HII UHMM I KNOW I KNOW BUTT CAN YOU MAKE ANOTHER JEALOUS CHRIS ONEE.. LIKE I LOVE IT SM . AND I KNOW THE BF AND THE READER BROKE UP BUT PLEASEE.
texts w/ jealous! chris (p3)
chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: smutttt, masturbation, use of dildo, cursing, reader is in a toxic relationship, squirting
**could be cheating depending on how you view it. iâm not promoting cheating in the slightest, this is fiction. please do not cheat on anyone.
a/n: previous part
CHRISâS POV
i stared at the set of numbers in confusion.
why did she send me her birthday?
once i saw the text she sent after that, it clicked.
she gave me her my eyes only password.
my fingers moved quicker than my mind could process, as i logged into her snapchat account.
once i was granted access, i immediately swiped up, clicking on my eyes only.
i typed in the password, and the sight i was met with made my eyes widen.
i clicked on the first picture, eyes immediately being drawn to her body.
at first, the pictures werenât too crazy, just her in slightly revealing clothes.
they still drove me insane, though. her face was turned into a slight smirk, as though she was taunting me.
her clothing hugged her curves perfectly, showing off a minimal amount of skin.
with the next swipe, my heart dropped at the sound of a moan.
âfuckâ a sweet, low moan fell from her glossy lips.
the camera only showed her face, but the sounds of her fingers pushing in and out of her wet pussy could be heard.
the noise immediately went to my dick, making my already semi-hard on worse.
âoh shitâ she bit her lip as her face scrunched up in pleasure.
i began to palm my dick as i listened to the moans that fell from her mouth, wishing it was my name that she was moaning instead.
âyeah? wish that pretty dick was inside of me, huh?â
âfuck, yesâ i whispered in response, as though she could hear me.
my hips jerked up into my hand when my tip brushed against the fabric of my boxers.
âwish you were buried inside of my tight walls baby, iâd milk that cock for all itâs worthâ
âoh my godâ i moaned out.
seeing this side of her was shocking, and it made me want more.
âfuck, iâm so close!â she moaned out as the wet sounds increased in frequency.
her eyes rolled into the back of her head and her mouth hung open as she let out a pornographic moan.
just as the camera began to pan down, the video cut off, not allowing me to see anything further.
i swiped again, and this time, she held up a pink dildo.
my eyes widened and i immediately pulled down my pants and boxers, letting my dick slap my stomach.
she spit onto the toy, and took it into her mouth.
she pushed it in and out, moaning around it while staring at the camera.
she propped the camera up, allowing me to see her matching set.
it was a lacy, bright orange that made her skin glow.
she was sat at her desk chair, and quickly stuck the bottom of the dildo to her seat.
my hand wrapped around my dick, spreading the pre-cum around my tip.
i began to pump myself as she moved her panties to the side and sat on the dildo.
âholy fuck, holy fuckâ i groaned out.
i watched her boobs bounce in her bra, as she leaned back against the chair and grabbed them.
âfuck, you feel so good buried inside of me like thisâ
she spoke to the camera as though i was in the room with her, fueling my imagination.
i barely allowed myself to blink, not wanting to miss a single one of her movements.
she let out several choked out moans as she stuck her hand in her panties, rubbing her clit.
âughhhâ i groaned out as thick ropes of cum flew up and onto my stomach.
suddenly, she lifted herself off of the dildo.
âwant a better view?â she asked before she turned around, straddling the chair.
i kept my hands at my sides, gripping onto my chair in shock.
she moved her panties once again, before sinking onto the toy again.
she left me mesmerized, mouth hung open as i watched her ass move.
she lifted herself up and down, ass jiggling with every movement as her moans got louder.
âchris! chris! iâm gonna cumâ
she moaned my name.
not her boyfriendâs, mine.
she continued to moan my name as she lifted herself up and squirted onto the chair.
squeals and screams rang out from my phone as she gripped onto the chair, while her body shook uncontrollably.
i quickly swiped out of my eyes only, going back to the camera.
i started the timer for the video and propped my phone up against my desk.
i started to stroke myself again, picturing her face as she finished.
the only thing that could be seen in the camera was my face and the movements of my arm, as my dick was hidden under the table.
i looked at the camera, beginning to speak, âyou really think you can tease me like that and not receive any type of punishment?â i groaned out.
âsuch a fucking slut, screaming my name like thatâ i spoke as i sped up my movements.
âcouldnât even send it directly, had to make me find it ? if you want me, i wanna hear you beg for it maâ
i let out a long groan of her name as my cum shot out of me, coating my hand.
i brought my hand into view of the camera, showing off the sticky substance.
âlook at what you do to me, baby. if you want me, all you have to do is ask. you know where to find meâ i spoke before ending the video, and saving it to my eyes only.
when i finished cleaning up, i sent her a text.
check your my eyes only, baby.
make sure youâre alone ;)
ââââââ-
hope u like <33
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @gwenlore @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sturnsdior @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @stramboli4life @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @vib3swithanuk @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @rheaakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @abbie13sworld @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @sturns-posts @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn
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Let Me Describe Your Aura
Hello, I'm back again. I have this in my drafts for a very, very long time (since last year), and I have finally completed it. This was meant to be a short reading for Instagram, but well, it ended up longer than what I expected. Tho I posted it there, you can still read it here. Honestly speaking, this reading ended up quite different from what I've expected and I don't really know what I was hoping to get from this. Maybe colours? And vibes? No idea. But still, I hope you all enjoy the reading.
As usual, close your eyes, breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once youâve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.
Pile 1 Â Â - Â Â Pile 2
Pile 3 Â Â - Â Â Pile 4
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesnât resonate, itâs okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.
Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.
Pile 1:
For some reason, it gives me a very Uranus vibe? Itâs like youâre a person whoâs constantly on board with change as you constantly get involved in almost everything possible. You also give me the feeling that youâre⊠Not satisfied. You are not satisfied with a lot of things, especially with finances. Imagine the hierarchy of needs. Every time you fulfill one of them, you constantly seek to fulfill the other level.Â
Youâre constantly pushing yourself to achieve better and achieve more, but with this, youâre unable to have some form of balance and may have some conflicts with people you work with. I wouldnât really say itâs insecurity, but thereâs some form of fear and being ânot enoughâ for others that Iâm seeing here. Perhaps you come from a big family, and you feel that you have the responsibility to feed everyone and to answer to their needs as well as wants.Â
Thereâs an inner child in you that is trying to nurture yourself despite all the rush that youâre putting yourself through, sending you messages so that you can take a break from time to time. You not only receive messages, but you also send them out as well. Some (or perhaps, most) of you may like writing memos or notes for your loved ones.
Tl;dr: Instead of saying aura, I would say that thereâs this air of uncertainty that you bring with you. You wouldnât be called a wildcard, because thereâs still some elements of earth in you, aka a sense of stability. But still, many may wonder how to approach you without feeling threatened, I guess. For some of you, you may also have an air of authority, or maybe an RBF, hence the fear towards you too.
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Pile 2:
For some reason, the first thing Iâm picking up here is that you like to present yourself as mysterious? However, there is some secrecy involved here that Iâm seeing, and you may be good at redirecting conversations or attention to other people. Butterfly effect as well? Itâs like youâre fluttering away and not caring about what youâve done or what are the actions theyâll take.Â
You have swords and court cards here, and Iâm feeling that youâre that person, providing mental insight and stimulation to people around you. Just that there may be some concerns with how you present yourself, how you word yourself, and how people can be easily offended by you. Honestly, Iâd say that theyâre more offended to you as a person instead of your words or what you do. Itâs like⊠Theyâre threatened by your presence. Pile 1 makes people feel threatened by their nature, but for you, people are threatened by what youâre capable of bringing - an unwanted change. Itâs like seeing you will remind them of what theyâre lacking and how much comfort theyâll need to give up, and hence, you may feel like an outcast most of the time, feeling that you do not belong to anywhere.Â
Still, Iâd say, people who are close to you, especially your friends will find comfort in you. Youâre a good listener and will be able to provide valuable insights. Theyâll be glad that youâre on their team with whatever project youâre working on. If youâre ever interested in working on a collab, do it. Youâre meant for it.Â
Tl;dr: For you, your aura would be swords-ish, sharp but clear. You know how a sharp and strong sword can be used as a mirror? Yeah that. Thatâs you, reflecting the fear of others. Itâs difficult, but with time, I believe youâll be able to work along with it.
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Pile 3:
Hmmmm. Harmonious, Iâd say. Thatâs the first word Iâm picking up. I kinda have an image of an orange cat sleeping in the sun, probably the warmth, coziness and fuzzy feeling that it gives. You may have heard your friends or people around you describing you as a fun or sunny person, or that youâre like the sun, bringing warmth to people around you. You may also have a lot of passion projects and most of them are incomplete as of current, the same goes with how your life is right now too. Remember to continue whatever efforts youâre putting in. The rewards will come at unexpected times.
Another thing Iâm picking up is that you like to go along with the flow. Good things happen? Great! Not so nice things happening? Aww sheesh better luck next time. Kinda feeling. Or perhaps, this is what you portray yourself as. Iâm getting a weight on my chest eventho there are happy cards. Probably itâs because you put up that mask so that people around you wonât see the pain youâre in.Â
Vulnerability sounds like a theme that youâll need to explore, understand, and wield. It sounds difficult and probably painful, but it is needed for you to be able to understand the various facets of life. Youâre very perceptive, or perhaps, you have a gift in it. But then, to be able to utilize that skill of yours, youâll need to expand your knowledge base, experience the various emotions, look into all the tiny things that life has for you.Â
Tl;dr: Some may say that youâre a person of culture but you know youâre far from that. Still, people generally like you with how amiable you are, and how you put an effort to make people around you comfortable. However, people will not cross you because you have respect for yourself too. There may be some similarities to Pile 1 with the earthy energy here, so you may check out Pile 1 if youâre drawn to it as well, especially if you have Saturn energy.
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Pile 4:Â
A Chinese idiom came to my mind when I see this pile: äžäžæ äș. It means thereâs no quarrel or argument with the society, but it generally means a way of avoiding conflict in a passive way. As though you want nothing to do with the current world. Not sure if itâs correct to say that youâre disappointed with the society but thereâs some apathy in here, not having much hope with the people youâve seen.
With this, you may have decided to keep yourself closed from the people around you. Not to use strong words, but you may detest the world and build a utopia in your head, imagining a world that is ideal to you and the rules you live with. Majority of the cards here are in reverse, which explains the dejection and dissatisfaction Iâm feeling here. I am having problems in describing this pile and itâs making me scratch on my keyboard because of how Iâm unable to phrase words.
Still, despite all of that, youâre a very capable individual, especially with the King and Queens in your reading. You may have more feminine energy or may present yourself in a more feminine way than others, tho thereâs a chance of you rejecting it. People may come to you for help and advice not only because they trust you, but also your words are able to assure them that things will be alright.
You have quite a lot of resources on your hands, may it be finances/monetary resources, knowledge, or even network/connections, and you use them according to your needs and values. There may be some⊠Unconventional skills that you have. Iâm not sure what they are, but itâs up to you to figure out how you want to put them to good use.
Tl;dr: This pile is the most difficult pile for me to write as the energy is all around the place yet focused at the same time. Itâs very conflicting and confusing, which may be the aura that you exude. There is no clear definition of good or bad in this reading, but more of what you want yourself to be and how youâre going to work on it.Â
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What Is My Purpose Here On This Land
This is for all, but especially for those with existential crises. Weâve wondered what we are meant to do, do we have a purpose being on this planet, and many more questions continue to feed our brains.Â
Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: What messages does your weary heart need to hear? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once youâve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.
Pile 1 Â Â - Â Â Pile 2
Pile 3 Â Â - Â Â Pile 4
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesnât resonate, itâs okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.
Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck  (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.
Pile 1: The Rose
A card to represent you: The Chariot
One funny thing when I was shuffling this deck was that this card came out tumbling. It was like.. Upright, reverse, upright again. Iâm taking this as a sign.
You like taking the wheel. Youâve been through the ups and downs as you journey ahead, sometimes lacking direction, learning self-discipline throughout the process, learning the importance of strength and will, finding balance, and driving to where you are right now. Thereâs this determination that youâve gained from past experience, and youâre still driving ahead. A word of advice is to be aware of your own focus level, and to take a rest when youâre tired. The journey of life ahead is long, and itâs always alright to take a break now and then.
For some reason, I also feel some of you may be travelling right now, or intend to travel in the future. Make sure to prepare a proper itinerary and have emergency numbers saved!Â
1. What is my role here on earth? - The High Priestess
First word Iâm picking up is healing. Youâre the person who answers to the cries of help, being the Universeâs hands in providing aid to those who pray for it, to be that gentle beauty without losing your thorns. Youâre called to be the healing energy, to be the kindness that people need but may or may not deserve. Not to put a burden on you, but you probably tend to be kind and subconsciously heal or watch over those who need your help, even strangers, and even people who do not deserve those kindness. (Thereâs this nagging behind my head that reminds me of the people in Gotham who did nothing yet yells for help/salvation, instead of fighting and protecting their âlovedâ ones.)
2. Have I achieved it? - The Fool
Youâre only starting on this journey. Or maybe have yet to start on this journey. You probably realised this uhhh ability of yours very recently, or have only decided to really start doing something on it. See, realising this ability/skill doesnât mean you have to do something about it. You may realise your skill for art but not continue cultivating that skill. Itâs the same. Youâve probably stopped all those questions and try to take out that first step to do it. Youâre killing your doubt step by step, betting in yourself and trusting in yourself to do something entirely new. (Yes, ITZYâs Bet On Me is playing as I write this.)
3. How to achieve it? - The Sun
There are so many things embodied in this card: brightness, hope, ray of hope, and more to come. What Iâm feeling from this is mainly warmth, asking you to just be this Sun, to shine just as you are. Itâs gonna sound weird but imagine healing rays? Iâm cringing and having a weird face as I type this out.
But yeah, just be who you are, to continue doing what you do. Just know that your presence is like a walking energy-purifier, lifting up the spirits even by smiling to strangers or wishing them a good day. You can attempt to try doing something else, for example, being more active in volunteer work in nursing homes and shelters, playing a part in activist activities, or even taking up counselling courses to help people out. These are only some of the many ways that are available. Most importantly is that you do kindness with kindness, not to have any ulterior motives behind them.
4. Why do I need to do it? - Seven of Wands rx
The world is changing, more and more people are experiencing a feeling of defeat and overwhelmingness, including you. All are called to make a change, and this is your part in the pledge to make a change. We have arrived at a time of change, and actions need to be taken. People have been fighting among themselves, you may even have been having conflicting thoughts and contradicting beliefs. Peace has been taken away, and instead of fighting to get back that same peace, itâs time to recreate a new peace that will work for this new world. A new structure is needed, and youâre one of those first few people who are tasked to build things anew again.
5. What can I learn from it? - King of Pentacles rx
What youâll be learning is not only based on what youâve experienced, but from what youâve observed. You saw the fall of those who have been obsessed with earthly riches, those who have been paying attention to the materialistic realm, and have forgotten to nourish their soul and mental energy. The downfall was harsh and painful, reminding you that balance is needed in every aspect. From there, youâre gonna continue spreading kindness, letting the scars of the past be a reminder of what has happened, and how youâre gonna redirect the course of your energy.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Knight of Pentacles rx
Self-discipline will take you to a lot of places, and will also be able to take you to places that you thought you never wouldâve reached. This gift of yours, this purpose of your is not to let you be more spiritual, but to be more down to earth. Youâre supposed to be the bridge between the spiritual themes with the practical, existing world weâre living in right now.Â
From this, youâll also be able to get connected to your roots, your family, your ancestry, even get connected to your race. I hope I do not get into trouble with how I phrase myself here hshshs. But yâknow how colonialism has affected a lot of things, like religion and even language. I donât quite remember where I heard it, but Tagalog or Filipino, languages of the Philippines, have Spanish influence in it. Or how Christianity kinda replaced the other folk religions with how itâs being brought in. So yeah, youâll need to do the dissection to find out which was the original, which you wanna connect with. You define your own roots, and you take charge of it.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Tower
Whilst you dream, you clear your mind of all negativity and your spirit will be refreshed. With that, youâll charge ahead, doing everything you can until you feel that youâve changed the world. It sounds really idealistic, but if you need to remember the catastrophic energy that The Tower brings. The change is not gonna be small, and you canât do it alone. Youâll work ahead, without knowing how long itâll take. You then make friends on the way, working towards the same goal but with different tasks, slowly but steadily paving and painting a new path. Just like the straw that breaks the camelâs back, your tiniest effort shatters the restrictive and unhelpful rules that were oppressing the people.Â
Thatâs what youâre meant to be, thatâs what you can achieve. But I need to remind you that this self-fulfilment level differs for everyone. One can feel content by doing small things, while some want the satisfaction that comes with doing great things. They are all valid and powerful acts in their own ways, and no one can deny the effort and effect that comes with it.
Overall energy: The Fool, Ace of Pentacles
Overall, youâre called to take actions to start a new chapter of your life. Youâre the main character of your own story, youâre the one who decides how you want to paint your journey. However, whatever that youâre intending to do, remember to not do it alone. A solo trip is fun, but a journey? Itâs best to have people joining your cause to support each other. Remember that there are other animals in The Fool, cuz one is a guide and the other is a guard/support. The energy of rebirth and transformation comes heavily in this pile, and sometimes, it can destroy you in the process. Proceed with caution and with faith. We are praying for you as you travel.
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Pile 2: The Mirror
A card to represent you: The Sun
You attempt to be a person to bring warmth to people around you. The Sun shines warm lights, and thatâs something you enjoy as well. But sometimes, when anger gets hold of you, you tend to burn people around you, accidentally or on purpose. You donât really use the reason âI didnât mean toâ, because if you injure people, you totally mean it. Itâs probably due to them crossing your boundaries repeatedly, and you didnât want to hold back any longer. But still, the card wants to remind you of who you wanted to be. Do not let anger cloud the true you. Let out that anger at the right person, and go back to who you are, the warm and accepting you.
1. What is my role here on earth? - Judgement rx
I donât really wanna use the word here but youâre called to learn the karmic lessons in the past, may it be the current past or your past lives. There are times that you hold on to your values, yet the world continues to challenge you, which may have made you question what is the meaning of you being here, what do you need to do to get out of this cycle of unfairness. Instead of fighting it, itâs time for you to discard the mask of pride that youâve been wearing, and accept that unfairness is a part of life that you need to go through. Once there's acceptance, you can build a new structure (structure on how you go through problems, or building up new values or habits, or anything else that can help you).
Humility is what you need. And stay away from humiliation. These are two very different things. People taking credit over what you do is⊠Something you need to be aware of. But. If there are people out there who take credit over what you do yet accuse you of copying or shit like that? Fight.
2. Have I achieved it? - Seven of Pentacles
This is something that will take long to achieve it, but youâre still on the way. You probably have noticed this⊠Thing? That things have been unfair and that it is too tiring to live, and youâre somehow somewhat struggling through life. Sure, there are times that are fun, but you know that fun does not last long and once itâs time, you continue crashing the waves and pressure life gives you.Â
You feel like youâve been doing this forever, and things just donât seem that they are turning better. Have faith that it will. Belief is a skill that comes with birth, you just need to hold on to it, believing that things will resolve in the end. Which it will. The struggles will become lighter eventually, because hard work and effort pays off.
3. How to achieve it? - The Magician rx
There are some other untapped talents in you, and itâs time for you to unlock them. You need to be able to find them and develop them. Itâs not something you can easily access to, but itâs something youâll need to practise and to get good at, and then to use them wisely. This untapped skill of yours may be something spiritually related, with you standing in between humanity and spirituality.
You need to be aware to not fall into peopleâs traps, and to make sure that you do not manipulate others in the process. I feel that this pile may have some talents or skills in manipulation and deception (either youâre aware or not), but you can choose to not do so. Remember, if you choose to do so, there will be more things that youâll lose. The Magician talks about alchemy, where you use one thing to exchange for another of equal value.Â
4. Why do I need to do it? - Nine of Wands
Thereâs a resilience that you need to learn, encouraging you to pay attention to your rights, believe in yourself and defend your position or property. It is time to gather your experiences and life lessons, to reflect on what life has shown you. Thereâs this hint of spirituality that youâre also called to evaluate - to see what it has to offer in your life, to see how you can use this to make it another life lesson/asset of yours.
You need to remember that the process of learning can be difficult and challenging, but you can also make it fun, make it lighter. Unlike in school, where you learn without passion (for most people), you are now learning new things because youâre interested in it. So yeah, learn through playing and experimenting, celebrate each growth and resilience youâve unlocked. I hope Iâm making sense here.
5. What can I learn from it? - Four of Cups
I doubt that many who pick this pile are happy with meditation, but this is one thing youâll be learning. Thereâs a need to reevaluate yourself, and realigning values within you. Iâm having some difficulties in forming my words, because it feels like your pile already knows about this, but in some sense, refuse to do this, refuse to acknowledge this. Youâve probably heard a lot of this kinda talk, where you need to do this and that to achieve that enlightenment. You really didnât like that, and you still donât like it.Â
Yet, this is needed. You need to go through a long while of silence, a time of reflection, to make changes and to be reborn again. Itâs difficult, you may cry again and again, because youâve been in darkness for so long, slowly giving up on whatever ways are out there. Know that it canât be any darker than this, and itâs also a chance for you to recognise light, and to embrace that light.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Five of Cups rx
You have to accept pain has been crucial in your growth, and walk away from it. Itâs time for you to move on, and youâll find yourself to be more⊠Accepting? Acceptance is a huge theme in your reading, where you acknowledge that this has happened, and you accept it, and then move on with life. As long as you accept something has happened, that weight will be slowly lifted away from your shoulders. You wonât be able to move when youâve been crushed by all those unhappiness (or even happiness) that youâve been holding onto. Focus on wholeness, learn how to take things up and put them down, continue on with the journey of letting go.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - The Hierophant
The Hierophant is often related to religion, and it being paired with spirituality speaks even more so. Iâm not saying that achieving enlightenment (donât mistake it with the Buddhist term, please) IS fulfilling for you, but it is one step to achieve what you wanted - release. Lifeâs burdens have been pulling this pile down, and what you want the most is release, release from responsibilities; release from fears; release from expectations; release from this endless cycle that has been trapping you. Youâll need to invite in a new thought to be released from what has been tying you down, and itâs time for you to be reborn again.
Overall energy:Â The Lovers, Eight of Cups
There are times where you need to make decisions between two choices that were offered to you. Oftentimes, you want to pick neither, but life decides it for you anyways. Either paths will lead you to where youâre meant to go, so why not stand still for now and listen to your life? Looking at it may be distracting, as there are a lot of worries and neon lights around. Make a cup of drink, sit down, put on your earphones and play some soft music. You might be able to hear something.Â
One thing I have to mention is that thereâs a heavy Pluto and karmic energy Iâm sensing from here. Itâs like⊠A huge circle, a cycle, where things happen again and again. Youâll need time (and a lot of time) to complete this cycle, only then you can break free from there. Some may feel dejected, but do remember that every step youâre taking right now is bringing you closer to the end. The Mirror is also here for you to reflect, to see who you are, and to see who you are Inside.Â
Make this promise that youâll be kind to yourself, appreciate each step that youâre taking and celebrate the small wins.
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Pile 3:Â The Key
A card to represent you: The World
This pile is giving me a very comforting and secured energy. Paired with this card, those who picked this pile may have completed a project, or have achieved one of their goals in life, or are close to closing an existing project with success. You may also be one of the fixed signs (Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio) or have them in your personal planets.Â
Another thing Iâm picking up is that some of you may be looking out for new projects to start when you havenât reached the end of the current project. Take a step back, do not rush into things quickly. Sure, an end speaks of a new beginning, but you need time to plan a proper project and to recuperate from the exhaustion of the previous project.
1. What is my role here on earth? - Three of Swords rx
Iâm seeing more of a guide here. You have been through difficulties in life, and from those, youâve gained experiences, insights, knowledge and wisdom. With that, youâre tasked to guide the rest who are going through a hard time this round. Itâs difficult because kindness isnât something everyone is equipped with, and for you, especially, you may find it a lil bitter. This is where you challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, to try something that youâve never thought of, or even detest. But you gotta do it as the path you step on is the road to growth and illumination.
2. Have I achieved it? - Knight of Wands
You're charging towards it, albeit a lil reckless. You do have the passion in it, and youâre more than willing to be the change, even wishing that the change is something that can change the world. You canât wait to experience the storm and thunder, wanting to feel the same scale of impact.Â
However, you need to remember that passion can dissipate quickly, like how it started. There might be transits in your life, maybe Mars is transiting one of your personal planets right now, which gives you that impulse of wanting to achieve something. You are in control of your response, but the actions of other people and events are not. Do not be dejected when people reject you, but continue ahead without that recklessness.
3. How to achieve it? - Ten of Swords
You will be able to achieve it by going through defeats. Youâre one who learns through actual defeats, the pain, remembering the falls of life through your body and soul. From there, only then you can compile those youâve learnt and observed into a book, for your own and otherâs references. At this phase, you may feel pulled between one path or another, and pushed to make a decision. It can be quite tense, but donât avoid it. These tense situations build your strength, getting you ready to fly. Do not bend; do not submit defeat, continue ahead to chase after your ideals. Let that resolution and will to be your light.
4. Why do I need to do it? - Two of Wands rx
Thereâs a fear in you, not knowing what you are meant to achieve. This could be a personal goal for you to focus throughout your lifetime, building yourself up, giving you an unnamed courage to find your inner power. I feel that you may have subconsciously (or maybe consciously) compared yourself to people around you, wondering where in life you are, what youâre meant to do.
To counter that, you need to set a personal goal, to have some sort of inner alignment, and figure out what you want to achieve. Do you want to appear as a confidant people turn to? Are you keen on sharing thoughts and experiences to make peopleâs lives a lil bit easier? Try taking a notebook and writing your goals down, and see what you need to do, or what you should stop doing to achieve that. Itâs time that you activate a certain switch in you to be that fire (either to warm or to destroy. Itâs up to you).
5. What can I learn from it? - The Hierophant, Ace of Pentacles
I feel that you may be even able to start something, maybe a support group or a club, especially in a religious context. Thereâs some form of finances involved in it, so yeah, maybe a support group where you guide others, and others guide the others, and let the leaves of the tree expand. Finances will be involved in terms that there are donations coming in, which you may use to assist those who are financially needy.Â
Youâll be able to accept this new side of yours, and be more willing to reach out your hands because you could physically see how this chain of kindness continues on, holding on more hope that things can actually change for the better.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Judgement
It is time for you to reevaluate your life, what meanings you want to fix to your life. There may be a calling to change your life or open your heart to new possibilities, to new responsibilities or a new field of work. The horn in this card symbolises that there may be a wake-up call from the world around you, telling you that itâs time to stop being in your head, to see the world for who it is, and how youâre supposed to make changes, or answer to those changes. Change can refer to something tangible and immediate, or the whole way one sees life. In fact, you may have already changed without realising it.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Five of Cups rx
Thereâs a release from pain and suffering. The pain and suffering does not necessarily mean something physical, but something thatâs more on a spiritual level. Yâknow how sometimes one can feel⊠Empty and blank? That. That is actually suffering on a spiritual level, because you have no direction, no guidance, and sometimes that could feel suffocating. Some out there could just go along with life even though they have no idea what to do, and itâs cuz their direction of life is to go along with what the journey has to offer. What youâre doing right now is just standing there and looking blankly to where your eyes are looking, which increases the weight in your chest and legs.Â
Through this, youâll be able to find a proper direction and the awakening that comes with it will elevate you. Walking again after youâve been standing so long will be uncomfortable at first, but take small and steady steps. Youâll find yourself running again soon.
Overall energy:Â The Star, Four of Swords
This reading talks about hope and rest, and how they come hand in hand. I felt a weight on my chest as I was typing the self-fulfilment part, because of how heavy the desperation and feeling of loss is. Know that The Star is shining a gentle ray of hope, consoling you that things will be better. The Star may not be visible all the time, especially in the daylight. But know that she is always there, and you can hear her whispers in the night, when you think youâre about to fall.
Be kind to yourself and share your beauty as well as knowledge with those around you. But remember to take rests as well. You canât afford to do much when youâre having a burnout. Itâs alright to fall, but remember to rest and stand up again. Your passion is your greatest drive, go for it.
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Pile 4: The Word
A card to represent you: The Magician rx
I feel like youâre currently standing in the middle of two different things, two very different and distinct fields (like science vs arts, realism vs spirituality), not knowing where to head to. Thereâs some sort of pull from both of them and youâre feeling very, very torn.Â
However, remember that the Magician is someone that has a lot of skills, and has been acting as the bridge between the physical plane and the spiritual realm for a long time. You, also, have the skills to bridge between the various fields/things that are scattered across. As the bridge, you can see the connecting and overlapping points, and you can build out from there. You honour differences and expand.
1. What is my role here on earth? - Two of Swords rx
Your role is to take out the blinds that were covering the peopleâs eyes, including yours. You are called to stop them from hiding or shying away from the truth, making them see what is the truth, calling them to face reality. For some reason, I feel that you may have not been very liked at home due to this nature. Your parents may think that their reputation or status as parents should not be challenged, but you couldnât care less about it. What you cared about was that justice and truth be upheld, and you wonât hesitate to rip anyone apart if they tried saying otherwise. This, in turn, has created quite a huge confrontation when you were growing up. But are you stopping there? No. You will continue your role of wake up call, but only once or twice. Youâve understood that there are always people out there who want to run away from the truth, and youâre not gonna waste your effort and time on them.
2. Have I achieved it? - The Chariot rx
Youâre currently in a fallback. You took a step back to look at the options available and to reevaluate the situation. You realise that you were having a narrow goal and vision tunnel, which will cost a lot of meaningless sacrifice. You may have thought that it was okay to let your horses run without holding the reins, but now is not the time. Youâre now evaluating and weighing the pros and cons, which are the items that you want to invest your time and energy on, finding out where your passion lies. A word of advice: Do not be afraid to try multiple things. Nothing is fixed in stone. Just like you may discover a new favourite dish later, you may also discover a new skill that is useful.
3. How to achieve it? - Page of Cups rx
First of all, you need to kill your doubts and fears. Fear is one main thing thatâs stopping you from trying new things in different fields. There are always new things out there waiting for you to try, there are new opportunities that canât wait to come to you. Being protective of your own energy is important, but you need to get out at times, to talk to people, to learn their ideas and train of thoughts, to see things from their point of view. This way, instead of tearing down the blinds covering their eyes, youâll be able to verbally convince them to take the blinds down themselves, which is a much gentler way. Be honest and true, even to your fears. Accept them, and they might reward you with something special.
4. Why do I need to do it? - The Fool rx, Knight of Pentacles
Iâm seeing some form of heavy responsibility here. You are not tasked to enjoy or to have fun, but to be like a defender, a protector, even a fighter or truth. Unlike The Fool, who goes on new journeys having fun, you are stationed at a place, guarding the gates, making sure those who enter are those who have earned it. This responsibility is not randomly placed on people, but it chooses those who vow to bear witness to the truth. Obligation is a word thatâs also relevant here, where youâre also willing to bear this duty. Not sure if youâre doing this because you want the truth to be known or you just wanna spite people by forcing them to look at their wounds. Itâs all up to you.
5. What can I learn from it? - Page of Wands
Itâs like⊠A stone egg hatching. You thought that it was a stone, from its rough and hard exterior. But in reality, itâs actually a dragon egg. You learn that miracles happen in various forms, and that one really needs to think of the various possibilities and potentials you hold, even the ones that sound impossible. Itâs alright to fail, itâs alright to fall, as long as you continue to climb up and attempt, youâll be able to see the glory thatâs arriving your way. Glory is a huge word but it is what it is. Stop losing focus and get that glory in your hands.
6. How am I supposed to transform from it? - Eight of Pentacles
You can transform into a gem by polishing and honing your skills. If I were to compare and describe, Iâd say that youâre a jade as compared to other stones out there. It takes a skilled master to recognize the green under the hard and dusty exterior. Now, youâre that skilled master, and youâre gonna trim and polish the rock to reveal the gentle green in it. It can only be done little by little, and repeating the process until you see that gleam of green.
And thatâs what youâre gonna do. Youâre gonna polish your skills day by day, night by night. Repetition of the task can sound mundane but thatâs needed for you to be able to gain precision. This precision can be used in a lot of places, such as knowing the fine line of breaking the truth harshly or choosing to not say a single thing. Sometimes, people have their pride, and that precision will be able to help you to observe which line to cut, where to stop.
7. What is the self-fulfilment level? - Ten of Swords rx
Through this, Iâd say that youâll be able to let go of the past hurt that you have. There is a lot of anger and pain, especially when you recall how you were treated unfairly. You werenât in the wrong, but you still get attacked. Now, youâve learnt how to see things from their side and handle them properly, youâre now able to move on from that anger. Itâs difficult, but at least, that chapter of your life is ending. You can close that book, and move on to the second book of your trilogy.
Lifeâs a journey, make the rest of it worthwhile.
Overall energy: The Star, Seven of Cups (Strength hidden behind that keeps wanting to show up)
The Word in this picture is Love. Redirect that love to yourself, allow hope to shine on you, and accept that gleam of hope. Opportunities are coming, but you need to learn how to differentiate them from the illusions or wishful thinkings youâve made. Fret not, you have the strength, the power to discern them according to your inner code of morale. You have what it takes, so practice courage each day. Thereâs a new you in the future thatâs waiting for you. They seem eager, and prepared to take you onto a new journey, to see the new sceneries that come along with it.
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Thank you for reading!
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