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#<- that genuinely is me being dramatic bcs my POOR BODY
noxtivagus · 2 years
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IJUST WNA SLEEP N NOTNTHINK OF ANYTHINN😭
#🌙.rambles#i will focus on my assignments just so i can take my mind of my thoughts#n my poor stomach#im dying#i want to. write smth. or play. or read.#or sleep!!!! i'm gna fucking need that sleep#sm stuff due this week n it's not too hard for me nmn but i don't have energy oh god#i keep on getting distracted n i hate sleep n some part of my body hurts everyday wtf#i feel old . when i was sitting earlier in class n i moved my leg bcs i was feeljng so restless#my poor leg oh man that . bone or wtvr felt so uncomfortable#no shit i think the main problem rn is that it is that time of the month n i will die this week#<- that genuinely is me being dramatic bcs my POOR BODY#i don't want to think abt anything rn but i can't help but be conscious of the time#( and the pain ) and i can't focus#n my mind wanders. as i am wont to do. even when standing ( laying down... ) still#i am a wanderer at heart :')#my memory is so wack rn bcs there's this moment in my head#i can't remember if it was a dream or if it was reality#the sadder half of it is reality i rmb that pain well but#i can't remember anymore. about the other one#was that peace n happiness from smth real? i can't remember#n then i also fucking hate ny observation skills n how perceptive i am#but ignorance is never bliss to me bcs ignorance gives me anxiety :/#i dont want to think n analyze#hear feel think sorry no it's overwhelming rn#i just want to sleeeep but i shouldn't! n i hate sleeping actually bcs it takes so long#but i like being asleep. it's quiet. but goddamn i'd rather have those 'nightmares' from before than the 'dreams'#oh no. how will i survive onsite this week w my cramps oh noooooooo#i'm really dramatic when it comes to pain ( it genuinely hurts a lot though... ) just like emet-selch frfr#oh yk i wanted to walk for a bit earlier just to see the moon again but it was cloudy. 😭
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thiswontbeforever · 2 years
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TW// sh & s*icidal thoughts, anxiety, depression
okay idk if it’s just me bc i haven’t seen anyone else really mention it & pls let me know if i should delete this but was anybody else watching s2 and really noticing that darkness edvin was talking about in wille?
first off the anxiety, depression, & dissociation he experiences is heartbreaking. i mean we saw s1 the constant anxiety, coping mechanisms, & the more physical & violent panic attacks (& maybe a form of sh with him hitting his head/pulling his hair) but the display of his anxiety this time is very different (picking his nails instead, the mouth movement thing edvin mentioned) and ofc not being able to breathe (still with the collar & ties) but it’s all even more repressed than s1. i mean it was heartbreaking bc he really doesn’t have anyone to lean on & he knows he needs to use his role as crown prince in a way he never wanted to in order to get what he wants & so he’s trying to keep that facade together, separate himself like erik (supposedly) did, & even w/ going to the school therapist he’s not actually addressed his anxiety much w/ anyone. i mean him actually throwing up this season, the anxiety taking over his body AGAIN, it’s such an intense and draining state to be in and edvin did an incredible job of adapting wille’s anxiety w/ the new situation. additionally, the scenes where he’s so out of it, literally looks just empty and blank…had me a mess. as much as i hate certain scenes, thinking about wille’s mental health & heartbreak i really do understand (it’s like simon asking “why can’t i just fall in love with him (marcus)? - why can’t i get over this? everyone says it’ll get better so i’m just being dramatic right? why does it still feel like this? what if i could feel it with someone else? desperation from both of them to try and feel anything other than what they do after it all, without each other, feel something close to what they had. it’s the whole point - they cant. they only had what they had because it was them and moving on is more miserable bc everyone involved has a different motive, different expectations, and are all using each other to a certain extent. trying to prove something but all they prove is what exists between simon & wille is real, and right, & cannot be recreated or replaced). okay i got way off topic buT -
back to wille’s state of mind what i was getting at was that darkness was truly there & i genuinely kept waiting for him to possibly hurt himself or really allude to suicidal thoughts. (there were a few lines where he did say just like i feel like i’m gonna die (?) i think it was) & with that true hollow look he had in so many scenes i wouldn’t have been surprised if those ideations were brought up. i never thought wille would actually do that or that that’s where the story was heading, but i just mean that i GET what edvin was saying. it’s darkness of anger, revenge, regret, and wille’s entire mental state where he genuinely feels like it’s never going to stop hurting or get better because he’s lost the one person who gave him hope. that scene where he goes to the like fence in front of the lake (?), listening to music, and then felice comes…i mean flashback to wilmon at the lake, how cold the water is then as a joke, a tease about august (?)…but in this scene it seemed like wille had been just standing there for a while before felice came & i really had this feeling of just disassociation & maybe unconsciously him thinking about the temperature of the lake…not like seriously but i hope what i’m trying to say makes sense.
i just think it was brilliant writing and acting to show how bad the position wille is in really was for him & have him finally start to open up in therapy & with felice & simon.
that being said…
where the fUck was my simon breakdown. (i know we saw a BIT in the last episode my poor baby 😭 he looked absolutely devastated & broken but god like !! i wanted more especially after trying to distract himself with marcus & everything uh. i’m glad he had his song but then !! they took it away)
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bcofl0ve · 9 months
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🔥 Hey, first time sending an anon here. I’m coming from a neutral and peaceful place when I ask what I’m about to ask- just genuinely curious. Is there anything from your side of the fandom that irks you and is there any parts of the other side of the fandom that you low key agree with?
I’m asking not so much to be combative or cause drama…I’m just genuinely fascinated by this fandom. I’m a little removed as I’m a fan of Austin but not as die hard as you and his following (I’d say I’m pretty casually a fan). I lurk bc I had do some research for a project (I’m in the industry but not like some huge deal or anything) and I got the most sucked into the Kaustin rabbit hole compared to other fandoms as my research started around awards seasons so…here I am still checking in and curious about both sides all of these months later 😅
Being both a bit removed and being in the industry…in all bluntness and fairness, I find both sides get a few things wrong, fill in blanks with a narrative that suits their opinion, and has a few stretches of the imagination/over simplifications about the complexities of the industry and human dynamics and relationships. And obviously nobody can be 100% right about people they don’t know (hell, even about ppl we DO know we can make wrong assumptions). Plus when things get dramatic to an “ us vs them” extent it’s all too human to get further tunnel vision about your own beliefs and opinions. So I’m curious if there’s anything good or that you agree with on the other side and anything about your side that you side eye.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think they’re PR. But I also think their body language is off and do believe they’re in different places in their life for it to work out long term. I’m not telling you YOU should take my side and agree as much as I’m trying to level with ya and show my hand as I do truly come in peace here and see some aspects to both sides from my perspective. And if that’s not proof enough, here’s a bonafide peace offering: while I see good and bad and right and wrong to both sides…Pappi Austin and their at least 4-20 accounts all with caplocked insults are unhinged AF lol. I promise I see bad on their side (which I’m highlighting bc that’s one of the worst parts of that side of the fandom from my POV. I get I’m asking you and by proxy YOUR side this tough question, hence I wanted to share that part lol).
So if you’re up for it, anything you low key agree with or appreciate from their side, anything you think is off or you’re not as on board with on your side, and hell do you have any nuanced thoughts on all of it that wouldn’t naturally come up (not like a put down on either side or a compliment but just…thoughts you haven’t gotten to document that are related to this question).
Thanks for reading and thanks a bunch if you answer.
omg your first anon welcome to the crazy show hahaha. and no worries about your opinion, i have a dear friend in the twitter fandom who is in your camp there. she knows my take, i know hers and we get along just fine bc we simply talk about other things 99% of the time lolll.
my thing with certain folks on the other side that gen idk, makes me sad. is that i do think there are a select number of folks that are like. genuinely worried about austin thinking he’s being trapped in a pr relationship. and i know that worry is coming from *some* place of care for him, even if it’s severely misguided. over on twitter there’s a lot of twitter accounts that seem to be folks who maybe didn’t grow up with the internet of today, and don’t have tiptop media literacy and it *kills* me that people like pappiaustin got their hooks into those folks/has these poor people convinced an actor they love is miserable and trapped in a horrible relationship.
and as much as i do, right now, think she’s the one…shit happens and life twists and turns and that might change someday. i said a few months ago that i think a hypothetical breakup would probably be fueled by kaia having a midnight rain by taylor swift moment, and still think that. she’s so young. you will never see me deny that!
as for our side? i do think we could pick where to dig our heels in better sometimes, and we VERY much includes me. but like. they aren’t engaged right now. probably. and that’s okay! i don’t think they’re secretly engaged and when i see someone double down on thinking they are i cringe. 😅
i think ppl who aren’t anti kaia can also be really over protective of austin even about things that aren’t related to her and cross boundaries in that area at times.
like- i was in a group chat when lisa died where someone was more or less hypotheticalling about exactly how austin heard the news/how he reacted and it made me really really uncomfortable. and i mean i had fleeting thoughts on that i won’t lie. but sharing them in a huge group chat where you’re more or less writing fanfic…icky. i’m so grateful for my friends who i talked with one on one those awful two weeks because having that space to unpack my worry for him without bringing it to the masses kept my head screwed on.
also hey, speaking more generally i baby him too sometimes. but you gotta be self aware of when you’re being too much! self awareness is a gift and more people should use it!
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riverstardis · 1 year
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the best day of my life:
this episode🙄
“the camera is not my friend, it tends to give me the look of an undertaker. hardly a vote of confidence for prospective patients” the wording “prospective patients” is funny to me bc yknow i’m not sure the patients tend to shop around a&es prior to needing one sjdkfkf
aww david baked a lemon drizzle cake and called it “lemon misery”
SJDKFKKF lily comes in saying “man with a 12 inch—“ and max interrupts to say “guilty” 😭😭 but she just carries on “—laceration”
how did hanssen know elle again?
charlie’s still got the pills in his locker😬
ah there’s glen!
cal saying he’s due a hair of the dog and ethan’s like noo can we just have a quiet one and cal goes “what? no. where’s your stamina ethan?” he doesn’t have any because his body is NOT used to the amount of drinking he’s suddenly started doing😭😭
oh look there’s the delicatessen lady🙄
cal tries to convince ethan to ask her out but he says she’s a patient and cal goes “well that’s never stopped me” soo effie was just ethan being more cal? i don’t think this ethan would like 2018/19 ethan very much
“try not to be yourself. channel that knight magic. and don’t do anything i wouldn’t do” “…so anything?”
top 10 moments before disaster
i can’t watch this🫣
“anyone ever tell you you look like the milkybar kid?” “er my brother used to make me wear a neckerchief to school. which probably explains why i got beaten up so often.” poor ethan :((
i really don’t understand how anyone thought this was okay…
what gets me is that ethan sounds genuinely terrified which means that either that was written in the script and the writer somehow managed to justify ethan being terrified and playing it as a joke or it was an acting choice and george was trying to change the tone of the scene to what it should have been. not that it not being in the script would make it any better, it would be bad enough even without the fear in his voice😭
it’s funny how some of the background nurses seem to literally just be there for the male staff to flirt with. like there is absolutely no overlap between the ones we see actually working like tash and the ones who we see flirting
elle going snooping in charlie’s locker
she lured ethan in there to be a sperm donor🤬 who tf approved this
ethan saying “you don’t know anything about me” makes me think they did this just to highlight that if she had gotten pregnant the child could have hd without her knowing???? could they really not think of a better way to do that wtf😭😭
she apologised to him as if that makes it all fine wtf😭😭
“do you know how hard it is to make friends when you’re made to gallop into school pretending to be a cowboy?” 😭😭
sometimes it just hits me that cal’s dead😥
hitchhikers guide to the galaxy reference sjskfkk
max beating dylan at chess sjdkfk
on one hand it was weird that elle went looking in charlie’s locker but on the other connie saying she went on a witch hunt against him is a little dramatic and i do feel bad for her because she genuinely believed she was doing the right thing
rita’s tyres have been slashed :/
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angelspenance · 3 years
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(I couldn’t tell if it was stepping over a line to send you this ask and you do not need to post it, but-) I saw your personal post about struggling with being undiagnosed but feeling like something is Seriously Wrong even though doctors will tell you that you’re doing fine in school, and I wanted to let you know that your struggle is valid, and I’m sorry you’re not getting help and validation from ‘official sources.’ I like seeing you enjoy the things you like, and I followed you because I thought you were neat and had interesting things to say. I really hope that you can get the help you’re looking for and that you can get the sense, at least from me, that you’re valid and you aren’t alone
thank u this was a very nice ask to recieve :)
#asks#anon#im glad u enjoy me n my content & my passion for my interests!#my whole thing is that i Try to do things out of need to bc if i mess up i feel u know. worthless burdensome etc.#and since ive grown so used to hiding Everything when i tell ppl im. for lack of more specific terms. fucked in the head#they go 'no way haha i never wouldve guessed. cant relate. anyway'#like im competent out of need to be thanks to self worth issues but in reality just. everything hurts everyday#bc my poor mental health manifests in my body so i always have headaches and tight shoulders and back pain and i cant focus on anything#like the one thing i Did get diagnosed for was clinical depression and my doctor commented on how tight my shoulders were from my own mind#taking its toll. but still was like 'haha u should be fine'#and my parents dont want me on meds or anything and think im just being dramatic abt things and that technology is whats to blame for#everything about me and then dont listen to a word i say and get mad when i tell them how i feel so. there is That.#plus ive got a whole paranoia thing that nobody genuinely likes me thanks to having ex friends make a literal group hate chat about me#a few years ago and whenever ppl tell me that they appreciate me i feel like theyre lying even if i Know that theyre not and its just#a really weird feeling to shake. also ive got this thing where i wake up and i just feel innately Wrong? like ive literally woken up having#an anxiety attack and realized it hours later bc i have such a poor read on my own feelings bc ive been so detached from them for so long#like all ive got is 'something everything is wrong' 'full of love' 'i think im good rn' 'pain. suffering even' & 'intense fixation'#and this is like. the half of it#sorry abt the vent but ty for the ask it was rlly nice :')#wshdlf im so fucked in the head i find solace thru madoka magica </3
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pourcap · 2 years
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thoughts: pg chapter 8
idk what's happening but i hate the regent
damen hurrying to get back to the camp and being genuinely worried about laurent when now, finally, he could escape without anyone getting in his way... so much has already changed between them and they're not even really close yet <3
his poor horse :(
yay laurent is okay !!
'You’re alive,’ Damen said, and the words came out on a rush of relief that made him feel weak. ‘I’m alive,’ said Laurent. They were gazing at one another. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back.’ ‘I came back,’ said Damen. ???? what was that omg i have no clue what's going on between them anymore but whatever it is, i am 100% on board <3 what laurent said made it seem like he was just as relieved to see damen as damen was to see him and that's really... unexpected? and sweet? and it makes me a little sad too because sometimes i feel like laurent appreciates damen for not being afraid to be straight with him, if that makes sense. damen doesn't sexualize him, doesn't really fear him (at least not enough to keep himself from being brutally honest with him), doesn't have an 'instinct for deception', etc. what i'm trying to say is, i feel like that allows laurent to be less guarded? which is also why he might've been so honest with damen at the end of chapter 7
damen checking laurent's body for injuries :'((
i genuinely think damen is one of my favorite fictional characters ever
'That’s why I think we should fight,’ said Laurent. ‘It’s the last thing I would ever do, and the last thing that anyone, knowing me, would expect.' aaaaaah that's so sexy of him!!! yes, win against your horrible uncle with damen by your side!!! <3
Laurent said, ‘I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a hole in the wall.' he is still thinking about damen's strength vs. that grille :)))))
orlant died??? noooooo
wait what
orlant was an insurgent?? and aimeric killed him?? literally HOW is aimeric always right where something happens? like, either he's just there, or he's the cause. i mean, i'm happy he was there to look out for laurent, but still. how unlucky can one person be to always be right in the middle of things?
ugh sorry but i hate aimeric so much. everything he says sounds so overly dramatic. i know he just killed someone and he's young, but i just can't stand him. what does jord see in him? :((((
another mention of nikandros so i'm guessing there's a deeper connection between him and damen? bc, if i remember correctly, he's the only akielon other than damen's immediate family and jokaste that he's ever mentioned...?
Pulling his sword from the man who had tried to knife him, Damen saw the mercenary at his right fall victim to a precise killing. ‘I thought you were supposed to be the bait,’ said Laurent. that was so sexy of laurent
damen is seriously the coolest <3
He had achieved new status among them as the quick thinker who had saved half the men and all of the wine. lol. priorities :)
He leaned his back against the tree beside Laurent, and let his limbs feel heavy. at this point i'm drooling over everything damen does...
'It’s because of you,’ said Laurent. the honesty!!!
'(...) After what I did to you in Arles, he thought you’d be—another Govart. Another one of his men. (...) That was what was supposed to have happened tonight.' oh wow. i hate the regent and LOVE laurent and damen becoming a power couple <3
'Instead, you have saved my life, more than once. You have made fighters of these men, trained them, honed them. Tonight you handed me my first victory. My uncle never dreamed you’d be this kind of asset to me. If he had, he would never have allowed you to ride out of the palace.' sorry for once again quoting sm but i am sitting here smiling from ear to ear. that's exactly the kind of fuck you the regent deserves to get from both laurent and damen. plus a devastatingly long and torturous death obviously
i love this. i loooooooove this. i love prince's gambit so much <3
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Get Over Yourself - Lindsey Horan x Reader
Prompt: The Great Horan x reader? Where she and R aren’t a thing, but there are some feelings there. R always flirts with her and asks her out a lot, but Lindsey always rejects her. Eventually, R stops doing it bc she doesn’t want to continue being hurt and disappointed by the rejection. So, when R gets shipped with another teammate (you decide) by the fans, R has to flirt with them as PR stunt. Lindsey gets jealous and realizes that she wants to be the only one R flirts with. Cue an angsty fight between the two until she finally tells R how she feels and they make up.
“Hey Linds, do you believe in love at first sight?” Y/N smirked, slowly walking past Lindsey, pausing, waiting for the midfielder to acknowledge her. Once Lindsey looked up, cocking her head to the side, she continued, “or do you need me to walk by again?” Y/N winked, giving a slow, dramatic strut past.
Several players rolled their eyes, some boo’ing, while others squirted Y/N with water. Lindsey just rolled her eyes, fighting a smirk, “come on, let’s pass,” she reached a handout for Y/N to help tug her up.
Y/N grasped the offered hand, tugging Lindsey to a standing position. Lindsey, not expecting Y/N to actually pull her up, pushed herself up at the same time, crashing her body into Y/N’s.
“If you wanted to feel me up, you just had to ask,” Y/N smirked, hands on either of Lindsey’s hips to help steady her.
“You gotta buy me dinner first for that,” Lindsey gave Y/N a gentle shove to the chest before jogging away, tapping a ball with her.
“Yea?” Y/N hesitated, biting her lip, watching the blonde to see if she was serious or not. The friends had such a flirtatious relationship, the lines between friends and more had been blurred, were blurred. Hands would wander, hugs lingered, eyes always finding each other in crowded rooms. Y/N was the first person Lindsey would seek out when she needed to talk about something, needed comfort, or just needed to hear Y/N’s voice.
Anyone watching the two women could easily interpret the interactions would assume the friends were a couple. But they weren’t. The concept of a romantic relationship had never been discussed. Y/N had been working to feel out if it was more than harmless flirting for Lindsey, like it was for herself. But their friendship had been like this for so long, Y/N didn’t know how Lindsey felt.
Y/N knew how she felt, how she couldn’t help be drawn to Lindsey, and would be more than willing maintain the friendship as long as it meant she still got to be with the midfielder. Worried if Lindsey knew the true intention behind Y/N’s flirting it would push her away.
Y/N was brought out of her musings when Lindsey flipped a ball into her stomach.
“We playing or not you weirdo?” Lindsey smirked.
“Oh yea,” Y/N kicked the ball back, still only half paying attention. Her thoughts still on her feelings for the blonde, distracted by Lindsey implying she might want to go for dinner with Y/N, “so you, me, dinner. Then you can feel me up as much as you want,” the soccer player smirked, but her eyes critically watching the midfielder.
Lindsey scoffed, rolling her eyes, “What, like a date?” thinking it was a joke, laughed, juggling the ball a few times before passing it back, “like I would ever date you,” she continued to laugh alone.
Y/N felt her entire body heat up. Lindsey thought it was a joke. A joke they would ever date. That she was a joke, the concept of them as a joke, “hey, I was just trying to give you free access to touch all this,” she awkwardly motioned the length of her body, “your loss, “she tried to play it off, hoping her voice sounded more nonchalant than it really felt.
Thankfully, Y/N was saved from having to hear what Lindsey would say or do by practicing beginning.
For the next two hours, it was Y/N could do to avoid Lindsey. Switching lines for drills, have to re-tie her cleats several times, even requesting more work with the defenders to avoid all the midfielders. Everyone gave Y/N strange looks when she darted away at the water break and Lindsey reached out to touch a bruise forming on Y/N’s leg.
Somehow, Y/N managed to avoid the team for the next two days. Arriving just on time to meetings, meals, and practices. Leaving as soon as she could. She spent two days putting in extra workouts, extra training, or just wandering the mall. Anything that would keep her put of the hotel and away from the team. She was only trying to avoid the blonde, but she knew it was near impossible to avoid one person in the close group of women.
“Y/L/N!” one of the media coordinators called her as she tried to rush out of another meeting on the third day, “you and Mewis are up for media, let’s go.”
“Fuck” Y/N mumbled, slowly turning around to follow the media person.
“Don’t sound so excited!” Kristie slung an arm across Y/N’s shoulders, “we’re both hot, funny, and supposedly really good at soccer. We are a triple threat!” she tugged Y/N to a stop to jump on her back for a piggy back ride, “we get stuck, just flex these guns,” Kristie teasingly squeezed Y/N’s arms, “and they’ll all be so distracted we can just run away.”
That drew a genuine laugh from the soccer player, she tightened her hold under the blondes’ legs and carried her into the media room.
The media team all laughed as the pair walked in, Kristie having wrapped her legs around Y/N’s waist and around her shoulders., holding so tightly Y/N didn’t need to hold her. Looking similar to koala on a branch.
“USWNT presents ‘Koala or Kristie’. Where we show you a picture and you decide if it’s a koala or a Kristie,” Y/N announced to the media staff as she turned so Kristie could let go and drop right into the chair. When Kristie didn’t let go right away, Y/N reached behind her and began tickling the blonde until her grip let go and she fell into the chair.
The staff all laughed at the pairs antics, “you guys are already live,” one called while the two finished settling into the chairs, handing a phone over so they could read the questions being sent in.
Y/N smirked while she scrolled through the comments, letting Kristie introduce them and officially start their session.
“Alright Y/N/N,” Kristie leaned into Y/N’s side to attempt to read the phone and choose a question, “start off with a good one.”
“I have one of my own before I get to the fan ones,” Y/N giggled, grinning at the blonde while she tugged the phone away, “do you think you have the right koala-fications?”
Kristie stared at Y/N before glancing to the media staff behind the camera, “I think I’m busy today guys, I am available when I can do this with anyone else.”
Y/N maintained a serious expression, “that answers that, Kristie Mewis does not have the right koala-fications,” she began scrolling through the phone looking for a real fan question while Kristie turned and mock gasped at Y/N, “if I could play any other sport professionally, I would be a basketball player,” she continued on, ignoring Kristie staring at her.
Y/N deliberately focused on the phone, waiting for Kristie to say anything, her serious expression slipping and a smirk cracking through.
Kristie shook her head, “no way you could be a basketball player, you’re way too short,” she held a hand up next to her, drastically exaggerating Y/N’s height.
“But I’ve got mad hops, and big feet!” Y/N put her hands under her knee and lifted her leg, so her foot was in view of the camera.
“That just means you have big feet, not that it will make you a good basketball player,” Kristie laughed, pushing Y/N’s foot away from her.
“My mom said I’ll grow into them, there’s still a chance,” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. She knew she wouldn’t get any taller, but it was fun working Kristie up.
“You’re 28, you’re not growing into your feet at this point,” Kristie rolled her eyes, shaking her head, “read a question!”
Much of their live session went that way, very few questions being answered. The friends easily distracted, telling stories or just bantering, forgetting the camera was there entirely.
By the end of the say, the video had been picked apart, screenshots were made, and new a secret couple was formed.
Y/N had gone back to avoiding the team, her thoughts even more jumbled now that everyone assumed she was with Kristie. She didn’t have feelings for Kristie, she loved her like a friend and loved their easy going dynamic, but it would never be anything more that. And she knew Kristie felt the same.
“You’re avoiding me,” Lindsey said as greeting when Y/N walked into her room the next day.
“Fuck!” Y/N stepped back into the closed door, her body crashing against it, “what the fuck Lindsey?” she stomped further into the room.
“You’re avoiding me,” Lindsey repeated, sitting in a chair in the corning, watching Y/N move around the room.
“I’m not avoiding you,” Y/N continued to rummage around the room, mindlessly moving things around in order to look busy, “how’d you get into my room?”
“Kicked your rookie out, convinced the poor kid medical needed to redo their testing,” she answered quickly, “you’re avoiding me,” she said it a third time.
“I’m not avoiding you,” Y/N began to refold her suitcase to keep her hands busy and continue to avoid looking at the blonde critically staring at her, “but just to clarify, if I was, you thought the solution was to corner me in my room?”
“Is this because of practice the other day?” Lindsey pushed out of the chair and closed the distance between them, “because I know I’ve felt you up for less than dinner before,” she chuckled softly, stepping close, pressing her body against y/N’s placing a handout to land low on Y/N’s hip.
Y/N abruptly dropped the shirt she was folding and took two large steps away from Lindsey, “Fuck Lindsey, it’s not always about you. I’m not avoiding you. I haven’t hung out with anyone else,” she snapped, her jaw clenching while she stared hard at Lindsey.
Lindsey stared wide eyed at the sudden outburst before gathering herself, snapping back, “yet, Kristie gets to hang all over you.”
“You hang all over me all the time Lindsey, it’s the same thing. Besides, it was for the live thing we did,” Y/N didn’t know what she was so angry all of a sudden. She was avoiding Lindsey and Lindsey was just calling her out on the immature behaviour. Y/N really didn’t understand why she was upset, Lindsey had a right to confront her avoidance. Y/N was the one that had decided to pull away when it seemed Lindsey didn’t see their friendship as anything more. But what Y/N really didn’t understand, was why Lindsey was so upset about Kristie being on her.  
Lindsey knew why she was upset. She had spent the last two days always just missing Y/N and had replayed all their interactions before Y/N seemingly disappeared. The only thing she could come up with when she joked about them going out and shooting down Y/N’s dinner invite. Then she watched the live session Y/N did with Kristie, a few other players planning on throwing in their own obscure questions. The feeling she got in her chest watching Y/N carry Kristie in was a feeling she couldn’t place; she’d never felt it before.
Jealously was what Alex said.
Longing was what Kelley said.
Infatuation was what Rose said.
Gross was what Sam said, thinking it was directed at her sister.
Realization was what Sonnett said.
She sat silent the entire time, that feeling growing throughout. She ruminated on what her friends. None of the words fit, yet, they all fit. That was the problem, they all fit. She was realizing her feelings for Y/N. She was infatuated with how effortlessly funny she was. Longed to be the one Y/N was making smile the way she was making Kristie smile. And she jealous Kristie got to be the one Y/N was with while she had been avoided for two days.
So, Lindsey knew why she was upset. She was frustrated at herself because she wanted to tell Y/N how she felt but she couldn’t get the words out. Could only make a joke that didn’t end up being a great joke because now Y/N was upset too.
“Get over yourself Lindsey. You don’t get a say in who hangs on me and who doesn’t,” Y/N said, her voice had started firm, but sounded defeated by the end. She looked down before shuffling back to the bed to resume folding her clothes.
“But what if I did?” Lindsey rushed out, crinkling her face at how that sounded, implying Y/N was something someone controlled, “fuck, that came out wrong! I meant, I want hang all over you and you to hang all over me. And dinner, so I can feel you up. And I don’t want you avoiding me anymore.”
Y/N’s hands paused while she folder her shirt, before continuing, her eyes never leaving the shirt, “Lindsey, you don’t get to come in here pissed at me because you got jealous, then expect things to be alright.”
“I don’t want that or expect that! Yes, I got so jealous when I saw you and Kristie together and I didn’t even understand what it meant. But then I figured it out, I wanted all our banter and jokes about being together to be real. I don’t want to call you at the end of bad day, because I won’t have to because you’ll be in the bed next to me,” Lindsey saw Y/N’s hands stop moving and the shirt slip back on top of the suit case, Y/N’s arms dropping to her side, but she still wouldn’t look up.  
Lindsey took a tentative step closer, not wanting to spook the girl away like she had initially.
“I want it all to be real. I want everything we had a couple days ago again, but I want it to be real and more. I want this gross longing feeling to stop because I have you again,” taking a risk, she gently held Y/N’s hand and giving it a squeeze.
Y/N squeezed back before letting go, “Linds, just because you got jealous doesn’t me this is what you want. You like the idea of me, you don’t like me. And we can try and go back to how it was before, but my feelings are real, Lindsey, I know how I feel about you.”
“My feelings are real too!” Lindsey gripped Y/N’s hand again, tight, “this isn’t just me being jealous, watching you with Kristie was just what I needed to realize that I was just too scared to admit how I felt about you. I know how I feel about you,” she finished with conviction, reaching for other hand and squeezed both tight.
“Ok,” Y/N nodded, seeing the sincerity on Lindsey’s face.
“Ok?”
Lindsey was confused, she poured her heart out and she gets is ok?
“I don’t know your feelings Linds, but I trust you, and if you say they are real, then they’re real,” she smiled.
“So, can I take you for dinner?” Lindsey asked, still shy even though she knew the answer would be yes.
“And you can feel me up all you want after.”
325 notes · View notes
hansolmates · 4 years
Text
here comes the bride, all dressed in pride
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summary; You and your cousin Doyeon have had beef with each other since the sandbox. When she plucks the last straw, you decide to end your long-simmering fight by claiming that you and her ex—Jeon Jungkook, are now boyfriend and girlfriend pairing; jungkook x reader (f) genre/warnings; fake dating!au, fluff, crack, mentions of cheating, lang, alcohol, mc eats meat, tw sexual harassment, toxic family, dick talk, making out, if u have that one family member that pulls bs on you constantly this is it, this fic is for all the people who have a huge ass family who wont leave them alone w.c; 17.3k  a/n: my second fic for gcn’s 23 birthday project! the fact that wedding szn zoomed by us like that... and so bc im sad that so many weddings had to be postponed this fic was born! a huge thank u to vivi @eerieedits​ / @chillingtae​​ for creating this BEAUTIFUL fic banner and separator pls check vivi out to make your fics all purty
prompts used: “You’ve always been beautiful to me, don’t you know that?” and “I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.”
if you enjoyed this pls consider giving a like and a share💕💕
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Doyeon likes to call Jungkook, “the one who got away.” 
You like to call Doyeon, “the one who drove him away.” 
In secret, of course. In fact, the only person who knows how much you loathe Doyeon and her behavior is your father. And all your co-workers. And your boss. And your boss’ ex-husband. 
And Jeon Jungkook, but of course you haven’t seen the man in two years and back then he was far too polite to address his concerns of your hatred of his then-girlfriend. 
Okay, so everyone and their mother knows how much you don’t like your cousin. Kim Doyeon and you have had beef since the sandbox, and for whatever reason is always out to one-up you. A strange competitive nature in everything, academics, family, and even boys. The sick, twisted part of you has come to enjoy it. While you’re not a fighter as devout as Doyeon is, you have your own callous tendencies farmed from the seeds Doyeon has planted in your brain. She gives you a comment? You can’t help but throw one back. Since you’re a painfully mature soul you don’t have any mortal enemies as far as you know, Doyeon is the perfect amount of hot water to keep you on your toes. 
“I’m really sorry that you couldn’t be a bridesmaid,” Doyeon cooes next to you, swirling her champagne glass with a too-jutted pout, “but if I did there’d be an odd number of pairings and you’re a little too old to be walking as a bridesmaid, am I right?” 
Your nails. Are digging. Through your dress. Alas, you’re in public and you have class. Doyeon smiles at you with all teeth, reminding you of the Beldam from Coraline. Aside from that she looks absolutely stunning in that Lirika Matoshi strawberry dress that has her Instagram aching with likes and love from her baseless followers. 
“I don’t know,” you reply lightly, leaning back in your seat, “I mean, if Yoojung and Rena can be bridesmaids and they’re three years older than me, wouldn’t I make the cut? It’s okay to be honest and say you just didn’t want me in the bridal party.” 
Doyeon laughs, slaps your thigh like you told her the most hilarious joke in the world. Anyone passing by would think you’re best friends. You laugh too, incredulous at the amount of power she thinks she holds. 
“Nice party,” you tack on, surveying the room. It’s filled with pastels and beiges, bright and airy.  It’s Parisian themed, and while you’re not a fan of theming cultures, you can’t deny that you’re loving the infinite supply of macarons. 
“Oh, yes. This is just a taste of the real wedding,” she laces her fingers together, as if she thinks she’s living an Elizibethean love story, “speaking of, you put on your RSVP that you’re bringing a plus one. Am I allowed to know who’s the unlucky date?” 
“As if you care.” 
“I care if you’re bringing Jimin. That tiny thing nearly gave Aunt Lillian a heart attack when he gave a striptease at Yoongi’s graduation party.” 
You smirk softly at the bold memory. That was the plan. 
Doyeon sighs dramatically, crossing her legs and popping out a cherry red heel. She plays with the back on the balls of her feet, letting the little pearly rhinestones glisten in the candlelight, “I should really commend you, cousin,” she drawls, “I mean, how kind of you to be so charitable and give your dopey friends a chance to have fun. After all, I’m sure it is difficult for someone like you to find a date.” 
It’s no surprise as to how you end up with a date at any family formal gathering. You say you bring a plus one, and then between Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok. The three of them draw straws as to who gets to gorge on free alcohol and food for that night. 
“Difficult?” you arch a brow, “I get plenty of dates.” 
Doyeon giggles. She must be feeling extra vindictive today, high on her impending marriage and the taste of bubbly champagne. “By taking turns with those three? You gotta be kidding me,” she snorts, tipping back her crystal, “please y/n. Don’t get so defensive because I’m getting married first. Your time will come. That is, if you stop dicking around with your friends.” 
Normally you’d smother any attempt at Doyeon to call out your friends, but now she’s just done that and insulted your ability to get some, and you are livid. 
“Actually,” you quip sharply, “I’ve been dating someone. It’s been a couple months, actually.” 
“Oh?” Doyeon’s genuinely interested, face falling slightly, “you’ve never mentioned anyone, I don’t see anyone on your social media.” 
“Yeah well,” you feign sympathy, pressing your lips together and tilting your head accordingly, “I’ve had to keep it private for a couple of reasons.” 
“What, is he ugly or something?” she chuckles, “but really, who’s the person who has the misfortune of being in a committed relationship with you?” 
Maybe it’s because Doyeon’s right, the both of you are too old. The two of you have been running around each other for years, with no end in sight. Maybe, the words that linger on the tip of your tongue will be the final nail in the coffin. 
“Jeon Jungkook,” you state proudly, clear as day. “Jungkook and I have been dating for three months.” 
And you pick up the vanilla macaron that sits innocently on your plate, ravishing it up like it contained all the tension in your table. Between you and Doyeon’s bubble, you could hear a pin drop. 
“Jungkook?” her smile is concrete-solid, “my Jungkook?” 
“My Jungkook,” you correct, giving her a puppy-eyed look, “I’m really sorry I never told you. I mean, is there ever a right time to tell your cousin they’re dating their ex-boyfriend?” you laugh, either to lighten the mood or because you love the way Doyeon pinches her face, you don’t know.
“How did you two even meet?” 
“We reconnected through Seokjin. You know how the two of them play Starcraft together, I just ended up joining the call and he was so funny and nice. We just sorta… felt it.” Doyeon nods like a slow bobblehead, still comprehending in her pea-sized brain, “I just hope it isn’t too awkward. I know it’s been awhile but, if you really don’t want Jungkook to come I can always take Hoseok or something.” 
“No, it’s fine,” Doyeon says a little too quickly, masking on her picture-perfect smile. “I’m with Namjoon now, and I’m totally happy. Water under the bridge, it’ll be totally fine.” 
“Really?” your eyes practically sparkle, thankful for the amount of glitter and highlighter you’ve dumped on your face today, “I really appreciate it, Yeonie.” 
And she quickly downs her champagne glass, and gets up from her seat. It’s haunting, the way she gets up, pink tulle billowing around her ankles. “I have to attend to the other guests,” she says. 
“Of course,” you raise your glass.
“But, be careful,” she gives you a little smile, one filled with a last-ditch attempt at a jab, “Jungkook, he’s a little hard to deal with.” 
“Oh don’t worry. I know how to deal with Jungkook’s hardness,” you wink, and Doyeon’s face falls like a ton of bricks. 
“That’s not what I meant.” 
“I know,” you shrug loftily, “that’s what I meant, though.” 
And you don’t bother watching Doyeon stomp off the metaphorical stage, double fisting two new glasses of champagne from an awaiting butler as she finds some other poor guest to pick on. Now, the matter of securing your date. Conveniently so, the most important man in the room is walking your way, and you manage to snag his tie just as he passes your table. 
“Ow—ow! I’m choking!” Seokjin grabs, nearly throwing his tall body onto your lap, hands grappling to release the tension on his neck. “Leave me alone, woman! I just wanted to get some chicken tenders!” 
“Jin,” you say sweetly, opening his blazer to retrieve his phone, “I need Jeon’s number, now.” 
“Jungkook?” your favorite cousin pales, eyes widening as you take out your phone of your own, copying down the digits, “what did you do?” 
“Don’t ask questions.” 
Seokjin says your name again, firmer. “You’re playing with fire.” 
“It’ll be fine, it’s the last time,” you quell, already knowing how much Seokjin hates being in the middle of your fights. Once you’ve secured the phone number, you place Seokjin’s phone back into his pocket, patting his breast. “Thank you. You know you’re my favorite cousin, you know that?” 
He grumbles a “damn right I am” before stomping away, resuming his race for his chicken tenders. 
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You: hey jeon it’s y/n. I see you’re doing great, i saw on instagram that you released your first app w/yoongi! Totally amazing, been playing for weeks, really upset that i can’t get past the flaming frog boss :((
You: Feel free to ignore this, i won’t blame you if you do. Im at doyeon’s rehearsal dinner, and she basically snubbed my friends and said i couldn’t get some prime dick even though im?? Me??? Anyway, im tired of her shit so im gonna throw it back at her, one last time before she ties the knot. I told her you and i have been dating, and im bringing you as my date to her wedding. Really sorry, the demons took over my brain and made the worst and best comeback of my life. So… if you’re up for being the hottest couple on the floor in three weeks and showing how madly in love we are, please text me back? Or not. You might think this family is crazy and i accept partial responsibility. 
You: I’ll buy u every meal for every practice date we have if u agree.💕💕💕
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: thanks, i appreciate that. To defeat the frog boss, go back to the coconut cave and find the garnet garter. It absorbs his fire and u can easily defeat froggo w any level 15 weapon
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: and as for the real reason u texted me. Im in. let’s get pork belly tomorrow. 
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Two years ago, you were surprised that Doyeon could manage to snag a man as fine as Jeon Jungkook. Also unsurprised, because Doyeon is gorgeous and could snag any man she wanted, and has snagged every man she wanted. 
Jungkook was different though. He had an air of innocence to him. He loved her, a little too much to be safe. Your heart would betray you every time you would find him at a family gathering, making her plate and counting the calories she so meticulously measured. How can someone so sweet be with someone like Doyeon? 
Your heart ached for Jungkook when they broke up a year later. From what you heard, Doyeon was Jungkook’s first serious girlfriend. And then you wanted to rip your heart out a week later when you caught Doyeon smooching with her favorite graduate professor Kim Namjoon, wanting to erase any possibility you’d have at love. At that time, you never wanted to feel the pain you imagined Jungkook was going through. 
“Y/n! Over here!” you’re a little taken aback at how much has not changed in Jungkook. His eyes still sparkle like fresh dew, his smile is still pearly white and infectious. He’s even early, snagging a table at his favorite barbeque place and waiting for you as if he is the one organizing your first date. 
At the same time, there’s so much that’s changed about him. He’s confident, even going so far as to walk over to you and slip your jacket and purse in his grasp like a gentleman. He leads you by putting a hand lightly at the small of your back, making you feel impossibly small in comparison to his Dorito-shaped body, broad shoulders and a deliciously trim waist. 
“How was the walk over?” 
“Not too bad,” the conversation is casual, easy. You wipe the sweat off your forehead with a napkin. “Could use a little exercise now and again. I did eat a whole tray of macarons at that rehearsal dinner.” 
Jungkook laughs from his belly, causing you to smile. “Nonsense. You look great, by the way,” you don’t mind it, actually, you enjoy it when his eyes rake over your body. After all, he’s now your boyfriend and he needs to get familiar with all the important bits. He leans his arms forward, bracing him against the wooden table so his face is closer to yours. 
“You’re not doing too bad yourself,” your eyes gloss over the veins and intricate tattoos that paint his muscled upper half. Your smile morphs into a smirk, letting him know you’re enjoying the view just as well as he is. 
And as soon as the tension sparks, it ends just as fast when your waiter comes up to light your grill. 
“So,” Jungkook wastes no time in decorating your stove, making sure to add all the appropriate aromatics and infusions to season your lunch, “do you know why Doyeon and I broke up?” 
“Cheated on you with Namjoon, I assume,” you keep your eyes trained on the darkening meat. 
Jungkook slips a piece of meat in his mouth. Any expression of pain (whether it be from Doyeon or the barely cooked meat) doesn’t reveal itself as he stops to take a sip of water. “Who else knows?” 
“Just me and Seokjin. The family loved you too much and Doyeon made up some sob story about how you two were going different life paths.” 
He chuckles to himself, taking great care in flipping the meat. “I really was a fool in love, wasn’t I?” 
“It… was mildly cute.” 
“Tell me the truth, you have no reason not to.” 
“Okay, you made me want to vomit rainbows and glitter every time I saw you.”
The two of you laugh, faces crinkling shamelessly as the two of you busy yourselves with setting up the table. Most of the food is done and the aroma of fresh onions wafts around your grill. As you place chopsticks on his side of the table, you think about all the times Jungkook made it abundantly clear how much he loved Doyeon: the love letters tucked into her purse, 100 day anniversaries, even just a simple Americano for her in the morning. 
“Is that why you never hung out with us?” 
“No,” you reply lightly, “Doyeon made it clear that I shouldn’t talk to you.” 
Jungkook frowns, “You really don’t like each other, do you.” 
You shrug, “Just always been like that,” you quirk a smile when Jungkook places the freshly cooked meat on top of your rice before serving himself. 
“So what’s the plan?” 
“We go to the wedding, make out a little, get Doyeon boiling. Even if she’s not interested in you, she’d still be upset knowing we are together.” 
“And why is that?” 
“Because it’s me,” you grin into your glass, staring at a water-stained Jungkook through the blue tinted glass. “And all you have to do, is enjoy your night and look pretty.” 
His eyes crinkle, chopsticks pressing between his lips. “You think I look pretty?” 
With a roll of eyes you don’t respond, preferring to dig your chopsticks in your rice. No need to inflate Jungkook’s ego too soon. 
Pinning the main theme of your hangout to the side, the both of you dig into your meal. You throw conversation back and forth like pebbles, grains of sand that build and build until you’re caught up with each other’s lives. It feels so strange to admit it’s been two years since you’ve spoken to the man, and all of a sudden the once luscious meat feels dry in your mouth. 
“Jeon,” you put your chopsticks down, “are you sure you want to do this with me? I mean, I know it’s all my fault and I dragged you into it. Don’t feel obligated to agree to this.” 
“I’m a hundred-percent sure,” he doesn’t stop eating, shoving two spoonfuls of rice in his mouth. His cheeks puff up considerably, and your eyes trail down to his neck as he swallows, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t wanna.” 
“Right,” you don’t need a big explanation or a personal confession from Jungkook, just his consent. “Partners, Jeon?” you hold up your glass. 
“Partners,” he agrees easily. The smile on his face disarms you, a full-fledged grin decked with pearly whites. Clicking his glass to yours he adds, “And it’s Jungkook, babe.” 
Oh, this is going to be interesting. 
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Seokjin thinks the two of you are the most boring fake-couple. 
His eyes dart back and forth between your spot on the couch and his desk, where Jungkook is currently seated. Seokjin is hovered over Jungkook, who’s typing and clicking furiously over his PC game. You’re on your phone, feet pulled up to the coffee table while some old Netflix movie plays in the background. To top it all off both of you didn’t even try to dress like it’s daytime, nearly matching in sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. It doesn’t look like a couple coming to visit Seokin, it looks like Jungkook is playing video games with Seokjin while his cousin hangs around like she owns the place. 
“Shouldn’t you guys like, I don’t know, go on dates or something?” Seokjin feels like he’s talking to the air. “Maybe get to know each other before the big day?” 
Pulling your phone down to your lap and Jungkook taking off his headphones, the two of you shrug at each other, “No, we’re good.” Jungkook says. 
“We know enough,” you agree cooly, “Jungkook likes Valorant.” 
“I do like Valorant.” 
“He likes pork belly.”
“I do like pork belly.” 
“He’s ripped as hell.” 
“I am ripped as hell.” 
“Okay but have you guys kissed yet?” Seokjin interjects, probably compensating for the nonchalance in the room with his own brand of freaking out. You two only see each other when you’re hanging out at Seokjin’s apartment, and while he’s happy that you two aren’t doing the whole 9-yards and creating an elaborate scheme, the both of you are almost too relaxed. His anxiety is spiking.
“Yes,” Jungkook answers, “at the barbeque place we went to.” 
“It was nice," you tack on, "Jin, we got this. Don't worry." 
"How can I not worry when you're trying to upset our cousin on her wedding day?" he's sweating in his fully air-conditioned apartment. “I get that she’s the devil’s spawn and everything, but she’s still a human being.” 
“In second grade she pushed me on the treadmill because I was going too slow. I got caught on the roller and got a bald spot for two months.” 
“Okay yes one bad example—” 
“And in senior year she accused me of plagiarizing her essay just because we chose the same topic. I almost didn’t get into college!” Seokjin sighs, crossing his arms. All valid points, and arguing with you isn’t a route he wants to take. “Jin, the point is that she’s constantly pushing my buttons. I’ve always been the bigger person and now that I’m old and confident I just want one jab.”
“That’s valid,” Jungkook pipes up, pressing the spacebar a few times, “I want a jab too, she cheated on me.” 
“See? It’s a mutual decision.” 
Seokjin asks, “Why aren’t you more worried about this?”
"Because Doyeon isn't going to chew me out on her wedding day," you checked your aunt's seating chart last week and you are far, far away from the bridal table. "We're just going to show off a little bit. Get drunk, eat some bomb steak. Break up in three months or less.”
"You don't have to just convince Doyeon, it's your entire family! Not to mention you also have to go to the bachelor party!" 
"Oh I almost forgot," you reach under the couch for your laptop, "Jungkook, in two weekends from now we're flying to Las Vegas for the bachelor party and wedding. I'll buy your ticket now." 
"Thanks, babe!” Jungkook sends a cheeky grin to Seokjin, who is unimpressed. “See? I remember to call her babe.” 
“Alright, get out of my house,” Seokjin tugs Jungkook away from his computer, causing the younger man to swivel around in his plush gaming chair. 
Jungkook frowns at the monitor, “But I’m still bronze one. I’m aiming for silver one by this weekend.” 
“Don’t care. As much as I don’t like this plan, I’m not letting you two slip-up.” Seokjin pulls out his phone, revealing Doyeon’s Instagram story, “Doyeon and Namjoon are at the mall buying swimsuits for Vegas. Go to the mall and ‘accidentally’ run into them.”
You sit up straight, tilting your head to the side. “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” you bound over to grab your jacket, giving Seokjin a big fat kiss on his cheek, “Thanks Jinnie, do you know you’re—”
“I’m your favorite cousin. Yeah whatever, bye.” He waves you off, plopping in his own chair so he can enjoy his games in peace. 
“I’m driving,” Jungkook declares, swiping your keys from Seokjin’s opal dish. 
“Oh, hell no,” you jump on your tippy toes to reach Jungkook’s grasp on your keys, but he’s so freakishly tall there’s no way you can reach. “I drive my car!” 
“I’ve always wanted to drive your car back then,” Jungkook cooes, leaning in so your noses touch. “C’mon, you can trust me.” 
“You two are gross already,” Seokjin admonishes from the other side of the room, “see, it’s working!” 
Poking his cheek so he gives you some space, you whip your head to hide the flush that burns on your cheeks. “Fine, but if you crash you’re buying me a new one.” 
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“They’re over there,” you hiss between the racks, shuffling between the plastic hangers to point to Doyeon and Namjoon at the women’s section of the store. They look disgustingly adorable together, with Doyeon pointedly telling Namjoon which swimsuit suits his stature better while Namjoon nods along and goes with whatever she says. You crouch down lower, fearing Namjoon’s tall frame would catch you. “Now we just gotta act all couple-y and they’ll notice us. Or maybe we can walk over to them? What do you wanna do?” 
“Do you think we should get matching swimsuits?” Jungkook pays no mind to your sleuthing, holding up a red pair of swim trunks to his thighs, “we could pretend to be sexy lifeguards.” 
You tilt your head away from the pair, only because Jungkook has been genuinely interested in this store since you’ve arrived. Putting a hand under your chin, you scrutinize the dark red cutoff shorts. “They’re cute,” you nod appreciatively, “It’ll make your thighs look thick.” 
Jungkook’s grip on his hanger lowers, and he regards you with dark eyes. “You think my thighs look thick?” he asks, leaning in and putting one hand on the curve of your waist. His fingers dance on the surface of bare skin between your top and jeans, and while you’ve agreed beforehand that you two could touch each other wherever in public, it still surprises you when gooseflesh rises to the surface.
“Easy there, tiger,” you chuckle, putting a hand on his chest to stop his sudden bout of flirting. “I’m just stating the facts, we get it. You lift.” 
“You’re so cute when you try to put your guard up,” he’s brushing noses with you now, and you feel the plastic of the hanger crumple pathetically between you two as the gap closes further. “But you can’t hide from me.”
And just as his lips move to press against yours, a shrill “Jungkook!” echoes throughout the large store.
You nearly flop over the boardshorts rack if not for Jungkook’s arms secured around your waist. Oh right, you think dumbly, this is all for show. Doyeon and Namjoon are right in front of you, purchases already made and looking at you two in curiosity. Well, Namjoon is definitely curious, because you know for a fact that Doyeon speaks very little of you to him and you’ve only conversed with him a handful of times. Doyeon on the other hand, looks a little stiff in the grin. 
“Hello to you too,” you remark to Doyeon, who’s barely acknowledged you. You reach over to squeeze Namjoon’s arm, “Hi Joonie,” you crinkle your eyes, and you fight back a squeal when he smiles back with dimples. Doyeon has such a cute fiancé, and if you’re keeping score he’s way too good for her. 
Doyeon’s eyes glaze over to where you’ve touched Namjoon, and she links her arms with his. “What a coincidence, you two are buying swimsuits where we’re buying swimsuits.” 
“Well, there’s only one mall in this town and we’re going on the same trip in two weeks,” you reply blandly, and you feel Jungkook pinch your side. “Oh, Namjoon. Have you met my boyfriend Jungkook?”
“Can’t say that I have,” Namjoon reaches over to clasp Jungkook’s hand, “nice to meet you, man.” 
While Namjoon and Jungkook exchange small talk, you pointedly ignore the waves of negativity Doyeon sends your way in favor of observing the two large men. Namjoon just said it was nice to meet him, therefore he has no clue who Jungkook is. Interesting, considering Doyeon two-timed in favor of Namjoon. It gets you a little antsy, and you wonder if Namjoon is faking this whole interaction or if Doyeon is hiding something. 
“Baby,” Jungkook rests a hand on your shoulder, regarding you with concern, “you spaced out there, are you okay?” 
“She’s like that, Jungkookie,” Jungkook gently presses your shoulders down, blocking your view of Doyeon as she regards your not-boyfriend as Jungkookie. “My cousin’s a bit of an airhead,” her tone is sweet and jesting, the backhanded jab going right above Namjoon’s head. 
“I’m just hungry,” you say, forcing a tight-lipped smile. 
“Well, that’s perfect,” Namjoon clasps his hands together, “Yeonie and I were just about to go grab some dinner. Why don’t you join us?”
Doyeon and you both reply immediately, “That really isn’t necessary—” 
“Nonsense,” you don’t even have the heart to be upset at Namjoon because he looks so damn genuine, “It’s been two years and I haven’t even bought you a meal, y/n. After all, we’re going to be family at the end of the month.” 
“Right,” you answer reluctantly. 
“We’re gonna make reservations at the Cheesecake Factory,” he pulls out his phone, ready to make a call, “but you and Jungkook can finish shopping, okay? The wait will be a little long but by the time you’re done our table should be ready.” 
You and Jungkook wave off Doyeon and Namjoon as they make their way to the restaurant. Your hand is caught in the air by Jungkook, who regards you with worry in his eyes. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you looked spaced out,” he says, “tell me what you were really thinking.” 
Subconsciously, you squeeze his palm for comfort. “I don’t know, it just feels weird knowing Namjoon doesn’t seem to know you at all. Normally Doyeon loves to talk shit about her exes.” 
Jungkook scoffs easily, “I mean, if she’s marrying the guy I’m sure she doesn’t want to let him know the details of how they ended up together.” 
“True,” you decide to let it go, and follow Jungkook to the register to pay for his swim trunks. 
“So,” the little ‘ding’ of the register opens up the money box, and Jungkook quickly hands the clerk his cash, “we’re having dinner with them after this?” 
“Only if you want to.”
“We need to, right?” Jungkook thanks the clerk, holding the bag in one hand and threading his fingers through yours as you head out the store. 
“Well, do you want to?” you ask again. Jungkook stops the two of you on the sidewalk. It isn’t a fast stop, but a slow down that makes his walk a little more thicker, more deliberate as he trudges you down the lane. You move in front of him, clutching your hands between his. “Are you okay? You barely even acknowledged Doyeon.” 
“I’m fine,” you flinch at his harsh tone, and he immediately moves to remedy it by squeezing your hand back. “I’m sorry. It’s just been awhile and I’m definitely over her but,” he bows his head, feeling embarrassed, “she hurt me, you know?” 
Going into this is definitely one of the more selfish plans you’ve put your mind to. Your heart pangs thinking about what must be going through everytime he sees her. If he’s reminded about all the good times they shared, or how much he’s over thought every single conversation he’s had with her up until this point.
“Of course,” you completely understand, knowing from the beginning that this whole mess would end up with some dicey feelings someway or another. “I’m just thankful you chose to stick by me. And we can talk about it if you’re comfortable,” both of you being victims of Doyeon’s brand of torture, you hope the two of you can at least be friends after all of this is over, “we don’t have to go have dinner with them.” 
“But, Namjoon got us a table—” 
“Namjoon will be fine. We can always have dinner with him another time,” you smile softly, “what matters is that you’re okay.” 
His gaze melts, and you feel his grip loosen in your hold. He regards you with weak eyes, betraying the confidence he held himself to moments before. “Thanks, y/n,” he says, “I really appreciate that.” 
“Anytime,” you reply honestly. “We can go to Cheesecake and order to-go. I can make some excuse about how my stomach hurts and that we should do a raincheck.” 
“Sounds good.” 
“Do you wanna eat at one of our places or eat at the park or something?” you’re already pulling up your phone, checking out the menu. “We could invite Jin too.” 
“The park sounds nice,” neither of you acknowledge the fact that you’re not inviting Seokjin, and for some reason that’s okay.
“Yeah,” you agree simply, “the weather’s beautiful.” 
Under any normal circumstances, you would’ve been friends with someone like Jeon Jungkook, easily. A little part of you wishes that you could’ve met Jungkook first, but Doyeon has better connections than you and always had a good crowd around despite her inner motivations. No awkward exchange happens when you suggest to Jungkook to eat together. Even though you’re not technically dating, the two of you know that eating together is better than eating alone.
And you have to admit Jungkook’s great company. The two of you drive to a reserve nearby, overlooking a tiny lake. Instead of a fancy Italian tablecloth the two of you move your car seats down and set a spare picnic blanket in the trunk. Instead of a candlelit dinner the two of you find some emergency electric tealights in the glove compartment, lighting it up between you two as you dig into your to-go boxes. 
You’re a little envious that so much time has passed by. You could’ve been a little sneakier and made a better effort to communicate with Jungkook when you saw him regularly at family parties, and maybe you two would have a better friendship today. Nevertheless, the two of you mesh like peanut butter and jelly, exchanging conversation that has your cheeks sore from smiling too hard. 
By the time you get to dessert, the moon is out and the stars are floating above your heads. The two of you are at war, fighting with your forks over the last strawberry in your cheesecake slice. After some careful stabbing Jungkook manages to nab it with his fork. 
He almost puts it in his mouth, but instead swipes up some whipped cream to press the last strawberry to your lips. 
“I think it’s working,” Jungkook says randomly as you chew the sweet fruit, “you could see it on Doyeon’s face today. She’s unsettled.” 
“Yeah,” you agree, lying down on the lavender gingham picnic blanket. 
“Do you know why she fights with you all the time?” 
“That’s a question I’ve been asking myself since the dawn of time.”
“I think I know why.” Jungkook looks down at you with his large doe eyes, licking innocently on a spoon of whipped cream. 
“Pray tell.” 
“She’s jealous of you.” 
“No,” you disagree easily, “she’s jealous that I have you.” 
“Bzzt! Wrong,” Jungkook puts his empty container in your makeshift trash can, falling beside you and knitting his hands under his head. You have a little window on the roof of your car, so both of you are able to stare at the navy sky, “she’s always been jealous of you. Think about it. The two of you have similar lifestyles: same career path, confidence, taste, education. But even after all of that? People still like you more.” 
You scoff, hands immediately reaching to fiddle with the frayed corner of fabric next to your fingers. “I don’t think so.” 
“I’ve met all of Doyeon’s friends,” he informs you, “they’re weird. Like yeah, they care about each other on the surface level. But they’re nothing of substance. They’re not like your friends.” 
“Please, Doyeon has everything she could ever want,” you don’t know what kind of complex you have supporting Doyeon’s life, but something deep and insecure wants to separate you two as far away from each other as possible. “Like… she’s Malibu Barbie and I’m Polly Pocket.” 
Jungkook turns to face you, resting his head between his palm and leaning on his elbow. “Do you not think you’re beautiful?” 
“Yeah, but compared to Doyeon—” 
“You’ve always been beautiful to me, don’t you know that?”
You choke on your saliva, feeling small and skittish at the implication behind his words. It’s been two years. You’ve only been friends for two weeks. How can he possibly say that? 
“I uh, saw you once,” Jungkook coughs, and you watch the way his pale cheeks unmatch the moon and instead flit to a crimson hue, “we were at some party and you were wearing this really cute black dress with a white bow in the middle. Doesn’t even matter what party because it was random, y’know? I was gonna go talk to you but Doyeon got to me first and well, the rest is history.” He breaks eye contact with you, unable to handle it. 
You remember that party, vaguely. It was random, some sort of poetry slam in a shady part of town. Doyeon and you didn’t even go with each other, you were with Taehyung and she just happened to stumble in there from another nearby party. You didn’t even know Jungkook was there that night, or how you were a hair's breadth away from meeting him before Doyeon. 
“Don’t ever think you’re lesser than her just because out of all the people she chose to pick on, she chose you. It’s why she never lets you get to know her boyfriends. She’s threatened by you because you’re just as special,” something low sparks in your chest at his words,  “and now that you’ve finally decided to stoop to her level and fight back with a taste of her own medicine, she doesn’t know what to do.” 
Feeling like your body is on a beach and you’re sinking in sand, you soften over your picnic blanket, mulling it over. “Did I make the right choice? Stooping down to her level.” Your voice is quiet, comparable to the chirping birds and buzzing gnats outside. 
“We won’t know until after the wedding,” Jungkook answers honestly, “but I do know I’m sticking with you until the end. We’re friends now, got that? You have no excuse to ignore me anymore.” 
You don’t want to ignore Jungkook, never in a million years. Now you know that you are envious of Doyeon, for having an opportunity to love and care for an amazing person like him. So in a sudden bout of emotion, you roll over to straddle Jungkook’s waist. 
He’s shocked, hands flying to your waist to make sure you don’t wobble off. But you’re determined, and lean down to press your lips against his. He tastes like cheesecake and strawberries, the taste melding with your own as you relish in the feeling of his soft lips against yours. You melt a little when he squeaks, breaking into a soft moan as he reciprocates the gesture. He’s warm and large and he makes you feel safe. Once your brain returns to your body, you break for air. You only pull back a few centimeters, and there’s no way for you to get off because Jungkook has locked you in place. 
“What was that for?” he asks breathlessly. 
“Don’t know,” you’re whispering against his lips, unable to pull away, “just felt like we needed a little more practice.” 
He blinks, before relaxing in a silly smile. “I agree,” he says simply, dipping you on your back so he can be on top the second time around. 
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“We’re in Vegas, baby!” 
Every single terrible comedy movie set in Las Vegas has brought you to this very moment. You’ve always wanted to say that line. Dumping your luggage next to Jungkook’s, you flop on the nearest mattress. Thank goodness you only wore leggings and a t-shirt on the flight, it’s the optimal sleeping outfit after a long day. Feeling something hard and plastic dig into your brain, you hold up the culprit and squeal excitedly. “Look, Kook!” you wave the crinkly confection in your hands, “they put mints on the pillows!” 
Despite your room being a square with two queen beds, the hotel does not skimp on quality. The decor is ornate, the white and gold trim on the doorknobs and metal appliances shimmering beautifully. The beds feel like clouds, as you try to imagine what a cloud could possibly feel like, this is it. 
Jungkook immediately follows suit, ripping off his outer clothes until he’s left in his undershirt and boxers, flopping next to you on the mattress. He immediately opens his mouth when you shoot a mint, catching it easily. “I feel like we’re in a deleted scene of Crazy Rich Asians,” he says, letting the hard mint clink around his teeth, “is this the part where you tell me your family comes from old money and I’m gonna be your sugar baby?” 
“Don’t be so hopeful,” you narrow your eyes, booping his button nose with your finger. 
“I’m just saying, the first class flight threw me off.” 
You giggle, slapping his chest, “No. If that was true, we wouldn’t be sharing a room with my cousin. Sorry you have to share the bed with me, I got the hotel with Jin and he doesn’t want to sleep with you.”
“S’okay,” Jungkook replies softly, leaning closer to make grabby hands at you, “you’re softer.” 
Tentatively, you scooch over so you can lean on Jungkook’s chest. You two have a little time before Doyeon and Namjoon’s combined bachelor and bachelorette party. The past two weeks have been nice—scratch that, the past two weeks with Jungkook have been wonderful. You never cared to measure how much time passed before meeting him, but now that you’ve begun fake-dating, time is the only thing you regard. You’re already beginning to miss him, knowing that in a week, this whole arrangement will be over.
Well, not exactly over. Jungkook says you’ll remain friends after this, but you don’t really want that. You want more, and it scares you to think he may not feel the same. 
But right now you’re snuggling like an old couple, sleeping comfortably between pillow-like sheets and minty breath. Your pretend boyfriend, now your pretend boyfriend with benefits, looks soft and huggable and you want to bottle up this moment forever. You say benefits because, well, the cuddling is an added bonus. Practice practice practice, Jungkook sing songs the words you used that one night under the stars, excuses to seal his lips to your lips. You’ll never argue with that. So when Jungkook’s hand tightens around your waist and pulls you closer, you relent. 
One second, you’re closing your eyes and the next, you’re waking up to Seokin’s wide eyes staring back at you. 
“Eep, you creepo!” you shriek, scrambling away from him. That’s when you realize Jungkook’s missing from bed, the scent of his laundry detergent lingering between the eggshell Egyptian cotton. 
“Jungkook’s in the shower,” Seokjin immediately reads your mind, pulling away so he can unpack his luggage. “My flight just got in two hours ago, you both were out like a light when I arrived.”
“Ugh, I’m really not ready to party.” 
“Doyeon just texted the family group chat. She reserved the rooftop, the party starts in an hour,” he talks mindlessly, rifling through his stuff. Seokjin is fiddling with his clothes, despite the fact that you know Seokjin prepares his outfits days in advance so he doesn’t have to choose. He looks concerned, pulling out a flamingo pink boardshort and setting it down on his mattress. Finally he says, “I’m worried about you.” 
“Why?” 
“Because. It’s clear that you’re starting to fall for Jungkook.” 
The words strike you straight in the place you’re trying to avoid. You’ve been living in a fantasy these past two weeks, thinly veiled by the whole reason you two are together in the first place. Doyeon’s wedding is just around the corner, and what then? 
“I’m not saying that he doesn’t feel anything for you either,” that gets your heart skipping a beat, and you secretly hold a hand to your chest under the blankets, “but do you really want to start off a relationship like this? A relationship all messy and morally objective because it’s built on revenge?” 
“Don’t worry about me,” the words easily fall from your lips, “I can take care of this.” 
“I hate it when you say that,” the words are curt and harsh against Seokjin’s plush lips, “I’m allowed to worry about you, y/n. You know why? Because, because you’re my favorite cousin too,” he bites his lip, walking over so he sits on your side of the bed. “So don’t tell me what I can and can’t worry about. I want you to be happy, I want you to stop holding in this anger you have for Doyeon and move on.” 
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, leaning over to press your cheek against Seokjin’s shoulder. “You’re right.” 
“For the first time in a long time, you’ve finally decided to lean on someone,” and both of you know who that someone is. “I don’t want you to lose him over some petty family issue. You should tell him how you feel.” 
“I will,” you wrap your arms around your cousin’s slim waist in a silent thanks. 
“Am I interrupting a tender family moment?” 
The two of you pull away to stare at Jungkook, leaning against the doorframe that leads to the bathroom. He’s in a plain white t-shirt and the red board shorts that you bought at the mall, cutting off mid-thigh and revealing the bulky muscle underneath. You were right, the shorts do make his thighs look thick. 
Seokjin groans exaggeratedly. “Yes, yes you did.” 
Jungkook immediately goes to replace Seokjin’s spot, and some stray droplets fall fresh from the shower due to his slicked-back hair. “Do you wanna get ready? First party’s soon.” 
“Not really,” you admit, “you’re gonna meet the family all over again.” 
“Second time’s the charm,” he winked, “I’ve already met your parents and everything. Not feeling nervous at all.” 
“Oh, really?” 
“Really,” and the facade cools down a little, “well, maybe a little nervous for your Aunt Lillian. Her stares give me the heebie-jeebies.” 
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Aunt Lillian.” 
“God the two of you get worse every day,” Seokjin has magically changed into his shorts, tucking himself into the bed, “don’t wake me up until we pre-game.” 
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Doyeon and Namjoon don’t skimp on the festivities, although in taste the ideas are Doyeon’s in its entirety. It’s lavish and colorful, with a beautiful infinity pool in the middle decorated with lavender and pink headlights. There’s a buffet table overflowing with tasty food. There’s petal pink champagne overflowing from fountains, decorated with fresh strawberries bobbing around the fizzy drink. 
“I don’t know,” Namjoon and Jungkook have been talking for well over an hour, and it’s clear how well they mesh together. Heck, you’ve accepted that Jungkook may like Namjoon more than he likes you. Jungkook’s eyes sparkle as Namjoon discusses the various genres of rap and hip-hop music, explaining the potency of mature themes in a young community, “but I will say music is like another language, knows no boundaries when it comes to sending their messages to others.” 
You fight the urge to chuckle when Jungkook sighs dreamily at the music theory professor. “Wow, that’s so deep.” 
Getting up from your cabana, you nudge Seokjin, who’s currently flirting it up with one of Doyeon’s bridesmaids. “Hey, wanna get a drink?” you ask, throwing your wrap on the cushions to reveal your strappy red bikini. 
“And chicken tenders,” Seokjin presses a kiss to the bridesmaid’s cheek, bidding her goodbye as he follows you out of the shaded area. 
“Do you two lovebirds want anything?” you stare pointedly at Namjoon and Jungkook. While Namjoon’s eyes stay in contact with you, you can’t help but smile a little more when Jungkook has a hard time keeping his gaze in one place. 
“I think we’re fine,” Namjoon answers for both of them, swirling his beer bottle. “I’ll meet you two at the bar once I’m done.” 
“Sure thing,” Seokjin puts a hand on your back to lead you to one of the open bars. As much as you like being in a handsome hotel with money to burn, nothing beats the fact that your entire family is here to celebrate. The elders have corroborated two cabanas for poker and other games, while your younger cousins are playing ping pong and air hockey on the other side. 
“Namjoon sure is a dreamboat,” Seokjin bemoans, handing you an electric orange drink. You take a sip of it, and bug out when you realize it tastes nothing like alcohol. You’re definitely in for a night. “Like I can hear him wax music thingamajib any day.” 
“I thought you were into that bridesmaid.” 
“A mere diversion,” he sighs, leaning his tanned arms against the bar, “can’t ignore the deep voice Namjoon has, it’s intoxicating.” 
“I’m sure Jungkook would agree,” you egg on. 
“What are you two talking about?” you straighten up when the man of the hour shows up at the bar, absolutely glowing under the sunset. He orders a round for the three of you, and you immediately chug your own drink to get to the next one. 
“Talking about how you’re stealing Jungkook away from me,” you joke, accepting another fruity drink from Namjoon. Damn, this stuff tastes like candy. 
“Oh, never,” Namjoon replies brightly, waving the thought away, “do you see the way he looks at you? Hopelessly in love.” 
Maybe it’s the copious amounts of alcohol, but you feel your stomach flip-flop at the thought of love. You’ve always known what love felt like, the warmth of Namjoon’s cheeks whenever he sees Doyeon, when your mom takes care of you when you’re sick, when Seokjin makes sure you’re not emotionally constipated 24/7. But the thought of Jungkook and you in love? It’s a feeling you secretly yearn for. 
“Right? It’s disgusting,” Seokjin groans with an eye roll, “like, Jungkook wasn’t like that with Doyeon at all when they were together.” 
The slip up has the three of you choking on your own thoughts, staring at each other like the three have just been told you’re on a prank show. But it is no prank, and you look at Seokjin who’s absolutely horrified. 
“Oh shit,” he squeaks, looking at Namjoon guiltily, “did I say something I shouldn’t have said?” 
“I don’t know,” Namjoon replies coolly, “did you?” 
The ominous response gets you going, and you quickly place a hand on Namjoon’s arm, placating him. “They dated, yes. But it was only for a short time and we’ve sorted everything out. Nothing for you to worry about.” 
“Oh,” Namjoon quirks his head, and regards you two with pursed lips. “I’m not one of those guys who freak out over other people’s exes. I’m just surprised that I’ve only heard this now,” Namjoon takes a slow sip of his drink, and despite your drink also being cold and refreshing, you’re absolutely sweating. 
“Well, I’m sure Doyeon didn’t want to worry you.”
At the mention of his future wife, he beams. “You’re right, she’s considerate like that,” and the conversation ends just like that. He holds up his drink to the two of you, and you and Seokjin do the same. With a sharp clink he leaves you two to mull, happily conversing with the next round of guests he needs to entertain for the week. 
“That guy is too nice for his own good,” you shake your head, asking the bartender for your third drink within ten minutes. 
Seokjin leans over you and warbles, “So you’re telling me that Namjoon has no idea that Doyeon cheated on Jungkook in order to date him?” he’s sweating just like you are, following suit to your actions and asking to make his drink a double. 
“I don’t know,” you bite your lip, your teeth worrying the dark skin, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while though. I just don’t want to get involved, you know?” 
“But this is different!” 
“But Doyeon’s family!” 
“And all of a sudden you care about Doyeon’s feelings?” Seokjin gripes back, “it’s not about Doyeon, it’s about the both of them. And if we know something that Namjoon doesn’t, wouldn’t it be in our best interests to warn him before he seals a marriage deal that costs him over a zillion dollars?” he gestures to the extravagant wedding party. 
“But we don’t even have any proof that’s the case,” you frown, “Doyeon could have changed—a little, not a lot—since meeting Namjoon, maybe she thinks it’s best to reveal as little as possible.” 
Seokjin wonders what kind of family he has. One as chaotic as his takes a lot to stomach, and Seokjin likes to pride himself in his strong appetite. “Fine, let’s just keep a close eye on both of them this week. And if anything remotely fishy happens, we strike.” 
“Deal.” 
You return to the cabana alone, with a plate of fries for both you and Jungkook. Jungkook is also alone, laying on the lounge chair with his eyes closed. It gives you a chance to ogle your fake-boyfriend a little bit, reveling in the sight of his toned body. 
Setting down your plate with a sharp rap of the glass, Jungkook opens one eye. “Hey,” he smiles, drinking in your muted expression, “you okay?”
Damn Jungkook for being able to read you so well. “I think so. It’s nothing, really.” 
“Well, will you tell me if it’s something?” 
“Yeah, I will.” 
“So, I do have something to tell you though.” Jungkook sits up, regarding you wearily. “Can you… stand in front of me?” Confused, you shove a fry in your mouth and walk up to him as directed, your back blocking the entrance as you stand in front of him. “Okay, come closer. Now bend down,” you bend your back 90 degrees, and he presses a hand to your shoulder to stop you, “no, no. With your breasts out, just a little—there! Arch your back. Like you’re doing the Sorority Squat.” 
“Excuse me—” 
“The music isn’t even that loud,” he mutters to himself, “no one would need to push their boobs in my face to hear me.” 
“Jungkook, is someone pressing boobs to your face?” 
“Why,” he breaks into a playful grin, “jealous?”
“Not if it’s Aunt Lillian.” 
“Unfortunately it wasn’t,” he twiddles with the drawstrings of his shorts. “It was Doyeon.” 
Doyeon? She didn’t walk by your cabana all day. Heck, she barely greeted you when you arrived with Jungkook. But when Jungkook’s alone is when she decides to pounce? And with what motive? 
“I don’t know,” he’s rambling to himself, “maybe I’m overthinking it. It was only half a second.” 
“Jungkook, I have something to tell you,” you say instead, panic in your features. 
“Is it something urgent?” 
“Well, no but—” 
“Then tell me when we get back to the room,” Jungkook easily pulls you onto his lap, and you instantly heat up when you feel your bare butt press against Jungkook’s golden thighs. “Like you said, we’re in Vegas. Let’s have fun while we can.” 
“Okay,” you tuck your head between his neck and collarbone, reaching to press a kiss to his smooth jawline. 
Relaxing against the plush lounge chair Jungkook feeds you fries while talking about the things he wants to do this week. It’s his first time in Vegas and he wants to make the most of it. He wants to visit all the buffets he sees on Buzzfeed compilations, relax at the pool, maybe catch a show. The thought of spending all week with him and your family is nice, and suddenly you don’t feel so awkward sitting on his lap, and eventually he pulls you between his thighs so you can lay on his chest. 
“And between you and me,” he fake whispers against the shell of your ear, as if he’s telling you the biggest secret, “we’re the hottest couple here.” 
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The next three days leading up to the wedding are relatively uninteresting. 
Uninteresting in the best way possible. On Monday you and Jungkook spend time with your little cousins, taking them to The Adventuredome, one of the resort's indoor theme parks. On Tuesday you and Jungkook go shopping at the outlet malls with your parents, blowing hundreds of dollars on cheap Levis that have your luggage bursting with a new wardrobe. In between all of that Seokjin and occasionally Namjoon joins you two in your buffet journey, hitting up the top spots and filling your tummies to the brim with delicious food. 
On Wednesday, Jungkook brandishes two gold-foiled tickets in front of you, waving them around like a fan. With one finger, he pushes away your Pokémon battle, “I got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,” he announces proudly, “waited in line for an hour.”
You gape, scrambling off of your bed and throwing your Nintendo Switch to the side. “Jungkook,” you marvel, “these are so expensive. How’d you manage to get a show for tonight?” 
He shrugs, “Looked around.” 
“You’ve been impulse buying a lot this week,” you tease, “like really, you don’t need three pairs of the same ripped jeans.”
“This wasn’t an impulse buy,” he says, “I’ve been looking around for shows. Just managed to pick them up today, so go get dressed for our date.”
Did Jungkook just call it a date? Giddy with excitement you throw the covers off, running into the bathroom to get ready. What a surprise, you didn’t think Jungkook would be into spontaneous things like this. 
Seokjin left the bathroom open, so when you walk in the room it is steamy and warm. Your dear cousin is still in the shower, probably waiting for his conditioner to pass three minutes of set-in time. 
“What are you getting ready for?” Seokjin asks over the rain shower.
“Kook got us tickets to Cirque du Soleil,” you chirp happily, looking through your skin care products. 
“I wanna come!” 
“Nope! Jungkook called it a date.” 
“Oh, a date,” Seokjin drawls, putting his head under the water to rinse his hair clean. “Well then, should I vacate the room for tonight?” 
“What, no!” you’ve closed the door, so thankfully Jungkook can’t hear you talking about him. “We’re not doing anything. We’re just two friends who are fake-dating going on a date.” 
“Sounds like a real date, though,” Seokjin wraps a towel around himself to cover all his important bits before getting out of the shower, bumping elbows with you so he can brush his teeth. “Either way, I’ll be gone tonight. It’s my turn to watch the baby cousins. Don’t have too much fun while I'm in their room watching Despicable Me for the millionth time.” 
“We’ll be sure to stop by with some pizza or something,” you tease, a little wiggle in your hips when you vacate the bathroom. 
By the time you and Jungkook are ready, you two are dressed impeccably. Jungkook is wearing one of the ripped black jeans he bought on Tuesday, combined with a white button up and black blazer. A classic outfit with a little bit of Jungkook-themed flair. And to Jungkook’s surprise, you’re wearing the dress that he first saw you in, all those years ago. You’ve gained a little weight since college, but you still fill out the little black dress beautifully, the little white bow in the middle adding a simple yet adorable touch. It took a little sleuthing and searching through your old college clothes, but you were determined to find it when Jungkook reminded you how much you love the design. 
Clearly from the way Jungkook is currently gaping at you like a bloated fish, he loves it too. 
The show is beautiful and colorful, leaving you speechless and in tears by the end of it. Jungkook lets you hold his hand the entire time, feeling a bout of anxiety anytime the acrobats fall gracefully despite the large height. 
Overall, it was a wonderful show, paired with your equally enamouring date. It’s getting harder and harder to distinguish what’s fake and what’s real in your heart, and throughout the night you’re sorely reminded that you should tell Jungkook how you feel. 
But by the time you get to the room your parents are calling you, asking to get their suit and dresses out of the car so hotel service can do a last minute press and dry clean. 
“I’ll be back,” you say to Jungkook, “I need to go get their clothes out of the car. They’re always so forgetful.” 
“Want me to come?” he offers, hand shying away from inserting the keycard in. 
“No, I’ll only be fifteen minutes, tops.”
“So I guess this is this the part where I get a goodnight kiss?” he asks cheekily, leaning on his heels so his tall frame reaches yours. You don’t hesitate to give a short peck to his pretty pink lips. He pouts at the brevity, “that was too quick.” 
“Go inside,” you insist, “the sooner you get ready for bed the sooner I can get ready for bed.” 
“Then more kisses?” 
“Then more kisses.” 
Jungkook breaks into an all-teeth smile, unable to control himself when he dips down and steals a longer, more lingering kiss to your lips. “I had a great time tonight,” he says, mimicking every single teenage rom-com protagonist who’s deeply in love with the popular jock. “Don’t take too long, okay?” 
You nod, pushing him inside, “C’mon, if you stopped talking I’d be back by now!” 
Once the door closes shut, you let yourself do a little dance in the hallway, wiggling your butt and giving yourself a mini-celebration. You quickly text your group chat that you just came back from the Cirque show.
Jimin: what, a date with your fake date?
Hobi: jeon jungcock? 👀👀
Jimin: whaaaaaattttt. U’ve gotta have sat in his lap at least. 3 times since you’ve started this ting
Hobi: i’ve heard things in college… 
Taehyung: u are all gross and i hate u 
Taehyung: but so am i bc im very curious 
Just as you’re about to send a heated reply, the elevator dings, revealing a pissed off Doyeon. She’s bare-faced, in a fluffy lilac bath robe and matching puff ball slippers. You slip in right beside her, making sure there’s a comfortable amount of space between you two. 
“You’re going to the parking garage too?” you ask, eyes lingering on the lit button. 
“Yeah,” she’s looking at her phone, a few stray hairs from her mahogany bun falling onto her forehead, “Aunt Lillian left her medication in the car. I don’t know why she has to send me, I’m busy getting married.” 
“My parents left their formal clothes in the car,” you shrug, “you know, my parents and Aunt Lillian share the same brain cell. Gotta help them out once in a while.”  
The icy silence in the elevator is probably the calmest you and Doyeon have been since you’ve announced your relationship status with Jungkook. You fight the sigh, opting to take out your phone and open some unread messages. 
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: hurry up, the bed’s cold without u 
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You: lool, why do u look constipated 
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: because i am, hurry up. Im bringing ur switch to the toilet and playing on your profile 
You: JEON WAIT YAMPERS AT 5HP GO TO THE POKEMON CENTER U HEATHEN
You tilt your head a centimeter, feeling Doyeon breathing down your neck like Puff the Magic Dragon. You look at her with wide eyes. Her long, slender neck manages to snake its way next to your head, “Can I help you?” you ask amusedly, clutching your phone to your chest. 
“Are you two really together?” she asks, batting her lashes. All this week she’s left you alone, and you’ve been wondering when she’s going to make herself known. It’s a little self-absorbed you have to admit, but ever since Namjoon’s ignorance to Doyeon’s previous relationship, you’ve been on edge. 
“Of course we are,” you spit back, “I love him.” 
And you must be very convincing, because Doyeon’s gaze falters just a fraction. You glare at her, staking your claim. Ever since Jungkook told you the reason Doyeon hates you is because she’s jealous, you’ve started to feel a bit of sympathy for her. Doyeon is beautiful and smart, she has no reason to feel this way. But the brain holds fickle thoughts sometimes, bringing darkness to the mind. 
“He loved me first,” she bites back, lifting her chin. 
“And why do you care?” you laugh tonelessly. The elevator dings open, and you’re met with the open air and concrete of the parking garage. “He may have loved you first, but he’ll love me last.” 
You leave the elevator first, a little pep in your step as you make your way to the rental car to gather your parent’s things. While the words you uttered are white in nature and may not hold any sort of weight to them, it manages to bring Doyeon to her knees, absolutely quaking in the elevator. 
You’re tasting revenge, and it’s sweet. 
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“Okay, you need to leave,” Seokjin pulls away the shot glass from your lips, “I didn’t spend days planning the itinerary for you to mess it up. Bridal party in Doyeon’s suite and the groom’s party in Namjoon’s parents suite.” 
“That’s dumb,” you chastise, crossing your arms, “we’re all meeting at the same club at 10. Why can’t we pre-party together?” 
“Because it’s tradition!” 
“Screw tradition,” you stumble on your heels as you purse your lips at Jungkook, “Kook, when we get married I don’t wanna do a whole boy-and-girl party. We’re equals, right?” 
“Of course, baby,” he cooes, being careful not to smudge your makeup when he presses his lips to the crown of your head. “But for the sake of Seokjin’s sanity, you should probably go to Doyeon’s. It’ll only be an hour or two.” 
You gasp exaggeratedly at the blatant betrayal. He only grins cheekily in response, dipping down to press a wet kiss to your cheek. “Fine,” you cross your arms, snatching back your drink from Seokjin’s grasp to knock it down. 
Leaving the bachelor pre-party pains you considerably. They’re having such a good time joking around the suite, telling each other fun stories and relaxing in chairs as they watch TV. This is your kind of crowd, not to mention that you can peacefully check out Jungkook’s ass in those tight dress pants without any crazy club lights distorting your vision.
From past family party experience you already have a feeling what’s coming for you in the ladies’ suite. 
Loud music pours from Doyeon’s suite, and it’s completely unlocked. The bridal party is raving, ten seconds away from being completely drunk and immobile. The lights are being manually shut on and off like some sort of cheap rager, and you have to tell Yoojung to tone it down before you get a seizure. 
The stench of acidic drinks and the tang of alcoholic air is palpable, and instead of a shot you opt for a glass of peach champagne to slow you down. 
As you walk deeper into the suite, you notice a crowd forming by the balcony. Tapping your cousin Nari on the shoulder, you regard her with a hug and kiss. “What’s going on over there?” you ask, heels not helping you see any better. 
Nari’s all blushy and pink, hiccuping as she gestures to the balcony. “Her maid of honor got Doyeon a very special gift!” 
Managing to weave through the women blocking your view, you fight the urge to gag when you have a clear view of the scene in front of you.
You really don’t understand the purpose of bachelor and bachelorette parties. “One night to be single all over again!” they all say, even though they’re not actually single? Like why does the couple suddenly get one night of forgiveness when you’ve already spent years being in a committed relationship? 
Why is it okay that Doyeon’s dry humping a stripper on the balcony? Her white silk dress is ruched dangerously high, soon close to flashing her family. Aunties and friends and the like are cheering her on, and she flips her head perfectly to all the phones shoved in their faces, making sure to get the perfect angle. 
Fighting the urge to roll your eyes, you turn back in the hopes that your other family members would be willing to have a good old-fashioned tip back with you. 
You squeal when your hands accidentally land on a bare, oiled chest. You look up, mortified at the large man covered in black harnesses. “Hey babe, I’m Wonho,” he says, faking a sultry gaze as he looks at you up and down, “you’re part of the bridal party too? Wanna dance?” 
Feeling naked, you push past him, careful not to get anything on your dress. Wonho? Wonno.
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Jungkook loves your family. 
(Except Doyeon.)
As much as he told you not to worry about him, and he’ll be completely fine when he meets your family, he couldn’t help be a little wary on the flight over. After all, it’s been two years and he didn’t know how things would be different. 
Chaoticism and all, your family is a thing to be cherished. Even though Yoongi has been on mood swings that make Jungkook question his sanity from time to time, and Seokjin is secretly breathing down Jungkook’s back every time he so glances at you, he thinks things are right where they should be.  
But despite all that they regarded him with familiarity, hugged and kissed him like old friends, something is different. They’ve turned over a new page for him. They don’t bring up Doyeon. They ask about his family, his job, his life in the city. They ask about how you and Jungkook met, and how happy they are for you. How happy they are for him.
Oh, how he wishes everything could be different. In another world, you two would already be together. 
He wasn’t lying back at the cabana when he said you two are the hottest couple at the resort, including the bridal party (but don’t tell Namjoon). You look absolutely stunning in your sparkly red dress, accentuating all the right parts and lighting up the whole room. 
When he finds you in the club you’re sitting down with your Aunties, keeping the elders company while the younger ones are flagging down the bartenders. He thinks it’s cute, how well you fit in between them, coddling you like you’re still a child in their eyes. 
“Dear, your boyfriend is here!” your one Aunt yells over the loud EDM.
You lift your head up quickly, giving him the prettiest smile. Your teeth glow purple under the neon lights, and he fights the urge to laugh when he holds out a hand. “Mind if I steal her from you?” 
“Of course, she’s gotta live a little!” 
You pout, a little wobbly but nevertheless still in the right mind as you shuffle out of the booth to meet his awaiting arms. “Hey handsome,” your voice is thick and sweet-smelling, “come here often?” 
“Only when my girlfriend does,” he replies cheekily, hands immediately coming to your butt to smooth out your dress. He shys a bit when your Aunties hoot and holler at his public display of affection, but all he wants to do was pull the hem down a little bit. No way is he going to let anyone get a flash of your goods. 
“Let’s dance!” you take your hand in his, leading him to a comfortable corner of the dance floor. 
Clubs aren’t really your scene, aligning with Jungkook’s sentiments towards the loud generic music and terrible smell. But you’re in Vegas, and he feels that it’s all part of the package to experience the nightlife at least once. He puts his hands on your waist and you giggle like you’re in prom, hands coming to rest on the collar of his button down. 
“Hey,” he says with a lopsided smirk, “wanna make out?” 
 “Sure,” he notices that you don’t even check if anyone’s seeing, and it makes his heart flutter when you don’t hesitate to get on your tiptoes to meet him halfway. 
He’s always hoped for a moment like this, a moment where the room stops spinning and both your minds click into place. It’s almost comical, how he distinctly notes that the music fades once his lips touch yours. The kiss is hot, yet intimate. Even though he makes excuses to kiss you all the time because of practice, it goes to show that you two definitely never needed it. Your tiny hands grip the collar of his button down, bringing you two impossibly close despite the hot air. His larger hands grip at the strings that hold your measly dress together, grappling at any excuse to get to your soft skin. The two of you are a natural when it comes to each other’s intimacy. 
The two of you pull away, mesmerized. You haven’t kissed like that before. He melts under your stare, his thumb reaching to nick off any lip gloss that’s moved in the process. 
Seokjin comes down the floor to haul you both by the shoulders, “C’mon lovebirds, they’re taking wedding shots!” 
The two of you follow your cousin to the crowd of people that is your family, already with their own drinks in hand. Doyeon and Namjoon are sitting atop the bar, making a very loud toast that consisted of a quick “thank you!” and “we love you!” before downing their drinks with their arms linked together. The room is thrumming with excitement for tomorrow’s festivities, and surprisingly, you and Jungkook included. He tucks himself in your body like a puzzle piece, hugging you from behind while he watches Namjoon’s eyes sparkle with love under the neons. 
The nightclub gets a little blurry after that, with the copious amounts of alcohol and shameless actions from your family and friends. By the time it’s twelve Jungkook notices you swaying at a rate that you can’t handle. He knows your limits and knows when you have to urge to pee every five minutes, it’s time to go. With a chaste kiss you leave him at the bar, deciding to make a pitstop to the bathroom before telling Jungkook you want to head up.
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You’re locked in a stall when you hear Yoojung’s voice. 
“Ugh,” she groans, voice echoing through the tiny room. “Jungkook is so sexy. Do you see the way he’s dancing out there? He’s a literal babe magnet, I can’t believe he ended up with someone like y/n.” 
You don’t move a muscle, pressing your ear against the door that hides you. The silly slander isn’t news to you, Doyeon has been feeding her friends all sorts of bullcrap so they wouldn’t bother talking to you. 
“Yeah, Jungkook’s a real treat but he dated Doyeon first. Sounds like she’s into sloppy seconds,” Elly replies, another bridesmaid you’ve met in passing. “But I don’t know, they do look happy together.”
“Please, I’m sure Jungkook’s just using her so he can get one more chance at Doyeon before she ties the knot,” you bristle, the thought of Jungkook still having feelings for Doyeon makes your heart thud painfully against your chest, “like, what a downgrade. Namjoon and Doyeon do not deserve this drama. If Jungkook ever liked Doyeon at all, he wouldn’t have come. Period.” 
You slam the door open, causing Elly to squeal and Yoojung’s YSL lipstick to fall onto the sink. You’re the epitome of relaxation, walking towards the sink to wash your hands. The bridesmaids simply stare at you, unable to formulate a comeback. When you finally dry your hands, you say your next words. 
“Jungkook is here because he loves me,” an act act act. This is all an act. You shouldn’t be this offended because you know it’s all false. “And you’re wrong. It’s not Jungkook that doesn’t deserve Doyeon. Jungkook was too good for Doyeon.” 
And you slam your heels against the tile, stilettos pounding to the beat of the music. Your exit is full of anger and frustration as you ignore the burn in your step and the ache in your heart, flagging the first bartender you see to get you a double. 
Shot for shot, that anger soon melts into guilt as Yoojung’s words sink in. The thought of Jungkook using you to get to Doyeon is terrible, you can barely stomach the thought. But that’s exactly what you’re doing, right? You’re using Jungkook to get back at Doyeon. 
Why did you even want to get back at Doyeon anymore? Why do you have to prove anything to her? If she just continues to push you around, isn’t that more on her than it is on you? 
Jungkook soon finds you after you’ve nursed a few drinks, leaning unceremoniously against a barstool. His eyes widen at your state, and he immediately sheds his jacket to wrap it around your waist. 
“Why did you drink so much?” he chastises, “it’s the night before the wedding.” 
“Jungkookie,” you warble, clutching your stomach, “I don’t feel so good.” 
He sighs, bending down. “Get on my back. Make sure the jacket covers you up, okay?” 
He doesn’t even grunt when you put all your weight on him, feeling like a ragdoll as he hoists you up. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, letting him carry you to your room. Most of the older family already went upstairs to sleep, so none of your cousins could care less when they see you get hauled away by Jungkook. 
You inhale, he smells like sweat and cologne. “I like putting my head between your neck,” you babble, and you feel Jungkook chuckle through his chest, “you smell so nice there. It’s the bestset! Comfiest place ever, ‘specially when m’sleepy.” 
“Are you sleepy now, baby?” You love how smooth the petname falls from his lips. 
“I will be when we get upstairs,” you reply, happy to see the elevator is empty. “I’m just all up in my head.” 
“Is that why you were drinking so much? You said you were gonna stop earlier.” 
“Yeah, but,” you shamefully tuck your head in his shoulder, “I was frustrated.” 
“Frustrated? At who?” concern laces his tone as he struggles to hold you with one hand and fumble for his key in the other. You tighten your legs around his slim waist until the door clicks open, and he immediately walks over to your bed to plop you down. “Babe, are you crying?” he finally has a good look at your face, horrified to see the streaks of tears mixed with mascara running down your face. 
“I wa-was jealous,” you confess tearily, clutching your face in your hands,  “some girls in the bathroom were calling you sexy and that you were only here so you could try to win over Doyeon. I know it sounds ridiculous and you would never do that but. The thought of you getting back with her makes me so jealous and I hate it! I’m starting to feel so guilty about this, all of this. I put all of this on ourselves and I’m ruining it.” 
“Ruining what? You’re not making any sense.” Jungkook places a hand on your knee, crouching down so he can look up at you. 
“I’m ruining us,” you gush despondently, “I’m ruining any potential of us before we even start.” 
Jungkook freezes, hand clutching your knee like a lifeline. The potential of you two together? You’ve thought of that? Jungkook didn’t drink much tonight, so his mind is definitely running on all cogs. 
Coming to a conclusion, he rubs slow, soothing circles on your knee, his other hand reaching up to wipe the tears from your face. “You’re not ruining anything,” he declares firmly, “that’s impossible. I may have agreed to fake-date you because of Doyeon, but I stayed because of you.” 
His heart aches seeing you so upset, and he decides to take initiative to get you out of your clothing and ready for bed. You don’t have any words, opting to let Jungkook take care of you as you try to calm yourself down. He finds a spare t-shirt,  a long one so you’ll be comfortable. He doesn’t bat an eye when he unzips your dress, in favor of balling up the shirt and getting you clothed as fast as possible. He rifles through the bathroom to find your makeup wipes, and he’s gentle when he scrubs up the once pretty makeup you spent half an hour doing. Barefaced and fresh, you look sleepy and ready to crash. 
But before Jungkook can tuck you in, you clutch his arm.
“Jungkook,” you murmur sleepily, “I think I lo—” 
“I know, baby,” he doesn’t want a confession like this, and he’s sure you wouldn’t want it either. You still look a little green and you’re not sober, so he makes the executive decision to pin these feelings for later. “I’m not trying to invalidate you, I promise. I want you to tell me this, all of this in the morning. We’ll talk then.”
“Okay,” you melt in the sheets, pulling the blankets up to your chest. When you see Jungkook move away from the bed, you jolt, “Where are you going?” 
Jungkook smiles, reaching over to tuck you back in, “I left my blazer in Namjoon’s room. I’ll be right back, okay?” 
He walks out of your room as quietly as he can, making sure to close the door slowly. Once it’s sealed shut, he leaps up, giving himself a silent cheer as he bounds down the hall. You like him back! 
The smile on his face is tired but full of fervor as he makes his way to Namjoon and Doyeon’s suite. He doesn’t even care that he probably has to talk to Doyeon to get his jacket back, thoughts filled with the excitement of his requited feelings and going back to his room to cuddle up with you. 
He doesn’t even have to knock when the large double doors swing open. Dumbfounded, he looks down at Doyeon, wearing a tiny black nightie and dangling his jacket with one finger. It’s an outfit that leaves nothing to the imagination, and he feels his neck heat up at the feeling he’s encroaching on an intimate moment. 
“You left this,” she says slowly, a tiny smirk on her lips. 
“Uh, thanks,” he says, making sure not to touch her when he grabs his blazer. 
In her other hand she holds up her room’s designated ice bucket. “Could you also get me some ice, please? Namjoon’s fast asleep and I really don’t want to walk out all… exposed.” 
He swallows his sigh, knowing it’s going to take significantly longer to get back to you when Doyeon drawls like this. “Of course,” he replies tersely, “after all, you are the bride.” 
“Thanks, Jungkookie.” 
He makes quick work of getting Doyeon the ice, pumping his long legs down the hall. The ice room is cold and cramped, barely enough for his tall frame to fit in. He jabs the container in the holder, pressing the button ten times per second to get as much ice out as possible. 
As soon as he turns around with the ice, he drops the whole bucket. 
Like glass, it shatters onto the ground, hundreds of little clear pebbles skimming across the floor like marbles. Doyeon’s pushing Jungkook against the ice machine, freshly manicured hands splayed across his chest. Her body is flush against his, making sure that he feels all of her with her thin silk gown. 
“What the fuck, Doyeon get off of me!” a little part of him hopes she’ll come to her senses on her own so he doesn’t have to put his hands on her. 
“C’mon, Kookie,” her voice is a sickly candy sweet, her eyes wide with hunger as she takes in his form, “just one more night, you and me. Like old times. One more night before I tie the knot.” 
“You’re crazy,” he balks, running his hand through his hair, “this is sexual harassment, do you know that?” 
“You don’t mean that, Kookie,” Doyeon dips a red-tipped nail down his chest, “why settle for someone like y/n when I’m right here?” 
He grabs her wrists, firm. She winces at the contact, but doesn’t say anything when Jungkook delivers her a scary glare. It gets her quiet, fearful of this version of Jungkook. Doyeon’s never seen Jungkook like this before, so unwilling to bend at her whim and emanating all his power against her. 
“Why settle for your cousin?” he whispers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “because, I love her.” 
Her lip curls in disgust, nails digging into the palm of his hand. “But you loved me first.”
“And I’ll love her last,” he spits pack, letting go of her. His anger splits for a brief second, regarding Doyeon with sorrow, “this is low, even for you.”
Jungkook pushes past the ice, wobbling out of the ice room. He doesn’t look back, he just knows that he needs you right now. He needs to tell you everything, figure out a plan to cancel the wedding or something. 
But when he crashes inside the room, you’re dead asleep. He can’t find the courage to wake up Seokjin as well, who returned and is sleeping in his club outfit. He groans, feeling useless as he stares at the two of you, ignorant of what just conspired ten minutes ago. 
And Namjoon, what is he going to tell Namjoon? Poor guy doesn’t deserve any of this. 
Walking up to your side of the bed, he tucks your loose hair behind your ear. You look so peaceful now, so beautiful. 
It’s just going to have to wait until the morning. 
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The morning of the wedding, you wake up alone. 
The first thought that runs through your head is that Jungkook has rejected you. The little, insecure bug that will never go away in your brain fills you with rash thoughts. He’s on a flight half way back home and he regrets this whole week. 
But after that exaggeration, you notice two aspirin and a bottle of water on your nightstand, along with your phone that’s fully charged. 
You pull up the screen to check the dozens of messages that flood your app. 
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: morning babe, im sorry i had to leave early. Namjoon showed up at our door freaking out that his suit is the wrong fit and shade. Now im running around vegas trying to find a replacement that doesn’t look like an elvis presley extra
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: but i didn’t forget what you said last night, i promise! Just go get ready and i’ll meet u at the chapel outside the resort. 
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: i also have something to say to you
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: wow i didn’t realize how ominous that sounds. Dw, everything will be fine
When someone tells you something will be fine, it’s a universal agreement that no, things will not be fine. 
So you get dressed, and put on your makeup mindlessly. You don’t really know what to make of Jungkook’s cryptic message, but you decide to leave those thoughts in the back of your mind as you go to the other rooms to help your family get ready. 
Seokjin is busy tying the ring bearer’s tie, looking handsome with his slicked back hair and polished grey suit. “Morning, cousin,” he sing-songs, “you look beautiful today!”
You smooth out your dress, a cascading silver number with starry sparkles. You feel like you’re living out your magical girl fantasies, wrapped up in layers of tulle and a sparkly sweetheart bodice.
“Right back at you. Say, you didn’t see Jungkook this morning, did you?” 
“No, but I heard he’s with Namjoon hunting for a new suit. Why?” 
“Nothing,” you lean against the guest table, “he just said something really ominous over text.” 
“I will never get a peaceful day so long as I’m in this family,” he says this directly to the ring bearer, a toddler who’s obviously confused at his uncle’s weird sayings. 
Your phone beeps conveniently, displaying Jungkook’s name. 
Jeon Jung-boo-thang: just got his suit. We’ll be there in fifteen. Meet me at the garden behind the chapel, please. It’s urgent 
Now you’re just worried. So you tell Seokjin your sentiments, and that he should have his phone on hand in case you needed him. With a confused nod, you leave him to go down to the garden.  
The groomsmen and bridesmaids are already at the chapel taking pictures. Only the wedding party is really allowed at this time, but you manage your way through the gardens virtually undetected. Jungkook’s already waiting for you, hiding under a white gazebo overlooking the hotel’s fountain. 
He looks gorgeous in his all black pinstripe suit, hair pushed back and pants fitted perfectly around his waist and thighs. When he sees you he gets up, full of skittish energy. You note that his hair isn’t even styled, only washed and curling slightly at the ends, as if he’s in a rush.
“W-wow,” he marvels when you rush up to him, “you look gorgeous.” 
You drop the handful of silver tulle, letting it fall to the floor. “Jungkook,” you clasp his hand in both of his, guilt flooding your eyes. You’ve been thinking about this all morning, and you need to cut to the chase. Jungkook tries to open his mouth but you silence him with a finger on his lips. “I can’t—I can’t do this. I know this sounds really stupid and you probably don’t want anything to do with me after this, but I shouldn’t have made this elaborate scheme,” you bite your lip, feeling even more antsy as Jungkook squirms in his grip. He however, is trying very hard to focus with his eyes, confused at your sudden confession. “I like you, Jungkook. I don’t want to parade you around like a revenge plot anymore, it isn’t fair and it’s wrong in so many ways—” 
“That’s great,” he says simply, brown eyes swirling with thoughts, “um, ditto. But—”
“Wow,” you frown, “I pour my heart out to you and this is what I get?” 
“It’s great that you want to be selfless right now,” Jungkook takes your hand, firm and tight, “but without this elaborate scheme, we wouldn’t be saving asses like we are right now.”
“What are you talking about?” You thought Jungkook rushed you down here so you could talk about each other’s feelings before the wedding. 
“Doyeon just threw herself on me last night. I got her ice and she took that as an invitation to seduce me like an episode of Sex and the City. Namjoon needs to divorce her, like yesterday.” 
Your face then morphs into something dark and ugly, and you fling your whole confession out the window. The thought of Doyeon going as far as throwing herself on Jungkook as a last ditch attempt to get back at you, has you seeing blood red. “What? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner!”
“You were asleep!” he shoots back, putting his hands on your shoulders. He rubs warm strokes up and down your bare arms, “please relax. You’re shaking.” 
“And why didn’t you tell Namjoon when you were driving around all morning?”
“I tried to!” he retorts, hands swinging in the air. You huff when his hands land back on your shoulders, preventing you from running to the chapel to extract Doyeon out yourself, “but he just kept talking shit about how much he loves Doyeon and he can’t imagine being together with anyone but her and I felt so bad! I’m sorry I chickened out. I really don’t wanna be the one to break Namjoon’s heart. I’m just the plus one!” 
You pinch your brows, mulling it over. “Fuck it, let’s crash a wedding,” you declare, “where’s Namjoon and how can we get him alone?” 
Jungkook exhales, a hand carding up to loosen his thin silver tie. “He’s taking pictures with the groomsmen right now. It’s gonna be awhile before we get a chance to talk.” 
“Fuck,” you curse, sitting down on the white bench. Jungkook presses soothing circles on your back. “We have no choice, we have to get to him before the ceremony starts.” 
“You’ll have to get through me, first.” 
Doyeon’s not even in her wedding dress when she strides up to the two of you. She’s in ballet flats with her hair and makeup done, but the only thing she’s wearing is the thin underdress of her actual ball gown, a simple silk negligee that reaches her ankles. You don’t even know how she’s managed to escape the bridal party, especially without her dress. 
Feeling protective, you step in front of Jungkook. “Before you say anything,” you murmur, “I’m not ruining your wedding, and I never wanted to. You’re ruining it because of your mistakes.” 
“Oh, boo-hoo,” Doyeon rolls her eyes, playing with her nails, “I didn’t even do anything wrong, everyone knows that on the bachelorette’s night she can do whatever she wants. Namjoon could’ve fucked whoever too if he wasn’t so faithful.” 
“Namjoon is ten times the partner you are and would never do that,” You’re seeing red, unable to comprehend the complete garbage spilling from Doyeon’s lips. “You touched my boyfriend without his consent, and I will never forgive you for that,” your voice is scarlet, angry and thin. 
“It’s not like he isn’t used to it, I—”
“NO!” the sound that comes out of your mouth has all three of you flinching, and you’re thankful the gazebo is far enough so that the rest of the wedding party is oblivious to your actions. “You’re not allowed to justify yourself anymore, Doyeon. What you did was fucked up, what you’ve done to all of us is fucked up!” You realize now that you didn’t need to get back at Doyeon with a fake date, what you needed was this. You needed a reprieve, a chance to lay down your law. “Jungkook was right all along. You are jealous. You’re jealous and selfish and have no shame. You think you own whatever you set your eyes on, but you’re wrong. We’re not objects, we’re people.” 
You walk up to Doyeon, eye to eye. You jab a hand at her chest, pushing her back slightly. You soak up your cousin’s expression, and you watch as Doyeon’s eyes pop out in surprise at your act of boldness. “So you have a choice here. You can either swallow your pride and leave Namjoon at the aisle quietly and save whatever dignity you have left. Take your pathetic ass on the next flight back home and pack up your apartment. Or, we can start a big scene at your ceremony,” you probably look manic, filled with freshly injected power, “I know Seokin’s always wanted to yell ‘I object!’ at a wedding.” 
“You have no proof,” Doyeon glares right back, taking a step closer to you. Your noses are practically touching, but you dig your heels in the white-stained wood, puffing up your chest and standing your ground. 
“Doesn’t matter,” you bite back, “what matters is that Namjoon will doubt you. Namjoon knows we’d never do anything to sabotage a wedding without a valid reason. Even if you do get married tonight, we have Jungkook’s word and proof of a relationship that overlaps with his. I find this option to be far worse because it’s prolonging the inevitable,” you shrug, “I hope you two didn’t sign a prenup.”  
Hot, angry tears mess up her meticulously done makeup. Black rivers carve through her porcelain skin, showing the feelings that have been dormant since been hidden under a facade. Doyeon’s eyes dart back and forth between the two of you. She’s practically vibrating in combined fear and rage, seeing blurry images and memories and regrets of what could’ve been if not for her self-absorption. And finally, your cousin comes to a decision. 
“I hate you,” she emphasizes each word with the most concentrated of venoms in her tone. WIth one last look at the two of you, she stomps away. Instead of going to the direction of the chapel however, she takes the shortcut back to the hotel. 
Her grave words are unsurprising, but nevertheless disappointing. A thinly veiled smile grazes your lips, sadder than ever as you watch your cousin go. “And I pity you.” 
As soon as she’s gone Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to scoop you up, hugging you tightly as you fight the urge to cry again. “Oh babe, that was really hot. The way you stood your ground? That was amazing!” Jungkook takes out his silver pocket square to wipe the stray tears that threaten to ruin your makeup. “You’re so strong, don’t you know that? You did it and I’m so proud of you.” 
As much as you want to revel in the affection, go back and bed and fall asleep until noon, you can’t.  Grasping Jungkook by the hand, you tug him to the chapel. “C’mon,” you say, “we have to corner Namjoon.”
The groomsmen photos are done by the time you get there. Thankfully, the to-be-groom doesn’t look too occupied. His eyes widen upon seeing you two stumble from the garden of all places.
“Oh, y/n. Jungkook,” Namjoon tilts his head curiously at how winded you two look, equally flushed and out of breath. From your state, Namjoon muses that it must've taken a lot of effort to finally get to the groom unattended, save for a few random family members he’s making small talk with, “The wedding isn’t for another hour but I must say, you two look radiant together. Doyeon always thought you’d end up an old spinster-catlady, but I always told her that you’re too beautiful to be single for long,” he pauses to send the aforementioned man a wink, “Jungkook’s a lucky guy. What were you two doing back there?”
“Uh, things?” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, not wanting to reiterate the fiasco between Doyeon moments before.
Namjoon smirks at the ebony-haired man, “Couple things?”  
You can’t take this needless small talk anymore. With a teary groan, you throw yourself at Namjoon. You hug him tight, and you don’t even care when you feel a slosh of his water bottle sprinkle your hairstyle. 
“Joonie,” you bemoan, “please, please don’t leave me. You’re the best not-cousin ever. I know it’ll be a pain to face Doyeon after today but you’re a strong independent man and when you’re ready Jin is single and ready to mingle—ow! Jungkook! Did you just pinch my ass?” 
“Do you really think setting him up with the next cousin is the best idea right now?”
“I figured a little humor would lighten the blow,” you sulk.
“I’m sorry what—what blow?” Namjoon frowns, pushing you away from him. “Y/n, have you been crying?” 
The tears resurface at that moment, like a kettle on overboil. Namjoon’s face is knitted together, unable to grasp at any conclusion. Namjoon feels something grave is upon the sky as he tenderly brushes away your tears with his thumbs before releasing you. Instantly Jungkook pulls you to his chest, patting you soothingly. As much as you two do not want to be the bearer of bad news, the time is now. 
“Namjoon,” Jungkook says, finding the strength that was previously stuck in his throat, “we have to tell you something.” 
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Needless to say, Las Vegas is very forgiving when it comes to last minute wedding cancellations. 
The whole wedding party, both Namjoon and yours, collectively feels like a whole ice bucket has been dumped upon your families. You would like to say that the whole issue was handled mess free, but that would be a bald-faced lie. 
There was screaming, crying, hysterical laughter from all sides. Doyeon’s parents were of course furious, embarrassed, unable to calm down a hysterical Doyeon as they haul her on the next flight home. You have a feeling they won’t be showing up to family events anytime soon. 
Namjoon’s family leaves quietly, frustrated, but classy. After all, they know at the back of their heads they dodged a bullet. Everyone leaves except Namjoon however, who isn’t quite ready to go back to his and Doyeon’s apartment. Namjoon invites Seokjin and some other close cousins to stay in his suite until their flight tomorrow afternoon, wanting to be surrounded by close friends and (almost) family. 
As for your family, they decide to find the silver lining. While the chapel was able to cancel the wedding, the reception wasn’t as easy to sway. At the very last second, your grandparents decided to make use of the reception and renew their Golden Anniversary vows instead. The ceremony will be a quick, sweet affair. At this very moment, your cousin Yoongi is getting officiated online. 
And for you? You’re in the place where you’ve wanted to remain all week. A fluffy hotel bed wrapped up with your not-boyfriend. 
Or? 
Would a not-boyfriend be snuggling against your chest like you’re the softest teddy bear in the toy shop? Would a not-boyfriend be hooking your leg atop his lap, forcing you to latch onto him so his hands can roam freely against your soft thighs? 
“We have to get ready for the wedding,” you whine against his hold, to no avail when he only holds you tighter. 
“But your grandparents are already married,” Jungkook whines right back, nuzzling his nose in your head. “This is like an afterparty fifty years later.” 
“I wanna get dressed,” you insist, pushing yourself up, “and we still need to talk.” 
Without Seokjin staying with you, the hotel room feels much bigger and freer for the two of you. Your clothes are scattered on the floor, uncaring of any wrinkles or smears that would get on the delicate fabric. 
All that matters is that Jungkook is still here with you. Doyeon’s wedding is called off, but he’s still lying in bed with you. You want to burn this image to memory, and keep it forever. Jungkook laying in only his white undershirt and boxers, looking at you dreamily as if he’s still in nap-mode. Hair that was previously windswept and exposing his forehead is now out of place, fluffy and sticking out in all directions. His cheeks are flushed with coral-colored warmth, and a little puffy because you two have been sleeping most of the afternoon. 
“Right, talk,” he repeats, letting you hand him his black button up so he can clothe himself. 
You throw off your shirt somewhere behind you, not wanting to face him as you walk to the full-length mirror. “So, I think my feelings for you are pretty clear and out in the open…” 
“Same, I think I made it pretty clear as well.” 
“What? You turn around, looking at where he’s still half-covered in bed. “You did not. I distinctly remember almost confessing my love to you last night. And then this morning, only for you to cut me off and say ‘that’s great’.” 
“Oh,” he stares at the white sheets that cover his lower half. “I guess I didn’t then.” 
You smile wryly, turning back to face the mirror so you can slip into your dress that’s been pooled around your ankles like a silver halo. “Maybe you thought it in your mind and forgot to tell me.” 
That seems about right. Jungkook has a tendency to be a little too passionate for his own good, windswept in thoughts and feelings until they consume him. He hops out of bed, walking only in his dress shirt and socks as he makes his way to the mirror. “Then let me do all the talking,” he says softly against your neck, hands on your hips. 
You shiver when you feel the cold silver of the zipper whirr up your body, Jungkook’s large hands splaying across your back to smooth out the waistline. 
“You of all people would know that being with Doyeon is a trip,” he chuckles into the crook of your neck, “I thought that was what love felt like. Being codependent, jumping through hurdles, trying so hard to please someone who can’t be pleased.” 
Jungkook’s hands wrap around your waist, hugging you tightly. He squeezes you and holds you like the most precious thing in the entire world. Through the mirror, you two are quite a pair. 
“But with you, I never knew love could be like this, feel like this.” 
“So… are you saying you love me?” you fight the urge to bounce around in his grip, the biggest smile on your face.  
“You really just want me to say ‘I love you’ and be done with it, huh?” 
Within seconds he’s pulling you from behind, whirling you around to the edge of the bed. He manages to flouce up your skirts to billow around his lap, sitting you down on his bare thighs. 
“You look like a cupcake, all sprawled up like this,” Jungkook says cutely, peppering kisses in a trail from your chest all the way to your lips. “You look like a huge, silvery cupcake and I love you. It’s so easy to love you.” 
Maybe it was kismet that Jungkook didn’t get to you first all those years ago. Maybe the right time is right here, right now. 
“I love you, too,” you say happily, dipping down to press a long, passionate kiss to his lips. He tastes like love and a happy future. When you pull away, you encapsulate his face in both your palms, regarding him like the sun and stars. “But you know, if we date you’ll never get away from my crazy family.” 
Jungkook snorts, pressing his forehead to yours, “And miss Yoongi re-marrying off your grandparents tonight, the next year of Seokjin and Namjoon running circles around each other, and a lifetime of happiness?” his hands snake under your dress, finding purchase in your soft skin, “not a chance.” 
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4dtk · 3 years
Text
NCT DREAM: s/o likes using expletives/sounds while doing mundane tasks
anon: “hello! Can i ask an nct dream reaction to their s/o making lil sounds. I have a habit of making sounds when moving, for example when i scoot over to someone i’ll make a sound like “chukuchuku” and when i jump off a couch i’ll say “pong!” or “weee!” tysm!!” hi anon!!! so glad you decided to request! haven’t written for nct dream for a hot minute so i hope it’s okay!!
i used a lot of laugh/laughter/smile in this one LOL SORRY ABOUT THAT ;; i’ll put it under a cut bc it’s really long!
→ MARK honestly i think mark would just giggle. definitely. that man’s giggle machine never runs out wtf. anyway, without fail he usually breaks into giggles at the sounds that you make. when he becomes used to it, he’ll just smile to himself and continues to do what he’s doing, knowing that you heard his noise of mild amusement. mark’s made it clear that he loves it, but sometimes he laughs a lot that you’re conscious of it. when you do get insecure about it he doesn’t hesitate to let you know that it’s one of his favourite quirks of you!!! i also can honestly see him taking inspiration from ur sounds to include as adlibs to his songs ngl LMAO. 
“yo… can you say that again?” mark says enthusiastically, bringing in his portable recording mic so he could take down your unique sound. you roll your eyes with a smile, pushing out a few more sounds that mimicked the one before the click on mic goes off. your jaw drops, “you didn’t tell me you were already recording!” that prompted you to smack him, causing the endless fit of a laugh-fest you always caught yourself in when you’re with mark.
→ RENJUN fond smile fond smile fond smile!!! renjun loves it when you exclaim out when you leave the couch or have to manoeuvre around something to get somewhere. he likes showing affection to you no matter where you phrase you exclaim, although it’s not that showy. if you happen to do your sound at the dining table some of the members will know for sure that renjun will take your hand under the table or wear a lovesick smile that all of them know too well. renjun has the sweetest words for days too looooord, only if you’re alone tho and wants to know more about your habit and how it came to be??? if that make sense!
the familiar grasp of his hand doesn’t faze you, shooting the man a sheepish smile over the table as you feel his thumb graze over your skin. “renjun, bro, i’m happy for you and all, but i think they can’t eat if their dominant hand is being held,” you hear haechan call out, making the table erupt into light laughter. renjun ignores him but fails to ignore the blush on his cheeks, threatening hyuck with a raised hand as a joke. he doesn’t care about the others, though, when he sees the wide smile on your face and feels the squeeze of his hand in yours.
→ JENO you know how he like has that “hhmnnnmh?” sound. idk how to explain it but the thing that he always does whenever one of the dream members do or say some weird shit. yea he’d do that. the first few times were out of genuine confusion, but as jeno became more used to your sounds and exclamations, he hummed out mostly as a reply to it. the atmosphere would go silent a little as he stares at you with his big, deer-caught-in-the-headlight eyes, and he holds that stare with you for a good 15 seconds LOL. def challenges you by wiggling his head around and then ending up tackling you to the couch or bed. if you’re sitting at a table the most he’d do is to probably land a kiss on your face after teasing you. mans just looking for an excuse to kiss you tbh.
“hhm?” jeno perks up to look to you, head tilted at an angle as you move closer to him at the dining table. his feigned surprise expression switches into a smile as he inches closer to you, ignoring your protests until there’s no more space left. jeno lets out a raspy laugh, lips coming into contact with your temple as the playful nature subsides.
→ HAECHAN the first time you do it, he lets out a dramatic gasp: hand to his mouth, jaw dropped etc. he’s a drama mama but you brush it off with a shove to his shoulder. hyuck def matches your energy like jaemin does but it’s mostly at the expense of his usual whines and pouts. you do it one time and the man does it ten times over. in no time he’s already cuddled up way too close to you with an arm around your waist and his head snuggled into your neck. he loves it when you say your phrases bc then he can exclaim something on his part like “very cute! but i’m cuter!” and you’d have to smack him or something. he dissolves into a fit of giggles along with the usual teasing, but other than that he likes communicate his fondness of your habit through physical touch.
moving around the project you had just bought wasn’t difficult but you couldn’t help the phrase that came naturally each time. “can you make that sound too when you’re riding-“ you don’t waste any time to land a mild slap on his forearm, gaining a laugh from your boyfriend who casually stated it during your movie night. your glare speaks tons, but haechan doesn’t care as he’s all smiles into your hair before continuing the movie. you, too, relax, knowing it was all fun banter that made your time with him all the more enjoyable.
→ JAEMIN oh my god jaem would match your energy 100%, even if the energy isn’t that high as he usually portrays himself in nct videos. with you, he’s a bit more reserved and kept to himself, but he likes it and you like it, too. when you’re moving past someone and make a noise he echoes you in the same manner you said it. and then the smile that comes after? omg 10/10!! beautiful smile!! jaemin just melts at your silly habit and the widest smile spreads across his face tbh. if you’re saying it while you’re alone with him i can see him just laughing and giggling at the words you manage to exclaim, cooing over how cute you are in his arms. jaem best boy
the ring of jaemin’s laughter fills your ears as your butt scoots closer to him, engaging him in the same fun sounds that you frequently make. jaemin repeats it in an exaggerated way, shooting you the biggest grin before pecking your forehead, “ah… why are you so cute (y/n)…” you easily nuzzle into his embrace, relishing in the warmth of his natural body heat and the arm around your waist.
→ CHENLE would counter your sound with a weird sound of his own. i know jaemin makes weird sounds but this man is on a whole other level PLSS. if you’re feeling playful you would reply and this feud of some sort would just continue until one of the other members ask you two to shut up, which would of course result in chenle’s recognisable dolphin laugh. even if you’re a little tired, i feel like the energy would still be up a little, so expect some prodding at your cheek or sides and kiss attacks from the mans. he would definitely coo, but not in the cheesy, cutesy way jaemin would. chenle has a more teasing and outgoing nature to him. it’s relentless and you’d have to stop him at some point but he’s making you laugh and having such a good time so you admire him instead.
the shrill sound fills your ears, responding to your phrase with one of his own. when you reply, he does it too, which prompts you to sigh in resignation at his endless energy. chenle catches on, but doesn’t press on further, instead entertaining you by giving you endless pecks on your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your lips. you name it. the laugh he had, now, was more muted, liking the way your sounds of mixed protest and joy meant the opposite, “hey stop! baobei, you’re messing up my hair!”
→ JISUNG the poor boy would jump a little, but he finds himself being able to connect your actions to the sound you would make. i think the only time he would be really started was if you exclaimed a new phrase or if the action itself takes him off guard. like almost colliding with him in a hallway or popping up behind the fridge. jisung would have the littlest hint of a smile on his face, although he tries not to show it that much. i feel like he also would chuckle to himself quietly. he likes the quirk a lot that he finds himself thinking about it from time to time and even picking it up for fun one day. it felt so natural to do it that he just started to do it, too. maybe not as often as you do though! he usually cringes at it tho LMAO he doesn’t know how you make it sound so endearing. his reaction would be also just be a moment of “omg that was so cute, i love them so much”
as you land on the sofa with a sound spilling from your lips, you don’t miss jisung’s flinch at your appearance. “that one’s new,” his eyes are wide, but it eventually melts into a smile. he naturally leans back as he accepts the defeat shown on the television screen, but you don’t miss a beat to snatch the controller from him, going ahead to play the game in his stead. as you curl up by his side, you quickly beat your boyfriend at the level as his arm curls around your torso cautiously. jisung can only smile in the moment, finding that it was reaching his ears when you tease him again about the easy level.
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lvlyhao · 3 years
Text
『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』
reaction fic; NCT Dream
A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.
note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so
just dont mind it pls
also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.
𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (☼), crack (⍢).
𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.
word count: 6.8K
pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Mark
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oh, poor baby
i feel like he would be a little heartbroken 
just a little
not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,
boy might cry
he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself
so he might think like
“do they think he’s cooler than me?”
and it’s silly, yes, he knows
but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up
so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased
because gods know i am
at least when it comes to 127
mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”
and
“a h”
<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>
would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just
showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways
complimenting you
being even more whipped than usual
like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again
i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing
and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt
we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose
but we also know he’s johnny
cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”
so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)
just to see you giggle 
(and see your soul leave your body)
might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol
and winks
expect a lot of winks
anywhere and anytime
which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???
and that you appreciate johnny more than him???
he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias
don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol
his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho
now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant 
he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever
and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™
but he’s not 100% aware of that
and you’re not that dense 
so ofc you notice
and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant
he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything
he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes
which is fine by you
and by him
cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time
and hugging him
and kissing his cheek
and praising his work
and blowing kisses from across the room
and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him
(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)
THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN
COMMUNICATE
Renjun
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wym donghyuck is your bias lol
literally are you fucking kidding him
don’t get me wrong ok
everyone knows renjun loves haechan
they’re bffs and could not live without each other
but at the same time,,,
what is wrong with you
who did he choose as his s/o gods help him
if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,
literally ANY of his other members
he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”
but haechan???? hmmm bestie no
he’s not gonna throw a fit
not after the first time you told him anyways
HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY
and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke
<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>
if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck
for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage
BACK ON TRACK
would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind
and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it
he doesn’t even flirt with you
he just
constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you
“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”
(pause for injun to punch him)
(unpaused)
and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two
haechan won’t let either of you live
and renjun just wants to
fight
so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it
except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering
ANYWAY
your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”
while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just
“bro why are you like this”
“bro”
no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that
he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know
he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are
but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???
he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others
so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice
or better dancing skills
or he looks better
he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—
the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago
he was fine with being him
but not so much when it came to that
i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him
and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too
not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again
hyuck never meant for things to get out of control
he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,
teasing
he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well
don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out
injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging
and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,
art
sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him
and talk about his fantastic animal creations
and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like
hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...
and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side
and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)
but then,,,,,,
wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE
(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)
and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded
and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other
but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage
and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him
i’m kidding
or not
Jeno
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ah, lee jeno
aka samoyed boi
yes i do call him that no i will not stop
everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you
but i just 
don’t see him that way
he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort
so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin
as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol
and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)
jaemin doesn’t flirt with you
not any more than he flirts with
every other breathing creature
ever
he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol
on the other side, he is in love with jeno
basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his
so nothing really changes
we know how nomin are, okay
they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live
it's just them
you gotta respect it bruh
i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else
i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his
and it’s not something big or on purpose
it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework
or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first
even if it’s just three words
“you did good”
and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????
i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance
he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”
his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time
and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence 
(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)
so what if you just
stopped seeing him?
did he become invisible to you?
did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?
he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though
earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???
so we do what we do
bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes
1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)
2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy
so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2
jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does 
literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies
he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right
he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv
jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so
many
vegetables
AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT
but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™
and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent
this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be
maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((
:(((((
writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH
and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do
if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it
turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break
so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising
the first reaction is confusion
the second is oh hey babe how are you
third is
a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??
yes you are and i’m proud of you
so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much
and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and
he’s perfect
and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been
baby boy just needs some rest
and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt
then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him
the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion
after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle
well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol
this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up
make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again
and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy
he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough
Haechan
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haechan = full sun
why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun
does not understand
but also does not care that much
actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is
if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so
much
complaining
and clinging
AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD
donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am
on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,
adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it
ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x
then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented
IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD
i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok
i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you
he loves you both
a lot,,,,
and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him
and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit
lowkey done with you two
but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION
or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)
“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”
pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected
will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up
he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty
will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner
will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes
what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today
oh man, he could swear they did
because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes
no he doesn’t want to impress you
shut up
will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter
every
single 
one
and are they mark’s?
lol no, they’re his
he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult 
<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias” 
“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”
he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad
he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever
cus haechan privilege
and he tends to not care about what people say and think???
bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck
he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people
but you
not biasing him
naw, he can’t take it
will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias
then you can go back to loving (his) mark
so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake
just give donghyuck what he wants
i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do
like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET
“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”
if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty
will actually drop you for mark
his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead
and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on
everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????
<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”
“i’m your partner”
“no that’s mark”
it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to
assert his dominance
and mark is just
“dude
what HAHAHA”
and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby
i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something
like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck
no
“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”
“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”
“yes i know”
i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal
with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him
he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too
what am i talking about?
new 127 mv is out
you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks
him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too
this is what a happy couple looks like 
but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl
savemork2021
Jaemin
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nana is just such a chill and fun guy
i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else
and so the two of you become insufferable together
bitch, i’m telling you
he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life
cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”
yes that thing
he’s doing it to your bias 
and you’re doing it too
and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land
PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG
i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine
two fully grown people
pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone
“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE
MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"
i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time
cus individually he can handle it
like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now
or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard
but when you two are together
bruh
a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close
and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun
jaemin loves jaehyun
they’re 2jae
2jae are soulmates
therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???
bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them
they’re too powerful
they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces
so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane
and i mean insane
insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc
they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me
and of course, you had to tag along
but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring
there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao
jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)
but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty
you can bet there are compilations on youtube like 
“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”
ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on
i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else
he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members
bc gods know he does
he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol
one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like
done with people
and needs some time away from everything
we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans
it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained
and he’ll need a break to get his energy back
jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though
i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship
he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too
and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat
and just cuddle him a lot
that will make him a smiley baby again
and then things are back to how they normally are
and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared 
i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura
dotae would be confused in different ways lol
taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????
and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you
<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”
mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him
but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”
resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes
a literal comedian i love him
i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol
chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone
shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)
taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)
ten is not very amused but might play into it
yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)
xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office
haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it
jeno is used to dealing with this at this point
lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming
sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”
this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry
Chenle
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chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao
okay so
he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)
he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him
back to the plot
he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else
b u t
i will say there’s an exception
this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february
you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung
i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon
you had 22 chances not to mess up
and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time
and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—
he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and
hold the fuck up
your bias is his best friend
oH NO NO NO NO NO
i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????
and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along
it’s his sweet, dummy jisung
with his sweeter and dummier y/n
what is he going to do
probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT
kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”
and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind
you know the teasing thing?
well it’s upgrade time
he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done
and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends
he just wants you to like
know who you’re befriending
bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone
and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either
if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—
he’d be so broken
because he loves you so much :((((
so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies
so get ready for it
if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy
so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures
“hey y/n”
“yeah babe?”
“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”
“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”
“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”
“...”
“...”
“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”
yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick
BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH
he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though
so picture this
movie night the girls boys
chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him
and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like
“jisung”
“w-what”
“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”
(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)
and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time
but chenle is laughing
and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes
“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>
and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it
and stop being weird and awkward around each other
lele needs you two to be bros ok
so be bros
once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable
and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension
happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods
and if you don’t adapt to it?
well,,,
i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????
and like what u scared of
jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you
either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental
so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend
then everyone can be besties
i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio
because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them
but now that you���re coming along,,,,
no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)
and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing
you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????
which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you 
we don’t need sm to be on fire
well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point
i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop
bc c’mon guys
he’s chenle
no limits here
but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real
last scenario?
chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right
jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you
Jisung
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it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>
i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like
ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that
he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol
however
i do see him as being quite new to all things love 
i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts
first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….
first time being jealous, yes, focus on that
i don’t think jisung would be aware that like
you not biasing him is even a possibility
cuz you’re dating
doesn’t that come along????
ah poor baby i love him
if you biased chenle i think he’d be just
disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???
he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated
but if it’s another member
ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones
i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence 
you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned
his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him
and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??
what about him then???
and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from
first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you
and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much
and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO
he really respects you and his hyungs 
so no, never
that’s not a thing that can happen
but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?
well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking
probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice
i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung
and they do tell him that
however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you
it’s just that
his hyungs are so cool…
HE CAN’T HELP IT OK
would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like
grasp onto some of his qualities?
so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect
i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???
like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it
i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image
so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???
“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”
“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”
he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to
long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing
when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((
you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance
they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason
please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too
your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too
and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it
actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along
he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like 
127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…
the dreamies
and that, my friend, is terrifying
anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud
of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about
it’s him
“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name
it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’
so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”
jisung would feel 10000000% better
and smiley
and giggly
and oh my god do you really talk about him that much
LOOK HE’S BLUSHING
would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you
and not let go
ever again
the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it 
shut up i’m not crying
---
final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)
if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3
330 notes · View notes
sageinacage · 3 years
Note
Hi! Saw your post about Sap and Tubbo and I’ve missed their dynamic sm so I wanted to send in a request! How about lee Tubbo and ler Sapnap? Maybe Sapnap wanted to see if Tubbo was just as ticklish as he was back then and uses one of his favorite tactics a bunch, raspberries?
Still the Same summary: sapnap wants to know if tubbo is still as ticklish as before, in his own sapnap way. a/n: sorry for the wait :( low motivation bc of personal stuff happening, but im doing a bit better so i wanted to get this out asap! hope u enjoy :D warnings: swearing, sapnap is Evil (/lh) w/c: 1.6k DSMP, Platonic
~
Everyone always says it’s easier to clear your thoughts from a high altitude. Why is that? No one knows, though no one is going to question it either. It’s always nice to enjoy the breeze from up above.
The only problem is, finding that high altitude and then having to climb up to it.
Tubbo closed his home door behind him, glancing around to find some sort of easy-access place he can sit for a while. As the boy walked around, he was quick to notice the gentle breeze that brushed against his cheeks and over his nose.
He sighed, enjoying the perfect weather present on this day, deciding to start walking down the path to town. As he walked, he chuckled as he recognized the spot he was standing at.
The day he and Sapnap had a playful bicker. It involved Tubbo making fun of the demon for miswording something, and a playful fight lasting afterward. The boy chuckled to himself, then his eyes widening.
Thinking about his old friend reminded him of the hill they used to hang out on. The perfect altitude to sit at, might he add. Now walking with intention, Tubbo smiled at the old memories that were unfolding in his brain.
“Here it is, it feels like it’s been years,” Tubbo spoke softly, arriving at the same hill he and Sapnap used to goof off on ages ago. He smiled contently, plopping down on the grass, and leaned against an oak tree that sat on the hill.
He let his head relax back, enjoying the nice breeze brush through his hair and the convenient shade the oak tree provided for him. The people were right, this is a good place to clear some thoughts up.
Meanwhile, a certain demon was also heading somewhere to relax for the day, wanting a break from all the serious ‘bullshit,’ as he would call it. Sapnap looked up at the tree that rested on his favorite hill and saw a figure under it.
He smiled to himself, recognizing a certain ram hybrid settled underneath the shade of the luscious tree. With a mischievous smirk, Sapnap tip-toed up the hill, avoiding any crinkly leaves or twigs along the way, motivated to startle his old friend.
Oh, how much Sapnap missed being so goofy and carefree. It was honestly a natural instinct to playfully mess with Tubbo, almost like how siblings always try to push each other's buttons. It’s safe to say he saw the boy as a little brother.
“Tubbo!” Sapnap squealed, whipping his head around the tree with a giddy smile. “Sap… Sapnap?! Where did you even come from?!” Tubbo gasped, holding his heart dramatically at the sudden scare.
“From down the hill, you goof.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t, why’re you smiling then?” Sapnap sniggered, earning an eye roll from the ram. “Because you’re annoying, and it’s making me smile because of how annoying you are.”
The demon snorted a laugh. Tubbo really was the sassy boy he always remembered.
The two settled underneath the tree together, just catching up. They really needed it, it was obvious on both sides that they both missed each other dearly.
They missed the playful bickering and fights they’d have over literally nothing, maybe a piece of bread if anything. Tubbo especially missed the warm feeling he got while around Sapnap. Was it the feeling of coziness inside of him, similar to the feeling of home you get when you’re around someone you’re genuinely fond of- or was it just that Sapnap is warm because he’s a literal fire demon? Probably both.
All was content and nice until Sapnap had to bring up a redacted memory, one Tubbo couldn’t think about without a wild blush spreading across his face.
“Hey Tubs, do you remember the tickle fights we used to have? Well, not exactly fights since you never put anything up- Ow!” Sapnap rubbed his shoulder where the boy flicked him, a grumpy but obviously flustered scowl painted on his face.
“Embarrassed, are we? C’mon, it’s not like you’re still that ticklish anymore!”
The embarrassed squeak that left Tubbo really just made all the dignity he had left drain away.
“...Or are you?” Sapnap continued, his curious glance turning into a dark grin. “Hey there- buddy, friend, mate- you d- don’t gotta… gotta do it… actually I think it’s getting late and I should be getting home!” Nervous giggles poured out of the boy, shuffling backward on the grass.
Sapnap just shook his head. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere, Tubbo. Not until I get my answer!~”
Oh shit. A surprised squeal left Tubbo as he was wrestled onto the ground, though the boy was strong as well and fought back. “Oh, actually fighting back, are we?~ Now that’s a change!” Sapnap teased, making Tubbo’s body go limp.
‘Teasing makes him go all jelly, got it.’ Sapnap thought with a snicker, looking down at his friend.
“S- Sapnap… dohoHON’T- SAHAPNAP!” Tubbo barked out a laugh, trying to twist on his side away from the prodding fingers on the right side of his ribcage. “Nuh-uh, you aren’t going anywhere, mister!” Sapnap sniggered as he pushed the boy’s hips on the ground, drilling his thumbs into the bones in the process.
A loud shriek left Tubbo, failing to buck Sapnap off of him. He fell limp against the grass, knowing that he wasn’t gonna get out of the predicament anytime soon. Not that he exactly wanted to, though.
“Remember you can tell me to stop whenever you’d like me to, bud.” The demon’s face softened into a more reassuring look, slowing down his tickles. Tubbo nodded, opening his mouth to speak before being interrupted with another screech.
Sapnap’s fingers found the sides of his lower stomach, massaging his fingers into the soft skin. This seemed to be successful, Sapnap found.
“SAP-HEHEHEHAHA- F- FUHuhuck ohohoff!” He continued to squirm, stomping his hooves in the plush grass behind Sapnap. “D’awww, Tubbo!~ That wasn’t very nice, was it? Maybe I should remind you of my favorite tactic?” Sapnap raised an eyebrow, relishing in the immediate anticipatory high-pitched giggles that emitted from the smaller boy.
“Do you remember? I think you do, champ! I think you remember all the nibbles and raspberries I used to give to your cute lil’ tummy- and oh how bad they tickled!~ Are you excited? I think you areeee, I can hear your tail thumping on the grass!”
Note taken; Sapnap was still as evil as before.
“Y- Yohou’re so mehehean!” Tubbo whined, covering his bright red cheeks, his shirt riding up with his arms raising. “Uh oh, Tubbo… Look what I have here! A perfect snack right in front of me!~” The man cooed, dragging his dull claws over the ram’s belly before leaning down and blowing a big raspberry right beneath his belly button.
“SHIHIHIHIT! N- NOHOT THAHAT!” Tubbo shrieked, arching his back up. “Not this? Alright, your wish is my command, champ! Guess I have no choice but to do this instead…” He chuckled slowly before beginning to gently nibble on Tubbo’s lower belly, moving up the side to nibble near his waist.
Fuck Sapnap and his stupid stubble, and his even dumber fangs.
“SAAAAHAP- NONONONOHOHOHO!” Tubbo pleaded, weakly pushing at Sapnap’s head, but the damn thing didn’t budge even a centimeter. “No? Okay!~” He giggled, going back to plant another raspberry over the side of his belly.
Arching his back again, the ram dug his hooves in the grass to try to ease the sensations at least a little bit, but the ticklish stubble dragging around his tummy kept making him go limp. “F- FUHUCK YOHOU- Y- YOHOU’RE SO BAAAHAD!” Tubbo retaliated, yet again trying to twist away but his hips were only pushed back down onto the grass.
“I think you need a little manners lesson, don’tcha think, Tubso?~ N’awww, don’t pout at me, you know I’ll just have to do… this…” Sapnap huffed in a breath, Tubbo squealing in anticipation, but then silence.
Tubbo relaxed his muscles as the raspberry didn’t happen- never mind. It happened.
“FUHUHUCK- PLEEEHEHEHEASE!” Tubbo’s body went completely jelly, the tickling too much for him to fight back anymore. Sapnap looked up, a shit-eating grin on his face. “You were so bold a few seconds ago, what happened? Hmmm?~ Cat got your tongue, Tubbo? Let’s fix that.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around Tubbo's waist so he couldn't buck away from his attack.
Raspberry after raspberry, Tubbo knew he couldn’t handle it anymore. “STOHOHAHAHAP! E- ENOHOUGH!” His voice was squeaky and tickled-out, taking deep breaths as he laid down completely limp on the soft grass.
“You alright there, Tubso?”
“Mahahaybe…”
“Here, let me help.” Sapnap smiled, but it was softer this time- way different than the evil grins he was giving while tickling the life out of the poor boy. The demon laid the ram across his lap, gently carding his fingers through his plush hair.
“C- can yohou… keep gohoing? But- gehentle this t- tihime?” Tubbo stuttered out, Sapnap audibly cooing at the sweet boy. “Of course, it would be my pleasure- seeing how evil I was earlier.” He jested, earning an exaggerated noise of agreement from Tubbo.
He snickered, tracing his dull claws in random shapes over the boy’s belly, letting them graze up and down his sides and back down to circle around his hips. The affectionate light tickles were making the tickled-out boy sleepy, as he curled up in the warm demon’s lap and softly snored as sleep swept over him.
“Sleep well, bud. I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ve missed you, y’know that?”
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neverdoingmuch · 3 years
Text
now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)
wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”
but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere
they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop
when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff
anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?
and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica
he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book
when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake
he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does
like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?
pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.
nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch
wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you
wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin
so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn
wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 
and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)
so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)
wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??
he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.
he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week
wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 
he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)
also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible
by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 
he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing
cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made
(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)
wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot
cue lan wangji
lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 
while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing
lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot
he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do
as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 
he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot
anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 
i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out
they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 
when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university
lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow
they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on
and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 
wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??
anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills
anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!
lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.
regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 
lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??
he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long
after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books
and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time
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aqvarius · 4 years
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Top 5 fav hlitf cgs?
thanks for this ask!! ahh it was so hard to narrow it down to 5 but i will try my best (with some bonuses bc... how could i not). i’m not going to include vip room CGs here even tho there are a couple of them that i adore too. also i can’t believe i’m not including the soma coming out of the shower CG that i love enough to have made my icon for a very long time now... but that just goes to show how much i love these ones. 
5. are you bullying my aide?
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okay so i’m cheating right off the bat and decided to group these two in one category bc they’re like conceptually the same CG lmao. i made a post before about loving instructors getting furious at people trying to hurt you in the sunset. and the fact that two of my absolute fave LIs of all time get these gorgeous fury CGs makes me infinitely happy alskdfls. the sad thing is that there’s an error in soma’s route so the CG doesn’t actually appear in-game...  anyway you know i love seeing cool love interests get mad so these two CGs are a perfect depiction of that.
4. i’ll take compensation
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who doesn’t love this scene and CG!! and the in-game version as well where his eyes are open bc he was surprised. i love it so much. that entire ending was so good, with the mc being the Best Senpai Ever? and she tries to blow his socks off with a kiss but then he just grabs her butt and goes in deeper? we stan a tie-grabbing mc. i only wish there was a CG for that elevator kiss too in the sequel(?). 
3. it reminded me of ugly cat
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honestly i love all of goto’s s3 CGs bc they are all just so pretty and i love the one as well where tsugaru is joking about him and usa being a couple and goto gets pissed. but this one is just so... pure and soft???? it’s so rare to see goto all relaxed and smiley and i just love it soooo much. also does anyone else find that his smile in this CG is so similar to chiba’s smiling sprite? ughhh this is so freaking cute i physically can’t look at it for too long otherwise i get overwhelmed with feelings. oh and also that cat is so weird looking lmao
2. please... let me be with you
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one of my favourite moments of all time. look how stunned kaga looks (but also... how pretty is he here... and how pretty is she.... season 3 CGs are so top quality). the fact that she’s hopped up on painkillers but they’re just fading off so she’s already starting to feel pain again and kaga is already kind of angsting over everything that happened on the case and then tsugaru is taking her home while kaga can’t even speak to her bc of office rules. and she just runs back to the office by herself even tho she’s already starting to feel the pain in her gunshot wound and just bursts into the office and yanks his cigarette out of his mouth and kisses him? and says even if you don’t want me, i want to be with you. honestly this whole moment is like freaking kdrama level dramatic and romantic and i love it so much. it’s like... the perfect moment combined with the prettiest CG. kaga’s pov of this scene makes it EVEN BETTER because he’s literally smitten with her, like he wants her so badly and then she just magically appears in front of him and kisses the life out of him, just as he was thinking about how much he needs her. right at the moment when he’s feeling the most empty, the most hollow, like his entire career in public safety amounted to nothing, she comes back to him. and then there’s that line of his, where he talks about love so fierce that he can’t breathe around it filling his chest and honestly it gets me every single time (also bc i can relate to that feeling lmao) but basically kaga/mc is my favourite couple and this moment and CG are just like... exactly what i love the most about them as a pair. ALSO i love her hair and that gold pin hahaha i want it. 
1.5 did i or did i not say you were forbidden from acting rashly?
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how could i not include this one as a bonus? i’ve been in love with this CG from the very first time i laid eyes on it back in 2018. no context (at the time i think soma’s graduation hadn’t even come out in l365 so we hadn’t even seen his short hair sprite in the intl app), no idea what was even happening in this scene, and yet i was immediately struck by the dangerous look in his eye and that little smile, and also just like... getting to see him in a tshirt and hoodie is so rare? i’m p certain that outfit is just recycled ayumu sprite’s casual clothes. anyway, knowing the context behind this CG makes it 10000x better for me. i wrote this in my unpublished review of soma’s battlefield route but i genuinely believe we’re seeing this CG from his mc’s eyes and that’s what tokito really looked like in that moment - with soma’s face, his hair, his expressions, his hands, his voice. our poor, sweet mc had been suffering for so long to the point where even toru and ayumu noticed that she hadn’t smiled in forever and were trying to cheer her up (and momose too later!!). for me, this CG represents the absolutely heartbreaking sense of delusion that soma’s mc feels in this route, and the way that she keeps trying so hard to project soma onto tokito because of her grief. i genuinely felt like in that moment, she physically saw soma coming to her rescue, like her desires manifest into a delusion. also, this CG comes at an absolutely amazing time bc we had been deprived of seeing soma for like 60% of the route and then we get this CG and suddenly everything is better for a short moment, and then everything goes back to normal and you really get a sense of how upsetting life has been for his mc.
1. come now, love. tell me what you desire
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i love this CG. i love it so so so so so much. firstly, i love the look of it. both soma and his mc just look so attractive?? soma’s muscles?? in his shoulders and back especially?! his mc has commented on his shoulderblades and back muscles before which have been honed through kendo practice so i’m very happy to get to see them. the actual text says that the mc is naked but here she’s still wearing a sundress, but she just looks so pretty and like she’s feeling unbelievably good? anyway i scream bc even soma’s hands look good and they still kept that one piece of hair that he has that sticks up lmao what’s gravity anyway? anyway, beyond the sensuality of the image (and also his tongue... and his sweat...), there’s just so much meaning behind it? like yes, it’s very hot and sensual and the dialogue that goes with this scene is unbelievably sexy, but this scene is just super meaningful bc it’s part of their recovery as a couple. they’re on this secret holiday in okinawa and they’re reconnecting after their trauma and idk it’s just so intimate. we really get to see the mc from soma’s eyes and we get to see how he is the only one who can see her weakness behind that strong face of hers, but also how he sees her strength in recovery? the way he describes that scene where she’s in this gorgeous white swimsuit with a sheer coverup and then picks a brown swim float so she can sit atop it on the waves and say “don’t i look like a doughnut?” despite having a literal near-death experience in the sea not too long before honestly had me falling head over heels in love with her, and it really made me understand exactly what he loves about her, and how much he just adores her. anyway this is me gushing over that special story, but what i mean is that the ending of his battlefield in combination with this special story sets up the beginning of soma and his mc’s healing as a couple, and it culminates in this scene. soma is kind of similar to kaga in the sense that they both actually demonstrate their feelings the most honestly through physical means, and here you can just see how palpable the desperation is. they desire each other so intensely and intimately and having this moment for the two of them to share is so significant for their recovery. you can just see how much soma needs to show her that he’s here, he’s really, physically here with her, and he’ll never leave her alone ever again, and he’s so sorry for all the pain she’s had to go through. you can see the way he’s telling her that with his body and with the way he talks to her and is just so himself in bed. there are really parallels between their first night together and this scene (mostly like... him asking her to tell him what she wants lol) and it just makes me so EMOTIONAL. 
YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS THE END? 
no, that was just my top five solo (or li/mc) CGs. i also need to give my top five fave group/multiple character CGs lmao.
in no particular order:
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what can i say? it’s just so beautiful, and every single expression and pose is just so suited for each character i’m in love. 
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frankly no real reason for this one aside from the fact that we get to see goto and subaru in yukata and subaru always looks soooo freaking good in hlitf CGs and also goto’s hand is on subaru’s chest and you know we ship gobaru in this house
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the third anniversary substory CGs are just amazing (you’ll see the full one in a bit and it’s WILD) but honestly i just need everyone to see this one bc it’s just gorgeous. look at ishigami and kaga and look at how inhuman they look, all sweaty and tired from being in panda mascot costumes. kaga with his sleeves rolled up literally has me salivating. look at PRETTY their faces and muscles are... anyway, this CG has me as thirsty as ishigami guzzling that bottle of water.......... 
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i said it was in no particular order but i just need to say that this one is my actual favourite bc it has EVERYONE. and look at how gorgeous they all look.... every single one of them with their hair pushed back ;alskdjfalsk WHO??? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN? NAMBA’S GLOVE? KAGA AND GOTO’S MATCHING SCOWLS? THE ANGLE OF SOMA’S HEAD? TSUGARU’S TONGUE? and also the way his legs are positioned?!?!?! also i love swishy hair ayumu and hide with his leg crossed the other way from kaga and also i’ve never seen toru look this attractive it’s very unfair. 
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the sheer amount of chaotic energy in this one is just wonderful and i love all the details. you all know namba is DAY DRUNK. goto and toru in that signature headlock position, ayumu being a lil shit and putting wasabi in all the cupcakes and ISHIGAMI AND KAGA FALLING FOR IT AND SUFFERING??? LOOK AT THEIR SUFFERING FACES JUST LOOK. and you just KNOW that soma is going to suffer the same fate oh sweet mercy this is like “famous last pictures” level of good. also they’re all wearing new clothes which i love sooooo much. i wanna see ayumu in that orange sweater more often and also army green shirt kaga with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms with that look on his face. have i ever been more in love? no. 
finally, here’s my ultimate favourite favourite group image of all time! not a CG but it’s the header that i use on the mobile version of my blog:
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they’re all looking so happily/fondly over at YOU (hlitf mc who fell asleep) and wondering what you’re dreaming about/saying that you’re dreaming about them. and they all just love and adore you so much. the amount of affection in this one image is unreal and also momose is in it ialskfjsd i just.............. am the SOFTEST for this one. 
anyway sorry that (1) it took so long for me to answer this, bc i had to spend ages thinking about it alongside being busy with life stuff and (2) that i went on for so long and did not pick 5 CGs but rather... 12....... but these are my faves!! thank you so much for the ask! 
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swlbarnes · 5 years
Text
Kindred Spirits - Jack Kline x Reader
Summary: Why are you the only person that can see Jack’s wings?
Pairing: Jack Kline x Reader
Word count: 6k (i didn’t mean for it to happen but here we are)
Warnings: self doubt from both jack and reader, jack being a total sweetheart as always bc that’s totally a warning
A/N: soulmate AU with Jacky boy bc he has wings too and dangit he deserves the ever so lovely cliche “soulmates can see an angel’s wings” trope. Hopefully this can satisfy y’all’s needs for fluffy Jack content, even if I did make it a bit too long. I got excited.
Taking Jack in after everything was strange to say the least. The boy was always exceedingly kind to you and consistently tried his best to make everyone around him happy, yet opinions on him were quite divided in the bunker for quite a while. While you and Sam both held strong to the idea that he was inherently good despite his parentage, Dean couldn’t seem to shake his grudge against him. Every time the poor kid tried to do something for the team, Dean would always be prepared with a snarky remark.
Another thing about Jack’s presence in the bunker that had your mind twisted in confusion was the large pair of wings behind his back. You had never really seen an angel’s wings before, and from what you knew of angel lore, no one but other angels really could see them. Cas has tried to explain it to you one night as you sat side by side in the library of the bunker, but he tended to use references to sciences that humans had no grasp of yet, making the whole thing a bit pointless, really. Needless to say, it was a pretty big shock when you took in the sight of the young nephilim’s wings. Was this because he was a nephilim? Do nephilims usually have their wings out and visible? You wanted nothing more than to come forward to the boys with all of your questions, but something about it felt… wrong. Surely if it was polite to ask about an angel’s wings, then they would have mentioned them already. Perhaps it was even dangerous to ask, seeing as Dean had no intentions of remaining civil with the boy, and he, too, remained silent on the matter. Besides, they were the ones that knew more about nephilims. Maybe it was best to just follow their lead.
It just didn’t add up. How were you the only one to notice them? His wings were massive. Jack was by no means a small man, but something about the vast size of his wingspan made his body seem minuscule. The grand appendages arched upwards from his back, looming above his head and shoulders before reaching out a few feet on either side of his body. Most of the feathers adorning them were a glimmering white that seemed to reflect back every color of the rainbow when hit perfectly with the light. Towards the bottom of each wing were a few rows of pure golden feathers. They each ended in a sharp point, the metallic fluff gleaming in a way that no earthly creature could. Everything about his wings gave off such a purely celestial energy, and to be honest, just looking at them made you feel utterly sinful.
You really did try your best to keep quiet about the whole thing. You promise you did. Sometimes you just… can’t do that, though. You cared about Jack incredibly deeply, and that was the exact reason that you had to speak up.
“I’m just saying, Dean, we can’t leave him here alone. Who knows who could come for him here? He’s not ready to defend himself alone. Plus, we need all hands on deck with this case. We should bring Jack with us,” Sam insisted from his place behind his laptop at one of the library tables. You raised a brow, peering over the research book in your lap. You were reclined in one of the plush armchairs off to the side, while Dean and Jack sat with Sam, one in front of him, and one by his side, respectively.
Dean rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest for what you could only assume was dramatic effect. “It’s too dangerous, the kid stays here. (Y/N) can look after him, we’ll do the hunt just the two of us.” His tone left no room to argue, yet Sam still managed to worm his way in for a rebuttal.
“Seriously?” The younger brother groaned incredulously. “We have no idea what this thing is, and you want to go in without backup? Look, whatever this is, it’s nothing we’ve faced before. Four men, all drained of blood by five crescent shaped puncture wounds to the neck. Not a bite mark, not a normal stab wound, nothing like that. We have nothing to go off of, and we need extra help. I’m just saying, Jack would be an asset.”
Dean opened his mouth, ready to retort, but you were quicker to the punch. “Jack can’t go, though,” you stated matter of factly. The room fell silent, and after a moment, you risked a look up to meet the three pairs of eyes looking your way. Dean appeared to be smug, as he usually was when you took his side in arguments. Sam’s jaw hung slightly ajar in shock at your claim. But Jack’s was the worst. Not only did his facial expression convey his deep betrayal, but his naturally shining, vibrant, proud wings hung low and dragged on the floor, the feathers dulled significantly. He looked broken. You immediately averted your gaze, unable to meet his eyes knowing you were the cause of that reaction.
“What? Are you seriously taking his side in this? After all your serious sit downs you’ve had telling him that Jack is a useful addition to the team, all those times you’ve given Jack pep talks, all that, yadda yadda yadda, was that all just fake?” Sam spat. His hazel eyes burned holes in your head. His jaw was clenched in an attempt to bite back on any words he might regret later.
Your eyes grew wide at the sudden fury radiating off the younger Winchester, but what shocked you even more were his words. How dare he say that? How dare he, in front of Jack, insinuate that you didn’t care about the nephilim’s well-being? You had been nothing but kind to him since he arrived, and you were forever grateful to have him around. But how could Sam not see the issue in all of this? “What are you talking about, Sam? Of course I believe all of that! I think Jack is a gift to this team and you know it, so don’t you dare suggest otherwise, especially in front of him. I care about Jack just like you do. I’d put my life on the line for him time and time again, and I think he’s one of the kindest, most genuine people I’ve ever met. Don’t you dare tell him I don’t,” you nearly growled out in reply. Your eyes were narrowed and you leaned forward to deliver him a glare of the same caliber.
Sam seemed taken aback by your comeback, but he refused to let you shock him into silence. “Oh really?” He scoffed. “Then what’s the problem, huh? Why can’t the kid come with us on this case? What could possibly be more important than keeping him safe with us?”
Finally, you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t bring yourself to care if it was rude anymore, you were doing this for Jack’s own good. “His WINGS!” You cried out, throwing your hands in the air in exasperation. “There, are you happy? I said it! Jack has wings! And I refuse to bring him somewhere that he can be captured by humans and treated like some kind of lab rat experiment!” You knew all too well how red your face was by this point. You could hear the blood pumping in your ears as you fought to catch your breath.
You waited for the gasps of disgust at your poor taste in words. You expected to be scolded within an inch of your life for having disrespected the signal of Jack’s power. You waited. Then you waited. Then you waited some more. And after waiting just a little more, you looked up to meet their expressions. They were far from the angry faces you had expected. Instead they just seemed… confused.
“Okay, now you lost me. What are you getting at here?” Dean questioned with furrowed brows. Your gaze darted back and forth between the three men expectantly, waiting for them to laugh and assure you that they were only joking, but they didn’t. Their faces held steady.
You felt much of your anger melting away into confusion. “I… what? Why are you guys so confused? I mean, he’s got… wings. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, I’m not saying they’re bad. I think they’re absolutely gorgeous and they look really soft and nice, but other people aren’t going to be so understanding and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if someone got to you, Jack,” You rambled on. Your nervousness quickly got the better of you under the nephilim’s watchful, curious gaze. You would be lying if you said that you weren’t attracted to the boy. It often made life in the bunker with him quite difficult, to say the least, what with his constant vibrant smile and carefree nature. After realizing you enjoyed binging on your favorite shows in your free time, he insisted on regularly sitting down together to watch whatever shows or movies you wanted him to see. He didn’t quite understand all of the concepts taking place in each of the plots, but he always tried his best, and he ALWAYS had your favorite snacks and enough blankets to last the winter. Little things like that were what made the hunting life more bearable, and most of those little things seemed to come from Lucifer’s son himself.
Sam looked to you, then to Jack, then back at you. “Are you saying that you… can see his wings?” He wondered aloud, gesturing towards Jack with one hand. You nodded slowly. This didn’t seem to be the answer he had expected, as he immediately asked again. “Like, right now? Right now you see wings… on him?” This time he added a second hand to the gesturing, clearly focusing the movements towards the boy’s torso. Jack shuffled a bit in his seat, but remained silent.
“Yes, Sam! Yes, I see Jack’s wings. Yes, I see them right now. They’re huge and white at the top and at the bottom some of the feathers are gold. One of them is tucked up to his back while the other is- oh, no, Jack! No, please don’t hide them away, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you!” You reached a hand out towards Jack in an attempt to comfort him, only to find that you were much too far away to do such a thing, especially since he had pulled the wing closest to you back in towards his back while you were speaking. His feathers ruffled a bit at your words, his eyes widening to match the subtle movement.
The nephilim turned his gaze to Dean before looking to Sam, clearly seeking an explanation. Each of the brothers could give him nothing but blank, questioning gazes. Dean leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table as he did so. “(Y/N), have you seen Jack’s wings the whole time we’ve known him?”
“Of course…”
“And you didn’t think to, oh I don’t know, freaking tell us about that?” His tone held an edge of anger that you were unsure how to process. The eldest Winchester seemed to snap at you far more often since Jack joined the team, and you were usually able to brush his words off and move on. This time, though, you weren’t sure if his annoyance was a result of Jack’s presence of your lack of action.
“I didn’t think anything of it! I thought everyone could see them!” You retorted, crossing your arms over your chest in a defensive manner. Dean’s body moved with his eyes as they rolled up to the ceiling and then back down to you once again.
“Seriously? You thought we wouldn’t mention that our new housemate has huge freaky wings growing out of his back? I can’t say that’s something I would usually overlook!”
A low groan passed through your lips at this. “Oh, really, Dean? I’m sorry that I didn’t find it odd enough to mention Jack’s wings. I was a little busy with my usual daily tasks, like trying to save your mother from another dimension and killing the last Prince of Hell! I’m not sure you’ve noticed, but Jack having wings is probably the least strange thing I’ve told you this week,” you growled out. After a beat of silence, you decided you couldn’t hold back your other grievance with his words. “And don’t call his wings ‘freaky,’ Dean. If you could see them you’d be singing Jack’s praises. They’re absolutely gorgeous, and guess what? You can’t argue, because apparently, I’m the only one of us humans that knows what they’re talking about!” With that, you sat back with a smug grin.
Dean, however, did not agree with your assumption that you won the argument. He gave a simple annoyed huff in response. “I still think you should’ve told us. Surely you didn’t think we were just ignoring them or whatever?”
You gave a vague shrug to this. “You two are the ones that did most of the research on nephilims, so I thought there might be some respect thing about mentioning them. I was just following your lead with this whole thing.”
Sam shook his head, deciding now would be the best time to interject before your voices began to rise once again in a resurrected argument. “Alright, let’s just forget the whole ‘you should’ve told us’ thing right now. What’s important is figuring out why you can see his wings. What does that even mean?” The taller of the brothers queried, his brows knitted together. Worry lines creased his forehead, much like the ones that made themselves visible on Jack and Dean.
You shrugged your shoulders once again in as nonchalant of a manner as you could. “Does it matter? It doesn’t really seem like a life threatening situation. It’s not a big deal, and we’ve got enough on our plates as it is, don’t you think?” You insisted. Your fingers tapped absentmindedly on the arm of the couch as the three men took a silent moment to think.
“I still don’t like it,” Dean muttered in annoyance, his gaze fixated on a minute pocket of air a few inches from his face.
“You don’t like much of anything nowadays,” was your comment in reply. This earned you a callous glare from the older hunter.
Sam let out a sigh as he leaned back in his chair. His arms stretched over his head, bent at the elbows so he could rub at his exhaustion ridden eyes. “I don’t know,” he spoke through a groan. “I don’t think it’s dangerous, but I’d still like to know why, you know? It might be important later on down the road.” You decided to drop the subject with a sigh, standing up to grab a new book of lore from a nearby shelf. Much to your satisfaction, they all seemed to follow suit, and the bunker library fell silent once more.
After that day, you began to notice the little things that started to change. You and Jack became closer than ever, the boy seeming to crave spending quality time with you whenever he could. Sometimes when night would fall and the nephilim’s demons continued to brawl inside his head, he would make his way into your room. It was easy to tell the difference between Jack’s footsteps approaching and either of the brothers. Dean’s steps were heavy and slightly uneven, and they echoed off the stone walls like a blaring police siren. Sam’s feet hit the ground with less force, but that didn’t make them any less noticeable. His boots still clacked noisily against the floors despite all of his efforts to remain quiet. Jack, however, was a whole different story. Jack’s bare feet shuffled almost silently up to your closed bedroom door on those nights. He wasn’t the biggest fan of shoes, and if he was allowed to go without them, then he would do so in a heartbeat. He would knock on your door, calling out that it was Jack, and asking if he could come in, just like you had taught him. Once he got your approval, he would step inside, closing the door behind him before diving into your bed and curling up next to you. Sometimes he would want to talk about it, other times he just remained silent. You trusted him to do what he felt he needed most, so you never pushed him. You just reached out and ran your fingers through his feathers until he drifted off to sleep at your side.
Sam continued to scour every piece of angel and nephilim lore he could find in an attempt to find an answer to your little winged mystery, but everything he read just came up empty. Most hunters didn’t even know angels existed, and most of the readings from nonhunters were just speculation. Even still, nothing he found could give him an answer. If the Men of Letters didn’t know about it, then he wasn’t sure how it settled with him.
It wasn’t until the brothers went out on their own hunt in Grand Junction that anything came of it all. In other words, it wasn’t until Castiel came back that you had any answers.
Your reunion with the seraph was tear filled to say the least. You remember clinging desperately to his form, your fingers curling into the familiar beige trenchcoat as if it might fade away any second, taking your dear friend with it. Jack was quick to show off his progress with his powers, much to your amusement. Your eyes couldn’t help but linger on the way his wings twitched in anticipation of his adoptive father’s reaction, and the smile that broke out on his face when Castiel praised him was enough to send your heart racing. Oh, you had surely fallen, and you had fallen hard.
Your mind hardly registered the complexity of your situation with Jack anymore at that point. You came to find that his wings were just as expressive as his face, and you were soon able to read the most minor of twitches and flutters with ease. This only served to bring you even closer to the man. It was that exact closeness that eventually led to Castiel’s discovery of your predicament.
You sat in one of the old wooden chairs in the library, Jack seated just to your left. The pair of you gazed listlessly at the dust ridden lore books splayed out on the table in front of you. Across the table sat the two older hunters and your angel companion, each one with their own piece of research material, whether it be in the form of a laptop or another one of the decrepit tomes stocked in the Men of Letters library.
The air of the bunker always seemed to carry a certain chill to it that never ceased to send chills up and down your frame. This night was surely no exception. You tugged desperately at the flannel covering your shoulders in an attempt to conserve some of your body heat, but your efforts were naught; the goosebumps along your arms remained undefeated.
Another all consuming shiver rattled your form before you decided to speak up. “Would it kill you boys to turn up the heating in this place?” You muttered in annoyance as you tugged your knees up towards your chest in order to keep warm. Dean peered up at you from over the top of his laptop screen, an amused grin tugging at his lips.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? A little chilly?” He mused. His tone was far from comforting, and the sound caused you to let out a huff of annoyance. “Why don’t you just go grab a jacket?”
You rolled your eyes in reply. “Because I’m inside at home and I shouldn’t have to wear fifty layers of clothing just to keep from freezing to death in the good year of 2019,” you insisted. You were on the verge of teeth chattering at this point, and therefore you made sure to speak through your teeth as if you were simply angry with the eldest Winchester - little did he know that you simply couldn’t talk any other way without sounding like a fool.
Sam let out a chuckle, only for the sound to be cut off with a cough as soon as your glare fell on him. His eyes focused back on the screen in front of him, his face wiped clean of his previous amusement. Good boy.
Jack turned to you with a look of concern etched into his features. “You’re cold?” He queried, his eyes scanning over the way your hands were rubbing relentlessly at your upper arms. You let out a hum and gave a quick nod of your head. At this reply, Jack wasted no time in unfurling his wings. The wing closest to you curled around just behind your back and around your shoulders. You were instantly encased in the warmth and the soft comfort of the nephilim’s wings. Your eyes fluttered closed, and for just a moment you allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of his fledging flight feathers brushing against your skin.
A low hum of approval passed through your lips, a sound your brain only partially recognized before it left you. Your body curled subconsciously into Jack’s little embrace. “That’s a lot better,” you murmured, your voice hardly a whisper in the still air of the bunker library. “Thank you, Jack.”
You opened your eyes to look at the man by your side, and you were pleased to see the bright smile on his face. You were quick to return his expression before turning back to your lore book to continue translating the old ancient Greek text. Your plan to continue on as normal didn’t last very long, however, as only moments later Castiel spoke up in the quiet atmosphere.
“(Y/N)...” He pressed, his tone insistent but maintaining a soft edge as not to frighten you. You looked up towards the angel to assure him that you were listening. He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter in his chair, if that was even possible for the eons old soldier anymore. “Do you… Do you happen to see Jack’s wings…?”
The question was a simple one. You’d been over this before. You’d talked through this with the boys already. Even after that first conversation, Dean insisted on asking you repeatedly for a few days afterwards just to try to catch you in some elaborate lie. There was nothing that should have made you pause about his line of questioning, but still, you found yourself hesitating at the sound of the query coming off of Castiel’s lips. This was an angel. He knows these things. This was different.
Your throat grew dry when sapphire blue eyes locked with your own. You did all you could to force down the rising lump in your throat, finally bringing yourself to squeak out a feeble, “yes…?” in response. You reached out and grabbed your beer bottle from the table, easily bringing it to your lips and taking a swig. Whether you were seeking out the dull buzz from the alcohol or the relief the liquid brought to your suddenly parched throat, you could never be sure.
This interaction didn’t go unnoticed by the taller of the two Winchesters. Sam’s head poked up from behind his laptop once again, his brows tugged together so much so that his forehead became littered with creased lines. “Cas? Do you know what that means? I’ve been scouring the lore night and day trying to find something, and I couldn’t find a single recorded instance of this,” he informed the angel, his voice dripping with concern.
Cas gave a dismissive shake of his head at the taller man’s efforts. “I wouldn’t expect it to be recorded anywhere. Soulmates are far too sacred for such things.” Castiel’s voice was always gruff, but there was something about this new information that sent his tones even deeper with thought.
Dean instantly began sputtering wildly at his friend’s simplistic statement. “You said the what now?” He cried out. The hunter’s eyes were saucers of emerald, glinting with the shock of what he just learned.
Cas finally broke from his reverie long enough to turn his eyes to the bewildered man to his right. His squinted gaze flickered to and from Dean’s expression. “I believe I spoke quite clearly. If (Y/N) is able to see Jack’s wings, then the only answer is that they are soulmates,” he clarified.
Your face was surely somewhere close to cherry red at that point, your jaw dropped open in utter shock. You couldn’t believe it. How could you believe such a thing? Jack was a creature that was truly one of a kind. Born of an archangel and a human and stronger than the devil himself, he was a symbol of hope for the future of humanity. You? You were just some poor sap that got roped into a life of nightmares and loss. The idea that he was meant to be with you so much so that the fates demanded it, it was dizzying.
Against all of your better judgment, you turned to spare a glance at the nephilim by your side. Much to your surprise, you didn’t find a fuming, disappointed hybrid, but a bubbly young man with a childlike excitement in his eyes. A broad smile adorned his lips and his chest puffed outwards with swelling pride. The wings on his back ruffled as they shifted to make themselves larger as well. The one wrapped around your form curled a bit tighter, pressing you closer to his chair.
“So,” Jack chirped, “does that mean that we’re meant to be together like Anakin and Padmé?”
You and Sam both visibly winced at the insinuation, but Castiel was the one to speak up. “Perhaps they aren’t the best idea of romance and healthy human relationships.”
Dean scoffed, snatching his beer from the table and tipping it back to take a swig. “Understatement of the century, man. He did kinda end up killing her when she was pregnant with their twins then spent his time undoing her life’s work to restore the democracy to the galaxy, but sure. Maybe they’re just a little iffy.”
Sam smirked and turned to Dean with his arms crossed over his chest. “I wasn’t aware you were well versed in Star Wars lore, Dean,” he teased, much to the older man’s annoyance.
“It’s Star Wars, man,” he muttered. “‘Course I’ve seen it. And the prequels were garbage.”
That was it, you had to speak up. “Guys!” You shouted, causing all four men to jump in their seats in fright. Their bewildered gazes landed on you. “Are you seriously talking about Star Wars when we just learned that Jack and I are soulmates? Can we please gain a little perspective!” You snapped. Jack’s wing pressed into your back in an attempt to comfort you, and to be honest, it did the job.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Sam muttered, turning to Cas once again. “So, what exactly does this whole thing mean?”
Cas leaned back in his chair. His hands clasped together in his lap. “It is really quite self explanatory. An angel’s wings can only be seen by other angels and, in very special cases, that angel’s intended soulmate.” A pleased smile stretched across his lips as his eyes flickered back and forth between you and Jack. “Not many angels have the fortune of getting a soulmate, so this is truly quite remarkable. I’m glad you two have found each other. You deserve all the comfort your bond brings.”
Though you remained rigid with shock, you couldn’t help the smile blooming on your face from the sentiment. Castiel might be a ferocious warrior trained and worked as a soldier for eons, but at the end of the day the seraph would always be a huge softie.
“So is this like, God hath come down and decreed that these two shall bang?” Dean asked as bluntly as possible. You were sure that by that point, all the blood in your body was circulating through only your face and cheeks.
“D-Dean!” You scolded him. Your voice raised an octave or two in your embarrassment. The older hunter cast you a simple wink.
Castiel shook his head, paying no mind to the awkward atmosphere you were radiating in reaction to Dean’s words. “I’m unsure how their bond was put in place. For other angels, God did hand pick the angels and their soulmate counterparts and set the bond himself, however that was millennia ago. There have been no new fledglings since then, and therefore, no more bonds to create. How this one was made is beyond me.” The answer was just enough to answer a few of their questions, only to leave them with a handful more that would surely remain a mystery.
A low groan escaped your lips as you settled your forehead on your knees, which were still tucked up against your chest. This was too much. This was way too much. You hadn’t even spilled your feelings about Jack and you were already going to be rejected, and by your soulmate no less. Jack surely saw you as just a friend, and as much as it hurt, you vowed to go forward however he wished. A moment or two passed in complete silence before anyone moved.
“I’m gonna head to bed,” Sam announced. His chair legs squealed against the ground as he scooted away from the table to stand. The sound of Dean agreeing and standing up made itself prominent, followed by a quick whack!
“What?” Cas’s voice muttered in confusion. More silence, then, “Oh! Yes, yes I should leave as well. Very busy recently. Lots of things to get done. Being alive again is very time consuming. Good night everyone.” A tell tale flap of wings and a gust of wind strong enough to turn the pages of the book in front of you let you know that he had gone. Dean’s retreat to his bedroom was clear by the heavy footsteps overshadowing his faint muttering about Castiel’s cluelessness.
“(Y/N)?” Jack’s voice called softly from his place next to you. You let out a hum of acknowledgement, but refused to lift your head to meet his eyes. Apparently, this was not enough for the nephilim. He let out a sigh, and soon enough he had hooked his foot on the leg of your chair and dragged it over until it collided with his own with a clank! Even still, your head stayed down. “(Y/N) please look at me?”
“No thank you,” you muttered. Your voice was muffled through the denim of your jeans, but he understood you all the same.
Another sigh from the man. The wing on your back grew heavier against your shoulders, as though he was no longer making an effort to hold it up. “Is it really so bad that you have to be with me?”
Your body froze. His voice wavered with uncertainty and self doubt. That one question was enough to make your heart shatter in your chest. He sounded broken by his realization - no, his idea that you didn’t want him. He thought you were going to reject him.
Your resolve faded away in that moment, and you carefully lifted your head to meet his watery eyed gaze. His lip quivered slightly with his breathing, and it took everything in you not to hold him close and make sure he never has to suffer again. His hands were in his lap, fingers toying with the fuzzy material along the inside of his jacket. He always told you how much he loved the jacket because it was so soft. It comforted him when he got scared. He was seeking out that comfort. Because of you.
“Jack, no, that’s not what this is about at all,” you whispered, being sure to meet his gaze in an attempt to prove your truthfulness. “It’s not bad for me, Jack. Not at all. I just… I worry about how you feel about this whole situation. I’m not exactly the best option you could’ve had. You could’ve been soulmates with a nice, normal, everyday citizen with none of this emotional baggage coming along with them. Someone without a hero complex, or memories of Hell, or enough nightmares behind their eyelids to give Stephen King a run for his money. You could’ve had someone like that, but instead it’s just… me.” You fought to swallow the rising lump in your throat as you finished speaking.
“You… You aren’t ashamed of me?” Jack asked you in disbelief. The broken shards of your heart continued to crumble into dust. The absolute awe in his eyes over the simple fact that you weren’t ashamed to be his soulmate was devastating. He truly thought so little of himself already in his short life.
“Of course not, sweetheart,” you assured the nephilim. You dropped your feet back to the ground and reached towards him, resting your palm against his cheek. The tears he had built up along his bottom lid escaped their confines to trail down his cheeks. Your eyes followed the droplet as it made its way down along the curves of his face. Just before it reached his jawline, you raised your other hand up and swiped your thumb over the teardrop. Your finger followed the wet trail it left behind, wiping away the remnants until both palms were pressed against his cheeks. Your thumbs brushed carefully over his cheekbones as you cradled the man’s face in your hands.
“But I’m an abomination. I’m Lucifer’s son, I might be evil. I could hurt you. I could kill you!” He insisted, his eyes growing panicked with each passing second. You shook your head.
“You’re not evil, and you won’t hurt me. I trust you. And so what if the angels think you’re an abomination? They say the same thing about Sam, you know. Is Sam bad?” He shook his head slowly. “Exactly. Sometimes… Sometimes people are treated badly just because of who they are. It’s not right, and it’s not good, but it happens. That’s why we do our best to prove those people wrong. Okay? You’ve saved people, and you’re going to continue saving people, because that’s who you are. You’re good, Jack. You’re so good, and I wish I could get you to believe that yourself.”
Once again you found yourself staring back at a pair of red rimmed, tear brimming eyes. If you thought he was in awe before, then this was absolute disbelief. His mouth hung just slightly ajar as his eyes scanned your face for any signs that you were lying. A moment passed, and he must have been satisfied with his findings, because soon enough he was pulling you towards him and pressing his lips to yours. You leaned in to the kiss and your eyes fluttered shut. The taste of the soda he had off to the side still lingered on his lips, and all too soon you had to pull away.
Jack’s eyes were shining in the low light of the library. He pressed his forehead to yours, brushing his nose over yours in an affectionate manner. “I think I like kissing,” he commented in a soft tone.
A chuckle escaped you. “Feel free to do it anytime, then,” you welcomed with a dazed grin. Jack smiled before connecting your lips with his own once again. He pulled you flush against him, and soon enough you were encompassed in the soft warmth of a pair of large white and golden wings, encapsulating you two together and blocking out the rest of the world, because in the end, none of that really mattered. As long as you had Jack by your side, you knew you could get through anything.
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skullsnsunbeams · 4 years
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Please enjoy the first part of my commentary of Outer Banks. I'm going to post eps. 6 through 10 in a second post so as to keep within the text limit. Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see what all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO
Ep 1:
• Ragtag group of friends, including a girl that the 3 other guys wanna bang, and she's also a rich girl but she "doesn't fit in" with that crowd so she hangs with the down and out guys
• "Kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls for rich girl"
• A 27 year old playing a teenager, the usual
• One of the main guys in this is HOT
• In a basic white dude way
• He's the asshole bad boy of the show and I want him to BRB THERE'S A FIGHT
• I bet he's a genuine good guy tho
• HE'S A DUMBASS SO NOW I'M IN LOVE
• ADINA PORTER
• The main protagonist looks like james from BTR
• His face is too small for his head
• His best friend (JJ?) moaned about 20 minutes in and I haven't been the same since
• I have to watch ep 2 to decide if I'm gonna genuinely enjoy this or hate watch
Ep. 2
• I'm getting Flight 29 Down vibes
• The narration is kinda, too much? Like if I need to be guided by it, that means the writers didn't do such a good job
• "wHaT dO yOu KnOw AbOuT tHe CoMpAsS!?"
• This Sarah chick is fucking annoying
• Annoying rich bitch wants attention and she's fucking so fucking CLICHE
• This little sister is FUCKING AGGRAVATING
• We got our sleezy bad guys, ofc
• "Ratter" ooof course that's his name
• THEY'RE STEALING SHIT
• HE JUST KILLED A CHICKEN
• I'm literally crying right now AHAHAHAH fuck
• Sarah's douche bf has HIGHLIGHTS
• His name is Topper which I ironic bc he's def a bottom
• SO FUCKING CLICHE AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT IT???
• THIS KID HAS A HACKEY SACK WHAT KINDA 2000s MOVIE IS THIS
• Why is this so dramatic
• Like for whaaaaat
• There was ONE kiss and now I wanna make out with someone wtf quarantine is killing me
• John B. is growing on me
• Curse me being for a White Man's Whore
• Oh no Ward is HOT
• Please let him turn out to be a decent man bc I don't trust rich white men as far as I can throw em
• John B runs weird????
• OHP THERE'S OUR BADDIES
• Cue Poppy's Voicemail
• My mom just came in and asked me to tone it down but I told her it's not in my nature and she said " *sigh* I know"
• FUCK THE POLICE
• don't give it to her John B
• ACAB
• I knew he wouldn't be able to give it up, we wouldn't have a show then!
• "Back in the friend zone" I'm hollering
• A snake!
• "Stop barking at the snakes" JJ IS SO DUMB
• And now Kie is going into the grave
Ep. 3
• There would be spiders everywhere realistically
• THESE DUDES ARE EVERYWHERE BRO
• Ah it's just grave diggers
• JJ. Is so. Dumb.
• Fuck bro I'm cryin
• Pope is an angel
• Sarah needs to shut up
• Her sister also needs to shut up
• TO THE BIG KAHUNA
• Is JJ wearing a shark tooth necklace
• ONLY 900 FEET
• Dumb idiot bitch is vomiting too calmly
• This kid, Rafe? Annoying and useless
• Sarah's brother???
• HE BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE WITH THE GENERATOR MONEY WHAT A PRIVILEGED CUNT
• He's a drug dealer, ofc he is
• ANOTHER CLICHE
• Creepy security guard. Wonderful.
• Always gotta help the young pretty girl
• JJ lying about being abused, or is he really? Either way it's lowkey smart
• HE'S LYING. HIS FAKE CRYING? BELIEVABLE. KUDOS TO YOU, JJ
• That is a human hand
• They're gonna get hurt lmao
• Yayo? Tf is yayo? Some slang for coke?
• I googled it, it's Spanish slang for cocaine lmaoooo I'm dumb
• TOPPER SAID I LOVE YOU AND SARAH DIDN'T SAY IT BACK
• Mmmmmm love when guys get MAD because she took back her yes!!!
• "Tastes like bananas"
• I don't like this kid but I feel bad that he was pressured into this
• POPE LIKES KIE
• Dead bodies oh yeah
• AND THE THUNDER ROLLS
• Ofc Rafe is causing problems
• I think Topper isn't so bad and may just be a product of his environment
• Nevermind FUCK HIM FOR HURTING POPE
• Those surfing shots are cool
• Little fishies
• Pope is so cute and adorable
• THAT'S A BIG STORM
• Uh uh, no thank you
• They're gonna lose the camera
• Do you ever have anxiety
• Oh shiiiit there she is
Ep. 4
• John B has pretty freckles
• "On what grounds?" "On solid grounds, on holy grounds" (ON THE GROUNDS OF BROOKLYN, YOUR HONOR)
• Wait how old is he, even?
• HE DO BE RUNNIN
• Poor Jorge
• That was a very fake jump
• "That's not ideal" he's such a goob
• "Why is this my fault?" "Because it usually is." Oof
• Rafe just said Pope needs to take some personal responsibility. IS HE LISTENING TO HIMSELF? THE IRONY
• This bitch.....is putting rubbing alcohol on the wound? Not peroxide?
• He slapped her hand I'm crying
• I'm sorry but bitches need to mind their business
• I S2G IF THEY HURT POPE I WILL END THEM
• This is so messy
• Why did I think she was gonna flash the guy
• Rafe def likes Kie
• "It might go down tonight" I love this over dramatic shit
• Ward was poor once too, wah wah
• John B is going crazy
• Well the sharks didn't do shit
• Ofc they're going shopping
• "I'll sugar mama you"
• This is actually funny, but I can feel the tension
• "You almost killed him HAHAHAHAH" shut the fuck up you pussy bitch
• Aw he shook the librarian's hand what a good bub
• Of course the stupid rich mom wants to press charges
• FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT
• JJ I LOVE YOU
• YOU'RE DUMB BUT I LOVE YOU
Ep. 5
• So there was a kiss. Nice.
• JJ's dad is gonna beat his ass and Susan is gonna feel bad
• YUP THERE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.
• I wanna hug JJ so bad
• Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
• DIRTY COPS
• AW THAT HUG, THAT SMOOCH. I LOVE JJ AND POPE
• I hope Rafe d*es
• The dude who plays Topper is a good actor
• JJ IS SO DUMB I LOVE HIM
• Denmark Tanny was a G
• John B do B lyin
• Ward knows, ofc he fucking knows
• A SAFE BEHIND THE PAINTING
• OH MY GOD WARD WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THOSE GUYS
• ahhhh drinking and driving love it
• Topper is about to do some moronic shit
• She's not there, she did the pillows under the covers trick
• OH NO IT'S HER SISTER
• "I'm not a jealous guy" sure
• He's spilling his heart out rn
• HE'S LYING TO KIE'S FACE
• Ofc Wheezie snitched, again
• Topper looks like he's gonna murder someone
• BRO HE JUST FELL????
• Did your "short fuse" make you murder those dudes?
• He's gonna be a KOOK
• UH UH, WARD IS SUS
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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years
Text
mtmte liveblog issues 4&5
its delphi time babey
I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo
oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar
anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid
love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist 
ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it
i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo
is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo
unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin
i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached 
i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much
oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you
ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story
drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,
hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,
PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices
drift epic sword moments
drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him
‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo
ah, so its covid
this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid 
so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice
seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool
poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to 
that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage
is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be
is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable 
first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............
first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes 
i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose 
tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’
CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND
go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better
seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon
drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao
poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough
also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around 
drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword
also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man
ooof now drift has the rona. ouch 
poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around
first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup
ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym 
im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!
the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute
and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru
yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm
when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man 
also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff
ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?
ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening
drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too 
i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav
ratchet holding drifts hand ;_; 
ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here
all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business
ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier 
and there's first aid with the save! iconic
pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf
ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep
s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)
also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory 
ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon 
drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh
‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E
also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf
godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good! 
and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life
also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao
ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies? 
fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard 
tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch
magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad
love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general 
not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form 
also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting 
poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business 
I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely 
god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden 
also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh
‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic
now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions
the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well 
also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything
‘sound bomb’ i love this comic
another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining
‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao
also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny 
ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild
‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)
SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY 
oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma 
so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it 
i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude. 
and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins! 
well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....
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