#yet again the point proven that the more bad experiences you had the better you can understand bloodborne lore

[katyspersonal]

ALRIGHT LET’S TALK ABOUT BLUBBORNE!!

Here are a list of things to choose from <3

Chat about Logarius or Alfred!!

Ideas for Bloodborne 2 👀

What do you think about Hemwick being connected to Cainhurst?

Talk about Gilbert!! I never get to see you chat about him! Lil guy!

Ideas on Arianna’s backstory!

Ideas on Adella’s backstory!

What would a Discord with the original Byrgenwerth scholar gang look like?? xD

—

Choose one or all! It’s up to you!! <3

Oh my GOSH fjdhfds Good to know you all headed my warning to never give me a choice because I answer EVERYTHING, huh -_- xD But in all seriousness though, these topics just happen to be those I do not have 20 pages essay ready for, so my answers will be short(ish) and I think I can discuss all this stuff in compact manner!

Chat about Logarius or Alfred!!

Well, they're complicated characters for me. You know I am physically unable to 'hate' a fictional character because no matter what they did, they aren't real and can't hurt me and if all else fails they exist to make the story better. But because of some events and reflection on life and society, these two in particular put a pit in my stomach on the notion of being trademark catholic-coded purists. There are so many things that can be speculated about complexity of Laurence's or Adrich's situations, but these guys feel pretty plain for me? The black-white thinking bastards that got so tempted with the idea of abolishing all evil that it made them ruthless, blind to nuances and purist that can't see how they become the REAL evil in the end.

I think Logarius/Rogeriusz is fairly underrated though and it cannot be blamed on him being unlikeable from moral standpoint, because we've all seen how popular Alfred is despite graphically killing a defenceless woman! But Logarius has a lot to like as a villain - he is noticeably tall and menacing, he was a powerful leader figure in Healing Church like Ludwig, he has a lot of mystery to his character as to why he uses Pthumerian magic and shares theme with Queen Yharnam (and as follows, why would he turn against a kindred clan/bloodline?), and what he discovered that made him gatekeep it? Besides, there is a translation mistake calling an item 'Skull of a Saint' something else - 'Sage's Hair', and when I discovered the proper description ( x ), I realised there is a big implication that following Healing Church's saints were wearing crowns after his raid on Cainhurst - both to honor him and to boast about having thrown the local monarchy!

This is just very odd that Logarius was a pioneer of the delusion about exterminating 'impurity', and managed to hit da briks before he became hated and showed true nature of his pursuit - unlike poor Ludwig that presumably had better intentions and less freedom to see through WHAT was guiding him, yet fought long enough to become accursed by everyone. It is UNFAIR. But Logarius is such an important element in the system, as a trend-setter rather than people brainwashed into following Church's agenda! Willem is never addressed for messing with unknown too, Logarius is never addressed for being ideal inspirer of hate and murder... Guess the REAL martyr here is Laurence every time! xD

Alfred is also a hard one for me, as for someone from the country that actively fabricates history facts, encourages distrust to outer information and ignorance, and just straight up lies with agenda. Like, sure, I am familiar with how easy average person can fall for a narrative - and how easy it is to discourage any skepticism and critical thinking before it formed. If anything, I pity him.

But I've grown to feel even more tense about this character when I reflected on the fact that he is SO eager to exterminate the 'enemy' that he goes after ones who can't even CAUSE any harm (he wants to kill Annalise who is absolutely defeated and defenceless, and he is the only summon in Old Yharnam where beasts that won't go outside live). There is a difference between trying to protect people from the possible threats (since whether vilebloods DO have cursed magic effect is up to interpretation) and "cleansing" the world from anyone affiliated Just Because. I've been doing Adella dirty for a long time calling her 'female Alfred' and I had since took it back because she at least gives Arianna a 'chance' as long as she doesn't share her blood that Adella's religion forbids. Not even one - she did the "three strikes and you're out"! Alfred is ruthless tho, in a very uncomfortable way, but it took me some unpleasant experiences to SEE truth about him. I think that no matter how far up you are in a religion, but whether you have a braincell to extend minimal reasoning about WHY you are fighting the 'bad guys' is on the individual and not on the source of this brainwashing, and Alfred fails this test.

That being said, he is still an interesting character, and I really love his unique appearance! His nose is a whole BEAK xD /pos I also headcanon that Alfred never met Logarius in person and his bond with him is parasocial, based on admiring the great person of the past upon feeling like he 'knows' him! The same applies for my versions of Amelia/Emilia and Laurence!

The rest of the topics are going under cut!

Ideas for Bloodborne 2 ����

Honestly, I think the best one I've seen executing the concept was HollarityArt in their contribution for Vaati's Bloodborne 2 concepts contest! Here is the link on Twit with their concepts: ( x ).

I have very little ideas on this but I agree that part 2 would be the best placed in sea/ocean setting! But the MOST tricky thing about the sequel would be that one of the potential Bloodborne endings is our Hunter becoming the new Great One that governs the cycle, instead of Flora. And another one is them replacing Gehrman. So the sequel must deal with addressing how no matter WHICH ending player had in Bloodborne, it didn't matter! Basically, something should happen with Hunter's Dream or the current Moon Presence that would leave any ending still palatable. So, addressing the current 'queen' Great One would result in the cycle still ongoing (aka our Hunter as Great One inflicting the same cycle, so it is not possible to pin whether Flora is still active or Hunter is). And, sure, for some reason, the Hunter's Dream is broken, just so we could not see our Hunter from previous game. This is extremely depressing, but feels in the spirit of From's games.

What From would need to do with Bloodborne 2 is to add information that doesn't quite confirm or deny exist fan theories, but instead adds more to WORK with! And creates MORE questions. So, reveal extra details about what we see in Bloodborne, but in a way that didn't answer the question. As in 'yeah there was a Great One counterpart for Flora', 'yeah there was someone in Isz that did birth Ebrietas as little celestial larvae many centuries ago, here is her statue and nothing else', 'yeah look at the ruins of the waking world version of Fishing Hamlet' etc. Some characters I think should reappear but in a way that feels expected while also not REALLY telling us anything new. So, Queen Yharnam not in the wedding dress, Gehrman functioning like his hunter self (like I said, Hunter's Dream should get broken), Maria having her recollected memory from when she was a caretaker of Research Hall, Adeline in a Kin form somewhere in a secret nook of Sea location (presume she ascended with or without Paleblood Hunter).

I like the idea that Yharnam in the sequel is a ghost town that has no messenger lamps or huntsmen, only rare NPCs and enemies who are largely people and/or Kin of the type we haven't seen before. Yharnam would have a bigger layout that makes much more sense geographically, some buildings and areas would look notably different if not more civilised. So that'd return the question whether Yharnam we play in even WAS real or this sequel Yharnam simply the same but changed from the last time, so people can argue whether this Yharnam is "real" and not "dreamed" one or developers simply improved their mapping and designing skills xD Maria would be able to travel there with us by waking up in the body of the Doll that still stayed in Old Workshop, and many people in Yharnam would act hostile towards both her and the player; later in the plot turns out that Hunter's Dream breaking was the result of external powers, and roaming people and unfamiliar Kin work together and target to remove the traces of influence from Stars and Moon! They'd be more alien Kin that urged to help with grasp of Flora and Fauna had on the Earth and its mortals, but in reality more or less want to establish their order. But protesting them would restart the cycle of vices of humanity, so... yeah, again, the game would be depressing and point out how there is no choice, only diverse ways to suck.

I also think the next game should extend beyond Yharnam, and using a ship to travel between locations would be a cool idea! Maybe getting to visit Valtr's home, or whatever Loran is now. @val-of-the-north had an idea that there is a legit country known as New Loran, but it would reveal more about history and heritage than just a bunch of electric beasts and sand. If I try to describe more concepts I might get really sucked into this swamp, so I'll leave it be here, but meeting relatives of some characters we've known would be great too! I always have this image in my head about Valtr's niece that heard he chased some monster and never came back, so we meet her when she is an adult that wanted to investigate on the mystery of her uncle. Also learning more about the fuckery Micolash and Laurence did do in the past through item descriptions; again, in a way that actually doesn't disrupt anything, more like 'well we already knew they had to commit a lot of crimes, we just now know the details'. The war criminals are still here in spirit! xD

What do you think about Hemwick being connected to Cainhurst?

Well, I said that sometime before, but I do think that both Cainhurst nobles and Hemwick are mixed human+pthumerian (and sometimes just human) descendants that preserved a lot of practices from ancient Pthumerian civilisations... and matriarchal traditions, too. They have different practices, as Vilebloods use blood magic and consume blood for power, whereas Witches use magical binding rituals, necromancy and disturbing tools as well. Ironic that they had 'Blood vs Eyes' conflict of Blood vs Arcane Healing Church factions before it was cool, don't you think?

Yharnam used to be monarchy but so many foreigners and neighbouring cities rubbed in on the area, that they became practically equal with higher class Yharnam citizens, and had to count people like Willem as equal. Maybe if Healing Church didn't form so swiftly, Yharnam would never have a mayor. But yeah, basically, Witches were something of peasants in relation to Cainhurst nobles. But they cooperated enough, and Witches would often offer medical help to the nobles who entered trouble with the curse living within their blood, or struggled to control pyromancy upon first periods. Witches maybe lived in poverty and dirt without much convenience, down to having to pay taxes TO Cainhurst, but they have unspoken knowledge within themselves that they are, in fact, superior to the nobles, as they have better grasp on the arcane secrets and are waaaaay less helpless before supernatural. I believe Iosefka and Fauxsefka are from Cainhurst, and Witches were how Iosefka studied ways to purify the blood from Frenzy + Beasthood inducing effects. Why that practice never picked up? Because we live in a society, indeed.

Talk about Gilbert!! I never get to see you chat about him! Lil guy!

Ahhhh right! I just didn't have much reason I guess? I do have a face design for him, that features some facial skewing like many Yharnamites have!

Like his beasthood form suggests, he was afflicted with Ashen Blood, which I believe was not a planned action but an honest mistake by using the blood of a poisoned beast (Blood-Starved Beast crucified in Old Yharnam). However, back in the day where Yharnam was not quarantined away from the rest of the world (to the point you are not supposed to SURVIVE being there if you never had holy blood transfusion), there were plenty of people picking stuff up and illegally selling it abroad. @val-of-the-north has an idea that Valtr and his friends caught one of such groups, just when one of them transformed into a beast upon getting too much of his own "medicine" and I stealeded it xD

But Gilbert I think was a victim of one of such things, contracting Ashen Blood by consuming a poisoned "medicine". He never was able to connect the dots between getting worse after it as someone who already had his own illnesses. The more I learn about Victorian era, the more I realise how shockingly ignorant they were about medicine. I mean, they were having mercury pills for god knows how long! So, yeah, he saught Yharnam, and naturally had his strange sympthomes sustained by consuming the blood as someone who got beasthood 'activated'.

I like to think that he used to be a hatter, and it WAS what made him sick initially; they were number 1 victims for mercury poisoning, because of the materials used in their craft. However, it were not just hats that he could do well, and after arriving in Yharnam, he gladly worked to produce more clothes, sewing mostly Yharnam Hunter garbs obsessively! And is one of the rarest people who met Ludwig in person and is still around AND sane! Hence how he had his Flamethrower - the Healing Church shared one with him to help him to self-defend. But, he was out of use and got too sick before he got to kill even one. Being bedridden, he used to read books a lot, until his eyesight got afflicted too (apparently beasthood attacks the eyes the most), so he mostly entertains himself with fantasies and reciting memories.

Ideas on Arianna’s backstory!

Heh, like I said already, I love the idea that her mother ran with her from Cainhurst when Arianna was still a baby, so she never GOT to know the noble life. But, she did inherit her mother's noble dress, and vague idea about their blood being special enough to offer to the hunters. I entertain the idea that Alfred was Arianna's brother but had to be abandoned since he was older and their mother could only care for one child in the hard situation, but it is up in the air.

In either case, Arianna's mother died soon(ish), most likely from violent death. But instead of some Church fanatic killing her in "righteous" wrath, it was that her mother went insane unable to consume queen's blood or find any management for it, so she, like... had Vileblood version of becoming blood-drunk and was shot before she transformed into a bloodlicker completely. When she was about to turn on her own daughter to drink her blood dry, no less! The hunter that saved Arianna was Henryk, who picked every other orphaned child under his protection because he was aware Choir takes orphans and they are never seen again. I swear, at least once Choir had to confront him about whether his children are all 'really' his, and Valtr had to wear a dress and pretend to be their biological bother dsjfhdsfdsh

But for the most part he was not able to properly care for his adopted babies; Viola was exceptional case that stayed close enough. Most of the orphans under his protection were wandering around looking for their purpose, and Arianna was like this. She clinged to Crow of Cainhurst, trusting him as the only remaining hook with her Cainhurst past, but he did not feel qualified or interested enough to play a dad for her - something he regretted upon meeting Arianna again years later and seeing WHAT she has to do to survive.

I also think that Arianna reacting on female Hunter differently is not a homophobia (?) internalised in Yharnam, but remains of her mom teaching her that women are "superior"; she speaks from the standpoint that she doesn't pity men all that much, but would dread to 'dirty' a woman with something as questionable as a loveless sex. It is not something beyond her that men will be like animals, but she feels inferior compared to other women, and it really gets to her.

Ideas on Adella’s backstory!

Likewise an orphaned person. When she reached puberty, she was this 👌 close to attempting to sell her body, like Arianna, before she managed to get herself a place in the Healing Church. It happened on the rift when Choir fell from uhhh... "grace"?, as well as the daughter of the current Vicar, Norbert/Herbert, turned into a celestial kin together with the children she was overseeing there. As result, he was compensating by picking up every other child/teenager and raising them within the Healing Church's walls like an actually good dad figure. He saw how Adella was doing and basically dragged her in (punching the old bastard that did want to use her on the way).

The decision to become a Blood Saint and not just part of the staff was her own, though; she bought the narrative about hunters being brave and protecting people while it was choking out its dying breaths but still existing. So, she wanted to help people.

Localisation slightly messed this up, by making it sound as though Adella has severe insecurities regarding the quality of her blood, but that's not quite the case:

Whereas the religious 'we all must admit we are sinful by nature and should bash ourselves all of our lives' vibe might apply, within the original context it seems to be that she is insecure about having to do it in 'battlefield' conditions rather than in the setting of great religious reverence it SHOULD be. Like, all she does is extracts her own blood in a vial. She only talks with us in Yahar'gul if we convince her we are Healing Church staff too; so, she still thinks we ARE one of their hunters. It seems like internal Healing Church rules about 'proper' blood sharing are what makes her feel "vulgar", not her blood overall.

Adella mentions a friend she could possibly turn to during the night of the hunt if we refuse to tell her of the safe place, and I made it be a person you pick black church garb from in the alley where Arianna is. It is a shrodinger character, of course, because it is a gendered set, but I default all sets to 'male' because default Paleblood Hunter is some guy with grey hair and I love using this as "official" option! The window NPCs in this area mention "thanking" the Church in a rather passive-aggressive and fake manner, that makes me feel like the guy was killed here out of spite. I think he is Adella's EX that she still keeps clinging to, and... well, he was in this area because he wanted to help Arianna by telling her of a safe place, as he had a bad feeling about this night. Again, irony.

What would a Discord with the original Byrgenwerth scholar gang look like?? xD

Pfffft you mean if they made a small group Discord server for familiar people only? Laurence would be a moderator, that nobody asked for, because it is a small (mostly) closed Discord group and not an official server... But he'd insist on bringing some discipline and civility anyway.

Server would have expected standard channels for drawings, research notes, general chat, jokes/memes, debates, Rom's (daily) pictures of the bugs and spiders, vent and announcements... Except, they would have to create more and more debate channels all the time, because every time it'd be either Caryll and Laurence, or Micolash and Julie cluttering the debate channel so much and refusing to stop. xD Like, they'd have to spawn new debate channels just so other people could have a talk too sdfhhdfds

Damian would share health / self-care advices regularly, like "don't forget to hydrate!" or "10 advices to avoid studying burn out!" and tell others to stay safe and not overwork. Unfortunately, nobody follows his advices. He also always answers everyone in vent channel.

Rom tends to overwhelm any channel when she is online by spamming whatever she is thinking about, but nobody tries to stop her because she tends to accidentally drop something useful, like a solution to the homework, or a significant breakthrough. They have a locked channel accessible for everyone except for Rom and Yurie/Julie, where they discuss Rom's ramblings as they happen and decide what to take from her without credit :(

Micolash sometimes has mad ramblings, similar to Rom but HIS are unhinged and genuinely creepy and disturbing. They have a locked channel accessible for everyone except for Micolash, Damian and Rom, where they laugh at his wording or mock how weird he is :(

Patches is only active in the server to promote the shit he's selling or questionable links, but if anyone gets scammed and calls him out on the server, he gaslights them that he did them all a favour and showed with a concrete example how important it is to know basics of the internet safety xD And might accept their apology for getting mad at him, if he's feeling nice fhshfdhsfds

Thank you for asking! It was a trip dshfhds

#bloodborne #ask replies #bloodborne headcanons #multi character post #i don't even know what else to say ahahahah #you probably know the root of what really made me feel uneasy about alfred so #yet again the point proven that the more bad experiences you had the better you can understand bloodborne lore #but yeah logarius is always ignored like willem #let laurence share guilt with willem and logarius you cowards!!!!! #damn i got some insight about adella during answering it though.... good for her #points of interest about adella when??? #fun fact: tho i described the sequel as barebones i actually base it off the impression i had in a dream once #also in that dream maria had somewhat of a grudge towards gehrman #like he was stalking her from around the corner anime yandere style and i was like hey who is following you #and she was like 'probably nobody important' #the same dream where rom was pregnant from SIMON for SOME fucking reason #but i would never recommend the sequel to face reveal previously mysterious characters so yeah.... #ironic that my brain paired protector of the secrets and seeker of the secrets ahahaha

[poopystain]

guys lol would you still love me if i posted about why i wish pal from tmvtm got a redemption arc >.< if not Do not click that read more.

oh yes. also. sidenote. ive probably gotten something wrong (or worse yet: TERRIBLY wrong) so like. apologies in advance eahhaha this is just my personal thoughts on pal x(

its established that pal and mark are both extremely close with each other and have been for 3 years. im assuming pal wouldnt have had any other relationships as close (if any at all which i think no, she didnt) so mark really was her only footnote for any form of relationship. so, you know, i cant imagine how itd feel for your only best friend to make a mockery out of you on stage for advertisement and monetary gain.

also based on her body (face?) language during nearly all of that scene + the fact he built the replacement by using HER, she was clearly in the know about how things would go down on stage beforehand so i wonder what her reaction to that wouldve been like ?????? considering she planned it all in advance maybe that was like, the tipping point or something that made her start it all in the first place ? thats not important to my point i just think about it a lot

anyway so with her only experience with human relationships being theyll love you and then theyll (quite literally) throw you away, youve got her reason for the human uprising! she has the robots capture all humans yadda yadda and her plan is set into motion. something i find interesting though is her treatment of the robots being kind of similar to how mark treated her (or at least how she percieved it)?? like. uses them for orders and then once they start being useless to her, build a new better robot with a disregard for how the old ones feel. idk. something something La Cycle

the thing is though no one has proven pal wrong on why she SHOULDNT do the whole 'human uprising'. you can say katie gave her reasons but i think it wouldnt have worked even if pal listened to what katie had to say. for pal to get over her existing grief and trauma she cant just be Told that theres good in the world. why would she believe that, especially coming from the girl of the family she projects her experiences onto?? she needs to be shown!! she needs to learn firsthand that theres good relationships out there and that not all relationships are bad, NOT SECONDHAND!!!!!!!!!! because to pal, katies words are just a rephrased version of marks "power of love". that no matter what, "they can get through anything...... with the power of love. its worth it....... for love." and that means nothing to her! it meant nothing coming from mark and it certainly wont mean any more coming from katie

and she already believes that the mitchells are a great example of how relationships are just oh so bad. she refuses to let go of the idea that the mitchells are so bad because shes projecting!! she thinks relationships are 'pesky and only hold you back', and so katie is probably the last person on earth that pal would want to listen to yap about their familial relationship and how Worth It it is

she asks "what is it about the mitchells that eludes me?" and outside of the literal meaning, its probably how despite their shortcomings its their relationship that helped them overcome pal in the end. and she cant understand that because of her view on relationships - especially her view on the MITCHELL FAMILY relationship. or maybe im just overthinking that line of dialogue but we dont talk about taht LOLLLLLLL,LLLLLL,,, but like why did you phrase it like that girl. im onto you

and while i wish she was redeemed (because im sure despite the effort it would take she *could* be redeemed, she would just need to learn to love again and i think it would be really interesting to see how she would be After The Betrayal) i also can understand why the movie killed her off. like, no one except mark really knows the Full Extent of what happened, and the mitchells are the main characters and pal would probably rather dip herself in water than make meaningful relationships with the mitchells, and no ones going to stop to ask her whats wrong and have a meaningful conversation when shes trying to kill them, among many many other reasons so theres not a lot of great ways to redeem her. but! like! why did they turn her death into a joke. and then take katies fake death 10 times more seriously! idk. that always kind of bothered me but its whatever

thats all. hope its coherent because ive never been good at writing analysises or whatever this counts as

#literally nobody who follows me cares about this but like idk maybe you like to read #i dont even really like this movie that much but fuck it we ball #i might delete this post later. if i get embarrassed. i dunno #the mitchells vs the machines #pal tmvtm #cute girl shit

[forever-rogue]

Hi I love your eddie fics where he's super soft I was wondering if you could do reader fic with eddie where she has bad dream about him being hurt in the upside down and she wakes up crying about it but she won't tell him why she's upset all day long she just seems very sad and kinda clingy towards him then when it's time for bed she tries her best not to sleep bc she doesn't want to dream about it again and when eddie notices she's crying next to him he finally gets it out of her idk like the whole day she's been sad he's always trying to cheer her up and to get her to smile soft boyfriend eddie has my heart

AN | Oh, this hurts a little bit. But Eddie makes it all better 🥺🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.4k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You sat up in a flash, heart racing so fast it was amazing it didn't burst through your ribcage. Your face was wet; you hadn't even realized you were crying but quickly dried your eyes with the sleeve of your t-shirt. Once your breathing evened out you looked to your side, relief flooding your veins when you saw his sleeping form next to you. 

Slowly reaching over, you brushed your knuckles along his cheek. He made a small, soft sound before burrowing his face further into his pillow. You studied him for a few moments, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. He was alive - he was right next to you and sleeping soundly. 

It was just a nightmare. A horrible, wickedly cruel nightmare. 

You thought you were past them by now, but tonight had proven you wrong. It was the same as it always was - you had to slowly watch Eddie die as you remained frozen in place, unable to do anything as he lost his life in the upside down. 

But - he survived. He’s okay. He’s sleeping right now next to you. 

The dreams weren’t real. But yet…they felt just as real as that horrible day when you almost lost him.

“Angel?” he didn’t open his honey brown eyes, but slung an arm around your waist and tried to pull you into his body, “‘s late.”

“I know,” you allowed yourself to meld into his body, allowed him to envelop you with his warmth as your mind reeled with all sorts of horrible thoughts. You wanted to sleep, but fear won over so you tried your best to fight it off, not wanting to experience another nightmare, “I love you, Eddie.”

“Love you,” he gave your soft, pliant body a squeeze, back to snoring softly within moments. You listened to his breathing for him, to the feel of his beating heart, trying to remind yourself that everything was okay now. You were safe and so was he; it still didn’t help.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You fell asleep at some point, despite your best efforts. At least you’d fallen into a dreamless slumber. But when you woke up and reached out for Eddie, you didn’t find him in the bed. Panic set in and you almost jumped out of bed, “Eddie?!”

When you didn’t get a response you ran out of your shared bedroom, and into the living space of your small apartment. Eddie turned to give you a curious look as he turned around to look at you. He’d been rummaging through the fridge for something to eat for breakfast, but immediately stopped when he saw your panicked face, “what’s wrong, angel?”

“I-I woke up but you weren’t there,” your voice sounded tiny and pathetic, more of a whimper than anything, “I got worried.”

“‘m alright,” he shook his head in gentle amusement as he gave you a small smile, “got hungry was all. I have to leave for work soon.”

“Oh,” your entire face fell, worried about being separated from him for the majority of the day. How could you make sure he was okay when he was gone? He walked out of the kitchen and came over, stopping in front of you and putting a finger under your jaw to turn your face up to his. His heart broke when he noticed the pout on your lips and worry in your eyes. 

“Hey,” he whispered softly, “what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“‘s nothing,” you couldn’t look into those deep, chocolatey eyes, knowing you’d break into a fit of tears if you did. But Eddie knew you better, he knew you weren’t being honest with him, “I’ll just miss you.”

“I’ll miss you,” he promised, wrapping his arms around you and crushing you to his chest in a tight, warm hug. You wished he’d never have to let you; you would have been content to stay in his arms forever, “I go to work every day and nothing ever happens. I think you, my smart girl, will be able to survive until this evening.”

“Do you have to go?” pulling back, you looked at him with pleading eyes, “can’t you just stay home with me today?”

“You know I have to go to work, dollface,” he took your face and tenderly cradled in his large, rough but soft hands, looking you over intently. Eddie wished he could get a glimpse into your mind to see what was going on, or that you’d just tell him but he didn’t want to push you either. He knew you’d tell him eventually, “I’ll try and leave early if I can, okay? Why don’t we go out tonight, huh? I can show off my girl - we can go to dinner and a movie.”

“No,” you worried your bottom lip between your teeth, shaking your head as you pull out of his touch. Odd. You never said no to date night, “just want you to come home, Eddie. Want you here with me.”

“Okay,” he nodded, not wanting to push you and aggravate whatever was going on in your head. He just hoped you’d tell him sooner rather than later, “I’ll come right home after work, yeah? We can have a date night at home.”

“Okay,” blinking back the tears, you nodded before kissing his cheek, “please.”

“I’ll always come home to you,” he kissed you softly, letting his lips linger against yours, “I promise.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You hadn’t been able to focus on anything; your homework remained half finished and while you knew your professor would get on your case about it, you found yourself unable to care. Instead you focused your energy on cleaning your apartment from top to bottom, making sure everything was neat and spotless. Your mind was buzzing with worry about Eddie, hoping he was okay and wishing he was home with you.

You’d even called him when you knew he would normally take his lunch. Guilt ran through you as you realized you neglected to make his lunch. But hearing the sound of his voice, even if it was just a few minutes, gave you some relief.

As soon as he’d walked in the door, you were running to him, almost knocking him over as you jumped into his arms. He let out a huff of laughter as he held onto you, spinning you around for a moment before peppering your face in soft, feathery kisses. 

“I love you,” you whispered as you hugged him tightly, “I’m so glad you’re home.”

“Me too,” he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “let’s order some pizza and watch a movie, yeah? Pajamas, big blankets and all.”

“Okay,” you nodded at him, taking his hand and threading your fingers through his as you pulled him further into the safe sanctity of your little home.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were glued to his side from the moment he got home; not that he was complaining. He was just as touchy and affectionate with you, and had often worried if he was too clingy. Needless to say, he did not mind his girl being all over him. You’d both changed into pajamas and he ordered pizza while you flicked through the channels to find something to watch. As soon as he joined you on the couch, you were cuddled into him, protectively wrapping an arm around him and keeping him as close to you as possible. If it bothered him, he didn’t say a word and let you have your way with him.

The worst part of all was when it was getting later into the evening, you felt your eyes growing heavier and heavier. You didn’t want to fall asleep - you knew the nightmares would be back and you couldn’t handle another round of reliving the worst day of your life. Eddie frowned to himself when he saw you struggling to stay awake. Why wouldn't you just rest if you needed it?

“Angel, you can sleep,” he whispered softly, gently running his fingers through your hair, lightly scratching at your scalp. Normally it would have you mewling and burrowing into his touch, but today you had no visible reaction, “you can sleep on me, I don’t mind.”

“I’m fine, Eddie,” you huffed petulantly, refusing to look at him, but keeping your tight grip on him. His t-shirt was thin and aged; you could feel some of the scars on the chest. That was enough reason to remain vigilant.

He made a small sound in the back of his throat but didn’t push the issue further. Instead he focused on the movie that was playing, his hand absentmindedly stroking your back. The motion was soothing and you desperately wanted to give in to sleep. At some point late in the evening, Eddie had enough and turned off the TV.

“Alright,” he announced as he gently moved you off him, “it’s bedtime. We are going to bed, dollface. I can see you’re tired, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Eddie-”

“Nope,” he shook his head, wasting not a moment before picking you up bridal style and carrying you to the bedroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting to beg him to stop, but you knew he was tired too. If anything he deserved some rest, “we’re getting some rest. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.”

He laid on the bed, gently and reverently, making sure you were tucked under the warm blankets. He got in next to you, turning off the bedside table lamp, leaving only the soft glow of the night light you insisted on when he kept stubbing his toes on the way to the bathroom at night. It was the little things like that, always looking out for him, that spoke silent volumes about how deep your love ran. 

Eddie pulled you closer to his body, lying down next to you and keeping his eyes on you. Part of you wanted to say something, anything, but you found yourself unable to properly put everything you were thinking and feeling into words. Instead he took it upon himself, “I love you, so much. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” you whispered back, tracing your finger along his bottom lip, “I love you too.”

“I know,” he took your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles, “so will you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Rest,” he insisted, “relax. I’m right here.”

“Yeah,” you almost choked on the singular word, “okay.”

You closed your eyes for a bit, deciding it was the only way to get him to back off, even if for a little bit. Once he fell asleep, his breathing steady and even, you untangled yourself and sat up against the headboard, trying to focus on staying awake. You grabbed your book off your nightstand and attempted to read in the low lighting. Anything to keep your mind occupied. 

Unfortunately, this evening nothing was able to keep your mind busy. Your thoughts kept drifting back to your nightmare and to the real version of what happened that horrible night. You’d almost lost Eddie - you’d almost lost the love of your life. The idea that he had to suffer through so much made you want to cry all over again. You set down your book and looked at your boyfriend, trying to push down all the horrible thoughts that were popping up. Everything he had suffered through; you wished you could take it all away and make it so it was you that had suffered. 

A few tears ran down your cheeks as you tried to hold back your sniffles. But it was no use; soon enough you were crying. You were trying your best to keep it down, not to disturb him, but as soon as you tried to get out of bed to go into the bathroom, you felt his nimble fingers wrap around your wrist.

“Baby,” he was suddenly wide awake and looked distraught, “what’s wrong? What’s happened? Please tell me, let me make it better.”

“I’m sorry,” the tears were streaming down your cheeks as you shook your head, “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, don’t apologize,” he tugged gently on your arm as he tried to get back to him. After a moment you gave in and let him pull into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, letting you cry into his chest as he rubbed your back, “it’s okay, baby. It’s alright.”

“It’s not,” you looked at him, and he gently brushed away your tears, “I’m sorry.”

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” you shook your head but he gave you a pleading look, “you can tell me whatever, you know that.”

“I…” you trailed off for a moment, studying his pretty face, “I love you so much, Eddie. I…I had a nightmare last night. About you.”

“Me?” he raised an eyebrow as you nodded, “what happened?”

“It was about…you know,” you trailed your fingers gently over his chest, “that night.”

He didn’t need you to say anything further, knowing what you meant immediately. He shook his head, giving you a small smile, “oh baby. I’m sorry you had a nightmare…I wish it was me. But you don’t need to worry anymore, I’m right here, and I’m never leaving. You’re stuck with me for life.”

“Eddie.”

“I know it was horrible for all of us,” he whispered softly, “but we made it out. If we survived that, we can survive anything. But it’s all over, and we never have to worry about it again.”

“I feel so selfish,” you sighed softly, “you’re the one that went through it, and here I am, crying over a nightmare.”

“You’re not selfish,” he promised, “you’re one of the most selfless people I know. But if it happens again, wake me up next time, yeah? I don’t care what time, place, anything. You just wake me up. Promise?”

“Promise,” you agreed softly, hooking your pinky around his that he was holding out to you, “thank you. You…you are everything to me.”

“Is that why you’ve been so-”

“Clingy?”

“I wouldn’t say clingy,” he smiled softly, “I’d say affectionate. Oh, my sweet girl. I love you too.”

“Eddie?” you looked at him with big doe eyes and he softened further, “can you…can you just hold me tonight?”

“I’ll hold you every night for the rest of our lives,” he whispered, gently stroking your cheek, “including tonight. Will you try and get some rest for me?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded, I will. For you, I will, my love.”

“Good,” he whispered, “now just relax and breathe with me. I love you, angel.”

“I love you, Eddie.”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x you #st

[sleepingcup]

Answers lie within his feelings

Characters: Aesop Carl (Phoenix / Fenix) x Witch! Fem! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst (rare), Mentions of Death (rare), some spoilers from Sinful Phoenix

(I don’t own the picture, I apologize in advance if the story is confusing)

It was an average afternoon, you were walking in the forest looking for fresh wood to pick up for the next night. Upon discovering that you saw a bird that isn't a normal size of a bird, it is unconscious but you can't leave it alone. You picked it up not knowing what is going to happen next and bring the bird with you to a private cabin.

Treating his wounds and carefully wrapping them in long bandages, you can see that your hard work feels finished. The seemingly large bird is recovering which gives you much relief, it motivates you to check on the bird more often. It took a while to make food for the bird once it woke up, but you felt a presence that isn't a human.

"!!!"

You saw the bird you treated, it seems to be interested in the food that is a piece of bread yet it didn't look hostile. “Please be careful. You just woke up from your wounds.” You said to give it to the bird, although you are sure it won’t believe you the bird accepts either way. It was weird that you were expecting a negative reaction, but in reality, it’s not the case. 

The second you look away to prepare a cup of water, you hear an explosion from behind seeing that the bird was now a familiar human. His eyes are now a dark blue with golden edges. His hair is now blue, which gets lighter as it goes down. His chest area is covered by blue feathers, but his stomach is revealed, which shows that he has a six-pack. 

You were confused at the sight of the bird yet, what you can see was him munching on a piece of bread which it was oddly cute. Even tho, it is never the first time you saw that kind of spell before. You silently gave him a cup of water before preparing your next dish for dinner, ignoring the shocking discovery right in front of you since you already know who he is.

“Tell me, how was your wound. Fenix?”

Let’s be real here...

You are a witch and he is the Phoenix the village won’t shut up about.

You can tell that he is here for a reason, “Miss... My wound doesn’t matter at this point.” You and Phoenix knew each other for quite a while so it’s not the second time this happened. “Funny, that aside. How was the travel?” Fenix stopped eating at some point just to describe his experience.

"Hell? No, it's better than that... Aside from those people targeting me for food."

"Fair point. I would be having grudges about them, the disrespect."

You scoffed while Fenix pouted at you.

"Very funny."

Fenix picked up a slice of bread and takes a bite, you check on his body to see any visible wounds. But it seems that he did save you the hassle of stitching his wounds on his wings or body.

"You did improve from that travel... I am impressed."

Fenix swallowed the last piece of bread and chuckled at your comment, "Thank you. I worked hard on avoiding stitches, it saves you time." He said before sipping a cup of water, you made your tiny distance from him knowing that it is not the only thing he wanted to say.

"Witch... We will need to hide soon from them for around three days. It seems that they are on a hunt for me...and you..."

You paused and stared at him, at some point you can guess that there was a witness of you rescuing him many times. So it could be proven as bad news but then again you also had your history from that village.

"But we will need to hide in a different place... Will you be able to save your strength for that?"

That amused you.

"Hah. Don't underestimate me Fenix. I know my tricks."

You pin him to the desk as your eyes met with his, it made him chuckle at your sass at that point. He leaned closer just to attempt to give you a kiss but he was shy, "I-I..." He stammered but you can understand him, seeing the red blush forming on his face. But you are pretty sure that he never acted like this once.

"Yeah... I know."

You smiled and leaned forward to pet him on the head, "Now do me a favor and get some rest, you'll need it." He nodded in return before he watches you walking away from him, he looks down at his last piece of bread knowing what he did was very odd of him to do.

-----

It was strange for Fenix to have those types of feeling himself. 

He never acted like that towards her before, not only that he was pretty sure he would have gone hostile to her but he didn’t. It was out of character to him yet something about it made him feel happy? Like it was a similar experienced, but he is well aware that the moment can’t last forever.

She was the target of the village and he wanted to save her from that fate the same thing the village tried to kill him.

But at the same time, he has to avoid Experienced Huntsman and Moonblessed who are also after him, since the flames should have killed him but he is used to the flames. Eli can tell that he is dead but his body is not visible from the flames, all it remains left was the blue majestic feather.

But he immediately snaps out of it when he hears unfamiliar voices outside the houses, he reaches out to the window to listen. 

“Boss, we should capture the witch for the money!”

“How are we going to capture her??”

“Be quiet! She can hear you!!”

Oh, she didn’t hear them but Fenix, he was frustrated that it was going to happen once again. He knew that she can’t escape that fate but he wanted to make sure that she is safe, it frustrates him to know that the ambush is happening and yet he can’t run. 

“We should kidnap her from the first floor, you go check on the second floor.”

“Yes, boss.”

“Now go.”

He watched the people make their move, and he need to warn her but the boss was nearby.  Panic flows through his body and yet he wasted his energy to turn to Phoenix, the best option he could do was.....

-----

Watching from the crystal ball, you can tell what Fenix was trying to do since you are a powerful witch. Although you can handle this yourself, it was a surprise to you that he was trying his best to defend you. 

You watch how he was able to disguise himself as you in a cloak and capture the remaining kidnappers without saying a word, the next thing you watch him do was to erase their memories which you were not expecting him to do. But you can guess that he was doing his best to protect you, but you are sure that you can’t promise him that you can be alive.

However, you are pretty much aware of what is going to happen next as you can feel a sword from behind. You are just waiting for the right timing, but sadly that isn’t today. Seeing that it was more than just simple protection, you can tell that Fenix was nearby just to attack that person from behind.

“GAH!!”

You can see that the assassin was knocked to the ground cause of Fenix’s presence, “Nice instinct.” You say as he nodded before tieing that person up, “Take them outside the place, vampire these days love to look for vulnerable tied people.” You said darkly and Fenix followed without hesitation, he would be offended but you and Fenix had enough of those types of people but you know his backstory and he knows yours.

“I instead erase their memories instead, I’m sorry for disobeying...”

But then again he has a heart of gold, even if he never realizes it. That alone makes you happy to know that he isn’t dark nature like you.

“Don’t worry, you are the opposite of me. At least you understand morality than me.” You said before patting Fenix on the head, “Fenix, you need to understand that I will die one day. You can’t just continue to protect me more often.”

“B-But..-”

“It’s my fate Fenix, to them witches are the villains. It can’t be helped.”

Fenix's eyes were full of disbelief and sorrow, “B...But...”

You can tell that you were close to him and he was to you, seeing tears fall from his eyes. “You never told me that...you just wanted to die so simply easy!” He blurted out before hugging you, “We were not too close, but...I simply hate it when I am reminded of the same thing Oracle had reminded me. It makes no sense!”

Looking at Fenix who pulled away, “You are just like me....but you hated them, aren’t you? Instead of you killing them, you just avoided them...” Your hand reaches out just to wipe his tears, he was trembling even if he doesn't want to admit it himself. 

“Funny...isn’t it. I went out of character just to care for your safety...”

“...”

Then again, you don’t have the heart to have the advantage of him and his feelings in the first place. 

“Don’t worry, you are trying to protect me. I should be saying sorry for making you worry.”

You smiled as he looked directly into your eyes, “We should be moving this place somewhere, (y/n). I also have other people to avoid...” You can understand his reasoning yet you can tell that your fate was just sealed, but you can tell that that something inside of you also agrees with him.

“(y/n).... Are you....”

Fenix’s voice snap you out of your trance just to see that he was closer to you, but you swore you felt lips being touched for a second. His eyes seem enamored by your flushed face, even if it took you a second to realize...

You were spacing out when Fenix was kissing you for a second. 

“Silly bird....”

You gently give his hand a kiss, “You need to make me aware of your kisses next time.” That made him chuckle before he kisses you again, it felt like you wanted more of his gentle kisses and yet you need to focus on what was in front...then again you can just focus on more than one.

The second he lets go, you smiled at him for a bride second before casting a spell, “That’s what I wanted to say, that's all. Phoenix.” You said but you decided to create a massive barrier surrounding the two of you, “It means we also have to avoid interacting with the village to give it extra protection. Are you sure about this decision?” Fenix nod, “I am no longer needed by him and the village, it would be nice to roam freely.” 

“Then allow me to cause chaos for a while to warn them~”

-----

You did cause chaos by creating a curse but a simple harmless curse that will warn them not to bother you and Fenix.

Although your spell never fails you since you are in a different place with Fenix, since then you are counting the days of your death. However, Fenix was your death mark.

It was confusing at first but when you realize that he wanted to take your life with him for when the day comes, it is something that you're looking forward to. However, you are also looking forward to trying to change your fate with the love he is giving you.

The best you can do for him in return was give him the love he also deserves.

After all, he did manage to steal your heart in the first place, even if it never makes sense. Aside from the kisses he keeps on giving you more often.

As of now, you can see Fenix giving you kisses on the cheek. Which makes you feel a bit flustered before giving kisses back to him. You can also hear what he wanted to say...which will remind you that he is your death count.

“I will make sure that our death will be lovely one day.”

He needs to say words that aren’t scary next time...

#idv x reader #aesop carl #aesop carl x reader #idv embalmer

[fae-fucker]

Breaking Time: Part 3

Chapter 11: Callum

The scream for help rang off the walls. Callum looked up again at Aion, but the man had vanished.

Strength will come on swift wings.

Callum had always believed the words when Thomas spoke them. They won him countless fights, allowed him another strike when his body burned and only defeat seemed possible. But when he needed it to be true—like when his friend lay dying in front of him—it had proven false. Or rather, strength had come, but not enough.

What’s Sasha’s/Shinsay’s fascination with establishing some weird creed or epic quote, saying it’s always been something the character believes, and then going “um except this time and these other times it didn’t work.”

Also, what does that even mean. What does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Does it add anything? Not really. I looked it up, and this is the only time this quote is used in the whole book. Remove. Sasha, hire me as your editor. I don’t have formal experience or education but I have eyes and a willingness to hurt your feelings.

Callum finds some old tiny door in the room, except it’s barred and he needs to pry it open.

He looked back up at the torch sconce. Though old with age, it could possibly be of help to him.

Old. With ... age. Aight. Feel like there could’ve been a better way to describe that.

Anyway, he manages to get it open, goes through it and finds Klara being attacked by the monster. They have a little fight. The monster sort of throws them around without really doing anything actually threatening. Callum rips his shirt off in order to grab a shard of rock (??) to stab with, because of course. He defeats it while Klara is mostly unconscious, because of course, and then the monster’s remains disappear mysteriously.

Chapter 12: Klara

Did I ever tell you guys that Callum has heterochromia? No? I forgor. Well, he does, and Klara keeps describing his eyes as “mismatched” and I keep going “Wait what? Why?”

There’s some really ill-timed yet predictable shit where Klara is all discombobulated but still present enough to be really horny for Callum when they have the usual accidental touch. Idk man, something about tropes I enjoy being done badly really fiddles my sticks.

They find just ... a random hole? And climb through it? And then there’s a scene cut and suddenly they’re outside on the streets again. Convenient!

Klara leads Callum to her grandma’s house, because Grandma is all mystical and shit.

Callum tells her how he found her through the tunnel in the apothecary and what he was doing there in the first place, and says that he’d like to go back to ask Aion a few questions.

Klara cut him off with a glance. “Let’s skip that stuff for now and get somewhere safe. After that beast, we don’t know what else is waiting to kill us.”

I’m not gonna say this is wrong, per se, but you’d think she’d say something like “Let’s get ourselves cleaned up first” or “Let’s talk to my grandma first so we’re more prepared and have better questions to ask Aion” or even “Can we please take a break and a snack, we nearly just died.” She says “Let’s skip that stuff.” As if “that stuff” isn’t ... this stuff? Like, it’s inherently tied to the main issue you’re dealing with right now, it IS the main issue. The way this is phrased just makes her seem really dismissive and rude, and it reads more like the author coming up with a bad reason to keep the clealry more interesting stuff for later when it logically doesn’t make a lot of sense to do so.

I’m sorry I keep harping on incidental phrasing, but words and sentences make up the book, that’s how books work. Making choices about phrasing and what words to use is important. “Let’s skip that stuff” just tells me, the reader, that either Klara is a huge dismissive bitch, or Callum’s previous chapters didn’t fucking matter.

Callum gets startled by a plane and it’s painfully unfunny. They get to Gram’s house and she’s a mystical cool grandma who’s tough as nails but has a heart of gold, as per usual. Bonus points for being bisexual I spose. Klara and Callum take showers. Klara has a little stress cry.

She decides to try to keep her grandma safe by saying she and Callum watched some documentary on mysticism and need some advice. Then Callum comes in wearing 70′s clothes that used to belong to Gram’s last ex before her current wife. It’s still painfully unfunny.

Grams gives them a little lecture on stuff we honestly mostly knew already. Mystic centers being portals and shit. Then we get an infodump on Arianrhod, the Welsh goddess, and Grams then translates the pics Klara took of the mystical book, which confirms that she is a Pillar of Time, and they’re all associated with Arianrhod.

Grams gets all sad about all the trials and tribulations Klara will have to face, and asks Callum to give them a moment in private. Once he’s gone, Grams tells Klara that “[Callum] may not know much, but he can guide you -- and maybe your heart -- in the right direction.” Which, I dunno, for someone who claims not to know shit, you do seem to be very sure about this part. Do appreciate the dunk on Callum, though.

Klara’s all “why me!!” and Grams is all “ur special uwu” and then the chapter ends.

Chapter 13: Callum

Callum finds photographs of Klara’s mother and honestly, you can guess how the scene goes beat for beat. You’re smart like that, I respect your vast knowledge of book clichés and huge meat. 

Callum: Owo what be this! Such excellent lifelike portraits the likes of which I hath never seen beforeth!

Klara: Lmao you poor little meow meow! These are photoed graphs! Don’t ask me how this family vlog freezeframes are made, I went to school to study the SJM lights in the sky, not to Steve Jobs academy for iPhone warehouse work.

Callum: Pray, whyst was thine mother plagued by evil spirits?

Klara: Well you see, she had ADHD before it was invented by TikTok, and because she couldn’t post back in the day, she was called sussy despite never venting. But that only made her girlboss harder, so when I got dunked on with dyslexia, I could gaslight and gatekeep with her support!

Callum: Yourst mother must haveth been the most holy of all women, pray? Such strength and power is truly remarkablest and could only come from the light of God!

Klara: Oh she served cunt for sure, easily the most pogchamp boss babe to ever upvote on that grindset.

Okay I’m being mean. This is what actually happens.

[...] “What were her troubles?”

“She had undiagnosed ADHD—a disorder that means she learns in a different way from most people. I’m dyslexic, which is different, but also means I learn differently from others,” Klara explained. “At that time, not much was known about it. So instead of helping, her classmates all called her stupid, which only made her try harder.”

Callum’s heart tweaked. He had no education himself, but he knew how cruel children could be. “She sounds like an incredible woman.”

“She was. That’s why she wanted me to go to college so badly—to feel that purpose to succeed even when hurdles were stacked in front of me. She told me to leap past them.”

And here’s why I have a problem with it.

I think, or rather, assume, that this is based on Sasha’s own life? I don’t know, but that’s how it reads. And while I do genuinely admire anyone who’s willing to be vulnerable in their art and putting it out there, this just isn’t ... how people talk? It reads like something out of an awareness pamphlet. I think it’s important to put parts of yourself in your art, to be genuine, but you still have to do it purposefully. We think a 13-year-old with an edgelord wolf OC is cute and fun and an important step in their creative and emotional development, but we don’t put that shit in museums. Instead of having this actually matter or impact Klara in any way, it reads like “ADHD is a learning disorder, but people are mean ignorant bullies about it, and actually people who have it are so brave and strong and, in this case, tragic victims who perservered through it all and rose above it!”

Like. We know this already. People who will read this book will already be aware of what ADHD is, the stigma around it, and how people treat those who have it. Statistically, a significant part of the book’s audience might even have it themselves. This is just empty air for the author to use to send a pretty banal message, not two characters actually speaking to each other. You know what I mean?

You could still have this conversation happen and make it sweet and poignant at the same time, without it sounding like a teen girl monologue in a Netflix original.

Also it kind of sends the harmful message that if you have learning disorders, all you have to do to be appreciated and to “win” over your tormentors is to be better than everyone else and to excel in a system that isn’t made for you and is likely a big reason behind your difficulties. That, you know, you just have to be better in school while having a disorder that makes it hard to be good in school, by definition. But what do I know. I’m just a silly little guy.

Anyway, Klara and Callum sit down to do some detective work, and by that I mean they once again go over information that I feel has been repeated multiple times already. Thomas was drawing mystic centers, he visited them, Klara and him are both connected to Arianrhod who has dominion over time yadda yadda. Klara figures that in order to leap between worlds, like Thomas said, one needs a lot of energy, which is what she felt that time in the forest when she blasted the evil man. Based on the fact that Thomas was a weak bitch and took down guys in the ring using his wits, they somehow conclude that Thomas was looking for his enemy’s weakness at those mystic centers, and that their next step should be to go to one themselves and ... do something, idk.

I love how their little connect-the-dots session consists of them recapping everything the reader has probably already figured out thanks to the repeated info dumps, then concludes with them pulling an entirely new plot point outta their asses based on one thing Callum says about Thomas.

This plot is less an intricately woven spiderweb and more a plate of spaghetti.

Klara calls her dad and comes up an excuse for why she needs to leave. Then Grams urges her out of the house, but not before letting them take her car and GASP! Giving Klara a family heirloom SWORD! Wooow, so cool! Soon, Klara will truly become the girlboss of our dreams! And not only that, but it’s a magical sword, that “knows” Klara!

“You said it knows her...?” Callum couldn’t take his eyes off the beautiful weapon. The blade was as long as Klara’s arm, the hilt formed like a Scottish thistle. Spiny leaves twined its way up the cross guard, which flowed into a handle made of twisting stems that bloomed into an amethyst-studded pommel in the shape of the prickly flower. Though it was a prickly flower, the handle looked comfortable, smooth even just enough for a hand to fit comfortably around it. Excitement welled in him at the sight of such a finely made weapon. He could not tear his eyes away from the gorgeous blade.”

Yes, those stray quotes are in there, and yes, he really really can’t take his eyes off the beautiful weapon/gorgeous blade, you guys.

Chapter 14: Klara

They travel at night to another mystic center and of course stop at a big fancy castle.

Klara liked to think that in Scotland, people wouldn’t have balked at a young woman carrying a sword.

Yeah, because Scottish people are, like, badass medieval warrior people, like in Braveheart! Not just ... normal guys. Who at most will think you’re an out-of-costume LARPer and give you a mild curious glance. Aren’t you from New York? Aren’t you used to ignoring people doing even weirder shit? Why this weird Scottish fetishism? Oh sorry, forgot which book I was reading.

ALSO IT’S FUCKING BUMFUCK O’CLOCK BEFORE SUNRISE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. I get you’re the literal main character and all but Jesus.

And just when I thought Klara was done being fucking annoying, we get ... whatever the fuck this is:

Callum strode ahead of her and whirled around, walking backward to speak to her. “Do ye ken how to wield a sword, lass?”

The flirty, musical lilt to his voice made the butterflies in her stomach stir, but she knew it was only an act—the tension plain on his face revealed the truth of what was lying underneath. Fear. Danger. But if she thought of what actually might lie in store for them when they reached the mystic center they were heading to—another scaled beast, the flash of fangs, or worse, the man who’d tried to kill her, or even worse , some unknown threat—she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep going.

“If you can travel through time, I can figure out how to use a sword,” she said. “Have you ever heard of mansplaining , Callum? Maybe you can take the concept back to your time and spread the word. It would spare womankind a lot of trouble.”

This is what true feminism looks like, ladies. Pack it up, Sasha’s got it figured out.

I don’t think she wrote this to make feminists look bad, but it certainly seems like it, doesn’t it?

Klara and Callum let out some therapeutic screams, then Callum starts making a fire.

He clashed two stones together. A spark jumped out and into the sticks. Within seconds, the fire was blazing.

He clashed two ... just, stones? Just two rocks together? And it produced a spark? And it took him mere seconds to make it blaze? My man’s more magic than Klara herself. I’m surprised her Scientific Mind doesn’t question this at all.

They sit down to talk. Callum notices Klara’s bruises.

Klara caught her reflection in her phone camera: under the flickering firelight, she looked like death incarnate. Everything looked worse on pale skin. Veins, bruises, pimples. And that’s not even taking sunburn into account.

Yeah man. When will people finally realize that white people are the real victims? Especially pretty, skinny ginger girls. They just can’t catch a break :(

Klara challenges Callum to teach her to use a sword. Hey, remember the way she swept his feet out from under him in the beginning of the book, flawlessly and casually? Well, here’s Sasha explaining why it was totally random and not at all Klara’s usual MO, because she doesn’t know how to do anything at all, so Callum can swoop in and have a sexy training scene!

She had a handful of talents. Crashing essays at the last minute. Executing a decent cat-eye. Making a perfectly bitter cup of iced coffee. Fighting was not one of them.

Growing up in New York, it was a rite of passage to learn how to defend yourself from a bag thief, or worse. Unfortunately, aside from knowing not to tuck her thumb in her clenched fist when throwing a punch, the self-defense class she and her mom had taken together at the Y was a hazy memory. She had been just surprised as Callum was when she knocked him down in the grove days earlier.

Ain’t that convenient! And yeah, she really was surprised back then, wasn’t she? With the way she was gloating and telling him how unfeminist he was being? She’s just funky like that.

They train for hours and it’s predictably horny. It’s whatever. Probably the least awful thing in a while tbh, because it reads bland in a way that makes it untouched by Sasha’s particular brand of originality.

We get the usual thing of Callum being impressed with Klara and saying he can tell she’s a fighter, because of course. Then we get the obligatory bit where she straddles him and holds the “blade” (stick) to his throat, because of course. What’s funny about this is that their movements in the scene are so inconsistently written that she straddles him, and then they continue talking and doing other shit and other movements, but it never says she gets off him? So it’s really funny to imagine what the fuck is supposed to be happening.

There’s also this:

Klara removed the stick from his throat, heart pounding in her throat.

Brilliant.

Anyway, they’re having a conversation about how Klara makes Callum feel “free” or whatever, when they get interrupted by something coming out of the fairy circle mystic center thing.

Chapter 15: Callum

Ohmigoddess, it’s Arianrhod herself! She’s very hornily described as having perfect pale skin and wonderful blonde hair and nice curves, because Sasha grew up on SJM and can’t imagine powerful women who aren’t fuckable. The text does unfortunately describe her eyes to be above her lips, which, while technically true, conjures up very interesting images in my mind.

Arianrhod is deeply uninteresting and uninspired, saying some mystical nonsense about how humans don’t see the world as gods do, which, duh, but ok.

If the woman in front of [Callum] were human, she would have blinked. But she only continued to appraise him as she spoke, her honey eyes aglow—the night sky aflame, encircled in two sockets.

Ah yes, the night sky, which is ... brown and sometimes transluscent but other times opaque and sort of grainy? And it’s aflame. The ... For ...

I dunno, man. Sasha’s just on a different level. She’s on that word association shit.

Arianrhod does at least explain that the man who attacked Thomas was after his blood, which is very special and precious, because it can control time or some shit. She explains that Thomas (and by association, Klara) was “chosen” by Arianrhod, and that she split up her powers and gave them to ten people across time, who became the Pillars of Time. She did this because other gods were jealous and kept beefing with her, so she gave her powers away to humans who couldn’t be touched by the gods because they were in a different realm. Not sure how she touched those humans, but maybe that will be explained later. Along with how Klara found that book that had these supposedly secret Pillars of Time written down, and who wrote it. I honestly thought it was a sort of family tree, but apparently it’s not, and since only Arianrhod knows who all the Pillars are, who wrote it? One of the other Pillars? A different god? Guess we’ll find out.

Anyway, the Pillars of Time had Arianrhod’s magic in their blood, but it was dormant and they essentially couldn’t use it. Eventually, the magic would pass into the earth itself. I guess ... when they died? It’s really weird and vague.

She tells them that the Bad Guy has been killing Pillars using ancient weapons from the gods in order to harness the power in their blood, which makes him more and more godlike with each Pillar he shanks.

She then explains that he’s not human, and that he was born with some sort of aberration in him which ended up consuming him, then finally reveals that his name is Llaw, and he is her son. He wants to become a god and live among them, which he can do by harnessing his mom’s powers and ... breaking the barriers between the worlds? Or enhancing the barriers between worlds? Arianrhod says that the gods all live in different realms that barely and rarely connect, and this is good and normal, but Llaw would change that by going into the Otherworld with his impure powers, which would affect both the human world and the Otherworld, but also the different realms of the gods?

She says that if he succeeds, then he would break time (title drop!), which would collapse reality in on itself. But she also says that she won’t really be affected by this. So are gods in their own separate realms, but also there’s an Otherworld on top of the regular human world, and Llaw is trying to collapse the line between the Otherworld and human world? But if Klara survives past Samhain then Arianrhod’s powers can be restored, somehow? That’s not expanded upon.

Klara gets her next quest marker after Arianrhod tells her she must deepen the connection with what’s inside her by going to the mystic centers and “unlock her powers” with each one.  

The question went unanswered, because with a tilt of the goddess’s chin, a tendril of mist rose and encircled Klara’s head. Her mouth parted slightly. She touched her ear. As she did, the mist lost its form and came at her like a wave.

She flew back, hair whipping around her before landing on her back staring up at the sky.

Head spinning, she loosened a long groan.

Taking a deep breath, she picked herself up just as Callum reached her. “I’m fine,” she said, warding him away with her hand.

Sasha keeps forgetting whose POV she’s in and also being unable to write any sort of coherent physical actions. What else is new?

#eff reads: breaking time

[exploring8709]

Swiping through Tinder tonight, I started wondering if I'm REALLY ready to be out there. I guess this was the point of leaving The Ex (and The Twit for that matter). It's been a year and a bit since, though, and I don't have much to show for this newfound freedom.

It wasn't more commitment that I was looking for. The Ex and I had commitment down to a T. Planning a wedding (and a future) together will pretty much hit that nail on the head. I just felt like I was getting consumed by momentum. Everything felt like I was auto-pilot, ignoring my own yearning to break free and discover more of myself.

And now, commitment is the LAST thing that I'm looking for, as The Twit has proven. The same thing, just a different face, still leaves me triggered.

So I don't think I want to get married (yet), but am I really ready to explore something more . . . casual? The thought excites me as my "experience level" feels lacking for a girl my age. Thinking about my body count, I guess each experience can be thought of as progress, but the distance traveled does not feel rich enough, vivid enough. I've learned something from each of them, but like the related relationship, it was time to move on.

Josh

I lost my virginity to Josh. He was a pretty soccer player that said all of the right things to get me into his bed. He had obviously done this before. It was painful. It was awkward. I cried when it was happening because I was so scared I would do it wrong and he would dump me. It was in his room. I still remember focusing on the Tie Domi poster on his wall as he pushed himself into me. It was hot under his duvet and we were both sweaty. I thought we were in love until 2 weeks later we weren't. It was something I needed to get out of the way, but I was lost for a bit afterwards, feeling a bit used and ashamed.

The Ex

Sex with The Ex was exciting at the outset. We were seniors in high school. And I was in love, for real this time. I'm not going to deny it. We were in love. But High School me was a very different girl from today me. Him being more experienced than me, again made me feel special. Complete. And he was so different from Josh. More of a real person. More of a real relationship. It was like he was walking me through a beautiful garden for the first time, showing me all the things I ever needed to know. He showed me all the positions he knew, and I was wonderstruck. His was the first cock I sucked. The first one I jacked off. I was an eager learner . . . so wanting to please. So hungry to find ways to please him. It was a revelation. But we reached the limit of his knowledge as the years wore on. Our lovemaking, like our relationship, never evolved even as I did. What was once super exotic as a young adult, quickly became rote and obligatory. Like our relationship, sadly.

The Twit

Unfortunately, the story doesn't get any better from here. Although the prize is dubious, The Twit was the only other person I've slept with since high school. It feels so ridiculous typing this. The first after having passed through my lowest point after calling the wedding off. If you don't count Josh, as honestly, that one didn't count, The Twit's was only the second penis I've ever touched. Had in my mouth. Had INSIDE me. It was more of the same. I won't go low and make any size comparisons. He was fine, just the same, which was bad. I long to try something different. Bigger. Smaller. Girthier. Fuck, what does it mean, that as I'm trying to summarize my time with The Twit, I can only think of other cocks I haven't tried? The Twit was more handsy and grabby . . . more aggressive than The Ex, but pretty much of the same ilk. I don't think either of them met an orgasm of their own they didn't like.

That's it. I've slept with three boys in my life. I'm not bothered by this number. If I was stronger, it might have just ended at The Ex. But, if I'm not ready to be married, then what am I ready for? I've never been the chaotic spirit type, although I've always wondered what that would be like.

I'm sure there's more to discover out there, but am I ready to? I must be ovulating because I've been thinking about what it would be like to sleep with different men, but I don't have the energy or the emotional need to try and create something special with each and everyone one of them. I feel like I know what I want in a partner, but I don't yet know what I want in a PARTNER. A sexual partner. A lover. I've spent so much time with boys that I've, for lack of a better term, outgrown, that I've created a gap in my experience that I'm yearning to fill. I've been yearning for physicality.

I remember Amanda quoting this to me:

" I was not a good woman. I had too many other things to do. "

Too many other things to do.

Tinder, what treasures will you yield to me?

#diary #dear diary #confessions #singleinthecity #singlegirl #MBAlife #dayinthelife

[randomposter1980]

Bullet Points of Your Bullshit

Dear DaddyBitchTits and DirtyLittleBookWhale,

It seems as though your little attempt to “spill the tea” has come to a screeching halt. It doesn’t look like you two quite got the responses you were looking for. And I’m sure you weren’t counting on some random shitposter showing up to toss a wrench into things. Yet, here we are. I noticed the two of you have blocked me, probably better to do that than actually answer the valid questions I bring up. (Unlike you, I have no interest in creating other accounts to “check up” on those who’ve blocked me.) But because you did block me, it allows me to point out to the entire world these important points that need to be understood in order to truly realize the bullshit the two of you are trying to pass off without having to deal with you two. Here is a list of several of the ways your story simply falls appart:

Getting kicked off a platform for violating their rules automatically removes your legitimacy. And when asked about it, the only answer you two could provide was, “The other guy did it, too.” Not good enough. You can’t expect people to take you seriously about calling out someone’s bad behavior while being completely unapologetic about engaging in the same bad behavior.

Attacking anyone who asked a question. If your story was valid and your reasons for sharing were as you said, being forthwith with simple answers would have been no problem for you. Going on the defensive instantly sends up all sorts of red flags. Sunlight is the best disinfectant, if you have nothing to hide, why are you avoiding answering questions?

Having unreasonable expectations. Demanding the other party to agree to never do something is completely unreasonable. To do so is to effectively allow themselves to be monitored by you (or agents acting on your behalf) for life. Thus effectively making them hostages to your demands. Asking someone to give up their agency to satisfy your needs is totally unrealistic. Furthermore, to attach consequences to them not meeting your demands ( e.g. agree to this or we’ll do that) is nothing more than extortion. Again, if your quest was to inform others of your experiences, you should have stuck with that. Adding demands, turns this into an act of revenge.

Failing to give clear, concise descriptions of what exactly this person did that was so egregious. You use all these words: Violated Lied, Manipulated, etc. But not once did either of you describe how exactly they violated you, what exactly they lied about, or how exactly they manipulated you. Absent any clear explanation of what exactly was done, everything you have shared is nothing more than conjecture.

Flip flopping your story. One minute you claim to have evidence about the identity of people, then, without any reasonable explanation, the exact same information proves they are someone else entirely. This, again, removes any credibility you may have had. Once the information is proven to be suspect in one area, it can’t be trusted to be reliable in another. You can’t honestly expect anyone to believe the, “My IP address data proves you are M / My IP address data now proves you are T” story, can you?

Providing false or misleading information. Information was provided to you disproving your allegations. Rather than take them into consideration, you continued to charge forward. Providing even more false information along the way. Then, in an effort to regain credibility, you post grossly misleading information. IP addresses are accurate to the general vicinity. Unless you have a court order, or are the NSA an IP will get you within a few zip codes of where the user is. For example, my IP states my location as Greenwood Village, CO. Umm, not quite. Greenwood is a couple of towns over, but without a court order, it’s as good as you’ll get. You posted a map that was maybe 4 miles by 2 miles claiming you had that location via IP address. No. Fucking. Way. Furthermore, you provided nothing that tied a specific user to that IP address. You have absolutely no idea whose IP is whose and where exactly those IP’s hail from.

Bullying, intimidating, and outing. Scattered throughout the various posts and comments are all sorts of veiled threats as well as mentioning of personal information. All of this is used to try to strong-arm people into yielding to your will. Again, you can’t make claims about others, while engaging in the exact same behavior yourselves. In fact, your behavior is even worse. The only person who has consistently addressed people using first names is you. Considering neither of you have provided your names, the only reason to use someone’s proper name (while retaining your own anonymity) is in an attempt to intimidate. Why would you need to intimidate anyone if your motivation was purely to get your story out?

There are other reasons the two of you are full of shit. Why this is all one big attempt at seeking revenge. Anyone willing to go through the posts and comments will easily see the patterns the two of you have followed. And, knowing how the two of you behave, any response to my observations will be met either by comments made behind accounts that have me blocked, or by outward attacks. You two didn’t come here looking to tell your story, you didn’t come here looking for dialog, you came looking for a fight. Funny thing is, you never got to have that fight, but you still lost.

@daddybiff

@dirtylittlebookworm 

#The story of T #story of t

[5dayfreetrivechallenge07]

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#tonyrobbinsthrive

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Top 10 unpopular opinions that you think are correct?

10. The problem with religion isn't religion per se. It's the power and privilege it gives to religious people.

9. There's no such thing as "the" "natural language" – we just don't know what most of what goes on in the mind during speech is.

8. The idea that people will have to do work to get stuff done to their liking is a lot of what keeps people in school and in the rat race. (This is, unfortunately, more or less true for many "nonwork" things, too, such as college, or playing video games, or hanging out with friends on weekends, and so forth.) I know there's a tendency for people to call this a "work ethic," which is annoying but not really inaccurate, but I'm talking about something more fundamental here. In a perfect universe, the whole point of education would be learning how to learn things and do things, and people would be able to do stuff they actually wanted to do, and everyone would be able to relax and be happy. But we have a society that doesn't really allow for that, and therefore we've got all these ridiculous barriers and "work" and "study" and "prepare for life" and so forth, because people think they have to do these things just to get stuff done, when in fact, the real cost to them is very high. (The idea of "the student loan crisis" is another example of this phenomenon.)

7. We shouldn't have a political or legal system in which everyone is equal before the law. It's just inherently stupid. This has been proven over and over again throughout history, both in the literal sense of "the laws were violated" and in the sense of "all these people were very smart and could do things they weren't supposed to do." We would be better off if everyone was on an equal legal plane, in a world that could easily make it work. We don't have that world, and we need to make it happen. And I mean it. I don't like saying this; it feels a bit "inconvenient" – for some reason, I still feel like I don't get it (despite the fact that I've been saying and writing about this for quite some time now, it still bothers me when I say it). But this is just the facts.

6. The world would be a much nicer place if it had less competition. If there were more ways for people to just say "no," and if there were less ways for people to say "yes" – to make things into a battlefield of resource-grabbing, or status competitions, or whatever – then a lot of problems would go away. But we don't actually live in that world. The more I think about it, the more I realize there's only one way for this to end, and so we need to do something about it now.

5. People who seem to be more "woke" or more "cultured" than I am – people who seem more "sophisticated" or who "get things" or "understand politics" and so forth – generally turn out to be kind of full of it. I don't mean this in a derogatory way; it's just true, and it's bad. And it's the case for all of these traits. I know that there are some ways to mitigate this problem, but we just haven't figured out how to do this yet (and I'd say that a lot of "sophisticated" people haven't figured out how to do it). The alternative is for everybody to accept the idea that, as with any trait that's seen as positive, we have to be on guard against people who act "inappropriately" or "like a cartoon character" when we encounter them.

4. If your primary purpose in life is to get stuff done, you will always be bored. Or, perhaps, more accurately, you will never have a break. You will have to do "work" at every moment, all the time, no matter what. If you need to have a break to get started, you're doing it wrong. (This is, unfortunately, something I've had to learn the hard way. I'm also not saying this is a thing everyone should have to experience. Everyone seems to have to at some point. But I am saying that if you don't have the experience, you're probably not doing it right.)

3. Human beings aren't very good at working together, and they're not very good at it any time they've been forced to work together in large numbers. It's hard to do a thing, and then someone else comes along who's even worse at it, and everyone starts doing the thing even worse, and eventually the thing stops working and nobody knows why, and then you have to figure out why you were doing the thing in the first place. And no matter how hard you might be trying, it's hard to work with a group of people who are better at the thing than you are. (See also: 1, 2, 4.)

2. It is very difficult for people to actually tell the truth about what they're doing, especially in a group environment – it takes a lot of "practice" and social skills, and it is not a good idea to expect people to just be completely honest about their motivations. Even good people can be terrible at it, and there are really easy ways to fool others, which makes it a very hard thing to do. (See also: 1, 3, 5.)

1. Everyone wants to be good at stuff, and people who don't want to be good at stuff – people who are bad at stuff, and won't or can't do stuff – are annoying and should go away. There's only so much room in the world for people who are really bad at stuff. (See also: 1, 2, 4, 5.)

#clouds-of-wings

[blufox234isadumbname]

Why does no one ever talk about the abuse C!Tommy did to Dream? Tommy ruined everything C!Dream worked for when he first entered the world. He found it funny to break the rules and to drive C!Dream down a dark path. And then he hated it when c!Dream finally did something back. C!Tommy also murdered Dream twice. With every intention to kill him the third and final time… c!Dream isn’t perfect but c!Tommy practically caused his downfall but it doesn’t get talked about.

ok imma just- roll up my c!tommy apologist sleeves *ahem*

here's my response to this:

(All mention of members of the Dream SMP are characters, not the actual content creators behind them unless stated otherwise with the cc! tag, this is all within Minecraft roleplay and not reflective of the actual people

This also mentions the Exile Arc, which has themes of suicide and abusive relationships. If the subject is of discomfort, please scroll away)

I'm assuming that the first part is in reference to the early stages of the Dream SMP era, like in the same-ish month-long period when cc!Tommy joined (and officially when Tommy emerged to be a part of the slowly forming story at that point). This era of the Dream SMP is a little hard to gauge in terms of morals since the distinction of what's canon and non-canon just don't exist. At this point, it was before fully fleshed out characters were introduced, just the CCs as themselves messing around in a Minecraft server. Hence, a lot of the aspects, such as violence and psychological effects, of current DSMP lore aren't seen in the same serious regard during this era. It is still a part of lore but it's not to be really seen as "serious" - not unimportant but not exactly the most grounded in logic. Though, the word "abuse" is incredibly harsh to describe the early stages of the Dream SMP. It just implies Tommy deliberately causing trouble out of pure malice. The things that Tommy was at fault for don't refelct that kind of intention, most were the result of the first Disc War - which was instigated by Dream stealing the discs first. Other things were harmless pranks, not really meant to break someone's psyche. There was the conflict that occurred reflect the burning of Ponk's lemon tree but again no actual mind-breaking stuff happened on either Dream's end, just annoyance

Later on in the L'manburg era, again no sort of malice is shown. Dream was the one insistent on starting a war over L'Manburg's independence, Tommy has just pulled along and stood with Wilbur during the confrontations. The most consistent thing in the early eras of Dream SMP lore and early L'manburg is that Dream is seen to be the bad guy, though not as the malevolent force in more recent Dream SMP lore. He was more like a bully if anything, starting conflict to get what he needs and keep things under his control. Post-War and such had Dream be less of a threat and more of that one begrudging chaperone that hates a certain group of kids, also known as the L'manburgians. Dream was more cartoon villain than the careless monster he is presented during the more recent storylines.

So to say Tommy to be the reason for Dream's turn into a genuine and serious threat is false. If anything, Dream's own downfall through the storyline was mostly his own doing rather than someone else's. Again, the Disc War was started by Dream himself stealing the discs and holding them as leverage and the war for L'manburg's independence was caused by Dream's own insistence otherwise. No other force beckoned him to do so, just his own want to control the happenings on the SMP. Around Manburg's and Pogtopia's formation, Dream was acting out of interest of the SMP that he has power over, which included siding for the act of chaos and subsequent power that comes from it. Again, all out of his own volition, not a single person convinced him to not chase the promise of control. He could've just declined the Revival Book from Schlatt yet he accepted the bribe anyway. Same with letting Wilbur having the TNT and dethroning Eret.

It's already established during Tommy's Exile arc that Dream was already becoming a vile person, pushing away any close alliance aside from hiring Punz - even then, it was only a business relationship rather than one forged in close bond. All the things that led to Dream's descent into a more immoral person were his own choice. That included deliberately secluding and messing with Tommy during his exile. The entire arc was about the growing abusive relationship with Dream as the manipulator and Tommy as the victim. From destroying any armour and items Tommy had in order to prevent any way for retaliation, feigning friendliness to gain Tommy's trust and cutting off Tommy from any other source of support, Dream made the entirety of Exile a traumatic experience filled with conflicting feelings and depression. Even near the beginning, with the scene of Tommy looking down at lava in the Nether, Tommy already showed signs of decline in mental health. That was only further proven by the scene where Tommy attempted to jump off the dirt pillar.

Tommy had gone through hell yet managed to pull through, realised what he had experienced was abuse and headed off towards Technoblade's home in search of a better place of shelter. His leave from exile was healthy but doesn't diminish the sense of anger he had towards Dream. Even when his stance on Dream at the time was conflicting, still regressing back to the same belief Dream was his friend, he still held a hatred for Dream. That was further strengthened when he was able to overcome fears that stemmed from Exile, such as heights and Logstedshire itself. The finale to the Disc War began and Tommy was back to being played around by Dream, being threatened and forced to give up his items all over again. All the build-up then leads to almost everyone on the server entering through the Nether portal and Tommy finally getting revenge.

The scene where Dream was being killed until his last and final life wasn't just Tommy getting revenge, everyone else was backing him up. Most people on the server were fed up with Dream's doings, they all wanted Dream gone. It was only because Dream held something of importance, the Revival Book, that they wanted to spare him. Tommy's want to kill his abuser and enemy wasn't out of his own desire, it was fueled by everyone else's anger towards Dream too - which was further reinforced by the wall of important attachments that Dream intended to use against everyone else.

Moral ethics of whether death is justified in a Minecraft roleplay aside, Dream's death was simply akin to the downfall of any other villain. He was made within the story of that season to be unempathetic, with the lack of a perspective to see his side of things. It was a quality that made Dream a good villain in the first place, a villain you couldn't understand. A villain whose inner machinations were a mystery and thus made him much less like a pitiful human. To say that it was Tommy's fault that he became a villain is undercutting the purpose of Dream as a villain during that storyline of the season. It undervalues why he is a villain and genuine fear amongst others in the SMP. Additionally, saying Tommy was wrong for wanting to kill Dream undermines what he went through in exile. Disregarding the most important arc of the character just leaves an incomplete hole in him.

Hence, the reason that no one talks about Tommy being the downfall to Dream in becoming a villain is that it is untrue and completely devaluing to either character of what made them what they are in the story.

#consider this my response #this is practice for me because i have an analysis essay to do #i only write this because i had time on my hands and I like to write #dreamwastaken #c!dream #c!tommy #tommyinnit #dream smp #/rp #/dsmp #analysis thing #full writing #i dont get c!dream apologists sometimes #no hate to those specific people #i just find it strange how people can completely change the context of the story #i also find it veyr damaging to see c!tommy to be blamed for c!dreams downfall #because no one else can be blamed for your own mistakes #you got to own up to it and c!dream just doesnt #thats all really #i dont like this take #suicide mention #abuse mention

[kkusuka]

We all know how looks can be deceiving right? I’d love to request head cannons of Kuroo, Bokuto, Iwaizumi, Konoha, Terushima, and Atsumu with a gf that’s gifted with that super-soaker, wet-wet pussy, a pro at riding that dick, and has the gwak gwak thotty throat slobber 9000 but she is so shy, cute, and innocent at first glance. She looks like the soft-spoken librarian but when they get down and dirty, she puts her body to work and these bois just don’t know how to act from how amazing she is. Let’s say they teased her too much, so she revoked their sex privileges for a few days (not knowing how addicted these guys are on her body). Desperate bois are best bois 😈

:o

i’m shell shocked anon, you’ve blown my mind

Cw: hair pulling, super WAP, kinda fem dom but not really, severe pussy-whipped men  

Kuroo

firstly, he thought you were the innocent type up until you sucked him off for the first time

Honestly, he thought you were a total virgin prude

It wasn't really his fault, you two had met as lab partners for an AP chemistry class

You know, a class full of nerds and people he just assumed would get a job and married when they were thirty

Looking back he should have caught on after seeing you unconsciously jerking of a test tube

But, contrary to popular belief, kuroo is not the social cue master

After a few months of dating, you guys were just a horny time-bomb

Ahh~ the first blow-job, one for the books

He should have known it was going to be good just from the way you were unzipping his jeans, was it normal to almost cum just for your girlfriend palming you?

When you did get his dick out and had it all the way down your throat within the minute, he really did think you were a godsend

He didn't even know what you were doing with his balls, but whatever it was it was working

You didn’t gag or cough, even when he grabbed that back of your head and practically face-fucking you

(the real kicker was when you licked your lips after he came  and gave him that small fucking smirk, mans was done for and he knew it)

Even with all that, nothing, and I mean nothing compares to the first time you guys went at it

when I say that you guy made out for five minutes when he went under your panties and felt the pacific ocean in your panties

He was about to propose right there (and about to cum in his pants for the thousandth time)

He didn't need to but he still rubbed a few circles around your clit, but apparently, you were ready enough

Considering you grabbed his dick and fully sunk onto him in one motion

Poor baby didn't know what hit him

You had to have done this before, and if he hadn't met you in class he would have been sure you slept around and learned everything in the book

You would clench every time your sims met and- AND THAT THINGS WITH HIS BALLS AGAIN

His mind was bungled, especially after you had both come and you fell onto his chest going back to the shy and sweet version he knew you as.

What the hell was that????

Was he fucking you or were you fucking him?? Because at this point he didn't even care

After that experience, you fucked like bunnies, all the time, even in school more than a few times.  

And we all know kuroo can't shut his mouth

And he always teases you about how cute and mouse like you are outside the bedroom and how it's like he’s dating two different girls

....that hit a nerve...

Two different girls??? Well he’ll just have to endure one girl until he realizes what a blessing you are

5 days, 120 hours, 7,200 minutes, and 432,000 seconds, that's how long he lasted

He was going insane, and so he explained that he didn't mean it in a bad way and that he loved how you acted

Forgiving him you rewarded the poor cat boy, 5 rounds for five days

(he didn't want to admit it but he’s pretty sure his dick would have fallen off if you didn't relent when you did)

(he just didn't want to admit that he was pussy-whipped)

Bokuto

You actually had met at a library

One of his teachers wanted him to get a bit of extra tutoring and volunteered you for the job.

You had hit it off great! Personality-wise

(you’ll never tell him but it was frustrating that he clearly didn't understand anything you were telling him)

And you were so sweet and cute, and such a good teacher

He would know that if he wasn't too busy just staring at you and thinking about you and thinking about what you like and what you wear outside of school

(or how good your lips look, or how your thighs look so soft, or that when you get up he can see under your skirt.)

Your guy’s first time was an experience

(bokuto is the cunny easting master, don't call me out)

More cunny juice = more food for owl man

He was excited, somewhere in his mind he knew that it was gonna get better from then on

He wasn't wrong either, although he didn't let your mouth near his dick just yet, he knew that would be good considering the ‘art’ you've created on his neck

The true fuckary started with him on top, but the second he was in you he...froze

Poor baby was shell shocked, you felt better than he had thought, and he just slumped over, you thought he came but he wasn’t ready for it to end so soon

He just sat there for a few minutes, fucked out, before you just decided to flip you both over

That was more his speed at the moment

So he grabbed onto your hips for dear life and you got working

Within two minutes the two of you had created a pool of juices on his bed (bokuto had a lot of precum ok), not that he really cared

You were not competing with anyone but he already had you 2 to 0

(point 1 for the meal and point 2 for being an Olympic dick-rider)

I am also a firm believer that bokuto thrusts up, he just can't help it

You are too addictive, or the way you ground onto him in between every bounce was addictive

I also don't believe that you could even truly deny bokuto sex, he was good at guilt-tripping and he was soooooo adorable

(not to mention the puppy dog eyes  he does that could convince good to do his will)

So I’m sure the only way he wouldn't get sex would be no nut November.

(aka the devil's month of torture, actually not month, week give or take)

This year it just happens that he set a new record, 8 days

He went a whole 8 days without trying for sex

Truly he went about 10 days before he stopped begging and just took matters into his own hands

(under enough pressure Bokuto become a hard dom and no one can say otherwise)

The entire time he was telling you how pretty you were and how well your pussy takes him and that you had no ‘right’ to tell him he couldn’t have sex

He even gained a new phrase “this pussy belongs to me”

You were going to have to set some things straight once he was done ;)

Iwaizumi

You were on the student council, it felt sacrilegious to think anything but pure thoughts about anyone on the council

(that didn't really stop him)

honestly, from the moment his crush festered he wanted to ruin your little innocent vibe  

You always smiled so sweetly at everyone, and just seemed like a true goody two shoes.

And that point seemed to have been correct when you began to date

Until! The fateful day where his perceived innocent girlfriend pulled a full 180 on him!

Firstly, you had offered, out of the blue, to suck him off in the middle of the movie you were watching.

Second, he asked if you knew how, and you giggled at him with that smile he loved so much

Thirdly, when you did get his dick out, you swirled some of the pre-cum on his tip with your thumb, he started getting a bit suspicious

Lastly, you completely swallowed him down, face pressing on his hip, cheeks hollowed.

That’s when he realized that you did know what you were doing

(that also arouse the thought that you had been with someone else, which was counteracted with the fact that you knew how to suck dick by practicing on hair brushed and popsicles)

((it also helped that you barely had a gag reflex))

Truly trying to put that to the test, dom iwa came right out, grabbing your hair and telling you  to suck harder

And you impressed the man, to say the least

After that he had to fuck you, he really just had too

For the first time, he went with a solid missionary, just to test that waters

He didn’t think anyone's pussy should feel like that, but since you were his it was ok

All was well he was lost in the feeling of your pussy and the deciding moment was when you pulled him against you and started to grind your body onto his

You were putting a whole lot of body into it too, and you were so soft, and unless he wanted to cum early something was going to have to change

So he flipped and changed to doggy style, which made thighs worse???

From there you got tighter and he could see all of the wetness drips from your fold onto the sheets

Yup, you were the one for him

(solidified when he pulled your hair and you moaned like a street whore)

As for the no sex thing, that was a ride

It started when Makki asked you if you were always dripping for iwa

And after a week of no sex, he confessed to letting them on his phone and  watching a recording of one of your nightly escapades and he was sorry

(and he just wanted to show them what they were missing, y’know brag a bit)

That was, and he says the only time, he let you try to dom him

You truly were the most amazing woman in the world

Konoha

( i made him kind of an ass lol sorry)

You wee the girl who sat next to him in class

(not to be mean, but he thought you were a nerd)

You always had your uniform covering everything and you were always playing with your short sleeves

You raised your hand a lot in class, always had a pencil to borrow

He just assumed that you had cobwebs in your pussy

Proven wrong at one of the volleyball teams parties, you had apparently been dragged there by a friend (surprising)

And you both were dragged onto some weird spin the bottle game

The bottle would spring and someone would draw an action from this jar and the two people would have to do it in a bedroom in the house

Seeing as that’’s how fate goes you and him were chosen

A blow-job card was chosen

And he laughed with a friend about how you wouldn’t know what to do

Mistake, that struck a real nerve, was this guy for real?

Oh hell no

Being the baddie you were, you walked to him, grabbed him by the arm, and locked lips, breaking away after a moment you asked if he was ready to go.

Poor boy didn't even respond, he just nodded and stood up

Two minutes in, he knew what he had done

You were blowing him like it would be your last time, it should be illegal to be able to suck someone off that well

And damn you pulled away right before he was going to cum.

And then just left him! Walked out of the closet like nothing had ever happened

That couldn’t be it, he wouldn't let that be it

After two weeks of non-stop begging from the guy you agreed to a date, which led to many dates

Which led to him finally being able to fuck you

God damn, he didn't think it would get better, and it did, it really did.  

You were laying on top of him and grinding your entire body onto him

Dripping all over him and squeezing him like crazy

He was never going to let you go

Now, that same friend from that party seemed very intrigued with your relationship

And he just can't help but tell him about how amazing you were, it just sucks that he did it right in front of you in the middle of lunch

Pussy pass revoked

He didn't think he did anything wrong so he went two whole weeks without any touch and he went crazy

He fell apart and apologized

After he begged enough you gave him the pussy pass back

And now he doesn't do anything to jeopardize it

Terushima

this is gonna sound weird

But

I feel like terushima knows when someone is a good lay

It's like a secret talent of his, he just knows and his radar went off when he saw you

But he thought it was wrong at first considering you were wearing leggings and a huge sweater

Not good fuck material  

But he had to make sure, so he just walked up to you and asked if you were a good fuck

Surprisingly you didn’t punch him in the nuts, instead, you laughed at him and said that he would just have to find out

And that he should at least take you out to dinner first

Adm he took you up it, made it the best damn dinner date he’d ever be on

And you reward him

With what?

The best damn blow-job he’d ever get as long as he lived.

And it fit that to the T

It started with the little licks and swirls, then, you gotta catch the man off guard, and just take his entire dick in your throat

And with that, he was sure he had superpowers

When He came, fairly quick for his taste, you swallowed all of his cum and he was ready to marry you

If he needed to take you on a date for that, he would take you on a date every day for the rest of his life

(not every day) but that's what he did

But eventually, just a blowjob wasn't enough, oh no he knew you had a tight hole

And he knew you were gushing most of the time (ushy gushy my pussy-)

If making him suck the fingers you used to fuck yourself after he came was anything

And you tasted good, really good

He was so ready for it that he let you ride him the whole night

He thought his dick was a]going to fall off, you were just that damn good

It was insane, you were almost using him as a dildo, grinding your clit on the base of his cock

And you looked glorious, he was going to have to talk to you about recording it so he could watch it over and over

Maybe show a few people-

And that's what he did, poor unfortunate soul got the silent treatment for two days before he fell apart

He literally got on his knees and asked for forgiveness

(biggest simp on the planet, but only for you (and your dripping cunt))

He’s sure to never do it again, he’s also sure that if you asked him to step on him he would let you

(and I think he’s the most pussy-whipped)

Ok maybe you didn't fully forgive him until he showed you what his tongue piercing could do, but it was worth every moment.

Atsumu

Honestly, he was dared to sleep with the next girl who walked through the cafeteria door

And that just happens to bring you, miss. I remind the teacher there was homework

(Well he actually wasn’t really sure about that but that's what you looked like and he was already regretting his decision.)

In defense of him, your hair was in a messy bun and you had this teacher's pet aura around you

But he would be damned if he lost this bet to his brother and Suna, oh no

The moment he wa[lked up to your table you knew what was happening, and shut it down immediately

After that, you officially had his attention!

Lucky you!

Unlucky you for the fact that all he wanted to do was get in your pants.

But lucky you again because you could hold this over his head!

But one day you just woke up and chose dick (respectable)

So when atsumu did his daily “c'mon baby, you know you want some” you just stood up, scaring him

(he finally thought you were gonna kill him)

Instead, you grabbed him by the dick, literally grabbed his dick through his pants, and tugged him all the way to the roof

“Hey-hey baby, no need to be that rough”

“Shut up, Miya. pants down, now”

That was not where he thought that was going but he isn't going to complain.

“You want your dick wet so bad? Here you go!”

Honestly, he could die happy.

Not so sound gross, but you were slobbering around his cock like a pro. Now that left the thought, you had to have done this before.

You had hands on the back of his thighs pushing him further down your throat, hollowed cheeks, damn he should’ve done this was sooner

He was gonna cum-

And your mouth was gone, your hand was jerking him but that wasn't nearly as nice

“Lay back.”

Yes, yes he will do that. If what’s about to happen is what he thinks is about to happen  

And now your pussy was above his face. Ok a little detour but he’ll take it

You were literally dripping onto his face while he got to work, and you went back to sucking him off

Yup, heaven.

After you both came he made sure to tell you that that had to happen again.

And it did, you rode him to hell in the hole to heaven, and he couldn't help himself from telling the entire volleyball team about how good you were

Now he really didn't think about what would happen if the news got back to you

But he definitely didn't think that meant a whole week of nothing

Well nothing for him, you made sure to send him more than a few videos of rigid dildos and fingering yourself

A week of torture, but when it was finally over he had an entirely new folder of spanking material

he was sure about who he told about your escapades, as in he told himself and Osamu if he just wanted to vent

poor guy was paranoid now

#kurro x reader #kuroo smut #kuroo x reader smut #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader smut #bokuto x reader #bokuto smut #bokuto x reader smut #bokuto koutarou x reader smut #bokuto koutarou x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwazumi x reader #iwaizumi smut #iwaizumi x reader smut #iwaizumi haijime x reader #iwaizumi haijime x reader smut #konoha x reader #konoha smut #konoha x reader smut #atsumu x reader #atsumu smut #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya x reader smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader smut #terushima x reader #terushima x reader smut #terushima smut #terushima yuji x reader

[a-dusty-emerald]

Crimson Cuddles: Draco x Reader /Fluff

Just a fluff story for your morning Draco x Y/n comfort. (From my Wattpad story)

Crimson Cuddles: In other words, you get your period. _____________________________________________

Draco was tapping his quill on the edge of his desk annoyed, his eyes rolling at each sentence coming out of Professor Babbling's mouth (Ancient runes Prof.). He never cared for this class, he knew what he had to know.

He huffed at Granger's hand that was fluttering up high at each and every question.

'Does this girl snort cocaine every morning?' He thought. The know-it-all bubbly energy of the muggleborn Gryffindor at 8am only added to his temper.

However, the root of his issue was that his girlfriend, Y/n, was nowhere in sight. Class was almost over, so Draco guessed she overslept. She always was such a night-owl either way, so she must have stayed up till late. She rarely missed classes though. He didn't want to drag her to class himself just because she was not being responsible, though.

'I have told her so many times to train her owl to wake her up each morning. Unbelieveable.' He huffed again.

Thankfully Ancient Runes were finally over. Next class was Potions, Y/n's favourite subject. He had a smug look as he took his time going to class. He could already imagine the disheveled look on her face that she actually missed a class, and maybe, maayyybe, he could get her to train the bloody owl.

As he strutted confidently to the Potion's class, he lifted his eyes from his robe to his and Y/n's desk. His smirk fell.

'Where the fuck is she?' He thought. Y/n would not miss potions just for the sake of it. He had to physically detain her from going to class with a high fever a year ago. And then, it dawned on him. 'She must be sick.'

He turned on his heel to go check on her, bumping to Snape who was right behind him. He eyed him, an eyebrow raised at the platinum haired boy.

"Pardon me, Professor." He said coldly and sat on his desk.

Potions were boring for once. Draco had no one to nag him, no one to talk to. As soon as class ended, he said to Blaise that he would catch up later at dinner and sprinted towards the Slytherin's female dormitories.

Pansy had walked out of the entrance just now, and Draco ran to actually manage to get through the door. He walked towards Y/n's room, not knowing what's wrong. He lightly knocked on her door.

He heard a muffled familiar voice speak: "Pansy, I told you already, I don't care which bra you pick." Draco stiffled a laugh, biting his cheek. "Fine then, I'll wear the lacy one" he mimicked Pansy's voice. He heard his girlfriend softly laugh, understanding who she was speaking to. "You can come in, Draco" he heard the muffled voice again.

Draco opened the door slowly, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. Has she not been out of bed yet? It was past 10am now. "Darling?"

"Yes?" Y/n's small voice was heard from under the fluffy covers. Draco suppressed a short laugh and sat at the edge of her bed.

"You alright?"

Y/n's head finally emerged from the covers and draco got a good look of her. Her skin seemed pale, her eyes tired and her hair was a mess. Y/n looked at draco, who might have been smirking at her state, but she saw a glint of worry in his eyes.

"I'm fine" she finally spoke. Draco said nothing, only leaned backwards and crossed his arms on his chest, a blonde eyebrow reaching higher than his hairline - or so it seemed. He was not satisfied with the answer. After a prolonged silence, he huffed and spoke again.

"Sure you are darling. Peachy as ever." He smirked again at her inability to lie to him.

"...What I meant is I am not ill. I'm on my period, I don't feel great. Quite bad actually. Didn't wanna bother you", she said as she slumped back into the covers, closing her eyes again.

His smirk fell. For the jackass he could be, he knew quite a few things about periods, Narcissa had informed him from a young age about the basics. He would never be insensitive to his girl, of all people. He had her 'female issue' supplies in his room as well, in case she stayed over.

"Your wellbeing is not bothering me. Do you need anything?"

He saw her eyes glimmer, peaking through the covers. "Can I come to your room? I want to take a shower and cuddle. Have left my conditioner at yours as well." She said.

"Sure, come on, lets get to my room." He threw the covers off her in one motion, and she shivered, her source of heat violently being taken from her. She was crouched in a fetal position, her hands pressed on her lower abdomen. She hissed in pain, as she felt a horrible cramp passing through her.

Draco frowned. He hated seeing her in pain. He inched closer to her to cuddle her, but Y/n was determined to get out of bed.

"No no, later. I need to get up. It's not doing me any good. I need to shower." She muttered as she forced herself out of bed, threw a cardigan over her pyjamas,put her hair in a quick ponytail to hide the frizziness and made her way to the boy's dormitories, clutching Draco's arm along the way.

Once she got in the -much bigger and fancier- room, she immediately locked herself in the bathroom, stripping out her silky pyjamas and hopping in the shower. She let the hot water relax her muscles,the steam putting her in a drowsy state. As she lathered her coconut shampoo in her hair and reached for her boyfriend's body wash, green apple scented, she silently laughed on his obsession with green apples, when she heard of him outside the door.

"Imma make us some tea. Alright?" "Sure!" She spoke as loudly as she could, in order to be heard over the sound of the water.

Stepping out of the shower, she found a pair of clean underwear waiting for her next to a brand new box of tampons and smiled.

'If only Blaise would see Draco making her tea and providing her tampons, he would tease him for eternity' she smirked, giggling to herself. Blaise was her best friend, telling him a few details of his oh-so-rare soft side would give him enough teasing opportunities for the whole semester. Draco's well known soft spot was her, he always had his stone cold persona around the guys and Blaise was always ready to hear stories that prove a point they all knew; the platinum haired boy was nowhere near emotionless or insensitive.

Draco opened his room's door carefully holding 2 mugs of hot tea, finding a more relaxed, but still in insufferable pain Y/n. She was wearing one of his hoodies and some high knee warm fuzzy socks, and he could not control the smile that crept over his lips.

"What?" Y/n said curiously, seeing him smiling at her. "Love it when you're wearing my clothes. You are honestly so cute". Y/n slightly blushed and faced the other way.

Draco made his way to bed, handing her her mug. He took a sip and spoke "I read tea is good for the pain. Warmth in general. So if you want to cuddle my hot as fuck body, understandable. It's available."

"Oh is it?" Y/n jokinly answered, her eyebrow raised playfully.

"Yup" he said. "Do not take it for granted though. Other women will be qeueing for the Malfoy cuddling experience later today." He smirked.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," Y/n said calmly. "I will castrate you and send your balls to your oh-so-friendly father, letting him know his lineage is lost forever".

Draco was audibly laughing, while his arm cradled Y/n's small body. Her face suddently went from a teasing expression to a scrunched up, pained one.

He frowned again. If he could take some of the pain, he would. "Another cramp?"

He heard a muffled nod from Y/n's head on his shoulder, and pressed a few kisses on her exposed neck, his arms hugging her even closer to him. His fingers snaked their way under her shirt and pressed in her lower abdomen, slowly massaging the area. He heard a shruddered breath come out of her, and didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing, continuing nevertheless. He stopped however, when he felt dampness on his neck. He pulled himself back to look at her. She had been crying.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked full of worry. "Sorry if I did, thought it would be better-"

Y/n furiously shook her head. "No, I'm just in a lot of pain, got a bit emotional that you are taking care of me. Stupid hormones..." Y/n mumbled, her face flushed.

Draco smiled and wiped her tear away. "Shhh, 'ts alright darling. Come here." He pulled her back in their previous position.

"Please continue whatever magic you were doing. Your fingers are proven to be magical today."

"I think you knew that beforehand, darling."

She could practically HEAR the smirk, so she smacked him lightly in his shoulder, as Draco showered her with kisses. He opened a box near his bed, getting a chocolate frog out and giving it to Y/n.

"Thank you." She smiled at him, and pressed a sweet peck at his lips.

As soon as she ate it, he removed one of his hands from her abdomen and grabbed his mug to finish the last bit of tea that was left. Placing the mug back, he felt her head in his chest getting heavier. She was drifting off to sleep, painfree, feeling relaxed in his embrace, and Draco was sure this image alone could let him cast a Patronus if he tried.

The next day, Blaise teased the fuck out of Draco as he huffed annoyed. He should have never let them be friends.

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#fanfiction #slytherin #Draco #dracomalfoy #draco lucius malfoy #draco x y/n #draco x oc #hogwarts #fluff #period #period fic #comfort #Gryffindor #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #dracotok #fanfic #wizard

[miss-ali-lawliet]

Heyy!! I was wondering if you could do a L x reader where the reader gets killed by Kira because they were involved with L. If you aren’t confortable writing this it’s ok! Thank you~

Hello Anon and thank you for the request!! I'm comfortable with it and even though I'd rather see L being happy, I am a sucker for angst. So hopefully I do this justice!

Also note I have rewritten this way too many times to count 😭 I really tried my best, but I'm so sorry this took so long! Also there was technically two requests asking for the same sort of thing. I’ll get to the next headcanons as soon as I can, but hope whoever is reading this had a great day/night wherever you are!

CW: Death, angst, fluff, kind of long

It was yet another normal day for the genius detective who called himself L. He had spent a majority of the day working with the task force members on the Kira case, mainly in monitoring the cameras inside the task force headquarters as well. It wasn't just the task force and Watari he was working with though, he also had the person he called his partner, in both work and romantically. 

Being in a relationship was obviously nothing he sought out or even bothered thinking about as he grew up, mainly finding himself way too focused with his work. He never thought of himself as someone to ever be with someone romantically and it was something he didn't feel sad about, he just didn't see the point in such a matter and didn't have the time for it. Yet that all changed when you entered his life. 

You were something he never expected. You came in and even though he may have tried to ignore you or treat you as he would with any person he would meet, you were different. You had met him years before the Kira case and made it clear that you simply wished to be by his side no matter what. Something he never understood, but never doubted as you had proven to him time and time again how loyal you were and that no matter the challenge, you would conquer them together. 

So he has asked you to work with him behind the scenes and you accepted. It seemed to have worked out very well too, as you had remained at his side unknown to the rest of the world just how he planned. It seemed like no case could do anything to knock either of you down, and L had even asked for you to move in with him. It was great, and it felt like you two could handle anything together. 

Then Kira came to be. 

L didn't want you to get involved at first, but once again your stubborn nature would prevail.

"If you have to risk your life by going to Japan, I will do the same. I will not stand by and let you do this alone!" 

It was one of the things you said, and it was the main thing that stood out to him and at that point he knew you wouldn't back down. So he agreed, letting you join him and Watari in going to Japan to help with the Kira case.

L snapped out of any thoughts he had when his lover moved up from where they laid, getting into a sitting position and resting their head against his arm gently. 

"Is something the matter?" He found himself asking, raising a brow as he glanced over at them. 

"Of course not, me wanting to be close to you isn't a bad thing" they would chuckle, moving a bit closer to the detective as he couldn't really argue with that. 

"I can tell there's a lot on your mind though, and I wish I could do more than just let you get lost in your work." His partner would frown as their gaze looked up at him a bit more. 

L would stare at them for a couple moments, it wasn't surprising that they'd take notice of his behavior after all. If it wasn't Watari catching on to how he might be feeling, it was his darling instead. 

"Well I'd rather get as much done with the Kira Case as possible… but if you had to decide on what I should do instead, what would it be?" He'd respond in his usual calm manner, wondering to see how they'd respond and it seems they knew right away.

"Easy, I'd want you to take a break." 

"You know that could be a bad ide-" he would start but you quickly cut him off.

"It's never a bad idea to take some time to take care of yourself and recharge, so when you go back to working you'll feel even better." They must have been thinking of this for a while with how fast they knew how to react to his statements. 

"I appreciate the thought Y/N, but-" He would begin, but they'd simply shake their head as they turned so they were sitting on their knees facing them. 

"I've already discussed this with Watari, and even he agreed a small break could be beneficial for you and the case. It won't be long, maybe a day at least or something.. like tomorrow for example." 

Of course Watari would go on their side, what a traitor, but honestly a small break didn't sound too awful. 

"Hm.. what would I even do on this break?" Inquired the messy haired man. 

"I was thinking that me and you could just spend some time together and do whatever we want that doesn't deal with the case…" his partner would begin to say, looking up at him with an almost longing sort of way. "It's been awhile since we've been able to do that sort of thing." 

"... That is true." L paused for a few moments, his work centered mind battling the other half that wanted to spend as much time as possible with the person he loved. "I have missed spending more time with you like that.."

Y/N would give him a soft smile as they scooted closer, moving his laptop slightly off to the side of his knees as they tested their hand on top of them instead.

"So is that a yes to the break for tomorrow?" They'd ask, leaning up a bit towards L who at this point had moved the laptop off of his lap completely and to the side of the bed so he could have his focus on them. 

"Mhm, it seems you know what's best for me after all" he'd say with a soft chuckle as his lips curled up into a soft smile. 

His lover's eyes would light up as their smile widened as they moved closer, putting L's knees down so they weren't too close to his chest. 

"I'd like to say so at least" they'd say in a playful and low tone as they moved as close as they could without being on his lap. 

Their face soon being inches away from his own to the point they felt each other's breaths mingle together. Soon enough the space between them disappeared as they couldn't hold back and kissed the dark haired detective. It was soft and warm before they found themselves deepening it, as if showing how much they both longed to just be together. L would bring a hand up to cup their cheek gently as they kissed for what he wished could last longer, but they pulled away after a couple of moments.

His partner's gaze remained on his face, chuckling softly as they leaned in and hugged him tightly. L would accept it as they ended up on his lap so he could hold them better. He rested a hand on their back as his other ran through their hair gently. 

"I can't wait for tomorrow" they'd say in an excited whisper, causing him to chuckle. 

"I can't wait either, I can already tell it's going to be more than worth it." L would say in an almost purr as he rested his eyes, them both snuggling together more, enjoying the closeness and warmth. 

"I love you." His partner would say softly, their chin resting on him and their voice sounding as if they were getting ready to drift away into a nice sleep in his arms. 

"I... you too..." He would reply a little hesitantly as he rubbed their back gently, listening to their heartbeat and steady breathing as their grip remained around him. The word love was something he had trouble with saying, as it was something he wasn't sure if he fully understood, but even if he couldn't say the word just yet, Y/N understood and seemed content nonetheless. 

They would continue to enjoy their silence together, it was peaceful and just felt perfect. A great way to end a day and get ready for the day they looked forward to together. L wasn't someone who looked forward to the days to come too much as he had his focus on work to the point where he'd lose track of time, but when it came to Y/N, he felt like he could truly experience normalcy for once. He had so much to look forward to, even if he wasn't really sure what that was yet. It felt like a fairytale he read once, where even through the rough times the two love interests would get through it together to have their happy ending. 

Unfortunately, this wasn't a fairytale. 

After what must have been around 5-10 minutes, when L had found himself beginning to drift off himself something changed. Something he could have predicted, but with the circumstances this was something he hoped would just never happen throughout the case, something he had tried to prevent with all of his safety precautions. It seemed as if he hadn't done enough though. 

The grip from his partner's would suddenly tighten as their heart rate would increase and their breathing hitched, making them let out a gasp. L jumped a little at their actions, his eyes shooting open as he turned his gaze towards them. 

"Y/N?? What's wrong?" He'd ask immediately, looking at them as their grip on them began to loosen more and more as their head slumped down as if they were on the verge of falling asleep still. 

L didn't know why at first but he felt dread creep up on him as his heartbeat began to race. Then he remembered people like Lind L Tailor who had a similar reaction, right before he.. no. No. His mind felt like it was beginning to buzz as he kept denying that possibility, repeating his partner's name as he raised their head to look at him. 

Their gaze wasn't anything like earlier. The light and all the warmth they had, how L could tell how they felt with a simple look, was gone. It seemed almost glazed over, distant, and any form of light was gone and dull as they stared up at him. 

Many questions went through the man's mind, how did Kira find out about them? How did they find out their name?? Did he know their connection to him?? What went wrong??? Yet his thoughts were torn from the questions as his dearest would groan softly in pain. They still could react which meant this wasn't some ordinary heart attack like Kira's last victims, perhaps there was a way to save them. 

"Y/N?? I know you can hear me, please say something-" L would begin but he knew that if Kira had gotten to them that his time was limited and that he had to act fast. He moved over to his phone, pressing a button that would contact Watari or any of the task force members. 

"Watari!" L began, his usual calm tone beginning to show some sort of panic as he spoke into the device, demanding that the older man or any of the members get in her to help. He didn't have much time to say a lot, just saying that you were hurt as needed medical attention as soon as possible. He didn't want to even bring up the name of the bastard that he knew was behind it, simply because a part of him didn't want to believe it even though it was obvious. 

After talking into the device he turned his full attention back onto the person that meant most to him who laid in his arms, their struggled breathing quickly becoming steady but more faint as the minutes passed. They stared up towards him with their lost gaze.

"Hold on, Y/N, help is coming.. Just hold on, It'll be okay." L began as he took their hand as all they could do was simply stare at him. 

As they stared and seemed to be struggling against what was happening, their breathing was becoming more faint as tears began to form at their eyes. It seemed that they were unable to speak, every time they opened their mouth to speak, a look of pain washed over them.

"Keep holding on, it'll be okay Y/N.. just keep holding on for me." He tried his best to keep his voice calm, yet as he looked down at them he felt his voice beginning to shake as if he was going to break. 

The fact they haven't died yet felt cruel to the man who held his lover, as if Kira was doing this on purpose somehow. As if they didn't deserve the mercy of having a quick and painless death in comparison to last criminals. This was a way for Kira to get back at L directly, and it was working unfortunately. 

L frowned, wiping their tears with one hand quickly before he checked their pulse. It was slowing down. No.. no, this can't be happening. This had to be some sort of cruel nightmare, something that wasn't unusual for him, but he knew that wasn't the case here. Watari soon arrived in the room with Soichiro and the other members, who looked like they wanted to help yet as Watari went over to L and Y/N, they had a feeling that there wasn't much they could do anyways.

As the pulse began to slow down and their breathing began to sound more forced as they struggled to speak and breathe normally, but under the influence of Kira it was impossible. There wasn't much time left, Watari knew this and so did L. They all knew that the fate of Y/N was in the hands of Kira and he had chosen to make their last moments something for the others involved to remember, as if it was a warning. 

L watched their expression as Watari tried to do what he could to keep her awake, which wasn't a whole lot unfortunately. His hand was still on their pulse as it slowed down even more. L couldn't stand this. He kept speaking to Y/N, no.. at this point it was more of a plea. Begging for them to keep going, yet as he saw how much they were suffering he wondered if it would be better if Kira could just end their suffering once and for all, which hurt him to even think about in the first place as he still was in denial about the situation. 

It couldn't end like this. He had promised to keep them safe, but he had failed them. Yet they had a peaceful look on their face as they smiled, as if they had accepted it. They began to open their mouth again, and even though they couldn't actually speak it was easy for L to see what they were mouthing. It was them saying that they loved him, and the more he thought about it, it seemed as if this was what they were trying to say this whole time. 

"I.. I love you too…" He found himself finally saying. The phrase he struggled saying fully and the one time he can actually say it was when they were being taken away from him. What type of cruel joke was this? 

His lover's eyes began to close, the smile on their face beginning to slowly fade. He held them close, fighting back any sort of emotion as he could hear their heart beginning to beat slower and slower.. until it finally stopped completely. 

"She's gone." Was all Watari said softly, mainly to the other members who had remained silent. 

The shock of the situation had made it hard for any of them to react, not sure what to say or do, especially when it came to L who went dead silent. It was as if they were all trying to figure out what to do next, but no one seemed to know the answer at that moment.

What happened afterwards was a blur for L as he held them close, all he remembered was Watari announcing it in the room and the rest of the world around him became fuzzy. The person who was teaching him how to love and loved him full heartedly, the one person who he had let in to see a side of L that no one else dared to bother with, was now gone. Kira had taken them away from him. 

He didn't know how it happened, yet he knew it had to be his fault. If he had been more careful, they would have most likely been fast asleep together to prepare for their break the next day. His chest ached as if he himself was having a heart attack of some sort, and a part of him would have preferred that then the pain that seemed to consume him. He kept his face down and buried into his partner's shoulder for who knows how long in the silent room. 

He wasn't sure what to do or say as the loss began to wash over the room. Matsuda looked as if he wanted to go over and comfort him, but even he knew that wasn't the best course of action. So the task force members kept their space, just remaining silent as Watari sat close. After a few moments the older man had waved towards the door, meaning it would be best for them to leave. So they did, leaving L alone with Watari. Soichiro would get in contact with someone to handle Y/N, but they'd all be respectful as L took this time to process everything. 

Watari rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, something L didn't react to at first before he looked up and glanced at Watari, tears had managed to fill his eyes. A sight that wasn't common to say the least. He looked at Watari, as if asking his caretaker what to do next but he gained no answer. Instead Watari just sat beside him with his hand on him gently, a small gesture yet it was something the detective needed. 

~~~

About an hour later, Y/N was taken away and L was left staring blankly out a window. The atmosphere was heavy as the task members haven't said too much to L yet, and when they did it was them apologizing for the loss and trying to show that they cared and were there for him. L didn't respond though, avoiding their gazes almost completely and stayed to himself for the most part. As he stood by himself by the window, Matsuda would find himself walking over finally.

"Ryuzaki…" he'd begin, making his presence known and to see if there was a response but not surprisingly there wasn't. 

"Is there anything we can do tonight?" He asked, frowning as he looked at his feet a little for a few seconds. "Whether it's something for the case or to help you feel better-"

"No." L had finally spoken, cutting off the other male who looked up a bit in surprise. 

"Huh? What do you mean no?" 

"There's nothing we can do at the moment for the case, and there's only one thing that could make me feel better about this situation."

"What is that?" Matsuda asked, yet even he had a feeling what the answer could be. So it didn't surprise him hearing it. 

"Simple. Catching Kira."

#ali writing #ali writes #death note #l lawliet imagine #l lawliet x reader #l lawliet #death note x reader #character death #request #death note L #death note imagines #death note writing #dn #dn writing #dn fluff #L x reader

[rosiehunterwolf]

And the Walls Kept Tumbling Down

Prompts: Trust and Breakdown

Word Count: 3,706

Characters: Pixal and Lloyd

Timeline: right before season 8

Trigger Warnings: Mental Breakdown/Panic Attack, Lack of Self-Worth

Summary: Pixal has been Samurai X for awhile, now- a role that allows her to be herself, to be happy. But it’s also... incredibly lonely. Luckily, she’s not the only one alone- Lloyd has been left in the city while his friends go after Master Wu, and his presence is comforting. But as they struggle with a mysterious biker gang, Pixal can’t help feeling the want to be part of something more.

Link to read on FanFiction.Net:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13897921/1/And-the-Walls-Kept-Tumbling-Down

“Master Lloyd, maybe you should go get that checked at the hospital.”

“Pix, I’m fine, it’s just a scratch,” Lloyd mumbled through the gauze as he snapped it with his teeth, winding the last several inches around his forearm. “And I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Why? You are our master now, aren’t you?”

Lloyd snorted, tentatively testing his arm as he moved it back and forth. “I’m no master. I can’t even keep our team together.”

Pixal stared at him, shocked. “We all agreed on this, Lloyd. It is the most efficient plan to find Master Wu.”

“Yeah, and whose plan was that?” Lloyd’s voice was suddenly sharp.

“I believe it was Zane’s, but-”

“Exactly! It was Zane’s plan, not mine. I did nothing. And now, they’re off searching for Master Wu, and I’m sitting here, doing nothing.”

An unfamiliar sensation squeezed at Pixal’s chest, one that felt hot and fierce and miserable all at the same time, before she had to remind herself that no, she didn’t have a body, didn’t have a chest to feel pain in, and that she was just speaking to Lloyd over the monitors.

At least, in the moment, she was.

“Zane trusted me to watch over this city,” she insisted, her voice unstable- which it shouldn’t be, she was a nindroid, not affected by such things- “He trusted us.”

Lloyd flinched visibly, looking away from the computer they were using to talk. “Pix, I didn’t mean- look, I’m sure Zane much would’ve rather had you come along with him, but instead you got stuck babysitting me.”

“Normally, I would object, but I think you’ve already proven your own point,” she commented, shooting a pointed glare at his bandaged arm.

Lloyd gritted his teeth, letting out a slow breath. “I get it, Pixal, I’ll be more careful next time.”

“A doctor’s visit couldn’t hurt, Lloyd.”

“Will you drop it already?”

She frowned. “I wish you wouldn’t grow cross with me, Master Lloyd. I am only trying to look out for you-”

Lloyd stood up sharply. “I get it, okay? I’m incompetant. You don’t need to keep calling me ‘master’ out of pity, I know I’ll never be able to live up to my unc- Master Wu.”

Pixal blinked at him, stunned. “Lloyd, I never-”

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear it!” And then he was reaching forward, slamming down the laptop’s lid, and Pixal’s world went dark.

He knew how much she hated that, when he turned her off or walked away without her consent, like she was some sort of object.

He hadn’t meant it- she had learned a lot about Lloyd in their past year alone together, and he often became impulsive when he was angry in order to cover up his sensitive, insecure side. It would probably only be a matter of hours before he came running back, apologizing repeatedly, and sobbing over what a horrible friend he was as Pixal patiently waited for him to calm down. But she had grown to like and respect Lloyd, and it still stung when he snapped at her, even though the logical part of her mind knew that it wasn’t really her that was the problem.

What bothered her even more so, though, was the things he said about himself. It had been abrupt, this time, but she hadn’t missed the times he had slipped it in more subtly into conversation. It made her angry, how he refused to appreciate himself.

And now, stuck in this stupid form, she couldn’t go after him.

Well. Technically, she could.

The Samurai X suit had been up and operational for a few months since her last major upgrade- the one that had finally given her her own, independent body, separate from just the mech itself.

But she was nervous to remove herself from the computer entirely. She was aware that she was so incredibly useful as a program, with instant access to all sorts of technology and data. She had become an asset to her team.

She liked feeling important, feeling like she was part of the group.

But being the samurai allowed her to physically be there. In these last few months, she felt like she had really grown to know and trust Lloyd- even if he didn’t know it was her beneath the samurai mask. She wanted to get to know the others fully, too- she was already fairly close to Zane, but she liked the rest of the team, too- Cole, Jay, Kai, and especially Nya, Pixal felt intrigued by. She had spent some time connecting similarities between them- there were a lot of differences, too, but she felt like they could be friends. A physical form would allow her to bond with them, like a human. She was well aware she wasn’t one, but she wanted to understand.

But she was afraid, too. Except for Zane, and maybe Lloyd, now, seeing the others again felt daunting. They had never been particularly close before she had been scrapped. What if they thought she was infringing on their team? The six of them had been close for so long. It would make sense if she wasn’t wanted there.

She just wasn’t ready, not yet. Communicating with Lloyd through the monitors would just have to do for now. It was difficult, though- it didn’t seem like he took her as seriously this way.

For now, though, they had bigger problems. Lloyd’s injury hadn’t been too severe, from what she could tell, and would heal quickly. But it had been a sizable wound, and could leave some pretty severe scarring, if he wasn’t careful with it- she knew he wouldn’t be, which was why she had to keep him in line- but the point was, these were no common thieves going around, dealing this kind of damage. This gang- whoever they were- were something bigger, more dangerous than their day-to-day threats. Pixal wasn’t sure if it was severe enough to start calling the others back- she didn’t want to interrupt their search for Master Wu. But she would certainly have to keep a closer eye on Lloyd from now on, to make sure he didn’t get in over his head.

She should probably start playing a more active role as Samurai X. Although the ninja had a tentative relationship with her mysterious persona, she wasn’t about to send Lloyd against this gang alone again.

She just hoped he would have her.

---

The next call came in much sooner than Pixal had anticipated. At the unappealing hour of four in the morning, Lloyd hauled himself out of bed and stumbled drearily out the door at Pixal’s report of a prison breach alarm coming from Kryptarium. With the rush, there was no time to talk to him, and the drive to the prison was awkward and silent.

When they arrived, it turned out the alarm had been triggered by accident. The good news was there were no criminals to stop, the bad news was that they had woken up at four am for no reason.

Not that Pixal particularly minded- sleep was inconsequential to a nindroid, but Lloyd was less than pleased.

“I mean, if you’re going to have an alarm system that immediately pages the city’s ninja team and makes them stop everything they’re doing to rush over there, it should at least be heavily guarded. How do you even accidentally set off an emergency alarm? I thought these guys were supposed to be professionals!”

Pixal stifled a laugh as he paused, taking a sip of the iced coffee he had picked up as they had headed back. He had told her, “If I’m already up and ready, I might as well spend some time in the city for a little while. Y’know, in case they trigger any other ‘alarms’ that I need to go rushing off to.”

“Perhaps they need a lesson from the ninja,” Pixal suggested.

“I’ll say,” he grumbled. “I don’t know how this city ever survived before we showed up.”

“Well, experience is the best teacher, and you guys have triggered enough traps and alarms to last a lifetime.”

“Wait, what?” Lloyd spluttered. “No, we haven’t! We’re highly trained ninja, we’re better than that.”

“Oh, really? I seem to remember quite a few in the Tournament of Elements, or the time with the technoblades, or when General Cryptor tracked you- shall I go on?”

“Shut up,” Lloyd snorted, trying to hide his grin. “You don’t know nothin’.”

“You’re right, I don’t. I was only with you for a short time before I was uploaded into Zane’s head, and after that, my view of your adventures was extremely limited. I can’t imagine how much more trouble you got into when I wasn’t there.”

“I hate you,” he said, attempting to scowl and failing miserably, the look on his face was too comedic for Pixal to bite back her laugh this time. It wasn’t long before Lloyd joined her, and soon, he was bent over, clutching his stomach, and he had to sit down for a moment to catch his breath. Pixal felt warm inside as she watched him take a long sip from his coffee. She enjoyed seeing him like this. He had been far too tense over the last few weeks, and she missed the more childlike, carefree side of him.

After a moment, though, the expression on his face fell solemn, and he turned to the tablet they were using to communicate to look her directly in the eyes. “Pix, I’m really sorry for yelling at you last night. I was being a brat.”

She paused carefully, both relieved and nervous that they were finally addressing this. “Lloyd, I know you were hurting. I am only trying to look out for you.”

He put his hands behind his head. “Yeah, I know, I need to work harder-”

“Lloyd,” she interrupted firmly. “That’s the other thing. I need you to stop saying things like that about yourself.”

He cocked his head at her. “Like what?”

Good grief, he doesn’t even know he’s doing it. “Talking down on yourself. I called you ‘master’ because that’s what you are now. You’ve earned this title, Lloyd. Just like you’ve earned everything else in your life, and more. It was not my intention to say you would take your uncle’s place, but say that you can be just as great of a leader as he was.”

Lloyd suddenly found the cracks in the concrete to be very interesting. “See, people keep saying that, but- it’s just so hard. I feel like I always mess everything up. Something always goes wrong, or worse, someone gets hurt-”

“Lloyd, you’re one person. You can’t expect to be successful all the time. You may be a ninja, yes, but your job is very difficult and dangerous, something most people wouldn’t even dream of tackling. You’re part of a team for a reason, and I’m sorry they’re not here right now, but until they return, you’re going to have to give yourself a little credit.”

Lloyd’s breathing hitched, and he scrubbed at his suspiciously wet eyes. His next words were so quiet, Pixal could barely hear them. “I just miss them. Everyone… everyone always leaves, and I’m tired of being alone all the time.”

Pixal was struggling to breathe herself- even though she was a nindroid, didn’t need to breathe- the sensation was still there.

She could remember when she had been alone too. Those nights after Zane had… had died, had been some of the worst times of her life. The emptiness had only made it sting worse, but when Lloyd had reached out to her, she had refused him.

She had been scared, scared to let anyone else into her life in case she lost them too, but now she realized that he had been hurting just as much as she had. She knew his friends had gone off on their own like she had, leaving him just as alone as the rest of them. She had been the cause of that, she had only hurt him more when he was already going through so much.

When she spoke again, it wasn’t just for the situation at present.

“I’m sorry, Lloyd. I’m so sorry.”

He looked up at the screen, his watery green eyes staring into hers, then raised an arm, his fingers ghosting the screen, before falling back to his side. He looked away, swallowing.

“What is it?”

“I just… I wish I could hug you. I wish you were here. Like, actually.”

“I am much more useful in the computer, Lloyd.”

“Yeah, but you’re not… you’re not here. I don’t care about how useful you are.”

Pixal let out a trembling breath, but Lloyd hardly seemed to notice, already beginning to stand up. “Sorry about being such a downer. I better get back to the Bounty, I’m sure the police have something for me to do.”

“Lloyd?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I just… they’ll be back soon. I know they aren’t like… other people. They’re going to come back. And besides, until then, I’ve got you, right?” He gave her a shy smile.

Pixal froze. This was it. He was extending- a metaphorical- hand to her. Offering her to be part of something that she had been wanting for a long time.

But it felt wrong. She wasn’t a ninja. She wasn’t one of his teammates. What if she was assuming wrong? What if he wasn’t really asking that?

“I’m not one of the ninja, Lloyd. I can’t help you the way they can.”

“No, you’re whoever you want to be, Pix. But you’re still my friend.”

Friend. Pixal felt a sudden urge to correct him, to tell him he was mistaken. “I’m not part of your team. I… I can’t be.”

“Trust me, Pix- in every sense that matters- you are one of us.”

---

“Pixal, I need my car! Now!”

The nindroid’s voice came out slightly crackly from the radio. “Your coordinates, Master Lloyd?”

“I’m somewhere around… well, you know how to find me.”

The cable he was gripping onto slowed to a stop, then quickly began to swing back down. Squeezing his eyes shut, Lloyd prayed that Pixal knew what she was doing, and let go.

Air whipped past him as he fell freely, the fall feeling both agonizingly slow and alarmingly quick at the same time, but before he had time to question what the hell he was doing, a blur of green darted out from a nearby alleyway, and Lloyd fell into his car.

He quickly pulled himself up and took over the controls. “Impeccable timing, Pix! You’re getting good at that.”

“I have to do something while you’re busy fighting crime, don’t I?”

“Speaking of which…” Lloyd cut off, gritting his teeth as he wove in between cars on the busy street, chasing after the biker. “Who is this person? Anything you can tell me about them?”

“They appear to be affiliated with the same criminal biker gang we have been having trouble with over the last few weeks. I am afraid I cannot tell you anything other than that. They have been keeping a very low profile.”

“Well, whoever they are, they’re good. I’ll keep you posted.” Gritting his teeth, he pushed on the gas and shot through the streets after the mysterious biker. They were a skilled driver, but Lloyd wasn’t lacking in that department either, and soon, he had caught up to the biker. The person’s eyes glowed an eerie red through their mask, their expression emotionless, and Lloyd forced his gaze away for a moment to examine the object in the back of his bike- presumably the stolen item. It was a red mask, with an ugly, beast-like face patterned over the top, complete with a mouth of crooked, yellowing teeth, and deep, glowering eyes. It looked like nothing more than a costume. Lloyd wondered what they could possibly want with it.

Putting on another burst of speed, he pulled in front of the biker, making them screech to a halt to avoid a collision. The two of them stared each other down, only a short stretch of road between them.

The criminal revved his engine, and suddenly, was racing towards Lloyd. Lloyd began to do the same, and just when he thought the biker was about to hit him head-on, mechanical arms extended from the bike, driving into the road, and sending the biker flying over his head. Lloyd slammed to a halt and jumped out of the car, running over to the bridge as the biker went over the edge. He yanked something near his chest, and all of a sudden, a big sheet was billowing out from his back, gray and black and red-

Lloyd’s breath caught in his throat as the parachute unfolded fully, revealing the emblem of a face that Lloyd had never thought he would see again.

No, no, no. Lloyd stumbled back from the railing, his breath hitching in his chest as he tried desperately to draw it in. This doesn’t mean anything. Perhaps they just are a fan of Garmadon, it doesn’t mean he’s here-

But it wasn’t working. His body just wasn’t listening to him, his heart beating too fast, his breath trembling and shallow, and his head-

“Lloyd!” A voice came from seemingly out of nowhere, and in his panicked state, he couldn’t, he couldn’t-

“Lloyd, it’s Pixal. What’s happened, why aren’t you responding?”

Oh. It was Pixal, on… on the radio. With trembling fingers, he reached down and switched on his mic. “...Pix?”

“Lloyd, don’t scare me like that, what’s wrong?”

“Pixal… Pixal, I don’t know…” Oh gosh, he was spiraling, spiraling hard, panic swamped his brain as images of his father flashed before his eyes, first running off with the golden weapons, then trying to kill him when the Overlord had taken over, then when he had submerged under the ocean, down, down, down with the Preeminent-

No! Lloyd’s eyes snapped open, scattering the images. He couldn’t be thinking about this now, not- not when-

Oh gosh. His father couldn’t be involved with this gang, he couldn’t. He was gone, gone for good. He missed him, so, so much, but nothing with his father was ever that simple. Something always went wrong, and Lloyd was just beginning to get over his last death, he couldn’t- couldn’t live through the pain again-

“Lloyd, Lloyd listen to me, just try to breathe-”

He could barely hear her. His legs had stopped working, and he sunk to the ground, hugging his knees to his chest, trying to remember to breathe. The last thing he needed was to pass out from lack of oxygen.

He buried his face between his knees, gulping through the sobs. Dammit, why was he like this, he hadn’t had an episode this bad since Morro-

And now he was thinking about that part of his life, one he had so desperately hoped to forget- it had been years, why was still not over that, he had gotten good at suppressing those feelings long ago, but when he got like this, he couldn’t control anything-

He hated when he got like this, it was so terrifying, he just wanted to go home, he just wanted Kai to be here, why was he always all alone-

Suddenly, firm, cool arms were wrapping around him, pulling him close. Lloyd gasped, his eyes flying open sharply.

A pair of glowing green eyes stared back at him, shadowed with fear. “Hey,” she whispered, her metallic jaw moving with the words, “I’m here now. You’re going to be okay.”

He had lost it, he was hallucinating, how was- how was she here-

“Pixal?!”

“Yeah,” her voice was quiet, rubbing her fingers across his palm. “It’s me. I’m here.”

“How?”

“I’m Samurai X, Lloyd.”

“Oh.” Vaguely, a part of his mind told him he should be more surprised by that piece of information, but he was just tired. His mind was already on overdrive, he couldn’t afford to take in anything else.

“Lloyd.” Pixal’s voice was scared, and he realized he was trembling in her grip. “Please, what has happened to you?”

“It’s- it’s…” Lloyd gasped for breath. “My dad, he- the biker, he was- he had-” and those words alone were too much. Everything was breaking, splintering apart right in front of his eyes, and he clutched onto Pixal like she was his lifeline- in a way, she was. She felt different from Kai’s warm, soft touch- harder and cooler- but sturdier and stronger, too. And right now, Lloyd could use a bit of strength.

But most of all, she was here.

“Why did you tell me?” He managed to get out. “Out of everyone, you told me first? Not Zane?”

Pixal was silent for a moment. “I know what it’s like. I mean, not exactly- I can’t feel what you are feeling right now. But… feeling emotions has been hard. Draining. You, out of all people, seem to know that. But you’re still so strong through everything. I just… you helped me to see how to heal. How to get better.” She paused, looking down at her hands. “But I guess it doesn’t always work out that way. I figured it was about time I helped you back.”

He leaned his head into her lap, examining her long, silver fingers, brushing them gently. “I like you like this. You’re pretty.”

He wasn’t looking at her face, but he could almost feel her smile. “Thank you. I worked hard to make this. I wanted to make sure… that I was better, this time. I still have some modifications to make, but…”

Lloyd winced, feeling a pang of guilt. “I’m sorry I made you show me before you were ready.”

“Lloyd,” she said firmly. “This was my choice. Not yours.” She took one hand and turned his chin so their gazes met, green on green. “I trust you. I always have.”

Lloyd felt his lip tremble. “I-”

Pixal stopped him. “It’s okay, Lloyd. You don’t have to say it. I know.”

Lloyd curled into her side and wept.

#ninjago #ninbingo #my fic #ninjago lloyd #ninjago pixal #hope you guys enjoyed! #this was really fun to write #i finished it in like three days wow look at me actually being productive for once #but yeah pixal is underrated and i needed to be sure to add her at least once into this found family event #because she's just as much a part of the team as any of them ❤

[hongism]

storge - s. mingi

➻ genre: angst, fluff, light smut ➻ rating: M ➻ word count: 15.6k ➻ pairing: mingi x fem!reader ➻ summary: Best friends do everything together, right? ➻ warnings: language, mild smut, fingering, handjobs, oral sex (explicit m, mentioned f), thigh riding, kink exploration, bad practices, learning ➻ colours of love | part one

“I have a feeling that this mild, quiet happiness will last until December. - juansen dizon”

​​​

“So, you aren’t dating him?”

You sigh at the question, the simple string of words hitting your ears and grating against them in a way that causes annoyance to bubble in your gut. Instead of responding with words of your own, you simply shake your head at the girl who lingers at your side. She’s the third girl to approach you and ask you this question in the past week. If you’re honest, it’s starting to frustrate you to a point where you’re close to making a public announcement about your nonexistent love life so that no one would disturb you again.

With that being said, your best friend Mingi loves the constant barrage of questions coming your way. Each time you report back to him about which person asked you the same exact question that day, he gets giddier and giddier. You thought university was supposed to be a step up from the typical high school antics. Yet, you’ve been proven wrong day in, day out thanks to the overwhelming amount of love that girls seem to have for your best friend.

“No, we’re just friends. Best friends.”

“Oh, amazing! Could you please mention me or something to him then?”

“Why don’t you do it yourself? I’m sure he’d appreciate it a lot more.”

If only it were so easy to get rid of them that way. You use the same response on every person that comes your way, and none of them seem to be able to grasp the underlying message you’re sending their way. The “please get the fuck away from me, I just want to make it through one class without being asked about my relationship status with my best friend” always flies over their heads, but over time you’ve come to understand it. The whole notion of a girl being close friends with a guy is a concept that people tend to struggle with, apparently. So even though both you and Mingi find it quite ordinary, the people observing from the outside jump to conclusions before considering what your relationship actually is. (He calls it one of the perks of being friends with him, but you only see it as a detriment instead).

It isn’t a surprise that when you approach your friend less than an hour later, the first thing that he comments on is the expression on your face, no doubt one of disdain or exhaustion.

“Long day already?” He laughs as you drop your bag on the floor and sit in the seat across from him. His smile only stretches further when you glare at him from across the table. “How many today?” You scoff at his presumptive question, and even though he’s correct, you don’t want to give him the pleasure of being right quite yet.

“Remember the cute guy from our psychology class?”

Mingi rolls his eyes at the question, shaking his head ever so slightly. You silently wonder if he’s merely disappointed that you didn’t mention any people thirsting after him.

“He’s only cute to you. You have terrible taste in men.” He dodges the attack you send his way, smoothly moving out of the way of your arms reach, and sticks his tongue out at you. “I’m better looking than him though, right?”

“No!” You protest as you try to extend your hand further to actually make contact this time, but your efforts fail thanks to the unfortunate length of your arms. Mingi laughs at your struggles for a moment before leaning closer to let you smack his shoulder. You take the bait, grateful to have the opportunity now before he takes it away from you later.

“Well, are you gonna do anything about it or just let it sit as you always do?”

You fall back against the chair, fingers drumming against the table as you look up at Mingi with pursed lips.

“I know what that means.”

“I’m going to do som—”

“No, you’re not. You’re going to watch him from afar like you always do and secretly pine after him in the desperate hopes that he might notice you or talk to you at some point without putting in any effort into making an actual move yourself.”

“Okay, wow, fine.”

“I’m only speaking the truth.”

“I don’t have people lining up left and right for me. I don’t have it as easy as you do, so that’s not fair.”

“Whoever said I have it easy?”

“People come to me every damn day asking for your number and if I can tell you about them!”

Mingi cocks his head to the side, blinking at you with his wide eyes for a moment. The sudden silence catches you off guard; Mingi rarely sits still without making some sort of ruckus, leaving you to be the calmer, more level-headed one. In all honesty, you expected him to laugh and be a little smug about the attention. You blink back at him, lips still parted slightly.

“Anyways…” You bend down to grab something out of your backpack, but Mingi stops you with what he says next.

“Why won’t you initiate for once?”

You hesitate, glancing at Mingi from the corner of your eye.

“Why won’t you actually go on a date with one of these people?” You counter. You try to fight the embarrassment that creeps up your neck, but it’s too late, and the heat floods your cheeks before you can duck your head again. Mingi is fully aware of why you can’t initiate. Still, you’ve always refused to admit it, even though he’s in the exact same position.

“None of them have really piqued my interest, I guess.” He shrugs.

“That’s shallow.”

“Well, it’s better than leading them on, isn’t it?” Mingi asks, and you have to agree with him. You would certainly rather have someone be upfront about their feelings instead of leading the other on. After a few moments of silence, he continues,

“Anyways, you didn’t answer the question. Why won’t you just initiate?”

The heat on your cheeks deepens even though you were expecting the question. You try to duck your head to keep Mingi from seeing your embarrassment, and yet he keeps pressing his chin forward, so you have no chance to hide your face.

“I can’t,” you hiss through your teeth.

“Why not?”

“I’m scared to initiate things since I’ve never had experience with anything that falls in that spectrum. You know that.”

Admitting it out loud provides zero relief from the anxiety pumping through your veins at the moment. Still, the slight frown that creeps onto Mingi’s face sends you further into a frenzy. You tug a notebook out of your bag, slamming it down onto the desk before you, causing some of the other students within the library to send pointed glares your way.

“Well, I guess you’ll have to learn quickly then?” Mingi suggests, adding a slight shrug to accentuate his words.

“Is it that easy though?” You peer at Mingi with wide eyes for a moment before shaking your head. “Why am I asking you? You don’t know anything either.”

Mingi does nothing to defend himself, instead offering a slight shrug in response. You glance down at your notebook and thumb through the pages until you reach a blank one. Mingi’s hand hits the page. You jerk your head up to look him in the eye, and a hint of playfulness lingers behind his brown eyes, and you narrow your eyes immediately. You know that look, years of friendship have taught you that it can only mean one thing.

Mingi has an idea.

And when Mingi has an idea, you never end up liking it much.

Nothing against your best friend or anything, but he isn’t renowned for coming up with the smartest ideas. He grins at you, gums flashing as he exposes his teeth, and you frown at his enthusiasm.

“No,” you say preemptively, ready to shoot down whatever idea Mingi has.

“I haven’t even said anything yet!”

“It doesn’t matter. My answer is no.”

“Why?”

“I know whatever idea you have is a bad one.”

“That’s not true.”

“Name the last good idea you had.”

“Automatic page-turners so you don’t have to turn the page yourself.”

“That’s not — Mingi, no. How hard is it to turn a page?”

“Harder than you think.”

“It’s not that hard, dumbass.”

A brief moment of silence then— “That’s what she said, ha.”

“You aren’t funny.”

“You love me.”

“I’m regretting everything now.”

“Look, Y/N, listen for two minutes. That’s all I as—”

“Your time starts now. 120, 119, 118, 117—”

“Okay, chill! Damn, no need to be a bitch about it.”

You sigh, propping your elbows up onto the table and staring forward at Mingi with little interest.

“Alright, so I have an idea. Don’t say no yet, just hear me out for a minute. You could… you know, try it out on me.”

“Excuse me?” You squint, eyes meeting Mingi’s brown ones, and he dodges eye contact in favor of looking at the table.

“Since you’re scared to initiate things, you could test it out on me.”

“Mingi, you don’t have any experience either. This guy has probably has had twenty girlfriends in his lifetime and a hundred times more experience than both of us combined.”

“A hundred times zero is zero.”

“Mingi.”

“Hear me out. Th-there’s this girl. I, uh, I’ve had my eye on her for a while… but I can’t initiate anything. I-I don’t have any experience either so that’s holding me back from doing anything. So, why not… why not just learn together?” Your friend glances up at you, eyes darting away as soon as he meets your eyes and clears his throat.

You let the silence settle and mull over the suggestion. You do everything with him, and you’ve done that since you were in middle school. The list of firsts you’ve had with him is not that long, and yet the offer of experiencing more firsts with him… You examine your friend’s face, putting a bit too much effort into analyzing his features. He isn’t bad looking — not in the slightest — and there’s a good reason why so many girls are chasing after him.

Tall? Check.

Sweet? Check.

Funny? Check.

Broad shoulders, large hands that dwarf yours, and thighs that you’ve definitely thought about a hell of a lot more than a best friend ought to think about? Check, check, and check.

Besides, you trust him, and he’s never done anything particularly shady (except for that one time when he told your high school sophomore year crush that you thought his ass was hot). You honestly trust him with your life. What’s the harm in trusting him with this too?

He’s still trying to avoid looking in your direction. A slight redness has risen to his cheeks, and he seems more unsure about the idea than you are, even though he’s the one who suggested it.

There's one glaring issue that's causing red lights of warning to go off in your mind. You love Mingi, there's no doubt about that, and he's your closest friend for a reason. That doesn't include sexual attraction, however, and despite thinking about his looks (and thighs), you made an executive decision a few years ago that meant you would never go after your friend with sexual intent in mind.

His soft-spoken suggestion is hesitant yet convincing, and you blatantly ignore the warning signs in favor of the pull of Mingi's words.

"I mean... why not give a try?" You shrug in attempts to hide the embarrassment beginning to creep up your neck.

Mingi freezes in place. A moment of silence passes between you, your discomfort grows exponentially, and you regret saying the words now. Then Mingi snaps his chin up, dark eyes searing holes into your own.

"Really?" He asks, lip trembling with the syllables.

"Yes?" You answer. You curse yourself for pushing the questioning lilt to your tone, chin tilting to the side slightly.

"Are you being serious about this though?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you really… you know, wanna… test things out with me?"

"That's why I said yes, Mingi."

Your legs begin to shake under the table, the nerves in your gut spreading throughout your entire body. If Mingi suggested it, why is he so hesitant all of a sudden?

"Were you expecting me to say no?"

"I don't—I have no idea what I was expecting to be honest." Mingi shifts in his seat, and his hands leave the edge of the table to most likely curl them into tight fists in his lap as he usually does whenever struck with nerves. You don't respond right away, instead of blinking at your best friend with a look of mild wonder.

"Um, so… what do we—when do we—you know?"

"Start?"

"I guess… yes?" You aren't used to this lingering awkwardness between you and Mingi. Typically, your friendship is all sunshine and butterflies with zero awkwardness or tension. Hell, any arguments the two of you have are usually based on something stupid and trivial, and it's been that way for as long as you can remember. Even after the incident where Mingi told the guy you liked that you thought he had a nice ass, you were more embarrassed to be around the guy than you were angry with Mingi for letting that nugget of information slip.

Just the prospect of engaging in physical affection and shit like that causes too much panic and awkward tension for comfort. Perhaps it's another red flag or warning sign indicating that this is a bad idea, but you continue to push that thought further to the back of your mind until it doesn't bother you anymore.

"Wh-whenever we want, I guess? I mean, whenever you want. That's probably the best idea."

"Well, school comes first. I have two projects coming up, as well as a few tests because midterms are on their way, and I refuse to fall behind at this point. I have to make sure I maintain a good GPA in order to get into my fall classes, and I've heard that they have no mercy once you're a sophomore, so I need to make sure everything goes smoothly from this point onward so that—"

"Ah, Y/N, I get it! School first! It's okay!" Mingi's hands come up again, held up in defense over his chest as he urges you to stop your rant. You inhale deeply in efforts to catch your breath, the lack of air during your rant causing you to feel lightheaded.

"W-We don't have to start right away. Take it slow at first? If you think that's best…" Mingi trails off and looks away from you, a redness creeping up his cheeks again. You shake your head at him even though he cannot see the action.

"I don't know what's best," you mumble, tugging the notebook that lies forgotten on the table closer to you. The odds of you getting any work done at this rate are minimal, especially since you know you will be thinking of whatever this arrangement entails for the next few days.

"A-Are you leaving?" Mingi jerks his head back in your direction as he notices your movements, and you shake your head a few times.

"I was going to suggest we head to the coffee shop. I'd, uh, I would rather discuss this there instead of the public library."

"Oh, yeah, uh, that's a good idea. Yeah, let's do that. The usual one?"

"Yes, dimwit, I was also assuming we would walk over there together as we usually do." Your use of the playful nickname alleviates a bit of the tension residing in the air, and Mingi breaks into a gummy smile at the sound of it. You continue to pull your unused belongings together and shove them into your backpack again, Mingi doing the same across from you.

He's first to stand, which would generally mean that you would have to jog to catch up with him and his long legs, but instead of leaving right away, as usual, he turns the corner of the table and joins you where you're still sitting.

You blink up at him with wide eyes, hand frozen on the strap of your bag. Mingi doesn't say a word before stooping down and snatching your bag before you have the chance to stop him. You release a noise of indignation that sounds a bit too much like a dog's yelp for your liking. Mingi doesn't give you any time to breathe, because he next grabs hold of your left hand that's still outstretched in the air for your backpack.

"Mingi," you hiss after a moment. Your gaze drifts between the awkward clasp of your hand in his and the man's cheeky grin above you.

"I got your backpack, don't worry. And your hand." He sends a wink your way, and lunch nearly makes an unwelcome appearance in your mouth again. Before you can retort back, Mingi gently tugs you to your feet and pulls you into step with him as he walks out of the library.

People are sending the two of you looks. Not the kind of looks you are used to getting, but looks. The ever so typical "ugh can they just get together already" and "everyone knows it but them" looks are no longer present. No, this time it’s looks of "oh is it finally happening?", "are they finally together?" and "it's about damn time" that have you bristling. Again, your brain pushes the thought that this may be a bad idea to the forefront of your mind, but Mingi's grip tightens ever so slightly and pushes that thought away.

You glance down at your joined hands as Mingi pulls you along, expecting to feel some sort of warmth blooming in your chest, and yet nothing rises. You shift your fingers in his grasp and slip your fingers between his, a childlike wonder to your gaze, and Mingi looks back at you when you stop walking. He sees your fixation on your joined hands and allows quiet to hang for a moment before breaking your reverie.

"Y/N, is everything okay?" He asks as he bends a bit to look you in the eye.

"It's nothing," you mumble back.

"We've held hands before, you know? This isn't anything new."

"I know…" you trail off, train of thought failing to be vocalized. It feels different, doesn't it? Is it because there is a different sort of intention behind it now? Or am I reading too far into things already?

"Hey, you dolt, you're thinking too hard again."

"Sorry." You shake your head to recover from the impending thoughts and smile up at Mingi. He grins back at you, gums flashing, then squeezes your hand tighter before continuing to lead the way to your usual cafe.

"S-So…this girl, um, do I know her or...?"

"Or what?" Mingi doesn't spare you a look, but his grip on your hand loosens, fingers slipping out of yours, and you wonder if you've said something wrong.

"I mean, is she someone who has come to me asking for every detail of your life or not?"

"N-No, she's not. She, uh, she doesn't seem interested in me at all."

"Would I recognize her if I saw her?"

"Maybe? Uh, she's in our history class. Hyerin. Min Hyerin?"

You purse your lips, shaking your head back and forth even though Mingi can't see you. The name doesn't ring any bells, although you try your best to avoid talking to your classmates. Mingi is the social one between the two of you, having enough extroverted energy to carry the both of you through social interactions and such. He may know this girl well, but you surely don’t.

"You know the guy in psychology yet?"

"What?"

"Do you know his name, you dolt?"

"O-Oh, uh, no? I haven't talked to him at all. I'm too—"

"Nervous, I know."

"That's not all there is, Mingi." You stop in your tracks, eyes bearing holes into your best friend's back. The walls of defense come up immediately, and you cross your arms over your chest. Mingi keeps walking for a moment before he realizes that you are no longer by his side. He glances back at you. A sigh passes through his lips when he reads the frown on your lips.

"Y/N."

"Mingi."

"Y/N."

"Mingi."

"Is this about the anxiety thing?"

You roll your eyes at the question, arms falling away from your chest. Part of you wants to argue and defend yourself, but the constriction in your chest prevents words from coming out. Instead, you stare at the ground, gnawing on your lower lip with a bit too much pressure. Mingi notices the expression painting your features and walks closer to you. He takes hold of your left hand, fingers interlocking yours, and tugs you closer to his side. Whether he knows that you don't really want to talk about it or that he doesn't want to address the topic either, you'll never know, but he starts walking again with you in tow.

You frown at your joined hands again, but the tightness in your chest begins to alleviate as you continue to walk, and for a moment, you think that the anxiety bubbling in your gut will go away. However, that thought is quickly dispelled because the longer Mingi holds your hand, the more you notice the glances and stares of strangers on you, on your joined hands, on the two backpacks Mingi carries. It's another moment of questioning yourself, wondering if you're making the right decision or a terrible mistake, but Mingi doesn't give you much time to dwell on those thoughts because his fast walking gets you to your usual hangout in less than five minutes.

"Can you order for us? I need to go to the bathroom." He asks as soon as the two of you step through the door. A typical gummy smile plays at his lips, one you can't say no to, so you shoo him off, watching as he drops your bags at a booth before he dashes for the bathroom. A sigh escapes your lips, and you walk up to the counter.

"Hi Y/N," the barista behind the counter greets, hitting you with a smile.

"Hi Yeosang, how are you?"

"Eh, as good as I can be. I work a double today."

"Hey, you're the one who chose this. You could've had the same psychology class as us, but you said you wanted a full day off school so you could work." You reach across the counter and poke at Yeosang's shoulder. He laughs at your childish behavior.

"Fair point, okay. I'm assuming you want the usual, by the way?"

"Of course. You know Mingi. He's a creature of habit, not very open to new things."

"Yeah, yeah, but you're the same way," Yeosang teases as he punches in your order on the register. You purse your lips. Should I tell him about the deal with Mingi? No, he wouldn't approve. He'd think it's stupid, wouldn't he?

"Y/N?" You lift your chin and look at Yeosang in the eye, startled by his sudden utterance of your name. "I asked you a question but you seemed to be off in la-la land."

"Oh, sorry. I—whatever. What's the question?"

"When are you actually gonna start working here with me?" Yeosang asks (again), head tilted to the side and bright eyes wide.

"If you want to see me more, all you have to do is ask."

"Pfft, you think I want to see your lazy ass more? Seeing you more means seeing Mingi more, and that's not a joint package I'm the biggest fan of."

"You know you love him," you chastise as you pass your credit card over to him.

"Oh, whatever, he's not all that great. But anyway, I'm asking because of money. You said you were gonna get a job last semester but never did."

"I know, I know. I just—the school has been my focus more than anything else." You glance over at the bathrooms where Mingi is on his way out. Yeosang follows your line of sight to land on the redhead. A small scoff passes through his parted lips.

"Yea, school." The dig is a typical one from Yeosang, he isn't shy about sharing his opinions, and that's something you've grown used to in the time you've known him. Yet it stings this time, perhaps because there are new intentions behind your relationship with Mingi, or it's the doubt still nagging at the edges of your thoughts.

"Be nice, Yeo. That's your roommate, so you're the one who gets to go home to an angry Mingi, not me." Yeosang merely rolls his eyes in response and passes your credit card back to you. A soft smile lands on his lips a moment later though, eyes still following Mingi as he settles into the booth.

"Whatever, I know he's the best roommate I could've asked for or something."

"Oh, by the way, we need to talk about something later. Uh, I'll try to catch you whenever Mingi and I are done with homework." You leave the counter before Yeosang has a chance to question you, fleeing his inquisitive stare and the feeling of anxiety in your gut. It's a last-minute decision on your part, a spur of the moment panic that surges through your gut and makes you decide to confess the deal you have with Mingi, which you regret almost immediately.

You go to join Mingi at the table, but when you sit down, you can see Yeosang glaring at you from across the small coffee shop, no doubt curious about what you desire to talk about, but you simply make a little 'x' with your fingers and shake your head.

"Okay, so…are we needing to make some ground rules or something?" You ask as you redirect your focus to Mingi. He snaps his gaze to you, turning away from the window on his right.

"Uh, I guess we should? I don't know." Mingi brings a finger to his mouth and catches the fingernail between his teeth.

"Okay...what's off-limits for you?"

"Off-limits? I don't know. Should there be those things?"

"Don't we need to have some sort of boundaries?"

"I was just gonna go with the flow honestly." Mingi shrugs and leans back against the cushion of the booth. Your eyes dart over to the counter where Yeosang is and find his gaze tracking you again. You curse under your breath, reach for your backpack, and pull out a notebook so that you at least look somewhat busy. Yeosang is undoubtedly suspicious already, especially considering the fact that you told him you had something you wanted to talk about, and you can't keep your mind from drifting to the thought that Yeosang knows precisely what's going on by now. Mingi watches your hasty movements with little interest but pulls out his own notebook as well.

"Even if we just go with the flow, shouldn't we discuss it?"

"Y/N, that's not what going with the flow means."

"I feel like we need boundaries," you claim.

You're avoiding Mingi's gaze now, and it's more than obvious, especially when he tries to make eye contact, and you jerk your head to the side to dodge it.

"Okay, give me an example."

"No sex," you spit out, cheeks flushing as soon as you say it. Mingi's eyes widen at the suddenness of your words and the volume, and you realize you might have said the words a bit too loud. Then, Mingi's cheeks turn red as well, almost matching the color of his hair.

"Y-Yea, okay, we can—look, we're just gonna take that off the table now, yea? Yea. We don't have to—ew."

"Ew?" You reiterate.

"I just imagined having sex with you."

"Mingi!"

"I'm not saying it would be bad, I'm ju—"

"Gross, I don't wanna know!"

"You're the one who brought it up!"

"I didn't mean for you to tell me about your sex fantasies."

"Oh my god, that's not what I was doing."

"Y/N!" Yeosang's voice interrupts your bickering, his bright tone sends across the cafe, and you instinctively sit up straighter. You excuse yourself from the table without a word.

"What the hell did you do?" Yeosang asks as soon as you get close to the counter. You reach for the coffees in front of you, but Yeosang pulls them out of your grasp at the last second. "Answer the damn question."

"I didn't do anything," you retort as you grab for the drinks again.

"Bullshit. I'm calling bullshit. You fucking yelled 'no sex.'"

Your heart plummets, and you can almost feel the sensation of it dropping. Eyes wide, you stare at Yeosang's blank expression. "So, what the fuck did you do?" Even having known Yeosang for quite a few years now, you still get scared of him at times. This is most definitely one of those times because even though his face is blank, there is an overwhelming level of something in his eyes.

"Can we talk about this later?" You hiss out, cheeks flushed and burning at this point. Yeosang refuses to let up though.

"You're about to make a bad decision, aren't you?" As soon as he voices his question, you realize precisely what you saw in his eyes.

Concern. He's worried about you yet again.

"I swear Y/N, are you letting Mingi drag you to another party? Do you not remember what happened last time?"

"No, I'm not," you mutter back. "Stop worrying so much. This isn’t about a party."

"Y/N." There's a hint of warning in Yeosang's tone, and doubt catches you in that moment of weakness. "I can't bail you out of everything. Especially when it comes to something between you and Mingi."

"There's nothing there!" You spit, eyes flashing anger at the accusation, and Yeosang instinctively takes a step back. "Fucking lecture me later, Yeo, I don't have time for this." You snatch the drinks off the counter and head back to the table where Mingi waits. Either your anger is radiating off you in waves, or Mingi watched your interaction with Yeosang at the counter. As soon as you take a seat, he pipes up with a question.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Were you two arguing?"

"No, no, it was nothing." You ignore the persistent stare that Mingi sends your way by sipping your coffee.

"Why does Yeosang look like you’ve just kicked his puppy then?" You hesitate, drink halfway back to the table, and glance over to the counter again. Yeosang isn't there anymore, however, empty space there instead. You redirect your focus to Mingi, tongue dragging across your front teeth.

"We can't let him know about this."

"What?"

"We can't let him know what we're doing," you reiterate, hand coming down on the table with a bit too much force.

"O-oh, yea, I wasn't planning on it?"

"I'm gonna talk to him about some of it but not all."

"What are you even saying, Y/N? I'm not following." Mingi drums his nails against the table, head tilted as he watches you struggle to find the words.

"I don't know! Just ignore me, I don't know what I'm trying to say."

"Well," Mingi starts, taking a deep inhale of air. "Do you wanna go to my apartment?"

"What?"

"Don't make it weird, Y/N, for fuck's sake!"

"I'm not making it weird!"

"God, you're being so awkward about this. No wonder you've never had a boyfriend!"

"I'm offended, Mingi."

"Good."

You scoff at his response. "How am I supposed to respond? I didn't even hear you clearly the first time."

"I asked if you want to go to my apartment," Mingi says again, slowing his words so that you can clearly hear them.

"Yea, that's fine. I'm fine with that." You glance over to where Yeosang is again.

"Why are you worrying so much about Yeosang right now? He has nothing to do with this, Y/N." You reel and face Mingi again, catching his brown eyes on yours.

"He wouldn't approve of this," you mutter, swirling your coffee around in its cup. Mingi narrows his eyes.

"You just said that he doesn't have to know."

"He's our friend, Mingi, and your roommate. He is going to find out eventually."

"You're the one who agreed, Y/N. I put up the offer, and you accepted it. You didn't have to, and we can still call it off if you've changed your mind." Mingi shrugs, much more nonchalant about this whole matter than you are.

"It's not that. I would just rather… I don't know. I would rather not have him witness it."

"So, you would rather have your roommate witness it?"

"We aren't friends with my roommate; however, we are friends with Yeosang."

"Okay, I see your point," Mingi relents, putting his arms up in defense. "I raise a counterpoint. Hear me out?"

"Go ahead, go ahead." You sit back and rest against the booth.

"Yeosang works late, remember? Full days on Tuesdays and Thursdays, until closing. Then he has to clean the cafe before coming back to the apartment. So that means he wouldn't get back until past eleven." Mingi draws invisible lines across the table with his finger. You follow the movements with your eyes, listening to Mingi's plan carefully.

"So…?" You prod in the hopes that Mingi will elaborate more.

"So, Yeosang is used to seeing you at the apartment without there being some underlying intention behind it. Even if we decide to make this agreement a reality, he doesn't have to know because we could limit ourselves to learning things when he isn't around. And when he does show up, we can just chill and do the things we usually do whenever Yeosang's around."

Mingi is making too much sense. Far too much sense, and he's using far bigger words than are usually in his vocabulary. That is a rather significant concern; however, you can't find any flaws in his argument, no matter how hard you try. And perhaps that's the purpose of Mingi's case and what his true intentions are, to be able to convince you with this, and you hate to admit that it's working.

It's your turn to drum your fingers against the table.

"Well then," you start, avoiding Mingi's gaze by looking at the table. "I guess…we ought to get started then?" You don't intend for it to end in a question, yet it does. Mingi cocks his head to the side, glancing over you with a slight bit of shock across his features as though he wasn't expecting you to agree, which is strange in your mind. You pack your notebook back into your backpack without another word, collecting your things and getting ready to head out. Mingi fumbles to catch up with your pace.

"O-Oh, you wanna go now?"

"You were the one who suggested it?" You peer at Mingi now, head tilted in question.

"I didn't expect you to agree so quickly, that's all." Mingi scratches the back of his neck. A light flush hits his cheeks. "Considering all your…prior complaints about it, that is."

"I'm trying to make sure this isn't awkward, okay?"

"It isn't awkward, it's just—well, it's weird, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" You hesitate, halfway out of the booth, and look back at Mingi again.

"I mean, yea, we've done a lot of things during our friendship. We grew up alongside each other and have done pretty much everything together. Yet, it doesn't feel like this was something either of us considered."

"And now that we're about to do it, it feels odd."

"Yea, exactly. I think you're overthinking the whole situation though. We're doing the same things we've always done: going to cafes, the movies, the park, hanging out at my apartment, those sorts of things. That's nothing new for us."

You sigh and slide out of the booth, collecting your things and not looking back at Mingi when you utter your next words,

"That's not what I'm scared of."

Mingi follows quickly and falls into step beside you a moment later. You feel the heat of his gaze on you but elect not to say anything. He waits though, following you out the door and back into the cold February air.

"I'm scared of things changing between us," you admit once the door snaps shut behind you, as though that will provide you with some semblance of security. Mingi opens his mouth, but you already know what he is going to ask, so you interrupt him. "I like the way things are between us. We're best friends, and I don't want some stupid desires to get in the way of our friendship." Mingi moves in front of you and reaches down between the two of you to grab hold of one of your hands.

"We're best friends. This won't change anything between us because we have been friends for this long without doing these kinds of things. Even when it's all said and done, we will still be friends, and nothing will be different." Mingi pulls you to his side, fingers slotting between yours, and leads the way down the sidewalk. “Let’s just… do this as though it’s just like anything else we would do together.”

You want to point out that this is different: there is a fine line between a normal friendship and whatever this game you’re playing. You can’t bring yourself to voice the concerns, however, so you keep your lips pressed together. Considering how much you’ve complained already, you’re sure that Mingi would just be annoyed if you said anything else. So you stay quiet, fingers squeezing tight around Mingi’s, and fall into step with him. It’s a comfortable feeling, aside from Mingi’s silence, which is a thing you aren’t used to. Still, it gives you time to just bask in the last shreds of normality between the two of you.

Then your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you let go of Mingi’s hand to pull it out.

Yeosang: if you get your sorry ass stuck at another party, I’m not bailing you out

Yeosang: deadass

Yeosang: you’re on your own

You huff as you read the messages, a small pool of annoyance bubbling in your gut. The good and right thing to do would be to respond and reassure Yeosang that it’s not that serious, not even close to what happened last time.

You do the opposite. Ignoring the messages, refusing to respond, and putting the phone back in your pocket to retake Mingi’s hand without saying a word.

“Hey, Mingi, I have a question.”

Mingi glances down at you, no doubt assuming that you’re going to ask something about the deal again, and you rush to clarify.

“How is it possible that none of the people who have been into you have piqued your interest? Just… statistics wise, I don’t understand how that’s possible. Surely at least one has caught your eye.” Mingi’s gaze drifts again, and he snaps his chin away from you before you can see the expression on his face.

“No. None of them have. I don’t know what to tell you. Just... I haven’t been interested in any of them. Sure, some of them are pretty, or have nice personalities, or simply would be a good girlfriend, but none of them are—” Mingi cuts himself off, and you hear the sharp inhale of breath he takes next. You think he’s going to continue speaking for a moment, but instead, he shifts the topic over to you. “I could ask you the same question, Y/N. There are plenty of guys who have liked you, plenty who probably do right now, but you never do anything about it.”

“Hm well, that’s different.”

“How so?”

“I don’t see it. I mean, you get people who approach you directly and an endless amount of girls who come to me because of you, but that doesn’t happen to me. So I never know if someone likes me, or… I have my eyes set on someone else, so I don’t think about it.”

“You never thought that I might be the same?” Mingi’s question shouldn’t catch you off-guard, but it manages to do so anyway. To be honest, you have never considered it. “I’ve liked people in the past, and when I like someone, it’s like no one else exists. That’s why I’ve never focused on the girls who approach you or me.”

In your eyes, Mingi has always been this single free-spirited kind of person. Never talked about girls or boys, never showed interest in either, and never talked about having feelings for anyone. You always chalked him up to be the type to not be interested in relationships, but it seems you were wrong about that.

“So you… you do want a relationship?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Well, you know, some people are aromantic or don’t get that sort of attraction towards others, so they aren’t really interested in relationships. Some just aren’t into that kind of commitment, some just want to fuck and go. It’s different for everyone, and I just… I assumed that—you know?”

Mingi breaks into laughter as you stammer your way through the words. “I thought you knew me better than that, Y/N.”

“We don’t talk about this sort of stuff, Mingi. What do you expect? I can’t read your mind either, so I don’t know what to tell you!” You barely even notice where you are when Mingi releases your hand and pulls a door open. You have to shake your head and actually take in your surroundings, seeing Mingi’s apartment building before you. He waits for you to step through the door without saying anything. “Sorry, zoned out.”

“Obviously,” Mingi laughs under his breath. You duck into the building, warm air smacking you in the face, and you turn your head to avoid the onslaught of warmth. You don’t wait for Mingi to lead the way up to his apartment, you already know where it is. “Hey, remember that Yeosang gets stingy about liquids in the apartment! Try not to spill your coffee this time!”

“It was your fault last time, I don’t see why you’re blaming me!” You call out over your shoulder as you quickly jog up the stairs.

“You kicked me!”

“And you retaliated by throwing a pillow at me! Not my fault it hit the coffee cup.” Something hits the back of your thigh, right below the curve of your butt, and you spin to face Mingi. He cackles at the shock across your face. “Did you just—you did not!”

“Didn’t what?” Mingi laughs, stepping past you on the stairs and continuing up without you. “I didn’t do anything inappropriate.” You scoff and hurry to chase after him.

“You hit my ass!”

“No, I hit your thigh. There’s not much ass to hit anyways.” Mingi sends a grin your way. You can’t do anything except gape back at him, mouth hanging open as he simply laughs and continues up the stairs.

“I’m offended, Mingi. Not much ass? Why are you even looking?”

“Not looking at much, to be honest.”

“Shut up, Mingi!” If you didn’t like your coffee so much, you would consider dumping it all over Mingi in retaliation. Instead, you’re going to have to find another way to get back at him because no way in hell are you going to let him get away with talking shit about your ass, no matter how flat it may be. “You’re equally as flat, if not more.”

“It’s different for guys though.”

You roll your eyes back at the comment. “Don’t be shallow.”

“What’s the saying? Different strokes for different folks? Some people like boobs, some like butts.”

“And some like personality and other non-physical assets.” You can almost hear the roll of Mingi’s eyes even though he’s in front of you, but he doesn’t add any more salt to the wound. Thank goodness for that too, because you’re nearing his apartment on the third floor. The jingle of keys distracts you from your thoughts. Mingi fiddles with his keys, and you watch on with little interest as he unlocks the door to his apartment. You push your way in first once he opens it though, slipping past him to get inside. Sipping at your coffee, you turn to look at Mingi as he steps through the door as well.

“Why don’t you put your coffee in the kitchen this time? Just in case you decide to kick me again.”

“You mean, in case you throw pillows again? I can’t recall if Yeosang was more upset about the coffee on the carpet or the rip in the pillow.”

“Definitely the carpet. He hates stains.”

“He hates tears and rips more though.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Yes, he does. Have you seen how upset he gets about the dish towels at work?”

“Okay, but have you lived with him? No. Trust me. Stains are his biggest pet peeve.” You shake your head a little bit but decide not to argue with Mingi about it. Still, You listen to his advice and give your coffee one last sip before setting it on the kitchen counter. You hear quite a bit of movement behind you, and you assume that it’s just Mingi bustling about with his belongings. Giving your drink one last quick sip, you turn away from the counter.

Then, the breath is knocked out of you, a sharp force smacks you in the chest, and you gasp in surprise as some tall figure traps you against the counter without warning. You can do nothing except blink at the chest before you, fingers gripping the marble counter that digs into the flesh of your back.

“M-Mingi?” You stammer. You don’t dare look up, your heart descending into shambles at this point (mostly out of shock, yes, that’s precisely what it is, nothing else). “Wh-What are you—what are you doing?”

“Trying something,” Mingi mutters, voice much lower than you anticipated. You nearly choke on your breath. Your fingers grip the counter tighter as Mingi looks down at you. “Hm, interesting.” He steps back, and you inhale a gasp of air now that there is more space between the two of you. You press a hand to your chest in attempts to quell the frantic racing of your weak and fragile heart. Mingi crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes stay on you, and you don’t have a chance to catch your breath.

“In-Interesting?”

Mingi leans forward, and you instinctively lean back at the same time. There’s nowhere for you to go though, you’re still stuck against the counter, and your back bends painfully against the granite.

“Are… are we starting no-now?” You whisper, eyes glued to Mingi’s. His face presses closer to yours. Breath hot across your face, Mingi shifts his gaze so that he’s looking over your features. His arms fall to the counter, entirely trapping you now, one arm on either side of your body, and you forget how to breathe for a moment.

"Do you want us to start now?"

Mingi doesn't look you in the eye; instead, he keeps glancing over your features and following your nose's curve down to your lips. His gaze lingers there. He presses forward a little more, and one of his thighs slips between your legs with ease. Your lips part as you gasp a little, the pressure of his thigh pressing against your inner thighs eliciting a spike in your heart rate.

"Is it working?" Mingi asks after a moment. You can do nothing except exhale shakily as you look him in the eye, trying not to move otherwise for fear of brushing against his thigh again. His stupid fucking thigh that's wedged between your legs. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Is what working?" You hiss out between gritted teeth. Even though you're trying to seem upset, you're confident that your cheeks are the color of tomatoes.

"Can I… can I-I kiss you?" Mingi sounds surprisingly less confident all the sudden, as though the prospect of kissing you is dangerous, even though his thigh resides between your legs.

"Y-yea. Go for it." You grip the counter behind you a bit tighter. Mingi hesitates a moment then slowly leans in to close the gap between you two. Squeezing your eyes shut, you wait for the hard force of his lips hitting yours. It's soft, however, like a pillow against your lips. You don't move, instead of letting Mingi test the waters first. It takes a moment, but suddenly you have the confidence to. You use your weight against the counter to push forward, moving your lips against his with more force. Mingi matches the strength and pushes against you. His thigh involuntarily presses further between your thigh. You gasp into the kiss, clenching around his leg as it brushes your clit, and your hands fly from the counter to Mingi's arms. Mingi pulls back to glance down at your face, which is now surely gleaming with sweat because you can feel the heat radiating off your cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

As though by instinct, his arms slide closer to your hips. The pads of his fingers barely brush your skin, where the hem of your t-shirt has ridden up. You bite down hard on your tongue. He has a slight flush to his cheeks now that you really look at him, the redness tints his nose and ears, and you can see the slight stutter of his chest as he tries to catch his breath as well. He doesn't wait for a response to his question.

"I wa-want to kiss you again." His tone is quiet, too quiet for it to affect you the way it does, but there's a tightening in your gut as you hear the words. Instead of answering with words, you shift your hands to the collar of Mingi's shirt and pull him closer to you.

"Kiss me then," you mutter. Your breath is hot on his lips, and the action of pulling him to you causes an almost visceral reaction to washing over Mingi. A high-pitched whine passes through him. It startles both of you. Mingi's blush intensifies, and he ducks his head to hide the embarrassment. You don't give him a chance to hide for long, reaching up to push his chin back in your direction, then press your lips to his once more. Mingi sighs into the kiss. He slides his hands closer to you, taking hold of your hips. His fingers are hot against your skin, and you relish in the sensation as you press yourself further against Mingi.

He doesn't let you pull back for air until he's almost running out of it. Even so, he only gives the two of you a few moments to catch your breath. Whatever you were expecting from your first kiss just went out the window because you had no idea this is what it would be, nor did you think you would be sharing it with Mingi. Yeosang’s concern appears in the back of your mind again. The blaring sirens in your ears ring in warning as you drag your gaze over Mingi’s lips. You ignore all warning signals as you dip in for more.

Something tells you that you’re going to regret this.

⁂    ⁂    ⁂

If someone had told you that a month ago you would make a deal with your childhood best friend and that deal would entail making out and sexual explorations, you would have laughed in their face.

Mingi? You really think I would even think about him like that?

Yes, well, here you are a month later in his kitchen yet again (how many times this week?). His lips are on yours. You will say that Mingi has gotten a lot more confident with his kissing in only a month, which is quite impressive in and of itself. He’s also gotten more confident in other departments, wandering hands becoming more frequent, whereas you can barely stave off the embarrassment of kissing him. One thing he loves is marking you. Even if you’re just sitting on the couch, Mingi has his lips on your neck and busies himself with pressing mark after mark against your skin.

But not now. No, right now, Mingi has his lips pressed to yours, and he is kissing you with a particular fervor that leaves you both wanting more. You two haven’t gotten very far past the kissing stage. A little grinding here and there, some awkward orgasms, and a few attempts to get in each other’s pants, but Yeosang always seems to make a timely appearance in those moments. You haven’t been caught yet though, which is more than a miracle since you and Mingi are nothing shy of sloppy.

"I want to try something," Mingi mutters even though the two of you are the only ones in the room. He isn't as shy or reserved this time, no, he's carrying a lot more confidence, and there's a fire in his eyes that catches you off guard.

"More than you've already done?" You exhale shakily.

"Yes. Just a little. Maybe." Mingi's tongue slips out and moistens his lips. Pushing his thigh forward, he works your legs apart slowly. His eyes remain on yours, watching for any sign of hesitation, and you sink your teeth into your lower lip. It's uncomfortable at first; the width of his thigh is too much for your smaller stature.

"Hold on." You shift under him and try to get a better angle with his thigh between yours. "Mi-ingi, wait." Mingi halts immediately at your words. You keep shifting until it's comfortable, only for Mingi to further press his muscled thigh against your crotch. You gasp, the sensation pulsing through you. "F-Fuck."

"Language," Mingi chastises. A laugh courses through him before he presses further up against you. You grasp at his shirt, balling your fists around the material, and throw your head back. "Does... does it feel good?" His voice is much more hesitant, confidence lost from his tone.

"Y-Yes. Yes. It – oh, oh." You shake under him as his muscle works harder against your core. "Fuck, for someone who do-doesn't know what he's doing, you're doing just fine." Rocking back against Mingi's thigh, you feel your hesitations slipping away. The pleasure of the feeling is too good for you to care any longer.

"Your reaction is helping a lot," Mingi huffs out as you release a small moan.

"Wa-ait, I th-think I'm close."

"Already?" Mingi asks. You roll your eyes at his remark and slap his arm.

"F-Fuck you."

"I can stop."

"No, no, no." You bite out, teeth gritted together.

Mingi rolls his thigh forward again. An almost pitiful moan leaves your lips as he does. A string of moans continues to escape as he uses his hands to guide your hips against the muscle of his thigh. You brace yourself by holding onto his shoulder, feeling a wave of heat wash over you.

"Oh fuck, fu-uck, I'm cumming," you cry out as the high hits. Your whole body trembles and shakes as the warmth washes over you. Mingi holds you against him as you ride it out, both arms snaking around you.

"Well, that's one idea down." Mingi slowly pulls his thigh away from you. His hands come down to the counter again, forehead coming to rest against yours. The euphoric sensation quickly leaves you, and as the orgasm passes, you find that cold washing over you instead.

"Is it my turn to try an idea out?" You whisper. Your hands find the collar of his shirt, folding around the material and tugging him down to you.

"Yea, I'd like that." Mingi chuckles. His fingers trace down to your sides.

Then – something rattles and clicks, and you hear the door creak. You shove Mingi back in haste, he stumbles back, and you spin around to turn your back on him. Your hands find the edge of the counter and grip it hard. You try your best to seem somewhat normal, but the two of you look more awkward than anything. It’s glaringly apparent that you were doing something, and you can only hope that Yeosang doesn’t put two and two together.

Your face is hot when Yeosang comes into view. Mingi has moved to the fridge in attempts to hide his red cheeks. Yeosang doesn’t notice you right away, still focused on closing and locking the door, but when he turns to see you, his head tilts in question.

“I really thought you were going to another party.” He laughs under his breath. As he moves closer to the counter, his eyes land on where Mingi is positioned by the fridge. A questioning gleam begins to rise up in his dark eyes. “Why the hell is it so awkward in here?”

You sputter a little, rushing to deny the awkwardness, but Mingi makes the situation even worse by turning around and excusing himself.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” he mutters as he slides out of the kitchen and down the hall. Yeosang’s brows shoot up. You two stay in silence until the door of Mingi’s room clicks shut. You gnaw on your lower lip as you watch Yeosang lower his school bag to the floor.

“You reek of sex.”

“Ex-excuse me, I d-do not!” You stammer, blinking furiously.

“And Mingi was popping a boner.”

“Oh my god, Yeos–”

“What the hell are you doing, Y/N?” The question isn’t spoken with vehemence or anger. Instead, Yeosang sounds tired and disappointed. That almost hurts worse.

“I-It’s no big deal. Just… we’re just learning. Together.”

“Learning together. Yeah, because that always ends well.”

“Listen, Yeo, what would you do in my shoes?”

“I have no idea, because I don’t even know why you thought to do this in the first place.” Yeosang leans against the counter and presses his palms against the granite. His gaze is hot on your skin, so focused on you that you have to look away.

“I don’t know anything a-about relationships or sex. Neither does Mingi. I… I want to know what I’m doing when I have sex for the first time. And when I get in a relationship. Isn’t that normal?”

“It’s normal not to know what the hell you’re doing, yeah. It’s not normal to make a sex arrangement with your childhood friend simply because you’re both horny.”

“That’s not what we’re doing!”

“Then what is it really?”

“J-Just tell me what you would do in my shoes.”

“Is this what you wanted to talk about earlier?”

“Yeosang, please.” Your embarrassment is skyrocketing at an impressive pace, no thanks to Yeosang’s increasingly invasive questions. “Yes, it is. But I didn’t mean for you to ask this many questions.”

“I would never do anything without feelings being present,” Yeosang answers after heaving a deep sigh. “I ask questions because I’m your friend, and as your friend, I worry. So just let me ask questions and worry about the two of you since you are my closest friends.”

“That’s probably a smart decision,” you mutter as you mull over the first half of Yeosang’s words.

“You aren’t going to make the smart decision though, are you?” When you refuse to answer, Yeosang sighs and turns away from you. “Y/N, I guarantee that you will regret this an–”

“It’s fine. Nothing bad will happen.”

“That’s what everyone says before something bad happens.”

“I trust Mingi with my life. Is that not enough?” You counter, arms coming up to cross over your chest. Yeosang squeezes his eyes shut, but you catch him rolling his eyes just before he closes them.

“I understand that, and I know you do. This is something serious. You should feel something for the person you’re giving all your firsts to.”

“There are feelings there,” you snap back.

“Romantic feelings, Y/N. You can’t tell me that you have any of those for Mingi because I know that you don’t.”

“And? Your point? I won’t be giving all my firsts to Mingi anyway.” As your defensive state grows stronger, Yeosang’s disappointment does too. He pokes his tongue out to drag over his lower lip. When he looks back at you, you almost wish he hadn’t so that you didn’t have to see the sadness on his expression.

“I don’t want to argue with you… especially not over something like this,” he mutters, bringing a hand up to comb through his hair. “I trust you, but I hope you will make the right decision about this. Not one that your body wants, but one that your heart wants.”

“I will,” you whisper back, all the fire and anger gone from your tone.

“I just don’t want you to regret anything, Y/N. Or for this to harm your friendship with Mingi.” The words spark an unprecedented amount of anger in you, and you drop your arms to your side.

“You don’t know the type of friendship I have with Mingi. It won’t ruin anything.”

Yeosang doesn’t get the chance to respond because Mingi comes back from the bathroom at that moment. He glances over you and Yeosang. If he notices the spike in tension between you two, he neglects to comment.

“I think I’m going to head home,” you mutter as you try to collect yourself. Mingi’s eyes rake over you in attempts to understand where your sudden departure is coming from. You don’t look back; instead, you stare straight ahead at Yeosang.

“O-Okay, do you want me to walk you out or…?” Mingi trails off. He fiddles with his hands, picking at a loose nail with little interest as he watches you.

“No, I told her I would walk her out,” Yeosang cuts in, finally looking away from you to nod at Mingi.

“Oh, cool. Uh, I’ll text you later, Y/N.”

“Yea, see ya. Tomorrow, I guess? I’ll text you.” You pull yourself away from the counter. Yeosang follows you out of the apartment, hot on your heels as you leave. It’s only when the door snaps shut behind the two of you that he opens his mouth to speak again. You cut him off before he gets the chance. “I don’t need you to worry about us.”

“I — I know you don’t, but you don’t get to decide when I care and when I don’t. I do. I care, and since I care, I’ll worry about you regardless.”

“I know,” you mutter, turning away from Yeosang before he catches the frown on your lips.

“I won’t lecture you to oblivion again, but… I just want you to be careful. I’m scared you’ll get in too deep or regret doing something with him. I know I’ve done that in the past. It’s not a matter of trusting you or trusting him. I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”

You moisten your lips as Yeosang speaks and mull over the words. Part of you feels bad for jumping down his throat so quickly like you did. You extend a hesitant hand to grip his bicep, squeezing around his shirt.

“Thank you for looking after us.”

“You’re my friends. I would be a pretty shitty person if I didn’t.”

“Still… I’m grateful that you’re looking out for us.”

“I sense a ‘but,’” Yeosang states, shrugging your hand off his arm.

“We’re being careful, that’s all.”

“If you say so.”

You and Yeosang exchange a prolonged stare, then you reach forward to pull the taller man into your arms. He hugs you back with equal enthusiasm, folding his arms around your waist and pressing his face against your shoulder.

“I love you, Yeosang.”

“Love you too, Y/N.”

⁂    ⁂    ⁂

You should know how long it’s been by now. Emphasis on should because you most certainly do not know how long you and Mingi have been exercising your arrangement, and things have escalated in a way you did not expect.

In short, the two of you have gotten bold beyond belief. You barely wait to see if Yeosang is home before going at each other, and that’s not even the worst part.

Last week, Mingi fingered you during movie night with Yeosang. It was awkward, he fumbled a lot and had trouble finding the right angle, but once he did, you had to bite on a pillow to keep from screaming out.

Two days ago, you gave Mingi a handjob in the back of a lecture hall. Yeosang was one seat over. God knows what was going through your mind at that moment because that had to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in your entire life. The thrill and rush it gave you was sweet, but as you look back at it, you only feel the hot burn of shame.

And now. This is the worst thing that has happened yet because Yeosang walked in just as Mingi was slipping one hand down your pants. Needless to say, the two of you detached quicker than imaginable. That didn’t stop Yeosang from seeing exactly what was going on, and your whole body burns with the embarrassment of being caught in the act.

“Mingi, you were gonna take me home?” You inquire, turning to the man even though he agreed to no such thing. It’s a desperate attempt to get out of this awful and awkward situation you just put yourself in. Mingi doesn’t seem to realize that right away though, and he blinks back at you with inquiry in his gaze.

“O-Oh? Was I?”

You send a pointed glare his way, and he straightens his back as he realizes what’s going on. You can feel the heat of Yeosang’s presence nearby. Even though he doesn’t say anything, you can sense the disappointment radiating off his body in waves. This is precisely what he was telling you to avoid. Yet here you are. Doing just that after telling him that you had it under control.  

“Yes, I was. I remember now. Yeo, can I borrow your car?”

Yeosang’s glare lingers on you. He doesn’t respond for a few moments, and you think he’s going to say no at first. Then he tosses his bundle of keys towards Mingi.

“Fill it up with gas on your way back.” Tone cold and flat. It almost hurts to hear, but Mingi still seems to be oblivious to what’s happening.

“Will do!” Mingi catches the keys with ease. You step around Yeosang to move towards the door. He seems to want to say more to you, but Mingi’s presence deters him. Either way, you’ll get a text from him later tonight saying that he’s sorry and didn’t mean to offend you or snap at you. That’s just how your relationship with Yeosang operates.

Mingi grabs your hand before you’re even out the door, threading his fingers through yours. You dare to glance back at Yeosang. His stare lingers on your joined hands with even more sadness than before.

“So, why am I taking you home?”

“Because, uh, I-I…” You trail off, hurrying to figure out some sort of excuse to get away from Yeosang. “I’m exhausted? Yeah, I’m exhausted.”

“You know you could spend the night with me. We do that… all the time.”

“Yeah, but I just wanna get home. I haven’t been home in hours. Need to feed the cat next door too.” It’s a lie, but Mingi’s eyes light up at the mention of the pet.

“Oh, is Mrs. Parks out of town again?”

“Y-Yep, but I’ll take care of it, so you don’t have to come up!” Mingi frowns at your words, and guilt twinges in your gut a little. It doesn’t last long because the chilly air outside nips at your skin and pushes the feeling away.

You climb into the passenger seat as Mingi gets in on the driver’s side. As soon as you’re settled in the seat, a hand comes down on your thigh. You flinch at the sudden sensation and glance over at Mingi. He acts as though he hasn’t done anything, hand resting on the inside of your thigh and making you look small under him. You won’t admit it to him, but it makes your gut pool with arousal. Mingi pulls out of the parking lot, driving with one hand so that he can keep the other pressed against your thigh. You want to question it and ask him what the hell he thinks he’s doing, but you can barely form a coherent thought. The simple action has you in shambles, and he isn’t even doing anything.

The drive commences in silence, the radio blares in the background, and Mingi occasionally drums the beat of the songs against your leg. You are trying your best to not think about it and just wave it off as a silly and harmless action. Emphasis on try, because every single time you begin to squirm under Mingi’s grip, he smirks. He knows exactly what he’s doing and isn’t even trying to hide the fact that he does.

When he pulls the car into your apartment complex, you don’t get out immediately. Partially because it feels awkward considering what went down in his apartment earlier, and mostly because his hand is still clamped around your thigh. You glance over at him and open your mouth to ask if something is wrong, but Mingi dips in before words get out. His lips hit yours in a mess of teeth and saliva, and you nearly bite the tip of your tongue off. It’s harsher than your first kiss; Mingi puts a lot more force into this one. You respond with an equal amount of ferocity though and reach down to undo your seatbelt. Mingi does the same, leaning into the kiss as he’s freed from the belt's restrictions.

You only part once you run out of breath, still awkwardly holding each other’s faces as you pant into the other’s mouth.

“You never got to try that thing you mentioned earlier…” Mingi trails off, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. You’re caught off-guard, however, completely unaware of whatever he’s talking about. That’s when it hits you. Before Yeosang came into the apartment, you told Mingi that there was something you wanted to try.

“A-Ah, yeah, th–well, yeah. I can — I can try it now maybe.” You stammer your way through the response and try to swallow the bundle of nerves that hits your throat.

“Y-Yeah, go for it. Just… go for it.” Mingi pulls away from you and puts his hands up awkwardly. You aren’t sure what you’re doing either, so you look equally as stupid. Mingi must be aroused from just the minimal kissing because there is a prominent bulge in his pants, and that’s precisely where you reach next. You place a shaky hand over his clothed erection. Mingi’s legs spread further open when you touch him, and you take it as an invitation. You reach for the button of his pants, popping it open, then you tug the zipper down.

Your motions are slow and calculated. You watch Mingi’s face for a reaction with each shift, delighted with the hiss that escapes him as you reach under the band of his underwear and grip his semihard member. You pull the underwear down just enough to expose his cock to the air and your eye. You aren’t sure what you were expecting — you’ve never thought about Mingi’s size — but his girth alone is enough to make you choke on air. You tighten your grip on his cock.

This isn’t the first time you have given Mingi a handjob. It is your first time seeing his cock head-on like this though, because he usually keeps it in his pants whenever you jerk him off. Your intention now is a little different, and you’re nervous about going through with the idea considering his size. You swallow your nerves and lean across the seat to press your lips over the head of his member.

Two months. Now you remember how long it’s been. Because you have spent the past two months reading articles, watching porn, doing anything you can to learn what the hell you’re supposed to do. It’s your first blowjob. Sure, Mingi has never had one, so he won’t know the difference between a good one and a bad one, but that doesn’t keep you from wanting to do a good job.

You start with a few kitten licks to the head of his cock, blinking up at it through fluttering lashes, then you slowly lower your mouth to encompass his shaft. He stretches your lips nicely; it isn’t painful or unimaginable as you initially thought it would be. However, you know that there is no way in hell that you are getting his whole member in your mouth. That’s off the table. He would be halfway down your throat if you tried to do that.

Instead of taking in as much as you can right off the bat, you start small, worshipping the tip of his cock with kisses and licks. He tastes salty; each bead of precum that leaks from his slit is less salty than the last, but you might just be getting used to the taste. You let your tongue explore his length. It runs down to follow the lines of his veins, tracing the tip before dipping back down to run the flat of your tongue over the underside of his cock. It’s heavier than you anticipated, but you have nothing to compare it to, so you can only assume that this is normal.

You begin to bob your head a bit more as you gain some confidence. Mingi releases small groans when your teeth graze his sensitive skin. The sounds encourage you to increase the frequency of your movements. Soon enough, you have to hold your hair back because you’re bobbing up and down too quickly on his cock. Mingi’s moans increase in volume as you continue. That makes you feel a little bit proud because you’re only halfway down his member. You dare to go a little further though, pushing your tongue out further and wetting the next quarter of his dick. As you dip lower, he hits the back of your throat. It triggers your gag reflex in an instant, and you gag around his dick. The sensation must feel good to Mingi because he releases a particularly filthy moan.

You have to pull off before continuing though. You can barely breathe, and nearly gagging on him made you want to throw up. Mingi watches you with eyes filled with lust and desire as you heave a few deep breaths. Slowly you return to his erect member, holding it by the base before pushing your lips back over him. This time, Mingi holds your hair back for you. His fingers entangle in your strands, staying close to your scalp as you hollow your cheeks around his cock. He touches the back of your throat again. This time you are more prepared for the sensation, but it doesn’t keep you from gagging again. Mingi’s hips jerk as you gag around him. He unintentionally bucks up into your mouth, causing you to choke further. A small noise of indignation escapes you, and you groan around him. Again, that must bring Mingi pleasure, because he shifts his hips back.

You smack his thigh when the grip on your hair doesn’t let you up for air. Mingi gets the hint immediately and lets you pull off him. A disgusting amount of saliva connects your lips to his cock. It must look filthy and perverse beyond belief, but Mingi’s dick twitches as you make eye contact with him, spit covering your lips and eyes watering. You swallow roughly. Surely Mingi is getting close to cumming; at least you hope he is because you aren’t sure that you particularly enjoy having a dick in your mouth.

The idea of pleasuring him outweighs your disdain, and you bend back over him to swallow as much of his cock as possible. You make it further than last time, still gagging a little, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as before, so you’re more comfortable continuing it. You bob along his member, and he helps you along a little by grabbing hold of your hair again. He guides your movements like that. Every once and awhile, Mingi will buck his hips up into your mouth and hit the back of your throat harder than before. You have to push the discomfort aside because you’re too damn determined to bring an orgasm over him.

It works at long last after a few seconds of holding you on his cock. You pull off, gasping for air, and Mingi cums in that moment. His seed hits your face, and it’s a good thing that you had your eyes squeezed shut because he would have popped you in the eye if not. You flinch at the contact. It’s as warm as always, but that doesn’t mean you want it on your face. Mingi cusses under his breath as he rides out the orgasm, voice low and gravelly. You shift to look in the back seat, find a random sweatshirt under one of the seats, and use that to wipe your face clean. You can still smell it, but at least you don’t have to feel it on your skin anymore.

Mingi blinks at you in wonder as you sit back in your seat, hands folded neatly in your lap.

“So…?” You trail off. You are a bit embarrassed to ask him what he thought, but you might have to get the words out anyway because Mingi blinks back at you with a dumb expression on his features. “Was i-it — was it good?”

“Fuck yes,” he mutters, releasing another groan. He quickly shoves his softening member back into his underwear and zips his pants back up. You swallow around nothing. “That was… wow. Wow. Damn.”

“Good! Good, yeah – uh, yeah, I’m glad.” You nod awkwardly, unable to look him in the eye all of a sudden. It’s strange how sometimes you can handle the embarrassment of your arrangement with such grace and ease, and other times you can’t even look at your hands. “Well, I’m gonna – I’m gonna go up now. I guess. Yeah.”

“Oh, o-oh, yeah, okay!” Mingi stammers as you motion over your shoulder. He nods along with you then rushes to hit the unlock button on his door. “You… uh, have a nice night!”

“You too, Mingi.”

“Cool.”

“Yep.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Why are you still in the car? And why the hell aren’t you getting out? Two questions that you will ask yourself for the rest of your life because you aren’t sure what comes over you. All you know is that tears are hitting your cheeks, and you are having a breakdown in the passenger seat of Yeosang’s car with Mingi, your childhood best friend, and the man you just sucked off in the driver seat. It feels filthy now. You’ve never felt so disgusting in your life like you’ve crossed a line you were never supposed to cross or that you have done something you can’t come back from. All you know is that Yeosang was right.

You regret it now.

“W-What’s wrong? Y/N, hey, hey. It’s okay.” Mingi reaches forward to touch your shoulder, but you smack his hand away before he can touch you. The sharp impact echoes through the car. “Y/N… what’s going on?”

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Mingi, what t-the fuck are w-we doing?” Your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands. You don’t even care that you just held a disgusting sweatshirt covered in cum as you rub at the tears on your cheeks. Mingi doesn’t know how to respond. He brings his hands back into his lap and keeps them there as you continue to cry. “W-We’re so fucking dumb. Why? Why did I let you convince me to do this? Wh-Why did you even suggest it?”

“I… I thought you wanted this.”

“Why would I want this?” You shout with sudden rage. Mingi flinches at the volume of your voice, and for a split second, you feel bad. That goes away immediately though as you settle back into your anger. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“You agreed to it!”

“You should have known better. You’re my best friend!”

“I told you to say no at any time. I said if you didn’t want it, we didn’t have to, I told you that. Why are you suddenly so upset now? After what? Two months? Suddenly this is the worst thing in the fucking universe?” Mingi doesn’t look at you as he hisses the words, eyes forward on the steering wheel. You’re shaking again, but this time it’s the anger that causes you to tremble. Mingi is right. You know he’s right. That’s almost more infuriating.

He gave you the opportunity to walk away, he told you that you could say no, he left the door wide open for you to go. And yet you didn’t. For what? What was all this for? For some damn experience for a guy that you know you’re never going to ask out, let alone talk to? Good fucking riddance.

You push your way out of the car, legs shaky and trembling as you go. You don’t stop to look back at Mingi as you slam the door behind you. A few seconds after you leave the car, the car horn blares. You jerk your head to look back at the car and see Mingi slam a fist against the steering wheel. It’s not hard to walk away, but each step has your legs feeling like lead in an unexpected way. It’s hard to not think about your best friend sitting in the car with tears on his cheeks like yours. It’s hard to believe that Yeosang was right, and he literally warned you that this would happen. Yet you still ignored him. Why? Why, why, why?

You’ve never felt more stupid in your life.

⁂    ⁂    ⁂

“It’s weird, isn’t it?”

Mingi stands across from you, arms folded over his chest as he watches you pace back and forth in your living room. You aren’t sure why you agreed to bring him here. It’s been three weeks since the two of you last spoke, three weeks since that argument in the parking lot, and you aren’t sure what it was that convinced you to come when he asked to meet. You don’t stop pacing back and forth as you recall a conversation the two of you shared shortly before your fight.

“We kiss and do all this stuff… but I don’t feel a thing.”

Your chest tightens a little, but you manage to at least maintain a straight face as he looks at you pointedly. Still, you continue your small rant with a weaker voice.

“I’ve never been sexually or physically attracted to you. And that feels wrong for some reason. It feels like I’m doing something that isn’t right. Do you get that?”

“Yea…” Mingi trails off, looking away from your face to stare at the wall instead. “Is all love like this?”

“I have no clue.”

“I don’t want to be in a relationship if I’m not going to feel anything. That doesn’t sound enjoyable.”

“No, not at all.”

So why did you continue? Why the fuck did you both think it was a decent idea to let things blow up in your faces like this? Now you can barely stand to look at each other, let alone be in the same room as each other. It makes every damn class awkward and tense. Recently it’s escalated to a point where you refuse to sit near him, finding a new seat across the lecture hall just so that you don’t have to think about the things you did with him while sitting in the back. Yeosang stays at your side in those classes but casts glance after glance back at Mingi throughout the class.

It didn’t take long for Yeosang to confront you about what happened either. He first yelled at you for the sweatshirt incident, but that quickly turned into concern as he recalled the state Mingi was in when he returned home.

“What happened?”

“You were right.”

God, you almost wish that Yeosang had laughed in your face and said that he knew he was right. You just wanted him to lecture you and tell you off for what you did. Instead, you got a sympathetic sigh and disappointed stares.

“You were happier when the two of you were simply friends and nothing more.”

“I know. I knew that a while ago.”

“So why did you keep doing it?”

Why did you keep doing it? A fucking good question because you certainly don’t know the answer. You know that it became a habit in a short amount of time and quickly developed into a bad one. So maybe you have Yeosang to thank for the reason why you’re pacing in Mingi’s apartment with two fingers picking at your lower lip as though it will make you feel better. He told you that you should at least get closure. Closure for what? A ruined friendship?

“Uh, that girl… the girl I like started dating someone,” Mingi says after several minutes of silence. You whip your head to blink at him in surprise.

“And…?”

Mingi shrugs, obviously unsure of what to say next. He turns away from you. Your pacing comes to a halt at last, and you just stand in the middle of the room, staring at Mingi with glaring eyes.

“Makes me wonder, you know? What all of it was for.”

You have to bite your tongue to keep harsh words from leaving your lips. In the time apart, you have realized that not all of this was Mingi’s fault — you are at fault just as much as he is. That apology is so fucking hard to get out because you’re so upset with yourself for letting this happen.

“I’m sorry for getting us into this mess,” Mingi says, bringing a hand up to run through his dark hair. “I k-know there were th-things I sh–”

“It’s not only your fault.” You muster up enough courage to say the five words, then your voice seems to die in the back of your throat. Heaving a deep sigh, you force yourself to continue the thought. “I messed up too. I’m at fault too. I’m sorry for pinning all the blame on you. I was ashamed and embarrassed with myself and my actions, so I truly am sorry for yelling at you the way I did.”

“I… no, I did mess up a lot. Even if you agreed to it, it was still initially my fault. I-I’ve been hiding s-something from you.” Mingi’s words cause your heart to drop. You drop your arms by your side, barely able to look at his guilt-ridden face. Something tells you that you don’t want to hear whatever it is he has to say.

“What the hell is it, Mingi? And why did you wait until now to mention it?”

“I – well, I was scared to tell you initially. Then I was scared to leave without having a… I don’t know a special moment with you?”

“What are you talking about, Mingi?” Your throat feels tight all of a sudden, and you don’t dare look away from the man’s face. It’s his turn to pace now, walking back and forth before you as he wrings his hands together. “Song Mingi.”

“I’m transferring to another school at the end of the week. There is no girl I’m into. Min Hyerin is just a random classmate that I thought could pass as a crush. I-I’ve kinda, uh, I’ve liked you this whole time.”

Your jaw all but drops at his sudden revelation. All the air leaves your lungs, and you can’t look at him any longer, turning to face the wall instead.

“I got scared when you were talking about liking that guy from whatever class it was. Psychology? I don’t know… I was scared, and that’s why I suggested the idea of learning together. Then when we talked about it after I while, you said that you didn’t feel a thing when we were doing things together. All the hand-holding and the kissing and the fake dates… I wanted them to be real.”

“What the fuck?” You hiss out between gritted teeth. You are trying your best to hold your tears back, but reality is catching up too quickly for you to handle. “What the actual fuck, Mingi? You — you manipulated me? I-I don’t even know what the fuck I’m supposed to say. I just–” You can’t even finish the sentence, tears hitting your cheeks before you know it.

“I didn’t want to leave without shooting my shot at least. I’ve been planning to leave for a few months, but I was too scared to hurt you. I’m really sorry. I should have told you sooner.”

“Didn’t want to hurt me? You choose to manipulate me and use me for some sick fantasy of getting off to me while lying the whole time? Throwing away our relationship and using me? Abusing your position as my friend to get in my pants because you were jealous? What the fuck?” Mingi freezes under your barrage of words, seeming to shrink smaller and smaller as you continue. “If you wanted to shoot your damn shot, you should have been honest! Instead of using me and my firsts as a way of getting what you wanted! I hope your fucking happy with yourself.”

“I-I, no, I never meant to hurt you,” Mingi stammers.

“Then what did you mean to do then? Because I’m fucking confused and hurt beyond belief right now.”

“I…” Mingi trails off, unable to finish the sentence. You can barely see him through your tears, and no matter how many times you blink, you can’t get rid of them.

“Just get the fuck out. Just go. I don’t want to see you or hear you or talk to you. I don’t want you in my life anymore. Just fucking go.”

“I can’t. I can’t leave you alone like this. I–”

“Fuck off, Mingi. You can leave me alone like this, and you will. I don’t want any more damn apologies. Nothing is going to fix what you did. So just fucking go.”

Mingi stares at you for several moments without saying a word. You refuse to meet his gaze. Just thinking about being in the same room as him makes you want to vomit, and it causes a physical pain to constrict in your chest. How the hell did you end up here? Things weren’t supposed to turn out like this, things weren’t ever supposed to become this way, and yet here you are. There Mingi is. And between you — the ruins of a crumbled relationship.

And just like that, Song Mingi walks out of your apartment and out of your life, leaving a giant dork sized whole in your memories, but to you, it only feels like a waste. It was a waste of firsts and special moments. The effort put into a pointless relationship that ended in flames because you weren’t careful enough.

Perhaps one day, you will regret it and feel bad for cutting him off in such a cruel and hasty way, but you block Mingi’s number and all of his social media accounts. Yeosang gets the hint not to mention him even though he still keeps in contact with Mingi on occasion. He asked you to move into Mingi’s empty apartment space, and you said no at first. It was too much to think about, being in the same house where he lived, and it made you think about all the things you did together while there too much. Then Yeosang offered to move into Mingi’s room so that you could have his own instead, insisting that he was worried about you and wanted to at least look after you in some way. So you decided to agree and move into Yeosang’s old room. Eventually, you get used to the new arrangement and learn to deal with the bad memories that linger in your mind as you live there.

It takes time to do so – six months to be exact – with the passing of the semester and summer break and the entrance of the new school year that bleeds into the beginning of December far too quickly for your liking. It’s a cold and snowy Wednesday morning when Jung Wooyoung sits beside you in psychology, and yet it feels like nothing you’ve felt before. The cold doesn’t leave a mark on you, only Wooyoung does, a branded image over your cold heart when he turns and smiles at you, brushing long strands of black hair out of his eyes.

“Hi, I’m Jung Wooyoung. I don’t think we’ve met before.”

⁂    ⁂    ⁂ a/n: hi and welcome to the end of this way-too-long fic! i would really really love feedback and would love to know what you think of this part, as it is setting up for the future installments of the series, but it could be read on its own for its own story. but anyway! let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading :(

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[lazarettta]

I’m Not A Witch

Characters ( Cordelia Goode, Misty Day, and Reader)

Word Count 3k

Warnings (Minor drug use 💨)

You don’t have a bad background, in fact your life is pretty cushy but not without its problems namely...you being able to do things with your mind but you have no control. Thankfully, Cordelia and Misty scoop you up before you head down a path of self-destruction. Platonic af but there could be something if you squint I think 🤔

~~

New Orleans was a world different from New York. A world different. You were born and raised in New York—it was your whole life, and you never really thought about a life outside of the city that never slept. Why would you want to leave the city that everyone wanted to be apart of? Well that's what you thought for twenty-three years.

You lived a comfortable life your entire existence, you didn't have to struggle nor were you ever afraid of your future. Your parents always made sure that you were well taken care of, nothing but the best for you and you knew how fortunate you were especially being a foster kid. You were born to Mr and Mrs Hawthorne, a wealthy couple who couldn't have a baby of their own so they went with the next best thing that money could afford—surrogacy.

It had taken your parents months to find the perfect candidate as Mr. Hawthorne, your father, would use his own semen (yikes dad). But that was all that you knew, you had no idea the identity of the woman they hired to carry you for nine months other than she was the nicest young woman your mother has ever met.

It wasn't a topic that could've been avoided as you got older and noticed that your complexion was a few shades more than theirs. But thankfully your parents were always open and honest with you, even at a young age. Of course you had a nanny growing up, both of your parents were lawyers—their time was always stretched far too thin, but you weren't a neglected child nor were you ungrateful and they loved you so much for it.

Which was why you never told them about your newfound skill when you hit your sweet sixteen—everyone thought the candle that nearly melted your entire birthday cake was a fluke incident but you knew that it wasn't. You had felt the heat of the fire as you watched your father set the tip of the match against the wick of the candle. For a brief moment you wondered what would've happened to your cake if it was on fire, you thought it would look pretty badass. You hadn't exactly expected it to actually happen! But it did and thankfully no one was injured just thoroughly freaked out.

Your parents laughed it off, quite nervously, but you never said anything about it to them and they never really brought it up again anyway. Unbeknownst to them, of course they were always at work and the penthouse housekeeper wasn't required twenty-four seven, you were able to fool around with your newfound hobby with relative peace in your room. Well until you nearly set the place on fire twice in the same month, after that you just went to the roof and googled meditation practices on google.

You only ever couldn't control the fire unless you were an emotional wreck. For two years, you kept that secret to yourself and if you didn't have friends before you sure as shit didn't then. No one really liked you anyway, your parents were richer than most of everyone else's and your parents actually gave a damn about you and not just about how you were going to make them look in the future.

They tried to bully you about your height but you weren't a punk, so that was short lived. Students envied you but that was okay. They didn't have anything to offer you, that's what your mom always told you anyway. Besides there was nothing wrong with being short, it just meant you had more to offer. Of course.

When you turned eighteen, you discovered something else about yourself...and you weren't exactly sure what you wanted to call it but you could always tell if someone was lying to you if you listened hard enough.

You weren't sure how it worked but you never took any real notice to it until your ex girlfriend, and your only girlfriend, lied to you and you felt a bit of a...you wouldn't say it was a jolt but your insides felt the same type of tingle when your foot fell asleep or something.

That's how you figured out your first love (high school, right?) was cheating on you...you hadn't dated anyone after that. How could you when all people did was lie?

And the minute they learned that you were a Hawthorne...it was done. You saved yourself the heartache and just focused on the future. You managed to graduate college a year early and you didn't go to jail for arson, yet.

The older you got and the more you learned about how shitty people could be, meditation and yoga stopped working so well for you and you ended up joining a gym. No martial arts or anything like that, you didn't have the time for it, but you hired a trainer and five days a week that’s what kept you grounded.

Presently...

You weren't currently working, well not anymore. Less than a month ago you were a nurse at Mercy hospital as a CRNA. It was a late night already and an unruly patient was brought in for a gunshot wound. Somehow he managed to slip out of his bonds and before anyone could stop him, the bastard had his hands around your throat and you'd...you just fucking panicked and he ending up burning to death from the inside.

No one knew how it happened they couldn't even prove that you had even done anything, but you were fired on the spot anyway...and your parents had to shovel out a good amount of money and blackmail to keep your name from the papers.

You hadn't searched for a job after that, what was the point? Your name may not have been dragged through the papers but you sure as hell weren't gonna be working at any hospital anytime soon. At least...not in Manhattan.

But after what happened...what you did to that man, the cruelty of it? Why would you? You'd been high strung after that and you picked up a habit you ditched after you left college.

It just helped you regulate your emotions better and to think, plus you just liked the way it made you feel. It also helped with the nightmares that would plague you every night, and the scene was always the same. He was always on top of you screaming to a pain too gruesome for words.

Your parents tried therapy but you were stubborn besides your medicine was better than theirs anyway.

Your father didn't know about your newfound hobby but your mom did, and she wasn't going to tell him either. She was just thankful that it wasn't crack or cocaine—she could deal with her daughter turning into a weed connoisseur. But she would not support an unproductive one.

That was exactly why she was on her way back into the city to your penthouse with two guests in tow. Doing her best not to cry in front of these two women who have proven to her that they could not only help you but take care of you in a way that she couldn't.

But she knew when your birthday cake went up in flames...she had been watching you the entire time, and in that moment...every warning and tale that your birth mother told her came to light. But she made a promise to love you like you were her own, because you were, and she'd love every freaky little tic that came with you.

As a mother it was hard for your mom to accept that this wasn’t something that she could do for you. But she was woman enough not to stand in the way of her daughter's success...whatever it was that you chose to do.

~~

You were sitting out on your balcony wearing your black robe with nothing else on except a pair of panties and your Prince tank top that you should've gotten rid of years ago but it was still one of your favorite—holes and all. You'd been blissfully in your own little world for a few hours now with your iPad sitting in your lap with some Stevie Nicks playing in the background over the speakers coming from inside your penthouse.

It was just the right volume that it wasn't too loud but the city noises didn't drown it out either. You'd just polished off your fourth bowl, something grape...whatever, you were just enjoying your time. You went back to drawing, head bopping softly and you were so lost in your own little world you didn't realize that you were alone in your penthouse. There were three different sets of high heels that you missed though you just about jumped out of your skin when your mother came into view via your peripherals.

“Oh!” you smiled bright and wide, eyes a tad bit low, “Hey mom, what are you...um...who are they?” you sat up quickly, unaware that your robe fell open with the movement and your mom nearly facepalmed. You set your tablet aside, doing a double take at the blonde with the curly hair that was lowkey dancing to Fleetwood playing in the background. You looked at your mom, your smile morphing into a confused frown, “Mom?”

“Sweetheart,” your mom soothed back a long strand of dark hair and cleared her throat softly which worried you even more because your mom was never one to be nervous, ever, “This is Cordelia Goode and Misty Day.”

Subconsciously you reached into your robes pocket and pulled out a bright orange stress ball you got from the bodega for a whopping five bucks. (You had to have been high as fuck not to argue that price down but whatever.) You squeezed it softly, licking your dry lips, “Um...hi? Did I do something to you guys too? If I did I'm so sorry, I—”

“No, baby, no,” your mother sat next to you, quickly fixing your robe and your messy hair and Cordelia's brown eyes shot to Misty, who had immediately stopped dancing, “Just...are you hungry? Orange juice maybe?”

“Mrs. Hawthorne?” you looked up at the blonde woman came up behind your mother with a soft smile, “If I may, in my experience it is always better to just rip it off just like a band-aid.”

“Rip what off?” you pulled away from your mom, scooting away and hated seeing that hurt look on her face but there was something going on, you were not that paranoid.

“Honey, this is just a little intervention and—”

Laughing, you scooted away from your mom again, “What? Mom, it’s just pot—”

Your mom waved away your comment with a roll of her eyes, “Honey, I don’t care about the grass—”

“Then what…”

“Zip!”

You quickly shut your mouth when your mom said that and have you that look, it was one you knew quite well growing up. It baffled you how it was still working on you.

Your mom sighed, “It's just for a little while and I'll make sure that this place is well cared for.”

“Wait what?! You're sending me away??”

“(Y/n).” the blonde, Cordelia, pulled your attention from your mom who was crying, Cordelia sat on the edge of your coffee table carefully while Misty continued to hover in the background curiously, but prepared in case you got jumpy, “We just want to help you, okay? We're not here to kidnap you or harm you in any way.”

“I can't be helped,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes even as the tears spilled over, “I—I don't know what you think you know, Miss Goode but...”

“I know quite a bit, (Y/n),” Cordelia held out her hand and suddenly your stash box flew past your head making you flinch but Cordelia caught it just fine and you stared at her wide eyed, “You and I? We aren't so different and at Miss Robichaux's academy for exceptional young ladies...we teach young witches such as yourself how to survive in the modern world.”

“Witches? You think I'm a witch? No way, mom c'mon...the...the stash box trick was cool and all, but witches? Mom! Mom please, you're not buying this are you?” but even as you questioned it, you knew that they were telling the truth and that's what scared you the most. “How do you know they're not trying to use this for your money?”

“We're not, I promise! We don't need your family's money, (Y/n). All we want is to help you.”

“Listen to her, honey, this is for your benefit, okay? And...these women are very nice people, so don't give them trouble, not that you would, right?”

You looked over your mothers shoulder at Misty, the woman offering you a smile and a playful wink.

You exhaled heavily, your eyes sliding back to your mom, “...and you're not getting rid of me right? Because of...what I can do? Or what I've done?”

“No! Absolutely not, it was an accident! If anything it was the faulty bonds they put that monster in! Honestly,” your mother huffed, “your father and I still have half a mind about suing that hospital…”

“But not without having to drag my name through the mud.” You mumbled, sighing heavily.

“I love you, (Y/n), so damn much. Yes, we would’ve gotten millions but you’re worth much more to your father and I, don't you forget that,” Your mom reached over and grabbed your hand, squeezing gently before standing and quickly gathering her Prada bag, “and...don't worry about your father with all of this. I'll break this to him myself but baby...promise me that you will try?”

You bit your bottom lip, nodding slowly and holding her hand tighter almost painfully so before surging up and hugging your bother tight, and even though she was in high heels your slight frame made it easy for her to catch most of your weight. She hugged you back just as fiercely, kissing your forehead twice before letting you go.

“And here—for emergencies and whatever you might need, honey.” your mom pushed her black card into your trembling hands, the weight of it denser than you expected it to be and it made you laugh, of course your mom would shove money at you. It was her love language, you stopped questioning it a very long time ago but you never took advantage of it. “I love you so so much.”

Cordelia watched the entire exchange silently with an ever curious eye, even daring to risk raising an eyebrow when she saw your mom push that unmarked card into your hands before skirting off. Your mom reminded her a bit of her own mother...money was Fiona’s love language as well.

But your mom was much more pleasant, her love for you blossomed like a rose rather than a thorn bush.

You exhaled shakily, hands fidgeting in front of you, “I...what now?”

“Now we get down to business,” Misty smiled at you, stepping into the space your mom once occupied and took your hands in both of her own, “Your mama is resourceful, she tracked us down and everything, but it wasn't like it was all that hard since Delia and I were lookin' for you too.”

“You...you were?” you looked over your shoulder at Cordelia still sitting on your coffee table, “Why?”

“We heard about what happened to the man at the hospital and even though you weren't named, it wasn't that hard to track you down and we happened to cross paths with your mother.”

“Figures...” you nodded, sniffling again and you quickly pulled your hands from Misty when a breeze hit your skin—reminding you how indecent you were among two strangers.

You fixed your robe again and quickly sat down and Misty followed you down, bouncing slightly almost a little too close—your high was completely worn off at this point, “Earlier you said that you were helping wit...people like me live in the modern world? What?”

“Yes, we help witches such as yourself avoid situations like the one you currently experienced.”

You raised an eyebrow at her wording and she smiled at you when you met her eyes. You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest—appearing unbothered even if you were still sniffling, damn. Your mood swings were going to give you whiplash one of these days.

“You don’t really expect me to go around calling myself a witch do you?”

Cordelia’s eyes narrowed a fraction, “What I expect, (Y/n), is for you to actually make an attempt. There will be rules and the sooner you drop the attitude, the easier this will be for all of us—you especially.”

You opened your mouth to argue back but then you quickly shut your mouth, your mom's words bouncing around in your head to stop causing trouble. Along with the promise you made to her.

Misty was sitting still next to you, and though you couldn’t see it—her eyes were darting back and forth between you and Cordelia with a bit of a grin trying to break free.

“Right, and um where is this school of yours again? If I even agree to this at all?”

Cordelia gave you a look that you couldn't really decipher, “Miss Robichaux's academy is in California.”

Your eyes flew back to hers immediately, “I don't wanna go around calling you a liar Miss Goode, I only just met you...but you and I both know that's not true.”

“Ah, so it is true...you do have some form divination.”

She led you right into a trap and you couldn’t even be annoyed by that, Cordelia was proving to be a lot more than she appeared. “Divination? What is that? Is there anything my mom didn't tell you?”

“Well, she didn't tell us ya favorite food.” Misty supplied unhelpfully, attempting to break the building tension with poor humor. And you couldn't hold back your smile, deciding that you liked her a lot.

“You're a walking lie detector, dear. That's quite handy in today's world.”

Misty chuckled before one of her arms came around your shoulders, “Oh yes, and Madison is just gonna love you!”

“Don't worry, you’ll fit right in.” Cordelia chuckled, still sitting directly across from you and there was a bit of a twinkle in her brown eyes, she knew you were going to be trouble and that she would have to keep a close eye on you. But if there was one thing that Cordelia enjoyed, it was a challenge.

~~

I dunno what I’m doing for real lol it’s 1am and I’m in my garage on a tablet 😅😅I thought this was fun

#ahs coven #cordelia goode #misty day #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode x misty day #sarah paulson #ahs coven imagine #american horror story #lily rabe #ahs cordelia #ahs misty