deepdepressingtruth - Tumblr blog

deepdepressingtruth · 14 hours

Text

I post and try so hard…. But nobody cares

I look through the things I’ve posted and said and different creative things I’ve tried…. But none of it matters…. Nobody likes anything I do, rather I’d music, art, school, or life… I want to end it, so I can stop feeling so useless, purposeless and alone.

0 notes

deepdepressingtruth · 14 hours

Text

I work and work and work, but none of it ever means anything 😞

1 note · View note

deepdepressingtruth · 14 hours

Text

Despite all I do, none of it matters 🤷🏾‍♂️

0 notes

deepdepressingtruth · 11 days

Text

I’m tired of being an afterthought to people

5 notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 13 days

Text

If anyone feels alone, and needs music to ease depression. Here’s a song I wrote, about how hard it is to live. How hard it is to deal with life. How hard it is to hurt those around you. To hurt those who you love.

I wrote this song and it’s a part of a project called “Dark Matter” written about being alone and the difficulties of trying to achieve things and go out in the world…. The irony is, as much as I go out and am around people, I still feel so overwhelmingly alone.

This song summarizes so many things for me.

If you listen, let me know. So I can know.

If you hate it. Let me know that too.

If you enjoy it. Tell me. And I hope you find peace.

0 notes

deepdepressingtruth · 19 days

Text

I hate when someone knows they did you wrong… and when you try to confront them (even before you can) they use “emotional overwhelm” and personal situations completely outside of the point and situation to overshadow how YOU feel in a situation… like.. I’m trying to get you to see how terrible YOU made me feel today and yesterday…… but now I have to console you through whatever separate, unrelated devastating news you’re trying to process that happened 2 weeks ago with completely different people 🙄….

Ugh…. Once again… bottle up my feelings and just keep it moving… 🙄

but you supposedly “love me”.. like wtf…

This relationship is BIG ASS 🚮

1 note · View note

deepdepressingtruth · 19 days

Text

liability by lorde.

7K notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 19 days

Text

“How do you know someone is for you? They bring peace you haven’t found anywhere else. They support your effort. They water your growth.”

— Unknown

4K notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 19 days

Text

Ways To Cope: How to Handle Overwhelming Memories & Extreme Feelings

I. Controlling your environment

When you start to feel panicked & overwhelmed, try some of these things to make your environment feel safer:

White noise/comforting soundscapes like rainforest or ocean waves

Soft lighting/reduce the light source

Heating pad/warm wash cloth to face

Ask yourself, "how can I help ease the discomfort?"

Talk/ vent in safe spaces or to a pet or even just say it out loud to yourself

Allow yourself the physical body expression (ie face scrunching, crying, shake your arms, stuff that allows your body to cry too)

How do you define comfort? What sorts of things comfort you? Comfort foods, movies, TV shows, stuffed animals, blankets, soft hobbies? Or maybe you wanna be more destructive?

Stimulate your senses- perfumes, incense, candles, aromatics, lemon drops, sweet & sour candy, slime, play-doh, squeeze stress balls, rubix cube, fidgets, soft fabric, music, soundscapes, visual lights (if safe), darkness, fishtank screensavers on YouTube, just to name a few. Any ideas you'd like to try out?

Doomscroll to avoid ur feelings

Go for a walk

Stand up & stretch

Wiggle & dance

Take a nap

Change ur surroundings (walk to a different room)

If u struggle w suicidal thoughts & urges to self harm, re-evaluate ur home space to feel more safer. Remove all ur razors, ur weapons, knives, extension cords, glass, anything that makes u feel unsafe. Ask someone safe to hold your meds. Re-adjust your space accordingly (ie plastic silverware, surge protectors, disposable razors, etc)

Call ur therapist or call a local WARM line.

II. Controlling your inner voice

How you talk to yourself when you're stressed out & in a panic highly affects the way you feel. Thoughts like, "this is stupid. I shouldn't feel this way. I feel so useless. Nobody loves me." This is your inner child speaking from all the pain and misery that you endured. And you gotta learn how to be nice to your baby, because you were just a baby. When we are experiencing flashbacks & memories, that part of you that went through that-- that part is asking to be loved and held through that pain so you can finally feel it out.

So how do we comfort our inner child during this time? You might need to hear and say some of these things out loud to yourself:

Im so sorry you had to see that

It should have never happened

I know it hurts

This is so painful to go through

I love you

They betrayed us

We didn't deserve that

That was scary

I feel scared

I feel unsafe

I needed more from them

I needed you, too

That was horrible

That was horrific

I wish I could leave

I wish I could run away

No! Don't touch me!

I am not alone anymore

I will hold you safe

I will cherish every moment with you from now until forever

I will find ways to protect you

I will always listen to what you have to say

I will never betray you again

We can get through this together

We are safe now

That was exhausting

It may help to look into trauma therapy and other sources to help you talk about and understand what you went through on a deeper level. But at the core, these are the kinds of validation you need to hear to get through what you're going through. It hurts like hell that no one can really give you that or even understand what you're going through, so please try to be a little kinder and understanding of yourself through this process. You are worth the effort of healing. You can get through this. We can survive this together.

|||. Reducing the panic

The work is not done yet. Now let's take a moment to do some self care.

Take a deep breath

Notice the tension in your body- is your chest tight? Are your hands shaking? Is your body paralyzed out of fear?

Take another deep breath

Ask yourself permission to touch your body in this moment and honor your response.

If you're not safe with touch, proceed to the next step. If you are okay with touch, try these coping skills:

butterfly hugs- put a hand over ur heart and gently pat

Cross ur arms over your chest and hold ur shoulders

Rub ur shoulders in a soothing motion

Rub your legs in a soothing motion

What other ways would you like to be touched? Re-introduce yourself to safe touch in these moments. You are absolutely allowed to touch & comfort your own body-- but only if you'd like to do so.

If touch is a no-go, then there are still other coping skills we can do to help our bodies release these pent up emotions:

Sway gently from side to side

Stand up and stomp your legs

Allow your body to shake

Allow your face to scrunch up & express your pain/disgust/etc

Do a set of 5-10 jumping jacks if needed

Punch the air

Cry, scream, and shout

Allow yourself to make noise, exasperated sighs and moans of pain

Roll your neck

Wiggle your arms

Roll your shoulders

Clench & unclench ur fists

Remember to take slow deep breaths while moving

In the moments after a panic, you might feel exhausted beyond belief. It might help to take a break and do something fun. Video games, puzzles, snuggle w a blanket, something soothing from your list above

Keeping a journal can help you vent and keep track of your memories & progress

Talk with a trauma informed therapist about EMDR

Follow your favorite self help blogs that promote awareness for trauma recovery and somatic healing

Write down your favorite affirmations & stick em on ur fridge

IV. Random distraction techniques & coping skills

Hold a piece of ice in your hand; throw it down your back

Jump down a YouTube rabbit hole. My favorites are carpet cleaning videos, power washing videos, seafloor exploration, jungle living, stan twitter, etc.

Jigsaw puzzles

Reading a good book

Tv/movies

Video games

Baking

Gardening

Making jewelry/arts & crafts

Teach yourself something new

Word search puzzles, sudoku, wordle, etc

Card games like solitaire & free cell

Fantasy card games like Yu-Gi-Oh!, MTG, & Pokemon

Start a collection

Cry

Daydream

Learn how to cook

Be nice to a stranger

List your positive qualities

Draw/Color/Paint

Write a story or poetry

Join a fandom

Go for a walk

Find your local recreational center

Go to the park

Play Pokemon Go

Talk to someone you trust

Organize your space

Look for free classes at your local community college

Visit the library, they always have social events

Volunteer at an animal shelter

Volunteer at a retirement home

Stuffed animals

Get a pet

Volunteer at the local food bank

Be gentle with yourself

Tell yourself "I can make it through this"

Please remember that you are loved, you are safe, & you are worth the effort.

🌺

97 notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

May you never again get attached to anyone who isn’t for you. May you find a love who makes you laugh, never lets the flirting phase end, and gives you unquestionable loyalty. You deserve a love that calms your heart, mind, and nervous system — a love that never hurts you.

16K notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

“Sometimes you just have to stay silent because no words can explain what’s going on in your heart and mind.”

— Unknown

707 notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

Normalize seeing someone's lack of effort as their lack of interest in you regardless of what they tell you. Giving you all of the right words, but none of the right actions is called manipulation. When a person wants to be with you, they prove it.

9K notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

Your soul knows. It will tell you when it's time to distance yourself from those who no longer align with you mentally, emotionally, physically, or energetically.

8K notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

Each day I’m reminded why I should off myself

625 notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

I think killing myself will fix me lol

594 notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

I live in an isolated bubble… in a relationship, step-parenting someone else’s child…. I’m constantly feeling disconnected, alone, tired, and ignored.

My girl lies constantly to “ease” my anxieties… only, I know she’s lying… and she refuses to change… things like making promises to spend time together, when I know she has to go pick her child up…

Things like only wanting to spend time if we’re going somewhere or spending money….

Things like saying she doesn’t have friends, yet has cousins and friends she goes for drinks with and sees…

She tells me she hates it, she doesn’t wanna go, she only drinks to get through spending Yung with them….

Yet with me, she sleeps… with me, I get broken plans and promises… with me, we don’t take pictures, post on social media… we don’t do anything significant…

Yet, when her son has a game, she suddenly remembers to bring a camera… with me she claims she can never remember to bring a camera to remember memorable moments… she claims she prefers to “live in the moment”…

She’s posting all over FB and Snapchat… she’s sharing and proud of her son…. I’m growing resentful and tired of being disrespected by her son, and lied to by her… she’s infatuated by “having a man” instead of understanding how to love me… her idea of a relationship is detached from actually having a relationship, and having a partner..

I’m stuck thinking, “Fuck.. is it jealousy? Am I jealous of her son and the genuine love she has for him?…. Am I wrong for feeling hidden in her life? Am I wrong for feeling like I’m just a walking paycheck and when I don’t want to spend money (because we’re saving for a house…) then we just don’t hang out….. but she LOVES her son, and am I wrong for wanting to be loved too?….

When I try to spend time with her… suddenly she’s busy, her child needs attention, her cousins are calling… tons of things…. I’m just frustrated af and I’m tired of the feelings it all gives me…

3 notes · View notes

deepdepressingtruth · 20 days

Text

Desperately wanting to be someone’s favorite person…

#bpd culture is #bpd safe #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #depressing life #kill my mind #sorry for being depressing #actually bpd #bpd problems #depressing shit

218 notes · View notes