conheaded-a

[conheaded-a]

the scene with con and the journalist at mo’s funeral is so fun and his repetitive “interested in politics from a young age” line is silly goofy, but if you really look at it you can see connor doing exactly what his dad drilled into him. because we see con not only using her in an attempt at pushing his own agenda with his political career, but also refusing to budge on giving her information. connor from an outside perspective is the best kid to talk to in regards to getting dirt on logan, he’s old enough to remember the kids growing up as well as a lot of the scandals at waystar, he’s the black sheep, he’s the forgotten son who surely must hold some resentment right ? and connor has used these things for personal gain against his father ( technically he used them with shiv, talking about “the old resentments, but this is a bluff considering all of his discussions with ken “stop trying to kill pop”. ) connor is so fiercely loyal to his family and holds so much love for them that he wouldn’t say anything anyway, but you also know growing up logan made it very clear the only time you speak to journalists is if “we” schedule it.

[conheaded-a]

looking at con and willa, looking at their wedding, con who has only ever known love as money, con who just wants his father at his wedding, con —

[conheaded-a]

he is not argumentative by nature. not with family, not when he knows he cannot win. but there are times when brotherly instinct becomes more akin to fatherly. when he feels the need to branch out, to . . . put his foot down, and he doubts that feeling will ever really go away.

[ go away ] sender gives receiver's shoulder a shove, trying to make them walk away or go into another room / from shiv!

he wants to catch @miiseriia as she goes, wants to grab her arm to stop her from storming off, imagines his grip would be gentle, that he would never harm her as long as she lives. but when he moves to do so he halts, his fingers don't make contact. there isn't even a brush of skin. connor knows better, no matter how badly he wants to try, there are lines he doesn't dare cross. instead, he follows. keeping pace with her hurried steps as she flees.

“ shiv, c'mon, don't . . . don't do that.”

#˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ interaction ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎ #miiseriia

[conheaded-a]

really wish connor had been allowed to say goodbye, i just know he would have told logan “you never loved me” but i also know he would have said “but that’s okay” and “i forgive you” and i also personally could not have handled that.

[conheaded-a]

stockpiling memes for when i’m out of town <3

[conheaded-a]

PROMPTS FOR NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION *  adjust as necessary, send 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt

[ encourage ] sender supports receiver with pats on their shoulders and a big, encouraging smile

[ silence ] sender lays a finger over their lips, telling receiver to stay quiet

[ stop ] sender holds their palm out facing receiver, stopping them in their tracks

[ affectionate ] sender plays with receiver's hair

[ braid ] sender begins to braid receiver's hair

[ i love you ] sender signs I LOVE YOU to receiver

[ go away ] sender gives receiver's shoulder a shove, trying to make them walk away or go into another room

[ slam ] pent up with frustration, sender leaves receiver and slams the door behind them as they exit

[ knock ] sender is here to see receiver and knocks playfully on their door to indicate they've arrived

[ wipe ] seeing receiver cry, sender reaches out and wipes their tears away (with their fingers or with a tissue)

[ secret ] making sure no one sees, sender secretly takes receiver's hand under a table and laces their fingers

[ squeeze ] sender reassures receiver in a dangerous situation by squeezing their hand

[ sleepy kiss ] while receiver is sleeping (or pretending to be asleep), sender approaches them and places a soft kiss on their forehead

[ hospital ] receiver is in the hospital, and sender sits in a chair by their bedside all through the night and holds their hand

[ celebrate ] receiver accomplishes something amazing, so sender rushes into receiver's arms and jumps up and down, eager to celebrate their victory

[ food ] sender brings receiver their favorite dish to cheer them up

[ glass ] sender and receiver are separated by glass. sender draws a heart on the glass with their finger for receiver to see

[ rest ] sender lays their head on receiver's shoulder and falls asleep there

[ expect ] sender sticks out a hand, palm up, waiting for receiver to give them the item they want

[ pillow ] sender playfully tosses a pillow at receiver, starting a pillowfight

[ sob ] sender rushes into receiver's arms and breaks down in their embrace, hiding their tears in receiver's chest

[ offer ] sender is cooking for receiver and offers out a spoon for receiver to sample a taste

[ love note ] sender passes receiver a romantic note in secret

[ close the distance ] sender and receiver are seated together, and sender moves closer to snuggle with them

[ montage ] receiver tries on clothes, and sender either approves or disapproves of each outfit with a nod or a shake of their head

[ stare ] while receiver gazes out a window, sender comes up from behind and embraces them

[ dance ] sender approaches receiver and starts dancing with them, positioning their hands for them

[ paint ] while sender and receiver paint together, sender smears a little paint on receiver's face to make them laugh

[ funny ] sender makes an assortment of funny faces to try and make receiver laugh

[ flowers ] sender leaves a bouquet of flowers for receiver to find

[ catch ] sender catches receiver's eye across a room and winks at them

[ refuse ] sender is upset with receiver and pushes away from their hug

[ get out ] sender points at the door, demanding receiver leave

[ snuggle ] sender lays down beside receiver and curls up against their body, quickly falling asleep

[ smooch ] sender takes receiver's face in their hands and guides them in for a romantic kiss

[ fix ] sender approaches receiver and fixes a piece of clothing or jewelry on their person

[ reach ] sender desperately reaches out to receiver with both arms extended, pleading for a hug

[conheaded-a]

me giving con a december 20th birthday, saying he doesn’t celebrate his birthday but really it’s that no one remembers 😌

[conheaded-a]

THE REAL IMPORTANT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS

enjoy!  these have no theme, just a bunch of random but fun questions.

what time do they usually go to bed and wake up?

what products are in their shower/tub?  what are the scents?

do they use candles?  favorite scent?

if they could meet/talk to one person, dead or alive, who would it be?  what would they say to them?

do they own any sentimental objects?  why are they sentimental?

favorite family member?  why?

do they dance?  what type of music gets them moving?

has there ever been a time where they feared for their life?  why?

what was their favorite childhood activity?

when they look into a mirror, are they happy with what they see?  why or why not?

do they still have childhood friends?

what do their holidays look like?  family/friends/etc.

do they celebrate their birthday?  why or why not?

what do they have as their phone background?

what’s their handwriting like?  neat and precise/sloppy/cursive/etc.

have they ever been to an amusement park?  

have they ever used a dating app?  how did it go?

what do they sleep in?  what side of the bed do they sleep on?

favorite place they’ve ever been?  what made it their favorite?

do they prefer to watch a movie at home or in the theater?

have they ever run away from home?

what’s their nightly/morning routine like?

if they have pets, what’s their dumb nicknames for them?

favorite deodorant?  toothpaste?  lotion?

do they sing in the shower?  what’s their go-to song if so?

describe their living situation.  what does their living room/bedroom/kitchen/etc look like?

what’s one thing they’ve done that they’re the most proud of?

would they ever go to a haunted house?

how many languages do they speak?  would they like to learn more?

why types of books do they read?  do they have a favorite?

if given the opportunity, would they go to space?  why or why not?

if the world didn’t rely on money, what would their dream occupation be?

do they play any instruments?  if not, would they like to learn one?

what would they do if they won the lottery?

what’s their favorite method of self-care?

would they ever go camping off grid?

if money wasn’t an issue, where is their dream home?

how often do they cook at home versus getting takeout, etc?

do they have anyone in their past they would like closure from?  who and why?

what would they do for a klondike bar?

[conheaded-a]

WHAT   THEY   SMELL   LIKE  .     guerlain eau ee parfum : leather, oud wood, sandalwood, with a floral hint underneath, jasmine and rose.

HOW   THEY   SLEEP  .      con is a side sleeper, for sure. he is a cuddler, and will be either the big or little spoon depending on the type of day he's had. if he's alone he sleeps on his side or his back, holding a pillow. ( when he was younger he would only sleep on his back, the blankets firmly tucked around him. but after his mother was hospitalized, and he was "too old" for that sort of thing from the nanny's he was forced to "grow out of it" )

WHAT   MUSIC   THEY   ENJOY  .       he enjoys fleetwood mac, had it on vinyl. his music taste is ever changing and usually he just listens to it for background noise. a lot of the time nowadays it's greatly influenced by what famous presidents listened to .

HOW   MUCH   TIME   THEY   SPEND   EVERY   MORNING   GETTING   READY  .     forty-five minutes. almost to the minute, he also loves a routine, so he's very much the sort of person to do things in a very specific order, so once he gets started he's good, but actually getting started ? that's the challenge.

FAVORITE   THING   TO   COLLECT  .     napoleon paraphernalia. he has a tendency to collect a lot of things, his interest and hobbies are prone to change quickly. he also recently began collecting war medals.

LEFT   OR   RIGHT   HAND  .     left handed.

FAVORITE   SPORT  .      horseback riding.

FAVORITE   TOURISTY   THING   TO   DO   WHILE   TRAVELING  .   he likes going out, exploring and talking with locals, he likes going to art museums specifically.

FAVORITE   KIND   OF   WEATHER   .      he likes the rain. summer rain specifically, the kind that you get caught in suddenly, that leads to you running to get to coverage. the ind where after the storm has passed the sun immediately breaks through the clouds, shining gold over the grey sky. it reminds him of childhood, going out camping with the kids, there's something freeing about it.

WEIRD   /   OBSCURE   FEAR   THEY   HAVE  .   is it weird to be absolutely terrified you're turning into your mother ? probably not. con hates hospitals. they make his skin feel crawly, and the lights are too bright and he can hear them buzzing most of the time. i wouldn't call it a fear but they make him deeply uncomfortable.

THE   ONE   CARNIVAL   /   ARCADE   GAME   THEY   ALWAYS   WIN   WITHOUT   FAIL  .     he's not well coordinated enough for a lot of carnival games, but he likes trying to pop the balloons with darts. he's really good at arcade games, he was pretty good at donkey kong. 

tagged by . @cahroline thank u. tagging . u .

#˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ chara study ₍ ₀₀₃ ₎

[conheaded-a]

it's so important to me the ways in which connor is his mother's son.

the way he could have turned out differently had he stayed with her / had she not been committed. we see in the show he cares about the RECNY ball, it was his mom's, and he asks logan if he can have it. the RECNY is a charity and he cares about it because it was his mom's, but he tries to offer twisting it into something else, something he thinks logan would approve of. the same way he talks about politics. he is mimicking things there's no doubt logan has said, he just doesn't 100% know how to filter it. what is supposed to be private and what isn't, because connor at his core is honest. not good. but honest. and a lot of that comes from his mother.

#i'm not saying i have a multi para meta about his mom #but if i did.... #would anyone want to read it #when it's finished #asdfghj #˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ chara study ₍ ₀₀₃ ₎

[conheaded-a]

Send me 🗣️ for incorrect quotes of your muse and mine

[conheaded-a]

#𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝙳  the good thing about having a family that doesn't love you , is you learn to live without it. you're all chasing after dad "oh, love me ! please. love me. i need love ! i need attention ! "  you are needy love sponges. i’m a plant that grows on rocks and lives off insects that die inside me.

ind. exclusive, headcanon expanded 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐨𝐲  of  𝘩𝘣𝘰'𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯,  forgotten by jayne bird ( 23, she / they. ) . exploring concepts such as : the boy who stepped up , parentification , the dog eat dog world , nature vs nurture , invisibility , the unloved , to be forgotten , family trauma , the odd one out , love is money , the heir becomes the spare .

[conheaded-a]

they're on their way out of a restaurant, a formal function where kenny was paraded around, cream of the crop style. could almost assume it was second oldests birthday, at least that would explain the favoritism. but really it's a sign, connor had seen it the day logan brought first brother home: the real eldest boy, or maybe the only real kid. ( @shivawne and rome are treated real enough, though. maybe just enough to keep them satisfied. ) he tries not to think too hard about it nowadays.

“i call shotgun!”

his train of thoughts is thoroughly derailed by the outburst, gaze falls on baby sister, a smile splitting his lips, amused. “ hey ! no way ! c'mon shivvy you're not giving the boys a chance. ” he motions to ken and roman who are walking with logan and caroline, lingering behind to chatter. “ and who said you were riding with me, anyway ? ” with that, connor laughs, bumping shiv with his shoulder. logan's disapproving look rolling off of his shoulders for now, anyway.

#˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ interaction ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎ #shivawne #they are so important to me

[conheaded-a]

connor takes it without hesitation, tightens the curl as tight as he can between his hands before slipping it up the sleeve of his sweater, clapping his hands together : tada ! all gone ! crisis averted ! he would say it, if it weren't for the way roman is looking at him, or refusing to. connor is reminded of little romey, all curled up in the dog kennel, an awkward ball of elbows and knees at only seven with a busted lip and black eye. it's hard to imagine him any other way.

“ hey, no. c'mon.” eldest brother protests, kneels beside roman. he wants to say : if there's something wrong with you, there's something really wrong with me. because sometimes it's easier to defend others than it is yourself, but then . . . logan's been drilling it into their heads that into their heads, hasn't he ? something is wrong with connor. too soft. too much like his mom. while roman believes connor won't talk, con can't say it works the other way around. because if push comes to shove, con's a perfect scapegoat. and he's putting his head on the chopping block isn't he ?

“ there's nothing wrong with you, rome.” he sits then, leans his back against the bed to mimic baby brother, feels the scrunch of paper against his arm. “ it wasn't yours, and everyone gets curious.” he scratches the back of his neck. admittance ? hey, i've fucked guys. doesn't seem like helpful talk, no matter who it is connor has fallen for it's always been about money, and once they've had their fill, poof : gone.

“ it doesn't matter, rome. who you're interested in. not saying you're interested, but . . . y'know. ” if you are. “ people change, and grow and interests change, and even if they don't, it's not anyone's business but yours.” it isn't a closet, it's a house, and it's up to them who they let inside, who gets to know. but he's got the feeling roman isn't ready for that conversation, that there isn't a lot he can do to make him ready. he's got to find his way there on his own.

“ and if you don't want to talk about it . . . you don't have to, i won't make you. but . . . you can. okay ?”

his eyes fill with unshed tears at the calm and collected demeanor of the eldest sibling . he's not laughing or mocking and even offers to help , and it's too easy . roman feels like he's walking into a trap , except this is connor he's talking to and of all the family members , connor's the only one who gives him the feeling he won't be stabbed in the back the moment he turns around . he trusts him , but he still feels slightly frozen in place , like his mind doesn't know what to feel and is trying to decide what to do . he wants to cry and throw up and scream and set himself on fire . in the end , he rolls up the magazine and gives it up to his brother , without looking at him .

once it's out of his hands , he curls up with his back against the bed , face hidden behind his arms and knees , trying to make himself smaller , as tears start to flow freely , body shivering with silent sobs .

❝ i think there's something wrong with me , con ❞ he cries , his voice high and broken ( fitting for a faggot , he guesses ) as he hugs himself tighter . a part of him wants to reach towards his brother and other does not want to be touched . he is a mess of wants and desires . ❝ something's really fucked up in my head . ❞

#abusedog #˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ interaction ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎ #internalized homophobia / #slurs /

[conheaded-a]

“ willa, honey. ” connor walks through the apartment with a skip in his step that logan would say he's too old for, but pop isn't here. so connor embraces the giddiness, lets it shine through him so maybe it can warm the pit in his chest. eyes find @fireflymuses easily enough.

“ i've had an idea. ” this is how it starts with connor, how most things start anywhere, really. with ideas, at the end of the day aren't people just concepts given form ? “ don't worry, it's not about the singularity, that while very important, is on the backburner. ” for now, anyway. the end of the world is still a very important event he plans to have mapped out, but he's got other important things brewing. ┃ sc .

#fireflymuses #˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ interaction ₍ ₀₀₀ ₎

[conheaded-a]

𝐐 : 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 ?

𝐀 : sweet supporting character.

i wanna be your grandma so bad, please let me pinch your face and knit you a sweater. you're most likely the best friend of the protagonist, and there's some possible overlap between you and the narrator. you're sweet and try very hard to be selfless. you watch the ones you love descend into darkness, and make every effort to help them through it all. it's not enough. you keep trying to make it enough. you provide comic relief, a listening ear, a hug, advice── any method of support you can think of. your own personal tragedy isn't documented. sometimes you wish it was, even though you're the one who ensures it is not. you want people to care for you the way you do for others. but you refuse to ask for it, so you wait for others to read between the lines. they usually don't. at least you're the one who gets to survive the tragedy. no matter how many times you beg to trade places, it is always you at the end, sitting at someone else's grave.

tagged. i stole it from @abusedog <3 tagging. steal it from me.

#˚ ˑ ₊ ❛ chara study ₍ ₀₀₃ ₎ #everyone shut up #the lesser siblings are the same and i am feral

[conheaded-a]

con sending “have you left yet 👀 🚁 🤞” in text to shiv is so funny. you know one of the kids showed him emojis one time and he has gone buck wild ever since.

#he is gonna make them regret it