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#you have to be willing to entertain the idea that the group is a bad thing at bare minimum
sunderwight · 7 months
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I keep seeing people argue that Aziraphale is "intelligent" or "not a fool" and that this means he can't possibly have fallen for the Metatron's blatant manipulation tactics or still genuinely believe in Heaven's righteousness.
Setting aside the validity of various theories (most of which I at least find interesting, if not outright compelling!) I think there's an issue here, which is that intelligence doesn't protect you from cult-like thinking. Especially not when you've been more or less born and raised in the environment.
In fact, what intelligence tends to do to people who have been indoctrinated into cults (and a cult is exactly what GO Heaven operates like) is give you even more tools for justifying or thinking your way around the contradictions of the cults actions vs message.
We even see Aziraphale do this, several times!
In fact, at the end of S1 doing this is part of what helps save the day. When he points out that Heaven can't know that they aren't defying God's ineffable plan while trying to follow the Great Plan, he's not just talking them into standing down, he's giving them an out. Because the whole Armageddon thing has already gone to shit and cannot proceed without Adam's cooperation, what they're really dealing with at that point is getting Heaven and Hell to accept that without retaliating. Even when Satan shows up it's because he's pissed, not because doomsday is still on.
Aziraphale uses the cult's own logic to give Heaven (and Hell) a plausible reason to back down without completely losing face. They don't have to admit that they were wrong, they can just file everything under "ineffability". Aziraphale pulls this off so well in part because he's been doing this to himself for millennia.
When he doesn't understand or really approve of the Flood, he files it under "ineffability". God has a plan but it's too complex and beyond even angelic comprehension to understand, so there must be a good reason for the Flood, it's just that Aziraphale can't see it. When he sees Heaven being complicit in Job's suffering and the potential murder of his children, he reconciles it by deciding that what God really wants is for him and Bildad to secretly stop it. But he flounders on that later, because to some extent I think he knows that this reasoning is self-serving.
(Knowing it's self-serving doesn't refute it, though, it just means that he worries about that until he talks himself into a bunch of reasons why it's still probably true.)
In S1, when Crowley broaches the subject of the apocalypse, Aziraphale's initial response is to recite the propaganda. It's all going to go according to plan, and it will all be great! When that doesn't work (because of course it won't be great, he's going to end up losing his true home and the person he loves most if this all goes down no matter who wins), he lets Crowley help talk him into how he could thwart the plan without "really" betraying his concept of God.
Basically, if Aziraphale's values come into conflict with Heaven, he decides that God secretly agrees with him. It's very like people who find their values coming into conflict with the institution of their church or temple, and so decide that there's nothing wrong with their actual religion, it's all just normal human corruption (or in GO's case, angelic corruption) muddying the waters of an otherwise purely good thing.
Now in real life of course this gets to be a thorny issue, but keeping it simple there isn't really a total separation between a faith and its institutions. You can't claim that there's nothing in the religion that lends itself to bad takes, just like you also can't claim that any ideology or belief system is invulnerable to corruption. Likewise, even if every bad thing in GO were to turn out to be the fault of Heaven and Hell and not God, God would still be accountable for a lot of the situation because God still set the stage.
But what matters for Good Omens and Aziraphale and this post is that, Aziraphale has put considerable mental energy into justifying how God and Heaven can still be Good and Right even as both of them do things he finds intolerable. Whether it's "God secretly wants me to do what I think is right instead of what I'm being told" or "Heaven has earnestly misinterpreted the will of God due to not knowing as much as I do", he puts his intelligence to use in protecting himself from the kind of revelation that would uproot his worldview.
The only kind of knowledge that actually protects people from cults is the knowledge of how they operate, and awareness that you're dealing with a cult. Aziraphale has a terrible disadvantage on both fronts because even though he's spent years watching humanity get into hot water with this stuff, he does so with the firm perspective that things are different for angels. He can't necessarily apply what works for humans to himself, because he knows he's a different kind of being (and unlike with IRL cults, it's actually true in his case, though I think demons and angels are both less different from humans than they believe).
Though, interestingly, he's closer to a accepting the truth when it comes to the differences between angels and demons. In S1 he is fully confident that he could possess someone, because even though angels don't do that, demons can. Whether he admits it or not, Aziraphale really does believe that Crowley is not meaningfully different from himself in terms of personhood or ability. If he can make the leap to the idea that angels and demons are not exempt from human-oriented concepts of self-determination and free will and unfair treatment by authority, and reconcile it with his own intense distress at challenging a core belief, then the fact that he's quick on the uptake will really start to work in his favor.
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vivmaek · 22 days
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Total Solar Eclipse in Aries: Predictions
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✰ my masterlist This eclipse season is highlighting themes of forgiveness, both towards others and towards ourselves. It's time to turn a new leaf, and to take responsibility for mistakes made within the past. Doing this will allow a particular area within your life to transform. In October 2023 it may have felt like you lost something. Whether that was a friend group, a career opportunity, or a romantic relationship depends on your chart. However, because this solar eclipse is conjuncting the North Node, it will feel as though you have gained something. Issues from October 2023 will find a resolution.
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General predictions:
ꕥ Sudden/unexpected military action.
ꕥ The development and discovery of new weapons. (Specifically with bombs and explosives.)
ꕥ Veterans speaking out against the country they once served.
ꕥ World leaders unexpectedly stepping down from their positions.
- Many world leaders are going to be dealing with extremely poor health which will “eclipse’ their power.
ꕥ It's going be a hot summer, and the effects of climate change will become all the more obvious.
ꕥ Bad wildfire season.
ꕥ An increase in self-immolation as a form of protest.
ꕥ An increase in reckless driving, speeding, and road rage.
ꕥ An increase in violence against women, and people who are non-binary or transgender .
ꕥ Issues regarding gender will become even more polarizing.
- Women across the world will continue to assert their independence and will fight back against outdated standards.
- Women will become more willing to embrace the unknown. Many women will fully commit to the idea of never getting married or having children during this time frame, and they will do so with enthusiasm.
- Some women will choose not to get married or have children as a form of protest
ꕥ An increase in narcissistic behavior, as well as an increase in being able to recognize narcissistic behavior.
ꕥ Celebrities responding to public criticism with arrogance will witness a downfall.
ꕥ The Summer Olympics will be especially entertaining this year. This event will be explosive and dramatic. Some athletes will gain a significant amount of fame during this event.
ꕥ LOTS of new music. Artists are going to be pushing the boundaries of genres. Audiences are craving something completely new.
ꕥ People are DONE living in fear. This will result in widespread, collective action that will effectively make big changes. More protests, more boycotts, more strikes, more uprisings.
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Predictions for your Rising Sign:
Aries ♈︎
𖦹 Explosive relationship issues
𖦹 Facing “the final straw”
𖦹 Reuniting with yourself
𖦹 Making a significant change to your physical appearance
𖦹 Detaching yourself from others
𖦹 Making bold statements that shock people
𖦹 A boost in confidence
𖦹 Reconnecting with your desires
𖦹 Realizing that you��ve outgrown people
𖦹 Becoming easily frustrated
𖦹 Not recognizing the person you were two years ago
𖦹 Taking decisive action
𖦹 Being forced to defend your beliefs
𖦹 Heightened sense of physical energy
𖦹 Gaining a sense of control over your impulsivity
Taurus ♉︎
𖦹 Confronting fears of the unknown
𖦹 Showcasing a strong sense of perseverance
𖦹 Psychic dreams/ uptick in strange dreams
𖦹 Reflecting on the past
𖦹 Spending time alone
𖦹 Receiving some sort of news that shakes you up
𖦹 Building trust in your intuition
𖦹 Finding yourself zoning out all of time
𖦹 Turning towards food, drugs, and alcohol to find comfort
𖦹 Intense emotions coming forward
𖦹 Facing an uptick in stress and anxiety
𖦹 Rumors and lies being spread about you
𖦹 Secrets coming to the surface
𖦹 Feeling exhausted/needing more time for rest
𖦹 Developing a stronger connection to nature
Gemini ♊︎
𖦹 Heightened sense of compassion
𖦹 Giving out unsolicited advice
𖦹 Networking!
𖦹 Joining new social groups
𖦹 Finding a sense of belonging
𖦹 Engaging in volunteer work
𖦹 Developing new goals and dreams
𖦹 Interacting with lots of strangers
𖦹 Feeling in touch with the future
𖦹 Participating in interesting conversations on a daily basis
𖦹 Initiating and organizing group activities
𖦹 Developing new friendships at a fast pace
𖦹 Heightened sense of popularity
𖦹 Fearing commitment
𖦹 Heightened sense of conversational skills
Cancer ♋︎
𖦹 Stepping into a leadership position
𖦹 Learning how to balance your private life with work
𖦹 Becoming a stay-at-home parent
𖦹 Hard work paying off
𖦹 Facing competition within your career
𖦹 New responsibilities
𖦹 Challenges with authority figures
𖦹 Being forced to stand up for yourself
𖦹 Setting boundaries within your career
𖦹 Your reputation becoming a source of stress
𖦹 Becoming someone's caregiver
𖦹 Learning how to avoid burnout
𖦹 Becoming a source of motivation within your workplace
𖦹 Feeling extra sensitive towards criticism
𖦹 Working with a family member, or someone who feels like family
Leo ♌︎
𖦹 Being forced to look at the big picture
𖦹 Stepping out of the sidelines
𖦹 Deciding to expand your mind
𖦹 Traveling/ big journeys
𖦹 Coming across as overbearing within serious situations
𖦹 A change in long term plans/goals
𖦹 Becoming a teacher or mentor
𖦹 Beliefs being challenged
𖦹 Dominating discussions with other people
𖦹 Craving adventure
𖦹 Gaining a new perspective on life
𖦹 New opportunities in education
𖦹 Embracing a newfound sense of excitement
𖦹 Seeking out recognition
𖦹 Gaining wisdom through creative ventures
Virgo ♍︎
𖦹 Joint resources being brought into focus
𖦹 Seeking reciprocity within relationships
𖦹 Having a realistic approach to intimate relationships
𖦹 Realizing you give too much/too little
𖦹 The judgements you’ve made about other people being challenged
𖦹 Making investments
𖦹 Burning bridges
𖦹 Creating a new budget
𖦹 Resentments within relationships being brought to the surface
𖦹 Paying off debt
𖦹 Confronting your desire for profection
𖦹 Close relationships becoming a source of stress
𖦹 Healing intimacy and trust issues
𖦹 Seeking out deeply emotional connections
𖦹 Finally recognizing hidden patterns
Libra ♎︎
𖦹 Showing up more authentically
𖦹 Confronting communication issues
𖦹 Fixing a misunderstanding from the past
𖦹 Being honest about wants and needs
𖦹 Asking for help and receiving it
𖦹 Developing skills in diplomacy
𖦹 Placing your aspirations before a relationship
𖦹 Letting go of responsibilities that don’t serve you
𖦹 Ego and pride creating conflict within relationships
𖦹 Starting a collaborative project
𖦹 Holding yourself to the promises you’ve made
𖦹 Receiving some sort of justice
𖦹 Healing your fear of being alone
𖦹 Seeking out compromise
𖦹 Recognizing how indecision has held you back
Scorpio ♏︎
𖦹 Putting your dreams into action
𖦹 Experiencing tension within the body
𖦹 Confronting control issues
𖦹 Your sense of motivation being reawakened
𖦹 Implementing new routines
𖦹 Prioritizing health
𖦹 Finishing projects from the past
𖦹 Feeling more energized
𖦹 Lack of support from others
𖦹 Becoming more organized
𖦹 Stress becoming a cause for health issues
𖦹 Challenging your own self-criticism
𖦹 Developing a greater sense of concentration
𖦹 Exploring alternative treatment approaches
𖦹 Becoming a workaholic
Sagittarius ♐︎
𖦹 Starting a new hobby or project
𖦹 Newfound relationship needs/standards
𖦹 Taking relationships risks
𖦹 Seeking out pleasure
𖦹 Connecting with your inner child
𖦹 A spike in creativity
𖦹 Having fun with your sense of self expression
𖦹 Being able to forgo responsibility
𖦹 Joining the dating scene
𖦹 Starting a family
𖦹 Caught up within daydreams
𖦹 Developing a sense of contentment
𖦹 Pregnant and ready to give birth (this could be a literal child or a new idea)
𖦹 Taking initiative
𖦹 Everyday life becomes exciting
Capricorn ♑︎
𖦹 Possible career change
𖦹 Starting a garden/buying plants
𖦹 Gaining an understanding in generational trauma
𖦹 Moving at a slow pace
𖦹 New living situations
𖦹 Change in family dynamics
𖦹 Heightened sense of intuition
𖦹 Finding stability
𖦹 Tending to unhealed wounds
𖦹 Arguments with your parents
𖦹 Working remotely
𖦹 Reconnecting with your ancestors
𖦹 Seeking more time spent alone
𖦹 Home renovations
𖦹 A death or birth occurring within your family
Aquarius ♒︎
𖦹 Being more active on social media
𖦹 Speaking before thinking
𖦹 An uptick in the amount of texts/emails you receive
𖦹 Overactive mind/imagination
𖦹 Attending lots of social engagements
𖦹 Oversharing
𖦹 Challenging your negative thought patterns
𖦹 Creating some sort of content
𖦹 Busy schedule
𖦹 Buying a new vehicle/changing your commute to work
𖦹 Moving into an environment that's more stimulating
𖦹 Learning new skills
𖦹 Changing the way in which you communicate
𖦹 Chasing after the things that make you curious
𖦹 Spreading gossip
Pisces ♓︎
𖦹 Financial management
𖦹 Your foundations being tested
𖦹 A person in need taking advantage of you
𖦹 Developing security
𖦹 Redefining your values
𖦹 Losing or misplacing a valuable object
𖦹 Selling your impulsive purchases
𖦹 Overcoming insecurities
𖦹 Feeling more stubborn
𖦹 Strengthening your self-worth
𖦹 Building your savings
𖦹 Earning money from your artistry
𖦹 Cutting back on expenses
𖦹 Donating your money to charity
𖦹 Turning to spiritual practices to ground yourself
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xhdream · 5 months
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caught red handed (18+)
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pairings: non idol!gunil x fem!reader
genre: explicit smut, minors dni!
summary: you’re paired up with the nerdy, introverted guy from your class for a group project, only to find out you may have more in common with him than you thought
contains: nerdy loser gunil, dom!reader but nothing hardcore, explicit language, unprotected sex, oral sex (m/f), overstimulation (m), bondage (m), dirty talk, college setting
a/n: inspired by a spicy convo me and @n034sy had in the chat - dedicating this one to her ♡
!! this is pure fiction for entertainment purposes
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Gunil slams his laptop shut, when you storm into his dorm room, without even knocking.
“Where’s your roommate?” You ask, taking off your jacket.
“Uhm, he has classes today.” Gunil responds in a restless tone, while not letting you out of sight, as you tour the small almost empty male room.
This isn’t the first boy room you visit in this dorm. Yet, you always find yourself scanning for something intriguing, before realising they’re all the same. You keep talking casually about the place, without giving too much thought to Gunil’s uneasy, almost, trembling like a lief posture.
His sweaty palms rub on the fabric of his pants, as he closely follows your light, quiet footsteps. He sighs in relief, when you sit down on his bed to open your bag.
“Should we start?”
“Uhm, yes, sure.” He makes a few steps, before deciding to put away his laptop with red circles on his cheeks, that he prays to God you don’t notice.
“Oh, shit,” you sigh with a guilty pout on your face. “I forgot to bring my notes with me.” Gunil blinks at you with a rising concern. “Wait, I have them in my email. I can just log in from your computer and we’re good to go.”
You decisively toss your bag on the floor, then bounce from the bed towards Gunil’s small desk, but out of nowhere, he jumps in front of you, taking the laptop before you. You glance at the weirdly panicked way he holds it to his chest with both hands.
“I’m not gonna steal your fancy laptop, relax.” You giggle, and return to the same spot.
Gunil’s lips curl up, trying to force a smile very badly. He’s clearly embarrassed from his behaviour, so you try to change the subject.
“Anyways,” you let out a deep breath. “Let’s get to work. I have classes in the afternoon, I don’t have the whole day.”
“Oh, uhm… Sorry.” He looks around the small room, before sitting clumsily beside you. You eye up and down his stiff figure, and you’re almost sure you see fear in his eyes.
After sitting several seconds next to you, Gunil decides to move his position, as far as possible. Sadly the bed is for one person, so he couldn’t distance himself that far as he would’ve liked to. You look at him amused from the other side of the mattress.
“Where are you going?”
“Nowhere,” he says quietly, placing the computer on his lap.
You always knew he was shy, introverted and kind of a classic game obsessed loser, but you had no idea it was that bad. At least he could show more excitement from the fact you were here. No other girl from your class would be willing to waste her time like this.
“Then why are you running away from me?” You ask, coming closer, which results in Gunil moving a pillow, so he can lean almost sideways against the wall.
“I-I’m not.”
You follow his gawky gestures, as he tries to position the computer in a way you cannot peek at the screen. Could he be more obvious?
“Are you hiding something?”
“N-no, it’s nothing.” He stutters.
“You are,” you squint with your eyes suspiciously. “What are you hiding there?”
“I’m not hiding anything,” Gunil’s voice trembles harder with every word, as he becomes more irritated from the way you keep on insisting.
You grin widely, moving next to him. The blue sheets shuffle under your body while you sit on your knees. The boy’s cheeks flush from being so close to you all of a sudden. Sweet scent of perfume tickles his nose, while he tries his best to control his breathing. For the first time he feels such a close presence of a pretty girl being next to him.
You decide that Gunil needs a push, so you take off the excited grin of your face.
“Open it then,” you say boldly through teeth, gazing at his side profile.
You suck on your bottom lip, as you wait for any reaction.
He’s handsome, you realise. You’ve never taken the time to look at Gunil closely before, however, now that you stand here next to him, shoulder to shoulder, you notice that his nicely sharp features are attractive. His lips have a sexy sensual shape, that makes you come to the conclusion that with some practice he could be a good kisser. And his ams… You’re surprised to see muscles, very nicely formed from the white shirt he’s wearing under a striped knitted vest.
His brown hair falls in his eyes, as his hand roams nervously over the laptop. Without hesitation you pull the device from his lap, and immediately open it as fast as you can.
The screen lights up in your face when Gunil’s body comes on top of you, trying to shut it off.
“Stop,” you shout in amusement. “Let me see!”
Because his computer runs fast, you’re glad to see the internet browser opening without a problem after you click enter. Your excitement rises in your chest, as your eyes scan the porn site he’s been entertaining himself with, before you come here.
The video starts playing, and it doesn’t take long for you to gasp. A provocative scene of a naked man on his knees, being slapped on the face multiple times, makes something in your body flutter in surprise, as you’ve never would’ve guessed a guy like Gunil would be into this kind of perversions. The man begs to lick the woman hovering over him, promising her that after he makes her cum with his tongue, he’ll make her cum again from his big cock. She giggles erotically, before shoving his head between her legs. The lewd, sloppy noises fill the room, making Gunil cover his red ears from embarrassment.
“Turn it off,” he begs. “Please…”
You chuckle, putting the video on pause. Turning around, while still laying on your elbows, you find Gunil nervously pacing around with hands inside his pockets, but when he feels your gaze on his body, he picks up one of his pillows, sits on the corner of the bed and buries his face in it.
“You shouldn’t have seen that,” he mumbles, making you laugh out loud.
“Don’t be such a little kid.”
Your laidback and confident personality only intimidates Gunil more, making everything even worse right now. Also, what if you tell someone about this? His heart drops from the sudden thought of anyone finding out. You probably will, he assumes, and there’s nothing he can do to stop you.
“I watch porn sometimes too,” you add and Gunil doesn’t have to look at you to know you’re speaking through a cheeky smile. “Everyone does.”
Suddenly Gunil’s panting starts to normalise, but he’s still not sure what to do or to say. He feels so exposed, and the fact it’s in front of the most beautiful and wanted girl from class makes everything feel like a fever dream.
While he contemplates on the situation, Gunil flinches from a sudden touch. When he looks up from the pillow to turn around, he sees your feet pressing into his thigh.
“Do you know that you will look so much better without that vest?” Your voice comes out in a lower than your usual tone.
Gunil swallows, trying to think the question through, but your leg that keeps stroking his thigh is so distracting. His vision suddenly gets blurry, as he stares at your toenails through the black thin tights, that formed your leg so charmingly. Warm pressure starts growing in his underwear, making his entire body freeze in one place. He immediately tries to cover it with his hand, but not very successfully. Again, he’s too obvious.
“I haven’t thought about… that.” He answers cautiously, after clearing his throat.
“I’m sure you haven’t thought about a lot of things.”
You slide your body down a little, so you can get closer to him, causing more of your thighs to reveal underneath your skirt. Your leg rubs on Gunil’s crotch, making him gasp from the unexpected friction. He was so nervous, and you could only imagine how needy he was. For touch. For release.
“You’re more attractive than you realise, Goo Gunil.”
The seductive change in your tone blasts in Gunil’s head like a fire alarm he wanted to turn off, but couldn’t. Why are you doing this? he asks himself over and over again.
You sit up, while your right leg is still upon his lap, your left one - behind his back, trapping him like a dog in a cage.
“Did you cum?” You ask innocently.
“W-what?” He exclaims almost outraged. “No… No, I didn’t do anything.”
“Poor, baby boy,” you coo through a pout, stroking his toned biceps with your fingers. He definitely goes to the gym. “Y/N ruined his fun.”
You squeeze his muscle lightly through the clothing, imagining how he’d look without it.
“Take off that vest. I hate it.”
Gunil looks at you for the first time in awhile. His face is tizzy, and you can read the clear confusion and uncertainty all over his features. His pretty lips are slightly parted, releasing heavy breaths.
He stands on his feet, after you raise a brow at him.
“See, that’s so much better already,” you state when you see the vest coming off, messing up his hair. “You may have better grades than me, but I know a lot of other fun things, that you don’t.”
Gunil watches you, from the centre of the room, feeling on edge. How you move around in his bed where he sleeps every night, how you distort his own bed sheets. His laptop is still there open next to you with the filthy image glaring at him. His mind starts uncontrollably drifting to other places… What porn do you watch, and do you touch yourself while doing it too?
He squeezes lips, fixing the colar of his shirt.
“For example, I know you have a hot body, that a lot of girls would love to fuck if you’re just more confident in yourself.”
“What are y-you saying right now…” Gunil exhales deeply, and you see the way his fitted shirt emphasises his chest.
“I’m saying that I want to suck you off,” you spit out, and get on your knees. “Before I make you eat me out like that.” You point at his bright screen.
Gunil couldn’t believe the words he was hearing, nor the sight of you taking off your top in front of him. Everything seemed like a sick illusion.
“Come here,” you purr, reaching with one hand.
You immediately start unbuttoning his shirt, getting heated, as more of his skin reveals at you.
At this point Gunil is speechless from your sudden interest in him. Too much thoughts are tangling in his mind, making it all foggy, and all of them revolve around you - the greedy unfamiliar way you look at his body, your irresistible boobs held by your lace bra he desperately needs to suck on. Simply the fact you want to blow him.
When his shirt is finally off, you stick out your tongue, and trace it onto Gunil��s toned stomach. With hands around his waist, you lick from his lower tummy all the way up to his chest, placing a few smooches here and there. You hear his heartbeat racing through his warm skin, while you move to his left nipple to gently suck on it. You learn he’s sensitive after you hear a soft moan, when you playfully bite it.
“These abs must look really nice after you paint them with cum,” you speak out lowly, while your fingertips shape circles, causing him goosebumps. You can’t get enough, so you continue covering his stomach with pretty scarlet marks.
You look up at him, sinfully through your long lashes, when you decide to move onto removing his belt.
“Don’t hold back your moans from me. I love it when boys whine.”
The words make Gunil’s insides swirl, but he manages to mumble a response.
“I won’t.”
“Good boy.”
Your lips curl up when you free him at once from the repressing underwear. A trail of drool almost runs from the corner of your mouth, when you see his cock bounce up, once you slid the fabric down his legs. It’s thick, and a lot bigger than you expected it to be.
“Mmm…” you hum, eyeing it a little closer. Gunil’s eyes widen, not sure what to make of your reaction. “It’s so pretty… and big.”
“Is that… good?” He asks with a doubtful note.
“It’s perfect.”
Gunil gnaws at his lips, intoxicated by the look of his erection pointing right at your gorgeous face. You take it in your gentle fist, brushing the salty tip on your wet lips, enjoying the feeling of his veins against your skin. This makes Gunil’s head spin like a spiral, and he shuts his eyes. Until you speak up again.
“Do you want to fuck my mouth?” You slap your tongue with the flushed head of his cock, making his jaw drop.
You didn’t have the patience to wait for a response, which wasn’t a problem. His answer was already pulsing into your tight fist; delicately dripping precum between your fingers.
When you slide it in your mouth, Gunil is no longer humming awkwardly above you. While you move your head back and forth, twirling your tongue around his thick length, and your wrist around what’s left of his base, he turns into a groaning mess. He has to tug on your hair, so he doesn’t collapse on the ground. He promised himself that he’ll keep his emotions under control, that he’ll not make a fool of himself again in front of you, but his mind went blank the second his cock hit your throat for the first time.
“O-oh my… ‘m gonna…” His half-shut eyes watch you pull out his member just in time, leaving him with an open jaw, whimpering and shaky. “F-fuck, I-…”
“You’re gonna what? Cum?” You tease him by cupping his sensitive balls. “Already?”
“Mm, I-I can’t help it…”
“Fuck my mouth first.” Gunil blinks at your glinting from spit mouth. “Fast,” you add in a bold tone. “And don’t stop unless you don’t want your cum in my tummy.”
After he’s deep in your mouth, Gunil’s hips gradually pick up a steady quick pace, as his hands are wrapped around your head, holding you in place like a sex doll. His cock is throbbing desperately for release, while he jerks sloppily into your face, getting absolutely absorbed in the unfamiliar feeling. With his right leg up on the bed, aiming for harder deeper spots in your throat, his abs clench at the way your small mouth expands to meet his every thrust. The lewd noises emerging from your throat mix with the loud smacking of his hardening ballsack against your chin, causing his upper body to fall forward from overwhelming pleasure.
His jerk off sessions cannot compare even slightly to the euphoric experience of being in a real mouth, especially an experienced like yours.
Gunil’s voice gets louder, as it doesn’t take him too long to reach his peak, and higher pitched when he feels your gags vibrating nicely around his squirting head. He doesn’t rush into pulling away, instead, he waits for the thrill to wind down, as you warm him up. You focus on breathing through your nose, soaking the sheets with spit, as the last drip of his hot cum slides down your throat.
“That was pretty good, baby boy.” You speak up trough your own heavy panting, after Gunil empties your mouth. You stick out your tongue, showing him you swallowed it all to the last drop. “How does my throat feel?”
He watches you, lightheaded, how you lightly lick your upper lip with the tip of your tongue. There’s a little bit of a mess left on your chin, a slick mixture of cum and spit. He’s eager to lick it all off, but something is holding him back.
“So… nice.. amazing.”
“I think it would feel even better if it’s inside my pussy.” You say, removing your bra. “Do you agree?”
Gunil’s woozy gaze moves from your bare breasts to your hips, where your fingers unzip your skirt. You toss the clothing to the floor, and stay sat on the mattress, only in your black transparent tights, letting Gunil to take a nice look of you.
“Have you ever tasted yourself?” You ask him, wiping off the sticky leftovers of his cum from your mouth. Gunil shakes his head, too mesmerised by your actions to speak out. When you make sure your fingers have enough of the mixed juices, you massage one of your nipples until it’s wet and sloppy, watching the boy in front of you, getting lost in your motions.
Even before you’ve removed your hand from your boob, Gunil was already on his knees, crawling between your legs like a puppy. He opens his mouth, and sticks his tongue out to lick everything off. You feel goosebumps covering the skin of your arms, when your nipple perks up from his tongue, causing Gunil to smooch it whole with his lips.
“Ahh, yes, baby, lick it all off. That’s it.” You run your fingers through his hair, enjoying the muffled sounds of his moaning against your skin. “Mm, poor baby boy, must feel nice finally having a nipple to suck on, you must be so, so horny.” You take his free hand, moving it on your right breast. Gunil immediately begins squeezing it like a stuffed toy, without pulling his mouth from the other. “Bite on my nipple.” You moan, as Gunil’s spit drips down your neckline, all the way down to your bellybutton. “Harder,” you pull on his hair, emphasising your need. When you feel his teeth grip on your hardened nipple stronger, you feel the familiar warmth, spreading like wildfire in your lower region. “Mmm, yeah, that’s what I wanted. You’re so obedient, baby.” You pull away his face from you, by gripping his chin. “Now get on the bed for me.”
You eagerly climb up on Gunil’s body when his bare back hits the mattress, and you press your lips onto his. His hands hang loosely in the air, not sure where to go, before you take his wrists, and pin them above his head.
Warm thrill shoots through your body, when you playfully rub your still clothed cunt on his tight stomach. You had no idea you’d end up so turned on when you started this, but here you are - grinding on his body just like you did on your pillow during your high school days. You can feel yourself only getting wetter, the more you look at his pretty sweating face, framed from his two firm muscled arms. He looks strong, like he can pound into you with hours, holding you in a headlock, while your insides get ruined from his cock, and you know he’s capable of doing that, but he doesn’t know it yet.
You’re the only one, that can get this side of him out, but not today.
Right now, you need to see him fall apart.
“You have to return me the favour now.” You say against his open mouth.
A breathy moan escapes your mouth, after you feel his desperate attempt to shove his tongue through. You wait for it to travel around yours, so eagerly and pushy, before pulling away with a string of spit connecting your mouths.
“Have you eaten pussy before?” You lick off the spit of his chin.
Gunil tilts his head, looking away embarrassed. On the moment, you snap at him by grabbing his jaw, forcing him to look at you.
“No!” Your manicure presses into his cheeks. “You will look at me when I speak to you, do you hear me?”
Gunil nods, locking eyes with yours. He feels his cock twitching as a result of your demands.
“I want to see in your eyes how much you want me.” You let go of his hands, after one last suck on his neck.
A sudden ripping sound caughts Gunil’s attention only to find your nails going right through the fabric of your tights. He swallows, staring at your now exposed panties. Your vagina is sitting on top of his lower abs, and that suddenly makes him not want to stay still anymore.
“I-I want to…” He hesitates a little before continuing his thought. “Can I touch you?”
You grin approvingly at his sudden involvement. You reach behind your back with a drop of spit in your palm, to grab his cock, that just got relaxed and much softer. Its perfect girth feels so nice when you hold it, and you can’t stop daydreaming of having it inside you.
“Where do you want to touch?” You ask, stroking the length slowly. Squeezing just a little when you reach the red tip. It immediately starts twitching, suddenly forced to bare a new wave of stimulation.
“Aah… ‘m…” Gunil’s words roll off his tongue incoherently, making him even more attractive in your eyes. “Everywhere,” he tries raising his deep voice, hoping to sound more assertive, but it just comes out like the rest of his whining.
“That’s not specific enough, honey.”
He makes an attempt to sit up, when the edging becomes too overwhelming, but you immediately stop him by pressing your free hand to his chest.
“I didn’t say you could move yet.”
You chuckle loudly when he drops back down with a defeated look in his face. His lips are getting puffier from constantly biting on them, as your hand slides up and down his stiffening cock in an unbearable speed.
“Here,” you tell him, leaving his cock to drop on his lower tummy, and position yourself above Gunil’s face. You pull your panties to the side, hovering over his mouth. The warm breath coming from his parted lips, brushes against your wet pussy, sending shivers down your spine. His breathing alone makes your hole clench in desire, and you couldn’t believe it. “Make me feel good with that pretty mouth, and I will let your hands touch me wherever you want. But for now, keep them away.”
Sweet relief flows through your body, when you finally feel the attention you’ve been so badly craving. Just as you expected, Gunil starts slow. His tongue moves nervously with little kitten licks between your lips. It feels nice, but only that… while you needed more. You’re just about to speak up, helping him out, when you feel his lips pressing against your folds harder, while his full tongue shoots pleasure right into the sweet knot, that waits to be crushed, making you gasp in surprise.
Noticing the change in your reactions, Gunil repeats the same motions, but with more pressure on your clit. He sucks on it, stimulating the sensitive ball of nerves, before pulling away to catch his breath, then returning to make out with your pussy. He spreaded your lips with his mouth beforehand, as much as he could without the help of his fingers, which were now gripping the sheets with knuckles turning white. You cannot help, but mewl in higher volumes, as he begins slurping on the increasing wetness. Those were the prettiest sounds he’s ever heard in his life, and he didn’t want them to stop.
“Fuck, Gunil, h-how…” You throw your head back from the unexpected satisfaction, that keeps on building up. “You’re doing so good… just like that, y-yes.”
Gunil’s fingers grip tightly in response to your praises, and your thighs trembling harder around his head. He feels the urge to squeeze on them as firmly as he could, but his submission to you was stronger, so he controlled his emotions. However, the way you so sensually rolled your sweet lips against his face like a porn star, made him wish he could grab and eat you whole. It seems the more he has of you, the thirstier he gets, which causes his tongue to become increasingly aggressive, making your hips dance in the same rhythm.
“O-oh my god, someone’s greedy…” You pull on his hair, while grinding on his flattened tongue harder, rolling your eyes back at your skull. “Good boy, mmm… you’re being so good for me, baby. Fuck, eat me up with that pretty tongue, just like that…”
Your dirty talk was the last straw for Gunil, and he doesn’t think twice. His hands grab onto your ragged tights, and rip everything apart, before you even have the time to notice.
“Gunil!” You gasp, looking down at him. Your hips freeze in one place. “What are y-“ The sudden feel of your exposed butt cheeks being roughly grasped on makes your question fall through your lips in a weak whimper.
Gunil’s now filled hands grip, squeeze and smush your cheeks, as if he was a little kid, playing with a toy for the first time. He pulls you closer, spreading your cheeks, craving to slide his finger inside your hole, and see what it feels like.
“I didn’t say you could do that,” you grumble, as Gunil slides one finger through your walls, and you feel how they immediately start pulsing around it, begging for friction.
The electrifying feeling of his nose, rubbing your clit tightens the warm knot in your tummy, causing you to cuss loudly, as he adds another finger. Curled nicely, he begins to pump both of them inside you. His free hand holds your ass, while also supporting its movements, so you can ride his face faster towards your high. He could barely breathe, but he doesn’t care.
“O-ohh my god, don’t fucking stop… don’t…” Your hole squishes his fingers, not wanting to let go of them, harder and harder. Your hands reach backwards to hold onto his chest, as you keep moving your hips, feeling your orgasm closer. “Fuck, f-fuck, fuck, you’re gonna make m-me cum… Gunil, ‘m so close.”
You let out a deep throaty moan towards the ceiling, that definitely went through the walls of the room, while you rode intensely through your peak on Gunil’s face. His fingers barely move, blocked from your tight walls, as your whole body vibrates from pleasure, making you dizzy.
Gunil’s chest rises up and down from his heavy panting, as you lay beside him with your legs uncontrollably shaking.
He turns to look at you, not fully grasping what just happened. His whole face glints from juices, while some of his hair is sticking to his forehead with sweat.
“I told you I know more than you, silly boy.” Before you know it, you’re spitting on his cock, spreading the saliva all over by twirling your hand around maybe a bit faster, than Gunil expected, cause his thighs immediately start shaking.
“I knew there was a dirty rough side to you somewhere, and I just unleashed it. Why were you hiding it from me all this time?” You make eye contact, and Gunil can almost see how your eyes sparkle from yearning for sex.
He groans when the stimulating thrill flows through him like an electric wave, forcing him to move a hand over his face. You immediately freeze, when you see him trying to cover up, causing him to almost jerk up from the sudden feel fading away from him.
“N-no, no, p-please…”
“What did I tell you?” You cut off his begging.
“I-I’m sorry, please… p-please I need more… more, plea—…”
You resume pumping him very slowly, getting out surprisingly a swear from him. Something you didn’t expect to hear from Gunil’s mouth ever.
“You know that boys get punished when they misbehave, right? You’ve seen what happens to disobedient boys.” You form a cheeky smile, and Gunil nods, squeezing his lips together.
“Shit-t, this feels ‘mazing… m-more…”
“I wonder…” You speak up with a thoughtful tone, after dropping his cock. This makes him hold his breath in desperate anticipation. “What should I punish you for?” You lean over him with your hair tickling his face. “For not doing as I say, or for hiding your delicious cock from me?” You bite and pull on his bottom lip.
“Both.” He whispers in your open mouth without hesitation, and for the first time you couldn’t think of what to say.
“You’re full of surprises, Goo Gunil. I like it.”
Gunil’s lips curl up slightly into a flustered smile.
After you jump off the bed to get out of your ruined tights and underwear, you feel his eyes sliding on your body, leaving warm traces everywhere they go. You go to his wardrobe and easily find a tie, that would do the job.
“I can’t wait to feel you inside me.” You return to him, spreading your bare legs wide open right in front of him.
Gunil comes closer, positioning himself between your thighs. He’s glaring at the welcoming sight of your pussy. So pretty, so appetising, making his heartbeat race like crazy.
“Let me touch you… p-please.”
You pout at his cute pleading.
“I wish I could, honey, but I can’t. I have to teach you a lesson first.”
You sit up, and push him on his back, causing Gunil to wince under your rougher touch. A slight bit of relief loosens up his body, when you straddle his lap, taking the lead. He obediently gives you to tie his wrists to the headboard, letting them hang over his head, restraining any movements, that could lead to touching you.
“I don’t want to do this, baby, but… maybe know better next time.” You rub his clenching abs, making him already shift in his place.
“Spit.” You bring one hand to his face.
A nice thick trail of saliva escapes Gunil’s lips, and you coat your entire cunt until it’s dripping. You slap it playfully two times, producing sounds that make his mouth suddenly go dry.
“Make me feel good again, baby boy,” you coo in sweet voice, that quickly turns into a demanding tone, which makes Gunil shiver. “And don’t you dare cum before me. We don’t want to add another punishment on the list.”
“I-I won’t.” Gunil shakes his head at the possibility.
You take the base of his cock, and brush the red colored tip between your slick lips. His brows immediately knit together from sensitivity, but he does his best to endure. You watch his fingers form shaky fists.
“Mmm, yes, lets shove that big cock inside, baby…” You persuade him, although he can’t do anything.
Gunil holds his breath, expecting to have his whole cock sucked in, but his face shifts into painful expression when you start slowly massaging only the tip with your tight walls.
“Mh’, n-no, no, please…” He pants with his head moving left to right. “This is t-too slow, I-I can’t…”
“Be patient, baby.”
“It’s too m-much…”
“Shhh…” Your hand crawls from his chest to his face, rubbing along his trembling bottom lip. His face is clenched in displeasure, when he shuts his eyes, baring the slow pumps that are draining everything from him. “You gotta stretch me nice first, honey, I can’t take that big cock all at once. You don’t want to hurt me, right, baby boy?” You say, still playing with his mouth. Brushing through his teeth, pressing the back of his tongue.
Every new word you spit out, makes Gunil’s mind more scattered, leaving him speechles and out of breath. His body jerks up, when you bounce off, and his poor needy tip feels the sudden cold air. His throat groans, as you hover over his cock for a few seconds, before sliding down again, taking more of him this time.
“Mmm, filling me so nice…”
The fact he could feel how every inch of him stretches your small hole is enough to make him flood your vagina with cum already, but he tries to not think about it.
Your jaw drops the second you finally feel his whole member twitching inside.
“Ngh, soo big…” You bite your bottom lip until it stings, as you stay in one place, holding it in.
You open your eyes to see Gunil’s hands resisting the binds, as the temptation to thrust is too strong.
“Ahh, pull out, p-pull out, ‘m gonna…”
“You sure?” You tease in a sweet tone.
When you hear his multiple loud yes-es, you move up, and his cock hits his stomach. He whines like a little boy, as his thighs shake uncontrollably under you, making your body jounce.
“Y/N, p-please… I don’t t-think I can do this… it hurts…”
“Punishments usually work like that, honey,” you explain, as you lean in to nibble on his exposed neck. His head is tilt on the side from exhaustion. “But you’re doing so well. Just a little more, baby.”
Your entrance sucks his cock back. Now you’re able to roll your hips freely, as you got used to his size and there’s no pain, just pure pleasure. Overstimulation washes over Gunil’s body once again, making him squirm under you, as his girth massages your aroused walls in a steady pace.
“Oh, god,” his moans quiver, making you swallow from the delicious sound. “You’re so t-tight.”
“Am I?”
“F-feels so good…” You lightly sway side to side, as his tortured body begs to jerk up for quicker, deeper pums.
“Should I go faster?”
“Please…”
You begin to spasms around Gunil with an increasing force, when you quicken the motions of your rolling hips, pressing both hands on his toned abs. The lewd wet sounds escaping from your dripping hole, clash with his own whimpering, as every part of him is trying desperately not to finish and ruin his own punishment.
However, just when you start feeling the sweet rush coming closer, you make it wheedle away.
“You’re being so good, baby.” You compliment Gunil, after you peel off his cock. “I told you you can do this.” He cries out softly, arching his back, not hearing a single word. His chest moves up and down furiously out of breath, as his skin burn like it’s on fire. He’s trying to hold onto what little control he has left in him.
“No more, please…” Gunil sighs, feeling his flushed cock throbbing faster than his heartbeat. His cheeks are embarrassingly red from having to beg so much.
“Not yet,” you reply, as you let his thick length cram into you again, refilling the room with sloppy noises.
“S-shit, shit, shit…” Gunil’s arm muscles flex, as he pulls his wrists from their restraints. He tries to bring himself up, getting hypnotised from the way his cock disappeares inside your pussy. “You’re so good at t-this. It feels so good…”
“What feels good?”
“You,” he breathes out, repeating the word over and over again, as his halfway shut eyes stop on your bouncing boobs. “Y-you feel s-so nice… inside you.” His voice gets shakier, the quicker you ride him, chasing your high. “Ah, you fuck me so good, Y/N, p-please let me… c-cum… plea-”
His last few words almost melt in the air, as you wrap your hand around his throat. The movements of your hips intensify, as the sensation below increases from his tip, hitting at your cervix.
“You’re becoming more babbly as I fuck you.” Your fingers put a little more pressure around his neck, causing him to roll his eyes back. “So cute.” You shut your eyes for a moment sinking in how good his cock feels, even though his pulsing neck vein, creeping under your hand makes your tummy clench up even harder. “You’ll cum when I say so, you hear me?”
Gunil hums poorly, as a way to respond. His jaw stays dropped open, tongue almost out. At this point, his focus is only on trying to not release accidentally, as his cock meets your g-spot repeatedly with full force.
“Hold it,” you growl at him, but he’s barely listening to what you’re saying between your moans. “Fuck, your cock fills me… ‘o good… love it…” You manage to say, as words begin to fall from your lips more incoherently. “Look at me.” You tilt his head, gazing at his dark teary eyes. “Do you wanna cum, huh? Wanna be a good boy and fill up my pussy?”
“Y-yes, yes, ‘ll be g-good, p-please…”
As the pleasure goes higher, forming anything that’s not noise of desperation, clashing with the sounds of your bodies slamming against each other, becomes too much for both of you.
“C-cum for me then, cum and fill me u-up..”
The second you throw your head back with your jaw falling open for a soundless scream, Gunil cries out, too overwhelmed from finally being able to release. With arched spine, he forces his hips upward as much as possible, while you make your last few sloppy bounces, before collapsing on his chest. His legs shift around out of control, while his tip loads your cunt.
“Mhmm, well done, filling me very nice, baby…” You mewl, loosing up the grip around his throat, while your walls get painted with hot ropes of cum.
You stay put with drained bodies, trying to regain energy to come back to your normal reality, as the effects of your highs clouds your minds.
“Shit,” you look around the room, which has gotten darker from how much time has passed since you got here.
You jump off Gunil to check what time is it, and immediately freak out when you see the digits.
“Oh, no, class starts in less than fifteen minutes, I’m gonna be late.”
You quickly untie him from the bed, and quickly try to put yourself together. Gunil is still sprawled on the bed when you rush around the room looking for your shoes. Just when you grab your bag, and toss it around your shoulder, he remembers.
“Wait, what about the project?” He shouts with a raspy voice.
“Another day.” You shout back.
“But… It’s due next week.” He says towards the already shut door.
He drops his head back onto the mattress, and gazes towards the ceiling, feeling like he’s still living in a dream from which someone is going to wake him up any moment soon.
The last thing he sees before drifting to sleep, are your forgotten ripped tights, laying on the floor of his dorm room.
250 notes · View notes
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Comforting letter from your future lover/spouse
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Hey guys, I am an intuitive reader as I am a clairvoyant. I get visions of future and can channel spirits.
Warning : This is for entertainment purposes. This is not set in stone or 100% true.
I would really appreciate if you would leave a feedback here. It really helps me a lot.
Thanks a lot for reading this, liking and for reblogs. See you soon again :)
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Letter 1 Letter 2 Letter 3
Group 1
Hey Sunshine,
I know it seems hard right? Very much hard right? But do you know how much courage and strength you have within you. You are much stronger than you think. Everybody says the same thing to you like "It'll be okay", "Don't think about it too much" and much more, I would like to say you one thing take as much time you need, start again whenever you feel like it and you have to remember 'Why did you start' I am with you at every step in your life. It feels good to know that you are happy and safe wherever you are at this moment. So, please don't be too sad. You don't know how much you mean to me. It feels like heaven to be with you, to be wrapped in your arms while embracing your presence. I went into the future ahemmm......sorry haha but don't worry I'm with you whenever you need me. You can let it all go only with your one smile.
My brave girl :-)
From
Your Goofy lover
Group 2
Hey my sweetheart,
You know how much cocky I look right?!?! I am just joking, for you I would do anything. Won't you come a little bit closer, huh?! *winks* Why are you smiling like an idiot. I love it when I catch you off-guard like this. I am thriving for you, I have seen you in my dreams, in my vision. It feels really good to think that you are going to be with me. It's worth the wait, I assure you. I am working on myself too. I am waiting for you and being the best version of myself, so that I don't scare you away. You love forehead kisses don't you. I would give you a lot of them, like not only on your forehead but on your sweet and juicy lips too. You like to figure out everything yourself. I would like you to relax a bit and just go with the flow. Don't overthink too much. It would definitely workout at the end. If you want to pursue something as your hobby go for it, don't hesitate. You have all my support. Good luck, my baby girl/boy!!!!
From
Your naughty and sweet lover
Group 3
What's up gorgeous,
You are procastinating a lot of things and that's not good. It doesn't sound good to hear but you need to work hard for your big dreams. It will not be easy and to achieve big dreams you should go out of your comfort zone. You should know you are way more worthy than what you have now. You shouldn't have the victim mentality but the survivor mentality. Confidence looks good on your personality. I am really proud of you that you came this far on your own. You are the strongest. You inspire so many people around you that you have no idea of. I would never let you go once you're with me. I am not like your past partners. I know you had some good partners too but I promise I will be the best. You are my destination and I hope you are willing to walk together on our journey. Have a good day till then.
From
Your cheerleader and lover
1K notes · View notes
tuliptic · 1 year
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How To Overcome Your Fears
Thank you to @bichou-angel​ for suggesting this PAC idea. Know that I love it a lot.
Piles go from left to right, up to down. Memos and notes used here are by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.
Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let’s scroll down to see what are the messages for you.
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it.
Decks used: Linestrider Tarot Deck, Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.
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Pile 1:
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How to overcome your fears? By letting go of what no longer serves you and by embracing your inner child. See, you’re prolly the type of person who loves to take things up upon yourself because you don’t trust others, or you are not comfortable with letting others to do tasks that will affect you (something like group assignment isn’t your forte cuz you tend to do 90% of the scope). It’s not easy to let go, but you have to accept your own flaws as well as the flaws of others. After that, you’ll need to learn to reconstruct the thoughts in your head where flaws are failures. Cuz you see them as something that doesn’t align with you, but sometimes (or most of the time), others may see your method as authoritarian and whatever you do doesn’t align with them. Acceptance is difficult, but it’s necessary, and that’s one of your biggest challenges to overcome. Be here at the present with willing hands and heart.
You may have a lot of nurturing to do, starting with yourself. However, instead of the feminine energy of nurturing, there's more of a… Divine sense to it. Along with some judgement that you really couldn’t help. Lemme give an example. 
You came across this PAC. Though your heart tells you to believe it, your brain couldn’t help but to be critical and just tries to deny some random people on the internet telling you that these are your fears and how you can overcome them. Someone online who doesn’t know you personally? Telling you your fears? Overcoming it just by “embracing your inner child”? Hello?
Yeah this kind of divine sense and judgement is what I’m talking about. It is not easy to let go of what you’ve been taught, which is good. But sometimes, you’re called to listen to your heart, only then you’ll be able to obtain a different sense of mental clarity, something that will be able to help you in the near future.
That aside, going back to the nurturing part. You’re called to nurture your inner child and to try again the things you’ve used to enjoy. For example, if you’ve used to enjoy drawing and arts, try going back into it again. If you’ve used to playing a musical instrument or composing music, try going back into it again. If you’ve enjoyed doing algebra equations and all, try going back into it again. It never hurts to do things you’ve enjoyed. Reconnect with your inner child through fun and play, nurture them, help them, heal them. Your life has been filled with a lot of confrontations, so try soothing them a little with some fun.
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Pile 2:
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Walking away from the past is what you need to do. There’s still so many fears in you because you’re still staying in the place that caused you the most hurt. You couldn’t control the things that have happened, so the better option towards it is to leave. But of course, to leave requires a lot of strength and courage, and it’s gonna be worse if you don't have proper financial assistance to leave. Either ways, you’ll find the courage and the opportunity to get out. There’s The Sun in this pile, but instead of seeing things will turn bright, I’m seeing it as a chance to get out. Toxic situations won’t turn nice cuz it’s already fermented and bad there for so freaking long. 
I’m also seeing fears of disappointing others in this pile? Which is why y’all tend to take up a lot of responsibilities and burn yourself out in the process. You have this innate uhh… Expression in you. It’s like deep inside you, you want to shine, you want the eyes of people to be on you. That’s why you took up a lot of tasks, even tasks that should be other people’s responsibility. You want to be liked. Thing is, you need to accept that your inner peace is more important than the visibility and fame you want to gain. Some people can have both, but are you one of them? If you’re not, you need to weigh which is more important, or you need to find a point of balance between these two. Sometimes, a quiet time for yourself, with yourself would be good for some introspection, where you welcome some comfort into your life, allow your guides to show up and send you any messages.
Treat yourself with care, give yourself the kindness that you'd want to receive. Letting go of self-criticism is your main task for now and know that your guides have been trying to send you so many powerful messages. Let yourself be free from your past. Know that your past doesn’t define you and you have a whole lot of abundance waiting for you in the future. It’s difficult to see it right now, it’s difficult to believe in it too. But know that it’s real. You’ve gone through so much, and it only makes sense when the Universe wants to reward you for all you’ve been through.
Take a deep breath, and let it all out. Do it a couple of times. Pat yourself on the shoulder for me. You’ve done well and you’ll continue to do your best of the day every single day. Expect a new you coming out bit by bit. Have some tea and welcome them.
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Pile 3:
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To all who picked this pile, I feel you a lot, because this is the pile I’ve picked and if it sounds personal, it’s mainly because I prolly subconsciously wrote it for myself.
There’s a lack of balance here, lack of control in this pile. This pile fears not having things in their control and tends to flail around when things happen because. They are not used to going with the flow. There’s this saying in Chinese that goes 船到桥头自然直 , which means things will naturally resolve itself when it’s here. However, my dear pile 3 are probably over-thinkers who can’t accept things to flow on their own. With this, the fear will make you lose your foothold and you’ll feel a lot of disappointments and upsets and a bunch of other not so nice feelings. I wouldn’t call them negative feelings cuz they’re all here for a reason.
You’re also prolly the type who feels caught up in the past, thinking of what you’ve done or said and how you could have fixed the problem if you said a certain thing. Once again, this is peak overthinking energy. You’re called to let those thoughts go, as they’re holding only you back. They’re not disturbing others but you only. Let the past go as it is over, and let your true self, a more experienced you, to step forward. Life’s a constant learning process, so don’t hold yourself too hard, let yourself learn, allow yourself to learn. Once you’ve accepted the fact that we’re all learning, then maybe your fears can lessen a bit. Remember, tomorrow is always a day of new hope.
There’s a childhood card present and it can talk about reconnecting to your childhood, to your inner child. Your inner child is like a divine whisper in your heart and you’re called to listen to it. I saw the word mirror and I think there’s some mirroring of activities (your inner child is mirroring something you do, or you’re mimicking something your inner child is doing), or there may be some reflection going on. Your dreams may be significant as well so maybe pay certain attention to certain themes that have been going on.
You’re called to take action now. Whatever that you’ve been wanting to do, now is the best time. Remember that you’re the co-creator of your life and destiny. A bunch of messages may come, there may be a bunch of things to do. But ultimately, you’re the one who needs to select which message to listen to, which items you should act on. If something’s too much for you to handle and you’re starting to feel anxious, try asking help and working with someone else to get things done?
Once again, remember, you’re no longer the you from the past days. You’re a new you facing a new challenge. Be kind to yourself. You’re facing so many things and it’s alright to let yourself be swept away at times. Remember to get up at the end of things or whenever you wanna fight it. I have faith in you.
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Pile 4:
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First of all, it’s time to evolve. Know that you may be an ugly duckling for now but it’s time for you to transform into the beautiful swan that you’re meant to be.
Next up. I’m not quite sure what the fears of this pile are, but I see that you tend to distract yourself with new projects so that instead of spending your time worrying about things, you can redirect the energy and focus on something new that you’ve wanted to do. You’re very conscious of your own fears and those who picked this pile have a clear and concise plan on how to manoeuvre around them, letting go of things that should be thrown aside. 
However, being aware of your fears doesn’t guarantee overcoming them. Sometimes you’re just moving away from it, ignoring it until one day it prolly gobbles you up. No fault in it cuz you’ll pick yourself up again and find ways to counter it during then. Still, have you thought of countering it when you’re feeling fine right now? Or you’re just confused and have no idea where to start? We’ll see what insights the cards have to offer you.
You’re called to stop taking up so many things and slowly let go of tasks that are burdening you, that are hurting you. There’s this Ten of Swords in reverse here, which tells me the pain they did is more damaging than wearing you down. You’ll need to utilise your thinking skills and let certain things and thoughts go. 
Another thing the cards are telling you is to make strong emotional connections with the important people in your life. It’s time for you to reconnect with your old friends and to maybe go for a cup of tea? Comfort of good company always helps in easing and healing past hurts that have been there. I have a feeling that these people are also here to help you to bring certain messages that you need to hear, bring forth certain changes so that you can transition into a new you.
There’s some strength in you that you need to unlock, so maybe it’s time for you to explore certain heritages of yours, and maybe you can get certain information or updates from there. You may even unlock a new skill from it, and it may even help you to be more at peace with yourself.
For some reason, reading also is significant. Pay attention to the words that appear around you and digest those messages. Maybe lyrics. Who knows, certain part of the lyrics may awaken something new in you, or allow you to cry out the tears that you’ve been holding in for so long that you never knew of. Letting them go only gives you space to focus on nicer things in life that can help you cope or deal with your fears.
Pile 4, your pile is one of the most difficult piles I’ve felt and I really hope all the best for you. I don’t know if my words are making sense right now cuz there’s clarity and confusion at the same time. Just drop me an ask or rb or comment if you have any questions and I’ll do my best to answer you.
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Thank you for reading until the end. Working on yourself, especially fears and past are not easy, and I’m proud of you that you’ve decided to work on yourself. Remember, it’s all baby steps.
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cosmicjoke · 2 months
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Everybody these days is so ready to be offended, to the point in which nobody is willing to entertain the possibility that someone being offensive might just be an innocent and unintended mistake on their part, rather than a deliberately malicious act or expression.
And really, I think that readiness to be offended is a product of wanting to be, because being a victim in today’s world actually wins you social status, wins you attention from your peers, and also serves as an excuse for one’s own bad behavior. You’re allowed greater leeway, given a wider berth and more of a pass for being shitty if you can convince everyone you’re a victim. You’re regarded as special, or of more worth, more deserving of acknowledgement and sympathy if you can claim to be a victim. Today’s culture has turned being a victim into a coveted social status, rather than what it really is, which is a tragedy.
Real victims rarely, if ever, want to talk about their victimhood, or their experiences of being victimized. It’s often a source of shame for them, undeserved as those feelings are. It’s traumatizing and painful. It’s humiliating and embarrassing.
This treatment of victimhood as some sort of sought after status or desirable rank, as some kind of special designation that can win you the admiration and praise of your peers, is incredibly damaging to real victims. It continually undermines their own experiences and trauma, to see others appropriating it for their use, as a means of bolstering their social standing, as a way to gain some reward.
Has any, true victim ever felt rewarded for being a victim? Have they ever bragged about being a victim? Have they ever felt the rush of greater acceptance and praise from their peers for being victimized? Have they ever felt a thrill at identifying themselves as a victim or as part of a marginalized group?
If you feel any of those things when talking about how much of a victim you are, maybe you need to step back and reassess your claims, and think about the ways in which you’re not only undercutting the experiences of real victims by using the status to bolster your own social standing, but also the ways in which you’re re-traumatizing real victims by treating the idea of victimhood like it’s some sort of contest to see who’s the most deserving of sympathy and adulation.
Maybe next time you take offense at something, before jumping down the throat of the person who’s offended you and accusing them of doing it on purpose, ask yourself if you’re really offended, or if you just want to be, because then you can claim to be a victim and win all the excellent prizes that being a victim in todays culture brings.
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thatsokayy · 7 months
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dainsleif x reader (nsfw) | "why don't you come back to my place?"
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A stranger that frequented the bar helps walk you home. He's pretty sexy, you can't deny that...
Tags: oral sex, drunk sex
4.2k words
ao3 link
The man was a newcomer to the bar, and you'd never even seen him in town before. He was dressed very strangely, wearing a mask on the right side of his face, the only feature visible on that side being his eye. He looked elegant, as if he was a descendant of a royal family. He had an air of sophistication to him, and he definitely wasn’t from the area, much less Mondstadt.
His gloved finger dragged along the rim of the shot glass before he picked it up and took a sip.
The stranger shot a glance at you, seeming to know that you were staring at him. Flustered, you grabbed the nearest cup and began to wash it. He definitely wasn't just a traveler. He had an eerie vibe to him so you avoided standing close when you served him, but you couldn't keep your eyes off of him. His light blonde hair was especially striking, catching your eyes every time you turned your head to survey the other customers.
The night went on, and the man had a few more glasses before he abruptly stood up and headed to the counter where you were.
You gave him a polite smile as you would to any customer, and he quietly asked for his check. His voice was deep and rich, and he seemed to prefer making eye contact when talking to someone, although it was hard to hold his sharp gaze.
You fetched him his check and he paid it, tipping you above average for how much he spent, then was gone as quickly as he arrived.
You couldn't lie that he was on your mind. He returned again the next week, ordering the same thing, solemnly approaching to pay the check. And the next week after that. You realized that you would stare at the door, awaiting his arrival at the usual times. One day, when you were bringing his personal favorite drink (at least you assumed it was because it was what he ordered the most), you stayed at his table for a bit longer.
"You've been coming here often,” you commented. "Are you a traveler? Or maybe you just moved here?"
He turned his head to look at you. His penetrative stare sent ghostly spiders crawling up the back of your neck. "I suppose you could say that," he replied after a silent pause.
"Well, no matter who you are, we appreciate your patronage." Usually the customers at the bar were more than willing to chat, especially with a few drinks in their system. This man, however, gave you a curt, short answer and you knew well enough that he wouldn’t entertain you much more. With a polite bow, you headed back to the counter and tried to watch him as discreetly as you could.
Your home was a bit of a trek from the city of Mondstadt, and by the time you left it was already dark. You weren't worried; not in the slightest. Nothing bad had happened to you before whenever you walked home from work. Slimes and hilichurl tribes were spotted in the area occasionally, but they only ever attacked if provoked.
The stars above you looked stunning, along with the moon shining brightly behind a gathering of clouds. You were busy looking up at the night sky when you heard a loud gust of wind blow behind you, and you wouldn’t have paid it any mind if the noise didn’t cause a primal twinge of fear to grow in your chest.
Turning on your heels, you watched as a group of creatures materialized behind you, their devious chuckles making your stomach sink.
You recollected that these were Abyss Mages, and although you never encountered them on your own, you knew they were incredibly dangerous for someone who couldn't fight or didn't possess a Vision. You recollected the tales that drunk adventurers rambled about of their fierce encounters with the creatures of the Abyss. What were they doing in the fields of Mondstadt… and why were there so many together?
You stepped back, watching their every move. A million thoughts and ideas rushed through your mind. Should you run? Can you even run? 
The mages laughed gleefully as they turned their wands in the air, and you were readying to run away when a tall figure seemed to materialize between you and the enemies. Without haste, he quickly eliminated them before you could even recognize who he was, the mages cries of defeat making you pity the poor things a bit. Your savior was ruthless, beating them so terribly that you were sure they’d never set foot (or teleport?) here again.
After he sheathed his sword, he turned to face you, keeping his distance. “Are you hurt?” He asked nonchalantly. 
"You're the strange guy from the bar," you realized, avoiding his question. Not intentionally, of course, but out of pure shock. Of course, you knew that he wasn’t an ordinary traveler, but he seemed to be crazy strong.
He walked towards you and grabbed your arm, turning it over and inspecting it, then checking the other.
You blushed and pulled away. “Hey, I’m fine! You got here just in time before anything happened. Thank you for saving me.”
He nodded in response. You rubbed your arms as he continued to look at you, not believing your reply regarding your well being. You turned to continue your journey home, raising your hand in the air to wave and calling back with one more expression of gratitude.
“Shall I walk you home?” You heard his voice call behind you.
You hesitated. Was it safe to trust this guy? Lead him right to your house where you lived alone and could barely defend yourself if he had terrible intentions? Or, were there more mages waiting for their enemy to leave you alone so they could pounce once more? “I’d appreciate it,” you said.
You two walked on opposite sides of the path. You tried to hide it, but you were jumping at every noise. That encounter had scared you a lot more than you thought. Something about those mages was much more frightening than a pack of hilichurls. The stranger noticed you turning your head to watch your surroundings and moved closer to assure you that you were safe.
“What’s your name?” You asked. Walking in silence was pretty awkward and you still had a bit of a way to go before you arrived at your house.
“Dainsleif,” he replied quickly. “And you?”
You mouthed his name to yourself. “I’m (y/n).”
Dainsleif nodded and kept quiet. He didn’t seem to be much of a conversationalist. You were curious about him, however. His long cape draped behind him as he walked, and he held himself as confident and gracefully as a prince. Who was he, exactly?
You stared at him for a moment before speaking up again. “Where have you been staying? I can tell you aren’t a resident of Mondstadt. Have you been staying at an inn?”
“I’ve been camping. I needn’t stay at an inn when I’ll only be in the city for a short while,” Dainsleif replied.
You scoffed. “You’ve been coming to the bar for almost a month now. I think at that point renting a place to stay would be suitable.”
He didn’t seem to react. “It’s hard to predict when my duty here will be finished.”
Soon enough, you arrived at your house. You unlocked the front door and turned to him once more to say goodbye. “Thank you, Dainsleif,” you said. “Is there anything I can do to repay you?”
“There’s no need,” he replied. “It was a part of my job.”
You knew that if you let him walk away without adequately returning the favor that you would lay awake in bed, the guilt eating at you. “You’ve probably been eating campfire meals, right? Come on, I can make you a big dinner. How does that sound?”
Dainsleif adjusted the glove on his left hand, debating your offer. “I suppose, if you insist.”
You quickly lit the fireplace and prepared the stove. Dainsleif stood awkwardly at the door, watching you walk back and forth through the kitchen as you gathered ingredients.
“You can sit down, you know. Kick off your shoes, take off your coat, relax on the couch. Make yourself at home,” you said.
He opted for sitting at the dining table, hanging his coat over the backrest of the chair. There was little to no conversation as you prepared dinner. Glancing over to him, you watched him look at you, stare at the decorations around the house, or twiddle his fingers as he waited patiently.
What an awkward guy! You remarked to yourself. It was almost alluring, though, and you questioned whether he was like this to everyone or only strangers.
You finished making dinner and doled some creamy soup into a bowl for him. After pouring some for yourself, you placed the bowls at the table. You sat on the other side from him, consciously trying to keep your legs close so you wouldn’t impose on his personal leg space under the table.
Dainsleif didn’t remove his gloves as he ate, which you found odd, but you didn’t want to impose or prod in case it was a touchy subject. You were curious about a few other things, however.
“So, what’s your job here that you mentioned? You said saving me before was a part of it?”
He sipped from his spoon and politely dabbed his mouth with a napkin. “Those Abyss mages… I’m sure you realize it’s strange for them to be in this area, yes?”
You nodded.
“I’ve been trying to track them down, and it seems they’ve been drawn to something in this region. It’s strange that they decided to attack you, however. I was watching from afar and I could tell you did nothing to instigate them,” he said.
“You were watching me, huh?” You teased.
He looked down at his bowl and began to eat once more, ignoring your remark. Once he finished, he sat back in his chair, letting out a deep sigh.
“Want some more? There’s plenty left over.”
He met your gaze, an appreciative look in his eyes. “Yes, thank you.”
Dainsleif ate the second bowl as fast as the first, and you offered to get him another one but he politely declined. You made a note to offer him some to take with him when he decided to leave.
Not wanting to overstay his welcome, you assumed, he stood up and grabbed his coat. “I really appreciate the food and hospitality,” he said.
“No problem at all!” You replied. “I only wanted to return the favor for saving me. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there.”
He gave you a small nod and began to put on his coat.
“Um, listen…” You said. “You can stay the night, if you’d like. I have a spare room with a nice bed and everything. I don’t want you to have to sleep out in the cold. If you’re worried about pushing boundaries, don’t be. I’m more than happy to provide you with anything you need.”
He opened his mouth and you could tell he was going to decline, but he pondered on the offer. “Well…” He rubbed his chin. He looked up at you once more, as if to see if he could find any hint of obligation on your face, but he knew you meant the offer wholeheartedly. “If it really isn’t a bother. Thank you.”
He sat on the couch this time, although he sat stiffly. You almost felt like you pressured him into staying, but it was more likely that he was just hesitant about being offered things, one of those kinds of people. You opened a bottle of wine, figuring it was too early for either of you to head to bed. Maybe some alcohol would lighten the mood.
You sat beside him, giving him enough room so that it wasn’t too awkward. He swirled the drink around the glass before sipping it, giving you a nod as thanks.
The conversation didn’t get too deep, but questions were shot back and forth at each other, you prompting them more often than him.
“Where are you from?” You asked.
“Somewhere that you definitely would not have known about unless you’re a scholar, let’s just say… and you?”
“Always been here in Mondstadt … How old are you?”
“I can’t answer most of these as a normal person would. What about you?”
“Old enough.”
Dainsleif was very, very strange. He didn’t seem to like revealing anything about himself, but when he did it made no sense at all or was too vague to even get an inkling of what he was even saying.
The more glasses you poured, the more you realized you were staring. The details of his outfit were beautiful, surely very expensive. His cologne was dignified and pleasant to smell, much unlike other men who often doused themselves. He had captivating features, and you couldn’t help but wonder why he wore the mask while still showing his right eye.
He seemed to be feeling the effects of the drinks too. His posture was much more relaxed, a pinkish tint adorning his face. You noticed you were sitting much closer to him than before.
The side of his hand pressed against your thigh, and you suddenly remembered the daydreams you would have about him as you were on shift, like a child thinking about their crush that they had never once spoken to.
“You seem to love to stare. Do you do that with all your customers at the bar?”
You felt your face heat up and turned away, pretending there was something very interesting on the bare wall. “It’s not everyday that such a strange man like yourself walks in.”
“Strange? You think I’m strange?” His hand moved to hold onto your knee, and you leaned closer against his arm.
“Normal Mondstadt people don’t wear a mask to the bar, or a big gaudy cape,” you said. Your plan to encourage conversation with wine seemed to work, but it was taking a much flirtier turn than you expected. It wasn’t like you were opposed to this scenario though…
“Ah, you think I’m gaudy too?” He squeezed your knee and a warm spark traveled through your arms and up your back. He chuckled, his deep voice making your heart skip.
“I like it, though.” You wrapped your arm around his bicep. “It’s very eye-catching… A nice change of pace compared to the usual customers I see.”
Dainsleif slowly began to drag his hand up your thigh as he finished off his glass. You leaned in closer to him, encouraging his touch. Everything felt warm, with the alcohol in your system, the heat of the fireplace, and his large hand squeezing at your flesh.
The next moments were a haze; his gloved hand was suddenly under your chin, gentle kisses lining your lips and the corners of your mouth.
Your hand traced his collarbone and neck; your fingers following the thick, dark blue veined pattern raised from his skin.
You slowly pulled away from him, interrupting his string of kisses. He let out a huff, the smell of rich wine on his breath. Sliding off of the couch, you balanced on your knees in front of him, resting your head on his lap and hooking a finger through his belt loop playfully.
He looked down at you with a small smile, eyes half closed. “Where was this confidence when we were walking home earlier, hm?”
“I would say that these are entirely different situations,” you slurred. Dainsleif placed a hand over yours and led your hand to rest on his thigh while he undid his belt. He placed it to the side and began to work the zipper of his pants.
He adjusted his position so that his pants were lower on his hips. It was so, so tempting to go at it right away as you gazed at his growing erection under his briefs. You decided that teasing such a stony-faced man and watching his reaction shift to that of one trying to hold back his expressions (and failing to do so) would be much more satisfying.
You brought a hand to his clothed cock, tracing the outline with your fingers, feeling the bulge grow with each touch. Dainsleif let out a sigh, placing his hand on your head and beginning to stroke your hair.
Time seemed to be so, so slow, and you wondered if he was feeling the same way. He didn’t seem to be hurrying you. That is, until he brought his hand to your cheek and lifted your head to make eye contact with him.
“Now, if you’re going to go this slow I’ll have to take matters into my own hands,” he mumbled. His words sent a rush to your groin and you squeezed your legs tight as a reflex. Would it be so bad if he took the reins?
You fingered at the waistband of his underwear and he lifted his hips so you could lower it. His cock, although not fully hard yet, twitched in anticipation as you let out a shaky breath and brought your mouth closer. Your fingers clasped around the shaft and you pumped a few times, looking up at him to gauge his reaction. Just as serious as ever, but the corners of his mouth were upturned in a curt smile.
You wet your lips with your tongue and slowly kissed the tip before bringing it past your lips and dragging your tongue along it. You could feel it thicken in your hand as he let out a deep sigh above you. His fingers ran through your hair, encouraging you to keep going.
Focusing the tip, you felt your saliva pool on your tongue as you took him further in your mouth with a moan. You took your time, sucking gently and slowly as you lowered your head down. Before you bottomed out, you took it out of your mouth with a pop and held it against your cheek, looking up at him once more, craving some kind of verbal response from him.
Even better, however, was that he tightened his fingers around the clump of your hair in his grasp. You let out a harsh breath, moving your thumb to gently press against his balls and bringing his cock back into your mouth. Despite the warning tugging at your scalp, you once again went down with a slow pace, taking in his musky taste and feeling his skin twitch against your tongue.
Dainsleif clicked his tongue above you and began to exert pressure on your head, pushing you down his shaft. Your stomach reflexed as his tip nudged the back of your throat. You could feel a warm heat gather at your crotch, twitching at how rough he was with you, his actions demanding you to get at it already.
Pumping at his cock with your hand as you pulled your head back, you increased your pace, feeling the outline of a vein brushing against your tongue. His hand on the back of your head guided your movements, pushing you down onto his dick until it jabbed your throat and the pulling of your hair bringing your lips to his tip again.
Sticky precum settled at the roof of your mouth and back of your tongue, but you had no chance to swallow with the pace he settled on. Your lungs fluttered as they took quick breaths, your legs getting shaky and barely able to hold yourself up as you fought against your gag reflex.
Sighs of satisfaction came from Dainsleif, and you moved your hand to grasp his pant leg as he began to move his hips to match his rhythm. You could feel tears gather at your eyes as he fucked into your mouth and your nose began to run, but the thought of him using you like this to get himself off turned you on beyond imagination.
An especially rough thrust forced a groan from you and he pulled you up, a line of drool trailing from his cock and your tongue. You took deep breaths as he finally gave you a chance to and his hand moved to cupped your cheek.
“Please tell me if I’m being rough with you, alright?” He reassured.
You simply nodded. It hurt, and you could already feel how bruised your throat was from his thrusting every time you swallowed, but just having him fuck up into your mouth and hold you in place made your groin ache with need for release. You brought a hand into your pants to palm yourself, rubbing at your sensitive point and leaning in close to Dainsleif’s cock once more.
While you touched yourself with one hand, the other moved to wrap around his shaft again and you went back down onto his dick, going at a faster pace than you initiated before. You and your throat were much more accustomed to his length, especially since he wasn’t forcing you down onto it as rough as before.
“Perfect. You’re so good, doing so good (y/n),” he praised, his sentence ending with a large huff. You felt yourself get even closer to finishing just from his encouraging words. Glancing up at him for a moment, you noticed him biting his bottom lip and he watched you obediently suck him off.
Matching the speed of your own hand working yourself to an orgasm to the bobbing of your head, you felt your thighs strain and tense as you quickly approached it. After a particularly deep thrust, you came all over your hand and a heavy moan forced the air out of your lungs.
The vibration of your vocal orgasm caused Dainsleif to groan, louder than any of the noises he had previously made. You felt his cock twitch against your tongue and his fingers tightened in your hair as he pushed you down his shaft, your nose brushing against the trail of hair on his front.
The hot wave of cum coated your tongue, the bitter taste causing you to reflexively swallow. Dainsleif held your head in place as he released his load into you, then slowly guided you off of his cock. A mixture of spit and cum dribbled down your chin, and you unceremoniously wiped it off with your forearm.
When you finally sat down on the carpet in front of him, you realized how sore your legs felt. You took deep breaths, eyes barely open. You sniffled, the tearing up from gagging causing your nose to get stuffy. Your mouth and throat felt sticky with the remnants of cum.
“Damn,” he muttered. “Who would’ve thought this is how we would end up tonight?” Once Dainsleif caught his breath, he pulled up his pants and moved to sit at the edge of the couch. He cupped your chin and titled it so you’d look into his eyes.
“Let me get you cleaned up, alright?”
The two of you entered the shower. You were exhausted, leaning into his body as he carefully brought a washcloth to your groin to wash off your own cum, then lathering up his hands with soap to clean off your chin and wherever else your spit managed to drip onto.
With gentle touches that contrasted the rough grasps he gave you before, he ran the soap through your hair, washing it and massaging your scalp.
You were almost too tired and too drunk to realize, but he had removed his mask and gloves. The veinlike patterns that trailed his neck reached up to his cheek, branching out and fading at the tips. His hands had the same marking, except much more abundant. You stared at them; you had never seen anything like it before. You wondered where he got them from, but you knew that if you asked he would provide no clear answer.
He led you to your bed, then gathered both yours and his clothing. You offered to show him how to start the washing machine but he waved you off. “It’s alright. I can manage,” he replied. “You get warmed up under the covers.”
While you awaited his return, you felt yourself falling asleep. You could fight it no longer, and only woke up partially as you felt Dainsleif slip under the blanket with you and wrap his arms around you.
The morning sunlight shone through your window, and you brought your hands up to shield your eyes and rub the sleep out of them. Rolling over to face the other way, you suddenly remembered what occurred last night, realizing that your guest wasn’t in the bed with you.
Groaning, you got up from the bed, using a blanket to cover yourself. “Dainsleif?” You called as you looked outside of your bedroom towards the dining room. You saw a piece of paper lying on the table and walked over to see what it was.
Slanted handwriting lined the paper, and you sighed after reading it.
“Thank you for the meal and bed, (y/n). I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again soon. I’ll be awaiting our reunion. I hope you enjoy your breakfast.”
He signed it off with an elegant signature, very fitting for his personality.
On the counter top, you noticed he had left you some ripe sunsettias.
Who knew when the mysterious Dainsleif would return to you?
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seenoversundown · 3 months
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Sparrow Of The Dawn : Chapter Five
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Sam x Willa (Fem OC)
Warnings: Swearing, One mention of the word 'Daddy', mentions of boners? Mild accidental groping, light talk of spit kink if you squint, a lot of movie references, Jumpscare Warning: Jeremy Allen White, mentions of very minor injury, Girls Night (gender neutral term), guys being dudes, mentions of avoiding a car accident, fluff, and per usual Sam just being his usual self.
Word Count: 8k.
Author’s Note: Taco Bell IS on the boycott list and just included for entertainment purposes. Also, if you need help with figuring out which companies are on the boycott list you can download the “No Thanks” app to keep track!
Summary: Sam unfortunately finds himself in not so meet cute with Willa. Hopeful that he doesn't cross her path again; the world works in mysterious ways and not always in your favor.
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That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings “Are you callin' me darlin', are you callin' me bird?”
‘If it weren’t for bad luck, we wouldn’t have any luck at all’ is a phrase my grandfather repeated growing up. I feel that a little more deeply these days, especially when it comes to my truck. As I sit here, willing her to turn over every time I twist the key, I lose a bit more hope. I have got to get her looked at. I pull my phone from my back pocket and text the group chat, praying that someone is awake this early. 
Me: Is anyone awake that loves me enough to drive me into work. Edith wont start again ☹️
Tweedle Dee 🦐: It’s your lucky day.
It only takes about ten minutes before Josh pulls up in his white Jeep truck, and I’ve never been more thankful that we all live so close. 
“You look awfully dapper for 7:30 in the morning,” I remark, eyebrow cocked. 
“And you are just a pair of cargo shorts away from being Steve Irwin, but you don’t hear me questioning you.” He retorts. Touche. “I thought I was dropping you off at the newspaper office?”
“You are, but we’re going to Wolfe’s Neck to take some nature photos for the assignment we’re working on. I’m meeting her at the office first.” Josh and I haven’t spoken much in the last few days; he’s always busy lately, working at the bar or devoid of his phone for hours, so I fill him in on the project.
“An incredible idea, Sammy. All hers, I assume?” He chides.
“Not.. all hers. I helped.” I speak a bit more defensively than I mean to. 
“Convincing.”
“I did! We’re even using a couple of my film cameras because I’m so nice.” I further defend my stance.
He pulls up to the curb, effectively cutting our conversation short, thankfully, and I exit his car.
“Sam!” He yells jovially, and I turn around, his window fully unrolled. “Have a good day, Sammy Boy! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” He twists the dial on his stereo volume. The soundtrack of my suffering plays to the tune of ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua. I wave him ‘goodbye’ with a simple middle finger as he drives off. As I make my way back to the front door, there she is. 
Birdie. 
She greets me with, “I bet he’s a nightmare in the morning.”
“You have no idea.” I reach for the door, opening it for us both and letting her walk in first because I am a gentleman; however, I am still a pain in the ass. “Is it not too early in the morning for my voice today?” 
“It's always far too early to hear your voice, Samuel.” She presses the button on the elevator and twists her shoulders toward me. 
“How are we supposed to work together if you refuse to talk to me, huh?”
“It’s not like taking pictures requires conversation.” The sound of the elevator dinging catches our attention, and we both enter. Birdie reaches to press the correct floor button.
“How about,” I start, facing her and smirking with a cocked eyebrow, “we stop for coffee and breakfast, my treat? Since now, I don’t have to break the news to you that you have to drive.”
“You.. have my attention.” The elevator arrives, and we exit right, down the hallway, through the glass door, and past the reception desk. Sharon greets us warmly with a wave; she’s no Daisy, but she is lovely. Once we reach the cubicles, we separate, unloading our belongings on our own desks. Birdie looks good today. Her earth-toned Patagonia pullover fits snuggly, along with the black leggings on her legs. The tail ends of her brown bob poking out the bottom of her tan Carhartt beanie. 
“I see you’ve dressed for the occasion.”
“Oh, uh yeah. I couldn’t exactly wear my Steve Maddens in the forest.” She stares down at the white socks and brown hiking boots I know are on her feet. “Where are we going, by the way? You never told me, just said, ‘I have a place.’”
“Wolfe’s Neck State Park, you been before?” 
“Surprisingly, no. It’s on my list though.”
“It doesn’t open until 9, so we have a little bit of time to kill before we have to leave; it’s only a half-hour drive. Maybe forty-five or fifty with breakfast.”
“Did you wanna hit up Dunkies for breakfast?” she asks.
“Please, god no. They can never get my food right. I swear they have a secret vendetta against vegetarians.” 
“I didn’t know you were a vegetarian. Is it an animals with faces thing?”
“Nah, Daniel, bet me fifty bucks I couldn’t do it. I never turn down a bet.” I sit down on my desk and cross my arms. Looking at her over the divider.
“How’d that turn out for you?”
“A new diet and fifty bucks richer,” I snicker. 
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The trail I lead her down is not a very long one. I can hear her small feet padding behind me, breaking branches and rustling leaves in quick steps. She takes two to match my every one. I figured one of the shorter trails would work better for getting in and out with enough time to head back and finish our project. 
“Ooooh, it's giving Twilight,” she beams, eyes huge with excitement.
I turn to follow her gaze toward the large, moss-covered rock wall. A few fallen, slimmer trees lay around the bottom. She runs over toward it.
“This is the skin of a killer, Bella.” Reenacting a scene from the movie. A movie I’ve definitely never seen. “I don’t care. You won’t hurt me.” she quotes dramatically, switching from Edward to Bella. She matches Bella’s awkward movements perfectly. It’s hard not to laugh, her head bobbing, arms flailing, jumping back and forth between spots for each character. I haven’t seen this side of her yet, A fun side. Who knew Birdie had it in her? 
“You know I’ve never seen Twilight before.” I lie as I slip one strap off my shoulder and pull my bag around to the front of my body. Unzipping the compartment that has her camera in it, I pull it out and give it a wiggle. She walks over to meet me. 
“Never had a girlfriend in high school who forced you to watch it?” she smiles, jokingly as she takes the camera from my hand and slips the strap around her neck, checking over her settings.
“Nope.” popping the ‘p’, “Never really dated til I got to college.” I take out my own camera.
“Aw got no game huh?” She makes a mocking frown at me as we walk down the trail. 
“Got no game, huh?” I mimic her. Way to go, Sammy. Wicked come back. That’ll teach her. 
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We take our time, snapping photos as we go until we reach the water. It's beautiful here. Large formed rocks surround the lake that makes up an amazing scenic view. The sunshine only adds to the effect. It's breathtaking every time. I can’t believe she’s never been here before. We slowly walk up to the edge of the water. She finds little crevices that the water runs through. In her continued child-like wonder she can’t help but kneel down to run her fingers through it, picking up small rocks to inspect before dropping them back into the tiny flowing river. The sun’s rays bounce off the water, the reflection a bit blinding, but I’ll take it on a day like today. It sparkles off the waves created by the small gusts of wind, which keeps me comfortable, but I notice the little shivers that run through her shoulders. Despite the minimal clouds in the sky, the sun isn’t strong enough to truly warm you from within this time of year. 
I watch as Birdie steps onto one of the taller rock formations. She brings the camera to her eye, the clicking sound pleasantly mixed with the sound of all the petite rivers running nearby. She drops her camera and tilts her face toward the sun, eyes closed, taking in the warmth from the sunshine above. She looks as peaceful as it feels out here. I snap a photo of her. She brings her arms out as if she's standing at the head of the Titanic; I snap another one. That is what Maine is about, the simplistic beauty of being with nature. Any time of year, any weather. Just enjoying the feeling of connecting to nature. Water, trees, rocks, sunshine. All of it. Always. 
I’m so lost in thoughts of her and home I don’t notice her suddenly standing in front of me. 
“Earth to Samuel.” She sing-songs, fingers waving in front of my face.
I shake my head, willing my brain to focus on the task at hand. “Yeah, what.”
“Can I put this in your bag?” She’s holding a rock. A damp, white-ish looking rock clutched between her delicate fingers. 
“Uh, sure?” I’m very confused. I open a compartment, and as she places the rock inside, she shivers again. I guess it is chilly despite the day’s sunshine. It's still March after all, though I’m not a great gauge for temperature because I run warm.
“Are you cold, Birdie?” I question.
She scrunches her nose in response. I fight with the thought of how cute that is. “I’ll be fine,” she dismisses. “I’m always cold.”
“Here, take my scarf. I’m hot anyway.” Pulling my scarf from around my neck.
She immediately gives me a side-eye. 
“It’s.. not gonna bite, Birdie?” I tease her with a little wave of the scarf.
“Not my name,” she scrunches her nose again, apprehensively reaching out to grab it. “Biting I'm not worried about. It being magically cursed into strangling me when I least suspect it, on the other hand.” She tosses her hands back and forth like an invisible set of scales. Her hands work intently as she folds the scarf in half and places it around her neck, taking the ends through the loop and pulling it tight. 
“What am I? Harry Potter?” I scoff. 
She lets out a cackle. “Not even remotely. More like Lucius Malfoy.” She raises an eyebrow at me. 
“Wow, straight to Lucius. Not even Draco, huh? Yeah, I guess I am Daddy.” I stop in my tracks as I watch her pluck another rock from the tiny river leading out toward the water.
“Ew. God, no.” Her infectious laugh hits me right in the gut.
“See, Lucius was evil.” She stands, and her eyes give me a once over before placing the rock in my hand, presumably to be put in my bag with the other one. “Draco had a good heart even if he was a little chicken. Plus,” raising her pointer finger, “he was hot. And you are neither of those things.” She turns back to the small river of flowing water.
My mind flashes back to the other night at the bar, where she’s sitting with her friend. “No, you’re right, Wilson. Sam IS cute.” Replaying in my head. 
“Oh, really?” my mischievous side coming out to play. I step toward her. 
“Mhmm.” 
“OH, REALLY??” I repeat louder, taking another step. She stands to face me.
“YES,” she says pointedly. 
I smile wide, now looking down at her. 
“That’s not what your friend said the other night.” I bite my lip, tilting my head to the side and running my hand along my jawline. I watch as her eyes follow my movement, a fire lighting behind them. I know I’ve gotten under her skin by calling her out. 
She raises both of her eyebrows, this time taking a step toward me to fully bridge the gap between us. Nearly chest to chest, nose to nose, she says, “Wow, I’m actually shocked you were able to pull your head out of your ass long enough to hear someone speak besides yourself.”
I chuckle, running my tongue along my teeth. “I don’t hear you denying it. Go on, you can say it. You think I’m hot.”
“And why would I need to deny such a clearly false statement, Samuel?” Confusion etched across her face. “You know, when you come up for air, usually you can hear better. You should try it sometime.”
“So, that’s not what I heard, huh? ‘You’re right, he IS really cute.’ ? Your friend never said that?”
“No, you didn’t. Because no, they didn’t.” She huffs. I pick up on the use of ‘they.’  
“Right, right.” I nod my head. “So, do they frequently lie to embarrass you?” a silent acknowledgment between us. 
She pulls out her phone, tapping away. 
“Whaaaat are ya doing?” I question her clear deflection. 
“Just looking to see if there is a quick care clinic open on our way home because, obviously, you need to have your ears checked out,” She pockets her phone. “Can we continue, please?” A swift eye roll follows as she turns to walk back toward the little river.
“Wait, wait, wait,” a breathy chuckle falling from my lips. “If it's not you who thinks I’m cute. Then it must be your friend, right?” She opens her mouth to try to cut me off before I even get started, but, “So, can I have their number then?” slips out before she can manage. I relish in the fact that I know I’m bothering her. 
“No, no. Absolutely not.”
“Wow, for being Birdie, you’re not much of a wing-woman, are you?”
“First off, they would hate you. Second off, what makes you think I’d ever be your wing-woman. And THIRD-OFF, that’s not my name.”
I feel a bit of satisfaction and a warm swell of my belly when her nose scrunches in distaste. 
I wander off back toward the trail we came down, keeping my gaze pointed toward the opening in the trees. Trying to focus in between the little gaps for anything interesting or photo-worthy. The leaves are not quite growing yet, and the ground still wet with leftover melted snow. I can hear the squish of the damp soil with every step I take. The lead into spring is probably my favorite time of year. Most people enjoy the summer because the weather is nice and warm and the surrounding cities are alive with tourists and events. But those moments of fresh life leading into spring show you that despite the dark coldness of the winter, you can still grow and bloom into beautiful potential. The hope of it all, to come out the other end of the darkness to greet the sunshine, is why it's such a valued season to me. 
Just then, Birdie comes padding over to me with two more rocks in her hands.
“Sam, I found more.” She calls on her way over. I, once again, pull my bag to the front, and she opens a pocket, attempting to deposit the rocks herself.
“No, not there, I have a lens in there.” I zip it back up and choose a different one. “Try this one.” As she’s trying to fit the larger of the two in there, something clicks inside my brain.
“You’re one of those girls, aren’t you?” 
“One of what?” Her brows are knit in frustration when she realizes the rock is too big. She picks another, thankfully empty, pocket.
“One of those girls that sits around with her crystals and her tarot and her moon water.” I chide.
Her hands stop what they are doing and she slowly looks up at me, eyes narrowing. “How do you know about moon water?”
“It’s a long story.” I shake my head and sidestep the comment so I don’t have to talk about ‘she who shall not be named’. “You know my brother is into all that shit. He’s got crystals all over the place.” 
“The brother that owns the bar or the one with the mustache?”
“Uhh.. both of my brothers have a mustache.” 
“You sure about that.” She smirks. Oh, they’re both gunna just looove that. “Actually, why don’t you give him my number since we seem to actually have things in common.”
“No.” immediately denying her. “If you refuse to be my wing-woman. I refuse to be your wingman. No way.”
“Fine then, at least make yourself useful and find some space to fit this in your bag.” Flashing the rock, she couldn’t fit before. 
“Seriously, how many more of these do you need, Birdie? My bag is getting heavy.” 
“How about you hold this one.” She pulls a small crystal from her bra, and drops it into my open hand. “It’s good for grounding. Maybe it’ll help center you. Woo sah, Sam. Woo Sah.” 
Very funny.
I offer to drive the way home and now I’m curled uncomfortably in the driver's seat of Birdie’s car. Partly to get warm again and partly because of the intense growling of my stomach. 
“We should stop for lunch before we head into the office,” I suggest.  
“Where?” She pulls out her phone, searching for options.
“Is there a Taco Bell nearby?” 
“You can eat at Taco Bell? I wouldn’t think a Mexican food place would be vegetarian friendly.”
“Taco Bell is hardly Mexican, but you can sub almost anything out for beans. Plus, I’m craving a crunchwrap.” 
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We pull up to the drive-through speaker, and I place my order. “I’ll have a cravings box with a black bean crunchwrap supreme, a spicy potato taco, and cheesy fiesta potatoes, and a Large Dr. Pepper, please.” Her eyes are boring holes into the side of my skull as I pull out my card to pay. I scrunch my face in question. 
“Nothing.” is all she says.
She leans over the center console to place her order, elbows perched and ass off the seat. I know she’s trying to be able to project her voice from across the car, but she is so close. I shrink back into my seat to try and give her space, but I can't escape her sweet floral perfume. Oh, she smells so good. I close my eyes, reveling in the mixture of orange blossoms and vanilla as it clouds my brain.
“I’ll have two soft taco supremes and a medium Baja Blast, please.” She plops her ass back in her seat, “Ready?” 
I open my eyes again. “Yep.”
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I hand the cashier my card and receive the receipt and we pull up to the second window. She is staring at me again with the most unpleasant face. 
“Okay, what gives. Why are you looking at me like that?”
The worker opens the window and hands us our order. Birdie's own customer service voice shining through her ‘thank you so much!’ Unwrapping our straws and sticking them in our respective drinks while I slowly pull away from the building. I reach for my Dr. Pepper and take a large, satisfying gulp. 
“How can you possibly drink that?” 
“A Dr. Pepper?”
“Yes! It's like.. Against the law in at least 22 states to not order Baja Blast when you go to Taco Bell.” she quips.
“Oh, you’re not gunna like this.” I pause.
She stares intently.
I take a deep breath in and exhale slowly, “I.. don’t.. Like Baja Blast.” 
She stares some more. This time, the brown of her eyes barely peeking through the thin space between her eyelids. 
“Dr. Pepper just hits better.” I shrug.
“We- Are not friends.” Turning back to the food in her lap.
“Consider it one of my 19 crimes,” mumbling around a bite of my lunch. 
“Every sip is a little act of warfare, Sam.” She argues a bit further down the road. “I cannot believe you would commit such.. Such TREASON in my own car.” Her hands wave theatrically in front of her.
“Oh, you’re a Queen now, are you?”
“It is my car, so if I say I’m the Queen of my car, then I’m the Queen of my car. And I rule that drinking Dr. Pepper is an act of treason.” She crosses her arms, chin raised high, a playful smirk sitting on her plush, chapstick-covered lips.  
I laugh, a good, full-bellied laugh. She’s fun when she wants to be. When she’s not being so combative.
“I’m so sorry, Your Grace,” I respond and enthusiastically take a bite of my spicy potato taco. She rolls her eyes at me.
“How much food did you order?”
“What? I’m a growing boy!” I argue.
As soon as I take another bite, chipotle sauce comes out the bottom and lands right in my lap. “Oh shit!” I once again say around my food. She starts to rummage through the bag for some napkins. When she finds one, I reach my hand out to take it, but she bypasses me completely, leaning right over the center console with her head nearly in my lap, hands working to try and get the sauce out before it stains.
That’s how I ended up praying to the Gods above that I don’t accidentally pop a boner while she cleans up my crotch. What have I done to deserve this?
“It’s fine. It’s not on the seat. It’s just on your pants. Hold on.” I squirm under the pressure of her fingers as she tugs to flatten out the fabric of my khakis to make sure she gets it all. 
“It's fine, Birdie. Birdie!” raising my voice to catch her attention, to no avail. “I can take care of it when we get back. Or we can stop off at my apartment, and I can change.” I plead, desperately wishing for this to be over. 
“I almost got it. Stop moving!” I glance down as she slaps my thigh. Holy shit. She licks the napkin then and I swear I see Jesus in the middle of the freeway. I press the brakes to slow down to avoid a collision. Trying my best to focus on the road ahead, but instead, now all I can think about is her spit on my dick. Oh God. My eyes go wide as soon as the thought crosses my mind, and my dick definitely twitches. 
Oh, don’t go there. Not now. Think Sam, Think. Grandma Althea. Her house is old and smells like moth balls. Her hands are always dry from all the fabric she touches because she’s always sewing something. She coughs really loud and wet because of the cigarettes she smokes. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief when Birdie sits up. She clears her throat, “I uh think it should be all set.”
We drive the rest of the way back to the office in silence. I really hope she didn’t notice. But then again, I do have terrible luck.
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When I walk into the dark room, Birdie is already in there; the red lights casting a glow on her that reminds me of the first time she walked into my brother’s bar. Though now she’s rifling through the lower shelves.
“Whatcha lookin’ for?”  
“I uhh, I haven’t developed film since college. Tryna find some instructions.” Her ass in the air as she continues her search. 
“I don’t have nine film cameras for nothing, Birdie. I know how to develop film I can help.”
She stands and faces me, the uncomfortable expression on her face taking on a completely different view under the light. I wish I knew her well enough to know why she’s so uncomfortable. 
I get us set up with our film canisters and developing mixture while she grabs the rolls of film from my bag. We each carefully cut the film off the cassette. I try to focus on what I’m doing instead of how our fingers gently brush each other while loading the film onto the reel. I pour the developing mixture into each canister while she watches on. 
“We have to shake them every, like thirty seconds for a few minutes, and then we can do the stop bath,” I instruct her, and she nods.
Her small, delicate hands hold the rather large container as she shakes it back and forth. “Like this?” She questions, her brow furrowed. And.. I am only a man. Staring too closely at the motion of her hands, I freeze. For christ’s sake Sam. Be normal for 5 seconds. As I clear my throat to answer, I drop my canister. In her attempt to help me we end up crashing our heads together.
“OW.” “Oh Fuck.” We mumble at the same time. I feel around for the edge of the counter and end up knocking the other film canisters into the sink. 
“For fuck’s sake,” I whine. I reach to grab those, and Birdie bends down to grab the one I dropped. And, it is so dark in here she ends up ramming her head right into my junk.
“Fuck!” I yell. At the rate we’re both complaining, I’m sure they think we’re trying to fuck. If only I were that lucky. Instead, I now need to ice my goods.
I hold my breath, willing the pain to stop.
“Sorry.” her apology is small. 
A strained “It’s fine” tumbles from my lips.
We continue awkwardly fumbling around each other, trying to make sure the rest of the containers stay properly agitated, and instead, she gets properly agitated. If this was a cartoon, I’m positive that steam would be coming out of her ears.
“It’s too small in here; you are far too large, and it's too dark.” She huffs. 
“I don't know what to tell you, Birdie. It’s a darkroom, and I cannot get any smaller.”
“That’s not my fucking name.” Angrily, setting down the container with a loud thud. 
We add the stop bath and then the fixer, making sure to keep a good distance from each other, and then finally rinse and soak the film. 
When we hang the film up to dry, I realize I have about a foot on her.
“Need me to get you a stool, shortie? Or should you just hop on, and I could lift you up.�� A cocky smirk spreads across my lips. 
“Nah, you’re the man you could do the heavy lifting,” she makes air quotes around ‘heavy lifting’. 
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 Once they’re fully dry, I gather the film strips and bring them to the lightbox. Scooting our stools close and setting each strip up one by one to see the negatives of our photos. Shooting nature is one of my favorite things but Birdie really does have an incredible eye for it. Of course, I’d never tell her that because she would hold it over my head. Our styles are very different, which is clear to see lined up next to each other, but they still look amazing together. 
“These.. Are really great, Birdie.” I smile down at her and bump her with my shoulder gently. Her face softens a bit and I can’t help but think how beautiful she looks. I am a man- I’m not blind.
“The hard part is choosing the best ones. It feels like choosing my favorite children.” Her infectious laugh plays through my ears, and I smile back.
We take some time discussing which ones have the best lighting or the best proportions. Which ones we think will make great features and finally settle on eight ‘prized children’ to print. The other eight photos selected for our presentation will be digitally edited and printed outside of the darkroom, making at least half of this project easy. At least the editing and printing we can do from the comfort of our homes in our PJs. Which is exactly what I will be doing after I see Daniel for dinner. 
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We settle back in the dark room using the projectors to print our respective photos. I don’t know what’s in the air today because I keep messing up. Either exposing for too long or too short and I keep running back and forth between the developing tray and my projector to try to correct it. On one of my passes, I run smack into Birdie. In my effort to stop the collision, I put my one unoccupied hand out to cushion the momentum and ended up grabbing her boob instead. For fucks sake. How does this shit keep happening?
I pause, slowly backing away. She just heavily sighs.
“Well.” She brushes her hands off and adjusts her beanie. “That’s the most action I’ve had in a minute.”
Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “Is that why you’re such a tight ass?”
“No, I have,” she emphasizes, “such a tight ass because I do squats.” And now I’m thinking about her in tight gym pants doing squats.
“Well, if you ever need help loosening up a bit, you know who to call.” 
“Jeremy Allen White?” 
“Who?” I match her confused expression.
“Oh, you know, he was in Shameless. The bear?” her brow further knits each second that passes. “He just had that big ad campaign for Calvin Klein?” Calvin Klein? As in.. models. Cool. First Edward, then Draco, now.. models.
“Yes, because I definitely seem like the kind of guy who keeps up with Calvin Klein campaigns.” Really trying to drive the point home with a snarky tone. 
“Oh..” I try to read the expression on her face before she continues, “I just thought because of you.. You know, actually know how to dress yourself.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“You shouldn’t. Your competition is the genre of men who pick up a shirt off the floor and go, ‘yeah, this smells clean’.” She stands on her tiptoes as she hangs her last photo and then promptly exits the darkroom. 
A few minutes later, she returns through the circular door. It always reminds me of something a magician would have on stage. A weird sort of contraption to ensure the light stays out and doesn’t ruin the developing process for those inside.
“Sam.” her voice is quiet again, just above a whisper. I look up at her and can barely make out her petite frame in the dark. She’s just standing, a strip of film pinched between her fingers, head hung low. 
She continues just as quietly, “Did you.. Um. When did you take these?” The realization hits me. I forgot about the pictures of her. 
“Oh. Uhh. You were just.. Ya know in your element. And I sorta thought. Well, this is a big part of what Maine is like. Ya know. Outside, nature. You just seemed.. Happy. Thought it should be captured..” I trail off. Oh God, she’s gonna think it's weird. It's not weird, though, right? No, Sam, it's fine. 
The length of silence kills me. The longer she doesn’t talk the more I start to internally freak out. As if being a naturally warm-blooded person wasn’t bad enough, I feel myself start to sweat. I wipe my forehead of the perspiration gathering there and grab at my wrists for a hair tie, of which is conveniently missing at this moment. Please say something… please.
“This.. um.” she pauses, inhaling and exhaling a deep breath. “They’re lovely, Sammy. Thank you.”
Sammy.
“Yeah.. yeah. You’re welcome.” I shift my focus back to my photo.
“So, uh.. Anyways,” she says, calling my attention back to her. “Since we’re printing the photos here and we’re editing the digital ones at home, you can just email me the finished ones when you’re done, and we can talk about the bullet points we’ll go over for the presentation.” She turns on the projector light until she gets the desired contrast, and then turns it off and carries her photo to the developer bin. I grab my own photo and walk over to meet her, dropping it in the solution to join hers. She idly uses the tongs to move her photo around the bin to help the developing process. Just like shaking a Polaroid picture, it doesn’t really work; it only passes the time. 
“That sounds good, Birdie.” I reach to grab the other set of tongs and end up blindly bumping her arm in the process, knocking hers to the ground. She bends down to retrieve them, and I set my sights on a different pair of tongs to my left. Two things happen at once. First, I bend slightly to reach the other pair. Second, she headbutts my ass. That’s two parts of me she has head-butted today.
“We’ve touched more today than I ever thought we would in this lifetime.” She groans.
“Think about us touching often, huh?” because I can’t help but try to get under her skin every chance I get. 
“Why are you like this?” she complains. She tosses the tongs back on the counter and goes to fish the photo out with her fingers. I lunge to stop her, but I’m too slow.
Now, it’s definitely not life-threatening to handle photo-developing chemicals without gloves. But they are, at the end of the day, chemicals and can sting like a bitch if you have opened wounds. Given how clumsy she is, I anticipate –
“Ouch, FUCK!” she yells, cradling her hand. I grab her by the wrist and shimmy us over to the sink, where I turn the water on cold. When the temperature is cool enough, I pull her finger under the running water.
“That was stupid of you.” I gently scold her. There’s no weight behind my words, just concern. 
“How stupid, Sam? I didn’t realize I had a cut. Is it bad? Do I need to see a doctor?” She rattles off. 
“Hey, hey, hey.” I leave one hand on her wrist, keeping it in place under the faucet, the other one I place on her cheek. Settling in the crook of her neck beneath her ear. The palm of my hand burns against her cool skin; she really is always cold. Despite the darkness of the room I still pull her gaze to meet mine. “Calm down, okay? You’re fine, I promise. A little stupid, maybe. But you’re fine.” I rub my thumb along her cheekbone, hoping to soothe her worries. I can barely make out her eyelids as they flutter closed for a moment and then open again. 
“You promise?” I can feel the anxiety radiating off her.
“I’d pinky promise if you wanted me to.” I joke, and she lets out a small giggle. Pride settles in my chest, knowing a crisis is averted.
“God, that was stupid.” she laughs again and rests her forehead against my chest.
“Lil bit.” I shake my head and slide my hand down to rub her back. Part of me doesn’t want to move from this spot, knowing she's comforted, but I ruin the moment anyway. I pull back from her, hand resting on her shoulder now. 
“Lesson learned, huh?”
She zips the top portion of her Patagonia pullover a little higher when we make it outside. I pull out my phone to see who is available to be my chauffeur home.
“Did you need a ride home, Sam?” She asks, pulling her collar up to her ears. The ends of her hair start to stick out. 
“I was just going to see which brother was a spare and could swing by.” I drop my eyes back to my phone. 
“I can give you a ride home if you want? I know you’re not too far out of my way, I can just.. Drop you off?” placing her foot on the next step down and pointing toward the parking lot. 
“You don’t have to do that. None of them do anything productive anyway.” I laugh. 
“Do you have more than just the two?” I bite my lip and smile when her brow furrows in confusion. 
“No, but you know Daniel? The bouncer? We went to grade school together so he’s been my best friend since we were like six. He's basically a brother at this point. Ya know, brotha from anotha motha.” Her gentle laugh bringing forth another swirl in my belly. 
“Oh, I was about to say. I’m not sure the world could realistically handle any more of you Kiszkas.” She says when we finally reach the sidewalk. 
“Yeah, they broke the mold with me. Realized I was peak Kiszka genes and said, ‘all done’.”
“Seriously though, I can give you a ride. It’s no big deal.”
I fall in step with her, “Why not? None of my degenerate brothers are answering me anyway.”
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The drive back to my apartment is quiet. Almost too quiet for us. The awkwardness of the day still lingering in the air. I clear my throat to cut the silence, but I can’t think of anything to say to fill it. I just fidget with my fingers instead.
“How are you getting to Boston tomorrow?”
“Uhm, well, the plan was to ride the train in like I did last time, but Edith almost made me miss it.”
“Edith. Right. Your truck.” 
“She’s having trouble turning over.” I run a hand through my hair.
“Well, I don’t want to have to worry about you missing your train and messing up this presentation for us by not being there, so i'll pick you up at like 6 a.m. if that’s fine with you.”
“You don’t have to do that. I told you I live close to my brothers. I'm sure one of them can take me.” 
“It’s really fine. I have to make the drive anyway and I really want this presentation to go off without a hitch. It would make me feel better if I knew for sure you’d be there.”
I don’t read into that sentiment. She just wants the project to be successful, and I know that. So I agree, much to my dismay. I hate feeling like a burden to people, and with Edith giving me trouble, I feel pretty much like a burden to everyone who has to deal with me. 
When we reach my apartment, she pulls over to the sidewalk out front. 
“Why don’t you put your number in my phone, and I’ll text you when I leave my apartment. I’m only like ten minutes away.” She pulls her phone out from the center console near her gear shift, and I put my contact info in. Entering my phone number and email under Sammy Kiszka with the camera emoji.
“I put my email in there so you can flag it, but shoot me a text with yours when you get home so I know where to send the digitals.” I place her phone back in her palm. “Thanks again for.. carting me around.” I let out an awkward laugh and scratch the back of my neck. 
“No problem, see you in the morning,” she gives me a tight-lipped smile. 
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I grab my camera bag and hop out of her car. Shutting the door with a small wave through the window. 
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When I hear the signature knock, I know Daniel’s arrived. Two quick knocks, a pause, a single knock, another pause, and ending with two quick knocks. I don’t know when he developed that habit, but he only uses it on my door. Penelope lets out a loud boof of a bark and runs ahead of me, her shaggy hair swaying with her little jumps. Well, little for Pen. When I open the door, she’s already sniffing and pawing at his legs. 
“I brought beer.” He says as he holds up the 12-pack of coronas, careful not to trip around her. “Hope you got limes.”
“It’s me. Of course, I do.” Gesturing to myself and stepping aside to let him in, “Plus, I have an extra large meat-lovers pizza on the way.” I resist the urge to make a joke about ‘meat-lovers and guys night.’ “So.. tell me what’s wrong.” I continue, following him into my kitchen. He's stacking the beers one by one inside the fridge to keep cold, Penelope impatiently waiting for her attention from her favorite uncle. Her words not mine. I can tell by the expression on his face he’s struggling with whatever is on his mind. He closes the refrigerator door and shrugs off his coat, setting it on a nearby chair. 
“Hello, Penny girl. I wouldn’t forget about you, I promise.” She laps at his fingers as he playfully pets her face. Still reaching for her head as he stands, he takes a deep breath. “I, uhh, went on a date last night..”
“Still living up to your name, I see. How was it? Awful? Terrible? Did she have a big head or lipstick on her teeth?”
“Very funny.” He snarks back. “It was terrible, thank you very much.”
Eventually, I get the full story out of him. His date, named Allie, a very adorable waitress he met through a friend of a friend, was completely horrible (pleasant), didn’t let him pay (she wanted to split the bill because her drink was expensive and she felt bad), and.. the kicker? She opened the door for him (she got to the door first). We’re each two slices and a few beers deep, and I can’t figure out where the awful comes in. 
“She sounded completely fine, Daniel. I don’t get it?” I lean back against the couch, Penny quietly snoring by my feet. 
“She ordered a salad, Sam.” he looks at me expectantly as if that answers everything. “A SALAD!”
“Oh no. A salad. How completely terrible of her.” I roll my eyes. 
“I.. want a girl who isn’t afraid of eating a burger.” he shrugs, drawing a sip of his corona and lime. 
“Do you want me to be honest with you?” I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes in frustration.
“Always.”
“Bro.. you have got to get over Melody.”
He stands, effectively scaring Pen awake, and I watch him pace back and forth in front of my TV. She pads over to him, nails clicking against the hardwood until she can get her paws on him. 
“This has nothing to do with her.” He stops and reaches down to run his fingers through her fur for some comfort through this uncomfortable topic. 
 The subject of Melody has always been a touchy one.  He dated her in high school, and we were all pretty good friends for most of our childhood. I really liked her for him, actually. Until she broke his heart when we all graduated and ran off to college, leaving him in the dust and I was the one who was left to clean up the mess. The mess being Daniel because he was.. A full blown mess. He would never admit that, though. But what can you expect when you get your heart broken for the first time? I kind of get it. He has always been and always will be my brother, and I’ll always be there for him. No matter what. Which naturally means I’ll always harbor a severe distaste for her, even if I know I don’t have to worry about seeing her ever again.
“This has everything to do with her. You haven’t been able to make it past the first day with a girl since you broke up. It’s been what? six years?” I shoot him a pointed glare. He stops pacing and crosses his arms, waiting for whatever else I have to say.
“Have you considered that trying to get to know someone while eating food is actually incredibly awkward? Or is this really just about the monstrous salad?”
“She also wanted to go for a walk after dinner.” He defends. The sigh I let out.. My God. “Why would I wanna go for a walk when I stand all day at work?” 
He cannot be serious right now. The weakest arguments known to man.
“You’re an active guy, Daniel. Why wouldn’t you want to go for a walk? Doesn’t Linda always go on about your golf arms or whatever?” 
“No, that’s completely different, and you know Linda is the love of my life.” he smiles wide, his tongue poking out just beyond his teeth. 
“Right. So what other red flags did she have?” I dig a little more. 
“Okay, well, she tried to kiss me?”
“GASP.” I feign shock. “She wanted to kiss you? How very dare she. Daniel, that’s absolutely insane. It’s not like you guys went out on a date or anything.” 
“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.” he plops himself back down on the couch beside me, his shadow following him until she perches her head on his knee. I swear, when he’s here, it's like I don’t exist. “Tell me about poking girl. How’s that going?” He lays his head back and pulls his trucker hat down over his eyes. 
“Good. Project is good. I still can’t ever tell if she likes me or not. We bicker and banter all day long. It’s entertaining as hell for me. Then, there are some moments where she acts like a sweet, normal girl. But most of the time, it's just bickering.” I take a swig of my beer. “I gave her a nickname to get under her skin, and she makes this face every time I say it. It's very.. Samantha from Bewitched.” I swallow my laugh down with another sip. 
“Whaddya call her?” he asks with a smirk, eyes poking out from underneath the brim.
“Birdie.”
“Birdie? Why on earth does that get under her skin?”
“Dunno.” I shrug. “But it does. And I take sick enjoyment out of irritating the fuck out of her.” I set my empty beer back down on my coffee table. 
A maniacal laugh escapes him. Clutching stomach, he bends forward. I start to wonder if he got high before he came over because what the hell is so funny?
“Oh god.” He wipes a tear from his eye and rights himself on the couch. “So you think she’s cute, huh?” 
“I mean.. I.. have eyes, yeah?” I answer with confusion heavily present in my tone. “But we don’t get along. As in cannot go five minutes without bickering, don’t get along.”
“You always did like em’ psychotic, Sam. None of us are stupid.” he chuckles.. to himself because I am not laughing. 
“No, I don’t!”
“Right, and Chelsea was what? Totally normal? You didn’t listen to a single one of us on that one, and we all told you.”  I forgot about her. The girl I dated right before ‘she who shall not be named.’ We saw each other for only a few months but what a whirlwind it was. We went to a concert an hour away, and she ran off with one of the roadies. A fricken roadie? Left me there to get home by myself, considering, yep, she drove. But again, she was hot, so what was I to do?
“Hey now! She wasn’t.. that bad.” I say innocently.
“Right, that’s what you always say. Sam – I never take advice from anyone – Kiszka.” 
“Yeah, alright, keep laughing. As if I’d take advice from ‘One Date Daniel’.” I elbow him in my defense. “Besides, I’m not sure I have much to worry about. Once the project is over, I won’t have to see her again unless we actually do well.”
I get up and head to the kitchen to retrieve another beer from the fridge, and my own dog doesn’t even glance up at me. She just rests peacefully by Daniel’s side. I open the drawer to the left and pick up the bottle opener, and pop the top. I take a long drink before I reenter the living room.
“I uhh, actually the receptionist at the Boston Globe is really cute. Her name is Daisy. We hit it off a bit when I was there last.” I point to the flowers laid on the shelf. “I stopped by the farmer’s market after work and picked up some daisies. Thought I might ask her out tomorrow.”
“Daisies for Daisy. Real creative, Sam.”
“Hey!”
“How’s Birdie gonna feel about that?” he inquires. I pick up the flowers from where they rest and give them a light sniff. 
“Oh, she’ll hate it. She already chirped me about hitting on Daisy last time we were there. Said something about ‘it's easier watching teenagers flirt.’ or whatever.” I set them back down and take up my spot on the couch. 
“Yeah, you never did have any game.” He tips his corona back, finishing the remaining liquid and setting it on the coffee table.
“You say that like your game is any better.” I shove his shoulder.
“I may be ‘One Date Daniel,’ but at least I get dates.” he chides, linking his fingers together with a crack of his knuckles in front of him and placing them behind his head.
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Chapter Four
Chapter Six
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lakesbian · 8 months
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i need toknow what the fuck is happening in rose's brain (or was before blake got eated rather) i may have to undergo the mortifying ordeal of theoryposting publicly and all. which is why people wanted me to liveblog in the first place. anyway. why the fuck did she hug him. what's wrong with her brain. i'm compelled by the idea of like. upper middle class bitchy cutthroat cishet white girl doing a very good job at Continuing The Cycle--not necessarily lying to herself that the way she's behaving is because she's the only good-hearted one here being slighted by everyone else like some of her relatives might be--but believing that the ends justify the means, or perhaps that performing those means to perpetuate those ends is inevitable and/or inescapable on her behalf. she was born into & raised by The Thorburns and not only can't escape but quite possibly has no Desire to escape the perpetuation of the involved cruelties--task set upon her which she will grimly carry out as her grandmother did before her and etc etc.
the interesting wrench here for her is that part of carrying out those tasks means watching someone who is literally [deep inhale] Herself But If She, Due To Different Life Circumstance, Left Home, Experienced Different Traumas, Attained A Deeply Loving Friend Group, And Formed A Personality Based Largely Around Kindness And Fair + Equal Exchange march like a lamb to the sacrificial altar to buy her time. perhaps nudging his course on the way to the altar at times but largely just watching it because he's a really blundering meandering lamb who doesn't like being told what to do very much. (neither, i imagine, does she.) which, like, that's an inherently fascinating dynamic. not just seeing but Knowing the person she could've been if she had only stepped away from the cycles of family cruelty. blake is doomed, bound to die (obligatory: badly) and drag people down with him with very little awareness of the fact and without making anything tangibly better for the next generation. he's bullheaded, and he doesn't read the fucking books, and he's quite frequently impulsive and bad at compromising and prone to horrendous mistakes which harm far more people than just him.
he's also the type of person who can talk at length about how amazing his friends' art is, how much he loves the tattoos he got from one of them. who will lend his own jacket to an acquaintance even when he's in worse shape. who will take on nigh-suicidal tasks not because he Is suicidal (or at least isn't yet, anyway) but just because they needed doing and no one but him was willing.
how do you, as a bitch of a woman trapped in (& willing to function within the trap of) the horrors of your particular family, meet a You who turned out like that, and not hate him at least a little? find him bumbling and annoying and ignorant, resent him for not being the best sacrificial lamb he could be, for being the type of person who ran away from home instead of getting it into a chokehold. but also, how are you not at least a little fascinated by him? the vestige of what could have been will be gone the second the illusion of blake thorburn inevitably shatters and she takes back her rightful place, but for the brief period of time where that illusion is solid, how could she resist the urge to entertain the idea least a little? the idea of a version of her that will put up with a hug purely to make her feel better despite hating touch, the idea of a version of her that naively believes there's a good way out for both of them.
like i think perhaps she hates his ass because his ass is, from her perspective, a dumb and cringefail miserable little sacrificial lamb who is going to be a BITCH to play along with until whenever he kicks the bucket. and she is fully aware that she is lying her ass off because she has 0 desire to intervene in the process of this alternate-her marching himself to the altar for her. but also she mayhaps. occasionally. just a little. gets lost in the sauce of that game of pretend where she's pretending she actually respects him as an equal or has real investment in him not dying badly. is this anything. are we going anywhere with this. like literally what If you met an alternate version of you and that alternate version of you is dumb and stupid and unsustainable and totally fucked but also nicey. you would totally Strongly Dislike their ass but also Genuinely find yourself compelled to wring a moment of real affection or connection out of them before they explode. anyway blake has next to none of these complexes about her and thus no hypothetical weird psychosexual obsession with her. but rose? yeah you can get a hypothetical weird psychosexual obsession with blake out of rose.
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galaxyzone · 1 month
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Little Hope MBTI character analysis
A little while ago, I made this post where I typed all of the DPA characters as their possible MBTI types. I enjoyed thinking about it, so I thought I would go ahead and share my analysis for each of the characters!😊
Starting with the Little Hope characters because @delurkr expressed interest, so thank you!😊 Currently working on the MoM characters, so I will also post those as soon as I'm done❤
Here are my analysis posts for all the games!
All analysis under the cut bc it's kinda long lol
Andrew (INFJ): Andrew was one of the easiest DPA characters for me to type. INFJs are the "Advocate" or the "Counselor." Both INFJs and ENFJs typically fill the role of the group mediator, due to their combination of Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Extroverted Feeling (Fe). For INFJs, Ni is their primary cognitive function, which essentially relates to their desire to figure things out. They find themselves in their own head very often, trying to make sense of various concepts or ideas. We see this with Andrew, as he spends the majority of the game trying to figure out what's going on and how they're connected with their doubles from the past. Fe is INFJ's secondary cognitive function, which relates to the "mediator" or "counselor" aspect of their personality type. Andrew pleads for the other characters to stop their fighting when it's clear to him that the arguing is not helping them figure out what's going on. Finally, INFJs essentially have a "chameleon" personality, which enables them to get along with almost any type of personality. We also see this with Andrew, as he's the only character who gets along pretty well with every other character. At the same time, unfortunately, this can also make it hard for them to really know who they truly are, and it can also make it harder for other people to understand the INFJ as well as the INFJ understands others. I personally believe I am an INFJ myself and I related a lot to Andrew tbh, so I feel pretty good about this typing haha
Taylor (ENFP): ENFPs are the "Campaigner" or the "Champion." An ENFP's primary function is Extroverted Intuition, which Taylor certainly exhibits with her consistent desire to see if there's another path or another way to go about things, for example. Ne also has a tendency to want to focus on big picture stuff, rather than small details. Taylor recognizes that the town of Little Hope sucks and has some bad mojo going on, and she's more interested in simply getting out than she is in determining just why it sucks. I also believe her Ne is the reason she wanted to stay at the bus instead of going further into the town, because she had a feeling that the town was bad news. Speaking of feelings, an ENFP's secondary function is Introverted Feeling, which Taylor definitely exhibits when she opens up to Daniel about finally feeling like part of the group. She talks about what does and what doesn't feel right to her, which is a big indicator of Fi. Fi users have strong beliefs and base their morals off of what they feel is right or wrong, rather than basing them off of what other people feel is right or wrong. Taylor knows how she feels about the town and she is willing to fight on behalf of her feelings & beliefs, which we see her do when she argues with John about it. ENFPs are also very spirited, high-energy people, just like Taylor. They can be a little silly and they're not afraid to be themselves, as they often have their own ways of doing things. I feel pretty good about typing Taylor as a spirited ENFP!
Daniel (ESFP): I went back and forth on Daniel, but I feel good about typing him as ESFP. ESFPs are the "Entertainer" or the "Performer." An ESFP's primary function is Extroverted Sensing, which relates to seeking out experiences and simply wanting to do things, even if it's just for the sake of doing them. Upon Daniel & Taylor being returned to the group through the fog, Daniel immediately has to go back through the fog to see if it happens again. He doesn't stop to think about it, he just does it because he doesn't want to waste any time pondering what just happened. When you think about the scientific method, the step of hypothesizing comes before the actual experimentation; but not for Se users- they always skip right to the actual experiment so they can reach their conclusion faster. Daniel also doesn't hesitate to reach for the little girl hiding in the playground, and there are also a few other instances where he acts immediately. Similar to ENFPs, an ESFP's secondary function is also Introverted Feeling. When Taylor objects to Angela about the idea of Daniel being her boyfriend, Daniel immediately takes it personally, believing that Taylor doesn't want to think of him that way. He seeks reassurance from her, and it's interesting to see 2 secondary Fi users try to reassure each other throughout the game. Similar to Taylor, Daniel knows how he feels about the town and about what's happening to their doubles, and he is also willing to fight for his own beliefs.
Angela (ISTJ): ISTJs are the "Logistician" or the "Inspector." An ISTJ's primary function is Introverted Sensing, which relates to simply observing facts and taking things for what they are. Si is different from Se in that, while Se users just want to do things, Si users tend to watch things and make their judgments based off of what they observe. Angela acknowledging the fact that her demon only started pursuing her once her double was executed is an example of Si. She doesn't need to analyze why the demon chased her after her double was drowned, it's enough for her to understand that your double dies = a demon tries to kill you. ISTJs are very fact-oriented due to their Si. An ISTJ's secondary function is Extroverted Thinking, which typically lends itself well to administrative or leadership roles. This could be why Angela criticizes John's leadership and his inability to make decisions- because her Te would arguably make her a better leader, and it can sometimes frustrate Te users when they have to follow someone who doesn't lead with the same decisiveness. An ISTJ's primary Si mixed with their secondary Te can also cause them to make blunt observations about people, which is similar to how Angela outright refers to Daniel as Taylor's boyfriend upon observing that the 2 of them seem to like spending so much time together. All in all, Angela is a very practical ISTJ character who isn't afraid to say things like they are and she doesn't want to mess around.
John (ENTP): John was definitely one of the hardest DPA characters for me to type, as I'm still going back & forth on him tbh. He's definitely a T type, but I don't believe he's a J type, as xxTJs are typically more assertive & sure of their decisions, which we know is something John struggles with. I also believe he's an intuitive rather than a sensor, so that narrows it to xNTP. Here's where it gets tricky: choosing between INTP & ENTP isn't as simple as figuring out whether he's more introverted or extroverted. The question is whether his primary function is Extroverted Intuition or Introverted Thinking. I can definitely see him being an ENTP, as they are known for "playing Devil's Advocate," which John arguably does by accusing Mary of being the source of evil within Little Hope. ENTPs are the "Debater" or the "Visionary." ENTPs like to question almost anything and everything as a way to learn more about the world in which they live. They will never back down from an intellectual challenge, and they're also not afraid to question other people on their ideas or points of view. We can see John do this, as he's not afraid to disagree with the other characters when they give their opinion on what's going on. He challenges Taylor on her desire to wait at the bus, he challenges Andrew on his stance of trying to defend Mary, etc. His primary Ne mixes with his secondary Ti to think outside the box and work to discover other possibilities that make sense to him & what he believes to be true. He humors Taylor & Daniel about their claim that the fog led them back to the group, he proposes the idea to Andrew to burn the poppet they find in the museum in case it's the source of the evil, he tries to think of any possible ways that they can help their doubles from the past. I think I feel good saying he's an ENTP!
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thekimspoblog · 2 months
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Some clarification on the FotD series.
A fan complained that the plot of my "Fantasy of the Day" series for the BCS/McWexler fandom was really hard to follow. And that's... not their fault at all; the plot is hard to follow because there really isn't one singular plot.
The Premise: The first thing that you need to understand, is that the FotDs are just fluff-n-angst snippets I pull out of a proverbial hat. Usually, I come up with the idea for a scene which would look cool, and fill out the details of the backstory later. So if one of the stories in my posts comes across as vague or self-contradictory, that's why; I'm making it up as I go. And usually instead of better explaining a premise, I'll just move onto another one.
The Setting: Season 1 of my "Slippin' Kimmy" fanfic has a more set-in-stone story arc: In a single sentence, Kim joins a cult. Season 1 is set in rural Wyoming between the fall of 2016 and the spring of 2017, but most of the FotDs are set anytime between 2017 and Kim's eventual death. I have no strong opinions yet for what should happen in Season 2, and so the FotDs are all just spitball ideas for plots which might happen. It's a running gag how frequently Kim is forced to uproot her life and move to a new city, so an FotD might be set anywhere in the world.
The Main Character: Kim has been promoted to the occupation of "fixer" in the Breaking Bad universe. Her updated business card reads "Wexler-McGill: Image Consulting", but her services run the gauntlet of: off-the-record legal advice, schmoozing politicians and business people, orchestrating media circuses and publicity stunts, hiring hacktivists, delivering mysterious packages, laundering money, bookkeeping for philanthropic organizations, bodyguard work, P.I. work, sabotaging weapons manufacturing facilities, organizing protests, smuggling Mifepristone and Estradiol into red states, renovating and flipping failing shopping malls and entertainment venues, and much more miscellaneous espionage. Assassinations are a line which Kim will never cross willfully, but she is frequently caught in the crossfire when white-collar criminals try to take eachother out.
The Romantic Lead: Jimmy's story is over, but he's not willing to ever leave her, so he has no choice but to come along for the ride. He's finally living the dream of going into business with his wife, and he joins her on roughly half her adventures, but at this point excitement is something he could take or leave. He takes pride in playing the role of the homemaker, and his love for his children often motivates him to be the voice of caution. He supports and agrees with Kim's so-called "Revolution" - the subversion of unjust laws, the redistribution of wealth, the sabotaging of hate-groups - but whenever the heat gets too hot, he will make the tough but pragmatic decision for one or both of them to go into hiding again. Kim is wearing some golden plot-armor in this story, but Jimmy's mortality looms over almost every FotD. Not only does Jimmy simply want to make the most of how ever much time he has left, but there is a palpable threat that sooner or later he will be stuffed into a freezer for the sake of creating drama for Kim. If they could have it their way, they'd explore the cosmos forever as a pair of ageless trickster gods, but the spouses both know that in all likelihood she will outlive him.
The Prodigy: In this spin-off, Jimmy and Kim have two children; Iris and Fille. The oldest child, Iris, is barely even my OC; they are the most obvious answer to the question "What would the McWexler baby be like?". All their best and worst qualities in one precocious brunette imp. Quick-witted and silver-tongued, a born performer with sticky fingers, both figuratively and literally. Iris comes out as non-binary in their preteens and is accepted pretty immediately, but for the record any FotD which refers to Iris as "she/her" is canonically an example of their parents misgendering them because they didn't know any better. While Kim is out doing her adult career of... being the protagonist in an AMC series, Jimmy and Iris spend most days doing their best impressions of Moses Pray and Addie Loggins. Admittedly, Jimmy could be doing more to teach Iris respect for the rules as well, but there's something more sinister going on with the dynamic between Kim and Iris. Kim wants Iris to be prepared for whatever life throws at them, and to a certain extent she wants to see Iris continue her work, and because of that Iris shoulders a heavy burden. Kim is for the most part vindicated; Iris grows up to be a survivor and a forager, even as a drought deals a killing blow to American democracy, and they do follow in their mother's footsteps as best they can, but it's still bitter-sweet.
The Black Sheep in a Family of Wolves: Like I said, the FotDs are just random snippets pulled anywhere from a broad-strokes timeline, and because of that the ages of the children vary wildly. However Fille (pronounced "Philly") is consistently written as being two years younger than Iris, and in many fantasies, the children are between six and four. Even at an early age, not much is known about Fille because she is an introverted child, but as she gets older, this evolves into being a clear foil to Iris. Where Iris will talk your ear off, Fille listens patiently and only speaks up when something is truly wrong. Where Iris will bend the truth just for fun, Fille's silence should never be interpreted as a love for secrets. Iris's moral code is flexible so long as altruism and self-interest overlap; Fille's morality is rigid to the point of being childish, but at least it keeps her out of trouble. Iris loves meat, whereas Fille... honestly, Kim respects Fille's conviction to vegetarianism... but it was a phase Kim went through once upon a time too, and she grew out of it.
The Villain: This is probably where most of the confusion is stemming from. In Season 1 of SK, Caleb Dawson and the Riverton Unitarian Interfaith Church are the antagonists, but by the end of the season, Dawson is dead, his henchwoman Mary is at large, and Kim has taken control of the Church's resources. I haven't quite decided what will become of the loose thread with Mary, but the Church's money and credibility will only last until shorty after Fille is born (2 years). Beyond that point, I don't have any specific Big Bads lined up. Kim will follow the trajectory of getting into bed with shady characters (this time to push an agenda), enjoying working with/for this client for a stint, then eventually having to defeat them in a battle of wits when the alliance goes sour but the villain won't let Kim back out of her contract because she knows too much. Let's face it; this was always Breaking Bad's formula. When it comes to the FotDs, sometimes I'll just steal villains-of-the-week wholecloth from other similar tv shows.
The Vibe: The villains all blur together after a while for Kim. As do the schemes she does, both for and against them. Just like the places she visits: one night she might be seeing opera in Tokyo, the next she and her family have had their assets frozen and are sleeping in their car. One night, they're caretakers of a too-trusting hippy's goat farm, the next she's alone sleeping on the cold cement of some kingpin's dungeon. The point of the FotDs is to juxtapose the opulent world of murder and intrigue with the peace and quiet of the domestic life Kim is trying to defend against all external threats. In her most caricatured form, Kim Wexler is a 90's pantsuit archetype who, by some cosmic mistake, lived to see the 2020's. She's a pragmatist; she knows what she values and she keeps her attention on those things. In "Better Call Saul", she never quite figured out a good work-life balance, but last time around, she had put her faith in institutions which didn't value her time or share her priorities; this time she's only trusting herself to manage the resources. The American Dream may be crumbling, but she is still determined to "have it all".
@somethin-stupid-67 @joshgoodman @slippinximi @richeeduvie
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communistkenobi · 11 months
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sorry for sending this and getting involed while everyone else is being a dick about it. please dont think i agree with them.
but i do want to say that like. the genital preference thing is just like, a preference. like some people prefer to have sex in certain ways and thats not always possible with a given person's anatomy. i dont think its like a moral issue to say like for example "i like eating pussy but i prefer not to suck a dick" because those are two different things? and it doesnt necessarily come from transphobia either, i think theres more nuance than that.
there are plenty of reasons that someone might prefer a given set of genital traits (idk how to phrase that) like some people vastly prefer sucking a dick and thats great and fine and someone without that wouldnt be able to satisfy them in the ways they want to
like it will ofc get transphobic if there are assumptions about a persons anatomy based on whether theyre trans. like "i wouldnt have sex with a trans woman bc i dont like dicks" IS transphobic. but the statment "i dont want to have sex with a person with a dick" is just, a preference. the transphobia, i think, comes from the given assumptions about what trans bodies look like, both before and after surgery, thats where the political and social implications of genital preference come in. well that and the set of sex acts that people assume are possible with any given genitals.
wrt the sex acts thing like i, a pre bottom surgery trans guy, can have piv sex using my dick, which people would not think given the political and social implications of having a vagina. i think at a certain point blanket statements dont cover it and you would be Much better off confining it to specific sex acts and discussing with a person beforehand.
ftr i dont think cis people use the term genital preference acceptably and we should absolutely take that phrase away from them. but that doesnt make the term itself transphobic imo
I guess I’m just not willing to give this line of argument a lot of credit given how deeply this conversation is entrenched in (especially transmisogynistic) transphobia. I do not think it is possible to fully extricate yourself from cis-heteronormative ideas about bodies when talking about genitals in general.
And to be clear, I agree with you in the sense that I think moralising all aspects of sexual desire can lead to really bad conclusions - my stance on this issue is not predicated on the fact that I think all sexual desire and sexual expression is indicative of some underlying moral principle (ie the notion that BDSM or kinky sex means you love abusing people, or that engaging in group sex means you’re needy and self-centred, etc), because I don’t believe that and I think that can quickly lead to reactionary ideas about sex. But I am unwilling to cede rhetorical ground to “it’s just a preference” not because I think it’s impossible to prefer certain styles of sex over others - or even certain genitals over others - without attaching grand moral values to those preferences, but because of how deeply violent and malicious these ideas are so often expressed in the world. There is a dedicated slur for trans women that is premised on the fact that they have “the wrong” set of genitals, and by “pretending” otherwise (ie by being women) they are “tricking” men into finding them attractive or having sex with them. Because genitals are synonymous with gender by societal standards, because their presence and absence within gendered spaces are so deeply policed, because trans people having the genitals we have is itself seen as a criminal act (“concealing” our “true nature” for “nefarious” purposes) as well as evidence of the fraudulence of our humanity, I am extremely reluctant to entertain casual conversations that conclude with “well it’s just a preference.” Like, okay, maybe it is! But when I see that articulated in ways that frame some genitals as universally “repulsive” or disgusting, both of which are aesthetic assessments with very loaded (even if unintentional) moral judgements, transphobia alarm bells start going off in my head. Trans people are existentially dislocated from public spaces because our genitals determine access to basic necessities like bathrooms, changing rooms, dressing rooms, and the like - we do not belong because we are trying to enter gendered spaces with the “wrong” genitals attached to our bodies. Because access to public spaces is gendered, and because that gendering process is mediated through your genitals, it’s not just our identity being called into question but our ability to be human beings in public space. Our genitals are the site of metaphysical societal anguish over the nature of gender itself. Those are some pretty high stakes!
If someone prefers some sets of genitals over others, that is not an automatic comprehensive condemnation of their moral character vis a vis trans issues - it is, however, if the way they articulate that preference is indistinguishable from transphobic rhetoric, and if you step two paces in any direction you will encounter crowds of people doing just that.
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olderthannetfic · 2 years
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How does one get out of such a cult-like group as with said bnf? Sorry, may not be the most appropriate venue, but you are also the only one I know of entertaining such.
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Usually, it starts by them waking up and then reaching out for help.
I think many people in a cult-like or abusive situation see someone else's personal account and go "Wait... why does this seem so familiar? Oh shit!"
It isn't always even the same type of toxic thing: A description of an abusive family wakes someone up about their religious group, or a documentary on people leaving self help cults makes someone take another look at their family dynamics.
But very often, they don't wake up right away. Some external force separates them from the person who's warping their thinking. Perhaps they're thrown out or perhaps they try to walk across the border to Canada and are firmly but politely turned away and then forced to call their estranged family. (Seriously, read kumquatwriter's account. It's fucking wild.)
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If you're asking me for actual concrete advice for yourself, then it depends whom you're trying to rescue.
Rescuing other people rarely works. How far are you willing to go? How much of a right do you have? Kumquatwriter's mother spent years saving money and talking to a therapist, preparing to swoop in the minute the abuser's hold finally faltered, but that's something you do for your child, not your casual internet friend.
Most of the time, if your friend falls in with a bad crowd, you need to cut them loose and leave them to it.
If you're asking about you yourself, then you're not in this same situation at all. Nobody asks about this until the scales have already fallen from their eyes.
If this is what you're after, then I'm guessing the problem is that you have sucky friends, but they have blackmail material on you, and you're afraid to leave because they'll retaliate. The first thing to do is to assess the level of real world danger and take steps to neutralize it. (That would be if they know your employer's phone number or something.) What you should do depends on what kind of dirt they have on you.
If you live with a cult... uh... there are nonprofits that help deal with that kind of thing and I think your problems are above my pay grade, but there are organizations out there that will help you escape. I'm guessing you wouldn't have phrased things as above though.
If the danger is more to your emotional well-being, your online friendships, your fandom reputation, etc., as is commonly the case, then that's emotionally painful but far less complex. You can either slowly withdraw, perhaps using "school's busy" or something as an excuse, or you can burn your current fandom identity and make a new one.
I'd change fandoms for a while if your old friends are really nasty. Turn off anon everywhere. (Actually, most people should do that. Clearly, I don't, but for most people, it's the smarter choice.) In fact, wherever you can, turn on those options where only people you follow can interact with you.
Not relevant to the recent events but highly relevant to many toxic fandom friendship situations: If you've been part of a pack of bullies and/or publicly espoused ideas you now find abhorrent, it's time for a new identity and a fresh start.
Culty shit tries to convince you that outsiders are all Mean and Scary, and one of the first steps is realizing that many people are perfectly nice and won't judge you for being manipulated. But, at the same time, you don't actually owe the world a public performance of leaving the group, and it can be helpful to have a clean break.
Kumquatwriter had some in-person and money shit to apologize for, and I salute her for putting all that out there, but she also did that after some therapy and solid family support, and it took guts.
The vast majority of people who send me asks like this are guilty of no more than posting a few "Bad fiction harms people!" posts and hanging out with assholes in a discord, and most of them have a way worse support network. It takes a pretty robust individual to do their growing and changing in the public eye. In a lot of cases, simply starting over makes more sense.
What you primarily need is space and privacy and then, once you're on firmer ground, some new friendships with some healthier boundaries. Look up people talking about being "ex antis" if you want some examples of how this kind of thing tends to play out.
--
But yes, as I imagine you noticed, I tend to reblog fandom drama of this type because I want people to know what the patterns look like. It's a lot easier to quietly ghost toxic people once you know they're toxic than to figure out that your friend is not your friend in the first place.
I won't say I'm invincible. Nobody is. But my junior high was basically a cult, and it gave me an early inoculation against every creepy self help organization and fandom clique I've run across since.
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theninthdoor · 1 year
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jake || ideal type; tarot reading
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disclaimer: in my Ideal Type readings, I look into what the person in question is currently (consciously and unconsciously) attracted to! it's not necessarily their perfect match or the one they will end up with.
✦ Impression (What is seen externally // Might not accuratelly represent the person):
cards: seven of cups (strength), five of swords, king of wands
The first impression I get from his ideal type is of someone who everyone is curious about, but many won't even try to approach. This is a confident, action oriented and well rounded person with many acquaintances, who might even have a good number of different friend groups that they spilt their time between. However, they might not look necessarily friendly and approachable, as much as they look charismatic and fun to be around - this would be due to their commanding and self-assured image, which would turn a lot of people away from them. In addition, his ideal type can also come across as argumentative and domineering at times. In that sense, this would be the sort of person that wants to be in charge and tell their friends what should be done, what's right and what's wrong, etc. Really, it's not a case of them having bad intentions, it's just that they are overly confident in themselves and on their ideas, and may fail to see the same potential in other people.
✦ Personality:
cards: nine of wands (four of pentacles), two of pentacles (king of swords), seven of wands
Jake's ideal type is a person who shows a lot of courage, persistence and ambition. Whatever they set their mind to, they will achieve, no matter how hard it looks or how long it takes. It might even come to a point of stubborness, when they should just give up and leave it behind, but they have become so attached to that project, idea or activity, that they must finish it at all costs. Not only that, but they are also extremely defensive of their plans and ventures. If at some point they actually want to give up on those but know that people are already expecting them to do that, they will carry it through anyway just to prove them wrong. On the other hand, their courageous and tenacious nature also allows them to be capable of managing a lot of things at once. No matter what you through at them, they will make it their mission to succeed at it; and as they are intelligent and artful, they can easily adapt to any challenging situation.
✦ What his ideal type should provide in a relationship:
cards: nine of cups, queen of pentacles, ten of pentacles
First and foremost, Jake looks for someone who's trutsworthy and willing to seriously commit. This person should be grounded and generous, and think long-term when making plans for the relationship. His ideal type might also be someone who'd enjoy cooking for him and helping him out in practical ways. Essentially, instead of wanting a relationship that's full of adventure and excitement, he does seem to find a lot more satisfaction in a down to earth, stable and rather traditional type of union. Moreover, when things get serious, I do feel like he seeks for there to be a harmonious connection between his partner and his family. It could be just a matter of their values or backgrounds aligning, but it could also be the case of him wanting his family's approval of the relationship. Finally, his ideal type should also show a certain level of independence and maturity. He'd like for them to have their own goals and go out and work for the things that they want to achieve in life. This way, both parties could come into the relationship with a similar level of contentment and achievement, and no one would feel less than the other.
(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)
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Good evening once again, sir. You may remember me from literally yesterday. Anyways, I have entered your very presence once more as I'd like to share more of my fnati au with you, since last time went successful, and since only you and two other people actually acknowledge my au. Anyway, let's go.
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Here, we have the Steamboat Boys!!! (sorry for the poor image quality of the first pic)
Willie- Although he's only the janitor of the steamboat, he definitely asserts himself the "boss" around here, as he runs a secret drug business to make himself some big bucks, and usually likes to harass and bully Pete just to entertain himself. Willie is also very arrogant, cocky, and overall a big shot, which makes him think that he can survive anything. This has caused many incidents where Willie would try something stupid that risks his life, and Pete and Dippy would have to step in and save him. Willie also has a small side where he sometimes feels really guilty about his actions, but always hides it to keep the attitude that he's always had.
Pete- A large friendly cat who's the captain of the steamboat, Pete is usually the voice of reason for Willie's shenanigans and always tries to steer things in the right direction. He's also a big worrier, with him worrying and caring about the boat, himself, and everyone around. Because of this part of his personality, he often gets harassed, bullied, and abused by Willie, or atleast get slightly teased by Dippy, with the other two members usually calling names such as "Pussy Cat", or "Worry Whiskers". Pete is also rather insecure about himself, and doesn't know how to protect himself both physically, mentally, and socially.
Dippy- Dippy is sort of like the "middle child" of the group, with him being the guy to use the crane to lift cargo and goods onto the boat, while also struggling to keep an even balance with Willie's illegal business and ideas of "fun", while also trying to actually be a decent person and help and support Pete. Dippy also has a weird and bad habit, where he likes to break windows with all sorts of round-ish weapons, ranging from baseballs to solid rocks.
So yeah, what do you think of these three? Do you have any criticism or suggestions for them in mind at all? Again, I'm willing to take advice.
(also again, you definitely don't have to, but I think it would be cool to see these guys in your style. If you decide to do it, just do the one that's your favorite. If you want me to stop putting these request notes at the bottom btw, I can stop. I don't wanna make anyone mad, you know?)
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I'm mostly just poking fun but. I was not. expecting to read that going into my inbox?? Willie sweetie noooooo-
Also I don't mind you sending more about your AU! I think all your ideas are very interesting and the characters are very charming! And. chaotic- Sorry if I can't get to them right away though, I've got a lotta art in the works I'm meaning to post ^^'
Anyways though, Pete's my favorite hands down, he's the equivalent of wet paper and I love him for that, poor guy </3 Hope he can get better friends
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Reblogs > Likes, Thank You!
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oraclekleo · 2 years
Text
Jeon Won Woo (Seventeen) Relationship Role Analysis based on Tarot Reading
Hello and welcome!
I’m Kleo and I’m here to present some k-pop related tarot readings to you.
Disclaimer:
I would like to state that all these readings have a purely entertainment nature and their purpose is to bring some fun into my and hopefully yours lives. I have never ever met any of the idols / actors / celebrities in my readings, I don’t know them personally. Tarot reading isn’t an exact science and I can never guarantee any of it. Most of it is my intuition mixed with fantasy. Don’t take these readings seriously and don’t base any important decisions on tarot readings only, use your common sense.
If you wish to request a tarot reading, please read the pinned post on my profile first to see the instructions on how to request. I only do readings for idols / actors / celebrities of 18 years of age or older. Requests for readings including younger people will be automatically dismissed. If you feel uncomfortable with these tarot readings, do not engage in reading my posts. Thank you for understanding.
Reading Info:
Rating: 18+
Reading Type: Single - Couple
Requested: Yes - No
Deck: E. A. Poe
Spread: Relationship Role
Questions:
Friend
Boyfriend
Lover
Husband
One-Night-Stand
Full Name: Jeon Won Woo
Stage Name: Wonwoo
Group: Seventeen
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╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
Jeon Won Woo
Wonwoo – Seventeen
Spread: Relationship Role
Deck: E. A. Poe
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Friend - Knight of Wands, 8 of Swords
When it comes to friendship, Wonwoo is likely to be the fun, warm-hearted friend with plenty of ideas for adventures. He’s got that never dying positive energy within himself, the flame of passion in his heart that can melt any worries or blues. He’s likely to drag his friends into trouble many times.
✮ .   . ° ☆ . °¸ . • ✮  . •
Boyfriend - V The Hierophant, XXI The World
In the boyfriend role, Wonwoo is the leader and dominant force. He expects his significant other to respect him. He’s likely to present himself as an expert on dating. He truly enjoys all the traditions coming with the dating stage of the relationship and will follow the metaphorical cook book of dating most diligently. It doesn’t matter if his significant other doesn’t like roses, she will get them for a year of dating anyway because that’s the right way to do it for Wonwoo.
✮ .   . ° ☆ . °¸ . • ✮  . •
Lover - XX Judgement, Ace of Swords
Wonwoo is a rather epic lover. He’s got the skills, he’s educated on a variety of techniques and what’s more important, he’s more than eager to expand his knowledge further. No position is too acrobatic, no toy can put him off. He’s determined, strong-willed, focused and meticulous. Wonwoo has no trouble learning all the sweet spots by heart quickly and then playing them in the right sequence like a virtuoso.
✮ .   . ° ☆ . °¸ . • ✮  . •
Husband - 2 of Swords, 10 of Cups
Marriage is likely to be a big step for Wonwoo. He will consider all pros and cons before saying his “I do”. Once married, Wonwoo is the sweetest, loveliest and most adoring husband ever. Nothing is impossible for him, he’s going to cover his spouse in endless love and admiration. He shares all the good and supports through hardships. He’s thoughtful and truthful. He creates a home filled with bliss, happiness, harmony and comfort.
✮ .   . ° ☆ . °¸ . • ✮  . •
One-Night-Stand - Knight of Pentacles, Page of Wands
Wonwoo sees nothing bad about one night stands as long as they serve his needs. If he feels like hooking up with a stranger, he becomes the true charming beast. He’s methodical like a panther on a hunt, he watches his prey and approaches it slowly but steadily. Wonwoo flashes a few smiles, casts a net of sweet fun talk over his victim and before they know it, they are following him anywhere like hypnotised.
✮ .   . ° ☆ . °¸ . • ✮  . •
Thank you for reading!
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