#[ then few days later when I was going through extreme thoughts + emotions 'cause of Mother's Day ]

[doobea]

I CAN MAKE YOUR BED ROCK - RIN ITOSHI

synopsis: You're a famous online smut author, married to an international superstar athlete, and everyone around you thinks you have the perfect sex life. What they don't realize is Rin sleeps in the guest room and you're still very much a virgin.

contents: fem!reader, explicit content, they do basically everything BUT seggs (oral male and female receiving, sexting, fingering), extreme word vomit and narration in the beginning, characters are all in their mid/late-20s, romcom, honestly they're figuring themselves out, mdni word count: 4K a/n: honestly, idk why the word count keeps increasing everytime but i tried to make this as fluffy and emotional as possible?? please have respectful eyes and thoughts when reading :3c - again if u wanna be added to the taglist just comment below hehe

三 : Baby, my room is the G spot -> prev. -> next.

You've spent the past few weeks mulling over your "passion project"; spending the majority of your days writing till late as three in the morning, back slouched and brain caffeinated, convincing yourself that each paragraph written was perfect. But recently you've found yourself hating every word, every sentence, and every character development point that you've produced. If it wasn't for the fact that you've poured over 30,000 words into the novel you would've scrapped everything and started over. Something felt off.

You groan, kicking your legs underneath your office desk and slumping over in your chair. The words on the screen didn't even look like words anymore. You can't count how many times you've rewritten the same paragraph. Writer's block is killing you and you blame it on your husband.

It's been exactly three days since the dressing room incident and, unlike grown adults, you both decided it was best to sweep it under the rug. There was a small window of opportunity to speak about it but it didn't help that minutes later the store manager put two and two together and implemented a lifetime ban against you and Rin. Needless to say, the drive home was dead silent. But at least you received the clothes for free!

Of course, a million questions ran through your head, trying to piece together what even caused Rin to do that. The most far you've gotten with him was limited to heavy make-out sessions, and even those are a rare occurrence. Your not-so-obvious plan of trying to seduce him worked (it was Shidou's idea), so why do you feel like you're back to square one?

The messaging app on your laptop hops up and down before its jarring ringtone blasts through the speakers. You click 'accept' when you see the names of your familiar penpals pop in the middle of the screen and enter the call seeing eerie smiles coming from everyone.

"So," Bachira sings, eyes gleaming with intensity, "how did it go?"

So much for “hello”.

A soft blush creeps its way to your cheeks and it doesn't go unnoticed by your friends. A chorus of 'oohs' and 'aahs' follow suit and you feel even more naked than you were days ago.

"It went well, like super well." You meekly recall the explicit events that occurred in the dressing room, stumbling over the details as you remember your husband's careful movements against your skin and lower regions.

The four men sit up straight, whispering to each other with wide eyes 'See? I told you so!' and Shidou proudly puffs out his chest at his genius plotting.

"But," And this is where everyone stops in their tracks and tenses, "we still slept in separate beds afterwards."

Betrayal and disgust are written on their faces.

Hell breaks loose as the men raise their voices at the same time, a series of fake cries and spurs of curse words that you haven't heard before leak from the device. You hastily connect your Bluetooth headphones to your laptop to hopefully drown out the sounds since Rin is still very much at home - just in the other room.

"Guys," Your voice strains, "everything will be okay." The reassurance is more for yourself than for anyone else on the call.

"I just wanna know what your husband is thinking." Chigiri presses his lips together in a tight line.

"He's bold enough to finger fuck you in a dressing room but doesn't have the balls to just sleep in the same bedroom?" Shidou scoffs.

Hiori raises a hand to interject while wearing an uneasy expression, "You ever think there's something that happened in his past that's causing him to avoid certain amounts of intimacy?"

You draw in a deep breath before shaking your head, "Honestly, I'm not sure if there's much on his past and we've always danced around the topic." More like Rin would always try and excuse himself from the conversation during the few times that it did happen. You've assumed the number of partners is probably more than the average person, given the fact that he's a popular athlete and gives off 'male lead' energy in a drama.

"Here's a wild thought to consider!" Bachira shares his screen, and the contents of a poorly drawn-out graphic bearing the colorful words 'TOP THINGS TO DO TO SEDUCE A VIRGIN' pops up. There is a step-by-step guide with weirdly in-depth descriptions for each point. The points labeled 'force them to share a bed' and 'lingerie' were scribbled out while being accompanied by a sad face.

"What am I looking at exactly?" You blank at the screen, ignoring the suppressed giggling fits coming from Shidou and Chigiri in the background.

Hiori clears his throat, "We were all thinking that maybe your husband is also a virgin." The jarring statement causes you to choke on your saliva but he continues on, "It's clear that he cares about you from what you've told us, and maybe the dressing room incident caused him to have some sort of confidence in his performance? We believe he's just shy and is waiting for you to initiate the process."

Chigiri nods in agreement, "And given that he's avoidant talking about his past relationships, it could mean he just doesn't have any partners and assumes that you probably had plenty."

"But why would he even assume that?"

"Because," Shidou launches himself close to the camera, "you're literally a smut master. You don't think he's looked up your shit even once?"

You open your mouth, trying to fish the right words to respond, and nothing comes out. You find your legs bouncing rapidly against the hardwood floor and gnaw at the bit of flesh in your mouth, a sudden surge of a mix of anxiety and excitement bursting through your veins. "This—I don't think makes sense." Except, you think, it does. It 100% does make sense and you want to hit yourself on the head for not catching it earlier.

Bachira lets out a long whimsical sigh and zooms in to the top of the graphic, enhancing the words 'SEND HIM NUDES, "You can start with this and," he scrolls down to the next bullet point, "follow up with my favorite foreplay: sexting!"

Subconsciously, you find yourself reaching for the phone, staring hard at the background photo of you and Rin on one of your earlier date nights. The photo had poor lighting quality due to the only source being his small apartment TV at the time. The two of you were seated against the couch cushions on the floor, knees pulled up to your chest and his arm awkwardly wrapped around your shoulder. It was your first couple's photo together after a long movie marathon. A shitty but precious photo nonetheless. You find yourself thinking, maybe the third time is the charm?

Rin shuts his laptop after another hour-long session with Anri, feeling everything but relaxed. He didn't go into much detail on what happened, fearing both judgment from his therapist and recognition of the lack of communication skills - so he lies. He didn't care if Anri was able to sense it, Rin knows he's a bad liar, but he also knows that he probably shouldn't be venting with a distracted mind.

He tosses his headphones to his side and lays down on the bed, limbs sprawling out in all directions to try and release some of the tension in his body. Ever since what occurred three days ago, he's been struggling to act like his usual self. His kicks have been sloppy, rushed, and just filled god awful accuracy. The meals that he tried to cook himself right afterward always end up tasting burnt for being on the stove a minute too long. And you? Rin remembers you asking if you had wanted to talk about it shortly after but he was quick to decline. A bit too quickly. He knows he should've started the conversation but restless thoughts of insecurity clouded his judgment.

What if you secretly hated it? What if you faked your orgasm? Will anything that he'll do live up to your prior experiences?

He shudders at the thoughts before snapping back up from the mattress. Rin needs to relieve this stress build-up by doing the only thing he knows best and starts packing his gym bag for the training grounds.

When he pokes his head out, he vaguely overhears muffled voices along with your fingers rapidly typing away at your keyboard, and exhales. You're still busy in your weekly meeting and that means he can have plenty of alone time if he doesn't bump into his teammates during after-hours. Rin quickly fills up his water bottle, throwing in a couple of ice cubes, then dips.

Luck is finally on his side as Rin steps onto the open turf field with no one in sight. He lets out a deep sigh, throws down his bag, and dives deep into his routine work. His mind goes numb an hour in after scoring against the dummy goalie for the nth time, his accuracy returning at a steady pace, and finally decides to take a quick water break. Just as he finishes relacing his cleats, a familiar buzzing sound catches his ears, glancing down to see your text.

my love "are you alone right now?"

He pauses and stares. For some reason, he feels like this is a test and hesitates an answer. Are you in a bad mood? Are you asking to have a long-winded phone call over the incident? Rin's shaky fingers hover over the phone's keyboard and, before he has the chance to say anything, you send over the next message.

The first thing he sees is 'IMAGE RECIEVED' and the second thing he sees is a pair of breasts. Your breasts. It's a faceless photo but he recognizes the white lacey outfit from the boutique. You had one of your arms pressed under your breasts to elevate them for extra volume and your thighs were spread open just enough for your folds to slip through. Rising temperatures and aches soon force their way down to his stomach and growing length.

Even though Rin knew he was alone, he snaps his neck side to side just to make sure before replying.

Rin "looks nice"

He immediately regrets it. It's not like he plays nonchalance very well, either way. Rin is fast to recall back to the erotic novels he's read and pulls together a message that is more fitting and elegant in his eyes.

Rin "do you want me to come back?"

You're quick to respond back and he grimaces.

my love "no."

But you continue to his surprise.

my love "but if you're alone do you mind touching yourself?"

Rin inhales a sharp breath and palms his evident aching length through his shorts, it's burning to the touch. He's confident that there aren't any cameras that are still on, there was no point if everyone else went home for the day, right? Rin finds a comfortable corner in the arena and presses his back flush against the cold wall, pulling out the camera app on his phone. He adjusts the position so that his lower abs are in frame and tug down his waistband enough for his head to poke out, already wet and raging red from precum, and snaps the picture over.

my love "oh wow wait you're at practice rn?" Rin "don't worry too much, im the only one here" "do you want to see more?"

There's a moment in pause and Rin thinks maybe he's overstepped his place as he watches the text bubbles reappear and disappear soon after the other. But soon you return with his message with more than what he can bite.

my love "dont finish just yet! come back when you're done with training and let's have a talk." ATTACHMENT: 1 IMAGE

And it's a photo of your ass.

On instinct, his fingers brush over his sensitive head and he bites down his lips to contain a threatening moan from escaping. As much as Rin would love to pleasure himself shamefully on work grounds, curiosity, and some sense of morals, crawl back to his senses.

Rin "be back in 15"

With a quick toss of his water bottle and ruffling for his car keys, RIn has never driven home at lightning speed till now.

You find yourself pacing back and forth in your bedroom, heart hammering against your chest as you fiddle with the lace hanging from your bodysuit as a failed attempt to calm your nerves. A part of you wants to thank your friends for their suggestions and another part of you wants to hide underneath covers because you still can't process that this might be finally happening.

Sounds of keys jingling by the front door halts your movements and you could hear your husband frantically tossing his shoes and bag on the floor - an uncharacteristic trait for someone neat like Rin. Before you get the chance of covering up in any way, the athlete rushes into your room, seemingly a bit out of breath. His usual teal eyes now have a familiar dark overcast over them, similar to how he looked in the dressing room days ago.

You press your thighs together, shyly averting your gaze from the male, and cough, "I think we both need to confess something so I'll go first. I want us to explore more intimately but I want you to know that you're going to be my first for essentially everything." You make an anguished noise, flush, and look away. Rin doesn’t press it, but the silence falls over, and it's a heavy one.

You hear him let out a small, but audible, gasp of sorts. Then some shuffling. Then a soft plop. You look up and Rin is sitting on your bed, patting the spot next to him and shooting you a gentle smile. Pressure that you didn't even realize you had is released from your body as you sit down, immediately reaching out to interlace your fingers with his. You sink your head against his broad shoulder.

"You're my first for everything too," Rin admits followed by a hushed sigh, his cheeks tinted red, and it looks like he's going to either laugh or cry, you can't tell but, from the moonlight shining through the windows, you can at least see that he isn't terrified. "So let's take care of each other, okay?" And gives your hand a tight squeeze.

Rin reaches over and tugs you to straddle in his lap. It's not awkward, almost easy, and you follow the eager voices chanting in your head as you lean back between your husband's firm thighs. Arms loop around his neck and your eyes lock, meeting his dark and seemingly naive ones. There is enough natural light flowing in that you can count each individual eyelash, notice the small movements in his pupils as he searches for permission, how his lips tweak from both nervousness and hunger, and that his skin is essentially flawless.

You take the initiative and the kisses that you leave on his collarbones are enthusiastic, needy, and messy - more displaced saliva than anything else. But neither of you cares enough. Rin lets out the slightest of moans and his hands find their way to your thighs, thumbs pressing down hard that leaves you wondering if there's a chance for bruises tomorrow.

His grip on you tightens when your lips hover over his flushed ears. You decide to play with this discovery and drag your teeth over his right ear lobe, almost moaning in response to the noise that escaped from Rin's mouth.

"I didn't realize that you have sensitive ears." You continue to playfully nibble his lobes, managing another groan from the male.

"Don't push it." Rin breathes out before pressing one of his thumbs against your covered folds, humming in contentment when he realizes that it's completely soaked. As he circles around your heat, he hears his name slipping through your plumped lips, a distinctive whine that makes his cock twitch. "Let me try something real quick."

He sets you aside and gets up, desperately tossing his sweat-covered t-shirt and unbearable sweats from his warming skin. All clothes from his body are stripped and forgotten on the bedroom floor as he stands fully exposed and watches your flustered figure with nothing but instincts taking over.

Rin lays fully down on the mattress and motions you to climb on top, ass facing him. If your face wasn't red before, it sure is red now after putting the indications together. "Come here, let me make you feel good." His voice is coated with needy intoxication and you obediently follow his commands.

You carefully hover your lower half over his face and lay face to face with his twitching head, mind racing as you try and figure out how exactly are you going to fit him in your mouth. It should be a crime to be this dangerously attractive and pair it with something so big. Before you get the chance to grasp his length, your body jolts and a shriek escapes your lips. Looking over your shoulder, you see Rin spreading your warmth apart with a smirk etched onto his face.

"Relax," is all he says, pulling down your thighs, and your mesh-covered mound meets with his impatient tongue flicking and drinking your soiled leakage.

You let your mind blissfully go blank and struggle to not grind your hips against his nose. Your ragged breathing hangs over his leaking tip and it twitches angrily in response. Finding your strength, you curl your hand around his throbbing erection, giving it a few experimental strokes, immediately taken aback by how firm a penis can be.

"A bit looser, love." Rin hisses out between your legs, his mouth now covered in a mixture of your fluids and his drool. He's fighting a war in his head, debating whether to stop to look at your cute attempt to swallow him whole or continue to ravage your dripping folds. The second option sounds infinitely more appealing, he thinks.

You mumble out a drunken apology and adjust your grip. After a few strokes and vibrations of him groaning against your lower half, you finally find the courage to consume his impressive size. Your lips wrap itself around his head and Rin is doing everything that he can to not shove the entirety of his cock down your hot, welcoming tunnel. The combination of your crazed moans and juices are like honey in his throat and it drives him insane. The swirling from your tongue around his tip and your bobbing head movements send his hands to grasp each side of your ass, he whines and kneads against the soft fat.

"Fuck," Rin knows he shouldn't buck his hips into you, especially since you look like you're still struggling with his length, but it feels too good for it to go unnoticed. "Don't stop, do that again."

You let out a hum against his head in response, sending static shock to his legs, and repeat the process again. Rin chooses not to hold back his moans, not when you're both figuring out each other's bodies for the first time, and he allows the heavy fog in his vision to swallow him whole. His fingers dig deep into the flesh of your ass and grinds your hips back and forth on his mouth, making sure that your hood rubs against the tip of his nose for added pleasure. A minute passes and Rin feels the pressure building faster than he can even warn you.

"Baby, I—" He gasps out, the knot quickly comes undone in his stomach and unintentionally releases in multiple spurts into your mouth. Rin feels you choke in response, and knows that the load is way more than what he usually produces. His head rolls deep into the pillow and cries out a moan when you attempt to swallow with his overly sensitive cock still between your lips.

You pop his wet length from your now sore jaw and laugh weakly, "So that's what semen tastes like."

Rin grunts and proceeds to flip your body onto the bed, earning a loud yelp from you, "Still need to finish you off." He slips between your legs, resting his mouth on top of your wet mound, and sucks off the remaining slick through the mesh fabric. You almost clamp your thighs together from the sensitivity but his arms stop your actions.

Your hands grab at the bedsheets, knuckles turning white from the obvious burning sensation slowly building up in your stomach as his mouth makes its way over to focus solely on your itching nub. You feel him tugging the fabric to the side and you immediately release a loud mew, curling your back against the mattress when his fingers feel their way inside your mushy entrance and pumping in all the right angles from before.

Encouraged by your response, he speeds up his pace and feels your tightness form as you writhe under his touch. Rin soon notices that your body has gotten too tense, knowing the struggle that you've caught yourself in as tears threaten to escape from your eyes. He pauses his fingers inside and coos, "I want you to look at me as you cum. Can you cum for me?"

You say nothing but your insides couldn't help but to pulse against his fingers after hearing his daring words. He takes that as approval and resumes his speed, mouth latching back to its original position but this time his half-lidded eyes don't falter from yours. Hands fly to tear skin at the broad shoulders beneath as you breathe out his name in ecstasy. Soon you're scrambling against him, lifting your hips from the wet mattress over his fingertips and face, wanting more, and Rin realizes that you're stumbling through a messy, hard-fought orgasm that he's completely responsible for causing. The juices spilling from your sobbing canal leaves him fuzzy and ransacked as he struggles to consume them.

He gets up, wipes his slick-covered mouth, and watches your chest heave from a mix of exhaustion and pleasure, "I'll be right back."

Your vision is blurry, to say the least, but you make out the subtle lighting turning on in the background, the sounds of a faucet running, and then the touch of your gentle husband as he makes brief dabs with a towel against your nether regions. You groan at the contact.

"Does it hurt?"

You shake your head, voice barely there, "Just a bit sore, it was really intense."

A chuckle rolls off his lips that send flutters to your already pounding chest. Rin feels his lips twist into a smile that matches yours, unable to fight off the feelings of warm affection that bloom deep in him as you stare deep into his gaze. He bends down, planting a chaste kiss on your sweat-ridden forehead while undoing the strings of the laced bodysuit. "I'm sorry, let's get you out of this thing and clean up, okay?"

You run your body under the rush of the warm water in the shower, cheeks flushed and mind still processing the fresh events. A negative creeping thought gnaws against your skull, saying that maybe he'll sleep in his room again but that dissipates when you hear him entering the bathroom. You see your naked husband looking at the ground through the translucent curtains, almost in a shy manner, completely forgetting the fact that he dominated you just moments ago, and whispers, "Do you mind if I join you?"

It's your turn to laugh this time, "The shower you mean? Yea, you can."

"Mhm," He brushes the curtains away and steps behind you, hands grabbing your waist and pulling your bodies closer, "I meant for the night."

Suddenly, you find yourself smiling wide, it was infectious and silly, like you had just won a prize at the carnival fair. You melt against his chest and peer up into his sharp teal eyes, "Thought you'd never ask."

TAGLIST

@wtfsaekyuny , @jukey , @broeagleblog , @freakingdinonuggies , @damutaaa , @idk-bro-gay , @saharei , @yesurmajesty , @vvi-site , @saeswifeeeeee , @marilover69 , @izayumi-chan , @whostakara , @talleythesimp , @short-black-diamond ,@certaindreampost , @solellmn , @crnnbrry-blog , @itoshiexx , @punkhazardlaw , @jinedia , @mandapanda16 , @erintaro , @tamimemo , @comet-kun , @shinha , @milktkags , @benignnotions , @dinosaursraur , @karmatiz , @vernorexiaaa , @iloveblogging2 , @peachcobblerinmymumsbasement , @keiitsune , @talleythereader , @redqueensmutt, @blissblossom

#blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #doobea writing #itoshi rin #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin x reader #blue lock smut #itoshi rin smut #rin itoshi smut #bllk smut #i can make your bed rock - rin itoshi #guys seggs is gonna be in the final chap who is excited #not me bc im the one who has to write it but #im feeding yall - a whole army #so i can take some pride in that

[ivyluvsyouu]

𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒕 𝟐

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔/𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: 𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄, 𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂,𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

𝑻𝒘: 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒎

𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄

"What?" He said as he dropped the bottle of wine, he was holding causing it to shatter all over the floor of his winery. The traveler looked down at his feet. "Y/n was killed on the commission" The traveler said keeping his head down the whole time. Diluc was in shock. He just nodded his head and cleaned up the broken glass on the floor. As he cleaned the glass a thousand thoughts ran through his mind. He couldn't believe you were gone. It didn't really fully register until he got home that night, and you weren't at home. He just tried to bury himself in his work to keep himself occupied. He bottled his emotions about the whole thing, and he didn't talk to a soul about it at first.

Kaeya had heard about your death, and he went to go check on Diluc. Even if they weren't on good terms, he wanted to make sure Diluc was okay. And much to Kaeya's suprise Diluc talked to him about it and how he was taking it. "I just can't believe there gone..." The whole thing made him somewhat closer to Kaeya. Kaeya would stop by the winery to check on Diluc.

𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂

You had gotten extremely injured during a fight with a Fatui harbinger and the doctors told Kaeya that you didn't have long left. Kaeya stayed by your side the whole time you were dying, and he did everything he could to help you. He knew you weren't doing well at all, but he still believed that you could get through this. He knew you were strong and that's why he was so confident that you would survive. So, when a doctor came into his office telling him that you wouldn't be alive much longer, it devasted him. You died later that day, and all Kaeya could do was sit and watch.

He didn't take your death well at all. He already had bad drinking habits, but he turned to alcohol even more for comfort. He took time off of the knights so he could grieve. He eventually returned to work, and he returned to his old self, but he never forgot about you. Even years after your death he still found himself having nightmares about you.

𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

"Y/n's what!? Nonononono you've gotta mistaking my Y/n for someone else they promised me they'd be careful on their commission." Itto said shaking his head to the person you had gone on a commission with earlier that morning. Itto didn't believe it when they told him you were gone. But when the person was silent Itto's heart sank. He could tell this person was being serious. He didn't understand. It had only been a few hours how could something go wrong in that short amount of time. His gang members were behind him while Itto was talking to the person. Itto just nodded and stared at the ground "I think I'm gonna take off for the day." He said in a disappointed voice.

That was the last time his gang members saw him for a while. He wasn't in any of his usual spots in Inazuma. He just left a note for Shinobu telling her that he needed a few months to get his thoughts together. He didn't know what to do without you. It felt like a piece of him was missing and no matter what he did he couldn't get the feeling to go away.

He eventually returned to Inazuma, but he never got over you. He would often say things like "Y/n would know what to do." or "I wish Y/n was here they could help" He never got that empty feeling to go away. It was like you took a piece of his heart with you when you died.

thank you sm for reading!! requests are always open!!

#genshin fluff #genshin x reader #itto x reader #itto angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin angst #diluc x reader #diluc angst #diluc x you #kaeya fluff #diluc fluff #kaeya angst #kaeya x reader #genshin headcanons

[guxciestone]

✧ CELEBRITY BIRTH CHART ANALYSIS ✧

— drake.

i’m very interested to look into drake’s natal chart because he has very unique placements. he’s a venus retrograde native like me! i hope you are having an amazing day and enjoy 🤍😊

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✨🦉 Aubrey Drake Graham was born on October 24, 1986 in Toronto, Canada. Drake is one of the most popular rappers of this generation known for his melodic/rhythmic sound and soft image. Drake started off his legacy and gained recognition from his acting career as Jimmy Brooks in ‘Degrassi: The Next Generation’. After his acting efforts, he started his career in rapping and music. He easily gained recognition and popularity after his debut album ‘Thank Me Later’ which published in June 2010. A list of a few of Drake’s popular songs are: Hotline Bling (2016), God’s Plan (2018), and Marvin’s Room (2011) Additionally, Drake also gained recognition for his meme-able character.

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he identifies as:

࿐ a scorpio sun, cancer moon, & leo rising.

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ㅤㅤ— his personality.❞

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Water Grand Trine indicates that Drake has a talent in expressing his emotions and relating to others, especially through creative pursuits such as writing, poetry, and music since his trine are in air houses. He is deeply empathetic, sensitive, and mostly isn't afraid to do so. Drake has a reputation of being a guy who is in touch with feminine side, and he owns it with no apologies. You can definitely see his comfortability with his sensitive side with his Moon in Cancer.

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Sun conjunct Pluto shows that Drake is an intense, powerful, and introspective guy who often undergos tons of transformations in his life, especially when it comes to his values, thoughts, and opinions on things with his aspect in the 3rd house. These are the types of people who go through different personas and different periods. I bet if you looked back at one of drake's older photos, you could easily identify what type of era he was going through in his life. One thing I can say is that he is a man who is willing to change and learn for the better. On the other hand, this does show someone could have control issues and have an intense obsession with power. On the darker side, if this person has power, they have the potential to use it for the worse just to establish respect for others and satisfy their ego. I definitely do think his obsessive need for power shows in Mars square Pluto, especially when it comes to routine and how he wants things to be. He might like things to go his way and only his way, and would do anything it takes for it be so (Pluto in Scorpio), even in unconventional ways with his Mars in Aquarius. I'm not saying that this is true, but there are rumors that Drake orders hitman on several artists in the past. I think it's fascinating how this aspect aligns with that allegation.

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Mercury square Ascendant shows that Drake struggles with communication and expressing his thoughts and opinions with associates and strangers during conversations. It is possible that Drake is an awkward person who he struggles with socializing a bit. On the other hand, he might just struggle with gettin his point across and could be easily misunderstood. Since his Mercury is in Scorpio and his Ascendant in Leo, it is possible that since Drake is a deep thinker and isn't uncomfortable expressing his intense feelings, people can almost be put off with how sudden his words are. This comes into conflict with his confident and bright disposition.

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Saturn square Ascendant can indicate that Drake struggles to express his natural personality around strangers and associates. With Saturn in the 4th house, Drake could've had a childhood that dealt with some type of restrictions, scarcity, or extreme responsibilities. Perhaps there was a strained relationship with the parents, financial hardship, or anything else. This could've caused Drake to develop a inherited shell in which he hides himself from others within the fear of being judged or criticized. He might be seen as too serious to individuals around him.

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Mercury conjunct Venus shows Drake's incredible talent in music, singing, and songwriting. He is also a beautiful communicator with his Venus in the 3rd house. In tons of interviews, Drake talks as though he is speaking poetry. He truly knows how to use his words. Not to mention, he is a good songwriter.

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Neptune trine Ascendant that Drake has the ability to shapeshift and become any type of character he wants to be. It is almost as though anyone can project their own fantasies and thoughts onto him and he'll become just that. Not to mention, Drake is undeniably talented in many areas considering that his Neptune is in 5th house. He's very versatile and has a performer quality with his Ascendant as Leo.

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ㅤㅤ— his relationships.❞

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With Moon trine Jupiter, Drake is a man with a huge and generous heart. He loves receiving love, and spreading love. People love to make jokes about how Drake is such a nice guy because he is from Canada. Astrologically, this aspects shows that. At one of his older concerts, he instructed everyone in the audience to give a person, even if they were a stranger, a hug. If that isn't Moon trine Jupiter activities, I don't know what is. With his Moon in the 11th and Jupiter in the 7th, Drake is abundant of any relationships and social connections. He could be very extroverted and has tons of friends and relations with people making him popular. He could also have a fruitful love life too and be very charming, especially with his Venus trine Jupiter. He is very popular with the opposite gender especially, and knows how to pursue them. However, due to these individuals being used to getting what they want in regards to love, pleasure, and materials, they could believe they could get literally anything they desire with no efforts or realism. Drake could struggle with believing that he cannot in fact have anyone he wants. At some point he could've lacked realism in his love life. These people tend to be extremely humorous too. Drake is a figure in the pop culture that is easily meme-ified nowadays.

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Moon trine Pluto shows that Drake is also an intense person when it comes to his inner world. He feels very deeply, especially towards his loved ones and friends since Moon is in the 11th house. He is probably the type have many associates but a close-knit group of friends that he calls family. It must be hard to get into his circle because he values his privacy and exclusivity so much.

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Moon opposition Neptune that although Drake is a compassionate, selfless, and charitable guy when it comes to his loved ones. He is also capable of being taken advantage of, or he is someone who takes advantage of others. He might be susceptible to projecting onto others or struggle to make sense of the people around him and his environment. Perhaps he has an issue with understand who is and isn’t his friends, which can cause him be surrounded by around a lot of fake people with Moon in the 11th house. It is best advised for him to make sense of it and keep his circle small as mentioned above.

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Venus Retrograde shows that Drake is a guy who feels love differently than others. He feels it deeply and in his own unique way. Consider the fact that this retrograde only takes about 8% of the population—a pretty rare placement. Drake, generally, has a bunch of karmic lessons surrounding love, material things, and self-love in this life. He has to deal with karmic relationships and scenarios in order to improve his views on love and the idea of it in general. With his retrograde being in Scorpio in the 3rd house, Drake could be someone who struggles with possessiveness and clinginess. He could even be someone who is flaky, flighty, and might have an issue with committing. It’s his lesson to learn how to truly connect with others on a deeper level and get to know people genuinely without leaving at every new interest. According to Drake in one of his interviews when people said that he cannot be single forever, " I love my space and my routine. For me to break that it would have to be a really special person." This quote is the epitome of a venus retrograde individual. 

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Jupiter square Chiron shows that Drake has life lessons that will change his views and beliefs, particularly in this relationships since Jupiter in the 7th house. His career and his image will be the reason as to why. Chiron in Gemini in the 10th house shows that Drake will experience wounds and traumas surrounding being heard in the public eye. Again, he may have to deal with being misunderstood by the people, which can cause the wound of feeling as though he can't express his thoughts and say what he wants to say. This causes Drake to have a different view on relationships and connections in general.

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ㅤㅤ— his legacy/image.❞

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Sun sextile Midheaven shows that Drake is a pioneer in his area of occupation—Music and the arts. It is almost as though the talent of songs, writing, versatility, and creativity comes natural to him, especially since his Sun is in the 3rd house. Additionally, he receives tons of attention, fame, and popularity. He is also highly respected in his industry due to his glamorous persona.

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Sun trine Chiron indicates that Drake is a confident, determined, and highly motivated man. Most importantly, he is incredibly versatile and talented with his Sun in the 3rd house. He used these traits to help himself gain respect in his industry especially with Chiron in the 10th house. This is allowing him to finally be heard and understood like he always wanted with his Chiron in Gemini. Mercury opposition Midheaven also shows how Drake has to deal with struggling with expressing his thoughts and opinions correctly to the public; hence, being misunderstood or not expressing himself at all.

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Venus opposition Midheaven shows that Drake finds his true pleasures in his private life. His personal life is where he truly finds satisfaction. With Venus in the 4th house, Drake definitely his pleasures in his home life, family, and security. He must also find pleasure in his privacy and people not knowing much about him and his life circumstances with his Venus in Scorpio. He prefers to invest in the luxuries of life with his loved ones when no one is watching.

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With his Leo Ascendant at the 29°, the 29° is the degree of maturity or near completion. With Drake, he probably at a point where has achieved ultimate full growth in how he perceived life, how he responds to his environment, and how he presents himself. In the past, he might have struggled with an ego or selfishness. Now, he is at the level where he is truly self-confident and secure in himself and he owns who he is with no apologies.

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🦉

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#astrology #natal chart #astro observations #celebrity readings #guxciestone #astro community

[renhaswritersblock]

hello!! could you do w, i, and o for abner on the nsfw alphabet? i am so desperate for content abt him lmao 😭😭 thank u for still writing him

Abner Krill (Polka-dot-man) - NSFW Request (I, O, W)

Me: Oh boy, Abner! I’ve always been wanting to write something about this colorful dancing king queen since I watched TSS. This is going to be fun!

[Two/half months later.]

Me: *Staring intently at a bulletin board covered in pictures and notes with red string connecting to them, not knowing what time or day it is.*

Life [Walks in.]: Hey, uhh– friendly reminder that you still have that Government paper due tomorrow.

Me: MUTHERFU–

[Weeks later.]

Me [On the floor, defeated by the heavy mass of writer's block, reaching towards laptop to press enter.]: Finished– *Get’s crushed by an anvil of more writing tasks.*

—

A/N: I had made a Venn Diagram of Abs, Bob, and Lonny to differ the boys since they all fall under the meow meow category. So, thank you for the wait.

Ima say this takes place after the TSS movie – don’t care if he died, as James A. Janisse would maybe say, “No body, no count.” (Same with Flag. *kicks book of Necromancy For Dummies under bed*)

Warning: Usual NSFW stuff, nothing too extreme. Made some parts long (cause I do what I want). Some head cannons that totally didn’t come up to me randomly while I was halfway through finishing. No proofreading, I go down in style. Is there anything smutty in the first half? No, not really. Did I get carried away again and build a oneshot sort of story? Perhaps. Will I ever make a long smutty moment in any of the alphabet requests? Idk. Hotel? Trivago.

Leans toward female reader pov, but mostly towards gender neutral.

Anyhoo, happy readings!

===

I: Intimacy (*looks over at the letter C* Perhaps, I misjudged you.)

Abner lacks physical and emotional intimacy – and you can’t really blame him for it. Being locked up in Belle Reve and made fun of by the other inmates for so long – and to top it all off, his condition and past – he doesn’t have good social skills nor the confidence to approach someone for friendly/flirtatious banter. Even when he and his Task Force X friends go out to celebrate their new freedom at a local club, he still remains reserved and hidden. So he thought.

Throughout the night, Abner watched everyone have fun while sitting in a booth next to a large – totally not a man-eating shark – distinguish gentleman with a mustache, staring intently at a fish tank behind them. Cleo was out dancing wildly on the dance floor with a group of people, Harley sat across the room drinking with three intimidating women, and both Flag and Dubois went somewhere private to chat and drink alone. He consistently looks around the large room, scanning the neon interior and dancing occupant exotically swaying side to side, sipping his drink until his eyes land on a certain someone sitting by the bar. You.

You idly sat on one of the empty stools, swirling your drink in apathy and wearing the most eccentric, colorful outfit that made you stick out of the crowd. Abner nearly choked, spitting his drink through his nose, and erupted into a coughing fit. He didn’t notice Cleo returning to the booth, rushing to sit beside him, gently hitting his back. You were alone – in fact – you looked like you were waiting for someone, glancing at your surroundings and at your phone every minute. 

Supposedly, your date should’ve been here an hour ago. They texted you the address to this place to meet you at a time that was way past your curfew. Without a second thought, you agreed. You spend your whole evening prepping yourself to look nice. The only attire suitable for your first night out was the one that made it look like a clown puked on you. Looking around once more, you scan the room in hopes of seeing your date, not spotting Abner a few feet away staring gawkily at you, swiftly ducking his head to avoid glances.

Abner could feel his face burn red hot, he couldn’t hear Cleo’s muffled words over the sound of his heart pounding in his ear. He finally drew his attention towards Cleo when he heard her say, your glowing. Instantly, he slaps his face out of instinct to check if his glowing rash started popping up – knowing already he expelled the dots before they left. This is a first… Cleo gaped as his face began to flare up into dim hues of blue and red to green and yellow. His eyes move back to you, staring at your phone with a bleak expression. 

Honestly, you weren’t surprised when the screen showed they left you on read. You figured they would bail at the last minute, wasting half of your night to embarrass yourself. Thoughts began running through your head as you felt your chest grow heavy. I think that’s enough for one night. Holding back your tears, you took a shot of your drink and tapped the glass on the counter, going to spin your chair towards the exit when a tall man wearing what seems to be also a colorful button-up blouse blocks your way, startling you. Abner stood stiff as a board, nervously smiling at you. There was a moment of silence between you two. You watched as he glanced over and back at you, sending you mixed signals. Curious at what he was looking at, you turned and spotted two girls looking directly at you, one waving shyly, the other giving a thumbs up, and a– Wait is that a shark in disguise and a rat also waving at us?

You snap your attention back to the man in front of you, hearing him clear his throat out of discomfort before introducing himself as Abner, reaching his hand out towards you. To your dismay, you mindlessly took his hand, shaking it while telling him your name. Abner’s heart flutters at the sight of you smiling softly at him. You catch a glimpse of his cheeks glowing strangely, thinking it could be the lighting in the room. He takes a seat next to you, mumbling if he can buy you a drink, his smile widening when you accept the offer.

Shortly after your second drink, you hit it off pretty quickly, talking about certain things the two of you like, such as movies, and him introducing you to the group – keeping a very close eye on Nana– Bob doesn’t do anything to you. 

Soon you two were on the dance floor, swaying and bobbing your heads to the music, and before you knew it, you were face-to-face. Abner remembered sharing a long gaze with you, feeling as if time suddenly froze. He felt his cheeks boil achingly, noticing your expression contort into a bewildered look. Random patches of colorful glowing dots appeared and disappeared on his face. His eyes seemed to change color, following the primitive colors. 

Although you admired the way he looked, Abner on the other hand took it as a sign of being repulsed, causing something to trigger in his mind. But before he could let the imagery into his head, he hears you call out his name, slowly approaching him. You ask if you could hold his hand, reaching out for it when he accepts. You both stood in the middle for a while, only listening to the music playing on the speakers. Once he felt himself subside, he pulls towards him, wrapping his arms around your waist. You did the same, putting your arms around his neck, whispering reassuring words. He burrows his face into your shoulder, embracing the unknown feeling in his chest as his face emits a dim glow once again.

O: Oral 

*Abner: Clitoris?! Labia Majora?! Damn girl, how many pussies you got?!*

Abs is ok with giving oral to his partner. He’s a lil’ confuse at first, but he got spirit. He isn’t on the top 3, but somewhere around maybe 4-5. Krill prefers to use his hands to stimulate you than his mouth – since he can be flamboyant. It’s also a way for him to be slightly dominant and in control, edging you as soon as you near climaxing. 

When receiving oral from you, he melts into a whimpering puddle – he’s squirmish and restless at times, but only because you keep teasing his tip and shaft for revenge. To him, the sensation never gets old.

W: Wild Card (*cracks knuckles*)

*inhales*

Liiiiisten.

There’s a hc I have for this guy, but I prefer not to say what it is since it’s quite…vulgar. That and it also goes with a letter that rhymes with see. So here’s two headcannons that are pretty tame. Also, I hc Abner to be a vers.

Anyways.

Whenever Abner is having sexual intercourse with his partner, showing his emotions can be rather complex than his platonic relationship with you. Thus when he’s trying to gaze into your eyes, all you receive is a wide-eyed stare as he thrusts into you. Another aspect of his is uncontrollable giggling. At any moment, when you're riding him, something in his head switches and causes him to be a laughing mess. You remembered briefly stopping to ask him why he keeps laughing every single time you ask that question his response is the same, it feels good.

===

A/N: Hope ya'll enjoyed reading, and thank you for liking/reblogging. I find it hard to express my emotions sometimes and overthink it. When I see that I'm getting positive remarks on a couple of stuff I wrote, I acknowledge and appreciate the kindness, but never respond to it. So again, thank you so much for the support. Next one's gonna be a Johnson request, and then whatevers on the to-do list.

#david dastmalchian #abner krill x reader #abner krill smut #polka dot man x reader #polka dot man

[hischierswhore]

I’ll request a Chris one cos there isn’t any yet and my boy deserves one 🥹 can I request one where the reader breaks up with her boyfriend and goes to Chris (her best mate) and he ends up confessing his feelings while comforting her? Like something super cute 🥰

have you ever been in love?

pairing: Christian Pulisic x Reader

TW: Mentions of alcohol // mentions of drinking excessively // accusations of cheating // if i missed anything pls lmk

A/N: it starts out super angsty, but it turns into fluff <3

You’d been dating your boyfriend, Daniel, for a few months. At the start, all was good and it was everything you’d ever wanted, but overtime, Daniel started to slip away, distancing himself from you while bringing himself back to his old habits of excessive drinking. This resulted in him coming home late on most nights, immediately starting an argument with you, which brings us to present time.

“Daniel I’m just worried about you” You tried to be civil and not shout at him, since he was drunk off his ass.

“You? Worried about me? Great joke, Y/n.” Daniel made his way around the kitchen to sit on the stool as you looked at him confused.

“If anything, I should be worried about you. I should be worried about you and Pulisic” Your jaw dropped at his implied accusation.

“What the hell are you on about? I’ve promised you that Christian and I are solely best friends, nothing more”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him. You’re so obviously in love with him. If you don’t want to be with me, just let me know and I’ll end this right now” Daniel said.

“You’re kidding, right? I’m not in love with him, Daniel. I wouldn’t do that”

“Stop lying! Just get the fuck out of my house! We’re done!” He shouted at you, causing tears to well in your eyes as you stood there for a moment. You tried to process what just happened. After gathering your thoughts, you left the room and grabbed your bag that was discarded by the stairs.

As soon as you shut the door to the house, you let all of your emotions out. The tears that were once welled in your eyes were now pouring down your face. You quickly wiped your tears and went to your car, locking yourself in and just letting everything out.

You may not have been happy in that relationship, but you would never cheat on anyone.

Silent sobs left your tear-stained face as you began to calm yourself down. You didn’t want to go back to your apartment, so you drove to the only other place you felt safe: into the arms of your best friend, Christian Pulisic.  

- 30 minutes later –

Your relationship with Christian has always been platonic, as you both grew up together, claiming each other as best friends since the day you met on the playground 19 years ago. You were both extremely shy at first, eventually becoming outgoing as you got comfortable with one another. 

He’s always called you “princess” instead of your actual name, because you demanded to be referred to as “Princess Y/n” when you were younger. The nickname stuck because he always said that you were stuck with him.

When you told him about you & Daniel, he wasn’t too happy, but he was able to push his personal problems with the boy aside just so you could be happy.

That’s all he ever wanted; for you to be happy. He genuinely enjoyed seeing you happy.

You showed up at Christian’s house unannounced. Your eyes were red and puffy from all of the crying you’d done on the way here.

You walked to the front door, knocking lightly as you awaited an answer. Less than a minute later, Christian opened the door and his face grew into a smile at the sight of you. That was until he caught sight of your puffy eyes & tear-stained face.

Without a single word, he pulled you into his house, immediately engulfing you in a hug.

“What happened, princess?” He carefully guided you through his house and to the living room,  seating you both on the couch.

You could barely make it through a sentence without stuttering due to the sobs leaving your body.

“Daniel b-broke up with m-me” you gasped as you tried to explain what happened. You felt Christian tense, but he stayed as calm as possible for your own sake.

“Did he say why?” You felt him softly scratching your head as you shivered against him.

“B-because he thought I was in love with you” The scratching at your head suddenly stopped as you felt him tense. You pulled away from him to see his face.

 “Did you explain to him that we aren’t doing anything?” He asked as you nodded your head.

“I tried, but he didn’t care. He told me to get the fuck out, and now I’m here” He immediately pulled you back into his arms, holding you tight.

“He didn’t deserve you, Y/n. You’re the most amazing and beautiful person I know. You deserved so much better than him” He reassured you. After a few more moments of this, you both let go of each other.

 “You can stay here for as long as you need. I don’t mind your company at all” You smiled at his offer and mumbled a quiet “thank you”.

You fell asleep on the couch and Christian didn’t want to wake you, so he slowly carried you to the spare bedroom, where he covered you with blankets before lightly kissing your forehead.

- the next day -

You woke up to the smell of bacon, so you went to the kitchen to see a shirtless Christian preparing breakfast for the both of you. You immediately got an odd feeling in your stomach as you looked at the boy in front of you.

“Whatcha making, Chris?” You smiled as you made your way to the counter. He immediately turned to look at you.

“Just some bacon for the princess” He smiled as he set the sizzling bacon on the table.

You both sat down and began eating your breakfast. At one point you caught Christian staring at you while you devoured your bacon like a maniac, the eye contact immediately sending the both of you into a fit of laughs.

Within that moment, that same strange feeling from before came back to your stomach, but this time you didn’t ignore it. Were you really in love with your best friend, and it took you until now to realize your feelings?

- days later -

You and Christian spent the next few days doing random activities since he had a week off. Though you were still heartbroken that your now ex-boyfriend dumped you only the night before, you were starting to feel a bit better. Christian tried his hardest to make you feel better, though he could only do so much.

It was now Thursday night, and it ended with the two of you on the couch, your head resting on Christian’s shoulder as you both watch some random movie.

“Chris can I ask you a question?” You asked as he hummed.

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” Christian tensed.

“Well uhm, you can’t stop thinking about them, you feel strange around them. Why’d you ask?”

“Have you ever been inlove?”

“I’ve been inlove with the same person for years”

“And you didn’t think to tell me this? Chris we’re best friends!” You playfully punched his shoulder, though part of you was let down that it wasn’t you. He let out a sigh.

“How could I have told you, princess, when you’re the person I’ve been in love with for years?” Your head jolted up at this.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. I know you just got out of a relationship and you’re extremely vulnerable right now, but these past few days with you have been amazing. I’ve been in love with you since we were 16, and I never thought I’d have a chance since we were so close, so I harbored my feelings for so long, but I can’t do it anymore” Your mouth fell open as he spoke.

“I know it’s probably way too soon for you, but I really want to give us a try, if you’re up for it of course” You smiled at his words, immediately bringing him into your embrace.

“I don’t think I’m quite ready yet, but I would love to give us a shot. I’ve been having butterflies in my stomach whenever you’ve been around me these past few days. I’ve never felt like this before, Chris” At this point, both of you were blushing.

 “I hope you know you’re stuck with me forever, princess” He kissed your temple as he spoke.

“No one else I’d rather be stuck with than you”

writing fluff reminds me just how single i am🥲

#✎ natalie writes #christian pulisic #christian pulisic fanfic #christian pulisic x y/n #christian pulisic imagine #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic x you #christian pulisic fluff #christian pulisic angst

[fsfghgee]

I think that in an AU maybe their father/Grandmaster was actually harsh on Bi-Han because he's the first born and the moment Kuai Liang came he only shows care to him. When Tomas is now part of it, he became another favorite.

Bi-Han would have felt horrible and angry at his father for such emotional switch up.

Maybe later Tomas tries to comfort his older brother and seek friendship. Emotional things bad or good can happen and both had the sex.

For Bi han it was a relief and freedom, for Tomas it was everything. Then quick bi han harshly rejects Tomas and leaves, leaving Tomas with a broken heart!

Bi Han being too angry again when someone tries to flirt with Tomas.

Bi Han needs help at this point!

HOT SPRING

Bi-Han x Tomas

- You will make the Lin Kuei stronger than ever. I have faith in you.

After another day of hard training under his father's command, Bi-Han leaned on the memories of his dear mother combing his hair, whispering words of comfort, strengthening their resolve...

- What if I don't make it, mother? A-And if they…

- No one is better than a Lin Kuei. - His mother's sweet voice intoned, but Bi-Han knew well that she wasn't angry.

He relaxes even more when he feels the pressure of his mother's soft lips on the back of his head, closing his eyes to enjoy the affection. There was no better place in the world to go back to his old self than protected, wrapped and caressed by the matriarch's arms.

- You will bring glory to our clan and make them proud to have you as their leader, in the same way I am proud to have you as my son.

- Mother…

No. He couldn't fall apart...

He would not fail the Lin Kuei...

He wouldn't let her down now...

She had taught him to be strong and withstand all the trials imposed by his father. All the hours of studying, all the hard training…

Missions that challenged the limits of his body and mind, all to make him, the heir to the clan, a perfect Grandmaster.

- You remain unworthy.

“I will show you.”

________

- I love winter!

- Shouldn't you wear warmer clothes? - Looking Tomas up and down, he was worried about the youngest wearing the summer uniform as if the extreme low temperature and snow that surrounded them didn't affect him at all. - How can you not feel cold when you are just a…

Swallowing the words before they all came out, Kuai Liang looked away. He didn't want to offend his younger brother or put him down like Bi-Han often did.

- You forget that I grew up hunting in temperatures even colder than this, Kuai Liang. - With his back to his brother from another mother, he leaned down just to make a snowball. - The cold has never affected me negatively. On the contrary, just fuels my combat 'till these days.

- Oh, no... - Kuai Liang was indignant when he was caught off guard by Tomas' quick movement, wiping the remaining snow from his hair and face. - You won't get away with this!

Tomas laughed as he ran away from the other, stopping a few times to quickly create other snowballs and counterattack.

- There's no point in hiding! - The pryomancer went deeper into the forest, looking for the typhomancer who had run inside first. Tomas hadn't specialized in Typhomancy for nothing, since his first trainings he had left masters impressed with his natural talent for stealth. - I'll find you...

- Tomas.

- Too slow. - He laughed, imagining how angry the pryomancer would be at being hit with yet another snowball, but his smile soon faded when he saw who he had hit. - Bi-Han? -The growl and deadly glare directed at him caused a shiver of fear to run through his insides. - S-Sorry. I'm so sorry! I thought you were...

- Still wasting my brother's time with your stupid jokes?! - Before he could get any closer, Bi-Han pushed him away with a gust of icy wind. - Let him know that father wants to see him. I'll be back in a few days.

- W-Where are you going?

- Do what some of us were born to do. Something you will never be able to understand. - He stated snobbishly, looking him up and down. - Hunting dog.

________

  “Bi-Han!”

“Help me, son!”

“Bi-Han!”

- It's better this way. - Bi-Han immersed himself in the thermal water, letting the heat undo the knots in his back, ease the tension in his muscles, caress his skin and comfort him in the midst of his disturbing thoughts.

He did what had to be done.

The Lin Kuei would always fight for him, his most loyal followers would always watch his back and his brother would always be by his side.

The future would be perfect.

- I must train harder. - Tomas muttered to himself as he undressed. Having been defeated once again by Cyrax, he wondered why his older brother refused to help him with his training. - If Bi-Han wasn't so selfish, he would… - He had already taken off all his clothes, leaving his skin exposed to the heat of the place, when the sight of another person in the fountain frightened him, causing his muscles to tense up again. - Bi-Han?

Only family members of the Grandmaster had access to that place. And Kuai Liang had just left when he said goodbye on the way to the hot spring.

- Keep silent or get out of here.

- R-Really? You don't mind that I... - Noticing the older man's increasingly hard gaze, he fell silent and took a deep breath to calm down.

A calm that was short-lived, anxiety growing as he became more lost in thought as he observed the older man's relaxed features.

He was so different that way…

Almost vulnerable.

Tomas had promised himself to protect his new family.

He swore a public oath to the Lin Kuei, but the oath in his heart and mind that day was different.

A personal, silent and secret vote.

Even if unrequited, he would be faithful to that vow until his last breath.

#bi han #bi han sub zero #tomas vrbada #smoke mk #mortal kombat #bitomas #bitomasweek2023 #bihan #subzero mk #bihan x tomas #mk tomas vrbada #subsmoke

[anika-ann]

EHHH THERE'S AN ASK GAME GOING ON? Hi Anika <3 (you probably know which pair i'm going to ask but Imma ask anywayy >:D C - Crying// U - Underwear // Z - Zones = for my beloved couple Attached Professor!Rogers and Reader <333

Oh Jam! I have no idea which pairing you were going to choose! (affectionate, so so affectionate 💕 can't believe you still love them🥺)

I also see you woke up today and chose violence. Professor Rogers approves.

Alright. Here goes. Answers to this ask game under cut (cause year, sorry, 18+ , very)

C - Crying (is it a turn on? a turn off? do they cry during sex? have they cried during sex? what was the reason?)

Our dear prof loves having fun with you, loves to tease and edge you, all smirks and smugness, but crying is a no-no for him. He had seen your tears before and they are associated with so much pain, yours and his, that making you cry is simply not on him mind.

The stupid poem slander after you started dating. Your father's harsh judgement. His own struggles after getting shot and telling you to just lose the ring if that was what you wanted. Just no.

He had taken the edging too far once, actually making you cry as you begged him and the way his body physically recoiled at the pain in his gut, the absolute dread and despise he felt was everything but a turn-on. He was the sweetest afterwards, a profoundly loving aftercare, even as you hadn't used your safeword and he most certainyl did not judge you; however he did cackle a little when you felt better about half an hour later and shyly asked him if he could finish what he started and get you off. He very much did.

He got extremely cautious after that; a blessing and curse, because he became the king of edging. He knows exactly how far he can push, he absolutely revels in hearing you beg and mewl sweetly; and to his shock, he found out he very much does enjoy the tears if they come after, just a few of them rolling out at how intense the release gets, how sweetly the relief tastes. He needs to be cautious to use his mouth or hands or toys to do that; if he was inside he, he'd lose it at the sight alone🤭✨

As for if he ever cried, it was once. After the incident with the ring and your reconcilliation, it hit him a few days after, when you made love again - that he really almost pushed you over the edge and lost you. He comes and the emotions just crush him; you hold him through it, tajen aback, but as gentle as you know he would be to you, your heart quiverring as much as his lips do for a few moments.

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?)

Steve is a simple guy; you kiss him, a little deeper than usual, and he knows what you want and he's happy to hop on that train of thought. You rake your nails over his thighs - it doesn't even have to be the insight of his thighs - and he's getting putty in your hands. Expect for one part that's growing very hard. Speaking of hard parts, there isn't any more direct message than brshing your fingers right there, right? He is not immune.

He is even less immune when you climb up his lap and kiss his just about anywhere.

One zone that surprised you and actually took you a rather long time to figure out was his forearms. You genuinely didn't realize - it is most definitely a turn on for you when he rolls up his sleeves and shows off his hands and forearms and you just like running your fingers over it. You know he knows that a peek of his forearms, especially when framed by those sleeves, drives you wild, but what you didn't realize was that it was invitation for you to touch him and drive him just as crazy.

Once you know, you take advantage, alright 😌

U - Underwear (what kind of underwear do they put on in the morning, if any at all… do they own any sexy underwear or lingerie?)

Well you can be sure he has a thing for stockings and he doesn't scoff at other lingerie either.; but taht doesn't mean he cannot appreciate simple. Just because you look extremely tempting to him in lingerie, it doesn't mean he's mainyl interested in what's under 😏

As for his own underwear, he's simple guy. Boxers, usually in plain colour, no crazy patterns except for three pairs of Christmas ones you bought him. He can simp, alright; it just made you so happy and you bought matching pairs of panties and it made him smile whenever he saw it on you. And you'd better believe he loves to match, tying yourself to you, even if you two are the only ones to know.

He had lost a silly bet to you once, resulting him having to wear the stupidiest most ridiculous pair of boxers on a day when he went to the gym and had to change in front of a few guys he knew. He was not amused (he was, a little, but don't tell anyone) - he however enjoyed taking his revenge.

What revenge, you ask? Well. If he's going in stupid boxers, than you're going commando to a dinenr with him with a skirt that barely reached just above your knees after he had played with you, teased you and left you soaking and unsatisfied. You could tell he was extremely cautious to make sure you considered it risqué but agreed to do it for the adventure though, because he's a little shit, but not a dick, definitely not to you.

He teased you all night too, even if with less direct touches; he was dlighted to see you still soaking once you got home, all happy to check for that with your back pressed to the door the second they closed behind. Check with his fingers and mouth. He cleaned every. Damn. Drop. And of course, rewarded you for being so so good for him🫠🫠

Hope you're happy with the answers, dear 🥰 Thank you so much for participating💕

#asks #reply #LEMONS #lemony LEMONY lemons #professor steve rogers x reader #attached #attached vibes #anika replies #steve rogers x reader #professor au #college au #modern au

[show-stoppin-enby]

I watched Nimona the other day and absolutely loved it!!!!!! The story was so incredibly touching, I will freely admit that I cried at The Hand Bit. It was a joy to watch the characters develop, the art style was AMAZING, I just loved it so so much!!!!

The only possible fault I could find is the rather obvious character naming. “Hmm, how do I establish that this dude is The (Conventional) Chosen One, descended from a member of royalty that is worshipped to the point of divinity? I know, I’ll call him Ambrosius Goldenloin!” Its like if your protagonist, who everyone hated for being the first dark-skinned non-noble knight, was given the last name Blackheart- oh wait! I’m sorry, but I cannot take a character called Ambrosius Goldenloin 100% seriously. I say this, but I want to clarify that it didn’t impact my enjoyment of the movie at all.

However, it was extremely refreshing to see a Chosen One that was neither the protagonist or a villain. Normally they are the Hero, or the well-meaning villain that fights to uphold the corrupt society that worships them. Ambrosius is, at his heart, kind. Even when he thinks that Ballister killed the Queen, when face to face with him after he escaped prison, his reaction isn’t “oh no! Dangerous Queen Killer is loose! I’m confused that my boyfriend is suddenly evil, so I’m channeling my emotions into sword-swinging rage!”. He is so clearly torn; he watched it happen right in front of him, and everyone around him that he trusts thinks that Ballister is a murderer, but he cannot bring himself to believe that Ballister could ever do such a thing. His face, in that moment, is anguish, confusion, betrayal, heartbreak - not rage. He wants to forgive him, so so much. Even later, when leaning into the “queer people Nimona is a monster who’s brainwashing you” rhetoric, he did so out of a place of such deep love and kindness that he was willing to go against The Director and the regime that he dedicated his whole life to in order to give his boyfriend another chance when no-one else would.

The character of Nimona herself? Perfect. Brilliant. Amazing. She can shapeshift and chooses not to look like a size 0 model, but a normal person with cool hair/ piercings and a grin that’s just a little bit too shark-like? Perfect. My little genderfluid chaos gremlin and I love her. On a more serious note, the LGBTQ+ themes conveyed through her character are so heart-achingly relatable; I don’t think I’ve ever felt this seen by a piece of media. I know it’s a bit of a cliche/ cringy thing to say, I’ve always thought so, but I GET IT NOW. When in response to terrified “what are you?”s, a simple “I’m Nimona” - you’re not entitled to an explanation of who I am. Ballister just saying “metal” with a smile, upon learning that she can breathe fire - someone accepts and loves you, unconditionally, finally. Sometimes enjoying when people see you as a monster, enjoying causing a bit of mischief and trouble, but also wanting to be seen as human. The main ideological difference between her and Ballister, especially: he wants to assimilate and be seen as a normal human, but she wants to destroy the society that created a “normal” that excludes and punishes her for something outside of her control - the argument between assimilate vs. keep queer spaces separate from cishet ones is one that has been debated for decades.

In the end, Ballister and Nimona swap roles: he realises the corrupt foundations of his society and wants to dismantle it, but she is done fighting; she’s tired, and hurt, and fought for CENTURIES, but gotten nowhere, and what’s the point of it all anyway, it’ll never work, it never does. She just wants to be seen as human. She spirals into a deep, deep pit of rage and anguish. What’s the worst that will happen, anyway? Everyone already sees her irredeemably as a monster. And when Ballister calms her, with just one hand and a few comforting words, she collapses. The fight is gone from her. She’s just a hurt, scared, tired little kid who desperately needs a hug.

The best villains (imho) are the ones who are relatable, who you can understand how they got to where they are, who scare you not through irredeemable acts, but through worries that in that situation, you would do the same - The Director is a prime example of this. Her ultimately fatal flaw is her fear of change; this is the way it is, and the way it has been for the past 1000 years, and it works perfectly well, so why change? Keep everything the way it is now, no matter the cost, and everything will keep running smoothly. She objects to Ballister ever becoming a knight, because it’s Not How Things Are Done. Change in tradition means unpredictability, it means things might go wrong. And if things go wrong? Well, you’ve heard the stories of what’s on the other side of the wall, we CAN’T risk things going wrong. She serves the system in rhe name of the ‘greater good’, and any price is worth paying, even the murder of the figurehead of the system itself. [tumblr mobile deleted the second half of this paragraph, and I’m too tired to rewrite it. It boils down to ‘at the end, she decides to fire the laser (and kill herself) rather than face the fact that she was wrong and deal with the consequences’]

This has become a whole analysis! Wow! I only wanted to make a snarky comment about the name Ambrosius Goldenloins, but here we are! Of course, this is not intended to be a full character breakdown, or even entirely comprehensible, I am currently not in the best of health and very tired and this is really just a drabble of admiration for a film that I very much enjoyed that got out of hand. I’m not very good at conclusions/ signing off or whatever, but I don’t want to ramble. I’m barely restraining myself from asking you to like the video, smash that subscribe button, and leave a comment telling me what you think.

Nimona is an awesome film. Watch it.

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #analysis #Nimona analysis #the director #character analysis #shit I should really go to bed now #I lost half of the director’s paragraph bc of mobile so I had to rewrite it #I want to fix the formatting but I don’t want to lose more of it so. I’m sure you can deal with a few dense paragraphs #nimona spoilers

[galaxywhump]

Please yell about Return of the Obra Dinn

OKAY

Obra Dinn is a 2018 mystery game, which for me was very much a case of "third time's a charm" because I gave up the first two times I tried to beat it. I finally finished it a few days ago and I'm so happy I did, and I've been thinking about it pretty much nonstop since.

It's super unique - you play as an insurance investigator sent to investigate the Obra Dinn, a ship that suddenly appeared with no-one on board. You have a pocket watch, which you use to travel back in time and view scenes from life on board, and a book in which you have to determine each of the 60 people on board's identity and fate. It's hard at times, but extremely satisfying to figure out.

The game's graphics are also fascinating:

(via the game's official site)

I'm gonna put yelling containing spoilers under a read more, but before that I think I'll share an idea I've had for a while now? Basically I love hanging out with people while playing games, and I thought I could make a Twitch account and link it here, and maybe play some games there. I'm curious if anyone would be interested 👀

Anyway, warning cause the game is pretty brutal.

I think my favorite thing the game does is that at the very beginning it doesn't reveal the full scope of what you're going to be dealing with. You go through the first few scenes and the deaths are pretty mundane, but then all of a sudden you jump into a different scene from a different scene and KRAKEN is just there. And sure, while determining the fates of the people in the first few scenes you might have noticed causes of death such as "torn apart" or "spiked", and "beast" is a possible culprit, but the Kraken scene makea you realize exactly what you're going to be dealing with.

I thought I wouldn't grow attached to the characters, because you mostly look at still scenes and only get some bits of dialogue, but boy was I wrong. There are moments when you witness the characters in normal circumstances, just living their lives on the Obra Dinn, you see what they do in their time off, who they hang out with, and that makes the more tragic fates so much more painful later on. I'm still emotional over a couple of characters in particular, like the three midshipmen.

Now some smaller things:

- a few characters can only be recognized by their footwear. Holy shit.

- the only Polish character was voiced by Piotr Adamczyk, a very popular Polish actor who's mostly known for playing in shitty rom-coms and also playing the Pope. I find it hilarious.

- took me until I started browsing the game's wiki to learn that one of the characters died on the toilet. Poor guy.

- you can choose the captain as the culprit in every single fate to get the achievement "the captain did it".

- even the reveal of how Obra Dinn, well, returned, was shocking - as was the reveal that the being responsible for it was still around.

- so many people disappeared in "THE DOOM" that it's become an inside joke between me and my sister. If there was a character I couldn't remember the fate of, they probably disappeared in "THE DOOM".

- the introduction of the "SOLDIERS OF THE SEA" chapter is incredible, and the chapter's track makes it even better.

I think that's it? Thanks for giving me the opportunity to yell :D I can't recommend the game enough.

#asks #❤️ #marti talks #return of the obra dinn

[princessbettina]

Superstar-Cody Rhodes x Fem!OC reader

Summary: It's my first day of my WWE tryout at the Performance Center. As I'm getting prepared mentally before my tryout, that is when my thoughts and emotions start to kick in.

Thankfully, The American Nightmare himself notices and helps me relax. As him and I talk, I realize who I'm talking to as I remember about my tiny crush on Cody. A cute friendship blossoms between us, as I hope for more in the relationship in the future. Tiny steps!

(Warnings: None-Fluffy! Kind of a short story!)

Today is the big day. The day where my pro wrestling career could potentially change my life.

I hope in a good way of course!

When it was time for my tryout, I packed my car with my wrestling bag with my gear, a water bottle and other important things I might need, and off to the Performance Center I went.

It was a pretty peaceful car ride there. The bright sun and blue sky was always a treat as I drove. It made me believe that my dreams were coming true even more.

As soon as I entered the parking lot of the Performance Center and took the steps out of my car and to the entrance of the famous building where many of my favorites I've idolized have been trained.

Quickly checking my phone as I got even closer to the doors, I noticed what time it was and softly gasped.

"I'm ten minutes early. Oh no!"

Realizing I probably couldn't go back to my car, I decide to be bold and just go in and wait inside. Nothing bad could happen by doing that.

Right?

Seconds after I entered the building, my eyes take notice of the busy and loud atmosphere of either actual wrestlers training in some of the squared circles around me, or of people talking amongst one another near me.

Not knowing who to talk to or what to do next, I stood by the doors as my heartbeat began to increase rapidly. My nerves were starting to act up and it wasn't the right time.

"Breathe, Sadie. Just breathe." I whispered to myself to hopefully relax my nerves.

A few minutes go by and more people trying out as well began to make their way into the Center which made ne start to relax a little bit.

Unbeknownst to me however, a certain famous, extremely popular, and incredibly handsome tall and blonde pro wrestler took notice of me and wanted to make sure that I was alright.

He could tell I was nervous.

I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. Causing me to flinch for a second as I quickly turn to the side to face who was reaching out to me.

"Hey, are you okay? Is this your first time here?" He asked in a soft tone.

I smile softly up at him and nod my head. Slight nervousness continues to glow right through me. I rest my hand on top of my neck briefly, as I look in front of me and noticed that it was getting more packed with people who were here for the tryouts too.

I nod my head in response to the man's question, "Oh yes, I think I'll be alright. And yes. This is my first time here. My tryout is scheduled for today in a little bit and I'm starting to feel the pressure." I spoke nervously about that fact as my heart anxiously danced in my chest.

The blonde famous pro wrestler nodded his head as he softly smiled at me. "Ohh I gotcha! Tryouts are always nerve wracking, I felt the same way with mine." He smiled more down at me as I started to feel calm after hearing his kind words.

"I felt the same with my tryouts a long time ago. I'm positive that you'll do awesome! You got this, future superstar! My name is Cody by the way." The young blonde pro wrestler kindly stated which made my smile increase.

Seconds later, my heart begins to beat, but not in a nervous way this time. Instead of nervousness, it's beats of love as my ears beamed with the sudden realization of who I was talking to and in the presence of.

It was the name that always made my heart beat a million times a minute just by hearing, followed by a blushy smile if I saw a photo of him or saw him on TV.

I was in the presence of my new favorite male wrestler and wrestler crush known as The American Nightmare himself, Cody Rhodes.

Trying to play it cool and less obvious of my little crush on him, I continued to smile at Cody. "That is such a huge relief! I am so glad that someone else here can relate to how I'm feeling."I stated as a sigh of relief escaped my lips.

"Thank you so much, Cody. You are too kind. It's such a huge honor to meet you. My name is Sadie." I thanked him for being so kind to me, a stranger, a fan of his who he's never met before until today. My smile only continued to grow from this point.

Cody also continued to smile back at me, which made my heart beam with pure happiness. "Of course, Sadie. It is a pleasure meeting you too." He winked down at me. His hand gently tapping and resting on top of my shoulder briefly.

Feeling his hand on my shoulder causes me to blush a little but I didn't want Cody to notice, I quickly bite the corner of my lip and giggle softly, as does Cody too.

"Say, if you aren't here for a tryout, then what brings the American Nightmare here today?" I asked as a soft giggle left my lips once more.

Cody smirked and glanced down at the floor momentarily and back at me. "Well, Hunter, known as Triple H and Shawn Michaels,-he's in charge of NXT and developmental, the two of them had invited me and a few other superstars to help out with everything here today." Cody said with a bright smile.

I nodded my head. Honestly, I didn't know that some of the famous wrestlers like Cody, would be at this event today, helping out.

That is really cool.

"That's fascinating! I think it's wonderful that current superstars like yourself get to be apart of historic events like this one, even if it is just a tryout." I said with beaming delight.

"Just think, one day you'll be one of the superstars helping out for a tryout for other aspiring pro wrestlers too." Cody chirped, grinning which caused me to giggle.

Suddenly, one of the assistant people in charge of the tryouts came up to me and politely introduced themselves to me briefly. "Hi, Sadie right? It's your turn for your tryout. Please follow me."

I nodded my head and quickly looked back at Cody with a smile again. He and I waved to each other, "I'll be waiting right here when you're finished to hear all about it. Please don't be shy to come and find me when you're finished. Go kick some ass, Superstar!" He winked at me while whispering softly to me.

I blush again a tiny bit and giggle like usual again. I placed my hand atop of my heart. Hearing how kind and welcoming Cody has been towards me makes my heart beam with all kinds of happiness and even making me fall for him a little bit more now.

I love that so much.

I turned my attention to the assistant who called for me to join the line of a few others who were trying out too alongside me.

I nodded my head and gave them a thumbs up before turning back to face Cody for a second briefly. "Thank you so much! I really appreciate that and you so much. I will most definitely come back and find you afterwards. I promise."

Cody smirked as he nodded his head at my response. I turn back around and follow the assistant to join the line and wait for my tryout to begin as Cody watches from the sidelines.

My tryouts were so great and I was really and very happy with how successful it all went and how I did. On my way back to the spot in the PC where Cody said he would look out for me afterwards, I was very out of breath and very thirsty... for water obviously!!

Cody and I spot each other and we both smile when I got to where he was. We greeted one another and he kindly handed me a water bottle, which I thank him for as I take it.

As I glanced up at him again, Cody smirked at me as he had a curious look on his face. That to me meant that he wanted to hear all about how my tryouts went and what I thought about it.

"Hey!! There she is! How do you think you did out there?"

"Everything out there went surprisingly really well. I am honestly really happy with how it went. I think I earned a spot for sure." I chirped with excitement and I winked at Cody.

"Oooh hell yes! That's my girl... I mean- that's my superstar!! That is the exact response I expected to hear! I am so beyond proud of you." Cody said high fiving me while smiling an even bigger smile at me.

Giving him a high five back, I flush after hearing what Cody said. Did he actually mean what he said when he called me "his girl"?

I really hope he meant it.

"Thank you so much, Cody. You are too kind. I truly appreciate you and your sweet words. Do you happen to know what happens next in the tryouts? Just curious." I asked curiously.

"Well, there are only one set of tryouts today and you completed it already. You should receive an email or phone call from Hunter within the next couple of weeks." Cody stated as I nodded.

"For me however, there's still a lot of people here who have to tryout, which means I have to continue helping out and make sure that everything goes smoothly here." He concluded, nodding his head as he grinned at me.

Smiling more after hearing what Cody explained, I thought it was so sweet of him helping out with an event such as this. "That sounds so fun. You're an excellent teacher to have and to learn from." I chirped as he placed his hand on top of his heart.

"Thank you so much, Sadie. You're truly one of a kind." Cody replied as the smile on his face kept growing.

My smile never left my face either. I then looked around the room and saw how packed it was getting with people who were trying out throughout the day.

I didn't want this to be the end of getting to talk more to Cody, but he's a busy man who has things to do around here.

"I think this is where we part ways now. It's getting pretty busy in here now and I'm sure Triple H or Shawn will be calling you for assistance soon. It was very nice and such a huge honor to meet, Cody." I said as I glanced down at the ground, not ready to say goodbye to one of my favorite wrestlers.

Somehow Cody noticed my emotions quickly change. He rose an eyebrow playfully before gently resting his hand on my shoulder, causing me to look up at him again.

"Aww, you are too cute and the sweetest person that I've met all day, my superstar. Even if I do get pulled to the side to help out, I'm sure I'll still remember and think of you."

My ears beamed with happiness as my heart beat more and more as I listened to what Cody was telling me.

"I am more than sure it would be okay if you hung out here, help me out around here. Say, would you like to go get milkshakes with me? My treat! Yeah I haven't had sugar in months, but milkshakes sound delicious right now. I was thinking perhaps we could get to know each other some more while we're at it? " Cody asked curiously as he smiled at me.

Was this a dream? Please some one pinch me or wake me up if it is...

I agreed to join Cody to get a milkshake with him. I'd be a fool to pass that up. "Yes, please. Count me in. I'd love to get a milkshake with you, Cody. I know we just met, but it feels like we've known one another much longer."

Maybe it was where I was standing or something, but every time I spoke was when I could see Cody blush, even if it was a tiny bit I still noticed.

"I must admit the things coming out of your mouth are so cute, and are making me feel a certain way haha. That is wonderful. I know a place that serves milkshakes and it's just a few minutes from here. We could walk there or I could give you a piggy back ride there, you know since your muscles still might be sore from the tryout and all." Said Cody as he sent a wink my way again.

I widened my eyes from excitement as the blush upon my face came back. "Why thank you so much. A piggy back ride sounds fabulous. How did you get to be so sweet?"

Cody's smile grew bigger as did the blush on his face which warmed my heart. He quickly turned around, his back facing me which allowed me to hop onto his back for the piggy back ride. "I don't think my face has ever been this red before haha. Enjoy the ride, superstar!"

The piggy back ride was a blast and before I knew it, we had made it to the restaurant that had seats and tables for outdoor eating, along with an indoor setting too. Cody stepped to the side as he carefully let me off his back, before smiling brightly at me.

"Looks like we're here. Would you like to take a seat out here? Or is indoor eating more of your thing?"

I glanced at the restaurant and thought it was really cool and looked yummy. "Oooh this place looks like a cool joint. I enjoy both, dinning in or outside. Would it be alright if we stayed indoors? If that's okay with you?" I asked as a nervous grin appeared on my face.

My nervousness was replaced immediately with Cody's warmness of his giggles that echoed through my ears.

"Of course. Anything for my superstar! That is totally okay." Said Cody, winking down at me, causing me to smile more and blush again. We then walked to the doors of the restaurant. Cody held the door open for me and we entered.

A few minutes later and Cody and I had decided on getting actual food alongside with the milkshakes. "I'm not sure how hungry you are but if you want to get food with the milkshake then I'd be totally down for that. Or if you just want a milkshake that would be okay too. I'm a flexible guy... both in and out of the ring haha."

Giggles kept escaping my mouth while I nodded my head. We decided on getting an actual meal, cheese burgers, alongside a milkshake because by that time, it was lunch time and our appetites became more and more hungry.

A few minutes later and our food was ready for us. Grabbing a seat at a table for the two of us, Cody smiled at me as he sat across from me at our table.

"So, what does my superstar have planned for the rest of the day?"

A silly smile was painted on my face after hearing what he asked. "Firstly, I wanted to mention how cute that 'Superstar ' nickname you have for me is..." I stated with that same blushy grin on my face.

Cody grinned as he chuckled while taking a sip of his milkshake. "I'm glad you like it. The nickname's perfect for you. It suits you as you are the cutest superstar I've ever laid my eyes on haha."

Blushing like crazy, I giggled softly as I placed my hand atop of my heart. I couldn't believe my ears. Cody thought I was cute.

"Ugh stop it, Cody! You are such a charmer." I chirped with a giggle as I playfully tapped his hand.

My hand was still resting atop of Cody's arm when he then gently took hold of my hand and smiled a blushy smile at me, causing my heart to flutter.

"See what I mean, Superstar? You truly are the cutest that I have ever seen and I mean that one hundred percent." Cody winked at me before taking my hand in his still when he planted a kiss atop of my knuckle / hand.

At this point, my face is as red as a tomato and I love every last moment of it. My heart could not stop beating. I took a deep breath and giggled softly to calm my romantic nerves.

"That was so cute! As for today goes, I was thinking maybe the two of us could continue to spend time together, see where this goes for the both of us, if you know what I mean and if that's okay with you, Cody?" I asked but slightly stuttering out my response, embarrassed by my question, hoping Cody wouldn't mind.

"It would be my honor, my superstar! I actually was going to ask you the same thing. You beat me to it haha." Cody replied, playfully pointing his finger in my direction.

With that very same soothing chuckle that calmed your nerves once before today. My heart danced inside my chest. I couldn't stop smiling and blushing.

I couldnt believe that it was all happening for me.

I knew at this point that you weren't dreaming anymore, and that is exactly how I liked it.

-The end

Hi everyone! I hope you all enjoyed reading my very first Cody Rhodes fanfic story. As always, I had a blast writing it. I could not have wrote this without the help of / from my beautiful and extremely talented best friend (You know who you are <3 <3)

All story credit and help goes to my bestie!! Thank you so much for helping me create this cute story. I am becoming more and more a big fan of The American Nightmare to the point where I'm crushing on him haha- Cody is my second current crush as Thomas Doherty is my first current crush and will always be! <3 I love them both so so much!! I hope you all enjoyed the story and you can definitely see more Cody fanfics from me in the future. (Sadie in this story is me! She is my character that I created for this story and she is my actual wrestling character name for when I become a pro wrestler one day! :)Yes that is an actual dream I have and have had all my life pretty much )

And to my Thomas friends, don't worry! My fanfic stories of him and his characters, and my Sebastian Legacies series will be continued and uploaded really really soon, I promise!!! Thank you for being patient with me and I will see you in the next one. <3

#fanfiction #wwe #cody rhodes #cody rhodes fanfiction #oc fanfiction

[traumadumpwriter]

Heavy trigger warning! This story includes heavy themes of ab*se, r*pe, self h*rm, mental illness and violence.

Check out every part by going on the tag Freedom on my page cx

Freedom: A John Shelby mini fic

Chapter Two: 3303 words

A few days later and Alice was discharged; most of her injuries being minor and easily healed by a little care and nutrition. Once Alice was finally left alone, she crumbled onto the wooden floor and cried harder than she ever had before. Ada hadn't wanted to leave her alone, extremely worried for her welfare. She'd overheard the nurses discussing the injuries, how many there were and what seemingly caused them. Alice had yet to offer any kind of explanation, meaning her and Polly could only make assumptions.

Polly had moved around the furniture in what was apparently a filing office, making a temporary sleeping space; a sofa, some blankets and a cabinet for a nightstand. Despite the room being small and bland, Alice was grateful to have it, shuddering at the thought of being inside that cramped caravan again. She was grateful to be alive too and that Polly had saved some of her Mother's mementos for her, treating the girl with nothing but kindness from the moment they reunited.

However, she also remembered Polly being there when the men took her away and knew that she'd given her mother the idea. That was something that she could not forgive the woman for.

An intense mix of emotions overtook her mind and body; fear, rage, freedom, grief, relief, restlessness, sickness, despair. She darted over to the cabinet and rummaged through the drawers for something sharp, desperate for any feeling of control. Quickly, she found a letter opener and immediately brought it to her thigh, slashing at the already scarred skin.

Even after all the years of physical pain at the hands of others - something she obviously didn't enjoy - pain from her own hands still gave her a sense of comfort.

She hadn't been able to truly hurt herself in a long time, that was reserved only for her husband and whoever he saw fit. He even took extra measures to make sure she couldn't purposely harm herself, practically baby proofing the caravan. It took away the last sense of control she had.

Now though, looking down at her bloody thighs, she felt a huge head rush, her body filling with relief and relaxing slightly. She didn't realise how much she was shaking until she looked down at her hands, dropping the letter opener as she focused on the blood.

A couple moments passed before she grabbed her already stained dress and started to wipe up the blood. Ada had left a pile of her clothes in the corner, another thing Alice was immensely grateful for. As she got changed, she thought about how much she'd actually missed Ada.. and how lucky she was that her defiant brothers happened to be the ones in the automobile that night.

It took her a while to get to sleep, her body nauseous and her brain overloaded, but when she did finally get to sleep she found herself having a dream - something that hadn't happened in a long time - and the starring role was taken by none other than John Shelby.

Meanwhile, he too had been dealing with unwanted emotions, finding his mind drifting on an hourly basis. As soon as he got the chance, he interrogated Ada for the details from the hospital, his gut clenching as each injury sounded worse than the last.

But still, he struggled to picture the Alice that he knew growing up taking a beating from anyone - let alone to that degree.

"And you're sure that a man done all this stuff to her?" He asked, struggling to hide his anger.

"I mean she didn't say. I don't know for sure but it certainly looks like it." Ada answered, her tone also bitter. She saw the rage bubbling behind his eyes and quickly added "But don't do anything brash, please. She really doesn't need that right now."

John knew his sister was right, shooting her a small nod before heading to his room. As he passed the door of the filing office, he fought the urge to push the door open and ask the girl inside a million questions. Instead he carried on going down the hall and keeping the questions inside his head.

——————

The next morning, John was surprised to see Alice and Ada sat up at the kitchen table eating breakfast and happily chatting. The smile on her face was authentic, her eyes and cheeks glowing despite the bruises.

"You're looking better." He awkwardly chuckled in her direction, wandering through the kitchen.

Instantly upon hearing his voice, Alice thought about the dream she'd had and suddenly felt much more interest in John than she ever had before. When they were kids, she never saw him as anything other than a friend, but now seeing him as the handsome man he'd become, something changed.

"Thanks." She awkwardly chuckled back, locking eyes for just a moment before returning to her food. Her stomach was growling quite ferociously, not having had free reign over how much she ate for a long time. Every piece of bacon felt like heaven.

"Any reason why you're awake so early?" Ada looked up from her newspaper and sent John a playful glare.

He shot her a quick glare back before coughing and sitting down opposite the girls. Alice's eyes flicked back to him, partially cautious but more curious than anything.

"Fueling myself before a hard days work. Something you women wouldn't know about." He smirked, earning a scoff from his sister whilst Alice stayed silent.

"Alice Shepherd quiet before a sexist remark? She really has changed." He thought to himself, piling food onto his plate.

In truth, he didn't know why he was down there so early. The night had been relatively sleepless, his mind ravaged by war memories and now questions about Alice, so when he heard their voices downstairs it just felt right to join them.

And now, he could feel Alice's eyes on him and for the first time since their reunion he felt intimidated by her. Somehow her silence felt more judgmental than any comment or insult she'd ever made, her powerful aura clearly remaining intact. He couldn't let himself go weak and lose her again, he had to at least try this time.

So despite the nerves building up in his gut, he gazed back at the brunette with a smile, ready to ask her if she was free that evening. I But just as he opened his mouth, Tommy strolled into the room and he felt all the words leave him.

—————

They didn't speak much again for the next couple of days, John being very busy and Alice generally being with Ada or cooped up in recovery by herself when her friend was busy.

She'd struggled slightly to adjust to everything; her freedom, the slight opium withdrawal, the way things were now so different from the war, her mother and brothers passing, the trauma from her abuse. Every night, she'd cut her thighs, cry her heart out and then sleep like a log, completely exhausted despite not really doing much with her day.

The sleep felt really good too, not having to be alert and ready to wake up at any moment was something she'd dearly missed.

So as she sat down in front of the filing cabinet and reached in to find the letter opener that night, she was shocked to see that it wasn't there.

Suddenly, she felt frantic, searching around the room for it or anything else that could suffice but nothing appeared.

"Someone must have taken it." She thought to herself, quickly becoming more agitated by the second. She'd finally gotten back her favourite form of control and she needed it instantaneously.

The house had been empty for the last couple hours besides John and a light bulb instantly went off in her head.

"He must've used it and forgot to put it back. I'll just go get it from him now, it's not that late." She thought manically.

Wide eyed, she paced down the hallway and knocked on his door, hearing a cough and a sigh from inside before John's voice murmured "Come in." Once she did, their eyes immediately locked and it made her stomach flip, suddenly feeling the ridiculousness of her question.

"You alright?" He asked, staring at her intensely.

"Y-yeah... I was just gonna ask do you have a letter opener?" She stammered awkwardly, her eyes darting between his and the floor.

A small tut came from his lips and he looked to the ground for a second before pulling something out of his pocket. When he opened his palm, Alice saw the letter opener from the filing cabinet and instantly reached out to grab it, but he quickly closed his fist and scoffed.

"Why do you want it, Alice?" He pursed his lips as he spoke bluntly "And don't lie to me, I'm not gonna fall for it, I ain't a kid no more."

It's not like her self harm was ever much of a secret, but now that they were adults and their bond had faded, she felt ashamed and embarrassed.

"Why do you care, John?"

He on the other hand, felt guilty and upset and even slightly angry, standing up from his position on the bed and running his fingers through his hair.

"Why wouldn't I?" He turned to her with a sigh, stepping closer. "I've known you my whole life... and I've never understood you."

"No one understands and I don't expect them to ." Alice replied bluntly, becoming defensive as his words made her feel vulnerable. "Can I just have it please?"

John scoffed, feeling dumbfounded from just being in her presence, which made him annoyed.

"Are you fucking serious? Why are you cutting yourself up? It doesn't make any sense. You reappear out of nowhere with the shit kicked out of you and then you choose to add extra pain to yourself? Why would you do that?" His voice stayed low as he was relatively calm, but his frustration was clear through his tone.

Alice was shocked by how much the man actually seemed to care, not really knowing how to respond to him. Her mind flipped between listening to his words to how good he looked speaking them, causing a small smile to creep onto her lips.

"Now why are you smiling? Are you even more fucking nuts now? I'm being serious Alice." John's face was only straight for a minute before a smile started to form on his too, easily weakened by Alice's big, glossy eyes and delicate lips.

"I just think you're a good man, maybe that does make me nuts." She said quietly, creating a moment of silence afterwards as John soaked in the compliment.

"Anyway, I should probably leave you to it." She added, her mind darting to the knives in the kitchen.

Maybe it was the whiskey; John quickly put his hand on her shoulder before she could turn around and leave.

"Stay." He felt embarrassed but nonetheless made his request. "Let's catch up properly."

In his eyes, Alice saw a flicker of vulnerability that made her even more intrigued by the handsome man. The Shelby brothers never showed weakness. She'd realised just how powerful they'd become when walking around with Ada and imagined that it was rare for John to request the company of anyone, let alone so meekly.

"Okay." She smiled, stepping slowly towards him. Her mind wasn't even focused on the sharp objects anymore, instead focusing on the man in front of her and how he made her stomach feel twisted up in the good way she hadn't experienced in years. "So tell me, what have you been up to?"

It was clear that he was relieved by her answer, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot next to him with a relaxed grin. He reached over to his side, grabbing a box of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey as Alice sat beside him, leaning against the wall and crossing her legs.

"Where do I even start?" He huffed, taking a swig from the bottle before handing it to Alice. "Well Tommy runs the family now as I'm sure you've heard. I'm in the shop most days but every now and then he sends me or Arthur on these missions."

"Were you on a mission the night I stopped you?"Alice teased before taking a swig from the whiskey.

"Coming back from one actually. And I wasn't even meant to be on it, some prick fucked up last minute. Funny how life works out sometimes."

"What do you do on these missions Tommy gives you?"

"That is peaky blinder business and peaky blinder business only darling. Next question." He chuckled slightly, earning a giggle from her.

"Okay let me think..." She grinned. "Did anything interesting happen before you got into the business? Like what was going on in Small Heath just after I left? Did anyone ever end up scrapping Big Lee? That's the last bit of drama I remember!"

John scoffed and chuckled in amusement before thinking of his answer.

"Well it was just after you left that the war began weren't it, so I couldn't tell you what was happening in Small Heath then... lots of babies been born and lots of people have died. Big Lee's fucking dead, done in the Somme. I was a machine gunner in the Warwickshire Yeomanry, a bloody good one too, although I'm not sure what that says about me... Didn't get me anywhere anyway, still came home to this shit hole with nothing to show for all those years away."

As Alice watched him speak about the war, she could see him getting more withdrawn; his eyes looking distant and his body tensing up. She'd taken a few swigs from the bottle before she stopped his spiralling.

"I suppose I feel a similar kind of way." She interrupted, prompting him to shoot her a confused look.

"What? About killing hundreds of men?"

"No. Not about that. About spending years away, just to come back to this shit hole with nothing to show for it... It just feels like painfully wasted time."

A moment of silence passed between them, John lighting a cigarette and Alice taking another swig, savouring the relaxed feeling it gave her.

"Well, what did you spend all those years away doing? Maybe it wasn't a waste of time." He knew he was playing dumb slightly here, thinking of the injuries she'd arrived to them with and her general change of attitude. To him it was clear that she'd been through some kind of abuse, but he wanted to hear her admit it. Then maybe he could do something about it.

The brown haired girl sighed, looking down at her legs as she thought about the marks hidden by her clothing. The ones left by Jones made her feel unwell and tainted, but the ones left by herself made her feel a sick sense of comfort. She was sure that to the outside world they all looked the same.

Now her mind was focused on Jones though, what he did to her and how unwell it made her. Even now that she'd escaped him, she could feel his poison in her bloodstream, seemingly strengthened by her refusing to ever talk about him.

"Maybe talking will help." The girl thought.

A heavy sigh left her lips before she spoke.

"Well I didn't spend much time with my father, which I suppose was the original plan. He sold me to be married only a few weeks into my stay with him. Obviously his plan had been different all along and my mother stupidly fell for it. I sometimes wonder how much he was paid for me. It probably wasn't even that much; that stupid old bastard."

John took swigs of whiskey between the puffs on his cigarette but remained listening intently. His face straight and emotionless despite the fact that he was clinging onto every word, deeply curious for her truth. Alice's face also remained straight, dissociating while she recalled the traumatic events.

"And my husband.. he's the devil. Never met a man like him, if you can even call him that. There was never a break from it. I'd rather die than ever be in his hands again... he did such evil things to me, things I'm scared to say out loud." Her voice started to shake slightly and she pulled the bottle from John's hand, taking a big swig.

"Why are you scared to say it? No one can hurt you now, you're protected by us."

His words brought a small smile to her lips and she turned to him to make eye contact, instantly feeling her stomach flip as she did.

"Because... it would make you view me differently." She stammered, struggling to keep her cool composure. There was a lot more to it than that, a lot more deep, ugly feelings, but those words were all she could bare to admit.

"What? You think I'd judge you because your husband beat you up? I wouldn't judge no woman for that, that's on that bastard, not you!" He answered back with a level of enthusiasm that surprised her.

It became clear he really did care, but even that didn't give her the strength to say what had truly happened, in all it's gruesome detail.

"He didn't just beat me up. It was so much more than that." She stammered, shrinking under John's gaze. "It.. it was a lot more than that."

He could sense that she was beginning to shut down again, her body becoming rigid and her eyes holding that distant look. Clearly, talking about what had happened was too much for her and so in a split second decision, John leaned across the bed and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, her body instantly loosening as she sunk into it.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it." He whispered, also finding comfort in her hugging him back. He could see his struggles with trauma mirrored through her, as could she with him and for a moment, they both felt their brains stop shouting as they held each other.

—————

For the next couple hours, they spoke and drank; laughing at each other's jokes and reminiscing on their childhoods. After the hug, they made no more physical contact - much to the hidden dismay of both of them - instead staying a foot apart on the bed, passing the bottle or a lighter across it every few minutes.

John found himself completely captivated by the woman. By her wit and intelligence, the humour that would effortlessly fall from her mouth and how beautiful she looked as it fell. Despite the amount of time she spent suffering, her face had not aged as some soldiers did at war. Instead, she'd grown even more gorgeous, "perhaps because she's more mysterious than ever before" thought John, but he couldn't place it exactly.

Alice's mind also ran wild with thoughts of the man beside her. His tough exterior was easily crumbled, instead revealing that inside he was kind, emotionally intelligent and funny. Even with a considerable amount of liquor in his system, he remained charming and cool, two words she never thought she'd use to describe John Shelby.

"He was such a weird kid, always trailing behind me or his brothers. I never expected him to turn out like this." She thought to herself, becoming more impressed by his presence by the minute.

She could sense a deep sadness in him, maybe one that matched her own, and much like his curiosity for her, she decided that she wanted to sniff out that sadness and maybe help fix it. It was the least she could do after he kind of saved her.

#ab*se tw #abuse tw #arthur shelby #freedom #john shelby #john shelby imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder headcanon #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #romance #x reader #fanfic #r*pe tw #abuse cw #self h@rm #sh twt #sh tw #angst #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #ada shelby #polly grey #imagine #dark imagines #mini fic

[phoebehills]

taken aback by the sudden encounter, the actor felt his heart skip a beat. the irish lilt in his voice momentarily caught in his throat as he looked at his ex-girlfriend. the past few weeks had been a blur of airports, handshakes and too many smiles for cameras. this break was meant to be his respite, a chance to escape the noise, and there he was, face to face with a part of his past he thought was left behind. his hands instinctively found their way into his pockets, a familiar place when he didn't quite know what to do with them. he took a casual step to the side, making space between them, a physical manifestation of the emotional distance he often maintained. "yeah, it's grand here, isn't it? a proper piece of heaven," paul glanced down at the brochures in her hand and back to her face, trying to read her expression. "horse riding and eco tours sound like a crack. and the beach is... well, it's the beach, isn't it?" he chuckled softly, brushing a hand through his hair—a nervous habit. "i might give that tanning competition a run for its money, though i'm more likely to turn into a lobster than bronze up," he joked, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. phoebe's mention of burning sparked a memory, a day they had spent on a beach, her skin turning a delicate shade of pink despite the layers of sunscreen. he could almost hear her laughter, the sound of the waves... "listen," paul started off, interrupting his own reverie. "if you're up for it, maybe we could grab a drink later? catch up properly, like?" his eyes searched hers, looking for a sign of what she might be thinking. at first he asked her just to fill the silence without knowing what else to say but then he realized he genuinely wanted to know how she was, beyond the pleasantries. despite his usual reservations about delving into the past, the singer had been a significant part of his life. and now, unexpectedly thrown together in paradise, perhaps it was time to add a new chapter to their story—one that was less about what had been and more about what was yet to come.

Awkward. That's what Phoebe was feeling in this moment - although there was plenty for them to talk about - they were in Fiji, after all. She didn't quite know what to say. The art of dodging conversations was something she could be good at. The singer could of cut it short, told him there was something she had to go and do - tempted to spin on her heel and walk in the opposite direction, she restrained herself. Not only would that of been rude, but she was curious to as how long they could keep the art of talking, but not talking going. Her grip tightened on the brochures, and she gave a short nod. "Both sound good - haven't been horse riding in ages so I'd probably fall off. Dunno if I'm going to do that one." She bit her lower lip, looking beyond the man that was stood in front of her. "You can blame your Irish blood for the lobster effect. I don't have an excuse - I grew up in California." The singer said, crinkling her nose. Despite the fact of where she grew up being more sunny than not - Phoebe did have a bad habit of getting a little too much sun and turning various shades of red. The next question she was asked was extremely unexpected - her eyes went wide for a moment. Spending actual time with Paul - the man she once loved so deeply, just for it to all go wrong along the way some how - scared her. Even if Phoebe was completely over the relationship, it had taken time for her to get there. Their break up had caused her to write a lot of great songs, and along with writing, it gave her time to heal from it all. "What do we even have to catch up on?" She asked - not able to keep her tone friendly. Shoving the items she was carrying into her pockets, her arms folded in front of her, almost like a defence mechanism. "You've been working - booking a lot of roles, so congrats on that and you're dating Daisy now. I'm all caught up." Pushing back the anger that she felt building in her, the American knew she shouldn't be putting those emotions into the world - but the hurt that came from someone telling you not to worry about the friend, just for them to end up together did sting a little. Or a lot. "I won four grammys and now I'm taking a break from everything this year." The blonde said with a shrug of her shoulders, down playing how much the awards actually meant to her. "So now, you're all caught up." @mcscal

#stories; #paul; #/if tumblr would actually post things to the dash that'd be grand

[savofid]

So, just watched Dream's "The Truth" video and it got me thinking about my story with false allegations. I guess that's what a trigger is, huh? That it triggered me, but in a neutral way? Maybe leaning towards good? I dunno. I'm stoned and wanna vent. So, I guess warnings for some pretty intense shit like sa, a mention of miscarriage, some talk about psychiatric care, a mention of r*pe, and some emotional trauma? It's not gonna be a good time, but I'll feel better when I finish.

So, my older sister is complicated, in the way that realizing everything is made of math is complicated. It's a lot of jargon. She has a mutation of the MTHFR gene (?) that inhibits her body's ability to uptake and process Vitamin B12. As a result, she has a deficiency of Vitamin B12, and that can lead to a number of complications in one's life. She has a hard time bringing a child to term, having had multiple miscarriages before she was properly medicated and now has three daughters. It interferes with the body's ability to properly send certain chemical signals in the brain, leading to a number of psychiatric issues, often presenting as schizoeffective disorder. Her heart, at any time for no reason at all, can just sorta... Stop.

I could be mad at her for the things that she's done to people, but I can't. It's not even because she's my sister. I hate two of my sisters because they're horrible people, and I've never even met my oldest sister and don't plan to. Family don't mean shit to me. No, I can't hate her because it's not her fault. No one knew what was going on inside her body and she had to spend 3 years in an institution because of it. I can't imagine going through that.

However, using that as an excuse for her actions wouldn't be right. She still did them. She wasn't possessed by some demon. There was some part of her that wanted to do it. I know because I have anxiety and am a recovering alcoholic, both of which cause a ton of intrusive thoughts about things that part of me wants but the rest knows I shouldn't do, even if that part is extremely small and incredibly wrong, like hearing myself tell me to punch some guy in the face cause he "looked at me funny." He was facing the sun and squinting. What I'm saying is that there was SOME malice to her actions, some reason her delusions manifested as they did. It'll make more sense later.

During the summers, my birth mother had visitation rights for the entire summer, so we'd stay with her for three months. When I was 12, we were there and, one night, I heard my dad walk in. It's the middle of the summer and he's supposed to be across the state, back at our house. He and my older sister leave, and my birth mother won't talk about what's going on, and everything is incredibly confusing. I found out a few days later what happened.

My dad had gotten a phone call from the local police department asking for my older sister to appear before the police to give a witness statement. He asked why, and they said that she had accused his friend of having raped her.

My dad's friend, Ron, was a school bus driver, and had been arrested by the local police following the allegation that my older sister made that morning while at my birth mother's house. He had to sell his car to afford a decent lawyer, spent the night in jail, lost his job especially since my sister was a minor and he drives, ya know, a school bus. He almost had a divorce from his wife of 45 years. His grandson was my best friend.

On the drive across the state, my dad only said one thing to her: "When we get there, just tell them the truth." Mind you, my older sister is my dad's favorite. I didn't even know she was the favorite until 13 years after he died. He believed her. He didn't ask her any questions because he didn't want to influence her story in any way, make sure that it's as truthful and accurate as possible.

They finally get there, it's around midnight. My dad just drove six hours at the drop of a hat for his daughter. They take her to be interviewed, and she instantly admits that she lied. Her reason? She didn't feel like she was getting enough attention from my birth mother and didn't think it would get that bad. She stayed with my dad for the rest of the summer.

A year later, I'm at home, just having a regular day, and there's a knock at the door. My dad answers and it's... CYS? They say that my older sister, in a recent discussion with her caseworker, claimed that I was molesting her. They're here for an investigation into the allegations. First, they interview my older sister. I have to sit across the house and wait for it to be over. About an hour later, they have me come in to talk to them.

At this point, it's pretty late. My little sister is ready for bed and is going up the stairs to her bedroom, and we happen to be sitting on those stairs. Instead of going to bed, she sits down and does what she does best: make herself the center of attention. I'm telling this guy my side of the story, and she's there, making a cat dance in front of me. The investigator admitted to having ADHD ("Adult ADD" as he said it, so I assume, in today's terms, that would be ADHD diagnosed in adulthood), and was having a difficult time focusing on what I have to say. Meanwhile, the time he spent with my older sister was uninterrupted and quiet.

Following their investigation, I was given a choice: I could either stay with a friend that didn't have any sisters, or I could live in the local group home. I knew some of the kids at the group home and knew that I did not want to be there, so I picked the one friend I had that I knew didn't have any sisters, my best friend at the time. He's an only child and his parents adore me and treat me like their own kid already. And, of course, they let me stay as long as I needed to. "It'll only be a few weeks, " says CYS.

I'm there for 6 months. Meanwhile, we're still going to school together. She was in a different building than me, so, by the time I heard that she was telling people about it, it had gone from "inappropriate touching" to that I had raped her. My reputation was shot. Everyone fucking hated me. I was already getting bullied before, so imagine how it went when rumors like that started spreading. I'd be bullied to the point of tears and even the teachers heard the rumors, so they didn't do anything about it. It took me two years to undo the damage she did because, in the court of public opinion, an accusation is worse than any verdict.

Speaking of verdicts, you can imagine there were many riveting court sessions during the 6 months I was pulled from my home. Usually one every couple of weeks cause I'm literally on trial for molestation as a fucking 13 year old who has no idea what's going on and I literally just now realized, 19 years later, that that's what that was. Holy fucking shit. What. I feel like I'm short circuiting and now I feel really fucking bad. Why do I feel bad? Oh, cause I was so used to "going to court" being for like family shit that it never occurred to me that it could be for anything else. I... Don't know what to do with this information?

Okay, maybe it wasn't a possibly somewhat good trigger. I guess I did say that it's not gonna feel good, and the only person who's gonna read this is me, so I was warning myself. And potentially you, ever mysterious reader who has no reason to be here, if you even exist at all? Anyways, I'm gonna fight through the melting brain and try to get to my point here.

After those 6 months and the now realization of having been on trial, it was determined that my sister has schizoeffective disorder, resulting in delusions brought on by an inability to determine the difference between reality and fantasy at times. The doctors postulated that she likely dreamed that it happened and believed it to be real.

Now, the only people who didn't believe my sister were the ones who knew both her and me. Even my birth mother saw the holes in her story and, during the trial, said, "Well, I don't think she's telling the truth. She's twice his size and she knows it. Any time he's done something she doesn't like, she hits him or throws him. If he really did try that and she didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't've happened. She would've left him so busted up that I probably would've needed to take him to the hospital. She would've broken him in half."

My dad said a lot of the same thing, even commenting, "I think I only recall one instance in which his hand touched her chest. They were wrestling on his bed, and she jumped up from the floor. He put his hand out to try to stop her from crashing into him, and it landed right... Ya know, *there.* He immediately pulled his hand away, but she punched him in the face, threw him on the floor, and managed to kick him a few times in the back before I could pull her off of him. She didn't care that it was an accident. She would've killed him if he did it on purpose."

I don't mean this as a way to say that my older sister beat me or whatever. I left her with just as many bruises as she left me. We were kids. We fought. We played rough. We used to throw those unopened and resinous pinecones at each other for fun, like they were dodgeballs or grenades. We just beat the shit out of each other all the time, and it was always 2v1, my little sister and older sister vs me (the three kids my birth parents had together, me having a total of 8 siblings including prior marriages and one affair). At 12 years old, I was 4'8" tall and 60 lbs. I was tiny. She, at 14, was 5'5" and 120 lbs. Twice my weight, 9" taller, and a lot stronger than she looks. She used to throw me by one arm and one leg for fun. I was the one that asked her to do throw me.

Now, you'd think it ends there. She went to a mental hospital, I went home, and then successfully quashed all the rumors overnight when it was determined that I was innocent. Life ain't movies.

During my time with my best friend, he slowly revealed that he was attracted to me. I was not attracted to him for a multitude of reasons, not just cause he's a dude. I mean, I like some guys, just didn't know that yet. Anyways, he started doing some stuff like trying to get me to touch his genitals or just outright grabbing mine, or walking in on me while I'm in the shower... Multiple times per shower. And a lot of other things that I just don't wanna talk about right now even though I probably already have. I, me, the reader and writer, know what they are, so I don't really need to?

Whatever.

The dude was sexually assaulting me on a regular basis and then threatening to get me kicked out of his house if I tell anyone about it, or that he'll claim that I admitted to him that I did it, or whatever heinous thing he can think of. I had to share a bed with him for half of the time I stayed there.

On top of that, I've got people basically ready to execute me at school. The game of broken telephone turns "inappropriate touching" into "rape," and the only thing that keeps them from actually trying to kill me is the fistfight I get into with the guy I'm living with. People still talked and still treated me like shit, but it just became a game of trying to figure out how far is too far. They had full rein to try, too, cause, like I said, the teachers had heard the rumors, too, and some believed it.

I had to go to therapy every Wednesday at 1 PM. The therapist I had... Wasn't very good, to put it lightly. You know, the common thing in therapy, often regardless of your methodology, is to let the patient lead the session, right? You merely give them the push to get started, and then it's merely a dialogue that the patient is leading. What would happen with this guy is that I would sit down, there'd be a little bit of small talk, and then he'd ask, "So, tell me about an interesting dream you had this past week."

He was obsessed with my dreams. I dream in super high detail and can remember them very vividly, which he found fascinating, I guess. He said he found my dreams fascinating, but was never really clear about what aspect he seemed to enjoy, so I'm just assuming it was the vividness. Next, he would then try to analyze that dream, and was incredibly Freudian about it. I mean both literally and figuratively.

On one hand, it's that symbols and signs in dreams have objective, universal meanings completely devoid of one's specific culture, beliefs, or upbringing. Red means danger. Ignore the fact that they associate it with good luck in China.

On the other hand, he manages to project his own feelings onto someone else's situation by not only telling me that a dream about my little sister being scared of a snake, so I took a shovel and killed it, that that dream means I want to sleep with my little sister. Not only that, but he also then tries to tell me that it's okay to have thoughts like that.

No. No it is not okay to have thoughts like that. It's also especially not okay to tell children that it is okay to have thoughts like that. What the actual FUCK is wrong with you? "Well, the snake represents the phallus." No, the snake is a representation of general bad stuff due to the fact that my dad just finished writing a book with heavy Christian tones and it's about to get published, so I'm afraid that it being successful can cause problems within the family. "No, no. I'm the professional here. I know what I'm talking about, and it's okay to have those thoughts." No. It. Is. Not.

So, we've got the sexual abuse by my only remaining friend, becoming a pariah, having an absolute creep as a therapist... What else? Oh, right. The complete and crippling anxiety I feel that, at any time, someone can just ruin my life with a few simple words. The first three were temporary, but that one is permanent. Now, I know that most people don't do things like this on a regular basis. Most people's brains operate the way we think they're supposed to. Most people don't have a super particular condition only detectible with a genetic test specifically for that one thing, or a general malice for anyone they can victimize, or are incapable of remorse. Most people are just people, and the vast majority of people don't know I exist. However, there's still that constant hum of "But it could happen again. Can I deal with it again?"

This one's gonna sound, I dunno, like a pittance compared to that, but I'm genuinely still mad about it. I raised fish for 5 years. I had a 50 gallon, a 30 gallon, a 22 gallon, two 20 gallons, and two 10 gallon fish tanks. I did all the work to maintain them myself, only getting help from my dad in starting the siphon for the monthly water changes. I developed my own breed of Corydoras catfish at 11. I fucking loved my fish, and the collective weight of all those tanks literally cracked the foundation of the house. For five years, I took care of them, learned a ton, did all my research into aquascaping and what species prefer what qualities of water and temperature ranges and where in the water column they like to hang out and their temperament and any detail I could find about each species before I added it to a tank. I was obsessed and this might be one of those "*ding!* You're probably autistic" moments but I'd prefer a formal diagnosis before I'd feel comfortable saying that I am.

So, I was gone for 6 months. All the work I was doing with those fish was mine alone. I was the only person in the house who knew how to do it in the first place. Can you guess the state of 162 gallons of water and it's respective fish? If you said "green and dead," you'd be mostly correct! While I was away, my older sister decided to make... An addition to my 50 gallon tank. The local pet shop, where I got all of my fish and was a known regular, had had this pair of angelfish longer than I had lived there. They lived alone in the same tank right by the door. She convinced my dad to buy them.

Had I been present for that conversation, we never would've gotten them, because I had already done my research. The fish we typically think of when we hear angelfish is a variety of Cichlid, like Oscars and Tilapia. A thing about Cichlids is that many of them are incredibly aggressive to fish they don't recognize. As a result, unless they were raised in that tank alongside other fish, they only see their tank mates as competition or prey.

All this to say that I came home to a bunch of algae ridden tanks, disgusting filters, rotting plants, and two very fat angelfish. My bumblebee gobies are gone. My iridescent sharks are okay but the smaller one is gone. My Corydoras are gone. My various tetras and mollies, gone. My gouramis are gone. The few fish left are the aforementioned iridescent sharks that were big enough to pose a threat and my plecos. I wanted to kill those angelfish, but decided that we should just return them to the store cause they're not acting out of hate or anger. They're animals and acting on instincts. They can't control that. They're innocent.

The one thing I lost and can never regain is her as a sister. I don't hate her. I know she has her issues and, yeah, maybe she wanted to hurt me, but plenty of people wanna hurt me. Most people don't. I'm not gonna try to claim I know why she wanted to do that as much as I can about anyone else that has hurt me. Maybe she really did dream that it happened. I wanna hate her, but can't bring myself to do it, no matter how much I suffered as a result. However, I can't, in sound mind and good conscious, maintain contact with her. In the event that she tries to say anything like that ever again, I don't know if I could deal with it. I'd probably completely shatter and... I don't really wanna think about that. For the sake of my own sanity and the tiniest sliver of peace of mind, I just don't interact with her at all. I've seen her once in 17 years, and that was at another sister's wedding... Where she was sent to stay in a hotel after a day and a half due to her not even acknowledging the fact that her children were causing issues and stressing that sister out. Talked to her all of five minutes.

This is by no means me saying to not tell someone if something happens to you. Please do! Don't be like me and mentally fucked for life due to shit that happened to me at the hands of someone else. It's not your fault, don't believe them. However, the people who use an accusation as a weapon do a lot more damage than they think, even if the intent is to deal as much damage as possible to that person. You're not only hurting them, you're hurting the credibility of everyone who actually is a victim of molestation, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and rape. Five different people, two were blood relatives, two were people close to me, and one was just a guy in high school that spent weeks trying to pressure me into letting him suck my dick, even trying to force me to do it in exchange for giving me a ride to work after the SATs. Fuck you, Chris. No means no. Back on track, three were women, two were men. I'm not gonna say that my experience can be extrapolated out to the public at large, mostly cause I don't want to think that the average victim has gone through as much or more than I have because that just makes me wanna cry that so people can be so terrible to others. It's been a while since I had a good cry, though. What I am gonna say is that it's already so hard to be heard when you just want someone to believe you in what is likely the worst time of your life, and making everyone look like a cry for attention just makes it worse. My mom doesn't believe that my 3rd ex raped me. She says she doesn't even know who that is, and that's my mom. She's supposed to be in MY corner and couldn't care less. My roommate cared when I told him, though. One of three hugs he's ever initiated with me in the 11 years I've known him. I'm so thankful to have him. I'm probably gonna marry him someday, even if it's just for tax purposes... He'll still be my husband and you better believe I'm calling him that. Love that man to death.

When people say, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best," they haven't met me. He has learned more about emotions from me than he has from everyone else in his entire life combined. That's his own words. He's seen me at a variety of different edges, the highest highs, the lowest lows, bursting at the seams and completely devoid of anything. He's literally the reason I didn't off myself on two separate occasions, because I don't wanna leave him alone in this world. While he says he just wants to live away from everyone else, it's followed up with, "Except you. You can be there, too." He's been in more of my dreams than both my parents combined, and we've never stood in opposition to one another in any of them. We're always fighting together. We're just a pair of rocks.

I knew I'd feel better at the end. I fucking love my roommate. I might ask him for a hug when he wakes up.