#you aren't human anymore

[colorisbyshe]

i ended up googling how many billionaires there are because of this whole fiasco and there are almost three tHOUSAND billionaires. that is what... trillions of dollars being horded. trillions of dollars that could feed people, house people, educate people. trillions of dollars that could be used to make sanctuaries, protect land and animals, make entire swaths of the world just places where the planet can breathe.

two thousand, seven hundred people. that's just... a particularly dense neighborhood. owning enough wealth to save the world and instead spend on killing it and sometimes killing themselves.

that's what people who go "aw, they're still human beings, aren't they?" don't get. to me, this sounds like fucking space invaders who landed on the planet and just stole the entire food supply. that's not a fellow human being, that is a roadblock to fucking survival. that's my enemy and, yes, i cheer when my enemy dies sometimes.

#like being a billionaire goes past being immoral #you aren't human anymore #and YES i understand the harms of dehumanizing people #but listen #they aren't human #you cant be

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[vegaseatsass]

NONJINPHEE NATION, RISE!!

#i feel so ALIVE #ALIVE FRIEND FOREVER #dead friend forever #dff #dff the series spoilers #dff spoilers #the implications of phee being jins fuckbuddy and jin like im not easy like that anymore u always said we were just friends well NO MORE 😤 #AND THE WHOLE TIME!!! THE WHOLE TIME PHEE WAS DOING THAT #the whole time he was PLAYING with jin's FEELINGS #it was what????????? elaborate revenge that they're now taking to the next level before jin leaves the country ? ? ? #what did jin with his earnest sincere stars-and-hearts non-vision DO #why is he a target for GAY REVENGE i'm so amped #and tee!!! what a disaster human!!!! love this little (ok big) fucker #love how much he is not the safe trustworthy lifestyle dom white went into this believing he was. needing him to be #oh man oh man #heart emoji man i love you #gonna get possessive next week gonna get 'why do you need friends who aren't me' #like honestly not sure nonphee is even so very healthy but ykw it is full of codependence and GAY REVENGE #(plus hes not wrong about THESE particular friends) #IM SO AMPED!!!!!!!!!! IM SO ALIVE #dear diary

[charactersmashorpass]

i shouldn't have to say this but yes, characters who fall into that "oh they look underage but mentally they're so old" category aren't 18+ and i'll be honest i detest that kind of character

#don't send me anymore asks like this. i don't like them #not gonna even address the other one. if they aren't even human then no shit the same rules don't apply why even ask #if you aren't confident in a character being accepted don't submit them. it won't kill you

[dekupalace]

one thing about me is I Will make a playlist. this is an ongoing threat and there is no stopping me

#i approach the mic at the front of the stage. i am making a sifloop playlist #the crowd cheers. i nervously tug my suit collar and lean towards the mic #but its not in a romantic subtext and i dont actually like the rom ship #the crowd throws tomatoes at me and i sadly walk off stage #LIKE OKAY LISTEN i do not understand the rom aspect people seem to cling to. but I Get sifloop. does this make sense #there is no rom aspect with them to me. loop hates themself and their care for sif is the second chance they never got #basic human empathy no longer exists when you aren't really 'human' anymore #<<< said by my lovely friend jesper cause yeah. they get it. we get it #so now my struggle is making this playlist and sending beams of 'please god this isnt rom' to anyone who may listen to it lmao #busy.🐝

[girlwiththegreenhat]

a dude my ma works with at amazon died of a stroke on the job because they force them to work in hot conditions and they refused him water. they bring in modified temperature readers so they can say "see, it's a safe temperature in here, all up to code uwu" but someone snuck in their own temp reader and it was much hotter than they claim it is.

it was ninety degrees Fahrenheit. heavy lifting for several hours at a time, no water, in 90 degree loading docks.

stop fucking using amazon. or at the very least, fucking unionize.

#amazon #anti capitalism #fuck amazon #liz blogs #i am so relentlessly pissed off #stop accepting corporate nihilism. stop letting them get away with it. stop prioritizing convenience over human fucking decency #i have so many horror stories about amazon i am not fucking shopping there anymore #i mean i already have hardly shopped at amazon for years. i only buy a couple things there because i can't find them anywhere else #i am done. i am over it. no fucking more. amazon can eat my fucking ass #things aren't going to get better if people don't start giving a shit. i am giving a shit. #they treat my mom bad. they treat their workers bad. people are dying. #people are striking left and right. shitty unregulated chinese companies are stealing from people who can't fight back en-mass. #can't fucking do it anymore man. i am so mad. #on that note if you shop on temu/wish/shein/etc fucking block me.

[poisonousquinzel]

sorry but if you actually think Cancel Culture ™ is a thing then you're kinda a dumb fuck. Cancel culture isn't real, holding people accountable for their actions is a thing, but this whole narrative around Canceling that's evolved over the past few years isn't real. It's never been an actual thing. Its just a fear mongering tactic to further vilify the groups who were being harmed in the first place and victimize the person who did something wrong.

Your fav being called out for playing an antisemitic video game that directly gives profits to a hugely influential TERF, who's said openly she sees getting profits / royalty cheques from her franchise as endorsements for her bigotry, is not "cancel culture". It's called the consequences for your actions.

You have every right to do and play whatever the fuck you want, but that goes both ways. If you go out of your way to build up and financially support these people who're openly advocating to take away trans people's rights, then you get to deal with people not trusting you because of it. You get to deal with trans and Jewish folks not feeling safe around you, not wanting to be around you or not wanting to talk to you. Because you have shown that you care more about nostalgia and temporary personal emotional gratification over the wellbeing and safety of those communities in the real world.

People have explained why supporting HL is wrong, people have explained why it's harmful, people have explained in detail the issues with this situation. You. Just. Don't. Care. You don't listen, or read, because in the end, you can't be bothered enough to put in the effort of having 1 moment of critical thinking.

It's not that folks don't have arguments or evidence, it's that it clearly does not matter to you. It's that the value of an antisemitic game full of one horrific thing after another is worth more to you than the real, living breathing people who are going to be, and have been, affected by this.

You come across as a bad person. Not because some person on Twitter determined you must be, but because your actions speak far louder. And they're screaming red flags.

I'm not going to argue with you over your own bad decisions and life choices. You've made your bed and are mad that people are telling you to lie in it.

#not dc #i need to not focus on this but it makes me so annoyed #and like the constant 'well hp has been a comfort thing of mine since childhood!' like bitch do you think Harry Potter was a niche little #thing???? #a fucking lot of us had Harry Potter as something important to us growing up #i remember getting all the legos sets for Christmas in 2011. getting the lego video games and i loved them! #but. that. doesn't. matter. #we're not children anymore and she's not on our side. #JKR made it clear that a large portion of her previous fan base are not welcome around her and that frankly #that she would rather them be dead. #she's a horrendous human being who is causing so much pain and anguish for communities that're just trying to exist #and its built upon the empire she crafted. the one full of stereotypes and offensive imagery and tone-deaf themes. #we aren't kids anymore and it's shameful to gloss over what she is actively doing Right Now because You have fond memories of her world. #a lot of people don't get the luxury of pretending like she's not an awful person because they're the ones she's harming #they're the ones she's spreading hateful rhetoric and stereotypes about. the ones that she's pushing to get their rights taken away. #just put down her shitty fuckhng series and read another book. #i promise you there's hundreds upon hundreds of better ones out there with better plots and better world building. #anti harry potter #anti jkr #anti hogwarts legacy #tw transphobia mention #tw antisemitism mention #figure I'll tw tag just in case ya got it filtered 💖

[industria-adastra]

[Puella Magi Madoka Magica] - Love, love, love (I watched you behind bars) - [3/3] - I do adore thee

Prev

Summary: Swallow your guilt, swallow your pain. There's always a price to pay for love.

------

To love was to let go.

Homura loved, loved, loved. She tore her from the sky and then wrapped them all in silk chains. A shattered girl with the power to change the world was not fit to be loved, but she could love in turn. 

Loving meant giving. A golden cage, endless paths, endless lifetimes of smooth sailing and all the luck in the world.

Loving meant stepping back before the world shattered like her too.

She loved her especially. Dearly, violently, madly, gently. She loved her with all she had, a weak, gasping, stuttering heart patched and sewn together with raw magic. She loved her, even from far far away, watching as she slept with another loved one—joy from another in the creases at the corners of her eyes.

Homura loved Madoka, old and grey over and over again, but she did not let go.

(For Homura, to love was to stay and never let go)

#my writing #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #angst #akemi homura #homura akemi #character study #fanfiction #drabble #madohomu #post rebellion #ngl i think this probably could be sort of an AU? #like a really messed up reincarnation AU that's only a reincarnation AU because the girls aren't human anymore and they're not ascending #due to sheer willpower from our beloved akuma homura #who's pining in the background like the most wet and pathetic 2nd male lead in a romance novel/manga/manhwa/yeah you get the gist

[aro-sora]

Heartless

This month's Carnival of Aros theme is "Humanity and the Non-Human" and these prompts were particularly resonant with me:

It’s been a fairly well-documented phenomenon that many aromantics tend to feel some sort of connection to some sort of fictional non-human species, whether as specific examples, or as a whole. If you relate, what are your thoughts on these characters and concepts as an aro(-spec)? Do you have any experiences in any subcultures related to non-humanity, such as Voidpunk?

So I thought I'd write something about my personal experiences.

It will come as no surprise to people who follow this blog that I am a heartless aromantic and I'm also a huge Kingdom Hearts fan. (To anyone who isn't familiar with KH, in the games there are beings of darkness called Heartless. There's a lot of designs and some are cooler than others so here are a few of my favorites:)

[ID: Various Heartless from Kingdom Heartles, in order, a Shadow, a Neoshadow, a Soldier, and a Darkling. End ID]

These beings are both literally and very much not literally (it's complicated) heartless. They are manifestations of the darkness in people's hearts and seek to steal more hearts to transform into Heartless.

(something something beings that are recognizably human but also . . . not and yet still have the instinctual desire to reclaim what was taken)

A common stereotype about aromantic people is that we are heartless and unfeeling because we don't experience romantic love. Aromanticism may influence a person's emotions and definitely impacts views on romance, but to say that all aros are cold and emotionless is hurtful and arophobic. But I also genuinely identify with the term "heartless." Not feeling romantic attractions makes me feel alienated from amatonormative society, and "heartless aro" is the best way for me to describe that feeling.

My love of Kingdom Hearts is also a huge influence on that. When I say KH rewired my brain, it's only a half joke. I was 5-6 years old when I first discovered these games and this bizarre Disney/Final Fantasy crossover was a very formative experience. "Heartless" is not just a way to describe my aromanticism, its a defining aspect.

What is it, to be Heartless? To be human, once, but now something . . . other: a being born of darkness. Darkness is a force that is often used for evil, but still KH makes a point of not making it inherently evil. Darkness exists in every heart. It can overwhelm, but it can also be accepted and mastered, like in Riku's case. To choose to become Heartless, in Sora's case, is a defining moment of humanity.

My blog url might be aro-sora (because let's be honest, he's super arospec) but the title, "My Heart Belongs to Me," is quote from Roxas, one of the best examples in KH of someone being denied humanity for supposedly not having a heart, yet being one of the most caring and emotional characters in the series. He's not an actual capital-H Heartless (that's Sora, briefly) but his story and his struggles just . . . resonate with me. "I am me! Nobody else!" I want for people to stop thinking of me as something I am not, as desiring relationships I don't want, or even being a gender I am not.

I don't have much experience with voidpunk culture (but now I want to look into it), but recently I discovered the term otherhearted: "Identifying strongly with something nonhuman and/or fictional, without literally identifying as that thing." (I'm a bit on the fence between being otherhearted and otherkin, but otherheart literally has the word "heart" in it and the KH influence is strong.) It's a very queer experience to want to change your identity and be something other than what people see you as. Sometimes I imagine that for myself—claws of darkness, eyes of burning gold. Darkness cannot exist without light, but neither can light exist without darkness. Nothing can destroy me, because I am the shadow at the very heart of the world.

I guess that would make me Heartless-hearted. An ironic term, I know, but similarly to my personal heartless aro identity I find it absolutely hilarious. So many parts of my identity are "contradictions": being bigender, being human and heartless. It fits with the lore of the Heartless themselves: some technically do possess hearts and some don't. (it's complicated)

I call myself heartless the same way I call myself queer. Bigots will use them as insults and an attempt to make me lesser and other and nonhuman, but to me these are my words. They are mine and I give them power, no one else. Someone thinks I'm "heartless" for not experiencing a certain feeling? Fuck them, I AM heartless. And I am still human because I choose to be, not because humanity is something to be given or taken away. I don't have to prove anything about myself to anyone. I define my own heart, NO ONE ELSE.

And if they still think that being heartless—being aromantic—is something "wrong" or "unnatural" or not human? I only have a warning for them:

Beware the darkness in your heart. The Heartless prey upon it.

#kh #carnival of aros #a carnival of aros #aromantic #aro #heartless #heartless aro #otherhearted #my ideal gender presentation is either a mix of masculine and feminine or literally just a neoshadow. or a darkling #semi-related note: the terms “Heartless” and “Nobody” make sense for their respective beings and I will fight anyone who says otherwise #i was very tempted to include images of the wackier heartless designs but it would have taken away from the point #non kh fans reading this i highly recommend browsing the kh wiki and seeing all the designs. some are . . . interesting #like scar. yes. scar the lion from the lion king #you may have heard of him #i also use loveless and lovequeer but mostly heartless because. as i said. the kh influence is very strong #it's about beings that USED TO BE human but AREN'T ANYMORE yet still have that instinctive desire to restore their missing heart #*gestures wildly to the air* DO YOU SEE MY POINT #ITS ABOUT A SCARED CONFUSED BOY HAVING EVERYTHING TAKEN AWAY AND HUMANITY DENIED FROM HIM YET STILL SO PAINFULLY HUMAN #i'm going to go cry about roxas now #happy spooky month everybody!

[incorrectinfinity]

God istat is so so good fuckkk

#🎀.txt #ok spoiler zone in these tags please be warned #how this game humanizes its characters is so so unique and special #they're all based on classic rpg tropes on a base level sure #but the more you know about them and their lives and their problems and their personalities #you see that they are so much more than that #siffrin knew this to an extent too. even more than the player. #but then without you even realizing... they revert #they go back to being characters #ones with predetermined actions lines and feelings #ones that as the game goes on and Siffrin continues to get stronger... become less and less valuable to you #to the point where you skip everything you can #to the point where you can begin to quote them on even the most random possible dialog opportunities #and the thing about that... the thing about these beautiful characters becoming nothing more than something to skip through #to ignore #to treat as a burden #to space out during #is that siffrin is right there with you #these people aren't his friends. they aren't even characters anymore. they're actors in a play made to drive you insane. #so they act with them. they join this play #this never-ending play of insanity #and he plays his role WELL #to the point where you. the player. see the main character as an actor. #and siffrin sees themself as a disgusting manipulative liar playing his friends for fools. #no not even his friends #because they aren't their friends anymore #they're actors. they're fictional characters. #and siffrin misses and loves his FRIENDS. not whoever these... things are #because they aren't even actors anymore #because actors are people. and people change. these are just fictional characters now. and siffrin is stuck with them.

[piplupod]

okay also honestly a lot of the reasons ppl give for hating children also are things that disabled adults have going on.

i have friends who have a hard time with volume control, i have friends who drool, i have friends who have a runny nose constantly due to medication side effects, i have friends who get "over-excited" and loud about it, i have friends who struggle with impulse control, i have friends who struggle with motor control and are messy eaters because of it and might be a bit sticky sometimes (or all the time), and all of these friends are adults.

and i think it's really fucking weird that people loudly talk about hating children for these reasons when plenty of adults also possess those traits/behaviours/struggles/etc.

#i dont know !! just rubs me the wrong way #you can be bothered sure but like... to say you Despise a wide group of people is ... strange to me #also why tf do u have to make everyone know abt it. u can keep that to urself u know? why do u have to tell everyone u Hate kids #and they talk abt all the ways theyre disgusting and obnoxious when... a lot of adults have those same qualities ur describing 😐 #''thought crimes aren't real!'' okay sure but like. this isnt a thought anymore when u share it with ppl #so yeah im gonna get kind of irritated if u announce how much u hate children - an often abused group of humans - online or irl #like just... keep it to urself. its not just a thought anymore if ur sharing it lol so dont whine and bitch abt ''thought crime'' #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[musical-chick-13]

*sigh* I think. I think I'm gonna have to find somewhere to Talk About It.

#not HERE obviously God no #but like. somewhere. #because this particular issue is. for real ruining my ability to do anything. #I would like to not routinely cry over it at 3 am and I would like to not avoid doing so many things that are important to me because of it #and I'm making it a part of therapy but sometimes you just...need to talk to a peer and not a medical professional #my therapist is wonderful but they aren't a substitute for an equal relationship and same-page full human connection #the problem lies in the fact that anyone who might be able to help peer-wise I absolutely don't fucking trust lmao #I feel like there isn't a single person who would hear me out without either abandoning me or permanently backing off on our friendship #and maybe that's not fair but I feel like I don't have the luxury of fairness anymore

[quietwingsinthesky]

god the idea of a version of spn where uriel survives until the end is fascinating to me actually. i feel like part of the problem with castiel's character is that he's so disconnected, you'll get an angel a season there to work as castiel's parallel and then they're killed off and never brought up again. but uriel? the first one we see him with? who is so diametrically opposed to castiel in s4?

if he makes it to s5, does he team up with lucifer? he'd be the only angel that we know of who does. Abandon All Hope, but it's not castiel meeting a stranger, but Castiel also meeting with someone he considered a friend, who he would still consider a brother, and still having to tell him no. and Uriel throws his lot in with Lucifer, and that means he has to spend more time with demons? is there any part of him that looks at them and realizes that everyone on both sides is serving a god that doesn't want to look at them.

s6!! Lucifer lost!!! and that makes Uriel a traitor to Heaven so he can't go to Raphael, no matter how their goals may almost align (in the opening of the Cage, less so in who they're opening it for) and he can't go to Castiel! too much bad blood! too much betrayal! Where do you go during a civil war when both sides would prefer you dead?

Look, I don't know where this is going, but what I'm saying is, wouldn't it have been interesting to see Castiel and Uriel evolve as characters alongside each other. We know Castiel before Heaven gets blown to bits and falls, and that's why seeing the effects on him hurt so bad, the way he just loses more and more of what he tried to once save, uncovers more and more of how Heaven has been hurting angels. Just one other angel to react to that in a similar way but with a completely different viewpoint would have made it even more effective, and Uriel is perfect for that.

(I mean, in my mind, this ends as I always wish the whole heaven and angels arc in spn had, where those left over finally come together, look at the ruins that have been brought about, and take what they have been forced to learn to work together and build something better. rather than. you know. handing the reins to a three year old.)

#spn #supernatural #uriel spn #castiel spn #im not going to pretend uriel isnt an asshole. he is. have you considered this could be a good trait #spn but castiel has one 'friend' who looks at how he's being treated and goes. fuck this actually. #(they are not really friends. not anymore. but they are also two of the last angels. so who else do they have) #if we have to sit through multiple seasons of sam & dean going... yeah but. things that aren't human aren't worth protecting. #then it seems fitting to have a constant character to go 'actually everything that isn't human is fine. you all fucking suck.' #neither of them are right! big plot twist! spn but actually everyone deserves to live lmao #but actually have them fucking confront these things with each other. #with castiel at the center. just trying to mediate this. mostly failing. #NO WAIT IM THINKING ABOUT HUMAN!CAS ARC #BUT INSTEAD OF THAT RANDOM ANGEL GETTING CALLED BY CAS' SUICIDAL THOUGHTS #ITS URIEL. URIEL 'i'll kill her gentle' about anna being human SPN. LIKE. FUCK! THAT'S COMPELLING! #sorry im rambling about him he is so fun. he's a cunt. more characters should be and then not be punished by the writers.

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎

#sterechats :) #09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway #what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again? #probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D #10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire #like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it #I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring! #but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3 #11:00 pm - I need to get out of here #I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me #everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense #why am I even writing these tags what does it matter #I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing #maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore #I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha #11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one #how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good #everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now #here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah) #11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive #in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love #I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day #maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it! #maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead... #1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am #not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep #and I don't want this to post when I'm awake #I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always #because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really #I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay

[lemonduckisnowawake]

I'm scared. I'm getting more notes on things than what actually shows up. Time to play the game: have I accidentally blocked someone, is it just a private blog, has someone blocked *me* by accident, or am I being haunted?

From all circumstancial evidence, I'm gonna go with the last one

#it makes sense #the ghosts are finally all tired about me claiming to be one of them #i can almost hear them screaming 'this poser! let her feel our wrath!' #I'm sorry guys. I'm so sorry #but couldn't you take a much kinder revenge than making my precious. precious numbers not align? #the humanity....oh wait. you guys aren't human anymore. never mind #lemon duck quacks #ah how i love to be dramatic in semi public spaces #anyway probably the ducks and the vampires will be after me for posing as one of them too #if i disappear suddenly for more than a week. assume one of the three has caught me

[dogs-in-a-trenchcoat]

Can't believe I'm still stumbling across exclus in fuckin 2023 im so tired.

#No cops at pride includes exclus (and terfs) #Like who made you the queer police shut the fuck up #Identities aren't toys #People will identify themselves where they belong #Some aspec folks won't identify as queer and that doesn't invalidate those that do #It feels like the diagram of queer folk who accuse others of wrongfully identifying as queer for social cred or whatever #And people who want being queer to be some cool kids club by excluding the people they don't like is a circle #Like it's all fucking projection #You don't know others experiences! You don't know why someone comes to the conclusions they do about their identity and you don't need to! #Like I'm sorry that when I came out as ace my mom called me a sociopath and when I came out as lesbian she said 'oh thank god' #But that's just how it was for me #If being marginalzied/discriminated/hated is the only qualifier for being queer i would literally only qualify on basis of being ace #Because nobody has ever given me any shit about being a butch lesbian #But I have been singled out for being ace I have been called sub human for being ace I have been called mentally ill for being ace #I have had people encourage corrective rape for my asexuality I have had people tell me to get medical intervention for being asexual #But it's a good thing the only qualifier for being queer is to have an identity that falls outside cishetero social norms #Otherwise I wouldn't be allowed to identify as queer as a lesbian if I suddenly wasn't ace anymore until I got hatecrimed oh no