#wish i never said anything

[fluttersheep]

goodnight

#flutterspeak #would have been less fucking bugs if i’d just stayed at my infested apartment lmfao #guess i’m not sleeping tonight either #i’m at my limit #wish i never spent time with neighbor #wish i never broke my lease #wish i never went to the emergency room #wish i never said anything #i hate my life so fucking much right now #i don’t fucking care if it’s temporary i hate it now i’m miserable now i want something to fucking go right please just let me have #something good please just one thing that isn’t something small and stupid like an overcast day #or all the other stupid small things i’m trying to grasp onto #just one good thing that’ll make an impact on my life #fucking please

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[ganondoodle]

1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #dont think they will learn anything #i know its pessimistic but like #as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it #i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings #i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors #which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost #and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition #like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol #i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it #i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned #and i dont think i will ever buy one again #and might regret that #i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way #but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on #and i worry for the future bc the “story is the least important part” guy and “lol you can only like the old games bc nostalgia” guy- #-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better #especially after totks success

[aphrogeneias]

women who talk too much and later are always left with the feeling that they're always saying the wrong thing and that's why no one likes them (1 member)

#i was talking to a friend the other day about this #and she said that she always feels like she's never doing anything right #she feels like she's never doing the right thing or saying the right thing and all she does is wrong wrong wrong #and it's like? i don't see her like that at all #but i feel the same way #no one's given us a manual on how to do things and what's the right thing to say and i wish i had one #like that scene in fleabag #you know the one #luiza.txt

[justmelookingbackatme]

To be trans is a curse. Sometimes I wish I was born in a body I'd be comfortable in, or wish I could make myself comfortable in the body I'm in now. Either of them. Anything to get out of this state I'm in now, where I'm holding my breath pretending to be someone I'm not, and the alternative is to breathe and mourn myself at the same time. To mourn the past self I killed. Or maybe she never existed. Or maybe I still am her, just all grown up and twisted into something unrecognizable. To be trans is something to be ashamed of, an ugly part of myself to hide from everyone who loves me. Even if they'll love me when (if) they find out, it doesn't matter, I can't love myself. To be trans is to hate myself, to probably hate myself forever. To be trans is to wonder what I did wrong, to apologize to everyone I care about and to try and do better, but I can't do better, because to do better is to not be trans, and I can't not be trans.

To be trans is to be a gift. Sometimes I think of how blessed I am, to be able to create my own path, to leave my old body behind and sculpt a new one. To be trans is to fight and fight and survive, and take a deep breath when the battle is won. And to be trans is to mourn for what I've suffered, to mourn for those that didn't survive these battles, but to take a deep breath and move forward regardless. To be trans is something to be proud of, something to be hidden only because it is too special to break, but something to treasure. Something to share, when I'm ready. To be trans is to live without apology, because my happiness is more important than anyone who wants me to hold my breath and pretend to be someone I'm not. To be trans is to try and do better, and the best way to be is myself.

To be trans is a gift and a curse, and both are true. I hate it and I love it. I'm ashamed and I'm proud. Transness contradicts itself, because to be trans is to be me, and I am filled to the brim with contradictions.

#did i write this while listening to mourners prayer on repeat? you can't prove anything #trans #gender shit #i'd be lying if i said transness was all good and i never wished it away #but it wouldn't be true if i said it was all terrible #it's both. contradictions whoo

[queertemporality]

i have admitted a want and/or need. this is tantamount to admitting weakness. now i must go and fold my arms behind my back and contemplate the wall for the next six months

#post #i love this for me #i’ll be like ‘m-maybe we should hang out’ and then i have to go pretend I don’t have feelings for like 6 months #someone recently was like ‘it comes off like you don’t like people’ and im like huh wonder why that is #surely not my avoidant behaviors leading you to conclude that I don’t care #I do wish I could like um express literally anything without um wanting to crawl into a hole about it #like sorry! sorry I said that. I need to go become my father for a while. to cope. you know? #still obsessed with the way my one friend will be like ‘I love hanging out and talking to you’ #and an hour later my brain will be like ‘she basically said she hates you and she never wants to see you again’ #like can I live beyond the shadow of my mother

[diteach]

Fellow morms

Recently, a loved one of a person dear to me passed away, but they are not of our community.

Has it ever happened to you and did you prepare funeral potatoes for them? Or do you happen to know if gifting food in time of grief is generally well received outside of our community?

Serious question

#this post's got the morms #teach says #i wouldnt necessarily prepare a whole casserole of potatoes #but im wondering if it could be a nice gesture #i want to do something concretely for them bc i know theyd never tell me they need something if i just said the ritual phrase “is there #anything i can do for you“ #i will obviously offer anyway but i wish to do more for them #tumblrstake #queerstake

[alliluyevas]

are people not allowed to find a subplot/trope boring or uninteresting anymore? is a story boring if it doesnt have a cheating plotline?

every story needs to hit a quota of five extramarital affairs before I crack open the page that’s exactly what I meant

#why are you so perturbed you felt the need to message me personally about this #I’m sorry that when penning a random vent post I did not include 900 disclaimers to ensure that the denizens of tumblr did not read #anything into it that I never said. have a nice day and feel free to read all the love triangle devoid fiction you wish

[segernatural]

what is castiel's greatest regret?

link to panel is here, timestamp: 20:54, images below cut

when he was god he could've fixed the world but failed to

'he harboured his feelings for 10 years without actually sharing them, and waited until he was about to die to share his affections'

he never really patched things up with his angel brethren in heaven

he never actually felt like he belonged on earth

(likely connected to above but) he had very few friends

he had a very, very limited wardrobe

as cas looks back on his life, it's probably nothing but one giant sweep of regret

misha did book-end it with:

"Well, I think, in the big picture, Cas... the thing that I like about that character is that he always tried to do the right thing, always tried to do what he thought was good and righteous. And sometimes he made mistakes, but that was always his North Star, and I quite like that about him."

#this went in several directions. but it is very interesting to think about. #i use a destiel lens bc i often do #but its really something. to think about cas regretting not saying something sooner. and i think its a testament to how the confession went #because there were very legitimate reasons for cas not to say anything. but now. after. after the dust settles after the words are out. #after he sees dean hear it. he wishes he said it sooner. #because he knows hes not gonna lose him. fuck. and they couldve had something. #if only he didnt. stop himself. over and over and over again. #10 years. a blink in the eye for him and yet. everything. every moment. every time. i should've said it. i should've told him. #but i didn't. #at the very least he did get to say it. and save him one last time. but they could've had years. fuck. 😭 #sorry but also. the 'waited til he was about to die' cause he knows what itll do to dean. itll fuck everything up. itll break him. #(in hindsight he knows this now) dying is already enough. but leaving dean with that. with instead of 'we never...' it was. 'we almost' #'we did. for one brief second we did' #spn #destiel #char speaks #15x18 despair #favourites

[the-acid-pear]

Something I forgot to mention until now is a little detail after you retire Jake early, because it prompts Roger to be like "hey why tf did you do that man" and you can just be a turbo cunt and say it was bc you couldn't stand his broken voice box and Roger just moves on but considering he has a natural stutter and not one caused by a mechanical failure knowing that that was the reason the last guy you knew got put down must be anywhere from uncomfortable to outright nerve-wracking for real.

#luly talks #dsaf #i was trying to figure out what i was up to on march 18th but couldn't #but i did see the screenshots and reminded me i never said this #i do wish anything else would've been Done w that voice box thing bc like Jake doesn't really have any speech quirks aside from that #his dialogue could at least glitch a little or convey it is hard to understand audibly but nah #like i do love it bc it's pretty easy on my ears compared to the normal voice but like STILL #i am insane enough to manage to think of this tho 👍 #Jake wilson #roger Jones

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok says that Vulcan children are very well behaved and have a lot of emotional control by the time they’re ~elementary school aged which makes sense but also makes me want to see what a Vulcan toddler or kindergartener acts like since they can’t be reasoned with as well (can’t really meditate) + are babies and also brimming with near irrepressible violence/emotions.

Vulcan toddler is just quietly accompanying their parent along on an errand. They stop and point to a toy of some sort and ask politely if they can have it. Their parent explains that they have enough toys at home. The toddler immediately throws the tantrum of the century. Just turns into an absolute wild animal in their rage. Other Vulcans are just like “aaa I remember when my children were that age” but any aliens around are like “oh my god is that thing OK??” I imagine even older Vulcan children would have issues with emotional control given that they’re also children! Though they’d of course know they needed to control themselves and behave...sometimes you just slip up. Vulcan children are playing together harmoniously. Then one breaks the established rules of the game. “I made contact with your arm. You are now the chaser.” “You did not make contact with my arm. I dodged your attempt.” “You dodged unsuccessfully. I made contact with your arm.” “I did not.” “You are cheating.” “I believe you are the one cheating.” And an adult has to rush over as one pounces on the other and they both begin screaming and clawing at each other’s eyes. The rest of the children are watching with interest or perhaps grabbing implements to assist their friend.  Little lapses in emotional control would probably be common until they reached like....highschool age. I can imagine an eleven year old Vulcan hearing they can’t sleepover a friend’s home and immediately shattering a vase before apologizing and cleaning it up.  It also seems like bullying would be very prevalent on Vulcan. Spock is canonically bullied frequently and it seems natural that Violent, Extreme Emotions in teenagers would lead to that kind of behavior which isn’t outwardly unacceptable (like crying, laughing, etc) but still satisfies an illogical desire towards cruelty and establishing dominance.  Vulcans schools probably have so many ‘Bullying Is Illogical’ seminars that do nothing and everyone makes fun of behind their teacher’s backs. Two Vulcan teenagers bullying each other, trying to see who has the more emotional reaction. If you cry or get mad you lose. Only babies cry and get mad...seems pretty illogical(cringe).  Vulcans seem to be very focused on respectability so I’m sure that as bloodthirsty teens there would be a lot of accusations and rules...if you hang out with X then Z,H and Y won’t talk to you. If you apologize too soon then they might accuse you of behaving too emotionally and gossip about you...if you don’t apologize at all they might accuse you of behaving too emotionally and gossip about you. It’s very stressful. Tuvok also said when he was a teenager in that one flashback that he was ready to fight over the girl he had a crush on (saying he’d “issue a challenge” or something) so I’m implementing that into my personal understanding of Vulcans...like adults do NOT want these kids to fight but amongst other teens they’re like:  “Seynar is my boyfriend.” “I disagree. He sat next to me during meditation three times this week.” “Only because I was absent.” “Then he is fickle and will be mine soon enough.” And then they challenge one another to a secret duel after school. Dueling to the death is very cool and grownup v_v (teens rarely die from such duels though bc either the other teen stops or someone told an adult). It makes sense to me that teenagers with violent urges would fight one another in a way that they consider acceptably adult. (mimicking the marriage ritual thing or even pon farr...romantic and cool.) Imagine being a teen Vulcan and your crush starts hinting that they have another person who might be interested in them....hmmm.....and you know you’re gonna have to duel for them or lose em. Such is life. Vulcan teens seem like they’d either date a lot (emotional whims) very non seriously (because they’re all betrothed) or date not at all because they’re gonna get married to their betrothed anyway. Loving someone other than your fated match is probably a pretty big trope in Vulcan romance stories...or maybe the opposite? Like someone bad tries to steal your heart but you remain resolute and return to your fated match as is logical. Anyway all this to say that I think Vulcan children and emotional control is something that’s fun to think about. Especially regarding how Vulcan children would act around adults vs other children. Vulcan child to adult: I will do my best to get along with my sibling. (2 seconds later once mother has left)  Vulcan child: You may play with the red toy. If you play with the blue toy I will harm you. Bodily. Meanwhile their older sibling is rolling their eyes like ugh....threatening violence is for babies....now to prepare for my logical and very adult duel for the love of my life whom I have known for three months. v_v

#vulcans #my writing #this is just stream of consciousness thoughts though #I just think Vulcan children should behave differently than adults...brains not done cooking yet and mastery of emotions is not complete #vulcan children being almost entirely self interested until a certain age #at which point they become very outward-facing...trying to please others around them and be liked/respected by their peers..trying to fit in #and then as adults they're able to strike a balance between knowing oneself and being respected by others #Vulcan teen frantically trying to decide if it's more logical to obey their parents wishes that they not go out to a party #or to go to the party which T'Yana said EVERYONE was going to be at.... #since T'Pol says that Vulcans were (pre-reform) in factions I think that'd carry into their modern emotions... #is it more logical to be loyal to the familial 'faction' or the friendship one? #Meanwhile their baby sibling is screaming and banging their fists against the door because they WANNA! COME! IN! LET ! THEM! IN! (No.) #eeeeveryone thinks babysitting a Vulcan child will be SO easy until they threaten to rend your flesh from bone then set the house ablaze #because you wouldn't let them stay up five more minutes #star trek #I think Vulcans should be a little fucked up and wild but want that to NEVER EVER get out #I hope this makes sense v_v #how vulcan children act around peers vs adults vs alien adults etc should be different #hehe I also think as small children they'd just call anything they personally don't wanna do 'illogical' and their parents have to sigh and #teach them how to separate 'what is logical' from 'what I want to do'

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying #shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl #in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated #bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not #her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet #so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive #personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd #compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from #happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is #like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil #not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am #barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me #and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them #but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and #thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard #to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds #nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of #brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but #that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer #defying the stats but for how much longer? #i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it #i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else #excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things #unrelated #ed mention #i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama #bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]

[saviourkingslut]

not to be about opera again but to be about opera again. as an art form it has the reputation of being super stuffy and something for snobs who don't know how to have fun only but honestly this was one of, perhaps even THE main theatrical entertainment for centuries. i wish people knew how hard these things can go and how engaging they can be. like characters kill and die and fight wars and (almost) commit human sacrifice left and right. characters fall in love they mourn they're ecstatic they cry they're furious it's an extremely dramatic and emotional art form! and i understand that opera does not appear approachable bc of the general conventions of the art form but i promise old works can be fun and engaging if you go watch them with some preparation beforehand (reading the libretto helps) - not to mention not all operas are old bc there are so many modern operas which engage with topical events! also the music slaps.

#le triomphe de trajan (1807) out here calling for a man's execution with this banger: #point de grace pour ce perfide; que tout sons sang coule sur un autel #(no grace for this treacherous man; let all his blood flow on an altar) #this is also annoying to me when people write historical fic and the characters treat the opera as this elitist thing #that they don't know anything about. #you know when they go to the opera reluctantly and then they have no idea what's going on on stage or who the composer is. #which is. very unlikely for anyone with the money to attend an opera in certain opera houses in the 19th c. tbqh #like im more of an expert on paris and vienna idk what it was like in london #but if you were decently (upper) middle class or nobility (esp in paris) you went regularly. this was like a whole social space too #i recently read a fanfic and one of the characters was like 'oh it's in italian. i don't know that' and the other character went like #'it's by a man called donizetti what did you expect' #(this was situated in 19th century london) #like first of all. donizetti was NOT a librettist he was a composer he did not write the text #and second of all. he worked on french operas ?? so did rossini. and spontini. #opera was an incredibly international art form. also bc productions would be performed in different countries all the time #(sometimes changed and/or translated but not necessarily) #and again like i said. this was one of THE main forms of entertainment. people were familiar with its conventions! it was well-liked! #ofc bc of the seating prices it was not very accessible to lower classes most of the time #but lbr most characters that get written into an opera scene in fiction are at the very least decently bourgeois lol #i wish people knew how to properly historicise forms of entertainment whose reputation has changed in the modern era #from what it was a century or more ago #very adjacent to people 'cancelling' old lit bc of 'bad takes' like idk how to tell you this but people thought different back then #completely different world view from what we have today. that does not make lit from that era irredeemable it is just from a diff. time #acknowledging that and reading the text critically but also still enjoying it are things that go tgt here #ok rant over (it is never over) #curry rambles

[whiterunguard]

If hes not a girl why does he wear a skirt..... Checkmate. imperial libberals .... HA!

#talking #skyrim #shitpost #general tullius #what if i peeled all of my skin off and turned it into a handbag. what then #i really hate this fucking guy #i wish he would drop dead #genuinely i want nothing more than to see him burn in fucking hell for all of eternity #im going to put him in a blender and turn it on #im going to dangle him over a pit of sharks and cut the rope #im going to drop a comically large anvil on his head #im going to put on knife shoes and stomp him to death #i hate you general tullius i wish you nothing but misery and pain and sand #sadness not sand #whatever i hope you get sand too dipshit. all in your fucking shoes you pathetic worm #i bet he cries himself to sleep at night #everybody beat general tullius with hammers #NOW NOW NOW #KILL THIS DISGUSTING CRETIN WITH BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA TO THE BODY AND HEAD #hey btw im the most normalest guy in the world #you can trust me #ive never said anything strange or perhaps peculiar in my entire lifetime #and this is a fact #so i think you should um. believe im the regular person on this planet Earth #and nothing is more true ok #maybe i do hold a little disdain for this weird thing. hmm. sooo what. #so what if i put out a little bit of peanut butter with rat poison in it to kill him huh. so what #what are YOU gonna do about it. hmm. yeah nothing #that's what i fucking thought.

[a-lil-strawberry]

Please pray that a complicated billing situation will be sorted out and covered by my insurance. It's for an ambulance ride I had in June for a panic attack. Some of you might remember me panicking about it a few months ago when I got the statement.

#it's a giant bill and my mom's insurance which is my primary only covered a tiny portion of it #and the ambulance service tried only once to contact my secondary insurance and they never even got it #so they never covered anything #but they were never contacted #so then i made them contact each other when it was made apparent that otherwise i would owe $2020. #yes two thousand and twenty dollars #and then i was waiting for them to deal with it #and today i just received another statement still showing that they never contacted that insurance and that i owe them the money by the 30th #so i panicked a little bit #then called the insurance and they said they had just recieved the claim on the first #so then i called the ambulance service and told them so and asked if the due date of the 30th was still in place #and she said no it's on hold and the insurance lady said most likely some of it would be covered #so hopefully it will go down drastically #and man this whole situation is like.... why did i have to do all the contacting back and forth #i thought that was y'all's job #but whatever #so now i am waiting again :) #fully aware that i may still owe a large chunk of that #but it's okay bc i am starting a new job and all will be well :))))))) #right??????? #all will be well?????? #and it was a dang panic attack that started all this #so i feel somewhat like this is all my fault #if i had never taken that thc gummy and greened out so bad and worked myself up none of this would be happening :) #but that's not healthy for me to think #it's in the past and i truly thought i needed to go in so in that moment i was doing what i thought i needed to do to take care of myself #i should be proud of myself for that #i just wish healthcare was different in this country

[newfeeling77]

anyone filming a video on their phone in public i dont care ill walk in the way ill interrupt whatever. unless its teens making skating videos. because i think thats important even if theyre in the way of me getting to the atm.

#not really relevant but #every time i sit in the park i remember when i was like 16/17 #sitting in the PARK with the lamest battle jacket and my big platform docs because i was in that part of my life #like i looked mildly punk enough that like a normie would think i was really cooking with gas #and this fucking girl and her boy with her idk if they were students or just annoying #she was walking around taking pictures with a DSLR and she started taking pictures of me feeding the pigeons for no fucking reason #didnt ask just did it #and i wish it had happened now bc i would tell her to fuck off and you shouldnt take pictures of people downtown without their permission #bc youre just asking for unnecessary confrontation. also its rude #but i never said anything bc i was 17 and nervous #the pictures probably sucked too she was too far away and the lighting was bad.