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chasingwhitebunnies · 1 year

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Headcanon that Merlin keeps notebooks and writes down everything - everything - he wants to show and tell Arthur whenever he comes back

It starts off as a project. He writes down important moments, things he knows he will have to inform Arthur of if when he comes back, but one day, Gwen tells him a joke and he can’t help thinking it would have made Arthur laugh. It was a bittersweet realisation, so he wrote it down to share with Arthur whenever he saw him

Slowly, more jokes were added, and anecdotes, books he wanted to tell him about, plays and music he was sure Arthur would enjoy, and eventually films and shows

Sometimes, he writes when he particularly misses him

He keeps these notebooks on a large secondhand bookshelf, and tries to keep them in chronological order, although the earlier ones aren’t in the best condition after a thousand or so years, but he’s enchanted them to stay legible

It becomes a habit. He decides, subconsciously and superstitiously, that once he has filled the bookshelf, Arthur will return. Merlin does, and Arthur doesn’t. He buys a second bookshelf, and then a third

Finally, Arthur is back and Merlin excitedly showing him his collection and telling him there’s so much he has to share. Arthur is amazed, “you wrote all of this for me?”

Merlin realises suddenly how overwhelming it must seem. “It made it easier, not being able to share all these moments with you. It felt like I was sharing them with you in a way. It was like I was writing you a letter.” He shakes his head. “But you’re here now, it’s silly! You don’t have to read them at all. I can go over them and pick out the important parts, the things you’ll need to know and—”

Arthur stops him. They go through each book together. Merlin hadn’t realised how many good moments he had forgotten over time, and he gets to relive them with Arthur at his side, both chuckling along as Arthur asks questions, “you did what?”

They aren’t all nice stories. Merlin winces as they get to the wars. Arthur holds his hand as he recounts each loss of a friend, and Arthur hates to see Merlin grieve, but he’s glad that he made friends throughout his life because he couldn’t bear the thought of Merlin being entirely alone while he waited for him

But even if he wasn’t always alone, he was lonely. The notebooks proved as much, and sometimes Merlin still panicked if he woke up and Arthur wasn’t close. Eventually, Arthur slid into Merlin’s bed beside him, only to keep him calm. It was the best Merlin had slept since- well, he couldn’t remember

Sometimes one of them would wake up with nightmares of the wars and battles and deaths and wounds, and the other would hold them until they fell back to sleep. Merlin kissed Arthur’s forehead one night without meaning to and froze, but Arthur had only burrowed deeper and fallen asleep with a soft smile

“So that was the last book,” said Arthur as Merlin finished the final page

“Yes, I wrote that the night before you came back,” said Merlin

“I’m all caught up,” said Arthur. “There’s nothing more to say.”

“No, no more to say,” Merlin agreed absentmindedly

A silence fell over them. Who moved first, it was impossible to tell, as if they had both decided in the exact same moment that it had to be now, and they kissed, pulling each other close

“I love you,” said Merlin once they eventually parted

“I got that,” said Arthur, gesturing to the pile of notebooks surrounding them. “The longest love letter in history,” Merlin laughed before Arthur added, “I love you, too”

Edit to add: the last show Merlin wrote that they watched together was Heartstopper, thanks

#I might write something for this #but if anyone else wants to then feel free #please tag me if you do because I would really like to read it #this was supposed to be a short post #WHOOPS #merlin #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin emrys #merlin ambrosius #1k #1.5K

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imaybe5tupid · 13 days

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Why bother? (Why bother?) It's gonna hurt me. (It's gonna hurt me.) It's gonna kill when- (Why bother!) -You desert me! (Gonna hurt me!)

Set after Nightmare. Laios is reminiscing and contemplating.

#laishuro #laios touden #i make a lot of jokes on here since part of the fun of this blog for me is limiting myself to only expressing ideas via drawings #as much as I can to try to see what I can try to convey in the limited time I have to draw each day which is sometimes like 15minutes #but laios idea of who shuro was to him and who he continues to be and how it ties into his own feelings of self worth and self hatred #not to mention being so thoroughly defined by having never been indulged before by the men in his life #are so compelling to me #and then of course you mix in toshiros own mind prisons #and their established dynamic of him begrudgingly putting up with him because he feels he has to and bc hes cursed with obedience #whilst laios genuinely thinks shuro does it because he likes it and likes laios because why else would anyone act like that #when everyone else in his life has not hesitated to Let Him Know #this is what is so fun about relationships like this…forever passing by each other’s true feelings like ships in the night #and on toshiros side umineko said it best People are riddles. They want someone else to solve their riddle #they live life wanting someone to solve the riddle that they are #the most difficult riddle in the world #without love the truth cannot be seen sighhhh many such cases #sometimes i get embarassed how deep i get for some of the characters in this series it really is that deep sometimes but not always #but WHATEVER #i never even engaged in or was interested in shipping the several years i read dunmeshi EXCEPT laishuro lol #which i sadistically wanted to stay one sided and miserable forever. I rarely get fed such genuinely fraught dynamics as their one in manga #so i became obsessed #and walked through the desert alone for 40 years and then checked in as anime started airing that other people ship this and gaf #and decided to unleash the jokes and ideas that my like 2 friend who like anime previously suffered alone as though they were jesus christ #now tho as much as I still enjoy tragedy and pain and emotional suffering I’ve let love and peace and requited fulfilled yaoi into my life #with laishuro. and its great!#my comics

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brotherlouis · 2 months

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guys, it's been years,,, I think I've finally gotten the courage to ask... what the fuck even is the plot of the Vampire Chronicles?

#I've been in the fandom for 5 years #running this blog for a few months #i've read the first three books before promptly giving up (as well as reading other Anne Rice books like Cry to Heaven)#I need to admit that VC to me is purely vibes if someone asked me to explain the plot of anything that happens after IWTV #i simply Would Not Know What To Say lmfao #VC is just vibes to me pure raw unfiltered vibes #if anyone has an actual explanation and wants to ramble to me pls feel free #interview with the vampire #iwtv #the vampire chronicles #vc #anne rice #armand le russe #daniel molloy #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac

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alittlelostsputnik · 1 year

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today on my 'can't stop thinking about' wenclair scenarios ;

over the break, enid is pushed to breaking point by her mother. because let's be honest, even after enid finally wolfed-out, her mother is still going to be snarky and disappointed and nothing enid does will be enough.

and enid is tired.

so she packs her bags and leaves.

except...she has nowhere to go.

the addams family aren't exactly difficult to look up, though (if wednesday hadn't already straight up given enid their address).

so enid gets on a flight to new jersey, all the while panicking because what the hell has she done but unable to bring herself to call wednesday in advance because what if she says no? and that just causes more panic.

the plane lands. she leaves the airport and gets a taxi, having to convince the driver that, yes, that is the correct address she wants to go to.

by this point it's the middle of the night in new jersey.

wednesday's eyes snap open at the sound of her phone ringing. she sits up in bed and for a moment just looks at it because nobody ever phones her. eventually she picks it up, and seeing the name on the screen – enid sinclair – without another thought answers the phone.

wednesday is concerned, wants to know what's going on. enid makes wednesday promise not to be mad. of course, wednesday promises.

"i'm– i'm sort of...outside your house..."

wednesday freezes. then she looks outside. it's pouring of rain. it's cold. it's dark.

enid says wednesday's name into the phone a few times but there's only silence. the panic returns – of course wednesday was mad. what was she thinking?

then, the front door opens and wednesday pulls enid inside.

(wednesday had just tossed her phone down without hanging up to run to the door.)

[ EDIT: idk how this has over 1k notes. 😭 but for everyone still commenting or reblogging with "write it" or "i would read it" check the replies and notes for link. 👌 ]

#ngl this has been in my head for weeks #and i kind of want to write it out properly? maybe on ao3? would anyone read that?#anyway i just had to get this OUT #wenclair

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leenfiend · 8 months

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what's ur type first < prev next > full comic

#love my dumb as rocks boys #also considering making a lil zine of this first long convo/scene for fun idk if anyone would want that but i do love making zines #like a physical one #we shall see #still a few more pages in this scene so #im glad u guys have liked literally just watching them sit on the floor and talk for 15 pages #these are the kind of fics i like to read. ones where they simply talk and hangout in between mission stuff.#klance #vld #voltron #my art #wut #what's ur type

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viperwhispered · 2 months

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Eta: you can find part 3 here, part 4 here, and finally part 5 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)