yourthoughtsreallymatter

[yourthoughtsreallymatter]

Hi! I'm so glad I saw your blog. I've been really needing to talk about this lately but I've lacked an outlet to do so. It just feels good to get some of it out. (sorry in advance for the ramble to follow)

One of my very close friends, whom I've known for years, recently mentioned in passing that she'd gone off her depression medication. I had been speculating that she had for about a month. (it's worth noting here that when it came up she was talking about how she had no more issues with mental health etc at this point, which caught me off guard) It's ultimately none of my business and no big deal, other than that her behavior has been different enough to the point where I noticed a change. Not big, just less energized, enthusiastic, and honestly a little mean? I never doubted her decision, but the subtle changes have made me feel things about our friendship that I never have before.

I'm very sensitive, although I often don't have the luxury of feeling things fully/won't let myself until I trust someone, like the way I trust my friend. These subtle changes have made me feel awful in some ways. It makes me remember my middle/elementary school friendships and how I felt like an accessory to other girls. I didn't feel real. I thought that if I wore the wrong thing or said something they didn't agree with that no one would want to be my friend anymore. I've yet to fully process how much those experiences hurt me, but this is starting to bring a lot of these insecurities back up.

When we spend time together, I get the sense that she's annoyed with me, I'm constantly doing something wrong. Sometime's I'll get directions wrong and she's frustrated and yells a bit, or she waves me off with her hand. Sometimes she's on her phone when we hang out instead of talking to me. (Of course, some of this is bound to happen in normal friendships, but this has been constant in recent months) Then I go home and cry about it. I tell myself to spend some time away from her to regroup. We'll make plans again and I'm excited because I want to spend time with my best friend. Then I get hurt again. I would do anything in our friendship to make her happy. I'm aware that I'm making too much of the situation. I know I shouldn't take all her actions so seriously, and everyone has little moments of feeling that they need to let out.

But she makes me so sad. I love her so much and we have had many good moments, but it's become so difficult. I haven't mentioned this to her in any serious way, I've only told her after she let me know that she wasn't taking her meds that I'd had speculations. On top of the sadness, I feel so selfish. Of course I want her to be happy, but do I want her to be happy just to make me feel secure in our friendship? If she feels better now than she did before, then I can be satisfied knowing she's better off. I just don't know if I'll ever adjust, if we can still be friends in the same way. I struggle with bringing this up with her, as I don't want her to feel guilty for doing what's right for her mental health. All I want to do is the right thing for the both of us. I've been taking another break from hanging out with her, but I know I'll need to talk about this eventually. It just hurts when someone you trust is mean to you, and you have no way of defending yourself. I could be making way too much of this whole scenario, and it could ultimately have more to do with us both changing than her getting off medication. I just want to support her the best I can while minimizing hurt for myself. But I have no idea what to do now.

Oh my god is this ask long! I'm really sorry, but I extend my many many thanks if you made it all the way through. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here, but writing this out has already made me feel better :)

Dealing with change in friendships + friendship dynamics

Hi anon, it means alot that you trusted enough to write this out. I can see where you’re coming from

It seems like your friend is doing better, but she could def still be struggling behind the scenes. People who are mean are often unhappy with parts of themselves. I say this from my own experiences and also from seeing others like this.

However, how she’s doing you is bogus asl. Even if she’s doing that out of her own emotions or issues, it is no excuse to treat you badly. And I think it’ll continue if you keep allowing it

The next time you feel she mistreats you, CALL IT OUT. Dont let it slide. Obvs don’t be rude towards her but politely and firmly tell her you don’t like that she did that. If she brushes off your confrontation, she doesn’t fr respect you. I think some communication will help you

People change. For worse or for better. I understand that you have a big attachment to her tho since she’s been your friend for so long. I think your view of her is more rooted in the past. This can cause resentment from her, in the past I resented my old friends for only viewing me as the past version of myself when I was a much different person by then. That may be the case for your friend. And you likely changed too. This isnt a bad thing ofc but it will affect your friendship with her

If she continues mistreating you, don’t be afraid to give up the friendship. Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away, esp when a friendship has caused you sm stress and trouble.

With what you said about being insecure about being friends with other girls, I get what you mean. I became pretty and many girls wanted to be my friend specifically cause of that. It made me worry that if i made one wrong mistake, they wouldn’t fw me anymore. But if someone is a fr friend, small things wouldn’t matter. Keep that in mind.

Also, I had a friendship similar to yours where I had lots of good moments with the girl but I also felt lots of hurt when she mistreated me. I cared too much about it and I constantly chased after her friendship and approval, and it ruined my confidence and self esteem. Eventually, she ended up ghosting me. While I don’t regret the friendship, what I did regret the most was being too emotional and putting in energy for someone who jus wasn’t feeling me. And in the end I didn’t resent her for not reciprocating. If this happened to me now, I would have just taken it for what it is and left her alone. I think detachment helps you alot, even if it is someone you really care about. If you leave thijgs be and take them for what they are, it saves alot of stress HAHA

If you want to talk more, feel free to dm me. I got you

#anonymous #female mental health #mental health #mental health awareness #friend advice #friendships #mental wellbeing #positive mental attitude #rant #self love #friend ask #ask blog #mental health help

[yourthoughtsreallymatter]

ah-- not sure how to separate "self-worth" from "comparison," like ik ur not supposed to feel good abt urself by looking down on others but idk how else to?? like how am i any good if im not better than someone else? this goes both ways btw- im wildly inferior AND superior than others in my head, and i just don't know how to separate myself from everyone around me when it comes to acomplishments, personality, etc

any help would b greatly appreciated but absolutely feel no pressure to answer, thanks fam

self comparison

Annon, you don’t know how much I have struggled with this exact issue.

This is speaking from my own personal experience, but I used to feel I was “less than” other people, and during the time I felt this way, I wasn’t attractive.

However, now this problem has come in the form of thinking I’m “better than” other time, and now I’m pretty and I get validation about my looks (from boys and girls).

I’ve had this issue for a long time, because my parents would often compare me to others, and it led me to doing the same thing.

What I will say is that comparison to other people indicates insecurity, though the extent depends on the person

This is not easy to do, but try and focus your comparisons on yourself. Compare yourself now to your past self. Compare your current self to what you think your future self will be.

For instance, when I first started working out at the gym, I’d compare myself to others. However, this wasn’t right to do because I was just a beginner to it. But over time, I’d compare myself to my past self (like how well I did at the gym compared to a few months back) and it made me more positive about myself and my progress.

Your own progress and development is what matters, and I think that’s what you should use as a means of measuring your own self worth.

#anonymous #female #female mental health #mental health #mental health awareness #mental wellbeing #blog post #blog #self improvement #self esteem #self growth #self comparison #comparison

[yourthoughtsreallymatter]

hi omg i havent really been sure of what to put in this blog for the past while but i promise i will be posting soon!! its gonna be some of my experiences and also some research :)

[yourthoughtsreallymatter]

I hate how insecure I am, I hate that I care about guys so much I hate that I enjoy their validation and I am embarrassed that I can’t stop creating stupid scenarios in my head. I am sad and pathetic and It hurts more bc I am fully aware of all of this... wish I could be normal and not fall for random guys out of nowhere I am such a hopeless romantic I guess

Hey anon, what you said kinda reminded me of how I used to feel. I hope my advice helps a bit, and feel free to message me.

I want to tell you that boys are dumb and to not worry about them, but its completely normal to want them to like you ngl.

For the most part though, boys are MADDD dumb. Especially younger ones. They act dumb to girls and they’re very immature. But there are good ones, and the right one will come around. Your dream boy is most likely busy working out and getting his education so he’ll be mad fine and perfect when he meets you.

In the meantime, fall in love with something else. The nice thing in life is that there’s alot to fall in love with — fall in love with yourself, a hobby you like, an artist you listen to, a series you love watching, or pretty scenery around you. The more you invest in things like that, the happier fyou’ll be without needing a boy’s love.

This is just my opinion, but I think the best time to get into a relationship is when you’re already in love with yourself and your life, and the guy is just a bonus. When you dont feel good about yourself, you’ll take BS from some ugly loser boy, and it’ll hurt you more in the long run.

I hope you live your life and not worry about them too much. I just know you’re mad fine and too good to worry about loser boys LMAO. And message me if you want!!!

#anonymous #female #female mental health #mental health awareness #mental health help #mental health #safe space #rant #mental wellbeing #positive mental attitude #self growth #self healing #tw #insecurity #boys

[yourthoughtsreallymatter]

rules / info

Most importantly, I want this page to be a safe place for others to be comfortable in. If i see ANY harrassment or mean things, it’s on sight.

I’ll try my best to reply and give the best advice I can, but I’m no pro. I’ll try to post responses ASAP.

This page is more targeted for girls, but I don’t mind guys ranting. I just might not be good at answering since I’m a girl lol

If you want to, you can DM me privately and we can talk!!

Please don’t send anything graphic or too triggering (or at least put a TW).

I don’t want anything that’s hateful towards others being submitted

That’s all I can think of for now! I hope this blog can be of some help :)

#mental health awareness #female mental health #female #mental health #mental help #safe space #rant #anonymous #comfort #positive mental attitude #mentalheathawareness #mental health help #chill

[yourthoughtsreallymatter]

about me + blog goal/purpose

about me

My name is Dania! I’m 16 and I’m a highschool junior.

My main interests right now are clothes, makeup, manga, writing, and music. My favorite manga of all time is Slam Dunk ( my favs in that are Eiji Sawakita and Hisashi Mitsui, for yall that know of SD ).

I run a slam dunk headcanons account, it’s @slamdunkhcs

I’m an extrovert!! I like talking to people and socializing

I work at Dunkin Donuts LMAO, I have a love/hate relationship with it

I LOVE cats, I have a pet cat and he’s the LOML

I live in the US, but I want to move to Turkey for university. I visited Istanbul in December 2021 and I basically fell in love with it

I’m trying to learn how to play basketball right now

blog goal / purpose

Tbh my motive for making this blog isn’t very solid.

I lost a friend I really valued because I said something really shitty. I made a “joke” about Rihanna’s abuse, and by the time I reflected on how awful it was to do that, it was too late.

I can’t take what I had said, but I want to do the next best thing and learn from it. And I want to help others and become more considerate

The other reason was because I had done a project towards the end of my sophomore year with some friends. We made a website where females could anonymously vent about their problems and others could reply anonymously. This site never got used, but it made me think “What if i made a tumblr blog with all that”

And here i am now lol. My goal for this blog is to make a space for girls to safely vent their feelings and to try to help the best I can.

I will upload another post soon with rules/info but feel free to submit to that inbox rn!!!

#mental health #rant #mental health help #slam dunk #positive mental attitude #help #anonymous #safe space #female mental health #female #about me #mental health awareness #follow #about requests