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punkshort · 5 months

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i'll be home for christmas | part two

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Having just caught your fiancé cheating on you, you decide to come back home from the big city to Austin for the month of December to try to figure out your next step. You had no idea you would be getting more than you bargained for with the handsome single dad who built your parents' house.

Chapter Warnings: no outbreak, modern day but Joel is 40, language, fluff, very soft!joel, flirting, kissing, hallmark movie tropes up the wazoo, mentions of infidelity, mentions of divorce, reader's sister is pregnant, hurt/comfort, explicit smut (18+MDNI), (somewhat) unproteced piv sex, angst (but you know there will be a happy ending, this is Hallmark, after all)

WC: 12K

A/N: I am so overwhelmed at the response I received for part one. No contest, it's my most successful story to date, and I can't thank you all enough ❤️ I really hope you enjoy this part just as much. Please read the warnings, this has some (very sweet and soft) smut at the end, so if it isn't your thing, feel free to skip it.

Series Masterlist

Joel sat in his truck, the engine long cooled down by now, as he stared blankly at his garage door, waiting for the stupid grin to leave his face before he went inside to face his brother. But he had been sitting there for almost twenty minutes, and he was still smiling behind the back of his hand.

That date with you was perfect. Well, he could have done without getting knocked on his ass by some kid, but it worked out for him in the end, so he didn't mind.

Goddamn, did you make him feel good. There was no way he would be able to sleep that night, he was sure of it. Not after the way you looked at him, touched him, kissed him. A big part of him wondered for a long time if he would spend the rest of his life alone, believing that lightning doesn't strike twice, that he would never find anyone who would look at him and want him the way you did.

He ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that reminded him you didn't live there, that you would be going back to New York in a couple short weeks. He couldn't let that bring him down just yet, that was a problem for another day. Right now, his only problem was resisting the urge to drive back to your house and scoop you up in his arms so he could make you feel as good as he felt.

It was close to midnight, so he caved and went inside, hoping his brother would be too groggy to interrogate him. When he walked in and saw Tommy and Sarah lounging on the couch, wide awake and watching some action flick, his face fell.

"Hey, it is way past your bedtime, the hell are you doin'?" Joel scolded, sliding off his boots.

"Dad, c'mon, it's the weekend," Sarah whined.

"Don't care, you know the rules," he told her, trying to sound firm, but he had such a soft spot for her that he never succeeded in sounding threatening.

"But it's a special occasion, I wanted to hear how your date went," she grinned, sitting up and wiggling her eyebrows. Joel's jaw dropped and shot a glare at his brother while stretching his arms out at his side in disbelief.

"Oh, come on, she practically dragged it outta me," Tommy smirked.

"Unbelievable," Joel muttered, collapsing on the end of the couch and rubbing his eyes.

"So?" Sarah pushed, tucking her legs underneath her excitedly.

"I ain't talkin' about this with you," he said, biting his cheek as he stared at the TV.

"Why not?" she pouted, but Joel just shook his head.

"Go brush your teeth," he said.

"Fine," she replied, rolling her eyes as she made her way to the stairs. "But I'll get it out of you one day."

She stomped upstairs and it wasn't until Joel heard the water running that he turned to his brother.

"What the hell, Tommy? You know I didn't want her knowin' about that," he said, exasperated.

"Oh, relax," Tommy said, stretching his arms above his head. "She's sixteen, Joel. She's smart. She figured it out herself, I just confirmed it after gettin' the third degree."

Joel sighed and tipped his head back onto the sofa, closing his eyes.

"Christ," he muttered.

"What's the big deal?"

Joel sat up and opened his eyes.

"Big deal is, she lives in New York. There's no future there, we were just hangin' out, and I don't need Sarah gettin' her hopes up," Joel explained, trying to downplay his feelings, but his chest squeezed at the thought of you leaving one day.

"Ever hear of long distance?" Tommy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"That never works," Joel replied, shaking his head.

"Well, maybe you should make it work," he said, sitting up and muting the TV. "You know, Sarah just wants you to be happy, Joel. We both do," Tommy said somberly. "Told me tonight she's worried about you bein' all alone when she goes off to college."

"I'll be alright," he said gruffly, although the same thought was plaguing his mind recently, as well.

Tommy stared at his brother a moment as Joel watched the TV, pretending to follow the story even though there was no audio. He decided to drop it for now and changed the subject.

"So, you gonna tell me how it went or what?"

Joel bit his lower lip, trying to keep himself from smiling, but he failed. Tommy noticed right away and grinned, leaning forward to tap his knee.

"I know that look," he said, still grinning.

"Yeah, alright," Joel finally said with a smile. "It was great. Really fuckin' great."

"Hell yeah!" Tommy yelled, and Joel immediately shushed him, pointing upstairs.

"She's funny and she's sweet, we had a real nice time," Joel said, his grin permanently etched on his face now.

"I figured it went well since you got home so late," Tommy replied with a wink.

"I ain't gonna sleep with her on the first date," he whispered, just in case Sarah was listening. He settled back into the couch as Tommy turned the TV volume back on, letting the movie play for a minute before adding, "She's a good kisser, though."

"Oh, I can't wait to meet this girl," Tommy chuckled with a shake of his head. "Haven't seen you smile this much in years."

"Yeah, well," Joel replied noncommittally, still smiling like an idiot and staring at the TV. He decided to stay downstairs that night, finishing the movie and then starting another one on the couch long after Tommy left, unable to quiet down his mind long enough to fall asleep until nearly three in the morning.

You woke up the next day, stretching your arms above your head with a big yawn, not ready to get out of bed yet but the voices downstairs told you it must have been late. With a groan, you reached over and snatched your phone off the charger. When you saw you had a text waiting for you, your heart skipped a beat until you read Sydney's name and not Joel's. Your eyes flicked to the top of the screen, noting it was close to ten in the morning, before sliding open the text.

Sydney: sorry forgot to reply yesterday. I saw will at black & blue, he was hammered and falling all over the place

You scowled, not interested in whatever your ex was up to, so you replied with just the thumbs up emoji and set your phone back down.

Staring at the ceiling, you dreamily thought about your date with Joel. God, he really took you by surprise. You were proud of yourself for taking that first big step forward and putting yourself out there again, but you had no idea it would feel like this. You weren't even sure you ever felt like this with Will. Even when things were good, Will never treated you the way Joel did last night. He was so earnest and respectful, opening doors for you and actually listening to you talk about work. And he didn't even try to feel you up, either, although you probably wouldn't have minded. Maybe it was those Southern manners you were missing this whole time.

With a groan, you dropped your phone back on the nightstand and swung your legs over the edge of your bed, wrapping yourself in your robe, still not expecting it to be so cold in Texas. Even though it was December, it was unusual.

You made your way into the kitchen and made a beeline for the coffee, tossing a wave in the direction of your parents sitting with your sister and brother in law in the living room.

"She lives!" Cassie exclaimed with a smug look on her face. You held your mug up to your lips and blew on the liquid, frowning when the whole family was looking at you with matching, goofy smirks.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" your mom asked innocently. You squinted at her as you sat down, not buying it.

"How was your date?" your sister asked. You took a sip of coffee before replying.

"Good," you said simply, nodding your head. Your mom and dad exchanged a look and you frowned again, getting annoyed.

"What?" you asked loudly.

"Nothing!" your dad said, looking back down at his newspaper. Who even still gets the newspaper delivered anymore, anyway?

"Josh, what's going on?" you asked your sister's husband, knowing he was the weakest link. He glanced nervously between you and Cassie.

"They saw you and Joel on the Ring camera," he blurted out, and your family all groaned in unison. Your face flushed beet red, gawking at them all in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?" you screeched.

"We didn't mean to, Bucky. Dad was reviewing the footage because he couldn't find the newspaper this morning and, well..." your mom trailed off, trying to hide her smile.

"Oh my god," you whined, tucking your legs to your chest and hiding your face.

"Looked like the date was a little more than good," Cassie teased, and you smacked her on the leg.

"I can't believe this," you mumbled to yourself, hiding your face behind your coffee mug and praying someone would change the subject. "How much did you see?"

"Just from when he pulled in the driveway til when you went inside," your mom said with a shrug.

"That's, like, everything, Mom! Oh my god!" Your face was hot with embarrassment now.

"He looks like a good kisser, is he a good kisser?" Cassie asked.

"Shut up!" you whined, covering your face with your free hand.

"There's nothin' to be embarrassed about, he was a gentleman. Held the door open for you and everythin'," your dad murmured, and you groaned.

"Can we talk about literally anything else, please?" you begged.

"Of course!" your mom said, her eyes flicking around the room, waiting for someone to say something, but nobody spoke.

"I'm sorry, Buck, but you gotta see the the smile on his face after you went inside, it was so cute," Cassie said, pulling out her phone.

"I'm going upstairs!" you announced, jumping up from the couch.

"Wait! Are you still coming by later to help paint the nursery?"

"I don't know, are there any cameras there?" you shouted over your shoulder as your climbed the stairs with your coffee to hide in the sanctity of the guest bedroom.

"Well, no. Only because I haven't set the baby monitor up yet," Cassie called back and giggled when she heard you slam your door.

Grumbling to yourself, you flopped back into bed and picked up your phone, looking for a distraction from your embarrassment. You quickly found one when you saw you had a missed text from Joel.

Joel Miller: Question for you - when is the earliest you should text someone without looking too pathetic after you've had the best date of your life?

You grinned as you typed out a response.

You: answer - whatever time you sent this text :)

Joel Miller: Oh, good. Thought I scared you off, sent that about ten minutes ago.

You: sorry, I was downstairs talking to my family, forgot to bring my phone. And I don't think you could ever scare me off

You almost told him about the doorbell camera fiasco, but decided against it. Picking up your mug, you tried not to stare too hard at your phone as you waited for a reply.

Joel Miller: What are you doing later?

Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing him again so soon, then quickly stopped yourself, remembering your promise to your sister.

You: I told my sister I would help paint the nursery...

Joel Miller: That's a shame. I was hoping you could teach me something again.

You: oh? lol

Joel Miller: I just realized how that sounded - I meant wrapping Christmas presents for Sarah. I'm awful at it and I have another hunch gift wrapping is a secret talent of yours.

You giggled and rolled over in bed, your embarrassment long forgotten now.

You: you might be right... how about tomorrow?

Joel took the porch steps two at a time, eager to see you again and it hadn't even been a full two days. His finger barely pressed the doorbell when he heard your voice call out I got it! and the door swung open. You smiled up at him, your eyes lighting up before dropping your gaze to his mouth.

"Hi," you said breathlessly.

"Hey," he replied, swallowing roughly.

"Have a nice time, Bucky!" your mom's voice rang out somewhere behind you as you shut the door quickly. Joel grinned, his gaze drifting from your eyes to your mouth before leaning in. You put your hand on his chest and tilted your head back before grabbing his hand and leading him to his truck. Confused, he followed behind and tried not to stare too long at the way your jeans perfectly hugged your ass.

You led him to the passenger side of the truck, but when he reached out to open the door, you snaked your hand up to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling his face down for a searing kiss only when you were sure you were hidden from view.

"Would I sound crazy if I said I missed you?" you whispered.

"No," Joel replied, shaking his head and trying to calm his pounding heart. "Couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout you."

"Me, too," you admitted softly, gazing up at him with your beautiful eyes all wide and burning with desire.

He cradled your face in his calloused hand, the other flattened firmly against the truck door behind you as he stared into your eyes, fighting the urge to pick you up and wrap your legs around his waist so he could pin you against his truck and let you feel just how badly he missed you.

Then, you heard your dad's SUV unlock and your eyes widened in panic.

"Shit," you muttered. "We should go. I think they're heading out."

"Alright, maybe I should say 'hi' real quick," he said, pushing himself off the truck and letting his hand drop from your face.

"No! That's okay, we'll be stuck here forever if you do," you said hurriedly. He gave you a curious smile but agreed before opening the door for you and hopping into the driver's seat.

He waited until he backed out of the driveway and was heading down your street before shooting you a sideways glance.

"Everythin' okay?"

You sighed and rubbed your palms over your face before clearing your throat.

"So, remember the other night on the porch, after you dropped me off?"

He smirked and nodded.

"Yeah, I think I remember," he teased.

"Well," you began. "My family saw us on the doorbell camera the next morning," you cringed.

He laughed, throwing his head back just a bit so he could still keep an eye on the road, and shook his head.

"Oh, I hate those fuckin' things," he said, but he was still laughing.

You grinned, your nerves and unease dissipating quickly.

"You're not embarrassed?"

"Nah," he said with a shrug, then turned his head briefly to look at you. "I'm sure we put on a good show."

You giggled, your cheeks tinting pink, and turned your head to look out the window.

"Alright," he said after a minute. "I've waited long enough and I gotta ask."

You swiveled back towards him, waiting for him to continue.

"What's the story with the nickname?"

You groaned and squeezed your eyes shut.

"It's so unbelievably stupid," you said, but he shook his head.

"Well, now you gotta tell me."

"Fine," you said, rolling your eyes, but your playful smile gave you away.

"It's Buck, or Bucky. Short for Bucket," you began.

"Bucket?" he repeated, bewildered.

"I warned you it was stupid!" you protested, and he chuckled. "Anyway, when I was little, my sister and her friends had a sleepover one time, and I overheard them swearing."

"Okay," Joel said slowly, nodding along while he kept his eyes pinned to the road.

"I always looked up to my sister, I was like her shadow when I was younger. So, when I heard them swearing, I wanted to be like them, too, you know?"

"Yeah, I follow," he replied, still not sure how the story related to your nickname.

"Well, thing is, I misheard them. They were saying 'fuck it', but I heard 'bucket'," you explained. "So I went to school and, thinking I sounded cool, I would say 'bucket' to all my friends. We were little, they had no idea what I was talking about, so I explained to them it's a swear word. Before I knew it, I had the whole class saying 'bucket' any time someone dropped something, or got a bad grade on a test, or whatever."

Joel howled with laughter, gripping the steering wheel for dear life as he tried to make it safely into his driveway.

"The principal called my parents and told them what was happening," you continued, joining in and giggling. "They got me home, and-" you doubled over, clutching your stomach as Joel put the truck in park and slumped over the steering wheel, his body shaking as he laughed.

"And I had to tell them the whole story, about why I kept saying it and-" you wiped the tears from your eyes as you took a deep breath. "And - oh my god - my sister got grounded for two weeks-" Another fit of laughter washed over Joel, tears streaming down his face.

"Wait, wait," he gasped, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could turn to face you. "You got in trouble in school, and your sister ended up gettin' punished?"

"Yes!" you squeaked, still giggling.

"Oh, shit," he breathed, panting as he leaned the back of his head against the seat rest. "Can't believe you thought that was stupid. That's gotta be the funniest thing I heard in a long while."

"Well, I'm glad I could brighten your day," you said, still grinning.

He rolled his head back towards you, his soft gaze drifting up and down your frame quickly before stopping on your eyes.

"You really do, y'know," he said quietly, and you furrowed your brow, tilting your head in confusion.

"Brighten my day," he clarified.

You bit your lower lip and smiled, looking away as the flush began to return to your cheeks.

"Come on, charmer. Why don't we go teach you how to wrap presents?"

You never really gave much thought as to what Joel's house would look like, but once you saw it, it immediately felt like him. It was a smaller, two bedroom house. When you first walked in, you entered a living room with a leather couch and an oversized recliner. A big screen TV was front and center across from the couch, with a few framed pictures of Joel and Sarah mounted on the wall next to it.

"You want somethin' to drink?" Joel asked, making sure to slide the coat from your shoulders before shrugging off his own.

"Maybe just water," you said, following him into the kitchen. You gasped when you saw his cupboards and immediately rushed over to them while he pulled two bottles of water from the stainless steel fridge.

"Oh my god, Joel," you whispered, running your fingers gently over the designs. Each one looked different but somehow they all were cohesive. Some had small flowers or butterflies carved into the corners, while others had simple, yet intricate designs grooved into the wood.

"Had to practice somehow," he said, feeling his cheeks flush as he walked over to hand you your water.

"God, it's so beautiful," you said breathlessly, unable to look away from the dark, stained wood. Your fingers danced over some stars etched into one of doors, your eyes wide with awe, but he was focused entirely on you. He couldn't get enough of watching the delicate features on your face light up whenever you found something new that pleased you.

"How long does this take for you to do?" you asked, finally dragging your eyes away to look up at him. Your throat tightened when you noticed the heat behind his stare, your pulse fluttering in your neck.

"Depends," he murmured. "Some are faster than others, but I prefer to go slow and take my time. Anythin' worthwhile takes time. Gotta show it respect, gotta care for it."

His low and sultry tone made your face flush, forgetting for a moment you were talking about woodworking.

"Y-yeah," you stammered, clearing your throat. Suddenly, you were feeling short of breath. "That makes sense."

He gazed down at you for another moment, his eyes slowly raking over your face as if committing it to memory before speaking again. Your entire body felt hot, and you cursed yourself for wearing such a thick sweater.

"Ready to go upstairs?" he murmured, still staring at you in a way that made your spine tingle.

"Huh?" you whispered, completely entranced by his deep, brown eyes.

"The presents?" he reminded you with a small smirk.

"Oh, right," you said, finally blinking and looking away. You shakily opened your water bottle after he turned around to lead you to the stairs, your mouth suddenly extremely dry.

As you walked up the steps, you tried to get a look at the pictures that lined the wall, but it was difficult to do without tripping. You thought you had finally gotten your head on straight after that moment in the kitchen, but when you realized he was leading you to his bedroom, you felt the tremble return to your hands.

"Sorry, had to hide everythin' in my closet, she's too nosy," he said over his shoulder.

"No problem," you squeaked, trying not to stare at his neatly made bed. Your eyes briefly drifted over the end tables filled with personal effects. You thought you saw a chapstick, a cord for a phone charger, and a worn paperback book, but you didn't want him to catch you, so you looked away quickly.

He opened his closet and you were surprised to find his clothes packed away so neatly. For a bachelor, he kept a really clean house. He pulled out the bags of gifts from the shelf above his clothes, then the wrapping paper, which was leaning against the corner.

"D'you think we got enough room?" he asked, glancing around at the floor.

"Yeah, of course," you said, sitting down crossed legged on the carpet. You reached out for the wrapping paper and rolled it out in front of you as he sat down at your side, taking out her gifts one by one. You felt yourself involuntarily clench as you watched his large hands deftly lay out each item on the floor, his muscles twitching slightly under the tanned skin of his exposed forearms.

"I know what you're thinkin'," he said, and your eyes widened in surprise. "I spoil her, I know, but she's such a good kid, I can't help myself."

That was definitely not what you were thinking, but you chose to keep that to yourself.

"I think it's sweet," you told him. "You seem like a really good dad."

Now it was his turn to blush. He tried to turn his head away so you wouldn't see, murmuring his thanks as you each picked an item to start. After a quick tutorial, which included way too much tape and ripped paper, Joel finally seemed to get the technique down. It only took until about halfway through the pile for you to muster up the courage to bring up a topic you couldn't help but be curious about.

"So," you began, hoping you came off nonchalant. "Is Sarah with her mom this Christmas, or..."

Joel's fingers fumbled for a moment with the wrapping paper, but he quickly recovered.

"Uh, no," he replied, keeping his eyes cast down on the shoe box in front of him. "She's not in Sarah's life anymore."

"Oh," you said, unable to keep the surprise from your voice, but you didn't push him any further. Your mind was scrambling, trying to think of something else to talk about, when he sighed and leaned back, abandoning the gift.

"I'm sorry, this is all so new to me, I probably should've told you about her sooner," he said, feeling guilty, but you quickly shook your head.

"No, you don't have to-"

"I want to," he said, cutting you off. You clamped your mouth shut and turned your body so you could give him your full attention, leaving the hair dryer you were wrapping on the floor next to you.

He drew a shaky breath in and looked up at the ceiling before speaking.

"There's not much to say, really. I'm still not always sure what happened," he began. You nodded, staying quiet and letting him take his time. "We were together since high school, ended up stayin' together after graduation. Sarah was a surprise, we were both still so young but we made it work. It was hard, but once me and Tommy got the business goin', it made things a bit easier."

Your fingers tangled together in your lap as you listened, refusing to say anything until he was done. His gaze drifted towards a fixed point on the wall as he continued.

"From what I gathered, she felt like havin' Sarah so young robbed her from doin' certain things in life," he said heavily. "Said she couldn't do it anymore. Didn't want her life to pass her by and be full of regret."

You bit your lip. The pain was clear as day on his face and it was making your chest ache.

"Well, anyway. I thought maybe she would go off for a couple months, do whatever it was she thought she was missin' out on. Parties, college... other men," he added the last part quietly, and you dropped your gaze to the floor. "Get it out of her system, y'know? But she just... never came back. Eventually, the calls came less and less, and I put two and two together. Didn't even get a courtesy call before I got served with the papers."

He rubbed his eyes, trying so hard not to look like a blubbering idiot in front of you. You reached your hand out and placed it gently on his knee, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He dropped his hand from his face to cover yours, staring at your coupled hands for a moment.

"Joel-"

"It was just so fuckin' hard on Sarah, y'know?" he said, his voice cracking. "I had no idea what to tell her. She cried almost every night, askin' me why her mom didn't love her anymore."

"Oh, Joel," you whispered, unable to hold back any longer. You closed the small gap between you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him into your chest, your fingers gently raking through his hair. "I'm so sorry," you told him, burying your nose in the hair on top of his head, breathing in the citrus scent from his shampoo.

He didn't say a word. He just tugged you closer and closed his eyes, leaning into your comforting touch with a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry," he finally managed to croak out. "I'm throwin' way too much at you, I know you didn't sign up for this."

"Shh," you whispered into his hair, then tilted his face up to look at you, his dark brown eyes glassy with unshed tears. "It's okay," you murmured, pressing a soft kiss against his lips. A solitary tear slipped down his cheek when he pulled back to look deep into your eyes.

"It's okay," you repeated, wiping away the tear with the pad of your thumb before placing another gentle kiss against his lips.

He hummed contently against your mouth, sliding his hand up to the back of your neck and pressing his lips more firmly against your own, scared to let you go because if he did, he was sure he would fall apart.

Your grip on his hair tightened as he leaned forward, one strong arm wrapped around your midsection and the other pressed against your back. You mumbled something against his mouth when he tried to lay you down and knocked over a small pile of DVDs.

"Fuck," he whispered and, oh god, the way he said it made your legs turn to jelly and your cheeks flare with heat.

Frustrated, he tightened his grip around you and lifted you up, refusing to break the kiss. A tiny, high pitched squeak slipped past your lips as you wrapped your legs around his hips, letting him carry you to his bed.

He laid you down carefully on top of his plush, navy striped comforter. You sighed into his mouth, your legs loosening around his waist and falling open while you dragged your hands out of his hair and down to his shoulders, wrapping your fingers around his biceps to keep him close. He hovered above you, balancing all his weight on his elbows while his fingers played with the ends of your impossibly soft hair.

He slipped his tongue easily past your lips with a low groan, the noise going straight to your core, making the ache between your legs almost painful while your tongue danced with his, the two already so familiar with each other.

You tipped your head back with a gasp, desperate for air, but he kept going, unable to stop himself. His lips brushed against your jaw before his teeth and prickly beard scraped against the sensitive skin behind your earlobe. You let out a needy whimper and arched your back at the sensation, pushing your breasts into his broad chest as goosebumps spread over your whole body.

"Oh god, Joel," you whined softly, squeezing your eyes shut.

"Yeah, baby?" he replied, his voice thick and muffled against your neck. Baby. Jesus, this man was unraveling you so fast, it was making your head spin.

"I-I know we said this was casual, but-" the words got trapped in your throat as you cut yourself off, unable to finish your thought.

"I know," he said, his voice strained. "Fuck, I know."

He lifted his head away from your neck as he stared down at you, patting your hair back and away from your face as he panted slightly for breath.

You looked up at him, eyes watering as you tried not to think about your time coming to an end in a couple short weeks. You could tell he was thinking the same but didn't want to say it, the pain behind his eyes was obvious.

He blinked a couple times, the clouds clearing as he forced himself to focus on the present. He had you here in his arms, in his bed, underneath him right now. And he was going to be damned if he didn't soak up every single second.

He leaned back down and locked his lips on yours again, this time moving slower, more gentle and tender. He wanted to treat you right. You deserved it, and he wasn't going to give you anything less than what you deserved while he still had you.

You loosened your grip on his arms and allowed your hands to drift to the buttons of his flannel, slowly and shakily undoing them. His heart began to slam against his chest when he realized what you were doing, his mind going fuzzy with desire.

He pulled his head back when you were about halfway down his shirt, looking down hazily at your fingers working open the buttons as he desperately tried to think straight.

"Dad?" Sarah called from downstairs, the front door slamming shut. "Are you here?"

"Shit," Joel mumbled, scrambling off of you as he clumsily tried to redo his buttons. You jumped off the bed, leaning over so you could see into the mirror above his dresser, raking your hands through your tangled hair and quickly fixing your sweater.

"Yeah!" Joel shouted back, glancing over at you to make sure you were decent. "Sorry," he whispered, but you just grinned. Then his eyes fell to the half wrapped presents on the floor.

"Wait! Don't come up-" he called out as he heard her skipping up the steps. Joel grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the room, closing the door behind you both just in time.

"What? Why?" Sarah asked, then froze when she saw you. She looked up at Joel, then back to you, and a slow smile spread across her face.

"Ohhh..." she said with her hands on her hips. "Now I see."

"N-no, it's not what it looks like, she was just helpin' me wrap some gifts," Joel stammered, jutting his thumb over his shoulder. You shifted your weight nervously as you looked back and forth between them.

"Then why are you missing a button on your shirt?"

You both glanced down at his flannel, and she was right. He missed fixing a button in all the chaos. Your face flushed beet red as you stared at the ground while Joel hurriedly fixed the button, cursing under his breath. When you dared to look back up at his daughter, she was smirking playfully at you. Joel cleared his throat.

"Sarah, this is-"

"Yeah, I know, I remember from the party. The pretty dress, right?" she asked, and you nodded.

"Yeah, that's right. Nice to see you again," you said awkwardly.

She nodded, still smirking and looking at you and Joel. You could tell she loved catching her dad in this uncomfortable situation.

"Oh, crap. I forgot. Uncle Tommy is waiting for you in the driveway, said he needed your help unloading some work stuff out from the back of his truck," Sarah said.

"Ah, dammit, alright. You okay for a couple minutes?" he asked you, eyebrows raised.

"Of course," you said. He nodded, walking down the hall past Sarah, muttering "be good" to her as he walked by.

You listened as Joel made his way down the stairs and out the front door, leaving you and Sarah in silence, still staring at one another.

"I'm sorry, we really were wrapping gifts," you assured her.

"It's okay," she said with a shrug. "Last year he used duct tape on my presents, I know he needs the help."

You giggled, causing her to laugh, as well.

"Do you play an instrument?" you asked, just noticing the case on the floor next to her feet.

"Yeah, violin. I had practice after school today," she said, picking it up.

"Oh, cool. I played piano growing up, but I was never any good," you said, sliding your hands in the back pockets of your jeans.

"I have my school's Christmas recital on Friday," she said. "My first solo."

"Oh my god!" you said, clapping your hands together, genuinely impressed. "That's incredible! You must be so excited!"

"Yeah, at first, but now I'm getting nervous," she said, glancing down at the case in her hand. "You wanna hear me play?"

"Duh. Absolutely," you said with a grin. Her eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across her face again.

"O-okay. This is my room right here," she said, turning to her right and opening the door. "Sorry it's messy, my dad's gonna kill me."

"It's totally fine," you said, walking in and sitting down at the edge of her bed. You glanced around the room as she set up her music stand. On the pink walls, she had posters up of her favorite bands with a calendar and string lights draped across the room.

"I really like your room," you said, squinting to look at the stickers and drawings she had on her headboard.

"Thanks," she said sheepishly. "My dad let me do whatever I wanted."

You were about to comment on the various trophies she had on her windowsill when Sarah spoke again.

"Just so you know, I don't mind that you're seeing my dad."

Your eyes shot up to hers in surprise, not sure what to say. You hadn't really had a chance to talk to Joel about your relationship and how that would affect his daughter.

"He's been in such a good mood this past week, and he won't tell me but I know it's because of you," she said, pinning you with a familiar brown gaze.

"Oh, that's so sweet, Sarah," you said, finally finding your voice. "Thank you. That means a lot."

"You're welcome," she said. "I just want him to be happy again."

You dropped your gaze to your lap, your chest tightening at the thought of Joel being so lonely all these years.

"Me, too," you whispered, still looking down. Sarah regarded you for a minute before slapping her palms against the tops of her thighs and leaned down to pick up her violin.

"You ready?" she asked. You looked up and nodded, giving her an encouraging smile and sat back to listen as she began playing a hauntingly beautiful version of 'Silent Night'.

Sarah got about halfway through the song when she hit the wrong note and abruptly stopped, dropping her chin to her chest in frustration.

"Hey, it's okay," Joel heard you say softly as he walked back up the stairs. He paused at the top, right outside Sarah's room to listen.

"It's okay to make mistakes. Just go slower, take your time. Anything worthwhile takes time," you told her, and he smiled when he heard his earlier words to you repeated back to his daughter. He took a step forward to lean against the doorframe and watch the two of you, your back to him as you sat on her bed.

"Okay," Sarah said, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes before lifting the violin to her chin and starting over.

Joel listened to Sarah play the same song he's heard a million times already in just the past month alone, but kept his eyes trained on you. The way you gave her your full, undivided attention and encouraged her with a smile or a thumbs up when she would glance over at you shyly made his chest ache.

When Sarah successfully finished the song with no mistakes, you jumped up from the bed, clapping and cheering for her, making Sarah giggle and hide behind her hands.

Fuck, this was going to be so hard.

"Dad?" Sarah asked the next morning over her bowl of cereal.

"Yeah, baby girl?" he replied, frowning as he pulled his bread from the toaster. He sucked his fingertips into his mouth, trying to bring some relief to the quickly reddening skin.

"Can your friend come to my recital tomorrow?"

Joel froze, his fingers still pressed against his tongue as he slowly turned around to look at her. He dropped his hand and took a deep breath.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," he replied.

"You don't think she would wanna go?" Sarah asked, her eyebrows pinched together.

"No, it's not that, I'm sure she would," he said, trying to find the right words.

"Then what's the problem?"

Joel sighed and picked his mug up from the counter, then walked over to join her at the table.

"She doesn't live here, baby. She's goin' back to New York in another week or so, I don't want you gettin' too attached," he finally admitted, watching Sarah closely as she considered his words.

"Well, you guys like each other, right?" she asked, and Joel smirked.

"Yeah, but it ain't that simple."

"Yes, it is, Dad," she said, rolling her eyes and dipping her spoon back into her bowl. "My friend Katy was dating this guy last year and he switched schools over the summer. They're still together, it doesn't matter," Sarah said with a shrug, taking a bite of cereal.

If the topic didn't fill Joel with a sense of dread, he would have chuckled at the comparison, but instead he just sat there quietly, watching his daughter as she finished her cereal and scrolled on her phone.

Sarah pulled on her backpack and was sliding on her sneakers to catch the bus when she called back to Joel over her shoulder.

"Just ask her, okay? Please, Dad?"

Joel sighed, hanging his head between his shoulders and paused his hands over the dishes in the sink.

"Alright," he relented, and he heard Sarah clap her hands behind him before slamming the front door shut.

You: good morning :)

Joel Miller: Good Morning, sweetheart. I didn't think you would be up this early.

You: couldn't fall back asleep. What are you doing

Joel Miller: Just getting to work. Why couldn't you fall back asleep?

You thought about it for a minute from under the pile of blankets on your bed, rolling to your side before answering.

You: I was thinking about you...

Joel Miller: Good thoughts, I hope?

You: VERY ;)

His throat went dry when he opened the text. He glanced around outside his car window, making sure he was still the only one on the job site before replying.

Joel Miller: What are you trying to tell me, baby?

You smirked and bit down on your lip.

You: I was wishing you were in bed with me right now

"Shit," he muttered to himself, glancing around once again before adjusting his pants.

Joel Miller: Me too, what are you wearing?

The answer came back almost immediately.

You: nothing

He groaned and rubbed his palms roughly over his face.

Joel Miller: You're killing me, baby. I have to get working in a minute.

You: i'm sorry ;)

You: I promised my parents I would go to dinner with them tonight, but are you free tomorrow?

Joel took a deep breath, trying to clear the onslaught of inappropriate thoughts from his head when he remembered his promise to Sarah.

Joel Miller: It's Sarah's recital tomorrow night. She asked me to invite you this morning, did you want to go?

He nervously chewed his cheek for a moment before sending another text.

Joel Miller: No pressure, I can tell her you're busy.

He sent his second text right as your reply came through.

You: I would love to!

He grinned and raked his fingers through his hair. Tommy's knuckles tapped on the outside of Joel's window, making him jump. He held up a finger before sending you a quick answer.

Joel Miller: Sounds great. I'll pick you up. Try to go back to sleep. Dream of me.

Joel opened the door and slid his phone in his back pocket, a stupid grin etched across his face as he joined his brother in the half-built storefront they were working on.

"Oh man, you got it bad," Tommy said with a chuckle when he saw the look on Joel's face.

"Alright, what do you think of this one?" you asked Cassie as you stepped out of the bathroom modeling the sixth dress of the day.

"I liked the red one better," she said, glancing up from her phone.

"Are you sure? This one is a little more chic," you said, twisting around to look at your backside in the mirror.

"It's a high school recital, Buck. I don't think anyone is expecting 'chic'," she teased, and you rolled your eyes.

"Well, I just want to look nice, is all," you said, sitting next to her on your bed in a huff. You tapped your phone screen, frowning when all you had was another text from Sydney and nothing from Joel. You opened it up anyway, curiosity getting the best of you.

Sydney: OMG!!!!!!

You sent back three question marks and locked your phone with a sigh.

"You still wanna get together next week so we can look at apartments online for you?" she asked.

"Yeah," you said sadly, looking out the window.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you told her. "Just not ready to go back yet."

"Could that be because of a certain sexy contractor?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Shut up," you smirked, tossing a pillow at her lightly.

"Ooo you like him! Lookit how red you're getting!"

"I'm gonna kill you when that baby's out, you know that, right?" you giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Cassie said, looking back down at her phone as the smile slowly faded from her face. "You know you don't have to go back, right?"

"What do you mean? My job is there, my life is there... everything is there," you replied. "Of course I have to go back."

"What life, though?" she asked, and you frowned at her. "Seriously, Buck. Aside from your job, which you hate, what's left?"

"Well, my friends are there. And I don't hate my job that much. I mean, everyone hates their job a little bit," you said with a shrug.

"Is this what you expected to do when you were in college? Is this what you wanted?" Cassie pressed, sitting up on the bed. "Are you even happy?"

You paused, letting her words roll around in your head for a moment.

"Well, I mean..." you trailed off, not sure how to answer her question.

"If you have to think about it this long, I think you know the answer," your sister said quietly. You groaned and rolled off the bed.

"I'm going back. I have to. I can't just give up because some guy broke my heart," you said, turning around so she could unzip the back of your dress.

"I'm just saying, think about it," Cassie replied. "I wouldn't hate it if my child's aunt was in their life more than twice a year!" she called after you as you shut the door to the bathroom.

Joel eagerly jogged up the porch steps and rang the doorbell, very aware of the camera this time while he fiddled with the cuffs on his dark red button down shirt. He heard high heels clicking on the other side of the door and the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile, which quickly vanished when you opened the door and he saw the dress you were wearing.

"Hi," you said with a shy smile, pulling a soft looking white cardigan on over your shoulders.

He thought he had greeted you. He could have sworn he said something, anything, that didn't make him look like a complete idiot, but apparently nothing came out because you scrunched your eyebrows together when you saw his face.

"Are you okay?" you asked, pulling the door shut behind you.

"Yeah, it's just - Jesus, you look so good," he managed to finally say, tilting his head back to stare up at the roof of the porch for a moment, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you," you said with a giggle. "You don't look half bad, yourself."

He rubbed his forehead, exasperated and flustered before pulling you quickly into his arms and latching his mouth onto yours with a groan.

"Joel," you pulled back breathlessly with a small smile and leaned your head to the side, trying to silently remind him of the doorbell. His eyes raked over you hungrily before shaking his head and pulling you back into a deep kiss.

Fuck the camera, let them see.

You giggled against his mouth, causing him to smile and break the kiss.

"Come on, I wanna get good seats," you said, rubbing your thumb over his lower lip to wipe off your lipstick that transferred. It caused his stomach to clench. That sweet, little intimate gesture made him ache for more so badly that he could hardly breathe.

He walked you around the front of his truck, opening the door and giving you a hand so you could hop onto the seat, the gorgeous red dress you were wearing hugging your curves just right and distracting him to no end.

On the walk around to the driver's side, he mentally scolded himself, reminding himself over and over that tonight was a big deal for his little girl and he needed to stay focused.

As he drove down the street, he realized that his hand instinctively found yours across the seat, his body craving the warmth and softness of your own. How on earth was he going to go back to the life he had before, now that he knows what it's like to bask in the heat of your touch?

Once he got to the school, he found a parking spot and jumped out of the truck. You had figured out by now that he preferred you to wait so he could open the car door for you, so you did. Swinging your legs over the side of the seat, you slid down into his waiting arms, your hands gently coming to rest on the tops of his shoulders. He gazed down at you with his arms loosely hanging around your waist. You saw his adam's apple bob in his throat while he let himself get lost in your warm, beautiful eyes. You lifted a finger from his shoulder, tracing an invisible line down the side of his cheek as you stared up at him with your plush lips parted so invitingly that it made his knees weak.

"Joel! Hey!" Tommy's voice called out from behind, snapping you both out of the moment. Joel sighed and untangled himself from you, taking your hand and leading you forward so he could shut the door before turning around to find his brother.

You could see the family resemblance immediately as Tommy approached you with a wide grin. His hair was a bit darker and a lot longer, and his beard was less full than Joel's, but he had the same soft, brown eyes that you had grown to know and love.

Love? Oh, no.

"Hey, Tommy," Joel said as he got closer, his hand pressed firmly on the small of your back. "This is-"

"Oh, I know who she is. How're you doin', darlin'?" Tommy asked, pulling you into a bear hug, taking you by surprise.

"I-I'm good," you squeaked shyly once he released you. "Nice to meet you."

"I've been dyin' to meet the little lady who's got my brother all wrapped up," he replied with a grin.

"Tommy!" Joel seethed warningly at your side, but you just giggled.

"I'm just messin' around. She knows that, right?" he said, shoving his hands in his coat pocket and rolling on the balls of his feet. "Supposed to snow next week, can you believe it?"

"Yeah, I heard we might get a couple feet," Joel said, steering you toward the doors to the auditorium. "Better get your shovel ready."

You settled in between the two brothers as you found a decent spot in the fourth row. Joel draped his arm around the back of your chair while he chatted with Tommy about work. You inadvertently leaned to the side and rested your shoulder against his chest as you glanced around the room, admiring the lit up garlands around the windows and Christmas trees on the stage with fake presents underneath.

When their conversation died down, Tommy pulled out his phone and began scrolling through social media, holding it low between his spread knees with his chin tucked into his chest.

Joel tilted his face forward to press his lips on the top of your head, breathing in a deep and contented breath. A small smile played across your lips as you turned your gaze up towards him, resting your cheek gently on his shoulder. He looked down at you with a smile and planted a chaste kiss on your forehead, and as each of you slid your eyes closed for a moment, Tommy angled his phone to snap a quick picture, smiling to himself and making a mental note to show his brother later.

The lights dimmed and you all straightened up in your seats. You listened to the music teacher make a small speech at the beginning and politely clapped afterwards. You saw Sarah twice throughout the concert as part of the orchestra, smiling at how focused and beautiful she looked in her white dress. As the concert wound down, Sarah finally came out on stage for her solo, and the three of you eagerly leaned forward. At the last minute, you remembered to pull out your phone and start a video, telling yourself you were doing it for Joel so that he could be in the moment, but you knew you would end up watching it by yourself when you went back to New York City.

The performance was flawless. When it was over, the three of you lept up from your seats, cheering, jumping and clapping, making her wave and blush as she exited the stage. You sat down, giggling, as the people surrounding you gave you all polite smiles and chuckles, then quieted down for the finale.

When the lights came back up, everyone stood from their seats, murmuring and laughing while waiting for their kids to come out from backstage and take pictures. You saw a flash of white out of the corner of your eye and moved out of the way just in time for Sarah to run and jump up into Joel's arms, burying her face in his neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, his arms wrapped around her tightly, murmuring praise in her ear. You felt warmth spread across your chest as you watched them have their moment, the corners of your mouth turned up into a smile with your hands clasped together against your chest.

He let her down gently and she turned to give Tommy a quick hug. He spun her around, making her giggle and fidget with her dress before she turned to you.

"You came!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms loosely around your waist. Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting such affection from her, but you quickly returned the hug.

"Of course I came! Thank you for inviting me," you said, pulling back with a grin. "You were absolutely perfect, I took a video, I'll send it to your dad so he can show you later."

"I did exactly what you told me, I slowed down and took my time," she beamed, and it gave you a new feeling deep in your chest that you never felt before.

"That's great, Sarah," you replied, your throat tight with emotion. Tommy dropped his gaze from you and ticked his jaw to the side, finally understanding why Joel was hesitant to let Sarah know about the two of you.

"Dad?" Sarah asked, turning away from you. "Can I sleep over at Katy's? She's having a bunch of girls over and her mom said it was okay."

"Uh, sure, baby girl. Don't you need clothes and stuff?"

"I have stuff I keep here in my locker for gym," she said.

"Well, alright, lemme talk to her mom first," he replied, glancing around the room.

"Thank you! She's right over here," she said, grabbing his hand. "Thanks for coming!" she called back last minute over her shoulder to you and Tommy, and you both smiled and waved as she dragged her father across the room.

"She's so talented," you said, turning to Tommy. He looked down at you and gave you a weak smile.

"Yeah, she's somethin' else," he said with a nod. "Hey, listen. I'm havin' a get together next week at my house. Little Christmas party, I guess. I invited a guy I met at your parents' house - Josh? He's comin' with his wife, Joel and Sarah'll be there, I'd love for you to come by if you can."

"Josh is my brother in law," you clarified for him. "That sounds great, I'll be there, thank you."

"You're welcome," Tommy said, then his brows pinched together as he opened his mouth again to speak. "Joel might kill me for sayin' this, but you gotta know how happy you've -"

"Ready to go?" Joel asked, sneaking up beside you. Tommy cleared his throat and gave his brother an innocent smile.

"Yep," you replied, dropping your hand to find his at your side, lacing your fingers together and giving him a gentle squeeze.

After saying goodbye to Tommy, Joel slowly led you through the parking lot to his truck, desperately trying to think of something else you could do, not ready to drop you off yet. He knew the time you had together was coming to an end, and he wanted to soak up every precious second. Especially after the way he saw you with Sarah: so warm and sweet and patient. He couldn't remember the last time he saw his daughter's eyes light up that way.

He prided himself on being a good father since his wife left. Always making sure to put Sarah first, that she got everything she could ever want or need. Especially his love. When his ex abandoned them, he made sure Sarah got every ounce of love he had, hoping it would help make up for the loss. But as hard as he tried, he could never fully fill both roles. There were just some things that a mother provided for her daughter that Joel couldn't give.

He didn't realize it until he saw you with Sarah earlier that night, and then it felt like everything shifted into focus for the first time in his life.

He held out his hand to help you get back into his truck, making sure your legs were safely tucked in before he gently shut the door.

Sitting in the driver's seat gripping the steering wheel, he stared straight ahead for a moment in complete silence, the keys still in his coat pocket while his mind reeled.

"Is everything okay?" you asked timidly. He blinked and turned to you.

"Yeah," he said hoarsely. He swallowed and looked at his watch.

"You wanna get coffee or somethin'? I know it's gettin' late but I'm sure some place's open," he said, deep in thought as he considered the cafés nearby.

"Don't you have coffee at your house?" you asked shyly. His eyes snapped up to yours and he saw the flush creeping up your neck and the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

Oh.

"Yeah, yes," he croaked, nervously clearing his throat. "Let's do that. I have- yeah, good idea," he stammered, fumbling with the keys in his pocket.

You smirked as you watched his shaky hand turn the key in the ignition. He twisted around to back out of the parking spot, and this time you gave into temptation, unbuckling your seatbelt so you could slide over and tuck yourself under his arm. He immediately pulled you closer, not even caring that you weren't wearing your seatbelt. He would make sure to drive safe. Nothing could possibly ruin that night. He wouldn't let it.

At stop lights, you would run your hand up his chest and plant small kisses against the corner of his mouth, filling him with a radiating bliss he never felt before.

Once you got back to his house, you shrugged off your sweater and trailed behind him as he made his way into the kitchen. You leaned against the wall and watched as he opened one of the cupboards - the one with the small birds carved into the bottom - and pulled down a can of coffee.

"I don't think I have any decaf," he said turning to look at you.

"I don't want coffee, Joel," you said lowly. He swallowed roughly and put the can on the counter.

"What d'you want, then?"

You pushed yourself off the wall and slowly walked towards him, his eyes skating up and down your body as you approached. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you tilted your face up to gaze at him, your mouth hovering over his own.

"I want you."

His eyes fluttered closed as your lips slotted against his, his rough hands immediately coming up to cup your smooth face, holding you firmly against his mouth. Christ, he would never get tired of kissing you. If he could do it every single day for the rest of his life, he would. He knew it seemed crazy. He knew you just met, but he couldn't help the way you made him feel.

"Let's go upstairs," you whispered, nipping at his lower lip.

He couldn't speak. He just nodded in a daze and let you lead him coyly up the steps, then turned around to walk backwards down the hall towards his bedroom so you could pull him tightly against your body. His big hands gripped your waist while his tongue slipped past your lips, searching for its mate.

You reached behind you blindly, your hand fighting with the doorknob as his big frame caged you in against the wood, his masculine scent invading your senses and making it difficult to think. Finally, the door swung open and you both stumbled in, a giggle erupting from your throat as your fingers got to work undoing the buttons on his dress shirt.

You hurriedly tugged his button down off, leaving it in a heap on the floor as you slid your palms underneath the white t-shirt he had on, feeling the warm skin of his stomach and chest for the first time.

"Off," you whispered, your heart getting stuck in your throat when he yanked the shirt over his head, leaving his upper body completely bare to you. Your mouth went dry as you drank him in, then lunged forward, your lips brushing up his sternum until you reached his collarbone. You sucked on a bit of tanned skin there with a moan, then slipped your tongue out to press wetly against the red mark you left, feeling drunk off the taste of his sweat.

He gently pushed you backwards so he could ease you down onto his bed, his breath growing erratic and desperate with each little bite you left on his chest. God, has anyone ever desired him this much before? Has he really been missing out on this his entire life?

"Baby, we're gonna have to stop soon if you don't want this to go any further," he murmured. He found himself in the familiar position of hovering above you while his hand slid down your leg and toyed with the hem of your dress.

"I don't think I can take much more, tell me to stop," he whispered when you didn't answer, running the tip of his nose softly against your cheek.

"I don't want you to stop," you gasped as his fingers slipped underneath your dress. You tilted your head back and moaned when you felt his fingertips brush against the damp fabric of your panties.

His mouth hungrily devoured the exposed cleavage of your breasts, growing frustrated with the fabric of your dress keeping him from seeing all of you.

"Sit up," he demanded, leaning back and pulling his hand from between your legs. You obeyed, and he made short work of your zipper, pulling it all the way down so you could shimmy out, leaving you in just your underwear.

"Oh, fuck," he whispered when he realized you weren't wearing a bra. You let yourself fall back gently on the bed, spreading your arms out above your head so he could see every inch of you in the moonlight.

He couldn't believe this was actually happening. He kept waiting for his alarm to go off and reality to slap him across the face, but it never came. His heart was pounding so fast, he was sure you could hear it as he leaned back down and nibbled at your exposed jaw while his calloused hand cupped your soft breast, his thumb flicking over your hardening nipple.

You scraped your nails over his shoulders and down his chest as you arched your back, pressing into his hand, needing to feel the heat of his skin against your own. Your stomach flipped as you made your way down to his belt, and with shaky fingers, pulled hastily at the leather.

Yanking the belt through the loops with one swift motion, you flung it across the room, making him chuckle against your skin. When you started to work on popping open the button on his dress pants, a devastating thought suddenly occurred to him.

"Shit, wait," he said, putting his hand on top of yours. You frowned up at him, your chest heaving, as you gave him a confused look.

"I don't have any protection," he said through gritted teeth. He hung his head and squeezed his eyes shut angrily. "I-I haven't been with anyone since my ex, and I never thought... fuck," he said, clenching his jaw.

You weighed your options for about half a second before tugging his chin up, forcing him to look at you.

"I'm still on birth control," you told him, searching his eyes. "I mean, only if you're comfortable with it, we don't have to," you said, but in your head you were chanting please, please, please.

"Are you sure?" he asked, panting for air. "I don't wanna make you feel like -"

"Yes," you said, cutting him off by grabbing his face. "Yes. I'm sure, Joel. Please," you whimpered, pulling him back down to you, his mouth crashing down on yours again.

"Please," you whispered again, tipping your head back as his lips left a trail of soft kisses down your throat. "Please, Joel, I need you."

His mouth stuttered against your neck. Hearing you beg and say you needed him when he never thought he would ever be needed like this in his whole life made his mind go blank.

"Okay," he rasped. "Okay, baby."

He tugged at the zipper on his black pants and pulled them off as quickly as he could without leaving you. You reached down to help him, hooking your fingers over the band of his boxers and shoving them down. He kicked them off before yanking down your panties, dropping them on the floor next to his clothes.

You eagerly spread your legs so he could settle his hips between them. You glanced down with a small gasp when you saw the size of him and you felt your cheeks flare. Jesus Christ.

He didn't seem to notice your reaction when he was too wrapped up in staring at the wet heat between your legs, pulsing and waiting, just for him. He slid a finger gently between your folds, making you moan and your back arch. Fuck, he loved how responsive you were to his touch.

He readjusted so he was kneeling between your legs. His palms slid up your calves, past your knees and to your inner thighs, pressing them down into the mattress so you were spread wide.

He lined himself up at your center, glancing up at you quickly to make sure you were ready. You swallowed and nodded, your eyes filled with desire, desire for him, something he still couldn't fathom but decided not to question. He pressed forward gently, notching himself against you before falling forward on his elbows.

He kissed the tip of your nose as he eased himself inside you, pausing when he heard you gasp and felt you tense under him.

"More," you finally croaked, your nails coming up to rake against his scalp. He let out the breath he was holding and pushed in further, his eyes fluttering shut and his mouth falling open as he felt you slowly stretch around him so perfectly, like you were made just for him.

"Oh, god," he sighed, dropping his face to the crook of your neck after he fully sheathed himself inside you. He dragged his mouth across your chest, leaving a wet trail from his tongue and red marks from his scratchy beard in his wake. He waited until he felt your muscles relax under him before he slowly rolled his hips, dragging himself in and out as his teeth scraped over your tightening nipples. You moaned his name softly, the sound permanently etched in his brain, a sound he will refuse to forget for the rest of his life.

He began to roll his hips faster at your encouragement, becoming obsessed with the way you felt and the sounds you made, and it was all for him. He spent so much of his life giving to everyone around him, he never truly felt like anyone was able or willing to give him what he needed in return until now. The recognition was depressing and freeing at the same time. Now that he finally had what he always wanted, what he always needed, he was going to lose you and there was nothing he could do about it.

Each moan from your throat and each kiss from your lips dragged him down deeper and deeper until he collided head first with the stunning, yet so painfully obvious, realization that he was deliriously in love with you. It was insane, he knew that. But it didn't make it any less true.

"Joel," you gasped, pulling him out of his trance and back to the present.

"Yeah, baby? I'm here. I'm right here," he whispered, planting soft kisses all over your face.

You bit down on your lower lip and squeezed your eyes shut. The sheer intensity behind his gaze coupled with the agony of only getting to experience this for one more short week made tears burn in the backs of your eyes.

You felt your orgasm begin to swell deep in your belly while your breath became more ragged and your vision went spotty. It shouldn't feel this good. This was cruel, to be able to experience something like this just to have it brutally ripped away from you. It wasn't fair, yet you never wanted it to stop.

He could feel it. It's been years, and it was never, ever like this, but he still knew. The way you whimpered and clawed at his back while your walls squeezed him so tightly, he thought he might pass out.

"Open your eyes," he panted. "I wanna look at you."

You forced your eyes open, now unable to hold back the tears that pooled there as two drops trickled down the side of your face, getting lost in your hair.

"It's okay, I got you," he whispered lovingly, staring deep into your eyes, seeing everything you didn't dare say out loud.

"You can let go, baby," he told you, his hips snapping against you ruthlessly, desperate to come at the same time.

You felt the wave rip through you like fire, the power and emotion behind it unlike anything you ever felt before. More tears poured from your eyes as you cried out his name, your thighs squeezing his hips so tightly you weren't sure you would be able to stand after.

He followed seconds later with a deep groan, spilling himself deep inside you while murmuring praise and wiping away your tears with his thumb.

"Why're you cryin', did I hurt you?" he asked, his voice filled with so much concern that it broke your heart. You shook your head, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand, but fresh ones just took their place.

"C'mon, talk to me," he urged, leaning up a bit as he softened inside you.

"What are we gonna do, Joel?" you blubbered pathetically. He took a shaky breath in and tenderly tucked your hair behind your ear.

"I don't know, baby, but we'll figure somethin' out. We gotta," he said with a sigh.

"I can't lose you," you whispered, pressing your forehead against his and closing your eyes.

"You'll never lose me, I can promise you that," he replied, pressing a gentle kiss against your swollen lips.

He waited until your tears slowed down before sliding out of you with a hiss. Rolling off to your side, he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you close against his chest, and as you finally drifted off in his embrace, he thought about all of the options available before you, determined to find a solution.

Tag list: @lola8888673 @pedropascalsbbg @nandan11 @sushiumex @serenadingtigers @jjlevin @survivingandenduring @amyispxnk @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @merz-8 @wonyoungismind @fandomscollide @anoverwhelmingdin @cayleejx16 @msjjekyll @lizzie-cakes @hexedbywanda @harriedandharassed @joeldjarin - lmk if i missed anyone, if your name is crossed out it means it won't let me tag you

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f1fnatic · 3 months

Text

BUT I THOUGHT SHE WAS UNFAITHFUL? ⤿ d. ricciardo 3

→ ( in which. . . ) you star in a movie as the lead actress. in said movie, you date your co-star. the fans of your boyfriend don't like the idea, so they spread rumors in response to you and your co-stars friendship. but, little do they know, it's not you they should be worried about.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) social media au

→ ( face claim. . . ) sydney sweeney

→ ( pairing. . . ) daniel ricciardo x actress!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) rumors of cheating, eventual cheating, cyber bullying, language, toxic fans

→ ( author's note. . . ) this was sitting in my drafts for so very long and i just finished it in class, i am so happy i am able to post something after such a long hiatus. I hope you enjoy! see end for more

─ INSTAGRAM ↴

y/nnnn

liked by glenpowell, danielricciardo, alexademie, lewishamilton and 3,126,731 others

tagged: glenpowell, sonypictures, and anyonebutyoumovie

happy to announce that anyone but you in theaters NOW! go watch it >:)

view 865,729 comments

y/nlover ugh cannot wait to watch!

alexademie pretty pretty girl

y/nnnn all you lexie :(

danielricciardo so unbelievably proud of you roo ❤️

y/nnnn thank you badger ☹️

glenpowell such an honor to work with you!

y/nnnn i can say the same!

y/nhater don't you think that her and glen are too close to be co-stars?

y/nhater2 i'm thinking the same thing there's no way she didn't cheat

y/nfan wtf are u talking ab? y/n would NOT do that to danny they are happy together

lewishamilton free tickets 👀

landonorris 👀

maxverstappen1 👀

charles_leclerc 👀

y/nnnn sonypictures what do you think?

sonypictures I'm sure we can work something out.

danielricciardo

liked by y/nnnn, glenpowell, landonorris, scottyjames31, and 3,421,874 others

tagged: y/nnnn

words cannot express how proud i am of you, my love. you have poured so much blood, sweat, and tears into this movie. i know it has been hard, especially the long shoot hours, the frantic facetimes in between scenes can vouch for that and so can the texts. i will definitely miss the on-set pictures/updates.

i love you so much y/n. i don't know how i could be any prouder. p.s. i better get a private showing if you know what i mean 😉

view 831,341 comments

landonorris gross there are children on this app

hunterschafer cutie pies

zendaya is that blond single?

danielricciardo not atm no get in line

y/nnnn danny be nice.

danielricciardo sry love 🫡

y/nfan LMAO

georgerussell63 get a room 🤮

drlover she is such a slut

alexademie actual goals

y/nnnn awe danny i love you too

y/nnnn definitely NOT crying right now!!!

lewishamilton she is lying she facetimed me SOBBING

y/nnn i called you in CONFIDENCE. CONFIDENCE LEWIS.

y/nnnn you are the sweetest, most supportive person i have ever met. i could not have gotten through this without you ❤

danielricciardo there is no one else i rather support ❤

y/ndanny they are meant for each other

y/nhater what a fucking whore

y/ndanny2 the best couple

─ TWITTER ↴

─ IMESSAGE ↴

─ TWITTER ↴

imessage ↴

—————————————————————

Unknown Contact i stole ur mans 😜

—————————————————————

lexieee 😚 i am so so sorry my love, he didnt deserve you ❤️

—————————————————————

Lando Norris He treated you like shit anyways

—————————————————————

alrighty, finished! thank you so much for reading, so sorry for the radio silence, ive been super unmotivated and consumed with school 💔 anyways, requests and feedback are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well (only if you want :P)

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licncourt · 2 years

Note

Is there a specific way to read the vampire chronicles or some books you should skip (I’ve just heard that some aren’t that good but like I’m up for anything)? And what books are focused on Louis and Lestat?

Okay I hope you weren't looking for a short answer to this because there isn't one 😭 Rather than just give my uncontextualized opinion, I'm going to try to explain what makes some (most) of VC so unbelievably terrible in so many people's eyes. There are going to be spoilers for pretty much all the books, but most of it is either incredibly stupid or information that you might want relating to content warnings. I'll list what applies to each book as I go.

I'm assuming you're here from my VC primer post, but if not, I'll link it right here! It gives a bit more detail on my short answer to your main question which is: if you value your sanity, only read the first three. Also a note to read the post I linked at the bottom of it about Anne Rice for context. It will help with understanding the tone this post takes re: the author.

To quickly answer your second question, I am sad to report that Interview with the Vampire is the only book focused on Loustat because after that Anne Rice decided that she hated Louis. Their relationship is on and off in the (very, VERY distant) background until they finally get together permanently towards the end of the series, but it's never the focal point again. She just kept us all on the hook by having one absolutely brain chemistry altering ship moment in a majority of the books (my compilation of those moments here).

Okay, on to specifics:

Interview with the Vampire: a literary classic with incredible character building. I'm assuming we can all agree that IWTV is fantastic and anyone who is reading this because of the show is probably already sold on it. If that's where you're coming from, you might be a bit disappointed by how unsympathetic Lestat can be, but that'll be remedied(ish) later. Lestat is the main character in the series going forward. Enjoy this Louis content because this is pretty much the end of it.

CW: keep in mind that the beginning of the book takes place on a plantation with all that entails; there are some occasional pedophilic and incestuous undertones, but nothing out of place with Gothic horror (it gets so much worse); domestic violence

The Vampire Lestat: this is widely considered to be excellent popular fiction rather than something as elevated as IWTV, but it's a 5-star read according to most fans. Lestat is such a vibrant, exciting character and so much more than the charismatic villain he was in IWTV (the AMC show incorporates a lot of his characterization from this book, as IWTV was originally a stand-alone novel without any real idea of what Lestat would become).

Aside from a (delightful) cameo at the end of the book, Louis is now in Anne Rice Jail and will not be allowed to do anything for the next nine books except be tortured once like a bug for no reason.

CW: a non-consensual turning that is directly analogous to sexual assault; descriptions of child abuse; Lestat, unfortunately, tongue kisses his mom

Queen of the Damned: this is the last book that most fans like. I personally consider it a step down from the first two, but I strongly prefer intimate, character driven stories and QotD is very plotty. It's a fun book, but some cracks start to show in AR's writing that will become a big problem later. Still, it's enjoyable and the ending is very satisfying for the story arc and for the characters. It also contains a fan favorite chapter that follows Daniel, the interviewer, and his insane romance with the vampire Armand.

If you want to be a happy person, turn back now.

CW: non-con blood drinking/vampiric SA; casual racism and pro-imperialism

***CATEGORY 5 EVENT: ANNE RICE FIRES HER EDITOR PERMANENTLY***

The Tale of the Body Thief: this is considered by most fans (obligatory not ALL) to be the worst book in the series simply for how the subject matter is handled. This is the beginning of AR transforming Lestat into something very existentially disturbing without even meaning to. The sympathetic, charming, evil-but-not-really theater kid Lestat is gone without a trace in a way that could be a very insightful look at the aftermath of trauma but is instead deeply insensitive and really upsetting.

Lestat from here on out becomes a hypermasculine caricature that can do no wrong according to the narrative and this has some pretty awful results. There are a few funny moments (like Lestat describing the sensation of peeing for two full pages) and a very cute arc where he adopts a dog, but he also commits two explicit rapes and emotionally abuses/threatens Louis on several occasions with the authorial justification that "men can't help themselves", abuse victims have it coming for setting boundaries, and people who have suffered abuse become abusers. This will be a recurring theme going forward.

Not related to Lestat, but also an Indian man is killed and has his body stolen and inhabited by a white British man in what would be a great metaphor for colonialism if the author thought that was a bad thing.

I am on the last chapter of a 140,000 word fic that I wrote just because I hate TotBT so much and wanted to create a world where it doesn't have to exist. It's one of the most popular VC fics on ao3, and that's not a testament to my writing ability, but rather to how much people hate this book.

CW: graphic SA; domestic violence; insensitivity to the point of racism; the author thinking these things are okay

Memnoch the Devil: not much to say about this. It's AR's ripoff of Dante's Inferno. Lestat meets the devil, goes to hell, drinks the blood of Jesus Christ, loses an eye, vacuum sucks period blood out of a woman's uterus and pad, and then falls into a five year semi-coma on a church floor. Somehow it's still boring. Best I can say is that the Lestat characterization is a bit less heinous than it is in the previous book.

CW: not much here unless you have an issue with period blood guzzling

The Vampire Armand: truly a notorious book in the series, beloved by some, hated by many. There's some good backstory for the character Armand (he first appears in IWTV, likely in season two of the show) and some fun historical fiction, however. Armand begins his story as a twelve year old human child who is rescued from sex slavery by an ancient vampire, Marius (he was namedropped in AMC ep 2).

Over the course of the book, he's physically, mentally, sexually abused by Marius, his teacher and father figure who is, like David, presented as a wise and moral authorit figure. In addition, Armand carries on a sexual relationship with an adult man as a minor. The sex is graphic (it's erotica) and it's really the peak of the pedophilia in VC. Keep in mind that this is coming from an author who publicly defended a child predator and thought that 14 year old kids could consent and should be allowed to have sex with adults.

Of all the later books, this one is the most widely enjoyed because Marius/Armand is a fairly popular ship.

CW: CSA/grooming; statutory rape; explicit adult/minor content; child abuse; cult abuse

Merrick: evil, evil book. AR's giant fuck you to Louis and anyone who likes his character. Lestat is in his devil coma for most of this book, so it's narrated by his newest fledgling and rape victim, David (who I and most others despise. This is the white guy who has an Indian body now). By this point, AR had openly admitted that she didn't like Louis, and she kind of spends this book tormenting and mocking him for no reason.

The titular Merrick (a mixed-race witch drowned in awful racial connotations) mind controls Louis with magic, then forces him to turn her (again, AR has confirmed that this is vampire rape) and be in a relationship. After this, she conjures a "ghost" that may or may not be Louis and Lestat’s dead daughter who tells Louis she always hated him and blamed him for her death. Completely overcome by grief, without Lestat (coma), and having been raped, Louis attempts suicide.

This event and all his mental health issues up to this point are framed by David as being stupid and weak, the sign of a lesser person who should just go and die because they deserve it. It is worth mentioning yet again that David is framed as being in the right and AR had expressed these opinions herself in the past (ie that mental illness is just weakness and you should be able to get over it).

Another fun thing is that Merrick was groomed by David as a child and he spends most of the book wanting her back and also admitting to other acts of pedophilia. So that's fun and great for a character who's supposed to be a voice of reason and moral center.

0/10, despise this book.

CW: sexual assault; grooming; attempted suicide

Blood & Gold: this is Marius' backstory. It is a completely pointless book because we've already heard it twice by this point in the series (and if you read the companion book Pandora, you'll hear it again). The whole thing reads like a Wikipedia page about ancient Rome. Read it if you want I guess.

CW: Marius

Blackwood Farm: this book had...potential? None of that was ever achieved, but I'll at least say that the concept could be worse. Lestat acquires his FIFTH brunette sadboi love interest of the series in this book, so that's kind of funny. Overall though, any positive qualities are overshadowed by weird prose, a really transphobic caricature, and the fact that the main character has shower sex with the ghost of his dead twin brother

CW: transphobia; sibling incest

Blood Canticle: Miss Rice decided to. Get creative with this book. It is a fandom joke. It is the worst prose in existence. It is a literary manic episode. It is truly indescribable. I'm just going to leave this excerpt from ch 1 here and let you imagine an entire book of this

Yes, chapter one is Anne Rice using Lestat as a proxy to berate her readers for not liking Memnoch the Devil. It's also important to me that you know Lestat calls himself "omnisensual" in this book, tries to become a saint, and tells a woman to put some clothes on because men can't control themselves. The word "chuckle" is also written out in the prose in italics like this is ff.net in 2010. The best thing that came of this book is the famous AR Amazon reviews rant (now a beloved VC fandom copypasta). Please read it. It's transcendent.

CW: psychologically devastating prose

Prince Lestat: this is AR's comeback book, published 12 years after Blood Canticle. It's an improvement, but it's still terrible and very, VERY dumb. Lestat has completed his transformation into a macho man male power fantasy for AR and we end with the establishment of a vampire monarchy with Lestat in charge because he slurped and then puked up the brains of the vampire who had the Special Vampire Essence.

Mostly this was an excuse for AR to kill off a bunch of her weird NPCs that she didn't know what to do with. The good news is we get a very cute, official Loustat love confession and for the first time since the first book in the entire series, we get a chapter that's Louis' POV!! It's like 7 pages long but it's the best we're ever going to get.

Other fun thing that happens: Lestat is hooked up to a hormone IV that allows him to fuck (book vampires can't) and the resident scientist vampire steals his cum and creates a petri dish clone of Lestat that is raised in secret for 18 years before being given to Lestat as his son. No, I'm not joking.

CW: uh, brain eating? Insanely unethical human experimentation?

Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis: batshit crazy book. Truly bonkers. There are aliens, Atlantis is real, Lestat has a sentient brain parasite that controls all vampires and talks to him in his mind like the PS5, vampire brain surgery occurs, a choir of child vampires is there, an alien named Derek breastfeeds a disembodied hand until it grows into his clone named Derek Two, and so much more.

The one positive is that after decades of harassment, AR finally lets Louis be a main character again. By this point he has been completely stripped of his personality (I call it the Louis Lobotomy) and exists solely as Lestat's sexy lamp, but whatever. He's there and they're cute together. How they managed to become a healthy, functional couple overnight after two hundred years of drama is never explained.

Lestat makes out with his rapist and talks about how he was asking for it in a particularly nauseating scene, but otherwise it's pretty tame trigger-wise

CW: rape apologia/victim blaming

Blood Communion: we are finally being put out of our misery. The end of the series. This is such a boring book and Lestat’s characterization is completely nonsensical by now. Several main characters are presumed dead for a while and by this point you don't even care. Not even the other characters in the book seem to care. Its only use is to get that sweet sweet Loustat happy ending.

CW: temporary character death

Alright, that was a lot of shit-talking a book series I literally run a fandom blog and write hundreds of thousands of words of fic for, but the truth is, fans are here for the characters as they were originally created. The first three books are wonderful, the first two completely masterful and case studies in how character building should be done. There's a reason they've been read and analyzed and fawned over for forty years. What happened to the series is heartbreaking, but it doesn't negate the impact of how it started.

AR may have started spelling her own characters' names wrong and writing a baffling combination of disgusting hot takes and total absurdity, but she created something special in the beginning and I'll always love it and be grateful for what it once was.

I hope that was helpful!

#i'm sorry i didn't proofread this it's 4am #answered #vc #the vampire chronicles #iwtv #loustat #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #interview with the vampire

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wonjns · 1 year

Text

uncanny ii. resemblance ∯

♡° pairing. . . lee heeseung x male reader

♡° genre. . . smut, fluff, angst

♡° summary. . . so you ended up with your twin sister’s boyfriend... what a turn of events. heeseung is definitely your dream guy, but little did you expect all of what exactly would unfold once you got him.

♡° includes. . . bottom!reader, even more horny bisexual hee!! lmao, lots & lots of kissing, dry humping, possessive heeseung, finger sucking, car sex (almost), blow job, orgasm prolonging, unprotected sex (dont irl!!)

♡° wc. . . 7k

°A/N. . . requested by many !! months & months later... finally 😮💨, i am so happy to be posting this!! i had no idea that so many of you would enjoy Uncanny, & i never intended on adding a second part. im just so mad it took me so long to write— so i’m sorry guys, i really hope its not awful !!!

. . . .% Part 1 ♡ % . . . .

ㅤ

“so.... you two are now... dating...?”

three pairs of very beady yet confused eyes lingered before you in your family living room. their glances examined you head to toe, along with a certain 6' ft male who stood beside you.

you could feel your palm growing clammy in heeseung’s hold as you both timidly nodded, desperate to read the intent behind the deadpanned expression on your parents’ faces.

despite heeseung’s tall and stronger build, he almost felt his weakening knees give from beneath him as he caught eye contact with your sister-- his ex-- who had an ominously suspicious look on her face. he had seen this expression on her quite often, but was never the recipient. it was less than ideal.

“well, y/n, do you really like him?” your mother chimed, her puzzled tone cracking the silence.

all you could do was nod once again, slightly more fervently at the question. if only ‘like’ was enough to describe your feelings for the equally-as-nervous boy who stood fiddling with your fingers.

“and heeseung? do you really like my son?” your father spoke up this time, eyebrows transfixed as he sunk deeper into his leather recliner.

heeseung found himself only able to offer a shy nod as well, the soles of his shoes feeling as if they were hovering over lava from the heat of the atmosphere.

“words, son.” your dad sternly quipped.

it was unbelievable to heeseung how these two adults, whom he'd usually seen as secondary parents, suddenly felt like stone cold, life-sentencing supremes.

“yes–” the poor boy coughed, clearing his throat. “yes sir.”

the fluttering of your heart after hearing his confession out loud threatened to distract you from the anxiety that surged through your nerves, but one glance up at your sister snatched you back to reality.

you couldn’t believe any of this was actually happening. normally, you and your twin shamelessly spilled everything you thought and felt to one another without a second thought - but you could only feel like shit as your mind resurfaced flashbacks of heeseung working your body in ways you’d only dreamt about, while your sibling, who just so happened to be his former lover, lingered cluelessly outside your room.

you and the older male had debated often after your first hookup whether or not this was something you guys should make public, out of fear of what your sister would think.

but you knew you were too in love with heeseung– and always have been, to keep things suppressed. especially since neither of you showed signs of leaving what happened as a simple one night stand. so you chose the route of honesty, which lead you to the painfully awkward confession in front of your high council of family members.

“okay.” your mother, sister, and father chirped in a perky unison.

the air shifted, the imaginary weight your shoulders bore suddenly vanishing into nothingness.

“okay!?” you and heeseung blurted in an equally perplexed harmony.

“yeah, okay!” your sister responded, on her own this time.

she uncrossed her folded arms, picking up the laundry basket she was previously interrupted from lugging to her room. “whatever keeps mr. clingy out of my hair so often. he’s a lot like an abandoned puppy at times, you know... was starting to get a bit draining.”

“i’m... right here, you know.” heeseung mumbled out in response to your sister’s teasing. you noticed the tint of his cheeks growing red and couldn’t help but softly chuckle.

“honey, don’t be a bully.” your dad replied before your parents emitted a couple giggles themselves.

“i’m sure what she meant to say was,” your mother started, standing to grab her purse and approach heeseung. “we love having you around. you’ve been a part of this family for some time now, so as long as you take care of our son as well as you did our daughter, there’s no reason for us to not give you our blessing.”

and with that, she gave heeseung and yourself a quick peck to the cheeks before sauntering out of the room. she was followed shortly by the others, leaving just the two of you motionless as mannequins; both dumbfounded.

that was... easy. too easy.

the back of your head landed gently against your pillows as heeseung pressed a deep kiss into your lips, giddy giggles escaping the both of you.

the taller male’s hands casually roamed under your tank top as his mouth nearly swallowed you whole, pliantly groaning as he felt your fingers dance into his locks. his confidence was through the roof, the adrenaline from the confession still running ramped through his bones.

he rolled his hips flush into yours, smirking into the makeout after absorbing one of your small whimpers.

“what... even just happened?” you sighed out as heeseung moved to nip at your jaw.

“i have no fucking clue.” he chuckled between nibbles on your sensitive skin, tracing over the area under your ear with his eager tongue.

you moaned, tugging his head back to reconnect your lips and feel that very tongue glide over yours. you reveled in the feeling of his hands massaging you beneath your shirt, not even the slightest bit surprised when he lifted it high enough to place kisses on your tummy.

“i just don’t- seriously... how did we pull that off??” you babbled, genuinely baffled while heeseung adjusted between your legs into an easier position for planting pecks along your hips.

he hummed into your skin, propping one of your legs around his torso. “i don’t know, i guess we’re way better than we thought.”

heeseung’s kisses started growing hungrier, and he took the liberty to suck a few marks on the surface of your stomach amidst your confused rambling. your hips started instinctively rolling into his chest, and you bit back a moan from the friction of your member grinding against his solid pecs.

“seunggie, wait, literally everyone is still home...”

“so? we got the green light, didn’t we?” the boy taunts before playfully tugging on the waistband of your shorts.

you chuckle before nudging his hands away, scooting yourself back to sit up against your bed’s headboard. “i think so... but let’s talk about that first.”

heeseung huffed while blinking his gorgeous lashes at you, dramatically hovering above the empty silhouette of where your body was.

“talk about...?”

“well, the word my parents used. dating.” you uttered as if it were a curse word.

“you... want to talk about the word ‘dating’?” he questioned, shifting to prop his head up with an elbow.

“not the word itself, stupid- i just..... i think-” you stumbled, laughing to yourself while also resisting that familiar rosy blush from spreading on your cheeks. "i think if we’re officially a thing...”

heeseung hesitatingly nodded along with your words, his beautiful brown orbs watching you intently as if he was trying to read your mind.

“then shouldn’t we, like, do the things people who date do before we keep messing around? like,, don’t we have to do that sappy couple stuff before sex?”

heeseung couldn’t help but release a loud chuckle at your adorableness, attempting to muffle it in a nearby pillow. god, you wanted to at least pretend to be aggravated, but his laugh was just too damn cute.

“you’ve never dated anyone, have you?” he asked when he eventually finished his cackles.

“...is it that obvious?” you chime, your signature blush undeniably as present as ever.

the older boy cooed at you, quickly sitting up and pulling you into the empty space between his lap. he pecked your lips, running his thumb along the bridge of your nose and fondly examining your flustered face, a little too long for your liking, before finally speaking up.

“i mean, if my baby boy wants a date, then that’s what we’ll do. you’re right, we should get to know each other more first.”

you wanted to melt into a puddle and trickle all over his lap right then and there, and absolutely would if you physically could. you felt small, but protected, under heeseung’s gaze. something about the way he looked at you made your insides ignite with a feeling you’d never felt so intensely before, and you started to realize you were down… bad.

“okay!” you triumphed brightly.

you cupped your hands around his neck, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on his forehead before staring back into his eyes.

“where do you wanna go?” heeseung inquired, nonchalantly leaning back on his arms propped behind him.

“i don’t know? we just established i’m the one who’s never done this before!” you admitted while shifting your eyes down to his prominent adams apple, grazing your finger over it.

“fine, it’ll be a surprise. and you’re gonna love it. this friday.”

everything just sounded so cool coming from him, and he spoke in that careless manner that was just too hot to keep you focused.

“perfect,” you feigned confidence, having transitioned to fiddling with his hoodie’s drawstrings. “and... no more kissing until then.”

heeseung let out an exaggerated gasp, eyebrows furrowing at you.

you could only chuckle before being completely tackled back into your mattress, your boyfriend’s lips as relentless as ever.

so much for that rule.

two weeks later, you and heeseung were sickeningly attached by the hips— and lips— more than ever.

the boy had swooped you off your feet in every sense of the term. he took you on your first date, a dual movie-picnic date on his front lawn wrapped in warm blankets (all too cliché, but still didn’t fail to spark a storm of butterflies in your stomach), which led to your second. and then third. and then fourth... and they only got better each time.

after living a long, agonizing year of being secretly infatuated with him, you weren’t sure if it were physically possible to even fall for this guy any more.

yet, you were wrong.

through solely a few mere weeks, myriad of walks around town, and late night drives, you were seeing so many more sides of heeseung than you could’ve imagined. his charms, humor, honesty, chivalry, and even his flaws. you were taking in all of it. and he was learning so much more about you, beyond the fact of being the former love of his life’s twin brother.

you were growing obsessed with each other, and it showed. at no point in the day could heeseung keep his hands to himself anymore, and you were hardly complaining.

it even came down to the time you had to actually pry his lips from your neck in a public restaurant so that a stunned waitress, the unfortunate soul to serve your table, could finally take your order.

he just loved to show you off;

no matter where you were.

his tinge of possessiveness was a bit embarrassing at first, but god it was kinda hot. you were so caught up in the total package of lee heeseung that you hardly had sense to worry about anything else; not caring if you were in the seclusion of your rooms or a grocery store parking lot when he would snake one of his hands down your pants to greet your erection.

every little thing he did drove you crazy, and even more so vice versa.

little did you know, heeseung was operating from a slightly different source of obsession.

you sat in the passenger seat of heeseung's red mercedes, soft rnb music playing through your boyfriend's speakers as one of his hands securely held the back of your neck while he lathered your lips in passionate, lustful kisses.

you moaned as heeseung swirled his tongue in your mouth, taking his sweet time in tasting you and using his free hand to guide yours down to his crotch. you were hesitant, but couldn't resist pressing your palm to his member to feel how hard he already was.

heeseung exhaled from the pleasure, wasting no time in maneuvering your hand beneath his waistband. he swallowed a gasp that escaped your lips once he started shamelessly bucking his hips up into your hold.

it took strength, but you willed yourself to break apart from the kiss and give him a nervous look, considering the two of you were parked in front of his parent's house in broad daylight.

"babe," you spoke, catching your breath. "we're about to go inside, we shouldn't."

your boyfriend smirked at you, hearing your warning but noticing how you still hadn't retracted your hand from inside his pants. his eyes also caught the slowly forming tent in your own jeans.

"exactly, that's why we should get this out of the way now." he half whined, needily leaning over into your space and tugging at your hips. "my mom takes forever to get dinner ready, you know I can't wait."

his plush lips were immediately on your neck before you could rebut, him aiming straight for your weak spot. damn, he knew exactly how to kill your resolve in an instant.

you rolled your eyes, partially from annoyance but also from the way he groaned while sucking on your soft flesh. you fumbled a bit, climbing over the center console and settling atop of his thighs. his satisfied grin only grew wider before rushing to capture your lips again, his kisses as addicting as ever.

heeseung's large hands roamed up and down your back as he widened his jaw to deepen the kiss, and quickly settled them on your hips to grind you forwards on his lap.

your arms found purchase on his broad shoulders as you molded your mouths more fervently. heeseung repeated the action in a rhythm, pleased by how simple it was to get reactions out of you.

jolts of excitement tingled through your legs as your clothed bulges ran along each other, the feeling heavenly as you began bucking your hips on your own accord without his assistance. heeseung's hands snuck their way under your shirt and returned to roaming your back. he gently dragged his short nails along your skin, causing goosebumps to grow array all over you.

your own hands began unbuttoning his flannel and dipping under his collar, the familiar smoothness of his shoulders warm on your fingertips, helping settle your anxieties of being seen by the neighbors, or worse– his own parents who were inside the house mere steps away.

you couldn't understand how heeseung always had you in these sort of positions, but judging from the rock hard length pressing between your thighs, he was clearly into it.

heeseung could still feel your nervousness, and leaned back amused as he watched the embarrassment and pleasure battle for dominance on your face. he kissed the tip of your nose and chuckled.

"your sister used to love making out to this song." he mumbled in a low tone, dipping down to wrap his lips around your adams apple while simultaneously turning up the radio's volume.

you could barely register the odd statement as you threw your head back, eyes fluttering closed when heeseung started suckling and licking on the column of your throat in sync with the melodic tune that filled the car.

it was bliss, but just as you felt yourself drawing close to your high, the sentence rang through your head again.

your sister? this song? in this car?

suddenly, the image of your sister being in your exact same position– which she undoubtedly had been in several times before, flashed through your mind.

it caused you to jolt a little bit. heeseung paid no mind to the sudden action, thinking it was another one of your cute responses to his ministrations.

"uhm... hee?" your hips slowed to a halt, a bit of that familiar guilt settling into you again.

at first you thought it was just mindless sex talk, but as you had delved deeper into your official relationship with heeseung, you caught on to how often he would still talk about your twin, consistently making comparisons and recalling similarities between the two of you.

he wasn't necessarily wrong, but it was getting weirder as it progressed. you had just convinced yourself it was natural due to how similar you were with your sibling, and kept things pushing without dwelling on it for too long.

"hee?" you spoke again, opening your eyes when you hadn't gotten a response.

he hummed against your neck, sloppy kisses never ending in the crook of your neck. you managed to draw back, gently pushing his shoulders to disconnect from his lips. he looked at you quizzically, yet adoration still beaming in his eyes.

"i've been meaning to talk to you about-"

you were cut off by the abnormally loud ringing of his cell phone, which sat lodged in one of the car's cup holders. he sighed, telling you to wait just a moment when he read the caller id.

"hello? yeah mom, we just pulled up. we're coming in now." he exhaled, gently rubbing your thigh.

a huff of disappointment left your nose, but you were semi-grateful you didn't actually have to have the awkward conversion right before meeting his parents.

you gathered yourself back together, clasping the first few buttons of heeseung's shirt back together for him as he flattened the small wrinkles on yours.

he opened the car door, helping you climb out of his lap and onto the pavement, where you readjusted yourself in the reflection of the car's glass.

"after you, prince." heeseung gestured to his home's front door.

"but, it's your house." you responded.

"yeah, but... mom likes it when people make strong first impressions." the older boy grinned.

you took your bottom lip in between your teeth, a pool of nervousness returning to your gut as you realized you really had never met heeseung's parents before.

sure, they were all too familiar with your sister from their year together, but you were an entirely different story - an entirely more complicated story.

you knocked on the large glass front door nervously, heeseung standing just behind your shoulder. he leaned down to whisper.

"they don't take to strangers very well. if you get scared, tap my leg. they can be pretty tough."

heeseung was a liar.

you had received nothing but beaming smiles and suffocating hugs as soon as you stepped through the door.

you had prepared to walk into a homophobic hellfire, not knowing what sort of glares and comments would be thrown your way. setting the fact that you were a boy aside, you still had plenty to worry about.

heeseung left a committed relationship, albeit not by his own choice, just to end up with his girlfriend’s brother was quite a unique situation - yet it seems his parents hadn’t even thought about that as they chattered away through dinner table conversation. shit, the wholesome smile you were met with the second his mom opened the door would be tattooed in your mind forever.

“so, y/n dear, heeseung hasn’t been giving you too much trouble now, has he?” his mother asked as she cut her steak into tiny pieces from across the table.

“our son can be so lazy sometimes,” his dad chimed in with a chuckle. “gotta make sure he’s not constantly slacking off.”

you laughed, feeling like heeseung was being regarded as your new employee. you caught a slight frown on his face from his parents teasing, and you reached up to run your hand through his hair.

“i guess you could say he isn’t too bad.”

he looked to you quickly, an adoring smile growing, seemingly grateful you hadn’t joined in his parent’s shenanigans. or so he thought.

“except for when he takes forever to get out of bed. or to go run errands. or to-”

“alright!” he huffed, frustratingly spooning some food together on his plate.

you all erupted with laughter, he was so cute when he pouted. it was nice seeing lee heeseung, the confident athlete, get all blushy and shy around his parents - his usual commanding demeanor nowhere to be found as he sheepishly shoveled broccoli into his cheeks. yet another side of him you hadn’t expected to see, but made you fall just a little more.

you found yourself in heeseung’s room after dinner, a surprise to no one, after helping his parents clean the dishes afterwards.

you had taken the opportunity to spend more time laughing and teasing heeseung alongside his parents, so it was no shocker that he quickly whisked you away to his own private space - desperate to have all of your attention fully on him.

you giggled as you were ushered into his bedroom, his hands never leaving your waist until the door was securely shut.

“your parents are so much fun.” you beamed at the taller boy whose blush still lingered on his face.

“yeah, probably a little too much fun.” he huffed, walking over and plopping on his bed.

your eyes fondly gazed around his bedroom, surprisingly still somewhat childlike, figurines and pictures of his youth still lining the shelves. a genuine smile grew on your face. you really shouldn’t be shocked, he did often have the tendencies of a big baby.

“you know, mr. lee, you’re not all that of a tough guy.” you commented, reaching up to examine one of his action figures.

“oh, really? what makes you think that?” he chuckled back, discreetly unbuttoning his shirt while you were distracted.

“yeah… i don’t know why you put up the act so often, you’re really just a little softie. like i remember whe-” the words halted in their tracks when you turned to taunt him more, but froze at the view of his toned abs glaring right at you, jeans slightly lowered on his hips.

“is that so?” he responded lowly, tilting his head to the side. “why don’t you bring that little ass over here and see how much of a softie i really am?”

his words sent a wave of arousal straight to your cock, which you immediately tried to will from springing to action so quickly.

you let out a half-spirited scoff, trying to appear unbothered as he sat there and widened his legs while staring you down. but damn, the golden evening light that shone through his window was hitting him in all the right places. his solid abdomen lured you in while he lolled his head back, teasing you with the prominent grooves of his neck that had you practically squeezing your legs together.

damnit, he was temptation personified – too effortlessly hot for you to resist.

before you knew it your legs brought you to stand between his. he cocked an eyebrow before giving you another annoyingly sexy smirk and nodding his chin towards your own top.

“off.”

your face instantly surged with heat, but you couldn’t help but obey with the sudden authority he spoke with. in seconds your shirt was discarded and on the floor by his feet, a chill crawling across your topless chest.

“you know, i’m not really a fan of how much you used my parents to tease me tonight,” he said monotonously, raking a warm hand up your exposed torso. “i think you were enjoying it wayyy too much.”

his thumb found one of your perked nipples, rubbing in firm circles. you moaned at the sensation, just to hurriedly cover your mouth with your own hand, the realization that you were at his parents’ house hitting you once again.

“hee… wait.” you responded, attempting to take a step back.

heeseung only chuckled before catching you still with his free arm, continuing to play with your sensitive bud.

“where’s all the laughter now? you were having so much fun earlier, remember? let's keep that fun going.”

your boyfriend then leaned in to run his warm tongue over your other exposed nipple, causing you to hold back another whimper as your hands flew to his hair. he pulled your body closer as he started suckling on the bud, and you didn’t have it in you to fight it anymore. once he started working his mouth on you like this, you were puddy.

you cursed how weak you were to his actions, but even he could sense how badly you wanted him at all times.

“s-someones the jealous type, huh?” you stuttered, sounding way less intimidating than you wanted. “even over your parents, hm?”

he released your bud with a wet pop, dark eyes shooting straight up to yours before returning his lustful gaze to your body. your limbs started to quake with desire.

“how could i not be? when i have all of this just for me…”

both of his hands held your hips as he licked a long, teasing strip up your torso before finishing it with a peck to your chest. he locked eyes with you again, his determined pupils staring deep into your trembling, desperate ones. he enunciated his next words slow and smooth, like honey.

“just… for… me…”

you pounced first. you couldn’t take it anymore, the alluring mischief in his eyes and addictive touch all over your physique had you grinding your topless bodies together like animals. your limbs entangled with his as your mouths waged war together, the possessive bites against your lips sending your mind into a daze.

he effortlessly flipped you over, taking the advantage to grind down on you even stronger one last time before working the zipper of your jeans. he stripped the both of you down to your boxers in record time, licking his lips as he watched you begin to palm your own growing bulge - putting on a show for him.

“you’re going to absolutely kill me.” heeseung muttered, trying to control the raging need surging throughout him.

“your parents might do that for me, if they catch us.” you speak with a newfound confidence, hiding the fact that you were completely mortified of that exact occurrence.

heeseung chuckled before shimmying your last layer of underwear off, leaving you fully exposed for him as he lowered his own and started pumping his unbelievably large member.

“we won’t have to worry about it if you can stay quiet, prince.”

you thought heeseung was about to just dive into you raw as he lowered his muscular body to yours, but relaxed when you felt him reach under his pillow to grab a bottle of lube. your eyes grew wide.

“you planned this!” you gasped, fauxing a complaint.

“shh shhh.” heeseung hushed you, tapping his fingers against your lips.

narrowing your gaze at him, you didn’t hesitate to trap his fingers between your lips, emitting a low groan from your throat as you ran your tongue over his digits. you successfully caught him off guard, if his quiet gasp was anything to go by, but a sly grin crept on his face.

“naughty boy, trying to do my job for me. are you that excited?” he commented before yanking his digits from your mouth, chuckling at your pout.

he leaned down to swiftly place a flurry of pecks on your plump lips while lubing his fingers up, right before he reached down to push them into your entrance. you moaned into the air much louder than before, causing his other hand to toss the bottle of lube and clamp your mouth shut.

“god, baby, do you want them to hear us? control yourself.” he smirked, finding all too much pleasure in the way your eyes rolled back when he began pumping his digits in and out of you.

a mantra of muffled sounds flew from your mouth into heeseung’s palm, and thankfully so, since your body had already compromised your self control. when he finally pulled his fingers from your ass, you whined at the loss of contact.

“heeseung, please fuck me already. please.” you breathlessly begged once he removed his palm from your mouth.

again, heeseung mercilessly chuckled down at your state.

“such a needy boy… so fucked out and i haven’t even done much.”

you wanted to banter back like you usually would, but this man had already reduced you into such a desperate mess with nothing but a couple minutes and his hands. he learned so quickly how your body worked, and how much of an affect his words had on you. once you were turned on by him, you wanted– needed every ounce of him as soon as you could have him.

feeling merciful, heeseung lined up his girth with your entrance, pushing in slowly. this time, it was an equal struggle for both of you to keep yourselves quiet, the size of his length and intense look into your eyes causing you to melt while your hole sucked him in so desperately.

“fuck, fuck. still such a tight ass. my boyfriend really loves my cock, hm?” heeseung grunted, trying to keep himself together when he saw tears of pleasure form at the corner of your eyes.

you nodded your head, unable to form words at the pleasurable pain you felt. your fingers curled into his dark locs as he lowered his head to sink his teeth into your neck, sucking marks there in order to keep quiet. you were fighting with everything in you to not scream and beg him for more, for him to fully consume you.

“h-hee,” you whined, trying to keep it a whisper. “more.”

your hands sprawled along his toned back, feeling his muscles ripple as he began rutting his hips into yours, releasing deep moans into your neck. the vibration had you feel like you were levitating, a sensation only heeseung seemed to bring you.

legs sliding along his strong thighs, you wrapped them around his torso as he picked up in speed, your vision blurring over at his power.

“you’re so sexy, baby. sucking me in so well, making me lose my fucking mind.” he commented between the harsh nips along your jaw, sweat starting to bead around his forehead. “what if my parents came in here and saw me wrecking you like this? would you like that? my mom seeing me do all of this to you right here after breaking up with your sister.”

you squeezed your legs tighter around his torso as he spoke, causing you to moan out loud once feeling your leaky cock rub against his solid abs. before heeseung could shush you, you clenched down on his fat length while your liquids shot out over his chest - him finding the moment so hot that it was only a second before he was emptying out in you as well.

he collapsed on top of you after as you both silently gasped for breath, but you welcomed the crushing feeling.

you couldn’t believe you just screwed him in his childhood room, with his parents just on the other side of the door, praying they didn’t hear you. but knowing how turned on heeseung was by risks, you should’ve known this was gonna be how the night would end.

after just sitting in eachothers embrace for a while, you finally sat up, heeseung leaning over to place even more kisses on your glossed over lips, never getting enough of you.

“lets get cleaned up and head to bed, prince. my parent’s already know you’re staying the night.”

“staying the night?” you questioned tilted your head. you saw another sinister glint in his eye as he kissed you one more time.

“yeah, you still gotta meet my grandparents tomorrow.”

you drug your feet through the threshold of your home, utterly exhausted. it had been a long day of class, filled with a suspicious amount of exams and lectures compared to normal, but you were relieved to finally be done with the day.

heeseung had texted you just as you had begun driving home, telling you he was already at your place helping your dad with chores around the house. you smiled to yourself, still giddy over how perfect he was and thankful for the loving relationship between him and your family – you couldn’t wait to finally see him after such a draining day.

it was oddly silent as you walked through the house, failing to have found heeseung when visiting your parent’s room in hopes to collapse in his arms as soon as possible.

you heard giggling rise in volume as you crossed the house and neared your room. you drew closer to your door, hearing muffled sounds just behind it. when you curiously turned the doorknob, the sight of heeseung looming over your twin sister, mouth practically devouring her, caused you to stand frozen - blood running cold under your skin.

you stood speechless, tears beginning to well as you watched their lips passionately interlock in a noisy makeout just like they had done months before, tongues brazenly running along each other as wanton moans filling the atmosphere.

you tried to speak but could only choke out a sob, your knees threatening to betray you. heeseung and your sister paused, turning their heads towards you after hearing the sound. they both stared at you pathetically, and simply chuckled before heeseung returned his grip on your own headboard, continuing to thrust his tongue into your sister’s mouth - the latter resuming to claw at your boyfriend’s naked back and moaning smugly.

you were stunned, and wanted to scream, cry, or throw anything you could get your hands on at them…

but instead, you woke up.

your body jolted up in bed, met with a dimmed room and a ray of moonlight beaming onto you - reflecting a sheen of sweat on your face.

glancing around the darkened room, your eyes found the clock at read 1:25 am. not far from your line of sight was heeseung himself sprawled out beside you, softly snoring away with an arm draped over your waist. you noticed you were in one of his baggy shirts, the previously comforting smell almost causing you to grow nauseous.

you couldn’t control your breathing, stinging feelings of betrayal and embarrassment still burning in your gut from your dream - rather, nightmare.

you let out a deep sigh once you finally realized everything you had seen in your sleep state wasn’t real… everything except the tears. you felt salty droplets drip from your chin and onto heeseung’s arm, who began to stir.

humiliated, you tried to shuffle back down into your prior position in order to avoid waking up heeseung, failing to soften your fast breathing or stop your flow of tears.

but alas, as if your uncomfortability set off an inner alarm of his, heeseung had awoken. you felt him lean up on his elbow, arm lazily pulling you towards him.

“whats wrong, y/n?” he asked in a groggy voice.

immediately, another stream of tears raced down your cheek at the sound of his voice. it was embarrassing how worked up you had managed to get from a simple dream, but you almost felt sick even being this close to him, although he had done nothing wrong.

it had finally become too much; your insecurity and constant comparisons to your sister had caught up to you. the continuous chipping away at your rose-colored view of heeseung had ultimately found you, and it hurt like a bitch. your intrusive thoughts were convincing you that you were nothing but a rebound-by-blood, a second best option.

refusing to have heeseung see you like this - a sobbing mess in the middle of the night, you remained facing away from him, not answering his initial call.

“y/n.” he spoke again, a little more cognisant. he turned your body over, squinting at you through the dim lighting, before his eyes gently widened. “what happened? bad dream?”

he was right, but it was more so your subconscious so cruelly giving you a visionary of what you had secretly been scared of this whole time. sitting up, you wiped away the wet streaks on your face.

“heeseung… do you like me?”

the older male furrowed his brows. “babe, what? i-”

“im serious. do you like, me?” you insisted, doubt slithering its way onto your expression.

“where the hell is this coming from?” heeseung sighed, pushing himself to fully sit up.

“everytime we’re together, you always talk about her. how much i look like her, sound like her, the things i do… the things we do…"

as much as it pained you to finally ask this question out loud, you couldn't keep it in anymore.

"you’re not over my sister, are you?”

your beady eyes held a tundra of anxiety in them, with heeseung’s almost bulging out of his head.

“you make me feel like i’m not even my own person, hee.” you continued, voice cracking between sobs. “you’re still hung up on her and you just use me, don't you? just to feel like you’re still close to her.”

heeseung was baffled at your accusation, and was ready to rebut everything, until a wave of awareness crashed over him. his gaze softened, hearing the doubt and self-consciousness in your voice. he turned his body to face you directly.

“y/n. i won’t lie to you. when your sister dumped me, my entire world felt like it was shattering. i had gotten use to a life with her, and i did have genuinely strong feelings for her… i thought she was my everything.”

you could feel yet another dam breaking behind your eyelids, closing them shut in order to keep the waterworks from flowing.

“but,” he spoke firmly, taking both of your hands in his before you could retract them. “i love you, y/n. i love you. when i started seeing you, i did think it would just be a way for me to move on, but you are amazing. so fucking amazing. everything you do, all you've done for others,, i’ve fallen so fucking hard for the person that you are. you’ve made me feel things she never did, and never could. i’m sorry i’d been so caught up on your sister before, i guess i just wasn’t ready to move on as soon as i thought. but there is absolutely nobody i’d rather be with than you… right now, in this moment. i promise you that with every fiber of my entire being.”

with that, the well overflowed, streams of tears treading down your skin and landing on the interlocked knuckles of you and heeseung. you knew telling the truth, his words smashing down and easing away each wall of doubt you had in your mind.

you were so unbelievably in love with this man, and a tender wave of relief radiated throughout your body when you caught the reassuring smile he gave you, closing the distance to attach your lips in a loving kiss.

the kiss deepened as you grabbed the sides of his face, pouring all of your emotions into the gates of his lips, melting into the comfort of his affection. his long arms wrapped around you and pulled you under him, meeting no resistance.

he moaned into your mouth when you licked at his lips, letting you in easily. he kissed you sensually, slower than any other time before, refusing to detach your mouths until you absolutely needed to breathe.

“never gonna make you doubt how much i love you again,” he whispered into your neck as he started laying sweet kisses to your soft skin, hands gently roaming every inch of you.

his supple lips felt like heaven as they followed his path down your body, taking his time to suck marks into every inch as he lowered himself. when he reached your hips he left wet open-mouthed kisses along the waistband of your boxers, looking up at you with his beautiful orbs for permission as his hands tugged at the seams.

the butterflies returned when you nodded at him, running your hands along the grooves of his biceps. he removed your underwear, not wasting any time in placing kisses to your shaft, chills shooting up your spine at the sensation. his nose poked at your pelvis as he lightly dragged his lips up to your tip, before taking your length whole in his mouth.

you gasped as the warmth of his mouth, hardly having the energy to react to the pleasure. your head fell to the side of the pillow as your erection was soothed over by heeseung’s talented tongue, flattening along your member licking up and down before he started bobbing his head.

his large hands kept your body still from squirming as he showed your cock attention, occasionally humming and sending more waves of electricity through your legs.

“feel s’good… gonna come.” you muttered not long after he started, only causing a satisfied groan to rumble through his throat.

he released your member and lowered just to prod his tongue at your rim, before suckling gently on your balls and recapturing your cock in his mouth in one swift motion. a couple more strokes of his precise tongue and you were spilling into heeseung’s mouth, shuddering when he didn’t waste a drop.

he repositioned back above your body, and you had only then noticed he’d slept in just his boxers, his neck chain dangling in front of your face. you ran your hands up his toned torso, once again growing obsessed with the feeling of his skin on yours.

the look of utter adoration in his eyes felt heavy on your form, and you could already feel yourself wanting more when he dipped down to place searing kisses to your jaw and grind your hips together.

“i love you baby, let me keep making you feel good.” he spoke, nipping at your earlobe while reaching down to stroke your member back to attention.

“please, baby. i love you too. and i want you so bad, forever.” you admitted, feeling the breath of a light chuckle against your cheek.

just as you wished, his thick length had entered you, gliding along your walls in no time with a delicious friction that you never got tired of. except this time, more than just desire and arousal, the friction brought a comfort, a feeling of love you could feel surging throughout your whole body.

“you can have all of me, whenever you want, prince. i belong only to you.”

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misslovasstuff · 1 year

Text

Dazai x reader

Prove it

“Her? Mhm, well….”- Dazai itches his head, shifting his gaze to the floor. - She is nice. Yeah, nice.”

Atsushi and Kunikida raise their eyebrows as the bandaged brunette seemed to avoid a simple question:

Do you like Y/n?

“I mean, we don’t doubt her niceness, what we’re asking is if you fancy her by any chance?”- Oh, Kunikida was enjoying too much what seemed to have turned into a silly interrogation. He fixes his glasses with a smirk, leaning over Dazai’s shoulder:

“She’s totally your type, isn’t she?”

Dazai sighs, shaking his head with a vague smile.

“Just because Kunikida-kun doesn’t have an interesting love life it doesn’t mean you have to start investigating mine.”- he claims with a silly voice, once again provoking his colleagues’ nerves as Atsushi could have sworn he heard Kunikida’s glasses break as he grabs Dazai by the collar of his shirt, whispering all sort of funny insults, to which Dazai is completely immune by now.

“Kunikida-san, perhaps Dazai-san is not comfortable talking about his relationship with Y/n. Perhaps it is better to leave him be haha.”- Atsushi claims with a weak smile, trying to calm the chaotic situation.

Dazai sighs, rubbing his temple then explains:

“Look, to extinguish your curiosity, there is absolutely nothing going on between me and her. Are you blind to fail to see that she has no interest whatsoever in me? Plus, I’ve heard from Yosano she’s seeing someone already so…”

Kunikida widens his eyes to a rare sight; Dazai sighing and looking out the window as if the most beautiful tragedy had happened to him. The kind of misfortune that makes people write poems, listen to music and take long walks by themselves. The tragedy of loving someone you can’t ever have that makes you fragile but yet unbreakable, strong but weak in the heart and it gives you a slap back to a reality that you don’t want to accept. It hadn’t occurred to Dazai before, thus he wonders what this feeling is about and if he can do anything about it.

“Have you ever been rejected by a woman before?”- Atsushi asks, after which he hits himself mentally for asking such a question.

“No. - Dazai answers frankly, to which Kunikida scoffs.

“Well, at least Y/n will ground you a bit.”- he claims, putting his hands in his pockets. - How does it feel to love someone you can’t have?”

“Terrible.”- Dazai says, seemingly not sad, nor happy, he had a rather empty expression on his face, not letting out much emotion to understand what was really going on inside his head. - I see her, and I am struck by her beauty. God, when her eyes meet mine, each and every motioning becomes more intense for my heart. When she greets me and smiles at me so genuinely and gently like she knows how much that smile affects me, making even the sun jealous of her radiance and cheerfulness. Don’t let me get into how talented she is, and her cooking skills, oh and also did you know that she reads poetry? She gave me her favourite book and underlined all verses she found beautiful and meaningful. On page 63, poem two, she had underlined two verses which were:

“I may not know your heart, but it knows me quite well. Am I resident or a foreigner to it?”

And she had written a smiley face on the corner of it, with a little note that said: “Mhm, Dazai?”

Not only that, but she is such a great-

Dazai kept blabbering about how fascinated he was by you while both Kunikida and Atsushi listened and came to a very unbelievable conclusion.

Dazai is so oblivious when he truly falls in love. Either that, or he’s trying to avoid that but still digs the idea of being in love and being loved so beautifully.

“I’m afraid to tell you this buddy but, - Kunikida touches Dazai’s shoulder. - You’re an idiot.”

Atsushi scoffs as he turns around to contain his laughter. Dazai’s face freezes with a smile like 😀

“Homegirl knows you like her, she literally wrote it down, what’s wrong with you?”- Kunikida snaps at Dazai, who now seems to be confused.

Little did they know that you were listening to all this go down, hardly containing your laughter.

The truth is, you and Dazai had been together for a while and no one is the agency knows. You told Yosano you were seeing someone, but funnily enough, even though they’re detectives, they don’t have a clue about your relationship, and you’re thinking is because your lover messes with their heads.

“Kunikida-kun, stop tormenting me! I’m telling you, she doesn’t like me. End of discussion.”- Dazai claims, getting up from his seat and stretching a bit.

“Where do you think you’re going?”- Kunikida asks as he watches Dazai’s tender figure walk away.

“To think about this unbearable pain of my weak heart, since my friends and colleagues don’t care.”

Atsushi holds back Kunikida from going after Dazai:

“He’ll never admit it that he likes her.”- Atsushi claims which gives Kunikida a rather sinister idea.

“Oh he will, I have a plan.”

There is a sudden change of atmosphere which leaves Atsushi a bit scared.

“Kunikida-san, w-what exactly are you planning to do?”- he asks, noticing a smirk from his mentor.

A little bit later/ Coffee shop

You are taking a sip of your hot coffee as rain hits the window by your seat. Although it is raining, you were feeling rather warm, and even though you were by yourself, you were fully enjoying your own company until the door of the cafe opens.

“I’ll take a black coffee, please.”- a unfamiliar voice says, which gets your attention. You turn your head and notice a tall man, build figure and blonde hair. He turns and faces you while waiting for his coffee.

“You don’t mind if I sit next to you while I wait for my coffee, yes?”- he asks with a beautiful smile, blue eyes shining right through.

“Mhm, sure it’s okay.”- you reply, mirroring a smile and scanning the man upfront.

The probability of a very handsome person, coming to this coffee shop while I’m the only one here and all the seats are empty, asking to sit next to me, and furthermore-

“So, what is such a beautiful lady doing here all by herself?”- he asks, looking at your hands holding the coffee cup, then looking directly at your eyes which made you gulp hardly.

“Drinking coffee.”- you reply rather coldly, not warning to give this guy the wrong impression.

“By yourself? Have you no one to accompany you? Maybe a boyfriend of yours?”- he continues to bring up weird questions. What was even weirder, was the fact that he was reaching for your hand, now holding it.

“Since you’re not answering, I’m assuming you do not have a man in your life. Such a catastrophe indeed. - he brings your hand close to his lips, caressing it. - I can offer myself as a candidate.”

“She’s not running any elections. - a sudden voice from behind makes your heart drop. - if that were the case, I would have known.”

You glance over your shoulder and see Dazai. He reached for your hand, shooing away the other guy’s who immediately flinches to the touch.

“Is it a habit of yours to approach lonely women in coffee shops? That’s kinda desperate and disrespectful.”- he continues, glaring at the guy who had widened his eyes.

“I’m just waiting for my coffee.”

“Wait for your coffee somewhere else. - Dazai claims with a cold tone of voice, making you shiver in what you would describe fear, but with a hint of pleasure.

He was so hot right now, for real.

“She didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend.”- the guy claims as he gets up from his seat.

“She doesn’t need to inform you about anything, really. Plus, I’m never too far away. - Dazai winks at you, getting your cheeks all heated up.

Now, - Dazai smiles, - get out of my sight.”

The guy gets out of the coffee shop, forgetting about his order which was now being served in your table.

“I’ll take that, thank you.”- Dazai claims, sitting down in front of you, not noticing the looks you were giving him.

That is, until he takes a sip and his eyes meet yours.

“Mhm? - he hums. - what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is the fantasy im having to have you right here, right now.”

“Woah woah, belladonna~, - Dazai almost spits his coffee. - What has gotten into you? I mean, I’m not complaining but-

“Dazai, do me right now, I swear I’m barely hanging on.” - you explain as Dazai notices your flushed cheeks and heavy breathing.

Damn, what happened? - he wonders.

He smirks and leans in, whispering: “But the coffee will go cold, love. Are you sure?”

“Don’t start teasing me. - you claim. - or would you rather have me do you at the agency while everyone watches so they can finally know that you are mine?”

“That’s … interesting. You’re so hasty, belladonna. Did I do something to turn you on this much?”- Dazai asks, biting his lip as he looks at you up and down with those gorgeous eyes of his that consumed your entire soul with one single glance.

“The moment right now, you being possessive and all, gosh. That was so hot of you.”- you lean in, exposing a bit of your chest to your boyfriend, on purpose obviously, to which Dazai responds by raising his eyebrows and staring at it for a bit.

“Oh really? You know what else I can heat up?”

“No I don’t know, enlighten me.”- you two lean even closer to one another, as Dazai is ready to whisper in your ear:

“That little -

“ALRIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH, point proven Atsushi let’s go!”- you hear Kunikida shouting from behind. They were not only seeing all this go down, but also orchestrated the whole thing.

“So you guys are together, awwww.”- Atsushi says, giving a weirdly firm handshake to you and Dazai. - Congrats, omg. Dazai-san that was so manly of you, Kunikida-san didn’t predict you’d actually go wild like that-

“Kunikida planned this?”- you ask, giving a disappointing nod.

“A perfect executed plan, and Dazai fell right into it. Now, you’ll stop lying and admit that you love this woman.” - Kunikida claims with a smirk, thinking that his partner would still pretend to be in denial.

“I love Y/n.”- he claims, still sipping his tea and acting unaffected by this whole scene, although in truth he was a bit conflicted on how to feel about it.

Upon his declaration of love, you melt, of course.

You caress his hand, to which Dazai smiles, starting to gesture you weirdly.

He means to get out of here. Now you had heated him up.

You nod, looking at Atsushi and Kunikida who are still looking at you both.

“Oookaaayy, - you get up, Dazai following you. - Since you put us into so much trouble, I guess you can pay for our coffee, no?”

As you walk towards the exit, holding hands, Kunikida’s shoutings accompany you:

“If anything I helped you! You owe me one, Dazai!”

You close the door behind you, giving a small sigh.

“You’re so troublesome you know that?”- you poke his nose, so which he responds by pulling you closer by your waist.

“I put you into so much trouble, huh? You’re the one making me go crazy over and over again.”- Dazai answers as you pull him by the belt of his pants.

Remind me, where were we?”- you ask and he smirks grabbing your hand, leading him to somewhere.

“I’ll remind you shortly.”

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #bungou sd #dazai osamu #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai imagines #bsd anime #bungo stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai x you

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onestepbackwards · 1 year

Text

What’s All the Buzz About? Pt. 2

Hello I am back again with part 2 of my Bee Hybird Submas fic (❁´◡`❁) The fic is inspired by @r0-boat‘s BeeGearStation Au! Please go check out her work, it’s really fun and amazing to read! The designs for the hybrids were heavily inspired by @antidotesprout! Please go check them out as well! Their art is truly amazing! I struggled a bit with this chapter, I will not lie. I apologize if it feels a teeny bit off. It felt like I was a bit everywhere with this one. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Summary: After an unfortunate cave in, you find out the subway tunnels you were trapped in were actually now part of a Bee Hybrid hive. Thankfully, one of the twin Kings have offered to take care of you until you recover! Though you were thankful for the help, you can’t help but be a bit nervous at what you might encounter... CW: Leg injury, minor anxiety attack, spiraling dark thoughts, mentions of a cave in, mentions or coercion, bee hybrids, Hybrid!Submas, King Bee Emmet, King Bee Ingo, Word Count: 6744 words! >Previous: Link >Next: Link ------

Your day has gone from bad, to horrible, to damn near unbelievable. From being coerced into going ‘exploring’ with your boss and coworkers, to being stuck and injured in the subway tunnels from a cave in thanks to said boss and coworkers, then to being found by a King bee hybrid. You didn’t even think King bees existed, let alone hybrid ones. And now? You were being carried bridal style by said King bee hybrid, who happily hummed as he strolled through the tunnels, carrying you to his hive. He had offered to help you rest and recover, assuring you no harm would come to you in his care. Seeing as your leg was completely out of commission, you had no idea where you were in the tunnels, and you were terribly exhausted, you decided to take him up on his offer. ...Not like you had much of a choice. But, he seemed genuine and kind, and you were just so done with everything. You needed a break. Even if it meant being taken to a live hive full of bees, as long as you got some food and sleep, you’d take it at this point. Even if it was a bit odd. Emmet had insisted on carrying you, and you were a bit hesitant at first. However, your leg was in no shape to continue having pressure, so you accepted his offer. He had even insisted on walking instead of flying, worried he might jostle your leg if he flew through the tunnels. You were a little touched he, a complete stranger, seemed to care so much. If you were being honest, you were also a bit mystified by the man, you couldn’t help but look him over. He was tall, taller than any human you had ever seen. No doubt he was easily over 7 feet. The way he held you in his arms made you feel especially small. He also wore a uniform of sorts. It was a white uniform, though he wore a golden tie, and his coat had gold patterns on the sleeves and along the middle. You couldn’t help but think it looked good on him. For some reason, it really fit him, though you couldn’t explain why. …And you may or may not have found it adorable how his antennae fit through the brim of his white hat, twitching every now and again. “See something you like?” He suddenly asked, jogging you out of your thoughts. His eyes playfully glinted as they stared back at your own. You could feel your face heat up, knowing you had been caught staring. His smile seemed to grow almost smug at your blush, and his antennae twitched. “I… Was looking at your uniform. Sorry.” you quickly apologized. Emmet only seemed amused. Your face burned hotter as he continued to stare. Thankfully, he decided to give you a break, and you felt him shift you ever so slightly. “Do you like it? My uniform? It is inspired by the role of the subway boss that this city used to have!” He excitedly gushed to you, trying to show off his outfit. You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “It looks nice on you. Did you make it?” You asked, trying to make small talk, and feeling more comfortable, seeing how happy he was. Emmet’s smile brightened, and you couldn’t help but think his smile looked good on him. “No, but I had commissioned a friend of the hive to make it for my brother and myself! Through trade, they even made extra Depot Agent uniforms for the drones!” He explained. You blinked. “...So the whole hive is themed like the subway?” You asked, a bit surprised. Emmet nodded excitedly.

“Yup yup! The drones were quite taken with the uniforms! After the Queen died, we had more freedom to do as we wished, dress as we wished.” You were still a bit surprised. You hadn’t heard of insect hybrid colonies or hives doing this, but it was kind of a cute visual, if you were being honest. Though you couldn’t help but wonder a bit at what he said. Just when had their Queen died? Had he not always been a King? How did that even work? You didn’t think hives even had King bees. Then there was the fact he didn’t exactly seem pleased when he talked about his former Queen. You couldn’t help but wonder if their reign hadn’t been a peaceful one. Were they strict? Overbearing maybe? Or maybe even worse in ways you didn’t want to imagine. As much as you wanted to ask, you wondered if it would be rude to do so, especially seeing as he was one of the current Kings. That was another thing you were curious about. You knew hives usually only had one Queen. From you could remember, you know that regular hives could sometimes have two Queens, but this wasn’t a regular bee hive. Could hybrid hives even have multiple royals? Perhaps it wasn’t impossible. As you thought this, you nearly missed the large door covered in wax that Emmet carried you through. It was such a shock, you nearly blanked out from the large area. Everything was covered in wax and combs. There were bee hybrids everywhere you looked! Some were flying throughout the room, others were on the walls, others were milling about on the floor, heading to one place or another. Some bees were even chatting with each other, and checking on papers or clip boards.

This definitely explained all the buzzing you had been hearing, and the drones digging tunnels into the walls was the rumbling, you assumed. True to Emmet’s word earlier, the bees all seemed to be wearing variations of the Depot Agent uniforms that the station used to have. Despite what some might call as chaos, you couldn’t help but find it all finely organized. If you were being honest with yourself, you were in awe at what you were seeing. Chances were, you were one of the few humans that ever even got to step foot in a hybrid hive, let alone this hive in particular. “Impressed?” Emmet’s voice once again shocked you out of your thoughts. His eyes seemed to almost light up as he watched you take in the hive. “It’s… Wow! I haven’t seen anything like this before. It’s so cool!” You spoke quietly, still amazed at the sights of the hive. Emmet couldn’t help but feel his antennae twitch at your words and expression, and his body straightened up with pride. It was a step forward! After all, how could you rule a hive, if you didn’t even like how it looked? That, and the fact that the cute human he found liked his home! You were impressed with what you saw so far, and this was only a small part of the whole structure! Not to mention, you didn’t seem freaked out in the slightest. He had to hold back his wings from buzzing in excitement. It was no secret amongst insect hybrids that they were not well liked among human kind. He had heard all sorts of things from other hybrids, and even from some humans himself. It wasn’t exactly fun being called or referred to as a ‘creepy crawly hybrid’, either. Most humans stayed clear of his kind, and his kind likewise did the same. Sure, there was the little hiccup when you first saw him, but it was now obvious it was from your situation, and your nerves. You seemed un-bothered about his and the drones’ appearances now that you were a bit more calm! Yes, this was already going a lot smoother than he had originally aimed for. Meanwhile, as Emmet carried you further into the hive, you couldn’t help but shift a bit in Emmet’s hold every now and then. Every time you passed a bee, if they weren’t busy, they’d see you in the King’s grip, and stare. Some seemed confused, Some seemed suspicious, others almost looked as awed as you felt. But much to Emmet’s word, they did nothing to you. They didn’t even stop the King hybrid as he merrily carried you along. The stares made you a bit uneasy. Just what would have happened if Emmet had not come across you? Would they have attacked on sight? Or had given you directions out of the tunnels? You couldn’t help but think of the ‘what ifs’, and just how close you could have possibly been to death. This didn’t go unnoticed by Emmet. You didn’t seem bothered by the drones themselves, but you seemed a bit skittish when they openly stared at you both. He supposed he couldn’t blame you. You were in a very vulnerable state. Though it made him feel a bit sad you felt this way. But no matter! Himself and Ingo could get the hive used to you in no time. He was sure with a little bit of kindness, and a bit of a push, you would grow comfortable with his drones as well! After all, he really didn’t want you scared of the other bees, especially when you seemed so interested in them. Truly, as long as himself and Ingo said so, the drones would never lift a finger towards you. He had to make you comfortable. Though that left another thing lingering in Emmet’s mind. No doubt Ingo wouldn’t be pleased with him bringing a random human into the hive without consulting him first. Emmet was sure Ingo would listen to reason when he heard your story, and saw you were injured. His older twin may be wary of humans, but he had always been curious of them, and a big softie to boot, despite his strict face. Ingo also didn’t like turning people away who needed help, unless it hurt the hive. But how to get Ingo on his side for his grand plan? How to convince him? As he went over his minor mental dilemma, you could only admire the hive as Emmet crossed the giant area, taking you into a large hallway. The few bees in the area quickly moved out of his way. Although many had their eyes on you, they still took time to greet the King. Some offered a small wave or smile, others gave a brief bow. It made you critically aware of just how casually you had been treating someone considered royalty this whole time. He didn’t seem upset or anything, from what you could tell. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. Have you done anything offensive that you were unaware of? You don’t think you’ve done or said anything, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit weird about it. “Um… Mr. Emmet…” You spoke up gently. His eyes landed back on you. “Yes? You may just refer to me as Emmet.” He told you. Despite the assurance, you could help but still be a bit nervous. “About that… Should I be referring to you with a royal title as well? I don’t want to offend you…” You spoke, unsure about the situation. He was being kind enough to let you stay and heal, you didn’t want him upset. At your question, he seemed to stop for a moment and think. “No. You are not a drone, you are a guest of the hive. Emmet is just fine.” He told you, though. “But thank you for asking!” You let out a sigh of relief. You hadn’t offended him, and you had permission to just refer to him as his name. An odd thing to have been hung up on, but you couldn’t afford to piss a King off, you figure. Before you could dwell more on it, Emmet turned a corner, and entered a rather large room. Like the hall and the large room from before, it was covered in wax, and had several dozen honeycombs littering the walls. There were several drones flying around, checking on the combs, or milling about. A few drones were even on the beds, some hidden behind curtains, others being checked on by other drones. The room itself had several beds across the room, and you easily figured this must be an infirmary of sorts. As Emmet walked in, almost all eyes were on the King and you. You fought the urge to squirm in his hold as he carried you to the corner of the room. A few drones moved out of his way, and he gently placed you down on a very soft cot of sorts. “Give me just a moment, please.” He told you, and ushered a few drones over, and walked a bit of ways away to speak to them. You sat on the elevated bed, looking around the room, though it was a little hard to do so. The bed Emmet had chosen for you had a curtain around the side of it, so you took in what you could. The drones especially had caught your attention, not just the ones talking to Emmet. The King hadn’t been kidding about a subway theme for the hive. Almost all the drones walking and flying around were wearing the green Depot Agent uniform that the official subway used in the heart of Nimbasa city. They each had 2 sets of arms, one through the regular sleeves, and a pair of arms just under the other pair, ripped through the uniform. An odd detail you also noticed. The King only seemed to have one pair of arms. You supposed that was normal? Though you didn’t know enough about King bee anatomy to dispute it. You couldn’t help but also notice little details about the drones. They all looked very similar at a glance, sure, but they each had their own unique little traits. From height, weight, muscle (did bees have muscles???), wings, and even fuzz and face details. They looked so cool. You couldn’t help but find them interesting to watch. You were already a bit of a people watcher, so getting to watch hybrid bee drones move around and work like this was fascinating to you. But you also didn’t want to just stare at them. Was that rude? Probably. Though it’s not like you had anything else you could do. It was the only thing capturing your attention, and distracting you a bit from the increasing pain your leg was in. Emmet was too far away for you to hear what he was saying to the drones, though you did see some salute him, and run out of the infirmary. He seemed to then instruct another set of bees, occasionally gesturing to you. Whatever he was saying seemed to catch them by surprise, though he had their utmost attention. Some even had clipboards, and were furiously writing down notes, occasionally glancing your way, then back at the King. You weren’t quite sure if that was a good thing or not. Before you could dwell on it further, Emmet quickly returned to your side with several of the drones he had been talking with. He seemed excited, along with the bees, who all seemed eager to see you.

“Excellent news! I have some drones on standby learning more about human anatomy to help you heal comfortably. As they go over the information, the hive’s medics will be looking over you to the best of their ability. Will that be alright with you?” He asked, looking over at you expectantly.

You blinked, trying to process what he just said for a moment. That… Was already a lot. You just expected maybe to have a bed and wait for the break to heal so you could leave, maybe get it rebroken at an ER so it could heal properly. This was going above and beyond what you expected them to do for you. They waited for you to answer patiently, and you finally nodded your head. “I… Okay. That will be alright.” Perhaps you should have given it more thought, but the bees were already moving after you gave them the okay. Still, thoughts couldn’t help but flow through your mind. Should you have agreed? When will you be better? When would you be able to go home? You felt the exhaustion hit you when you thought about everything going on in your life, now that you had ended up trapped. Did your boss call anyone? What about your coworkers? Had they left you in that tunnel to die? Have they even alerted the police you had been left behind, probably injured and alone? Did they even think you were alive?

…Did they even care? Would you end up just a passing thought? Would your boss cover up your disappearance?

Would your family even be informed?

You could feel your mind quickly beginning to spiral as you really began to think about everything.

Your breathing was picking up, and your vision was beginning to blur. Faintly, you could feel yourself beginning to sweat. Just out of your vision, you were barely aware of the drones moving around you, until you felt a cold hand on your shoulder. The touch startled you, and you looked up. Emmet was looking at you, and the smile you had gotten used to seeing on his face was nowhere to be seen. “Are you alright?” He asked, clearly concerned.

You had begun to smell… Off. Nor had you looked completely there. When you had started shaking and breathing quickly, he was quick to worry. What was wrong? Was this a human thing? Was it the shock wearing off?

Different questions ran through his mind, and his wings twitched with worry. When you turned to look up at him, he felt his breath catch. The way you looked at him made you seem so vulnerable. It really hit him in that moment, just how much you must be going through. He couldn’t say if it was physical pain, mental pain, or a mixture of everything, but you were trying so hard not to break. You took a moment to stare at him, before reaching up, and rubbing the tears that threatened to fall away. His presence had luckily snapped you out of it before you fell in too deep. “Y-Yeah. Sorry. Just… overwhelmed. Sorry ‘bout that.” You mumbled, looking away from him, a bit embarrassed. Emmet thought to himself for a moment. He really couldn’t imagine what you must be feeling, or what you are going through. Emmet had no idea what kind of life you lived, especially since he had just met you about an hour ago. There was a slight peace in his mind, knowing this was probably just stress in general, not fear from his hive. But he would not lie. He was worried about you. The stress you were under must be immense.

Internally, he went over what you may need in his head. First, you needed medical aid, which his drones were already working on. He had already sent several to grab some human medical aid supplies that he knew had been left behind when the subway was abandoned. After that, you probably needed rest, first and foremost. That, and food and water, something he had sent several other drones on a mission to find. If he recalled correctly, humans could eat a lot of things, including fruit. Some fruit, added with some of their honey, and you should be feeling better in no time! But first, you needed medical attention and rest.

Perhaps he should move you to a separate room? You’ll probably feel more at ease, with less curious eyes on you. Just as he opened his mouth to ask if you’d like that, the doors to the infirmary burst open. “EMMET!” Emmet winced. You meanwhile, jumped at the sudden loud noise. When you faced the direction of the doors, you were surprised to see another bee hybrid the size of Emmet turn the corner. “Emmet, just what do you think you are-” He said, beginning to lecture the other hybrid, only to pause when he saw you past the curtains. You shied back a bit from his intense gaze. The hybrid stared at you for a moment, mouth agape as he looked you over. His eyes landed on your injured leg, before he glanced back at you, and then back to Emmet. As he did so, you got a good look at him. This must be Emmet’s twin brother. Emmet hadn’t specified how he had a twin, only mentioning to you in the tunnels he was one of the twin Kings of the hive. And they certainly looked like it, as they stood side by side. Where Emmet’s coat was white and gold, his brother’s was black and gold. Even his trousers were black, along with his little hat, which also had a gold trim above the rim. Other than that, the only physical difference was the frown on his brother’s face, where Emmet still had a smile. Though you could tell the smile was now a nervous one. Those two were nearly identical.

You fought back the heat rising in your cheeks as he stared at you.

He was just as pretty as his brother. A beat passed, and Emmet tried to speak up.

“Ingo-” Ingo(?) quickly turned to Emmet, before casting one more glance at you, then pulling his brother away from the bed you were on. You could only hope you weren’t getting Emmet in trouble by being here… Emmet however, was more or less expecting this to happen, just not as soon as it did. Ingo pulled him into the corner of the infirmary, making sure you were out of sight and hearing range, before his brother’s eyes were on him. “I can explain-” Emmet began, before Ingo crossed his arms, wings twitching in irritation. “Yes, please do. Why did you think it would be a good idea to bring a human into the hive, without consulting anyone first?” Despite how upset his brother seemed, Emmet held himself back from sighing in relief. He could read his twin better than anyone. Ingo was upset, sure, but also incredibly curious. No doubt after seeing your injury, he had an idea what had happened, but wanted to hear it from Emmet himself. Emmet took a deep breath, before explaining. “I was in the tunnels north of here, going over the expansion progress from our workers. I had been flying back, when I saw the human limping in the dark at the first diverging set of tracks.” He began, and he had Ingo’s immediate attention. “From the split tracks? So they came in from the poorly sealed entrance that had been broken into a few years ago? Isn’t that still unstable?” Ingo asked, his tone growing worried. Emmet nodded in confirmation. “Yes. Apparently, they came down here because they were made to by their boss and his drones. From what I could gather, somehow the entrance caved in, and the human’s leg was crushed, and they were left behind.” Ingo’s eyes widened, and he glanced back in the direction of the cot you were sitting on, before landing back on Emmet. “And they walked all the way to the crossroads? With a broken leg?” Emmet grinned at Ingo’s awestruck expression. “Nope! They walked even further.” Ingo looked at him in disbelief. “I followed them for a while, unaware that they had been injured. I was curious as to why they were down here, and if they were here for the hive. I had concluded they were actually injured, and approached them about 30 minutes out from the north lobby.” Emmet’s hands raised as he tried to explain what happened, his wings and antennae twitching as he did so. “They were startled at first, but seemed surprised, rather than scared to see me. In fact, I think they were rather impressed.” Ingo stared at him for a moment. “So they weren’t scared of you, an insect hybrid?” Emmet shook his head, his grin growing. “Nope. They seemed surprised to see me, but did not fear me!”

It was mostly the truth. Sure, he did scare you, but that was more situational than his hybrid status.

What Ingo didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Ingo had an odd look on his face, and raised a hand to his chin as he continued to think. “So, I offered them help. They were alone, and were about to walk into the hive anyways. They are injured, and are no threat.” Emmet assured Ingo, though continued to speak. “I apologize for not informing you first, I-” Emmet began, and Ingo raised his hand, causing Emmet to pause. “I can see where you are coming from now. No apology needed. I apologize instead for yelling at you in front of our guest. I owe them an apology as well, it seems.”

Emmet’s smile widened. He knew it would not take much for Ingo to waver over this!

Though before his brother could walk over to see you, he grabbed Ingo’s sleeve.

“I would like to talk to you momentarily in private, after this.” Ingo looked over Emmet’s expression, trying to glean just what he wanted to talk about, though nodded his head anyway. Judging by Emmet’s tone and face, he was serious. “Okay. Will do.” After that, Emmet let go of Ingo’s jacket, and both walked back over to the bed you were sitting on, talking to a drone with a clipboard. “...No, not particularly. I should be fine eating that.” They heard you say, and the drone eagerly wrote something down. Both you and the drone looked up when both twins arrived. The drone did a small bow in greeting, before continuing to write. Ingo cleared his throat, before tilting his head towards. “Hello, I would like to apologize for my earlier outburst. I had not been made aware of the situation. I hope you can forgive me for startling you.” Ingo said, putting a hand to his chest, and doing a small bow. Ingo felt a bit embarrassed that he had yelled and intimidated you. If you were truly an injured human who Emmet deemed no threat, then he would treat you like a guest. Both of them dreamed of being good hosts to those who needed it, even if they weren’t going out of their way to have guests. It was something the last Queen hadn’t been, and they wished to change that. What better way than starting with an injured human? You were a bit speechless though, seeing the other King of the hive just come up and apologize to you. “Oh… It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.” You told him, tilting your head. Emmet had mentioned he would need to let his brother know at some point, though you guessed the drones must have gotten the news to his twin first. Ingo shook his head. “I still yelled without knowing the situation. I apologize for doing so.” Despite the frown on his face, he seemed genuinely upset. It tugged at your heart a little bit. You gave him a small smile. “I accept your apology then. I’m not upset!” The hybrid then gave you a nod, and what looked like a small smile. “I’m glad. Now then, how is everything? What do you need?” He asked, clapping his hands together. You blinked, and looked between the two royals, and then to the drone. “Uh… I’m okay? I was telling the drone here what I can and can’t eat.” The drone next to you nodded, giving a small salute. “Yes! We wanted to be sure there was no risk for any allergies, and if we needed to get anything for specific dietary needs.” It was kind of sweet, and considerate, you thought. You wouldn’t have figured the bee hybrids to be more concerned over your needs than your own fucking job and coworkers. But hey, you were thankful. You weren’t gonna complain. Hell, you were half tempted to thank them on your hands and knees. They could have killed you, or left you to rot, completely lost in the tunnels. Instead, the hive actively wanted to help you so far.

The Kings, and even the few drones you have met so far all seemed nice. They were all gentle with you, and were making sure you were comfortable before doing anything with you or your leg. The other drones didn’t make you as nervous now, after talking with one of them. From what you could gather, most were genuinely just curious, which was a relief for you.

Both the Kings looked between you and the drone. “We also have a list of any allergies to be aware of, and the others are currently on their way back with some medical supplies.” The drone piped up again, twirling the pen between his fingers. You nodded. “Yeah. Thank you by the way. I appreciate you all taking the time for that.” You said, making sure to look at all three of them. It wasn’t much, but you at least wanted to vocalize it. The drone smiled brightly, and his wings cutely buzzed behind him. “It’s no problem at all!” Ingo and Emmet nodded at you as well. “Yes, it is no trouble! Thank you for being patient with us as we figure things out. We have not had a human in the hive in over a decade, so forgive us if it takes some time to figure things out.” Ingo said, thanking you instead. You had to hold yourself back from getting a bit flustered. Your emotions were definitely a bit high strung tonight. You felt like your nerves were all over the place. Still, it was a bit nice to be treated so kindly like this. When was the last time anyone had shown you such concern and kindness? Emmet then brought up his hand, and caught your attention. “I was thinking. Would you like a room, instead of the infirmary?” he asked, with a cute tilt of his head. Your eyes widened at the question, and you shook your head, hands waving. “Oh, no, you don’t have to do that! I’m just thankful for the help as it is, no need to go out of your way for me! It’s okay, I-” You tried to finish speaking, only for Ingo to speak up. “Nonsense! You are our guest. Let us take care of you!” Emmet nodded, clapping his hands in a familiar fashion to Ingo. “Yup! Yup! It is no problem!” The drone next to you all hummed, and put the end of the pen against his mouth. “It’s true, despite how cluttered it looks, we have the space. There are plenty of empty rooms we have ready on standby for guests. Some were made for future projects that never saw fruition. Others are remnants from the subway system, we just have not found a use for them.” He explained. “Honestly, it would be no issue! Please, allow us to treat you.” Ingo finished, and you felt all their eyes on you, almost eager to please. You had to hold back your jaw from dropping. You… Were not expecting this kind of treatment. Genuinely, you felt like it wasn’t necessary to go above and beyond for you, but you could tell that arguing as such would probably be a losing battle. “Okay. If you insist.” You said, albeit a bit unsure. Ingo clapped his hands one more time, his eyes lighting up. “Bravo! We shall have you healed up in no time!” You were expecting Emmet to come pick you up again, though were surprised when Ingo walked over, and held out his arms. “May I carry you to your destination?” His silver eyes were on you, waiting expectantly. You suddenly felt a bit flustered, but nodded your head. “You may.” Ingo’s wings buzzed for a moment, almost as if he was excited. Then he reached out, gently scooping you up in his arms, being mindful of your injured leg. You let out a small gasp at the action, and held onto his shoulders as he slightly adjusted you to a more comfortable hold. You happen to look up, and meet his eyes again. The silver, just like Emmet's, almost seemed to glow. It nearly took your breath away. Emmet cleared his throat, causing you both to break eye contact, and turned to the drone. “Please have some drones make sure room 15c is ready. We shall depart shortly.” The drone nodded, and immediately scurried off. Emmet turned towards you, and gave you another bright smile. “The room is more or less already set up, for the rare chance we host visitors and merchants from other colonies. It should be ready when we arrive.” You nodded, a bit overwhelmed again. It has been a long day, and it wasn’t even ten pm yet. A part of you wondered if this was all just a fever dream of some sort. Perhaps you were really just at home, and having the most realistic dream of your life. It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t a dream. The pain, the fear from earlier, that was too real of an experience. Still, a part of you could hardly believe the situation you were currently in. Just how many humans got to say they were carried bridal style by two King Bee Hybrids in one night? …Granted, you didn’t think most humans could even say they got stuck in a cave thanks to their coworkers, and nearly stumble upon a hybrid hive either. It had been a long day. You were brought out of your thoughts though, when Ingo and Emmet began walking, taking you back into the hallway from before. They continued down the long hallway, occasionally pointing out things of interest to you. Different drones, a few rooms with food, or honeycombs, some rooms with what looked like a lot of paperwork. It was all fascinating to you. As you admired the different rooms you passed, you failed to notice how the twin’s eyes seemed to almost always be on you.

Ingo nearly couldn’t believe it. He was holding a human! One that wasn’t afraid!

He had seen a few humans before, back when he had been a drone. However, he had never shown himself unless necessary. The few times he had, never really went well.

They were either terrified, grossed out, or felt they were above him.

It was enough to make him want to keep his distance.

He knew not all humans were that way, but the few experiences he had made him want to avoid going out and making contact. Unless it was absolutely necessary, of course.

Which unfortunately, would have had to have been soon, regardless of his feelings.

But then he saw you.

You piqued his curiosity.

A human who wasn’t afraid? Who happily chatted with them and the drones?

Not to mention, you were rather easy on the eyes. You were easily one of the most attractive humans he had ever seen He looked at Emmet from the corner of his eye. His twin’s gaze was on you, even as he explained how a room was set up that they had passed. For a brief moment, Emmet’s eyes met his, before going back to you. You had potential. You could be perfect, just what the hive needed. Now it made a bit more sense. Emmet was kind. He would have helped you regardless, unless you had been hostile back in the tunnels. His younger twin didn’t like seeing others suffer. With that broken leg of yours, you definitely needed help, and Emmet wouldn’t have ignored that. However, if Emmet had wanted, he could have easily just taken you out of the tunnels, and into the city for help. No doubt you would have been taken care of. But Ingo could see the bigger picture. Emmet wanted to make a great impression on you. He wanted to help. Wanted you to like him, and to like the rest of the hive. And Ingo knew why.

You had potential to be the perfect Queen the hive needed. Ingo felt the gears turning in his head. Emmet was making gamble, putting his eggs in a single basket like this. However, both were getting desperate. They couldn’t support the hive forever on their own, and there weren’t any other bee hybrid hives in the nearby area to help with this issue. That, and bee hybrids specifically could be terribly territorial. He doubted any would help unless it had major benefits to their own hive. With their own hive being in the state it was in, just reaching out was a risk neither wanted to particularly take. So helping you like this, it was a huge gamble.

But ingo looked over at your cute, curious expression, and felt his antennae twitch.

This was a gamble Ingo decided he wanted to take stakes in.

One thing was for certain, Ingo and Emmet were very similar in a lot of things. One of those things being both enjoyed a risk. You weren’t some trophy to be won, nor would they treat you as such. But you were worth the effort to try and win over, he could feel it. They would not force you to take this role, of course. Everyone would only end up miserable if that were the case. You and the drones did not deserve that. Especially after the last Queen’s rule. But he had to have hope over this. His eyes once again landed over on Emmet. His brother had mentioned wanting to talk to him privately. Ingo had a feeling that it was over you, and the possibilities laid out before them.

He looked forward to that conversation. However, it would have to wait. The room was fast approaching, and they had to get you as comfortable as possible. These next few weeks were going to possibly be rough for you as you healed, so Ingo was eager to get you comfortable as soon as they were able. When they approached the room, Emmet was quick to walk up front and open the door. Ingo gave him a nod, and brought you inside. Your eyes widened as you took in the sight. The room was a little dusty, but still fairly clean. A bed was at the back of the room next to a wall, with a cute little black end table. The bed itself had basic black sheets, with a gold comforter and pillow cases.

‘Cute…’ you couldn’t help but think. The walls were a dark gray, and had a few posters from the old subway, and what looked like motivational posters as well. There was also what looked like a restroom off to the side, something you were very thankful to see. Ingo carried you through the room, and ever so gently laid you down on the bed. It was a lot bigger up close. Was it a king size? Before you could ask, Emmet placed his hands on his waist, and nodded. “Excellent. Is the room to your liking?” He asked, genuinely curious. You looked around the room a little more, before nodding your head with a small smile. “It’s very nice, thank you for letting me use it.” Both twins seemed to almost preen under your thanks, standing a little straighter. “Of course! We’re glad to be of service.” Ingo then turned to Emmet, and whispered something to him, causing the other twin to nod. Ingo turned back.

“We will try getting some more furnishing for you when the opportunity arises, we apologize in advance for that.” He told you suddenly, and you felt your eyes widen. Before you could tell them it wasn’t necessary, the door was knocked on, and a few drones peeked their heads in. They looked at you all, curious, though especially curious about you. Emmet waved them in, and they shuffled into the room. There were four in total, all wearing the cute little Depot Agent uniform. “We have the medical supplies!” The smallest one said with a cheer, and the biggest one behind them held up a box full of first aid equipment. “Bravo! Excellent!” Ingo praised them, and the bees sat up in pride.

Then, everyone turned towards you, and you suddenly felt a bit small at their intense gazed.

You could only hope they knew how to properly help you.

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personasintro · 11 months

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I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WORKS MIMI!

I will write 2 messages now.

1/2

First of all, I have read a reply you posted a few weeks ago in which you said that when MH ends, many people will lose interest in you/your works. That's absolutely not true. I'm a writer myself on Wattpad (more of Italian poetry and some short stories) and I was never interested in reading anything on Wattpad, nor I am a big reader in general. Ironic, isn't it? Being a writer and not liking reading that much. There are about like 5 books I have read in all my life. I am very freaking picky with stories, I hate clichés and I usually hate the Fan Fictions about existing people. But, when I first discovered you on TikTok, I was confused about what the hell is MH. This book kept blowing up on my home and at some point I got so curious and annoyed, that I decided to look up at it. When I started reading it, I don't know what possessed me, but I literally DEVOURED this book. Some days I didn't sleep just to read. Didn't study for anything. Just wanted to read. This happened with me only one time with a book. This was my second time but the butterflies I got with it, it's unbelievable. You made me rethink about what I look for a man, and I understood that I want a man like MH JK, who treats me like a princess and craves for me. I want someone who wants me physically and mentally. I'm very similar to MH JK to be honest, I'm just like him in friendships or relationships. Very dominant, flirty, gentle and kind. So I think that now I realised that it's better to settle for someone similar to me, like him. A bit narcissistic but I know my worth and how I treat people. Anyways, the thing is that it's not only MH, but your writing style is addictive. So once this book ends, I will sit here and wait upcoming new works by you. Because you became my favourite author on Wattpad (even though I know about all the situation with that platform, and I'm very sorry and mad). Probably you're my favourite second author, or first, I can't decide. I really enjoyed reading some of your other works, so I can tell you that it's you who got my attention, not only MH. Please, keep doing what you're doing. MH is an obsession for me, I love reading it because it helps me to kinda cope with my stress and feeling of loneliness. Just do what you want to do, leave negative comments behind and remember that there are people like me, who crave to see what you're going to write next. Just your ideas and imagination. It's exciting and unpredictable. Thank you for your work, I wish the platforms could pay you, because your works are worth of money. Sometimes I just want go gatekeep you hahah, but I also wish you to become successful if someday you'll decide to publish something very serious. Now I'll write the second message about MH only, and send it after this.

-July <3

Well, let me begin by telling you thank you and sorry! Thank you for writing me this message(s) – I'm counting the other one as well but I'll get to it after this – and sorry for taking so long in responding! 🥺

You made me rethink about what I look for a man, and I understood that I want a man like MH JK, who treats me like a princess and craves for me. I want someone who wants me physically and mentally. I'm very similar to MH JK to be honest, I'm just like him in friendships or relationships. Very dominant, flirty, gentle and kind. So I think that now I realised that it's better to settle for someone similar to me, like him. A bit narcissistic but I know my worth and how I treat people.

Yes! Don't settle for anything less. It's also not narcissistic at all and you're right. You know your worth. We're so used to having low standards that we barely consider raising the bar. Why? So we could all be in a relationship and later on be disappointed? It's not narcissistic at all to have high standards and I wish more people would realize and know their worth. I'm so happy you have taken something positive from the story and the character itself!

Like I said in a previous post that you're referring to, I do think there are readers who are here specifically for MH and nothing more. And that's fine and completely understandable and normal. I see the change and difference, and that's how it is. But there are also readers who enjoy my work itself, just like you do and either way, I am happy that someone is actually reading my stories. I'm so grateful for the sweetest words you've written here and I'll cherish this message for A LONG time!

I'll get to your second message now ♡

#💜

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moonbeam-writing · 2 years

Note

Hi! I am in love with your Good Enough post for the Haikyuu!! boys. It was so sweet and exactly what I needed to read. I adore fluffy things like that. Not a lot of authors stick to SFW and I want to thank you for sticking to that. As someone who has a foot on both sides of that line, I know how easy it is to fall. I think we have a tendency to forget that intimacy can be nonsexual as well. So, go you!

Anyhow, before I get on another tangent… I would like a part 2 of Good Enough. With Iwaizumi, Kuroo, Kita, Akaashi, Daichi and Makki? (Part 1 had 6 so I chose 6 as well.) Please and thank you in advance if you take my request!

— Good Enough (Volume II)

๑ Requested by @exaltedvalkyrie

๑ Iwaizumi Hajime, Kuroo Tetsurou, Kita Shinsuke, Akaashi Keiji, Daichi Sawamura, Hanamaki Takehiro (Haikyuu)

๑ Contains: Use of They/Them pronouns (they weren't specified and I like making things as inclusive as possible, I hope that's okay!); Angst with a happy ending (or at least okay ending); Hurt/Comfort

๑ Quick Note: Thank you so much for requesting and thank you for all the kind words! All of it really made my morning!! <3

– Editing Note: Akaashi's is a bit different! Nothing scary, it is just a bit different from the other ones. I also didn't know how to end it, so the ending is kind of abrupt. Sorry!

– Editing Note (6/12/22): I am so, so, unbelievably sorry this is so late!! This last semester was a lot busier than I anticipated and I am so sorry for the months-long wait. I hope you enjoy the finished product.

๑ Related Works: Good Enough (Volume I)

—

Iwaizumi Hajime

Hajime's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you.

Your teeth were caught on the inside of your bottom lip and your eyes were focused straight ahead, even though Hajime could see you weren't processing anything that was going on around you. Your teeth moved their position from the inside of your mouth to fully biting into the outside of your lip. Hajime watched as you sat there looking troubled before you opened your mouth.

"Iwa, I think... I think we should break up."

Iwaizumi Hajime frowned. He frowned at the way your words shook, he frowned at the idea that you wanted to leave him, and he frowned at you using a nickname that conveyed you weren't as close as you were. Aside from Oikawa, and at this point in Iwaizumi's life, a select few others, 'Iwa-chan' was reserved for people just barely friendly enough to get to a first name basis with him. The fact that you didn't call him Hajime, but instead something still friendly enough hurt him.

"Why?" He asked, careful to not let his voice have a harsh edge. He knew the situation was sensitive and that you were likely sensitive in this moment as well. "Why do you think that?"

"It's just..." You shrugged, looking anywhere but him. "I know you could do better."

Iwaizumi's frown grew and his eyebrows drew closer together. He couldn't understand where you got that idea. "What do you mean?" He asked, carefully turning your head to face him. "How could I possibly do better when I have you? If anything, you're too good for me."

At his admission, you let out a shaky breath. "What?" You hiccuped.

"You're the one that deserves better." He repeated. "I work odd hours that normally run late, I'm not always in the best mood and my temper's always been short." Iwaizumi grabbed your hands in his, gently playing with your fingers. "None of that ever seems to bother you, though. You're always here for me and putting up with me. You're my world, (Y/N). I don't want to let you go, but if you really want to leave, I don't want to make you miserable and force you to stay."

The dam officially broke as a sob finally escaped you. You threw your body into his. "I'm sorry, Hajime! I don't wanna leave you, I promise!"

Hajime pulled you closer into him, softly petting your head. "I've got you, baby." He whispered, kissing the top of your head. "I love you so much. If you ever start getting thoughts like that again, let me know, yeah?"

You nodded against him. "I love you too, Hajime."

Kuroo Tetsurou

"Honey, I'm home!" Kuroo announced as he entered your shared apartment, waiting to hear your sweet little laugh. You both knew Kuroo saying that was cheesy and ridiculous, but it got you every time. This time, however, was different. Instead of an amused snort passing through your nose, or a laugh ringing throughout the room, Tetsurou was met with silence.

He looked to the side of the door and frowned. Your shoes were here, but you weren't. The man began to look around, starting with your shared bedroom.

Walking down the hallway and opening the door, he discovered that he was right. There you were, sitting in the middle of your bed with your legs crossed and your palms over your eyes. He couldn't stand seeing you like this.

"Baby?" Your head lifted and your eyes met his. Tetsurou looked at you with eyes full of concern. Your eyes were red and your face was puffy. To him, it was obvious that you had been crying, but he wouldn't be surprised if you tried to blame it on the previous position of your hands.

"Hey, Kuroo." You smiled at him, but it was forced and tired, your eyes were full of sympathy and love. He was so confused.

He sat himself next to you. "What's wrong?"

You heaved a sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder. "I think..." The hesitance and exhaustion in your voice was audible. "I think we should break up."

"Why?" He asks, brows furrowed and looking down at you.

"I just," you sighed. "I just feel like it might be the right way to go. I just feel like I don't fit anymore."

"How could you not fit, (Y/N)?" You just shrugged, letting silence fill the space around you. Tetsurou pulled you into his lap, petting your head with the whole of his palm. The vacant look in your eyes and your dead weight was unsettling. "What they might say or think doesn't matter, (Y/N)." He wasn't sure if your thoughts were caused by others or if they were all your own, but he didn't want to take the risk. "You are one of the most important people in my life and I hate whenever you're not with me. I hate whenever I have to go somewhere for work and can't take you with me, but love having you be the first person I see when I walk in the door or when I wake up in the morning, and I love being able to show you off."

A sniffle escaped you and you moved to pull him into you in turn. "I hope you –" a hiccup interrupted you, "I hope you know how proud of you I am..."

Even though you didn't explain it, Tetsurou knew that the two of you would be okay. The man melted into you, kissing the top of your head before falling onto his back. "I'm proud of you too, (Y/N)."

Kita Shinsuke

Shinsuke stretched his back out, looking around at all the work he'd managed to do.

To Kita, everything was going according to plan. He woke up earlier than usual in hopes to have all of his chores for the day done before you woke up. Shinsuke was determined to spend the day with you. Life had been busy, and unfortunately, rather unkind to you lately, so, while you finally managed a day off, Kita made it his mission to take care of you.

Going inside, Shinsuke saw that you were already up, the universe seemed like it didn't want you to have breakfast in bed. You were sitting at the kitchen table, head in your hands and your shoulders slumped inwards on yourself. Shinsuke, being the sweet and doting man he is, immediately went into panic mode.

There was a small tremble in your shoulders that told him you were crying and any joke he could have made about you being sleepy died in his throat.

"Darling?" You pulled your head up in slight shock. It seemed you weren't expecting him inside yet. "What's wrong?" He asked as he made his way over you. He was worried - you were never this distressed so early in the morning.

The corners of your mouth pulled further down into a frown and you looked down again. "Just thinking."

Your dismissive answer prompted a semi-amused huff to leave his nose. "About?" Shin asked, hoping to make you smile a little.

"About how I'm not good enough." The words were said in a way that conveyed you were bored, but he knew you. You were fed up with the thoughts and you were tired. Shinsuke couldn't tell if you believed his words or not, however, they still left your lips and as much as you were trying to fight them, he saw the way your eyes glossed over. His heart threatened to break.

He picked you up into his arms, taking your seat on the chair and putting you into his lap. "Why do you think that, dear?" His voice was soft, coaxing you into answering him, or at least accepting the comfort he was offering.

He felt you shrug against his chest. "I've just been so busy and tired lately." You admitted flatly. "And then I come home, and here you are; the sweetest thing in the universe, taking care of me when you need the care more than I do. You're just incredible, Shinsuke, and I feel as though I can't compare. You just treat me so well, and I'm scared you'll grow to resent me."

Shinsuke's heart officially broke a little once he heard your voice's pitch rise and crack with the anguish you were bottling up. "(Y/N), darling, no." He attempted to soothe. "I could never, ever resent you, darling. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and even when you don't need help taking care of yourself, I will be here, helping as much as you need me to."

Warmth and a hint of optimism bloomed in his chest as you squeezed yourself further into him, letting your usual habit take place. Kita loved the way you curled into him when he had you on his lap, knowing it was a subconscious thing you did, reveling in the safe feeling it gave you. "I love you, Shin." You squeaked out.

"I love you too, (Y/N)." He took one of his hands from your back to coax your head up. The smile he pulled onto his lips widened a little when he saw the way your pupils dilated when you saw him. "Now, because you have the day off and I finished all of my usual chores, you and I are going to do nothing but relax today. But first, breakfast. What sounds good, my love?"

Akaashi Keiji

Though it was something Keiji loathed to admit, he occasionally felt low and overshadowed by those around him. It was never their fault, and Akaashi knew that it was never intentional or done with ill intent. It simply was what it was.

When Akaashi Keiji saw the look on your face, he immediately recognized all the signs. Lucky for Keiji, another skill he's gained over the years is cheering people up. One of his favorite things in Keiji's life was you and your smile, and he wanted to keep both of those things alive and well.

"Welcome back, sweetheart." He smiles gently at you, putting his work aside on the couch cushion next to where he was sitting and holding his arms open. As soon as your shoes were off, you almost immediately fell into his lap. His own tension left as he felt yours practically melt away. He still felt tension built up in your shoulders, but that was okay. He was going to help you get rid of it.

You were silent, breathing Keiji in. He cradled your head gently, hoping his heartbeat could help soothe you. His thumb carefully moved in slow, wide circles over your head and the occasional kiss was pressed into your hair.

"I love you so much, (Y/N), and I'm so happy you're home." There wasn't a response, but Keiji didn't worry about it. You needed the praise and reassurance, and he needed to take care of you. "I know how busy you've been lately, but I am so proud of you. I hope you know just how grateful I am for you and all of your hard work, (Y/N). You mean so much to me, baby."

The last bit of tension in your shoulders began to lift. Akaashi knew he accomplished what he needed to.

Daichi Sawamura

"Daichi, I'm enough for you, right?"

Daichi shifted is gaze over to you, confusion splayed over his face. "Of course you are." He couldn't help the short, disbelieving laugh that left him. "Why?" The amusement that was previously in his voice was gone, replaced by concern.

You lamely shrugged, looking over at him with bashfulness in your smile. "I don't know." You answer with a shrug, your eyes looking wistful. "I just remember when we got together in high school. You were so incredible to me." You let yourself lean into him on the couch.

Daichi remembers back then. He thought the world of you, and you looked at him as though he hung the stars in the sky. Suga often joked about how nauseatingly sweet you two were and Daichi always believed it. "I loved you then, and I love you now, too."

You snorted, a smile gracing your face. "Yeah," you trailed off before continuing. "I always wondered how I got so lucky. I didn't think I deserved you. Sometimes it's still hard to believe."

Daichi sent you a smile, though it was tinted with sadness. Daichi gave your hand a quick squeeze. "I think the same thing about you, but you mean so much to me, (Y/N)." He pressed a kiss to the side of your head and you leaned further into him.

Hanamaki Takehiro

"Hey, sunshine!" Makki greeted you, his smile as bright as the nickname he gave you.

You looked over at him from your spot on the couch and the smile you tried to give him didn't even reach halfway to your eyes. "Hey, Hana."

You sounded like you were on the verge of tears and Makki went into "cheer up" mode. He moved in front of you, crouching down to meet your eye level. "What's wrong?"

Your bottom lip wobbled and you sniffled, despite tears not even coming to your eyes yet. "Am I– Am I good enough for you?" Makki nearly flinched back when he heard the question. "I try so hard to take care of us, and I'm so scared I'm failing."

His arms circled around you as you draped yourself over him, clutching his hoodie in your hands as you cried. The guilt he felt at your words was overwhelming. The job market wasn't working in his favor and you had taken on most of the financial stability.

"(Y/N), no." He frowned. "You're not failing, love. You're doing so well, (Y/N). I am so sorry if I've made you feel that way." Makki tensed at the feeling of your body shaking against his. "I'm trying to get a job, I am, I promise. I'll pull more weight around here, hell, I'll be the perfect house husband until I get a job–"

A small beacon of relief shot through him at the small, sob muffled laugh that left you. "You already are." Your cried were turning into congested giggles. "How I'm feeling isn't your fault, Makki. Life's just hard right now."

"I know." He frowned again, kissing the crown of your head. "I'm gonna start checking in more, baby. There's gonna be less weight on you. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

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