thereforeiamm

[thereforeiamm]

“You are so good. So good, you’re always feeling so much. And sometimes it feels like you’re gonna bust wide open from all the feeling, don’t it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it.”

— Silas House

[thereforeiamm]

no, i don’t have a “dream job.” i want to spend my days reading and writing and lazing in the afternoon sun. i want to bake bread and brownies and apple crumble. i want to grow my own vegetables and plant a rainbow of flowers. i want to be with nature. i want to be at peace.

[thereforeiamm]

Does being different from the other person hold you back from loving them as hard as you can? There have been endless possible romances in books and movies between unlikely matches. Humans falling in love with aliens, plants, pets, and even artificially intelligent operating systems. Everything that has prevailed through these concepts, is that love can be between anyone, anywhere. It does not matter if you are as different as day and night. It is only important that you can belong together. Maybe at dusk, or at dawn. That, precisely, is what is exciting and maybe terrifying about love: It is unpredictable. It can strike you at a moment as random as the one where a few raindrops decide to reflect light into a rainbow. People can fall out of love as easily too. That is why every second, a relationship makes or breaks around the world. Imagine how many lips would be whispering that it is over at the same time as some others whisper 'I love you'. When you think about it, it is scary. That is why we don't. That is why most of us are in denial; We refuse to think about the real phenomenon that is love and chooses to succumb to the cocoon that is a naive, materialistic, and satisfying 'idea' of love. But what is most amazing is that love can happen between two people who are opposites. Not unlike the saying,' Opposites attract'.But that saying only skims the surface of possibilities. Some people become uncomfortable about the differences between them and grow apart. Some accept it and try to evolve together as a single entity. But the fact that two people CAN fall in love despite, or because of the differences between them is a magnificent truth to accept and dwell on. Maybe that is why Samantha tells Theodore how their differences are why she can love him more as a person. It doesn't matter that the love they have is one between a human and an operating system. There, differences do not matter. Only love does.

#her movie #movie scenes #my writing #love quotes #writers on tumblr

[thereforeiamm]

To my ex best friend

You know I hate the word 'ex'. It makes me really uncomfortable. Just like some old memories we created. I still don't know why you left. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that I can't call you my best friend anymore. You knew I was at the lowest point of my life. You knew that you were all I had left. You knew I needed you. But you still chose to leave. Yes, I know I was the one who told you to leave.Twice.But you should've known that I didn't mean it. At that moment, all I wanted was to be alone.That didn't mean I wanted to be lonely.That didn't mean I wanted you to leave forever.. Sometimes I wonder if I was the toxic one in our friendship. But you know what? Deep inside, I know I wasn't. God forbid, I talked about my problems once. That was only because I wanted somebody to listen.No, I wanted YOU to listen. I wanted YOU to care. I wanted you to tell me that you understood, that you are going to be there for me, to help me through this shithole. But you felt that the conversation was centering around me. I admit it was, but isn't that what friends do? Talk about themselves, joy and sorrows, to each other? But you left. And how! You blocked me from every known social media platform ever, and you ignored my calls. Until that day, when you called me to say that you were not mad at me and that you didn't want to fight anymore. My heart fluttered with hope. I thought you were coming back. But you were not. You told me that you don't want me to contact you ever again. I remember that moment vividly, you know. That was when I felt myself breaking and the world shattering to a thousand little pieces around me. Five years of friendship, brought to an end by a phone call and a cold sentence-"Please don't contact me ever again." I really wish you hadn't left when I needed you the most. What I lost was not just my best and only friend, but a part of myself and my past. That void is going to be there in my heart. Suffocating and Cold.Always.Forever. Love and best regards, your ex-best friend.

#ex best friend #ex bestie #friendship #heartbreak #my writing #open letter #writers on tumblr

[thereforeiamm]

Letting go

Letting go is not easy, especially when you have a great emotional quotient. When someone you immensely love walks out on you abruptly, you feel disoriented. You feel numerous emotions at the same time, you victimize yourself, you feel despair, you ask no one in particular- why me?⁣ ⁣ The initial tendency is to blame yourself. You start thinking about all the things you might have said and done- you dissect each conversation, each moment and wonder what you did wrong. During that period, you are still so much in love, and you feel that you will never be complete without them. That’s when you start clinging to them. That’s when you keep texting them desperately, pleading them to stay. You become so vulnerable and dependent.⁣ ⁣ After a lot of pleading, you finally begin to see that they are not coming back. It comes as a huge blow because you realize that you are the only person left in love. Honestly, deep inside, you are tired. So you decide to try hard and forget them. You try to keep yourself busy. You try to be okay, but you still text them from time to time and end up getting hurt.⁣ ⁣ It is after a couple of days that maturity kicks in. You stop crying. You stop victimizing yourself. You realize that falling out of love is not a crime. For them, you weren’t important enough to stay for. You realize that letting them go completely is the only way both of you can be happy. You stop fighting the memories, you let them come. You realize that memories are not ones to forget, but ones to cherish. And on a random day, you see their story on social media where they’re having a good moment, and you feel happy for them. You don’t blame them or yourself. That’s when you know you’re beginning to truly let go.⁣ ⁣ You slowly learn to be in peace with their absence. You slowly learn to let go.⁣

#breakup #heartbreak #relationship #dating #love #my writing #writers on tumblr #writer #lettingyougo #letting go #moving on

[thereforeiamm]

To the one who finally loved me back...

You were my dream. A dream I never thought would come true, yet a dream which captivated my entire being. A dream which I obsessively held on to. You were my deepest secret, my guilty pleasure. I spent my nights thinking about you, wondering how incredible it would be to call you mine. Lying awake, I imagined you and me, together, deep in love. You kissed me to sleep each night, and you kissed me awake each morning. I knew all your expressions by heart. I fell in love harder, each time you smiled. I used to laugh the hardest (inwardly) to all your silly jokes. Every time you bit your lips lost in thoughts, you made me want to kiss you. I loved how your eyes sparkled when you were passionate about something. I loved how you could be so effortlessly confident in your skin. You laughed with mirth even when you were made fun of and I admired you for it. Every page in my diary was filled with you. I’d treasured even the most inconspicuous, immaterial moments we inadvertently had, in those pages. My naive heart prayed for you and the possibility of ‘us’ all the time. I watched your every action furtively. No post you made on social media went unnoticed or unliked by me. No photo of yours escaped my hidden collection. Oh, it surprises me how ardently I loved you. “Why didn’t you let me know?”, you ask now. I was hesitant. Apprehensive. I did not know if I was worthy of your love. “why did you cling on to this dream, then?”, you ask now. The idea of us enthralled me. It completed me. I just couldn’t let go. “If only I’d known..”, you say now, and I feel so blessed. You don’t know how elated you make me feel. You have no idea how blissful it is that I know you love me now. _“It was just a matter of time. When I finally got to know you, I fell in love too.”, you say, and I melt. You are everything that I’d looked for. You are everything that I’d wanted. I love you. You are my granted wish, and I will cherish it with all my heart.

#love quotes #dating #relationship #romance #open letter #writing #writers on tumblr #writeups

[thereforeiamm]

After.

When you text me after a long time and ask how I am, I say that I'm fine. We make small conversation. We talk about all the changes that have happened over the years while I try to be nonchalant. Little do you know, talking to you has freed a bundle of memories. When I say I'm fine, I'm lying. Each memory that I thought I'd moved past, has come back to haunt me. Talking to you has brought back vivid, nameless emotions. Even when I seem to be involved in the meaningless conversation we're having, my mind is wandering off. I have so many questions I want to ask you. I want to ask you why you left. I want to ask you if you'd lied about falling out of love. I want to ask you how it is possible to fall out of love so quickly and painlessly and to leave someone with whom you'd created a bunch of warm memories, so effortlessly. I want to ask you if you think about us sometimes. About what we could've been. About all the little things we cherished together. I want to ask you if you still remember the petite details of my face. I want to ask you if you remember the exact shade of brown that my eye was. I want to ask you a million infinitesimal things. But I do not. I send you an emoji with a small smile. I want to ask you if you've met somebody else. I want to ask you if you're in love. I want to ask you if you've been certainly happy without me. I want to ask you if you still think leaving was the right decision. I want to ask why you are texting me after all this while. I want to ask you if you miss me. I want to ask you if there's been a void in your heart too after we slowly stopped talking and indulged in a day to day routine without each other in it. I just want to ask you, so badly, if leaving was worth everything. But I do not. Because if I do, we will have another conversation that we'll hate. We will go back to accusing and arguing and will end up hurting each other, all over again. Right now, life has an equilibrium. I do not ask any of the questions I want to ask you, because I'm afraid I will disrupt the peaceful rhythm of my own life. With time, comes more maturity. And that is what 'moving on' means. It doesn't mean we stop thinking about the other person entirely. It doesn't mean we stop recollecting all the fond memories. It just means that we come to peace with the other person's absence. We learn to stop crying. We go back to living life without the other person. We learn how to be alone, we learn how to be happy by ourselves. And that is why when you ask how I am, I lie and say that I'm fine. That is why I refrain from asking questions. I just send you an emoji with a small smile, hoping it would suffice to explain what I am really feeling.

#breakup #heartache #moving on #poetry #writeups #relationship #dating #my writing #writers on tumblr

[thereforeiamm]

A girl should be two things-WHO and WHAT she wants to be.

unknown

#feminism #why we need feminism #girlpower

[thereforeiamm]

Life

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

#just saying #funny #funny quotes

[thereforeiamm]

Stars

All the stars I cannot reach,

Live in my eyes.

#musing #quotes #stars #poem

[thereforeiamm]

Friendship Vs Relationship

Just a reminder that maintaining a friendship requires just as much effort as maintaining a relationship.

#friendship #life quotes #generalruleofthumb