#^ he has experienced the mortifying ordeal of being known

[alcorian]

me getting all huffy when people call me an AL-V kinnie as if thats not exactly what i am

#^ he has experienced the mortifying ordeal of being known #and hes mad about it #the alcor virus #transcendence au #alv posts

[vaguely-concerned]

Happy Grace/Pan Vibes For The Soul

"How can I, with you in the way?"/"(Laughs) The floor is yours!"

First of all I'm honestly just so charmed by how genuinely delighted Pan seems to be at watching Grace finding her voice and learning to enjoy using her power, I think that's where I started to take a shine to him. (also seems quite central to his character/romance in general because it's a thing that recurs through their relationship -- he tells her "I'm enjoying it if you're enjoying it" straight out at one point and that's definitely always there in the subtext). He buys a music studio for her just in case she ever wants to return to making music again even when she's not the muse anymore just because he loves her singing and has seen it make her happy before, how is that not the sweetest goddamn thing in the world??? Pan and Oracle in shared first place as stans for Grace musically

For real though, 'I Can Teach You' is sooo... even when you don't join forces with him Pan teaches Grace so many things in that song, it's a thematic tutorial as well as a gameplay one in many ways. For me I think the most impactful subtexts are 'This is a tricky situation, change is here and it's difficult, but you have more control and agency here than you think' ("You're in control!" "It's your song!"), and this sense that, y'know... there can be joy and playfulness and discovery in setting out into the unknown, not just fear and uncertainty.

dude... I wanna be in cahoots with & sing playful duets with you for the rest of my life bro (amorous intent)

Pros: Hell yeah look at her go! 🥰

Cons: Uh-oh look at her go! 😬

I love that Grace can bring Pan's motif into 'Challenging A Queen' and be called the fuck out by Persephone btw. why u keepin' your guard up girl uwu

'you gave up the only thing worth having -- for your little mortal friend' he says, giving up everything for his little once-again-mortal friend literally the next day fhsdkjfhsad who are you fooling buddy? not even yourself at this point surely??? (dialogue for if you save Freddie by giving up the eidolon)

my observations on the grace/pan dynamic across the different personality traits (yes I've done a run of each romancing him I am normal about it):

Clever!Grace: Pan seems to set out to be a trickster mentor of sorts, and Clever!Grace flips the uno reverse card on him and goes ‘Not if I trickster mentor you first bitch be honest about your feelings or perish challenge engage’. Probably the most birds of a feather combination (and indeed it’s the Blue version of the soundtrack that shows off his romance — also his tie and glasses are on the cover for that one :) ). 

Charming!Grace: Performative puppy dog eyes-off whenever either of them wants to get their way. 🥺4🥺. Pan is provably a soft touch from the Charming option to find Persephone before Challenging A Queen so I feel he probably tends to buckle faster but it’s a close thing. Local trickster god completely disarmed by someone being nice to him.

Kickass!Grace: “Be real with me or Imma kick your ass”/”Promise? ;)”/"...>:)"

I am always thinking about the way he steps up in The Trial when romanced (and the way it's the only one where Athena is genuinely shocked and appalled fhskadj). there is something about him that's like... he keeps protesting against 'innocent' and he's probably right haha, but there is certainly an almost fundamental lack of any active malice there that he doesn't fully admit to himself or to grace until this moment. he is doing this for grace, but it is also a confession about something really deep in himself that seems to be very vulnerable for him in its sincerity -- that he really doesn't mean to or more importantly want to cause harm (I don't wanna dance/with blood on my hands). admitting to his own basically good heart finally seems to be the bigger, scarier thing for him, more than facing the prospect of dying. he's experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known and I for one am so proud of him

"I'm just here for the dance"

the way he sings that just to her and completely changes the meaning of it from what he said with it before, from using it to keep her out to inviting her in...

also can you imagine how badly the kill bill sirens must be going off in Grace's head in all variations of this scene no matter who steps up, considering what happened to Freddie just days before....... oof!

*incensed whisper* are you fucking kidding me with this what am I supposed to do with myself here

love these too

I really like the visual repeats of crossing the pond to the tree and back as a metaphor for them getting closer (or rather, him letting her closer, it is very much His Space). he retreats back there towards the end of 'Share This Dance', and that's the point where Grace puts her foot down and essentially says 'no. you come meet me honestly in the middle this time or this isn't happening'. and in 'The Trial' he does and then some!

I meant what I sang. I'm not a good man. If Athena had taken me up on my offer, the Idols would have been better off But I can try to be better. You make me want to try.

fun fact: if you break up with him after The Trial (YEAH you can still break off the romances at that point! it's wild honestly fsjadk), Grace tells him he should try to be better ‘for himself’ not for her... and he calls that (i.e. himself) ‘not much of an incentive’. My guy don’t make me break out the ‘Have you tried therapy’ prompt again. He takes it very calmly and gracefully under the circumstances but he's also like. quietly resigned and subdued. I tried it once for Science and never will again but there you go I bring my knowledge to this altar of sadness lol

you see the thing is I would forgive him for just about anything too I understand why so many of the characters in-game can't stay mad at him for any length of time

he starts the game by asking her to take his hand and he ends it on asking her to take his hand (and she does)...

:') let's share this dance

#stray gods #stray gods pan #stray gods grace #grace x pan #better late than never! I said I would make this post and by god I meant it I love these two with all my soul #stray gods meta

[the-furthest-city-light]

This post is relates to the current chapters in my Fem!Luffy AU, so read if you want but feel free to scroll.

Sanji has this thing about masculinity and machismo born from a combination of a childhood spent being ridiculed for having emotions and being a Normal Human, and then being raised on the Baratie, which is full of guys who are kind but similarly gruff. He doesn't express vulnerability easily, and he's used to showing he cares in indirect ways that avoids the mortifying ordeal of being known so to speak, especially in relation to other men, and especially men his own age.

I think Sanji by nature of his weird chauvinism would view Luffy as a figure of respect much more quickly than he does Lucy. While he likes her and is probably kinder to her than he was Luffy to start, it’s probably not until around the end of Arlong Park in my fic where Sanji really gets it in his head that Lucy’s in charge and worthy of following, as opposed to the fight on the Baratie in canon. He's just never in his life experienced and trusted himself to a capable female authority figure before, and Luffy, being a guy, would be a much easier and more natural model of leadership for Sanji, regardless of Luffy/Lucy's similarities in personality.

By the time Whole Cake Island comes around, Sanji is on board with Lucy's leadership 100%. He's exactly as loyal to her as he is to Luffy. But since Sanji's conflict in Whole Cake Island centers around his emotional turmoil and his own long-buried trauma and fear, I think Lucy would have a distinct advantage in dealing with it from Luffy. By virtue of Luffy being a guy, Sanji puts on a pretty strong front throughout their various interactions in the arc. He’s not someone who likes to be vulnerable in general, but around other guys (especially Zoro) it’s really obvious that he’s someone who fronts with machismo and aims for stoicism he doesn’t actually feel.

I’m convinced that when confronted with the same emotional turmoil before Lucy, he would actually express that emotion more honestly and openly.  She's his captain and his friend yes, so he still feels that sense of loyalty and need for honesty, but she's also a girl. The need to front masculinity isn't there. For Sanji, women have always been sources of emotional comfort and a safe place to express himself, and I don’t think that would change just because she’s a kind of authority figure, especially when they have so much history proving Lucy's trustworthiness.

I do think Lucy's position as a female authority figure/friend in Sanji's life would do interesting things to his psyche following Whole Cake Island. I think he'd probably view her more fraternally than he was previously, or than he does with Nami and Robin, who are decidedly Women to Sanji, though of course the three of them are friends. I don't think his behavior would necessarily change much, but the way he thinks about her, possibly.

I initially started writing this AU because I was interested in how Luffy/Lucy's gender would affect their personal development, and to reflect more severely/honestly some of the dangers depicted in the one piece world. Sanji and Usopp have always been the characters I have the hardest time dealing with in this fic for different reasons, but with Sanji specifically it's because he's so weird about women that it's hard to imagine him respecting one enough to follow her the way he does Luffy. It's been fun to write scenes depicting why Lucy's gender is an advantage to her leadership rather than a hindrance, especially when it features Sanji.

New chapter to be posted in a bit :)

#one piece #luffy #sanji #fanfic #me talking #meta #whole cake island #whole cake arc

[leglessstreetlights]

-*Slides in*- So, what inspired you to shove three Leos in an wasteland?

-*Leans in and shouts over the sounds of an intense game of uno*- The idea of a future Leo being confronted by two different stages of his past, of present Leo coming to terms with where he came from and where he could have ended up, and of past Leo being shown two different potential futures for himself, all the while they are experiencing the Mortifying Ordeal of being Known, except instead of judgement its a resounding echo of "i cannot find it in me to love myself, but i can love you instead, and hope that it's close enough" because they Know each other, because they Are each other, despite the fact that their stories are different, despite the fact that they all came from different times, they are of the same tree, and the ancient oak still has rings from when it was young

Oh shit wait, you only meant the wasteland? idk man, i just didn't want any of them to be comfortable, level playing ground and all that, y'know?

#asks and screams #three sided coin #three sided coin au

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Thoughts Vol. 2 Pt. 2

This is actually just miscellaneous reactions I had while reading that I don't want to clog the tag with. Hope it's at least a little funny.

Not for long I bet... (look at them. so squishy...)

Oof. I um. Hm. This means something, I just can't place it right now.

I adore how perceptive Milly is. I just adore her in general. Actually there's something to be said about Milly as the observer in this series. Meryl is knocked out for much of the ensuing fight against Monev but Milly witnesses all of it. She's also frequently the first to look out a window or to notice things in her environment. Hm. Really interesting.

Knives' face being shadowed is so so good. It's similar to my commentary in Stampede about how the camera doesn't really focus on young Nai in the early flashbacks so you don't see his face a lot at first.

Vash's awkward smile. Meryl immediately trying to backtrack. I am experiencing secondhand embarrassment. Girl. Please.

He looks like a jojo character. Actually, I'm super intrigued by Legato. He's really interesting. I wish to study him under a microscope. (Every time someone mentions "blue hair" my brain automatically finishes it with "and pronouns" sjfhbdfh)

He's so cute. He wants your money.

This entire scene is so sweet, what the heck???

And now, for a transcript of my live reaction to the page after this: "Yes! See through him! The mortifying ordeal of being known! Get perceived idio- WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS SPINE???"

I'm a little sad about Dominique. She was cool. Also I'm enjoying the way anyone wearing a coat or cloak, regardless of gender, is drawn as. Basically a rectangle. Hjhfvjdfh. This isn't a judgement I really do like it a lot.

Wolfwood :(

Huh. Knives' literal rebirth is making me. Uncomfortable. :)

(Season 2 of Stampede should definitely give him the long hair here though...)

Meryl cares him so much. GOOD.

Ooh! About the whole "it was the first time he called me by my name" part, it actually wasn't! Vash said her name during the Monev fight but because Meryl was unconscious, she didn't hear it! I think, given how avoidant Vash is, it says a lot that he went from not referring to most people by name to singling out Meryl and Milly and telling them to run because, like it or not, they as individuals (beyond being members of humanity he swore to protect) have become personally important to him.

Did. Did Legato just get squished???

Oh my god no no no leave my boy alone

UNCOMFORTABLE. STOP.

NOOOOOOO :'(((

I have a few thoughts regarding Wolfwood watching all of that happen... but I kind of want to wait for a bit before I comment on it.

The fifth moon thing was incredibly disturbing in the way it played out... Knives' genuine sorrow at seeing that Vash has more scars. Vash rightfully calling him out for hurting him more. Knives immediately switching to blaming Vash for July and implying that he fucking shoot himself if he wants someone to pay what the fuck. Vash showing clear signs of trauma (freezing, loss of memory, panic, anger). Knives grabbing his face and restraining him while forcing his arm to transform. Everyone else trying desperately to get away. Vash crying and having no clue what is happening to his own body. Holy fuck. This is downright horrific.

Uhhh. On to Trimax I guess. I'm sure things can only get better...

#...i can't believe legato got squished. rip dude. that really sucks. #i am giving vash a blanket and some donuts :( #trigun #trigunbookclub #storyrambles

[finchy4077]

MASH asks :D

* what’s one of your favourite m*a*s*h episodes & why? —"Deal Me Out" is the ultimate comfort episode for me. Every line hits, every transition is flawless, Sidney and Sam are a fucking lethal combination. It gets my brain buzzing about headcanons—it's a more subtle "Hawkeye is having one of his depressive lows" episode where his lethargy is clicked on almost the whole time, I'm fascinated by how comfortably Hawk and Sidney interact even though this is supposedly one of Sidney's first few times being there, etc. Shout out also to "Crisis" and "Your Hit Parade" for being other frequent comfort watches.

* who’s your favourite character? who’s the character you relate most to? why? —Ahh, BJ is the ultimate favorite as well as the one I relate to the most. Unfortunately for him, I imprinted on him and Peg and their relationship during one of the worst periods of my life where I saw a lot of what I was experiencing at the time in both of them, and it gave me a safe place to hunker down and process everything so that I could emerge from that period far better than I was when I went in. He can't escape now. There's no use, I've locked all the doors.

* what’s one of your favourite head-canons? —Oh man. I have extremely unique interpretations of a lot of the characters as compared to fanon, and I own that, so a lot of my headcanons are nowhere near universal :) I'll say the one I came up with that got me most out of my mind was Sidney spending a year as a visiting psychiatry professor while Hawk was in med school, and them initially meeting that way (purely based on Hawk's joking comment in Edwina of "According to my three psychology classes, two of which I cut..." and me going "Hmm, I wonder what made that third class different enough that you stuck around.").

* what’s your favourite ship/ships? —Anybody who knows anything about me knows that I am the resident I Ship Everything loudmouth, and I am on a quest to write it all to boot, so this is the most evil question you could ask me. If I have to sum it up, my top ship is BJ/Peg/Hawk, my guilty pleasure ship is BJ/Peg/Hawk/Trap, and the runners-up are BJ/Margaret, BJ/Sidney, Sidney/Sam, Trapper/Margaret/Hawkeye, BJ/Leo—you know what, really any BJ/Character ship, but add Hawkeye to it as well. I am not much one for monogamy, as we see haha.

* what’s your favourite m*a*s*h fanfic? —Anything at all by my friend Canon. "With All My Cynical Heart" is a Trapper/Hawk that has become my preferred idea of when the two of them first hook up. I always have to give a shout out to "a crash course in fellatio on the edge of a mine field" because it was my first Sidney/BJ fic I read, it made an entire fic universe spawn in my head, and it was also one of the first times we connected one-on-one over something so exciting to us. And of course if someone is a Sidney/Hawkeye enjoyer and they have NOT read "Insanity in the service of health," they are missing out on an incredible magnum opus.

* what’s your favourite piece of m*a*s*h fan art? —I am biased because @saltseashark has done some incredible sketches of moments from my fics or just little ideas that bubbled up out of my head!! This is one from one of my BJ/Leo fics, for example; as soon as I saw it, I wanted to chew a hole through my wall. But also a wonderful friend drew me a multi-page BJ/Sidney/Hawkeye comic for a holiday exchange last year and I cried very real tears over it. I'm still kind of jealously guarding the whole thing close to my chest just for me right now, but I posted a page of it here. It's fucking gorgeous.

* have you met/had correspondence with/received a letter from any of the cast? —Extremely well-timed question because I just mailed off a letter to Mike on Monday. Help. But I needed him to know the role he played in getting me through that aforementioned difficult period, so I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I didn't send it :) The mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. Thanks for these questions!! They were super fun!

AAAH! i’m so sorry i didn’t see this until now!

- i LOVE sidney!!! i see why ‘deal me out’ is a favourite. i’m in the midst of a rewatch so i only vaguely remember “your hit parade” but i’m excited to see it again :’)))

- BEEJ!!!!! oh how i love that cheesy mustache <333 m*a*s*h has definitely gotten me through some really difficult times too, there’s something comforting about a character you love dealing with something you’ve also dealt with. i’m glad they’ve been a comfort. (hawkeye’s had some troubles with his ol noggin similar in vein to what i’ve experienced and i think that’s why tragic funny man has imprinted himself on my heart).

- that headcanon would make a lot of sense given how familiarly and comfortably they interact from very early on in the series - it’s not a headcanon i’ve heard before but it’s one that i like & makes sense to my brain 👀

- honestly i really think given the nature of war & intensity of everyone’s experience at the 4077th, monogamy doesn’t make as much contextual sense to me - how could you not be so incredibly bonded to each other through that experience? and in the same light, that experience doesn’t take away from the love you have with others/back home/etc. bj/hawk/peg is a perfect example of that for me <33

- thank you so much i’m going to add these to my read list, i’m especially excited for insanity in the service of health - sidney/hawkeye has really grown on me. ALSO?!? such beautiful artwork!!!!

- well i hope the mortifying ordeal of being known turns into the delight of being seen, and that you hear back from mike!!

(random sidenote… before i found mashblr, i was on ao3 reading A Lot of fanfic. you are honestly my favourite writer. i got so excited checking back every sunday! midnight trepidations, hell the whole of some things are evergreen has my heart and soul! i’m excited to see where you take it <333 )

[leadendeath]

i don't want to reblog the post because my commentary is not relevant to the subject, so i didn't want to put this in said post's tags. also as i type it turned into a long...? something. vent maybe? i don't even know what to refer to it as. but i've seen a couple of posts recently that have really got me thinking.

as i'm writing this, they both just appeared on my dash. they are this one and this one. i'm definitely going to post this now (i have to) and not just save it in my drafts forever.

Having sex with friends sounds nice! I am pro-that! (pro meaning not anti) for me it would alleviate my fears of hooking up with those I just met or haven't known for years because friends are less likely to murder/kidnap you or give you a disease! (I do not want to die from sex lmao) the con: now they know what i look like and what bodily/physical problems i have that aren't visible to the general public. no. i can't have sex with my friends. my god. it all boils down to my body dysmorphia. literally the mortifying ordeal of it being known

So I think again, like I often do, about my place on the ace spectrum. I usually do not care for labels, don't find them necessary to apply to myself, but it's totally cool if other people have tons of different labels that they use. I am pro-that too! I myself am definitely grey-ace or demi-something. I landed on aegosexual- a disconnect between yourself and your sexual attraction- for a long time. I am never sexually or romantically attracted to somebody I don't know. Not even people on the screen. What if that hot (definition for this context: visually appealing) actor is a dick? Good looks garbage personality? At least you can do research on him. Not the case with "irl contacts" (definition: non-famous and real people who you might actually meet or know in person).

I know that I definitely experience sexual attraction, and want to have sex. Based on that I don't feel quite right calling myself asexual.

I don't LIKE that I feel too bad about experiencing sexual attraction to act on it. There's this weird feeling that's hard to place, but closest to "guilt", I'd say. Disgust with myself.

That time I was propositioned to go back to a con hotel (i turned him down and he listened and respected me and was nice, it's just i stopped myself), or that other time when making out and groping (different guy different occasion; we could've gone further but i stopped myself), or even just flirting and talking about our turn-ons and things we Like with my long-distance online sort-of bf that I had. I'm even hesitating to follow the "after dark" art accounts that I want to follow on bird site because of the guilt and almost embarassment I feel at myself (I'm fully aware that the only reason most people have locked accounts which you have to request to follow is to keep out minors and trolls btw, and i'm certainly neither of those!).

All of this is stuff I want and that's enjoyable to me, but this nagging "don't do that. you're gross. why would you say/do that? you're being weird. stop. stop. stop. you're not allowed to do these things." is always there in my mind. I don't want it to be there, and it's always there.

Now, this doesn't come from religious trauma, like "sex before marriage = wrong and bad"? "gay sex = ultimate evil"? Nah, I was never told those things. I didn't even have a very religious upbringing. These thoughts can't be explained away by any of that. Even my mom has always been like "you can have a girlfriend or a boyfriend! i don't mind as long as you're happy! :)" yknow having that nice accepting approach to that time when I was like 15 and settled on bi for "what i was" at the time. No judgement, no condemnation there either.

It's not real.

When I learned that I have ocd, suddenly I started to maybe have an explanation for these thoughts. Some people's obsessions focus on repetition or contamination. A good part of my obsessions focus on condemnation. I'm scared of it. I take "beating yourself up over something" to the next level. Just like any other person who's familiar with delusions, intrusive thoughts, etc will tell you: knowing it's not real doesn't make it any better. Doesn't make it stop. Doesn't make it go away.

When I could explain this detrimental thought process away by finding this horrible disorder to pin the blame on, I felt freer. I've thought many times throughout my mentally ill life about bringing up my (questioning)asexuality to a therapist one day, and I still will, even more so now. i felt before like I'd bring it up to them and not be able to back it up with any evidence, and just be brushed off? That's a stupid way to think, I know. And a therapist who would really do that is one you'd leave immediately. You don't need evidence to talk about how you feel, that's so silly... but that thought itself comes back around, in a vicious cycle, to my needing to justify myself because otherwise I am Wrong And Bad. jeez. what a way to think. i hate that. will be so glad when i get it under control after 25+ years.

edit: oh ya there's also this. my tags on one of the above posts i never reblogged, sat in my drafts.

my disability is inseparable from my sexuality, whatever it is.

#ocd #bdd #intrusive thoughts #demisexual #acespec #aegosexual #autochorissexual #that's a retired term i know so i won't use it again; but that's what it was called when i was younger #unusual for me to remember such a long word lol! it'd be harder for me now. /old #if anyone wants to say anything or tell me they relate- that'd be nice :) i'm purely just venting but sharing your thoughts is welcome #if you want to!

[ask-tfa-ministry-of-science]

The Wiki: Cosmos, Glyph, Mainframe, and Perceptor are all bad at relating to their peers and have a hard time interacting with others. Also Perceptor deleted his emotions

Me: The only thing I’m hearing is that they’ll all have developed different strategies for compensating/coping on the off chance they have to go and interact with Real Actual Other People. They all panic at the first sign of social danger.

Glyph is chatty. Nervous chatty. She will keep talking until someone tells her, point-blank, to shut up for Primus’ sake, and then she will Panic. Alternates between talking way too much and not a peep out of her. Apologizes whenever she realizes she was talking a lot. 

Her writing is disorganized and chaotic; the proof-readers often have no idea what she’s trying to convey in her first pass. Half the words are missing because she has to use a short-hand to try and cram all of the thoughts into place As They Come, Or They Will Be Gone Forever.

Cosmos would Rather Offline than expose himself to the mortifying ordeal of being known by someone else. Good luck getting him to Speak A Word. Very easy to read his body-language. Stutters. Hides inside to avoid talking to people. 

His words are actually very elegant, when he has time to prepare them before having to speak. His papers on astronomy are superb. 

If he has to give a conference you can expect that he has bawled his spark out on no less than three separate occasions while writing and practicing his script.

Cosmos and Glyph are actually really close, despite their fields seeming to be completely unrelated. They met at a conference once and clicked.

Mainframe is like Cosmos, but more experienced in hiding it. You can, in fact, press words out of him if you so choose. He would rather not, since his primary language is mathematics and that is just So Much Easier than trying to tip-toe around which words are least offensive and all.

“Why can the proof not speak for itself. The proof should speak for itself. Why do I have to write a paper with words about the proof.”

Has transformed into a computer against a wall to hide from people before. It doesn’t work with anyone in the ministry but maybe,,, maybe the others won’t know that there’s not normally a computer here,,? 

Perceptor has repeatedly asked Wheeljack to fill in for him at meetings. 

Wheeljack is the only one that has successfully implemented “fake it till you make it” regarding confidence. 

No one from the outside knows why he’s able to interact so easily with the others. No one from the inside knows how he can engage everyone else. He’s a mystery wrapped in an enigma and deep-fried in confusion. He happens to think it is the funniest thing.

#~[[from the mind a | headcanon]] #finally posting this. it has been in drafts for who knows how long. I still think I am correct here #~[[mun mutterings | ooc]]

[casualtydept]

experiencing a particular sense of derangement today so how about an annotated walkthrough of my zeroskull playlist

there's a sort of progression to this that i intended to span their relationship as i portray it so keep that in mind. i hope you like 80s music.

this charming man - the smiths

this man said "it's gruesome, that someone so handsome should care"

my very first zeroskull fic has zero call him handsome and i shamelessly stole the idea from here. oh the romanticism of somehow finding yourself involved with an older english man who knows so much about these things...

2. unloveable - the smiths

i don't have much in my life, but take it - it's yours

sorry for all the morrissey it's not my fault he's also depressed and sexually complicated. i haven't written late 50s skull face in a while and this makes me miss him. oh you poor messed up thing.

3. love my way - the psychedelic furs

a kiss in not enough in love my way, it's a new road i follow where my mind goes

would you look at that another song about being gay. a comfy dreamy sort of feeling of falling for that older man that encourages him just to give in to all these terribly complicated feelings

4. later tonight - pet shop boys

and you wait 'til later, 'til later tonight 'cause tonight always comes

"the most gay song we've ever written" says neil tennant. i'll leave it at that

5. jack the ripper - morrissey

your face is as mean as your life has been crash into my arms, i want you you don't agree, but you don't refuse i know you

oh fuck he's back. anyway haha hope you enjoyed the sweet stuff here's one in which i compare zero to a serial killer. the "nobody knows me" lyric at the end fills my head with many thoughts. it's not zero if it isn't at least a little bit fucked up and morally questionable.

6. shake the disease - depeche mode

here is a plea from my heart to you nobody knows me as well as you do

hope you like this band as much as me or you'll be sick of them by the end of this. oh the desperation. ow oof the mortifying ordeal of being known.

7. in your room - depeche mode

i'm hanging on your words living on your breath feeling with your skin will i always be here?

be thankful i only quoted the chorus here. zero is a powerful man.

8. vampires - pet shop boys

say what you like i'll do what you want me to do you're a vampire, i'm a vampire too

the inherent romanticism of becoming strange and offputtingly wicked men who operate largely at night together

9. master and servant - depeche mode

domination's the name of the game in bed or in life, they're both just the same except in one you're fulfilled at the end of the day

i could have just quoted the whole song here. it's a lot like life!

10. stories of old - depeche mode

but we won't sacrifice anything at all to love

tfw you're totally in love but not enough to make you stop caring about controlling the global population/destroying the english language [delete as appropriate]

11. lovesong - the cure

whenever i'm alone with you you make me feel like i am whole again

i love pain and suffering.

12. love will tear us apart - joy division

love, love will tear us apart again

from the mgsv soundtrack itself. oh the misery.

13. wicked game - chris isaak

the world was on fire and no one could save me but you

[chanting] DIVORCE ERA DIVORCE ERA DIVORCE ERA. the bitterness... the longing.... the knowledge that the guy you essentially spent the last decade or more giving your life to is obsessed with some other guy and has ambitions that directly conflict with yours/make you want to murder him

14. diamonds and rust - joan baez

it's all come back too clearly yes, i loved you dearly and if you're offering me diamonds and rust i've already paid

[skull face voice] oh joan baez we're really in it now. music to drink heavily to after making a certain phone call, thumb running over the scratched metal of an authentic pin badge...

15. no children - the mountain goats

i am drowning there is no sign of land you are coming down with me hand in unlovable hand and i hope you die i hope we both die

oh you know i had to.

anyway hope you enjoyed this glimpse at what drives my insanity, i might do this for my (multiple) skull face playlists sometime but one is full of edgy bullshit + hungarian metalcore and half of my other one is just ennio morricone's dollars trilogy soundtracks lol.

#not art #words #far too many words #put me and skull face in a Talking Incessantly contest i swear i could beat him #playlists

[rodeoromeo]

do i want to know why george scares you?

it has so little to do with what anyone else should think about him and everything to do with me being Not Normal

have you ever heard of the mortifying ordeal of being known?

honestly I spent way too long thinking about George’s career and his music and the way it changed and reflected his soul and feelings over the years and felt so insanely connected to it and to his philosophy and how he experienced life and emotions and it just felt terrifyingly similar to myself and I began to both understand myself more and felt frighteningly CHALLENGED by it and felt somewhat hopeless about changing my situation but also motivated to? it felt really like he was speaking directly to me and it scared the shit out of me because it felt really intimate and I don’t let people into my emotions like that on that level of truth so easily!

#the answer is I’m insane I’m so sorry anon #op #b talks

[my-burnt-city]

so i just did the four-show weekend, and i'm not sure if i'll ever manage to write it up properly, but i have scribbled down a few notes that i can expand upon as and when i get to it. this is what i have so far for the perfect loop i had with my favourite character as played by my favourite performer

Horrible. Absolutely horrific. Very much the worst time I have ever had while getting everything I ever wanted. The chat-up line on the note to Eurydice – disgusting. The calculated charmingness of making a spelling error and checking it with me before rewriting the note – abhorrent. A loop full of light, laughter and passion – awful. Realising that although I am being sacrificed to Apollo, it is because he is doing it for a very wholesome reason – appalling. Finally receiving my personal most elusive 1:1 after months of effort on my part – foul. Being asked to bare my soul via the medium of writing on a napkin – agonising. Being forced to read these vulnerabilities out loud with my own mouth – excruciating. Being asked a very simple question and having absolutely no idea how to answer it in the moment – painful. Whoever wrote about the “mortifying ordeal of being known” has obviously experienced a day like this, and while I am obviously delighted and grateful to have had such a full-chested loop, I am also EXTREMELY bruised by the end of it.

#the burnt city #burnt city #punchdrunk #punchdrunk theatre #immersive theatre #immersive #troy #mycenae #zagreus #milton lopes #milton my beloved #NO I AM NOT OKAY #write-up extract #the mortifying ordeal of being known

[toxicshumai]

How about all of the characters and vanilla (because apparently vanilla is a kink nowadays and I'm one of the most vanilla person you could ever meet). You don't need to do all of them if it's too much, you can just pick whoever you feel like talking about but I'm curious what you think 👀

Have a great day my queen ♡

nah man LET'S GOOOOO. I'm gonna do the dateables in a separate post bc this is already way too long

Send me an Obey Me character(s) and a kink and I’ll leak my thoughts

Lucifer: He's a canonical sadist and seems to enjoy a brat taming but he's not going to initiate any kind of scene unless he has enough time and energy to give 110%. He takes that responsibility seriously. Since he's overworked and sleep deprived most sex is going to be vanilla. If he's especially tired, he'll probably get lost in how good he feels and cum prematurely. If you're topping just fuck him through it and he'll feel wonderfully relaxed and exhausted. If he's topping, he'll be mortified and then use his hands to get you off as many times as you can handle to compensate. Vanilla sex is vulnerable for Lucifer and his favorite part is foreplay when he can just run his hands and lips over your body and feel your warm skin against his. It reminds him that you're alive and chose him.

Mammon: Subby boy. Soft brat. Mammon is eager and tends to get ahead of himself so he's going to want to speedrun all of your shared kinks almost immediately. He buys toys, lingerie, candles, restraints, different lubes, you name it. Partly because of Mammon's Too Much Gene and partly because thinks if he can keep the sense of novelty going, you won't get bored and leave him. Make him slow down. Take him apart slowly, treat him like something delicate and precious. Spread him out under you so he can't hide his blush or expression of pure adoration. Look into his eyes and hold his hand while you slide into/onto him slowly. He'll cry after and probably during (though he'll deny it) but it's only from the intense emotional catharsis. The other side of this coin is goofy established relationship sex where you're both giggling from endorphins, teasing each other, and fully indulging in each other's bodies. Mammon will give you a dopey lovesick smile the whole time.

Levi: You're going to have to work this poor man up to penetrative sex but he's a fiend for mostly-clothed hand stuff while you're both in his bedtub. We all know Levi has a degradation kink and most likely hentai brainrot but he's not going to bring that up in the bedroom without a lot of prompting and time together. Vanilla sex makes him feel so much more exposed that roleplay or d/s power dynamics because he doesn't have a roadmap. He has to just be himself and be in the moment and that's terrifying. On the other hand, nothing compares to the rewards of submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known. He's going to need a ton of aftercare after vanilla sex or he'll get lost in his head and the endorphin dump will fuck him right up.

Satan: I hc Satan as being less experienced than his other brothers partly because he's been alive the least amount of time and partly because he's not going to let his guard down around just anyone. Also he has high standards. He's also a romantic who reads too many romance novels and erotica. Satan would watch Hallmark movies with Asmo. So this man? Loves vanilla sex. Playful sex with an established partner, sweaty desperate quickies, and slow sensual marathon sex are his jam. Woo him a little. Light some candles (actually maybe use some LED ones given that his room is a fire hazard), take your time kissing and working him up, tell him you love him and how happy you are to be his. Also, I hc that he has a lot of wall sex because his bed is full of books. Favorite position is for you to drape yourself across his back and fuck him hard and deep while he ruts against a pillow.

Asmo: Yes, he'll do vanilla but he needs to show off the entire time. Deepthroating, making you squirt, bending himself into ridiculous positions, etc. Praise him but bring his focus back to the connection you share; he doesn't need to impress you or perform for you. He doesn't have to win you over because he already has you. Kiss the back of his hand, his palm, and each one of his fingertips while you tell him you just want to be close to him and make him feel good. He's going to be clingy after.

Beel: Ohh softe boi. I don't think Beel has a lot of kinks so you end up having vanilla sex by default. He likes how domestic missionary feels unless you're much shorter or smaller than him, in which case he prefers you on top so he can actually look you in the eye and not worry about crushing you. I think Beel is very easy to please. Some mostly-clothed heavy petting and making out followed by snacks and he's happy. Full-on penetrative sex is less frequent because if he tops he's a stretch and if he bottoms uhh having to void first makes him hungry and then he just needs to eat.

Belphie: You want him to stay awake for sex? Not even a little somnophilia? Ohhh jail. Jail for MC. He's going to be very soft once he realizes you're not up to play with his brat persona. He wants to have sex lying on your sides either facing each other with your leg hooked over his hip or spooning you and leisurely thrusting while rubbing your clit/dick. If he bottoms, he's going to whine to be facedown in the pillows but keep an eye on him to make sure he stays awake. You can fuck him in missionary but he'll pout if you don't massage his legs after.

#jellymoonbear #ask time #ARE YOU HAPPY MISS MA'AM? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED? jkjk

[maxbegone]

AND WE ARE BACK! 

Part two of the Schitt’s Creek Community Fic Rec is here! This time, we focused on celebrating our favorite AU’s! Once again, this is dedicated with love to the the authors of this community! Every participant chose one AU (which was a little hard to do for some) to share and why they enjoyed it.

Thank you to everyone who submitted!

@bestwisheswarmestregards​ // @brighter-than-sunshine​ // @danieljradcliffe​ // @devilstelephone​ // @fishyspots​ // @imargaery​ // @justwaiting23​ // @patrickbrewsky​ // @rockinhamburger​ // @roguebabyinyourstore​ // @rosebuddsmotel​ // @stuck-on-your-heart​ // @the-13th-wheel​ // @thedidipickles​ // @thisbuildinghasfeelings​ // @yourbuttervoicedbeau​

And a very special thank you to anyone who has ever written anything in this community! 

Everything is posted below the cut, and you can check out part one here! 

**As always, if I missed an author’s tumblr handle, please let me know! 

@bestwisheswarmestregards​

Odd Man Rush by @samwhambam​

It’s David and Patrick and Hockey! Three of my favorite things! Also the ending is one of my favorite endings. It’s so sweet! It’s part of the series score and all of the stories are so cute but this one is my favorite!

@brighter-than-sunshine​

Thanks For Choosing Bagged! by dinnfameron

I love this one because the dialogue is so adorable, and true to David and Patrick! I can totally see the characters getting involved in something like this, like a different version of a rom-com.

@danieljradcliffe​

Going Down by concannonfodder

This is one of the best stories of NYC!David and recently out Patrick while they're both trying to find themselves. It's beautifully written and my favourite part is that each chapter switches between David and Patrick's POV. It does a great job of highlighting the aspects of their personalities that we know and love but shows them to us in a new light.

@devilstelephone​

sustineo by @rockinhamburger​

The contemporary art discussions between Patrick and David are interesting and important to the story. Patrick still cares for and emotionally connects with David In a world that is so different than Schitt’s Creek. I liked that Sebastian Raine was the evil force without being included as a character.

@fishyspots​

Welcome to Cabaret by @vivianblakesunrisebay​

It's lovely from start to finish! In this 'verse, Christmas World didn't pull out, so David didn't get the lease for the general store. Instead, he gets roped into helping Moira with Cabaret, and meets Patrick (kind of) through that. I love the way this author writes. The dialogue is in-character, and the plot is wonderful and pulls out moments from canon and reimagines them in some truly inspired ways. I'm such a fan of all of this author's works; this was the first one I read, and it remains my favorite.

@imargaery​

David.; or, a Tale of Misapplied Sense by Siria

A Jane Austen D&P AU and it is BRILLIANT. If you're an Austen fan, you will be able to immediately pick up on how well this author adapted Austen's style, wit, character descriptions, and ability to whack you over the head with romance when you're not even ready for it yet. Siria is a very experienced fanfic writer, but writes for many fandoms, so I think that's maybe why it doesn't have that many hits? I'm so glad I clicked on it. I want to wrap myself up in this story. I want to make a podfic out of it. I want to put it on a t-shirt and wear it every day. Also, it's in a regency AU where homophobia isn't a thing, so you don't even have to worry about that. I want to tell you more, but that would spoil it. Just read the damn thing and thank me later.

@justwaiting23​

You Were the Ocean, I Was Just a Stone by @al-ex-an-d-er-hamiltons​ 

The image of a curly haired fisherman Patrick is enough but this whole fic is such a sweet concept. Their interactions in this are so reminiscent of the show but also so different because they already know each other vaguely, and I come back to this fic over and over just because it's the perfect mix of angsty miscommunication and fluff.

@maxbegone​

Known and Be Known by ahurston

As someone who tends to lean toward canon/canon-divergent stories, this was a refreshing take on an AU. Beautifully written and wonderfully raw, ahurston conveyed the vulnerabilities between both David and Patrick so wonderfully. “The mortifying ordeal of being known,” personified in fanfiction format. With humor and some wonderfully hot scenes peppered throughout, this fic was just brilliant from start to finish. I love when authors explore Patrick's insecurities and vulnerabilities - they aren't written about as often as David's are. I implore you to read this, if you're able.

@patrickbrewsky​

Bound by Symmetry by barelypink

They say write what you know. I instead read what I know. David is the accidentally fantastic teacher we all wished we'd had in high school, and some of us wish/hope we are or might be one day. This fic is a great exploration of combining everything David knows he is (creative, bright, v.knowledgeable about art) and all the things he thinks he's not (empathetic, a role model, great with kids, selfless, kind, & big hearted) The selling point quote: "And it feels good, David realizes, to have a job that means something, a purpose beyond himself. A place where he feels like he belongs, just like his students." (David Rose proves he is both a good and nice person).

@rockinhamburger​

Blackbird, Fly by distractivate 

This is a post-apocalyptic story about love, connection, and hope, with a central theme of growth from destruction. I could not put this one down; I read it feverishly in one sitting, desperate to soak up every word. I love this fic because it is what I like to think of as an exemplar for transformative works (one of ao3’s top values). I love the way the fic stretches toward the light in the dark. It makes me think: about the quintessential elements of these characters, what remains the same despite changed circumstance, and what inevitably shifts when these characters we know and love are faced with a situation far outside their experience or comfort. This story likely hits differently in 2020, when post-apocalyptic narratives feel much less distant than they might have just a year ago. And yet, all the more reason to read an incredible work about hope and resilience and transformation.

@roguebabyinyourstore​

Fifteen Hundred Miles by MoreHuman

Where do I even begin with this fic? I was at first skeptical about what reason David Rose would have to willingly subject himself to a trek through the wilderness out of his own volition. Well I’m so glad I ignored that admittedly stupid part of me because this is one of the mostly beautifully crafted stories I have ever read. Patrick and David are individually on their own journeys of self-discovery, but the way they help each other find what they sought... It’s breathtaking. Their feelings for each other bloom so organically over their time together that despite the circumstances laid out before them, the miles that they stumble and walk and run bring them miles closer to each other. Closer to the love that they both didn’t know they needed. The characters come alive and are identical to their canon selves. The dialogue and banter are spot on David and Patrick. The writing itself is superb. The tropes are incredible, the pining and *oh no there’s only one tent.* The slow burn is tantalizing but in a way that feels true to a genuine love story. The way the setting somehow breathes in tune with the characters, the way they leave messages behind in the trail register—conveying more than they can utter aloud— and the way their families communicate with them throughout their time on the trail through letters. All of the elements of this story ground it in universal truth, in feelings that are not only relatable, believable but demand to be felt. I can wax poetic until I am blue in the face, but really... Read this story. And then reread it a million times.

@rosebuddsmotel​

I Carry These Heart-Shapes Only to You by @ladyflowdi​ and @ships-to-sail​

There are over 180,000 words in this WWII AU, but not one of those words is wasted. It is gorgeous in its prose, and incredibly romantic without romanticizing the very real pain and tragedies of the era in which it exists. It's not an easy read by any means, but it's the kind of cathartic emotional journey that is more than worth it in the end.

@stuck-on-your-heart​ 

kiss from a rose by mihaly ( @davidroseshusband​ )

What can I say about this very special fic that would do it justice? In this story, Alexis stars in a Bachelorette-style dating show and it’s every bit as brilliant as it sounds. On top of the incredible characterization, there are little surprises at every turn, there’s pining, and of course, there’s love. Secret love, even. This fic is truly addicting – I promise you won’t be able to stop once you start reading, and it will leave you feeling so satisfied (and if you’re like me, a little misty)!!!

@the-13th-wheel​

Hold Me Like You’ll Never Let Me Go by @mooodlighting​

It is a wonderful short AU where Patrick and David where they meet at an airport after they get snowed in. It is cute, there is longing and pining that just make it a wonderful read!

@thedidipickles​

Beneath the Winter Snow by Distractivate

The writing is so utterly gorgeous all the way throughout that I frequently needed to take breaks to breathe. The author *perfectly* builds an Olympic world that I can totally see my favorite characters inhabiting, and the resolution is gorgeous. All of Distractivate's AUs are amazing, but this one still stands out.

@thisbuildinghasfeelings​

How Do We Get Back by @unfolded73​

This one deals with a literal alternate universe, which is the first thing I loved about it because I had never read a fic quite like it before. It's a beautifully written 60,000+ word masterpiece that definitely makes me feel ALL the feelings. In addition, it is absolutely riveting. I could not stop reading until I got to the end.

@yourbuttervoicedbeau​

Make It To Me by figmentof ( @rosesdavid )

Epistolatory fic is SO hard to pull off and the author does such an incredible job with the way the characters shine through even though we only see them interact via text message. This fic is my comfort food and I reread it regularly <3

Anonymous Recs:

Just Breathe by olivebranchesandredwine

I love this one because it's got Patrick as a yoga teacher (hot!) and shows David being proactive about anxiety and it's just such a lovely story.

Shall I Stay? by alladaydream ( @maybewecandreamalittle​​ )

This is so worth the 100k wordcount. 18-year-old David and Patrick sweetly leaning into first love, a lot of angst and pining in the middle that allow them both to heal and grow, and a heartfelt reconciliation. Plus, two bonus cherries on top with artist!David and a beautiful epilogue in which they (spoiler) live happily ever after. The tone and pacing of this fic is so good, and I always go back to it when I want to read something comforting.

Your Heart is Keeping Time with Me by @yourbuttervoicedbeau​

I haven't seen 50 First Dates, but this fic is better than the movie could ever be. The author's writing is so beautiful and her David who has amnesia and her Patrick who wants to help him are just PERFECT. I want more and more and more of this.

Once again, thank you to everyone who participated and thank you to every single person who has written something in this community! It would be wonderful to do a part three, but for now, enjoy some alternate universe fics! 

#schitt's creek #schitts creek #sc community fic rec #sc fic rec #sc fic recs #schitt's creek fic #schitt's creek fics #david rose #patrick brewer #david x patrick #bestwisheswarmestregards #brighter-than-sunshine #danieljradcliffe #fishyspots #devilstelephone #imargaery #justwaiting23 #patrickbrewsky #rockinhamburger #roguebabyinyourstore #rosebuddsmotel #stuck-on-your-heart #the-13th-wheel #thedidipickles #thisbuildinghasfeelings #yourbuttervoicedbeau

[heroacademiaimagines]

NSFW Alphabet [Amajiki Tamaki]

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Tamaki needs attention and a little bit of reassurance when all is said and done, acting rather needy as he cuddled close and refused to let you leave the bed (even if it was to clean yourself off). You don’t mind sitting there with him for a bit but you always encourage him to come clean himself off with you, knowing he really enjoyed it when you took showers or baths together afterward. Throw some bubbles in and it’s the perfect end to a romantic night with you.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

He wouldn’t say he disliked his body but to have a favorite body part… He can’t really think of anything. Thinking about how you praise him during sex really flusters him so he can’t even use your favorite body part as an answer because you seemed to just love everything about him. He’s in good shape so he feels he at least has that going for him, but he always thinks of how his arms could be bigger or his abs more defined.

He likes both your arms and legs, as odd as it sounds. It’s for romance purposes but he loves leaving a trail of slow kisses up your arm as he keeps the mood agreeable and he likes to do the same with your legs. He can’t help but worship your soft skin with his lips, your moans of approval enough to fuel him even if he feels like he looks foolish ravishing parts of you that don’t directly contribute to sexual pleasure. He likes to take his time if he works up the courage to actually have sex, so it means allowing him to slowly get comfortable with where the night is heading.

C = Cum (Favorite place to cum)

He dislikes cum finding it to be a gross and sticky mess so he prefers when he can cum inside you, or the condom so that he doesn’t have to deal with it. He feels guilty making you swallow if you’re giving him a blow job as he knows he wouldn’t want to so he doesn’t feel any which way about how you decide to take care of him.

D = Dirty Secret

Using his quirk in bed isn’t something that’s been put into practice quite yet but he’s seen tentacle porn, you’ve talked about tentacle porn, and he couldn’t help but dream about what that might be like. He’s far too embarrassed to do so in actuality or even bring it up to potentially see if you have an interest in it, but perhaps if the relationship needs some spicing up he’ll take the initiative to introduce it into your lives.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Tamaki has no idea what he’s doing and he doesn’t have a good sense on what to do, either, so you’d better be ready to give him some instructions. It’s not that he’s stupid or doesn’t know how to make a person feel good but once he sees you start removing articles of clothing his brain freezes and almost refuses to reboot until you shake him out of it. He needs someone with a great amount of patience who understands having sex for him is an intense experience and he needs plenty of time to prepare himself mentally; he can’t be pushed out of his comfort zone the first few times but after that, he’s willing to branch out now that he knows the basics to pleasing you.

F = Favorite Position

There are plenty of positions that he doesn’t mind but he finds missionary to be tried and true when you’re both not looking for anything adventurous. It’s how you know he fully trusts you, when he can look you in the eye even when there’s lewd sounds filling the room and he’s desperately thrusting into you in a haze of pleasure. He likes being able to see your face as he knows whether or not you’re enjoying what he’s doing, especially if you’re the quiet type, and it feels all the more intimate when he can lean down to lock lips with you right before he cums.

G = Goofy (Are they serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Tamaki is almost comically serious every time the two of you have sex, and even if you teased him he’d tell you he couldn’t help it. He felt like this was a bonding activity that was heavy with emotion so he shouldn’t take it lightly though he did know that emotion wasn’t necessary to stick his dick in you. He just preferred it this way but he wasn’t above giving you gentle smiles or laughing into your skin when you make some sort of joke or teasing remark.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He kept himself neat and cleanly but not completely shaven unless you prefer it. He really doesn’t think too much about what’s going on down there until he makes an issue which it rarely does. A good way to get him flustered and turning fifty shades of red is to ask him to shape it into a heart since you’re the only one who’s going to see it anyway.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Tamaki likes it when it’s quiet or there’s ambient noise in the background, something like the rain or lyricless music. He would be surprised if you set up something romantic like rose petals leading to the bed and scolds himself for not thinking of such a thing first, but he loves when the moment is played up to be romantic and not just about the sex. He craves the intimacy of being close to another person and even if it’s nerve-wracking, he enjoys the feeling of having all your attention on him. He loves to take his time in cherishing the bare skin you’re presenting him with, leaving kisses everywhere he can reach and then some until you take the reigns and start to ravish him with your love.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Every once in awhile the mood overtakes him and he’ll masturbate but only if he’s completely alone in the house with no threat of anyone walking in. He has multiple safeguards put in place to assure he’s not caught with his pants down as the thought is so mortifying he doesn’t know if he’d ever recover. He can’t help but let little noises slip out while he’s masturbating and he almost always imagines it’s you touching him, whimpering your name, begging you to go faster, and thinking about how much he wished you were actually there to kiss him.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise: He loves the sound of your voice during sex and even if he doesn’t agree with the things you’re saying, it’s almost too easy to get lost in the moment and just accept them without complaint. He doesn’t like anything that’s too extreme (like calling him the best you’ve ever had) but gentle encouragement can go a long way with him.

Body Worship: This isn’t something he quite appreciates at first as it feels like you’re almost scrutinizing him but it’s something he slowly grows used to; if there’s anyone he can trust with complimenting him without going overboard it’s you, and he knows you wouldn’t ever say anything that you didn’t mean. He especially loved the feeling of your lips against his burning skin while you’re getting hot and heavy.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Tamaki prefers the comfort of your own home to any other place, so don’t expect him to branch out too much when you’re in public together. The bedroom is, of course, his favorite place as it feels safest to him but he’s not above indulging you when you want to fool around on the couch or in the bathroom (not while in the shower but the bath is fine).

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Tamaki doesn’t have a very high sex drive but he is also very sensitive to innocent things, like being rubbed against or seeing a glimpse of your underwear through your clothing. It can be pretty easy to make him hard but if he’s not at home he simply thinks of unsavory things so his hard-on will go away. If you mentioned or implied you wanted to have sex, or you start kissing him a little more intensely than usual, he begins to feel the need to satisfy you and that can be enough motivation to get him responding in kind to your fervent touches.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won’t be verbally abusive, doesn’t like to cause physical harm even if it’s something you’re interested in (spanking is as far as he’ll go, but even that makes him mildly uncomfortable). He tries to go with the flow but he’s not afraid of making it known when you’re going too far out of his comfort zone, and though he doesn’t mind trying out new things from time to time, you have to give him fair warning in advance so he can do his own research on the topic and assure it’s something that won’t freak him out.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both of them making him rather nervous so he can’t say he prefers one over the other. He likes giving you oral because hearing you moan his name can be reassuring and he likes knowing he can make you feel good but he also worries he might not be do something right. While receiving he feels uncomfortable because the spotlight is all on him and he doesn’t know what to do. Should he moan? How loud? How much was too much and how loud was too loud? There’s a lot of pressure and he doesn’t know what you want from him (at least at first) so he finds himself so full of petty worries he can’t even enjoy the moment.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

Tamaki much prefers slow and sensual as he doesn’t want to hurt you, even accidentally, so he takes his time. When he’s inside you he’ll generally pick up the pace but not to the point where he’ll cum in the blink of an eye, something he finds to be rather embarrassing when it does happen to him on certain days. He likes to try to enjoy the moment and your presence, listening to your soft sighs mix with his groans in a glorious love symphony.

Q = Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Tamaki isn’t a fan of quickies unless you’re really pressed for time and you both can’t resist each other, it’s one of the few moments you see him actually let loose and indulge rather than worry that everything’s set up perfectly. He prefers the whole ordeal be more romantic in nature rather than just about getting off but he can understand the need to just have fun without putting too much thought into it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Tamaki does not like to take risks and you’re unlikely to convince him to do anything outside of the bedroom, but experimenting he is game for. He needs to know that either you know what you’re doing or that you’re willing to do research with him to assure you’re acting safely before he tries anything drastically new. Introducing toys or new kinks can make him a little apprehensive so patience is required while he gets used to the idea.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Tamaki is always exhausted after two rounds but it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the amount of stamina he has; he is a pro-hero who trains daily and keeps himself as in-shape as possible. It’s more like the experience of sex is just all around exhausting for him that he only has it in him for a round or two before he wants to tap out, but he can easily continue if you rile him up enough (or if he really wants to please you).

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Tamaki doesn’t personally own any toys as he’s too intimidated to walk into an adult shop alone and buy one, plus, all the ones he’s seen look scary and he’s not quite sure how to use them. Introducing toys into the bedroom would be an interesting concept for him and if you start out simple, he’ll warm up to the idea a bit more and try out toys on himself in his own time (just so he doesn’t embarrass himself in front of you).

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Tamaki is more of a pleaser than a teaser, but he won’t ever rush the process of having sex with you so that may be seen as teasing. You could be begging him to put his dick in you but he’d carefully run through your foreplay routine, wanting to assure that you’re ready for him (he’d heard horror stores of tearing and not prepping properly and swore to never rush as long as he could help it).

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Tamaki isn’t loud but he is vocal, noises slipping out of his mouth constantly without his permission. This happens both while he’s masturbating and when you’re the one touching him, and he admits he tries to ignore his own voice as he feels it’s embarrassing (his entire face looks like a tomato if you tell him the sound of his moans turn you on even more). He lets out little whimpers and soft groans, mumbling your name under his breath and squirming under your touch when you’re showering him with love.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon)

Tamaki had never had a wet dream before he met you. It’s not as though he wasn’t attracted to people, or that he didn’t know what they were, he had just never experienced one until he began to fall for you. The experience was a jarring one and he had to rush to clean his sheets, unable to talk about the phenomena he’d gone through until Mirio pestered him about how weird he was acting. He felt only slightly more reassured when Mirio told him it was totally normal to have one of those dreams when you genuinely like a person.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Tamaki’s dick is rather average with an average girth, about 7 inches hard with a slight curve to it. He tries to make up for his lack of length and experience by showering you in affection and making other parts of your body feel good while he’s inside you.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Tamaki has an admittedly low sex drive and he feels guilty about it, as though he’s not normal and he’s not appreciating you nearly enough. He had worried at first that it’d be a point of contention in your relationship and that you’d want to leave him if he didn’t sleep with you as much as you wanted, something he worked himself into a tizzy over until you finally calmed him down by explaining sex wasn’t the defining factor of your relationship with him.

Z = ZZZ (…How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Tamaki never falls asleep before you do and he enjoys listening to you talk after you’re both coming down from your high, snuggling into your arms and enjoying the feeling of your fingers stroking his hair. He’s generally exhausted after a few rounds and, once he hears you’ve fallen asleep, he’ll quickly find himself in dreamland, too.

#Amajiki Tamaki #Amajiki Tamaki x Reader #BNHA X Reader #My Hero Academia X Reader #BNHA Smut #My Hero Academia #Boku no Hero Academia

[meyerlansky]

5, 8, & 20 for the writing meme !!

Share one of your strengths.

i am generally pretty proud of my dialogue, i like to think i write snappy banter, but i say this and then for the next question i struggled for like an hour picking out dialogue i was really proud of, SO WHO KNOWS

Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

okay this is a long snippet but there are a lot of things i like about it, SO, from ch3 of SVAA before things get r-rated:

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm running out of bottles and I've already picked the trash cans clean," Burakh says distractedly, rifling through the chest of drawers against the wall. He makes a wordless noise of satisfaction as he pockets whatever trinkets he's come across, sliding the drawer shut and turning to face Daniil. "I could ask you the same, oynon. The Kains don't keep you supplied?"

Daniil bites back the sharp retort that comes to his tongue immediately. It would be a jab from anyone else, has been a jab on numerous occasions from the likes of Olgimsky and Saburov, but Burakh's tone is earnest, mere curiosity. He shakes his head, keeps venom from his voice as he says, "Boots. I've worn through two pairs since I arrived, all this running around."

Another little noise, this time of comprehension. "All that pacing you do," Burakh counters, and even with half his face hidden, the smile lights up his eyes.

and i like it BECAUSE: the bottle crack is a very deliberate reference to my DISASTEROUS first shot at patho, during which i was frantically scrambling for enough empty bottles to keep making tinctures by day four, but also the pacing comment is the moment daniil is like “.........fuck, this is going to be trouble,” because it’s artemy commenting on something daniil sees as a weakness and being fond of it, and it turns out experiencing The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known and the person doing the Knowing not tapping out when they see something you think of as a defect is harder to handle than when people do tap out. daniil has some self-loathing issues to work out and they only get worse after that chapter but it’s fine he’ll get there

Describe your perfect writing conditions.

in bed at 3am, honestly, that’s when i get basically all my writing done. bonus points for either having taken a lunesta or melatonin or for being buzzed, which i know is not a good thing but i can’t get over myself enough to write without some brand of Altered State Of Consciousness. a year ago it would’ve been “on the bus on the way to work, back to the window so no one can look over my shoulder, headphones on” which is basically the same thing since i’m a monster in the mornings.

#naomisnagata #asks #fic writer ask meme #THANK U FOR THESE

[lokiarsene]

I really love your blog and reading your analysis and thoughts are always very intriguing and eye opening at times too. I'm not very good with words so excuse the mess that is this message... I just saw the anon who didn't listen to your reply at all and accused you of 'armchair diagnosing' and how it is 'bothersome' to have their illness applied to a character, I just wanted to say that's not true at all and as someone with depression it really does help me to know that I'm not really alone.

continuing… And I just wanted to say thank you for everything, I really love what you do and checking your blog really is a highlight of my day.

Art isn’t created in a vacuum. Many ill artists have throughout the course of human history used art as a medium to channel their illnesses, either as a coping mechanism, and expression of it for catharsis, or as a deliberate way to show what they’ve endured. Even those who did not know what they suffered still found a way to express it, and it’s only after the fact have psychologists, biographers, literary researchers, and even just regular people been able to draw parallels or recognize patterns because of their own experiences. This is even easier–and perhaps wiser–to do when the person you are comparing yourself to is a fictional character.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is the most famous example of depicting mental illnesses in modern Japanese media. Hideaki Anno was severely, suicidally depressed as he developed Evangelion, and channeled that pain into the story, the characters, and themes. Every single character in that cast has traits of clinical depression (at the very least) because the creator had depression, and was exorcising those particular ‘demons’ through fiction. He did this knowingly, consciously, and willingly.

That’s why Evangelion has struck a chord with people of different ages, across different cultures, and indeed with different mental illnesses. I do not have clinical depression, yet depression and suicidal ideation are traits of my illnesses. Ergo, I can understand how it feels. It’s the same pain with a different cause. That’s why Evangelion is an incredibly grueling yet emotionally satisfying piece of media, and it’s why I heartily recommend everyone watch it (although don’t watch it alone). It’s also very obviously one of the major inspirations for Persona 5 Royal and Akeshu, which I will not elaborate on because of spoilers.

But why did I bring that up? Well, you mentioned how my post about Akechi and BPD helps you, as someone with depression, realize you aren’t alone. It takes courage to admit that to someone; you are voluntarily revealing personal information about your health to a stranger, and to all the strangers who read this post. That’s incredibly brave. What’s more, by stepping up and saying that, by reaching out, you are removing yourself from loneliness and isolation.

Does that make sense?

One of the major themes of Evangelion and the crux of all the characters’ individual arcs, is a thing called “Hedgehog’s dilemma.” As the show describes it, this dilemma is the pain caused by people when they get close to each other: the closer you are to someone–the more you care about someone–the more susceptible you are to hurting them or being hurt by them, because your feelings for them are so strong. Some people are so afraid of this possibility of pain that they refuse to get close to anyone–but that only causes pain, too.

You know how it’s somewhat of a meme these days to joke about submitting to “the mortifying ordeal of being known”? That’s Hedgehog’s dilemma.

Evangelion also respresents the idea of the fear of being alone–and the “mortifying ordeal of being known”–and the fear of getting too close with another concept called an AT Field: an Absolute Terror Field. An AT Field is an invisible barrier that protects Eva units from being physically harmed, yet it’s a shield that can be broken through if enough damage is done, and thus make the Eva and the pilot vulnerable. The show also goes on to say that all humans have an AT Field around their hearts. AT Fields are an invisible, intangible form of defense that breaks down when we bond with others. Again, to let someone into your life is to invite the equal potential for happiness and pain.

So why do it? So why risk pain simply for a chance at happiness? Why bother letting anyone in at all? Because loneliness and isolation is making the possibility of pain into an absolute certainty. Loving others, reaching out to them, getting to know them, trying to understand them, is removing pain as a certainty, and balancing it with the equal potential for comfort and happiness. There is a very obvious parallel here with something in Persona 5 Royal, but I do not want to get into it because of spoilers. I would be happy to answer it in another ask, though.

Humans are social creatures. We socialize every day, in varying ways, to varying degrees, with varying levels of intimacy. We are never alone–which isn’t something I say to make you paranoid, or to dismiss the loneliness you felt, feel, and may feel in the future. I say that because I myself am an incredibly lonely person. I feel it to debilitating degrees, even now. And the only remedy to this loneliness is to make an effort daily, no matter how small, to reach out to someone else. To do something for them. To take the time to leave a comment, or check in on them, to send them a meme or a joke or a piece of art I think will make them happy.

This isn’t advice I dispense without personal experience or without medical evidence to back me up. One of the tasks given to me by my psychologist in therapy is to once a day, every day, write down something I did for someone else or something they did for me. By doing this, I am making the conscious choice to bring my attention things I do every day that prove I am not alone. This is one of the many ways to treat cognitive distortions (yes, yes, I know, but my therapist licherally said that we are going to help heal and dismantle my cognitive distortions, because that’s what Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and Cognitive BT does, and I couldn’t help but laugh and think of Persona 5).

Now, what does all that have to do with Persona 5/Akeshu, depicting mental illnesses in art, and this ask? Well, Persona as a series is all about creating relationships with others. It’s so blatantly obvious and so inextricably woven into the core themes of the game that I almost don’t think I have to point it out. I think people (even fans–even myself!) can lose sight of that crucial tenet of the series.

Persona is also a series about exploring the internal self and the external expression of the self. One of those forms of expression is socializing. Another is art. Sometimes, the act of exploring your internal self comes with the realization that you are ill. That means your external expression of that self will reflect, at times, some traits of that illness. You are not your illness–there is more of “you” than that–but your illness is a part of you, and can make itself known in how you express yourself.

So. What does that have to do with your ask? Because you, by sending this message–by following this blog, by keeping tabs on any of the rambles me and Mod Sirea make when the fancy strikes us–are making a deliberate, willful choice to keep your loneliness at bay. You are creating a barrier between the pain of loneliness and your Self–capital “S” self, or your “heart” if you prefer. You do that without even knowing it, and I bet you do something like that every day. Every person you talk to, every Tweet you read, every text you send; every person you sit next to on the bus or in class; every cashier, barista, wait staff, etc. that you speak to is you making connections with others, however small, however fleeting, however brief. Even if these people do not know “you,” do not engage with you in a personal way, you are still experiencing life with them.

You realize you are not alone, and you assert that you do not want to be alone, and so you make yourself “not alone.” You look at your loneliness and say, “no, not today.” You stand up to your illness, to your fear, to your pain, and you do not let it win. That’s brave. That’s powerful. That’s strength. Even if you don’t feel brave, or powerful, or strong. Maybe you might not like being called that, either. I know sometimes I don’t. But I also know that sometimes the only way we can be strong is by being tested. We endure, and endurance is resilience is resistance is strength.

And Akechi and Akiren would be very, very proud of you. I know I am.

#mod krist #long post #Anonymous #this is the ask tag