#[i run away without answering the question]

[wolfish-trickster]

I would've chosen if I could've

Gojo x fem!reader, Geto x fem!reader

Part 3

Previous part

Word count: 3.2K

Summary: after a talk with Geto Gojo realizes few things and even though he plans on doing better he decides to give both himself and you a little break before trying to ask for forgiveness. Geto however has a plan of his own.

Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort

Taglist: @ilovebattinson @catobsessedlady @tqd4455 @nanao4k

@abcdefghijklmmopqrstuvwxyz

By the time their little "therapy" ended the sky outside changed from clear blue to clowdy gray. One would think rain will fall any minute now. The only thing that fell however was the air preassure.

Since Gojo was always one of the sesitive ones he quickly fell asleep. Geto offered him his big bed to take a nap in but Gojo proclaimed "he deserved to sleep on a floor for what he did". They settled on a compromise in a form of a couch. As Gojo was snoring away, more mentally tired than physically, Geto got into thinking. His entire conversation with his best friend took a mental toll on him too.

Thinking back to his relationship with you, he never really spotted any problems. The amount of times Geto spaced out while Gojo gushed about you at the begining of the relationship made it seem like he would set the world on fire if you as much as hinted you felt a little cold. He just couldn't wrap his head around how Gojo could fuck all of that up in the span of one day. Or several years. Has he been like this since the begining? When did Gojo start lying about you being too busy to hang out with him and Shoko? Was there a breaking point for Gojo? Did you do something that made him realize he just isn't the type for serious relationships?

For the first time in his life Geto Suguru couldn't answer any of these questions about his best friend.

Sun began to set. First raindrops hit the window. Soon a soft rain turned into a heavy storm. And yet even that couldn't wake Gojo up. 'He must be so exhausted,' Geto thought as he pulled a thin blanket over his sleeping figure. Even unconscious Gojo looked hurt. Geto was as well. Both from what happened and what he's about to do.

*

It has been a tough day on your mentality. After packing majority of your clothes into your favourite backpack you ran out the apartment with no real plan in mind. Nowhere to go either. You roamed the city for hours until you saw a short haired brunette girl smoking in the distance. After running up to her it turned out to not be Shoko to your disapointment. But it wasn't pointless. Noticing the girl made you remember Gojo and Geto's friend.

You walked to her place as if on autopilot, letting your muscle memory carry you. What would you say once you come to her door? She was the one to help you get together with Gojo in the first place. Did she know something like this would happen? She has known him for as long as Geto did.

The thought of Geto made you shiver. If it wasn't for him none of this would've happened! You were sure he was just enjoying pulling Gojo away from you, keeping him to himself and himself only. Did he ever planned on making you and Gojo break up? If so, he succeeded masterfully. You wondered if Gojo was sad even a little bit about you leaving, and if so if he was calling Geto about it, telling him he needs more time without him. You smiled. It would be nice if that was happening. Such a shame you won't find out.

Soon you arrived at a small house with old dark brown door and a worn out mat. The only thing that changed from your last visit was one of the windows at the front. It's glass was new. At the begining of your and Gojo's relationship Shoko and Geto wanted to have a small sleepover to get to know you better. Shoko was really warm and welcoming, so was Geto, even though in a lesser extent. He didn't touch you in any way, no hug nor hand shake, and when it came to laying out sleeping bags in the living room he placed his as far away from you as possible. Gojo then started teasing him and after all testosteron fully kicked in they ended up breaking one of the windows. You panicked and quickly looked over at Shoko. She just lit a cigarette and told you you'd get used to it.

You smiled. It was a nice memory. Back then when everything was simpler and somehow calmer. Still, one thing was weird to you. How Geto was pulling away from you since the begining.

You shook your head. First he started occupying your relationship and now your thoughts? No fucking way. He doesn't get to win. (A/N if you understood the reference you get a cookie 😉)

Your hand hovered a little above the old wood of Shoko's door but in the end decided to softly knock. You heard shuffling behind the door before surprised Shoko opened it, definitelly expecting someone else instead of you. She was dressed casually in jeans and some basic T-shirt, but you could tell she was trying to make herself look a little nicer than just 'casual'.

"Hi, what happened?" she asked and reached out to caress your cheek. You must've looked horrible.

You sighed and as best as you could explained the gist of what happened. Somehow you could do so in just three sentences and no crying. Did you already run out of all your tears?

She accepted you into her house and made you some calming lavender tea. "You can sleep over if you want," she said.

"Thank you. And sorry for bothering, I just... I had no other place to go," you admitted and sipped on the purple steamkng bevarage. You never had a lavender tea. Tasted like a hug in a mug. Something you desperately needed in these tough times.

"Don't worry about it," she rubbed your back comfortingly, "that's what friends are for."

You smiled at her and leaned jnto her hand. "You don't have to stay and take care of me. You were just about to go out, right?" You gestured at her face half covered in make up. Realizing yku must've ruined her most-likely date made you feel even worse about yourself.

Shoko just waved her hand. "It was just a movie thing with Geto. It's fine tho, you need me more now."

She mentioned two things that broke you: Geto and you being put above all else. You collapsed into her arms and cried out bunch of apologies and words about ruining her chance at findjng a relationship for herself. You weren't fond of Geto at all right now, but you knew Shoko and how single and alone she must've felt with her two male friends being always away.

Now that you think about it, you were surprised she even went above and beyond to help you. They were three before. Then came you and took Gojo away. And then Gojo took Geto away from her too. You felt sick. She was all alkne because of you.

You must've said all of this out loud tho, because Shoko pulled you from a tight hug to an arm's length away from her and made you look into her eyes. "Don't. Just don't. You didn't make anyone leave me. Me being alone isn't your fault. If anything I should be thanking you. Those two have been hogging my free time for a long time and with them finally focusing on other things I had more time to study and got my grades from 'barely passing' to 'top of the class'. Besides, I was always more into femboys," she winked which made you laugh. Such a shame not everyone was like Shoko. She was truly a ride or die kind of girl.

You hugged her as tight as you could and just held her. Feeling another body's warmth brought you calmness, no matter who it belonged to.

Unfortunately, not every good thing lasts forever. And neither did this moment.

Shoko's phone vibrated. She pulled it put of her backpocket and looked at it. "Shoot, I almost forgot. Would you mind if I-?" she pointed at her phone with Geto's contact shining brightly on her screen.

You shook your head, even though seeing Geto's relaxed smile in that contact made your chest hurt. That bastard doesn't even know what he did.

Shoko smiled and walked into her bedroom to make the call. You stayed sitting her kitchen, sipping on your tea, looking around. There were little peaces of paper with some medical notes written on it taped on random places all around the place. You figured it must be her way of studying.

After a while she came back from her bedroom and sat across from you. "Gojo's at Geto's."

"Of course he is," you scoffed and went in to take a sip from your tea only to realize you've drank it all.

Shoko sighed. "Geto told me he'll speak with him," you rolled ypur eyes, "and quote 'take care, both of you'," she added.

You looked back at her surprised. "He what?"

Shoko smirked. "Not even gonna ask about your beloved boyfriend?"

You frowned. "Shoko, please stop."

"Sorry, I just wanted to lighten up the mood."

"And he's an ex."

Shoko raised her eyeybrows. "So, it's official now?"

"Yeah. I mean, packing your things and leaving couldn't be taken as anything else, right?"

It felt weird saying that. Ex boyfriend. You've had few in the past, but most of them were in your youth while you were still figuring out your place in the world. To be honest, you were still figuring it out but now you were a little closer to finding it out than before. You thought you would be able to find out completely with Gojo by your side. He wanted someone else by his though...

"Right," she answered.

The rest of the day was pretty calm. You talked, cooked something together, and then watched the rain drops race on a window. It felt nice. Not thinking about what was happening in your life.

As the night time approached so did tiredness. The entire day did its number on your psyche and you desperately needed to sleep it off. Shoko offered you her bed, making up an excuse she needs to study fro her upcoming exams, but you weren't having it.

"Listen girl, if you really want me to stay in my bed we can be in there together and cuddle," Shoko smirked as she helped you prepare the couch for the night.

"You snore so no thanks."

She stuck out her tongue at you and you giggled. It felt like having an older sister.

You both said goodnight and went off to sleep, her in her bed and you on her couch. You have slept on many couches but Shoko's was by far the softest. So warm, so comfy. You were minutes away from falling completely asleep when you heard a small ding, startling you wide awake.

It came from the kitchen. What dinging thing did Shoko have in the kitchen?

You turned on your side, thinking it was just a one time thing. Right as this thought bloomed in your head you heard two more dings.

Annoyed you dragged yourself to your feet and using your phone's flashlight tiptoed into the kitchen.

The noise source wasn't even trying to hide. Shoko's phone was shining like a lighthouse right under a window, where you both had your droplet race. You picked it up just as its screen turned black. You wouldn't want to read the messages as to not invade Shoko's privacy. Even if the curiosity was stronger.

Even though... it could be something from her school, right? It wouldn't hurt just to check. You'll bring it to her right after. Yeah, that's what you'll do!

You turned the phone on and you nearly puked. There was a notification about 3 new messages from Geto Suguru.

Do you want to know?

Yes you do.

You unlock the screen and went straight into messages.

hi, i just wanted to tell you i had a talk w/satoru and he's doing rly bad. he has no idea what he wants in life, but he also swore he never wanted to hurt Y/N. he also promised to become better and have a talk with her, so dont be surprised if he shows up at yours tmrw

oh and btw how is she doing

?

You stared at the phone. Should you reply? Should you just pretend you saw nothing and go back to sleep? As if you'd fall asleep after that. As horrible as it sounded you were kinda glad Gojo was doing bad. It showed he cared about you. And Geto saying he's willing to change for you? One part of you was glad things would go to normal. And the other one was screaming at you to notice the next sentence of Geto's message. Gojo has no idea what he wants in life. That little fact could be interpreted in so many ways.

Before you could think of any the phone in your hand dinged again. A new message.

y are you silent? i can see you reading this

Oh crap, you forgot he could see if the reciever read the message or not.

It was time to act. Pretend to be Shoko and find out stuff they would never tell you or admit you're you and risk losing the spicy information you could pull out of Geto.

As much as you hated to admit it Geto was really important for you right now.

"I'm so sorry Shoko," you whispered as you typed away.

I was just thinking, that's all. What exactly did Satoru tell you?

promise you won't tell Y/N? it would hurt her even more

Geto Suguru... cares about you?

Okay, I won't tell.

good, good. well basically he told me he has no idea what to do. that he doesnt want to choose any of us in fear of losing the one he doesnt choose. worst thing tho is i think he isnt really ready to be in a relationship. said he felt trapped but also not. idunno, it was messy

oh and did you know he lied all those times? everytime we invited both of them he said Y/N was too busy to attend, he told me he just wanted to feel like old times again.

They what? Invited you? You ahve to think fast. If you weren't you but Shoko, what would you reply?

Damn.

Yup, the only sensible thing coming to mind.

It worked though.

yeah, my thoughts exactly. how is she doing by the way?

You thought for a while. Then you began typing.

She's better. I made her a tea, talked with her, had fun.

okay, thats good

He wasn't replying for a while. You thought this was the end of it but then another message popped up.

i'm kinda surprised youre not saying anything

Check the clock mister, I'm tired.

i didnt mean that

Then what did you mean?

cheering me on in pursuit of Y/N

What the actual? Pursuit of you? In what way?

Your legs couldn't take it anymore so you sat down on the cold kitchen floor, head resting against one of the table legs. After your heartbeat slowed down a little you were ready to find out more.

As I said, too tired.

so all it took for you to stop teasing me about my crush was being too tired? where was this info three years ago?

Crush? Your fingers began to shake. This can't be. Geto Suguru, the source of your anxiety, the reason for your break up, the best friend of your now ex boyfriend has had a crush on you this entire time? And Shoko was teasing him because of this?

You have to keep a calm mind.

I don't think it's a good idea to act out right now.

yeah, no shit

what i said still stands tho

satoru is my best friend. and even if the girl that has been haunting my dreams the past few years is single now i cant possibly do it to him

You said it yourself, didn't you? Satoru doesn't know what he wants in life. What if he didn't want Y/N either?

You had to play these cards in order to find out more. More about Geto's crush, more about what Gojo really told Geto.

after what i heard today i think theres a possibility for that. but look, this is the first real relationship he has. that boy has been sheltered half of his life. tomorrow he will come to yours and have a chat with Y/N. the rest is up to her.

And what if she chooses to get back together with him? It would break your heart.

wouldn't be for the first time.

besides, as much as id want satoru to be single for a while to figure out his shit on his own i cant really wish Y/N told him to gtfo. at the begining she looked so happy

Geto...

yeah

You waited for a while but no more words came from Geto's end. The conversation died and you were even more confused than before.

*

Morning came. A sleepless night now behind you, Shoko's phone still in your hands and bunch of questions in our head. As well as anxiety.

What will you tell Shoko? Sorry girl, your phone wouldn't shut up so I impersonated you and texted with the best friend of y ex and also the reason why he's my ex in the first place and by the way when did you want to tell me he has had a crush on my and that's why he was acting all hot'n'cold with me ever since we met?

Even more, will Gojo really come and try to win your trust again? Before yoi read Geto's messages you would be even willing to try, but after? You weren't sure anymore. Especially after one specific sentence that kept you up all night. 'After what I heard today I think there's a real possibility of that.'

Shoko's bedroom door creaked open and in came a half asleep Shoko. Blindly filling up the tea kettle she turned to you. "Do you want some coffee?"

"No thanks," you said and placed the phone on the table infront of you. This will be bad. "Hey, Shokoy I have to tell you somethi-"

You were interrupted by loud knocking on the front door.

Both you and Shoko looked at the door than at eachother. Rubbing her eyes she walked over there and looked through the peep hole. "It's Gojo. Do you want me to let him in?"

You hesitated. Adrenalin was running high in your system, anxiety was clawing at your chest like never before.

And against all your better judgement you nodded.

A/N: i'm so sorry for ending it like this but it's really fucking late and i only have time at night to be creative... i don't know when the next chapter/chapters (i have at least three more planned) will come out but i promise i will try my best to post them by the time next monday comes. See ya ✌️

#gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojo satoru angst #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #jjk geto #jjk geto suguru #geto angst #geto suguru angst

[pedge-page]

Imagine baby Sarah angry with Joel for not giving into her asks and wants like idk candy maybe and sides with reader going behind Joel’s back to ask the exact same thing and then in the middle of the day Joel questions how Sarah got a lollipop and reader says that Sarah told her that Joel said yes but to ask reader as well and they then connect the dots to discover that they’ve been played

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: Sarah's Bargain

Notes: I’ve derailed from this prompt a little because Sarah’s gotta outsmart all of the adults in the room.

- - - -

Sarah and Joel are walking through the gas station mart when she spots the colorful rack of assorted candy. 

"Daddy, can I have one ring pop?"

"No," he responds plainly, counting the twinkies in his hand and figuring out how many he can get before you yell at him.

"Why not."

He grabs two bottles of Pepsi in one hand before heading over to the check out counter. “Because I said so."

She grumbles and follows close behind him. "If I clean my room--"

"You can't bargain with me. I'm not mom. My answer is no."

She thinks about it for a moment. Then smiles. "Ok Daddy, I understand."

Joel is surprised she acquiesced so quickly. She seems to have gotten over the tantrum phase. Maybe he's doing a pretty good job at this parenting thing after all. 

- 

Later on, you take Sarah along with you to go grocery shopping. "Mom.”

"Yes bubba."

"Dad said if I cleaned my room, I could have a ring pop."

You pause, surveying the special deal for pepsi cans. Despite Joel telling you about the suspicious amount of pepsi that’s been disappearing from his stock, you hadn’t touched any. In fact, you had your own stock that you suspect he’s found out and been stealing from. 

“What?”

“A ring pop,” she repeats. “Dad said if if cleaned my room, I could have one.”

 Thats very uncharacteristic of him to bargain with Sarah.

"He did? So what are you coming to me for?"

"Well he said ONLY if you agreed. Said it was OK but to ask mom first to be sure."

Fuck, making me do the hard decision. Joels always the favorite, and if you say no now, then it’s going to make you the mean mom for no reason. You did see she cleaned her room without being told...

You grab the pepsi case, hoping Joel won't scold you for your own hoarders pile.  

You see the innocent batting of her eyes just as you look over to the candy aisle. “Well if Dad said yes..." 

-

Sarah and Joel are sitting at the table as he unwraps his secret stash of pepsi and Twinkie’s away from you. 

"I asked mom for a ring pop and she said yes,” she mentions while coloring her book.

Joel freezes with half the cream custard in his mouth. “I said—“ 

"Its ok! I told her since you had said no, that she didn't need to get me one. I just wanted to see if she would..."

"You trying to set me up against mom?"

"No..." she adds quickly. "I just... thought it would be an interesting experiment.” She smiles softly, before turning to a very mature, saddened tone. “But then I realized it was wrong and I should have listened to you in the first place. So I didn’t take it because I know you said no."

He thinks about it for a moment. Now you’re going to come to him lecturing about why Sarah doesn't get things when she CLEARLY has a good sense of responsibility, going as far to say no to something she clearly wants just to respect him. She's also smart to test both of you, and even when she could have had it, she still refused. 

“Alright. Just cuz I'm proud of ya.” He dusts the power from his fingers and fishes for his wallet. “You’re a smart kid. But I don't want you testing your mom n’ me for the same answer.  And I don't want to get in trouble with her. I'll get you one. Just this once ok?"

She nods solemnly and crosses her heart. “I won’t say anything.”

-

The next day, you hear Joel and Sarah coming in from the garage and you quickly stash your pepsi behind the potted plant. Your daughter gives you a fat kiss on the cheek before running to the living room and turning on the tv.

You and Joel sit at the table. “I saw the can by the way.” He remarks.

You grunt, pulling the aluminum from its hiding spot and proudly sipping it before crinkling it in your hand. “Well I haven’t been stealing from you. I …have my own stash.”

Joel gasps, offended and surprised by your double standards. “And you yell at me n’ my Twinkies!”

"There better not be any f-ing twinkies in this house Joel Miller," you point at him threateningly.

"Nope none Nada. Haven't seen any." he slowly tucks the new plastic back full of them under his legs.

"The two of you talk about Sarah having cleaned her room without being told. 

"Yeah, I ended up getting her the ring pop,” he tells you.

You furrow your brows.

“?… but, I got her the ring pop. She said you told her I would get if it I also approved? I didn’t want to be the mean mom!"

Fuck, Joel knows you get too worked up on trying to be too nice and cater to Sarah... "What? I told her no first. I never said it was up to you. Then she said she asked you and you said yes, but she refused yours, so I got her it instead for being responsible. I told you to stop worrying about being the nice mom!”

You also know Joel's a sucker for marveling Sarah's experimental mind and working on being responsible over getting what she wants. "She did NOT refuse my offer. what are you talking about?"

Tommy comes in moments later, and waves to the two of you through the open door. Sarah runs up to him near the doorway, and he greets her first suspiciously. They do a funky little hand shake, and you catch a glimpse of something silver going into his palm before she retreats to the living room 

"What are you doing here?" Joel asks.

Tommy shrugs. "Uh nothin’ just.."

"Did you just slip her a ring pop??" You ask incredulously. 

He huffs a guilty sigh. "Sarah asked for a ring pop because you guys told her no, so I went to pick one up at the store as long as she didn’t tell either you...."

Fuck. You and Jole BOTH know Tommy's complex about wanting to be Sarah's favorite uncle (despite the fact you keep reminding him he's her  ONLY uncle and he has no competition).

Above all else, Sarah knows these weakness about each of you. You all look over to her as she unwrap a third ring pop, putting all of them on her one hand and switching back and forth sucking on them. There's an open Pepsi can clutched in her other tiny palm that she sips from, with an exceedingly satisfied grin on her face.

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop

#joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #last of us fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us fanfiction #joel and sarah #joel miller fluff #the last of us fluff #the last of us fic #tlou fluff #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #last of us fic #joel dealing with preggo wife

[geeks-universe]

Thanks to the lovely anon, here’s another sneak peak of the one shot that’s actually gonna be two lol (keep in mind this is still a work in progress and will likely be edited before posting)

Cooper Howard was deep in thought the first time he met you.

He’d been sitting on a park bench, mentally running over some of his lines for what could’ve been hours before he realized someone was now occupying the spot beside him.

It was a woman.

A pretty one.

A sad one.

Ever the gentleman, he cleared his throat, cautiously asking, “Everything alright?”

The look you gave him was a tired one, shoulders weighed down with a weight he didn’t know of. You chewed on your lip- a habit, if the way you did it unconsciously told him anything.

His eyes threatened to follow, but he refused to let them. He was an honorable man, and a loyal one. The strain is his marriage would pass, and he wouldn’t be the one to throw it away for a pretty face.

A very tantalizing, pretty face.

“If you knew the world was going to end, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it, what would you do?”

He was surprised by the question, concerned even, with the state of the world. The way you asked it was so melancholy, a fact as true as the clouds in the sky.

A beat passed as he tried best to formulate an answer, your eyes trained on the park in front of you once more. It was a nice day, the kind where a calm breeze didn’t make you shiver, but the air was just as fine without one.

Peaceful, he’d say.

Not the kind where doomsday propositions were answered, but he couldn’t refuse your question- not when you gazed at him sideways, like you didn’t expect him to have an answer.

“I’d try anyways.”

You blew out a breath, nodding visibly as if his words had solidified a conversation you were having with yourself. The tenseness in your shoulders lessened, and the beginnings of a smile pulled at your lips.

“You’re the hero type, then?”

He breathed a laugh, shrugging in an almost humble manner.

“I just play one in the movies.”

The surprise on your face was evident. Clearly, you had no idea who he was. It wasn’t unheard of, but his reputation had blown up, so he hadn’t expected it.

Actor of the Century, indeed.

You hummed, a light sound that matched the birds chirping in the trees above.

“What movies?”

He raised a brow, smiling a bit at the interest on your face. You were leaning back on the bench now, arms crossed over your chest. His first assessment of you had been military, maybe.

You weren’t in frilly skirts or a smart pantsuit that frequented the local areas. Instead, you were in tight fitting black jeans and a leather jacket that looked like it’d seen better days, an armor of sorts to the outside world. Your hair was pulled back in an elaborate braid, strands framing your face like they’d fallen out on their own.

Without the forlorn expression though, you looked too young to be some grizzled general. There was something in your eyes, a camaraderie between two people who had seen some shit, but you hadn’t yet lost that youthful radiance.

“Why don’t you figure that one out,” he teased, a winning smile reaching his eyes.

“Alright, stranger,” you laughed, jumping to your feet.

The breeze blew your scent over him- honey and peaches and all the comforts of home. It was intoxicating, and he was reminded once again why continuing this conversation was dangerous.

“Next time I see you, I expect an autograph.”

He didn’t even have time to say a proper goodbye before you were walking away, newfound confidence in your gait.

The strange interaction stayed with him for the rest of the week.

#cooper howard x reader #cooper howard x you #the ghoul x reader #the ghoul x you #fallout x reader #fallout reader insert #cooper howard insert

[agathaandbrienneslesbian]

Heart of Gold - Part 2

Miranda Hilmarson x Mounted!Police!Fem!Reader

HELLO EVERYONE <3 I finally managed to finish Part 2 of my Miranda Hilmarson Fic. I'm sorry it took so long but it's finally here. I hope you enjoy this little addition to the first part. I'm not yet sure if I should make a 3rd part but if you guys want one, I'll look into it <3

Huge thanks to @weemssapphic for proofreading this part <3

Disclaimer: English is not my first language!

Warnings: Talk of bullying, talk of death and dying, descriptions of blood, death and being shot (I'm sorry... this is an angsty one)

Authors Note: Hurt/Comfort with a shit ton of Angst. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Words: 2'400+

AO3 Link

Taglist

-------

“Why do you care so much about me?”

You look at her, unable to answer the question. Should you tell her? Should you take the risk and risk the friendship you’ve built? Miranda looked at you intensely, chest heaving from being dragged around. You tried to collect your thoughts but just as you were about to answer, Miranda dropped her head, looking down at her feet. A sigh of defeat left her lips.

“It’s a joke to you as well isn’t it?” she asked through clenched teeth, tears threatened to spill from her eyes any second. You looked at her in shock.

“No! No Mir that's not the case!!! That's not the case at all-”

“Save it!” Miranda looked up at you, eyes red, tears wetting her face as she furiously wiped the back of her hand over her cheeks. 

“I should have known… you’re like everyone else… I- I should have never trusted you…” and with that, Miranda stormed out before you could say anything else. 

The defeat on her face, the betrayal, the way she looked so full of hope only for it to be replaced by pain, a pain you felt right in this moment with her. How could you have fucked up this bad… you should have just told her… you should have just SHOWN her. You had to catch up to her. Without further hesitation your feet carried you through the stables towards the parking lot only to see her drive off in a hurry.

“Shit… SHIT'' Defeated, you return to the stables to gather your things and leave. You’d see her tomorrow! You’d get your chance to talk to her again… hopefully.

—

However, luck wasn’t on your side. Miranda had started avoiding you, leaving the room when you entered, walking the other direction when you walked towards her. And this had been going on for a few weeks now.

It hurt. 

You knew better than to follow her but… it hurt. After a particularly busy day, you went to get some drinks with your colleagues, wishing you were with Miranda. A heavy sigh left your lips as you absentmindedly picked at the label of your beer. You felt sick…

“Hey guys… I’m gonna go home… I don’t feel too well…”

You stood, handing your beer to your friend, and gathered your things. Of course you were met with protest but you just ignored it, and soon enough they figured that it might be best to just let you leave. So that is what you did. 

Exiting the pub you felt the cold breeze on your skin. The air was a bit chilly and it smelled like rain. Cool darkness enveloped you and you stood there for a minute, just feeling the breeze on your skin and the smell of rain. When you opened your eyes again, that’s when you saw her. 

Miranda anxiously stepped on a cigarette she’d just finished. It looked as if she were considering coming into the pub or not. She hadn’t seen you yet. Should you approach her? Go back inside? Before a choice could be made, she looked up, making eye contact. You were expecting her to run away, to flee from your loving and pained gaze once again but…. She didn’t. She held your gaze, waiting. 

“Miranda-“

“Can we walk?”

She interrupted. You looked at her, surprise painted all over your face as she just waited for you to reply. Quickly, you nodded, walking over to her and following.

“Miranda… I am so sorry. If I have done something that hurt you please just let me know I-“

“Don’t apologise… I should-“

The blonde took a deep breath, shoving her hands in her vest pockets and looking down at her feet, kicking some stones around as she walked with you. She had missed you… but she needed time to think.

“I should have let you answer that night… I am sorry…”

Suddenly, Miranda stopped, looking out over the beach and the dark ocean. You stood beside her, your eyes trained on her face. You had to tell her how you feel. You had to let her know that she is worthy of love and affection. That she is beautiful, wonderful, perfect. In your eyes, Miranda was perfect. 

“I care because you’re worth it.”

Miranda was avoiding your gaze, but you saw her eyebrows furrow. This just spurred you on more.

“I care because you are worth the time and energy. I care because you are the sweetest and most adorable and kind person on this planet. I care because you lit up my world when I met you the very first time. You make my days better and I cannot fall asleep or wake up without thinking of you.”

Miranda looked down at you, her eyes, usually so blue and bright now seemed grey, and were welling up with tears. Carefully, you took her hand into yours, giving her a reassuring squeeze with your hands.

“I care because I fell in love with you…. Miranda… I love you”

You said it, admitted your feelings, and it sent a rush of anxiety down your spine, leaving its sticky tingling feeling behind. You were expecting her to leave again, to get upset at you… what you didn’t expect were her lips suddenly pressed against yours, a big hand with long, slim fingers, gently cupping your cheek and pulling you closer.

Miranda had hoped you would say that. It took her a while to realise… several weeks. She simply wasn’t used to it. No one had ever shown her the care and affection you had. And she found herself falling for you. Afraid you would hate her if she admitted it, she kept quiet.

But that night…. She had to know. 

However, as soon as the question left her lips, she felt herself getting anxious. She was terrified. What if you said you pitied her and that’s why you ‘acted’ like you cared so much? So, before you could answer, she pulled away. She ran away. To protect herself, not noticing how much her actions had hurt you. Until she saw how your smile faded, how your eyes stopped shining, how you seemed to have lost your joy. And she hated herself for hurting you so much. 

“I am sorry Y/N… I… love you too. I was just anxious and-“

Now it was your turn to interrupt her with a kiss. Your arms wrapping around her shoulders, holding her close. You didn’t need to hear more. It was no secret that Miranda was oftentimes anxious. Who could blame her… she’s been through a lot. 

“I’ve heard everything I needed to hear Mir… you don’t have to apologise. You’re okay. I am not mad at you. I’m glad you told me…”

Your whispers and words of affirmation and understanding caused Miranda to completely dissolve. Her tears flowing freely as she held onto you, finding comfort in your embrace. She did not know how she deserved you, but she would be an idiot if she’d ever let go of you. You loved her… and she loved you. 

—

And so it happened that the two of you became the cutest couple at the police station (at least according to you two. Who cares what the others think).

More often than not, you brought Miranda a coffee, some treats or even flowers. You started spending almost every waking moment together, only separating to go home and sleep. 

Both of you wanted to take it slow. There was no hurry. You weren’t going anywhere and neither was Miranda. The love you experienced in each other's embrace and kisses was enough to keep you two glued together. No force could ever part you… not even a routine patrol that ended more dangerous for you than expected. 

—

It was like every Wednesday afternoon.

You were patrolling the promenades before going back to the stables and calling it a day. Already excited to spend time with Miranda after work, you did not realise that the altercation you rode towards, would end up being almost fatal for you. 

Of course it had to happen.

You knew you shouldn’t have split up with your colleague. But there was no harm in thinking that if he took the lower road, you could take the higher one and still be close enough to hear each other. 

The second you realised that there was a gun pointed at you, you started calling for your colleague. Reaching for your own gun, you suddenly felt a piercing pain in your shoulder. A BANG was heard and then your ears were ringing. The pain in your shoulder increased, dragging its disgusting talons over your neck to the back of your head, digging deep into your skin. You started feeling faint, head pounding and everything started looking fuzzy and far away. At first you hadn’t even noticed that your horse was galloping towards the stables. Your hand just instinctively grabbed onto the horn of the saddle and your grip tightened. 

Artemis was huffing, whining and neighing the closer she got to the stables. A place she knew was safe. She felt your shift in energy, understanding the severity of the situation more than you. The smart horse she was, she stopped in front of the station, making a ruckus to get the other officers’ attention.

Miranda looked out the window, expecting to see you waving at her but what she saw, sent her into a panic. She rushed out to you and Artemis, gently pulling you from your mare and asking you questions. What exactly she asked, you didn’t know… you didn’t hear. All you knew was that you were in Miranda’s arms and it soothed the pain you were experiencing. 

Meanwhile Miranda tried to stay calm. She had called the ambulance, staying with you and holding you close, trying to stop the bleeding. Her hands, your shirt and her sleeves were covered in thick, dark red, warm blood. Your blood. 

Miranda tried really hard to keep it together, to stay strong for you, but she couldn’t keep the sobs in. Tears coated her soft pale skin, huffs and sobs escaped her lips, frantic breathing accompanied by the fear that she could lose you. She couldn't lose you… Miranda wouldn’t survive without you, she knew that. She needed you. She loved you. 

The next few hours were a blur for Miranda. You were unconscious, the medics doing everything they could to keep you alive as she accompanied you, holding your hand throughout the entire drive to the hospital. There, you were separated. 

But Miranda didn’t let up. 

She waited, and waited, and waited. Minutes turned to hours, hours filled with anxiety, fear and pain. She did not even wash up, her hands, shirt and trousers still soaked in your blood. Now cold, sticking to her skin, as if death itself latched onto her. 

It wasn’t until 4 hours later that the nurse finally went to fetch Miranda. She did ask her to at least wash her arms before bringing her to your room. There you laid, unconscious, but breathing. You were breathing. Miranda immediately went to your side, gently brushing some hair from your face, caressing your cheek, and holding your warm, soft hand. 

“I need you… please don’t leave me just yet…” She whispered.

“I love you. Come back to me…” She begged.

“I can’t lose you..”

She breathed. 

Miranda hoped you would hear her. She would tell you about all the things she wanted to experience with you, places she wanted to show you and future plans she had dreamed about. For more than 48 hours, Miranda sat by your side. The nurses had to force her to at least eat and drink something if she wasn’t going to sleep or go home to get changed. She sat by your side and wouldn’t leave. It was as if Miranda was in a frozen state. Holding your hand and pressing kisses to your cheek and forehead. She was only ripped from her trance as the heart monitor flatlined. She shot up, calling out for help, screaming, begging, sobbing, but no one heard. She was alone… and you were gone… —

“Miranda?”

Suddenly, Miranda felt a soft hand on her arm, another on her cheek, wiping away tears that escaped her eyelids once more. She opened her eyes, finding herself in her bedroom. Her breathing ragged, panic evident on her face, she started looking around. Where were you? “Miranda… darling… It’s okay. It was just a bad dream…” Her eyes shot to the direction of the voice, and she started sobbing. You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close and kissing her head. Miranda’s arms immediately wrapping around your middle, so as not to hurt your healing shoulder. She pulled you close and that's when she realised where she was. Miranda was at home, in her bed, with you holding her, consoling her.

“I am here Mir. I won’t go anywhere… I promised you I won’t.” Your soft voice brought her peace. This wasn’t the first time she awoke in this manner. Once the nurses and doctors were happy with your recovery, they allowed you to go back home. Miranda insisted you live with her, so she could take care of you and protect you. Of course you said yes. But ever since then, Miranda was plagued by nightmares. One worse than the other, the outcome was the same every time. She couldn’t save you. She couldn’t protect you. You were gone, leaving her alone in her pain and loneliness. 

But it was just a dream. Every night she would feel your arms around her, your soft voice rousing her from the hell she fell into. Every night, you would reassure her that you were still there, that you survived, and that it was thanks to her quick thinking. Every night, you would dry her tears and have her fall asleep with her head on your chest, hearing your heartbeat. You were alive, and you were with her. It would take some time for the two of you to overcome the trauma, the horrors both of you faced each night. But you would overcome it. Together. Miranda could overcome it with your love, and you with hers. And her heart of Gold.

So, just like every night, you reminded her of that. A kiss pressed to her head as you noticed her relaxing in your arms, sleep ready to take her again. You whispered, so as not to wake her again: “Miranda?”

“Hm?”

“I love you”

------

End Note: As always, reblogs, comments and likes are well appreciated <3 Taglist: @vivendraws @erinyaya @phexyce @aemilia19 @weemssapphic @gela123 @winterfireblond @Xxmecverxx @unicorniusfallapatorious @gwenistheloml @yourgaeyisshowing @readingtheentrails

#queer #gwendoline christie #sapphic #fanfic #wlw #reader insert #ao3 #gwendoline christie fanfics #Miranda Hilmarson x Reader #Miranda Hilmarson fanfic #Miranda hilmarson #Fanfic #x reader #angst #hurt comfort #heart of gold part 2

[lau219]

Why Deny?

Part 15

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

​The next day at work moved along painfully slowly. Y/N had spent the majority of the day in her office, planning and reciting what she was going to say to Leonard, trying to prepare herself to be able to get through it without crying.

When she arrived at the restaurant they’d agreed to meet at for dinner that night, Leonard was waiting for her near the host stand, and as he slipped his arm around her waist and lovingly pressed a kiss to her temple as they waited to be seated, she could already feel the tears pricking behind her eyes.

​But she had to do it here. This way, Leonard couldn’t make too much of a scene. She encouraged him to go ahead, saying she needed to use the restroom and would meet him at the table. Once he was out of sight, Y/N spoke to the hostess and asked that she tell their waiter not to disturb them, and that they would let her know when they were ready to order. After lingering for another moment, Y/N headed into the dining area, spotting Leonard and walking over to the table. She was relieved to see it was in a slightly more secluded spot than some of the other tables, and as she sat down, she took a deep breath before looking at Leonard.

​“How are you feeling?” he asked her, their eyes meeting.

​“Fine,” she lied, the agony of what she was about to do crushing her heart.

​Leonard could tell. He always knew when she was lying, and he furrowed his brow as he looked back at her.

​“What’s wrong?”

​Taking another deep breath, Y/N briefly looked down at her lap, collecting herself before she met his eyes once more.

​“Leonard, I...I’ve decided I’m keeping the baby.”

​As what she said registered with him, Leonard felt a sense of pride, as well as adoration for Y/N, begin to run through him. Looking at her, the hint of a smile crossed his face, and Y/N didn’t miss it. She felt another stab to her heart.

​“Ok,” he said to her, trying not to react too much and overwhelm her. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “Then we’re in this together.”

​Y/N let him hold her hand for a moment, but then she forced herself to pull away. As she looked at him again, she shook her head.

​“We can’t be,” she replied.

​Leonard frowned.

​“What?”

​“We can’t do this, you and me.”

​Leonard shook his head.

​“What are you talking about?”

​She took another deep breath.

​“Leonard, this’ll never work. You have no idea what you’re signing up for when you say you’d be ok with this. It’s easy to think that way when the baby is still just an idea, but that’s not who you are, and a kid changes everything. You’re gonna realize that once it’s too late, and then you’ll just end up hating me for this because I backed you into a corner. It’s all my fault that this happened.”

​Staring back at her, Leonard had no words.

​“I can’t...” she paused for a moment, blinking back tears. “I can’t bear the thought of you hating me, and if we stay together, inevitably, you will. And by then, it’ll just make a break-up even more painful, and then you’ll resent the baby, too. We should just end it now and agree to remain amicable. I’m giving you an out.”

​At this point, Leonard couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but when she talked about ending things, he spoke.

​“I could never hate you,” he said. “And if you think a baby is going to cause that, you’re dead wrong. Y/N, I want you and this baby. I don’t want an out.”

​She shook her head.

​“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

​“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t know,” Leonard responded, his anger rising. “Why do you always do this? Hm? Why are you always second guessing us? Assuming the worst?”

​“You’ll be angry for a while, but you’ll get over it, and then you’ll realize I did you a favor,” she said, not answering his question.

​“Do you seriously think I’m gonna let you pull this?” he said.

​“You can still know the baby, be involved here and there,” she continued, still ignoring his comments, “but I’m not going to saddle you with being a full-on father. You’ll thank me, eventually.”

​Before Leonard could say anything else, Y/N stood from her chair and buttoned her coat.

​“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he said as he looked up at her.

​“I’ll see you at work on Monday,” she said, and with that, she turned and began to walk away towards the entrance.

Still floored, it took Leonard a moment to realize she was leaving, and he then quickly rose from his chair and followed after her. She’d already made it out the door and was about to hail a cab when Leonard strode up behind her and pulled her back from the curb. As she gasped and then looked up at him, he saw the tears running down her cheeks, and he pulled her closer.

“I’m not letting you do this,” he said to her.

“It’s my choice, remember?” Y/N replied. “You said so yourself.”

“About whether or not to keep the baby,” he said.

“Right,” she responded, trying to look matter-of-fact, “and this is what goes with keeping it.”

“So, you’ve just made these decisions for the both of us? You think you’ve got it all figured out, do you?” he said bitterly.

“You told me in the beginning that if I truly felt it was best to walk away, that you’d let me,” Y/N said.

Leonard narrowed his eyes at her.

“Don’t pull that shit. You know this isn’t what I meant.”

“That’s what you said,” Y/N replied, the tears still slipping from her eyes. “And this is for the best.”

“Y/N...” Leonard began.

But instead of letting him say anything more, Y/N reached up and softly placed her hands on his cheeks, holding his face as she leaned forward and placing her lips on his in a final kiss. It took everything she had to pull away from him, and when she did, Leonard just stared at her, speechless. She then stepped away and reached for the door handle of the cab that was waiting at the curb.

“I’m sorry,” she said to him over her shoulder as their eyes met one last time.

Then she opened the door and climbed into the cab, and Leonard watched as the taillights disappeared around the corner.

@xsweetcatastrophe @nyxxie-pooh @febris-amatoria @hannibellector @natalie--rushman

@aphroditeslover11 @garrison-girl-08 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @fuseburner @beastofburdenxo

@alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @neonpurplestars89-blog

#leonard miller fic #leonard miller smut #leonard miller x reader #leonard miller #cillian x y/n #cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #cillian fic #cillian murphy smut #18+ only

[zeroducks-2]

Do you really think reverse flash is in love with Barry? I don't mean for this to sound snarky I'm just confused. Thawne killed Barry's mom how can you say he's in love with him? I like all the things you post and rb about them I really enjoy the ship. I just don't get it can you explain?

The question "how can Eobard be in love with Barry if he hurt him" has both a short answer and a long answer. The short answer is that people are very much capable of hurting the ones they love, on purpose or by accident.

The long answer is that Eobard is a deeply disturbed individual who has never been the recipient of love, and because of that and of many extremely traumatic events (including but not limited to being brainwashed in prison, being trapped in a timeless limbo alone for years, being tortured and treated like cattle and put in sensory deprivation for ludicrous amounts of time, dying at the hands of the only person who had ever shown compassion towards him), he has a skewed perception of a lot of things and is extremely bad at emotional regulation.

Moreover, and this is something which is easy to overlook but it's actually very important, Eobard is not human. His actions are informed by his traumas, but the way he approaches pretty much everything (including his "problems" with Barry) isn't done the way a human would.

Eobard is a timeless, deathless creature which embodies one of the driving forces of reality itself (the Negative Speed Force). He lived probably more than a few hundred years considering how he keeps running around through time doing stuff, and how he keeps going back to watch past events and adjust the way he will interact with the timeline next.

He knows the huge impact that killing Nora will have on Barry, but from a moral and ethical standpoint it's not a big deal for him. Nora is less than a speck in time, an NPC who served her role for that briefest moment in which she existed. She is a big deal because she is a big deal for Barry, not because she's meaningful in any other way.

"But then he did want to hurt Barry when he killed her" Yes, absolutely he wanted to. Eobard didn't "just" kill Nora Allen - he went back in time and changed everything about Barry's life, made it so he had no friends, made him grow isolated and insecure and shy, lacking confident in his abilities. And he did it because he is very, VERY angry with Barry for one, and also because isolating Barry makes it easier for them to grow closer.

And it worked! Back in the Silver Age, when Nora and Henry were alive and not in prison, Barry couldn't be bothered with Eobard. For him Eo was just a random criminal with superspeed, and sure he was threatening because speedsters always are, but not that much of a big deal.

Now? Now Eobard is a primary element in Barry's life, a constant he's had to deal with basically since birth, someone who rewritten his entire life to make himself part of it in an indelible manner.

It worked because now Barry is more likely to fall for Eobard's manipulation, to listen to him, to just accept that he's THERE because he's always been. Near the end of Running Scared, Eobard tells him "run away with me", and Barry says yes.

Back in the Silver Age there would have been no way.

It's worth mentioning that to understand Eobard, you need to understand that everything he does, every single thing, has the end goal of being with Barry. Whether he's trying to protect him or trying to hurt him or trying to manipulate him, whether they manage to work together against a common enemy or they're on opposite sides of the fight, every single one of Eobard's actions is motivated by love (his personal, inhuman version of love).

"But if that is the case, then why doesn't he just tell Barry 'I love you'?"

Two reasons, and one is meta.

The in-story reason is that every time Eobard tried to do something good without masking it as horrible, it went sideways and backfired spectacularly - mix that with poor emotional regulation, and you have someone who's not going to be able to handle rejection and is outright scared of doing good things openly. I think if he told Barry "I love you" and Barry reacted badly it would hurt too much. Also he wants Barry to understand, and thanks to a couple of competent writers who sadly don't work on Flash anymore, we were getting there.

The meta reason is because DC is homophobic, plain and simple. Eobard DID SAY I love you many times except with words, because DC editorials won't let him. That's it. It's the same reason why Joker can't tell Batman "I love you" and has to do weird ass word plays and even more weird ass attention seeking maneuvers. They're stunted by reasons which no one but DC itself can control.

So in short. How can Eobard be in love with Barry and hurt him so much at the same time? Because he doesn't have many ways of express love, he has a hard time being caring, and every time he allows himself to be soft it backfires. Because he wants Barry to belong to him and will isolate him and make him suffer to get there. Because he's angry with Barry -- Barry hurt him too, rejected him and left him alone and refused to accept that Eobard is his lightning rod for a long time.

Eobard easily lashes out when he's hurt, and the less grounded he is the more vicious and violent he turns.

"But Zero, how can Eobard think that Barry will ever forgive him for having killed his mom?"

I don't believe Eobard was ever looking for forgiveness, but fun fact. Barry did forgive him already. Barry is not human either, and at this point I think he'd forgive Eobard just about anything, and despite how difficult everything is between them, he really wants to get to a place where they don't need to hurt each other.

The problem with this, and it's one of the reasons why they have so many issues communicating, is that Barry is in denial about many things - about being the Speed Force, about Eobard being in love with him, about how they're two constants through time and two sides of the same coin and basically can't exist without each other, about how they're each other's lightning rod.

Their relationship is very complex, absolutely not what it looks like at first glance, and it's colored by all the hurt there is between them. But again, ultimately understanding Eobard is understanding that love is what motivates him, even when he does the most horrible unhinged things.

In conclusion, have this panel from The Flash Age which is one of my favorite Flash comics, in which you can see the way these two manage to trust each other and fall into the right rhythm, despite the oceans of misunderstandings and suffering between them.

Pages from The Flash Age, by Joshua Williamson. In which Barry tells Eobard to "do the right thing", and Eobard just does it.

#thanks for asking anon #you didn't sound snarky at all no worries #I tried to be as exhaustive as possible without writing a wall of text #idk how well I managed #I just know I could talk about these two forever #my asks #eobarry #barry allen #eobard thawne #my meta

[kaisers-house-of-desires]

I just wanna say I have notifications on for this blog, AND DID NOT GET THEM. Ahem, anyway, may I ask for a part two of the Muzan x reader fluff where he turns the reader into a demon? 👀 — H

Of course~ Some fluff coming right up~

Title: Meant to Be (Continuation of In Sickness and in Health)

Characters: Muzan x m!Reader

Contains: fluff, pet names (love, dear), blood, death (Demons are...well, demons. While there is fluff, there will be blood and death of extrememly minor characters. Be warned when reading.)

Fandom: Demon Slayer

Full request below the cut

All characters are 18+

MINORS, FEM ALIGNED, AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI (This may not be smut, but I still want the above to be followed)

Reblogs > likes

A nearby village was no match for your carnivorous rage.

Homes were destroyed, and bodies were scattered about the roads. Faint words rang in your mind as your carnage continued.

Eat to your heart's content.

And eat you did, leaving the village with nearly nothing left. It was a small village, one with not too many people. Anyone who ran by you or attempted to kill you would be your primary target, costing them their lives. Though the ones in hiding wouldn't be spared either, as you would hunt them down like prey, blood dripping from your mouth as you would scout out your next meal.

Within the hour, the village was no more. Families were wiped and structures demolished. You stood at the center of the land, panting heavily as your claws and mouth were soaked with the blood of various villagers. You couldn't tell if you were satisfied, but the nagging feeling in your gut tempted you to hunt for more.

The presence behind you felt appetizing.

Though upon turning around you were met with a tall man with dark wavy hair, his white hat surprisingly clean despite being in a land of viscera and death. You immediately changed your tune, your predatory nature giving way to something softer.

"Muzan, darling!"

He was the only thing you could remember when you woke up. Your memories were nearly erased with the transformation, only leaving the relationship you two shared.

Upon seeing his beloved, Muzan gave you a smile. You didn't realize it before, but now that you had a moment to process, you notice he held a terrified villager in one arm. She was held firmly, Muzan's hand pressing against it so she wouldn't scream. She was afraid, eyes wide as they darted between the two of you.

"I caught this one attempting to run from the village," Muzan explained, gazing down at the woman. "What do you think we should do with her?"

Hunger shot to your mind again, and you stepped toward the trembling woman. Her still wide eyes were now fixated on you rather than flicking back and forth. Her life was quite literally in someone else's hands.

You thought about her fate for a moment, a teasing response following. "Love, have I ever told you I wanted a pet~?"

That answer didn't sit well with the woman, and she began to squirm. Her screams were muffled by Muzan's hand with no way of calling out. Her feet futilely kicked in the air, as if she was already trying to run.

Muzan wasn't happy about her response, and with this position, he forced her head back, exposing her neck. "Are you sure about this one? She's quite loud."

You were so glad he played along.

"Hmm...you're right. I have another idea instead." Staring at the woman, who was frozen in fear from her new position, you simply uttered, "Let her go."

Without question, Muzan dropped the woman to the ground. She was unable to meet either of your gazes.

"Well?" You knelt down to her, your voice teasing. "Run~"

As if thinking she was blessed by the gods, she took you at your order, bolting the moment she heard the word. She screamed into the air, calling for anyone to help her, to help her village.

"Are you really about to let her get away?" Muzan asked, a brow quirked.

Your answer was a simple one.

With your newfound speed, the woman would never reach the end of the village. Your teeth would sink deep into her neck, silencing her for good as you indulged in your final meal of the night.

---

Having returned home, you were covered in the dry blood of your feast. Muzan offered to help clean you, to which you didn't refuse. He simply asked you to wait in the bathroom as he set everything up, from gathering your lounging clothes to setting up the tub with heated water. Once the tub was set and you were free of your dirtied clothes, you settled yourself in the tub, some of the water splashing out in the process.

Undeterred by this, Muzan went to work. Despite his title of King of Demons, he treated you as if you were the very thing he was, along with extra care. The way he'd hold your arm was that of a porcelain doll. The sponge carefully swiped along your skin, soap suds cleansing away the dirt and blood that speckled it. As you soaked, and as Muzan carried his actions, the water would tinge color, becoming a translucent red.

As Muzan finished his self assigned duties, he would take note of this sight, and a rush of admiration would wash over him. Thoughts of you bathing in the blood of your adversaries set his body a flame.

For once in his millennia of life, he was the one that did not feel worthy to be in someone's presence.

This feeling would remain as he would assist you out of the tub, a spot with a towel all prepared for you to sit upon as he dried off your freshly cleaned skin. You were the only creature that would ever see him like this, kneeling before a lesser demon, assiting them in such a menial task.

You'd tease him, but in reality you adored how gentle he was with you, and why would you tease that? Sure he was a king, but even a king can be gentle.

With your body dry, he clothed you with a luxurious silk robe that complimented your new reddened eye color. You weren't sure when he had gotten this, but you weren't complaining. It felt lovely on your skin, and you were grateful for his assitance.

Muzan would stand, carefully taking your hand to urge you to stand as well. In doing so, he would carefully kiss the ridge of your knuckles, gazing at you with such soft eyes. You wanted to return the gesture, so you then in turn pulled his hand holding yours close, turning your hand to expose his and return the kiss.

You would never remember who you were, but one thing was for certain: this is where you were meant to be and who you were meant to be with.

#kaisers house of desires #x reader #x male reader #x male y/n #demon slayer #muzan kibutsuji #kibutsuji muzan #demon slayer muzan #kny muzan #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #muzan x reader #muzan x male reader #muzan x y/n #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x male reader

[killerpancakeburger]

Hi! I got your ask and I'll answer it soon <3 in the meantime, I was curious about

Ka-freaking-boom, baby | Pinning (against a wall) | Renegades

👀👀

The titles/descriptions are a net, and I am but a fish you caught with it

majinbangus 🥛🐟

Hiii! Tysm for the ask! 💕

For the WIP ask game.

Alright, here we gooo *rubbing hands with glee*

Ka-freaking-boom, baby

That line by Soap drove me insane, so I came up with a Reader feeling the same way lol. It's very short so I'll post it entirely here:

“Ka-freaking-boom, baby.”

The perfect mix of rasp and silk in his voice seemed to drain all the blood from your brain and send it rushing south. It was almost worse than having his fingers stroking every inch of your skin.

Before Soap had any chance to react, you dragged him away into the nearest dark alley and kissed him furiously.

A confused moan escaped him under your assault.

Once you’ve had your fill, you withdrew, glaring at him. He was panting, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, torn between bafflement and pleasure, and, a rare occurrence, at a loss for words.

“Fuck, what the fuck… was that!?” you yelled in a whisper. “Do I have to be a freaking bomb for you to talk to me like that!?”

His eyes widened even more before understanding spread across his face. A chuckle left his lips.

“Jealous o’ an explosive, hen? Yer too cute.”

Not in the mood to play around, you grabbed his flak jacket to pull him where you wanted and, lips pressed against his ear, you described all the unspeakable acts you would do to him if he used that voice back at the base.

He let out an agonized sound at that, as if you were torturing him.

“Steamin' Jesus…”

He covered the hand that was holding him in place and took a deep inhale, most likely to keep it together.

“Bonnie, love ye, but the mission…”

You aggressively shoved your index in his sternum, looking him in the eye.

“You're making it up to me later, you hear me?”

His head was swaying with the contrast between your filthy promises and your harsh gestures, but he straightened up, recognizing an order when he heard one.

“Yes Ma'am.”

Pining (against a wall)

I read a fic where in one chapter, Soap and Reader hide from enemies with Reader stuck between the wall and Soap, and our beloved sergeant gets...hum... affected by their proximity lol. So I wanted to do a version where Soap is the one pinned between Reader and the wall. It's also the same vibe as The powder and the fuse, aka Soap sees his gf in action being very badass and finds it hot. It's smut tbh, with their clothes on tho.

WIP:

"At the sight of your enemies getting closer to your location, your bodyguard training takes over. Before you can even think about it, you grab Soap by his flak jacket, drag him into a dark alley and end up half-pining, half-slamming him against the nearest wall without warning, shoving your hand over his mouth for good measure. It's a professional reflex you'll have to apologize for later.

That, and if there's one thing he's never been good at, it's keeping it shut.

Not that he ever gave you a reason to call his skills into question, always proving himself serious and reliable on the job, but missions with only the two of you together are few and far between, and he certainly never stops running his mouth over comms during them.

Wholly focused on your opponents’ behavior, head turned away from him, on the lookout, the hand on his mouth keeping him against the wall, the other by his head, caging him in, you don't pay attention to your newfound proximity. How your faces are barely a centimeter away from each other, how his warm breath strokes your skin with each respiration. You don't notice either how much you’re pressed against his body, how your chests are touching, the contact exacerbated by each inhale, or that one of your legs is nudged between his.

Or the way his cerulean eyes are devouring you, drinking in your every move."

Renegades

It's a retelling of MW2 with Shadow!Reader, from the mission Alone until Graves die. Lots of action.

Reader kills her own coworkers when they go after civilians and deserts the Shadow company. She comes to the rescue of an injured Soap in the hopes that she can ally with the TF to take down Graves.

It's called renegadeS because It's not only about Reader's treason, but also because the TF is considered treators thanks to Shepherd, and that Reader consider that Graves betrayed her for sending her after civilians when she stated from the start she wouldn’t go after unarmed ppl/civilians.

Something about having to betray either your community/organization/group, or your own moral code, but doomed to be a traitor all the same…

WIP:

"Joining the Shadow Company had never been your first choice. Military organizations tended to be bad news, and private ones were even worse. However fate forced your hand. Or, more exactly, capitalism did.

The pay offered by the Private Military Company exceeded your wildest dreams. You've made more in a week than in one year of your regular job as a bodyguard. And you were in desperate need of money; a lot, and fast; it was the only way to afford your sister's cancer treatment.

Things weren't so bad at the start. The commander was a bigmouth, but he was sensible, and he got the job done. At some point, the corporation allied with a special task force, an international group of elite combatants, some sort of legendary military unit. You hadn't paid them much attention, since they weren't the enemy.

Until they were.

Somehow the General that commanded both those guys and the Shadow Company decided to betray his own men, turning them into traitors. At the same time, your orders brutally changed. You were expected to turn the whole town upside down to pinpoint the ex-Special Forces, and if civilians happened to be in the way, well… there was no one to hold you responsible if you put a bullet in them.

You didn’t care about the Task Force. Sucked to be them, but surely they could handle themselves.

However, the moment your coworkers started to execute unarmed civilians right in front of you, you snapped.

The latters’ screams for mercy still resonate in your ears. The racket caused by the bullets you sent through your former companions in arms hadn't been enough to make you forget their bloodcurdling yells. 

You hadn't even had time to ponder your actions. Your body acted on its own. You slaughtered them without batting an eye. They probably didn’t even understand what happened to them, not expecting your betrayal. You didn’t regret it.

You hid the bodies to the best of your abilities, and slipped away.

Now here you are, lost in Las Almas, a small city in Mexico, operating in the blind. Between the dark of the night and the rain, your vision is execrable. You have little time before your ex-colleagues’ death and your disappearance get noticed. The clock is ticking, and you can see only two options presenting themselves to you: fight or flight.

You eventually stumble upon a squad of Shadows. You've been monitoring the comms, and your treason hasn’t been noticed yet. 

So, in a rush of insane hope, you do the unthinkable and reveal yourself to them.

Maybe, just maybe, not all Shadows are bloodthirsty mercenaries who shoot innocents at the first opportunity. Maybe they can be reasoned with. Maybe you don't need to fight alone. Maybe…

You salute them as you approach, acting with as much natural as you can muster.

One throws one look at you and turns away. The other two stare with curiosity.

“Whattya doing here? This isn’t your area.”

You play dumb. Easy to perform when your interlocutor is already looking down  on you. The only perk of being a woman in this field of work is idiots underestimating you.

“Lost my way. The others left me behind. Mind if I join?”

You make your tone as silly and harmless as possible, turning your voice higher pitched than normal. It works like a charm.

You put up with their mockeries that sound a lot like insults and other jeers, keeping a naive smile on your lips.

Following on their heels, it's easy to fall back into the routine that's been yours for the past few weeks, since you became a shadow. But that illusion of normality shatters the moment you come across inhabitants.

“They don't know shit,” grumbles one of the shadows, after barking orders at the civilians only leads to desperate pleas for mercy in spanish. “Might as well get rid of them.”

You stare at him with incredulity, your bewildered expression hidden by your balaclava. How could someone be so callous with human life was beyond you. Yes, you were killers for hire, but between fighting seasoned soldiers on a battlefield and slaughtering unarmed families in their own home, there was a world of difference.

“Sure,” shruggs another.

The third one doesn't even bother answering, already taking aim with his rifle.

You feel trapped in a horror movie, an alternative reality.

“That's not necessary,” you step in, loud enough to be clearly heard, but still attempting to not sound too authoritarian. “Killing them isn’t gonna give us any answer.”

“Who cares?” snarls the first one at you, irritated by your intervention. “We get a bonus for each target, it's all that matters.”

“But they're not targets,” you hiss, getting riled up despite yourself. “Is that what your morals are worth? A bunch of zeroes?”

“For the love of… knew admitting women was a bad idea. You’re too soft-hearted for this job. So either shut the fuck up, or-”

He never gets the chance to finish his sentence, as the bullet you fire lodges itself between his eyebrows.

As the other two squad members let out expletives in shock, you’re already shooting again. The one who was aiming his rifle at the denizens drops dead just as he gets you into his sights. The last one scrapes your side with his handgun before you make him join his teammates.

Panting, you lower your weapon and kick at one of the corpses in rage.

“Fuck! Why did you have to be such a rotten piece of shit!”

From the corner of your eye, you notice the group of civilians nearby shaking with fear, glancing at you with horror and uncomprehension. You sigh and tell them to leave, unable to look them in the eye, ashamed.

Once left to your own devices, you let your fury and your frustration explode.

“Shit, shit, shit! Never should have taken this fucking job!”

Overwhelmed, you crouch, covering your face with your hands, and swear some more.

“Why'd ye do that?”

The hoarse, foreign, barely audible voice coming out of nowhere makes you jump. You point your handgun in multiple directions, in vain.

“What the…?”

You cautiously inspect your surrondings, on your guard, ready to open fire at the first sight of an enemy. Eventually you find the owner of the voice, inside a nearby building, slumped against a crumbled brick wall, and immediately take aim at him. 

“Hey there.”

The salute may be casual, but his body language shows nothing but extreme vigilance and sharp suspicion, his own handgun pointed at you. The tone of his voice isn’t exactly warm either.

At the first provokation, he will swiftly end your life without any qualms.

Your eyes roam over him and, as you take in his bare face, the soaking wet blue t-shirt adhering to his skin, and jeans, you realize you're not dealing with one of Graves’ guys. The british flag displayed on his bulletproof vest silently answers your interrogations.

“You're one of those brits,” you sigh in relief.

Well, half-relief. You may not consider them your enemies anymore, but unfortunately, that doesn't mean the opposite is true.

He scoffs at your remark, apparently mildly offended.

“Scottish.”

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[boundinparchment]

Patience

A moment between Dottore and his young daughter. Established Dottore/Original Female Character. Part of the Heretic and Forsaken series. On AO3 here.

“Ya ruhi” > “my soul”

“Abi” > “Father”

A faint tugging barely tore Zandik’s attention away from the report in front of him. Without breaking his focus, he spoke softly, only enough edge in his voice to warn, never scare.

“Remember: be gentle.”

“Blue,” came the reply, proud and excited.

“Yes, that’s blue. What else is blue, ya ruhi?” he prompted.

“Hair!”

Out of the corner of his eye, the Harbinger caught a tiny hand reaching for his hair. She was dexterous for her age, eager and excited; however, she didn’t know her strength and Zandik was well aware of the consequences of it. Deftly, he reached up and redirected her hand so she gripped his fingers instead.

“Yes, my hair is blue. So is yours.”

He skimmed the rest of the report and then cast the paper aside. There was still plenty to do, especially in the aftermath of it all. He needed to oversee soil and water samples for traces of elemental energy, evaluate Leyline flare-ups from residual memories that didn’t burn properly, allocating resources and smoothing over conflicts. The latter was hardly his problem directly but Pierro would ask and it was better to have an answer ready.

Without Archons, humanity could take back the reins, finally. They would know this world and all its secrets and wonders.

It would be better. Born through revitalizing fires, sprouting from the ashes anew.

“Abi?”

It was refreshing to hear his language from someone else and caught him every time. He'd been away for so long, shunned from it, but he could never truly erase the traces. Karina emphasized that she wanted their child to know who they were, where they came from, and language was vital. He agreed (after all, he'd studied dozens of them himself) and was filled with an odd sense of pride every time he watched eyes glow when something clicked in her growing mind.

His daughter shifted in his lap and tapped her hand to his cheek softly before she experimented and brushed over the scruff he hadn’t bothered with as of late. She giggled, running her hand one way and then another. He never grew out an entire beard (too much maintenance) but some mornings, there was no time for more than scrubbing away the day’s dirt. Especially when Karina was away.

Zandik carefully pried her hand from his face and blew kisses into her palm. She squealed and his heart lurched at the sound.

This world needed more of that.

“Having fun, ya ruhi?” he teased.

Her smile was an echo of her mother’s; congenial and sweet in a way his never could be. Eyes like emeralds, so verdant that he’d been bizarrely relieved. But then he was left with the question of how recessive red eyes were after all; he would find out eventually, he supposed, if Karina was willing. Such gems contrasted with a head full of thick blue curls, her one defining and unmistakable trait of her parentage.

“Yes! Love abi!”

“I love you, too. It’s late. Do you want to—“

“‘Spection!”

The little girl threw her arms wide, narrowly missing her father’s nose. Her diction would come with time, he reminded himself as he collected her in his arms.

“Exactly. We’ll inspect the lab and make sure everything is safe. And then it’s bedtime.”

He felt the pout more than he saw it, an idle hand playing with his earring as they walked.

“Sleep is important, ya ruhi,” he chastised carefully.

She couldn’t fall into his habits. As wide as her eyes were about the world, she had time for it all. And he wouldn’t sacrifice her wellbeing for his selfishness of wanting these moments to last longer.

The quiet was better than outright protest, but only just. Her acceptance of authority made these moments easier, certainly. Soon enough, she’d be telling everyone no and seeing how far she could get.

Soon enough, she’d be too big to be carried.

Zandik shifted her slightly to rearrange his hold as he pushed open the door to the laboratory. Nothing as grand as what he had at the Palace but large enough that he could do as he needed. He went about, pointing to things and speaking clearly, letting her touch what wasn’t dangerous, asking her simple yes or no questions. Now was not the time to engage in larger topics but if she asked, he answered in ways that felt complete enough for now.

She could learn about crystalflies properly another time.

He watched her face light up as he tidied up his desk and locked away important papers. Really, the most imperative things were in his mind, but written records were crucial.

“Mama!”

An excited hand pointed to the metal arm resting on a stand atop his desk. The plating was removed, wires dangling in organized heaps, the sharp fingers angled like a claw.

“That’s right,” Zandik said before he kissed the girl’s temple. “Mama’s arm.”

Karina came back with a strained expression and the arm in her good hand. The device was made of the strongest metal and the finest circuitry; he’d crafted it with care he didn’t know he was capable of. She’d handed over the arm with an apologetic kiss and then hugged their daughter tight with her good arm, holding back an expression he hadn’t seen since…

“Abi fix mama?” She said it with an upwards inflection, the way she did when a toy broke or something went wrong. Worried for nothing except her mother being able to hug her.

Zandik held the child in his arms a little tighter.

“Yes. Yes, abi will fix mama’s arm.”

#oc: karina alexandre #dottore #il dottore #dottore x original female character #fluff #will eventually post to AO3

[acotarxreader]

Shadow and Flame pt 4

Azriel X Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions but no description of torture, mentions of burns, punchable High Lords

A/N: Okay Part 4, added action and suspense with higher stakes hehe Please let me know what you think, your words are so encouraging. Also as an aside Lúdás is an Irish word for traitor, a little trivia in there for you, without the fadas for ease of your own pronunciation.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

*********

Drip, drip, drip.

You rolled the back of your head along the damp brick, trying to release tension from your shoulders, knees cuddled into your chest for some ounce of warmth. Your hollowed eyes resembled the deep chasms beneath the Autumn Court where your cell rotted and shuddered. The soaking air leeching any semblance of inferno from you.

Drip, drip, drip.

You groaned at the sounds of your Father's guards passing through the jail corridors, throwing a glance towards you as they marked your presence. Three months of the same routine. Three months since your father rebroke your bones and shattered your soul but Azriel was safe, Velaris was safe. A consolation prize. You had stopped crying soon after being locked down there, mourning a life for a moment you thought you could have. 

Drip, drip, drip.

*********

“At what point do we just get a big net and steal him away in the night?” 

“It's not funny Cass” Feyre reprimanded the Illyrian, the Inner Circle gathered for a family dinner in The House Of Wind, Azriel notably absent. Plates piled high with food went untouched as you were once again the topic of conversation. 

“Well it's gone beyond sulking, he's locked up in his room, staring at a candle he won't let anyone blow out, he's frightening the staff'' Amren glanced towards the staircase leading in the direction of Azriels chambers. 

Elain lurched forward suddenly, the table turning to her in confusion.

“Something is- something is wrong with Lucien” the table looked frantic between one another. No one had seen Lucien since Azriel had all but banished him from the circle. Cassian flew from the chair up the stairs, crashing into Azriels chambers to find it empty. 

“Azriels gone!” Panic grew in all of them. Had he gone back for more? The table dispersed in chaos, darting in different directions to where they believed they'd find the two. 

*****

“Azriel, this is becoming very much too Illyrian for me” Lucien stood suppressing his shaking legs, blood running from his face.

“No such thing” Azriels eyes were wild, scorch marks scratching his leathers. The two stood warrior stance ready, books, papers, and furniture askew across the scope of Lucien's office in Velaris. Azriel had had enough, enough waiting, enough wondering, enough hurting. He believed you ran from him that night three months ago and he had become determined to find you again, to beg for clarity. Lucien had the information he needed, he was able to get to you before and he would help Azriel get you now, even if Illyrian persuasion was needed. 

“I will not tell you about YN, I do not know the answers to your questions” Not all untrue for the Prince of Foxes. He had begged his father for leniency towards you, offered himself for replacement but it was no good, he was iced out by his family's court once again. Lucien couldn't tell him any of that, he didn't want Azriel chasing Autumn's Daughter enraging their father further

“You lie!”

“I do not! And I do not understand this infatuation-” 

“Infatuation! That's what YN said I had that day in the woods, that came from you! Now tell me your meeting place!” Azriel threw his shadows to slam into Lucien, knocking him for a moment off balance. That's all Azriel needed, he sprung for the Emissary, pinning him to the bookcase of his study, sending more books crashing. Truth Teller now in hand, Lucien allowed panic to show in his eyes as Azriels raged in storms and clouded pain.

“I-will-not-tell-you-where-my-sister-is” Lucien choked out, face rapidly losing colour. Sister. Sister. Sister. The word crashed over Azriel, he released the pressure stepping back. Lucien caught his throat and massaged his crushed windpipe. Shit he thought, blaming the temporary cut-off of oxygen on his admission. 

“Azriel!” Rhysand winnowed into the chaotic scene with Cassian by his side. Azriel stood, pale face, processing.

“You lie again Emissary” he seethed

“I do not, she is the Autumn Court's daughter, my…our father's pride and joy. She is…she is his to use” he slumped slightly, the nature of the Court of Autumn's conduct always a source of disgrace for him. Azriel pushed his mind from having an existential crisis, his whole purpose for existing was to know everything about everyone and you had fully slipped through the cracks, what else had he missed in work?

“Oh my Gods, Az you fucked Lucien's sister” Cassian broke the silence in a very Cassian way, Rhysand hitting him in the chest. 

“You. What?” Lucien bit out, flames came to his side once more, cocking his head in challenge. 

“I-” Lucien leapt forward tackling the conflicted Shadowsinger, sending him sailing to the ground as they rolled in hand-to-hand combat. Cassian caught Rhysands arm, pulling him back from intervening with a “let them at it” facial expression. 

“FIRST YOU COME FOR MY MATE! THEN YOU COME FOR MY SISTER! IS NOTHING SACRED TO YOU HEATHENS!” Lucien blared as Azriel rolled, using his wings for the upper hand, rolling until he was on top of Lucien.

“YOUR FUCKING SISTER IS MY MATE” Azriel had Lucien pinned by the arms to the floor as he roared, the air almost sucked from the room at the silence that followed. Azriel let Lucien's arms go with a thud before standing again, dusting the soot off his leathers. Lucien pushed up off the floor, wiping a forearm along his bloody lip.

 

“Az” Rhysand tried softly as Azriel strode over to look out the window of the study, down on the winding streets of his beloved city. He raised his hand without facing the three, needing a moment of reprieve. 

Lucien looked at Azriels two lost Illyrian brothers before moving cautiously behind the Shadowsinger, laying the most gentle of hands on one of his shoulders, soft heat radiating through. 

“Azri- Az we will get my sis- your Mate back” Azriels wings slumped slightly at his frenemy's words. 

A maroon envelope burst into the room to land on Luciens desk, the four looking conflicted towards it.

***************

“Stand” the darkened figures' chilling voice carried through the dimly lit passageway and across the cell bars. You released a breath from your long broken soul before standing on weakened wobbly legs, the weighted shackles tethering your wrists grinding against your movement. Rings of water encased in the shackles for good measure.

“Arm” was grunted at you as the cell door unlocked itself allowing the males to step in. 

“Ludas, we went to training camp together. Can you at least look at me when you order me around?” you raised your eyebrow to the tall male figure in front of you. The back of his hand sliced into your face with centuries of training and force, sending you crashing to the floor swearing as you slammed into it.

“Do not speak out of turn” 

“Oh I am so telling your mother when I get out of here” you scoffed, spitting the blood in your mouth at his shoes and pushing back off the rocky wet ground, the male slightly tensing at your words. 

“Get it over with, whatever lashings you have” you threw out your arm and closed your eyes waiting for the whip that didn't come. Only a weight release from your wrist. Your eyelids shot open to find your shackles smashing to the floor, metal bracelets filled with water replacing them. Before you could question, a hood was thrown over your head, and a weight shot into your stomach as you sailed over Ludas’ shoulder. 

You landed with a thud on a cold solid floor, the sound of flame whispering sorrows for you. The hood was snatched, blinding sunlight sent your head screaming as you tried to adjust after three months below the Court. 

Your focusing eyes landed on Eris' face, who looked as though he'd seen a ghost and in some way that's what you were. Your copper eyes greying, mud and moss coating your hair, shirt and trousers torn to shreds from the beatings and rats you fought off nightly. A long call from the copper princess he saw you as the last time he saw you. Another deserter you thought to yourself. 

“Stand and smile Daughter-” your screaming eyes shot to the male sitting on the throne of your people.

“-it's the eve of your wedding day after all” vertigo. You felt vertigo. Your eyes spinning in your skull, unable to summon any ounce of strength until darkness met you once more. 

******

Lucien walked slowly towards the envelope as if it could strike him at any moment. The three watched, Azriel’s stomach beginning to do turns on itself. The headed paper slipped from its casing, the Autumn Court emblem proudly on display. Lucien's sorrowful gaze read down the sheet as if it were his very own life sentence but it was yours. The paper fell from his shaking hands to the floor beneath him as he turned and vomited into the filing cabinet adjacent. A wedding invitation addressed to the Night Court members.

**********

You woke up to the warmth of fire, fire not belonging to you, unsettling you instantly. You sat up in the brick red sheets, ignoring the whirlpool headache growing in you. You felt different, you felt clean. You looked down to see deep forest green silk covering you, your hand shooting to your now soft and shiny hair. Your trembling legs brought you to the mirror in the room you didn't recognise. You had returned to your beauty as if the past few months never happened. But there in the mirror, you saw the staunch reminder that it very much did, the metal and water bracelets swirling around your wrist like the bonds they were, tethering you without chains. Your hand found a small scar along your lip where Ludas had marked you, it still trying to stitch together under your weakened powers. 

Your eyes frantically searched the room for the door out, with none to be found, you had been winnowed into this new plush cell. You felt yourself roar. Roar and roar and roar. 

“YN! You'll wake the hounds!” You whipped around to your father's voice, how long had he been there? He looked so put together, so reserved, nowhere near the man who roasted your skin on flames of rage three months previous. 

“Leave me go, I've done my time, I-”

“Now does that sound very like me?” Beron laughed sickly, sitting himself down on the sofa, arms spread along the back, the picture of ease, his wild flame daughter tamed. He looked at you like you were his pawn to play and you had never felt so much so. 

“The Shadowsinger was an interesting side quest for you wasn't it?”

“Stop” he laughed at your attempt at defiance, you couldn't hear him speak of Azriel, he'd shatter you all over again. 

“Tomorrow you will marry the General of the Vallahan Legion-”

“-I will do no such thing!” You snapped, your father standing back to his feet. 

“This back-chatting is getting out of hand, where's my malleable piece of copper gone?” 

“You killed her” you said so eerily calm, unwavering steeliness growing in you. 

“Well I suggest she resurrects herself ahead of her nuptials” ice dripping from his voice as his searing touch caught your wrist pulling you in. 

“Vallahan will be powerful allies and I have graves picked out for you and your brother's precious night court. You will behave. You will do as I say or you will join them in the dirt”

“I will go to my grave regardless if you make me marry him” 

“That can be arranged once you've signed the dotted line for all I care” and you believed him. He didn't care once his pawn had moved into place who took her out. He stood again, easing over in your direction, his flames leaping to life, willing to ignite chaos at their master’s will.

“I hope you’ll cheer up dear, you’ll make your guests so very sad seeing a weeping bride, although not that they’ll be smiling for long” you went cold at his tone, what does that mean you screamed inside your head and he laughed as if he could hear you. 

“Well now YN, you know very well that I enjoy killing two birds with one stone”

“What are you planning?” 

“Oh please don’t say it with such hatred. I’m giving you a wedding present, one last look at your beloved Shadowsinger” your eyes went wild at his words, you moved to lunge for him in pure unadulterated anger but his flames wrapped around you pulling you to the ground without burning you. 

“Sleep well my piece of copper, big day for you tomorrow, I'm so proud” he caught your chin so roughly, eyes piercing through you, releasing your face with a jolt and dissolving into flame. 

******

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[milkyrrr]

(Inspired by @mono-the-robot artwork)

Awakening

Emptiness. Silence. Darkness.

Nothing. That's all Eclipse felt when he died. He didn't want anything. He didn't wish anything. Only rest in peace.

What was he feeling when he suddenly woke up? He could feel his whole body itching and aching with pain. He couldn't even make a sound to express how uncomfortable he was. He didn't understand what was going on. Some kind of noise that seemed to be trying to get through the vacuum to his auditory module, the darkness gradually dissipating in front of his visual module and turning into a vague veil before his eyes... Where is he?.. What is happening?.. Is this life after death?..

The body gave in to the movements with difficulty. Eclipse could barely move a finger, let alone turn his head and look around.

Hunger. This is the next thing he felt after the aching pain all over his body. He felt hunger with every cell of his body, with every atom of his existence. Is it possible? He's an animatronic, they don't need to eat food!

But...

It was a wild hunger. The desire to tear apart. Biting into someone's throat. To hear the screams of agony and horror of the victim.

What is it? Had the kill code awakened in him? No, Eclipse did not deny, he always had a craving for murder, he literally consisted of it, but it seemed to him that he put this thirst for murder and the suffering of victims into Bloodmoon, partially getting rid of it in himself. He wanted to be smarter than his dumb father and... brothers? Children? Eclipse didn't care about these family ties. He considered Bloodmoon to be nothing more than a creation that got out of control. Oh, if he had been a little more far-sighted then, he and Bloodmoon could have made a lot of chaos. Perhaps his plan could even come true.

But that was in the past. He died. So why does he feel this way then?

"....ke up..."

What?

"......Wake up....."

Where did that voice come from?

"Wake up, Eclipse."

Eclipse felt an electric shock run through his body. And then finally he heard himself. He screamed.

And he saw.

"Oh, I see you're already awake," nodded someone standing in the shadows, quickly clicking something on some device and turning off the flow of electricity. Eclipse felt his arms and legs become lighter. He was able to get up and sit down on the table where he had been lying all this time. Oh, that's it. He was literally strapped in without being able to move. That was the reason of the strange pressure on his whole body.

Head tightened into a ring of pain. Eclipse growled in displeasure, clutching it and squinting. It hurted so much. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel like life after death. It usually doesn't hurt after death. At least, not in such a "mortal" way if that was even possible.

"I'm hungry," Eclipse said irritably, realizing that he wasn't alone in this strange dim room, "I don't know who you are and nor do I care, because you're going to die right now."

The animatronic abruptly jumped up from his bunk, rushing towards the shadow in the dark. But suddenly his whole body shuddered and froze just a few inches away from the stranger. Eclipse opened his eyes wide in amazement.

Those eyes....

"What is it? Why did you stop?" He heard the sneer in fusion's voice.

He knew this guy. This dumb fusion... They didn't cross paths personally, but Eclipse knew of his existence.

How... what... Why?...

"Why?"

"Why what, dear? You should word your questions more precisely if you want to hear accurate answers," Ruin cooed playfully, bypassing Eclipse and finally appearing in full height in front of him. His mutilated body left a lot to be desired, there was a feeling that it was enough to bend this little man for him to split in half. But for some reason, Eclipse couldn't hurt him.

"Why did you remade me? Without a purpose? For fun? In order to use in your stupid doomed to fail plans? What do you want from me?" He growled in displeasure. Head still hurt. And hunger burned inside. Eclipse roared in angrily, slamming his fist hard against the iron wall, leaving a small dent.

Ruin didn't even flinch.

"Don't worry, my dear Eclipse. I'll give you a purpose. I am your purpose," he took Eclipse's face in his hands, forcing him to bend over, "Oh, I see... I see this anger and hunger in your eyes... You're just gorgeous," he whispered enthusiastically.

"My perfect creation. Don't worry, this is just the beginning of our rise. Very soon our eclipse will cover the sun, the moon, and no one will stop us. Come on, my errand boy. I know how to satisfy your hunger..."

#tsams #sams #sun and moon show #my art #sams ruin #tsams ruin #sams eclipse #tsams eclipse #sams au #tsams au #the sun and moon show #villainous trio au

[iwaasfairy]

no cs omg fairy my big big brain is working !!

what if atsuko wasn’t an only child? what if he had a little brother who loved mom too?? sibling rivalry??

tw implied incest, jealousy, manipulative tendencies on ko WhATS new

if atsuko x mom!reader had an even more complicated situation

Ryota’s eyes are dragged from the pretty shape of the falling cherry blossom petals with a force greater than him. He looks over his shoulder, hands tightening slightly on the bike handles— just in time to avoid Atsuko’s attempt at slapping him in the back of the head. As he dodges, he pushes the meathead away by the arm, and kicks out his leg at his shin. “Heard you coming, motherfucker.”

“For once,” Atsuko grins when he still manages to land a mostly good-spirited squeeze at the back of his neck, and the younger man’s shoulders jerk up in protection. When he falls into step next to him, they both turn the last corner as the warm, evening sun makes harsh shadows. “Don’t you have volleyball training to get to, brat?”

“Don’t you have some teachers to bribe, dick?” He sighs. “Practice is canceled because our captain is home with a fever.”

Ryota’s dark eyes stay on his brother’s face when the grin curls up onto it. Of course Atsuko doesn’t falter. “Ah. My good name got you into school without a scholarship- you should be thankful.”

As they’ve grown older some of the edge has splintered away from the accusations, and now only a smooth surface remains. One that keeps the peace. One that doesn’t leave bad impressions. The older brushes his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face, before sliding his hands back into his pockets.

“Is Tooru getting mom anything for Mother’s Day?” Ryota asks after a brief break, and his brother just shakes his head.

“Well, except the usual… treatment on a holiday,” the lighter brunet’s mouth pulls into a slight line, absentmindedly scratching his arm, “I don't think so. No trip or anything at least, they just had their anniversary trip.” He doesn’t hesitate to swing an arm over his shoulder as he squeezes him under his shoulder. “And you can call him dad.”

That’s something he doesn’t feel the urge to respond to.

“Are you gonna do something?” He ends up asking.

The older man now frowns at Ryota, who raises a hand in flimsy protection. It’s not the first time he’s gotten into trouble for less. His arm slips off as soon as it came when he straightens up with a frown. Ko nii can’t truly think he’s subtle. No, in fact, there is no way that anyone with eyes can mistake it for anything else. Still Atsuko asks. “What kind of fucking question is that?”

“It’s a fucking question, anii,” Ryota bites back, frowning too now. It doesn’t last long before he forces it off his face though, seeing the house come up at the end of the street. You don’t like seeing them not get along— and for what it’s worth, when Atsuko’s not acting like a possessive tool, they get along fine. “D’you wanna do something with mom as a family?” He adds after a few seconds of silence.

Silence where Ko nii seems to mull his answer around in his mouth until it becomes acceptable to say, or maybe until the bad taste fades. He’s got a glint in his eye, and his mouth stays shut for too long. It’s almost like he’s debating just telling him after all. But the unspoken knowledge is enough, isn’t it? It doesn’t need to be more than that.

That way he can still pretend. Ryota laughs. “Right. Forgot you wanna have it be a private audience. Should I stay at someone else’s house for the day or can you control yourself?” Atsuko’s grin can’t be wiped from his face. If it was Ryota, he’d at least have some fucking shame about it.

It seems like that thought hasn’t even crossed his older brother’s mind. And without meaning to, he lets the slight sourness on his tongue fall out with a complaint, rolling his eyes. “You should probably re-learn about sharing. She’s my mom too-”

“Yeah?” The older basically skips a few steps ahead, before running his tongue over his teeth and grinning as he takes off towards their garden. “Too bad. If you wanted a bite you should’ve been born first.”

He makes a face. “That’s fucking gross, anii.” His bike clicks as he rolls it behind, and his eyes scan the green for you. Only one thing gets his brother that giddy- his eyes stop to run over you where you’re reaching up to the branches of the trees, and picking out some early apples. Atsuko tackles you into a broad shouldered hug, before picking you up under your legs and into him, and he can hear how your giggles echo the street. You look good, pretty. The sweetheart dress you’re wearing clings to your waist and with how Ko nii’s hands are glued to your ass, he does see it.

He’d have to be blind not to see it. You are pretty. You let Atsu kiss you on the mouth but pull back when the big fuck probably tries to slip his tongue in. Freak. Not that that stops the barrage of love the guy heaps on you as Ryota drops his bike onto the grass. You only pull away from where Ko’s pretty much biting kisses down your throat to aim your beautiful smile on him instead, and he can’t help but feel warmer when holding up his hand.

“Hi, ma.”

Your tangled fingers pull from Ko nii’s hand to reach out to him as you rush over on sandals and your love glitters at him when he gets close. It’s like a tidal wave that coats everything in heat, warm and soft and kind like you’ve always been. What Atsuko’s doing is fucked up, but he does get it. “Baby~” You wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down, and he lets his hands clench tight around your waist.

“I missed you so much.” He doesn’t pick you up, or kiss you, or basically make out with your neck— and you place a loving kiss on his cheek before wiping your hands on your dress. “Thank you for coming home, I know you’re busy at school.”

“It’s really- it’s fine. Missed you.” He doesn’t mean to stoke the flame, but as he looks up through his lashes he meets eyes with Atsuko. Who’s chewing his bottom lip to get rid of the ever so slightly agitated grin— that only tightens when Ryota finds himself winding his arms around you a bit tighter. Enough to pull you off your balance and make you laugh, before pushing away as you look between them both.

“Do you guys want to take a dip before dinner?” The sun casts the pool in perfect dappled light. “I took a dip earlier and the water is just right~ if you get the chance.”

Atsuko only waits a second before he reaches his hand back to you to stroke his thumb along your neck, then pulls you in when he softly tangles his fingers into the base of your hair. “I’ll go if you go.” You don’t hesitate to brush that off and roll your eyes, but your hand still lands on the lighter brunet’s chest. His eyes shift to where the younger brother is still standing in the front yard, slips his hands into his front pockets. “Ryota wants us to do something for Mother’s Day in a couple days… Any requests?”

The hand that’s still on your neck now moves down your spine, lower, lower- until it traces over the fabric to brush along the edge. When you don’t respond, your face turns to his questioning, and a bit shocked. But Atsuko isn’t. “What about a repeat of last year, mom?” He asks, and drops his lips to your temple after a self-satisfied grin. “Maybe I’ll keep it a surprise for now. I know what you like.”

He shrugs as he walks away with you still left in your spot on the deck— taps the door frame on his way inside. “Ryo’s back, dad! I’m gonna give mom a massage in the master bedroom. She worked so hard today.”

#tw.incest #tw.dark content #tw.yandere #honey mail #🍯.honey pot #💫oc.atsuko

[snitchcrimsonwrites]

Maybe pt. 2

Pairing: Norm MacLean X Female Reader or OC

Former friends to a relationship?

Life is pretty easy in Vault 33 until you're trying to rekindle a former friendship and raiders attack. Now, our main characters are trying to navigate newfound feelings all while undercovering the mysteries of Vault 33. Stay tuned. Follows the main storyline of season 1; some events may be reordered for plot.

Some of the conversation feels a little clunky, but we want these two to make up and move on, right?

Part 1 Here

Norm hates this feeling. Laying in bed, he can feel his stomach twisted in knots. This gut-wrenching feeling has kept him up most of the night, realizing he’s got to make a decision. As far as he’s deduced from his sleepless night of pondering, he’s got two primary options. 

Option A. He pretends yesterday’s conversation with (Y/N) never happened, and they continue exchanging small talk, pleasantries, and those awkward neighbor half-waves until the end of time. The scaredy cat in him prefers this option. It avoids confrontation and maintains the status quo they’ve held for the last couple of years. It is simple and lacks any unnecessary entanglements. Things just go on according to plan. He’s done it before, it can easily be done again. 

OR he can proceed with Option B to confront (Y/N) about what she said in the cafeteria yesterday. This option has sparked his curious side. Cause that entire interaction was odd, wasn’t it? Norm had so many questions, but are they worth pursuing? Opening that can of worms could lead to more problems, more decisions, and fewer answers. No. He needed to know. Curiosity might just kill the cat, but at least he’d be able to sleep at night. 

(Y/N) worked in one of the maintenance labs as Vault 33’s official Pip-Boy Programmer—one of the perks of doing well on the Vault G.O.A.T exams. Norm was eager, planning to stop by the lab first thing before he headed to his desk. Unless someone had major issues with their Pip-Boy, they’d probably have the lab to themselves that early. Alright, it was decided. He threw off the certified Vault-Tec comforter, climbed out of bed, and headed toward the shower to get ready. 

—--------------------

You were already at your desk, pretending to be occupied, when Norm MacLean appeared in the doorway of the lab, leaning on the doorframe and fiddling with his Pip-Boy. Truth be told, you were half-expecting him, especially after yesterday. But maybe not this soon. You were hoping he’d stew on this decision for at least a day.

“Good Morning, Norm. Pip-Boy on the fritz?” you ask, knowing full well that the reason he was here had nothing to do with his Pip-Boy. Even if his Pip-Boy was malfunctioning, Norm was more than capable of taking care of that repair without your assistance. 

“Yeah, I think I’m having some software issues. Do you think you could do a diagnostic run for me?” 

You smile, “Of course. If you wouldn’t mind taking it off and filling out the repair form, I can start right away.” 

He complies, handing you his Pip-Boy and taking the clipboard with the attached Vault-Tec paperwork. As he starts on the paperwork, he estimates he’s got roughly twenty minutes of fake errand cover to work with. 

You attach the Pip-Boy to the diagnostic cable running from your computer, load up the program, and wait. “It will just be a few minutes to get a full picture of what’s going on,” you reassure him. 

“That’s fine. My supervisor knows I was having a few issues with it this morning,” Norm says, barely looking up from the clipboard. 

The two of you fall into awkward silence, neither wanting to be the first to break it. 

You relent. “Hey, I’m sorry if yesterday made you uncomfortable. I know we haven’t spoken much at all lately, but I heard about what happened from Reg, and I just couldn’t stop myself from coming over. It wasn’t right of me to use your situation as my catharsis, especially since we had that failing out. I should have respected that. We can continue on as we were, friendly neighbors in the same Vault.” The words stuck in your throat on the way out. That’s not what you wanted, but if that’s what Norm came here to say, better get it out of the way sooner. 

Oof, now he felt terrible. Norm should have known you’d apologize for thinking you made him uncomfortable. That’s your nature. You’ve always been empathic to the needs of your friends. He needs to come clean. 

“I never wanted that.” 

I’m sorry. What did he say? He never wanted that. To stop being friends? Your brain was going a mile a minute, swirling with questions, too many to vocalize at once. Thankfully, Norm elaborated before you even tried. 

“I never wanted to stop being friends, but the closer we got to graduation, the more effort you seemed to put into exams and passing, being the best in the class. You had ambitions and goals, and (Y/N) you could achieve them. You didn’t need to be dragged down by the Black Sheep of Vault 33.” He tries not to think about his label, and usually, it doesn’t bother him. But right now,  it weighs on him; it feels laminated across his forehead, defining him. 

“Norman,” you manage to sigh out. “I’ve always admired that about you. That’s what I meant yesterday. I wish I had the confidence to act that way before now; I’m sure I’d be much happier. After my dad passed away, I wasn’t sure how I was going to navigate,” you gesture to the air around you, "everything. I was on my own, and subconsciously, I picked up on the reality that the better I did in that classroom or for the Vault, the more control I thought I could have over my life.” 

She didn’t need to explain. He knew exactly what she meant. It is kind of an unspoken rule of Vault 33. Obviously, those who did well on their exams got matched into the most coveted jobs within the vault, but those placements also impacted other situations. Those higher-achieving students had more say in when and to whom they were married, more access to leadership positions, and the list goes on. 

“I had no idea how my life would go, but at least I knew I wanted a hand on the steering wheel. I mean, I’m not sure if I actually want to be married or if that’s part of the programming to be in a relationship, but whatever happens, I want it to at least feel as though I made the decision." You pause and add, "Seriously, could you imagine if I got stuck having to marry Chad Johnston?” 

Norm snorted. The juxtaposition of his former classmates as a married couple was hilarious. Those two couldn’t be more opposites. “Well, at least he’d have someone to teach him to read,” he managed between laughs. 

This garnered a snicker from you as well. “Haha, you’re hilarious,” you say in the most sarcastic tone you can muster. “So, what do you think? Can we act like adults and finally move on? Or do we double down on whatever self-destructive tendencies we’ve got going on here?” 

“Hmmm, I don’t know about you, but I’m really leaning into that second one.” He pauses and puts his hand to his chin. “On the other hand, it might be nice to have lunch with someone I’m not related to.”

DING. “Vault-Tec Pip-Boy diagnostic program is now complete, no issues were detected.” 

You both smile. “Well, it looks like the software issues seemed to have resolved themselves.” 

“Isn’t technology incredible?” Norm asks as he stands to leave. 

#norm maclean #norm maclean x reader #norm maclean x oc #fallout #fallout tv series

[vialovesyou]

𝗳𝗲𝘄 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗪 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗞𝗘𝗬

driving to drew's apartment this late was never ideal, especially since y/n was tired after a long shift having have had to stay longer to help a student land her jumps, which was incredibly hard since the student had two left feet. y/n’s head could have used some advil, and she would have been perfectly happy to stay home and sleep for twelve hours.

but when rudy called her, groaning and saying your boyfriend is wasted and won't shut up about you and you need to come pull him him to bed, she went. it was as simple as that, partially because drew was stubborn when sober and only got worse as the night went on (code for he won't listen to anyone but her )and partly because y/n got a sweet kick out of his clinginess and extra loving.

when y/n finally knocked on the apartment door, the sound of austin sighing finally as he swung open the door doesn't surprise nor offend her. madelyn and madison scurried over, welcoming her with hugs and jokes about how sorry they were that they had to call her while chase and rudy tend to the drunken blonde.

" it's alright " y/n reassured. " i don't mind "

the tv was on playing a re-run off star wars, as beer cans and empty solo cups littered the table. pink floyds's dark side of the moon played from a speaker nearby as monica approached. drew was reclined back on the ground, an arm thrown over his eyes while his other tapped along to the song. monica crouched down next to him and could hear him humming the tune.

jd stood behind y/n, feeling a little helpless " he's been talking about you nonstop since he got, like, three shots deep "

" and as much as we love you guys together " madelyn added, leaning into chase's side. " he doesn't listen very well once he gets started "

y/n shot them a smile over her shoulder before speaking. " it's okay, i get it. you guys can go if you want, this might take a while " y/n hummed, causing everyone to bid there farewells before they left since they were exhausted. madelyn, madison, chase and jd all left to their respected apartments while austin and rudy went into their rooms as monica turned her attention back to the troublesome boy. " drew? time for bed "

" i told you to fuck off, madelyn. i just want to see my girl " he grumbles without moving an inch causing y/n’s heart to flutter at the nickname. " your girl? " she questioned, a teasing smile on her face.

" yeah, you know the beautiful one?"

" might ring a bell " she muttured, shifting so her legs were crossed in a basket beside him. " yeah, well, she's the most.... the most beautiful person in the history of... of forever. so get outta here and go flirt with chase or somethin' " he lazily waved her odd, mumbling something she didn't quite hear.

a smile fought it's way onto y/n’s face as she gently placed her hand on the smooth pane of his shoulder. " oh, but i wanted to flirt with you instead. how's that sound, hm? "

drew quickly pushed her touch away, seemingly still not recognising his own girlfriend. " it sounds like my girl is gonna come for you any second now, so watch it blondie. she might be small but fuck me she can be scary " drew slurred his words as he spoke, pulling a laugh from y/n’s lips. she gently took his wrist in her hand to remove his arm from his eyes and pressed a kiss where her fingertips touched him. his eyes stayed closed, as he jutted his chin in the opposite direction in protest.

" drew, baby, i'm not killing anyone any time soon " she spoke, leaning over his chest while running a hand through his hair. he opened one eye, suspicious of her claims but quickly realised it was her , and turned to look at y/n like he'll never get the chance to do it again, his expression swallowed by a smile. " when did you get here, darlin' " he asked, smooching kisses against the girls face causing her to scrunch her nose up.

" oh, just now " she answered, laughter lacing her words. " rudy called me over " she pressed a kiss to his forehead before sitting back up, her hand quickly engulfed by his.

" you should've come sooner " his other hand made it's way to her thigh, smoothing over her skin. " i was waiting for you by myself, and - " he abruptly sat up- " there's something i have to tell you " he whispered, casting a glance to his bedroom door. " it's top secret "

with him this close, y/n could smell the vodka on his breath. " yeah? what is it? " she asked, looping her arms around his neck as he pulled her onto his lap causing her to straddle him. her fingernails scratched at the nape of his neck, to which he instinctively responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and rubbing the palms of his hand along her back.

" this is top secret, classified information, sweetheart. you can't just get it for free. everything comes with a price !" he grinned slyly, tugging her closer. knowing drew, she already knew where this was headed but played along anyway " name it, then. i'm sure we can strike a deal somehow " y/n fed into him.

he mulled over his words before speaking " hear me out "

" i'm listening " y/n reassured, shifting her hips so she could sit more comfortably. " you " he pointed at her chest. " give me three -no, five kisses for the info up front" when y/n raised her eyebrows in suspicion, he continued. " and every follow up question is worth another kiss "

#outerbanks #drew starkey fluff #rafe cameron angst #drew starkey angst #obx #rafe cameron #drewstarkey #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron smut #jjmaybankangst

[dirtytransmasc]

writing a little peace on this, cause I can, and I hate myself and my feelings.

@aliyah-the-creator

~~~

amidst the fear, confusion of everything had just been told, and the foggy pain in his head that lingered with him since waking alone in the stranger forest, he didn't think to ask where his eldest brother was.

neteyam was always a strong, sure leader, always protecting spider, always being a good play buddy and better big brother, even if he was technically younger.

but after days of not seeing him, of no one mentioning his name, even if the feeling in his gut warned against it, even if his he searched any and all of his young mind for a reason he may not be there, he asked. cuddled up to ao'nung in the quiet of night, the blanket that was seemingly very important to the older boy wrapped around him, he asked where the oldest sully boy was, in a tiny voice that shook with some forewarning of anxiety.

he felt his brother take a deep breath, saw the tears gather in his eyes, and he knew something was wrong, something was really wrong. he might be young, but he wasn't clueless.

"we'll talk in the morning spi, I promise,"

"'nung," he protested, not wanting to be kept in the dark, not for so long, not long enough for his mind to twist this anxiety into a monster that would haunt his dreams.

ao'nung just looked at him, biting his lip, begging his eyes to stop tearing and his throat to stop hurting. he could tell his baby brother knew, at least knew that something was wrong, but he just couldn't get the words to form on his lips.

how do you tell a little kid their big brother was dead, had been dead for months, died on a rescue mission to save them, despite his memory freezing neteyam's life at 5 years old, alive and well, not yet faced with the responsibilities of being an adult, or the next chief, or the son of the great toruk makto, or the keeper of his brother. he knows spider doesn't remember the tired lines of his brother's face or the weary slope of his shoulders bowing under the pressure life put on him. how does he tell spider he can't even see his brother again because he is and has been with eywa for months now.

what would he do when spider reacted. when his little heart broke and all logic or reason flew out the window and his world collapsed from underneath him. his big brother was dead, no child would react well to that.

he tugs spider in as close as he can, pressing his nose into sandy locs, tears blending into the curly new growth. he couldn't do it, he didn't have the strength to tell him, he could be strong on so many fronts, but not this, not neteyam, not his friend who he had lost so long ago.

"please spi, in the morning, its... complicated ok, and it's not something I can tell you on my own," he knew that would only have more questions, but he didn't know what else to say, he just had to hope that spider's trust in him would be enough to settle him.

"ok," spider half squeaked, half yawned. ao'nung knew his head getting the best of him, and knew he had to calm him down.

"I'll be here all night tsmukan, you know that, I'll scare all the monsters away... and I'll be here in the morning, and we'll talk, all of us I promise."

spider nodded, clinging his little arms around ao'nungs neck, curling his knees in and letting his brother tuck him close to his chest. his stomach felt like it was tied in a million knots and he could feel his brother's tears bleeding into his scalp, could feel his chest tremor as he barely muffled his own cries. he knew neteyam was gone, felt it somewhere deep within him, in his heart, where eywa presided, he didn't know where and he didn't know why, but he knew his brother was gone and he wouldn't be seeing him again.

he started to cry himself, the tears burning his cheeks a little, ao'nung holding him a little closer, if that was even possible. sleep didn't come easy for either boy, they both drifted between sleep burdened with painful memories and monsters born of fear, and a tired hazy wakefulness. they rose with the sun and found solace on the beach together.

ronal and tonowari knew the instant they found both boys out on the beach, deep in fitful sleep, that the question they had all been dreading had finally reared its ugly head.

they carried both of their tired boys back to the family hut, ronal cradling spider all through the remains of early morning, only waking him for breakfast, tonowari curling ao'nung at his side, a hand in his hair, the other finding spider's little fingers. tsireya watches on with worry, knowing how deep neteyam's death cut ao'nung, it was part of why he was so persistent in making things right with spider; he wouldn't have regrets, he wouldn't lose any more time with people to his childish manners, he wouldn't cut his time short like he had with neteyam. she knew that this, would not end well for either boy, and she knew that she would end the day with a reopened wound.

by lunch both boys were groggily awake, clung to both each other and to their parents. the sully's were gathered after afternoon meal, and there was a heavy silence in the pod as all knew why they were gathered but not one of them could say the words.

ao'nung gathered the boy up to his chest once more, the pair sat between their parents. spider watched as his siblings gathered in the pod together, kiri and lo'ak holding onto each other, kiri holding tuks hand while she sat with jake and neytiri. he felt his breath come short and fast, felt his lip quiver and his eyes swell with itchy tears once more. he was tired of the silence, and frustration got the better of him.

"where is neteyam?" he asked, his fake bravado wavering letting his fear shine through. the silence persisted, even as spider stared the group down. "where is he?" he asked again, looking to his mother and father this time.

ronal goes to speak but is beaten by neytiri.

"he's gone, child, he was killed by humans many months ago, he died-" she cuts herself off, spider felt his mother tense behind him and saw jake shoot a look at his mate.

"he what?" he wanted to know, wanted to know what she would say, why his family didn't seem to want her to say it.

after protests from all around, spider still insisted she finish what she wanted to say.

"he died, protecting you, because he loved you. you may not remember much of him, we are unsure whether or not you ever will, but I need you to know that he loved you..." there was more she wanted to say, that was very clear to almost everyone in the room but spider, his young mind finally taking it in, understanding, that his big brother was dead and gone, that he would never see him again, that he might not even remember him again. he broke down sobbing while his family looked amongst themselves for any sort of direction as to what to do next.

what they were all surprised by was the fact that it was neytiri that moved to comfort him, sitting in front of ao'nung, who just about allowed her to trace a finger up and down the side of his grief-stricken face.

"it isn't fair," he whispered, looking her in the eye, barely halting his own tears long enough to speak.

"no it isn't, but he gave his life so you may live, you and lo'ak, because he was a good brother. he protected you when I could not see my own failure to kame (see into), to protect you like I shoulder have. so do not, for one second, blame yourself for what happened, do you hear me, ‘evan tsatu ‘awlie ma'itan? (boy that was once my son)" she spoke strong and sure, despite the fact she was in the very same state as the boy in question.

"what happened?"

neytiri looked to Ronal, unsure if she could keep going, ronal only nodding, fighting her grip around the boy, kissing his head and then ao'nungs, before pushing spider towards neytiri. the boy held out his arms and she lifted him into her lap, ao'nung darting into his mother's side.

ronal new the boy would never stop wondering, conjuring potential scenerio's in his head till it spun or he got the memories back, both of which would be a torturous wait. he needed this, to heal this bond, to know what happened, to gain closure.

"you had been taken, and... and I allowed us to leave our home without you... you spent many months with the demons, because of our failures. neteyam and lo'ak were given a chance during one of the first great battles to retrieve you, and neteyam did because he couldn't trust us to go back for you. he saved you and lo'ak, got you out of the ship safely, but he was... he was shot by one of the soldiers on the boat. it was our fault, spider, not yours. I only need one thing of you, parultsyìp, is that you do not blame yourself." she held him tight, tighter then she ever had before, and she felt something deep within her hurt. why had she not done this before, he fit so perfectly in her arms, he was meant to be there, she felt it in her soul. why had she failed this child so horribly?

he nodded, sniffled, burrowed deep into her stomach. his head spinning with far too much information, yet he wanted to know more.

he turned to his siblings, finally scootching from neytiri's arm, going to lo'ak and kiri, tuk shifting away from jake and joining her now very similar in age brother in their older siblings embrace. he felt lo'ak holding him the tightest.

"I was the one who told him we should go back, because I hadn't the night you were taken,"

"lo'ak," kiri tried to comfort, clearly used to lo'aks habit of taking the blame.

"its true, I wanted to go back, nothing will change that. not saying what I'm all to blame, just... can't hear mom taking all the blame."

kiri rolled her eyes, clinging closer to spider, "he is with The Great Mother now spider, he is at peace now, you don't have to worry about him anymore. you worried about him a lot, remember, always trying to be a good big brother to him, even if he insisted he was older."

spider did remember that, always gentle with neteyam despite being the size of him as an infant while spider was nearing 18 months old. always careful to not hurt the baby, to protect him from the harms of the lab.

"he is happy now, with Eywa, that's all the matter's. it's very sad that we lost him so soon, but he is with my mother and tsu'tey and trudy. he is with the family we have lost. he rests from a life of duty and sacrifice, and he left us protecting what he loved most; his baby brothers." she spoke with a sort of wiseness that could only be held by a child of Eywa, a child in tune with The Great Mother's heartbeat.

she kissed his forehead before getting up and pulling lo'ak with her, "be with your family, monkey boy, we'll talk later."

tuk didn't say much, only sniffled a goodbye, hugging him tightly before following her big sister. neytiri picked her up gently, tracing fingers over spider's head once more, baring her teeth at jake when he tried to leave without speaking to the boy. he backed away from the pods doorway, kneeling in front of the boy.

"I'm sorry, spider, I should have done something, but even now... I am nowhere close to being as strong as you are, little man, you don't even know it. I know... you can't go see neteyam, but I'll say hi to him for you, I promise, next time I see him."

spider nodded, as enthusiastically as one could, given the circumstances. he hugged jake, not wanting to let go. he knew jake wasn't his father, not anymore, but he still clung to those few good memories, of jake, coming to the lab and playing with him, or taking him out into the forest the first time. it was confusing, but for just a moment, he allowed himself to seek comfort in a man that apparently never wanted him.

when the sully's left he rejoined his families huddle, curling himself right back int he middle of it.

"you were very strong today little one," his mother spoke softly, "but you do not always need to be strong. you lost a brother, you are allowed to do much more then cry."

"I know... I just... my chest is full, but it won't come out, and it hurts. I don't want him to be gone mama, I don't... I want neteyam."

"I know sweet child, I know. but we must accept what is true, no matter how painful. you will feel the grief and loss of your brother for days, weeks, months even. but we will all be here to help you, to guide you as you feel his loss."

he nodded again, his throat hurting from the tears to talk.

"he was a good friend, I only knew him a short time, but he was very good to me and to your siblings, I am very sure he was an amazing brother to spider, and that you have many memories of him," tsireya spoke now, finally breaking her pained silence amongst the family. neteyams death had wounded her, witnessing it was enough, but she was left with his body for hours, to hold his hand and brush back his braids and have the pain of loss pounded into her. like ao'nung, the topic was a sore, unhealed, spot, and she was not handling it well.

"he was much better then I ever gave him credit for," ao'nung added, "I only knew what I had, I didn't see how good he was, how valuable a friend I had, until I lost him and I have not yet stopped feeling that pain since that day. I'm so sorry spider, that you have to feel this pain too." ao'nungs strong face fell once again as he held his brother close once more.

tonowari couldn't find the words to bring his children comfort. all that needed to be said had been said half a dozen times. spider didn't need more words he would barely understand, he was too young for this, had been before eywa had blessed him, but this was a new level of young. tonowari doubted the boy truly understood half of what had been said today, and he would not add to the list of thinks he would think over again and again in his mind. he just held his family close and promised them that all would be ok once more, in time, and that this was a blessing, no matter how painful, to heal wounds that were once mangled and bloody, into scars that held stories.

#na'vi may not be 100% correct #also #explaining death and greif to a child is fucking hard #so I just let the words flow #cause thats sorta what you have to do with kids #especially if they understand the concept of death #but have questions they don't truly understand/they could never understand the impact of the answers at their age #like telling a kid someone died saving them without having them blame themsevles #anywho #spider socorro #miles socorro #miles spider socorro #hi'i'tsyil te fkew'weopx tonowari'itan #neytiri #jake sully #running away from his problems per usual #kiri sully #lo'ak sully #tuk sully #neteyam sully #ao'nung #tsireya #ronal #tonowari #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water

[li-esonthefloor]

NO BUT REALLY where the fuck is julius. do you know how hard it is for me to whump ludger during the game's events and i'm stopped by the part where julius has every reason and motivation to be present and just ISN'T??? (even chronos chasing him for like four waymarker chapters and another exodus attack doesn't make sense for chronos) i know julius' character profile in the encyclopaedia implies he just couldn't bring himself to face ludger and answer but its just that the entire game is structured around not letting these two talk to each other or else the entire plot would fall apart and i just [bloody stick figure biting] how am i supposed to write ludger suffering without julius when it doesn't even make sense to me that julius would have zero contact with ludger.

*lies down* i love x2 very much but there's a reason why a grand total of none of my finished fic ideas happen during canon 😂

anyway maybe that jogs your memory of what you were thinking cheers

😂😂😂 ok i think i wondered about. maybe him doing some of his hiding in some fds on and off, for various purposes not necessarily limited to avoiding the cops (and his little brother) (should those be switched? 'his little brother (and the cops)'?). they could have had something useful for him in theory. idk how plausible that is since all the fd information should have gone straight through spirius, but also the man is very tech-savvy so who knows maybe he built a backdoor so he gets heads up when fds pop up or whatever that might not necessarily be canon speculation, it may be some kind of subplot in an au or something LOOOL i really dont remember....

#IT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION WHERE TF WERE YOU MY DUDE #i guess the best thing for him to do at that point aside from the guilt and whatever really would be to stay away from ludger since. #gestures at their dual wanted posters #didnt wanna make that situation even worse #but so little contact really was. unnecessary 😂 #you have an untrackable cell phone my dude #and a little brother who REAAAAALLY wants to talk to- ah yes i see the problem #i think i ASSUMED that he had something actually useful to do. somewhere. somehow #though if that's not in fds then idk wtf that would be #because everything trial-related is at spirius............................ #maybe he went to the beach and sunbathed #maybe he went bar hopping and played poker the whole time #maybe he found a sugar mama who didnt keep up with the news and lounged around her house for a while #maybe he.... im running out of stupid ideas #tox2 tag #v #reply #i think the realest answer is he literally just sat somewhere and stalked ludger on his phone without blinking day in day out