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kiki-sleeps · 3 months

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Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!

Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma

Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction

Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways

Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it

Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points

Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal

Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury

D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band

NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it

Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud

Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold

No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts

The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes

Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally

Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad

Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one

Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death

Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band

Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie

Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are

Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools

Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment

Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is

Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis

Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast

Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead

Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?

Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify

ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite

5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with

All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this

T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments

Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10

The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons

The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins

Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history

Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot

Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this

Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out

Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out

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kiki-sleeps · 10 months

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MHA - Hitoshi Shinso x reader

A/N: Exactly after a year since I've created my tumblr account, I've been so mesmerized by the sheer amount of content that I completely forgot about writing myself lol. Anyways, this a one-shot based on a character I created a long time ago and it was written around that time so my style is different from the Jack Frost story. Let me know which of the two you think is better and why if you feel like leaving a comment or a reblog <3

LISTEN TO THE SONG CHLORINE - TWENTY ONE PILOTS WHILE READING (I changed the lyrics a little bit to make them fit with the story, it shouldn't be noticeable tho)

TW: Torture, mentions of needles, blood, (semi)gore, character death, wounds, tubes and stitches (lmk if I should add other warnings)

So where were you? It's been a little while

The doctor's voice wakes me up from my slumber as I feel multiple tubes and needles injecting in my skin. My eyes are half-lidded, blurry figures hovering over mine. Ahh, it's truly been a fair bit of time since I've been here. I didn't miss it. These experiments have been draining the life out of me. They put me in one of the capsules for monitoring and then he speaks again;

"Aren't you happy? We'll do one of your favourites!"

His voice is muffled by the glass, but I hear his sarcastic words perfectly. He turns his head to one of the nurses and orders:

"Go full out in the lungs"

Sippin' on straight chlorine, let the vibes slide over me

The ugly smell makes its way through the mask on my face, and I can feel my senses going numb for the umpteenth time in my life. My head starts spinning, and so do my thoughts. This could be regarded as getting high, but it's nowhere near as happy as that. The euphoric feeling doesn't exist here. Just nothing.

This beat is a chemical, beat is a chemical

The only thing I feel is the steady rhythm of my heart. Like a calm drum that goes in pair with the ringing in my ears. It's a lonely soothing feeling, like a lullaby that's just for me.

When I leave don't save my seat, I'll be back when it's all complete

Memories come to mind.

"Don't worry," I said to him. "I'll be fine."

Lies. I should have just said goodbye when I had the chance.

The moment is medical, moment is medical

My depressing regrets come to a temporary end as my tired eyes look at a finger tapping on the glass. They do this every time.

"If you see it, it means you're healing."

Healing from what? I've never been sick in the first place. You're the ones who created a whole clinical identity for me.

I was fine, once upon a time. But my story is no fairytale. Just a bunch of unfortunate choices. Except for one. Deciding to give him the last hopes I had is the only thing I regard as the luckiest that could ever happen to me.

Sippin' on straight chlorine

I want to cough, but I can't. I've tried, when I still had the will to resist. The result? Just vomiting. The tubes are too far and too deep in my throat to make me have any kind of relief by the action.

Lovin' what I'm tastin'

Still, I like not being able to do anything. Gives me time to think. I never could do it, being worried about even surviving on to the day after.

Venom on my tongue

Dependant at times

I'm fully conscious of the acid in my mouth, and I love it. Tastes like the ugly tears I've shed in my useless 17 years. Ah, this is too good. How ironic, I've come to appreciate the thing I hated the most.

This beautiful, addictive feeling.

Poisonous vibration

The capsule shakes, more needles get into my arms. One goes in my cheek, stained with uncontrollable tears.

Helped my body run

I remember the one time I tried to escape. And I almost succeeded. But seeing the light at the end of the tunnel was too good to be true.

I'm runnin' for my life,

Runnin' for my life

I can't explain how I found the strength to break the restraint that kept me here, I just did. But it didn't last long. I was suffocating after all. No one could run more than a couple of meters with all that toxins in the lungs. Like I have now.

Sippin' on straight chlorine, let the vibes slide over me

This beat is a chemical, beat is a chemical

When I leave don't save my seat, I'll be back when it's all complete

The moment is medical, moment is medical

The process starts again. More silence. I focus on the memory of my hopeless escape. Why did I do it? In the end, I had nothing to live for.

Right, when I only had these laboratories as a source of knowledge, how could I have the wish to be out? It was probably because I didn't know anything about the outside. It was the thirst for freedom. But now? I have nothing to fight for. I saw what I wanted and met the people I so desperately wanted to talk to. A disappointing experience, to say the least. When they found out I was a testing mannequin, they looked at me like everyone here always did. A monster. A beast, a creature that could go feral if it was so much touched.

They all did.

I blink, and an almost forgotten face in all the hatred surrounding my mind comes to thought.

Shinso.

He was the only ray of light in the ugly darkness of the world, the sole person who saw past the scars on my skin.

Oh, yes. He'd be worth fighting for. All of his touches, every little inch of affection he deserves makes it worth the fight.

Sippin' on straight chlorine

I inhale profoundly. I've decided. If not for myself, I'll do it for him. I'll get out of this hell hole and be free again. And this time, I won't be caught.

Fall out of formation

Without making it noticeable, I slowly start to move my arms, testing what I can and cannot control. I can move almost everything, but the skin is completely numb, I've lost all sensitivity.

Well, not like I care. This could be actually good, I won't feel any pain even if they shoot me.

I plan my escape from walls they confined

I close my eyes and free my mind of everything useless. I have to make a plan, I can't just burst out and hope to be lucky. Think, think! What can you do? I could break out and take the nearest syringe to get to a weapon, but after that? More information, I need more! All the simulations in my mind end all in the same way: failure. There must be something– Oh. Yes, that could work. It kinda looks like my savior, that little annoying finger belonging to an armed guard.

Ok, time to put it in action.

I gather all my strength, and pull myself up with all the strings still attached to me. I focus on the hit I have to give to the glass with my head to make it break.

Ah, it worked.

Rebel red carnation

The pieces of the capsule cap I broke are impaling my arms, but I don't care, I don't even feel them. Blood is pouring out, almost too blue to be recognizable if not for the metallic smell it has.

Grows while I decay

This isn't exactly the best thing that could happen. Losing blood means a higher chance of fainting and less resistance. Damn it.

I jump out taking the shards of glass and throwing them around. At least I can make a bit of people incapable like this. None of them has to leave the room, I can't have the alarm going off just as I lifted a finger.

I pull the guard in front of me by the hand.

"This is the finger that likes to tap as if I'm a fish in a bowl, huh? I can't let you keep it then!"

Is this my voice? It sounds foreign, a stranger that talks like me. Well, no matter, I can't be distracted now by futile things.

With a little bit of sickening happiness, I cut off the hand of the soldier with the last shard and take his gun.

I'm runnin' for my life

Runnin' for my life

Yeah, I'm runnin' for my life

Runnin' for my life

I spin and start to run, bare feet resounding against the floor tiles. My breath is ragged, and I'm opening my mouth like a gaping fish out of water.

Had you in my coat pocket, where I kept my rebel red

Come on, come on! Think of him, he'll give you strength! I grit my teeth as the lights start to flicker and go red. Tch, they were able to give the alarm.

I felt I was invincible, you wrapped around my head

It doesn't matter, I can still play. In my mind now the only thing that goes round and round are the words he once said to me;

"I love you"

Like a broken record, my head plays and replays the memory, as if to give me confidence. And it works. I don't care if I slip, I just run and run and run.

Now different lives I lead, my body lives on lead

I want to be with him again, I want to be the idiot who thought he was joking when he asked her out, I want to be that girl again!!

But it feels as if that is a totally different universe, where a lucky distorted version of me can be happy. But not the me right now.

The mixture of chemicals is taking control of me, my eyes are starting to see black dots in the corners of my vision.

The last two lines may read incorrect until said

No, it's not finished until I say so. I refuse to give up now that I have something to strive for. I didn't get drugged just to trip at the last second. I. Won't. Fail.

The lead is terrible in flavor

I want to puke. And technically, I could. No plastic tubes are here to stop me now. No, no, bad thoughts. Just push it down and you'll be fine. Standing up, I gulp and dash down the white hall again.

But now you double as a papermaker

As I run behind a corner to avoid some bullets, I'm taken down by memories again. Oh great, a panic attack. Just what I needed. The rush of colors in my head is fabricating episodes that never existed. Words thrown at me by my stupid brain created from layers of anxiety.

And the first ones, always making me freeze in my steps, are said by the lips I love the most, twisting in a cruel smirk, a double faced mask covering the features of the boy I adore;

"You're a monster, how could I ever love you?"

Supported by the real reminder of the only times we ever argued, the fake statement creeps fast through my mind, breaking the last bit of self restraint I have.

I despise you sometimes

I shout, I have to move or these shadows lurking in my mind won't leave me alone. I start to talk in my head, to remain sane. At least, as sane as I could be.

"Hey Shinso, you know what? I hate you. For making me do this, for making me wish for a life that wasn't mine to begin with!"

But it's a lie. I love him, so much it hurts.

I love to hate the fight and you in my life is like

And the actual discussions we had, I hated them with a passion. I could never be mad at you. How could I? The happiness I felt with you was so overwhelming.

I could only see you. Kinda like

"Sippin' on straight chlorine" ,

let the vibes slide over me

This beat is a chemical, beat is a chemical

When I leave don't save my seat, I'll be back when it's all complete

The moment is medical, moment is medical

Sippin' on straight chlorine

I huff, this is taking a huge toll on my body. I don't know how many turns I've taken, how many people I've killed, and I can't bring myself to care. I just want to find the damn exit in this labyrinth of walls and closed windows. I want to be mad. I want to let myself be consumed by the rage that wants to erase this hell from existence. I want to, but I can't. For two simple reasons. Blood loss and toxins. I'm running on adrenaline and suppressor chemicals, the only quirk I have right now is the will to save my ass.

Let the vibe, let the vibe

Beat is a chemical, yeah

My heart is beating frantically, maybe I can finally go apeshit?

Let the vibe, let the vibe

Moment is medical, yeah

No, I have to stay sane. I don't want to die here because I couldn't control my rage.

Sippin' on straight chlorine

Let the vibe, let the vibe

Beat is a chemical, yeah

I can see it, I can see the emergency exit sign light! It's so close, I can get there–

My feet skidder on the floor as I'm stopped by a loud explosion.

Out of hole in the wall, guided by the purple hair I recognize immediately, in all their glory stand my classmates from UA. How…? They're not supposed to be here, they're supposed to hate me! No, no, this is all wrong-

"Sorry for being late, love. This place was hard to find."

Let the vibe, let the vibe

Moment is medical, yeah

And I can see it. The dark circles under his eyes are even more accentuated than usual, he must have stayed nights awake just to find me. I'm so happy he's here, the tears come to my eyes in a reflex.

I'm so sorry, I forgot you

Behind him, in their full geared suits, my friends start to fire at the soldiers. Kirishima gives me one of his usual toothy grins. How could I forget the stupid nicknames, full of affection, the late night games, the long shopping sessions? How could I ever think the ones who lured me out of my shell could turn against me?

Let me catch you up to speed

I run towards them. I throw my gun, I don't even care anymore. I just want to get to the blinding light they all emit, a promise of salvation I desperately want to grasp. I'm almost there, I'm almost there!

A bang makes me gasp. A bullet, straight through my heart. I let out a blood-curdling scream. Ah, I'm falling. I look up ahead, Shinso's violet widened eyes are staring at me, his mouth open. I'm waiting for the impact, but he catches me. Sweet, sweet Shinso. Always going to be my knight in shining armor, huh? He turns me to face the ceiling as I lay motionless in his arms. I watch as he shouts for a paramedic.

He then turns to me;

"Everything's going to be ok, don't worry, you'll be fine-"

I stop him. I just want to tell him one last thing:

"I've been tested like the ends of

A weathered flag that's by the sea"

All the pain is summed up in a sentence. Almost too easy to describe the amount of suffering. And yet, it fulfills its purpose.

I ask him one last thing.

"Can you build my house with pieces?"

I'm just a chemical

Can you promise me you'll still do everything you told me? Will you continue to live without me, happy? Please do. All the things we wanted to try together, do them for me. And the smile you hid all these years, show it. To someone who can brighten up your days like I won't be able to do.

"No, no, no! We have to do it together, you promised!"

"Can you build my house with pieces?"

I'm just a chemical

I take my hand up to his cheek, once full of wrinkles because of the joyful laugh only I was able to hear. I wipe his tears away.

Promise me. Please.

"N-no, I don't want to, there's still enough time! S-see? The ambulance is coming!"

"Can you build my house with pieces?"

I'm just a chemical

He starts sobbing, and places his hand above mine.

I'm fine with this. An appropriate death for a cursed life. I know he'll move on. He's strong. He'll achieve his dreams and so more. Even though I won't be there to see it. I ask him one more time.

"Can you build my house with pieces?"

At last, he promises.

"I-I swear I will."

Good boy. Ah, it's time. I can feel my conscience slipping away. I'm so, so tired. I want to sleep. As I close my eyes, the last thing I see are his vibrant purple irises full of tears. At least, their comforting color will accompany me to the other side. If there is one for me, that is. There could never be heaven for a creature like me.

After all,

I'm just a chemical

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