#yeah its not like i thought today would be alright! nope! i was foolish for thinking that! silly yarida! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quileutlove · 3 years

Text

Prompt List

Random Prompts (From other blogs and internet), you can choose more than one for me to write.

“No no no, sorry! I just-... I honestly didn’t think you even knew my name.”

“For once, this isn’t actually my fault.”

"There's a whole ass party outside and you two are in the kitchen doing this?"

“They act like they hate you, dude.” / “No, they don’t?” He tilted his head. / “They never smile at you or hold your hand or even kiss you! You would think they would at least break that cold exterior for their boyfriend!” / “They don’t show their love that way.”

"Well, mistakes were made, I guess. Can we just move on, please?"

“Normally, I’d have pushed you out the door by now, but you’re making a compelling argument with the bribery.”

“Wow. Here I thought we had a moment. I spilled my story to you and all you have to say is 'okay’? What does that even mean?!”

“I’m not letting karma deal with this. I can’t trust it’ll be enough of a punishment, nor can I say it’d be fast enough.”

“I can’t believe I’d ever fall in love with someone like you.”

“I know I signed up for this and all, but... if I die, it's still your fault and I will not hold back on blaming you.”

“Rules? Nope, not listening. I’m not following them. Never have, never will.”

“The more I love you, the more I hate you.”

“I’m still way too sober for this.”

There is nothing like the feeling of waking up in the morning after thinking you wouldn’t make it through the night.

“So from the bottom of my cold, dead heart, screw you.”

“Are you always this prone to bad luck and violence? If so, that’s kind of sad.”

“Bruh, I don’t know where you got the idea that I’m a good person, but if you want to keep it. Leave now.”

"I'm not going to ruin today by going to the hospital."

“Aw, look at you, using fancy words at me. You’ve certainly grown up, haven’t you?”

“Am I a hero or the devil’s son? Can’t figure out what side I’m on.”

“Give me back my keys! I’m fine!”

“So that’s it? It’s over?”

“You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, and yet I don’t regret a moment of it.”

“No pressure, honest. It’s not like the world is depending on you or anything.”

“You’re so convinced that I’ll hurt them that you haven’t considered it’s the last thing I’d ever want to do.”

“I have fifty other excuses I could use. Do you want me to start alphabetically?”

“I’m not going to like what you’re about to tell me.... am I?”

“Excuse you, I can be as dramatic and ridiculous as I want, outside of work hours. You can’t stop me.”

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

“Promise me you won't start any fights this time.” /“Fine, I promise I won't start any fights.” /“Thank you.” / “.....I will finish them though.”

“They can hear us.”

“When I let go, run for your life.”

.“Go. Go now and don’t look back.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“I do... I do. I do love you!”

"I'm your problem now. Just accept it."

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?! Don’t you think I deserved to know?!” / “I did tell you, multiple times. You just didn’t want to believe me.”

“There’s a vampire in the fridge.... Why is there a vampire in the fridge.”

“I’m not scared of him!” / “... Admirable, but also foolish. You should be terrified of him.” They took a sip of their tea. “Fear is not the absence of courage.”

“Whilst I am very well aware that this was an incredibly poor decision, I also want you to be aware, that I very much, don’t care.”

“Please stop trying to look for the good in me, you won't find it. I sold it at a flea market, back in ‘97.”

“You’re taking this a lot better than I expected.” / “Honestly, I was imagining way worse.”

“Are you ok? You look just about ready to launch yourself across the room and beat them to death.” / “Trust me, it’s taking every inch of my control, not to.”

“How did we even get dragged into this complete mess, anyway?” /“I believe that may have been my fault.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so intimidating before.” / “You should meet my mothers.”

"never speak of this again"

“...Did you really have to go that far?” / “Oh my dear, trust me, I wanted to go much much further.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you even like me…it sure feels like you hate me sometimes.”

“You were supposed to be my friend. That’s all…that’s all I asked of you. To be my friend. To care.”

“I don’t…I’ve never…been in a relationship and I’m going to make mistakes…I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me.”

“I want to believe, I do…I just…how can I believe in something that I can’t see?”

"don't come crying to me"

"This sounds a lot like a marriage proposal." / "Maybe it is."

“Excuse me, but what the McFuck?”

“I never thought I’d have to ask this, but am I being too subtle? Or are you just not interested?”

“You’re right, I am a pacifist, but if you try to harm them ever again, I WILL kill you.... and I will enjoy it.”

“This is probably a really weird question, especially since it’s like.... three am, but do you want to come over and make chocolate chip pancakes with me?”

“I wanted to. I really wanted to tell you. I just–couldn't.”

"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. You're Mr. Perfect. You're always right and never make any mistakes." / "Not everybody can be such a little Miss Sunshine all the goddam time!" /"Yeah, well. I'm not like you. I'm not everybody's darling, dear."

“Well, well, well. If I didn’t know you better, A, I might think you’ve actually started caring about them.” / “...I don’t care about anyone.” /“But B isn’t just anyone, are they?”

“Do you really think that anyone is going to love a bad guy like you? You’re going to die alone, and no one will even care that you’re gone.”

“That obnoxious self righteous bullshit, will not work on me, dear. I’m already very happily married.... And yes, before you ask... they know exactly what kind of things I do when they’re not around.”

“If anything happens to them, I’m holding you personally responsible. Their blood will be on your hands.” / “You’re not the only one who cares about them! You think I ever expected this?!” / “You should’ve. If you ever loved them like I do, you should’ve never gotten them involved. If I lose them now because of you...Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen then. I genuinely don’t know what I’ll do. And that should terrify you.”

“It’s going to be alright. You’re safe now. You’re safe, I’ve got you.”

“Woah, are you ok?! What’s wrong?!” / “Oh, nothing much. Just accidentally bound my soul to that of someone who should have been fictional, but somehow isn’t, and is now stuck with me for the foreseeable future.” / “....I’m sorry I asked.”

“You really are dumb. I love you, but you're an idiot.”

“You don’t know what you do to me, do you?”

“I just want you to be safe. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you!”

“I want you to be happy…even if its not with me.”

“I want to feel like this forever.”

“You give me a reason to be better, to do better.”

“God, you are so fucking cute.”

“I love you, but I need you to go away because you’re really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow.”

“I…I can’t do this without you.”

“You weren’t there…why weren’t you there?”

“I needed you! I needed you!”

“Now it’s over…I don’t really know what to do.”

“I’m going to die. I’m going to die with an absolute idiot!”

“Sometimes you love someone and you don’t want them to leave…because if they’re beside you, you can see that they’re safe and you can keep them safe. But, if they go somewhere without you…you might lose them,”

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it. You are so important to me, you are such a big part of my life, that I just…I can’t imagine you not here.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Stop apologising for other people! You’re not the shitty one!”

“Stop being a fucking dick.”

“Can anyone else hear those Jumanji like drums? Or is it just me?”

“I’m only important when you need something from me.”

“I am fed up of half measures. I deserve better”

“Don’t look at me! I’m a mess!” / “I love it when you’re a mess!”

“I don’t think you’re annoying…I know…I don’t…I really enjoy listening to and hearing what you have to say even if it's a lot sometimes..”

One reaching for the other's hand to comfort them, to provide support. A thumb brushing lightly against skin.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Go big or go home” / “I’m already home.”

“I look at you and I…I feel so sad because I love you but I also have been hurt so many times that I don’t think I can forgive and forget.”

“I didn’t take you for the settling down type.”

“If you want to leave, we can leave.” / “I don’t want to ruin your party.” / “You could never ruin anything.” / “Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner.”

“Please don’t make me choose.”

“I can finally understand why you call them your arch-nemesis…What. A. Dick.”

“Could you come get me?”

“I just thought that since you weren’t feeling too good, maybe this would help.”

“I thought you said no more dangerous stunts?”

“Please get me away from him. He hasn’t left me alone all night and I am this close to committing a murder.” / “I apologise sincerely if my handsome/beautiful face has kept you awake all night.”

“Would it help if I stayed?”

“Where are you taking me?”

“I’m here and I’m staying.”

“You’re not exactly known for your great ideas.”

“Can we talk about it?”

“Go to hell.”

“I think we’re done here.”

“Oh, I don’t actually care.”

“I have to let go.”

“Can you keep a secret?”

“You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“Do you have any idea what time it is?”

“How long have you been waiting?”

“Can you stop talking for literally ten seconds?”

“I am not about to let you leave that easily.”

“Well, it’s not my fault.”

“You’re breaking my heart.”

“This definitely has the potential to be catastrophic.”

“You still have that?”

“I will not justify that with a response.”

“Apparently I can’t have a single moment of rest.”

“Are you sure we should be doing this?”

“It’s not a competition.”

“Keep talking.”

“I hate being the only adult in the room.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Does this count as breaking and entering?”

“pew, pew, motherfucker.”

“slap my ass and call me a wizard, that was some freaky magic shit I just did.” / “is the ass slapping really necessary?”

“I’m dying!” / “it’s just a fever, you’re okay.”

“premarital hugs are against my religion.” / “but aren’t you an atheist?”

“stop looking so grumpy, it’s lame.”

“looking good, * LAST NAME * ” / “we’ve been married for five years, how are we still on last name basis?” / “I was talking to myself.”

“do you want my jacket?”

“oh, you’re jealous!”

“your hand looks heavy, can I hold it?”

“is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

“I’m just so stressed, all the damn time.”

“should you be drinking that much?”

“you can’t fight if you’re dead!”

“go to hell.”

“this is all your fault.”

“look at me, please, we can still fix this.”

“it’s not working out. We’re not working out.”

“mistakes are easily made in the moment. Apologies are not.”

“if you touch her, I swear to god, I will kick your ass so hard that your vertebrae will pop out of your mouth like a pez dispenser.”

“nightmares again?”

“hey I know you’re hurting, but you’re not alone in this, okay?”

“can I. . . . can i just have a hug please?”

Series Quotes:

"Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need, he's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are." - Grey's Anatomy.

"Next time you see my face, show some respect." - The Sopranos.

"DNA doesn't make a family. Love does."- The Fosters.

"Every song ends, but is that any reason not to enjoy the music." - One Tree Hill.

"If I die, turn my tweets in to a book." - Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

"Just have a little faith." - Prison Break.

"So pick me, choose me, love me." - Grey's Anatomy.

"Everybody lies." - House.

"Saving people, hunting things, the family business." - Supernatural.

“God knows I couldn’t love them more, but even the Kennedys didn’t get together this often.” - Modern Family.

“I revealed too much too soon. I was emotionally slutty.” - Sex and the City.

“Either this kid has a lightbulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.” - Scrubs.

“Once again I humiliate myself by assuming I’m a member of this family.” - The King of Queens.

“I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love.” - Scandal.

“I’m not gonna ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it’s what you just said.” - The X-Files.

“Does Elena enjoy having both of you worship at her altar?” - The Vampire Diaries.

“More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.” - The Sopranos.

“Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!” - Friends.

“All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about and when I’m with her I feel happy to be alive, like I can do anything, even talk to you like this. So that’s what I feel is love—when I’m better because she’s here.” - Boy Meets World.

“I don’t want to be happy; I want to be with you.” - Three’s Company.

“ You can’t live your life according to maybes“- Orange is the new black.

"And what exactly do you think fairy tales are? They are a reminder that our lives will get better if we just hold on to hope. Your happy ending may not be what you expect, but that is what will make it so special." - Once Upon a Time

"It's always been you. I tried to fight it and I've tried to deny it. And I can't do it. I can't. You're undeniable." - The O.C.

"People don’t write sonnets about being compatible, or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones.” - Gossip Girl.

"Tragedy blows through your life like a tornado, uprooting everything. Creating chaos. You wait for the dust to settle and then you choose. You can live in the wreckage and pretend it's still the mansion you remember. Or you can crawl from the rubble and slowly rebuild." - Veronica Mars.

“He’s trying to force you to like normal things. And you shouldn’t like things because people tell you you’re supposed to.” - Stranger Things.

"Mourn the losses because they are many. But celebrate the victories, because they are few." - Queer as Folk.

“You spend your whole life looking for answers because you think the next answer would change something. Maybe make you a little less miserable. And you know that when you run out of questions you don’t just run out of answers. You run out of hope.” - House

"What I’m saying is that I think, maybe, the best things, the richest things aren’t supposed to come easily, and that sometimes the moments that make the most sense happen when everything else doesn’t and, well, I think you deserve more than popcorn tonight." - Psych.

“Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour and it can never be used to hurt you.” - Game of Thrones.

“And when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night you see the stars.” - One Tree Hill.

1 note · View note

bendywackyadventures · 6 years

Text

AJDS- Pirate Adventure

Soon Bendy in Nightmare Run will be out soon and I decided to write stories that are themed after the episodes we get to play in Nightmare Run. So here’s a story based on @ask-joeydrewstudios AU.

Enjoy!

AU: @ask-joeydrewstudios

Joey came into the living room in his apartment and saw his toon children in pirate costumes pretending to be well of course pirates. “Hey guys, what’s up?” Joey asked.

“Were playing pirates!” Bendy cheered.

“Bendy made this map, and were looking for treasure!” Boris added showing a drawn map.

Joey chuckled at the toons imagination. “Oooh what’s is treasure?” He asked.

“Well.” Bendy started. “I heard that a certain someone has a treasure chest filled with goodies that they’re keeping hidden.” The ink demon explained.

“And it’s up to us to find it.” Alice added.

“Well. I hope you three have a wonderful adventure! Be safe Captain Bendy!” Joey saluted as he went to his office.

The toons saluted as well, “We, will matey!” Bendy yelled. The toons left the room and into the studio to find the treasure. “So the map says we have to take a left to find the treasure.” Bendy read.

“I’m on it!” Boris sniffed the ground to follow the scent of the treasure.

Speaking of the treasure, Wally was dragging a large chest. He kept looking around in hopes he doesn’t see the toons around. “Hey Wally.” Wally screamed holding the chest like his life depended on it. “Its me, idiot!” Lacie yelled.

Wally sighed. “Oh Lace, hi.” He looked around hoping he was safe, “you haven’t seen the toons have you?” He asked.

“No, why?” Lacie asked.

“Well. I’m hiding my candy stash from them, and I need you and Thomas’s help.” Wally explained.

Lacie shook her head. “No way, count me out in your foolish game!” She was about to walk away, but Wally held onto her leg.

“Please.” Wally begged giving a pouty face.

Lacie stared at the young janitor and rolled her eyes. “Fine.” Wally smiled and hugged his co-worker.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” He repeated. Lacie rolled her eyes, but patted the young boy’s back.

“What’s going on?” Susie asked as she, Shawn and Sammy came by.

Wally smiled and hugged the three workers. “Glad you three are here!” He cheered. “Do you guys want to help me and Lacie hide my treasure from the toons?”

“Depends.” Sammy said looking at the treasure. “What’s in your box?”

“A stash of candy.”

“I’m out.” Sammy was about to leave, only for Susie to grab his arm.

“Come on Sammy, it will be fun.” Susie added hugging his arm.

Sammy couldn’t say no to his girl, then again playing games with Wally is one of the many things he never wanted to do today. Sammy groaned, “Fine, I guess we’ll play games with Wally.” Susie clapped her hands in enjoyment seeing her boyfriend will join in on Wally’s shenanigans. Sammy sighed knowing he got himself into something that was foolish.

“Great!” Wally cheered, “Now we just need one more member.” Wally smirked knowing whom to add to his pirate crew.

“Absolutely not! Thomas yelled.

“Come on Thomas! We need you!” Wally whined.

Thomas shook his head. “No way Wally, you have a big enough team! Count me out!” He yelled walking away.

“Please.” Wally begged.

Thomas rolled his eyes and went back to work. Wally then got closer to Thomas giving him a pouty lip and puppy dog eyes. Thomas scoffed at the janitor’s expression and still continued his job, but Wally still kept his puppy dog expression.

The repairman worker groaned and faced Wally. “If I say yes, would you stop!?” He yelled. Wally smiled and hugged Thomas tightly. Thomas sighed, and glared at Wally, “Can you let me go!”

Wally let go of Thomas and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.” He chuckled.

“Okay. Okay you got your pirate crew now what?!” Sammy asked.

Wally thought for a second. Once he got an idea he smiled. Sammy then pushed the large chest of candy to a closet, but there was so much inside that chest that the music director struggled to push the chest due to the sheer number of sweets within.

“He’s not a strong man, is he,” Lacie asked Susie.

Susie shook her head. “Nope. Not at all.”

Lacie sighed and went to help the music director push the chest into the closet. Lacie was so strong Sammy fell face-first to the floor.

“Now just one more thing.” Wally said.

“What? Pirate costumes?” Sammy asked giving a chuckle.

Later, Wally put pirate costumes on his crew. He smiled proudly seeing his crew in costume. Thomas turned around and glared at Sammy. “Next time, shut your mouth.”

“Alright me mateys. Its time to guard the treasure!” Wally exclaimed in a pirate accent.

“What’s with the accent?” Shawn asked.

“It makes it fun!” Wally replied, “Now! Bendy and his crew will be stealing the treasure, and its up to us to use our strength and wits to guard the treasure!”

“Wally! Do you really need the accent!?” Thomas yelled.

The janitor flinched, “Okay. I’ll stop.” He whimpered.

Bendy’s pirate crew continued to look around for the treasure, but Boris lost the scent they got earlier. “It’s got to be here somewhere!” Bendy yelled.

“Wally hid it really well!” Boris pointed out.

Alice and Bendy thought where would Wally hide the treasure. Bendy snapped his fingers knowing where the treasure could lie. “I got it!” He exclaimed.

“You know where it is?” Boris asked.

Bendy gasped and held his breath. “No,” Alice and Boris glared at the demon. “But! I might have an idea!” Bendy pulled out a map and unrolled it. “If I know Wally, he’s going to be in one of these places.”

Alice and Boris knew the only person Wally spent the most time with is Bendy. “So where could he have hide it, Captain?” Boris asked.

Bendy looked through the map and thought of what would be the best hiding place to hide the treasure. He smiled and pointed where on the map. Alice and Boris followed Bendy upstairs leading to the top of the hallway near Grant’s office.

“If my calculations are correct, Wally hid the treasure right there!” Bendy pointed to a lock door.

“And you know this, how?” Alice asked.

“Wally hid a lot of stuff there, including some magazines featuring some models.” Bendy wiggled his eyebrows. Alice groaned in disgusted.

“Let’s just get the treasure!” The toons walked towards the door, but before they can reach the doorknob…

“Aha!” Wally yelled blocking the door with Susie and Lacie.

“Susie?!” Alice squeaked. She was in shock to see Susie on Wally’s side then on her side. Alice and Boris took a step back, but their backs touched Shawn, Sammy and Thomas.

“Thomas?! Sammy?!” Boris yelled, surprised just as Alice. Bendy smirked and chuckled at the pirate costumes the music director and the repairman wore.

Sammy picked up the ink imp by the collar of his pirate costume. “You say anything! You’ll wake up one morning in the lake!” He growled.

“Sammy, calm down! We’re just playing along.” She said.

“Really? You guys are just playing along?” Alice asked. Susie nodded making the angel sigh in relief.

“Yeah! We won’t hurt you guys, I mean what are we monsters?!” Susie asked.

Wally groaned. “It would have been fun to tie them up and be real pirates for once!”

The toons and workers smirked realizing they had shared the same plan.

“COME ON GUYS!” Wally yelled. He was tied up and hanging from the balcony.

Everyone laughed as they enjoyed the candy from the treasure chest. “You said you wanted a real pirate adventure, you got one!” Shawn pointed out. Wally groaned as he struggled to break free.

#ask-joeydrewstudios #bendy the ink demon #Boris the Wolf #Alice Angel #Wally Franks #Lacie Benton #Thomas Connor #Sammy Lawrence #Susie Campbell #Shawn Flynn

66 notes · View notes

calzona-all-ways · 6 years

Text

Mrs. Torres and the Red Headed Devil

CHAPTER 4

By: Anonymous

“You mean you wouldn’t take her back”? April asked incredulously.

“Nope. Not a chance.”

“But the hot sex-”

“Was no where near hot enough to wipe away the thought of them together.”

“But I don’t understand. I thought that you guys were-”

“We were. But then we broke up and she had sex with that- that redheaded… devil,” Arizona cringed at the image her words brought forth before concluding with a “Blecch…” the sentence ending as the blonde sucked in a heavy breath to rein in her lingering disgust at the traitorous former chief of surgery who had been way too eager to involve himself in her battle for custody.

“Hey, I have red hair too you know.”

“Oh! Sorry. Sorry. But hey, you didn’t take the stand against me and you haven’t tried to bed any of my lovers. At least as far as I know of.”

Unfazed, April sympathized with her friends comment. “I would never do that to a friend.”

“That’s because you’re not a trouble making crap dog or a- a ginger haired-”

A pale hand stood erect to quell the flow of harsh words before they could progress in severity.

“I get it, Arizona. I get it. But that ‘crap dog’ and I are friends too.”

"I know. I know you are. I guess I just get carried away when I think of what went on in court and then the two of them- well, you know.”

“In flagrante delicto, I heard. So I guess its a safe bet that you won’t be taking her back any time soon then.”

Arizona snorted. Her mind flitted to her one true love and that woman’s unexpected return into her life just the day before. “Absolutely. In fact I’d say it’s a guaranteed sure thing.“

Out of sight but not earshot, Callie winced. Brown eyes closed in a prolong blink only to spring open when the blondes invective echoed in her head and she finally placed the familiar words. ‘Red headed devil’. So that’s where Sofia picked up the phrase, she must’ve heard it from the mother she emulated. Callie had thought it strange for Arizona to refer to her recently ex-girlfriend as such, for she had never displayed any outward disapproval of her relationship with Penny. In fact, before their atrocious battle for custody, her ex wife was nothing if not friendly and supportive of her and the younger resident’s burgeoning feelings for each other. Apparently things were not as cordial as they had appeared to be. God, how could she have been so wrong, the brunette wondered. How could she have been so stupid? Callie grimaced remembering how she had shown up on her ex wife’s doorstep the previous evening, practically begging for a second chance. She suddenly felt so foolish.

Taking a step closer to the doorway, Callie craned her neck to hear more.

"Arizona, that’s not fair. You guys were broken up when she, you know.”

“I know. And I don’t care. And now she thinks she can just waltz back up to me and ask me to what? Be her girlfriend? Her steady sex partner? After her gross little fling?”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I’m going to do nothing. Not a thing. I know she wants to try again, but every time of think of them together, kissing, touching, I just- I get so repulsed. I mean she’s actually, physically repulsive to me now. And I could never be in a relationship with somebody who I have an aversion to. No matter HOW good the sex once was.”

Tears form in Calles eyes as she digested the blondes words, the despair cascading in her soul making her feel like she might vomit. What had Arizona expected her to do? They were broken up with nary a chance for reconciliation.

“Ok, well I get that, I guess. I mean there ARE plenty of other fish in the sea-”

“Nope. Not for me.” An ebullient smile suddenly overtook the blondes features and her eyes seemed to sparkle. “My fishing pole is permanently retired,” she leaned in to whisper excitedly.

“Your… fishing pole is retired?” April automatically mimicked her friends softer tone. “When did you take up-wait, do you mean- did you meet someone?”

Arizona’s eyes flitted around her surroundings in a quick perusal of their settings before she clutched at her friends upper arm and relocated them into a nearby attending’s lounge and unknowingly out of the ortho surgeons earshot.

“Callie’s back.”

“Oh, yeah I know. She consulted on a case this morning. Why didn’t you tell me she was coming for a visit?”

“No, April. I mean Callie’s BACK back.”

“Um, I KNOW know? Are you feeling alright? I just told you I saw her earlier. We had a patient…? Talk about a shock. I didn’t even know she was here until she was THERE. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Am I- never mind.” Blue eyes rolled at the conversational maze this announcement seemed determined to travel. “Callie is BACK back, April. BACK in my life…” At the continued look of befuddlement a now wide eyed Arizona tried once more. “Baaack in my orbit….”

“Your orbit?” April brows furrowed deeper as she spoke. “Are we in space now? Because we were just fishing-”

“Oh my God. Callie is back to stay and I hope to have her back in my life and my bed as well.”

“Oh. OH! OH MY GOD! YAY!” She grabbed the blonde and hugged her tightly. “When did that happen? And why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell you because technically it hasn’t happened yet.”

Releasing the fetal surgeon from the embrace, April huffed in frustration.

“It didn’t-You know, you’ve kind of got a whole blonde thing going on today,” her hand trailed the air up and down in front of her friends body for emphasis. “Because talking to you didn’t used to be so confusing.”

“Argh! Callie came to my house last night with Sofia-”

“Aww. How is Sofia? You must be SO happy to finally have her back-”

“April! Focus! Of course I’m glad to have Sofia back! I’m thrilled! But Callie showed up and told me she broke up with Penny and she came back here for me. For ME. Can you believe that? She came back for ME, April. Because she missed me, she missed being with me and she wants us to try again. She wants to be with me. This is definitely one of the happiest days of my life! First I get Sofia back and now maybe Callie too!”

“Wow. that’s… wow. I’m so happy for you Arizona.”

“Me too. Me too. I can’t tell you how much .Thank you April. For being happy for me. You’re a good friend.”

“True. So what are you going to do about Carina?”

“Who? Oh! Nothing. Nothing. I mean Carina’s nice and all, and being with her was fun, but this is Callie we’re talking about. CALLIE.”

“So much for the hot Italian sex.”

Arizona scoffed. “Doesn’t even come close to the incredibly amazing sex with the woman of my dreams.”

“Ooh, are you taking about me?” Carina appeared through the opened doorway and maneuvered her way into the friends conversation, hijacking it to her favor, her cocked eyebrow reflective of the hope in her voice.

“Uh, I gotta…” April thumbed over her shoulder while her eyes flitted between the former lovers. “Bye.” Not wanting any part of THAT conversation, she turned abruptly and scurried away, hurrying right past Callie who quickly turned her back to the trauma surgeon before she could be noticed.

“Did I say something wrong?” Carina’s eyes watched April’s retreat before turning back to the fetal surgeon.

“Um, no, she just had a patient.”

“Oh. Then I am glad, because now I can have you all to myself.”

Carina stepped closer and Arizona instinctively took two steps back.

“Uh, Carina, I told you last night, this wasn’t going to happen anymore. We’re over.”

“Ah, but you’ve told me lots of things in the night, no?”

Carina? Callie’s mind searched the name. Ah, DeLuca’s sister and an obvious conquest.

“None of which I’ve meant as seriously as what I told you last night.”

“Is this about the bone doctor?”

“Callie. Her name is Callie. And yes it’s about her- well, US. She’s back now and she wants to try again-”

“I want to try again.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t. At least not with YOU, anyway.”

“Is this because of my relations with Owen?”

Callie’s eyes grew wide at the revelation of a love triangle and it’s participants as she hovered in the hallway outside of the attending lounge while the women conversed. She briefly wondered how in the Hell anyone who would lay claim to sanity could be torn between Arizona Robbins and the ginger haired former chief who’s exaggerated show of passion apparently included the act of gnawing at his partners face in lieu of a simple kiss. Even in a bizzaro world of alternate universes Callie would be adversed to traveling THAT road, she mused. Especially if given the option of the softer more feminine curves of her former wife.

As she contemplated that, Arizona’s earlier harsh words mingled with her own mental description of the male trauma surgeon and echoed through her mind and somewhere within, a sprig of insight became fertilized. Ginger haired former chief? Red Headed Devil? Wait. Was it- could it be possible that Penny hadn’t been the intended recipient of those depictions at all, but rather their ex-boss himself? After all, given the circumstances that made greater sense and the more Callie thought about it the more convinced she became.

“I told you, this is about Callie and I possibly being together again,” The ortho surgeon’s mind pulled focus just in time to hear.

“I don’t want to lose you,”

“I’m sorry.”

"You could invite her to join us.”

Two sets of eyes went wide at that. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You Americans,” Carina shook her head and smiled. “Why do you prefer everything to be so complicated? If you desire her, invite her to our bed. The more the merrier, after all.”

“The more the- no. Nuh uh. Just… No.”

Out in the hall, the ortho surgeon thanked God for Arizona’s refusal and closed her gaping jaw breathing in a sigh of relief.

“But I’ve seen her pictures at your house. She is very beautiful.”

“Yes. Yes she is.”

“And I love to experience beautiful people.”

“Uh…”

Callie and Arizona shared a telepathic link when their minds came together at the same moment and both flashed onto Owen Hunt, each woman concluding that apparently the Italian doctor has been treating patients while being badly in need of glasses. "Okaaay.”

“So, three beautiful women together-”

“Is never going to happen. I would never share Callie with anyone.”

“But I insist.”

“And I refuse. What Callie and I have-um, had, is way too special to share with anybody else. So, I’m sorry, but no. Uh, thank you?”

“Why don’t we ask your Callie? This is her, yes?”

Turning to follow Carina’s gaze, blue eyes locked into the most beautiful woman they’d ever seen, leaving a discovered Callie with no choice but to hesitantly approach the conversing duo.

“Uh, Arizona? Do you have a minute?” Callie had mistakenly believed she had been stealthily manipulating her way incrementally closer since she’d seen the doctor clad in pink scrubs approach her former wife, but during her subterfuge hadn’t realized how exposed she’d actually become. Now she’d have to go in blind as to where the blonde stood on the idea of their reconciliation.

“Calliope.” A brilliant smile shined suddenly across Arizona’s face as the ortho surgeon stopped in front of her. “Yes of course. I always have a minute for you.”

Encouraged by the warm greeting, Callie’s eager eyes barely acknowledged Carina before settling on the beauty of Arizona, her features taking on an almost magical glow as she unconsciously mirrored the blonde’s smile with one of her own

“So, did you uh, did you have a chance to think about what I said last night-”

“Um, hello?

"Hi,” Callie gave a curt smile and a dismissive salutation to the woman with the accent, and then continued on in the same breath to her former wife.

“-Because I can come back if you need some more time.”

“No.”

Crestfallen, the smile faded instantly from Callie’s lips, her eyes appeared to dull and her shoulders slumped while her mind became suddenly feverish to find a credible excuse for a hasty, yet dignified retreat.

“Oh. Oh. Okay.”

Realizing immediately from Callie’s reaction that she had taken her reply wrongly, Arizona was quick to amend.

“No, Callie, I meant no, don’t leave.”

Her hand instinctively gripped onto the ortho surgeon’s sturdy forearm to stop her from walking away and Callie felt that connection down to her toes. Trying to calm the suddenly very heavy thump of her heart, she took several shaky breaths and struggled not to focus on the heat from the skin on skin contact but rather the hope of the words that would next fall from those pink lips.

“And yes.”

“Yes? Yes, you thought about it, ooor-”

“No. Yes.” Arizona blew out a heavy breath and with a roll of blue eyes tried again. “Yes, I thought about it and yes to your question.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

“Seriously?”

Arizona laughed. “Seriously.”

“Oh my God! Oh my God, I can’t believe- Yes!” Callie’s happiness got the better of her and she wrapped her arms around Arizona and hugged her close.

Carina eyes flit from one woman to the other in the happy embrace. “What does this mean, this yes?”

Happily turning with the woman she loved secure in her arms, she faced Carina without releasing Arizona from her hold.

“What it means is that if anyone here is inviting any third persons into their bed it will be Arizona and I, inviting YOU into OURS,” she informed, letting on that she had overheard their conversation as she tried to use Carina’s own words to get the message of her and Arizona’s reconciliation across to the foreign woman, who mistook it for an invitation instead.

“I accept.”

“What? Wait-what?”

The offer brought their embrace to an end as Callie and Arizona each turned to face Carina at the same time.

“This invitation you’ve so graciously extended, I accept.”

“Uh, Whoa. Um, I didn’t - I mean, I’m not-”

“I would love to experience sexual pleasures with you and Arizona concurrently.”

Callie’s eyes grew wide as she stammered to find her way out of the miscommunication.

"No. No, see- I was trying- I overheard- and thought I could- I mean-” Her eyes found Arizona’s and pleaded silently for help. The blonde simply smiled for a moment or two, enjoying Callie’s predicament before interjecting her aid.

“There’ll be no threesome, Carina.”

“And why not? Did I have sex with the dog again?”

“Huh?” Callie did a comical double take between the other two women. “What- wait- What??”

An image of Carina and Owen flashed through a grinning Arizona’s mind.

“In a manner of speaking,” she replied before correcting her former girlfriends mistranslated metaphor yet again. “And you mean 'screwed the pooch.’

"This is what I said, no?”

“Uh, no.”

“God, no,” Callie reiterated.

“Hmm.” Carina dismissed with the wave of a hand. “So is this no to the sharing of pleasures as well then?”

“Uh, yeah, no. Sorry. Uh, no offense. I mean I’m sure you’re fantastic and all-well, I’m not SURE sure-” Callie tried again.

Carina tilted her head, her brows furrowed as her mind worked to interpret the words of confusion that fell from the enchanting ortho surgeon.

“I mean you seem like a nice person- and you probably ARE- but there’s no way I’m sharing Arizona with anyone. You included.”

Carina’s eyes openly perused Callie’s frame. “The three of us would have an incredibly passionate encounter.”

Still trying to be polite Callie replied. “I’m uh, I’m sure we would? But no. Um, no, no thank you.”

“Hmm. As you wish. But if you change your mind, Arizona has my number.” Carina winked saucily then turned and walked away.

“Wow. She’s… wow.” Callie stated as her eyes followed Carina’s retreating form. “She doesn’t hold much back, does she?”

“She really doesn’t.”

Callie stepped into Arizona’s space to wrap her arms around the blonde and pull her close once more.

“Yeah, well as much as I like a forward woman, you know the kind that’ll kiss a total stranger in a dirty bar bathroom-”

“A totally HOT stranger-”

“I meant what I said, Arizona. I’m not sharing you with anybody else. Ever. So you’d better get used to it.”

“Yes please. I don’t ever want to be shared-”

Callie laughed. “You don’t ever want to be shared, huh? Exactly how much time did you spend with the italian lady?”

“Ha ha. And no, I don’t want to be shared. And I’m never sharing you either.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that,” Callie spoke lowly, her face moving closer and closer until her lips were mere millimeters apart from Arizona’s.

"Good. Now shut up and kiss me, Calliope.”

Callie didn’t need to be asked twice.

The End

#calzona fanfiction #callie torres #arizona robbins #calzona #calzona fic #Calzona Always - All Ways #anonymous #final chapter

44 notes · View notes

daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn · 6 years

Text

Painting Flowers (Chapter 10)

[A/N] My camp Nano project from April 2014. Heavily edited.

Summary: Dan has come to accept that his psychotic episodes and hallucinations are here to stay, when he meets Phil Lester. Although Phil can’t fix Dan, he does give him something to fight for. Something to try for, one last time.

WARNINGS: Mentions of self harm and suicide. Deals with mental illness, hallucinations and psychotic episodes.

Word count: 2.2K (26.1K total)

[A/N] WARNING! This chapter contains self harm.

<-previous chapter -- next chapter->

Start at the beginning

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, mum. I’ll be just fine. You go back downstairs, the guests need you more than I do, I promise.”

She nodded hesitantly and once again hugged him tightly to her chest before returning to the lift.

“I thought she was never going to leave.” The Captain commented as they walked into Dan’s bedroom.

“She wouldn’t have left if I’d asked her to stay.”

“You didn’t ask her to stay though. Even though you knew this conversation was about to happen. What’s up with that?”

“It wasn’t like making her stay would make the conversation go away.” Dan replied. “Go.” He added as soon as he’d closed the door behind him. “Say what you want to say.”

Oasis walked out from behind him and kneeled down beside The Captain, petting its fur. “I want you back.” She demanded.

“You haven’t lost me.” Dan said.

“Yes, I have. You’re replacing me. Phil is replacing me. I don’t like him, we need to get rid of him.”

“We’re not getting rid of someone I like just because you don’t like him. Listen, Oasis, you’re not the boss of me. I know you used to be, but you’re going to have to get used to not being anymore. I’m done. I want to be my own mind.”

“They won’t agree with that.” The Captain said. To anyone else, that would’ve sounded vague, but Dan understood. He knew the other voices wouldn’t agree with this decision, but they didn’t agree with anything he wanted really bad. It wasn’t like he didn’t expect that. He expected this fight, too. The Captain and Oasis were bound to both throw their temper tantrums over this, and Dan did not care. He would choose Phil over them any day, even though he wouldn’t directly tell them that. He’d tell them that in a more careful manner though.

The option of a medication change was becoming more and more appealing with every passing day, and the voices and characters all knew that it was bound to happen one day. There was no way of stopping it, but that wouldn’t keep them from trying their hardest to make him change his mind. They knew putting up a fight would mess with Dan’s mind nonetheless, as his mind didn’t exactly have a very strong defence system. The best way to break something down was from the inside out, and they were in the perfect position to do just that.

“You still don’t get it, do you? You need us, we need you. It’s as simple as that. When are you finally going to give in? Ever since that Phil guy showed up you’ve been trying to rebel against the system. You know it doesn’t work that way, you can’t just wish us away.”

“I can try.” Dan attempted to make those three words his ‘end of discussion’, but The Captain was not finished with him yet.

“I’m not letting you do this. I will call backup if you don’t let go of your delusional ideas right away.”

“Delusional ideas? Cap’, your entire existence is a result of me being delusional. I’m done trying to deny that it’s them and not me. You don’t exist. You’re just in my head. We both know that. Trust me, if I was able to just wipe you out by ‘letting go of my delusional ideas’, I would’ve done that a long time ago. But as you just said, it doesn’t work that way.”

“You know what’s going to happen next.”

“I do.”

It didn’t take them long. Hundreds of voices and dozens of hallucinations quickly got him to budge and make his way over to the bathroom. It wasn’t like other times. This time he felt he was truly present in the room, unlike other times, when he felt like he was kind of floating above the whole scene, watching the madness unfold with every cut to his arm. This time he felt every cut. Felt it tear up his skin and felt the blood start to drip out. It seemed to hurt a lot more than usual. He didn’t have to cut as deep in order to feel the pain and get the satisfaction.

Oasis was there, standing next to The Captain. She seemed disappointed. Not because he’d cut, but because of the same reason all the others were there. That was a first. Everything seemed to be a first nowadays. ‘Nowadays’ being ever since Phil had entered his life, from the moment in that bookstore when he’d introduced himself and Dan couldn’t help but smile as he relived this moment. The blade stilled on his arm for a second, but he was immediately urged to continue by the characters around him, waking him from his pleasant daydream.

“I wish you were dead. Wouldn’t it all be just that bit easier if none of us existed?”

“I wouldn’t exist either.”

“Yeah you would. You’d just be… More dead and less alive, you know?”

Dan shrugged, “It’ll always be an option. Not now though. Not now.” He drew another line of red on his arm.

Due to him not cutting as deep, he didn’t pass out or even get dizzy. His throat closed up, but that was for entirely different reasons. He crawled over to the toilet just in time to throw up his last meal from the hospital just a few hours earlier. It seemed so long ago that he promised Michelle to use the rubber bands when he felt bad, and when he promised the doctors to call his parents for help again when he felt he needed it.

He hadn’t even thought of their advice when he’d walked into this room knowing what was coming an hour and a half ago.

Dan continued for longer than usual, just waiting for the dizziness or light-headedness to set in, but neither did. He eventually gave up. Dropped his blades on the floor carelessly and dragged himself back to his bedroom, towel pressed against his bleeding wrist.

“You stopping already?” The Captain contently toddled after him.

“Yeah. No more room. I’m tired, going to bed.”

“You’re just no fun. You haven’t even made up for what you’ve done yet.”

As Dan crawled under the covers, he tried to imagine Phil there with him. Last time he’d slept in this bed Phil had been there with him.

“So I take it you’re not going to go through with your foolish plan, are you?” “Which one?” Dan asked mockingly.

“Any of them, really. Not the Phil one, not the medication one, not the rubber bands one, not the ‘calling your parents’ one. None of them.”

Dan wasn’t even surprised that they already knew about his plans to talk to Michelle about the medication next session. After all, they were in his head and could easily read along with all of his thoughts.

Dan woke up with a horrible headache and a nauseous feeling. He rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, pressing his hands against his eyes to keep the light from blinding him. The blades were still on the floor and he carelessly kicked them to the side. It felt like he was terribly hungover, even though he hadn’t had any alcohol. He washed his arm under the cool water from the tap and carefully dried it off with a clean towel.

“Might as well pick that blade back up while you’re at it anyway. As long as you’re not going to give up, we’re not going to either.”

And that was it for Dan. He ran out of the room without bothering to put on a jumper first and went straight to his parents’ room on the first floor. His mum just walked out, just putting on her silver watch. “Morning.” She greeted. “You’re up early. I thought you weren’t going to go to school for a few days.”

“I’m not. Mum, can you call Michelle for me?”

“Why honey, is something wrong.”

“Oh yeah, many things. Can you call her, please?”

His mother pulled out her phone and dialled the number of his psychiatrist. “Do you want her to come over or do you want to go visit her?”

“I’ll get a cab. Tell her I’ll get a cab.”

“Don’t you want me to drive you?”

“Nope, I’ll be fine. You’ve got, like, stuff to do here, you know?”

She nodded hesitantly and put the phone to her ear.

“Michelle? This is Karen Howell, Dan’s mother.”

“No, no, he seems alright, I think. He, um, do you have a spot for him today?”

“That would be great, thank you, I’ll tell him that.”

When she hung up the phone she turned to him. “She’s got time for you in one hour. I suggest you get breakfast and then take a cab, that okay? Are you alright?”

Dan nodded. “Breakfast sounds good and yes I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Go do work things, I’ll be fine, promise.”

She kissed his forehead before leaving.

Now that Dan had pulled himself together, he went back upstairs, put on a hoodie and went to the ground floor. The characters and voices were hard to ignore. Very hard. Especially when he was putting on his hoodie, standing so close to the bathroom where his blades were still scattered all over the floor.

Down in the lobby things were a little better, but he still stayed far away from all of the knives in the kitchen when he went to get breakfast. Fortunately, Clayton handed him a bowl of cereal with a spoon, and he went to sit in the lobby to eat. He watched the guests gradually come down, a lift full of them each time the doors opened, and watched them walk over to the dining room. It was still early, but many of them wanted to make the most of their holiday to London and went out to visit museums as early as the opening hours allowed them.

Both Dan and the driver were silent the entire cab ride to the hospital, up until two blocks away, when the driver finally asked him what he was going to the hospital for.

“Have to meet with someone, a doctor, kind of.” He said. “Nothing serious.” He quickly added.

Dan only had to knock once before he heard Michelle call him inside. He pushed the door open, stepped into the room, and closed it behind him. “Morning.” He said. “Sorry to call you in like this.”

“It’s alright, I had a client before you so it’s not like you woke me up.” She smiled. “What can I do for you today?”

“Last time I was in hospital, like on the ward, you told me I could try…” They were all screaming at this point. Dan couldn’t hear his own voice anymore and wasn’t sure how to pronounce words now that he couldn’t hear them himself. “I’ve got…” Speaking was hard when hundreds of voices were all trying to speak to you at the same time. Of course they knew what he was doing, and of course they weren’t going to just let him.

“Sorry, I just…” He wanted to scream at them to shut up. To just let him talk, but he knew they’d only laugh at him.

“Sit down, love.” She got up from her own chair to guide him to the one opposing hers.

“I can’t sit there.” He protested. One of them had just put a pin on that chair, did she really want him to sit there? He blinked a few times and after a few seconds he realised that it wasn’t a real pin. He let Michelle push him down onto the chair and he pressed his hands against his temples in attempt to lessen the pressure on them.

“Medication.” He managed. “I want to try. Not permanent. Try.”

“No, you don’t.” He looked up, a bit surprised, but quickly realised that those words hadn’t come from Michelle but from one of the characters beside him.

Michelle looked surprised too, but she quickly recovered and nodded. Alright, we’ll have to try a few different types, but I can let you try a pill from a medicine that works with very many people right away, do you want that?”

“Anything. Just make it stop.”

“I’ll get you a glass of water.” She walked over to the sink in the corner and came back with a glass. Dan took it eagerly, gulping it down in one go. A glass of water was meant to calm him down, but he was calm. Well, he wasn’t erratic, at least.

“Now Dan, I think it’d be best if you were to take this too.” Michelle handed him a pill. “Just chew on it like you would with any other food, okay?”

He didn’t question her. The screaming was worse than ever, all were objecting to the pill he was about to take, trying to get him to throw it away, as far from him as he could. He put the pill in his mouth and chewed. It didn’t take him long to realise what this pill did. It made him weak and sleepy, but he kept chewing nonetheless. A few seconds after he’d swallowed it he completely blacked out.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #phan angst #painting flowers #trigger warning #tw self harm #self harm #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fiction

9 notes · View notes

x0401x · 7 years

Text

Gakuen K Drama CD: Evacuation Drills – Case of Second Year Class E

Raw version here. Please feel free to message me about possible corrections. Warning: this drama has an elaborate punchline that simply cannot be properly adapted to English, so please see the end of the post for clarification.

Misaki: Gakuen K ~Wonderful School Days~ V Edition – Bonus Drama CD. Evacuation Drills – Case of Second Year Class 1.

Misaki: This is bad! I’m really late! Dammit! That woman! Crouching down in the middle of the road! *pants* I was sure she was feeling unwell, and while I was at loss on whether I should talk to her or not, ten minutes went by! In the end, it seems she was just waiting for someone! AH!! Isn’t it already time for homeroom to start?! *pants* At least I gotta make it in time for the last hour! *pants*

Kuro: Fushimi. If I’m correct, you were a member of the Committee, right?

Saruhiko: Ahn? That’s right.

Kuro: About the homeroom of just now, I have something to ask about the evacuation drills that Anna-sensei mentioned. If you’re a Committee member, you also work during the evacuation drills, right?

Saruhiko: Ah, what is it... that you want to ask?

Kuro: It’s my first evacuation drill in this academy. I want you to tell me about the evacuation system. Do you use the outer stairs? The inner ones? And also—

Misaki: D’AAAAAH!! *pants* Looks like I made it to the last hour somehow! Haaah! So hooot! *pants*

Kuro: Yata. It seems Anna-sensei thought you were absent without authorization and took note of it on her account book.

Misaki: Ah... S-Seriously?! It couldn’t be that she... gave me additional homework or something, right?

Kuro: If you’re curious, you can just ask. *sigh* Well, anyways. About the homeroom, it seems the two hours of PE were changed from soccer to indoor ping-pong, so beware.

Misaki: HAAH?? “Ping-pong”?! I came here looking forward to soccer and it’ll be ping-pong?! Out of all things, that tiny-ass game won’t be nearly enough!!

Kuro: And after that, we’ll have evacuation drills in the afternoo—

Misaki: It’s impossible that they’ve cancelled soccer!! What have I even come for today!? If it’s for something like this, it would have been better if I’d come super late and headed straight to the club room!

Saruhiko: How about you try studying a little? Well... for an idiot who only has a brain to move his body around, earnestly paying attention to class would serve as nothing but a lullaby, though.

Misaki: What did you say?!

Saruhiko: Hah! It’s the truth, right? I’ve never seen you awake and seriously listening to any lesson, after all. *gasp* Ah, I see...! It’s because, with that head of yours, you can’t understand classes even if you stay awake. If so, then it might be the right choice to use them as sleep time.

Misaki: Saru! You’re always, always talking so sarcastically... I’m not asleep all the time. I’m simply focusing on the lessons with my eyelids closed!

Saruhiko: Heeeh?

Misaki: WHAT’S WITH THAT SMIRK!?

Kuro: So it’s begun? I’ve got no choice. I’ll ask someone else about the evacuation drill.

Misaki: The meat and yakisoba bread I had for lunch was delicious... but... the gyuudon bread also looked tasty... Guess I’ll have that for tomorrow. Haah... the sunlight is warm on my back... so nice~... *snores*

[Alarm sounds]

Misaki: W-What?? A-A FIRE?!

Kuro: It’s started, huh? The hypothetical source is... the science room?

Misaki: W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-What do we do!? That’s right! At times like this, if I’m not wrong, we’re supposed to follow the O-Ka-Shi-Mo! Huh? “O-Ka-Shi-Mo”? What was O-Ka-Shi-Mo supposed to mean?!? If... you’re a man, you gotta gather up even the guys you don’t know or have never talked to and save everyone! I’m certain that was what it stood for. But there’s no one I don’t know. The people her are all my classmates. I gotta protect everyone! Wait, those guys...! HEY, YOOOU!! STUPID BASTARDS! What’re you messing around for?! Do you get what kinda situation we’re in right now?! There’s a lot of people that would be sad if you died! You have family and friends that are precious to you, right?! You okay with making them cry?! There’s no way you are, right?! Protecting yourselves is the same as protecting them! Got that?! If you did, all of you, line up!

Saruhiko: *chuckles* That guy... is a true idiot.

Kuro: To think Yata would be so serious about the training... he has a wonderful form of thinking. From his usual attitude and behavior, I had thought he was but an unsteady guy... so this side of him existed?

Misaki: Alright! Everyone’s properly lined up! You’d better close your mouths! It’d be awful if you breathed smoke. HEY! You over there! Didn’t you hear me saying to close your mouth? What? You forgot your handkerchief? No choice, then. Use mine! I’m fine! It’s frustrating, but just as Saru says, my body’s resistance is my only valuable asset. Then, we’re leaving! I’ll take all of you to a safe place!

Okay, it seems the fire hasn’t spread much yet... If I’m not wrong, they said the source was... the science room, right? Let’s avoid it and head to the ground floor! But, man, it’s hot. So the temperature is rising because of the fire?

Saruhiko: Keh. “The temperature is rising because of the fire”? It’s just your brain making that up.

Misaki: Hey, Kamamoto! Why have you been looking at me with wet eyes since earlier? Ah? You didn’t know I had this much talent for leadership? It’s obvious that the next captain of the Red Club will be me? Stupid!! It’s not time to be talking about something like that! Damn! What an imprudent bastard... and you, Saru! What’re you grinning all alone for?! Could it be... you’re excited about the sudden fire?

Saruhiko: Nooope, nope. Don’t mind me and just move on... Leader-san.

Misaki: You...!

Kuro: Stop, Yata.

Misaki: Grrr...!

Kuro: So you were that heated? In these circumstances, we must follow the O-Ka-Shi-Mo, and act orderly until the end.

Misaki: That’s right... if it were the usual, I’d have hit him, but... this is an emergency. If you’re a man, you gotta gather up even the guys you don’t know or have never talked to and save everyone! Even if it’s someone you dislike, that doesn’t count as reason to abandon them.

Kuro: Yeah. That’s a great thinking.

Saruhiko: Hmph.

Misaki: *pants* We’ve finally arrived at the ground floor... everyone’s okay, right? No one got separated, right?

Kuro: It’s fine. Everyone’s assembled.

Misaki: Is that so? That’s good! But... the other classes are late... we’re still the only ones that have come here? Mikoto-san... Totsuka-san... they didn’t get caught in the fire, right?

Saruhiko: If the fire’s outbreak was from the science room, those people must have gotten caught up in the evacuation after the classroom assembled.

Misaki: That’s right... Totsuka-san kinda has some bad luck, and Mikoto-san naps a lot, so he might notice the fire too late... AGH!! I’m really worried! I’ll take a look at the situation right now—

Kuro: You can’t. “No pushing, sitting around, talking or going back”. These are the ironclad rules of evacuations, right?

Misaki: Aah...?

Kuro: You’ve managed to act so promptly that you could be the number one in the academy and evacuated all of us. What will you gain from breaking the regulations at the very last second?

Misaki: Yatogami... you’re a pretty heartless fellow. “No pushing, sitting around, talking or going back”? I don’t know any of those “ironclad rules”! During evacuations, we should follow the O-Ka-Shi-Mo, right?! There are times when a man has to do this!

Kuro: Hm? What are you saying? What I’m talking about is precisely the O-Ka-Shi-Mo...

Saruhiko: Pipe down, Misaki. If it’s Mikoto-san and Totsuka-san, they should be fine. You know better than anyone... that they don’t have the spirit of people... who would be taken down by a mere fire, right?

Misaki: Saru... you... have said something nice for the first time since you were born!

Saruhiko: Tsk...!

Misaki: That’s right! There’s no way those people would be doomed by something like this! My bad, Yatogami! I called you “heartless”...!

Kuro: No... I must apologize as well. It seems I have misunderstood you until now. From your normal behavior, I had thought you were a bit of a careless one. I had thought you were the reckless kind who did not know words such as “punctuality” or “solemnity”. However... I have learned today that this was my misinterpretation. You are... earnest to this extent, and had such an authoritarian side to you. I’m sorry for having looked at you so leniently.

Misaki: Ah, stop~! Being told things like these makes my back feel itchy.

Kuro: No... I honestly didn’t think you’d go through with the evacuation drill seriously.

Misaki: For real, nothing will come out of you saying th... “drill”?

Saruhiko: HAH! Have you fiiinally realized it, Misakiii?! Hah! You thinking that the fire was real and being all anxious was a feast to the eyes! Saying the temperature seemed to be rising because of a fire that wasn’t even happening... you really are an idiot, huh?

Misaki: T... Then... just now, you purposefully...?!

Saruhiko: Aah, me saying that “if it’s Mikoto-san and Totsuka-san, they should be fine”? It’s obvious they are fine. Rather... I’d like you to tell me how they could be burned by a non-existent fire.

Misaki: *sharp inhale* You... bastard...!

Kuro: Could it be... you thought the evacuation drill was a real fire? Even if it’s Yata, no one would make such a foolish mistake, right?

Saruhiko: So, how is it, “earnest and authoritarian” Misaki~?

Misaki: I... I... HATE EVACUATION DRILLS!!!

T/N: About the “O-Ka-Shi-Mo”....

I guess most of you guys know that Japanese alphabets don’t consist of letters but of syllabes. “O-Ka-Shi-Mo” are the syllabic initials of the rules Kuro cited as essential to evacuation drills; a shortened version of the phrase meant to make it easy to remember.

Its original meaning is “Osanai, Kakenai, Shaberanai, Modoranai” (no pushing, sitting around, talking or going back). But Misaki completely forgot about that and made up a new one based on his own reasoning, which was “Otoko nara, Kankeinai yatsu, Shabeta koto no nai yatsu zeiin Motomete tasukedasu” (If you’re a man, you gotta gather up even the guys you don’t know or have never talked to and save everyone). Because of course he would.

There’s literally no way to make a coherent adaptation out of this that wouldn’t twist the meaning of either Misaki’s or Kuro’s words, and that makes me so mad, lol.

#k project #gakuen k #fushimi saruhiko #yata misaki #yatogami kurou #k #drama cd #gohands #gora #my translation

128 notes · View notes

cecilspeaks · 7 years

Text

Ghost Stories

You can purchase Ghost Stories here.

Transcript of the bonus tracks here.

1. Intro

Meg Bashwiner: And now, listeners of every kind: the voice of Night Vale, Cecil Baldwin!

[applause]

Cecil: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Also many other things, several of which can be found in your home. Welcome to Night Vale!

Listeners, honest honored listeners, Cecil here as always your voice to carry you through the lonely hours. Today is a very special day indeed. Today, as we all know, is the annual Night Vale ghost story contest. In which every citizen is required to put forward their scariest, spookiest tale of spectors and haunts. The City Council chooses their favorite, and the winner is, through a process that is truly terrifying in its simplicity, turned into a ghost. The losers are forced to continue in forms that primarily depend upon the containment and transportation of oozes and glob.

Now I’m sure that you’ve all been preparing your own entry for the ghost story contest, since all of you will soon have to stand up and deliver it to the gathered people. But before all of you each individually have your turn, I thought that I might indulge myself for a moment and tell you my own entry to your ghost story contest. Are you all OK with that? [applause] I have no idea what you just said so, gonna nod and give myself a thumbs up and I think we’re all good here.

2. Horoscopes

But first, let’s have a look at today’s horoscopes. Leo? [silence] Leo? [audience whoops] Leo! Bet all your money on red! All those material possessions were only weighing you down. Soon you will be in many ways – free-er than the rest of us.

Virgo? You know that one spot on your back that itches and itches and itches and you just can’t stand it? Well, good thing: you won’t have to deal with that or anything else after tomorrow night.

Libra? Draw your loved ones closer to you. That first drawing you did was no good, no, draw them like closer to you. There’s too much white space on the page! How are your loved ones supposed to love you if you can’t even draw them right?

Scorpio? OK so, I think we all know by now that this is the sign of.. uuughhh.. Steve Carlsberg. Who is my sister Abby’s husband. Now, usually the horoscope just happens to turn out something quite mean for Scorpio. Purely through the unknowable combination of fate and random chance that is the meeting of the stars. But Abby said that the stars had better knock that off! Especially if they want to be invited to their niece Janice’s first ballet fight. So, let’s see how this goes. Scorpio. Things are looking bright. What a great day you have before you! Look how clear the sky, how green the grass how – dumb and oversized your feet look. [gleefully] No really, I hope you don’t trip or rip your pants not even once! How terrible it would be if that happened! But it probably won’t through, so there you go. [mutters] Scorpios…

Sagittarius? Ahahahahahahaha, aahahahahahahaha, aaahahahahahaha!

Capricon? Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood (--) [02:42] tide is loosed upon the world and everywhere! So your home carpentry project will not go well next week. There’s just too much blood.

Aquarius? OK, you are just two dogs in a trench coat, Aquarius. I mean I hate to break it to you, but you have no opposable thumbs, or language skills. And you’ve always been two dogs in a trench coat! [cooing] Yes you are, yes you arrre!! [kissing noises] Now go outside! Good dogs!

Pisces? If you don’t have anything nice to say, try saying something mean. I mean there are lots of options for things to say.

Aries? Ooh. OK, so this horoscope is just a picture of a bear. And next to the bear is the lizard and next to the lizard is the pelican. And there’s a combined speech bubble above them all that says “We regret the storm that took your lives.” And they’re smiling and (-) [0:03:57] some mugs of beer together. And they have their feet up on skulls. And if you look really closely you’ll notice that they’re not standing on a pile of sticks, but on a pile of human bones?! And unfortunately I believe that in this cartoon, Aries – you’re the pelican!

Taurus? No sunshine for you, Taurus! Nope! The sun’s light has been blocked, but only for you. Oh yes, everyone else will walk in sunny rays, sunshades and shorts, wide smiles and hat brims, SPF 50 and a Frisbee at the beach. You will likely lose feeling in your skin due to the cold of a [sinister voice] sunless world! [friendly voice] Good luck!

Gemini? They say an onion has many layers. Gemini, you are like that onion. Time has peeled away, one after another, each of your hard, pungent layers: snap, snap, snap! They (pry) off and urgent fingernails pry away the remnants as you grow smaller, wetter, less complex. Ooh, also like an onion, your odor makes as cry.

Cancer? Well this just says “chainsaw accident”. So I bet that’s a metaphor for something really goood!

3. A Word from our Sponsors

Cecil: And now a word from our sponsors. For that, we have a sentient patch of haze here in the studio with me, and her name is Deb! Deb?

Deb: Thank you Cecil. Today I am here on behalf American Airlines – your partner in the sky.

Cecil: Fantastic. What does American have to say to us today?

Deb: American Airlines is committed to.. [giggling] your safety! And comfort.. [giggling] and getting you into the air. It is our promise that we will get you up there. You will rise from the ground. For sure, that will happen. And you will soar above the clouds.

Cecil: Well that’s wonderful to hear, you know it’s reassuring to know that American Airlines will see us safely and comfortably through takeoff, flight, and landing!

Deb: [long beat] No Cecil. We didn’t say that. We don’t wanna promise we can’t say for sure we can deliver on. We will get you up there.

Cecil: And then what then?

Deb: Oh, what anywhen? Do we see the future?

Cecil: Oh?

Deb: No.

Cecil: No.

Deb: Life is chaotic, and it would be irresponsible to start making promises.

Cecil: Yes, but mostly you land those planes, rights?

Deb: I haven’t checked lately. But if it helps you to say that out loud, then certainly you should do that, yeah, mm hm.

Cecil: Why do I always end up so worried after talking to you, Deb?

Deb: American Airlines. What goes up, must come down. We guarantee it.

Cecil: Alright, well thank you Deb.

Deb: So you’re all telling ghost stories, huh?

Cecil: Oh yes, yes we are.

Deb: Good. I have a wonderful story of a haunting to tell. It’s very popular among us, sentient patches of haze.

Cecil: Oh please, tell it.

Deb: Once upon a time, a nice family of sentient patches of haze moved into an ooold house. They were young and optimistic and ready to start a home, but soon they realized something was teeeerribly wrong. They heard noises in the night. Voices, folky yet slickly produced singer-songwriter music. At first they assumed it was just their imagination, but soon they saw shapes in the halls and bedrooms. They noticed movement in the corner of the parts of their haze that they used to see with. One day, one of the sentient patches turned the corner and there – [disgusted] was a human standing there! As clear as a day, as opaque as flesh. Well, that poor little patch screamed and floated away. But now they knew, [creepily] there were humans haunting their house.

Cecil: Now wait. Humans often live in houses, I mean did the humans own the house?

Deb: Oh Cecil, there you go again. Serving as a propaganda mouthpiece for the capitalist machine that says sentient patches of haze aren’t allowed to move into and take over any house that a human “owns”!

Cecil: Wait, a mouthpiece for the capitalist machine? Deb, your job is literally to be a spokeshaze for multinational corporations!

Deb: Hmph! Hmph! Hmph! How dare you! My contradictions are my own to grapple with. I’m leaving. Thank you for giving me time on the air, I appreciate it.

Cecil: Well it was an ad, and I’m assuming you get paid for those?

Deb: Sure if that assumption is helpful to you, goodbye Cecil.

Cecil: Alright, thank you Deb!

4. Ghost story #1

And now, listeners, a ghost story. MY ghost story.

It begins ten years ago, on a night just like – tonight. Heavy fog covered the town of Night Vale, turning the world into a blurry approximation, familiar landmarks into educated guesses. No stars, and the full moon diffused by the mist into a soft, feeble light from all around.

A man was driving down a dark road, there were no other cars around. And on the side of the road, up ahead, he saw a figure. A figure made strange by the half-hearted moon, a brief pause in a long fog. Now the figure had its hand up. It did not (thumb) (-), but instead gave a languid wave, more of a summons than a request. And the man shivered, for he knew that it was on this very stretch of road one year to the day before that day that was ten years ago on a night just like tonight. The oooold mill, finally burned down. And when it went, there was a woman inside of it. Now, it’s hard to fathom why she was there in that abandoned disused mill, but she was. And the unthinkable happened, without anyone having to think of it at all. And since then, it has been said that in the darkest hours of the darkest nights, a young woman flags down cars on the side of the road where the old mill used to be. And if they’re foolish enough to let her into the car, she stares directly at the driver. And if the driver is foolish enough to look her in the eyes even once – she takes them to her home. A dark, eternal place from which no one, ever, returns.

Still, he couldn’t leave behind what could be a person in need of aid just because of some spooky old story. So he pulled over, and the figure reached out her hand and opened the passenger door and – there was a cold breath, air from dead lungs that the mist curled into the car, and the figure sat.

And the driver was careful to look not too closely or for too long. “Um, uh, where are you headed?” the man said, but the figure was silent. So he began to drive once again. And the fog billowed as he drove, and he could swear that he could see that old mill as it had once stood, leaning and ramshackle. Now, that mill had not been in working order in decades, it was probably just its time to go when it burned, but still. He mourned the loss of what had been a part of his own. “Where to?” he said again without turning or looking at his passenger. And the figure spoke. The figure spoke with a voice that sounded like a body hitting freezing water, like the distant thud in an old house in the smallest hours of the night. [creepy voice] “You know wheeeree,” the figure said. “You know where I want to goooo.” And he did know. “I want to go – hoooooome.”

And he held the wheel tighter, and he pressed the gas harder, and he stared unblinkingly at the door because he knew that the figure’s face was only inches away now, and staring directly at him.

Oh, listen to me yammer on! Haha. You know, I should really get to some of the other business of community radio, or Station Management will [chuckling] just kill me. [long beat] At least I hope that’s all they’ll do to me.

The rest of this ghost story soon.

5. Tamika Flynn

Cecil: But now I have a really special guest in the studio today, who has their own ghost story to tell. She is one of our community’s most active young people, having formed a militia to keep our town safe from corporations and librarians, oh – and she is also an avid reader. So please welcome to the show – Tamika Flynn! Hi Tamika!

Tamika: Hi Cecil. [chuckles]

Cecil: You said you have a ghost story that you wanna share?

Tamika: Yes. I love books so much, and one of my favorite kinds of books is the ghost book.

Cecil: The ghost book? You mean horror novel, yes?

Tamika: You say potato, I say pohtata.

Cecil: You do?

Tamika: Yeah!

Cecil: Pohtata?

Tamika: Pohtata chips, pohtata salad. Pohtata poutine.. [chuckles]

Cecil: But that’s kind of a weird way to say potato.

Tamika: Well I learned English from reading it Cecil, not from listening to it! [chuckles, snorts repeatedly] Anyways. I love ghost stories because they’re so rich with symbolism and meaning. A lot of people think that ghost stories are just a one-note tale about a ghost haunting an old house, but if you look deeper under the surface, ghost stories are really about dead people who are now invisible or translucent beings who interact with the living in antiques homes, so..

Cecil: Very important difference.

Tamika: Would you like to hear my favorite ghost story, Cecil?

Cecil: Oh yes, please!

Tamika: Many years ago, in this very town.. [whispers] there was a librarian! Ooh! And the librarian would creep around the public library, hunting and slaughtering book lovers for sport! Innocent people would go to the library hoping to find a good book, something new and interesting. Maybe a classic of modern science fiction by Octavia Butler, or some surrealist literature by Amy Bender or, oh, maybe some pedantic buzzkill space essays by Neil deGrasse Tyson. [chuckles]

Cecil: Now, wait a minute! To be fair to Neil deGrasse Tyson, his Victorian era romances are really goo-oo-ood!

Tamika: [long beat] Anyways. One day, there was a young girl, a really smart girl. [chuckles] She was also really fit, like REALLY fit! [chuckles] But also smart like the smartest girl you can know. Ahem. And also really tough. Anyways, she went to the library to get a book, and just as she was perusing a collection of plays by the 17th century poet and spy Aphra Behn, she could smell something terrible, like an infection, like wet fur. It was humid suddenly, and she felt something watching her, slithering about just over her shoulder.

But this girl, she was fast too. She jumped to the side quickly just as a spiked tentacle came crashing down next to her, crushing the shelf containing play scripts by Pulitzer winner Annie Baker. Without thinking, the girl – she was also intuitive, like [whispers] soo intuitive! [chuckles] – she grabbed the tentacle before it could retract into the librarian’s protective shell. She then grabbed a copy of the “Complete Works of William Shakespeare” by Francis Bacon. It was the special edition that had the machete taped right there on the book jacket! [chuckles] She tore off the large knife and swung, striking the tentacle at its base. She swung again, landing an accurate blow between the soft small crevice and the hard skin. This girl was amaaaaziiiiing! The librarian shrieked, then with a double back flip – which was pretty easy for this girl… she narrowly avoided the splattering acid blood of the flailing creature and dealt a mortal blow right to its disgusting neck! She didn’t even need a blade to finish off the monster, she just used her fist! Splat! Pffffff! [breathes heavily] True story of the badass book loving girl there ever was! [chuckles]

Cecil: So this is a story about you, right? And how you defeated the librarian during the Summer Reading Program a few years back?

Tamika: Oh no. That story was about my best friend Jessica Littleton. She’s so smart and talented, [high-pitched] I just love her, she’s the best!

Cecil: OK Tamika, while I hate to nitpick, that was a really great story but that was like, [hoarsely] monster story, not like a ghoooo-oooost story.

Tamika: Well. Jessica jacked up that monster and now it’s a ghost, boom, ghost story! Well I gotta go do my math homework, and then we have the teen militia meeting this evening at the new skating rink, so bye Cecil! [chuckles]

Cecil: Bye, thank you Tamika!

6. Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner

It’s time for another edition of the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner!

Did you know that time travel exists? OK well not yet, but we have learned from time travelers that it will be invented in just under 30 years. Now given that knowledge, I thought it’d be kind of fun to do a little experiment together, so. If you are legally allowed to own a smartphone, take that out now and open up that calendar application. No go ahead, don’t be shy!

Now what I want you to do is create a recurring event that starts on this exact day and time, and title that event, well, “travel back in time”. Ooh, and be sure to note your exact location, OK? Now, when you’ve done that, set that event to recur every year on this anniversary. That way, when your future self does eventually have access to a time machine, they’ll know to come back to this. very. Moment. And then once you’ve done all of that, hit “save” and your future self should appear immediately right in front of you!

OK, so do you see your future self? Alright, well you may have to look around just like a little tiny bit. Hold on, hold on. Do none of you see your future selves? Uh oooh…

[long silence]

Well, this has been the Children’s Fun Fact Science Corner!

7. Teddy Williams

Cecil: Now, a look at the Community Calendar. So let’s start off with an event that is happening today. To get in on the annual ghost story contest, Teddy Williams, owner of the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex, announced that he will be offering 20 per cent off admission and double game tokens for anyone who dresses up like a deceased ancestor, historical figure, or departed pet.

We have Teddy in the studio with us now to talk about some of the themed activity going on at the fun complex. Teddy?

Teddy Williams: Hello, Cecil.

Cecil: Hello.

TW: We are really getting into this ghost stories festival over at the Desert Flower today and we wanted to celebrate the spirit of the event [chuckles], no pun intended.

Cecil: No pun understood.

TW: OK well we’re getting into the ghost story.. mood. Over in the bowling lanes, we’ll be turning off all of the lights, and as customers try to navigate and stumble around in the dark, our staff will sneak up behind them and shout classic ghost things like “BOOO!” and [hoarsely] “Hello again son, I miss you, it’s so cold here”.

Cecil: Well that sounds like great fun that people will remember not unpleasantly for the rest of their lives.

TW: We hired some pretty expensive lawyers to make sure of that.

Cecil: Now Teddy, you seem to really love this day. Do you have a ghost story you wanna share?

TW: Well, OK sure. As you know we built the new skating rink on top of the old pet cemetery. And there’s this gost cat, a Persian cat. Super cute like you just wanna grab his little flat face and go [high-pitched squeaking] with your own face against his..

Cecil: Awww.

TW:..but you can’t. Because he’s a ghost and so your face just goes through, it’s just.. it’s like rrow, rrow. Anyway, turns out this cat belonged to former town billionaire Marcus Vanston. Marcus of course disappeared one day and no one knows for certain what happened to him..

Cecil: Oh, I-

TW: Or we do know, but none of us are legally allowed to say.

Cecil: Of course, because we can’t legally acknowledge the existence of..

TW: None of us are legally allowed to say Cecil, it could have been anything.

Cecil: Yeah of course. [whispers] Angel.

TW: So this ghost cat belonged to Marcus, and Marcus was so rich that he had taught the cat French.

Cecil: Ooh.

TW: Yeah. Now I myself don’t speak French, but I do have a Russian dictionary, and I feel like both languages are so dissimilar form English that they must be similar to each other.

Cecil: That’s an excellent point.

TW: Right? Anyway, the cat told me that his name is Peanut, and that he died of sorrow when his master, whom he loved so much, passed from this earth and left him alone in their vast palazzo. That as a cat, he cannot cry, so he simply shivered with sadness by himself under the basement stairs every night, until his body wasted away into such a thin whisp that the wings of death could easily and sweetly carry him off to be with his owner once again. But he has yet to reunite with Marcus and so now he has only lonely immortality and no conceivable escape.

Cecil: That’s heartbreaking!

TW: Yeah. So then I told him, [excitedly] “My name is Teddy, and I love video games!”

Cecil: Oh.

TW: [laughing] I tried to feed him one of those little fish treats. It just fell right through his… He’s forever hungry and he can never eat! Ooo, anyway. So I’ve been trying to learn Russian better so that we can speak in French.

Cecil: Sure, yeah.

TW: And he’s been coming around more often saying something that, okay sounds a little bit like “Je suis triste”, “Je suis mort”. Which I figured out means, “Hey Teddy, it’s great to see you!”

Cecil: Umm, now it’s been a moment since my French brainwashing in high school, but I’m pretty sure that “Je suis mort” means..

TW: “Great to see you” yeah, I know Cecil. Alright well, I gotta get back to the complex and I hope to see everyone out there. Now don’t forget that it’s happy hour from four to six at our bar. If you can be happy for those two straight hours, you get three-dollar draft beers and well drinks. So far, no one has been able to do it. Well, je suis mort, Cecil! Ha ha!

Cecil: Aha, thank you Teddy! [whimpering] Oh, Peanut!

8. Steve Carlsberg

More on the Community Calendar.

So listeners, I love ghost stories because they are so disturbing, but. Within the safety of a fictional narrative. Unlike my brother-in-law Steve, who just showed up uninvited to my studio and is disturbing in real life.

Steve Carlsberg: Well, now Cecil, you asked me to come up to the station to tell my ghost story!

Cecil: What, I did? Wait, why would I do that? Is that the kind of thing that – oh yeah I do remember (--) doing that. Well, go on with your story, Steve.

SC: Okey-dokey. [clears throat] Down by the old railroad tracks, on the eastern edge of town, it is said that if you go there just after dusk, you can see the ghoooooooost childrenn!

Cecil: Alright, well, we should go now, you know. Lead the way, Steve, and all of us will be right behind you, eventually.

SC: OK. Many decades ago, a school bus full of children stalled on those train tracks. The driver – whose name was Mab – tried to stop the engine, but it just kept grinding and grinding. There was noo moon! See, this was before the moon was invented by NASA scientists. Remember I told you?

Cecil: [mumbles]

SC: Alright. Mab probably didn’t know she’d stalled on the tracks, she just kept trying to restart the engine, to nooo avail. Suddenly there was a loud horn and a deep, rhythmic rumble from below them, as the tracks trembled!

Then, in the darkness, came a light. A single yellow glow, small and distant. The light was growing, as the sound of the horn and the rumble of the tracks crescendoed. The children spotted it first. [funny voices] “It’s the sun!” one of them called. “No, it’s a lightning bear!” called another.

Mab kept trying to start the bus, the horn of the train boomed, the tracks below the bus barked and rattled, and the light was so big, moving so fast, and the kids screamed “Traaaaaiiiin! It’s a traaaaa-a-a-a-aiin!” And then they all cheered because they love trains, hahaha! And then they all watched the train pass, clapping and laughing the whole time because hey, they got to see a train! [chuckles]

Cecil: So wait, the train didn’t even hit the bus?

SC: No no no no, see, turns out the vibration of the tracks had made the bus roll over them. A near miss, whew! Well, Mab called the Bus Barn and AAA and everyone got home safe and sound. But. It is said that out at the old train tracks, just after the dusk, on a night where there is no moon, if you put some powder on the trunk of your car and stop on the train tracks, your car will begin to move slowly off the tracks, without you touching the gas pedal. And then, if you check the outside of your car, you will see a series of small handprints on the powder! The ghosts of those children who were on that stalled bus so many years ago will push your vehicle to safety!

Cecil: But those kids didn’t die, I don’t understand how they, like how are they ghosts?

SC: It happened 70 years ago, Cecil, I’m pretty sure most of those kids are ghosts by now.

Cecil: I mean, are you leaving the car in drive, because then it’ll just move on its own without you having to press the gas. Oh and plus, those handprints are probably just your own handprints that form as the powder absorbs the oils that were already there.

SC: Sounds like you’re too chicken to go out on the old train tracks..

Cecil: Ugh.

SC: ..and see the ghost hands of ghost children who all died after bearing on that stalled bus!

Cecil: Yeah, from natural causes, yeears later!

SC: Which is all after they were on the stalled bus! Who-o-o-ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo, spookyy, spookyy! Do you need a hug?

Cecil: No. [beat] OK Steve. [sighs]

SC: Look, it’s very scary, OK? It’s not just the handprints, but if you get there too long after dusk, the sky will be mostly void. You’ll stare into that infinite maw, sizing yourself down and down, until you understand that you are a fleck, a speck, a nothing nobody loser, who will be gone and not missed. Even the stars, for all their mass and might, are replaceable dots, soundless and similar. Even a ball of nuclear explosions, 2000 times the size of our own Earth, and which will burn mighty for millions and billions of years, is an indistinguishable blip that most can’t even name. What is the use of any of this?

Cecil: OK, now I’m actually scared.

SC: [breathes heavily] So yeah, make sure you show up at the exact right time [chuckling] to see those handprints, OK?

Cecil: OK. You’re done talking now?

SC: Yeah.

Cecil: OK, great. So listeners, we now continue with our Com- OK Steve, you gotta, you gotta go.

SC: Yeah, one hug.

Cecil: No oh geez, alright, fine.

SC: Oh there it is! Ah, we did it! Ah, I’m so scared, it’s so spooky! [chuckles] You’ll need another hug later on, (big guy).

Cecil: Alright. [sarcastically] Thank you Steve.

9. The Community Calendar

Where was I? Friday morning, the wooooop will be whoooooaaa and then later, ah ah a-a-a haha, if you catch my meaning, hahaha! [beat] Oh yes, that was probably very confusing for the radio, so. Friday morning there will be nuclear arms testing just along the canyon east of Route 800. Please remember to take shelter inside your car or under a very sturdy table. As lovable cartoon character, Andy the Atom, always screams: “A nuclear bomb is probably more afraid of you than you are of it!”

Saturday night is Night Vale high school’s annual prom. Afterwards there will be a casino-themed lock-in party. Now this is to encourage kids to stay in one place together, having fun with friends, and not being out on the streets drinking and driving. It is also to encourage kids to gamble. Some of the fun casino games featured will be lottery scratch-off tickets, Three Card Monte, and trust falls.

Monday is the day that Nostradamus told us would happen. [long beat] You know, Jeremy Nostradamus told us that this particular Monday would happen and listeners, Monday is indeed happeniiiiing-ah.

Tuesday evening at 7 PM, the Night Vale school board will be holding a hearing to discuss whether or not testing helps measure children’s abilities, or whether it’s already pretty obvious that the electrified maze is just like totally unbeatable. This hearing is open to the public.

This Wednesday will be re-experiencing last Wednesday. I mean, last Wednesday was just so much fun, we are gonna repeat it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over… [mumbles] and over.

10. Ghost Story #2

Back to a ghost story, already in progress.

[dramatically] It was ten years ago, on a night just like tonight. Here was a man driving down a dark road. No other cars. Where are all the other cars? Where are all the living people in the dead of night, I don’t know.

And this, the anniversary of the burning of the oooooold mill, in which a young woman had died horribly, by fire. And here beside him, a passenger with a strange voice asking him as the woman would ask all doomed innocents that stopped for her to take… her… home.

“Oh you [clears throat], you want to go home?” the man said. “Yeah sure, sure. Umm, where is home?” [growling] “I will give you directionsss,” the stiff dead throat of the figure rasped, and a hand touched his shoulder. He could just see it. Flesh and bone? Maybe. Meat and (symmetry), perhaps. But that does not make a thing human. And he knew from the stories that those who followed the directions of the woman from the mill would find themselves taking narrow, shaded lines, winding downwards and downwards, to a destination and hollow as the pupil of a dead eye.

“Oh sure, well I’m heading into town myself,” the man said, grasping for any kind of human conversation. “Well maybe I can drop you off somewhere – close to home, like the Moonlite All-Nite Diner or Mission Grove Park?” [growling] “No! Take. Me. Home!”

And before he could stop himself, the man turned and met her eyes, and the man saw, the man saw her face crearly. Stop. Stop right now. I want you all right now to close your eyes. Close your eyes and imagine – trench warfare. Imagine bodies writhing out of holes in the ground to die in muddy no man’s land. Imagine a plane in a thunderstorm where the whole of the universe becomes nothing but lightning and quake.

Imagine closing yourself into your bedroom at night and seeing the shadow imprints of your eyelids after you’ve closed the door. A hunched figure at the end of the hall, flopping around on the floor, in a sheet and muling.

Imagine pulling into your driveway in the dead of night and seeing, you think – but did you? – a grey face with a crude smile peeking from your bedroom window. Imagine being home alone in the middle of a vast nowhere. [click] And the power goes out. And it’s a long, long night until sunrise. Be quiet for just a few moments, and imagine all of this.

Now imagine the face of the woman in the car. Yes. Yes. That is it. Exactly that. [growling] “Tuuuuurn heeeere,” she said, incdicating a dark narrow side road, its pavement cracked and buckling, a side road he had never seen before. [increasingly scary voice] “Tuuuuuurn heeeere, take meee hoooooooooommmmme”. And without knowing why he did it, or where the path would lead, he turned down that side road and left the main road behind.

11. A Public Service Annoucement

The finale of my story coming up. But first, a public service announcement.

After a few recent wildfires, the Night Vale Fire Department would like to remind our listeners about fire safety. They began a new campaign to help parents talk to their kids about this important civic issue. The campaign is called “Your Treachery Has Been Noted”. And the mascot is this adorable cartoon vulture with a camera for a face.

Fire chief Ramona Incarna(-) that it’s important for parents to teach their kids about the three R:s of fire prevention: relent, renounce, repent! She said that most common house fires and wildfires are started by your kids. And here she pointed straight at you! And then she said, “Those children came from your body!”

And then she retched. Sorry.

As part of the campaign, the Fire Department issued a pamphlet to help parents with the education business. Now this pamphlet is adorned with colorful drawings of pyramids and floating eyes, you know, to make it more relatable to teens. And these pamphlets will be distributed to all Night Vale Public School students via repeating audio loops while they sleep.

12. Pamela Winchell

So, because the ghost stories competition is such an important event in our town, Night Vale’s Mayor has sent her Director of Emergency Press Conferences, Pamela Winchell, here to deliver an emergency press conference. So please welcome Pamela Winchell!

Pamela Winchell: Hello, Cecil! Hello, people of Night Vale! Hello, people or whatever of space, who are receiving this long-ago podcast millions of light years away, millions of years in the future. Hello, mutant hollow-eyed child in the dark corner of the radio studio!

Cecil: Oh my god! What.. But..

PW: He’s cute right?

Cecil: I ha- I have never noticed him before. [long beat] [whispers] Pamela!

PW: [whispers] Yes?

Cecil: [whispers] He’s staring right at me!

PW: [whispers] That’s what he does!

Cecil: [whispers] He’s horrifying! Is he a ghost?

PW: [normal voice] You can tell by his grey complexion and glowing yellow eyes and complete lack of facial expression, he is not a ghost. That, my friend, is one of the undead hollow-eyed messanger children from City Council.

Cecil: How long has he been here?

PW: Probably since the last time City Council issued a press release.

Cecil: But that was like a month ago!

PW: Well you answered your own question there, didn’t ya? Cecil, you are supposed to send the undead messenger children home when you’re done with them. If you don’t, they’ll just hang around in the dark watching you all slack-faced. I mean, kids are innocent but they aren’t very smart!

Cecil: So he won’t like hurt me, right?

PW: [singsong] I never said that!

Cecil: [laughing hysterically] Aahahaa, hahaha, he-hey there little guy! What’s your name?

[music]

PW: Oh, that was my grandfather’s middle name! [chuckles]

Cecil: How do you even spell that?

PW: Oh, B-U-M-P-F-B-U-M-B-F-F-F-G-G-G-W-silent Q. It’s Welsh. Also, my grandfather was a bird. He is no longer with us.

Cecil: Oh, I’m so sorry for you loss.

PW: What? Why?

Cecil: I mean your grandfather passing away and..

PW: It was just a bird. Calm down, Cecil. Anyway, the Mayor sent me to do an emergency press conference about ghosts.

Cecil: Excellent, go right ahead.

PW: Quiet over there, kid, I’m talking.

People of Night Vale. There is a certain rock in the desert. The rock is cone-shaped, perfectly smooth and inverted, balancing precariously on its point. If you stand in the long shadow of the rock, you can see the entire universe in the midday sky. Stars you have never seen before, every. single. star. Constellation spinning out great and terrible forgings. You will understand that history is a myth, and humanity a fever dream, and you will also hear a very dull hum. Really dull. I got bored like 30 seconds into it. [sighs]

But the rock is really cool, OK? It is stone, white and carved into it is the entire text of Gillian Flynn’s best-selling thriller “Gone Girl”. The words are printed upside down and in Latin. Now, no one in Night Vale knows Latin, the only books on it are in the library and there’s no way any of us is going there. So I’m just assuming that it is “Gone Girl” because while I never have read the book, I’ve definitely seen the movie and it’s awesome. I’m not sure why they called movie “Furious 7” instead of “Gone Girl”, but it was really really good! So I’m just gonna say that’s a Latin translation of “Gone Girl” on the rock and not some ancient curse of rare religious relic.

Cecil: OK, is there a ghost anywhere in this story?

PW: I don’t have to say that there is a ghost in a story for there to be a ghost in a story, Cecil. Like 16 billion people have died since the lizard people first invented humans. Ghosts are everywhere, all the time! I mean, I mentioned a desert, do you need me to say that there is sand there too, or cacti, or shirtless 20-year-olds burning a giant effigy and buying 8-dollar bottles of water from corporate sponsors? Of course those things are there, it’s a desert! [sighs]

Cecil: So I’ve never seen this rock, but I’m actually really interested because I loved that movie too. I actually like the book just a little bit better. I’m actually not sure why they called the book “Ms. Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs”, but it was still really good. So where can I go to get a look at this fascinating rock?

PW: I ate it.

Cecil: What- you what?!

PW: I. Ate. It. It wasn’t good, I mean I liked the movie way better than I liked the stone, the stone is terrible, ugh. I haven’t been able to use the restroom in weeks.

Cecil: Ugh.

PW: Really turned me off ever reading Gillian Flynn. Anyway kid, you wanna go back to City Hall? Alright, cool. I’ll give you a ride, just hop on this horse with me and let’s go.

Cecil: Oh wow, I just now noticed that you were sitting atop a horse.

PW: Sure am. See you, Cecil! YAAAAOW!

Cecil: Oh, oh..

13. Ghost Story #3

Cecil: The finale of my ghost story. It was ten yeears agoo, on a night just like tonight. The man and his passenger drove through a road that cut through the low branches of the forest. You know, the (dry) of the desert, trees take strange forms. They writhe and loom, their shape a history of their tortured growth.

“Keep going,” the figure rasped. “Yeah I know the way,” the man said, and he did. Because the road, like this story, leads to only one place. A dark and secret place, from which no one ever returns. “Do you know why I was in that mill when it burned?” He did not. “It was because I loved that mill, and I couldn’t let it go alone. Where were you, Cecil? Where were you when that mill burned down?” “I dunno, I was, I was at work,” the man said. “I I I didn’t know it would burn down that day. I mean, I guess a part of me thought that nothing burns down and everything is forever.” “Old mills burn, Cecil. That’s what they do.” “I know I’m just I’m I’m trying to say I’m sorry that I wasn’t there.” “It’s OK. You’re here noow!” And the car reached the end of its road, the asphalt giving way to thick bramble. And the bramble rose and fell, like it was the hair on the back of a huge breathing (animal) and above them, the mill burned. It took up the whole sky. The whole night sky seemed like it was on fire, and the man, hardly able to breathe through this terror, turned and he met the face of the woman and she turned back to him and he saw, he saw the face of the woman clearly, and her face was gone. And in its place was the face that the fire had given her. And her lips opened into what would have been laughter, and she reached for him with what would have been her hand!

[quiet speech] Listeners… I’ve been lying to you. Or not lying, I’m sorry, but what’s the word for when you tell someone a fiction that you would like them believe about you, whatever that is but listen I can’t go on doing that, I need to tell you the truth. And I will. Coming up. The real story, the… the true ghost story that I have been trying to tell you. But first, the weather.

15. Epilogue

This is the true story. It is also a ghost story.

Ten years ago, on a night just like tonight, a man was driving down a dark road, a man who defines himself much of the time as a radio host. But on this night, he was just a driver. And he saw a figure ahead, on the side of the road, a brief pause in a long fog. But he knew exactly who it was, and he took five seconds to collect himself.

And he let her in. Because he know on this very stretch of road, one year to the day before that day that was ten years ago on a night just like tonight, a woman died. Oh, not the woman by the side of the road, she was still alive. Or she IS still alive. The woman who died was an old woman.

And this old woman did not die in a mill fire, there are no old mills in Night Vale, it had just been this woman’s time to go. And this way of passing was mundane. The way that death always is. But still. He mourned the loss of what had been a part of his life.

“Where you headed?” he said. And the woman from the side of the road spoke in a voice that sounded like – a normal voice, like anyone’s voice. “You know where,” it said. “You know where I want to go.” And he did know, because well, she called him and told him where she wanted to go. “I want to go home,” she said. And he looked into her eyes and he saw the familiar face – of his older sister, Abby. She looked tired because she, too, had been thinking about that woman who had died. Because before that old woman had been just a memory. She’d been their mother. The unveiling of the gravestone had been that day and… There were stories to tell. Too many stories, and the weight of them started to seem physical. And now this, her car breaking down on the side of the road?

“The service was nice,” she said. “I think Mom would have…” she said. “Yeah um, yeah. Mom would have,” he said.

See, my mother disappeared when I was only 14. Abby had just started school, but she had to drop out to return home and raise me, and I thought that Mom would be back at any moment, like maybe she was away on business. Our out for a walk. Or just hiding.

But Mom did not come back, not for my entire childhood. And I was petulant and subversive, and Abby was reserved and controlling and she blamed me for having dropped out of school and I blamed her for just… not being Mom.

But in our adulthood, my mother did return home, sick and sorry to two children who barely spoke to each other in the morning. But we came back together to be with her and Mom… [softly] She looked older than she was. And her face – was gone. And in its place was the face that time had given her. She’s lost many battles to herself. Alcohol, debt, and lack of treatment or even awareness of a mental illness.

See, some creatures have claws, and and and and some have have pincers and and and some have venom, but some creatures have wings. And Mom flew away, when all other defenses failed her. But still, Abby and I started talking to each other, once again, trying to heal ourselves and navigating that dark and narrow path of forgiveness. And then a few months later – Mom left us again. This time for good. And a year after that on a night just like tonight, a man drove his sister home. And she gets out of the car, and and and she goes into her house, and and and he drives away, it’s it’s simple it’s this, then this, then this, then this, then this.

You see, the reality of ghost stories is that they would be comforting, not scary, if they were true like reassuring proof that we go on, after the after. Or a chance to speak with someone that we will never be able to speak with again, but instead we live in a story about us, and about our relationships, and about our families, and the choices of our families going back and back and back. And this story in the same way that a ghost story is scary because it is – unresolved. And filled with symbolism that we just don’t understand.

And family history, after all, is just another kind of ghost story. So ten years ago, on a night just like tonight, when the fog lay heavy on the lowlands, a man drove his sister home. And eleven years on a night just like tonight, their mother died, and it didn’t –mean- anything, but it happened. And the sister stood by and watched it happen and the brother, talked on the radio and didn’t even know that it had happened until afterwards, and there was nothing that they could have done. But still they regretted everything they didn’t do, and when she called to tell him what had happened, they were both silent for ten. full. seconds.

[sighing] [long beat] Thirty years ago, on a night just like tonight I, I tripped on this wire, here at the radio station, and now sometimes I can still feel it. Fifty years ago on a night just like tonight, a baby was born. Oh, no one important to this story, babies are always being born. A hundred years ago there was a war, or not, you know, a hundred years ago exactly but more or less a hundred years ago on a night just like tonight, there was a war. On a night just like tonight 300 years ago, a woman picked up a handful of grass on a sunny day and realized she was not living the life that she wanted to live. She was not sure why she picked up that handful of grass, she was not sure why she did that either. On a night just like tonight 600 years ago, feudalism. [long beat] I think. I’m actually not quite sure when feudalism was.

Oh, a 1,000 years ago on a night just like tonight, a man had the best pear he would ever have. But he didn’t know it at the time, he just thought, “Wow, this is a really good pear. 1,002 years ago on a night nothing like tonight, the same man would have the worst pear he would ever have. Oh, but he knew it at the time, he was like, “Agh, this is a terrible pear!” 3,000 years ago on a night just like tonight, people scraped in the dirt for food or they looked for it in trees or, they reached their hands into water and came out clutching what they found there, which in essence was another day of life, and they took that, wriggling, into their bodies and consumed it. 22,000 years ago on a night just like tonight – trees. That one I’m entirely sure of. There were a lot of trees then. And now but then, more of them now. 103,000 years ago on a night just like tonight, a child felt very bad about something that he had one, but not knowing how to make up for it, he ran away. But then having nowhere else to go, he returned home the next day to a family that had already forgiven him. 100 million years ago on a night just like tonight, there was (-) and stars and accidental beauty that would not be described as beauty for millions of years, and colors that were not colors just yet, just a different type of light.

And millions of years later, a man would drive his sister home because he loved her, and because it was their story to tell, they were living in a ghost story that did not have the comfort of fear, but merely a dull ache and tangle, at the heart of it. And millions of years before that, a volcano erupted and for just one moment, it looked like a fountain of jewels, but no one was around to see it happen. And hundreds of millions of years later, there would be babies born at every moment and everyone would see everything happening and it would always be so loud, but millions upon millions of years ago, before ghost stories, before even stories, it was quiet sometimes, sometimes it was quiet for a long time. Hundreds of millions of years ago it was very, very quiet for a very long time.

[long silence] And then of course, there was small talk. Laughter and love. Love of every kind. And getting to sit next to your sister, watching her daughter, your niece, in her first ever ballet fight. Feeling – lucky to be haunted by the family that you have. Huh. Well. That’s my story submission.

And it looks like I got it in just in time, as the City Council indicates that the ghost story competition is coming to a close, and they will announce their dinner very soon. Win-winner! Winner! They will announce the winner very soon, that’s yeah mm hm, yeah.

Stay tuned next for that uncertain moment of silence between the last word spoken and the first applause. And from a night that is so much like tonight, as to almost be – indistinguishable.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

[applause]

Meg Bashwiner: Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Night Vale Presents. It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor with original music by Disparition. [applause]

#ghost stories #welcome to night vale #wtnv transcripts #this was a really moving live show #the last part is so beautiful

160 notes · View notes

demi-angel-novel · 7 years

Text

Prolouge

In a forest on a full moon night a woman is trying to escape a creature cloaked in darkness, with its only visible features being it’s menacing reptilian eyes. The area around them shakes from the pounding thunder sounding overhead. The woman appears to be in her late 20’s maybe early 30’s,

she has a brown skin tone with disheveled wavy black hair that reaches the middle of her back. In her hands she holds a bundle of white and gold cloth, housing a baby boy. She continues to run with her body crying out in pain from the intense exertion, but to protect her little angel, she would soldier on no matter what happens. The chase continues with the creature narrowly missing her with its jagged claws, inevitably, the monster closed the gap and spears through her with its claws, but barely hitting the child, and causing her to collapse with a searing pain ripping through her. The creature, obviously pleased with its work, grew a thin grotesque smile as it stalks its beaten prey slowly, only to increase their suffering, the once white cloth was now stained red with the woman’s blood.

The child begins crying as if sensing the coming death of him and his mother. The creature finally went to finish off them both but a bright light envelops the area and incinerates the creature.

“Begone demon”. A masculine voice says.

“You damn angel, grr know this when this child reaches his 15th year I shall return!”

The only sound left was the pelting rain. The light subsided revealing a man in a white and gold robe with giant white wings. Shakingly,the woman says R…Ramiel “Elizabeth, I’m so sorry,” his voice was deep and rich that seemed to bring hope to any who’d hear it l. With the angel speaking the child calmed himself.

“I should have been here for you and our son.”

“Don’t be, “cough”, please take our son and take him somewhere safe … were he can grow up, please hand me Thomas so I can speak my final words to him.“ He nodded and scooped up Thomas and handed him over to her.

"T-Thomas I want you to grow to be a good man and know that me, your father, and the Lord shall always be with you.”

She kissed his forehead “goodbye my son”, she whispered as Ramiel grabbed Thomas again.

“Goodbye my Elizabeth”, with saying his last respects he flew off.

“Ti Amo tanto.” ( I love you both ) she whispers as she waits for death to take her. But it never comes as an unknown figure drags her away. The child in this story is the child of an angel and a human his name is Thomas Di Angelo and he is a Demi-Angel. Ramiel leaves him at the door of an orphanage, “I am sorry my son I cannot raise you. I hope you will find happiness here.” He knocked on the door and disappears. “Goodbye my son” echoes behind him as a woman with greying black hair and a pair of glasses that rest on her hooked nose walks out and sees the child “a baby?"sigh."come let’s get you cleaned and warmed up”.

8~years later. Thomas has grown to be 8 years old he now has brown skin with messy black and grey hair with storm grey eyes and a faded raggedy oversized grey shirt and old black pants with a patch on his right knee, and right now he is getting chewed out by the same caretaker from earlier.

“I can’t believe this we take you in out of the kindness of our hearts and this is how you repay us with this foolishness! Do you have any excuses, hm,

“like I told you he made fun of my parents and stole my book,

“and that’s it!” “But he attacked first.“

"Still it doesn’t mean you fight and your parents they were deadbeats who left a baby on a doorstep. They were probably addicts or murderers,”

“no, no you're wrong,” I muttered

“what was that?” She asked with her voice becoming deadly quiet. I said your wrong. My parents’-

“ your parents didn’t love you, they left a baby alone on a doorstep and this book I don’t know why you try your gonna become nothing and accomplish nothing bad if I ever see you do this kind of foolishness again there will be severe punishments. Now do I make myself clear?!” I grew a smile

“sure you old hag.” Her face immediately showed pure rage.

“I see so that’s how it is well, time for a punishment”

she grabbed my wrist and tore off my shirt and grabbed a whip and struck my back agh “are you crazy?!” She struck my back again my cries echoed across the whole orphanage with each strike I looked in her eyes and I swear I saw a flash of red reptile eyes. After 3 minutes of being whipped, she said

“now think about what you’ve done and I expect no further disturbances.”

She says as she exits. I feel warm liquid on my back as it screams out in pain with a metallic scent filling the air. I felt a liquid roll down my cheek,

"I’ll promise you this old hag I’ll prove you wrong no matter what. Just you wait.”

2 years later~ “ so you guys ready?” He said to the two people beside him one of them being a girl and the other a boy. “Alright let’s go Thomas runs to the bell labeled EMERGENCY ONLY!!! The others are prepared with a sack and a bucket, with a strange liquid spread on the floor in front of the door John Indica

"you both ready?” They both gave him a thumbs up signal. Ok, he mouths as he rings the bell “HURRY HURRY FIRE FIRE!!!”

The caretakers burst out the door and rush down the hall slipping and sliding John acts first and splatters them in glue. After this, India throws the sack as a mass of feather exit out and cover them as they finally crash into a wall in front of the rest of the kids who immediately laugh them, the three kids meet up. “Good job ! You guys,”

“ heh, we should thank you, Thomas.” John says.“

"Yeah your the one who came up with it”. Indica said.

“ true but it was a team effort now let’s see how’re the chickens!”

the head caretaker was so furious she could make a red chili pepper be jealous by how red her face was. Through a strained voice, she says,

” who did, this? Someone fess up now or you will receive punishment.“

Every child’s face paled,

” Thomas, what do we do? I don’t want to be punished. “ John said shakingly,mhm Indica agreed.

"Go I’ll handle it.”

“But Thomas, you’ve been whipped more than any of us!”

I winced.

“We can’t let you do it alone.”

"Listen you two, I’ll be fine Just go, I promise.”

“We’ll be praying for you,”Indica said,

“heh thanks”.

"Well speak!”

the caretaker said still fuming

"wow, I didn’t know chickens could talk,”

“YOU!” She cried. “ did you do this, hm? You heard me! "Oh, I’m sorry I don’t speak chicken.”

“Di Angelo!”

“Anyone hear what it’s squawking about cause all I hear is bawk bacawk bawk!”

I say as I imitate a chicken though that’s probably an insult to chickens everywhere for me to compare her to them.

“You..oh I’ll give you one hell of a punishment.” I gave a cocky smirk.

“Bring it on chicken witch.” She whipped me until night. I walked up to my bed and sat down. “Thomas your back” John said.

“Yep. What happened? Did it hurt? ” no it was a tickle fight what do you think I thought

“nope” that’s a straight lie, my back feels like the devil just burned my back with the flames of hell. John still looked worried. “Listen I’m fine. Go to sleep John, alright?”

“Night Thomas”. The next day~.

“Hey Thomas John said”

“hey I said without looking up from my book

"how come I always see you reading during free time?”

One I love reading. And two it’s tied to a promise. What’s the promise? "It’s involved in a promise I made a few years ago about how I would become something of myself and prove that witch wrong about me. That I would rise up and become something great.”

“Heh, when you do , promise you won’t forget about us.” Heh I laughed, I promise, and I’ll tell you this, I never break my promises.“

"Can I get back to my book now?”

“Sure”

5 years later~ I had a dream right before my 15th birthday. I was in a clear grassy field with a storm raging overhead. Out of the storm cloud an eagle and a hawk flew towards me, and flew in circles around me like they were chasing each other. Between them was a string of electricity. Suddenly, the field caught ablaze and through the flames I saw a figure rise with a dark laughter that sent shivers through my whole body. I felt my head a distant memory, I hid, along time ago. The flames dashed towards me, and I woke up in cold sweat and I felt uneasy like something is about to change greatly.

I’m now 15 my hair has grown longer my hair became wavy but just As disheveled as always I think I’m about 5,10 my grey eyes now have hints of blue in them. Now I wear a baggy black shirt with baggy blue jeans and a pair of hand me down sneakers.

“John,wake up” I shook him.

“Hm, huh? What?”

“Get up, Indica you too. She grumbled and threw a pillow in my face.”

“ what, Thomas?” She said groggily.

“Today’s the day for a fifth level. They both instantly woke.

"What!” They yelled in unison.

“Shhhh.” I said as I held my ears “I’ll tell you the details now”.

“Thomas are you sure about this John warned” John is also 15 he has brown hair that’s combed to the side, with pale skin and green eyes with 4 freckles on his cheeks he’s wearing a button-up shirt with brown suspenders with brown pants.

“Yes, i am. No need to worry,”

“he’s right Tom,” Indica said. She now has long blonde hair with blue eyes with fair skin and a blue shirt with a black skirt.

“This could really get you kicked out this time.” “I know, trust me, okay?” “We trust you”

“good now let’s get to work”. I held up my fingers, “ready?” They nodded. “3…2…1… go!”

They rang the bell the caretaker ran out but I set a trip wire this sent her down the stairs in the path of a clown costume then on the next flight make up and a wig on the last flight was a hat and a red rubber nose but that’s not the end. After that, there’s a stopping device that launches her to a mini tricycle that crashes her into a wall, then after that as she tries to lift herself up I t releases paint that paints the whole place in poka dots, and finally she turns around to see everyone with a cream pie.

“Fire!” I call out and so they relentlessly threw hordes of pies at her. And to deliver the final insult I walk towards her and personally push a pie in her face with happy birthday on it. As the pie falls off her face.

“This is my best work, thank you being my willing volunteer. ”

“you,” she grabbed me by the collar, so you like jokes do you? Then be a jester away from me.“

She drags me to the door and literally throws me out of the orphanage I fall on my butt, ow, for an old hag she sure can kick I hear the door slam shut. Oh crap, i thought.

"Hey old hag can’t you take a joke? I at least gave you breakfast, that had to count for something! Come on let me back in!"She stuck her head out her face was obviously furious her now fully gray hair was covered in a rainbow Afro the many wrinkles on her face were covered in clown makeup with a big bright red smile but her face was scowling. Her hooked nose now had a red rubber nose on it.

"After this? No way in hell”.

“Oh before you close the door can I tell you something?”

“WHAT!” I grabbed her nose and squeezed it.

“Honk! Honk!“

She instantly slammed it in my face and I heard a click after it. Heh, I might have went overboard. Well. I dusted myself off I might as well visit the baker. I think they’ll let me stay a little. I said to my self as I started walking. Unbeknownst to the boy there are two people watching him a girl on the roof and a demon in the shadows Chapter 1 FIRE! FIRE! (Yes I’m serious this time)

#demi angels #novel #prologue #Thomas Di Angelo #orphan #orphanage #angels #demon #fantasy

1 note · View note

strangcrdoctor · 7 years

Photo

A comprehensive episode-by-episode list of miscellaneous sentence starters based on the single season of the Kolchak: The Night Stalker tv series (1974).

All starters are verbatim, but pronouns have been adapted for gender neutrality.

[LONG POST BENEATH THE CUT]

➩ E.01 - The Ripper “They wanted to be successful. They should have settled for being alive.” “For reasons I have never been able to understand, they always confused my clever ingenuity with what they called "high-handed lunacy.” “They were interfering! I placed them under citizen’s arrest - that’s my right!” "Okay… What’s the bottom line?” “I’m overwhelmed by the accumulated dumb-ness.” ”Since I last wrote you the person across the street from me has come back. They’re back to their old tricks, prowling around nights in that foolish costume looking right through me with their X-Ray eyes. Can they kill me with their eyes, or will they only make me sterile?” ”They had the perpetrator trapped, treed, and cornered, and they got away. And later, no one could agree on what they saw.” “I don’t trust you, [X]. You’d double-cross your own fairy godmother.” ”I can give you a sack of material, sodden with the tears of humanity - great reference material, four novels in it at the very least.” “You know the sort of junk we do - lurid, sensational. Got any ideas?” “This will stop a love-crazed moose in its tracks.” ”Oh the murderer promised not to kill anyone? That’s great. That’s just great.” “I better tell the psychiatrist to stand by. I think we’ve got a nut that needs certifying.” “For once be a cop instead of an ostrich!” ”Okay, okay, let’s just take this time for example. Now, they have killed three people, they have jumped off of a four story building and survived, they have been hit by an automobile going thirty miles an hour, and they have taken on your crack tact squad in a tooth-and-nail confrontation. Now, do you mean to tell me you’re just going to sit there and tell me that this is just an ordinary person you can go out and arrest?” “You’re sitting on your brains!” ”If you think you were sickened by the murder of that person, just imagine, just think how sickened you’re going to be at your own murder!” ”Is this all I do? Check on weirdos? Well...” “How could you explain it? Who could explain it? Who would believe it?” ➩ E.02 - The Zombie “What’s the catch?” “No. Absolutely, infinitely, definitely no!” “We had a relationship that was long and bloody, like The Crusades, only without the chivalry.” “You stop a bullet with that cabbage blossom you call a head, don’t expect to ride in one of our ambulances.” “As dead as six ‘44 magnum slugs can make you.” “What did you do to them - pester them to death?” ”Say something sensible? They’ll put me in jail if I open my mouth!” “Well then I envy the dead - at least they’re getting some sleep!” “Yeah they’re foreign alright. [X]’s from hell itself!” “They are dead… but not very.” “Nope, no sicknesses. Though sometimes my back hurts when I hear certain stories…” “Don’t be afraid of this blowhard!” “What’s that crack supposed to mean?” ”Why is my name on their hit list? Oh I ask a lot of questions. Seems like nobody likes that, cops, voodooists, or politicians. Wouldn’t you agree?” “Be my guest… if you’ve got the nerve.” ➩ E.03 - They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... “I felt people should know about it so they could be prepared when it happened again. If it’s possible to be prepared for something like this.” ”You do not reason with 207 pounds of outraged jammer!” ”Oh, that explains why I don’t remember: I was delirious.” “It’s looks to me like I’m going to take some of that overdue vacation time I’ve got coming.” “If you know what’s good for you you’ll disappear too.” ”Why you look absolutely radiant! Now there’s only one thing that puts that kind of sparkle in someone’s eye. Bologna? Yeah, well. Some call it that. Did you have a nice lunch, a few drinks ahead of time?” ”Don’t hassle technicians! This takes scientific precision, a few seconds off and you get nothing. Which is just what you got - nothing.” ”Are you beginning to make the connection? No? Then I’ll have to start at the beginning with the autopsy of the dead panda.” ”You’re going to suck the marrow out of my bones? That is no inducement for me to come out.” “'Have another seltzer and go home and go to bed,’ they said. I don’t want another seltzer…” ”Have you ever tried to report a UFO sighting?” ”What are you guys firing at? You can’t see anything anyway!” ”Somebody throw a net over them, will you? I think they’re about ready for the rubber room.” “Just don’t be stupid, please!” “What happened? It’s all a point of view really.” “As for me? Well, I haven’t heard from the boys in the sedan… yet.” ➩ E.04 - The Vampire “That’s the way they’re handling it. All the careful words that aren’t really words and the blank stares…” ”No, no. Not me. I’m in it up to my eyeballs right here.” “Late I am, but a termite inspector I’m not. Though I’ve been known to bug a few people…” “They should meet my boss. They’d turn Buddha into a chain smoker.” “What’s wrong with “nary?” Well, it went out with “methinks.” ”When I brushed my teeth this morning, you were still alive. But then I started shaving, and the whole world ended for you.” ”You need me to lend you my lipstick? Is there something you’d like to talk about?” ”You’re not exactly Marcello Mastroianni, but you don’t hear me crying about it.” "What I saw wasn’t Kung Fu, and it wasn’t chow mein!” ”I’ve got an in-law who’s got a fourteen year old kid they’re always bailing out of juvenile hall, but I’ve go you and you are worse.” “And if they don’t want to go, close their tie in the car door and drag them.” “If you hate to see me go, you’re in the minority.” “Who would go near it? Only a monster, or some fool looking for one.” “It was a local landmark so I had to pay for another one, and I didn’t mind at all. I just couldn’t think of a way to get it on the expense account.” ”They booked me for murder, just like I thought they would.” ➩ E.05 - The Werewolf “Look, couldn’t I have the flu? Couldn’t you tell them I’m sick?” ”Go! Only don’t let them put you in a wheelchair - you’ll probably start bleeding from the ears!” “They’re coming. They’re coming? Who? The British? The Accountants?” ”Hi, how are you? Hey, put’er there. Good to see you. Hey, let me ask you something. What are you doing here?” ”It’s the usual break-down: 40% divorced, 40% deceased, 10% delightful. Now that’s the difference that we’re interested in, right?” ”Do you do this every time you hear a whistle blow?” ”Hey, I shell out a buck-eighty for a mai tai and I don’t even get half a dance?” ”Next time don’t try to con me - just lay it on me.” “I was down here last night and I saw something absolutely incredible! …Before I blacked out.” ”I’m sure I could jury rig a suitable substitute with some chains and a couple of marlin spikes. Take about fifteen minutes.” ”Getting spliced is not the object, here. Getting your chimes rung is.” “Wait. Let me absorb this. Slowly.” ”Now if you ever need any more blessings we’ll talk about it. You just come on down to my room and we’ll have a little tinky-winky or something. But leave hi-ho silver here.” “If I were you I’d go back to my room, lock the door, stay sober, and remember some more prayers!” “So here the story sits, for good I guess. No one but you or I know the real truth, the real story.” ➩ E.06 - Firefall “Well they certainly take a dim view of you. It’s okay - they’re rather dimwitted anyway.” ”Be puzzled on your own time!” ”You’ll worry when there’s reason? Well start worrying - there’s reason.” ”A god? Well I didn’t think about that! Maybe they’re starting those fires by hurling thunder bolts.” ”Can we please hold this hysteria down to a fever pitch?” ”They’ve ruled something out. Why don’t they rule something in, that’s all I’m asking! That’s all I want.” ”As I was to be taught once again, there are nicer ways to make a living. Far nicer.” “Books are fine, if you want to know the sociological reasons or a lot of other intellectual double-talk. But there’s nothing like someone with instincts.” “It’s just terrible to be broke and superstitious at the same time.” “There’s a ghost trying to take over my body? Oh great, how charming.” ”I’d be more than happy to loan you some money - no questions asked.” “I need the money today. Today! Otherwise some gentlefolk are going to use my kidneys as kettle drums!” “I’m in your desk because I need your caffeine pills. I’ve been up for fifty-two hours straight and if I nod off, I’m dead.” “You want to help me? Oh that’s terrific! You can come out tonight and help me dig up a body.” ”Grave robbing and body snatching are still punishable crimes, so I had to do them by myself.” “So I think I’ll just spend a nice, good night’s sleep in the slammer.” ➩ E.07 - The Devil’s Platform “Fearless, independent, and energetic. Why can’t they be like the rest of us? Timid, insecure, and lazy.” “I was young when I started waiting for that elevator, but there’s two things that just can’t be rushed - anyone who’s paid by the hour, and an office building elevator.” ”Have I ever taken advantage of our friendship? Not yet? Well, I’m about to.” “That’s what I love about you - you’re really into the important heart of things.” “Where’s our White Knight? Getting their Charger re-shod?” “You know they’d once planned on entering the priesthood? And then The Inquisition ended and all the fun went out of it for them.” “They looked as calm as a Buddha, a plastic Buddha.” ”Are you trying to tell me you’re concerned about the way you look? Really?” ”You can remember when I always had time for you? I don’t remember ever having time for aimless chatter.” “It’s not technical nonsense you’re worried about - it’s legal technicalities, flack from upstairs. That I understand very well.” “You know how the song goes - different strokes for different folks. Had a check-up recently?” “Satanism. Power Through Witchcraft. You’re not going to be reading these things on into the night, are you? Well, whatever turns you up…” “What’s wrong with this country? Nobody cares. Try to warn them, do they listen? No. Nobody listens. Nobody cares.” ”It’s okay - God will understand... I hope.” “Sometimes if you want a job done right, you just have to foul it up yourself.” “I noticed they were conversing in a downstairs den, so not wanting to disturb them, I looked for the back entrance. There was none. But, where there’s a window, there’s a way.” “Yes, it’s costly. But there’s the old American adage - you get what you pay for.” “A human sacrifice, huh? Uh, well, let me talk it over with my attorney first.” ➩ E.08 - Bad Medicine “F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, "The rich are different than you and me.” Sure are. They’ve got more money. But there wasn’t enough money in the world to save some of them.“ "Suicide is a very ugly word, but so is murder!” “Well frankly you don’t have any tact. You don’t have any rapport with society. Just look at yourself!” “I saw it, but I didn’t believe it. And I was sure the police didn’t either.” “I want to tell you and warn you - I only have one throat.” “Why don’t you stay a bit longer in the dark room and develop a personality?” “This is not your usual run-of-the-mill caper.” “I don’t care if they’ve got a trained seal that plays La Paloma on a bicycle horn!” ”I don’t know the difference between a Chippewa and a Chippendale.” “Well then they must be a 24 karat chump!” “Alright, let’s try it from the top. How do you want it this time - in italics, or in Press Book Roman, with expletives deleted?” “Don’t you "aha” me!“ "Yes I’m staying here. I’m camping here because I thought, sometime during a twenty-four hour period, like a moth returns to the flame, that you would return to this office. And the waiting was worth it for what I’m going to tell you.” ➩ E.09 - The Spanish Moss Murders ”Maybe you have to brush with death before you can really reflect on life, on the people and times that really meant something to you.” “There’s nothing under the sun that I fear as much as I fear dentist appointments.” ”The total value of their wine cellar exceeded the gross national product of Paraguay.” “Everyone must make a living, right?” ”Are you going to give a statement? Or is it going to be the usual down: “No comment?” “What’s happened to you? We used to call you "mad dog.” Where’d all the sweetness and light come from?“ "They looked like they’d been massaged by a bulldozer…” “Holding out? Me? Not a thing.” “You try to be a nice person? How’s that working out?” ”Don’t restrict yourself to talking. Why don’t you bang some pots and pans around? Why don’t you play a trombone solo?” “I’d love to pick you up and drop you right down an elevator shaft!” “The people in group therapy didn’t tell me I was ever going to meet anybody as un-okay as you are!” “Has the heat melted your brain pan?” “You can take your feature series and rotate on it.” “Isn’t this debasing enough without this ass running around here?” ”I don’t have to listen to this poppycock.” “You been buggin’ me, buggin’ me good! You’ve been grating on my nerves!” “Well, all of their dreams, and their nightmares, are over… I hope.” ”Getting any? Huh. As if.” ”But why call it a theory when it’s really a fact?” ➩ E.10 - The Energy Eater “Now it was dedication time and everything was roses. It was all I could do to stay awake.” ”The bar just closed? That figures.” ”A well-performed autopsy is a joy forever.” “What the hell is that? That’s something that warrants a lot more investigation.” ”I’m going to have to hang up because I’m just not used to that sort of language.” ”Before I say goodbye, could I step in and forget my hat?” ”Are you scared enough to go along with me on an idea?” ”My head is a high visibility asset.” ”I’m a shaman, but I don’t practice it much anymore. Not since we got on Blue Cross.” ”You know what your problem is? You have no time for the amenities.” “You put that thing away or you get a close-up of my foot.” ”I guess it would be too much to hope that you’re finished?” “Any schmo can invent a rabies vaccine, but when will we find a cure for stupidity?” “Oh don’t give me that, friend. You’ve sliced bologna much thicker in your day.” “Have you ever heard such patent blather in your life?” ”Yeah, remind me of that sometime will ya?” “Just rest, and you’ll be out of here before I know it.” ➩ E.11 - Horror In The Heights ”Whichever way you dress it up, old age is never glamorous nor exciting.” “Son, I’ve seen more dead bodies than you’ve had TV dinners.” “We all have rats, [sir/madam]. You should see the one I work for.” “Well old doesn’t have to be synonymous with senile. Just look at how old you are.” “Bleeding hearts? Me? Where?” “You’re going to throw a few brick bats, are ya? Or is that too rough? Maybe we can just pelt them with a few wet biscuits.” “You’re Richard the Lion-Hearted, Patrick Henry, and Saint Teresa all stuffed into one big pinstripe suit.” “Well, they just died - they were entitled!” “Yeah, you’re no quiz-show host. They make better money than you do. Make better jokes than you do too.” “I think you need to have your marbles examined.” “They tried to come at me with a crossbow.” “You know, in your own quiet way, you’re… Well. Yeah.” “Non-sequiturs are going to drive me into a state institution.” “I value my time. If it is your intention merely to be a music hall wag, please state so.” “Why would they take a shot at you? Well, their actions seem understandable to me, somehow.” “Now just a minute! You may be my superior, but you’re walking on eggs when you talk that way, buster!” “I only got one problem pal - I don’t trust anybody.” ➩ E.12 - Mr. R.I.N.G. “I don’t know when exactly I was here last. In some ways it seems like I never left, but no, that’s not right. For at least a few days I was away. Far away, at the hands of people with no faces and no names. They broke me down, at least I think that’s what they did... between injections. Memories fade fast enough without chemical help, and if I don’t tell this story now I don’t think I ever will.” “Why are they happy? Well, you’re in trouble.” “Well, here I go, right into the valley of death.” “What do you want me to do, embalm them?” “Do you know in the old days they used to give this task to the lowest forms of animal life in the office? Some things never change. You should take some comfort in that.” “All that you can be sure of is if that lot were working on it, it was a colossal bore.” “But then I heard an opportunity to return to my normal, comfortable pursuit of crime, mayhem, and destruction.” “Hey, why the cream-puff treatment, eh?” “No thank you. I better go take a few lessons in double-talk.” “That’s all great stuff for the professional route, but we’re not there right now, so why don’t we just talk to each other like two grown-up human beings. What do you say?” “I’m leaving now? Ah. Yes, I am.” “You won’t believe what’s been popping today. Now I’m not sure what’s going on, but I have the feeling that it will make Watergate look like a pie-fight.” “They’re putting heat on you, right? It’s bigger than I thought. Terrific.” “Am I satisfied? Of course not.” “This might be a blockbuster, but’s the Federal Government, and it’s my block they’re going to bust!” “If they get harsh with loudmouths then I’ll whisper.” “I don’t know where to begin either. Why don’t we start with nomenclature?” “Let me talk to them. I’ve always had a knack for the folks in uniform.” “Perhaps, when I’m completely back in this world, I won’t believe any of this. But I doubt it.” ➩ E.13 - Primal Scream “Someone said it was kind of a messy death. Ever seen one that wasn’t?” “Ever try to deal with a giant corporation? They transfer your call here, they transfer it there, they put you on hold, and you’re out in the cold.” “Sure, sure. Their hearts are as big as their profits this year!” “The scientific community is hardly the court of the Borgias.” “Yeah well I called to make an appointment and you put me on hold and by the time you came back and told me to call back my hair had grown down over the receiver. So I came anyway.” “Someday there will be a waiter’s strike and all the large corporations in America will just topple.” “What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on here?” “You see, I’ve got the seniority. I’ve got a lot of experience with baboons…” “Accident? You threw my equipment down and danced the funky chicken all over it. You owe me!” “I mean, that wasn’t J Fred Muggs out there dressed in a tutu and drooling for the public, and playing on a unicycle.” “Put in your voucher and shut up.” ”There’s no precedent for anything that’s happening, so don’t tell me there’s no precedent! Tell me something useful!” ”You might not really want to believe. But you go ahead - you believe.” ➩ E.14 - The Trevi Collection “They were a dealer, a snitch. A peddler of information. Their clothes were as cheap as their reputation.” “What started out as a mild surprise culminated in stark-raving terror.” ”Why do I want to go up there? Because it’s there.” “You mean there’s a market for that kind of crud?” “You might be able to tie me into a story about the person’s death? Oh terrific!” “Look, some of the people like to date kind of rough types. I don’t know, it’s chic. It’s also kinda kinky.” “You can run but you can’t hide… where have I heard that line before?” “You want the police to come and rough them up? On what charge? Reading slowly in public?” “They act like I’ve got leprosy. Heaven knows I’d be safer at a leper colony.” “Oh no, no. I’ve seen that look before. You get that slack jaw, and your mind drifts off, and you don’t even really hear me.” “Dying and maiming were coming into vogue.” “There’s a couple of people with bent noses that are looking for me.” “Good? It will probably be a best-seller. Most trash is.” “Big business and free speech is what this country is all about, right?” “There is no charge. A nominal contribution will be appreciated… Not that nominal.” “Oh they called you a very filthy word. And I tend to agree with them.” “But in this particular case I would agree with what my mother used to say about chicken soup - it couldn’t hurt.” “You could make me important? How? By killing off all my enemies?” “Just what any person wants - fame, fortune, a Maserati…” ➩ E.15 - Chopper “Well fortunately for all of us, you’re your own worst enemy.” “You’re going to be the best, eh? I believe it. If you don’t die of hypertension first. Learn to relax, will you?” “You know for something so routine, they have this thing sealed up like a Japanese Imperial Code.” “Yes, they were beheaded. And you could use a trim yourself.” “It’s for my own good? Oh that’s very original.” “I am sane, I am lucid, I am as clear-headed as Walter Cronkite!” “Save the wear and tear on my ears - I’m not releasing any information. Period.” “It was very poorly cut? So are you. We could make some alterations - take in your ears a little.” ”Well they’re all on drugs. I’m not! Who knows what they’re talking about. And I don’t know what’s wrong with you either.” ”Wax! Wax, you idiot! And some good old fashioned elbow grease!” ”It’s inane. Inane, but original!” ”Those were the days? Those were some days, alright.” “Is that what I think they do? I’ve given up trying to figure out what they do! All I know is what has to be done!” “You’re not even fit to be captain of The Rockettes!” “There’s an old simple axiom about the dead - don’t disturb them for any reason at all. I had decided to overlook that.” ➩ E.16 - Demon In Lace “There’s no law against dropping dead.” ”Do I have a comment? Yeah, but you couldn’t print it.” “Some people dream about retiring. I dream about breaking your face.” ”Ever been in a war? Yeah. A couple of them.” ”One more step and I put a staple right through that neck tie to your backbone.” ”Where have I been all day? Well at the county morgue, for one place.” “You haven’t got a syncopated bone in your body! You walk off-rhythm!” “I’ll sue those seersucker pants right off your can!” ”Another vanishing corpse, and you get excited! Another vanishing corpse!” ”Do you know any Latin? Habeas corpus? Ipso facto? That’s it? Great, so you know Perry Mason Latin!” ”Big contacts, big mouths, big deal!” ”No, no, no, forget it. They’ve got to be exceptionally built, at least an 8. Well, say on a scale of 1 to 10, Mick Jagger in his prime is the only 9 and Quasimodo is a 2.” ”You put a scratch on this and I’ll see to it that you’re ruined.” “If should you ever meet someone that’s just too lovely to be really of this world, just remember, there’s a very good chance they aren’t.” ➩ E.17 - Legacy Of Terror “Among the philosophers, the great thinkers, and the common joes of this world, no question is more controversial than the truth.” ”Remarkable as it may seem, I can attest that the following events did occur. Whether you believe them to be true, or not.” “They wanted me to help with the buttering-up. I promised I’d show up with a haircut, a new hat, and pressed suit… but I lie a lot.” ”As usual - a day late, and a dollar short.” ”Listen, I’ll call you later. I’ve gotta check out this homicide.” ”I’m full of good questions today? Well. Do you know that you’re full of?” “No, no. No X-Rays, no pictures. Nope. I got things in there I don’t want seen. Dark thoughts, evil plans.” ”I’m fine, you just send the EMTs back to their meat wagon there.” ”Why did I arrive first? Well I wanted to be first in line for a skull fracture.” ”Such a shame. The out-of-towners are going to get the impression that the city is filled with nuts...” ”We met? I don’t remember.” ”Well, see, that’s where you come in. You see, credibility wise, you are a rock. Where my credibility is zilch.” ”As far as having dummies in key staff positions, well. I’m as guilty as the next.” ”Over my dead body. And you, get your body out of my chair.” ➩ E. 18 - The Knightly Murders “They were good - allegedly great. So what do you say to a living legend? Hi there…” ”Homicide is a very democratic institution.” “You’ve got a quick wit. I like that. It shows a proclivity to cope.” ”There is however one disconcerting wrinkle to that premise.” ”Alright, I can buy that. I can buy a direct question. And I respect you for it.” “Extricating myself from them cost me two hours of precious time, wherein I learned the only thing more maddening than people was certain educated people.” ”I’m an old society friend of theirs. You know, old, uh, Alpha-Beta... over and out.” ”Yes, we’re thinking about brightening up the office. They are going to be replaced by a Boston fern, and you a snapdragon!” “When you’re hot, you’re hot. And as I saw massively un-seemingly related facts coming together, I knew I was at least getting warm.” ”That person? With persistence they might make village idiot.” “I’ve been watching you! For the past few years you’ve been sitting on your laurels, not to mention your brains. You’re lazy!” ”You mean you actually did some work in between yoga classes and book reviews?” “You’re someone who has resorted to lies and chicanery to the point of being pathological.” “In short, I believe your brain has turned to onion dip.” “I wouldn’t give you another piece of information if you held me down and let a pack of rats run through my clothes willy-nilly. Not if you made me drink the oil slick off Lake Michigan would you get anything out of me!” “Just because it sounds strange isn’t any reason for me to go to the lolly-pop factory.” ➩ E.19 - The Youth Killer ”It all boils down to a simple need.” “What happens then? Magic! Love! …Maybe even friendship.” ”I don’t want a match made, I want an angle!” “Charm, steady work, sincerity. These things don’t count for anything!” ”Oh good, business does come first.” “Well! Where have you been all my life?” ”If Monty Hall can’t liven up a morgue, no one can.” ”That’s the idea! I’m trying to get my identity crisis together. I want to change my image.” “I got this for you. A pin-wheel for a pin-head.” “It isn’t a shrine - it’s just a morgue.” “I’ve been single for a few years, but I’ve never been that single.” ”You don’t need us. You are very independent. You have the confidence to dress as you like, and I suspect do as you like with everything.” “No rush - I’ve got a hangover that could kill a buffalo.” ”Look, when I said I’m in no hurry, I didn’t mean we should spend the day here.” ”Mayonnaise? An old cure? For what?” ”You don’t need my services? Robert Redford you are all of a sudden?” ”Destroy the temple? Destroy what temple? Come back here!” ”You’ve ruined some very expensive statues. Museum quality. And what did it get you?” “Oh. As a post-script, I’ll offer this bit of advice: should you ever find a ring, no matter how pretty or valuable, consider well before you slip it on your finger. You may never get it off again.” ➩ E.20 - The Sentry ”Their detractors said their success was owed only their looks and their allure. Their supporters were usually too moon-struck to say anything.” “Everything is routine around here! You’re getting into a rut!” ”You schnook! You idiot!” ”I like you. I really do. I mean I like your style, I like your savoir faire, I like your directness, the way you take over a situation. I even like the way you dress.” “Preservation through perspicuity was the company motto.” “This recession has got me in a bad mood.” “They’ve got no business connection with nickel - they’re the proverbial bad penny.” ”Only the insane man feels secure!” ”The only things that happen fast around here are accidents.” “How do you know how much my while is worth?” ”Will you just come quietly?” ”Have you ever been maced?” ”Don’t you tell me what to do with my mouth!” ”Aren’t they in prison? No, of course not. They’re on parole. And I have a small job for them.” ”You sucker. You had better learn the tune to that tone dial on the telephone, ‘cause they ain’t never gonna call!” “You know I think all that bicarbonate you’ve been drinking has put bubbles in your brain!” ”Kindness! That sweet young thing is about as kind as an SS Sturmbahnführer!” ”Look, that last problem would have never happened if somebody would have remembered to soundproof the hearse properly. And to put on lipstick! Their wig was crooked, too.” “Congratulations - for shipping purposes, you are now a precision instrument.” ”You know if all the film that I shot that’s been confiscated by the cops were laid end to end I’d have enough film to shoot War & Peace, including a travelogue and a cartoon.” “You do great things for my masculine ego, you know?” “I think [X] has the sense of a tree stump.” “Now are you willing to listen to my insane ideas?”

#''the doctor is out #''tomfoolery #newly edited from its first edition on my old blog #very long post!#kolchak #kolchak: the night stalker #sentence meme #sentence starters

2 notes · View notes