.

“You just mention your dad. What about other members in your family? Friends or even a boyfriend?” I look at the producer with a side smile

“You guys are really something else, right?” they laugh “I’m single ready to mingle. I don’t talk to much about my family, I like to be private about that. I almost dropped all this. My family is my priority and two years ago I lost my mom due cancer so...”

“I’m sorry we don’t...”

“No, it’s okay” I smiled to the camera “She’s not here but I still talk about her like she’s just in the back of the house screaming to the dog for being so silly, she’s still here and I know she’s proud”

“Sure she is. Just to finish ... Any expectations for your team. Everybody wanted to see you in a bigger team like Mercedes or Ferrari, did you hear any rumors about that?”

“Well, certanly I did hear, but the thing is, mmm, I always believe that If you wanna prove yourself is better to start from the very bottom, understand the little things and then you’ll find success, almost glory. Being in this sport is so tricky, like, one day you won in Monaco and the next day you’re out of the points or feeling that all your pasion is going out to your body” I see everybody’s faces like I was saying something fascinating “This is sport is like war, you better watch out your back ‘cause even your own team could kill you.”

“So, this is your year to discover yourself?”

“Yes, my bingo card this year will imply me being playing the art of war that is F1″

“Okay Charlotte, this is all for today. We’ll see you along the year”

“Thanks and don’t spill my secrets. Snitches end up in ditches, they say”

I go out of the room straight to the Williams garage. Sure thing is that this year is going to be wild, after what happened last year between Red Bull and Mercedes, man, I really don’t want to be any member of those teams.

“Hello Ms. Jones, everything all right with Netflix?” My PR, Ava asked. She was in Alex side of the garage talking to other people

“Yeah, they’re like school girls” She laugh

“Yeah, sometimes. Today is media day so since you’re ready with your Williams merch, we can start signing some caps and cards and then continue with your schedule. Or do you want to start with press?”

“Up to you really, better doing the easiest first then I’ll face the sharks” We walk to a conference room when I found Alex with his girlfriend and his PR. Last year I met the girl in a tournament in the UK and we have been really close since then.

“Oh hello you, my girl and my boy rocking together this year” Lily said and hug me, while Alex put a false angry face

“Nice to see you Lily and yes, we’re going to rock or better than that” I said she smack Alex shoulder

“See, I tould you she has spirit!”

“I know, I think that everybody saw that video of her running along the track after her win in last year championship”

That video.

Well, you don’t win F2 championship many times in your life, right?

“I don’t know what are you talking about”

“Everybody know you do”

“Shh” I sit next to the pile of merch with my face on it. It’s 9:45 so I have time ‘till lunch and more interviews.

INTERVIEW ROOM @14:20

W/ Lando Norris, Carlos Sainz, Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel

“Don’t be nervous, ok? I’m not gonna tell what to answer, you’re smart so answer like a pro”

“Like a pro? So I can say <<inchident>> or even ask about the interviewers plans for the summer?” I showed Ava a side smiled

“Please don’t and you’re going to be in between, your name is on the sofa” I enter the room and saw the amount of people organized in the back of the room with notepads, cameras and tricky looks.

“So, welcome everybody to the second session here in Bahrain, we are here with Lando Norris from McLaren, Carlos Sainz from Ferrari, Charlotte Jones from Williams, Lewis Hamilton from Mercedes and Sebastian Vettel from Aston Martin. Welcome to the drivers, we’re going to have a round of questions for this sesion, if that’s ok” I look at the others who nod.

“Hello, this question is for Charlotte” Great. “We want to hear your first impresions of your new team, if you have the chance to meet the other drivers and expectations for your rookie season”

I tried to smiled but I suddenly felt like I wanna dissapear and the lights we’re too bright so I put on my glasses and I hear Lewis laugh and how he copy my action and take the microphone “It’s sunny outside so there’s no need to put the light to bright, thanks guys” And squeezed my hand.

“Yeah, lights, mmm, almost everybody saw me in the car last year when I met the team and my teammate. Everything has been great so far, mmm I spent half of the holidays with the Sainz family, there been close to my mom’s family so, yeah, Carlos and his trainer just help me to get in better shape for this rodeo, something that I’m grateful for” I fist bump with Carlos and laugh “And expectations, well, I prefer to see how it goes after the race, I sent my ideas and questions the past month so I know now that the car is fast and let’s see If we can put Williams on the top again”

Sebastian took the microphone and look at me “Do you know about engineering?”

“Yeah, I finished my degree in mechanical engineering last month, obviously online, so...”

“That’s impresive, kid” answer Sebastian

“Am I the only one scared now?” Ask Lando to everybody. Everybody laugh at that. The interview session went smoothly and not many questions were to me, since Lewis was in the room, the events of november where reminded. Questions about strategies and upgrades for Ferrari and Aston Martin and the chances of McLaren of getting a podium this year. After that, the session ended, Carlos stopped me.

“Welcome officially, girasol” He hug me in the process and we heard a cough

“Are you good, man?”

“Since my friend here it’s so disrespectfull, nice to meet you, yo soy Lago”

“Nunca le enseñaste bien español” I said laughing to the spaniard

“Ciertamente él fue un terrible alumno”

“Please don’t. Back to a common language” I smiled to him and oh boy! such beautiful eyes

“Charlotte, rookie, friend of this guy, fan of dogs, chocolate cake and be on my xbox the whole day” I shake his hand and he gasp

“Marry me”

“In a few years, maybe” I look to Carlos who look at me with wide eyes

“I don’t want him on family holidays, ten moths are too much now” As we were walking through the paddock, a few photographers and fans aproach us. Since Carlando were more famous that I am, so I go straight to my motorhome to lay down for a bit.

What a day.

A few headers on instagram and twitter about the conference

2022 ROOKIE READY TO DRIVE AND BEING A THREAT

CHARLOTTE ROBYN-JONES, NEW SENSATION IN THE PADDOCK

IS THIS THE YEAR OF WILLIAMS?

Mind clear and then start proving myself.

I’m a girl, yes, but right now I feel that I have a chance to be like them, it’s ny time.

A champion, one ready to fight.

I finished my day with more media duties, to 6 pm I was going to wait for Carlos who offer a ride to the hotel. While I was waiting in the parking lot, the papaya pair waved at me.

“Hiya, you must me Charlotte. I’m Daniel, the one with good looks in the team” He said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you Daniel, how you guys doin’?”

“All good, we’re heading to the hotel, ready to kick asses tomorrow?” I saw how Lando seems certanly interested in the question

“I’m feeling normal, but yeah, let’s see tomorrow. My driver arrived so... see ya” I waved at them when Carlos opened his car. Daniel and Lando saw the couple leaving the parking lot when the australian looks at the youngest

“Say it”

“What?”

“Why do you look so shock around her? I mean, even Max who lives in a rock knew about her”

“I’ve been friends of Carlos and I never see her around, it’s weird”

“Ooow, the kid is jealous of the newie” Daniel started laughing and going to his car

“Man stop... I’m not jealous and also I’m a man!”

BAHREIN CIRCUIT @13:45 - FP1 & FP2

“Radio check, please” my race engineer said. Williams had the chance to start fourth in the two practices after Alfa Romeo, Ferrari, Red Bull and Alpine.

“ And I thought my heart was detached, from all the sunlight of our past, but she's so sweet, she's so pretty, does she mean you forgot about me? Yeah, yes, I’m going to send you my playlist for the race, what dou you think?”

“We’ll evaluate that after practice”

“It’s not a no, I wil take it”

“Ok Charlotte, 30 seconds to start heating the tyres and whenever you ready, your flying lap”

“Copy”

“Now, we’ll have Williams coming out the pits to start practice, first our rookie Charlotte, fresh out the oven as F2 champion. She’s heating the tyres and has 15 minutes to do a few laps and see how that car goes”

On the broadcast, the faces of the team principals were on screen, with their expectations on the girl and see how she start.

“Ok Charlotte, you can start in the next lap with Leclerc and Ocon in front of you” I pressed the copy bottom. Here I go.

One thing about me it’s that I brake late but my left foot likes to keep itself on the throttle. A girl have to give it all, right?

“I feel like I’m watching the Mercedes W11 all over again. Wow! I can see a future world champion, multiple times If she wanted too”

“That car is fast” said Christian Horner looking to Max’s engineer “What the hell?”

“Definitely it is”

“Toto, even when she brake the car doesn’t go below 170 km/h. what?” Lewis and Bono stand beside the team principal of Mercedes.

“I think that your eight championship have to wait a bit, I can’t believe my eyes”

“That girl is the real Toretto, don´t you think?” asked Yuki to the french man

“I wanna throw myself down a hill to be honest”

“What the f***?, which car is that?, I almost get dizzy” asked Charles over the radio

“That was a Williams, the rookie, she’s 3 seconds faster than you”

“This is going to be a long season. F***”

“Well done Charlotte. With his pace you can certanly win every race this season”

“Haha, good job to everybody from those in the factory to the ones in the garage. What about Alex?”

“As good as you, the difference is 0.337″

“That’s good”

“Yes, we’ll wait for you in the garage”

As I parked, I could heard the applauses from my team and the people around the garage.

And yes.

A very long season ahead.

intro

That was fun.

For those who doesn’t speak spanish, here the translation:

Girasol: sunflower.

Nunca le enseñaste bien español: you never taught him Spanish well.

Ciertamente él fue un terrible alumno: He certainly was a terrible student.

Hope you liked it :)

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fadingsnow · 5 months

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Hiiii I’m back with another ideaaaa- okay so reader is from the districts and was Coryo’s tribute and they fell in love during the games and then he shows up at the pub and hears her singing the song ‘Snowman’ by sia and realizes it’s about him- and whenever she’s done he hugs her and twirls her around and they start dancing in the street and then it starts snowing🥺 add whatever u like but I just thought this was cute

𓆙 SNOWMAN - CORIOLANUS SNOW x f! reader (very short) summary and tw: coriolanus finds out you sang dor him, causing you two to dance in the snow. divider credits : @cafekitsune 𓆙

He opened the door, coming with others to visit the pub. One thing that caught his attention was the tribute from District 12, you, on the stage. You seemed to be putting your voice to good use, winning over the audience just like you won him over.

I want you to know that I'm never leaving

'Cause I'm Mrs. Snow, 'till death we'll be freezing

Yeah, you are my home, my home for all seasons

So come on, let's go

He looked at you in surprise, your attention now on him even though no one else knew that. Mrs. Snow? Were you talking about him? You sang more energetic now, your hands grasped the mic while you sung your heart out about a snowman. A snowman, just like him.

He waited for your song to finish before he ran up to you to grab your hand as you were about to walk out the door. He nodded his head toward to ask if he could come, you murmured a yes.

He blantly got to the point, "Was that song about me?" His hand brushed against yours. He still held love for you, not being able to forget about you.

"Was it not obvious?" You grinned shallowly, placing a hand in one of your pockets. You weren't sure what to say exactly.

"Wait a moment!" He came to a conclusion, laughing honestly for one of the only times you ever saw him laugh like that. "Was it when I tried to teach you that dance to get a better view for the games? Is that what you based it off?" His voice became a little quiet now.

"I did." You shrugged. "Why don't we try it?" You murmured jokingly, you didn't expect him to actually do it.

You looked at him incredulously when he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and placed his hand on your waist and the other on your shoulder.

"C'mon, let's dance." His eyes had a certain twinkle in them, his grip making you blush uncontrallably.

He somehow remembered the song and hummed it, making you move with him. How did it go again? 1.. 2.. 3.. Move to the right..

You frowned when you felt something light touch your hair, your hand moved up to pick it. Snow?

You turned around, confusing Coryo momentarily. You saw snow falling onto the ground, and you too.

You laughed at him when you saw snow covering his "perfect" hair which he takes time to perfect. "Snow's in the snow." You giggled at him, making him pick up snow in his hands and form it into a ball.

"You'll regret that." He started to pick up more snow and throw it at you, making you have to get your own snowballs.

"Snowball fight!" You yelled at him, throwing snowballs at him.

When you two were done, both of you ended up with freezing hands, only available to use each other's breath for warm but it was worth it.

#coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader

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inlovewithpandora · 9 months

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- Do You Regret This? -

Pairing: Human!Lo’ak x fem!pregnant!reader

Request: [ @teyamsbitch ] “do you regret this?” “are you crazy? i would choose you and this family in every single lifetime.” w/ Lo'ak ➟ post. Readers worry she might ruin Lo'ak's life by getting pregnant and tear up a bit and when Lo'ak asks what's wrong she asks if he regrets this happening knowing how this will change their lives forever and lo'ak reassures her that this is what he wants.

Synopsis: You and Lo’ak are having your first child together and as the pregnancy gets further along you wonder if Lo’ak regrets having a baby with you.

Content: Aged!up Lo’ak, Modern au, miscommunication, angst + hurt w/ comfort, mentions of unplanned pregnancy, reader having doubts

Author’s Note: ty for requesting Sia! I hope you enjoy and that it meets your expectations🩷! I loved writing it because I’ve been wanting to write some more Lo’ak x preg!reader (and Lo’ak works in general)

Word Count: 724

Extra: Requests are open! Please read rules before requesting! || Likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated🩷!

Links: Navigation || Avatar Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

“Hey, babe, I’m worried about you. I haven’t talked to you in a while and I miss you. Call me when you get this.” That was the third voicemail Lo’ak left you this week. You’ve been avoiding him at all costs, not wanting to see him after you let your lingering thoughts and fears get the best of you.

You worried that he would feel trapped by you, especially since the pregnancy wasn’t planned. When you found out you were pregnant, you were happy, but also scared about your future. When you told Lo’ak the news, he was happy and excited too, but after that, you didn’t know how he felt. He could be wishing he never had a baby with you for all you knew and that was what you feared the most.

As you sat at the reception desk at your job, greeting visitors coming in, you saw someone who you weren’t expecting or wanted to talk to.

“y/n, we need to talk.” He was tired of you avoiding him. You haven’t been answering his calls, texts, acting as if you weren’t home when he came over, he was sick of it all and he wanted to get to the root of the problem.

“Okay, I get off in a few minutes. You can meet me at my house.” Lo’ak didn’t verbally reply, he just nodded and walked out the revolving doors of the building. You already knew exactly what he wanted to discuss and you weren’t ready for the conversation, but you were definitely preparing yourself.

—

When you made it home, you saw Lo’ak already standing by your front door, waiting for you to come unlock it. Once both of you walked inside and you put your bags down, you sat on the couch and Lo’ak sat beside you.

“Baby, why have you been avoiding me? I’ve been missin’ you like crazy and you haven’t been talkin’ to me at all.” You could see it in his eyes that he’s truly been missing you, that he’s longed for you ever since you excommunicated him from your life.

“Do you regret this?” You asked almost above a whisper, scared to hear his response to your question. You were already nervous about this conversation, so you thought it was best to just be straightforward with him.

“Do I regret this?” Lo’ak repeated the question, confused to what you were implying.

“Do you regret this?” You gestured to your slightly swollen stomach. “Having a baby with me. D-Do you feel like I ruined your life?” Your voice faltered as you talked, your eyes filling with tears until it pooled over and streamed down your cheeks.

“What? No, of course I don’t.” He answered swiftly, not even giving his answer a second thought. He loved the fact that his child was growing inside you, he was ecstatic to know that you and him would raise a child together.

“Me getting pregnant changed our lives completely, and I feel like I changed yours for the worst.” The spreading pain Lo’ak felt in his chest was almost unbearable. To hear you say those words hurt him because he knew that this feeling has been hanging over your head.

Lo’ak placed his hands on your face and used his thumbs to wipe away your tears. “I don't feel that way and I never will. You are the light of my life and the mother of my child. I could never regret having a baby with you. I’m in love with you, whatever happens between us, I’ll always love it. I would choose you and this family in every single lifetime.” His tone was so soft and loving, the way his words flowed through the air made you feel an indescribable sensation. You felt so much peace knowing what Lo’ak was feeling and that his feelings were all positive.

He leaned your head downward a little and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “The life I will forever want is with you and our baby.” He softly smiled, placing his hand on your stomach and feeling the baby begin to kick.

Watching him lit up as he talked about the baby and his future with you made you wonder what you were so worried about. He made you see that he was here for you, forever and always.

I hope you enjoyed🩷!

Previous Fic

Editor - @justmemyselfandthemoon

Taglist: @kasai-https @neteyamsblog @neteyamyawne @hc-geralt-23 @yetanotherattemptatanaccount @myh3artttt @savagemickey03 @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @number1gal @headsincloud9 @buble787635 @normspellmann @em-x0 @sliqeramx @lexasaurs634 @deadgirlrin

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chemo-n-vicodin · 1 year

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heyooo, i saw that you are looking for requests 👀 im think something like the reader is exhausted after a long day and alex comes home after spending the whole day at studio so she tries to make him comfortable (like cooking for him and stuff like that) but nothing is working out and shes just on the verge of a mental breakdown because os exhaustion and frustration so Al takes care of her (idk im sleep deprived) (also its ok if you dont feel like writing it) Anywayssss, have a nice day :)

hii !!! im sorry this took literally forever HELP also i made it fluff i hope you dont mind, hope u have a nice day too <33

alex turner x gn!reader

(i imagine this as early sias/coconut hair alex, but the era isnt really described in the fic so u can imagine whoever)

warnings: reader breaks down; kinda angsty in that sense ? but reader gets comforted; ending is fluffy though

when alex comes home, he usually finds you in the living room, watching tv or summat, or playing with your cat milo. you’re usually there, welcoming him home with hugs and kisses and the warmth you always bring him, but today, the house was quiet when he came home.

he calls your name once, twice, before going into his and your room to check if you’re there, maybe just resting or reading.

when he goes inside, he doesn’t expect to see you laying on the bed, hugging a pillow tight, on his side of the bed, with milo also laying near you as you slept. when he takes a closer look at your resting state, he doesn’t expect to see tears drying on your cheeks. he tries leaving the room to let you rest for a while, but you wake up before he can, milo also getting up and leaving.

“al? hi, baby,” you yawn, checking your phone, “fuck, is that the time? i’ll go get dinner cooking,” you mumbled, getting up and walking to the kitchen. alex looped his arm around your waist, pressing a quick peck to your lips before asking if everything was okay. “okay? yeah, why wouldn’t it be, baby,” you mumbled again before continuing to walk to the kitchen.

fifteen minutes pass by and you haven’t made anything for your and alex’s dinner yet, your mind seemingly so preoccupied with other things that you can’t even focus on making two simple dishes. you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but you just can’t get the soup to taste right, and you don’t know why the chicken isn’t cooking properly.

alex comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder, your head leaning into his chest as you tried turning up the heat for the chicken.

“babe, i don’t think you left the chicken out to thaw for long enough,” he tells you. and it bothers you. it bothers you that he’s right and you didn’t even notice. now you’ve got a frozen half a chicken sitting on the hottest frying pan in the world, and when you check the bottom of the chicken it’s already a little burnt, with flecks of black scattered across it, and you don’t know what’s wrong, why you’ve burnt dinner, why you can’t just focus, why you just can’t seem to do anything right —

and suddenly alex is holding you in his arms on the kitchen floor, tears flowing out of your eyes as you cry. cry about what exactly, you wonder. the half frozen half burnt half a chicken? the soup that tastes so peppery because you’ve accidentally added so much black pepper? the fact that it felt like everyone and everything kept pushing your buttons today, even the poor old lady at the crosswalk who moved a little too slow that you got left at a red light?

sometimes, everything became too much.

alex let you lay in his arms for as long as you needed, even after the tears subsided and were reduced to sniffles. he hugged you even tighter then.

“you okay now, love?” you nodded against his chest. “you wanna go back in bed?” you nodded again. you turned to switch the stoves off, but he’d already turned them off without you noticing. he lifted you up in his arms, bridal style, “then let’s get you back to bed.”

you don’t know how long you’ve been laying in bed with alex, but you’ve definitely calmed down since he brought you to bed. your head is still buried in his chest as you’re playing with his hair and he rubs your cheek with his thumb, his touch more soothing than anything else in that moment. milo comes up to the bed and lays on your side, playing with your tummy, also somehow soothing you.

”better?” you just nodded. “sorry i was at the studio all day, love... if you want me to stay with you, you can tell me and we can do whatever you want, okay?” he kissed your forehead.

“thank you, baby,” you whispered, slowly falling asleep in his arms, “i love you,” you mumbled before you fell asleep.

once he was sure you were asleep, he kissed your forehead again, milo purring as he pet him.

“i love you too.” he followed you to sleep.

#AHDJDHFKGJ #first writing post in *checks clipboard* MONTHS ??!!?!??#acts surprised... even though i know ive not been doing anything about it.... um..#ANYWAYS #i hope u like this bella !!!#mine: writing #alex turner #alex turner x reader #alex turner fluff #alex turner fanfic #idk what tags ppl use anymore bru #fluffy alex #fics: alex #requested #tee hee

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dilucsflame33 · 2 years

Text

Darkest Desires 🔥

137. "You like that, don't ya?"

139. "Dang, that mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble."

140. "If you're good, I'll let you play with my sias."

143. "You're wearing too much."

144. "You know what I want."

Welcome back, everyone! This is a special request from the Queen herself ;) @turtle-babe83

She requested Kink or Treat: Bloody Mary, Raphael style! She gave me the masters choice, so I have delivered. I hope you love this, Hon! Hopefully I didn't go overboard. 😅

🔞 Warning 🔞 NFSW 18+

Use of weapon, bondage, tentacle play, dacryphilia, overstimulation, body worship, praise kink, double penetration, Daddy kink, and feral Raphael.

"I-Is that all you've got, big guy?"

Raphael can't help but laugh as he hears your stutter, moans and whimpers come out of your lips as black mist like tentacles took hold of your body and used you for its own pleasure.

Goodness, you look so delectable.

Raphael took hold of your cheeks in his hand; your cheeks squished and lips turned into a pout, his eyes gleamed with pride knowing he was the one who gave you such bliss. A chuckle left him.

"Dang," he says as he watched as you orgasmed for the third time that night. "That mouth of yours is gonna get yourself in trouble."

He leaned in as he watched tears of pleasure run down your cheeks, making the turtle groan. "I wanna see you break, princess, and I'm not stopping until I say so."

Raph groaned as he woke up from his coma. His emerald eyes scanned the place as his eyes widened. He was sitting on the ground, chained to a metal pole as he looked down. At least his weapons are still there.

Where was he? He was with the others, then he was knocked unconscious.

The flooring and the roof are made out of wood; the shelving has really spooky intricacies that make it look like you're in some Resident Evil video game. Jars and other containers are filling the shelves and some with century old books. Some books look like they have seen better days. In the middle of the room was a black cauldron. Judging by the smoke illuminated from inside, someone must have recently been here. There was a window that was close to the door, the moon shining full in the night sky.

When he turned to his right he jumped when a black crow was sitting next to him, staring into his soul and making the brute feel uneasy.

Raph inclined his head as he tries to calm his racing heart.

Okay, Raphael, this is the plan. You're strong enough to break these chains. If you could break a concrete boulder, you can break through metal and iron. He thought to himself as he readied for breaking the chains.

"I wouldn't try that, if I were you."

Raph jerked out of his thoughts as a woman came into view from behind him. The woman was gorgeous. Dark, raven hair was in beautiful curls as she pulled her hood back. Her celestial blue eyes shine through the darkness as her red velvet dress swayed with her movements. Her heels clanked against the hardwood floor as she picked up a lantern from the table that was behind him to his left.

His green eyes held furrying rage as he stared down at the woman, who placed the lantern on top of the pedestal in front of the cauldron. "Who are you? And what do you want from me?"

"Oh, feisty. I always love men like you. I bet your soul is tasty as you look." The woman smiled wickedly. Her red lipstick makes her all the more gorgeous, yet eerie. Her voice is silky smooth and aged like fine wine.

Raph felt uncomfortable with her sentence. The only woman he preferred was Y/N. "Sorry, lady, but I'm not interested." Was his reply as he adjusted his posture. "And I don't appreciate you chaining me up either. So, we can either do this the easy way. Or, my vote, the hard way."

The woman laughed as her palm clutched her chest. "Oh, darling, you crack me up. The name is Olivia. Try to break those chains, I dare you."

Raph huffed as he yanked his arms, but the chains didn't break. Nor the metal pole that was attached to the wooden ceiling. His eyes widened in panic.

"Fascinating, is it not? Just a simple spell to keep the bonds and pole intact while you struggle for your life." She smiled as she went to the shelves, her finger pointing through the book titles. Her smile widened when she pulled one as she looked through the contents. "Perfect."

Raph watched her as his stomach felt queasy, his breathing rapid. It was like that time when he jumped off the plane a year ago. Panic and fear filled his being. What was she going to do to him? She was literally human!

Olivia hums as she reads whatever was in the book, turning page after page until her eyes widened with mischief.

"Tell me, Raphael, do you believe in demons?"

"I mean, I'm a walking-talking turtle. What else should I need to know?" Raph glared as his fist clenched.

"Oh, you will learn a lot more when you've become one yourself, my dear Raphael."

Then black smoke started to form from within the cauldron, making the turtle try to go backwards but couldn't when his shell hit the metal pole. He's trapped and can't do anything about it. He couldn't stand it. He doesn't like being held down, much less by a crazy witch who's gonna turn him into a demon.

Olivia started chanting a ritual as more of the black mist started to cover his being. He hissed as the burning sensation trickled from his legs to his thighs. Then his abdomen and his chest. When the mist fully covered him his body felt hot, almost like he needed to jump into some cold water. Soon his breathing picked up and growls came out of his throat as his hips jerked, his lower regions becoming all the more painful. Just when he let out growls and churrs, the lantern that was on the pedestal broke into pieces. Glass and metal scattered on to the floor as the woman had a shocked looking face. "My word!"

"W-What have you done to me?" His voice was rough and husky as his emerald eyes glowed from within the darkness.

"Just turned you into a demon. If you want to get technical, an incubus." She smirked as she closed the book. "Now, I feel like there's someone in your life. Someone who can fulfill all your fantasies. So, why not go ahead and take advantage of the new powers I have gifted to you?"

With that she snapped her fingers and the chains broke off from his wrists; the sound of metal hitting the floor and Raph reached for her, but Olivia waved her hand as he was flown from the room and out of the abandoned warehouse.

Olivia laughed as she watched him leave.

"Have fun, Raphael."

Y/N was sound asleep when she heard a noise from her room. Jerked awake, she looked around. There was nothing out of the ordinary and she sighed, shaking her head as she laid back onto her pillow.

Few minutes passed and she was about to go back to dreamland, until she felt hand touch her ankle and she jerked awake again. Turning on the lamp from her bedside table, there was nothing there yet she could feel eyes on her. Like someone was watching her.

Getting up from her bed she opened her bedroom door, looked around, and saw nothing. She waltzed towards her window, looked outside and saw nothing. Making sure she locked both the door and window.

She got into bed, turned off the light and covered herself. Whatever it was, it's gone now. Or she hoped it was.

Her phone rang and she groaned, turning onto her side and grabbed her phone. It was Leo. She answered it with a tired, "Hello?"

"Y/N, I apologize for waking you up but we have a problem." Leo's voice was serious, almost panicked as he spoke. "We can't find Raphael and it's been over an hour since we've last separated."

That woke her up as she sat up from her bed, back against the headboard. She checked her clock and it was after one in the morning. "What happened?"

"I don't know. We were doing our nightly rounds and we got separated. I thought he was with us, then when I turned around he was gone. Like he just disappeared out of thin air!"

"What's bad was I saw him next to me!" Mikey's voice came through the phone, probably having her on speaker. "But his expression doesn't look right, man! It's so creepy. Like his eyes weren't green, almost hollowed out and doesn't have eyes!"

"And his skin was darker than usual," Donnie commented. "It was like our brains were manipulated into seeing something that wasn't entirely there! Like a projection."

Y/N started to get weirded out. Not only did her beloved boyfriend disappear but also the guys were experiencing something out of the norm. Even if they are mutants, whatever they are seeing was something paranormal all together.

"And this only happened tonight, right?" She asked, the others affirmed with 'yes'. The woman rubbed her eyes as she could have sworn she saw something from the corner of her eye. "Okay. Retrace your steps: go to the place where you thought Raph looked normal and try to find anything that was left behind. Whoever took Raph has to be another mutant, right?"

"Hold on, Y/N, what kind of address did you give us?"

"Huh?" The woman was confused. She didn't mention any type of address and she was about to speak when Leo interrupted.

"I don't know what kind of address you gave us, but hopefully it'll give us some leads. We'll update you if we find anything." With that, Leo hung up.

Y/N was gonna call them back when her phone was thrown across the room, making the woman gasp as she climbed to the middle of her bed. She could hear the floors creak as she stared into the darkness but couldn't make out anything.

Then green emerald eyes glowed as she gasped inaudibly. His tall, broad stature was completely black as their eyes met. Y/N wanted to speak but nothing would come out, completely terrified as the figure's eyes stared her down.

"Y/N." His voice spoke, and it made your heart jump, felt like it's coming out of your throat. "Don't be afraid. It's me."

With a gulp of confidence - and saliva - she slowly eased off from the bed and walked towards the figure, still feeling uneasy. The woman never believed in the paranormal, yet she never believed in mutated turtles until she met one. Or never thought she will fall in love with one either.

Standing in front of the light where the window casted, she stood in front of the figure. Taking slow deep breaths, she said, "W-Who are you? And why are you in my house?"

The figure stepped back and raised its hands in surrender. "Woah, there, tiger. I'm not allowed to come see ya?" His voice teased, she could have sworn she saw him smirking.

Y/N eyes widened as she looked at the figure more carefully, taking in his words. This couldn't be who she thought it was, right? Testing out her theory she reached up to his hand and taking hold of it. Calluses ran inside of his palm as she trailed her eyes towards his bulky biceps and looked into his eyes once again. The green is more vibrant but there's no doubt on who this person was.

"Raphael?" She whispered as her eyes focused in the darkness and more of his figure became apparent. He looks just the same as ever, but his skin was darker than usual. It could be the lighting, but his eyes don't usually glow in the dark like this. "What's happened to you? Why aren't you with your brothers?"

Raphael snickered as he stood one foot to the other. "It's a long story, babe. But, right now," He smirked as he leaned in towards you, his lips barely brushing up against yours. "I want to have a taste of you."

With that she gasped as black mist like tentacles started to form and slowly eased towards her. "W-What is this?"

"A witch did this to me." He gruffed as he crossed his arms, making his arms and shoulders more broad. "Turned me into an incubus and now I want to have every single ounce of you, baby. Every cry, scream, moan and whimper you make will be mine. Every inch of your body belongs to me. I wanna hear you scream out my name when you come on my cock. To feel your insides squeeze me and fill you to the brim." His eyes sparked when he saw your breathing pick up speed. "How does that sound, babe?"

Oh. Good. Heavens.

Never in her life had she heard her boyfriend talk this much filth. He has talked dirty to her before, but this went above and beyond. She let out a whimper as she was affected by his words and the tentacles slowly wrapped around her legs. Only wearing pajama top and shorts she screeched as she was suddenly yanked above the floor, arms above her head and legs spread. Raphael growled deep within his throat as he took in this delicious sight.

"You like that, don't ya?" His voice became an octave deeper as he trailed his finger tips from her ankles to her calves. "To be manhandled by a mutant turtle-"

"Who's also my boyfriend, so you better watch what you say." Y/N snapped. She can't stand it when he downgrades himself. Raphael's perfect in every way. Yes, he has flaws but so does everyone on this earth. "You know I can't stand it when you downgrade yourself, Raphie."

His eyes widened but soon softened. "I don't deserve you, baby doll. I-I'm a hothead, stubborn and a freak! How can a beautiful woman date someone like me?"

"Raphael, look at me," It took a while but he did. Emerald eyes stared at her and she smiled gently. "I don't want anyone else, baby. Nobody can love me like you can, or touch me like you. And nobody will ever understand me like you can. You're always there for me when I need you. I choose you because I love all of you, Raphael. Flaws and all, and you love me just the same. We're in this together and I'm not leaving. I will tell you again and again if I had to. I love you, Raphael."

The red clad turtle bit his lip as tears welled up in his eyes. Yes he's loved by his brothers and father, but something feels different knowing there's someone else besides family who has confessed their love to you.

"You may be hot headed, but you're my big softy. My big teddy bear when I need to cuddle and cry on." He chuckled as memories came to his mind. He's definitely a teddy bear, the only time he will ever admit it was in private. He would never hear the end of it when his brothers were around.

He leaned towards her and kissed her forehead, cheeks, nose. Anywhere on her face he would kiss, making the woman squeal in delight. "I love you more, babe. So much more than you will ever know." He's not good with words but he's a man of action and Raphael's a man on a mission. "But I do have something to tell ya though."

When Y/N tilted her head to the side, the man chuckled. "You're wearing too much."

A gasp escaped her as Raphael used his sias and cut off her clothes without a scratch on her. Her scent more apparent, he inhaled as a deep groan rumbled from within his chest. "Gods, you smell good."

"Raphie, please."

"Call me Daddy."

Oh, goodness gracious. That was hot!

A moan rumbled from her throat as the tentacles slowly made its way towards her breasts and tweaked them. She tried to close her legs but couldn't as the mist held them in their place. Raph smirked as one tentacle slithered towards her sex and rubbed her clit, the other teasing her entrance.

"This is definitely a sight to see." And with that he leaned against the wall, enjoying the show as his baby doll was being used. He shifted his legs as he felt uncomfortable in his pants. Gosh how he wants to rip them off, but not right now.

He wants to see Y/N quivering in ecstasy.

"If you're good, I'll let you play with my sias." He chuckled as he twirled his weapon in his hand. "Or, better yet, I'll let ya play with cock."

Y/N moaned out as the tentacle sunk deep within her. Two playing with her nipples, one teasing her clit and the other slowly yet torturously going in and out from her sex. And it's not his size. She wanted him badly. "D-Daddy, please. I need you!"

"If you're still talking, my friends aren't doin' ya right. Pick up the pace boys." Raph commanded as your screams echoed throughout the bedroom. Wet sounds emitted from your core and you can't help but to clench as your orgasm was coming closer with every thrust.

"That's it, baby. You're doing so good for Daddy." He praised as he bit his lip as he watched you reach your climax. "You can handle another, right?"

He didn't give her enough time to reply when she felt another tentacle reach her back end, it's slick enough as it teased her rim.

"Come on, baby. Give me another." After he said that, she came again. Just being overstimulated like this was driving her mad. "That's my girl."

Oh, how she whimpered from the praise.

"What do you want, princess?" Raph asked as he pushed himself from the wall and walked towards her trembling body. She wailed in ecstasy as a tentacle slowly pryes it's way inside her anal canal. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and both of her holes had been filled.

"Y-You know what I want." She spoke once again and Raph 'tsked'. With that look, she knew that he wasn't done with her.

"You can still speak," He gruffed as he took off his pants. His throbbing cock now free from confinement, taking grasp in his hand and stroking it. Groans left his throat as he touched himself. "Pull her mouth towards me."

With that, the tentacles maneuvered her as she was now faced with his throbbing pendage.

"Let's see how it feels with all three of your holes being used, hm?"

The pleasure was non-stop. She lost count on how many times she came, but all she knew was that she's been filled to the brim from her sex as Raphael pounded into her like a feral animal. He came in her throat, on her stomach, back and now he's claimed her womb with his essence twice.

She could feel his seed exited from within her and spilled to the floor below them. All she could do was scream and wail, and she was about to lose her voice.

Whenever he tells her to speak and she replies with words, he wasn't having it. Raphael was making sure she cannot speak properly. He wants to do his job right.

The tentacles still working on her breasts and her anal canal, but Raph owned her sex. Claiming it his property.

"You're taking my cock so good, baby doll. Just look at you. Eyes rollin' and everything." He groaned as he continuously thrust into every spot from within her. "Tell me, baby. Who do you belong to?"

All she could do was moan out and he smirked. "That's my good girl. Gosh, I love you so much!"

With that, she came for the final time as he roared from his orgasm. More of his essence spilled from within her and fell to the floor, but none of them cared. They both relinquish the feeling of their bodies joined together at this moment.

With that, he finally pulled away from her as the tentacles slowly left the woman's body and Raphael held her in his arms. "You did so well, baby. I love you so much."

Y/N groaned as she tried to feel her arms but couldn't as her body was made out of jelly. Raphael officially screwed her brains out. When she looked up, his eyes no longer glowing in the darkness and his skin not the darker shade.

He's back to normal.

"Come on, princess. Let's get ya to the bath." Raph carried his woman to the bathroom and started filling up the tub. Water the perfect temperature, he gently placed her down inside. He added some bubbles for her enjoyment. "Let me grab ya some water, okay?"

All she could do was nod tiredly as she watched him walk out of the bathroom. The water was so warm and she could fall asleep.

When Raph came back with water, his eyes melted as he saw her sleeping form. Her head resting on the side as little snores emitted from her lips. He placed the glasses down and rubbed her head, placing a kiss to her forehead.

"Goodnight, baby. I'll be here when you wake up."

Tags:

@leosgirl82 @exovapor @thelaundrybitch

Here's my Master List!

🔞 REBLOGS ONLY, NO REPOST 🔞

#dilucsflame33 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt raphael #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt bayverse raphael #bayverse raphael smut #raphael x reader #raphael x reader smut

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starsurface · 2 months

Note

Haii I forgor if requests are still open but are you able to do mk1 cg!Kitana with baby regressor!milena headcanons? If not that's okay!! -🐯

Omg of course!!!! I love the sisters in this universe!!! <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Kitana w/ Babyspace Regressor Mileena MK1 Hcs

💙 Before Tanya became Mileena's main CG, Kitana was Mileena’s main CG (and still kinda is)

🩷 Mileena mostly regresses to a toddler headspace

💙 But, especially after she got Tartak, she began regressing very younger

🩷 When Mileena first started baby regressing, it's was almost always negative

💙 Either her new disease threatening her, or her Mother's words, or the rumors the People would spread

🩷 She'd end up incredibly small, fussy, and clinging to her sister for comfort

💙 Kitana stuck with her during this time, gently shushing her cries, holding her closely

🩷 Kitana knew the risks of what could happen if she was near Mileena while her Tarkat was acting up

💙 When this happened, she'd swaddle Mileena in a very specific blanket bought just for these occasions, and lay at least a body next to her in bed

🩷 If we ignore canon and Tarkat isn't spread by touch, Kitana will gently shush and rock Mileena as the poor baby cries over how her body hurts

💙 Luckily, overtime, her regressing to babyspace became less negative and more her having an extremely tough day and regressing super small

🩷 ^ Especially after she became Empress, people are big meanies sometimes >:(

💙 Mileena is usually a very good baby, but sometimes she likes being a brat!! >:)

🩷 She'll be snuggling up to Kitana’s side one minute, and then chewing on one of her sia’s the next minute

💙 Unfortunately (luckily) Kitana’s a big meanie and will put all their weapons onto high spaces

🩷 Mileena really likes comfy onesies and Kitana likes spoiling her loved ones (so she has like, a thousand and one in every color <3)

💙 Mileena doesn't really care about her hair being done

🩷 But Kitana loves putting her sister's hair into cute styles (adores tieing bows into her hair too)

💙 Luckily, they can settle this very easily

🩷 By that I mean thar Mileena will sit on a comfy pillow on the floor and chew on her chewie ring and watching her favorite show while Kitana does her hair

💙 Mileena will screech is Kitana tugs too hard, no ifs or buts (also finds it funny, but will pout instead of giggle)

🩷 Because of Mileena’s teeth, Kitana and her spent hours trying to find a good chew ring for her (it was trial and error for a long time)

💙 Mileena use to grt super fussy and cry in Kitana’s arms everytime one of her chewies broke

🩷 Mostly because her chew rungs are her comfort objects (she can't use pacis because of her teeth)

💙 Luckily, they found one and Mileena runs to it every time she's small (well, makes Kitana get it while Mileena fusses, but still)

🩷 Mileena is an ipad baby!!! (Kinda)

💙 She's not very good at managing her iPad (Johnny got it for her) and whenever she clicks on something wrong she'll angrily give it to Kitana

🩷 Luckily, Kitana’s decent with Earthrealm technology (and if neither sisters can do it, they'll call Tomas or Johnny)

💙 Favorite babyspace shows are Minnie's Bo-Peep and Doc McStuffins

🩷 Mileena's not a babbler, but on extremely sad baby days, she has a habit of going nonverbal

💙 Luckily, Kitana is very patient with her during these days, she knows it's hard for Mileena to communicate her feelings right now

🩷 MK1 Mileena has her MK11 stuffies and she'll bring them everywhere when she's tiny

💙 By that, she'll hold one while Kitana will hold the other two and have Mileena on her hip :3

🩷 (MK1 Mileena would have a Tanya inspired Teddy instead of a Jade inspire Teddy) (no hate towards Jade, I love her, she's just currently not in MK1)

make Kitana

💙 Kitana’s main CG nicknames are Sissy or K’Tana

🩷 Mileena’s favorite little nicknames are Sweetie, Rascal, Sweetheart, Baby Girl, Cookie, and Bumble Bee

💙 Also really likes ‘Leeeeeenia (only if she's caught doing something naughty so she can squeal and giggle while hurriedly crawling away)

🩷 Kitana will call Mileena her baby sister and Mileena will whine and glare at her

💙 Toddler and Baby Mileena like having tea parties but slightly different

🩷 Big Mileena has very big tea parties, having both her and Kitana in tiaras and tutus while they have yummy normal tea party snacks

💙 Baby Mileena doesn't dress up, but she'll wear her favorite onesie and sit on Kitana’s lap and they'll have her favorite baby snacks

🩷 Favorite two baby snacks are baby yogurt bites and strawberry pocky

💙 Unfortunately Kitana’s still a big meanie and won't let her munch on these all day long 😒

🩷 But she'll spoon feed Milena some softer foods (luckily Mileena really likes a lot of fruits so it's okay)

💙 Because of Mileena’s teeth, she can't really use bottles or sippies

🩷 But because of how small she is, she spills big kid cups :(

💙 Luckily, they found a very sturdy metal straw Mileena really likes when she's small and Kitana will hold the cup for her

🩷 Mileena has a . . . small biting problem

💙 She's not naughty!! >:(

🩷 She's just . . expressing her love <3

💙 Kitana usually gently scolds her but will let her go most times

🩷 Finds it amusing when Mileena tries to sneakily shuffle over and gently nom her arm (she always watches her teeth, even when she's really tiny)

💙 ^ It's a main reason why they have Mileena's chew ring, she's must happier chewing on that than risking hurting her favorite big sissy

🩷 Baby Mileena is very clingy and will snuggle up to Kitana 24/7

💙 Luckily Kitana also adores cuddling, and will swaddle Mileena in a fuzzy blanket and take a nice little nap with her

🩷 Mileena takes advantage of Kitana's strength and constantly asks for uppies (which Kitana happily provides)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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ofdinosanddais1 · 21 days

Text

Heartbreak High Season 2 Spoilers

So... lots of shit happened in the finale.

1): I like that they're setting up a redemption for Sasha and Spider. Both have done such horrible things on complete opposite ends of the spectrum but it's nice to see they could have a path to growth.

2): For Spider, I'm hoping to see more of his home life. I am thinking his father abused both him and his mom and his mom had a traumatic response which made her fear men including her own son. I think she pushed him away when she should've helped him because that's her kid and he reacted in his own way. And that does not absolve him of his wrongdoings, it means he has to sort through this shit in order to grow and prevent further harm to others. I would love to see more discussion on that in the third season. I would love for Spider to have a retribution and closure arc not for his own wellbeing (although it's a factor) but because there are boys watching this show who might have experienced things like him who might want to know it's okay to feel emotions and to see the damage that his actions did to show that it's not a healthy thing to do and it hurts a lot of people. I said redemption arc because that's probably what the show is setting up for but I think "redemption" should be left ambiguously like he's trying to be better but his actions have lasting consequences on the people he's hurt and he will always be making up for that. Changing for other people is not about being seen as the good guy but doing your best to prevent further harm. It's a complicated thing to deal with but I think showing that complexity like they have before is so important for kids watching this show.

3): I would fucking adore to see a Sasha redemption arc mostly for my own experience with other people who behaved like her who never learned from their mistakes for treating me differently because I'm autistic. Some of y'all might not want a redemption arc for her but like, I would fucking love to see her apologize and acknowledge what she did wrong and show change. Even if it's hard to do at first because no one will be perfect on the first try. After the lack of a genuine apology from Sia and her actions to the autistic community and how she continues to victimize herself, I just really want an allistic person to apologize and do better and I think the set-up for that in season 3 is PERFECT. Hopefully, there's a way for Quinni to still be school captain with Sasha as her co-captain because I think a message of uplifting people in communities you are not a part of is an EXCELLENT message. Sasha could step back with being the leading voice in this and allow Quinni to be a voice in her life as being autistic. Then this could expand to Sasha stepping back and uplifting other people's voices and learn that activism is about bringing people together and allowing space to share ideas and not trying to call out every single action she thinks is wrong. Overall though, I don't want them back in a relationship. I think the captain/vice-captain friendship could be fucking GREAT.

4): My heart fucking hurts for Cash. During that whole episode where he was on that boat with Chook, I was so fucking scared it was gonna be a jumping out situation but I fucking hope Chook doesn't mess with Cash or Harper anymore. He fucking had a deal and I don't want any redemption for Chook whatsoever. Crime and recidivism reduction is a special interest of mine and I fucking hated that Cash was in that situation to begin with and it's a perfect example of how vulnerable people join gangs. I am so fucking elated that this show is doing a great job of representing crime, recidivism, and police brutality. I'll have to research the prison system in Australia because I wanna see the similarities between Australia and the US's prison system. But YES. NAIL ON HEAD. A lot of teenagers and children join gangs because they are vulnerable whether that be an abusive home life such as Cash being in a group home then in Chook's gang before his grandma brought him to her home. How your family, your friends, your loved ones are all in danger when you are trying to leave a gang. I'm so fucking relieved that hopefully Cash can be free. I don't trust Chook's word though and that stuff always haunts people who often have no choice. I just want him to be safe and loved and cared for. He deserves so much better.

5): Kinda disappointed that Harper and Amerie didn't have a conversation on how Harper treated her but I think I still like their arc. I don't think that they're in anyway on the best terms they could be but I think it's because that Amerie views relationships transactionally in the way that she thinks she has to give every cent of her self to make other people accept her and I wanna see more of Amerie's story. For one, we know she has a sorta strict mom. For two, I've never seen anything about her dad. I'm wondering if there was an incident in her peer group in the earlier days or a situation in her home life where she feels like she constantly has to give 200% just to feel like she deserves even 5% of something. I really want the showrunners to tackle that kind of stuff in the third season. I want Harper and Amerie to have some kind of realization that their friendship is more complicated and I want Amerie to just have a god damn break for once. Have like a filler episode or gods just a fucking nap. I want Amerie to get like a cold where Harper or Darren or someone just helps her out while a bunch of crazy shit happens at school. Give my girl a break.

6): I fucking hate Rowan. He's manipulative but also traumatized. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT SAM RECHNER DID PORTRAYING HIM??? It's like he woke up one day as Rowan like his acting was fucking PHENOMENAL. If Rowan is in the third season, I'm not going to be mad because I fucking love Sam Rechner's portrayal of a teenager that is aggressive and touchy and just... how tf do I put this... a sort of trauma-touched angry that is not the typical portrayal of "I'm angry because I'm traumatized" but just representative of people who are like him if that makes any fucking sense??? Idk how to describe his attitude and mannerisms because there us definitely trauma laced with his actions but you can also tell through his backstory that this shit didn't start with his trauma or at least not the one we saw in the beginning. It's kinda like the signs of a serial killer but (hopefully) those signs are recognized and he is placed in a treatment that can focus on protecting himself and others. I don't think his behaviors will go away and I would not be surprised if he's not in the second season because he was institutionalized because that seems like a natural progression.

It's weird to talk about Rowan because there are signs that his trauma has influence on his behavior but is not the sole cause of his behavior. I don't want to put some kind of diagnostic label on him and I encourage everyone else to also not put a diagnostic label on him because I think most people watching (including myself) have the psychological knowledge to put a label on him without demonizing other mental illnesses because I see a lot of behaviors that can be attributed to some psychological problems but I'm not educated enough to talk about that without demonizing people with those mental illnesses who act so far from his other behaviors. So, I don't recommend other people putting a label on him because, even with good intentions, there are people who would want to use Rowan as a reason to demonize real life mentally ill people. But, I do not fucking like him as a person. I love the characterization. But fuck him to the sun, man. He was manipulative of Amerie and he was trying to forget Amerie but his thoughts did result in harmful actions and I think the best retribution would be deep psychiatric help but knowing the mental health industry, the kind of help he needs does not currently exist and that fucking sucks. If he is in the next season, I'm not going to complain because holy fuck I loved the character in the realm of his writing like the writer room for Heartbreak High deserves a fucking award.

Overall, my thoughts on the season were that I love how complicated everyone is. The characters feel like actual people that exist in real life. They feel loved and cared for and I hope netflix greenlights a third season. I've seen a LOT of people recently who hadn't watched the first season come out but got a netflix account specifically to watch Heartbreak High and that kind of thing is what netflix WANTS so I'm a little more hopeful that a third season might get greenlit. I'm excited to see what the showrunners do next.

Again, gonna say that, whatever behaviors that Rowan has that can be attributed to certain mental health disorders, let's just consider what fuel we're adding to the fire.

And because some people did this, remember that the actors are not the characters. A lot of people bullied Gemma for Sasha's actions but Gemma is the actor playing Sasha, she is not actually Sasha. She did a fantastic job so it might be confusing but she is not Sasha and does not deserve the hate she gets for her wonderful portrayal. This goes for EVERY actor.

#god i fucking love this show #heartbreak high #heartbreak high spoilers #heartbreak high season 2 spoilers #heartbreak high season 2 #phenomenal fucking job

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hoe4sports · 1 month

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Ruesha Littlejohn | “Your love lifts me up like helium.”

A/N: Just wanted to do a little something with this song. Listen to it if you’d like, it was the inspo for this piece of art.

Trigger warning: Depression like feelings, mentions of feeling like there is no hope. Mentions of ending life. Panic attacks.

Two days prior to this moment, the Republic of Ireland had touched down in Australia. We had a week before the actual fifa program would start. It was great as it gave us time to explore as well as getting to know the humid climate down under. The practices were going great, and I was trying to fit in as much touristy things as I could. Ruesha on the other hand, had seen Katie and Caitlin Foord walk out of Katie’s hotelroom together at 5 in the morning leaving the gorgeous blonde once again crushed to pieces. And how was I doing you may wonder? Well, me and Ruesha was sharing a room. I weren’t getting much sleep, and for all the wrong reasons.

I was woken up just after midnight by Ruesha’s crying. “It was 6 years of my life” Ruesha sulked as I tried to comfort her again. She was leaning against me while we were both camping out on her bed. “6 years I’ll never get back..” she kept going. “Nobody is ever gonna love me like her, I’m too old now” she said as she sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeves. “Ruesh, you’ll find someone” I said as I yawned. “What if she also cheats? I’m pathetic. I’m never gonna be enough for a lifetime” she sulked as I rolled my eyes. “Okay, maybe little Rushie needs to go to sleep, yeh? Here, I’ll help you.” I mumbled as I forced her to lay down on the soft mattress. “Sometimes feelings get bigger at nighttime. That’s why you should be gettin’ some sleep” I said as a stroked her hair. I tried to stand up slowly as she closed her eyes and her muscles relaxed, only to make it to the end of my bed before she started crying again. She hadn’t slept alone for 6 years, and for the last week she had been sleeping next to me. “Okay, pretty girl, how about we sleep next to eachother eh?” I said as I scooted in and held her as her sobs quietly stopped. She was fast asleep, even snoring as I kissed the top of her head. “I’m gonna get you through this Rushie”

The next nights were followed by the same crying, only it was escalating every night. Sobbing turned into crying turned into hysterically crying. Tonight was night 7, and tomorrow we were playing against Australia and Katie’s new girlfriend. Ruesha had skipped breakfast, lunch and dinner today, and I was worried. Her normally bright eyes were tired and heavy. Her clothes fitting visibly looser now than just 7 days ago. “I’m never gonna be happy again” . That was the first sign of her nightly crying. “Nobody will ever love me again, I’m unloveable.” she continued. “I don’t have a house, a job or even a girlfriend anymore” I sighted as I could hear her starting to rumble. “Ruesh, I think you need to see a psychologist.” she looked at me with fear in her eyes and she snapped immediately. “I don’t need no psychiatrist or whatever!”. She crossed her arms, and looked like I had just offered her drugs. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” She shouted as she threw a pillow at me. I couldn’t stand it anymore seeing as I was getting 3-4 hours sleep every night because of McBastard and her new toy. I turned my back towards Ruesha as I fell asleep covering my ear with a pillow to dim her cries.

I was woken up violently two hours later by Ruesha being out of breath. She was hyperventilating,ugly crying and was hysterical. She was screaming and wheezing at the same time shaking as if her last day had arrived. I assessed her for a few seconds to figure out what the hell was going on. “Rushie?” I asked carefully as she looked desperately at me. Oh my, she was having a full blown panic attack. I hopped out of bed and sprinted across the room to get to her as quickly as I could. I sat myself behind her and held her tight trying to decompress her. “Breathe Rushie, take a deep breath.” I encouraged as she shook her head. I had panic attacks as a young teen, and I used to drink something to get it to stop. I desperately looked around me, and grabbed the closest bottle I could find as I took the top off it. “Here, drink Ruesha. It will help, I promise!” I said as she shook her head once again. “N-no!’ I’m n-not! I-I-I don’t deserv-“ she cried as the panic continued and took over her breathing. Jesus, Katie has ruined her making her believe that she didn’t deserve fucking oxygen. “Hey, hey, you, come here Rue rue” I said as I sat myself infront of her. “Touch my hands please” I said as I reached out my hands. She grabbed my hands quickly as she panicked. “Squeeze my hands, as hard as you can” i commanded and she squeezed. “Now, put your hands on your head” i said as I demonstrated the movement hoping it would open her lungs up. She moved her hands and placed them on her head while still desperately trying to catch her breath. I scooted closer to her, so we our noses touched. “Ruesha, it’s okay. It’s just a panic attack. We are gonna get through this.” I said as I stared into her stunning eyes. I couldn’t even imagine how her eyes were so beautiful even at her worst. I reached out and pulled her into my lap, as I squeezed her hard moving the attention away for the breathing. I stroke her back with decent pressure and kept forcing her to breath in a square. After a few mins of breathing together, she calmed down and flopped toward me. Her body starved of energy. We sat there in silence while I held her tight.

“Rue?”

“Mm?”

“We are gonna get through this together. I’m not leaving you, ever.” I said as I kissed the top of her head. “But tomorrow morning, we are going to talk to the coaches about this, okay?” I said as she nodded and laid down.

She turned herself towards me laying in my warm embrace her face close to mine as she fell asleep. I waited a good 30 minutes before I dared to fall asleep fearing that she might start panicking again. I spent the time admiring her features. I could tell if even one freckle had moved. She was just so beautiful. When she slept soundly, I allowed myself some rest. But before i fell asleep I touched her peaceful face. I leaned in towards her ear and whispered;

“When you hit the ground, I’ll be all you need Rue. I’ll love you everyday.”

*Ruesha pov*

I woke up at 7.30 confused. What had happened last night? I was confused as it hit me as a train. Panic attacks. Crying. Feeling like I didn’t deserve air. I turned around in the single bed finding Benedicte holding me as she slept soundly. She had been my bestfriend forever, even before I met Katie. I admired her before touching her face. It was first now that I noticed how beautiful her face was. Tan skin. Light pink full lips, all natural. Her light blue eyes shut as she slept. I decided to hold her as she turned around in her sleep as I realised that she had slept less than me as she was trying to fix what Katie had broken. I leaned in towards her ear and whispered; “Your love lifts me up like helium. I love you, B.»

Perhaps if I practiced while she slept, then I might work up the courage to tell her one day..

#woso imagine #ruesha littlejohn #katie mccabe imagine #Spotify

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putanaperdonna · 1 year

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RE8 Headcanon: AU Resident Evil Village characters at the gym🏋️:

A/N: Okay so recently I’ve started going to the gym and working out properly and today I literally had to hold back from giggling like a colossal MORON because all I can think of is what if the RE8 characters were in this gym rn LMAO. So these are how I think they would be in a gym environment or what exercise they would be into lol enjoy 😭

Alcina Dimitrescu:

Alcina definitely trains in the weight section like how else would she throw that dresser lmao

She has like a set routine of what muscle groups she’s gonna hit on what day

Definitely favours upper body workouts though she is a sucker for chasing that glute pump on leg day

She’s not into cardio though she will go for walks but only indoors on the treadmill lmao

She warms up and cools down properly too… she takes everything very seriously

She loves looking like a baddie at the gym too it’s what motivates her to go! She’s old school though so like flared yoga pants and sleeveless shirts are her go-to

If you’re usually intimidated by the weight sections you feel way more confident if she’s in the area since the GymBros™️ know better than to fuck with her

She also does CrossFit here and there just so she can focus on driving ~power~ through her body

The Dimitrescu sisters

POLE FIT!!

Cassandra kinda just likes to control the music though she does demonstrations of movements for her sisters (bc they're incompetent duh)

Dani is actually trying to create her own routine and lord she is SICK of Cass’s micromanaging

Bela is just climbing the pole and swinging aimlessly… she doesn’t do it to perform or anything she just likes having her Chandelier by Sia™️ moment

They are doing it behind their mum’s back obviously

They install a pole in the foyer though, then they have to explain to Alcina what it’s for

“I know what a stripper is and I thought I raised you girls to be classy!”

They have to explain that a) Ain’t nothing wrong with being a stripper and b) They are not stripping, they’re exercising by using their body strength 🤪

“You girls don’t need exercise. You can turn into flies for gods sake!”

Donna Beneviento

Hot Girl Walks™️ with or without incline

Gf is NOT one for sweating… she already is relatively physically active anyways if she’s carving out larger pieces of wood to make dolls

She likes that she can put on headphones and a playlist and just have Donna time™️

But if she’s feeling particularly pissed off or overly energised, she installed a boxing bag in her basement and she likes to go punchy punchy kicky kicky

Angie likes to coach her on her technique (she knows nothing and frequently suggests Donna should punch the rocks outside because she saw Chris Redfield do it once and thought it would make Donna stronger)

Donna likes to have a workout buddy if she attends a gym though… totally not for checking out their muscles while they demonstrate for her 😇

Donna also likes to dance, not any particular style… she just sort of does it to express herself without really speaking

Salvatore Moreau

Swimming (duh)

He likes aqua aerobics as he’s not very good at maintaining any good technique with any traditional swimming strokes

He sucks up to the instructors frequently though lmao

If he doesn’t do aerobic classes he likes to swim slow laps and tries to focus on improving his lung capacity

He also has a habit of swallowing so much water when he swims and ends up vomiting frequently

He invested in some nice flippers and a snorkel so he can swim at the beach (he is surprisingly quite afraid of strong currents and getting caught in the rip) he wants to give it a good shot one day

Karl Heisenberg

He also does weight training. He likes the feeling of metal in his hands

He frequently gets into Alcina’s space and takes weights from people without asking

He has no regard for gym etiquette whatsoever

He is the type to absolutely throw the weights up with his whole body instead of perfecting technique

He is also a grunter… he has no shame

He does call other dudes out if they’re making female patrons feel uncomfortable

Alcina still has to fight the urge to “accidentally” drop one of her weights on his foot though

Him and Ethan are incapable of using machines properly

Ethan Winters

Endurance running

He literally does marathons for fun. He’s a psychopath.

He likes hiking too and honestly has probably dragged Mia out to different tracks at some point in their relationship

If he does go to a gym… he has NO clue what he’s doing if he’s using the equipment like he just tries to guess what they’re for and ends up using them incorrectly like this:

Chris tried to teach him how to use them but Ethan is convinced you can use them any way you want

Him and Karl provide the gym patrons with entertainment for DAYS

Mia Winters:

Yoga/ Pilates mum

She’s been doing classes and her own practice since forever

She can do some pretty cool poses like her capacity to hold her own bodyweight is actually pretty crazy

She’s very sweet with new yoga participants… she gives them advice on how to improve on basic or advanced poses whenever they ask

It’s the only thing in her life that keeps her calm and collected tbh

Mother Miranda:

Jiu Jitsu

She wants to kick some ass but without all the force of kicking and punching, like getting some good submission holds in there

She likes that JiuJitsu is more of a grappling sport in this sense

She also wants to improve on her speed when she’s in the ring, she wants to make attacks look effortless so she can scare her opponents into thinking that it’s easy for her

She definitely makes her own rules however, she only likes training with anyone who is up for being a rag doll for her

Chris Redfield

Bro just does anything

He likes boxing though

He imagines that goddamn boulder scenario every time… people mock him about it and he dgaf

He has broken through many boxing bags as a result

His sparring partners dread having to fight with him because they know they’re gonna walk away with a dislocated shoulder from the massive shock absorption lmao

Rosemary Winters

She likes volleyball

She just does… all the “normal” girls at school do it so she figures it might help her situation a little bit

She is actually pretty good at it

She hates how long the practices are though, she likes it but not THAT much

She likes doing high intensity cardio classes at the gym when she’s alone

It helps her get all of her pent up teenage stress out of her system

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hathorneheiress · 4 months

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A little bit about myself.

Hello, welcome to my blog. Grab a scone and find a book (There's plenty of them!) as I take you along for a little ride.

As you know my blog name is @hathorneheiress, but if you wish to call me something else Victoria will do. She/her. I am not a minor so if anyone is uncomfortable with that then please leave. I do not stalk people, but I thought you should know.

I would consider myself a pretty easy going induvial, but disrespectful people will be blocked. I agree we all have the freedom of speech and I resect that, but if you could refrain from swearing when speaking directly to me, I would appreciate that.

An unashamed Christian. If you do not like that, then leave. I won't be beating people over the head with the Bible, but I will take a stand if I feel like it is necessary.

There is a lot of things I do not agree with, but I try very hard not to judge people. That is not my place. We all have our own opinions and choices to make. And I respect everyone's decisions, even if I don't agree with it.

Blaspheming God and being unacceptably mean to others is something I WILL NOT tolerate. If I see it, I will block you. (Giving you fair warning)

Okay!! All the boring but necessary introduction is complete!! Now to the fun stuff.

Things I like to do:

Writing. Reading. Listening to music. Swinging for hours. Working at my job. Sleeping. Enjoying a big bowl of ice cream. (Please don't judge me!) Having alone time. Scrolling through Pinterest and Tumblr. Taking care of my chickens. Talking with my family and my mutuals on here. Having a deep conversation with my besties.

Books I like to read:

The Bible. TIG. The Naturals. The Hunger Games. Murder she wrote. OUABH. Nancy Drew and hardy boys series. Royal diaries. Charles Dickens. The classics. Dictionaries and Encyclopedias. (I know, I'm weird.) Books on Egypt and England. Biographies. Bird books. Magazines. The Librarians. SHERLOCK HOLMES!!!! (I love him so much!!!!)

Movies and shows I enjoy watching:

Sherlock Holmes. Downton Abbey. Murder she wrote. The Good Doctor. The Librarians. National Treasure. NCIS. The Crown. The Titanic. Dr. Quin: medicine woman. Monk.

Artists I like:

Ava Max!! Kelly Clarkson. Taylor Swift. Sia. The piano guys. The classic composers. Beethoven.

Songs that fit me:

"Unstoppable." Sia. "Fearless." Taylor Swift. "Never give up." Sia. ""People like us." Kelly Clarkson. "So am I" Ava Max. "Weapons." Ava Max. "Moonlight sonata" Beethoven.

Random crap about me:

I'm one of the biggest Ava Max, Sherlock Holmes, Librarians, and Grayson Hawthorne fans you will ever meet.

Sherlock Holmes and Grayson are my best fictional friends. They are always there when I need them, and I love talking to them in my head. (I don't care if you find that weird.)

I have hundreds of ideas in my head for stories but I never can seem to get them on paper. I have two books in the works for getting them published.

I'm really weird. Just so you know. I talk to my chickens like they are human, and I have conversations in my head with people that don't even exist.

I'm a Pices, if anyone is interested.

I play the piano and cello.

I'm a loner and tend to keep to myself.

I'm a Librarian in training.

I have OCD and am on the autistic spectrum.

Favorite things:

Holiday: Thanksgiving.

Food: CHOCOLATE!!!

Month: October

Season: Fall.

Color: Black

Animal: Chickens!!!!!

Book: Sherlock Holmes!!

Clothes: Blazers and heels.

Jewlery: My pearls and aquamarine ring.

I have had the honor not only to be here on this site but also meet some incredible people.

My best friends are:

@riddles-n-games. Fanfic Bestie. My best Friend. Ever. I honestly have no idea how she keeps up with me. I am so so grateful she has let me into her life and I will always cherish our friendship. you truly are my better half.

@reminiscentreader. I was so honored to meet this amazing young lady and I know you would too!! I don't deserve someone as kind and caring as her. She deserves love if you haven't already given it to her.

@blocked-zombieartist. Has a gift for writing I would die to have. You make me smile and I love chatting with you about life. You are a wonderful person and I pray you have a better year.

@myster3y. Funny. Caring. Has a wonderful personality. She is so sweet. I love our weekly check ins and you make me feel appreciated. Thank you!

I love talking with people on here so don't be shy to give me a text or send an ask in my inbox!!! I would love getting to know you all better.

And here is a link to my story of Wattpad

Behind those icy blue eyes - A-very-risky-gamble - Wattpad

Please go check it out!!

Mood board for my aesthetics

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hurtyknees · 2 years

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I think Josh Sauchak is one of my favorite examples of Explicitly Autistic Characters In Media.

Obviously, he's not a *perfect* example, because at the end of the day there are still cliches he falls into (being white, cis, pretty young, etc etc etc) but IMHO he's not insufferable, or an offensive caricature (like Sheldon - even tho they have a lot of basic similarities- or Sia's Music ™).

All that being said, here are things i appreciate in the way Josh's character was made:

1. He's an actual adult.

A lot of people who are much smarter than me talked about how shitty it is to infantilize neurodivergent people. And they're right; it annoys me to no end when people who are close to The Autistic Character™ treat them like a child, with no agency of their own. WD2 doesn't do that!

(some could argue that Sitara does it. I'd disagree; It goes with how her character is set up - she cares deeply about her friends, and goes out of her way to make sure they're okay. She's protective. Not just towards Josh, but Marcus, the Unnamed Friend from the Moscow Gambit mission, off the top of my head.)

There's only one person i can think of who explicitly infantilized Josh and treated him less like a person, and more like a pet. And that's Lenny. Y'know, someone who game tried very hard to let us know we're NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE.

and - SPOILER - it did bite her in the ass at the end, didn't it?

2. He's a full, well rounded character.

I'll try to keep it short and sweet- the difference between Josh and Sheldon - the unholy staple of autistic characters - is that Josh doesn't feel flat. At least to me.

He does admit in one of the side missions that autism does have a huge impact on his personality. Now i couldn't find an exact quote, but after Marcus asks him whether or not he'd take part in the "experiments" being held that could supposedly "cure autism", Josh's answer is something along the lines of "only if I could go back from that. I like who i am, and i don't know if I'd like myself without it (the autism)".

Side note- it's genuinely so uplifting to see an autistic character and people around them not treating neurodivergency like some fucking curse. It happens way too often.

But yeah, going back to the point- Josh has a full, fleshed out personality. He's passionate, self aware, can be absolutely hilarious, and doesn't let other people walk over him. But he also holds himself to very high standards, and can be really harsh on himself if he doesn't meet them.

3. How he's treated by others.

I touched on that briefly before, but i simply love every interaction Josh has with others.

They treat him so normally, that in media where neurodivergent people are more often than not treated like aliens this felt extremely refreshing.

Dedsec members don't baby him as mentioned above, but they also don't get mad when he doesn't understand something, or - in his head - fucks something up.

(And honestly, that applies to everyone in Dedsec. I was so scared that the writers are gonna go for the lowest hanging fruit- do something that will make the group temporarily fall apart. But they didn't. Not when Marcus had his big fuckup at !nvite, not when Ray showed up. They stuck together. And didn't dwell on each other's mistakes.)

TLDR; it fascinates me to no end how media that treat themselves so insanely seriously fail at being inclusive, but Watch Dogs 2 - the game that took a giant U-turn from being that, after seeing how first game was received - has had some of the most genuine, heartfelt, casual representation I've seen in a long time.

Again, it's not perfect. But it's honest and down to earth. It didn't treat marginalized communities it included instrumentally.

I just love this game so much.

#watch dogs #watch dogs 2 #watch dogs legion #josh sauchak #Josh watch dogs #Josh watch dogs 2 #watch dogs Josh #wrench #watch dogs wrench #sitara dhawan #marcus holloway #wrencus

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dontcallmeeds · 1 year

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Okay so I just started watching Heartbreak High and I have only seen opinions of the show on tiktok NOT on here because I just got into the show so plssss bare with me if this point has been made on here because god I love and respect tumblr opinions wayyy more than tiktok.

So, my favorite character so far is Quinni. As someone with autism, Chloé really gave it her all as someone with audhd to give us a truly authentic and relateable character. I even decided that she’s gonna be a lot of my work makeup inspiration because her looks are SO fun and I love incorporating jewels/stars/glitter into my looks as is.

SO! My opinion I want to share after only watching a little bit of the show so far has to come with the explanation of I saw a ton of tiktoks when it first came out that “it’s not in Sasha’s character to be ableist”. Ummm did those people even watch the show???

Sasha makes fun of a kid with an autoimmune disorder calling him “bubble boy”. When Quinni says it’s kinda rude she’s like “not if I don’t say it to his face.” Okay???? Girllll.

And then at the party where she’s all “but I’ve met other people with autism and you’re like really emotionally intelligent.” Quinni literally clocks her ableism by calling her Sia. But Sasha drags her back in and convinces her she needs to do research.

Do you know how many partners/friends I’ve had who were super sneaky ableists? Idk, I haven’t finished the show and had to rewatch episode 2, but it is 1000% her character. It’s okay if you like Sasha, her character just reminds me of my exes/ex best friends way way too much.

#I’m sorry this is long winded i really like this show and all the characters!#i don’t want to dog on anyone who likes Sasha #heartbreak high #quinni my beloved #quinni gallagher jones #quinni heartbreak high #quinni and sasha #sasha heartbreak high #ableism #autism #asd #chloe hayden

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elisysd · 3 months

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59. I don't ask for much, gimme love

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Gimme Love - Sia

Julia would have loved to stay with Ethan a little more but he had a few meetings to intend to and didn’t know exactly when he would be back. She had come back to her room and changed before texting Romy to know if she wanted to come for a movie after her duties. The blonde had yet to reply but it didn’t worry Julia, she knew she was busy. She took a well needed shower before preparing everything. She even had the time for a quick chat with her brother. She realized it was starting to get late and she had no news from Romy, worry settled in her. She was about to text her once again to know if she was still up for the movie when she heard a loud bang on her door and her best friend storming in the room when she opened her door. She didn’t straight away notice the tears streaming down on Romy’s face but when she did, she didn’t ask questions and took her in her arms. It was the last straw for the German driver who broke down in Julia’s embrace.

“I… I think Kyle and I are over.”

“What? What do you mean, you are over? What happened?”

“Kyle asked me to marry him and I said no.”

Julia felt the need to sit, forcing her best friend to do the same.

“Okay, tell me what happened exactly.”

“I broke his heart, Julia, there is nothing more to explain.”

“But… I don’t understand… you love him? You told me you wanted a family with him… I assumed that marrying him was on your list. Fine, maybe not that soon, but one day…”

“Because it doesn’t come from love! Do you know how he proposed? If I can even call that proposing… I came back from Audi's meeting and I was getting ready to meet you when he knocked. He was fidgety and it didn’t really come as a surprise, he fucked up his quali. You know that a P8 for him is like finishing last. I tried to calm him down, to say that it wasn’t the worst, that he could come out on top, Vegas is made for that. He looked me dead in the eye and said that he wasn’t racing tomorrow. That he didn’t say to the doctor before quali that his migraines came back and that it was getting worse. That he was terrified of losing his eyesight. And that he wanted to marry me tonight because at least he would be able to see me. Not even an I love you, just I want to see you in white before losing everything. That’s…..selfish!”

Romy took her head between her hands and cried some more. Julia felt powerless. She threw an arm around her best friend’s shoulders to pull her against her.

“He loves you Romy. He loves you so much. He is scared to lose you more than anything.”

“I love him too. It’s just… I want to marry him. One day. Not today. I’m not ready and I don’t want to do it out of fear. We will regret it.”

“Did you tell him?” Julia asked.

“No… I just told him that I couldn’t and I left.” Romy admitted sheepishly.

“Romy! If there is one thing that I learned from Ethan’s and I breakup it’s to not run away without explanation! It will make them freak out!”

“I know! I messed up, I panicked, okay? Gosh… what did I do?”

“Call him. Or at least text him, to let him know that you’re okay.”

She felt the blonde nodding before standing up, taking her phone out of her pocket to text Kyle. Meanwhile, Julia took the opportunity to boil some water for tea. Once done and once Romy finally managed to calm down, they sat down on the bed with their hot tea.

“Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone…” Romy asked.

“You don’t even have to ask.”

But as soon as Romy hit her pillow, sleep and emotional exhaustion from the day caught up to her. Julia put the cover on her best friend and slowly and without making any noise left her. Her first instinct was to go to Ethan. If someone might have heard about the situation it might have been him. She hoped he wasn’t sleeping. She would feel bad to disturb him. When she arrived in front of his door, she knocked and she backed down when the door opened immediately and closed soon after.

“Sorry…” he apologized, noticing her surprised expression. “Kyle’s in there.” he added.

“In the same emotional state as Romy, I guess.”

“If by emotional state, you mean a mess, then yeah. I swear I could fill up a bottle with only his tears.”

“He screwed up. In a very cute way.”

“I know. It was a stupid idea. I know it’s Vegas and it might have been fitting in other circumstances but telling him to marry him just because he wants to see her when he’ll say ‘I do’ was not the best way to propose. I tried to tell him that maybe he is overreacting with his eyesight. That maybe, just like the doctor said, it will stabilize at some point and he won’t turn entirely blind but he is obsessed with the idea that he could. No matter how low the chances might get.” Ethan sighed.

“Romy is sure he will want to break up, now…”

“No way in hell. Kyle made his choice a long time ago. He chose Romy. And Kye is probably the most loyal guy I’ve come across. That’s not for no reason Ludwig and I call him the golden retriever. Once he has decided that you were his friend, he doesn’t change his mind. It’s for life. If Romy didn’t give up on him when he told her about his eyes, then nothing will make him break up with her unless she decides otherwise. She is the one who is in control. How is she?”

“She is sleeping but yeah… she is no better than him. But it also has been a tough few weeks for her, for Kyle too I’m not saying it was not. It’s just… she lost a baby. Apparently it didn’t go well with Kyle’s parents and…” she was interrupted by Ethan’s laughs. “What?”

“Of course it couldn’t go well. Kyle is from Kentucky and his parents were clearly not the richest. He grew up in a farm. It’s everything Romy hates.”

“Hey, she grew up on a farm too!”

“Not the same kind, Joolsie.”

She shrugged. He leaned against the wall before sitting on the floor, as she did the same. He let his head slightly bang against the beige surface, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before finally looking at her.

“That’s not nice, though… kicking you out of your own bed when you start on pole tomorrow. Are you sure it’s not his strategy?”

“That would be a mean one. And he didn’t kick me out. I could totally sleep in the bed if I wanted, even if he is there. I’ve done it in the past. Plenty of times. With Ludwig too. Sometimes it was us three in the same bed. Good times.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Oh no, you don’t.” he winked at her, trying to make her blush on purpose.

They kept on talking for a while until Julai noticed that Ethan was starting to get really tired and her as well.

“You should go to sleep, you have a race to win tomorrow.”

“True. One that is not the race to your heart.” he joked, trying to repress a yawn.

“You won that one a long time ago, dummy.” she playfully punched his shoulder as he embraced her in a hug.

As she was about to leave him, not without a kiss on the cheek, he shyly asked.

“You’ll watch the whole race, right?”

“Until the very end.”

Las Vegas had always been a race that Julia loved to hate. The sparkles, the events, the VIPs were replacing the interest of the race when the track was a very good one. Somehow, she was glad to spend the race in Audi’s hospitality, it wasn’t as crowded as other hospitalities. She knew Ferrari and Lamborghini were getting the most prestigious VIPs and she was glad to at least have a little somewhere where cameras wouldn’t film her. Unfortunately for her, as she was about to enter the Audi’s facility, she was stopped by a Sky Sport journalist shoving his microphone and the camera to her face.

“And we are here with Miss Julia Leclerc. After being laid off by Ferrari, did you decide to give Audi a try?”

“Well… first off, I’m not being laid off, we reached a mutual agreement saying that for personal reasons it would be better for me to start working for Ferrari in two years. Second, I’m here to support my best friend.”

“Romy Schumacher starts right behind Ethan Verstappen, your ex-boyfriend. We saw you watching qualifying yesterday from his garage, did you rekindle an old flame? For whom your heart is beating tonight?”

“For the best driver. Thank you.”

She hated the implicit judgment in those questions, it was so unprofessional from them. She had always hated journalists and they didn’t even bother to try to show her that she could change her mind. She smiled at the staff present there and sat in a corner of the room, taking out her sketchbook to draw. For some reason, the Eiffel Tower was what popped into her mind. She smiled at the memory. It was dear to her. It was so special. She took her necklace between her thumb and pointer fingers and looked at the replica of her dad’s trophy. She had never taken it off. Not even when she had been with Martin, which should have been a clear indicator that her feelings for Ethan were way stronger than what she wanted to admit to herself.

“What are you thinking about?” Romy’s voice startled her.

“How stupid I’ve been about Ethan.”

“I’m not going to tell you otherwise.”

“Have you been able to see Kyle?” Julia carefully asked.

“Yeah… we made up. Kinda. I mean… he didn’t really let me talk. If you know what I mean.”

“I have an idea, yeah.”

“We will have to talk, though. We have many things to discuss. Like… I’m thinking of something. It’s a big step but I want him to move in with me. I have a big house, easy to rearrange for it to be more convenient for him. It’s quiet, peaceful. It has an amazing view of the mountains… What do you think?” The blond shyly asked her friend.

“Romy! That’s amazing! That’s a huge step, for sure. But you are meant to be, it’s only logical.”

“I guess I’m just scared because it means that next year we will truly be together twenty-four on seven.”

“You will have a break on race weekends.”

“Well, no… gosh, you don’t know!” Romy exclaimed.

“I don’t know what?”

“Kyle wants to do one last year in F1 before retiring. He doesn’t feel confident in a car anymore and he decided to race for Audi. He doesn’t want the pressure of the championship. He wants to race for fun and he wants to have me as his teammate…. I thought Ethan would have told you.”

“Kyle is going to retire…. that's news I’ve never thought I would hear this soon. I mean, I understand it’s just a shock. He is going to leave with three world championships under his belt, it’s nice. Does he know what he wants to do after?”

“Support me. He said he would turn to my personal handyman.” she smiled at the thought.

“Who is going to replace him in Lambo, then?”

Romy shrugged.

“It’s not my problem and to be honest I don’t care. I would love to keep on chatting with you but I have a win to snatch from your ex-boyfriend. Or is it boyfriend now? Soon-to-be boyfriend? I can’t keep up with you guys, you have to make a choice.”

Julia laughed, shaking slightly her head as she saw her best friend leaving her. Soon, the race was about to start and she decided to go to the garage. It was stupid to stay hidden there when everyone knew she was an Audi’s guest. As soon as the lights went out, Julia understood it would be a close race. Romy was determined to overtake Ethan, even if she had to play dirty and Ethan didn’t want to let her. Julia could only hope they wouldn’t be stupid enough to ruin their chances. It was close until, sadly, Ludwig sent his car in the barriers, and the safety car arrived on track. She heard Audi frustrated sighs in the garage as they had pitted her right before the yellow flag. Julia felt a little bad for her friend, especially after hearing the torrent of insults coming out of her mouth on the radio. But she couldn’t help but smile when she saw Maserati’s brilliantly executed double pit-stop. Chloe was leading the race, followed by Ethan.

They were racing amazingly together, helping each other out when they could in an attempt to increase the gap between them and Romy who had managed to get back in third place. The more the laps went by the more Julia could dream of a Maserati double podium, the first one in their history. Words of encouragement were screamed in the garage for Romy but hers were for the car number thirty-two that had just managed to take back the first place, five laps before the checkered flag. When there were two laps to go and it was clear for everyone that it would be a Maserati’s win, she slowly made her way out of the garage to approach the team. They were preparing to rush to wait for their drivers. She was about to stay in a corner, when Ethan’s physiotherapist noticed her and told her to come to the front.

Finally, she saw the cars entering the last straight line. A quick look to the giant screens indicated to her that it was Ethan who was still leading and her heartbeat increased to the point she thought it was going to leap out of her chest. The fresh air hit her nose but her cheeks were burning. She felt happy and she could get used to that feeling. When they waved the checkered flag the whole team started to hug and scream in her ears. She was pulled into warm embraces from left to right but didn’t mind it.

When Ethan finally parked his car and jumped out of it to run to his team she saw a slight shift in his attitude and she knew he had noticed her. Her thought was soon confirmed when she was the first one he took in his arms, almost crushing her against the barriers. She heard his voice but was unable to understand what he was saying. She knew the cameras were on them but she didn’t care, all that mattered was him. She raised his visor to see his glossy blue eyes.

“You stayed. You’re here.” he said.

“Of course. I promised you.”

She saw him hesitating to leave, looking lost. When he finally was rushed to go to the cool down room, he quickly kissed her knuckles and winked at her. The podium celebrations went on in a blur, she quickly snapped a picture, thinking a mostly feminine podium had a nice look. When champagne arrived she quickly escaped to make her way to Ethan’s driver room.

It was the best scenario she had imagined, Ethan winning, on cloud nine and her giving him a gift she had spent countless hours perfecting. Her hands were sweaty. She hoped he would like it, she hoped he wouldn’t find it stupid, she hoped it would convey everything she was feeling for him and more. She sat on the couch and retrieved it from her bag before putting it down on the coffee table. Now she just had to wait.

Fortunately for her, she didn’t have to wait for long as soon the door opened, revealing Ethan, his head down and out of breath. And when he saw her, his smile intensified as he rushed to her, trying to make her spin but failing as the room was not made for that. Instead, he kept her close to him, savoring the instant.

“For a moment, I thought you had left. I ran as fast as I could to change so I could see you.”

“I promised you I would stay.”

“I know, it’s just… It’s still hard for me to fully believe you, I think.” he confessed.

“Well, I have something for you that maybe will help you believe it.”

She led him to the couch, showing him the present. He gave her a weird look before unwrapping it to find a huge book that looked like a photo album.

“It’s a scrapbook. I made it myself. It’s filled with a lot of personal things.”

Shyly he started to open it. He recognised pieces of a vision board he knew well to have made one, years ago, when they were in the same class. The bright red dream to work with her dad was surrounded by little doodles of what he noticed were related to him. His first helmet, his first kart, his first trophy. Under each of the little doodles was written the age she had drawn them. Eighth, twelve years old, thirteen and so on. He kept on discovering the pages, smiling at pictures of what seemed to be memories of her life when she was younger. Happy ones. He looked at her, eyes full of questions.

“Keep reading. I’ll explain later.”

He thought his heart was going to stop when he saw the next pictures. Julia and Louis. The karting day. The frame he had thrown against a wall and the picture he had to cut in half. With a shaking hand he brushed it, trying to memorize the lines of their faces. He thought he would never see it again. He had deleted the original picture on his phone. And then were pictures of each track they had gone to and pictures of them, more and more present as they had grown closer. They were still surrounded with sketches, but the captions were not the same. It was his eyes at first, then his lips, his nose, and his eyes and nose, his nose and lips until a full portrait. That’s when she made him look at her.

“Before you discover the last page, I wanted to tell you what it meant exactly. You’ve always been a part of me, for longer than I’ve thought. You’ve always been there, wandering in the corner of my mind. Taking a lot of space. You’re a part of me. This scrapbook encompasses all that I am. All that I ever was and all that I long to be. It’s a small zoom on my life. A life I want to share with you. It felt right to give that to you. Keep your time to look at everything. I've been writing little stupid anecdotes here and there. There are many things to find out and when you’ll have seen everything, I hope you’ll understand that I’m serious when it comes to us. I want to make another scrapbook in a few years but this time filled with what we are. Because I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I want to share everything with you. If only you let me. Now, here comes the last page.”

The last page was a copy of her bucket list but right next to it was glued a little package. He carefully opened it to take a red bracelet he knew very well.

“It’s yours.”

“Julia…. It's a family heirloom… I can’t accept it. It holds such a special place in your family history…”

“You’re family. You’re the family I’m choosing. You’re the family I will always choose. I’m not going anywhere, not now and not ever. I’m done running away. I’m done self sabotaging, I’m done pretending, I’m done playing. It’s you and me. And I’m sorry it took me so long, I’m sorry I broke your heart, I’m sorry I thought I wasn’t enough for you, I’m sorry about a lot of things. But I’m not sorry to love you with everything that I am and will be. So, please, take it.”

He put it around his wrist before locking his gaze with hers. She was calmly smiling, her breathing was even and if her eyes were glossy, she was still serene. Confident. Happy. She was metaphorically giving herself to him in a way he had never thought she would. He took her hands in his, at a loss of words and only shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Julia… I ….”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

He caressed her cheek, moving away a few strands of hair before looking at her lips.

“If I don’t have to say something, maybe I can still show you what I’m feeling right now.” he said, leaning it, dying to feel her lips on his but was quickly stopped by her firm hand on his chest.

“Nope. The next time you’ll kiss me, I want it to be special. Like really special and for that I need you to be a little bit more patient.”

“You’re trying to kill me. Tell me, what have you planned?”

“As if I was going to tell you. You’ll see. Soon.”

She kissed his cheek, lingering a little more than necessary, making him even more flustered. But when she left, Ethan knew. Their right time had arrived. They were ready. She was ready. And a part of him was curious to see what else she had planned to do.

Author's note: And here you have the penultimate chapter.... Friday will be the climax of Gold Rush. =(

What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

#writing #fiction #charles leclerc #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x oc #charles leclerc fanfic #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen

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