#you. but i could be way off base there because season 3 in general gives me a migraine

[dixons-sunshine]

Scooby Snacks with your Whiskey | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

*GIF isn't mine*

Summary: One night when you couldn't sleep, you decided to join Daryl in the guard tower and keep him company. During a game of truth or drink, Daryl unknowingly insulted your favourite childhood cartoon, which resulted in playful arguments, accidentally shattered whiskey bottles and confessions.

Genre: Fluff

Era: Prison, post season 3, pre season 4

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, sexual innuendos but nothing major.

Word count: 3.7k

A/n: This is based off of what Daryl told Beth in s4 episode 12 right before they set the cabin on fire. He was talking about a cartoon about a talking dog, and my mind instantly went to Scooby Doo, and so this fic was born. It's not really good, since I'm still trying to get into the writing momentum, but I hope you enjoy!

Also, my requests are open for any TWD requests if y'all wanna send any!

—

"Hey. Would you mind some company?"

At the sound of your voice, Daryl turned around. He hummed and nodded for you to come closer, to which you complied. You stood beside him in silence, quietly observing the walkers at the fences. Unbeknownst to you, Daryl was stealing glances at you, his hands fidgeting with his crossbow string.

His heart fluttered at the sight of you, a regular thing that happened whenever he was in your general area. You looked up at him with that smile that always made butterflies fly around in his stomach and your eyes always seemed to sparkle brighter than the stars in the night sky, and although Daryl liked the quiet away from everyone, you were one of his only exceptions.

Daryl loved hearing you talk. He loved listening to you talk about your life before and although he wouldn't admit it, he was always captivated by the bedtime stories you told little Judith. The way you changed your voice to match the emotion of the part you were telling, even though Judith didn't understand anyway and would react the same regardless, was enchanting to him. He would listen to you talk for hours if he could.

And above all, he loved your caring yet badass nature. The way you would take down walkers with a skilled ease, and then in the same breath turn to him and check him for any injuries with a concerned look on your face made him feel drawn to you. You actually cared about him, in a way nobody ever had. Daryl didn't believe that anything was perfect, but you were the closest thing to perfect there was.

It also didn't help that you were absolutely breathtaking to him. From the beautiful colour of your eyes to your perfectly plump lips that he's wanted to kiss on more occasions than one. Daryl couldn't define how he felt about you because he never felt this way about anyone before, but he knew his feelings for you ran deeper than what could be described as platonic. And that fact scared him.

A soft sigh from you snapped Daryl from his thoughts. He looked over at you and noticed that you seemed to be deep in thought, a small frown on your face as you kept your eyes trailed on the ground below.

"Penny for yer thoughts?" Daryl prompted, instantly gaining your attention. Your eyes trailed over to him and his heart skipped a beat at the smile you gave him.

"Just thinking," you responded nonchalantly, shaking your head in dismissal. You pushed away from the railing you were leaning over and turned your body fully to look at Daryl.

Daryl hummed softly, his eyes trailing over you before shifting back to look at the fences. "Ya wanna talk 'bout it?" He questioned.

"It's stupid."

"Ain't stupid if it's botherin' ya," he retorted, turning his body to fully face you as well.

You sighed before shaking your head. "It's just... I'm thinking about my mom. The last thing we did before all of this was fight over something stupid and now..." You trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward under the archer's stare.

"Ya think she didn't make it?" He finished for you, giving you a knowing look.

"I know she didn't make it. She was diagnosed with cancer about two weeks before all of this started, and there aren't exactly doctors around who could've helped her," you responded, awkwardly fidgeting with your fingers.

"'M sorry to hear tha'. This world jus' ain't meant for people with sicknesses like tha'," Daryl said, and mentally kicked himself for saying that. There you were, confiding in him over something serious and that's the best he could come up with? He felt like a perfect fool.

However, instead of being angry at him, you looked at him with a small smile, much to his surprise. "Yeah," you started. "I just hope that she didn't suffer. She was a good woman."

"Were ya close?" Daryl asked, his blue eyes meeting your beautiful ones. He hoped that he wasn't prying, but he wanted to know more about you, the woman who haunted his thoughts 24/7.

You nodded. "We were."

"Ya make a lot of good memories with her?"

You laughed lightly, surprising the archer. "What is this, 20 questions?"

Daryl frowned. "What?"

"20 questions," you repeated, noting that your repetition didn't spark recognition in the archer's eyes. "It's a game you play with your friends at parties, sleepovers, you name it. You all take turns asking each other any questions you want."

"Never heard of it," Daryl said, shrugging his shoulders. He felt awkward under your intense stare, your eyes widened with surprise.

You softly gasped in surprise. Then, an idea struck you. "Wait here."

"It's my shift," he stated matter-of-factly. "Ain't goin' nowhere until dawn."

"Perfect."

With one last look at Daryl, you climbed down from the guard tower, excitedly rushing into the cellblock and into your cell. You bent down in front of your bed and retrieved what you were looking for; a bottle of whiskey you found on a run. With a renewed excitement, you gripped the bottle tightly and headed back up to the guard tower, finding Daryl waiting patiently.

Daryl glanced at the bottle in your hand and looked at you questioningly. "Where'd ya find tha'?" He asked, watching you approach with a slight smile on his face. He could practically see your excitement, the big smile on your face infectious.

"On a run a couple of weeks ago. I've been waiting for the right moment to open it, and the right moment has now presented itself," you said, sitting cross-legged on the floor and motioning for Daryl to do the same.

"How so?" He questioned, following your lead by sitting down on the ground in front of you. He kept his eyes trailed on you, watching your every move.

"Well, I was gonna suggest we play 20 questions, but I don't wanna force you into answering a question you don't want to, so we're gonna play truth or drink instead. We ask questions back and forth, and if we don't wanna answer the question that was asked, we drink. It's as simple as that."

"And I dun' got any say in if I wanna play or not?" Daryl asked, a small, teasing smile on his face. His smile turned into something more genuine when you let out a light laugh.

"Nope!" You laughed, opening the bottle and placing it in between the two of you. "You wanna start?"

Daryl hesitated, pursing his lips. "I dun' know wha' to ask."

"Anything. There are no wrong questions," you reassured him, leaning back on the palm of your hands.

"Alrigh'," he drawled, unsure of himself. "Wha' was yer favourite movie before all of this?"

"There you go," you praised him with a smile, making Daryl duck his head as heat flushed his face. "To be honest, I don't really know. I watched a lot of movies, so I don't think I can narrow it down to one. But I have a couple of favourites. The Breakfast Club and Back to the Future are two of them."

Daryl nodded, absentmindedly chewing on his thumbnail. "Now 's yer turn, righ'?" He questioned.

"Yeah," you confirmed. After a couple of beats of silence, you voiced your question. "Who was your first kiss?"

Daryl shifted awkwardly, embarrassment filling his body. "I honestly dun' remember her name. It was some girl in a dive bar Merle used to drag me to. She was drunk and I was helpin' her to her car when she turned around and kissed me."

"How old were you?" You asked, genuinely interested. Daryl rarely talked about his past, so when he did, you ingrained every piece of what he said into your mind.

"Nah, 's my turn to ask the questions. Wait yer turn," he joked, eliciting a laugh from you.

"Touché, Dixon, touché. Ask away."

Daryl chewed on his bottom lip, a habit you noticed he unknowingly did whenever he was thinking. You found it absolutely endearing, but the more you thought about it, the more you realised that you found most things about the archer endearing. The way he fiddled with his bolts whenever he was bored, the way he flicked his hair out of his face with the shake of his head, his small smile—you could go on a rant about his smile, and you have before. Michonne happened to be the victim who was forced to listen to your lovesick rambling in the car on your way back from the same run you'd gotten the whiskey from.

Begrudgingly snapping yourself out of your thoughts, you patiently waited for Daryl to continue the game. Feeling your stare on him, he asked the first thing that popped to mind, and instantly wished he didn't.

"Who was yer first sex partner?"

A nervous laugh bubbled out of you, heat creeping up your cheeks at a rapid pace. Daryl felt his own face flush, feeling stupid for asking the question.

"Sorry. Ya dun' have to answer tha'," he apologised, his eyes darting to the floor.

"No, it's okay. Like I said, no wrong questions. Besides, if I don't answer, I have to drink," you said, trying to compose yourself. You took a deep breath. Of all the things you thought you'd be doing tonight, you didn't think you'd be discussing who your first intimate partner was with the guy you had feelings for. "My highschool boyfriend, senior year."

Daryl nodded and left it at that. He leaned back on his hands, watching you carefully. He was surprised that you'd actually answered the question, given the personal privacy boundaries he pushed. He silently promised himself that whatever personal question you asked him, he would answer.

"What's the most petty fight you've ever gotten into because of Merle?" you questioned, looking at him expectantly.

Daryl stayed quiet for a few moments, thinking hard about his answer. "It was with this one guy. He was Merle's dealer. He was a small, janky white guy. We were over at his house one day, jus' loungin' around and watchin' TV, some stupid kids show playin'. It was barely noon, we were all wasted and Merle was high. Merle decided to take a piss outta the show, and when he started, he wouldn't let up. He never could when he was high."

Daryl stopped for a moment, collecting his thoughts while your gaze remained fixated on him. You seemed genuinely interested in the story, your eyes sparkling with wonder. Your lips were slightly parted and it took everything in Daryl not to act on his urge to kiss your pretty lips.

"It turns out, the cartoon was the guy's favourite show, and he got hella pissed 'bout it. 'M pretty sure Merle didn't know it was the guy's favourite show. I mean, he never saw the guy except when he needed somethin', but tha' didn't matter. The guy punched Merle in the face, and tha's when I got into the fight. 'M on this guy and 'm punchin' him as hard as I can, but then the guy pulls a gun on me, sticks it righ' against my head and threatens to shoot me."

"Oh, god," you murmured, slightly horrified.

"Yeah," Daryl nodded, seemingly unfazed at your reaction. "Tha's when Merle pulls out his gun and points it at the guy. At this point, everyone's yellin', I'm yellin'... I thought I was gonna die tha' day."

"How'd you get out of it?" You asked, bringing your knees up to rest your head on them.

"I didn't. The guy ended up punchin' me in the gut and I puked on the floor. They both started laughin' at me and everythin' was magically over," Daryl said, shaking his head at the memory. "And to think that happened over some dumbass cartoon about a talkin' dog."

You visibly stiffened, and this caught Daryl's attention. "Wha'? Wha's wrong?"

"Talking dog..." You trailed off, your eyebrows furrowing. "Did the dog happen to be a Great Dane? And his owner was this guy in a green shirt and brown pants with messy hair?"

Daryl pursed his lips, thinking for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. There were other people, too. Two women and a guy with an ascot."

"Scooby Doo," you stated plainly, giving the archer a playful glare.

"Wha'?" He asked, confusion evident on his face.

"Scooby Doo," you repeated, waving your hand nonchalantly. "That's the cartoon you were talking about. The cartoon you called dumb."

"Yeah, 's 'cus it was. Can't believe anybody actually liked tha' crap."

"Daryl Dixon, how dare you?" You laughed, your eyes widened in surprise. "Scooby Doo is a national treasure! He was part of my childhood and now you're insulting him? I don't think we can be friends anymore."

Daryl chuckled at you, rolling his eyes at your theatrics. "From wha' I saw, the dog and his owner were cowards. Runnin' away, screamin', from fake ghosts after how many years of encounterin' them and knowin' tha' ghosts aren't real but they still think they are? It's stupid as shit, and I ain't apologising for thinkin' tha'."

"You're a disgrace!" You laughed, trying to sound angry but miserably failing. "You're telling me that, real or not, if a ghost was chasing you that you wouldn't run away?"

"Tha's righ'," he nodded, before gesturing to the walkers down at the fence. "I dun' run away from tha' shit, so I sure as hell wouldn't be runnin' away from fake ass ghosts."

"I can't believe you," you said, shaking your head in mock disappointment. "This is the worst betrayal ever. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget this. We won't be able to go back to being friends because of this. This is terrible."

"Stop," he laughed quietly, his eyes twinkling with a rare occurrence of merriment. "It ain't tha' deep. I jus' dun' like it."

"Clearly you don't like it because you have bad taste," you retorted playfully.

"Well, I like ya, so do I still have bad taste?"

Silence. It was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. Any trace of the former reverie between the two of you disappeared and was instead replaced with an invisible current of electricity between you. Your breath caught in your throat at the sudden revelation from the man, and your heart sped up in your chest. The logical part of your brain told you that he meant it platonically, that he liked you the way he liked Rick or Glenn, but the optimistic part convinced you that he didn't, that your feelings weren't one-sided. That the archer might like you too.

"Probably," you finally responded, feeling your face ablaze with the heat that spread across it.

"Nah, my taste is immaculate," he replied, looking at you carefully, closely monitoring your reactions. Daryl knew that was a risky response, and he was nervous about your reaction, but he hoped for the best.

You gulped nervously. Daryl's response made your stomach do somersaults and your heart pound at the speed of light.

"Yeah? I still think your taste is shit," you finally managed to respond, your mouth suddenly feeling dry. Sometimes you wondered if Daryl knew what effect he had on you. If he knew how many nights dreams of him plagued your mind.

Daryl's chuckle broke the tension between you, and you felt like you could breathe again.

"Whatever ya say." Daryl took the bottle from the middle and took the first swig since the game started. Your eyes drifted to the trickle of whiskey that spilt from the bottle and trickled down his lips and chin, and you had the sudden urge to lean forward and kiss the spill away.

"You don't like Scooby Doo. That automatically means that you have shitty taste," you retorted, your breathing slightly heavier than before.

You leaned forward to take the bottle from him, but he held it out of your reach. You looked at him in confusion but he simply smirked at you, getting up from his position on the ground to stand tall over you.

"Daryl," you warned, laughing as you got up as well. "It's my whiskey. Give it back."

"Nah, I think Imma hold on to it," he said playfully, holding the bottle above his head. He laughed at you when you jumped to try and grab it from his hands.

"Daryl!" You exclaimed with a laugh, trying everything to retrieve the bottle, but to no avail. "Come on, don't be so mean!"

"Ya said I had terrible taste. Well, I like this whiskey, so tha' means it must be terrible as well, since I like it, so ya probably won't like it," he responded playfully, his eyes alight with mischief.

One final jump to grab it proved to be the wrong move. You accidentally slipped when your feet hit the ground, sending you falling onto Daryl. The archer reacted swiftly, dropping the bottle to to catch you with both hands. The bottle shattered on the ground instantly while you and Daryl toppled onto the floor, the force from your fall catching him off guard. Daryl layed flat on his back with you on top of him, his hands still on your waist from when he tried to steady you before you fell.

You looked into Daryl's ocean coloured eyes and felt your heart speed up. Daryl's eyes darted to your lips for a second before going back to your eyes, but you had caught him. In a sudden burst of confidence, you lowered your face and crashed your lips onto his, catching him off guard for the second time that night.

Daryl stiffened for a moment, surprised at the unexpected action from you, but soon relaxed and slowly kissed you back. He brought one of his hands to the back of your head and drew you closer, his lips slowly moving against yours. His other hand hesitantly trailed from your waist to the small of your back, gently moving over the exposed skin from the ride up of your shirt.

The kiss ended too prematurely for your taste, but oxygen was still a necessity. You slowly pulled back, looking into his eyes with surprise and delight. Daryl looked back at you in adoration.

"Wha' was tha' fer?" He whispered breathlessly, his chest heaving slightly.

"Just because," you replied honestly, still baffled at the fact that you had just kissed Daryl, surprised that you had mustered up the courage to do so in a matter of seconds.

"Well, if ya think tha's gonna prove to me tha' my taste is shit, then yer gonna need to try somethin' different. Tha' didn't work. If anythin', it jus' proved to me tha' my taste is amazin'."

You laughed and shook your head. "You talking about me or Scooby Doo?"

Daryl started sitting up, making you slide down his stomach to sit in his lap. "Definitely ya," he responded, wrapping his arms around you.

"So, you like like me, huh, Dixon?" You teased, linking your arms around his neck.

Daryl hummed and gave you a small smirk. "Mhm," he hummed, giving you a soft peck on the lips. "Wish I'd known tha' talkin' shit 'bout some cartoon dog would make this happen. Woulda done it a lot sooner."

"Don't you ever talk shit about that dog in my presence ever again," you warned with a playful glare, eliciting a chuckle from the archer.

"Jus' to be sure, this means somethin', righ'?" He asked, his tone turning serious. A look of doubt spread across his face. "This wasn't jus' a heat of the moment thing for ya?"

You shook your head, bringing one of your hands to cup his cheek. "Did you mean it? That you like me? And I don't mean in a platonic way."

"I did," he confirmed, leaning into your touch.

"That's good," you said with a small, shy smile. "Because I like you too. Even if you have crappy taste."

Daryl's eyes filled with relief and he let out a small laugh before leaning in to kiss you again. The kiss was brief, but it was sweet and tender. When he pulled away, he brought a hand up to push your hair out of your face.

"Never thought this would happen. I thought ya dun' like me like tha'."

You leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "No more of that. I don't plan on letting you go now that I have you, Daryl Dixon. You're stuck with me."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, 'm stuck." With that, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours in a feverish kiss. He flipped you over so that you were on your back, making you giggle against his lips.

You were definitely thankful for Scooby Doo and that whiskey bottle right now.

#krys writes .ೃ࿐ #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl x reader #twd daryl #the walking dead #twd

[moonstrider9904]

That Old Song

Pairing: Crosshair x Female Reader

Summary: After pining after him for months, you get the chance to see Crosshair one more time before he ships out with his squad to Kaller.

Tags: SFW. Kissy-kiss, pre-relationship, general softness, implied tragic romance

Word count: 1693 words

Read on AO3 | My one-shot masterlist

This one was inspired by That Old Song from the Slime Rancher soundtrack because it gives me tragic romance vibes and even though I always wanna give Crosshair a happy ending, I really felt inspired to explore the more tragic side of canon because we all know what happens to him by this point (and season 3's not even over lol Lord help us)

The sky turned purple as the sun on Anaxes began to set. The warm toned twilight would always bring a sense of foreboding with it, but you were used to it. The hangar on Anaxes was not a front line, but it was still a warzone, and war didn't discriminate. It took away, it destroyed, it forced goodbyes, but like the stars that were rising in the ever-darkening sky, there were always gleams of hope that traced finer, beautiful shapes if you knew how to look for them.

He was such a glimmer, at least to you.

You hadn't stepped a foot inside the base since the Havoc Marauder landed. Though repairs and refueling were insistently handled by the team's own engineer, you had the honor of being the only mechanic around whom Tech would even allow to set a finger on the hull of the modified Omicron-class attack shuttle. While he was off running diagnostics and the rest of the squad loaded up on rations, you were finishing up putting away the supplies you'd needed for a standard oil change. You caught the scent of the oil coming from your gloves, which you carefully removed to reveal your hands, the skin on them soft and surprisingly well taken care of despite your profession. At that moment, you could hear the subtle pacing behind you, and a gentle smile formed on your lips. You'd had so many encounters with them that, while short, had already allowed you to recognize how each of the defective clones walked - you'd gotten the chance to know such a detail from many clone battalions, but you didn't enjoy knowing any of them as much as you did for Clone Force 99.

The steps approaching you were light as a feather resulting in lifelong training for stealth, and long resulting in a tall silhouette. Carefully paced one after the other, you knew he was already smirking at the sight of you. It was simply who he was.

You turned around and your eyes landed on the silver hair and the deep brown eyes that would reflect sunlight so beautifully whenever a golden ray hit them just right - that was the only thing that made you yearn for sunshine in the middle of that twilight. Regardless, you couldn't help but grin at the man approaching you. Being in his presence was everything that occupied your thoughts when he was gone.

"Thought you'd be here," he said while chewing on a toothpick.

The giggle that left you was just a bit too obvious for your taste, but you muscled through it. "Aren't you smart."

"I hope you haven't been here all week," he teased. "I don't tell you when I'll be here in my letters for you to tie yourself to the hangar."

"It might surprise you to know I'm always exactly where I need to be," you smirked, your hands traveling to your hips. "I just happen to be needed here right now."

Crosshair, who was always so stern and so serious, let out a chuckle in front of you. The way others talked about him, even his brothers, you were already sure by then that you were one of the only people he ever did that around, and the low sound of his laughter and the way his chest fluttered when he did made you feel your knees giving out on you. Finally, Crosshair took a couple of calculated steps toward you, decreasing some of the distance between the two of you. He looked down at you, silent for a moment, so peaceful you could hear the wind blowing at your sides. Despite the cool breeze, all you could feel on your skin was heat.

"Have you heard the rumors?" You asked him.

Crosshair nodded, the seriousness returning to his face. "Yeah. War's ending soon."

Sarcasm flooded his previous remark, and you gave him a bittersweet smile. "You don't seem all that happy about it."

"It's not that," Crosshair replied. "I'm not in a position to assert or expect anything."

"Right," your mind went back to your initial pondering on the cruelties of war, but you decided to focus on the man in front of you. "Will you be headed to Coruscant?"

Crosshair shook his head. "We're needed on Kaller."

"Oh," you said. "I see. Kaller... snowy, full of clankers."

"My specialty," Crosshair purred.

You giggled. "So... maybe it's safer to say that I'll see you again soon?"

As you were talking to him, you inched closer to Crosshair. Your hands were down at your sides, but you couldn't help but notice how close his hands were to yours, and how easy it would be to reach out and touch his gloved fingers with your bare ones. What you hadn't realized up until that moment, even with all the letters and the hours you'd spent thinking about Crosshair, was how desperately you needed to hold him, and to be held by him.

But Crosshair sighed, hesitant. "Darling..."

"We haven't been sending each other letters for months now just because," you whispered. "Have we?"

A faint smile appeared on his thin lips. "No."

Your own smile, though soft, grew at him, and your eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Crosshair..." You sighed, the dreaminess finding its way into your voice.

He couldn't help but laugh again. "Well, damn. You really are smitten."

Flustered, you looked away, but Crosshair reached out to gently hold your chin and have you look up at him again. He took in the way you were looking at him, with sparkling eyes and an adorable smile, your cheeks warm and your silhouette glowing with hope, like a girl first entranced by puppy love. Your hand went up to perch itself over his wrist, but as you did, your romantic heart stilled itself when the thought of him leaving soon bled into your mind, forcing the smile to slowly disappear from you.

"What is it?" He asked.

You chuckled bashfully. "I just..."

You feared the effect of your words, you feared that it would put a pressure on him that he didn't need, one that no soldier deserved to be burdened with. But inside you, a flame burned, one that prompted you to simply speak now, to not hold back, to not reduce yourself and your feelings to letters and comms. Crosshair, the man of your dreams, finally stood before you, his hand on your skin. You would never forgive yourself if you wasted this opportunity now that you had it.

Because how in the world could you have known what happened next?

"I just don't want you to leave," you whispered. "I never do."

Crosshair gave a soft exhale as he rolled the toothpick to the opposite corner of his lips and spat it out to the side only to look at you again, his gaze turning gentle on you. His other hand traveled up to your face, and now he cupped your cheeks with a steady, soft grip.

"Would it help if I told you I don't want to leave you here either?" He asked.

You smiled softly. "It's nice to know that."

Your eyes met, and you were overtaken by the desire to collapse in his arms and become one with him. You valued each second you'd been gifted to look at his face; your gaze traced the tattoo over his right eye, memorizing the little textures where the ink seemed to falter - you'd never noticed it wasn't a solid line, it looked like it'd been drawn over the artisanal canvas of his skin. You basked in his warmth as your hands reached out to his waist, and you pulled yourself closer to him, and while you did, part of you wanted to curse and lash out at the fact that you hadn't done this sooner.

But you were there now, and that was enough to calm you. And if the war was ending, you wanted to cling to the hope that you'd be in the arms of your beloved again soon.

"Crosshair?" You asked.

With his gaze, he prompted you to continue.

"I..." you said. "I want to kiss you."

Crosshair didn't wait longer, and he slowly lowered himself to gently press his lips to yours. You felt as if every star in the sky above you would explode at that moment, and your arms slid up around Crosshair's shoulders while his slid around your waist. A kiss that started out softly didn't hesitate to become what you could only describe as romance itself, fully engulfing you both in one wavelength as your lips danced together, timeless in your own right. Softly, you moaned at his taste, and you vowed never to forget the sensation of his lips on yours, warm and intoxicating, like it would give you everything you'd ever need for the rest of your days.

You never wanted it to end, but the time came for Crosshair to set you down again. You hadn't even noticed when you'd started to stand on your toes, but when the soles of your feet were back on the ground, you looked up at him with hope, with love, and with the unspoken desire to scream "don't go" building up and eating you up inside.

With all those feelings in your gaze, looking at you nearly broke Crosshair's heart.

Your hands gently traveled to Crosshair's cheeks and you felt his stubble growing in beneath your fingertips. You gave a light chuckle and added that detail to the many you'd remember from that night, and finally, you smiled brightly at Crosshair.

"Let me know where you end up after Kaller," you said.

Crosshair smiled softly. "You know I will."

You knew it would be time for him to leave soon, so you resolved to be with him in the time you had left. You threw your arms around Crosshair and held him tighter than you'd ever held anyone. You didn't mind the armor under your soft body, all that mattered was you were holding him.

And fervently, during those last few moments, you prayed neither Kaller nor whatever came after it would take him away from you.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

#moonstrider writes #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x you #crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair #tbb reader insert #the bad batch fanfic #tbb fanfic #the bad batch fanfiction #crosshair #clone force 99 #the bad batch #tbb x reader #the bad batch x reader #crosshair x you #tbb

[bubble-dream-inc]

Lemniscate (the place between sleeping and awake)

a chance encounter with your superior during a very lonely holiday season leads to an interesting conversation and an insight on yours and Ghost’s relationship.

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader

rbs greatly appreciated!

WC: 4,8k

a/n: i had to repost this bc tumblr was being fussy and hiding it oops. also i was listening to so handsome hello by woodkid while writing this so there’s my song rec for the day. i am down bad for this man someone help me! thank u loml @deafeningcat for being the best beta reader ever, always <3

warnings: explicit talk about death, war, trauma and violence, suggestive, profanity, ghost being ooc, sex as a coping mechanism for ptsd, heavy antimilitarism, angst to fluff, slight prey and size kink if you squint, non intentional liverpool slander, reader is part of 141, soap calls you "bonnie" once but otherwise no gender especified for reader, reader thinks they can fix him and is sorta emotionally dependent so its kinda toxic idk, intentional repeating of words, christmas/holidays ambience. MDNI

The puddles rippled under your boots, and right there under the faint street light which reflected the light drizzle of rain darkening the already pitch black night sky, you remembered how much you hate the holidays. Sure, it felt nice not having to worry that much about being ambushed or shot or killed for once, but you’d be lying if you said you looked forward to having time off from work. Having spent the last few years constantly living on edge, running solely on the primal instinct of survival for weeks on end had you addicted to the adrenaline, and you forgot what it’s like to be completely at ease a long time ago. 

You felt your skin dampen under your clothes in the humid air. You haven’t bothered with an umbrella; you have been through worse. Liverpool was never your cup of tea, the sky was too gray and the wind felt like tiny needles attacking your skin on the rare occasion it wasn’t raining, and in moments like these you missed the scorching summer sun from your hometown. But again, could you really call it home? That thought had been lingering in the back of your head as an ugly reminder of one of the shittiest parts of your job ever since a few days ago when the base you were stationed in was filled with the sound of rambunctious laughter and the smell of cheap cigarettes and beer, all of it a reflect of a mission well done. The intel was useful, the danger was dealt with, and your teammates could not be more grateful the timing was just right so that they could go spend some time off with their families for the holidays. You weren’t really thinking too hard about it, too absorbed in your teasing banter with Gaz, until Soap turned to you.

“What about you, bonnie? Where ya spendin’ your holidays at? Going home?”

You had shaken your head no with a chuckle, swallowing the bad taste the word home left in your mouth and masking your discomfort. Having all their attention on you as your team mates waited for your answer wasn’t inherently bad, but you did have to ignore Simon’s piercing stare from across the group, focusing only on Soap and trying to not give in to your instinct of looking back at your Lieutenant. As the years went by, you’d found out that was just the way that he was, and you had to learn how to differentiate when he actually wanted for someone to be scared by his constant, terrifying eye contact, and when to know he was simply looking in your general vicinity. Not that it worked that well, of course, since just his massive presence and the low timbre of his voice could make anyone’s fight or flight instinct blare sirens in their head, and yet, at some point you realized you liked it. You felt like a prey under his gaze, and the fact that it both terrified and excited you was intoxicating. 

“Nah. I’m heading to Liverpool, i think, as usual” 

Being in Liverpool for you was far from pleasant, but a few years before you decided to go there for your time off just because it was closer to the base you were stationed in and you had nowhere else to go, and it became a tradition, even if it sometimes felt like self punishment. It certainly seemed like it, you thought as you wandered aimlessly through a quieter part of the city, occasionally passing through a group of tipsy barely-of-age kids, or a happy looking family going back to the comfort of their cozy homes together. It made your chest ache, but the loneliness got duller after so much time being surrounded only by the 141 members and having to watch so many people you knew die on the front lines. 

“Do you regret it? Joining the military?”

You had asked Ghost one day after you two had to get holed up in a dingy safe house, trying to pass the time while waiting for exfil. He had stared at you for a few seconds, silently, and you wondered if you had crossed a line by asking something way too personal, but in a moment he was back to staring at the worn out coffee table in front of the couch you were in. 

“No. I did what had to be done at the time.” 

While somewhat cryptic, you accepted his answer without prying for more, but after a few seconds he looked back at you, not going unnoticed how his eyes looked a bit more tired than usual. 

“Do you?”

You remember sighing.

“Everyday. War is hell.” 

He only hummed in response, putting an end to the conversation that had barely been started, but your mind dwelled on your answer. It seemed like ages ago when you were a starry-eyed private, having been fooled by the military propaganda promising you’d be a hero, but that resolve quickly broke a few months later in your first mission, and you certainly didn’t feel like a hero after taking someone else’s life for the first time. 

Lost in thought as you walked, you almost paid no mind to the man in your path that was leaning towards a lamp post and having a cigarette, if not for the fact that even from a distance you could see he was massive. There was only one person you knew that seemed as tall as that, and that was your-

“Lieutenant?” You squinted, being pretty sure you couldn’t mistake your towering 6’4 masked superior over someone else, and he acknowledged you with a look. If he was surprised to see you, he didn't show it. “Liverpool sure is tiny, huh? I thought you were from Manchester.”

“I am.”

His answers were rarely something other than short and dry, and he knew you knew better than to pry into his own personal reasonings, even because you also had no real reason to stick around that city and yet there you were. Still, the laidback-ish atmosphere of being between missions made it easier for you to act a little more daring than usual, treading lightly as you questioned him, unable to hold back your curiosity. Alas, you found yourself hypnotized by the way Simon’s full lips wrapped around his cigarette as he took a slow drag, waiting for you to say something.

“Heading somewhere?” Your voice sounded foreign even to yourself, and you didn’t know whether to blame the cold, the awkwardness of feeling like you were bothering your superior on his time off, or the way just being by his general vicinity made your chest ache with a feeling you hadn’t quite been able to name yet, but you shrugged all of it off and focused on trying to act as normally as possible.

“Not really. Are you?”

“Not really” You mimicked his words, smiling faintly and wanting to imagine that you actually saw mirth in his eyes. “Lookin’ for a pub that’s still open, but I'm not having too much luck with it.” You paused, unable to stop the next words that came out of your mouth. “Care to join me?”

Ghost pondered your bold request for a moment before putting out his cigarette by stepping on it and nodding with his head for you to lead the way. His way of communicating with so little words made you uneasy at first, but nowadays you’d find it endearing. 

And that’s how you ended up in a beaten up looking pub near the port, sitting side by side with Simon by the bar, acutely aware of the bartender eyeing you two warily. You weren’t sure if he was angry for the fact that the bar actually had customers, which meant he couldn’t go enjoy time off at home, or if he was intimidated by Ghost. Maybe both. It was an otherwise cozy little pub, the warm lighting and the low ceiling made you feel slightly comforted by your surroundings, even if there were only three other customers around and the air smelled of burnt oil and deep fried food. You tapped your fingers on the wooden surface of the bar while waiting for the grumpy bartender to bring your beer, comfortable with the silence between you and Simon. When it arrived, you watched with a side eye, trying to be discreet, as he raised his mask slightly to take a sip of his bourbon, even if you knew he had noticed you.

Ghost’s face was somewhat familiar to you. Less than his body, admittedly.

There were a handful of times you had seen him without his mask, but you had barely committed its features to memory since it had mostly been in the dark confines of his quarters - which made you think how nice it must be to have a rank high enough to have your own room - and in times where staring at his face was not the first thing on your mind. It didn’t matter anyway, knowing he really was handsome after all under the balaclava didn’t change how your chest would tighten at the sight of him way before you dreamt of seeing his whole face.

Being alone with your superior was hardly foreign at this point, after so many years and everything you had been through together, and while you had never said it directly to him, his company was enjoyable. You remember clearly; It had happened the first time during mid summer after a mission gone particularly wrong in Somalia. One hour in the shower later, scrubbing your skin raw, you still felt dirty and grimy, as if you believed you could let go along with the blood-dirtied water the screams of all the civilians you had heard and the image ingrained into your brain of all the innocent people lying dead on the streets, massacred without a second thought. You tried showering, smoking, drinking, going for a walk, talking to your fellow team mates - all of them who looked just about as shaken as you were - but nothing could get your mind off of it. Mid walk, you had rounded a corner inside the base and locked eyes with Ghost, who was coming from the opposite direction, and, for reasons unknown, something instantly changed in the air between you. Sure, you had flirted a bit and perhaps given some indication of your attraction towards him before, but at that moment maybe you looked more distraught than you thought, and in only a split second after the very sudden eye contact, a non-verbal agreement was set, and quickly you found yourself glued to his broad chest, his hand lifting his mask just enough so you could connect your lips in a messy and aggressive kiss as he guided you to the door of his room. There’s no way to tell how long you were there for, but as you felt him blindly in the dark to hug his neck while he was inside you for the nth time, you were grateful he didn’t comment on your sobs that you now allowed to flow as freely as your tears, and, in turn, you didn’t comment on how tender your huge, scary superior could be, holding your face gently and whispering praises, comforting you the best he could. 

It became something akin of a habit. At first it was just fucking to destress or to not have to deal in a proper way with all the trauma that came with your line of work, but then you started to linger. His touches became gentler, his big hands would stroke your skin instead of just gripping it hard enough to bruise, and you found yourself staring at his strong and scarred back one morning as he slept somewhat soundly beside you. Your hands itched to trace them, and at the moment you decided you wouldn’t mind sharing a bed, literally, with your superior more often, it was when you also realized you were fucked. To the others, surely it looked just like a very unethical and paperwork-worthy sexual tension, but you weren’t stupid, and not a teenager anymore, so you couldn’t find any excuses for the lingering glances and touches, how you started worrying more for him in battlefield, and you didn’t know if it was comforting or terrifying for you to think that he probably realized what was going on inside your head whenever he looked back at you, even if his hardened and unreadable gaze never faltered. Some nights, you’d find yourself alone in your cot wondering if you were imagining it all or if the longing you felt for his reciprocity was too delusional, and the thought made your throat ache in the worst way possible. You knew it was a bad idea, but you were unable to restrain yourself from finding your way back to his bed more often than not - and whenever he’d open the door for you when the base was already dead silent, realizing he also seemed glad to see you made all of your rational thoughts go out the window. 

“Quit the starin’.” 

Oh. Right. You were still looking at him. You muttered out a low sorry and looked down at your cup, well aware of Simon’s gaze burning holes into your face. So much for not staring.

“Why don’t you ever go home?”

There’s that word again. You wondered if your experience with feeling so stateless after fleeing from the place you used to call your own such a long time ago was that uncommon between soldiers, and suddenly the beer in your tongue didn’t taste that bitter anymore. 

“It was just a place like any other. I’m afraid there hasn’t been anythin’ for me there in a while, so i guess i don’t really got one anymore.” 

But again, you did wonder why Simon was all the way over to Liverpool and not Manchester, and a part of you selfishly hoped you weren’t alone with the gut wrenching feeling of not belonging anywhere but your base. Not that he’d ever admit to something like that. Simon was not the kind of man to say his thoughts clearly, or with words, for that matter.

“No family? Friends?” 

Chuckling dryly, you’d let yourself linger a bit longer on Ghost’s sudden interest in actually knowing you more than physically if his bluntness didn’t amuse you in a bitter way.

“People realize really quickly how hard it is to keep relationships with someone who’s gone for months on end, and could very well be dead in a ditch the next time you try to call. Can’t say I blame ‘em.”

Simon said nothing in response, but his gaze on you seemed to soften a bit. Experiencing him outside of the battlefield was the kind of thing that would surely give you whiplash, years of military experience and living through horrors beyond comprehension would, of course, make him have a dangerous and reserved aura 24/7, but watching him let loose just a little bit and allow himself to be minimally vulnerable through his gaze and casually, softer spoken words were a new sort of fascinating. He was never the kind of person to ask things out of politeness, no, he was brazen and direct, so his genuine curiosity in you made it difficult to calm your already palpitating heartbeat. 

Under the lights of a very dimly lit pub in East Liverpool, you were seeing not Ghost, not your Lieutenant, but only Simon Riley. You came to the conclusion you really liked this side of him. So, you decided to take your chances and prod a little bit more.

“What about you, Lieutenant? Where is home for you?”

“Classified.”

You chuckled, and a tiny, barely-there smirk formed on his lips before he hid it with the rim of his bourbon glass. It was worth a try.

You lost track of how long you were sitting there, in silence, just listening to the static-ish audio of the shitty television on the corner of the bar or the idle chat of other patrons, occasionally muttering something to Ghost, but it all felt superficial. You wanted to jump him, to strip him bare, not of his clothes, but of all of him that was a façade, and lay down every word left unsaid. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted him to let you care for him the way he cared for you. For every time he’d wordlessly patch up your wounds in a dirty alleyway, push you out of a sniper’s line of sight or bark orders for you to get to fucking safety, you wanted to help him through each nightmare (that he thought you didn’t notice it plagued his nights more often than not, leaving him restless the next day), and hold him close when the throes of carrying a whole team and an entire life of trauma on his back became too much to bear on his own. You felt like a fool, pining over a man who made no effort to hide how little he trusted people.

Soon enough, the pub grew quieter and more devoid of people, and at some point you and Ghost decided the bartender’s gaze was way too unwelcoming, as he clearly wanted to go home, so you wordlessly decided to go back to your aimless wandering. A few of your old army colleagues wouldn’t hesitate to pull off their military card to get what they wanted, whenever and however they wanted, but just the thought made your stomach turn in disgust. Your blood stained hands didn’t feel like the ones of a hero that deserved to be pampered. 

“Why are you still here anyway?”

He had asked you a few days after your conversation in that dingy safehouse. You had found yourself brushing shoulders side by side together after you went out for a smoke in the base, running into him leaned against a parked truck, lost in thought. For some reason, the question made you feel ashamed to meet his eyes, even if his tone wasn’t accusatory; just curious.

“I feel like it’s too late for me. I’ve seen too much. There’s nothing else I know how to do at this point.”

Your tongue felt like lead inside your mouth. A part of you longed for an early retirement so you could live a quiet and monotonous life somewhere in the countryside, but you also knew most people with your lifestyle wouldn’t live enough to see retirement.  Alas, deep inside you felt like it was impossible to not grow restless if you were to live a life free of the adrenaline you embraced as a vice. It felt hypocritical, suffering over the consequences of your own choices, but God knows you’d leave in a heartbeat if you weren’t already too far deep in. You’d suppose becoming a soldier had its good sides, though, even if just the idea of finding any comfort in your work made you uneasy. Surely you’d never have met the 141 otherwise and, consequently, made them your little dysfunctional found family. You’d hold onto that for the sake of your sanity. On your side, Ghost hummed, acknowledging what you were saying, and maybe you’d find he could relate to your feelings, somehow. 

“It’s difficult to let go of a whole life of violence.”

His words had stuck with you, as wise and cryptic in a way only he managed to pull it off.

Outside, the drizzle seemed to have gotten a bit stronger in the last few hours, but neither of you cared enough for it. It didn’t feel that bad compared to the storms that rained over you in open fields or the mud you’d have to crawl across to stay hidden sometimes. You’d feel pretty stupid if this little rain actually got you sick, but that was a worry for future you. It didn’t even cross your mind to ask Ghost if you were heading somewhere, you just followed him blindly, analyzing him in silence and noticing he looked good in civilian clothes, the plain black hoodie fitting him perfectly. From the little distance you walked besides him, you could notice he was smelling good, a mixture of cologne and his natural musk which you were already very well acquainted with.

The street was clearly in a commercial district, and it felt even quieter than the one you were before. All the stores were closed with only a faint night light illuminating a few of their interiors, and you appreciated the faint smell of the sea by being somewhat close to the port. 

You enjoyed the stillness of it all and the lack of people to make you jealous with their normal, happy lives. 

Subconsciously, you barely noticed that you ended up scooting even closer to Simon as you walked, happy he didn’t seem to mind it. 

Suddenly, he stopped mid-walk, and you became hyper aware of how much you were staring at him. God, you felt like a creep. After a second, he spoke in a murmur, not turning to look at you.

“Since when?”

You waited for him to elaborate what he meant, but it never came. Chuckling nervously, you peered up at him, confused.

“Since when…what?”

Finally, he turned to look at you with something indescribable in his eyes. It made you feel small, like he wanted to devour you, but it also made your heart leap in your chest, like he wanted to devour you. 

“I know how you feel about me. You’re not very subtle about it. I’m not bloody stupid, kid. ”

Your head snapped towards him at his harsh words, even if his low voice and gentle-ish tone didn’t quite reflect the true nature of them, but any witty reply you had died down once you saw how his eyes were downturned in unease.

Oh.

Oh.

You realized what he’s talking about, and turns out your late night musings were right - at least part of them. Simon leaves no opening to figure out by his body language what the bringing up of the topic means to him. Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he will reject you and reprimand you for being unprofessional (as if loving him was more unprofessional than fucking your superior). Maybe-

“I’m…not sure.” You admit, refusing to meet his steely gaze. “It just…happened. Stopped being just casual sex a while ago.”

His silence makes seconds feel like hours. You try to control your labored breathing by listening to the soft pitter-patter of the rain that’s back to drizzling on the store awning you’re both under. A part of you wishes the rain would suddenly get so strong it would break the awning and drag you away with the current from Simon’s soul-crushing silence. You feel stupid, foolish.

Fool, fool, fool-

He closes the distance between your bodies. Having never paid much detailed attention to the rare occasions when gloves didn’t adorn his hands outside the bedroom, you suddenly notice how much his palms feel a pleasant kind of rough and calloused when they don’t carry the intent of ravaging you, so big against your face as he gently cradles you. Of course, he knows you’re a soldier, not some porcelain doll to be easily broken, but God knows how much seeing him hold you as if you’re something precious makes your once-labored breathing come to a halt altogether. His eyes are soft, half lidded, and uncertain on you as he murmurs out sorrowfully.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, kid.”

For the first time ever, you feel like you’re the only person who’s ever seen Simon Riley look scared. You don’t know if he’s afraid of hurting you or the other way around.

Instinctively, your own hands gingerly go to the top of his in a light caress, and you fight against the urge to close your eyes and breathe in his musk as you lean into his touch. This up close he also smells faintly like cigarettes.  

“Maybe not.” You admit, and you hope he can notice the way you look up at him with hearts in your eyes and willing to wear your own on your sleeve. “But I want to find out.”

He doesn’t really smile - he almost never does - , but his gaze holds a promise in it, a vow. One of his hands leaves your face to hike up his mask, and you expect it to stop just below his nose, as always, but he keeps going until it rests on top of his dirty blonde hair, making your breath hitch once again. You were wrong about him; you didn’t need to strip him bare, no, you realize he’d do it for you if you asked. A long time ago you decided you didn’t give a shit about how his face looked, but you made sure to take a good look at him, finally committing his features to memory, acknowledging his trust in you and also how much you really were a fool by underestimating it before. The stubble on his jaw feels coarse under your fingertips, and you indulge yourself by lightly tracing the scar on his lip the way you wanted to do with all of his marks ever since that morning. It occurs to you that even when the hookups turned into something more, you had never seen him so vulnerable, and it sets an equally giddy and unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach, as if you were witnessing something you weren’t supposed to, but you weren’t about to question his resolve. Taking the reins - as he always does - his lips are on yours in an instant, and you swear you’d die happily at that instant.

The way he kisses you is something new, slow and passionate, as if trying to savor every piece of you at his pace and communicate what he doesn’t know how to put into words. You’d kissed before, sure, but it was always animalistic, an aggressive dance filled with wanton growls deep from his throat and your involuntary whines whenever he would bite your lip - a gazelle in the jaws of a lion - and in the occasions sex was tender, it was most likely because something bad had happened, and you’d hide your face in the crook of his neck so he could pretend not to notice how much you needed it - him -  to cope and how much his touch kept you grounded; you’d like to imagine yours made him feel something of the sorts as well. Simon Riley was not the type of man to engage in raw emotional affairs without getting something out of it. And yet, as you close your eyes to hug his neck, bringing his large body impossibly closer to yours, you feel like he is finally giving all of him to you in the rawest way he knows how to. Of course, you’re not teenagers, and with the way of life you lead, emotional attachment can make any soldier feel dreadful for their future, so it would be foolish to expect a full on love confession in the rain, but, if anything, you suddenly realize you can feel Simon’s heart beating fast on his chest through your own, and that is enough for you, making you smile against him. 

When you separate, there’s still minimal distance between you two, the air around you feels lighter, and you surround yourself in affection by the way Simon looks down at you adoringly. Any outsider would be quick to say he has the look of a stone cold predator, and he is as unreadable as they come, but once you start dealing with the true man under the mask - even if only figuratively -, you realize that his eyes are truly the window of his soul, and any words left unspoken you’d die to uncover are visible in his dark hues the moment he looks at you. A few blocks away, a clock tower strikes midnight and you spare the building a look from where you can see it.

“Merry Christmas, Simon.” You murmur, knowing full well religious holidays are neither yours or Simon’s thing. The irony of it all is lost when he huffs out a small noise of amusement and distances himself just enough to extend his arm for you to take, his gaze never leaving your form. You could point out he hasn’t really lowered his mask yet but you enjoy the view too much so you might as well indulge in it while he doesn’t remember to do so. His bicep is thick and strong under your fingers as you grip him gently, and he nods forward beyond the awning.

“It stopped raining. Let's get going.”

#i stayed up until 5 am yesterday writing this i hope y'all like it mwah #cod #cod mw22 #cod mwii #cod modern warfare #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #call of duty mwii #call of duty modern warfare 2 #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley smut #ghost x reader #ghost smut #cod ghost #cod simon riley #cod smut #capy.writes

[doppel-dean-er]

STRAP IN JEFFANNIE LOVERS, IT'S ABOUT TO GET YUCKY AND YOU'RE IN THE SPLASHZONE

thought I'd give a comprehensive list on why I personally dislike JeffAnnie because I got called idiotic for it and I see that as a top tier compliment. I go more in depth at the end, but if you just want the quick stuff (since I know y'all like the quotes!!) here you go, but please read the rest of it!! this is an open discussion.

also I get pretty gross in my descriptions of Annie, be warned

season 2 episode 1: "since you have clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor of those twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you. men are monsters who crave young flesh, the end."

season 3 episode 1: "we can't keep doing this forever, kiddo." "Can't we?" "no, that's gross. I feel gross."

season 4 episode 3: "I was just daydreaming. I mean, I've married you at least a half a dozen times. and Troy. and Zac Efron. Mostly Zac Efron."

season 3 episode 16: "but, we love Jeff." "no, we don't. we're just in love with the idea of being loved. and if we can teach a guy like Jeff to do it, we'll never be unloved. so we keep running the same scenario over and over hoping for a different result."

season 6 episode 13: "are you okay?" "is this really what you want?" "of course. I mean, I'd be fine with a dog too, but whatever you want." "do you have any idea what I want?" "yes?"

season 2 episode 20: "the general atmosphere of 'would they?' 'might they?'" "Annie, I think you're reading into some things." "oh really?" "oh, give me a break. I mean, you could do the same thing with Pierce and Abed!" "yeah, let's be honest, there's more between you and Annie than between me and Pierce." "Abed, it's called chemistry, I have it with everybody."

season 5 episode 11: "I'm 40."

I'd like to actually argue with a personal opinion based on a fact, and some anecdotal hypotheticals

first of all, I'm 17, a year younger than Annie in season one. I know people who are 19, 20 even. the concept of them or myself dating someone who is (not only fully developed in the brain, but) at least ten years older than ourselves-

-is gross, no? if Annie got held back at all, if she didn't drop out, if she and Jeff met in a different way, same age difference and her still in high school, one might say that is a little uncouth, one might even go so far as to say it's gross.

but, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt; make them closer in age, say Jeff is in his 20s instead of his thirties, say 25 (the lowest we can go for him to still be a lawyer). still, Annie's brain wont fully develop until she is 25, meaning Jeff will already be in his thirties by that point, if he dates her any sooner he will be dating what is medically considered an adolescent (10-24) while himself above 30. "but chrissy, chimbo, my love, you're legally an adult at age 18!" if we start bringing the law into this, the post will double in size, to make it simple, just think for a moment why that makes you legally an adult. why is a legal adult not allowed to drink? why would the United States want people who are not fully developed making decisions, and how does that affect their country? food for thought.

another benefit of the doubt! take age out of the question, just look at them as people and their experiences, not by a number! age ain't nothing number, right? like Aaliyah, right? Yeah, did you know R Kelly, the convicted sex offender, wrote that song? Crazy, right? sorry, off topic. Silly me, silly little baby brain. haha. let's look at their dynamic:

Jeff is a man who values the women he dates - rather, sleeps with - very little. "I'm Jeff Winger, and I would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with!" he states, so confident and proud of himself. "I asked this woman out 30 seconds ago to prove a point!" he shouts. "I'll be back with booty!" he sneers. does this seem like the kind of person that would think of women in the long-term? that is Jeff.

Annie on the other hand, as the boy-crazy girlish urchin she is, sees every man that comes her way as Christ incarnate. Annie is obsessive, she enrolled in nearly all of Troy's classes to get some sense that someone, anyone, no matter how bad they treat her, has to rely on her for something she knows. Annie is fresh and inexperienced, she can't say the word 'penis' because it makes her uncomfortable and squirmy. pure, untouched porcelain. so impressionable, don't you think? so untainted, virginal. looking for a father.

describing her like that makes you a bit uncomfortable, doesn't it? feels a little yucky in your tum tum?

that's because if you take away their ages, their experiences speak for themselves. Annie is young, obsessive. Jeff has more experience than her and will discard her quickly in favor of someone younger or better looking. if you're into the 'born sexy yesterday' trope, go ahead. I'm not one to stop you from doing what makes you feel good! We all know what you really want, you don't have to hide it, Humbert- sorry, Jeff. slip of the tongue. scream it loud! scream it on the rooftops, or on the streets: "I want to fuck a teenager!!" see how people look at you!

Oh, they're not smiling, are they? yikes.

i'd just like to leave you with a personal opinion.

is the pairing of Jeff and Annie iffy and pretty gross? yes, scroll up, read this post again if you aren't convinced. at the same time, should it be removed from the show entirely because it's problematic and horrible and everyone who supports JeffAnnie is a meth-addicted pedophile who eats babies and fucks sticky flashlights with the mouthless faces of their classmates taped to the rim? while I would prefer that JeffAnnie didn't happen, yes, I just think those of you who are into this are just uneducated and stubborn. some of you, one of you in particular, i'm sure is a sweaty neckbeard with a fedora and a 4chan tripcode. but not all of you, and for that I have hope.

JeffAnnie is legal, yes. JeffAnnie is by far not the worst, too. and we, as mature half-adults, can admit that. I for one believe that you should be able to ship anything that is both legal and non-blood-related. that's the magic of fandom! enemies to lovers is one of the most popular genres! the toxicity of the relationship is not the problem, it is the predatory nature and unsavory implications that are the problem. I think the relationship as a whole is not something to be looked at with positive emotions, but I also don't believe that this type of screen representation is bad. just because something is put to screen does not mean it is acceptable. I think that's something we all learned in second grade, yes? good. glad we're all on the same page. you're looking wonderful. I hope you have a great day.

also, just to cover all my bases, it's just a matter of preference. it makes a lot of us uncomfortable to see relationships like that, especially those of us who are around Annie's age. like, imagine being her: you're fresh out of rehab and ready to start your life. this guy who is more than ten years older than you, who you think is kind of cute maybe, starts to look at you the same way. imagine having the knowledge that every time he looks at a woman he just sees a pair of tits and a vag on legs. imagine what he sees when he looks at you. imagine that guy having a conversation with your dad, they might even be closer in age than you and him. that's uncomfortable, to me at least.

plus, Britta and Jeff are a better couple.

and if anyone responds with that whole "Dan Harmon DVD season 6" copy paste I hope you all know it makes me kick my feet and giggle. papa needs an ego boost, go ahead *bats eyes* *gets hit by a car*

#community #community nbc #nbc community #jeff winger #annie edison

[jeannyanswers]

Love what youre doing in this blog <3

Do you have any tips of staying organised, specifically keeping a tidy wardrobe and desk? Usually it takes me a long time to clean but normally whenever I finally tidy the things they never stay that way for long..

Thank you o2studies ♥️

I’m always really happy to hear that people are enjoying my stuff and it’s helpful to them!

I also really relate to struggling to keep your space organized as I used to struggle with that a lot when I first moved out. So I collected some tips that helped me and I hope they will do so for you too.

General tips:

Find a place for everything: The most important step in staying organised is to create an organization system that works for you. I think the things you need to keep in mind are 1. where do you need your things? 2. where is it easy to grab your things from? If you found a place that accomplishes both these points, try to keep your things in

Containers!: Putting things in containers prevents them from just laying around and thus reduces visual clutter. You can also just have a bucket where you put things that you need to put away later -> makes the tidying-up-process less overwhelming. This works both with containers for pencils and papers on your desk and for organizers in your closet

Put things away after using them: This is ofcourse one of the most basic tips, but it can be very helpfull to keep your place tidy. If you put things away after using them they don’t pile up.

Take time every day to de-clutter: If the last tip doesn’t work for you try this instead. For me this time used to be after coming home from school and now its in the morning before I start studying. Instead of taking a lot of time to clean everything, take a little time each day to for example put away the papers you worked on or the clothes you wore yesterday

Desk organization tips:

Keep only what you need on you desk: A cluttered workspace can be distracting and make it difficult to focus on the task at hand. It’s also helpful too keep open desk space, so you have space to work.

-> Keep things you need often nearby: Keeping the things you need most near your dominant hand makes it easier to grab them. This also makes it easier to put them back where they belong and you don’t have to shuffle things around because they’re hard to reach

Utilize your wall space, the space under your desk and stack vertically: A floating shelve/a pegboard or drawer organizers can be helpful to have more storage space and stacking things vertically is a more efficient use of space

Organize your desk according to your work process: Again if things already are where you need them to be, you don’t need to put them back and it’s also just more efficient. For example; a lot of people work from left to right, so they put documents they need to work on on the left of their desk and the documents they finished working on on the right

Wardrobe organization tips:

Clean out your closet: It can be hard to keep your wardrobe organized, when it’s overflowing so start off with downsizing and decluttering. Selling some off your stuff on websites like Poshmark or eBay or donate it to give it a second live

-> Make future clean outs easier: Place a distinct (i.e., brightly colored) hanger at the front of each section of your closet. Every time you wear something and wash it, hang it up in front of that hanger. After a few months, it’ll be pretty easy to see what got worn and what didn’t

-> Pack away seasonal clothing: Try to store the clothes you don’t need at the time somewhere else (like in another storage space/boxes or vacuum packs) to make place in your wardrobe

Create Zones: You could divide items by type, by color or based on how frequently you use them. Put high-use items in the front so they’re easy to grab and you don’t have to go through all your things. Zones also help to get an overview of everything you have so you again don’t have to go through everything

=> Hope that helped, thanks for the question!

#sorry this took so long #I had some personal stuff going on with my roommate #ask #ask blog #organization #organizing #cleaning #tidying #tidyup #life tips #house cleaning #studyblr #student life #becoming that girl #it girl #self improvement #that girl

[ineffable-endearments]

So...if GO follows a chiastic structure, what do we think is the center of the chiasm?

Er, I guess we could potentially have many, with the way the story features the historical flashbacks. You can arrange everything in the exact narrative order it's told or you could look at it all in chronological order. I have a hunch the centers of each will line up to be the same, but I'm too sleepy to wrap my brain around it entirely right now.

Anyway, what's the center?

I believe the literal exact center of the series based on run time would be around Season 2, at the end of Episode 3 or beginning of Episode 4. Crowley refusing to let Shax into the bookshop? Aziraphale unwillingly picking up Shax in the Bentley? Aziraphale accidentally revealing where Gabriel is? In other words, Hell locating Gabriel - Hell discovering Heaven's lost piece? This doesn't seem, on its surface, to be the most dramatically satisfying moment on which the universe could turn. But it has to do with safe spaces, stolen knowledge, and Aziraphale and Crowley dancing around each other (both trying to keep the other safe, but failing).

Additionally, at this central point in the story, both Crowley and Aziraphale are dealing with representatives from each other's Sides that they don't like. Aziraphale is trying not to tell Shax anything, but is dragged into it because she won't leave him alone and catches him off-guard. Crowley is angelsitting Gabriel/Jim and begins to threaten him, but realizes it's too late to avoid harm coming to Aziraphale because of this whole issue.

Other options that feel a little more dramatically enticing that I've been thinking of:

The halo explosion? The Ball in general? Gabriel and Beelzebub's reunion? Crowley giving Muriel The Crow Road? (The original giver of knowledge handing an angel a book about a young man struggling with his family and sense of faith?) The kiss?

[queenkenzo24]

Greetings to all you call the midwife fans. I wanted to give some clarification on the poll I created about Miss Higgins. I’ve spent a long time thinking deeply on how I wanted to word this in a way that makes my opinion clear in a meaningful way without sounding mean.First of all, thank you to everyone who gave thoughtful and detailed responses to my poll and their insights on the character Miss Higgins. I wanted to clarify that my dislike of this character in no way is me trying to discredit Heidi Thomas and all the beautiful things she’s created. This will however provide some criticism on how she’s written and how I think her character could be improved. Before my poll, I genuinely thought Miss Higgins was a character that was intended to be disliked. I thought the point of her character was that she was constantly being made fun of to the point where no one liked her. Obviously I was wrong in that assumption. I understand my generalization of just calling her annoying and rude in my poll was an overstatement made when I thought that was obvious. Since it isn’t obvious, I want to go into my reasoning for disliking this character.

A lot of the reasons I don’t like Miss Higgins actually boil down to the fact that I think her character has shown little growth in her time on the show. Someone on my poll commented that she was only mean to Shelagh at the beginning of her time on it because they had disagreements about record keeping. I don’t see this hatred as something that is only limited towards her first few episodes, or something that is only directed towards record keeping purposes. To be fair, a lot of their disagreements do seem to be record keeping based, but I don’t think Miss Higgins handles these nicely. There’s a polite way to ask for your policies to be respected, and then there’s what she does. She’s constantly scowling any time Shelagh wants to look at records, rudely telling her that her way of handling the Asian records were ineffective, and scowling when anyone asks for Shelagh’s organizational help(she got so upset when Sister Julienne went to Shelagh for help typing up and printing satisfaction questionnaires). Shelagh isn’t stupid, untrustworthy, or bad with records. She was Dr Turners receptionist for years before Miss Higgins came along. Miss Higgins also seems to have a disdain for Shelagh and Patrick’s relationship. When Patrick gave Shelagh flowers after seeing the Sound of Music, Miss Higgins practically scowled at them. In season 13 episode 1(Spoilers I guess) Miss Higgins looked pissed off just because she walked in on them being all cute as they ate lunch together. It feels as though whenever Miss Higgins sees them being a normal couple doing cute couple things, it makes her angry. Here’s where the growth element comes into it. I was expecting after a while of her being on the show of someone talking to her about this issue she seems to have with Shelagh. I was expecting that Phyllis, or maybe even Timothy, was going to pull her aside and ask her what her issue was with Shelagh(and also her relationship with Patrick) I saw an excellent fic once where this happened and Phyllis figured out that Miss Higgins was judging them because of the rumors she heard years ago about Shelagh being a nun and the improper things that might have happened between her and Patrick. I saw another fic where Trixie pointed out to her how hard Shelagh was working raising 3 young children(and obviously Timothy but he’s older) at the same time as she’s working so hard as a nurse and it changed her whole perspective and attitude towards Shelagh. A conversation like this would certainly be uncomfortable, but it would provide growth.

Another opportunity I feel they missed out on showing growth was when Miss Higgins stayed at Nonnatus house. She seemed to make everyone uncomfortable and had several habits that made her hard to live with. I wish a conversation had taken place where Phyllis pointed out to her that she was being horrible. Demanding your friends make you special meals(which you then complain about), taking long baths when there’s a roster, and forcing everyone to listen to your instruments when no one asked to listen to them are not polite roommate behavior. Her music is another opportunity where growth could be shown. She seems to have no concept of peoples lack of interest in her musical abilities( when that’s even obvious to the girl with autism that’s embarrassing). Phyllis really seemed embarrassed by the fact that Phyllis wanted to do a history of woodwind instruments for the talent show and yet at no time did they show her having a conversation where she voiced that concern. These conversations are really hard. Trust me, I’ve had more than enough hard conversations about social cues and polite behavior as someone with autism. It’s never fun. But those conversations would provide growth to a character that I don’t feel has changed very much in the time she’s been on the show.

Now let’s talk about things that don’t excuse her behavior. I don’t think her being raised in India changes how her behavior should be seen. Do you know who was also brought up in India? Chummy. While being a little socially awkward, Chummy doesn’t have any of the same issues with being a nice, polite, courteous human being. I’ve seen a lot of people say that her personality flaws can be looked past because she grew up in India. Growing up in India doesn’t give you an excuse to be a jerk. The other excuse for her behavior I’ve seen is that she’s just a quirky character that a lot of people in this fandom can relate to. Being quirky also doesn’t excuse you being rude. We should hold everyone to the same standards of being polite and kind people no matter what. Other characters in the series get backlash for their objectivity rude behavior. Chummy had Sister Evangelina to(sometimes unfairly) call out her behavior and push her towards growth. When Patsy was first on the show, she was shown to be not very conscious of the feelings of the mothers she was treating. She was a bit brash and wasn’t very comforting to them. She was quickly told that her behavior wasn’t great, and it was uncomfortable, but she learned and grew from that situation. That’s what I really want for Miss Higgins. For someone to push back against her behavior and cause her to change and grow.

In conclusion(I legit feel like that’s such a high school English paper thing to say but it works) I feel like Miss Higgins actually has potential to be a decent character, but she has too many flaws that have been overlooked and remained unchanged to the point where it’s made her an unbearable character for me to watch in Call the Midwife. I hope her character can improve, but I’m honestly loosing hope of that at this point.

I hope that this all made sense. I tried so hard to keep this concise(obviously I failed at that but I have lots of opinions) and well thought out. I really don’t mind if anyone likes Miss Higgins. It’s simply a difference of opinion that I know I can’t change. I just really wanted to show why I feel the way I do.

#call the midwife #miss higgins #shelagh turner #patrick turner #timothy turner #ctm #heidi thomas #turnadette

[sesamestreep]

30 Day Writing Challenge - Day 7

Use the words: small town, bar, jukebox (from this list) ➸ slight future fic in the west wing AU, set probably six months after part 4 which does not exist yet (🫠) so maybe consider it a preview of what’s to come eventually in the series?? corresponds to the beginning of season 3 of the west wing when everybody’s in Manchester for the campaign and based (loosely) on that scene where Toby sucks at pool. ♡ dedicated to my pal @aivley-reblogs who had the chance to influence me to make this fic less weird and horny and chose violence instead ♡

It's only after Foggy has managed to send Karen and most of the remaining staffers that were still holed up in the bar either working or blowing off steam back to their hotel rooms for the night that Matt finally reappears.

“Did I miss the end of the party?” Matt asks.

“We’re calling it a night,” Foggy replies, as he’s futzing with his wallet. He's waiting on the drink he just ordered with plans to close his tab after that. “The team’s picking back up with the speech in the morning. Hopefully, some rest will help.”

“I don’t know if one good night of sleep is enough to make everyone see eye to eye there.”

“Yeah, but it’s almost midnight and I think we’re all entitled to some delusion.”

Matt smiles at that, and says, “You’re heading out, then?”

Foggy leans back against the bar. “After this drink, yes.”

“I’d have another too, if you’re offering.”

“Yeah, alright,” Foggy says, at the exact same moment the bartender reappears with his drink. “Can I be a bother and add one more thing to my tab?”

The bartender gives Foggy the impression of someone who’s probably a school teacher by day and does this for extra cash because the educational system in this country is fundamentally broken. That’s a long way of saying she’s a different breed from the sleek, lithe employees of the downtown DC bars he usually frequents, most of whom could and likely do double as escorts to senators and ambassadors now and again. She’s also probably old enough to be his mother, which makes it charming and not weird when she nods curtly and turns to Matt with a, “Jameson, right, honey?”

“Yes, thank you,” Matt replies, with the sort of humble acquiescence of someone used to terms of endearment from the older ladies at church. Once she’s gone, Matt pokes Foggy’s wrist and says, “You play pool?”

“Not as well as Karen, but…”

Matt smiles, too brightly for the hour and for their current circumstances. “I see news of my humbling defeat has already reached you."

"As if there's a force on this earth that could actually humble you in any real way."

"True enough," Matt replies, his smile only growing. "It's clear to me now that I should have done my homework before challenging her, at least.”

"I hope you didn't put any money on it," Foggy says, casually.

"Nothing I couldn't afford to lose," Matt says, with a shrug. It's hard to tell in the subdued lighting of the bar, but he might also be blushing faintly. "If you're worried, I'll be generous with you. You can lose for free."

"Golly, thanks," Foggy says, drily, making Matt laugh.

"Sounds like a yes to me," he says, before nodding to the raised area in the back of the room where the pool table resides. “I’ll get it set up. Meet me there when you’re all set.”

“Sorry, am I buying and delivering your drinks now, Murdock?”

“Seems like it, yeah,” Matt replies, with a grin that threatens to overtake his face as he effortlessly walks back from the bar without turning away.

“And what do I get out of this arrangement?” Foggy shouts after him.

“The pleasure of my company,” Matt fires back, and then disappears again.

Foggy can’t deny that that’s enough of a draw for him, but he doesn’t have to be stupid and admit it out loud. Instead, he gets Matt’s drink without further complaint, as well as his own, closes his tab, and heads over to the slightly enclosed area at the back of the bar where there’s a pool table with Matt Murdock leaning against it. He hands the drink off to him, and clinks their glasses together before Matt can pull his away.

“Cheers,” he says, for no real reason, and watches Matt’s throat move on a swallow just a little too closely. He feels fine and normal otherwise.

“You know how to play?” Matt asks, inclining his head towards the table as he stands and makes his way to the rack of pool cues.

There’s something loose and warm in the way he moves around the rounded corners of the table, like this is his neighborhood bar and he knows it by heart. Foggy attributes it to the few drinks he’s had over the course of the night and a certain natural grace that Matt seems to possess, but having an explanation for it doesn’t dampen the effect of it at all. Just like he was fascinated by Matt’s throat a moment ago, Foggy now feels like he can’t take his eyes off Matt’s hips, which is a real problem.

“I’m a man of a certain age, Matthew,” Foggy gripes, in the hopes of distracting from his obvious enamored state with sheer bad manners. “Of course I know how to play pool!”

"Good, then I won't go easy on you," Matt says.

"I have a feeling that was never an option," Foggy retorts. "What's a guy like you get out of pool, anyway?

"A guy like me? What's that supposed to mean?

Foggy rolls his eyes. "Don't give me that. It's a pretty visual game!"

"True enough. I was going to ask you to point me in the right direction, depending on whether I end up with stripes or solids."

"I could lie."

"Yeah, but you won't."

"I'm a politician, kiddo. Don't be so sure."

"'Kiddo'," Matt repeats, evidently delighted by it. "You're in a real mood, huh?"

"I'm fine," Foggy says, too sharply. "You want to break or shall I?"

"You go ahead," Matt offers, generously. "I want you to feel like you stood an actual chance, at least to start."

"You're kind of an asshole, you know that?"

"Oh, I'm aware. You can save the energy you're about to put into pretending you don't like it, by the way."

"I don't like it!"

"Sure."

"I really don't," Foggy says, even as he's trying to fight a smile. And winning, but still. "Not right now I don't, at least."

"Yes, you do," Matt replies, knowingly. "Right now, me being an asshole is the only thing stopping you from taking your frustrations out on someone who doesn't deserve it."

Foggy sighs, defeated. "You don't deserve it either."

"Give it fifteen, twenty minutes and see if you still feel that way," Matt says, lightly, and nudges him with his elbow.

Foggy steps up to take the first shot, breaking the neat little triangle of billiard balls that Matt has assembled in the center of the table with the white cue ball easily. Nothing goes into a pocket, of course, not that he really expected it. He's fine at pool, generally speaking, but not great. It's a feeling he's beginning to get used to (and increasingly tired of) in the rest of his life as well.

"Let's keep it simple," he says, as he stands up. "Whoever sinks the most shots wins."

"Easy enough," Matt says, coming to stand next to him. "Where's the cue ball?"

Foggy steps in close to Matt's side, until their arms brush. "Eleven o'clock."

Matt nods and sinks down into his stance. Foggy steps back, both to get out of his way and to admire his form. Matt’s got a nice ass, which is something Foggy noticed about him basically immediately, being gifted by God with both the power of sight and the blessing of bisexuality. He can normally control himself enough to conveniently avoid noticing it, except for right now when it’s late, he’s a little tipsy, and Matt’s suit is perfectly tailored to show it off. It is, quite frankly, a ridiculous situation he’s gotten himself into. Even the dim amber lighting of the bar is blending with the glow of several nearby neon signs—they serve Heineken and Pabst Blue Ribbon here, apparently—to cast Matt’s skin in the dreamiest light possible.

Matt sinks three balls without trouble before Foggy can manage to tear his gaze away from his ass, and even then, it’s only to get distracted by the lovely shape his fingers make around the cue. He misses his next shot by about three millimeters, a miracle that Foggy attributes either to the power of his overwhelming horniness creating some sort of palpable disturbance in the atmosphere or God punishing him for his lustful thoughts by contriving a scenario where Matt’s no longer bending over a pool table in his line of sight. Either way, it’s a reprieve.

“That’s you,” Matt says, still stalking around the table like a jungle cat. Foggy might need to get out more, is the thing.

“How are you this good at pool, anyway?” Foggy asks, as he lines up his shot and delicately avoids letting his hips come into contact with the table. He thinks unsensuous thoughts and doesn’t look over at Matt at all, because, with his luck, if he does, Matt will be innocently fellating the pool cue or some similar such nonsense. Better to avoid it altogether, he thinks.

“Practice,” Matt says, smugly. “And very, very dim vision, technically.”

“I didn’t know that,” Foggy says as he sinks a shot, finally. Even that, the sound of the ball finding the pocket, is kind of erotic to him now because his life is a farce.

“Yeah. Most blind people have some vision. Total blindness is fairly rare.”

“So, what I’m hearing is you totally just let me lead you around most of the time because you really just like walking arm in arm with me. Is that accurate?”

“You caught me,” Matt says, with a soft smile, and Foggy misses his next shot completely. “Not bad.”

“3 to 1,” Foggy replies, pushing himself up.

“You’re on the board,” Matt says, passing behind him closely enough that Foggy catches the scent of his cologne mixed with the Jameson left in his glass. He takes another drink and Foggy wonders what his mouth would taste like right now and also if there’s a historically significant, beautiful river nearby that he could potentially drown himself in. They’re in small town New Hampshire, after all. The chances that Benedict Arnold did something stupid near here back in 1776 and there's a scenic spot with a plaque commemorating it are pretty high. There are worse places to drown yourself, he figures.

“Don’t patronize me,” he grumbles, instead of saying any of that out loud.

“I wasn’t,” Matt says, grinning as he settles into his spot for his next shot.

“How much did Karen beat you by, again? I feel like it might be helpful, for me, to know.”

“It’s not fair,” Matt says in an exaggerated whine that’s in no way convincing. His smile doesn’t help either. “I’m blind and she tricked me!”

“I don’t think her being better at pool than you expected constitutes a trick on her part, Matt.”

“She let me explain the rules to her for like ten minutes!”

“And I bet she let you do that thing where you got real close and showed her how to handle the stick from behind too,” Foggy says, infusing his tone with mock pity.

“Oh, she dropped the ruse well before that point, though I’ll be the first to admit I’m not above that move,” Matt says, unrepentant, and sinks another shot. “But I can always do that for you if you need some pointers!”

“Sure,” Foggy says, sweetly. “Come on over, big boy.”

Matt misses his next shot because he’s too busy doubling over with laughter. “Jesus, Foggy!”

“Don’t put anything on the table you don’t want people to accept, Murdock.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Matt says. “Your turn.”

Foggy sighs as he gets into position. Matt comes to stand at his side and, after a quiet moment in which Foggy attempts to line up his shot, puts his hand on the small of Foggy’s back. It takes all of Foggy’s concentration not to jump away from the touch, but he manages to keep his cool, just barely. 

“Your stance does need work,” Matt says, mildly, and kicks him in the ankle before Foggy can make a smart comment about what his lower back has to do with his stance. “Bring this foot out a little.”

Foggy complies, because his brain can’t think of anything else to do in this moment. “Better?” he asks.

“Good,” Matt replies, and Foggy likes the tone in his voice a little too much for his own well being. “Take your shot.”

Foggy does, and scratches. The humiliation, at least, cuts through the arousal rather effectively. That’s something.

“Saboteur,” he mutters as he goes off in search of the lost cue ball.

“I can improve your stance, but your aim is your own problem.”

“A likely story,” Foggy says, as he returns. “I’m hip to your little mind games now, Murdock.”

He puts the cue ball into Matt’s outstretched hand. Matt is entitled, per the rules, to place it wherever he likes on the table to set up his next shot, but he stands there cradling it thoughtfully in his palm, testing its weight, instead, for a long moment, like a total sociopath, adding more force to the argument that Foggy is currently being punished by a mean-spirited and vengeful god.

“You know massaging that thing won’t help you score, right?”

Matt gives him a smile that indicates he either appreciates some good trash talk between men or that he’s seen through to the very heart of Foggy’s desires and found them trivial and amusing in the grand scheme of things. Either way, it’s a good look on him. 

“Can’t hurt, can it?” Matt asks, smugly, and places the cue ball before lining up his shot and sinking it in one practiced, elegant motion. “5 to 1, correct?”

“Yep,” Foggy says, leaning back to watch the show without guilt now, since he’s paying for it so dearly at the cost of his self-respect. Matt sinks another shot and Foggy doesn’t even care because he’s too transfixed by the way the fabric of Matt’s dress shirt bunches up around his bicep and spreads taught between his shoulder blades. Foggy takes a healthy sip of his drink because his mouth is suddenly so dry.

"You know," Matt says, casually, with his ass unceremoniously in the air because pool is the greatest game ever invented, in Foggy's not-entirely-sober opinion (even if he is losing spectacularly), "we are rapidly approaching the point in the game where you can't actually win."

"Yes, I'm aware. Believe it or not, I can do basic math. It's one of my very few skills."

"I don't agree with that assessment."

"You don't think I can do math?"

"I think you have lots of skills," Matt says, as he brings his score up to seven. "The gift of foresight, for one."

"What?"

Matt smiles. "You were smart to accept the offer not to play for money."

"Oh, right. Sorry, I thought—you're right. That was smart.

"What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing, I—it's not important. I was just confused for a second there."

"Foggy..."

"Just take your next shot, Matt," Foggy interjects, harshly. "You're one point away from ensuring complete domination over me."

Without turning away from him, Matt reaches out to poke the cue ball with his cue, leaving it to roll hesitantly and without urgency into the bumpers around the edge of the table. "You're up," he says, with a helpless shrug, and comes to stand next to Foggy.

He sighs. "Matt, listen—”

"I didn't mean the tobacco thing," Matt says, ignoring him. All of the levity of a moment ago is gone. They're not cheerfully messing around anymore, it looks like. "That's not how I'd bring it up. You know that, right?"

"I do know that. You wouldn't—it's just that it's been on my mind. That's why I went there. It has nothing to do with you."

Matt nods, absently. "I hope so."

"It's the truth," Foggy says, grabbing him by the arm to emphasize his sincerity. "And you've been a real class act for not rubbing my nose in it. I deserved an 'I told you so' at the very least and you haven't given me one, so I should be more appreciative."

"You don't have to thank me for not kicking you when you're down."

"I went to you for advice on how to handle things with the Appropriations subcommittee and then blatantly ignored all of the very good advice you gave me. 'I told you so' would be getting off easy."

Matt smiles, reluctantly. "To be fair, I don't think you really went to me for advice. You knew what you wanted to do before you came to me."

"What was I looking for then?"

"Permission," Matt suggests. "Forgiveness. Maybe some mild fawning over your political acumen."

"All of the above, maybe," Foggy admits, warily, and rubs his face. "I'm sorry."

"For which part?"

"Ignoring your good advice, for one thing. And, well, if I made you feel like I was pulling rank on you, that's not good either."

Matt laughs. "You do outrank me, Foggy."

“Still,” Foggy says. “I like to think I’m not that guy, usually.”

“What guy?”

“The one who’s so far up his own ass that he can’t see anyone else’s point of view.”

“Oh, yeah,” Matt says, thoughtfully. “You’re definitely not that guy.”

“I was to you.”

“Not really. It was one situation where you didn’t take my advice. That’s going to happen if we work together for any stretch of time. It’s going to happen again, I’d guess. I hate to think you’re going to beat yourself up this much every time.”

Foggy nudges Matt with his elbow ineffectively. “You’re being too nice to me.”

“And you’re being too hard on yourself,” Matt replies. “Someone’s got to be nice to you. Might as well be me.”

“I notice this vow of kindness doesn’t extend to letting me win at pool.”

“Even I have my limits of good grace, Foggy,” Matt says, with a smile. “Besides, I already lost once tonight. My ego barely survived it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Foggy says, earning a confused look from Matt. “Karen asked me to check on you before she left. She was worried about your fragile mental state, that maybe you were weeping over your humiliation alone in the bathroom.”

“No such luck,” Matt laughs.

“My theory was that we had you to thank for the back-to-back Shania Twain songs on the jukebox at the time.”

“Also not true, but only because Shania Twain isn’t exactly sulking music.”

“Speak for yourself,” Foggy says. “I could sulk to Shania.”

“Well, that’s why they pay you the big bucks, I guess,” Matt replies, absently leaning his weight onto the pool cue. “I didn’t know you were paying such close attention.”

Foggy pauses with his glass midway to his lips. “What?”

“When Karen and I finished our game,” Matt says, still brightly but with a strange edge, like he’s not sure mentioning this is the right thing to do. “I thought you were still outside with Jeri.”

“I was,” Foggy says, and then reconsiders. “I mean, I was for most of your game, I think. When I came back in, you two seemed to be finishing up.”

They also seemed to be laughing and touching a whole lot, which is why Foggy hadn’t come over. He’d slunk off to drink at a table with Marci and Ben and a few of the new people Jeri had hired to run the campaign while they went nine rounds over the wording of a single sentence in the speech for the President’s official announcement for the bid for re-election. The senior staff and the campaign staff were finding it difficult to mesh together so far and it meant that this important speech was stuck in limbo between them like a child of divorce in a nasty custody battle. Everyone, it seemed, was having a miserable time of it lately, which was especially inconvenient because there’d never been more scrutiny on the administration before this particular moment.

Matt was, technically, campaign staff but he’d been on the payroll longer than anyone else, because he’d been doing polling for them for a while now and they’d just decided to extend his contract and fold it into their re-election efforts. So far, he was keeping his head above water and wasn’t getting embroiled in the stupid little pissing matches happening elsewhere, which was impressive. He’d also been pitching in and helping with the announcement speech where he could, but there were a lot of egos to soothe or flatter in that area and it wasn’t what they were specifically paying him to do. Still, Foggy’s been pleased so far watching him navigate these tense situations and remain professional and undeterred in spite of them. It’s partly because Foggy had been the one to recommend Matt in the first place that he feels such obvious pride, but it’s hard to ignore that there’s another reason for it. He’s trying to make peace with the fact that he’s more than incidentally in love with Matt and constant proximity is not tempering it at all. In fact, seeing Matt every day now and watching him succeed at the thing he loves doing makes Foggy so absurdly happy, it’s almost like these professional victories are happening to him by proxy. Which means, in terms of ever getting past this unfortunate crush, Foggy is monumentally fucked.

“You should have come over,” Matt says, still talking about his game of pool with Karen, oblivious to Foggy’s inner torment. “She said you would, when you got back.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt anything.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“I’m bad company tonight,” Foggy says, spreading his arms out defensively.

“You’re never bad company, as far as I can tell.”

“What did I ever do to earn such loyalty from you? Just let me call myself an asshole, man.”

Matt sighs, disappointed. “You made one mistake, Foggy. You’ve got to—”

“I made a mistake that could cost us the election!”

“It could, but that doesn’t mean it will! It’s still early and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover. And, more importantly, you got the Justice Department 30 million dollars to go after the tobacco industry! That’s what they asked you to do! That’s a victory! Why don’t you see that?”

“Because there was a larger victory that I left on the table in my need to get anything done in this fucking town,” Foggy says. “I mean, not this town. We’re in Bumblefuck, New Hampshire. But you know…”

“Yeah, believe it or not, I followed that,” Matt says, unimpressed. “And smaller victories are nothing to scoff at. I think you’ve been in this business so long you’ve lost sight of that. Small victories are how you build your way up to bigger ones. In fact, most big victories are comprised of smaller ones. You’re good at what you do, Foggy. You know all this!”

“I don’t feel good at this anymore.”

“Yeah, well, speaking as someone who grew up around professional boxers, I’ll tell you that the right time to ask a man about his next fight is not when he’s just been K.O.’d. You’ve still got the flashlight in your eyes checking for a concussion. I wouldn’t make any career judgments right now.”

“You think we’ve been K.O.’d?” Foggy asks.

“I think the administration’s on its ass right now, for sure,” Matt replies, with the steely calm of a real political operative and Foggy’s pride in him is not misplaced even a little, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back up. The numbers I’m seeing are better than expected and they’re built on all the good you’ve done for the last three years. People will remember why they voted for you guys in the first place soon enough.”

“God, I hope you’re right.”

“I am and I think that earns me the right to say something that might hurt your feelings a bit.”

Foggy takes a fortifying sip of his drink, bracing himself. “Go for it, then.”

“As great as you are, this election won’t be won or lost on your actions alone,” Matt says, gently. “I know it’s tempting to decide that what you personally do or don’t do is the most important thing in the universe, to take every setback as a condemnation of your efforts and proof that you need to double down and do more, but you’re a part of a team. It’s not up to you to win this election by yourself. And it won’t be your fault and only yours if we don’t.”

“Why would that hurt my feelings?” Foggy asks, far too casually. He doesn’t know who he thinks he’s trying to fool here.

“Because it would hurt mine,” Matt says, “if our situations were reversed.”

Foggy understands that for what it is: an offer of a hand up off the ground, an acknowledgement that he and Matt are the same in this regard. It’s not nothing and he’d be wise to take what’s being given to him here, but he’s not quite there yet.

“I could have done more, Matt.”

“And you’ll have plenty of chances to do so. Tomorrow’s another day.”

“I think it’s always going to haunt me, the things we didn’t get through, the things we compromised on to appeal to our opposition. I think it’ll kill me, eventually.”

“You’ve done a lot of good too.”

“Yeah,” Foggy agrees, solemnly. “But enough? I’m not sure.”

Matt lets that sit, rather than trying to placate him with some sort of truism, which is nice. It’s meaningful to him that Matt knows this isn’t some empty question coming from him, that Foggy really means it when he asks it. He feels certain that this is something Matt worries about too, that this is a question Matt’s asked himself at the end of many days before. It’s dangerous, honestly, feeling this close to someone. This kind of intimacy isn’t something he feels capable of shaking off and pretending isn’t there, most of the time.

“You didn’t answer my question before, you know,” he says, eventually, even though it feels sacrilegious to break this particular silence.

“Which one?” Matt asks, shifting the cue back and forth between his hands in what could be a nervous tic or maybe he’s just bored with this conversation. It’s hard to tell.

“The one about what I did to earn such loyalty.”

Matt shrugs, staring into the middle distance. “You got me this job, didn’t you?”

“Not really,” Foggy says. “I remembered your name. That’s about it. Everything else was a result of your hard work.”

“Then, I guess it’s all for remembering my name.”

“That’s the real answer?”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Matt replies, leaning into his side. “If you win this game, I’ll give you the real answer.”

“I’d need a miracle for that to happen,” Foggy grumbles. “Are you sure I can’t just bribe you?”

“Okay, final offer,” Matt answers, with a cryptic smile, “you get the eight ball into any pocket on this turn and you win.”

“That’s a stupid bet, Murdock. Where did you learn to gamble?”

“Take it or leave it.”

“You’re winning seven to one. Are you out of your mind?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just that confident that you won’t be able to make the shot.”

“Or maybe you just really want to tell me your deepest, darkest secret.”

“My deepest, darkest secret has nothing to do with you, Foggy. You’re getting a shallow, well lit secret out of me in this bargain, if anything.”

“We’ll see,” Foggy replies, breezily, as he approaches the table to line up his shot. He doesn’t have Matt’s lithe sort of confidence or any kind of delusion that he’d paint a tempting picture right now even for someone who could see him, but he is stupidly determined, so he likes his odds in this situation just fine.

“Oh,” Matt interrupts, innocently, at the precise moment Foggy was going to pull his cue back and take the shot. “Since we’re now wagering on the outcome of this game, I should ask: what do I get?”

“What do you get?” Foggy repeats, irritated. He feels certain Matt timed that question to throw him off and he’s not pleased about it. “You’re going to beat me in the most humiliating way possible! What more do you need?”

“I’d like a secret too.”

“Fine, but you had better be satisfied with an equally shallow, well lit one from me too.”

“That kind of depends on what kind of secret you consider the answer to my question to be.”

“What question?”

“What made you remember my name?”

Foggy actually stands up to consider this fully. It’s hard to tell with Matt, if he’s aware of the way Foggy can’t help but flirt with him sometimes and how seriously he takes it. Matt gives as good as he gets, Foggy thinks, but whether he knows that Foggy would gladly make real on all the innuendo he throws at him is another matter. All of which just makes it that much more confusing why he’d make this request in the first place. Does he want flattery? Does he want some confirmation that the new opportunities in his career were gotten honestly? Or does he want Foggy to admit to something here? And why would he want that? To laugh at him? To clear the air? To prove his suspicions about why he got this job are true?

Foggy’s not prepared for any of those scenarios. Matt is maybe just joking around (though he certainly doesn’t look like it) but he’s asking for a bigger secret than he realizes. And Foggy will not be explaining that to him, because even that would be admitting too much. They’re going to be working together closely for a while yet and Foggy’s not going to ruin it now, not right out of the gate. He’s got more instinct for self-preservation than that.

“Fine,” he says, setting his sights on the eight ball again. “You have yourself a deal. Now, shut up and stop distracting me.”

Matt crosses his arms over his chest, looking self-satisfied and unconcerned. This expression changes into one of shock and disbelief at the sound of the eight ball landing in the middle pocket on the left side of the table.

“Like I said,” Foggy states, rounding the corner of the table, “that was a bad bet.”

“You cheated,” Matt exclaims.

“How?”

“I didn’t hear the cue touch the ball. Did you—did you just move the eight ball with your hand?!”

“Of course,” Foggy says, with a shrug. “You never said how I had to get the eight ball into the pocket, only that it had to happen on my next turn.”

Matt laughs in disbelief. “That’s ridiculous! And very clearly against the rules!”

“Not against the ones you set, though. Technically.”

“Yeah, technically, I guess,” Matt says. “But don’t you feel bad winning this way?”

“Of course not,” Foggy answers, gesturing widely with the cue still in his hands. “I’m a pathetic little man, Matthew.”

“Five minutes ago, I would have argued with that kind of negative self-talk, but I’m no longer feeling generous towards you at all.”

Foggy shrugs as he reaches past Matt for his drink. “I would totally understand if you didn’t want to uphold your end of the bargain, by the way. I mean, if our situations were reversed, I would still do it, but I’m a class act, through and through.”

“You’re a cheat is what you are,” Matt says, and it might be the inadequate lighting in here playing tricks on him, but Foggy thinks there might be color rising in Matt’s cheeks. “This is why no one trusts anyone in Washington, you know.”

“I know,” Foggy says, indulgently. “Like I said, it’s up to you. But you’ll also recall I warned you never to put something on the table that you don’t want your opponent to accept.”

“I didn’t mind the idea of you winning, I just didn’t think you’d cheat to get it!”

“Then you underestimated how baffled I am by your loyalty to me.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Matt says, leaning back to rest more fully against the table behind him. “I think it’s obvious why I’d…what makes me feel that way towards you.”

“That’s still not an answer,” Foggy replies, at the same moment he realizes Matt leaning back didn’t put that much space between them after all. He’d gotten pretty close to reach for his drink and, maybe, just to push this conversation from trash talk more firmly into flirting territory. For someone who doesn’t want to fuck things up, he’s really pushing his luck.

Matt exhales noisily, and Foggy can feel it on his neck, that’s how close they’re standing. They’re in a bar, of course, so they have their excuses. It’s noisy, with the patrons and the jukebox and the TVs. They could need privacy, given the jobs they have and the sensitive nature of the information they have access to as part of them. But that’s not why Foggy’s doing this and he suspects that, even if he’s just following Foggy’s lead, Matt doesn’t ultimately have a better reason.

“Why did you remember me?” Matt asks, quietly. “I mean, me, of all people? What made me stand out? What did I do right?”

Everything, Foggy wants to say. You do everything right. You’re smart and conscientious and charming and everyone likes you and everyone remembers you and you’ve got a mind and mouth that won’t quit and an ass to match. Remembering you wasn’t the hard part. Forgetting you someday will be. “Matthew Murdock,” Foggy says, carefully, appreciatively, like he’s really savoring every vowel and consonant. “Very alliterative. Extremely easy to remember.”

Matt’s answering smile is slow-dawning to the point of decadence and he tucks his chin to hide it. “My middle name is Michael, you know.”

“Goddammit,” Foggy groans, because he can’t say what he’s really thinking, which is, come back to my room and I’ll make sure you never want to leave. He’s so fucking in love, it’s honestly stupid.

“As for me,” Matt says, a moment later, after careful consideration, “and what you did—why I feel so—what you asked, I mean…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just that—”

A loud, chirping ringtone severs the tenuous connection of the moment. Foggy stares openly at Matt’s face as he doesn’t react to the interruption at all beyond stopping talking mid-sentence. After a few tense seconds, Foggy clears his throat and steps back.

“I think that’s you, Matt.”

Matt blinks, like he’s waking for a dream and he doesn’t know where he is. “Right,” he says, without confidence and fishes his phone out of his pocket. He holds it like he doesn’t remember owning such a thing in the first place for a long moment before he flips it open to answer it.

“Hello?” he asks, frowning in concentration. “Oh, Nadia, hi. Yeah, no, not too late, don’t worry. Can you give me one second?”

He pulls the phone away from his ear and puts his hand over the receiver before addressing Foggy. “We’re doing some polling of potential voters on the West Coast tonight, and they need to give me the early data.”

“Right.”

“The speech writing team is going to want this information tomorrow. It will impact the messaging.”

“Understood,” Foggy nods. “You, uh, need to take this, then.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Matt admits, looking apologetic.

“Don’t worry. Cell service is a little better outside, if that helps.”

Matt frowns briefly before his expression clears and he nods briskly. “Thanks. That might be a good idea.”

“I’ll, um, clean this up,” Foggy says, gesturing to the pool table. “You go ahead.”

“Alright,” Matt says, chewing his lip. “Will you head out after that?”

“I might. I could, I guess. Why?”

“No reason.”

“You want me to wait? Walk back to the hotel with you when you’re done?”

“You don’t have to,” Matt responds, looking awkward. It’s a nice out, and it would probably be better to put a little space between them—it’s just too tempting for Foggy to be around Matt like this, late at night, in casual environments, with alcohol and dumb wagers blurring the lines between them that should be crystal clear.

“I’ll wait,” he says, instead, hating the sincerity in his voice. “I don’t mind waiting.”

The worst part is that it’s the most honest thing he’s said all night.

#HWS30days #homelywenchsociety #im not sure this will make any sense to anyone except me or who hasn’t seen tww but…here we are #tww au #series: a more perfect union #daredevil #mattfoggy #matt murdock #foggy nelson #matt x foggy #i don’t know the actual rules of pool everyone forgive me i just let them make shit up #also I’m not sure it makes sense for Matt to still be good at pool in a no powers AU #but him being a slutty pool shark is really important to me #so it stays #30 day challenge #writing challenge #this is so long RIP

[destiny-smasher]

Stuff From 2023!

List of things of note I experienced in 2023! A few things didn't technically release in 2023, I'm sure, but yea. Will contain my 'Top 10 Games I Played in 2023' as well.

Firstly, something I played a lot of this year in bursts but doesn't quite crack my Top 10 is Vampire Survivors. Very addicting, did some very fun goofy shit that had me laughing and engaged in a lizard brain way. Appreciated the many Castlevania references and jokes, too.

A couple of games I played every weekend for a few hours across many weeks this year were Project Zomboid and Roots of Pacha, both in a group 4. We had lots of fun with those two, and I think they're both great co-op time-sink games. Zomboid is a zombie survival sim that has way more attention to detail than its graphics may imply. It's still in early access but the depth to its is honestly pretty dang impressive. Pacha iterates on the Stardew Valley formula in a ton of small but deliberate, thoughtful ways that make for a nice twist on that Harvest Moon style game.

REMAKES

There were so many great remakes this year, on top of just amazing games in general, I can't fit them all into my Top 10. So here's a segment dedicated to most of the remakes I loved this year.

The remake of Super Mario RPG was such a surprise, and turned out very damn well. That game, turns out, is very near and dear to my heart and I did not fully appreciate that until this remake was revealed. It comes just shy of cracking my Top 10 list and that's honestly only because I finished Mother 3 finally right at the tail end of the year. This game manages to still feel weirdly fresh even today just due to how fucking strange it is, and the remake speeds up the pacing a bit while also adding in some new mechanics and a chunk of new post-game content. Everything was handled so well. This is like the new gold standard of complete one-to-one remakes of sprite-based games imo. I will admit the artstyle is a bit 'off' in some ways but I think it's very clean looking and captures that 90's CGI spirit really well, all things considered. And the music, OOF, so damn good.

The remake of Dead Space I don't have much to talk about, but it's very well produced. It's remade so well, in fact, that it felt like my memories of the original, even though I know it's not an exact recreation. Very well done and still holds up as a great horror action game with these improvements.

The remaster of Metroid Prime is so impressive it feels like a remake, even if the game is identical to the original aside from presentation and some control changes. It's an iconic classic, and yet I have no patience to do the Chozo Artifact stuff, so I actually did not roll credits on this version BUT still thoroughly enjoyed reliving the game with a very nice new coat of paint. It makes me excited to see what Prime 4 will look like on, I expect, more powerful hardware.

SHOWS/MOVIES

The year started strong with a TV adaptation of The Last of Us. While I've come to have conflicted feelings with the franchise at large, mainly due to its leading boss man, I thoroughly enjoyed the first season of this series. Very well done adaptation that picked and chose what to keep and what to change and honestly makes for a better story as a whole if you ask me, while not really replacing the game's tactile interactive tensions. Cannot wait to see what they do with Part 2 tbqh. I loved that game more than the original but also felt it was worse as an overall game/experience/narrative. But a fresh take on that same plot could potentially address a lot of the issues I had with Part 2, while simultaneously not really 'replacing' it, either.

The Bear. If you haven't seen it, it's just. Very good television. Two seasons in and it's sitting up there chasing Mr. Robot and Better Call Saul as one of the best live action series I've ever seen. Season 2 did such a great job of giving us deeper dives on the various characters and building toward an organic and rewarding conclusion that still leaves room for another season to theoretically wrap things up. Nothing too crazy with this show, it's super down to earth, and it owns that very well with editing and pacing that varies per episode, kind of in line with the different character perspectives.

Super Mario Bros.: The Movie had me worried for a while, mainly due to the animation studio and casting. And while I'm still not 100% sold on this celebrity casting, I will admit it didn't weight the experience down -- even if it's still the second weakest element by far. The weakest element is the writing. It's not, like, offense -- it's loyal to the source material and works, it functions. But it's not doing anything beyond pushing us from set piece to set piece. If anything, the movie is a bit too short for all of the stuff it's cramming in. But on the upside, there is a lot of amazingly rendered visuals and music to take in. A real treat for fans of the franchise, and the most loyal gaming adaptation in movie form, I would say.

Across the Spiderverse is in essence the first half of a two part film. That makes it kind of difficult to talk about, especially when it's also a sequel, and the production sounds like it was marred with bad management and crunch. But the results they came up with actually met my hopes and expectations for a sequel, and that is saying something, as I had very high expectations. I completely adore this film's stupendous sense of style, editing, framing, writing, and the way it's making meta-commentary on multiple levels on top of just being an effective narrative on its own. This is animated storytelling running at full capacity in my opinion, and in general just film doing all of the kinds of things film can do. So it's no wonder that there's still a rub -- this is the first half of the story they planned. The editing, animation, framing, effects, acting, action sequences, music, writing, theming, just Farore's sake, this is SUCH a damn banger of a film and one of the best movies I've ever seen, which, again, is kind of insane given the circumstances. I can only hope they don't fuck up the conclusion.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was quite the surprise announcement, and as it turns out, quite the surprise adaptation. I won't spoil much but I will say that by the end of the first episode, it becomes very apparent that this series is no mere by-the-books adaptation, and does something unique and edifying, even if it still maintains a certain surface-level depth I wish the franchise would push beyond. Either way, I enjoyed it way more than I expected to going in, and I think it makes for a great companion to the rest of the series. The animation style was super fun, as well, with some great action sequences.

But Blue Eye Samurai sucker-punched me, having released before I'd even known about it. This show is something else, something unlike any other animated show I've seen besides Arcane. And it's not like it's mimicking Arcane, it's just the closest I can think to compare it to: a quality, thoughtfully framed, thoughtfully written, made-for-adults animated series. It tows the line between fantasy and realism in a refreshing way, its protagonist is great, its cast is compelling, its plot goes to some neat places, and things just feel very well thought-out and well-executed. Slap this in second place behind Arcane as the TV series I am the most excited to see more of in the future, just ahead of The Bear.

Something I did near the end of the year was watch The Hunger Games movies, back to back over the course of like, a week. Have not read the books but man, watching these sure made me interested in doing so at some point. I totally get why people were so enamored with this franchise, and honestly, I think its themes and messages are more relevant now than they were when this franchise was at the peak of its popularity. The films certainly have glaring issues for my tastes but yea, I managed to really enjoy them as a whole despite my lack of mainstream sensibilities. Looking forward to reading the books eventually.

Another thing my wife shared with me was 花ざかりの君たちへ (often called 'Hana-Kimi' for short). Specifically, the 2007 version, as, uh, apparently there are multiple adaptations of this. It was a live action Japanese drama about a high schooler who was born female but transfers into an all-boys school, identifying as a boy while she is there. There's more to it than that, and I won't say it handles everything the best (it's from the mid 2000's) or concludes things in quite the way I'd have preferred. Not to mention it's kind of weird seeing many tropes I'm used to seeing in anime rendered by physical, real actors. BUT it was overall a really sweet, adorable, funny, heartfelt, and reached for pro-queer expression in a time and place when that wasn't mainstream yet (and honestly kinda still isn't depending on who you ask).

Good Omens Season 3 also dropped this year. I actually don't have much to say partly because I think a big element of it is just not knowing what to expect going into it! But it was also very good, very fun, pretty damn gay, I really enjoyed it and am crossing my fingers hard they get to wrap it up the way they want.

All right! Onto my personal top 10 GOTYs.

TOP 11 GAMES

(I played and finished in 2023)

11) Mother 3

The one entry on this list that did not actually come out this year -- in fact, it's never technically released outside of Japan. Originally release in 2007 on the Game Boy Advance, this quirky RPG has developed quite the reputation. I started playing the fan translation back in like 2020, and only got around to finally finishing it this year. While that likely did tarnish the experience a bit for me, so does the final third or so -- it kind of drags on a bit, and any old school format RPG that requires grinding to progress can become a bit of a chore.

Thankfully, Mother 3 did earn its hallowed reputation in my eyes now that I have experienced it. I totally get the passion for this game now, and I am a convert. It makes me want to finally finish Mother 2, aka Earthbound. But here's the biggest thing about Mother 3 I weirdly did not expect going in, yet smashed my face in like a hammer by the time I finished it:

without Mother 3, there is no way Undertale/deltarune would exist.

The DNA for Toby Fox's works is achingly obvious in its relation to this game, specifically. I won't spoil anything and I won't go into my long list of evidence like an Ace Attorney case, but trust me, there is ample evidence to make this claim.

And that also means that Mother 3 stands on its own merits as doing things that RPGs just plain were not doing in 2007, and in some ways still aren't today. Aside from some pacing issues further in, the characters in your party aren't as developed as much as I'd like. BUT the overall narrative it tells, especially in those opening chapters, have a rare kind of earnest, human magic to them that most games just don't let themselves fall into. And it concludes in ways I did not expect and yet offered clarity as to why it is so beloved, and how Toby Fox was so inspired to put his own mark on the gaming landscape.

I owe a great deal to Undertale, personally, and as such, I also owe a great deal to Mother 3. You don't need to have played others in the series to enjoy it, you'll just be missing some referential stuff here and there. It's quite playable and unique by today's standards and I strongly recommend it if you want an RPG that is heartfelt, funny, fun mechanically, and has some simple but hard-hitting things to say about the world we live in, and what we are doing to ourselves and that world.

10) Super Mario Bros. Wonder

What can be said that hasn't been said already? Nintendo knocked it out the park with this one. This was everything I've wanted in a 2D Mario for like 15 years. The only thing 'missing' from it is playable Rosalina, but hey, we finally got Daisy in a mainline Mario game, so I'll take it. After a decade or so of dragging their feet with low-effort but enjoyable 2D games, Super Mario Wonder finally, at long last, captures what makes Nintendo games great and with their best foot forward. They haven't done 2D Mario this well since World on the SNES in 1991. And they have never put this level of production into a 2D game since... ever?

This is one of the all-time best 2D platformers out there, and for once it finally feels like 2D Mario is running on all cylinders as a big budget passion project kind of game. You love to see it.

9) Scarlet Hollow

This game isn't technically finished yet, as it is episodic, and its developers wanted to release Slay the Princess in the interim, but that doesn't stop its quality from being good enough to make my list. This game is doing the kinds of things visual novels should be doing, the kinds of things I wish to do in a sense with my own visual novel development.

It's a horror themed experience but balances the high tension with actual real stakes very well against mostly down-to-earth conversations, with lots of great tricks and touches of presentation you don't typically see in indie visual novels, along with a fantastic art style, charming characters (my favorite character has turned out to be the one I immediately disliked at first, and that's rare for me), and meaningful choices.

I can't wait to see how this one wraps up but even as it stands it's one of the best things I experienced in 2023.

8) Xenoblade Chronicles: Future Redeemed

I will admit I skipped Xenoblade Chronicles 2 after giving it an honest go in like, 2019 or so. A few hours in and i couldn't stomach it, the tonal whiplash from Xenoblade 1 (one of the best RPGs I've ever played) was too much for me. But then Xenoblade 3 came out last year, and is also one of the best RPGs I've ever played, even better than the original for my tastes.

But I wasn't prepared for the DLC to drop a whole ass side-game on us, a self-contained prequel to 3 that serves as narrative cohesion to tie the whole trilogy together with a bow on top, complete with perfectly tuned fanservice (and not the sexy kind, although grown-up Rex and Shulk, well, yes) that really respects its fanbase for investing hundreds of hours in this franchise.

Matthew is easily one of my all-time fav RPG main characters, probably the favorite RPG main character when I think of it (as main characters specifically go, anyway), and his game is a fraction of the length of many RPGs out there. But as usual, the entire cast had their charms, the story was nicely paced, the gameplay and overall length was just about damn perfect for what I could want from the genre.

As an expansion to a pre-existing game, this is one of the top 3 best expansions/DLCs I've ever played. When taken as a side story to an overarching trilogy, I'm not even 100% in on the lore and I still enjoyed the hell out of it, it's just the kind of thing that hits a tone of 'damn, video games are a fucking unique medium that we can do specific narrative things with across years of telling a story.'

I don't know where Monolith Soft is going next, though the ending certainly offers some intriguing teasing, but I suspect I will be there day one to see it, and am looking forward to it.

7) Pikmin 4

Given the long wait (10 years!) one might understand fan concern over the state of Pikmin 4. Turns out, that extra time was spent making this game fucking good. It's not the largest, most impressive, most complex, most inspiring, most 'anything' game I played this year, and yet I can't help saying that this is a damned good video game. It really nailed what it set out to do as a sequel, incorporating just the right ideas to spice up the formula while bringing things back to how Pikmin 2 was, and improving on the series in basically every way -- including stuff to do!

This is easily the most Pikmin game... in a Pikmin game. I still haven't 100%'d it. Without giving away any details, I'll just say that when a game rolls credits and you're only like, halfway through its content, and it just keeps going, that's just kind of wild. It would've felt like a great game even then, but the breadth and depth it ends up going to in order to keep giving you ways to engage with its wonderfully detailed world and addictive mechanics, I love it.

I just want more of it. Give me DLC with more Dandori content, the formula and feel just works so well at this point.

6) Sea of Stars

How the hell I forgot to include this one on my list initially is boggling. Easily one of the best indie games I've ever experienced. The writing is nothing to, well, write home about, but it's not bad. And in fact the story has a lot of great things going on, from an interesting world to a very potent arc with the leading support character (who, let's face it, is kind of more the main character than your two main characters).

The game's art and music are phenomenal, capturing the essence of 90's era RPGs but clearly doing things not capable back then. Made even sweeter, the game is a prequel to the studio's prior work, The Messenger, which I also played and adored in tandem, kind of going back and forth between the two once I was partway into Sea of Stars. The way this RPG repurposes songs from Messenger as well as all kinds of seemingly superfluous elements but makes it feel cohesive is pretty great.

The game also trims a lot of the fat you'd find in older RPGs, as well as lets you customize your experience in a modern way using collectibles you can toggle on and off to grant all kinds of effects, like increasing or decreasing the difficulty in various ways.

The homage paid to classics like Chrono Trigger and Super Mario RPG is clear but it's not at all copy-cat-ing, instead wearing those inspirations proudly on its sleeves and forging its own path with its own ideas. A fantastic collection of party members, a wonderful world, amazing presentation, and environments and pacing that help it stand apart from the genre that inspired it. I wish we got to know the leads better, there is a lack of character growth in many ways, but that's me grasping at straws to critique, it's just a fantastic experience and the studio should be very proud of what they've accomplished.

5) Hi-Fi Rush

This is gonna be a running trend from here on out, but on any other year, Hi-Fi Rush would've been my GOTY, easy. From this point on, we're talking measures of inches rather than miles in terms of my love for these games.

Hi-Fi Rush finally delivered on something I have waited like 20 years for: a rhythm action adventure where playing the game in sync with the music felt fucking cool and gave me emotional resonance in a way only this medium can. The humor was charmng. The visual aesthetic is almost peak 'my taste.' The music was groovy with a few tracks I did not see coming but loved seeing how they were incorporated. The story was surprisingly fun! The characters were fantastic, I loved the entire main crew in a way I rarely ever do and would jump at the chance to spend more time with (and hey, there's a whole bunch of post-game I have yet to do, so I intend to in 2024).

The only real thing I could reasonably ask for from this game is a way to play as those other party members in post-game content or new-game plus or something. And who knows, maybe we get that some day. Even if we don't, what they came up with here is the next best thing besides. And what we got is one the most video-gamey video games I have ever played, a real classic and one I think will go down as one of my all-time favs. A passion project given meaningful time, budget, and creatives to bring it to life.

Had this game offered multiple playable characters, a bit more development in its story, and maybe a stronger climax, it'd be higher. I still love it to death and want more games like it regardless.

Hi-Fi Rush is exactly what kind of game we could have gotten more of if the Internet hadn't pushed gaming into a 'live service' direction. It is literally the spirit of a PS2/GameCube game given modern form. And either way, we did get it, at least, in that form, and it fucking rocks.

4) Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

This year was big for remakes and remasters, but one stands tall above the rest, if you ask me. The original RE4 has stood as my fav in the franchise, the one that got me into the franchise, the one that got me into M-rated games in the first place. Lots of nostalgia, but it's held up surprisingly well over the years despite some limitations of the time (mainly the controls) and some older-fashioned sensibilities ("with ballistics, too~").

But Capcom fucking nailed it with this reimagining. Like Final Fantasy VII: Remake, this game is not a remaster, or a one-to-one recreation. It is a brand new game, built from the ground up, reimagining the original entirely, complete with new mechanics and story. But unlike with FF7, this is also shockingly authentic and loyal to the original at the same time. It remixes elements from the original game, maintains most of the original's map design, adds in new stuff, removes some of the more goofy shit -- and even 90% of what feels 'removed' is revealed to be repurposed for the Ada side story DLC.

It looks great, it sounds great, the adjustments to characters and story are improvements across the board, (except for Hunnigan, RIP) the gameplay is improved in intensity and feel and action and replayability. And yet despite all of this, it balances that campy tone of the original just enough to still evoke what I loved about the original's tone. And it doesn't outright replace the original game, either. The two are now like different recipes of the same sandwich or something. There's reasons to revisit the original, though for me this has now replaced the remake of RE2 as my fav in the franchise.

I really don't know where they go from here but I will look forward to it, and regardless, they fucking nailed this one.

3) Street Fighter 6

Two Capcom games, back-to-back? They had a fucking good year in my eyes. The interesting thing about this particular entry is that unlike the others on this list, I will be continuing to play this one for hours and hours into 2024, especially with more fighters still planned. And in another year, this would've easily been my GOTY.

After all, Street Fighter 6 is the single-best traditional fighting game I think I've ever played. And while fighting games are my overall personal favorite genre, I'm more of a Smash player who also loves the hell out of Street Fighter and then dabbles in Tekken and whatever else releases. Street Fighter has always been one of my go-to top multiplayer games since I got into the franchise with SF4 in 2010. While I did enjoy SF5 well enough, it just didn't keep me hungry to come back for more like 4 did. SF6 has fixed that problem by way of a multitude of changes.

It has easily the most fun single player mode I've seen any fighting game have. Like, yea, The Subspace Emmisary (and even then, I don't love that mode like other folks do, I kinda think it's... fine?) but tbqh World Tour is just better in most every way. You get to build your own fighter, earn and mix and match different costumes and individual character special moves with each fighter's fight style. You get to just hang out with the SF characters, get to know them as people, their hobbies, their fears, their insecurities, their passions besides just beating the shit out of each other. On top of this, the realistic art style shift (a by-product of the RE Engine) seals the deal on what Street Fighter 6 is aiming to do: humanize its cast.

Is it still wacky as fuck? Is it still comical and weird and goofy? Hell yes, it is. Is the story mode deep in its narrative? Not in the slightest. But it's still stepping confidently in a direction fighting games should be trying to, not being too self-serious, but also being earnest.

And I haven't even touched on the mechanics! The Drive System alone is a brilliant addition that adds a sort of 'stamina' system that works so well to add an extra layer of decision making and tension. The game's not perfectly balance imo but for how much is here it is surprisingly damn well balanced, especially given they have insisted on not pushing out a single balance patch since it launched in June. For most any other competitive game, that would be like suicide for the scene, but the game seems to be thriving and selling extremely well for the franchise. And it's earned it.

I will absolutely be continuing my warrior's journey into 2024 and I can't wait to see what else Capcom has in store for this game.

2) Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Out of every game I played in 2023, Tears of the Kingdom is easily the most technically impressive. From a design standpoint, from a 'how in the hell is the Switch doing all of this without exploding' standpoint. From a 'holy hell how is there this much stuff in a single player game' standpoint. From a 'oh my goddesses that stupid batshit idea I had 100% worked because it actually did make sense' standpoint.

Where Breath of the Wild opened our minds as to what an open world game could be -- fully designed like one giant interconnected 'level' -- Tears of the Kingdom replied in much the way I expected: it pulled a Super Mario Galaxy 2. What I mean by that is that this is a direct sequel, building directly off the foundation of the original. You know. Like video game sequels almost always used to. And which many very successful ones still absolutely do.

But Tears of the Kingdom somehow managed to wow me all over again by adding to that open world's verticality in insane ways -- the Depths alone are probably my favorite 'mechanic' from any Zelda game ever besides the time loop of Majora's Mask (and what that did for the story and gameplay). But beyond the scale of the world basically doubling and then some (floating islands and caves on top of Depths), I was curious how this game could stand tall after Elden Ring, which is easily in my top 10 favorite games of all time at this point. Elden Ring was Fromsoft's reply to BOTW. And yet Tears of the Kingdom still managed to have something new to say in spite of that very strong reply.

Tears of the Kingdom opened the door to let players essentially create their own mechanics. By removing the abilities Link had to engage with the world before, and replacing them with a brand new toolset that includes abilities you just... don't see games give you, because they'd be 'overpowered,' TOTK designs its massive world in ways that invite you to use those 'overpowered' abilities however you see fit.

Being able to interact with the world and objects in this way, being able to fuse them together to create all kinds of effects, or new methods of transportation, even interacting with things not just spacially but in respect to time, it's nuts and fun and I've already poured like 130 hours with still so much I haven't done. And that's the thing: this game wasn't designed to be 100%'d. It was designed to just... be experienced, as much or as little as you want. And games on this level of scale/budget just do not have the guts to let so, so much 'content' be missed out on. And this game does.

It's a technical achievement and while I had my doubts with how strangely little Nintendo had to show, I am very glad that the experience itself manages to breathe new life into one of my all-time favorite games while improving on it in so many ways. It won't convert you if you didn't love the original -- this is a Super Mario Galaxy 2 style sequel, after all. But it's essentially replaced the original in ways I didn't think would be possible.

The story? Oof. Uh, not so much the story, let's ignore that part. That's what Nintendo wants you to usually do, anyway. But everything else, just. Din-damn.

It expands upon the first game's already fairly open-ended nature in an exponential way that I suspect developers will spend years to come trying to pin down, much like how they've spend the past 6 or 7 years trying to replicate BOTW's open world design.

For much of this year, I thought this was personal GOTY. And for many it will be, because it's just an extremely impressive video game.

Number 1...?

Going into this list, I kept telling myself, 'man, on any other year, this would be my GOTY. And if you know me personally you likely have already figured out what my GOTY is by omission. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized just how close these top 5 games are, it really is like centimeters instead of inches, and they each -- well, every game I've mentioned here, beyond the Top 10, as well -- offered something edifying that I was very satisfied with.

And no, it's not Baldur's Gate 3. While I have spent hours playing it in co-op and a little bit solo, that game's just not really for me, exactly. Like, I can enjoy it, and I have massive respect for the dev team and what they accomplished with it. But I don't much care for D&D, and the game just didn't do very much for me personally, I lack the motivation to finish it. Remove Karlach from the game and I have next to nothing to really attach myself to, personally. I definitely get why it's many people's favorite game of 2023, though, and I do think it's a bit of a wakeup call for what can be accomplished by just making a GAME instead of struggling to contort it into a service etc.

Street Fighter 6 is fucking fantastic but it could still use some more actual fighters and incentives to keep playing besides monetizing its players in weird ways. I love it, and it will be the game from 2023 I end up playing the most (it already is, I think). But if it ended as it is, I would be very satisfied.

Hi-Fi Rush is oozing with originality and style and I adore it to death, and when I finished it, I was very satisfied.

Resident Evil 4 kept me addicted for over 100 hours, had an amazing DLC expansion, oozes replaybility in the specific ways I like for a single player action game (rogue-likes besides). I am extremely satisfied by it.

Tears of the Kingdom is so massive and fun to just explore that I know I will continue to play more in the months to come. Will I ever revisit it entirely? I'm actually not sure! That massive length does lend some repetition, even if it's the kind I find therapeutic and satisfying.

And that's what made me realize something. My personal GOTY did not just satisfy me. It made me hungry. It filled me up in a way I didn't think was possible and yet I still hunger for more, because I enjoyed it that fucking much. I played through it twice and still hunger for more. I know I will play it a third time eventually, but mainly I just have not been to remove from my brain the particular ways it made me feel, ways that only a video game can. Nothing about it felt like it needed to be overlooked.

SF6 and RE4 had dubious monetization, TOTK had a story I found to be like 90% boring and it still maintains many of the flaws of the original. And Hi-Fi Rush, while amazing, just didn't scratch the particular itch this game did for me.

1) Lies of P

If you told me that Lies of P was a game developed by some sub-division of FromSoft, I'd believe you. Which is to say I would also believe that it was made by people who wanted to break free from some of the shackles of the now infamous 'soulslike' genre.

A narrative that actually makes sense by the end? Opening up options for the player without requiring specific stat levels? Encounters and boss fights that feel ravenously challenging without just feeling like cheap bullshit? Music that crosses borders beyond 'angry chorus, angrier orchestra'?

Lies of P doesn't quite eclipse Elden Ring, but that's an absolutely unfair comparison given the utter scope and scale and variety that game packs. But Lies of P improves at the FromSoft formula in specific ways, while making concessions in others, and as a result it's just an experience that seeped into my brain like no other game this year, not even Tears of the Kingdom, despite that I put half the hours into this one.

I love all of the games I have mentioned here, you could honestly swap around the order of this top 5 and I could mentally meander a way to justify why, no, actually, this one was my favorite game of 2023. In a year so awful for the people who make games, yet so amazing for games themselves, Lies of P is exactly the kind of game I needed. I needed someone to show me that you can make something directly inspired by someone else's work, yet fine tune it in all the right ways to make it stand just as tall in terms of quality and design. Lies of P made me feel things in ways only a handful of games ever do -- and I would actually count Hi-Fi Rush among those in a regard.

But Lies of P also told a story I found compelling. It had mystery, tension, buildup, it started off seeming like it would do the vague FromSoft schtick only to 100% come together, make sense, be rewarding, and offer a 'true ending' that I got on the first playthrough, organically, without looking things up, because it just... felt right. Not only is the game adapting FromSoft's formula into something its own, it's also doing that with the story of Pinocchio. The gameplay and the story congeal together not in the 'perfect' way that it does with games like Celeste or Undertale, but rather in a more... messy way, like a puppet aching to become a real boy.

The game is full of loss, in its world and for you as the player, who will die many times. But unlike much of FromSoft's catalogue, I never once felt like I died because of bullshit. Was I trolled? Sure, the game definitely 'trolls' you in classic FromSoft fashion, lulling you into a sense of security only to sweep you off your feet. But unlike how FromSoft does it, these circumstances can always be avoided if you're cautious. And if you're not? Hey, 'We got you! We gooottt youuu, haha' and you lose a couple minutes of progress, rather than like fifteen minutes and also an entire level's worth of souls because oh right, this section you just got through is kind of bullshit cheap.

Don't get me wrong, I love Dark Souls. But the thing is, Lies of P takes the parts I love about Dark Souls, admits it can't pull off quite the intricate web of level design, but then throws away everything I do not like about Dark Souls, improves on the things I already liked, and then pushes me to meet it on its level.

The satisfaction of being a boss you spend an hour, two hours on, cannot be understated. It's a feeling unlike any other, and one only this medium can provide. And Lies of P kept me motivated, like Sekiro before it, to keep improving, keep growing, keep trying. And unlike Sekiro, it gave me so many more tools to play with, to learn, to balance in an arsenal with intent. Enemies have elemental weaknesses if I so choose to exploit them, the moveset of one weapon's handle can be applied to a completely different blade, my robotic arm can leverage things in a pinch, or be the backbone to dealing with a boss. Mastery is rewarded with practice. A vicious boss that annihilates you in five seconds can be defeated without a single scratch if you practice enough. Mastery, creativity, quick thinking, and reacting are all rewarded here.

I am more than the hands pulling the strings, I am more than a puppet, I am human. And games like this can only be made by humans, who get that specific itch that only video games that challenge us can scratch. It's not an itch everyone has, but that's why it's my GOTY and not yours, innit?

With its unique setting, its wonderful music, its cozy hub area, its narrative that offers just enough to make me care, but not so much that I am bored or feel misled, its amazing boss designs, and its wonderfully tactile and engaging combat, Lies of P is a game I just can't stop feeling something about whenever I am reminded of it.

It epitomizes so much -- not all, but much -- of what I love about what video games can do, what adaptations can do, and much like how Toby Fox was inspired by Mother 3, what people can do when they are inspired by someone else's work.

As far as I can tell, this is developer Round8's debut game, and just. Holy hell, what a way to come out swinging. I haven't seen a debut game hit this hard since, I don't know, Bastion.

Close your eyes. Come to me. Feel all right.

I did, and I do, and given what you teased at the end of this game, I have extremely high hopes of what you come up with next. And in a landscape where things feel more difficult to get excited for with each passing year, much less new IP, it's so damn refreshing to have both Hi-Fi Rush and this game standing out as signals that, hey, some folks are still willing to invest bigger budgets into new games, new ideas.

Again, a battle of centimeters here and at this point I should wrap this up and go to bed.

But yea, Lies of P reminded me of what makes me, specifically, human, in a very particular way that only it has. And I honestly think out of all of single player games of 2023, I think it will actively stand out in my heart the most in the years to come.

#GOTY 2023 #goty #video games #gaming #Mother 3 #scarlet hollow #super mario wonder #future redeemed #Pikmin 4 #Hi-Fi Rush #re4 remake #TOTK #LOZ TOTK #Tears of the Kingdom #Lies of P #long post #Sea of Stars

[littlemisstfc]

Why TFP Doesn't Work For Me Anymore:

Hello, Hola, こんにちは。

Welcome back to this side of the Hundred Acre Woods. I do miss the feeling of writing on Tumblr here, so from here on and for a New Years resolution, I’ll try to write a new post every other week with thoughts I’ve had since December 2022. A lot has happened since I’ve started grad school and I have a part time job now, so there will be periods of inactivity. Hopefully, my writing can reflect my current opinions right to the best of my abilities, and I hope that you all enjoy them.

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Alright, let’s cut to the chase: I kind of think Transformers Prime isn’t good, to me at least. Let me make it very clear: just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you should stop loving it. After all, the world would be boring if we all shared the same opinion. I’m letting you all right now: I will be dropping a lot of bombshells that will rub off some of you the wrong way. For that, I advise skipping out on this one. Anyways…Transformers Prime is objectively a good show. The animation is the show’s biggest strengths, characters like Ratchet, Knockout, and Dreadwing are fun and interesting, the humor is good, I appreciate its commitment to darker subject matter, and several episodes such as, “Thirst” and “Stronger, Faster” are perhaps one of the best pieces of Transformers media in general. But…at the same time, it’s kind of messy.

From a lack of commitment to storylines to characters that don't feel put together to having stuff that screams Unfortunate Implications to its ending, Transformers Prime is a show that I stray from the more I get older and I have exposure to more Transformers media. On one hand, I appreciate this show being the reason why I got back into Transformers and hell, it’s a part of my username after all aksksksksksjsjsjsjsjsjkakakasa. It also made an impact on Transformers through characters like Knockout appearing in other media. On the other hand, I felt like its godlike status doesn’t make it exempt from criticism. No media is truly perfect, and it’s about time I get into the nitty gritty of why I’m not fond of TFP. Even if you don’t agree with me, at least hear me out.

3, 2, 1, Pingu.

MY FINISH-

My main problem with Transformers Prime is the lack of commitment to furthering certain storylines as well as character growth. Sure, there is character growth from characters such as Arcee and storylines like Starscream trying to be the boss he wanted to be are quite entertaining. However, at the same time, its commitment to its own status quo made this show an entire chore to watch. It felt like a majority of characters are still the same ol by the end of the series, like it felt like what could’ve been sources of character growth are instead ignored in the next episode. The Bulkhead getting sick storyline is the best example of this issue. At one point in Season 2, Bulkhead got infected with toxic energon and it seemed like he would have to stay behind on base. On paper, it’s an interesting premise. It could give him a storyline of feeling insecure over no longer being the bruiser of the team, and learning to overcome these insecurities through ways such as recognizing his other strengths. At the same time, Miko deals with her anxiety over Bulkhead’s predicament and the episode, “Hurt” is the proof of the writing potential here. However, it ended up being resolved too quickly after Smokescreen entered the picture. Bulkhead ended up recovering from his illness rather quickly and his small feud with Smokescreen is over and the next episode, they’re kiking with each other.

Along with other storylines such as the Orion Pax arc, Starscream becoming a neutral at one point, and the Predacons arc, the entire show is like this. It also doesn’t help that characters like Breakdown and Airachnid are thrown to the side, mainly due to their voice actors being too expensive to hire. Meanwhile, other characters like Dreadwing were also killed off due to the show refusing to change the status quo for the sake of furthering the story. And why is this the problem? Well…this show is one of the most notorious examples of Troubled Production. 

In shorter words, the show experienced a lot of production trouble in the writing and budget department, which is mostly John Hasbro’s doing. The company meddled one too many times throughout the show’s entire run, especially with the casting and writing. Originally, the third season was supposed to be about pirates, but a new director was then hired and they basically said, “nope, fuck that,” and made the entire team rewrite the story from scratch. It’s gotten so bad that an ex crew member created an entire ass binder of everything that went wrong. Just, my god... 

The amount of production issues definitely reflected in the show itself. Its strict adherence to Status Quo Is God, having what seems to be a game changing storyline and doing nothing with it, is so frustrating, because the potential of the writing is there. It wants to say something, but couldn’t because the problem behind the curtain is too much to ignore.

"It's Knockout's fault." "Precisely, my-WHAT!?"

First things first, I hate Jack.

Next.

Most of the cast is fine. Ratchet and Knockout are the best characters of their respective character groups, Fowler is the best human character, Miko & Raf are precious, Bee, Arcee, Bulkhead, Wheeljack, and Smokescreen are enduring and likable, Shockwave, Starscream, Soundwave, and Breakdown are the scene stealers besides the best characters I mentioned. Unfortunately, due to the aforementioned production issues, these characters made me ask one question: who are they? Not only does the writing and story never commit to the biggest twists the shows set up, but it never explores any of the characters’ story arcs and motivations. We never learn anything about these people. True, characters like Miko and Ratchet do get character development. However, with characters like Arcee and Starscream, their pain are the only focus that is, “character growth.” Arcee is reduced to her trauma of losing her partners, and the show never allowed her time to grieve properly. In fact, it seems to condemn her for acting like any other person who has to deal with their loved ones’ killers. By the end, her grief and learning to cope with it is pushed aside and it feels like Cliffjumper and Tailgate’s deaths amount to nothing. To have the most prominent female Transformer reduced to her pain is no different from making a female character in TFA be tied to a man’s pain. It’s kind of disgusting of the show to be so dismissive of her storyline like that. Like…I’m sorry, but she deserves fucking better. And it’s no different with Starscream. Homeboy endured so much horrific shit for far longer than is comfortable, and for the show to just push his pain as, “karma” is fucking disgusting. True, he ain’t no saint and he only has himself to blame for his flaws and behavior. However, by having him be the countless target of abuse throughout the show, it only made me want to help him leave the Decepticons for good. He deserves better. It’s why I appreciate Earthspark existing, because it called out his Butt Monkey status and shows how it deeply affects him. And speaking of who is responsible for dishing out this abuse, it’s time to speak about the one half of two characters whom I don’t especially kiki with.

Megatron is just an irredeemable monster here. I love truly despicable and evil characters as much as the next guy, but with this guy, he just feels so off. The jarring disconnect between his backstory and how much of a despicable piece of shit he is results in a character that felt too evil, not to mention filled with the Unfortunate Implications of having a revolutionary with strokes of current social issues turn into a flat out bad guy turned up to 100. Before any of you say, “erm, actually IT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE” to me, let me point this out: I’m approaching this as a person of color. The revolutionary Megatron characterization is a trope that is botched most of the time, because it doesn’t have the nuance and approach that is required to pull it off. If done well, we have Earthspark Megatron (so far). As a result, we have TFP Megatron. 

He’s just that: evil. It also doesn’t help that he has a half assed redemption arc in Predacons Rising. “I now know the true meaning of oppression.” BITCH, YOU FUCKING KILLED PEOPLE. This entire storyline doesn't make up for the utterly despicable shit he did throughout the series. With him still alive, it felt like he faced no consequences for his actions. Him dying and with his body on Earth, with the last face he saw being the one he brutalized the most, is an appropriate punishment! Yes, him being alive and dealing with the consequences of his actions is also a good punishment. However, with the sudden rush from point A to B, his resolve to self exile himself doesn’t feel earned. To me, he doesn’t seem like he’s truly sorry for his actions. Like…EWWW. Fuck out of here, he’ll never be Earthspark Megatron. 

Yes, it’s a joy to see Frank Welker back as Megatron. Yes, he has admittingly few moments of being a delicious evil bastard. Yes, I do understand why some would like the redemption arc. However, for me, he doesn’t work for me.

Now to the other half, we get to the other half of the characters I don’t kiki with. Good lord…this Optimus is just ehhh. Except for the few moments of the same warmth I associate with Optimus, he is just there. He doesn’t feel like a character; he feels like the start of the motivations of other characters. He’s the Deus Ex Machina when the situation gets too serious. We never got any moment to truly know about him as a person, his dynamic with the team feel like they’re more coworkers like a family, and the “Primes don’t party” logic only feels like an excuse to justify him being the Stoic and Serious Optimus characterization that plagues the 2010s. When you compare him to other Optimi, it feels like a jarring disconnect. TFA Optimus shows that you can have an Optimus with a personality and Bayverse Optimus shows that you can have a stoic Optimus with more to him than meets the eye. Plus, moments such as his conversation with Arcee after the entire fiasco with Starscream in Season 1 just feels like condescending compassion at best. Sure, he has well meaning intentions. However, as the bestie Tea-mew explains, it comes across as him invalidating Arcee’s trauma. Just because he is an older figure doesn’t make him correct all the time. She doesn’t owe anything to Starscream and Airachnid, she has every right to feel angry and disgusted at them both. Just god, it’s this moment that pretty much made me decide not to vibe with him anymore. Plus, with how Orion Pax is more interesting and had more development than Optimus ever did, that’s when the writers should’ve looked at the script twice. 

Yes, it’s a joy to see Peter Cullen as Optimus again. Yes, he has his fair share of charming moments. Yes, I understood that he has his own fair share of tragedies that made him the way he is. However, like Megatron, for me, he doesn’t work for me. Notice how I used the same wording here. For me, they both don’t work for me. They’re perhaps one of my least favorite versions of the characters, especially since other Transformers media showed that you can make them both interesting characters. Stoicism doesn’t justify blandness, and evilness doesn’t justify blandness. If you like them, that’s okay. I rather not bother with them both.

Welp, there goes my Twitter follower count.

There are other issues plaguing the series. As much of a fun and interesting character he is, Knockout is also a gay stereotype. I’ll talk about it more sometime in the future, but in shorter terms: this bit from the TFWiki on Knockout’s page is all you need to know.

“When asked at BotCon 2011, the Prime writers said that there is no designation for gay, or straight, for that matter, on Cybertron, where Transformers are created by the AllSpark, not through sexual reproductions. They also said that Knock Out is a knock out, and that the Nemesis is a very "don't ask, don't tell" place. And then they jokingly deflected the matter, claiming that Knock Out's mannerisms are not caused by any particular orientation, but are simply eccentricities caused by "a glitch in the AllSpark" the day he was created... which is unintentionally so insulting to gay people that it could create an awkward silence in the Void."

Okay, WHAT THE ACTUAL F-

Season 2 feels like a mish mash of things the writers were throwing at the board that day. While Season 3 hit the highs of Season 1, it's also a mish mash that is poorly constructed. We never really got closure on characters like Airachnid and Shockwave. Predacons Rising represents everything that affects Prime in the long run, except for a few gems throughout. Like I said, Prime is objectively a good show. However, compared to other Transformers shows, it’s an aesthetic, no substance type of show. If you wanna watch a show filled with a small cast of characters, set on Earth, deal with heavier subject matter, and have exciting moments, just go watch Beast Wars. This show feels like Transformers if it was written by a 12 year old edgelord. The show has a dark and brooding aesthetic, but the story really isn’t. It doesn’t have a lot to say about the premise of Transformers, as well as confusing violence and edginess for complex stories and characters. In fact, let me say this: TFP is too afraid to commit to change and it greatly suffers for it.

Conclusion: Once again…

I wanna make it clear again that just because I don’t like Transformers Prime doesn’t mean you should stop loving it. Don’t let my opinions influence yours. If you like, that’s great.

I felt bad about my current opinions about Prime as a whole because it does deserves its flowers and fanbase for what it does for Transformers as a whole. However, it’s also not a flawless masterpiece like everyone says it is.

I’m most likely never gonna rewatch it again cause it’s not my thing, and that’s okay. In case I do, I just watch clips of my favorite moments. The ultimate irony is that I have the initials of the show I don’t Kiki with anymore. I could change it, but it’s like the annoying younger sibling to me. I can’t really get rid of it aksksksk.

While I appreciate this show for getting me back into Transformers and for bringing characters like Knockout into mainline Transformers, it’s just not for me.

Anyways, Pingu.

#tf discourse #val talks

[overobsessedfanboy23]

Some Yugioh Dub Names I Actually Like

Because sometimes these dubs can do things right. The name changes I’m gonna mention here are all either justified changes or just fitting names in general, to the point where I actually use a few of these over the Japanese names.

Lua and Luca to Leo and Luna

Those sub names are fucking confusing, have a bajilion different spellings and are easy to mix up. “Leo” and “Luna” still definitely give off a twin name vibe while not being too similar and are also way easier to use. Also, “Leo” means lion and lions are prideful and loud and is a fire sign, associating it with the sun. “Luna” means moon and the moon is quiet and reflective and is often outshined by the sun. Their dub names reflect their characters perfectly.

Obomi to Lillybot

“Lillybot.” How can you hear that name and not melt a little? It’s so cute. And definitely something a 13 year old would come up with when using the word “litterbot” as a base.

“Other Yugi” to Yami Yugi

I didn’t watch this one in sub but from the clips I’ve seen, the implication really does seem to be that Yugi has had this other spirit inside him for who knows how long that all his friends know and not one of them though to come up with a way to differentiate them outside of calling him the “other Yugi.” The nickname Yami is cute, even if it wasn’t used after like… season 3? XD Other than that though, I like it.

Haruto Tenjo to Hart Tenjo

“Hart” is a cute name, dammit. Also, he is Kaito’s entire motivation in part 1, or, in other words, his “heart.” I don’t know if that was intentional or if I’m reaching but it’s cute.

Revolver to Varis

Yeah… I gotta admit I do kinda like this name, not to the point where I use it over his original name, he’ll always be Revolver to me, but I do think it’s admirable how, when they were likely required to change his name since a revolver is a gun and American censorship is… the way it is, they just changed his name to a lesser known but BIGGER gun. That is hilarious, and pretty much exactly what I’d do in that situation. “Oh, the gun boy with bullet earrings and a gun based deck can’t be named after a gun?! Well fuck you too then. Lemme just Google some gun names real quick.” I have no idea if that’s what happened, but it’s what I like to imagine.

Darkness to Nightshroud

Okay, credit where credit is due to this dub I hate with a passion: Nightshroud is a pretty badass name. I still enjoy the simplicity of the name “Darkness” but I get how it could be confusing in a dub and it’s not like any of the symbolism behind the name is lost, his whole thing is still the power of darkness, he just has a cooler name.

Tokunosuke Omoteura to Flip Turner

I can’t even spell Flip’s sub name without Googling it. I watched Zexal for the first time in sub and prefer it that way but I still call him Flip because it’s way easier to type and just far more memorable, especially since he’s the first character I can remember who used a flip deck. Yeah, it’s a silly pun but he’s a silly character so I don’t mind it.

Ute, Hyugo, and Joeri to Yuto, Yugo, and Yuri

I have no idea if this was just a weird romanization of their names or what but every last one of these names have the same first sound yet were initially spelled completely different in the Japanese episodes (and I don’t just mean the subtitling, I mean the footage of the episode itself before it was touched by the subtitles). Giving them all the “Yu” prefix groups them with Yuya which ties them together in a smart way considering the fact that they’re counterparts. It’s also way less confusing that way. Who the fuck would guess “Joeri” is pronounced “Yuri” if they haven’t seen Arc V?!

Pandor to Pandora

Very minor change, I just enjoy the implication that Ryoken “opened Pandora’s box” when he created her. Okay, this one is definitely just me being a nerd. Moving on.

Anna Kozuki to Anna Kaboom

That’s just fun, I can’t help it. Yeah it’s over the top and dumb but so is Anna so the name suits her. Admittedly, I like Zexal’s name changes in general. They’re mostly non-intrusive and some actually feel justified. Either that or they’re just fun like Lillybot and Anna Kaboom.

#yugioh #ygo #yugioh 5ds #ygo 5ds #5ds #yugioh zexal #ygo zexal #zexal #yugioh duel monsters #ygo duel monsters #ygo dm #yugioh vrains #ygo vrains #vrains #yugioh gx #ygo gx #gx #yugioh arc v #ygo arc v #arc v #yugioh dub #dub vs sub

[thelioncourts]

Hi I don't mean to sound too stalker-like, but I saw on Twitter where you replied to someone and said that you didn't think personally that Loustat's divorce era was going to last too long in the show. You said you think maybe the end of season 3 they'll be back together. Can I ask why?

hi! that's not stalker-y at all lol you're totally fine! but I do hope a mini-essay is okay because I have a lot of Thoughts(TM) on this.

general disclaimer, as per usual: this is purely speculation. I know a lot of people on here think they know the exacts of what's going on with filming right and and throughout s2, exacts that may negate what I'm saying, and that's fine, you do you, but also since you're not telling me what it is you know, I am only running with what I know so. this is my speculation based on novels, the show, general television knowledge, and stuff my guy RJ has been saying.

okay so I'm trying to figure out how best to start this. let me just give a bullet list of what it is I'm thinking and then I'll elaborate:

Overall length of the IwtV TV show

Future Anne Rice stuff on AMC

Audience

RJ

Condensed storylines

S1 Finale - specifically 'love of my life' and Daniel's 'Well, isn't that neat and tidy?' commentary

Louis' future

Louis/Armand + Lestat/Nicki in the next two seasons

Exploration of Loustat in future seasons

Akasha storyline

so let's start with the "Overall Length of the IwtV TV Show." outside of The Walking Dead series and its multitude of spin-offs, most shows on the AMC network, even super successful ones, have only run between 5-7 seasons. Mad Men, Breaking Bad, and Better Call Saul are really well-regarded AMC shows that all only ran for 5-7 seasons. and while it could continue like TWD, it seems fairly unlikely. my personal guess is that IwtV is going to fun for 6-7 seasons, leaning toward 6 if I'm being honest. But like??? Who know??? I could be super off-base, but from the way television is going nowadays, I think a 6 seasons show is something we would be lucky to get. I think this article here really helps explain why this is a good thing, overall, and also why it's happening more often on television.

this brings me to future Anne Rice stuff; so AMC bought 18 of Anne's books. Obviously we have MW going on which is...........a thing..........but! we also have the Night Island series happening! I fully believe they may do several TVC-related spinoffs. Like, depending on Devil's Minion stuff, we could possibly get some kind of Devil's Minion show. We could easily get an Armand mini-series that would also work with Marius and Bianca and Pandora's stories too. Stuff with the Court when we get to the Court, etc. are all things I think we could see. With this in mind it's important to keep in mind that they are making the Immortal Universe. I think we're going to see a lot more beyond IwtV and I think this impacts the storytelling.

alright so now let's get into the audience; the audience is watching for Loustat. yes, they are watching for many things. yes, everyone knows they are watching for many things. but people are watching for Loustat. s1 is a Loustat love story, love tragedy. within minutes of the pilot, they are meeting, they are flirting, they are courting, and by the end they are utterly married and in love. we witness their early marriage, we witness their first marital problem, we witness them have a child to fix their marriage, we witness them separate, we witness them get back together, and we witness, in the finale, this love story close a chapter in a beautiful and heart-wrenching way in which lestat knows louis is going to at least stand aside while an attempt is made on his life, in which louis is destroyed by the "death" of his love, where they get so lost in one another in every single way that matters. the audience is watching for loustat. to a degree, you can't wait too long to give them that or people will get antsy and impatient.

now, in a much more succinct paragraph, Rolin Jones, and a multitude of writers for the show, have described this as a gothic romance. they have specified in a dozen articles and interviews "this is a love story." Rolin Jones repeatedly hones in on the fact that the chemistry read between Sam and Jacob going as well as it did was fundamentally important to the long run of the show. to not use that chemistry would be a waste and RJ has made that very clear, imo.

the show is also condensing storylines, as they should and as they need to. we're obviously not getting all 13 TVC books in their entirety, or in their order. during the first bts video we really had, RJ said that the first trilogy, tva, and prince lestat were where they were primarily pulling stuff, with a couple of other additions that he didn't name, but I very much believe were at least memnoch and merrick and some of the court aspects of the last two books. all of that being said, i think we're obviously seeing iwtv right now, but parts of merrick, parts of qotd, teeny parts of tva, and I think next season is iwtv, qotd, tva, merrick, tvl, and a teeny tiny bit more of prince lestat. basically, since they're mixing the stories together, it's like?? I mean, Loustat reunite in TVL. qotd is complicated but they float off romantically intot he sky together. comaaaaa in memnoch-merrick, saving louis' life in merrick and it's a super sexy blood sharing scene, then......married prince and consort??? like idk, if we're condensing the story then when loustat reunite, they, in general, stay together.

now let's talk about what we know with the show thus far, beginning with the s1 finale. obviously the s1 finale is important, duh, but like??? god, there are three huge aspects that I think we're going to revisit fairly quickly in s2 and that impact the future seasons. the first is the 'love of my life' line with armand. like there's so much there, but namely when it comes to thinking of louis and armand's relationship (which will undoubtedly be coming to some kind of definite end in s2) and what that means for loustat and what that means for armandaniel. like obviously louis is going to be confronted, no doubt by daniel, about 'love of your life??? really??' not to mention the 'you're still with the guy that killed your daughter?????' and the inevitable explanation of louis' even more bizarre weirdness in how he's acting in dubai, the mental destruction he's been faced with, the true numbness and everything he's forced himself into, since claudia died. and then, of course, there's 'well isn't that neat and tidy?' comment daniel makes re: lestat's "death" and calling louis out for saving him out of his love for him. like louis is going to have deal with that, daniel isn't going to let it go when he gets over floating armand. it's !! going to be everything, things that will conclude or lead us into the s3 stuff. it all comes back to loustat. all of it.

louis' future is the next thing to discuss!! obviously I'm not trying to start anything by being like 'louis' story revolves around lestat' but to some degree it does and also they revolved around each other so heavily. like lestat's whole storyline in s1 is he comes to new orleans, falls fatally in love with louis, and it changes everything. s2 is very much about all of that, even if lestat won't be in paris for a large part of it. s3 is going to be lestat telling his life to louis, one way or another. that's why he wrote tvl, to tell louis all of the stuff he couldn't and wouldn't tell him before, to explain what he's gone through, what his vampirism truly was like, etc. like louis is going to be part of tvl. RJ has said they're looking to make it not a book, obviously, so I think louis is going to be an active person to lestat's story, I think lestat will be telling him directly. loustat. and it's part of why i think s3, possibly early/mid s4 will be the loustat get back together. because lestat telling his story, everything that will follow, is just. it's them? they have to be together.

the inclusion of louis/armand in s2 and the inclusion of lestat/nicki in s3 serve storytelling purposes, sure, but they also serve to show us as an audience why loustat don't work with other people. and, going back to 'the audience is watching for loustat thing,' if we have to see them be with other people for two seasons, we're going to need that to be worth it. them getting back together in s3, possibly early s4, would accomplish that.

exploring loustat in future seasons!! so if lestat shows up in dubai/2022 at least by the end of s2 as would make sense (to probably save louis from an attempted suicide attempt), we're going to see them reunite. s3 being about lestat's life and them talking for the first time in forever will inevitably lead to some kind of getting back together, sometime soon. s4 will, imo, start really getting into the nitty-gritty of qotd (something i'll talk about in the last paragraph), and then i think they're going to take the qotd storyline and end it with this 'well. the queen of the vampires is dead. we need to blahblahblah' and I think we're looking at a super early prince lestat and court creation, lestat becoming the royalty of the vampire world and the court's creation coming about to prevent whatever thing louis is talking about in dubai (the vampires he hears around the world and stuff) and the akasha stuff. so i think by s5-ish we're in full prince lestat mode and that is where loustat are, essentially, modernly married in the books. I also just. like s1 very much established they can't see the other with another person, very much established that they need each other and love each other in a way they'll never love or need another. like it's all right there, it's all something we'll see continue.

lastly!! I think the akasha storyline is going to be imperative here. I think we're going to get hints of the akasha stuff all throughout the next two seasons, getting more and more heavy the further we get into s3, obviously and especially with lestat's waking of akasha in tvl. i think loustat are going to get together right at the end of s3, leaving us with them together during s4, only for lestat to get snatched in the middle of the night from his and louis' bed, just as he was snatched from his and nicki's bed by magnus, by akasha sometime either in the s3 finale too or early s4-ish. then loustat are together, romantically, but not on screen, meaning it's not like straight up loustat stuff for entirety of those seasons as they'll be separated. it will make losing lestat to akasha all the more horrific (he and louis had just found each other again, we will have seen him getting taken by magnus in the previous season(s), etc.) and makes the impact of loustat....abundant.

this is super long and rambly and I'm fairly tired so god knows if it all makes sense but !!! this is why I think we'll get a fairly soon loustat reunion and why I think it will be <3 everything. like, even when they're together, they're going to have a lot going on and a lot to work through so it's never going to get boring and it's going to make their romance all the more lovely to witness.

[heehoothefool]

3 am funny thoughts again so here we go.

Hermits as DnD Classes and Races

Unlike the empires cast, I'll be doing this one based off of generalized knowledge or my favorite version of them, depends on the Hermit. Not restricted by particular seasons.

To be kind to myself, I am only doing Hermits that are active or busy with some other series like Vault Hunters (Mumbo is included here). I won't be doing former Hermits because this list is already crazy long.

Let's go

Bdubs: Light domain cleric gnome. He is a little man of the moss, and have you seen his affinity for animals? He has to be a gnome. And the whole sun thing? Yeah, dude's a light cleric.

Cubfan: This man is a wizard, illusion focus. No other class has enough hubris to build that kind of pyramid just because, and to me, what would a member of ConVex/ConCorp want more out of magic than to trick the eyes of those around them? As for race, I'd pin Cub for the Unearthed Arcana changeling, the one with Unsettling Visage. Seems like he'd get good use out of it.

Doc: Artificer, Maverick subclass. He is constantly working on new reality breaking projects that only someone like himself could pull off. As for race, I think you could do some kind of earth genasi/warforged homebrew combination that would work wonderfully for him. He would be a wild character to play for sure.

Etho: Half elf assassin rogue. Great at pvp, and very pretty, but still very down to earth.

False: Unlike her Empires counterpart, Hermit False to me reads as more of a Monster Hunter Fighter. Protecting her friends from whatever monsters may be nearby, or evil individuals with bad intentions, this class would work for her quite well. Still human for the race though.

Gem: She's only been around for 2 seasons and season 8 was very short, but she definitely seems to have a very Natural theme to her stuff, so I want to call her a circle of the moon druid. And also a faun for the race, probably forest. She is absolutely a fae of some kind and forest just fits her aesthetic so nicely.

Scar: Okay. This man is a college of glamor bard that rolled triple 6s and put that straight into charisma. He will talk you out of the clothes on your back in excahnge for a cactus. He's also 100% a changeling to match Cub, but also because it's the only way I can possibly explain the Many Faces And Forms Of Scar. However, I would say he probably also multiclasses into the Sharpshooter Fighter for his HotGuy persona.

Grian: Aaracokra for the whole avian thing with wings and all, but for his class I'm a little unsure. I'm considering Trickery domain cleric, but I think, all things considered, Great Old One Pact of the Blade warlock might be the best fit, allowing us to incorporate the Watchers as the patron, while also giving him good combat versatility. The charisma focus will be good for his shenanigans too.

Jevin: Seeing as Jevin appears to be very skilled all around, it's hard for me to place his class. With his evident skill in making highly efficient mob farms, and overall mob knowledge, I'm going to place him as a Ranger, monster hunter subclass. As for race, the Slimefolk race on the 5e Wiki seems like it would do just fine for our favorite goopy guy.

Impulse: The scale to which this man makes anything is impeccable. After his soup gang shenanigans, I wanna call this man an Oath of Vengeance Paladin, and I'm so attached to him as a dwarf I'm keeping to it. It's very him, stout little guy sticking up for everyone else.

Joe Hills: With Joe's very chaotic nature and ability to just kinda convince people to go along, I wanna call them a college of glamor bard. I have never been so confused and intrigued by an individual's goals. Also, Joe gives me just straight up fae vibes, the race you can find on the 5e Wiki.

Keralis: Look into those big eyes of his and tell me that's not a wild magic sorcerer. Brimming with charisma, that stuff is running through his veins. He would be the type to get startled and accidentally polymorph into a potted plant for a few seconds. As for race, I think human works just fine. Kinda just some guy (affectionate).

Pearl: Ah yes, the cleaning lady and epitome of go big or go home. With her penchant for keeping objects orderly and the server in a state of upside down chaos, I want to pin her as an Arcane Trickster Rogue. As for race, I think mothkin could be fun.

Rendog: That's a college of glamor bard that multiclassed into lycan order blood hunter. Keeps the whole werewolf thing around, and acknowledges the Red King, while still acknowledging that no other class than a glamor bard is going to commit that hard to a bit. Racewise his base race is probably human.

Tango: Artificer, archivist subclass to play into his role as the Decked Out Dungeon Master while still being very, very aware of his Redstone tomfoolery. As for race, Fire Genasi acknowledges the fire motifs we as a fan base often use for him while respecting his wishes to not be represented with horns by not making him a tiefling. And also fire hair is fun.

Beef: I don't know a lot about Beef but I do know that this is a very dedicated artist of a man. He gives me half elf vibes, and as for his class I wanna say some sort of charisma caster, I'm gonna go bard, College of Creation. Have you seen those maps? Those bases? This man is an artist.

XB: This guy and his underwater thing, I'm calling him a triton for fun. He seems to be very big on games and builds with story, so for this I think I want to actually make him an Illusion Wizard. Give him the stuff he needs to make things look wonderful and tell the story he wants to tell. And also to prank. I think he would enjoy it.

Xisuma: If there was ever a man more suited to play a Wild Magic Sorcerer it has to be him. The Admin with an evil doppelganger? Brother? Whatever Evil X is. X himself is your best, charismatic friend who just happened to also have the Sage Background to explain his very deep knowledge of "the world around him" (Minecraft). A changeling to explain away all of his various looks and also the fact that nobody knows what he actually looks like. Also Wild Magic funny and a good origin for a guy who is as powerful as he is for "no real reason" in lore.

Zedaph: Alchemist Artificer. Satyr. Need I say more? This is a chaotic little goat fey man who makes wacky ass contraptions. And I never stop thinking about that auto-brewer. It lives in my mind rent free at all times.

ZombieCleo: Despite the name, I don’t know that the Zombie race fits. Rather, I think Cleo could be better suited to the Wight race created by u/callmepartario over on r/UnearthedArcana. It plays into her little rivalry with Jevin, I think, that it's the need for vengeance keeping her "alive." As for her class, with her armor stand skills and penchant for head collecting, I think it would be very funny to pin her as a Necromancy Wizard. Why else would she need so many skulls? Why else would she raise so many "bodies?"

Hypno: Another Hermit I don't know much about, but I like his vibes. He gives me Assassin Rogue feelings so I'm gonna go with that, and say his race is blue dragonborn because again. Vibes.

Iskall: Oh look at them. Look at them and tell me that is not a Mastermaker Artificer wood elf. Look at the fun mix of nature and science and tell me I am incorrect I dare you. I love Iskall.

Mumbo: This, my friends, is really quite simple. Mumbo is a Maverick Artificer without a doubt, very skilled in just about all manner of Redstone contraptions. Mumbo is also a man of many projects (some of which get pushed off to the side for a while) so I think this suits him. As for race, this man strikes me as a tuxedo cat tabaxi. Idk I just like it, I think it'd be funny if Grian's bestie was a cat.

Stress: Circle of the Moon Druid she is so friend shaped oh my god. Incredibly friend shaped, incredible flower vibes, what kind of wood elf do you take her for?

Wels: Oath of Devotion Paladin. Stays true to his morals and does his best to do good, what more is there to say on that? He is incredibly human to me, love this man.

And that's all! If you have any alternative ideas go ahead and tack them on! I would love to get further input about the Hermits I'm not super familiar with, so if you disagree with something feel free to put it in the reblogs or tags or even pester my inbox! Oh my god this post took so long.

#slime speaks #dnd #dungeons and dragons #hermitcraft #hermits #i have gone through too many wiki pages for this #the 5e wikidot is my bestie actually

[seasononesam]

thoughts on sam's relationship with john. i hold your opinion very high like i need to know what you think ab sam and john. s1 sam compared to lebanon sam crying when john came back to life. THOUGHTS

SORRY I know you sent this a couple of days ago and I'm just replying now I am the worst at responding to things but anyway here we go...

omg that's very kind of you to say! I really don't know where to start, this show is so expansive, especially when you start getting into the lore (tm) of john's journal and the comics and tie in novels so I feel like you could easily write an entire essay on just their relationship, not even getting into how it relates to john's relationship with dean, mary, ect. I guess I'd start by saying that while I think it's important to recognize john as a complex character and I feel like the fandom often reduces him to a very one dimensional villain, he was an abusive and neglectful father so his relationship to sam is going to be heavily based in that fact. so saying that this is probably gonna be all over the place bc I it's late here and I am not the most eloquent person and while I've seen season one a few times I have seen lebanon only once lmao.

john's view of sam feels kind of contradictory to me in a lot of ways, because he seems to know there is something "different" and possibly "bad" about sam, while also prioritizing his protection at all costs. and that is what drives so much of the conflict between them, bc sam rebels against john's very strict ideas of how he should behave (I think there was a passage in his journal about how sam rebels by acting "normal," which is abnormal in their family context). obviously this role of protector is forced on dean, which complicates the family dynamic even more since dean is often in the position of acting like a parent. so I feel like john has a lot of complicated feelings about sam, where he is terrified of losing him, but also OF him, and maybe even blames him for mary's death in a way?

getting into what we actually see on the show, john is such an interesting character in season 1 bc you don't really see him much if that makes sense. like obviously he is in the first scene of the show, but he doesn't appear again until mid season iirc and there's always this general feeling of him looming over sam and dean and how him telling sam to leave if he wanted to go to college is still holding tension in the family even 3-4 years later. but we also know that john still watched sam at stanford, which gets even more into the idea of john as a god like, all knowing figure, and also gets in to sam being surveilled and under scrutiny for so much of his life.

then we finally see john and sam interact and of course they start fighting, bc this tension has been building all season. and before it can really even be resolved john dies, and sam is left with all this grief and guilt. and not to get into my own daddy issues lmao but I think like a lot of people who are abused by a parent, sam has also a very complicated view of his father. unlike dean, sam remembers nothing about a life before mary died, he doesn't know a john who isn't on this revenge quest (not saying dean was better off bc of it, obviously a four year old isn't gonna remember a ton either). this is the world he has always known. I think he wants to love and understand his father but can't square that with how john treats him and dean. and I think sam blames himself for always being angry at his father (even if it was justified) especially after he dies. so when he comes back in season 14, even for a moment, he can't bear to really sort out his complicated feelings, he just wants to show that he loves him despite it all: "I mean, when I think about you… and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye."

I guess to sum everything up and give a TLDR, it's about the parallels for me...like gabriel says in changing channels, about how sam rebels against his fathers wishes, how john is god, how everything is connected, how dean and sam have such different coping mechanisms and responses to how they were raised. idk I feel like this is just word vomit but I hope it makes SOME sense and if you have your own thoughts about sam and john and their dynamic I'd love to hear it!

#sorry this is all over the place lmao thank u for letting me rant tho! #and this is like BARELY scratching the surface of the winchester family dynamic but have some general thoughts I guess??? #answered #anonymous

[belmottetower]

3.09 - Captains and Vice-Captains

This is a part of my Subjectify Media conversation review that I wanted to share as straight-up meta, because it's something I keep thinking about regarding the banter between Sam and Jamie about the armband. It occurred to me that people might not know how vice-captains work in football teams, so here's me forcing football logic onto a throwaway moment to make it work in a way that means Sam and Jamie don't both feel OOC here.

‘Ted Lasso’ season 3, episode 9 in conversation: Second-best way it could’ve gone

Natalie: I have heaps of thoughts about the Roy and Isaac relationship and captain inheritance and how maybe Roy didn’t particularly think through his choice originally, but is able to help Isaac with shit he knows about himself that he’d love to break the cycle with for Isaac. Isaac picking Sam to take over while he’s banned is a choice with much less liability, and we knew Sam would become captain at some point this season from the trailer. And I think it’s a good choice but unfortunately they saw fit to include a moment about this that I HATED and don’t understand at all, and I think I’m like one of five people that hated it, which is that banter between Sam and Jamie about the captain’s band. I love their friendship and I’d love Sam teasing Jamie in any other moment. I think they’re amazing. But I think this scene did both Sam and Jamie dirty. You initially liked it on your watch, so try and talk me out of this.

Megan: So I think with this, in the moment I enjoyed it because Sam’s reaction, flipping Jamie off, startled a laugh out of me in a tense moment, and also Sam looked So. Freaking. Cute. Then speaking to you afterwards I did agree with what it was saying about Jamie in particular being quite off. It’s a tough one because okay… Going deep into football logistics, the way it works is you don’t just pick a random player to take over as captain. There is a hierarchy and there are usually people who are the named vice captains. Sometimes the manager makes these choices, or, more rarely, the players vote – Man City is a team that votes – but there is generally a “captain group.” For West Ham, for example, Mark Noble was captain for years, and Declan Rice was the main vice captain and often wore the armband because he started more often than Noble did. When Noble retired, Dec became captain and the manager, David Moyes, selected three vice captains to support him in the various duties – Aaron Cresswell, Angelo Ogbonna and Lukasz Fabianski.

So within football realism, it is extremely reasonable that Jamie and Sam are both already Richmond’s selected vice captains, and with that in mind yes, Isaac gives it to Sam, but I don’t think he did that out of like specifically choosing Sam over Jamie, right? I think it was just geography based – Sam was next to him, he would have been the easiest to shove the band at, rather than Jamie.

So my good faith interpretation, that works for their characters in my head is that Sam physically got the band due to proximity, but maybe Jamie, an established vice captain is thinking – and I think, quite fairly – “You know what, we’re a goal down, we’ve lost a player, I might be the best person tactically in this situation to wear the band and captain us through this situation where we are going to have to Total Football the shit out of the rest of this match.” So this was Jamie broaching the topic, and then Sam responding in a light-hearted way to kind of break the tension of the room, but also him thinking “No you know what, I think I’d be a good person in this situation to keep heads calm, and also argue the ref down from any later cards, so we don’t risk losing any other players.”

And I am putting a LOT of thought behind how that very short moment, clearly played for laughs, could be interpreted to make it work for the characters, because the alternative is that Jamie was having a big ego moment and wanting the captain band that he had not been honoured with, and Sam was apparently so unaffected by Isaac’s angst that he’s being a little shit two seconds later. And neither of those sit quite right with me.

Natalie: Yeah but you’re aware that the last sentence, the alternative, is how it played to 99.99% of people who are not logistically thinking about the reality of clubs having an existing captain pool, right? Which, really, maybe we should have seen before, because it isn’t as if Isaac has played every single minute of every single match since Roy gave him the armband. When Isaac gets subbed off, for any reason – fitness, a yellow card meaning they don’t want to risk a red, anything at all – he would have to pass the band to someone on the pitch. This is why they have vice captains and we see this in the season 1 finale with Roy. Isaac starts the match as the substitute captain, Roy gets the band back when he starts the second half, then he passes it back to Isaac when he limps off. This is a thing. There have to be people the band goes to when the captain comes off the pitch before the match ends.

And Sam and Jamie both being vice captains absolutely makes sense logically, but this is not how the joke is played, and as you admit, you’re forcing this idea into your reading, and making your reading more realistic than Ted Lasso actually is, because the alternative is a moment that kind of truly sucks for both Sam and Jamie, but sadly, I think that alternative is absolutely what the show meant. This is their way of saying “Hahahahah! Remember, Jamie is still full of himself and is disrespecting Isaac’s clear choice and Sam’s power as a team leader, and he’s presumptively trying to put himself above Sam. Because he’s a prick, remember?” And also saying “Hahaha! Sam, in this moment, is able to recover so much from Isaac’s clear distress that he’s keen to mock and tease his friend for his ridiculous ego, and in doing so, giving the audience the message that hahahaha, how silly it is to think that Jamie would ever be captain!”

It is, boiled down, banter that says Jamie’s an inflated egomaniac who is inappropriately trying to take something from his friend that was very purposely given to him, and Sam’s response both makes a mockery of the idea that Jamie could be a valid captain choice and shows that he isn’t very affected by Isaac’s big emotional moment, if he’s able to be so playful. It makes each of them look like arseholes in a way I found totally out of character for both of them. There are a million other ways to have had Sam tease Jamie about his ego, so many other moments where we could have seen this energy. But because Ted Lasso has never taken pains to establish the captain system, and because Isaac didn’t throw the band down in the centre for them to fight over, Isaac selecting Sam and then Jamie being like, “No, me actually,” and then Sam being like, “LOL, as if it’s you?” I hated it IMMEDIATELY. And I’m sad about not enjoying it. It’s not like I’m trying to take these things in bad faith, but it genuinely just felt very wrong to me. And this is what I was referring to when I said I didn’t like the way they burst the tension bubble on the Isaac outburst. It is meant to be a “letting the air out” moment, but for me it was really not fun.

Megan: Absolutely. Like I said I didn’t have the immediate hatred, because it broke me out of the tension and because of Toheeb Jimoh’s face. But once you pointed this out, it did sit really bad with me, and that’s why I had to, as you say, force this reading into working for me, to contradict that. So yeah, look, I’m with you on what it means for the characterisation, and I really hope we get a moment of Jamie wearing the armband down the line more organically. He’s earned it.

Natalie: It’s not even that I think he should have had it here instead of Sam, to be clear!

Megan: Oh yeah, I get it, it’s just the way they had the interaction play out.

Natalie: I just don’t think it’s outlandish to think he’s a candidate and this treated him it was. Also his disrespect of Isaac’s obvious choice, because he had intentionally handed it to Sam. It was just a mess for me. And there are so many other ways we could have got Sam teasing Jamie about being bigheaded, but for Sam to be playful and competitive in this moment rather than, you know, serious and worried. So weird to me. And everyone I’ve talked to who saw the episode loved it, LOL.

‘Ted Lasso’ season 3, episode 9 in conversation: Second-best way it could’ve gone

#ted lasso #sam obisanya #jamie tartt #roy kent #isaac mcadoo

[nightmarist]

if *I* were to make a dragon age calendar id probably go with a solar calendar, sure, or a harvest/seasonal calendar since most of Thedas seems very season-dependent.

The official stuff does say they have four seasons and 365 days but that's boring. Let's have some fun.

Thinking in terms of, this is a fantasy world with two moons and a sun, and technically a non-earth planet, the calendar could move slower or faster, and the seasons and axis could be different from earth.

Also, the fact it has two moons... One, as we see in The Hissing Wastes, is huge. Or rather, very very very close to Thedas. It probably causes lots of very strong tides and storms on the waters nearest to it on the other side of the world, but I also don't know where it moves, and if it gets farther away at different times of the year.

Satina, according to DA lore, is the specific moon that is celebrated. I don't like the "Satinalia" obvious Saturnalia reference so maybe calling the celebration Satinatum or similar if its based off Tevinter (and therefore a filtered/bastardized Roman Latin thing happening). They should probably also name the other moon.... There could probably therefore be Two special celebrations of the moons.

The "seasons" they seem to primarily talk about and experience are: Winter, Summer/Harvest, Rain, Funeral(?). The occasional references to Summer but Summer and harvest season are sometimes in the same breath.

I think/assume the Rainy season is in between Winter and Harvest, and Winter marks the beginning of their year.

Winter -> Rainy Seasons (everything is melting and is wet) -> Harvest (things have grown from the rain, time to harvest before Winter, and mixed in a bit of rebirth symbolism for funerary and other rites).

Each culture could have a slightly different calendar, but with Tevinter colonization it could have converted many over to the Tevinter calendar.

Because of the obvious Roman Latin influence on Tevinter, we can probably bastardize some Latin for flavoring up the names.

Maybe something like, Glacelis, Luvelis, and Messis (ice, rain, harvest, loosely).

OK so we have 3 seasons now for general Thedosian peoples.

We can probably keep 300 days, but rather than make it exactly like earth's 365, we'll give it a good round number. Just 300 sounds fine. 3 seasons, 100 days each. 100 days split in 2 is 50, split those 2 more you get 25.

You can still have 12 "months" by making them 25 days each. maybe, every end-month is a 5 day celebration, and the extra special 5-day celebrations are the liminal weeks at the end of a season.

DA wants to have 5-day weeks so it works out that way anyway.

If you want to really get fucky with etymology, we could change "week" to something else (but its not necessary since "week" just means "a set").

1 round of the sun = 1 day/dae. 5 days = a Daeset 5 Daesets = 1 Solset 4 Solsets = 1 Season Final Daeset at the end of a Solset = Feast Days

Not changing too much bc you'll accidentally invent a whole language + it still needs to be understandable to like. Players. lmao.

Thedosian Solsets: Wintermarch, Guardward, Dragonwatch (Or Drakonfound*), Cloudreach, Bloomtide, Justiniapoint, Solacement, Andrasteworth, Kingsway, Harvestmere, Firstfall, Haringrise

*Drakon was one of the original founders of Andrastean, the original month was called Drakonis but welt somewhat out of place name-wise. Likewise, it's usually good (and historically accurate) to rename things that are similar as means of easier conversion, so an old Thedosian name for the month could be Dragonwatch (perhaps a time of dragon mating season or hunting etc?) be renamed to Drakonfound. Also I just liked having a giggle at "Dragon Watch... Dragon.. FOUND"

You could also divide it evenly via weeks/daesets. There would be a total of 60 daesets, and thus still 20 daesets per season if you want to divide it perfectly even (100 days each season still), but if you make daesets only 3 instead of 4 or 5, that makes an interesting number.

15 daesets in one seasons could equal 3 solsets/months, with 1 daeset of celebration at the end of a season instead of one at the end of each solset. That would therefore make 9 total solsets instead of 12 (and frankly I think the last 3 months of the original DA calendar feel/sound kind of useless to me).

So that would make, instead: Glacelis: Wintermarch, Guardward, Drakonfound Wintersend Celebration Luvelis: Cloudreach, Bloomtide, Justiniapoint Harvestmere Celebration Messis: Solacement, Andrasteworth, Kingsway Day of immolation*

*A celebration to send off and honor lost souls, rather than "All Soul's Day" the way it was originally named. It's obviously supposed to be All Souls, Dia de los Muertos, Halloween, etc shoved together with costumes and funerary rites. Initially it's intended purpose in DA is to honor Andraste's burning. I would probably liken it to those kinds of celebrations where you burn an effigy, like The Burning of Zozobra.

Taking that into consideration, I think the Immolation would be a sort of thing where you burn old things you don't need/want, burn things for luck, burn prayers to reach The Maker or Andraste, etc. It would also be culturally relevant since in my new calendar it marks the start of Winter, so burning fuel to stay warm fits secularly (such as the many fire-associations during Christmas and our other real-world winter holidays)

Renamed a few other months just to sort of keep the flavor of how the months are named.

I assume the Avvar being Norse-based have a sort of two-season Winter-Summer split calendar, or perhaps because they are a more animistic they could have a calendar based on animal hibernation and migration, which may sound like it'd be the same but they could have ever so slight variances. Perhaps they would have months called Crowsflight, Bearsleep, Beespring, etc. I'd have to do more research on where, exactly, Avvar live and what the wildlife they have near them are.

The solsets could be used to keep track of the seasons, but I don't see why there couldn't be lunar calendars for Thedosians as a whole, sort of like the two calendars in mexica, a sun calendar and a ritual calendar. Certainly I assume at least a few cultures would have them, there are two moons. That feels culturally significant. There is supposed to be a special holiday to celebrate just one of the moons. Maybe there are two separate sets of lunar calendars for different holiday celebrations.

I would also wonder how the moon phases differ from one another, and if it is possible to track when they are the same, or if they eclipse one another. I'm not as knowledgeable on lunar calendars so I'll have to look at real world lunar calendars to see how they divide months, years, celebrations, and maybe things I havent thought of (if I ever feel the feverish need to do this again haha)

Anyway, I got tired but here are my zany thoughts about dragon age calendars.

#dragon age #dragon age meta