#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps. #you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown? #that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes? #that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old? #im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed. #you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out? #I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt. #i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years. #i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best. #I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything. #any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic' #so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden. #i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door. #sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems. #that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too. #ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day. #therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed. #emotions are so hard to figure out.

[teacasket]

omg

genre: fluff au: gamer au, streamer au warnings: none word count: 0.6k   pairing: gn!reader x lee felix song: omg by new jeans

THEY KEEP ON ASKING ME, “WHO IS HE?”

Chat won’t stop asking, despite how many times you try to steer the topic at hand to something else. Their opinions on your current Animal Crossing build? Ignored. If you should crochet a cardigan or bucket hat for your cat? Little to no responses. Lavender latte or milk tea for Drink of the Day? Lavender latte wins, but Chat immediately goes back to your hidden boyfriend.

This is what you get for forgetting to mute your mic. You had a whole phone call about dinner before realizing your mistake, and now everyone knows that wholesome, cozy Twitch streamer lightberry swears like a sailor when discussing pork katsu and calls a special someone “baby.” It’s been clipped already, you just know. At least you didn’t put him on speaker.

“‘100 subs if you tell us his name?’” you read. You'll indulge them because indulging Chat makes for good content. “I’ll tell you literally anything else.”

If you told them his name, you would end up trending on Twitter.

“‘Is he also a gamer?’ Yeah. Mostly League, Genshin, Apex. He’s been trying to get into Valorant. Now, 100 subs, please.”

Felix, otherwise known as LixInABox, is a gamer and streaming personality who has nearly a million subs on Twitch. He has a partner, an elusive figure exclusively referred to as “My Partner.” There are rumors that My Partner (MP) doesn’t actually exist and that they’re a cover for his singleness.

“‘20 subs if you tell us his rank?’ Sure. He's pretty high in everything. I can’t ever duo with him, except in Genshin.”

When he started streaming, he was primarily known for his League of Legends skills. Low Masters on a good day, Diamond 3 on the bad ones.

“‘Show us a picture.’ You know what, I’ll do that for free.”

Chat is not happy when you pull up a photo of Marshal from Animal Crossing. To be fair, he does resemble Felix a little.

While they continue to pester you about his identity, you continue terraforming your butterfly-shaped lake. When Marshal walks by with a sandwich, you make sure to point him out.

“There’s my boyfriend,” you say as you glance at the chat, which is scrolling by so quickly, your eyes can barely keep up.

IT’S LIX

MP MP MP MP

LIXBERRY

You’ve got a ship name already? How did they figure it out? Did Felix reach a million subs? He joked that he would reveal who MP was once he hit a million, and you sort of gave him the green light, but surely he would tell you beforehand? You sit motionless at your chair and try to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve straight up lying.

LIXBERRY LIXBERRY

MP IS REAL

HE’S LIVE

It doesn’t matter what you do. By doing nothing, you’ve confirmed it, so you go back to how it all started—you call Felix, live on stream. You leave your mic unmuted intentionally this time.

“Hey, what did you do?” are your first words. You have his stream up as well, so you see the blush on his face. “You’re live on mine, by the way.”

“I didn’t do anything! They figured it out! I mentioned that I was gonna have pork katsu for dinner, and like five minutes later, they connected it back to you. What did you do?”

“I forgot to mute during our call,” you admit. “And I also gave them hints in exchange for subs, but I didn’t think they were anything obvious.”

He looks at his chat and laughs. “You basically told them what I’m famous for. And a picture of Marshal? No wonder.”

“My bad. See you at dinner?”

He smiles, and you can’t help but do the same. “Yeah. Love you.”

“Love you, too, baby.”

Chat explodes. You and Felix will never live this down, but it feels better than you thought. And you really don’t want to admit it, but lixberry is really, really cute.

HE’S THE ONE THAT’S LIVING IN MY SYSTEM, BABY.

#stray kids #skz #felix #lee felix #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #felix imagines #han jisung #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #felix x reader #lee felix x reader #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #felix scenarios #lee felix scenarios #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #felix fluff #lee felix fluff #stray kids au #skz au #gamer au #streamer au

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Drawings: cbf!soap x reader

On the walls in your room are drawings from Johnny.

Ever since you met him all that time ago in kindergarten, he had been drawing art. It seemed like any moment he wasn’t doing his homework or work in class he was drawing.

You watched all the time, since you sat next to him in every class, and admired his work with a deep sense of wonder.

In the fifth grade he drew you a picture of your favorite Disney princess. In the sixth he drew you a picture of your favorite music artist. Every drawing he gave you in middle school was something that you liked, something that you told him you enjoyed.

In high school his art style changed. He started drawing more realistically, with more purpose and soon his art started looking pretty professional.

Freshman year he drew you your favorite flower. Sophomore year he drew you a beautiful landscape.

Junior year he drew a picture of you but didn’t expect to give it to you.

It wasn’t the first time he had drawn you. In fact, since he could remember he was always drawing you when he knew you weren’t looking at him.

You were his favorite muse. He studied you any chance he got and lost himself in your eyes. He had so many drawings you he could almost make a timeline of you growing up with them.

Every sketch of you was another piece of him he wish he could give you.

One day he made a mistake.

“Draw…a cat!”

“On it.”

Johnny had asked you to give him something to draw, semi-stuck in art block due to the stress of school. He flipped through his journal and a piece of it he had torn fell on the ground.

Before he could pick it up, you had and he felt his stomach hit the hells below.

“You drew me?”

You were staring at the page with unreadable eyes that were stuck to the sketch of you smiling. He didn’t have to look to know that’s what it was because he had ripped it out to hide it from you.

“Yeah…” He couldn’t say anything as he fidgeted with his pencil, nearly snapping it in half.

You were quiet and he felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

“Can I keep it?” You wondered and his eyes widened.

“What? Why?”

“Because…I really like it.”

You rubbed your thumb over the sketch, a small smile pulling at your lips as he watched warmth spread in your eyes. You looked giddy, like he had gifted you something priceless and it made his cheeks burn.

“Ye can have it.” He couldn’t even distract himself with drawing.

“Is this the first time? This can’t be, there’s no way.”

“It’s not.”

Johnny’s mouth went dry when you looked at him with shock. He was really hoping you didn’t find him weird for doing drawing you and he refused to let you know how many times it took him ti perfect you on paper.

“You made sure to get my good side right?”

Johnny couldn’t help but laugh at that. Relief washed over him at the admiration in your eyes and he shook his head.

“Every side is your good side, bonnie.”

That picture is the only one framed on your dresser.

A/n: figured I’d give some fluff

Tags: @elysian0612

#childhood best friend!soap #cbf!soap #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish x you #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mctavish x you #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish #soap x reader #soap x you

[gojos-thot-patrol]

M E A N D T H E D E V I L W A L K I N G S I D E B Y S I D E

Sukuna isn't the type of person to say "I love you." He's not the type of person to love. He was a demonic warlord, known for his cruelty and lack of empathy. What part of that screams "lover boy" to you?

baby, you're a haunted house

Society will tell you that playing with ouija boards is a bad idea. this fic begs to differ. a demonic Sukuna smut

close calls

Love is scary, Isn't it Reader? Sukuna thinks it is. but at least he's facing his fears for you. a soft Sukuna smut.

sacrilegious

Feeling holy? Maybe a little less than holy? Do you want to have your guts rearranged by a God in his own temple? yea, me too. a holy Sukuna smut.

unholy

Did you like the idea of the previous fic, but think you'd relate to it better if the reader was of the male variety? well, do I have news for you! A smutty Sukuna drabble

seven minuets in heaven

Maybe you're feeling something a bit more modern reader. Something more relatable? Like a college au where you lose your virginity to a frat boy named Ryomen. A modern day Smut

better off as lovers

Dating is hard and falling in love is harder. Ryomens love isn't up for debate, but if he's truly ready to give up his playboy life style for you is a little more questionable. Part two of Seven Minuets in Heaven. A smutty hurt/comfort fic

new mistakes

I would say being left at the altar was the worst thing that could have ever happened to you, but I think the revenge sex with Ryomen makes it all worth it, don't you agree Reader? A modern day revenge smut.

bad miracle

Gojo has always been an idiot, but he's really done it this time. He's kidnapped the wrong girl, and now, leader of The Syndicate Ryomen Sukuna has to figure out what to do with you.

A Mafia Au smut

heir to the throne

Sukuna never wanted to be a father. Why why hell would he want that? A sticky, stinky, ball of chaos that feels the need to destroy everything. Why would he want that? It's no surprise you hid your pregnancy from him for so long.

A Dadkuna fluffy fic

urban legends

You don't see the point in it; chasing myths on Halloween night, going deeper into the woods than you ever had before. You'd rather be at home than chasing ghosts. But, your best friend insists on finding evidence of the local urban legends, and surely she won't abandon you the moment you find what shes been hunting, right? A TrueFrom!Sukuna smut.

change of plans

Funny how something as small as a grain of rice can cause such a shift so massive in so many lives. Deny all he wants, you're having a baby and now Ryomen has to comes to terms with being a young dad. Part of the Frat Boy AU Some introspective fluff

tiger hybrid! headcanons

We've all wondered what he would be like as a tiger hybrid, right? Right? some Smutty Headcanons

breaking up headcanons

While you would be entirely within your rights to leave Sukuna, what on earth made you think it would be that easy? some more smutty headcanons

feral nights

Ryomen always got what he wanted, it was a simple rule of life. And ever since he caught your scent, you were all that he wanted- your previous bond mark be damned. And you must have wanted him too. Why else would your window be open in the middle of your heat? An omegaverse Smut

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader smut #sukuna ryomen #sukuna masterlist

[spiriteddreams]

because my love for you / is higher than words. / i have decided to fall silent. (nizar qabbani) or, the unspoken question he asks to himself, is he truly worthy of your love? ft. xiao, cyno, gojo satoru, kaveh, okkotsu yuta, al-haitham, inumaki toge cw: just angst :D

xiao, who wakes to nightmares still dancing in his vision. he doesn’t jolt awake or fall into a visible panic. he’s had years of practice to neutralize his expressions even when he is far from calm. next to him, you rest peacefully, chest rising and falling in steady rhythm, lashes fluttering against your cheeks as you dream. you and him are opposites, he thinks to himself, and not in the way that would make for a blossoming relationship. no, you are good and warm and kind and xiao? xiao is dark and worn down and believes himself to be undeserving of all you have to offer. he has tried many nights before to get up and go, because should the night come when you wake to his nightmares, he would never forgive himself. he grimaces at the thought of you seeing him so weak. so he gathers himself and forces himself to slip out of bed. he tucks you back in and swallows hard. if he knew you were awake and watching him go, would he still have left?

cyno, who doesn't turn around to look back at your figure in the window when he leaves on missions. if he turned around, like every cliche, he wouldn't be able to go. so instead he keeps his head up and continues to push forward. he can hear your prayers to the wind, asking him to look back, to give you one last reassurance that he will be okay and will return safely to your arms. cyno thinks that's unfair to ask of because he cannot even promise that himself. so perhaps this will be the last time he walks away. he’ll return to sumeru city with a successful mission behind him. he’ll be hailed as a hero by others, just as he always has been and yet he doesn’t feel he deserves their kindness. because when he returns to sumeru, will you be okay if he doesn't return to you?

gojo satoru, who hates the way you look at him. he does not deserve the softness in your eyes, can't you see all the pain he has caused others, the pain he has caused you? he grapples with grief in the first degree, mourning for those long gone, and those who are still alive. his web of lies extends far beyond his reach and even he has begun to lost sight of where it ends. when he gets caught up in his own troubles will he meet his end too? so to him, to end things now would cause less pain in the future. the thought of breaking up is like grief, and while you are still here, holding onto his heart with such tenderness it makes his own heart ache. he can only wonder, how can you grieve something that is still there?

kaveh, whose emotions run high and wild and he worries about every little action and word that has gotten him thus far. he is an over-thinker, and when he retreats into the darkest pockets of his mind, he replays every conversation he has ever had and asks himself why he couldn’t have said something different. he feels the shattering weight of disappointment on his shoulders, squeezing his chest as he stares at the melting candle on the table. was being an architect worth his time? has he done enough to prove his worth or will he find himself caught up in this cycle of mistake after mistake until they nail him six feet under. what happens when the light of kshahrewar begins to dim?

okkotsu yuta, who is guilty that you are caught up in this game of push and pull. he doesn’t mean to lead you on, no, yuta is a good person and he is so desperately trying to prove this. and yet he can’t help but let his fears slip through, and he hates the way they tear into you. the events of the night parade of a hundred demons has come to a close. he and the others are working slowly to rebuild their home, rebuild relationships, rebuild themselves in the process. he grieves a girl, a childhood crush who has haunted him for nearly all his life and he feels guilty. because you are right there, with your hand outstretched and waiting, just as patient as you always have been. he wants to ask why you still try. he loves you, oh he is so utterly in love with you and your warmth and patience and kindness but he doesn’t think he’s ready for your love. please, would you wait for him?

alhaitham, who swallows down the blunt words that threaten to spill out. he bites his tongue when he catches sight of your reaction, tense and ready to deflect against what he was going to say. was this how you felt, always putting up your defensives when you spoke to him because of the fear that he would tear you down? he wants to curse himself because when did he let it get to this point, when did silly banter become actual hurt? he doesn’t think he wants to know, because you stare at him with such unnerving silence that it begins to eat at him from inside out. words are powerful tools, of course he would know that, he’s a researcher of linguistics and yet he can't even reflect upon the weight of his own. “i love you” feels heavy on his tongue. he means it, wants to hold you and whisper it in your ears forever, but why is it so hard to say right now?

inumaki toge, who values the beauty and comfort silence. there is peace in the lack of words, but there is also the looming feeling of dread that stirs in his chest. he doesn’t know what to say, or write, or sign. threats are closing in, the imminent disaster upon the horizon. he has a feeling that shibuya will be a blood bath of physical and emotional hurt and yet he doesn’t know how to comfort you. his hands are glued to his side as he sits with his head lowered, trying to ignore your uneven breaths that are riddled with anxiety. he wants to tell you he loves you, that no matter what happens you will in his heart forever. he wants to tell you that everything will be okay and that both of you will return in good condition. in this moment of quiet, he hates his cursed speech more then ever. he wants to know, can you hear him screaming out his declaration of love amidst the silence?

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3 a/n: write angst or write finals? i think you've figured out which one i've chosen this has so many tags wtf oh the things i do for the characters i love

#genshin impact #jujutsu kaisen #genshin impact x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #xiao x reader #cyno x reader #gojo satoru x reader #kaveh x reader #okkotsu yuta x reader #alhaitham x reader #inumaki toge x reader #genshin impact angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #spiriteddreams writing #spiriteddreams

[raisedbythetv89]

To me, I don’t think Buffy or the audience can ever truly know if she’s in love with angel or just in attachment with him. I believe she is just in attachment and especially before innocence and after his encounter with the first, just full on enmeshment with him. No boundaries whatsoever, his pain is her pain (which is extremely common in parentified children who feel they have to protect their parents from their pain like what buffy does with joyce), just like how she describes her feelings towards riley later which is NOT a good thing, empathy is good, taking on others pain as if it’s your own is extremely unhealthy. (Yes I’m pulling on my psych degree for a tumblr post, human behavior and buffy are two of my special interests)

What I mean by “in attachment” is that she has all of the same anxieties and insecurities about angel that she does with her father. Angel’s erratic and unpredictable behavior plays on her anxious avoidant attachment style SO AGGRESSIVELY. He keeps showing up, giving her little information at all and even less about himself and then vanishing leaving her hanging, and anxiously wondering about him which can mimic thinking you’re romantically interested when really it’s just an unresolved problem you desperately want to solve. She has a lot of valid criticisms about him before they’re officially together about his inconsistencies, him treating her like a child, him being too old for her and then all of a sudden she’s saying she wants to die when they kiss and that she loves him (after he forces her to say she loves him before he’ll tell the truth about drusilla). That is exactly how falling into attachment goes. Once you’re hooked all your feelings that are caused by a bad relationship with a parent are projected onto the partner who you are unknowingly recreating that dynamic with which is why such intense and strong feelings can happen so quickly and suddenly you’re ignoring all concerns you had before forming this attachment with someone.

He’s not her soulmate, he’s just the first guy to treat her like her father did and if you don’t address that cycle the relationship is recreating it can be impossible to move on because they will ALWAYS feel like something is unresolved and if you don’t know why you feel that way you can misinterpret it as true love or destiny because why all would you suffer so much and still love them if it wasn’t? It’s a mistake SO MANY of us make in our romantic relationships and these portrayals of unhealthy attachments being sold to us a soul mates doesn’t help us at all.

She does it with Riley also but she walls herself off so she doesn’t get AS attached to him as she did angel but their relationship is still her trying to fix the relationship with her father by changing herself so maybe this time he’ll stay. It’s why his opinion still matters so much to her when he comes back in season 6 despite him being a truly awful person to her who has done nothing but make mistakes and whose opinion should not matter to her at all after everything he put her through. He is another pseudo father figure she craves approval from.

It’s why I love her relationship with Spike so much despite all the bad they go through before season 7. We know her feelings are real because Spike doesn’t play on her anxious-avoidant attachment at all because he is ALWAYS there even when she’s mean and claims she doesn’t want him there. And to me everything they do to each other makes perfect sense, their relationship is exactly what two people with severe trauma and one with anxious-avoidant and one with just anxious-attachment going into a relationship together looks like. You hurt each other A LOT because you’re working out all your issues with each other and they don’t have ANY help from a therapist or someone who can help minimize the hurt so they both just use their worst coping mechanisms and the fact that they go through all that and still get to be together and happy and healthy on the other side is just everything to me because that so rarely happens in the real world, where you get to be with the person who was also a catalyst for healing and having to go through all that suffering together only to have to start over -hopefully from a much better place - but still with someone else BLOWS. So Spike and Buffy to me are about hope and healing (including the unpleasant and very ugly, dark parts of healing people rarely talk about) and getting to do each phase of that with someone AND enjoy being happy and whole together is just UGHHHH I love it so much.

#spuffy

[eletricheart]

hello :) I'm here to request to request donnaxdaughter!fem!reader

I really want to see what Donna would be like as a mother figure. Maybe a new girl, age 15-16 moves into the village. She hearrs all the rumors and warnings of the beneviento manor, but she ignores them, because she doesn't want to judge the place before she sees it for herself. She prepares a basket of pastries and cookies she makes herself and goes over to Donna's house and knocks on the door. Donna is shocked because no one ever comes to her manner, especially not with good intentions. The girl is so sweet, so innocent, so pure, kind, and full of fun Donna has been so lonely, so she invites the girl inside. The girl asks Donna to spend the afternoon making paper dolls and other crafts with her. A few months later the girl has been coming by more and more often, and now Donna sees the girl as a complete daughter figure.

Thank you!

Home is wherever i'm with you

(Donna Beneviento x daughter!fem!reader)

*creds to owner of the pic

Word count: 1507

ps: not proofread, im sorry for any mistakes pls lmk😭

ps2: for me this was very different from everything i write, i hope you like it🫶

----------------------------------------------------

Ever since you were ten years old, your parents would teach you about the importance of not only kindness but also charity work. Therefore, it was no wonder that now at sixteen you would feel a certain compassion towards the secluded Lady Beneviento.

It was nearing Christmas eve, your parents were nowhere to be seen (as always). You didn't blame them, they had jobs and responsibilities, you just weren't a priority.

So…you made a choice. You knew the Lady was usually alone, and you hated being alone. That's why you prepared a basket filled with baked goods and set course to her House.

There weren't many people around the streets, winter was particularly harsh this year but you wouldn't back down. Thankfully, no lycans appeared on the way, you definitely weren't ready for them.

The village didn't have much information on the Beneviento territory, so running into a grave was an unpleasant surprise since you didn't bring any flowers. However, you were walking with a map, which you turned into a paper flower and left it at the grave. It was dangerous walking without a map, but it’d be disrespectful to not leave something.

After this moment a strange feeling came at you, as if you were being followed. Of course you looked behind you many times and you never saw someone, so you shook it off.

The path was easy, perhaps the villagers were lying or simply too scared.

Once you reached the garden, a sense of peace overcame you, the freezing snow was momentarily forgotten as you stood near the House breathing the cold air.

Donna thought you were lost, she wanted to scare you off so you’d go back home. But you were just a kid, what if she frightened you too much, or you got hurt, she couldn't hurt you. So she just followed you, maybe you were dared to spend some time in her territory, it happened too many times.

She could see you from the window, standing in her garden, the Lady wondered if you were insane, a shame at such a young age.

When the cold started to get to you again, you moved towards the door, maneuvering the basket so you could knock on the door.

Unfortunately, mid shock Donna forgot to check on Angie, who ran at the door to greet you.

The doll floated straight at your face, staring at your wide eyes. “HI!”

Your mind was running close enough to have smoke coming out of your ears. All you could think was how cool must it be to have a talking doll. So you opened a big smile and giggled. “Hi! Are you floating on your own?”

Angie nodded ferociously. “Damn right I am.”

You were about to talk back when you heard a whispered Angie and the doll excused herself into the house.

And that's when Donna showed herself to you, she expected you to run away when Angie opened the door, it was a nice surprise. “Can I help you?”

You nodded, slightly embarrassed that you didn't have a proper reason. “I wanted to bring you this.” You said, showing the basket. “Christmas is coming and…I heard you lived alone…So there was no one to give you a present. I…um…came to give you a present. I know it's not much, sorry.”

Donna smiled behind the veil, you were so adorable, so innocent…you shouldn't be here. “Your parents must be worried.”

You shrugged. “It’ll take them a few days to notice I’m gone.”

The Lady tilted her head in a silent question.

“Oh you know…they have jobs and stuff…can’t always be around, there are more important things to do, that's all.” You smiled, slightly sad.

Donna was becoming righteously angry, how could they not pay attention to their own daughter, how could they not value their own child.

The woman had to take a deep breath before talking again, being even more alert towards her flowers so they wouldn't answer her emotions. “Do you wish to come in? I believe there's more than I can eat in that basket.”

Your eyes brightened at this. “Yeah! I-I mean, sure, my Lady.”

Donna laughed at this and motioned for you to follow her into the kitchen. “You can call me Donna.”

You mostly ate in silence, Angie would occasionally almost break something but Donna usually stopped her before it happened.

When it was time for you to leave, Angie attached to your leg, staying long enough for a storm to form, therefore…you stayed.

Donna was leading you to your temporary room and Angie was calling every doll in the house for a sleepover party.

The Lady sighed at that. “I apologize for her, it’s been a while since anyone has visited.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Why? You’re all so nice.”

Donna fidgeted with her fingers, wondering if she should tell you the truth, what if you hated her too. “No one likes our…games.”

You nodded. “Well, I love games. What kind of game do you like?”

The dollmaker stopped in her tracks and turned to you. “Angie likes hide and seek. I-I like crafting more.”

You smiled brightly at her. “You can build stuff?! Please teach me, pleeease.” You asked, making your best sad face.

Donna laughed and shook her head. “I suppose we can make some dolls until it’s bedtime.”

You nodded so fast it got close to a whiplash.

To say that the next day was upsetting was an understatement. Angie had begged for you to stay for at least half an hour before Donna took her to another room.

The dollmaker was distraught once you left, she knew you weren't her daughter, but your parents sounded so…bad. She would be helping you if you stayed, the outside was too dangerous for someone as kind as you.

But she couldn't kidnap you, what if you hated her for it, what if she made you forget, no she would know you weren't yourself.

That was Donna’s head throughout the entire Christmas eve. The other dolls tried to cheer up the woman but it was useless. The dollmaker would just lay on her couch, waiting for you to come back, heavily considering kidnapping.

However you did come back, sooner than she expected. It was close to midnight when you knocked on her door, she was ready for you, of course she was. You were covered head to toe due to the snow, slightly shivering.

Donna quickly rushed you inside, leaving the dolls to prepare some hot chocolate while she covered you in blankets on the couch.

You were tired, your parents didn't show, only called to say they wouldn't make it for Christmas. You didn't want to be alone.

The dollmaker was concerned over your health, and angry over your parents. But she put it all aside for you. “Do you want to make some cookies? I heard it’s tradition.”

You nodded weakly and followed her to the kitchen, quickly noticing the absence of the little troublemaker. You gently tapped Donna’s shoulder. “Where’s Angie?”

“In her room, I didn't want you to be overwhelmed.”

You pursed your lips and shook your head. “I like it when she’s here.”

Donna nodded and soon enough you heard rushed little steps towards the room.

That was the first time you wished they were your family.

The second time was during Spring, you and Angie were playing tag in the garden, the snow had just started to melt still leaving some ice. The exact moment you slipped, Donna ran to you, thankfully it was only a scraped knee, you were quick to brush it off but the Lady insisted on treating it. She was terrified, but you held her hand the entire time.

The third time was another type of slip. You were trying to make an Italian dish but lightly burned your thumb. You knew Donna wouldn't allow you to touch the oven if she found out and you also knew that Angie was a huge snitch.

Hence you sitting on a stool and Donna bandaging your finger.

This time the Lady wasn't so scared, it took her less than a week after the first incident to notice you were very accident prone. “I’ll finish the dish and you can wait here.”

You were quick to complain. “But it doesn't even hurt, if Angie wasn't a snitch you wouldn't even know.”

Angie, who was attempting to steal cookies from the cabinet, quickly said “Hey!” before returning to her personal mission.

Donna sighed and shook her head. “I said no.”

You pouted. “But mo-Donna.” You froze mid-sentence, blushing furiously.

The dollmaker also froze, happily screaming internally. The woman just smiled at you. “You can help by handing me the ingredients.”

You nodded quickly.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

You spent most of your teenage years at Donna’s house, considering her more your mother than your biological one. The moment you turned eighteen you moved in with her, of course you still checked in with your parents, but Donna was and always will be your family.

----------------------------------------------------

requests are open: masterlist

#re8 #resident evil village #resident evil #non canon #donna beneviento #fanfic #donna beneviento x reader #lady beneviento #donna beneviento x female reader #donna beneviento x daughter!fem!reader #lady beneviento x reader #lady angie #donna beneviento x daughter!reader #re8 donna

[queen0fm0nsterz]

thinking about the Lady again and she actually is the Character Ever.

Starting off with her design. How ridiculously simple it is, right? Her yukata is plain brown and has a single layer, her wig (and yes, I am positive what she wears is not her hair but a wig soley because of how easily it comes undone... that kind of hairstyle is meant to STICK when done with actual hair) has no decorations befitting a woman of her powerful status and her mask is nothing but... empty. You could mistake her for a mannequin and you wouldn't even be wrong. It's by design, after all: she is as insanely important, as a figure, as she is anonymous as a person.

But then, it's with amusement that you note that that boring, unexpressive mask is called the "Rascal's mask" when unlocked. It's such an oddly affectionate nickname stemming from a person so utterly despicable. And then you notice her hair. Her long, black hair that should be hidden under her wig, as the hairstyle goes, but are instead hanging out freely. Not very traditional at all, right? You could almost read it as a small act of defiance of... something. Now, what that thing is, I doubt even she knows. Maybe it's just her way to seek individuality without having to step into zones she does not want to touch.

And then, of course, the lack of shoes. It's not uncommon for people to wear slippers in the house - especially for the Japanese - but she just... doesn't. In that small, small way, she is similar to Six - and every other child in the Maw running around barefoot. Except she's above running, of course. She's got the privilege of floating like a ghost so that she may never touch the ground.

(The only time when this rule is broken is when she fights Six, poetically enough. You can see her visibly step back.)

These strange little things are the first things that push you to wonder about her as a person. Not the title, not the Lady of the Maw: the individual behind the mask. Who is that person? What is she like? Is there a way to answer these questions? I think yes, if you know where to look - but is it worth to ask these questions considering what she does?

That depends on you. Me personally, I think there is narrative worth to be found in what she has to hide. Her foil, Six, finds value in the aspects of herself she does not hide: she is very unapologetic in her selfhood. The Lady isn't, for the most part.

(I wonder if that would make her envious of her younger counterpart in a different context?)

Frankly, looking back on her choice of attire, the fact that her personal bedroom is barely decorated is not surprising. She only has the essentials: a bed, the vase with the key, a few pictures of importance (of people long forgotten, herself included no doubt) and... an ungodly amount of misplaced clothes all over her quarters. All the same yukata, repeated over and over, maniacally folded and arranged in towers, but never where they're supposed to be.

A bedroom is the reflection of yourself. Of your inner world. The fact hers looks so barebones is quite telling about who she is. Or isn't. She herself may have some trouble trying to figure that one out.

I think that, in a vacuum, it's easy to assume that the reason she's so displeased by her reflection is soley out of vanity. That is definitely part of it, but I don't think that's all there is. Because after seeing the mannequins that all look just like her, the four women in the picture who also wear her same exact clothes... and that hidden quote.

This quote, which is from Alice in Wonderland. Specifically from a conversation in which Alice expresses how she doesn't recognise herself anymore because of how many times she grew big and small during the course of the day. She is not the same person she was before entering Wonderland.

I find the way she clings to the dolls and the music box to be much more... sombre when keeping this in mind. In a way, that scene is reminiscent of Monster Six clinging to her music box in the chaos of the Tower; an attempt to attach to something safe. For the Lady, it's even more personal. Those are her toys. Her song. No one can take them from her and claim them as theirs. These materialistic tomes are physical proof of her identity. She likes dolls, and she likes to sing that song from her music box. Surely, that much is something.

But a ceramic toy and an old music box are not really enough to placate the inner turmoil. Hence the broken mirrors, the hidden statues... the hung down portraits with their eyes scratched out - from times of the past. There is a person looking back in the mirror which she does not recognise. That can't be her, right?

It isn't. The reflection is but a faux image of her outward appearence. The inside, however... much like this concept art shows, she is melting away. Rapidly decaying no matter how much she tries to stick to her youth.

Because at the end of the day, that's what she's doing, no? The toys, the music box, her appearence... all of it, just to cling a bit more to the person she used to be. Point being that I doubt even she remembers what she used to be.

You'd think a person like this would be inclined to feel at least some sympathy for all the lost children wandering the Nowhere. A sense of kinship, perhaps, or even just... basic human compassion. She has proved to have very human emotions, after all. This is where she proves you wrong. Whenever you think she's stepped the lowest, she always goes lower.

In her humanity, she is brutal. Relentless, ruthless. She offers no sympathy to anyone and has no empathy to spare either. She is very much aware of what's going on under her roof: she not only allows the Maw to continue being the way it is in spite of having the power to change things, but she actively engages in its despicable practices. She has petrified children in her quarters, as well as their ashes - of which the use is unclear - and then she is responsible for the Nome population and exploitation being so large and so eerily heavy. She's twisted necks, broken bones, murdered innocents.

The Shadow Children are, to me, one her greatest offenses. I don't think they serve any particular purpose other than... being there because she wanted to make them. Children ripped away from their life because of her whims. Not even in death can they rest because she can get her hands on their souls. They're nameless, forgotten shadows with blank masks: they're just like their creator, in that way. Ripped of all individuality and devoid of everything.

Everything she sees, the Lady devours. Not a creature is safe from her shadows and her wrath, especially if they come and actively intrude in her activities. She's twice as aggressive if the Maw is at stake.

The Lady's personal bedroom has another motif piece which I did not previously mention: the Maw wallpaper. While Roger and the Chefs have wallpapers that portray them with her, the Lady... does not. She only has the Maw. She's not part of that picture.

The Lady can't let the Maw change its ways. She is the Maw. The Maw must survive: so must she. To change the Maw would mean challenging herself enough to bring about a change; to her, who does nothing but lament what she lost, that would be too much effort. Too outside of the comfortable zone where she can survive in peace. Miserable, but unbothered.

... For the most part. Until Six comes around.

#the lady #carols.txt #ln meta #{dude i dont even know where i was going with this #if it seems like this post comes from a place of love it does #not at her as a person but like as a character. i find her so interesting and i feel oddly tender about her writing #usually when this happens its because i see pieces of the person i could have been in a character (like scaramouche for example) #but this time its from the completely opposite perspective #i am a person with a very clear idea of who i am. i know what my identity is and i am not afraid to express it #so witnessing a character with such a confused identity is both alien and fascinating to me #i wanted to focus more on her atrocities and how capitalism is what changes a person but its... 2 am and i am sick rn #i spent an hour literally vomiting my ramblings on this post #as a person and what she stands for i despise her. as a character i wish to put her in a security blanket and see how she gets out #this post feels terribly personal for some reason. like whatever . shes not even allat #im lying she literally IS allat #idk i love well written female characters who feel like people and dont fit in a specific convenctional box. sue me #< goes for six too #not opening *that* can of worms rn but. yeah} #little nightmares

[claudemblems]

Getting Mistaken for a Couple Pt. 2 | Headcanons

bim bam bop here's a part 2 for you all <333

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Childe

Ngl, the mistake kinda fuels his ego.

"Oh, did you get that impression by the way [Name] stares at me? I can't blame her, though. It's not often you find a Fatui Harbinger who's this handsome and capable."

All joking aside, he makes sure to clear the air and let the commenter know that you're just friends. Friends with a Harbinger. Should they ever try to threaten you, they'll have to go through him first :)

The threat is enough to make the person apologize and scurry away in fear. You chastise Childe for being too forward, but he says he just wants to make sure no one tries to hurt you. Who knows? They could be an enemy in disguise.

You do appreciate the thought at least, and you make sure to thank him for having your back. Being friends with a Harbinger does have its perks.

But you're not in this friendship so you have protection from the Fatui. You're friends with Childe because you like him for who he is. Though intimidating at times, he's charming, funny, and most important of all, fiercely loyal.

Pink dusts his cheeks when he recognizes the sincerity of your words. Maybe he's been around too many people who are scared of him or are just being friendly in order to rise up the ranks. So hearing someone genuinely say that they enjoy being close to him? It's a nice feeling.

It makes him think more about the relationship the two of you have, and how you might be the only person that can truly understand him. He already likes being your closest confidant, but if you were something more...well, he'd be the happiest man in all of Teyvat!

He needs time to figure out how to confess to you, or rather, he needs time to bolster up the courage. He's fought many battles, practically made a nation fall to its knees, but in all of these scenarios, he knew he'd come out victorious. Now he finds himself unsure. He can only hope that you'll accept his feelings. He'd love for you to become a part of his family.

His brothers and sisters have welcomed you in already. In fact, they've been prodding him for ages to finally make a move. Maybe it's about time he takes his siblings' advice...

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Diluc

Diluc promptly corrects the commenter on their mistake. He doesn't want to ignore it and have the whole of Mondstadt thinking he's in a relationship (word about the nation's most eligible bachelor spreads fast).

"[Name] and I are not a couple. She's simply a close friend of mine. We just often go on walks together to catch up when we've been too busy to meet."

Diluc makes sure to remain a gentleman as he clears up the misunderstanding, though. You might not be his lover, but he doesn't mind the mistake at all. It's flattering, in a way. But he personally doesn't think he's good enough for someone as wonderful as you.

"I apologize for getting you into this situation. Rumors about my relationship status are common occurrences. It's almost as if the whole of Mondstadt is eagerly awaiting for me to find someone...for some reason."

Don't even try to tell him that you wouldn't be good enough to be his lover anyways. He will list all the reasons about why you're the greatest person he's ever met, and if anyone deserves to be happy, it's you.

"If you have the time, I'd like to make it up to you. Would you allow me to treat you to dinner at the Winery? Ask for whatever you want. As I've told you before, if it is in my power, I will give it to you."

Please let him treat you, give you gifts, just let him do anything for you. Seeing that smile on your face always manages to make him smile, too. Your happiness is contagious. He'd say it's even more addicting than a good wine.

Anddd this is when he realizes that maybe his affections for you might go deeper than just a simple friendship.

"Please, allow me to escort you over to the Winery. I'll walk in front to take care of any monsters that might come our way." (But in actuality, he's only taking the lead in order to hide his reddened face).

He can handle formidable mitachurls and the Abyss order, but when it comes to matters involving you, it's going to take some time until he can finally reveal his feelings to you, though hopefully not while he's a flustered mess.

#claudemblems writes #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #childe #childe x reader #genshin impact headcanons

[louislovesdilfs]

Homesick (part 3)

I'm sorry if this is shorter than the others or at least I think it's shorter I really have no idea. it's worth it tho, I think. From the next I will go episode by episode maybe skip a few to add something like this but I will mostly follow the show. I loved the 60th special, Donna will always be my favourite;)

source: r/gallifrey (on reddit) it's a debate started by @/AnticitizenPrime, It's a great theory but I suggest you to check it out if you want after reading this.

◇ I don't necessarily believe the theories I use to write this fic are canon, they just inspired me to work on this. Do NOT take them as canon. treat theories ans headcanons as such.

♤ sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language.

♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧◇♡♤♧

"Y/n didn't want to leave, he was watching a Christmas romcom with my mother" Rose jokes getting in the TARDIS, Y/n is behinds her and enters closing the door,

"I was waiting for them to kiss!" he says but realise it only makes his situation worse,

Rose chuckles pinching Y/n's cheek "ohh an hopeless romantic!" she teases him, Y/n can't respond to that, it is true, so he just moves on getting near the console, he feels like he understands the commands and how to guide the TARDIS, he does want to try but is almost afraid of doing so,

"can we stop by my house?" he asks looking at the hoodie he's been wearing for...well from the begging, not gonna lie it is a nice 'NASA' hoodie but it won't be as nice when it starts to stink.

"sure do, just not for too long" The Doctor answers turning to him with tiny grin, Rose tho realises something, she turns to Y/n clearly wanting to ask him something,

"when did The Doctor take you?" she asks, Y/n was there before her, she figured not too long before since the two men didn't knew eachother that well, she sees Y/n is not from her time, he doesn't fit in at all.

"uh 2023, november 21st, I believe" he says not totally sure about the date,

"2023? is that a good year?" she asks slightly curious

"uh, well..." he mumbles hesitating, it's not bad like 2020 still there are wars... but that's a detail he decided to keep for himself.

The TARDIS lands in the same alley it first appears, Y/n gets out feeling sick. Ugh this place, he just wants to pack some clothes and go off again but the other two have other plans that he doesn't know about yet.

He walks not really waiting for The Doctor and Rose who try to keep up with him, he frantically searches for the keys to his house, as soon as they turn the corner a fancy mansion is waiting for them, The Doctor and Rose look at Y/n surprised as he opens the big black gates which reveal the wide path with a green garden on the sides, it looks so expensive but well tooken care of.

"well you didn't mention you were rich" Rose walks fast reaching Y/n who shakes his head

"I'm not, my parents were. This is a family mansion, my great-great grandfather bought it, then my great grandfather passed it to my grandad and he passed it to my dad, when my dad died I inherited all; My sister life assurance, my mother life assurance, and last my dad's. This money come from loss and grief. How could I ever define myself rich?" it is a rhetorical question, he doesn't want an answer and Rose will surely not give him one, she looks at The Doctor who has not look away from the young man for one second, he is clearly thinking about what Y/n just said and maybe he's wondering something else too, too many coincidence happened after the regeneration, The Doctor doesn't want to address them yet and neither does Y/n but sooner or later they will have to, willingly or not, Rose will make sure of that.

They enter the mansion greeted by giant stairs not too far from the big front door, the inside aren't as old as the house looks from the outside, they actually look both aged and modern, it's a style that suits the place but not really Y/n's appearance.

"not bad, not bad at all" The Doctor speaks his mind looking at the place.

"not at all" Rose agrees scanning every angle of the entrance with her eyes.

"my house is your house...I guess.." Y/n shrugs telling them to do whatever they want. He sighs going upstairs with his hands in his pockets, for how much he hates this place is good to be at home.

Y/n sits on his bed, looking at his room, it's been the same since he was 14, same posters, stickers on the windows...Even the 'I want to believe' poster on the wall near his bed, he always loved space, all the drawings and pictures in his rooms make it clear, it's funny how now he is travelling in time and space like it's a short day trip, it almost makes him chuckle.

A knock on the door makes him quickly turn his head to see The Doctor leaning against the door frame, his eyes lightened as he looked at The Doctor.

"can I come in?" he asks putting his hands in his brown suit pockets, he took off his coat and left it somewhere in the house probably, The Doctor enters as Y/n nods him to come in, he looks around the space themed room amused by it.

"X-files, great show." The Doctor comments looking at the poster on the wall, and Y/n chuckles

"shame you're not a little green man," Y/n chuckles tilting his head and The Doctor almost smirks at the young man's little gesture, The Doctor always seems to appreciate the little tilt Y/n does but still scoffs at his comment

"last time I checked you were monkeys" he shors back and Y/n squints his eyes at him

"oh shut it you face changer" he says and The Doctor smirk sitting on Y/n's bed next to him.

"big place you have here" he says changing the subject, Y/n's face darkens a little

"empty tho" he points out looking up at the ceiling, there are little stars that glow in the dark attached to it, The Doctor notices them too before Y/n speaks breaking the silence

"you have a big place too" he points out, he then falls with his back on the bed, his hands resting on his chest for a split of a second before he quickly rests them on the sides of his body.

"not that empty anymore" The Doctor follows him with a smirk slowly reaching for the young man's hand, a little touch before fully holding it. Y/n chuckles turning his face to the man next to him, he gently rubs his knuckles, is a cute little moment between them, Y/n feels something in his stomach he never really felt before, or maybe he's just hungry.

"you know what happened to me before you regenerate" Y/n suddenly says, he didn't want to but he knew it was something to be said sooner or later.

"yep" The Doctor says popping the p, his mood dropped slightly but his hand is still holding Y/n's a little tighter,

"I lead 10 people to death, I didn't save them, I saved myself" he admits, his voice slightly broken

"that's what you were supposed to do, I couldn't bare the thought of loosing you Y/n." The Doctor reveals looking directly in the young man's eyes, he knows that comment is selfish, but it's the truth, he wants to know more about Y/n, about who he is or what he become.

"I fell in a time vortex" he realises ignoring The Doctor's comment, "I felt my body wither and die or age back to when I was born, my body shredded with the time winds I-" he stops biting his tongue before continuing "I touched every point in history, I'm there as I'm speaking, my head, it is filled with information I shouldn't have, it hurts." he lets out not noticing the tears running down his cheeks

"I can take it away" The Doctor says reaching the man's cheek with his free hand, he brushes his cheek wiping away a tear.

"don't you dare" Y/n says firmly, he can stand the pain, he wants that knowledge.

"what am I? am I like you now? will I regenerate? can I die at all? It's like a tango in my chest!" Y/n asks many questions as his mind runs in the thousands of possibilities.

"there was a legend in my planet, about the Timelords origin, someone says we are nothing but evolved humans, it's not proved, but you Y/n, you might have evolved in something closer." The Doctor brushes Y/n's hair away from his face, the room go darker and the stars on the ceiling started to glow, Y/n smiles and a light shaped as a star appeared on his face, this sight made The Doctor's hearts almost melt as well as Y/n's. They look at eachother and right there The Doctor thinks he found someone who will stay. They share a kiss, not stolen, not meaningless, not rushed; it's sweet, waited, slow, they both take their time, they then part they're silent for a second before Y/n breaks it.

"I want to drive the TARDIS with you" Y/n says not really asking more like demanding it. The Doctor laughs

"that's a lovely idea" he says trying to hide his excitement but failing miserably.

They both go down stairs after Y/n showered and packed most of his clothes. Rose is stealing Y/n's cereals wondering around the house eating loudly before stopping in the study.

"Is that your dad's study?" She asks taking a bite

"umh yea, he actually died in there, couldn't bare the loss of mom shortly after my sister. Couldn't keep the family going, what a pathetic little man." Y/n says not really interested in what's he's saying, he doesn't like his father, he was never at home, and when he was he was locked in his study till night time.

Rose closes the door feeling chills as she looks at the chair where he died. They then go in the living room and Y/n lights up a cigarette opening one of the windows.

"you know, all the men in my family died here, my great-great grandfather passed away in his sleep, my great grandfather died after a bee attacked him in the garden, my grandad was found dead in the library and my father in his study, both died of heart attack." he admits breathing the smoke in and out, it's been a while since the last cigarette, he needs it.

"let's hope you won't carry on that tradition." Rose mumbles a bit unsettled by this information

"let's go shall we?" The Doctor says looking at both of his companions.

They leave the masion getting in the TARDIS leaving the bags with his clothes in his room, it's smaller than the one in the mansion but still pretty, he got the stars on the ceiling of his own room to attach them in this one, and the 'I Want To Believe' poster of course.

As he goes back in the main room The Doctor is patiently waiting for him near the console with a wide grin on his face. Y/n smiles at the man rushing to the console while Rose is on the phone with her mother, Y/n doesn't know what they're talking about but it's clearly something Rose doesn't care about.

The Doctor carefully explains how the comands work and what they are for, Y/n already knows something, watching The Doctor driving helped him even if he never really watched the control as much as he watched The Doctor.

The man looks at Y/n starting to drive the TARDIS "watch closely if you want to learn" Y/n smirks tilting his head slightly which makes The Doctor quickly look away.

"I'm watching" he says in a casually flirty tone to which The Doctor responds with a glance

#10th doctor #doctor who #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who x male reader #doctor who x y/n #tenth doctor x male reader #x reader #tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor x you #tenth doctor #10th doctor x reader #10th doctor x you

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.58 Still scared

I appreciated her asking, but the question blindsided me and I hesitated to answer. The issues that still haunted me were mine to work through, and I didn't want to burden her with them. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel even the slightest bit of regret. But I couldn't lie to her and say everything was fine. No matter what I wanted or how I presented it, this burden would always inevitably end up at her feet. She had always handled me and my hesitations with grace, but I wished she didn't have to handle them at all.

"I'm going to be honest with you," I said, "but I don't want you to take it personally and think you did something wrong, okay?"

"Of course. Okay."

I inhaled deeply and bared my soul.

"Being here with you gives me so much joy. I am where I want to be. These feelings I have for you...I've been trapped inside myself with them for a while. You forced me to reckon with them in a way that both scared me and freed me. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't have concerns."

She nodded slowly, and I feared she still took offense despite my warning.

"You think this is a mistake?" she asked.

"No! Being with you is one of the best decisions I ever made, however scary and unexpected it was. But..."

I had shared many things about my life with Sophia, but I glossed over the painful parts in favor of keeping the mood light and not wanting her to feel sorry for me or whatever women did with men's drama. But I couldn't keep her in the dark forever.

"The thing is," I continued, "My parents are divorced. You know that. What you don't know is how it affected me. I didn't find out why they broke until I was well into my teenage days. I lived nearly my entire childhood wondering what happened and confused about why we couldn't be a family anymore, especially when my parents seemed to get along."

"My mom cheated on my dad for literally no reason. She was in love with another man their entire relationship, even though she said she didn't realize she had feelings for him until right before she cheated. But anyway...I was so devastated by that. Like, I just couldn't picture it. My mom? She was so perfect and magical to me. I just couldn't imagine her hurting my dad like that...hurting me like that..."

"And to be so flippant about it? Who decides to destroy their family like that??"

My face started getting hot, and I couldn't lose my cool, so I took a moment to calm down before continuing my sordid tale.

"Ever since then, bits of information about their relationship and past lives keep coming out here and there, and every time I think it can't get worse, it does. I feel like if this can happen to two people who were very happy and in love, what hope is there for me? I have zero reassurance that I can be happy with someone for the rest of my life."

I took another moment to breathe and reflect on everything I blurted out. If I didn't have Sophia and hadn't committed to being brave, I think my words could have hardened my heart. But I continued.

"My parents started dating, moved in together, and got married within a matter of days. One thing my dad said he would do differently was date longer. We've known each other way longer than my parents did, and even though it feels like we rushed into living together, I know that's not really the case. But I can't deny how familiar this feels. On one hand, I feel like we have a solid foundation and are well on our way to a long, fulfilling life together. But on the other hand, I feel like we're following in my parents' footsteps and are perfectly primed for repeating their mistakes."

"Wow," she said. "You never really told me about their situation. I figured it was just one of those things you didn't like talking about. I had no idea it was that bad."

"Now you understand why it took me so long to ask you out. I wanted to call you so badly immediately after getting home from Mt. Komorebi, but...I just couldn't. This fear paralyzed me. I only recently decided to work toward fighting against it."

"I understand, Luca. Trust me," she said with a little extra something in her voice.

I turned back toward her with my eyebrow raised, but she turned away from me.

"I am all too familiar with what you're going through," she said.

"Yeah?"

She nodded.

"Let's just say...I've been where your dad is..."

The anger that attempted to arise in me earlier returned, and I wanted to know names and addresses. What kind of idiot cheats on a sweet angel like Sophia??

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Yeah, thanks. I've had a lot of time to get over that, but like you, there are certain things I haven't been able to shake. And also like you, I'm working to grow past them. I asked you to live here because I know you're the man for me, and I am the woman for you. I love you, and I want you around. But...there is a tiny voice inside that tells me I need to keep you close so I can watch out for threats. I ignore it because I trust you, but it doesn't go away completely. So...yeah. I know what you're going through."

I completely missed the last part of what she said because my hearted pounded in my chest so loud I couldn't hear a thing when she admitted she loved me. SHE LOVED ME?!! The weight of her admission pressed down on me, filling me with a mix of exhilaration and terror. I wanted to reach out and hold her, to tell her how I felt and say it back, but the fear held me captive. I could share many things with Sophia with ease, but when it came down to exposing the deepest depths of my heart, I freaked out. The words got stuck in a huge knot in my throat. I swallowed a few times, trying to stuff down the fear that tried to choke me, but it prevailed.

"I...I want to say it back. I'm trying to... In my heart, I know that's what I feel, but..."

I longed for the words she deserved to hear to flow effortlessly from my lips, and it pained me to admit I wasn't ready. It hurt so bad I could feel the pressure of tears building up behind my eyes. But I couldn't cry in front of her. Not over this, especially after everything I'd just confessed to her. But she grabbed my hands and caressed them, giving me hope that one day I'd be okay enough to tell her exactly how valued she was.

"Hey...it's okay, Luca. Don't beat yourself up. I said it because I was ready, not because I wanted to hear you say it back. We don't have to be ready at the same time. I agreed with what you said about us rushing. It was a long time coming, but it was sudden no matter how you look at it. You need time to adjust, which was why I asked the question in the first place. Don't rush the process on account of me. When you're ready, you'll say it."

I don't know what I did to make the Watcher deem me worthy of such a woman, but I was eternally grateful.

"I'm glad you understand. You're a real gem and I..."

I tried to ignore her and force myself to say it, but it still wouldn't come out. Instead, I said, "I care about you deeper than I've ever cared about anyone."

She smiled.

"I will take that and cherish it."

Need to catch up? See what you missed or start reading here!

When I moved in Luca, I checked her relationships, whims, etc. to see what I'd be working with. She had the fear of being cheated on! We're still getting to know her, but what do you think?

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #sophia aguilar

[archiveikemen]

Liam Evans Main Story: Chapter 19 Premium Story

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

Liam’s fingers were trembling slightly, and yet he was still smiling like it was nothing.

It was sad, tragic, and helplessly pitiable.

I reached my hand out and gently touched Liam’s smiling face.

Liam: … Kate?

Kate: … Liam, please don't smile.

Kate: Forcing a smile is an act of kindness towards the people around you, but you’re not being kind to yourself, you know?

Liam: That’s… what I said to you before.

Kate: … That’s right. You said that to me, and you’re trying so hard to smile.

From the moment we met, Liam had told me many things and treated me with kindness.

I was saved by him, who told me with a carefree smile that the real me is precious.

(I wanted to help people bravely face what their tomorrow would bring.)

(But I couldn't erase the fears of the person who meant the most to me and was right in front of me.)

I felt guilty, but I knew that regret would do nothing to make things better.

— That’s enough.

If that’s the case, then all I can do is look into his eyes and say it over and over again.

Kate: … Hey, Liam. The world has never been kind to you, right?

I remembered the way his face looked when he was talking while he stared at the crimson sky.

– Flashback Start –

Liam: Sometimes, I wish that all the sad things in the world will disappear.

Liam: How nice would it be if this were a world where no one has to shed a tear.

Liam: I’m not as intelligent as Will or Harry, so I don't know the complications, but…

Liam: Perhaps deep down in my heart, I wondered if such a world would exist after “fighting evil with evil”.

– Flashback End –

(You know more than anyone else that the world will never be free from sadness, and yet you still hoped for it.)

(This is the kind of person you are.)

Kate: Truthfully speaking, I want to make your world a kinder place.

Liam. … Make my world kinder?

Kate: Yes. I want to turn it into a world where not a single painful thing exists, and nothing can hurt you.

Kate: However, as much as I really want to do that… I can’t.

(Because I can’t change what has already happened in the past.)

(Your curse and episodes may never disappear.)

For the rest of his life, Liam had to live with the core of heart battered and crumbling.

Liam may not see life as a figure of hope, but rather a figure of hopelessness.

Kate: The world may not always be kind to you.

Kate: Living in such a world might be harder for you to do than anything else.

I held Liam’s hand that was trembling on the bed.

Kate: However…

Kate: I don’t regret saving your life that night.

Liam: …

Kate: And I won’t ever regret it. Absolutely not.

Liam’s eyes widened and his brows knitted together.

Liam: … You will.

Liam: You have to regret it… it’s useless. Kate. Think about it, why did you save someone like me!

When I shook my head in response, Liam gasped like he was getting anxious.

Liam: I just told you how horrible I can get when I’m having an episode.

Liam: And haven't you personally witnessed me doing something terrifying? You were even soaked in blood…

Kate: Yeah. … I remember that clearly.

Liam: Then… why?

The longer I stared at Liam, the more his eyes shook anxiously like those of a lost child.

Even so, I couldn't look away.

Liam: Right. Do you know that when I first approached you, it was only for my own benefit?

Liam: I just wanted to be needed by you, so I could feel good about myself. It wasn't out of kindness, it was because of my twisted desire to be acknowledged.

Kate: … That’s how you see it, but it was kindness to me.

Liam: …

Liam: And also… I can’t taste anything I eat, I can’t sleep well at night either. Haha… I’m truly broken beyond repair.

Liam: I’m right next to you, even though I don't deserve you. And yet, I was the one who got close to you in the first place… how ironic.

Liam: … I know for sure that I’ll end up hurting you if I stay by your side any longer, Kate.

Liam: To me, that…

Liam: … Scares me more than hurting myself.

Liam: I’ll fall into despair again if I hurt you and see your sad face.

Liam: Everything, all of it, they scare me…

(Ah…)

(Liam is so willing to hurt himself in order to protect me.)

(He’s used to being hurt, alone, and unloved.)

(It’s… so extreme.)

And Liam’s heart would always be lonely and hurt.

(If you're keeping me away from you to protect me, then I’ll protect you by getting closer to you.)

Words weren't enough to express my feelings, so I gently pressed my lips to the back of Liam’s hand that I was still holding in mine.

His hand quivered, and I heard him gasp.

Liam: … Kate… what are you doing…

I looked up to see Liam staring at me in fear.

I cupped his cheeks in my hands and pressed two kisses on his eyelids, in hopes that I could get rid of the fears hidden behind those eyes, even just a little.

Liam: Kate…

Then his rose coloured hair.

His beautifully shaped ears.

And his cheeks where his long eyelashes cast shadows on.

Kate: … Liam, look at me.

Liam: … Mm.

Our eyes met, and then our lips.

I slowly broke the kiss and to stop Liam from disappearing, I gently trapped him in my embrace.

Kate: You said that you hurt me, but I’m certain that I’ll hurt you as well.

To be deeply in love with someone can also mean hurting them.

Kate: Not just right now, but from this moment on, over and over again.

Kate: It’s not possible to be together with someone without ever hurting them. Therefore…

Liam: …?

Kate: Can we look each other in the eyes, talk it out, and start over whenever that happens?

Kate: Can we live in the present moment together, and look forward to our tomorrows…?

Liam: Tomorrow…?

(Because you said that you liked how I’m always looking forward to tomorrow.)

Kate: Yes. If you’re scared of what your tomorrows will bring…

Kate: Then, starting from tomorrow, I’ll always be reaching out to you.

(It doesn't matter if it’s merely a show of courage. I believe in tomorrow and I will look forward to it.)

Kate: Therefore…

Kate: Please live.

Liam: …

Kate: For me, who loves you.

(And someday… for yourself.)

Liam: You’re… being too nice to me…

Liam hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and returned the hug.

When I reach my hand out to him starting tomorrow, he might still not hold it.

However,

I felt that having my hand serve as a sign of hope was the only way.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #ikevil main story #liam main story #niki translates

[mistfallenmemes]

𝚃𝙸𝙼 𝙼𝙲𝙶𝚁𝙰𝚆

"He said the way my blue eyes shine put those Georgia stars to shame."

"I said 'that's a lie'."

"I was right there beside him all summer long."

"We woke up to find that summer gone."

"When you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think my favorite song."

"The moon like a spotlight on the lake."

"Think of my head on your chest."

"I hope you think of me."

"September saw a month of tears."

"Thanking God that you weren't here to see me like that."

"It's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet."

"It's nice to believe."

"I'm back for the first time since then."

"I'm standing on your street."

"I hope it takes you back to that place."

𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂

"There's something 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained."

"I wanna ask you to dance."

"I wanna ask you to dance right there in the middle of the parking lot."

"I wonder if you know."

"I'm trying so hard not to get caught up."

"You're just so cool."

"I don't know how it gets better than this."

"And I don't know why, but..."

"Baby, drive slow."

"I wanna stay right here in this passenger seat."

"Capture it, remember it."

"I'm not usually this way."

"It's the first kiss, it's flawless."

"It's fearless."

𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙴

"You were in college workin' part time."

"Left a small town, never looked back."

"I was a flight risk."

"I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling."

"Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts."

"Can you believe it?"

"The moment, I can see it."

"Do you remember?"

"Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?"

"You put your arm around me for the first time."

"You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter."

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine."

"We're taking on the world together."

"We'll never make our parents mistakes."

"We got bills to pay."

"We got nothing figured out."

"I remember that fight."

"Everything was slipping right out of our hands."

"That's all I've ever known."

"I'll never leave you alone."

"She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝙶𝚁𝙰𝙲𝙴

"All we know is touch and go."

"We are alone with our changing minds."

"We fall in love til it hurts, or bleeds, or fades in time."

"I never saw you coming."

"I'll never be the same."

"You come around and the armour falls."

"Don't let go."

"Our slates are clean."

"You were never a saint."

"I loved in shades of wrong."

"We learn to live with the pain."

"This love is brave and wild."

"This is a state of grace."

"This is the worthwile fight."

"Love is a ruthless game."

"Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right."

"You're my achilles heel."

"This is the golden age of something good and right and real."

𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝚈𝙾𝚁𝙺

"The village is aglow."

"Everybody here wanted something more."

"Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before."

"Welcome to New York."

"I could dance to this beat forevermore."

"The lights are so bright."

"Everybody here was someone else before."

"You can want who you want."

"It keeps you guessing."

"Like any real love, it's everchanging."

"Any true love, it drives you crazy."

"But you know you wouldn't change anything."

"The lights are so bright, but they never blind me."

… 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝚈 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙸𝚃?

"Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him."

"Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted."

"But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom."

"He don't try at all, though."

"Younger than my exes but he act like such a man."

"I see nothing better."

"Touch me and you'll never be alone."

"In my dreams, you should see the things we do."

"I know I'm gonna be with you."

"Are you ready for it?"

"Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me."

"But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist."

"We'll move to an island."

"He can be my jailer."

"Every love I've known in comparison is a failure."

"I forget their names now."

"Let the games begin."

𝙸 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙾𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙴𝚇𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙳

"How many days did I spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?"

"All of my sunshine was gone."

"I forgot that you existed."

"I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t."

"It isn’t love."

"It isn’t hate."

"It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference."

"My rep started going down."

"I tripped up and hit the ground."

"I would’ve stuck around for ya."

"Nobody came to your show."

"You showed who you are."

"(It/you) Taught me some hard lessons…"

"It’s all just a blur."

"It was so nice."

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝟷

"I’m doing good."

"I’m on some new shit."

"I thought I saw you at the bus stop…"

"I hit the ground running."

"The greatest films of all time were never made."

"If you wanted me, you really should’ve showed."

"You’re never gonna grow."

"But we were something, don’t you think so?"

"If my wishes came true… it would have been you."

"In my defence, I have none."

"We never painted by the numbers."

"The greatest loves of all time are over now."

"I guess you never know."

"If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?"

"It would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one."

𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙾𝚆

"You cut through like a knife."

"I never would’ve known from that look on your face."

"The more you say, the less I know."

"Wherever you stray, I’ll follow."

"I’m begging for you to take my hand."

"That’s my man."

"I could feel you sneaking in."

"There was one prize I’d cheat to win."

"My train could take you home."

"Anywhere else is hollow."

"I’ll meet you after dark."

"Show me the places where the others have you scars."

"Every bait and switch was a work of art."

"I’m begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans."

𝙻𝙰𝚅𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝙷𝙰𝚉𝙴

"Meet me at midnight."

"You don’t ever say too much."

"You don’t really read into my melancholia."

"I’ve been under scrutiny."

"You handle it beautifully."

"All this shit is new to me."

"I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me."

"I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say."

"I just wanna stay in that lavender haze."

"All they keep asking me is if I’m gonna be your bride."

"The only kinda girl they see is a one night or a wife."

"I find it dizzying."

"They’re bringing up my history."

"You aren’t even listening."

"Talk your talk."

"Get it off your chest."

"I just wanna stay."

#meme #rp meme #memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp memes #sentence starters

[ask-the-royal-absol]

(Reply to this: https://www.tumblr.com/sinnohsiblings/729264016845848576/singularity-approached-abbadon-hands-becoming )

*As soon as he was teleported to the office space, Singularity started to become nervous. Which was odd. Usually he was confident, knew how to handle himself in a social situation. But this? This was a lot. He had never been for an interview before. Why would he have? It was not something he would have ever needed to go through before.

As Abbadon gestured to the seat, Singularity took it but could feel his hand shake as he grabbed the chair. He listened intently to the Arceus’s voice. He was a little saddened that Galadriel had her eyes on another but it was to be expected. He just wanted to try. Even if she didn’t accept him to be hers, he at least wanted one victory. And that victory would have to be with her father. Singularity began to feel his mouth become dry. Again, strange considering how confident he usually was. He felt unprepared.*

*Singularity found it difficult for the words to come out. He was probably embarrassing himself in front of the powerful god in front of him. He could feel his cheeks turn red and his heart pound in his chest. He should have taken some water in with him. Taking a shaky breath to calm himself, he spoke.*

Singularity: I…erm…would like to thank you for hearing me out, Abbadon sir. F-forgive me for my nervousness. This usually isn’t like me. Erm…y-your daughter. Seeing her in person was certainly something. She really did catch my eye. It wasn’t just her beauty t-that was the first thing I noticed. It was her confident spirit that I was drawn to. A quality such as that is something I truly admire in a person. Definitely a strong personality too. She truly does seem wonderful. Honestly, she seems like someone who would be able to keep me in line but also knows when to have a little fun, haha. I quite enjoy her ferocity too. Again, it makes me respect her as the strong and powerful Pokémon she is and I see these qualities as something I could learn from.

*He could feel his confidence start to grow again, though it was only a trickle compared to the torrent of nervousness that washed over him.*

Singularity: I will admit, I’m not a perfect Giratina by any stretch of the imagination. I have done many terrible things which has lead to some form of destruction. But, I’m learning from my mistakes. I’m learning to be better. I feel she may be able to help me with that.

I am aware that she has had a previous relationship which had ended poorly. Relationships are a two-sided process. I would never want her to feel as she would have done back then. Many may say that they would want to treat the person they were attempting to court like a goddess or a queen. But, at the end of the day, if I were to end up in a relationship with her, I would want to treat her as an equal.

*His confidence grew and allowed him to look Abbadon in the eyes. He needed this man to know he was serious about this.*

Treat her not only as someone who I can ask for guidance and support from, but also offer that in return. I want to be that someone who she can cry on if she needs it, someone who can offer her comfort when things get tough, who she can ask for space when she wants it. I want to be someone who knows her boundaries and respects them. Someone who can make her laugh so I can see that radiant smile I know she has. I would want this partnership to benefit the both of us and help us to both become better Pokémon. And ultimately, I just want to make her happy.

I can see that you and Galadriel have a strong relationship with each other, considering she trusts you to judge her potential partners. It’s wonderful to see that. I…erm…don’t have that strong of a relationship with my father as you do so it makes me happy to see that she does. I suppose even if I don’t end up winning your approval, I’ll at least know she has a strong father figure who will make sure she gets the opportunity to be with someone who will give her what she needs.

*Singularity took a deep breath out. This was so much for him. This man reminded him of his father. Incredibly strict. Singularity guessed the anxiety was partially from the similarities. He wasn’t feeling confident with what he had said. He wasn’t confident that it would be good enough. But, at least he tried and at least he was honest. And that’s all anyone could ask for, right?*

Thank you for hearing out my case for a partnership with your daughter, sir. Would you like me to stay here or leave you to make your decision?

@sinnohsiblings

#pokemon ask blog #pokemon #pokemon askblog #pokemon oc #ask blog #ask the royal absol #singularity the Giratina #pokeask #ask #sinsibgala #fucking interviews

[naffeclipse]

Naff this last chapter of CS had me in a myriad of piece's on the floor. From start to end it was just a whirlwind of emotions and guilt to unpack???

The playful teasing between Y/N and Sun, Sun being so gentle with them while Y/N kept beating themselves up over his broken ray, their kiss to "make it better"!!

The whole conversation between Moon and Y/N about the F.E.I., the late payment which scared me more than it should have, the fact that the other Cryptid Hunter died (I think?) In that chapter because of Sun and Moon, they absolutely found it; let's also not talk about the fact that all the cryptids that Y/N killed ever since meeting with the boys have been found without a heart, surely that must have risen some suspicions, something's not right there and when Y/N talked about how the F.E.I. is convinced they can control cryptids? Uh oh, didn't like the implications of that one, not one bit, did they figure out *what* Y/N is traveling with and decided to use that as a test of some kind?? Maybe being somewhat convinced Y/N managed to "tame" a cryptid and now they want to see the extent of where they can "push it"??? Am I reading too much into this? Absolutely but there are so many subtle implications there mhhhh

The "Cryptids were never your type" hurt more than it should have

Y/N hugging their actual arm while falling asleep?? Help???? Sun and Moon realizing how deep they are in all this, they've gotten too attached, there's no turning back and that scares them because as much as they're willing to pretty much give their life for Y/N there's always the fear of them finding out what they really are

AND THE VOW *crying on the floor*

Sun was absolutely terrified when they asked him to make one, even if Y/N was just referring to the phone, the fact that he and Moon are hiding something, that they're aware will change everything, and Y/N saying "We'd still have each other" and just, I'm sure they will eventually, but if (when) Y/N finds out what they've hidden from them for all this time? Being with the boys is the last thing they'll want and while I'm looking forward to the revelation I'm also terrified (in the best way possible) because *it is* going to change everything, and the hurt that all of them will feel, how betrayed Y/N will feel, beating themselves up like they always do when they make a mistake, feeling played and dumb because they swore to protect their friends, but *that thing*? That's not their friends, they were just a plaything for the cryptid and a mean to get to meals and, they should have known better because that's their job, it's the only thing they should be good at, where they can't afford mistake and yet they got fooled, and maybe the reason the cryptid didn't want them to find Vanessa is because they knew their cover would have blown up with another hunter involved? And I'm sure that with time Y/N will come to realize the truth of it all, how the boys were genuine in their feelings and care for them, but the angst that's yet to come!!! Naff I've cried for your writing before, I'm not ashamed to say I'm sure it'll happen again.

Anyway, have a wonderful day/night!! Thank you for this chapter and for your writing in general, it's always such a delight to read something of yours <3

Oh my gosh, thank you so much!!! I am also reading your theories and predictions very intently heheh ♥

Yup. Sun/Moon would love to be closer to you with their true selves, but alas.

Oh the angst!!! I'm excited for it, and I hope y'all are ready for it when it comes!

Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day/night, too!

#this is a delight to read ♥ #moonshine-bunny #compliments that make me cry (out of joy) #cryptid sightings

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

It's enough (Christen Press x Reader)

Another one I wrote in a couple of hours on my phone so please excuse any mistakes.

Words: 1.5K

Touch. Touch was something that I had always struggled with. At times worse than others. I had many sensory issues especially associated with touch. At times simple touches felt like they were magnified by 1000, like I could feel every the contact individually through every touch receptor on my body. It was overwhelming which lead to any noise around me becoming too much. The end result would often lead to a panic attack. Christen was pretty good at figuring out when this was happening and would take me away before holding me tightly until I felt okay again. Sometimes, I couldn't handle even her touch so she would just sit with me in a quiet place until I was okay.

Often times people would get a short, two pat on the back hug. As much as i wanted to like hugs, the list of people who I enjoyed hugs from was small.

I loved cuddling with Christen, I loved touching and hugging her when we were alone. Pretty much any form of public displays of affection, made me extremely uncomfortable and a little anxious. I could do a kiss on the cheek and sometimes a quick hug or holding hands, but past that was very difficult.

Right now, Christen was getting ready to go down for dinner while I was sitting on our bed staring into space. "Are you okay babe?"

I looked up at her, "Do I not give you enough?" I asked quietly, not knowing if I actually wanted to hear the answer.

"What?"

"Attention, touch, physical affection. Love."

She flsat down next to me, a frown on her face, "Y/n, where is this coming from?"

"Just answer the question, please."

"Maybe occasionally. There are times where I would like more physical affection, like before games when I'm nervous or when we lose, but I understand that it's difficult for you Y/n. Most of the time, it's enough though. Now, can you tell me where this is coming from?" Christen asked gently, placing a hand on mine. I laced our fingers together, giving them a quick squeeze.

"I heard some of the other girls talking. That it's not fair to you and I don't give you back what you give me. How they've never heard me tell you I loved you. Never seen more than a kiss on the cheek between us. Wondering if I actually liked you, or was just with you to make myself look good or for sex. That maybe you were actually with Tobin and I was a cover, that's why I hardly ever touch or hug you."

Tobin was Christen's go to for hugs or cuddles when she needed them in public or around the team when I couldn't do it. I admit it made me jealous at times and often annoyed with myself. Annoyed that my girlfriend had to go to another person to get attention that I should be able to give her. I never mentioned it to her though, it wouldn't be fair to stop her getting comfort if she needed it and I couldn't provide it.

Christen squeezed my hand, "Baby, we both know that's not true. We know we love each other. That's all that matters."

"What if they're right though? I don't give you the same as what you are always willing to give me. You hug me the second you know I need or want one, but I don't do that for you. You're always telling me you love me, and I don't say it often. It's not fair. Maybe you deserve someone who can give you what you need and deserve. Like Tobin." I muttered the last part.

"Y/n, they don't see the parts of our relationship when they're not around. They don't see that your love language is acts of service or quality time. They don't see how you make me breakfast every morning or how you get me meals at camp so I can just sit down, the notes you leave for me to randomly find or if one of us us going to be gone before the other. They don't see how much you love spending time together, just us watching a movie, playing a game or talking for hours. They obviously don't see the small touches, when you rest your hand on my back or thigh, how our thighs or knees touch when we sit next to each other, how you always stand close to me incase I need you or just so I know that you're there. They don't see us cuddle at night or how you subconsciously search for me while you're asleep because you need to be touching me in someway so you know I'm still there. The way you mumble 'I love you' just as you're falling asleep or waking up. They don't see the stuff you do everyday which tells me how much you love me even if you don't say it often. You're what I need. You don't need to prove anything to anyone about our relationship."

I hugged her tightly, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. Hearing her talk about our relationship made me feel like I could breathe again. Knowing that she didn't hold resentment over my lack of physical affection made me stop worrying so much. I was determined though. Determined to give her more hugs when she needed it, more comfort before games or after games we lost and not just when we were back at the hotel alone again. 95 percent of the time Christen was assigned to be my roommate even when we got rooms to ourselves. The coaches learnt pretty quickly that I played better when I was able to stay with her. "I love you Chris."

"I love you too Y/n. Now I think we need to talk about Tobin. You're jealous." I went to deny it, but she gave me a look telling me she was certain of it so I kept quiet, "You don't need to be jealous. Tobin is my bestfriend, and yes I get hugs and cuddles from her sometimes, but you are the only one I want to be with. You are the one I imagine my life with. You are the one I prefer cuddling with over anyone else in this world, with the exception of my dad." I laughed quietly at that, her dad did give amazing hugs. He was one of the few people besides Christen that I actually enjoyed hugging and occasionally craved a hug from. Ali and baby T were also on that list. Ali was one of my best friends and Tierna had been like a little sister to me since we met.

Once I composed myself, we made our way down for dinner. I pretty much avoided everyone and went to get food for us. Tierna stopped me briefly, asking if I would help her with something tomorrow. She knew something was wrong, but didn't say anything, just told silly jokes to make me laugh. She was always good at making me laugh when I needed it. After I few minutes, I went to sit between Ali and Christen. Ali patted my shoulder, "You okay Y/n?"

I just nodded before starting to play with the food on my plate. Christen squeezed my hand that rested on her thigh then stood up.

"Can I get everyone's attention for a second please?" Once everyone was looking at her, I noticed the glare she directed at everyone. "I'm going to say this once and once only so you better be listening because next time I won't be so nice about it. My relationship with Y/n is our business not yours. How we choose to express our feelings for each other both in public and private is our business. You have no right to comment on it, you have no right to say that she doesn't love me because her way of showing it doesn't match your ideas on how it should look. Just to clear up something that I shouldn't have to in the first place. Y/n and I are in fact together, Tobin and I are not. Do I make myself clear?"

Emily made the mistake of telling her they were mostly joking about the Tobin thing. If looks could kill, then Emily would be stone cold and 6 feet under. I found that look way more attractive than I should have.

Everyone nodded and quickly turned away, some looking rather ashamed. Ali leaned over, offering a hug which I accepted, "I'm sorry Y/n, I heard them once and told them to knock it off. I didn't realise they were still talking about it."

"It's not your fault Ali, I'm okay."

"Good, but they won't be. I think Chris just scared them for life. Trust me when I say that I'll be next to add to that fear."

"I know. I might scare them more later with the sounds they'll be hearing through the wall."

I received two smacks, one on the back on my head and the other on my shoulder, "Y/n!" Ali and Christen both exclaimed. I just smirked before actually eating my food this time. Christen was blushing, I could only imagine what was going through her head. I winked making shake her head at me, "You're a dumbass."

I leant over placing a quick kiss to her lips. I think I actually heard the others gasp. It wasn't more than a simple kiss, but I didn't feel too uncomfortable with it. I guess that was progress, though it could have been because I was super turned on, "I'm your dumbass."

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #woso imagines #christen press x reader #woso x reader