lightbluepaperplanes

[lightbluepaperplanes]

I still don't know if having an ed makes you fucking crazy or totally rational...

#ed disorder #anamia #tw eating things #miaa #tw ed mention #tw eating stuff #tw weight #thin inspo #i want to be skiny #need to lose more weight #thinspo #food tw #low cal ana #anarecia #ana thoughts #ana #anoressia #tw ana shit

[lightbluepaperplanes]

...Back at my shit again...

#anamia #tw eating things #miaa #low cal ana #anarecia #ana thoughts #ana #anoressia #bulimia #i want to be skiny #tw ed mention #tw eating stuff #tw weight #tw ed vent #tw ed relapse

[lightbluepaperplanes]

REBLOG IF ITS OKAY TO TALK TO YOU.

Please.

[lightbluepaperplanes]

...Alone but never really alone...

Breakfast is the only meal I enjoy. I like being alone, watching TV with my cup of coffee and my low-cal cookies.

I like the peace before the day begins and I like the shy light that starts to come in through the windows.

Or, at least, breakfast was the only meal i could enjoy.

Today i almost had an anxiety attack, I felt bloated, nauseous, and the only thing i could think of was how to purge without being heard.

I hate this.

This sickness is destroying even my peaceful moments. I'm never alone, not anymore, it is always by my side, reminding me who I am and who I should be instead.

I hate this.

My joyful moments are constantly followed by dark holes, in which i fall every evening, when my mind and my thoughts win.

I hate this.

I always try to make people feel better, but when it comes to me i'm only able to destroy myself.

I hate this.

Why do I wanna become a ghost?

I find no rational explanation and i want one. I need one.

I really hate this.

#anamia #tw eating things #miaa #tw weight #notpro #tw ed vent #an0rex1c #dietcoke #diet #4n4 diet

[lightbluepaperplanes]

I feel like a whale

I really need some advice. I think i reached my body plateau and idk what to do against it. I restrict so much but for at least two weeks i haven't seen any results.

I'm fucking desperate.

What can i do against it?

#anamia #tw eating things #miaa #thin inspo #eating disoder mention #tw weight #notpro #ana diary #i want to be skiny

[lightbluepaperplanes]

In what situation would you not, for no reason at all, want somebody to see you?

I'll go first:

i hope nobody will ever see me during or right after purging.

Wby all?

#anamia #tw eating things #miaa #thin inspo #eating disoder thoughts #eating disoder mention #tw weight #notpro

[lightbluepaperplanes]

[lightbluepaperplanes]

Do you guys know how it feels like to have a big piece of news that you can't tell anyone?

Well, then i'm gonna scream it out loud here...

I lost 3.5kgs!!!!!!!!!!

I still cannot believe it and omg i feel so good!

#anamia #tw eating things #miaa #thin inspo #eating disoder thoughts #eating disoder mention #low cal ana #tw weight #notpro

[lightbluepaperplanes]

What is wrong inside my head?

#anamia #tw eating things #miaa #thin inspo #eating disoder thoughts #eating disoder mention #low cal ana #tw weight #not pro just using tags #notpro

[lightbluepaperplanes]

I'm seriously wondering if we are in 2021 for real.

[lightbluepaperplanes]

Here's a small explicatory image of the tumblr ed community in the form of juice bottles.

#anamia #anarecia #tw eating things #miaa #thin inspo #eating disoder thoughts #tw eating stuff #eating disoder mention #low cal ana #tw weight

[lightbluepaperplanes]

03, 14 and 35 💓

03. I regret many things honstly. Maybe the biggest one is to have cared too fucking much about others' opinions and judgments. Maybe i wouldn't have so many problems atm and i could be living life in a better way

14. I do miss my best friend bc we haven't been talking for a year since he told he couldn't be the right kind of friend for me...

35. I cried in front of some girls i work with bc i was having a mental breakdown and i had broken like three or four glasses. It was pretty funny actually i seemed like a baby girl crying😂✌

[lightbluepaperplanes]

⏫

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

[lightbluepaperplanes]

I understood why i kinda like/need to have an ed.

Having an ed just makes me think about it the WHOLE TIME and monopolizes my days.

I need my ed because it makes me feel to have control over something and it makes me avoid thinking about what happens (or doesn't happen) in my life.

Planning meals, searching for workouts, calculating calories: this takes so much time that i literally cannot stop and focus on my life.

That's why i need my ed.

#low cal ana #anarexja #ana thoughts #anamia #ana #anarecia #tw ed things #tw eating stuff #tw eating things #tw weight #tw ed mention #food tw

[lightbluepaperplanes]

Put your hands up if you feel like you are faking your ed

#anamia #anarecia #miaa #thin inspo #tw eating things #eating disoder thoughts #eating disoder mention #tw eating stuff #low cal ana

[lightbluepaperplanes]

Kinda need someone to talk to.

Is anyone out there?

#anamia #anarecia #miaa #thin inspo #tw eating things #eating disoder thoughts #eating disoder mention #tw eating stuff

[lightbluepaperplanes]

My parents have kept repeating me "You'r losing too much weight, weigh yourself. You look sick".

I didn't want to weigh myself since i wasn't ready to have other bad news.

Well, this morning i did it, i was so fucking scared but...

I reached my GW!

I need to lose 4 more kilos (8lbs). I just want this dream to come trueeeee.

#anamia #anarecia #miaa #thin inspo #tw eating things #eating disoder thoughts #eating disoder mention #tw eating stuff #tw weight #weight loss #weightloss #need to lose more weight