clxxix.
little ghost;
haunting
the doorframe
to my mind
yet it's because
of you that my
blood runs
a little warmer
than most
—
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clxxviii.
marching
straight in
to madness;
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clxxvii.
inside of me
is a cavity, a hole
rotting in my chest
where my heart
once made its home;
nonchalantly
eating away
at my soul with its
jagged teeth.
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clxxvi.
your reflection
in the morning
dewdrop petals
leaves me with
a million memories
—
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clxxv.
your favorite sweater
left on the bedroom floor
covered in dust
old songs you knew by heart
now long forgotten
that meal you used to love
no longer quenches the soul
the world has lost all its color,
running into a murky puddle
and you're standing in it,
cold and numb.
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clxxiv.
your presence
is in the shadows
drenching me
from the soft,
downy clouds
above
and that, to me
is a gift.
—
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clxxiii.
i look at these
asymmetrical eyes
and blemished nose
not-quite-the-cupid's bow
the knicks in the skin and
the scar on the
left cheek but—
this face feels
as though
it doesn't belong
to me
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clxxii.
you arrived in this universe
with nothing but your skin and teeth
and look how far you got.
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clxxi.
sun
flower,
you soak up
all the light
how i wish
i could be like that
—
to forget
and live
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clxx.
don't wanna forget to live
but i can't forget what they
did to me how this
is unforgiveable
i can't get past the past
they say time heals wounds but this
pain feels like it's gonna last a
lifetime i spent creating
just to be stripped back
down to my bare bones and skin
some sins you just can't let it go
even though i know its gonna hold me
down try to sink me deeper than i can
swim drown me in my own
sorrow and grief it's like the
more i try to keep head up
the heavier my shoulders get
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clxix.
i need
meds,
my brain is
sick.
it fell
in love
with some
one who
only exist-
(ed)
in my head
—
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clxviii.
little bird
you've flown
from your
roost
off to see
a new light
—
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clxvii.
the girl with the
tangerine hair
—
she desperately craved
to blend in with the
violets and lilies
their delicate features,
so flawless and pretty—
it haunted her, the
dream of washing away
her muddy copper streaks
it always ended in
chasing the tears
running down
her freckled cheeks
in her muted light she
couldn't see her color shine
how she stood out like
an ember sunset after a
june summer's rain
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clxvi.
you went to the edge
of the universe
away from me
—
"and i would travel a
thousand lightyears just to get
back to you"
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clxv.
[anamnesis: noun,
singular form]
—
lilac petals,
smoke of ember;
when i think
back to you that's what i
remember
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clxiv.
shooting chlorine
in my veins;
inhaling cyanide
just trying to tap
into some sort
of feeling
because i'm
dead inside
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clxiii.
can't tell by
the tone in
your voice
if you hate
me or not it's
been so
long since i've
had serotonin
that feeling ok is
something i forgot
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