#stray gods meta

[vaguely-concerned]

Stray Gods Character Design Thoughts

In order we're going Pan, Apollo, Persephone, Eros, Aphrodite and a little bit of Venus! Disclaimer that I have no professional experience in character design at all, so these are only my vibes-based ramblings and observations purely for fun and because my brain simply won't shut up about this game haha. Also I will freely admit Pan probably gets the most attention in this because of who I am as a person and where my heart truly lies at the end of the day lol

PAN

Ok, first of all I have so many questions and they all delight me. This guy is the god of the wild places ("Where else would I be, but among the trees and the wild things?"), he lives in a magical garden on top of an office building... and he’s walking around everywhere in an expensive three piece tailored suit (when Freddie accuses him of being a sleaze in a cheap suit he protests mildly that his suit is anything but cheap haha). The cut of it is really carefully thought out and planned, but the bold colours under the grey coat and (studied I am sure) careless details like the tie also make it fun and playful. Which is pleasingly coherent with the general theme of his character in the writing too and I adore it.  

This is not the point, I know, but I’m wondering how he makes that work just like. Practically now. Has Athena fixed up Olympus with in-house laundry service? And other sentences I did not expect to type out today lol. Ah well he’s wily I’m sure he has his ways. 

I can't heap enough praise on it, this design is SUCH an interesting and elegant marriage of the immediately recognizable satyr features and thus animal symbolism with all its added pagan weight in a post-Christianity setting, and the sort of ‘man of wealth and taste’ imagery of the devil at the crossroads they clearly want to evoke, especially in his first scene. And partially through his mannerism there’s also an added element of like… eccentric but surprisingly competent college professor — just look at the way he carries himself whenever he isn’t putting on the charm or when he’s being guarded and self-contained. That little hands resting on his back pose exudes ‘nerd’ so deeply to me haha. (Incredibly fuckable nerd, to be sure, but still!)

you don't fool me buddy I know what you are. I know all the trouble you went to to get a book.

His body language shifts very quickly between wild playful expressiveness and a sort of nonchalant urbane detachment that borders on coldness sometimes, and it fascinates me. Especially since that more refined unavailable side seems to be something he’s deliberately cultivated, to some extent. When Grace calls him out on how boring it sounds to just let yourself go numb and distant to survive, he doesn’t deny that at all, only saying that at least it’s been quite effective. 

Putting the rest under a cut to save people's dashes! I may, as they say, have gotten a tiny bit carried away.

Physically he’s not very imposing — he’s only a little taller than Grace, and the shortest of all of the love interests, which I find somehow very charming and also plays into him being more of a guile-based character. “Seeing as I am neither big nor truly bad, it behooves me to be wary of those who are both” indeed!

I’m fairly sure he’s the character wearing the most layers. Even his hands are mostly covered by gloves. He partially covers up his eyes with the tinted glasses — interesting, as one of the features that most give his real nature away with their sidewise pupils, and the lenses are tinted purple as the complimentary colour to yellow, so it downplays just how bright they are. All together it’s very much a ‘well, he’s certainly got to be in there somewhere’ sort of vibe at times. (Since he also seems to care about his clothes quite a bit — he complains about scuffing his pants during the climb in the Medusa mission if you go the lockpick route — I have drawn the conclusion that getting him out of all of that must take quite a bit of time, no matter how much practice he’s probably put in over the years of meeting 'delicious people' lol) 

It’s a design that manages to give, at the same time: animal-featured ancient god, deal with the devil, teacher, overtones of con man if you’re inclined to be Freddie-levels of uncharitable lol, eccentric rich weird uncle… there’s a lot going on here and somehow it all works haha. He isn’t wearing any jewelry at all unless you count the glasses, which now that I’m looking at the rest of the character designs in this game is actually fairly rare among them!

His eyes really are incredibly bright when uh naked as it were, though. I like the implication that he is aware of this and actually goes out of his way to downplay it, even when he’d normally be wearing glamour anywhere it would strictly matter for it to show. Between that, the meaningful zoom in on him at the Underworld when Apollo says that all the Idols can be themselves there even if they don’t look human, Pan claiming he’s been distrusted and side-eyed by the others basically since the beginning and seeming kind of frustrated and hurt about it, in his deflecting way, and the implication of a hierarchy among the Idols at least under Athena’s leadership in this stained glass painting (notably all the visibly non-human Idols/hangers on are at the bottom, and Hecate, Asterion and especially Medusa are the characters most affected and confined by the oppressive status quo Athena upholds)...

this one! sing it with me now EVERYBODY LEAVES THIS PLACE ALIVEEE ok we can move on

you know, some possible Subtext and Implications going on here, I’d say. (It is only potential subtext and implication, though, so, you know, take my extrapolations here with a grain of salt!) He certainly doesn’t do himself many favors with the persona he’s built up in regards to being trusted and included either, but his status as a little bit of an outsider does seem to precede that so I feel like it’s more of a response than the main cause. Along the same lines he gets much more testy about the Green route of ‘I Can Teach You’ than he does about you just not choosing him in the Red one, he takes that pretty gracefully. So it is the being deliberately kept on the outside and openly distrusted and dismissed that gets to him. (To be clear I don't think openly distrusting a strange guy showing up in your living room like that is at all unreasonable either haha I just think the nuances of his response are enlightening as to where he's really coming from)

this one isn't even to illustrate anything it's just because I love him so much and think he's pretty I'll be real with you all

Anyway I just keep thinking about how incredibly tender it would be if sometimes, when they’re in private, Grace takes his glasses off to see his eyes better and he lets her. That shakes something deep in my soul apparently. That fucks me up but like in a good way.

APOLLO

- Apollo’s style of dress leaves his navel helpfully exposed for the copious amounts of depressed gazing he habitually subjects it to. (I say this not entirely without affection.) 

a crumpled tissue of a man

In keeping with his incredibly emo mode, there’s very little colour involved and he doesn’t take much care to present anything with care (look at the state of that shirt and tell me if Apollo has picked up an iron in the last forty years), BUT interestingly he’s not entirely open and unadorned, he does wear that network of jewelry across his chest and neck. Which I think is to show that the old Apollo is not entirely gone (“There he is, god of the sun”), even if he has been a sack stuffed with sad for a long time now. I wonder how many of these things are leftover preferences from being only Lucas — presumably the tattoos at least are from before he fished Apollo up from the sea? If I’m reading the vibes right on that, the blue of the tattoos and the gold of the sun… thingy he wears with the jewelry are the main splashes of colour in his design aside from his hair, and they’re both ‘leftovers’ from both his previous lives, surfer bro and solar deity recently fallen on hard times. Physically he would be tall and imposing, parodically built, except that he carries himself with all the confidence and panache of a damp depressed dishrag. 

Also I can’t believe this guy is walking around everywhere in sandals. Apollo makes sad flip-flop sounds wherever he goes, including when he steps up during ‘The Trial’. That’s so amazingly pathetic (affectionate). 

We can see from the photo with him and Calliope that he wasn’t always quite this much of a mess. Once, he did his shirt up a whole maybe four buttons and wore something that wasn’t beige!

Intellectually I acknowledge that it's a design meant to provide fanservice, even though I personally could not consider this guy in a sexual or romantic light if you gave me a thousand years to build up to it. (I've said it before but if he's anything to me, he is the incredibly fail father figure continually letting me down in tiny ways I never had.) Godspeed to the Apollo-enjoyers out there, though, Summerfall gave him those abs and that poor little meow meow energy just for you and it's your right to enjoy that

- Pan and Apollo also bring out some really interesting contrasts both as characters and designs when you hold them up against each other:  

Once you scratch the surface a tiny bit Pan clearly has just as much self-loathing as Apollo (“If Athena had taken me up on my offer, the Idols would have been better off” uh. Okay buddy we’re gonna have to process that one together later what do you say), but where Apollo is completely helplessly open in his misery at all times, you need to unbutton Pan at least three layers until you get a honest or straightforward emotion out of him and I think that’s amazingly carried through into their visual designs. It's Good Visual Storytelling Brent   

PERSEPHONE

- I’m fairly sure the colour of Persephone’s suit is supposed to evoke pomegranate seeds. See and judge for yourself I suppose: 

She also has details on her coat that depict foliage and growing plants, but colour-wise they and the rest of the detailing is in the blue-green that symbolizes the Underworld and so death. Her jewelry is gold, which — and I’m about to do some reaching here, I’ll be big enough to own — could play in with Hades being the god of riches as well as of the dead/the underworld. Probably it’s because it works well with the colour scheme, but I’m going to pretend that it’s because even if she didn’t get the throne she did get that motherfucker’s hoard when she killed him <3 Love that for her. Her jewelry is more rose gold than Apollo’s yellow gold, too. Watch me go for even more of a reach: between the necklace and the watch, those round discs of gold remind me of the coins put on the eyes of the dead but like you know repurposed since she doesn't need them to pay the Ferryman. I never promised I'd be reasonable in this did I.  

The short hair works real well for the butch vibe and looks amazing no notes, but I think it’s also a deliberate way to differentiate herself from her younger self — when speaking of Demeter’s death, she says that moment was also the final death of that young her, ‘that girl with the long hair who loved her gardens’. Clearly the Idols do a lot of reinventing themselves over the ages in more and less conscious ways.

She has a tattoo of what looks to be foliage and a skull across her left chest and arm. I really like that idea of her having the testament to both sides of her — goddess of spring, queen of the underworld — directly on her skin, under two layers of clothes that each represent those aspects. The one on her arm looks like stalks of grain tied together to resemble the bones of the hand/forearm, maybe? which is metal as fuck, needless to say. 

She is TALL and scary and the staging always plays that up, Grace tends to look up at her like O.O. I love how sharp she is too. 

Also she is incredibly hot but you don’t need me to tell you that you all have eyes I assume. 

EROS, APHRODITE and VENUS:

- I love literally everything about Eros’ design except his hair. Not even the concept of the haircut and colours or anything, just the way it’s rendered. It looks like one strange flat cap I can’t quite make understandable in three dimensional space as hair in my head lol. Other than that it’s a banging design though, the delicate see-through material over the leather BDSM harness is genius. Choosing this form of sensuality and attractiveness for him to embody -- one that is so deeply queercoded -- also works super well. The warmth and vulnerability of his body language on top of it is *chef's kiss*. just. please define his hair a bit more and it's perfect haha.

- I'm not sure I have that much to say about Aphrodite’s design except that of course she is beauty she is grace etc., it takes a lot of thought to make such a simple design shine and by god did they do it she’s so stunning. Also interesting how her dark blues and greens with cool/silvery details contrast with Venus’ warm reds and pinks and… brass? Idk I don’t really understand jewelry haha. All warmth and soft romanticism, anyway, it looks nice. (Side note but I love Venus’ rose tattoo.) Eros and Venus have much more matching colour schemes and they both bring those islands of warmth standing around Aphrodite in her shimmering ocean coolness. (Which of course is something she has to deliberately put on before going into public these days, and is unselfconsciously glamorous in the way of an old timey Hollywood starlet, as the blue route of 'The Ritual' lampshades)

:') *whisper* everybody...

Venus is wearing pearls, which is pleasing considering her connection to Aphrodite (and the backgrounds of the 'Lost in a Moment' variant of 'The Ritual')! and both of her and Aphrodite's outfits go for a shoulderless look to great effect.

ETA: When the camera is close on Aphrodite you can actually see that she has dark circles under her eyes, only partially covered by the makeup :'( I didn't notice that before I played through 'The Ritual' on a bigger screen today

All in all I just want to acknowledge what a fantastic job the character designers at Summerfall Studios have done! There are some really fresh new takes on these mythological figures here, and it makes so much sense within the world the game presents without resorting to well-worn and tired iconography, I really do admire it greatly.

#stray gods #stray gods pan #stray gods apollo #stray gods persephone #stray gods eros #stray gods aphrodite #sorry about the varying quality of the screenshots I have done my best lmao #if there's anywhere you can get the sprites in high resolution I couldn't find it so uh well be gentle lol #it's SO hard to track down scenes where you see them all in full figure and decent clarity #stray gods meta #meta #i don't even know if this is coherent anymore but it IS out of my head which is what I needed it to be haha I am free!! for now

[kshaar]

"cannot continue"

In the first conversation with Eros, about who he is, he says, "I preferred Cupid, but Pan had to be the trickster and spread those stupid stories." So stories are apparently how idols change. No wonder they didn't change for the millennia that they were in hiding and nobody was telling (or changing) stories about them. Or they don't remember their history which is no longer being told in stories. This thread continues in the epilogue: (Either) Aphrodite is doing well surrounded by "adoring masses"- presumably because there are now stories being told about her.

Eidolon literally means "a representation of an idealized figure".

Freddie says in the context of Persephone, how it would suck if people thought your story ended at [whatever arbitrary point in your past] even though you continued living. Dialogue with every single person in the club before you meet Persephone makes it a point to note how she's scary, how angry, how everyone's afraid of her.

Once you get through to her, though, she wants to actively help. She jumps to "we" so fast. She actively helped Calliope before they ever became friends, she helped Chastity, she goes out of her way to change things, all the way back to what happened with Hades. She says, "I changed", but as long the story is that she's Hades' wife, the change cannot take, even if she killed him, she couldn't become the Queen.

I think it's the other way round too. Without stories, I don't think Idols can change. And other than the inherent commentary, this has fascinating implications for the future of this world. They're affected by peoples' beliefs (of course, they're gods), they're out in public, and for the first time in so long, they are GOING to change.

#stray gods #stray gods meta #this thought brought to you from the fact that Persephone is a 100% the kind of person to do thoughtful & helpful things #but if anyone acknowledged it she would accuse them of ruining her reputation #and here 'ruining' an idol's reputation potentially could actually change who they are #from a virginal fertility goddess to an angry hard bitter woman sure but also perhaps in the other direction?

[videogamelover99]

You know what's wild? Chuuya understands Dazai more than frickin Dazai understands Dazai. There are so many instances where Dazai feels emotions and cannot comprehend where they are coming from. Chuuya took one look at him and his whole nihilism thing and was like "Bitch that's me. Thanks I hate it."

#cause hes not afraid of having emotions and caring like dazai is~ #this is specifically about that hallucination scene in sb #dazai does something and doesnt know where it came from #chuuya: god youre so fucking stupi- #bsd #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk #bsd meta #chuuyas demon is dazai who is also coincedentally dazai's demon and i think thats very sexy of them

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :’ ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, 後は頼んだよ, “I will leave the rest to you.”

And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. He’s been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything he’s ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazai’s words and actions, and just when he’s finally started to feel like he’s found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigma’s trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazai’s dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodor’s. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what he’s been seeking his whole life).

But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesn’t have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light we’ve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the “I leave the rest to you” panel too). The “No” could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldn’t have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that he’s still going to try to save him, that he wasn’t wrong about him, and it’s all because Dazai’s earnest expressions get through to him.

And it’s just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :’ ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action we’ve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Oda’s and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isn’t actually going to die, he’ll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didn’t foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. There’d be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; that’d just be cruel. No, I don’t think he saw this coming, and it’s important that that turns out to be the case: it’s important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But it’s still so beautiful to see how much he’s changed, and how much he’s truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isn’t infallible, but in turn didn’t hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :’ ) 💖

There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigma’s ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, it’s possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesn’t go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I don’t want, tbh; that’s endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed “ordinary man” -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. 💖

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 106.5 #meta #this chapter was literally everything i could have wanted i am SO EMOTIONAL #I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT #ASAGIRI GIVING ME LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER COULD HAVE WANTED #DAZAI HAS GROWN SOOOO MUCH HE'S BECOME SO MUCH LIKE ODA I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD 😭😭😭💖💖💖 #as soon as i saw that big panel of his face i was like........ he looks like oda......... ASAGIRI I SEE YOUUUUUU #AND THE FINAL WORDS #I SEE YOUUUUUUUUUU #ISTG IF DAZAI THINKS ABOUT ODA WHEN HE THINKS HE'S GONNA DIE BEFORE HE GETS SAVED I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST #ASAGIRI PLEASE THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY I WILL CRYYYYYYY 😭🥺🥹💖 #Dazai was so much like Oda here and Sigma looked just like Atsushi in that one panel DONT TOUCH MEEEE #THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS SO PERFECT #I NEED SIGMA TO SAVE HIM NOW #the longest chapter we've gotten in AGES and it was a banger god bless #tbh i really needed this after season 4 lmao i needed a reminder of why i love this series so much :''''') something to soothe my rage #asagiri saw my bitterness at anime sigma and was like 'here u go babe i got your sigma and dazai and oda feast' #probably means next month will be short again and a pov change lmao 🥲💔 #gonna enjoy this while it lasts #anyway i was really happy to see that moment of Sigma getting mad even if it didn't last long (and for a beautiful reason) #because he Deserved that #(because that's what i wrote in my fic and i feel vindicated now even if that wasn't the main focus of this chapter looool oops-)

[noose-lion]

ASAGIRI SAVED US!!! BLESS THE GREAT WRITER!!! HALLOWED BE HIS NAME!!!

#thank god #anyway memes on the way as usual #bsd #my stuff #screaming into the void #and the void screams back #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bsd spoilers #bsd manga #bsd meta #kafka asagiri #jester thinks

[astridianmayfly]

i know that we clown on the “there is a dog l o o s e in the archives” situation a lot, but i’m kind of obsessed with the symbolism of the spaniel. it’s just...ugh. the image of jon recording his first statement, doomed from the second he sits down at the desk where Gertrude died, and he’s interrupted with news about the dog. it’s annoying, it’s inconvenient--just like his subordinate who delivers the news. 

Jon’s right. Martin doesn’t belong in the archives, but by elias’s and the web’s insistence some twist of fate he’s there, anyways. 

Martin can’t save anyone. The dog changes nothing--subtextually, it’s clearly written as a joke. But it is important that they--bright spots in unlikely places--ran in to the darkness of Jon’s life and the story, respectively

#meta meta something something #listen i fucking love dog symbolism don't get me started on punisher the album #stray italian greyhound? fuck yeah #also mitski #grace's iconic animatic made me think about this I've never heard anyone say it before #also? the role of humor and fluff in horror fiction is SOOO important #this is why the dog and martin are you a ghost lmao are critical to the story #this was why i loved IT (2017) bc it was fucking hilarious and scared the shit out of me #as god intended #tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #tma season 5 spoilers #jmart #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jarchivist #martin is the dog in the archives surprise

[requiem626k]

Do you think Connor and Kunikida would get along?

*giggles with excitement*

You can't even guess how wide my smile was after reading your ask. Thank you so much for having this big brain idea and sending it to me, oh mon dieu. 

Short answer before going on with all the detailed ramblings: Yes. Yes, I think they would. By the way, the “Connor” I’ll be talking about in the rest of my response is not Machine!Connor or Deviant!Connor, it’s just... Connor himself as a whole, who’s started off as a detective but now is starting to notice weird things in his program.

Connor is a “man” of duty. He values diligence and details, and he always seeks to accomplish his mission. For Kunikida, the punctual and perfectionist man that he is, I can’t even imagine how important these character traits are. At the beginning, when Connor is still all machine-like and distant, Kunikida would feel more comfortable than he has ever felt around “human beings”. As we’ve subtly seen through the manga, Kunikida always subconsciously tries to dismiss all the feelings that could “get in the way” and to behave only with his “logic”, even though things almost never go down that way. He isn’t fully aware that his ideals are more shaped around his inner emotional world than what his logic says. 

Regarding all this, I could say that Connor is his “ideal colleague”, and he considers him as such until he witnesses how far Connor can go just to accomplish his mission: overlooking human lives and judging them only through “probabilities of survival”. That is something that directly clashes with Kunikida’s ideals. Encountering that kind of event would cause the primary shock to Kunikida and would push him to seriously ponder on what it meant to be human and what androids could be “lacking”. Because in theory, everything with Connor was perfect to him; a determined predator going after his prey no matter what, fighting to assure a less dangerous and more ideal world, unable to have any kind of unnecessary feelings that could cloud his judgement, he’s everything that Kunikida would’ve dreamt to be. In theory.

Now, from Connor’s point of view, Kunikida would be an incredibly “useful” partner because he wouldn’t have a prejudice/hatred towards androids like Hank did. He wouldn’t feel under threat around him, and he could count on Kunikida to provide him any kind of authorisation or tools. But things would drastically change after Kunikida witnesses the irrefutable proof his “soulless machinery” that he did his best to ignore until then; which I believe would cause their only major dispute. He would explain Connor his ideals, his ideal world where no one dies before their eyes no matter what, and this would enormously conflict Connor’s program. To think that there would be so many things to consider, so many factors that could come into play that could lead to making a difficult judgement -- or even worse, to failing a mission! -- doesn’t make sense to him.

After that point, I just see Kunikida trying to give Connor subtle messages to push him out of his comfort zone -- to force him to deviate. He’d know it’s illegal. He’d know it’s prohibited. But, as always, he’d think with his heart without knowing it.

He’d make Connor listen to classical music and ask him about his opinion on it, stopping him when he proceeds to cite the instruments. No, the technical information doesn’t interest Kunikida. He wants to know how it makes him feel.

He’d make Connor write down whatever is on his mind. He’d invite him to attempt writing poems with him. He’d take him out to walks, talk to him about his experiences with his outer world and more importantly, inner world. He’d talk to him about the physical consequences of human emotions like fear, hope, love, passion, jealousy, happiness, sadness, lust. 

About how beautiful those feelings are.

A month ago, he could’ve sworn he hated those feelings that he deemed useless. But now that he knows what it means to be without them... He starts embracing it. Noticing the little gentle flickers that appear in Connor’s eyes gives him the hope he needs to go on.

Their relationship would be, without a doubt, a hard one at times; but it’d be absolutely therapeutic for both of them.

#detroit become human #bungou stray dogs #dbh connor #bsd kunikida #connor rk800 #kunikida doppo #dbh #bsd #dbh meta #bsd meta #i may or may have not teared up a little #god they both mean so much to me #this was a bit kunikida-centric in terms of pov but i couldn't help it as this is quite self-indulgent #i hope my thoughts aren't extremely all over the place #req writes #Zai

[vendettasfanfictioning]

The way watching BSD S4 is bringing up so many parallels to mind is fucking insane, I did not ask for this information !!!!!

#GOD i can write a whole essay about this #maybe i should #*looks over at my academic to-do list* #maybe i should when i get the time lmao #BUT THE MOST INTERESTING THING I JUST REALIZED #is how diametrically opposed fukuzawa and mori are. even narratively !!!!! #never noticed this before bec i haven't read the origins of the ada yet and that's on me BUT #fukuzawa's son figure being this lonesome boy wandering through life without a path or ideal?????? #the son figure who's just so god damn smart it seems like he's got an Ability??? which he is then used (or ppl attempted to use him) for??? #in contrast to mori's daughter figure who's like... super OP and treated like a fucking god for her ability??? #the daughter figure who's headstrong and knew she wanted to help people slowly losing herself due to the war and mori himself??? #THIS WAS A TIME OF WAR EVERYONE WAS SO FUCKED UP BUT BY GOD!!!! WAS THIS SO!!!! #and here's a toast to asagiri kafka you smart son of a bitch you knew what you were doing #i love love love the narrative so much and i also want to stab mori with his scalpels repeatedly (affectionate) #bsd #bsd meta #bungo stray dogs #bsd s4

[userpeggycarter]

@lgbtqcreators creator bingo 💖 animation.

PEGGY WEEK 2024

day seven — birthday extravaganza 🥳

OMG its Blorbo Bleebus!

[in ● sp] [id under the cut]

gifset about Peggy Carter from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

gif 1 of 7. two close-up shots of Peggy are blended together. at the middle, there's a static image of Peggy with her arms crossed. the text says, "OMG this motherfucker is Peggy Carter".

gif 2 of 7. two gifs of Peggy are blended together. there are stats bars at the bottom of the gif. the pairings (extremities) are:

just some guy - the protagonist of life head empty - too many thoughts awful company - ray of sunshine hated by all - loved by all trauma 3000 - untouched by history sadistic for fun - helps others for fun stupid as shit - scary-smart 1000 weapons - 1000 tools enemy of god - at peace with life break the rules - change the rules

gif 3 of 7. two shots of Peggy are blended together, one of them being of Captain Carter. the text says, "evokes" and the options are the following:

spontaneous gushing powerful violent urges raw, unbridled affection the horny meta-posting on main creative drive defensive feelings distraction delight symptoms of projection absent-minded doodles on tabletops the most godawful takes known to mankind

all options have a checkmark next to them.

gif 4 of 7. two close-up shots of Peggy are blended together. there's a chart at the center of the gif, titled "subclass". the subclasses are:

angst lady enemy of the state friend shaped girlboss soft and sweet brain cell haver just like you fr aspirational character chew toy

the angst lady, enemy of the state, girlboss, brain cell haver and aspirational character options are marked with a circle.

gif 5 of 7. two shots of Peggy are blended together. at the center of the gif, there are three stats (intense, complex, and fruity) with 10 points each. Peggy has all 30 points. while the intense and complex points are green, the fruity ones have the colors of the bisexual flag (blue, pink, and purple). at the bottom left corner, there's a big asterisk with the following text next to it: if you or a loved one is attached to a character that fills all of these boxes, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

gif 6 of 7. two close-up shots of an animated Peggy are blended together. the text says, "you want them to have...". the list is the following:

a better time less trauma more romance more friends catharsis revenger sympathy a better situation more healing more sex The Realization and a trademark symbol next to it.

all options have a checkmark next to them.

gif 7 of 7. two shots of Peggy are blended together, a close-up and her silhouette entering a room. "select all that apply", the text says. the list is the following:

tragic backstory? orphan? frequently violent? divorced? has enemies? sidekick owner? no friends? pets stray animals? chronic insomniac? murderer?

there's a checkmark next to "tragic backstory", "frequently violent", "has enemies", "sidekick owner", "pets stray animals", and "murderer". each checkmark has a color that corresponds to a small static image at the bottom of the gif. the tragic backstory one is an image of Peggy crying. the frequently violent one is an image of her holding a gun. has enemies: a picture of Dottie. sidekick owner: a picture of her and Jarvis. pets stray animals: a picture of Peggy holding a puppy. murderer: yet another picture of her holding a gun. end ID.

#* #marveledit #peggycarteredit #peggy carter #agent carter #peggyweek2024 #marveladdicts #womenofmcu #usergif #ladiesofcinema #femalecharacters #cinemapix #moviegifs #filmgifs #filmtvtoday #fyeahmovies #televisiongifs #cinematv #tvarchive #usertiny #userelysia #userpegs #usereme #userrin #usertreena #userlaro #userarwen #useralien #uservalentina

[vaguely-concerned]

BEHOLD! The list of evidence for my bold claim that Pan and Freddie dislike each other ferociously on sight because they are, in some key ways and despite appearances, very similar people: 

- First instinct upon seeing Grace sad is to try to make her laugh to cheer her up. (See: Freddie’s very first lines in the game starting off as she means to go on, and about half the things Pan ever says or does lol. In the last scene with him before The Trial you can even tell him you’re there just because you wanted to talk to him and have something cheer you up.) General sources of levity and fun and play in Grace’s life if you seek them out. 

- They react with similar anxiety to the idea of Grace being really angry with them (Freddie’s surprised/dismayed “Why are you angry at me?!” in the red route of ‘I Can Teach You’, the millenia-old god of the wild hiding behind a tree for ten minutes because he thinks Grace might be about to yell at him lmao <3)

- Both of them seem to have similar interpersonal insecurities in general, judging by the enforced choice between them in ‘I Can Teach You’ (I love you both so much but oh my god. is this a constructive use of time or energy under the circumstances lol), softened and alleviated by the fact that at the end of the day the most important thing to either of them is that Grace is happy. It isn’t possessiveness, but there is an element of underlying ‘Hey. Hey I am your favorite right?? 🥺’ insecurity there that trips them both up to begin with. Once you play the game and go back to look at this scene again knowing everyone’s real motivations, they’re even coming from the same place deep down — genuine fear for Grace’s safety and wanting to help her. (Freddie uncomplicatedly out of love🥹, and Pan at that stage probably more out of a guilty sense of responsibility, though he does seem to take a shine to Grace herself pretty quickly as well. Also he demonstrably isn’t, uh. Completely wrong in saying Freddie’s involvement in this whole mess is likely to end in tears, even if he is being a real dick about it) 

- If you don’t choose either in ‘I Can Teach You’, they both show up within minutes of each other to watch Grace’s back in the Medusa quest anyway. One brain cell ping pong and no one notices because they keep trying to swat each other with the racquets whenever Grace glances away for a second

Sidenote but flirting with both of them one after the other in that quest is fucking hilarious, they’re just taking turns ‘Really? Right in front of my salad?’-ing directly at the camera (...listen I feel that there is a chance that as long as they kept Grace between them the whole time there could be a thing here. I think a possible universe out there where it happens at least once does exist if one cared to go seek it out. That’s all I’m saying.) 

- Seems a bit obvious but what else am I here for: both very drawn to Grace no matter what main trait you choose. Whether this is true vice versa is of course player-dependent, but it is one way you can play the game. 

- Incredibly similar defensive reactions to being picked on or sniped at (and no hesitation whatsoever in subjecting each other to exactly that immediately anyway haha) 

- A bit dark when you think about it, but they both express the sentiment that it would be better for them to step in and die if it means Grace lives. (Freddie very directly of course ;______; and then in ‘It’s time’, Pan in ‘The Trial’ and the little talk you have with him later in Athena’s office.)  

Matching ‘ride or die’ instincts once awoken, is what I’m getting at. Freddie gets extra points for sheer longevity and constancy, Pan gets extra points for getting there in a week. You’re both unhinged (affectionate) 

- They’re the only ones among the main cast wearing green, right? I think I’ve got that right? Well, Charon does too, I suppose, but he’s a bit more peripheral. (Persephone and Aphrodite wear blue-green, but that seems more associated with death and the underworld and the river of grief everyone keeps using as a metaphor throughout the game.) Somehow I find the idea/metaphor that once you get Pan out from under like three layers of bullshit he’s the same colour as Freddie (who is inarguably The symbol of devotion and steadfastness in this game no matter your choices) quite sweet. 

- Nerds. You know I am right. Slightly different kinds of nerd (Freddie is distinctly geek-flavoured and Pan collects rare books for sport sort of distinction), but still. Oh my god. Freddie should get the whole cast together to play D&D in the Reliquary post-game. It would be absolute carnage. It would be glorious hilarity. *GASP* no wait not the Reliquary, let’s go to the Underworld so Charon gets to play too. For the love of all that is good give this to me now please I need it 

- The only two people who think Freddie losing control of her powers and causing a dance number at a funeral is hilarious

In short this is a recognition of the self through the other (derogatory) situation for both of them and neither of them decides to take that with any dignity or grace (ahaha) in the slightest, I love them very much,  thank you and goodnight 

#stray gods #stray gods freddie #stray gods pan #grace x freddie #grace x pan #grace x freddie x pan #stray gods meta #if you could grace this thing with that word it's mostly for book keeping reasons for myself haha

[bengiyo]

Why Do I Tag So Many Creators in My Posts? It’s About Respect

Earlier today I was talking with @sophsloveskpop in the notes of a post, and was asked about all of the interaction between blogs in the posts and essays about the shows. I’ve noticed an uptick in new names interacting with posts (and making great posts of their own!) and wanted to talk about why I do it and why I like fandom on Tumblr.

Fundamentally, I think it’s generally good courtesy to acknowledge when someone else has expressed a similar idea to your, or an idea that intrigues you. I think it’s best to tag that person and link to their post so that others can also experience it. It also opens you up to a dialogue with them and others.

People Like Getting Their Flowers

If someone posts an analysis or even a quirky idea that I felt the need to think about, I will mention them in my posts. None of the great content we get on here is necessarily quick to make. I absolutely love all of the gifmakers who fight against Photoshop, Tumblr, and God Himself to post snippets of shows on here for us. I wouldn’t be able to flesh out some of my posts, illustrates points, or otherwise breakup walls of text without @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, or @gabrielokun. Whenever I can’t find the gif I’m looking for through Tumblr’s terrible gif search, I reach out to one of them for permission to use their gifs directly.

Also, many of us just like being acknowledged that someone we wrote meant something to someone else. Every time I get tagged by someone in an essay I’m like:

It’s a Conversation

I don’t think fandom is about being the smartest person or the most correct person. My basic framework I’m writing from is Black Gay Nerd Who Watches a Lot of Stuff. It’s what I’m most familiar with personally, and I find that people have really responded to that.

I’ve been around for a very long time, and have been seeing folks like @so-much-yet-to-learn around the entire time, who often has more specific information about fandom life during the airing of shows. @absolutebl and @heretherebedork have watched more BL than I have, and I’ve seen at least 250 productions. ABL has some of the most comprehensive posts collecting some of the history.

I made so many friends after diving into @shortpplfedup DMs to talk about sustainable urbanism and bonding over our shared geography. Now we run @the-conversation-pod together. Through them I befriended so many others, like @elnotwoods and @kyr-kun-chan.

I’m not a color theory expert, and so I love reading posts from @respectthepetty and others (I think @sliceduplife writes about color too).

We wouldn't even have my favorite show without @isaksbestpillow.

I know what shows are coming because of @clairificusrex.

I don’t know much about music theory, but @iguessitsjustme write some great stuff about the music in these shows.

I don’t always read the body language of hands as closely as someone like @wen-kexing-apologist might.

I am not Asian, and so I like reading from @waitmyturtles, @telomeke-bbs, and @neuroticbookworm. I know that @recentadultburnout and @airenyah offer useful perspective on Thai language.

Sometimes folks are going to narrow down on specific shows and consistently write about them for years on side blogs like @miscellar.

Some people have studied so much and bring specific academic lenses to the genre that I find compelling, like @emotionallychargedtowel.

In many cases, I just vibe with them really hard, like @ginnymoonbeam.

I actually didn’t always post as much as I do, but I try to keep up my Stray Thoughts project so that people can keep track of what I’m watching. I used to write less meta, but then I befriended @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan. Any time I say anything remotely thoughtful Shan is like:

Also, though, this is Tumblr! It’s easy to tag each other and link to each other’s posts! This is what makes us different from every

Isn’t It Just More Fun?

I don’t enjoy shows passively. I grew up in a family that watched things together. My mom, dad, sister, and I all have differing tastes from each other, but we watched a lot of different things together. My friends and I discussed the things we watched at school.

I’m a big fan of the water cooler approach to TV show distribution, which basically says you want your show to be the show people are talking about on their breaks at work. I always like Film Crit Hulk’s theory that movies (and our dramas) are the proverbial campfires around which we gather to share ourselves with each other.

This is all supposed to be fun, and I have more fun when we interact. I get tagged daily by @blmpff about updates from sets, or when we all need to rush to IG to make sure Fluke Pongsakorn doesn’t cut his hair. When @bl-bam-beyond makes a new set or post they let me know, and they recently rewatched Noah’s Arc! I made friends with @gillianthecat in the last year or so, and it’s been fun seeing her make her way through fandom. I always get excited with @troubled-mind pings me in a post because I know it’s going to give me something to chew on. I didn’t have a genuine appreciation for kink culture until I watched along with @lutawolf. If something funny is happening in fandom I know @benkaaoi is going to tag me. I still get excited when @heukheuk pops up in my mentions.

I know I’ve probably forgotten so many people alone the way here, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you.

Tag Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

So seriously, tag people and link to their posts. Try to use the giffmakers specific tags when you’re using the search feature. Fandom is better when we all interact respectfully and enthusiastically with each other. Tumblr is special because it lets us create goofy little essays like this and tag dozens of people just to get their attention.

If you have a cool thought about a show I’m watching, tag me. If you see something funny, tag me in the comments. If you wanna hash out an idea before posting it, DM me. This is Tumblr. Don’t be shy with your thoughts. It’s okay to be wrong on the internet. It’s actually fun to be wrong on the internet about show predictions!

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

#Ben writes #fandom life #tumblr life

[wen-kexing-apologist]

WKA Gay Analysis Assembly

Hello! Welcome to my blog, please note I am unhinged about my silly little gay shows and as evidence I give you an exhaustive list of all the analysis posts (and some non-analysis posts) I have written :)

I will be updating this post as I write more, and the most recent show I am watching/writing about will be listed first. Please know my DMs and my Inbox are always open!

By, For, and About Queers (The By, For, and About Queers posts are not about any particular show, and are instead a little write up of the way I categorize the BL shows that I am watching)

By/For/About- Part 1 (a conversation with @absolutebl)

By/For/About- Part 2 (a conversation with @solitaryandwandering) Also check out the really lovely response from @solitaryandwandering here

Toxic and Messy: TharnType v. Only Friends (aka We Trust Jojo) (a conversation with @absolutebl and @respectthepetty)

The Sign

Feelings Made Visible: Design Choices in The Sign

Fantasy v. Reality in The Sign

Last Twilight

Episode 1 Thoughts (in which I state my fears that were later realized)

Reflections in Last Twilight (Episode 1-2)

Physical Touch in Last Twilight (Episodes 1-3)

Thoughts on Last Twilight, Ep. 5 (aka when I still thought the show was good)

Last Twilight, Ep 12 (in which I rant about the ableism in the narrative and the undermining of the show's themes)

Shadow

Shadow thoughts

The Left Hand of God

Is Brother Anurak the One Armed Man?

What Happened to Trin? aka Paying Attention to my Favorite Straight Boy

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Let's Talk About Sex: ESSAY #69!!! (breakdown of the sex scene in IFYLITA Episode 8)

Only Friends Academic Essay Series

Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture

Only Friends and Respectable Promiscuity

Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians Everything else

Ray and Rehab

Boston the Slut

Hypocrisy

Who is Mew, Anyway?

You're Mine No Matter What: The Commodification of Sand

Explosions (fight night round two, Ep. 6)

Fight Night (scene breakdown of the fight in Episode 5)[Sand Addition by @ranchthoughts]

Poor Boy (a discussion on the beloved Poor Boy t-shirt)

Watch The Warp Effect before Only Friends

Misunderstanding Top? (a conversation with @respectthepetty)

What the Fuck is Boeing Doing Here?

Only Friends Reflection

My Ride

Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity

My Ride Finale

Be My Favorite (how did I get here, I wasn't planning on watching this!)

Permanence in BMF (in conversation with @stuffnonsenseandotherthings)

Lack of Touch in BMF (in conversation with @wanderlust-in-my-soul and @dropthedemiurge)

Cupid's Last Wish 1. Trans Allegory in Cupid's Last Wish (in partnership with @so-much-yet-to-learn and @lurkingshan)

La Pluie

The Language of Love In La Pluie Ep. 8

Ep. 8 Stray Thoughts

Hands in Ep. 7

Hands in Ep. 6

Subversion (a conversation with @lurkingshan)

Pee Peerawich Can Fucking Act

Connection

Body Language in La Pluie Ep. 12

Step by Step

On the Subject of Pat 2.0- A Defense

On the Subject of Pat- A Timeline (a conversation with @waitmyturtles)

Totally Normal About Episode 7

Lighting in Ep 9 (a conversation with @istanchan)

Going Out- Sharing Space with the Unhoused

Compartmentalizing

Workplace Homophobia and Relationship Development Between Pat and Jeng

Our Skyy 2

OS2 x The Eclipse - Characterization

OS2 x BB x ATOTS- Phupa and Queerness aka Damn You WMT (that's right! Damn you, @waitmyturtles!)

OS2 x BB x ATOTS- Validation! aka Phupa and Queerness- Part 2 (and a shout out to @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles for writing such brilliant meta I almost...almost didn't have to write one myself)

Pat, Pran, Losing Parental Relationships, and Sex (a conversation with @shortpplfedup)

Our Dining Table

Silence (including conversation with @laowen)

Yutaka and Yukata

Bed Friend

True Colors? (a conversation with @dribs-and-drabbles and @respectthepetty)

Uea and Red

Reflections + Uea and Yellow

Uea and Gray (a conversation with @respectthepetty) Uea and Gray but this time not tacked on to RTP's post

Mommy Dearest 2.0

Uea's Episode 7 Costumes

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 1

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 2

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 3 (this is my favorite of the parts)

Water, Songkran, and KingUea

Moonlight Chicken

Heart Confrontation Scene

Heart and Li Ming Colors and Stripes

Red, Wen, and Blue

Naming the Deaf Character Heart

Heart's Communication

Wen's Badge Parallel

Modern Thai Sign Language to American Sign Language Index

Heart's Vocalization

Mommy Dearest (Jam and Li MIng)

Isn't it Difficult to Be Born Poor?

Moonlight Chicken is for the Queers

Resolution

Heart's Signs Translated (this one is not mine, but I don't want to lose this post so I am placing it here)

Best Criers in MLC

Worst Parallel

Utsukushii Kare

Self-Deprecation Harms Everyone

Our Flag Means Death

Over-analyzing the Color Red

Silk as Symbolism for Ed's Heart

#la pluie #step by step #our dining table #bed friend #moonlight chicken #utsukushii kare #ofmd #our skyy 2 x bbs x atots #our skyy 2 x the eclipse #by for about #cupid's last wish #be my favorite #my ride #only friends the series #ofts #i feel you linger in the air #ifylita #shadow the series #last twilight the series #the sign the series

[prokopetz]

I like reading your opinions on videogames and I like horror games so I'm curious to know which horror games would you recommend?

If you've been following this blog for any length of time, it should not terribly surprise you that I'm more into the brainfucky existential horror side of the genre than the jump-scares-and-butcher-knives side of the genre. My horror library also has a tendency toward extreme body horror – basically, assume every title mentioned in this post carries a content warning for body horror unless otherwise noted. If neither of those are deal-breakers, I have a few suggestions:

Discover My Body – A short point-and-click visual novel that casts the player in the role of a medical student interviewing a volunteer test subject as their body is gradually consumed by a parasitic fungus. Minor audio-only jump scares at a couple of points as the subject screams or shouts.

Dreaming Sarah – A side-scrolling take on the Yume Nikki fan-game genre; i.e., you explore a series of dream worlds, aided by everyday objects which grant strange powers. One of the least explicitly horror-y entry on this list, though not without content warnings of its own: self-harm and suicidal ideation, in this case.

The Fall – A sort of pseudo-metroidvania that’s really more of a point and click adventure game in disguise. You play as a suit of powered armour’s onboard AI, tasked with getting your injured pilot to safety. Like a lot of psychological horror titles, this one’s secretly about interrogating gender roles, though not in the way you might expect.

OneShot – The gimmick here is that, as the Messiah, the protagonist is aware of, and can talk to, God; i.e., the player. Lots of meta puzzles that play with the nature of the medium. (e.g., adjusting the game window, messing with files on your hard drive, etc.) This one’s a pure psychological horror title with no violence or body horror to speak of.

Oxenfree – An investigative walking sim in which the player character and her companions become trapped in some sort of alternate dimension and/or time loop (it’s not initially clear) and have to figure out what’s going on in order to escape. Not so much body horror as this list’s other entries, but somewhat more jump scares.

Perfect Vermin – A short (and free) first-person puzzle game where the player's task is to identify alien creatures that are impersonating office furniture and beat them to death with a sledgehammer. The body horror in this one is of a very particular strand; if you've ever lost a relative to cancer, you may wish to steer clear!

Return of the Obra Dinn – A first-person logical deduction puzzler in which you take on the role of an insurance investigator exploring a merchant ship full of mutilated corpses, trying to figure out how each crew member died, aided by a magic stopwatch that lets you view brief snippets of the past.

Rusty Lake: Roots – Rusty Lake is a long-running series of Flash based point and click escape room puzzlers. Roots is one of the more approachable entry points; it’s gotten past the early-instalment jank, but isn’t yet so deep into the lore that it’s impossible to figure out what the hell is going on without consulting the fandom wiki.

Stray Cat Crossing – Picture one of those so-stylish-it-hurts indie JRPGs and subtract all the combat and you’ll have basically the right idea about this one. A couple of audio jump scares; additional content warnings for child injury and death, as well as one character that does the disability-as-body-horror thing. (Specifically, blindness.)

The Swapper – A physics puzzler where the player is given a cloning gun that lets them duplicate themselves and transfer (i.e., “swap”) their consciousness among the duplicates. The horror comes from a remarkably in-depth exploration of what the game’s mechanical gimmick implies about the nature of identity.

They Breathe – A short-form survival horror game (a typical playthrough takes about 15 minutes) where you play as a frog – like, not a mutant frog-person or anything, just a regular frog – exploring the depths of a flooded forest. In spite of the innocuous premise, probably one of the more fucked up titles on this list!

We Know the Devil – A choose-your-own-adventure style VN where three kids at a Christian summer camp are forced to participate in a bizarre ritual which will ostensibly culminate in them confronting, and defeating, the Devil. Additional content warnings for religious abuse of children and discussion of homophobic/transphobic violence.

I’m going to arbitrarily cap it at a dozen entries because I’d just keep going forever if I didn’t; however, if anything on this list particularly catches your eye, I may be able to offer more recommendations in a similar vein.

#gaming #video games #video game recommendations #body horror #ableism #violence mention #death mention #self harm mention #suicide mention #child abuse mention #religion mention #homophobia mention #transphobia mention #swearing

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Happy birthday Mushitarou!

The sad silly green man is one of the absolute best and also one of the most criminally underrated characters in all of BSD. I don’t have any fics or anything for him today (EVENTUALLY... eventually....), but I’ll share some headcanons for him (+others) that I have 💚 (part headcanons/part analysis tbh)

Under the cut cause uhhhh this got a lot longer than I expected it would ahaha, smh:

While I don’t think he had any particular falling-out with his family, I think Mushi is naturally isolated from them, and only became more closed off after his father died, someone whom he was especially close to and who shaped him into the good person that he is. He was lonely growing up in school, and Yokomizo was as well, even though it didn’t seem that way on the surface due to the latter being much more outgoing and extroverted; neither of them had anyone who truly understood and engaged with their interests (especially not Mushi after the loss of his father). Yokomizo was also estranged from his relatives, even more so after he became obsessed with writing, so he and Mushi became as close as family after enough time had passed – they really were all each other had, in so many ways.

Mushi already visited Yokomizo frequently enough as it is, without much else to do in his life, but began coming to see him even more often after he was told about Yokomizo’s terminal illness/given the request to kill him. Despite Yokomizo’s desire to finish his novel before his health deteriorated enough to be noticeable, he was unable to do so, and as time wore on, Mushi began to worry that something would happen to Yokomizo without anyone there to help, and took it upon himself to take care of him. Yokomizo’s urgency to finish his writing became more desperate, yet Mushi tried to keep him from pushing himself, which somewhat worked – there was an unspoken understanding that both were trying to put off the inevitable; for Mushi, it was out of utter denial of losing him and of what he’d have to do, and for Yokomizo, it was out of a sorrowful desire to spend as much time with Mushi as he still could, and guilt for the tremendously selfish and cruel thing he was ultimately asking of him, even as both of these emotions fought with his stubborn desire to go out the way he wanted to.

Mushi’s façade of hatred towards Yokomizo after killing him, although mostly a coping mechanism to distance himself from him and his grief, is not entirely without basis: a small part of him did want to genuinely hate Yokomizo for forcing this upon him, though ultimately a much larger part of him simply hated himself for doing something so unspeakable to the person he called his friend, even if it was asked of him.

Yokomizo, however, wanted Mushi to hate him over all, even if he never said this outright. The months leading up to his death were filled with worry for his friend, for the person who was essentially like a younger family member to him (not exactly a little brother, but… something akin to that. Although they’re probably around the same age, I feel like Yokomizo was more mature (not in every way though of course), and was protective over Mushi in a lot of ways); he knew Mushi very well, and he knew that Mushi would not cope well with his death at all, let alone what he was asking of him – he already wasn’t coping well. Mushi always had walls up and pretended to be arrogant, pretended to be selfish and not care about anyone but himself, but Yokomizo was the one person he was comfortable around, and he had long since practically become home for him: although their time together was never anything extravagant, he was able to bring him out of his shell, and force him to do and think about things he never would have otherwise, giving them both a happiness they each would have never otherwise known for so many years. But then that fragile peace they had together, that safety net, was being cruelly ripped away from them both, and the thought that Mushi would go back to being lonely, closed-off, and isolated after he was gone, drowning in his grief and with no one else to support him anymore, was more devastating to Yokomizo than even the fact that he was dying. As cruel and selfish as asking Mushi to kill him for his perfect crime was, I think a part of him felt it would be even crueler to force Mushi to watch him slowly wither away from illness (and he, too, dreaded and was terrified of having to go out like that, after so much drawn-out pain), and he selfishly hoped that Mushi’s hatred of him for forcing this upon him would overcome his grief, and the inevitable self-loathing he would have – yes, Mushi could hate him, needed to hate him, anything to keep him from hating himself. Of course, Yokomizo knew that wouldn’t happen, because Mushi was far too kind, far too caring, and far too selfless – anyone who would do so much for him for so many years as he had, especially after he became ill, and would willingly agree to go as far as to essentially euthanize him for his selfish final dream, no matter how much all of it hurt him, was truly the greatest friend anyone could ask for. Mushi was and is a beautifully selfless person, but he himself could never see it – only Yokomizo could, and so he knew exactly how he would respond, and worried about him immensely because of it. And that worry made him want to try to distance himself from Mushi as much as possible, to die as soon as possible, even, so it wouldn’t be even harder on him than it already would be… but in the end what won over that was his desire to make as many happy memories with him as possible in those final months, so they could somehow try to forget about what was coming, if only briefly; so that Yokomizo could, maybe, somehow, in some small way, believe that Mushi would be okay in the end after he was gone. :’ )

Continuing this, as part of those memories, I headcanon Yokomizo liked to dance with Mushi a lot, since there’s some art of them doing that 💚 Mushi also took Yokomizo out to various quiet place, like to see fireworks or the beach. He canonically doesn’t like the smell of the salty sea air (why? I have no clue), but I hc Yokomizo loved the sea, so Mushi went with him there at least once oops my Yokomizo Oda similarity headcanons are showing-

Yokomizo wanted Mushi to be happy, but it also worried him that his friend clearly bottled everything up and never allowed himself to cry, either. So seeing him cry in his last moments was a huge weight off his shoulders, and was somehow what ultimately convinced him that Mushi would one day be okay again. :’ )

At some point, probably multiple times, Mushi and Yokomizo had a discussion where Mushi tried to make sure that Yokomizo truly, sincerely wanted him to do what he was asking of him. Around and around, trying to talk him out of it, insisting that he hadn’t truly thought it through, but Yokomizo was always gently steadfast. After they settled on strangulation (poison, aside from being ruled out for the sake of the reader, was not what Yokomizo preferred when his body was already painfully killing itself from the inside), Mushi tried to suggest that he be given a strong sleeping pill/sedative before being killed so that he wouldn’t feel it, but Yokomizo insisted against it, as it would imply sympathy on the part of the killer, which couldn’t happen. His sickly state, although it wasn’t yet public while he was still alive, would already suggest a mercy killing and was putting the plan/general reception at risk enough as it was. </3

After killing Yokomizo, Mushi handled his body ever-so-delicately, tenderly, almost reverently, just as he had many times before while carrying him, as he strung him up the way he was instructed, and even as he cut off his ears. He took his time doing it, wanting to hold his friend close and memorize what he looked like for as long as he possibly could in these final moments, even though he felt like his hands didn’t have the right to touch him anymore. Then, after everything was in place and he’d fled the premises with the manuscript, he promptly threw up somewhere. :’ )

Yokomizo was the second person to give him the nickname “Mushi”, after Mushi’s father. No one else ever calls him that now; it’s a name reserved only for them.

Mushi struggles while trying to write at Poe’s mansion out of a feeling of inferiority compared to Yokomizo; writing and mysteries were never his passion, they were Yokomizo’s, and he was just indulging the latter’s hobbies. He has no right to claim the role of writer for himself, not now that he’s gone and when he was only ever in it for Yokomizo to begin with… and there’s no possible way he can ever create anything good or original, when they’d already talked at length about how everything in the mystery genre had already been done, and Yokomizo himself created the ultimate mystery that no one could ever possible top, least of all him.

But Poe knows that what he writes doesn’t need to be perfect or even good; Mushi only needs to do it as a form of therapy for himself, because it will bring him closer to his deceased friend, since mysteries are what they enjoyed most when he was alive. (and I honestly think Poe would understand and empathize Mushi very well, having been so isolated and lonely in the past himself before Ranpo essentially saved him just as Yokomizo did for him) Once he’s able to convey that to him, it gradually comes more naturally to Mushi and becomes comforting for him as Poe intended. 💚

Mushi forms a reluctant friendship with Karl over the course of his stay with Poe (inspired by this person’s art series of them together 🥹). It starts with Karl trying to help the first time Mushi has a nightmare there, and after that he starts bothering him/trying to get his attention in general, until Mushi slowly gives in, becoming begrudgingly fond of the little creature. Whenever he’s having a hard time, whether it be a nightmare or a panic attack or just listlessness, Karl is usually there for him, as his own personal therapy raccoon. 💚

To add to that, Mushi canonically dislikes thunder; I headcanon that when they were together during storms, Yokomizo always made sure to be even more chatty than usual, to distract Mushi from his fear of the noise. Once he’s at Poe’s mansion, when it storms, he suddenly realizes how much louder and scarier the thunder feels now… but of course he doesn’t let it show. Karl, however, notices his discomfort, and is there for him during storms now. :’ )

Post-series, in general, Mushi always brings treats for Karl whenever he meets up with Poe again. 💚

A headcanon plenty of people have, but Ango is absolutely crucial to Mushi’s journey of healing. Post-series, they have quite a few talks about their respective situations, and Ango is the one person Mushi ultimately (after enough time, of course) bears the most of his soul and his pain to, because Ango can empathize with him and understand his guilt/self-loathing/sorrow in a way none of the others can. Earlier on, Ango checks on Mushi the most (Ranpo and Poe do too though) to make sure that he’s taking care of himself, just like he occasionally does/did with Dazai.

Mushi starts wearing traditional clothes more often after Yokomizo’s death, including a few old things that used to belong to him, that are comforting to Mushi.

There aren’t many public photos of Yokomizo, since he was a rather private author. There is, however, only one single personal photo of him, one he roped a grumpy Mushi into taking with him once, his own expression being as sunshine-y and exuberant as always in contrast. Mushi cherishes it now :’ ) oops the buraiha trio vibes strike again

Because of his period of dealing with Yokomizo’s terminal illness, Mushi has some medical-related knowledge that the average person probably wouldn’t. It isn’t the kind of thing he wants to dwell on after Yokomizo’s death, and he can’t stand being around hospitals, for obvious reasons, but regardless, whether he’s consciously aware of it or not, he is especially compassionate/understanding towards those who are sick and disabled that he encounters. His time with Yokomizo has given him perspectives and philosophies about life that he wouldn’t otherwise have, and when he’s not trying to write strictly mysteries, it’s the sort of things that are evident in his writing. In a way, writing about it in general is healing for him, separate from mysteries being comforting to him solely because they’re associated with Yokomizo.

At some point, Mushi starts visiting Yokomizo’s grave together with Ango, Poe, and Ranpo, or sometimes just Ango. Similarly, he, Poe and Ranpo join Ango in visiting Oda’s grave. He and Ango each tell stories about their respective lost loved ones, so that more people will learn about and remember who they once were. 💚

With his ability, Ango is able to read the memories within the room Yokomizo was living in (or perhaps in objects Mushi owns), and see numerous happy memories he had with Mushi, long before his illness and death. With what he sees and conveys, Poe is able to write a small story of the memory, which he then gives to Mushi, allowing him to go into the story and relive the memory and see Yokomizo again for the first time in years. It’s not the real Yokomizo, and Mushi knows this – he’s long since stopped seeing the hallucination of him, because he’s healed enough by this point. But even so, just knowing that the book is there, that he can see his friend moving and talking again whenever he wishes – a version of Yokomizo that is just as happy and bright and energetic as he always remembered, without suffering from illness – is the greatest gift and kindness he could ever imagine receiving, and from his new friends no less, and it’s enough to make him cry, from how loved he truly is :’ ) 💚

I love Mushitarou sooooo much, and I truly hope he gets more attention in the future (can’t wait for tomorrow’s episode!!), because his story is so touching and his character so relatable and comforting 🥹 and I sincerely hope he finds his ultimate happiness in the manga one day. Happy birthday, you sweet, sentimental, pathetic (affectionate), goofy little gremlin man 💚

#bungou stray dogs #mushitarou oguri #meta #HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MUSHI TAKE MY ANGST-FILLED HEADCANONS #that will hopefully be fics someday. ha. haaaaaaah......... #'i dont have anything for his birthday :(' *writes 2.3k words of headcanons/character analysis dumping* typical me smh #'this will be short' narrator: it was not and never will be short #i just love him so much!!!! he's too underrated!!! more people need to talk about him *cries* #then again i feel like literally everyone who isn't skk or fyolai are underrated in one way or another in the bsd fandom sooooooo lol #but especially mushi </3 #it took me way too long to appreciate him but he is genuinely one of the best written characters in the series imo #up there with Oda #god #mark my words there's gonna be parallels between his and yokomizo's story later with fyolai #as there already is with him and oda & dazai #and then you all will see!!! the importance of his arc!!!! #him and ango too!!! aughhhhh i never get over how asagiri tied him and ango together so BEAUTIFULLY in a way that makes PERFECT SENSE #I'M NOT READY TO CRY TOMORROW FUCK 😭😭😭 #anyway stan mushitarou he is best boy #he could take down fyodor with one kick full stop #in fact i think that's what he deserves

[that-ari-blogger]

Chekhov's Gattling Gun, Part 1

Like a boat, lost at sea With no sails, not a breeze. I am drifting, cold waters No stars to be seen

Life isn't simple. You can't measure every moment in history on a scale of a to b. Life is like a collage, made from disparate materials stuck together, some organised, some more wild. But all of them collaborating into the great picture that is a single human being and their lived experience. This is true for everyone around you, and since no artwork is identical, no person can ever live the same way as anyone else.

Stories work in a similar fashion, with different threads getting tangled and twisted until, with one final pull, the full might of the tapestry is revealed, and the audience can marvel at the beauty, or reminisce about how they watched it come together.

Stray Gods: The Role Playing Musical is a fantastically complex and moving story, and two of the final songs, Adrift Reprise and The Trial serve as a climax in momentum, plot, and theme. These are the moments when the tapestry is revealed.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Adrift Reprise needs to be understood in the context of its namesake, the first song in the musical, and in the context of, well, it's context. This sits just before the climax of the musical, just before everything comes to a head, and we get this quiet before the storm. And this is also the moment after our conversation with Freddie (you know the one). So, you bet I'm going to talk about that.

Let me start with the imagery, the stage. This is a bit of a meta metaphor, this is a game, literally a story, and the imagery references that. But what I find interesting is the reason why.

Grace has spent the entire musical detached from reality, directionless, unable to pin down. There's a reason you can make any choice for her and it won't feel out of character. She's a blank slate, emotionally and motivationally. The only thing that can get her to do something is a threat of death.

And then we get here, Grace sits upon a stage. But now she has purpose. Now she has something to look forwards to after the trial. This is a Grace that is making up her mind. So, the story acknowledges it's superficiality at the start, when Grace is the most detached, and now, when she is feeling the most real.

This also serves to contrast her with an earlier version of herself. I keep saying that this is a story about change, and here we are presented with how much Grace has changed over the course of the musical.

And despite you not actually getting to choose anything in this song, you feel like this is the culmination of all of your choices up to this point.

Specifically, I am talking about the choice whether or not to bring Freddie back from the dead. I did, on my first playthrough, so I was met with this very quiet version of the song as Grace and I both reflected on what we had just done. There is a noticeable air of uncertainty, and the resolution isn't "I did the right thing", but "I did what I did, now I have to deal with that".

However, there is another path you can take to get to this song.

If you let Freddie go, you get backup music. And you get shown a different change between now and the beginning. Slightly.

I actually think Grace has changed more as a mortal than as a muse. If that makes sense. As a mortal, she owns up to her decisions, and resolves herself. She is alone for now, but she knows she has people to rely on. But as a muse, I think she has definitely changed, although not quite as much. Grace still feels alone, and still has to be brought from that by Calliope. I think that if Freddie stays dead, Grace regresses to the point she began the story in, and has to be given that final boost externally.

The change is different between the two, I simply prefer the former option because I, personally, find it more interesting.

"In your heart, we remain You do not sail in vain"

All preferences aside, however, this is a cool line. All of the people that Grace has changed have changed her in return. There's another musical with a similar sentiment in it.

I've heard it said That people come into our lives for a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led To those who help us most to grow If we let them And we help them in return

This is from Wicked, and stay tuned for some analysis of that in the future. But for now, it is the meaning that is important. We grow the most if we accept the help, and we give it back when it's needed. Humans are a communal species, we stay static if left to our own devices, or we spiral.

The question then becomes this: What do you want to do now? How do you want to do this?

If you bring back Freddie, you need to keep her alive through the trial, and if you don't, well now you have to live on in her name. Either way, you need to make a decision.

There is no inertia in the ocean.

(There is a Part 2 going up at the same time as this that will discuss The Trial)

Previous - Next

#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #character analysis #what's so special about...? #greek mythology #stray gods #stray gods the musical #stray gods spoilers #stray gods the roleplaying musical #stray gods grace #grace #greddie #stray gods calliope #stray gods adrift #part 1 of 2

[uncsukuna]

mario kart hcs for jjk... sorry every idea for one of these posts start w choso n idk why... ion even like him like that. anywaysssss, i hope yall enjoy these silly hcs n if u disagree idc!

gojo – enjoys the older mks (double dash & mkds). he played a lot of double dash w geto but after he defected he rlly didn't touch the game that often n kinda strayed away from the series as a whole. occasionally he'll play w/ the kids as king boo

geto – same w/ gojo. he bought the twins a wii at one point and played mkwii w/ them, but never ever played on his own. his go-to choice was yoshi or petey piranha

shoko – has played like twice... she just doesn't find the game fun n gojo screeching at geto in her ear was enough to deter her from playing at all. liked baby luigi or wario

nanami – casual player. he only got a ds cus haibara wanted to play mkds, and he only ends up getting a switch cus yuuji wants to play mk8. sometimes when he actually has free time he'll sit down w a glass of wine n play for a lil bit, just depends on his mood. plays as either lakitu or tanuki mario

yuuji – plays lemmy (or diddy kong) n absolutely loves the koopalings idc!! he's rlly good at the game but he secretly loathes meta players. it kinda frustrates him when hes in a match full of waluigis n donkey kongs but he still tries. never rage quits either

megumi – barely knows how to play 💀… only knows how thx to yuuji, n even then, hes rlly bad. eventually he gets semi-decent but he doesn't play enough to be super good. his go-to is either mario (default) or koopa

nobara – ruthless asf when it comes to both bots n online. strictly plays the princesses (including wendy. STOP FORGETTING MY GIRL!!!) and has good stats while looking cute <3

maki – only plays when somebody else wants to play (inumaki & panda for ex.). when she does play tho shes constantly cursing them or the bots out. she typically defaults to waluigi (hes meta or sumn idk) but is willing to match princesses w/ nobara

yuuta – he considers himself ok at the game. doesn't play often enough (only w the jjt students) but when he does hes whooping ass. strategically placing bananas, learning shortcuts, baiting ppl into getting hit by blue shells. never gets overly competitive tho n always says "good game :)" after obliterating everyone. i feel like hed play as luigi, wiggler, or boy villager

choso – has no remorse when it comes to online players. hes throwing red&blue shells left n right, but whenever he plays w yuuji, he avoids throwing them. like if yuuji is in first place n choso gets a blue shell hes holding it until yuuji falls back or until the race is over lol also, i feel like he'd either play dry bones or mario

toji – never played. did consider betting during one of those e-sports competitions, tho

sukuna – keep him away from the game at all costs. the second someone throws a red shell at him (god forbid a blue shell) he's threatening to dox. but frfr, he only watched yuuji n them play. he laughs whenever yuuji experiences any misfortune. hed choose dry bowser or peach

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk headcanons #jjk gojo #jjk geto #jjk shoko #jjk nanami #jjk yuji #jjk megumi #jjk nobara #jjk maki #jjk yuta #jjk choso #jjk toji #jjk sukuna #gojo headcanons #geto headcanons