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alovesongshewrote · 4 years

Note

If you’re taking requests, maybe something about Doux finding the reader absolutely delirious from lack of sleep? I may or may not have gotten literally any sleep last night and although I managed to get through my morning routine pretty efficiently I FEEL my body just wiping out. I will be comatose within the hour.

Sleep, Darling | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot: you’ve been awake for too long and it is not doing you any favours. Thank god for punk wizards who care about your wellbeing, amirite lads? (Also, the pure Irony that this is getting posted at like, 2:40 am where i am, rip me i guess)

Word Count: 2,292

Warnings: A bit of blood is mentioned in passing, the reader isn’t human and probably has adhd or smthn. Also, Friends is mentioned, like, the tv show, so that’s a thing!

A/N: if you look closely, you can actually see me projecting onto this one. I hope you got some sleep anon.

Tags: @furblrwurblr @einahpetsyarcip @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05

Time isn’t real. It’s a social construct made to bring order to the general chaos that is human existence. That was why you were up at 5 a.m for the second, maybe third, night in a row. Was it healthy? Probably not, but you didn’t need sleep, you needed answers. Answers to what? Who knows at this point, honestly.

You couldn’t say you were surprised when you finally noticed the late, or early hour. You just shrugged it off and went “fuck it, all-nighter,” which was fine for the moment. But time’s a bitch, and that moment was over pretty fast. By noon, you were ready to collapse. The three cups of coffee did not help. Instead, they made you vibrate at a frequency that could quite possibly break glass. As much as this sucked for you, it was worse for your lovely friend and co-worker, Hisirdoux Casperan.

Now, our boi Douxie was and is madly in love with you, but shhh, it’s a secret. You also love him, and that’s a secret too. Neither of these secrets are well kept, and the only reason you aren’t together is general stupidity. Literally, anyone else who watches the two of you interacting can tell that you're in love. Hell, half the town assumes you’re together already. The other half keeps trying to get you together. It is not working very well. But that’s all a digression. What you really need to know is that Douxie loves you and watching you suffer from a lack of sleep was Not A Pleasant Experience. You were delirious, shaky, and constantly off-balance. You could work well enough, but it was clear that your health was not in the same zone.

The final straw came when you cut your hand on broken glass. You’d dropped a cup, and instead of using magic, you’d tried to fix the mess by hand. That plan did not work, and you received a bloody slash across your palm for your troubles.

“Ah. Fuck,” you said, thinking you were whispering but instead speaking at a normal volume.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“‘S nothing, I’ve got it,” you did not got it, especially not in this state, and Douxie had the good sense to figure that out. The blood was a pretty good hint though.

“Oh, fuzzbuckets.”

“I told you, I’m toooootally fine, there is nothing to worry about.”

“Here, (Y/N), let me help you-”

“No, no, this is, this is-” it was then that your sleep-deprived brain decided to cut off your train of thought and replace it with another, more chaotic train. You stopped talking and just stared at Douxie for a solid minute. Or at least it felt like a solid minute. Time isn’t real, remember that.

“(Y-Y/N)? You alright there, darling?”

“You’re really cute, did you know that? Like… really cute. Steve was right, you could be a model.”

“I-”

“Also, just gonna put it out there, I freakin’ love it when you call me darling. Like, I know you call most people darling, but it makes me feel special. Don’t ask why, it just does.”

Douxie wasn’t planning on asking why. He wasn’t really planning on anything. Your sleep-deprived half-confession had turned him from a capable individual into a blushing mess in less than a second. You always had that effect on him, but it looked like your exhausted state was giving you a bit of an edge.

“Oh, sorry, I made it weird. Anyway, do you think if I brewed my next coffee with Monster instead of water it would wake me up? Because I’m still tired, and it isn’t fun.”

“I- you- I’m-”

“I think I might try it, honestly.”

“Ok, how about you don’t do that,” Archie said, swooping in, literally and figuratively, to save the day, “Douxie, can you please get (Y/N)’s hand patched up? It looks quite painful and they’re dripping blood onto the carpet.”

You were, in fact, dripping blood onto the carpet. That wasn’t good, “Oh, that’s- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fret, just go do something about that hand,” with that, Archie smacked Douxie upside the head in an attempt to snap him out of his flustered state. It was super effective!

“Ahh, yeah. C’mon, (Y/N), let’s,,, go,,, fix,,, that.”

“Ok,” you stood, too tired to protest, and followed Douxie into the back of the bookstore, which was literally just his apartment.

It was a nice place. Very cozy, very him. It made you want to curl up and take a nap, but to be fair, literally everything made you want to curl up and take a nap at the moment. Regardless, his home made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and you never wanted to leave it. Maybe it was the interior decorating, but you knew it was because your favourite person lived there. What you didn’t know, or didn’t realize, was that you’d just spoken your entire thought process out loud and Douxie heard every word of it. Once again, the boy was a blushing mess. If you were awake enough to process things, you would have found it cute. Or you’d be dead from embarrassment, that one is a bit of a toss-up.

Fighting through his flustered state, Douxie pulled you into the bathroom and collected a first aid kit from under the counter. While he focused on getting things done, you curled into a ball in his bathtub. For some reason, your exhausted brain decided that sitting on the edge of the bathtub simply did not Vibe™ but sitting inside the tub was better than nothing, and so you just,,, curled up there. Douxie was only a little surprised to see you there.

“(Y/N)?”

“D’you remember that time on Friends when Winona Ryder played a closeted lesbian? That was a fuckin’ trip, man.”

“(Y/N), darling-”

“That whole episode is just- it’s just strange.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Hehe, Stranger Things.”

“(Y/N), love, I need to see your hand.”

“Oh, fuck, yeah, I forgot. Here,” you sat up, extending your hand out to the wizard. He took it, sitting on the edge of the bathtub which was fine for him to do, I guess. Not you though, you were stuck in bathtub jail for sleep deprivation crimes.

You squinted up at his face as he tended to the nasty scratch you’d given yourself. You didn’t have the capacity to focus on what he was doing, so instead you focused on him. He was pretty, as you’d said before, but that was always true. At that exact moment, his brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes concerned and his jaw set. His hands were steadier than yours could ever hope to be, especially since you hadn’t been sleeping. Overall, he looked kind of mad, so you sunk down into your bath-prison, silent and waiting for him to finish so you could get back to work.

Douxie was not mad at you. He was upset that you hadn’t been sleeping, but he wasn’t mad. He was just worried for your health. Your wizard did not appreciate seeing you shaking and sleep-deprived. He didn’t appreciate it when your current state led you to injure yourself, either.

He wrapped up your hand and gave it a small pat, “Done. Now, come on, you’re taking a nap.”

His voice surprised you. It was gentle, calm, not at all angry like you’d suspected. You found yourself so lost in it that you didn’t realize what he’d said until he said your name, trying to snap you out of whatever haze you were in.

“Oh, wait, what? No, shit, I have to get back to work-”

“No, you need sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak, I need to go-” you stood and almost fell over. You probably would have broken something if Douxie didn’t catch you. You hadn’t exactly expected to end up in his arms today, and despite the heat rising in your face and neck, you were not complaining.

“(Y/N)-”

“I’m sorry, Douxie, I-”

“You need to sleep. Please, (Y/N), don’t make me use a spell on you.”

You froze for a second before a smirk crept onto your face, “You wouldn’t.”

“I-”

“You wouldn’t use a spell on meeeeee-” the smirk grew into a full smile as you let yourself go limp, forcing him to move his hands to support you better and pull you closer to him. Was that your plan? Maybe. Was it part of a second, bigger plan? Also yes.

“You wanna bet?”

“Sure.”

“I-” and then he went silent. There was a moment of tension where you just stared into each other’s eyes, holding your breath to see what the other person would do. Your gaze fell to his lips as his fell to yours. For that moment, your thoughts began to wander far out of your control. Douxie’s mind was also running rampant but in a different direction. You were right, he thought. He couldn't use magic on you. As far as he knew, you were a human. Just a mortal being who crawled their way into his life and stayed there, improving the quality of it greatly. If there was even the slightest chance that a spell may have negative side effects, which most sleep spells did, he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially not on you. He sighed, tightening his grip on your waist, “You’re right.”

“What?” Oop, plan going sideways, PLAN GOING SIDEWAYS!

“I’m- not going to use magic on you,” he helped you to stand, and moved to take a step back before you grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back to you, ignoring the sharp sting in your hand.

“Ok, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on there wizard boy-” you took a moment to pull yourself out of the bathtub entirely, “You can’t give up that easily.”

“Wha-”

“Come onnnnnn, make it fun, make it exciting. Put a spell on me or whatever, just-” you went quiet for a second, but for once you weren’t distracted. Just quiet. You had to face facts. Your plan had failed, and now you had nothing but the truth.

“(Y/N)?”

“Just make my brain stop. For just two seconds.”

“What?”

“Please. I’m running on a motor and I can’t stop myself. I haven’t slept and I have no choice in the matter.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Look, just, take away my free-will if you have to. Knock me out, magic or otherwise, I just want five seconds where I’m not on hyperdrive,” you were standing on your own now, though Douxie’s arms were still wrapped around you and you hadn’t let go of his hoodie, “Please.”

The bathroom was silent for a minute. It took that long for Douxie to process what you’d just said. You feared, for that moment, that you’d said too much. You hadn't. Not to him, anyway.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“Come on,” he said, picking you up, effortlessly sweeping you off your feet.

“Wait, what!?” your voice was slightly more frantic, surprise lacing through your words.

“There’s more than one way to get a person to sleep.”

“Oh-?”

He didn’t respond to your question, instead, he carried you out the door and into what you could only assume was his room. You had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life until he set you down on the bed.

“Stay here, okay? I’m going to make you some tea-”

“Wait!” you stopped him, grabbing his wrist as he turned to leave, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, my darling,” he sat in front of you on the bed, “You just need to get some sleep, okay?”

“But what about-”

“I’ll cover your shift, you don’t need to worry.”

“I-”

“Just rest, for now, love. Please.”

“Ok,” your words were a whisper, something that Douxie could only just hear. The next thing though, he didn’t have to strain to hear at all, “Yeah. I meant what I said earlier, by the way. You’re so pretty, it isn’t fair.”

He laughed at this, at you, finally seeing some humour in your shenanigans. He relaxed now knowing that you may actually get some much-needed rest. He stood, kissing your forehead and tracing the side of your face with a hand, rough from guitar strings and 900 years of sweeping.

“Worry not, love, you’re pretty too.”

“Hey, wait-”

“Don’t ‘hey, wait,’ me. You are. Now lie down, I’ll be back in a second.”

A smile crept onto your face as you followed orders. Your emo wizard man thought you were pretty. And he cared enough about you to let you sleep during work hours, in his home, no less. You let yourself relax into the bed, grinning once again. It smelled like him, like thyme and peppermint, lemongrass and sleep. It was nice, comforting. You could only vaguely think of Douxie as your brain finally took a fuckin breather. It was everything you needed, honestly.

By the time Douxie came back, you were long gone, lost to your dreams and finally asleep. He sighed a smile that matched yours on his face. He placed the cup of tea on the bedside table before grabbing a blanket out of his closet and draping it over you. You looked so peaceful. Good. You deserved some peace every now and then.

He took the cup and left you, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes as he did. After making his exit, he placed the still-hot tea on the counter, disregarding it for now before returning to the bookshop.

“How are they?” his familiar asked, tail twisting in concern.

He gave a final fond look at the door before returning to business, “They’re just resting.” And for once, you were.

#hisirdoux x reader #hisirdoux casperan x reader #douxie x reader #douxie imagine #hisirdoux imagine #angst #fluff #hisirdoux #hisirdoux casperan #douxie #toa douxie #toa hisirdoux #tw sleep deprivation

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ladyfiresfanfiction · 3 years

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Flying the Nest; One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest Fic- Chapter Two.

Sorry I am late, guys and girls! I completely forgot that Sunday had been Easter, so it was a busy day with family. This is a bit longer than chapter one and has a bit more of a backstory on Janie. I’m also trying something new to include the reader in my story, too! Let me know what you think of this idea and the second chapter. I’ll be staring the next chapter tomorrow! Enjoy :)

I don't remember speaking this much since I received the call that Charles Bogney had been found in his family's guest room, hanging from his belt behind the closet door. His mother found him, a bottle of Percodan underneath him, what little was left strewn below his feet on the wood flooring, an empty bottle of 40-ounce Belgian imported beer shattered on the ground from when he dropped it as he lost consciousness and passed away, alone and in misery. Our mutual friend, another toxic ex-boyfriend of mine whose name was Bryan Harris, had to be the one to call me. I had been trying to get into contact with Charles for the last few weeks of his short life. I felt something was wrong. Deep inside I knew if I didn't get a hold of Charley, he would die prematurely. Unfortunately, my gut feeling and seemingly spot on premonition had come to fruition. The first few weeks after Charles had died, I blacked it out. I remember feeling as if the world stopped and froze as Bryan had stammered the news of Charles's death. My heart skipped a few beats and my vision started to become blurry. I dropped to my knees, the phone on the ground as I let out guttural cries of pain that escaped my lips and waves of tears burned my eyes like acid. I cried inconsolably for the first 96 hours of Charles leaving the planet. I couldn't make the trip to his native state of California for his funeral, and I refused calls and visitors for much of the first month of his passing. My only nutrition became opium, cocaine, amphetamines, and alcohol. My family treated me as if I was a lepper, never understanding I had lost the great love of my life, despite the toxic and harrowing past we shared.

Mac listened intently as he showed me around the grounds. The outside, where the patients (which we coined them the lovable nuts) could come out for fresh air and sunshine for an allotted amount of time per day was fenced in, but it was a spacious and breathtaking piece of land. Large trees that covered most of the land, little trails for patients to walk with supervising orderlies or nurses, tables for patients and the staff alike to enjoy a little solitude during the day. It even had a fairly big basketball court and exercise areas near the shockingly high chainlink fence, which was adorned with razor wire to dismay any patient who thought of running away from the hospital. Overall, it looked like paradise for someone who enjoyed being a prisoner. Mac talked of hearing about the patients going on some field trip, however, it would be just for the boys. The girls had had their own trip last week. As we stopped at the entrance of the second-floor corridor in front of a massive pair of white double doors, Mac turned to me and looked broken. He cleared his throat, forcing me to pay attention and face him.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you with Harry and Ethel. You probably wouldn't be as bad off if I just would have taken you with me. You were just a little girl, though. And I was an irresponsible and young angsty teenager. I thought maybe they would have taken better care of you than they did me. I'm so sorry Jane. I have done horrible things but nothing has given me more pride and made me want to be a better man than having you as my kid sister. You'll never have to be alone again." Mac spoke in a low yet sincere voice.

"It wasn't your job to parent me. You were eighteen when you struck out on your own, and I was only nine. They were so awful to you. You had to get out before they drove you certifiable. Charles brought me here for a reason. I feel it. I'm just glad to have my big brother back. We're going to make this place ours, Mackie. Then when we get out, we can start lives worth living." I said, patting his shoulder.

"If you need me, even if it's at night, I'll come find you. There are phones in here, all you have to do is call and ask for me. I'll be here in a jiffy. I'll see you during our counseling session with Ratched and the crew tomorrow. Get some rest, Baby Jane."

As soon as I walked in, I was brought to intake. My medical history was repeated, I was weighed, my temperature taken, asked a slew of questions, and then I was given an ugly patient garb to wear. As I was taken to the room I would be sleeping in, I saw that in each room there was a telephone with a pamphlet that had numbers to the nurse's station as well as the number for Spivey's office and the number for the nurse's station on the men's floor. Each room on the ladie's floor had three beds for three patients per room, a chair and desk, and a nice comfy-looking Cloth chair with a desk on one side and in the far right corner a bookcase filled with books to read. I would have been far more comfortale to be in a solitary room, or shared a room with my brother and his roommates, but it was against the hospital's policy for men and women to be roommates. I sighed, taking in a breath of courage, and went straight to bed, avoiding the two people I would be bunking with until I had the energy to introduce myself. In fullfledged withdrawal from opiates and alcohol I was writhing in pain already after only 14 hours without a hit and a drink and I was so sleep deprived. I felt dead on my feet. I threw my haggard body on my bed and soon enough, sleep overpowered me.

The comfort of unconsciousness would not last for long, though.

The Ladies ward had come alive with an ear piercing scream in the dead of night. It was only a quarter past one a.m. when animalistic cries and screams of "Charley! Please! No!" had caused an overnight nurse, the security guard, and an on call doctor, and every patient on the ward to jolt awake in sheer terror. After several unsuccessful attempts at shaking my writhing body awake, a slight slap to my cheeks jostled me and my eyes widened as I jolted upright in bed, taking in gulp fulls of oxygen as if I had been strangled. I shrink back as I see a roommate of mine looking worried and sitting gingerly on the edge of my bed.

"Are you okay?" You ask.

"I-I-I'm fine. I-I'm so-sorry. I... I have night terrors.." I stammered, trying to explain my problem.

"I have them, too. Don't be sorry. My name is (y/n), but everybody calls me (y/n/n), what is your name?" You asked.

"It's ni-ice to meet you, (y/n). My name is Janie McMurphy."

Before we could get to know each other further, three staff members burst into the room with a mix of alarm and annoyance etched into their faces. Turkle, the nighttime guard of the hospital joined a nighttime nurse whose name I had already forgotten, along with Spivey's nighttime replacement, Doctor Stuart. Another body scrambled in not too long after, a flustered and scared Mac. I buried my reddening face in my hands as four voices bombarded me with questions I was too tired and ultimately too annoyed to deal with.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" Turkle asked. "You have a set of lungs on you, don'tcha?"

"Do I need to call Doctor Spivey for you, Miss McMurphy?" Doctor Stuart asked.

"I'm going to get you a diazepam pill, Miss McMurphy. It's all okay, I promise. Mister McMurphy, we'll give you five minutes then you need to go back to your own bed on the bottom floor." The nurse said, winking at Mac.

"She had a night terror, Mister Turkle," (y/n) began. "It's okay, I got her up. Could I have one too, Nurse Katt? I can't fall asleep tonight." they asked.

"Sure. I'll be right back. Doctor Stuart will be sure to write this occurrence in a note for Nurse Ratched and Doctor Spivey and you can see them both tomorrow morning. Five minutes, Mac." Nurse Katt added as she, Turkle, and Stuart left the room.

(Y/N) shyly smiled at Mac when they made their way back to their bed, turning on their side to face the wall to give the two of us some form of privacy. I was hugging my knees to my chest in the bed, avoiding Mac's eyes. He let out an audible sigh and sat beside me, placing a comforting arm around my shoulders. I trembled, trying to keep my eyes from overflowing with tears and took in a shaky breath, resting my head on my brother’s shoulder. We didn't talk; we sat in silence until I faced him.

"I'm sorry you came up here, Mac, but I'm fine." I said.

“The nurse called me as soon as she heard your first scream. I came as soon as I could. Why are you sorry?” He asked softly.

“I’m sorry for a lot of things, but mostly for waking you up, brother. I just can’t control these fucking night terrors.” I replied, scrunching my eyes shut as more tears threatened to brim over.

"How long have these damn things been happening?" He asked, looking down at me.

"For almost two years... Since Charles killed himself." I replied, quietly.

"Meet me in my room around seven o'clock, ok? We'll have breakfast together and head to therapy together. It's going to be okay, Jane. Thank you, (Y/N), for helping my sister, sweetheart. I appreciate it." Mac smiled as he stood up and ventured back to his own floor.

The next morning I awoke before my two roommates, one being (Y/N) who stayed up with me until the diazepam knocked us into another universe, and another patient around our age named Elise who had slept through the night terror debacle. (Y/N) said that Elise was used to their night terrors and usually saved a few barbiturates so nothing would disturb her at night.

I made my way to the first floor, skulking into the first room on the right, which Mac said would be the room he shared with “one giant motherfucker named Chief, but he’s harmless so don’t be scared.” I felt uncomfortable in my new uniform, or prisoner’s gear as I called it. As I looked around and made my way through the large corridor and found Mac laughing with a rather large Native man, I nearly ran right into someone.

“Oh! God, I am s-“ I began, finally taking in who I nearly ran right through.

“I-I-Its n-no problem, Muh-muh-Miss.” A very red Billy Bibbit replied.

“No, really, Billy, I am very sorry. I was looking for my brother and just wasn’t watching where I was going.” I smiled, looking away shyly.

“M-M-Mac is-is-is ri-ri-ri-right in there, Miss.” He smiled, pointing to the door behind me.

“Call me Janie.” I said, finally looking at him and finding myself entranced by his big blue eyes.

“Okay… J-Ja-Ja-Jaaanie.” He smiled back, forcing my name out through stutters that flustered him.

“Did you, uh, wanna have breakfast with Mac and me?” I asked.

“O-Oh, I’d like to, b-b-b-b-but I have my morn-ning appointment wi-ith Doctor Sp-Spivey now. Raincheck?” He asked, hopefully.

“Of course. I’ll see you around, Billy.” I smiled, watching as he walked away.

“My dear, dear sister,” Mac began, smirking devilishly as he stood in the doorway of his room.

“I do believe you would eat that boy alive if you two became an item. Come on in, there’s somebody I want you to meet.”

I walked into Mac’s small room and saw the man he was speaking with earlier, getting his shirt on. He nodded at me and I waved. I looked around their room and was surprised at how gloomy and small it was. The ladies had larger rooms with picture windows and furniture. However, the men’s room only held two beds and a kind of chain fence separating rooms with the other men in the ward. Their one large window in the room was locked down tight and had bars on it so the patients had no way of escaping, even if they managed to open their window. I watched Mac talk quietly with the man he called Chief, leaving me standing there awkwardly. Over an intercom it was announced that it was time for medication and all patients needed to walk single-file to the medication window. I walked out with Mac and Chief and found that the women in the hospital were standing in a line next to the men, and I stood with Elise and (Y/N).

“Remember, Janie, breakfast after this. We’ll go to the cafeteria; there’s a small window table we can eat at.” Mac whispered, and I nodded.

Billy and I stood in line side-by-side, and every time I looked over, I caught him staring at me, which made him turn scarlet. I felt self-conscious, wondering if I looked too fat in this uniform, or if my hair was a rat’s nest, or if there was something wrong with me. Mac was utterly amused and mouthed “Billy has a crush on you” to me, but I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He was just being nice, or so I thought.

The doctor put me on diazepam at night in hopes of ending my night terrors, and in the day time had me on a cocktail of medication. Something for my debilitating anxiety, two different medications that were supposed to work together for depression, something for my PTSD and flashbacks, and a mood stabilizer. Within ten minutes I was at the table with Mac, and he was telling me how he ended up here, a girl had lied about her age and her parents found them having sex. She lied that he raped her and her parents pressed charges and that while he was innocent, he figured he would never beat the case so he came here as a last ditch effort to avoid spending a third of his life in prison. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but I nodded. I believed my brother and I loved him. He had a knack for choosing the wrong girls as I had a knack for choosing the wrong guys.

Several of his new friends sat with us; Taber, who I noticed liked to scream a lot, a pompous and annoyingly whiny man named Harding, a smart and friendly older man named Cheswick, and a little guy who didn’t talk much but was always smiling, whose name was Martini. Chief was minding his own business and standing in the far left corner of the cafeteria, near the exit and watching everyone. He liked to make the staff think he was deaf, mute, and dumb. Once Mac found out that in fact, Chief could not only talk and hear but he was as sharp as a tack, he laughed heartily and gave the Native man a high five, impressed with his trickery and his way of staying sane in this insane place.

“Hey, Billy boy! Can ya show my sister the good Doc’s office? She kinda forgot where it was and I’m still eating this slop here. I’d owe ya one.” He said, winking at me.

Billy had stopped by the table as he had finished his meeting with the doctor to let me know Doctor Spivey was looking for me. He tried to avoid my gaze but caught several glimpses of my blue-green eyes before bashfully turning his head away. I nodded and stood up as Mac grabbed my wrist.

“U-u-Uh, su-sure, M-M-Mac. Come on, Ja-Ja-Janie.” Billy replied, holding out his hand to me.

“Thanks, Billy.” I muttered, glaring at Mac who feigned innocence.

We didn’t speak much on the way to the Doctor’s office. I felt lost in a sea of fog since this was my first day taking the new medication, and Billy seemed pensive along with being super nervous. As we made it to the office, we stood outside there, not speaking nor looking at each other right away.

“Will you be at th-th-the therapy session today, Janie?” He asked, looking at me this time.

“I sure will. Ratched knows what happened last night and I guess wants me to talk about it today.” I replied, feeling nauseous at the thought.

“Don-don-don’t worry. She ca-can be mean, b-b-b-but deep down she’s a n-n-n-nice lady. She’s friends w-with my m-m-mother, so I’ve known her mo-most of my l-l-life. I’ll be there for y-y-you if things get hard. I promise.” He explained.

This time I looked at him. Really looking and overcome with a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time; safety. I barely knew this cute boy but he, along with my brother, were ready to protect me and get involved in my messy life. I wanted to cry and I wanted to hug Billy, but I didn’t know how he would take that just yet. I smiled and thanked him, finally letting go of his hand before watching him walk away. He had a sweet smile plastered on his lips, his eyes lit up as we said our goodbyes. His soft brown curls bouncing as he jogged back to the cafeteria. I slid down the wall and sat there, trying to gain my composure before recounting what I dealt with last night. The door opened after five minutes and I looked up to see the doctor himself extend a hand and help me to my feet.

“Ah, there you are, Miss McMurphy. Let’s get to the bottom of these night terrors, shall we?”

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crownin-thestars · 4 years

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BANGUNGUT

This might get a little dark at the end, sorry

Trigger warning by the way

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grian had started working with sleepless nights recently, and the other Hermits obviously noticed this, nearly falling asleep at some meetings.

It's day three of it and Grian is already experiencing many mood swings from the deprivation of sleep and gained major paranoia of things. Despite the others protests, he refuses to go to bed, claiming they would come for him.

He's never mentioned who they is, but they only guessed it was some myth he started believing in.

It was now day seven of Grian being an insomniac. His attention span was even shorter than before, and he's forgotten many recent events like the mayoral race. Luckily he remembers them when one of the Hermits reminds him about them.

Xisuma being Xisuma, grows extremely worried for the young hermit, knowing that if he doesn't get any sleep, he could die. Not many of the others know about that though.

On day nine, however, during a meeting, Grian claimed he had seen a creeper or some sorts. Sure he saw something green, but it was definitely not a creeper, just a bush on the shelf.

As the sleep masters of the server, Wels and Bdubs try their hardest to get him to go to bed, ultimately giving up after hours of convincing. All of them knew that Grian was extremely unhealthy from his low body temperature despite still living in the dense jungle. His eyes were red from the lack of sleep.

Stress tried giving him some sleeping potions, non of which were working for some reason. They had always worked so well on Scar when he overworks.

It was day eleven since the insomniac came about. Many had given up, but some kept trying.

They had another meeting that day. As they were about to go on to the mayoral campaign, Mumbo quickly shushed everyone as he looked at Grian.

He's finally fallen asleep.

Relief came over all the Hermits, not having to worry about the blonde's deprivation of sleep. Of course, they ended the meeting early, and they brought him to his large mansion to put him to bed.

Xisuma got Iskall and False to stay in the mansion to make sure he didn't try getting out of bed. They happily obliged, wanting their gremlin friend to be protected.

As they were walking out the mansion, they all heard a blood curdling scream coming from Grian's bedroom. After that, silence. . . Dead silence. . .

The Hermits rushed in to see what happened. Grian was still laying in bed, but it didn't feel right to Scar. He went over to the bed, lightly shaking him while quietly calling his name. The rest searched around looking for a source of the sound.

Joe and Cleo searched around his room, finding that he had not actually consumed the sleeping potions given, and was instead drinking and unhealthy amount of coffee to stay awake.

Tango and Impulse had found a note on a little bulletin board Grian had put up for himself. They read it to themself silently, eyes widening at what was written. Zedaph looked over their shoulders to try and read it, but Impulse had pushed him back down. Poor Zed, too precious to see it.

Many heads turned back to the bed as Scar's voice got significantly louder and more unsteady. He bit his lip, holding back tears. He looked up, making eye contact with Doc. He's studied medical, he should know what to do.

The creeper cyborg looked down at the pale youngling, denial setting in. He quickly checked for a pulse. He couldn't believe what he was afraid of actually happened. He turned to the rest of the group, stuttering slightly.

"G-Grian is gone. . ."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count: 631 words

Got a little dark as I said. If you have no idea what just happened, Bangungut is SUNDS in Filipino. SUNDS stands for Sudden Unexplained Nocturnal Death Syndrome. This mostly affects men aged 20-40 years old. As the name of it says, how the person died is unknown, therefore unexplained. Looking at the timeline under 1988 it's probably fueled by trauma because 'refugees in U.S'

I got the idea to write this while watching MatPat's theory on Try To Fall Asleep. I was originally thinking about using Bdubs but then I thought I could probably link it back to EVO cuz why not

Hope you enjoyed (even though it's short)

#hermitcraft #grian #iskall85 #mumbo #xisuma #joe hills #zombiecleo #tangotek #impulsesv #zedaph #falsesymmetry #stressmonster #docm77 #welsknight #bdouble0 #goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft fanfic #fanfic

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svtxsoju · 4 years

Text

02. morning glory fizz | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is! ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Joshua x baking major!OC, and more TBA! ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, suggestions of sex, language ღ Word Count: 4.9k words ღ Binu’s Note: a week late but better late than never i guess 😌 i’ve been avoiding tumblr to finish writing this, but i just kept getting distracted by choi seungcheol. hit that mf like button if you relate. i’m so excited for the special album y’all the teasers and concepts are so sadkfklsj i love seventeen

anyway, i apologize not only for the late update, BUT ALSO bc this chapter is also a lot of exposition again 😔🥺 i promise i’m done setting it all up and that some real shit will go down in the next chapter!! hopefully people will still be able to enjoy this chapter huhuhu 😭💗 if you’re reading this, i love u and i hope u have a good weekend!!

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Disclaimer ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Having already completed the first half of her college career, Joohyun was well aware of the value of sleep. And yet, like most college students, she could never seem to manage a decent sleeping schedule. She had only slept 2 hours when her alarm went off at 5:30AM. She groggily rolled out of bed, mentally cursing her past self for thinking that this was a good idea when clearly, the best idea at the moment was to snuggle back up under her covers and sleep in until afternoon. Only one of her eyes seemed capable of staying open as she pulled on her clothes and got ready for the day. When she suddenly heard the front door close behind her roommate, she cursed out loud, throwing her laptop into her bag before she rushed out the door. She half-wobbled, half-hopped along the second-story walkway while she tried to get her shoes all the way on.

“Bok Bongseon! Wait for me!” Joohyun called out in an aggressive whisper.

“HOLY SHIT! You scared me, Joo!” her roommate, a shorter girl with full cheeks and pouty lips, screamed at full volume. She clutched at her racing heart and leaned against the wall while she caught her breath.

“Shut up, people are still sleeping!” Joohyun linked arms with Bongseon and dragged her down the steps leading to the street. It was still dark outside, but she could already hear the faint bustling of the mart located below their apartment. It was nice to know that they weren’t the only two people in Seoul insane enough to be awake at this hour.

“I thought you were the ghost of my grandma, you bitch! You know she visits me in my dreams to tell me how disappointed she that I’m a baker,” Bongseon said indignantly, though she still cuddled closer to Joohyun when they were hit by the morning chill. Once they reached the street, they both headed towards the train station without having to say a word. “What are you even doing up?”

“I am simply accompanying my favorite roommate to work to make sure that she gets there safely,” Joohyun crooned sweetly, and made kissy faces at the girl, who in turn pinched Joohyun’s lips between her calloused fingers. She tried to protest but could only let out pained whines until she was mercifully released. “Ow!”

“Sorry but I cannot fulfill your roommates to lovers, 12k slowburn fantasy,” Bongseon continued on nonchalantly as they climbed down the steps to the platform. “You had your chance, but I am a taken girl!”

“Oh, so you and Josh are together today?” Joohyun teased. Although it probably wasn’t the best idea, considering her lips were slightly throbbing from the girl’s attack. “I’ll just wait until tomorrow then.”

“Wow, bold words coming from Miss Fish Lips.” Bongseon raised an eyebrow and smiled tauntingly. “Understandable, considering that that was probably the most action your lips have gotten in your entire life. I could probably set it up on a blind date with my fist, if you’d like.”

Joohyun’s laughter echoed off the walls of the mostly empty station, startling the only other person waiting for the morning train (an old woman, who was still half-asleep prior to being rudely awakened by two very loud girls). Bongseon often made some colorful threats, morning or not, but Joohyun was one of the very few people who could be assured that her words were empty. “Don’t you know that it’s rude to stare, lady?” she barked at the old woman, who was openly glaring at them. Everyone else, on the other hand, was subject to Bongseon’s sharp temper.

This even included her boyfriend of approximately 4 years. ‘Approximately’ being the key word, because the two often took breaks-- a natural phenomenon when one partner was easily provoked and the other loved to do the provoking. Jihoon had told Joohyun that the two had met at the cafe in their freshman year, when Bongseon came in as a part-time baker and Joshua was merely a barista trainee. They started dating within a month and moved into an apartment together in two. That went just as well as anyone would expect. By the grace of whatever entity that was chaotic enough to keep their relationship intact, they made it 7 months before nearly breaking things off for good. As luck would have it though, a new hire and his roommate were in the same exact predicament as them. Kind of.

Joohyun shuddered to recall her freshman year when she and Jihoon somehow convinced themselves that it was a good idea to share an apartment. In principle it made sense; they had lived across the street from each other since they were in diapers. Two exhausting months into trying to irritate the other into breaking the lease first, they met Bongseon and Joshua when Jihoon started working at Smile Flower. It didn’t take long for Joohyun to suggest the switch— she would move in with Bongseon and Joshua with Woozi. Just like that, she saved both Bongseon and Joshua’s turbulent romance (temporarily) and her and Woozi’s fractured friendship (now thriving).

She and Bongseon have been roommates ever since, and Joohyun knew her life was a little easier for it.

“Joohyun, you better stop looking at me with those heart eyes before I really act up,” Bongseon warned. They had boarded the train, but hadn’t bothered to sit down since Mansae University station was only two stops away.

“But I just love you so much,” Joohyun pouted, affectionately resting her head on her friend’s shoulder. “What does Joshua have that I don’t?”

“A dick. And that’s about it.”

“Damn you, heterosexuality!”

Bongseon snorted out a laugh. “Seriously Joo, how are you awake right now? You’re only ever this lovey-dovey when you’re severely sleep deprived. I know you don’t have classes until 3PM today. You also don’t have your internship today,” Bongseon narrowed her eyes when Joohyun visibly tensed up at the mention of her current occupation. “Also, since when do you watch Youtube videos until 2am? And don’t think I didn’t notice that all of them were titled ‘Relationship Q&A’s’ and ‘I confessed to my crush and he said this!!!’. Got something to tell me, missy?”

It was so quiet on the train that Joohyun worried that Bongseon could hear all the wires in her brain short-circuit. With Bongseon’s cross-examination skills, it was a wonder why she pursued baking instead of joining her family’s firm. Come on, Joohyun, just tell a white lie. Easy, simple. Don’t need to overcomplicate things. “Oh, uh I— um— well, I j-just thought they were entertaining?” She was done for.

“Right. You thought random couples self-indulgently talking about their love lifes for 40 minutes with default iMovies effects were entertaining.”

“Y-yes?” Joohyun threw in her most convincing smile for good measure, but it did nothing to soften Bongseon’s hard gaze. “It’s my new guilty pleasure, haha!”

“Hm, interesting,” Bongseon was momentarily interrupted by the sound of the arrival bell. Joohyun eagerly pulled her friend towards the exit, hoping that the distance from the train could also get her further away from the topic. Unfortunately for her, Bongseon did not plan on dropping it so soon. “You sure you don’t want to tell me anything, Joo? About your internship?”

Joohyun began to sweat. Was she really that transparent? “Okay, don’t get mad--”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m super jazzed that you’re getting into relationships and everything, but really Joo? Youtube? You could just talk to me if you need help talking to your new crush at your job!”

“Oh.” Joohyun would have let out a sigh of relief if she wasn’t out of breath from climbing the mountain of stairs up to the sidewalk. “Right. Confessing. To my crush. That I definitely have.”

“It’s okay to admit you have one, Joo. I’m no stranger to workplace romance,” Bongseon said, her breathing completely even. A measly flight of stairs was nothing compared to eight hours of kneading dough. “Who’s the lucky bastard, Joo?”

“Well, I’m not sure I would call it a workplace romance, per se…” Joohyun laughed nervously. There was no way she could stick another clean landing if she kept talking.

“Shut up, I bet that guy is in love with you already. Who wouldn’t fall for the only editing intern at The Front?”

“Haha, I don’t know…” Probably no one, because the only editing intern at The Front doesn’t exist?

Joohyun could not be more relieved to see the small store front of Smile Flower Cafe. It was one amongst the many cafes located near campus, but Joohyun felt like nothing really matched its comforting home-like ambience. But that probably had less to do with the soft wooden floors and pastel ceramic mugs, and more owed to the three years Joohyun had spent hanging around there, usually bothering Jihoon and joking around with Josh.

The two boys already stood waiting at the cafe’s entrance, too bleary-eyed to notice Joohyun and Bongseon quickly approaching. “Hey, ugly!” Joohyun called out, snickering when both of them turned to look at her.

“What the hell, why are you awake?”

“Good morning to you too, Jihoon,” she answered, blowing him a kiss. “I’m actually here to see you, believe it or not. Don’t you feel special?”

“Oh? That’s interesting, because you told me that you came here for me,” Bongseon broke away from exchanging actual kisses with Joshua to look between Joohyun and Jihoon in a way that Joohyun did not like too much. “I guess it wasn’t a workplace romance after all.”

Joshua mirrored his girlfriend’s implicating expression as he unlocked the front door, simply because he knew it made his friends squirm. “Wow Joohyun, you woke up this early just to talk to Jihoon? You really couldn’t wait to see him, huh?”

“Uh, yes because I need his help—”

“Ah, his help, gotcha! Come on, Bongseon, I’ll go help you in the kitchen while these two help each other out here,” Joshua snickered. Before Joohyun or Jihoon could roast the couple in retaliation, they had already disappeared behind the counter.

After years of similar taunts, all Jihoon could do was shake his head. “Okay Joo, what is so important that you need my help at 6 in the morning?”

“I wrote my first response last night!” Joohyun whispered excitedly, taking out her laptop from her bag. “Well, a few hours ago. I wanted to show you before continuing on with the rest! Here, look.”

① Dear Miss Soju,

I just started my first year at MU and she’s an exchange student from New York. We met at a party and talked for two hours about comics, aliens, anything we could think of. It was perfect. She even asked me to walk her home. When the time came for me to make a move though, I kind of dropped the ball. Since we had just met that night, I didn’t want to come off too strong. Now I really regret it - I don’t even have her phone number. I feel like such an idiot! I can’t stop thinking about her, but I don’t even know if I’ll ever talk to her again. Did I make myself seem disinterested? Will we meet again? Will she even remember me?

Sincerely,

Big Cringy Idiot

She let Jihoon read the asker’s message first, then scrolled down to show her answer.

Dear Big Cringy Idiot,

You and your crush seem to have a lot in common. There is nothing wrong with being nervous around someone you like. In fact, it is fairly normal and is a good sign that you like this girl very much. She also seems open to any future possiblities, since she did ask you to take her home. You need not worry about coming off too strong in this situation, although I do admire your dedication to respecting women’s boundaries. I hope you are able to find this girl again so that you can truly tell her how you feel. Best of luck to you!

Sincerely,

Miss Soju

“Joo, that was…”

“Poetic, beautiful, life-changing?” Joohyun grinned, and nudged her best friend with each suggestion.

“Boring. It was boring.” Joohyun’s face fell, and Jihoon could only offer the girl an apologetic smile. “Dude, you’re gonna put people to sleep if you keep it up like this. I almost took out a pillow to take a nap on the floor.”

“But this is how I write my articles— Informative and concise! How else am I supposed to write it?”

“I mean, that’s great for reporting articles, but this is an advice column. It’s supposed to be fun, sarcastic maybe. Like your promo piece! That was good.”

“I wrote that as a joke, hoping they would fire me for it,” Joohyun admitted, eyes wide in panic as she looked at her best friend.

“Huh. Well, I think it would sound better than this Wikipedia article you got going on,” Jihoon shrugged. “Try to be fun!”

“I am fun!” Joohyun cried out defensively, her nostrils flaring with passion. When Jihoon responded with a doubtful look, she let out a dramatic gasp and snatched up her laptop, stomping over to her favorite corner in the cafe. “I can be fun! I’ll show you fun!”

“Atta girl,” Jihoon’s signature cackle filled the cafe, further fueling the girl’s aggressive typing.

Just another morning in the life of So Joohyun.

To the surprise of the cafe’s current occupants, a student already tapped at the glass entrance, clearly in desperate need of his morning americano. He had walked all the way from the freshman dorms after a restless night of tossing and turning. When his phone screen told him it was already 6:05AM, he decided to just give up on sleep altogether. So there he was, trying to start off his day right, at Smile Flower Cafe, only to be stopped at the door by the grumpy barista with the red hair. He always felt like the other one was way nicer, especially since he would go out of his way to sneak him free cookie samples and made pleasant small talk while ringing him up (what was his name? Jonathan?).

All the red-haired barista ever did was scowl at him when he asked for a student discount. Now, he scowled at him as he gestured at the sign that indicated that the cafe would not be open until 7AM. The fatigued freshman had half a mind to make some choice gestures of his own, but he refrained and just whipped out his phone instead. He gave the mean barista one last pout before turning around and walking towards the 24-hour convenience store on campus.

➠ [ to: vernonie 😌😎 ] Good morning king. Are you still on your shift ?

➠ [ from: vernonie 😌😎 ] gm seungkwan pls k*ll me

Seungkwan took that as a yes. It didn’t take long for him to arrive, the entrance bell ringing lightly when he stepped into the small store. At the register sat his roommate, who was clearly fighting to keep his eyes open. “Wol-cuh ‘n—” he tried to greet through a wide-mouthed yawn. “Excuse me, welcome in! Oh, hey Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan answered with a grunt and headed straight for the refrigerated coffee section, choosing the largest can.

“Uh dude, you good? You look like—”

“Like I haven’t slept all night? I am aware,” He immediately opened his coffee and took a long gulp of the beverage in hopes of feeling even a little better. When it did nothing after 30 seconds, he frowned at the concerned cashier. “Vernon, I will not be paying for this drink, because it is clearly defective. Coffee is supposed to fix everything.”

“Is this about your audition today?” Vernon asked, eyebrows furrowed. “Your monologue sounded really solid last night though. Your audition songs were great too. You totally got this in the bag!”

“It’s not just about the audition, sweet Vernon,” Seungkwan sighed. “It’s about who I’m going to see at the audition. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.”

“Oh yeah, you are probably going to see them later.” For the past week, all Seungkwan could talk about was the theater tech sophomore that he had met at the theater department’s welcome party. They had sat beside Seungkwan and had helped him through all the fast-paced drinking games, and even took some of his shots when he kept losing. Surely, this was what love felt like.

That was what Seungkwan hoped anyway, because whatever it was made him feel all warm and tingly inside (or it could have just been the alcohol). Nevertheless, he had made big plans to confess to his crush as soon as possible. His dilemma for the past several days was merely a matter of how it would be done. “Not probably! I know for a fact that they will be there, because they told me that they couldn’t wait to see me,” Seungkwan let out a wail and slumped over the counter. “They’re the sweetest, most beautiful person to ever walk the earth and I just want to tell them that I would actually jump off a bridge for them. Why is that so difficult?”

Vernon nodded sympathetically as he always did. “I mean, if you’re not ready today, maybe you could wait?”

“Wait?! No offense babe, but last time I checked, waiting didn’t get you anywhere,” Seungkwan said, patting his roommate’s arm. Vernon cringed as he was forced to remember his own romantic blunder from the past week. “Clearly, we are both in major need of help. That Woozi guy’s show didn’t do anything for us! Also, we still haven’t heard from that Miss Soju character and it’s been what? Two days? If she’s such an expert, she would know that love is time sensitive!”

“Ugh, I know. I keep refreshing The Front’s website just to see if she’s posted it yet.” Vernon sighed forlornly, which was a common punctuation to his sentences lately. “It’s getting me really antsy. What if she doesn’t even choose to answer our emails this time?”

Seungkwan quickly covered the other freshman’s mouth. “Don’t say that! The universe manifests what we say will happen. We should ask for divine intervention instead.” He cleared his throat in preparation and threw his hands up to the sky. “O Eros, god of love, please shine your blessings down upon my and Vernonie’s love lives for we are but two humble, clueless freshmen in need of romantic guidance. Send down two of your swiftest, sharpest arrows, so that those that we desire may hear your soft whispers—”

Ding. The sound of the entrance bell rang once more, stopping Seungkwan’s prayer short, much to his irritation. “Is this a bad time?” the new customer, an ethereally handsome blonde, asked amusedly. He strode into the store and grabbed two spicy tuna triangle kimbab’s before approaching the counter.

“Jeonghan hyung!”

“Ah, Vernon!” Jeonghan smiled. “I didn’t know you worked here. You should come by my and Cheol’s apartment again soon, that was fun!”

“Hyung, this is my roommate that I told you about-- Seungkwan. And Seungkwan, this is Seungcheol hyung’s roommate,” Vernon said all while ringing up Jeonghan’s food. On the side, Seungkwan bowed sheepishly after unfreezing from his previous pose. “How’s your morning going? You wake up pretty early!”

Jeonghan laughed heartily, shaking his head. “Oh no, I just finished an all-night stream. I just came by to get a snack before heading to bed. Seems like you two have been having a fun morning, though. Do you two always start your day off by praying to the ancient Greek god of desire?”

Seungkwan flushed a deep pink. “Uh no, it was more like a cry of desperation. Vernon and I are having a pretty tough time confessing to our crushes, so I figured we should just try out anything that might help us. Nothing else seems to be working…”

“Wait, that’s so cute,” Jeonghan cooed.

“Would you be able to give us some advice, hyung?” Vernon asked. He didn’t know anything about the senior’s love life, but he did give off the vibe of someone who would know… a lot.

Jeonghan’s eyes twinkled dangerously, a lazy smirk on his lips. “I mean, I could go talk to your little crushes for you, if you’d like. I’m sure I could get some sort of response out of them.”

One look at Jeonghan had Vernon and Seungkwan shaking their heads vehemently.

“No, we’re good.”

“Yeah, no thanks.”

“Mm, good call.” Jeonghan took his food from the counter, and winked at the two boys. “I really wish I could help you both more, but I’m sure you’ll get what you’re waiting for soon! Today, if you want it enough.”

There was something in the way that the senior stated those words that made Seungkwan believe him without a question. It wasn’t a naive suggestion or an optimistic prediction; Jeonghan spoke like it was the truth plainly written on the walls. He finally felt a long-awaited wave exhaustion wash over his anxieties, softening them until they fizzled away alongside the ebbing foam. All that was left behind were grains of sand. Suddenly, Seungkwan yawned, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his twin bed at the dorms.

“Well, I should be heading off to bed! Looks like you should be too, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan said, suppressing his own yawn. The freshman nodded in agreement. He definitely needed to rest up— this was going to be a big day, after all.

“Say hi to Cheol hyung for me when you get home!” Vernon said.

Jeonghan hummed thoughtfully as he made his way back to the entrance of the store. “I will if he’s there! He didn’t come home last night.” He turned to leave the boys with one last sleepy smile, seeming to laugh at something only he knew.

“At least one of us is doing something right.”

“Jihoon, why can’t I get this right?”

“I’m sorry! This just sounds nothing like you,” Jihoon shrugged. It had been a rather busy morning, but things slowed down as it approached noon, giving him the chance to look at Joohyun’s fourth draft of responses. “I’ve never heard you say stuff like ‘rad’ or ‘hella’... Like are you aware that you sound like a skater from the late 90’s?”

“That’s because the reference I’ve been using is from 1997!” Joohyun huffed in frustration. She was already backspacing albeit with a little more force than necessary. “I wasn’t even born in ‘97!”

“Exactly, so stop trying to write like that. What if you tried to—”

“Eat my ass, Hong!” The sound of the kitchen door slamming open interrupted Jihoon’s (probably unhelpful) suggestion, and the two best friends watched as Bongseon stormed out of the cafe in a familiar rage. Luckily, there were no customers to witness it this time.

Instinctively, they looked to the kitchen door, where Joshua stood with a resigned smile on his full lips. “Oops,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck apologetically. “Guess it was too soon to joke about our last break. Sorry about that, Jihoon. I’ll try to call in the head baker early to finish up the rest of the pastries for today.”

He walked over to where they sat and plopped himself across from Joohyun. She offered Joshua a look of sympathy, but he responded by twisting his face up in a dumb expression, reassuring her that he was just fine. Still, she couldn’t help feeling worried for both of her friends. No matter how many times Bongseon and Joshua broke it off and no matter how much Joohyun joked about it, she knew that their strong feelings for each other meant that it hurt a little every time they got into a fight. At least, that’s what she gathered from the various nights she spent soothing Bongseon while the girl cried into a toilet bowl, soju bottle still in hand.

“It’s okay, Josh, you probably don’t have to worry too much. Knowing her, she’ll probably be back in 30 minutes to make up with you and then Jihoon will have to find someone to take over your shift,” Joohyun piped up. “But please take it back to your apartment this time, because I don’t make enough money to have every surface of my apartment sanitized again.”

Joshua let out an easy laugh, as though he were not a man in deep shit. “Thank you, Joo. You always know what to say to make me feel better,” he sighed. “I should probably go after her. I’ll be back soon, Jihoon!”

She waited for him to disappear out the door before turning to her best friend. “Wow, that’s gotta be a new record for them, right? I didn’t even know they got back together until this morning.” Joohyun was surprised to find that Jihoon had been silently staring at her for a good minute now. “...Why are you looking at me?”

“What you said to Joshua,” Jihoon simply replied.

“Oh, I was only joking about the sanitation thing. I just walked in on them once in the kitchen—“

“No I mean, how you said it. Maybe that’s how you should be writing your responses.” Jihoon grinned, watching as Joohyun gave him that look again, the one where she looks at him like he’s speaking from a third head. But he knew that this was going to be another Jihoon Genius moment, which seemed to be happening more frequently lately, much to his satisfaction. “Like you’re talking to one of your friends. I mean, it made Josh feel better, right?”

Joohyun’s eyebrows scrunched together and she mulled the idea over. Without another word to Jihoon, she began to slowly type on her laptop, gradually tapping faster and faster as she gained momentum. Her best friend giddily returned to his place behind the counter to tend to the customers that just walked in. He knew that once she got into a groove, there was no hope of stopping her.

An hour later, Joohyun finally pushed away her laptop and waited for Jihoon to finish wiping down a table before calling him over. For some reason, she was anxious to show him the final product and even when he already sat besie her, she hesitated for a beat. Usually, her writing was professional and objective, always ending with a declarative period. She had spent years perfecting her reporting style so that when she presented the facts, that’s all they were. This, however, felt personal, like it was a part of her. And even though Jihoon probably knew her even better than herself sometimes, there was something so vulnerable about showing someone a side of her that she had only just discovered.

And yet, she was curious to know— desperate to know: was it any good?

“Well?” Joohyun watched for Jihoon’s reaction closely, both impatient and terrified to hear his thoughts.

“Joohyun, this...” Jihoon started slowly. She braced for impact. “This is it. I think you’ve found Miss Soju’s voice.”

She exhaled. “R-really?”

“Yes, really. You answered the questions so thoughtfully, so you know it’s not just some generic bullshit you found on the internet. Plus, it was fun to read, like I think I’d read this even if I didn’t send a letter in,” Jihoon gushed, all while skimming over the words again. He turned to smile brightly at her, reminding Joohyun of a much younger Jihoon back in their elementary school days. “Most importantly though, it’s so you.”

Joohyun returned the smile, just as brightly. Warmth bloomed in her chest and across her cheeks. “Thanks, Jihoon, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Honestly, me neither,” Jihoon laughed.

“Um, can I ask you one more thing though?” Joohyun scrolled down to the last two entries, both of which asked for advice on how to make things official with a guy they’ve been talking to. The two letters were extremely similar in detail, but had been sent from two different emails and two different signatures. At first, she thought that maybe her judgement was muddled by her lack of sleep, and as the day went on, she figured her inability to recognize any nuance between the two letters was thanks her lack of experience.

There was just something about the way they had described the boy. She knew that intelligent, funny, kind-hearted, and unbelievably handsome were pretty generic adjectives. But what were the odds for both letters to also mention his infectious laugh and deep, dark eyes? “Do you think these two are from the same person? I’m trying to go for a confession theme for this article, so I included them both, but I’m afraid they’re too similar.”

Jihoon read them over a couple of times, then shrugged. “They do sound pretty similar, but a lot of people go through that sort of thing. Also, so many people describe their crushes like that, but let’s be real, most of them end up being fuckboys. So trust me, both those people probably need your help. I mean, what’s the harm in publishing both, right?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Joohyun bit her lip, needing every ounce of reassurance she could get from her best friend. She read over her writing once, twice, thrice more. This was it. No more edits and no more excuses. Her finger hovered over the mousepad. “Okay, I”m going to send it in for approval now. Jihoon, you are about to witness me publish my first article for The Front.”

Joohyun took a deep breath and clicked. Finally.

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lowcarbnutrients · 5 years

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If You Sleep Less Than 8 Hours, This is What`s Happening to Your Body Right Now

According to the docudrama, Sleepless in America, coproduced by the National Geographic Channel, 40 percent of Americans are sleep deprived. Many get much less than five hrs of rest each night. Percentage-wise, teens are among the most rest deprived.

The consequences are dire, not simply for the individual that isn't really getting sufficient rest, yet for those around them. While most individuals do not provide lack of rest much thought, there are in fact lethal consequences.

Notably, "professionals currently believe that sleep deprivation might have played a role in the Exxon Valdez oil spill, the Staten Island ferry crash, and also the Three-Mile Island nuclear meltdown," the film states. Numerous individuals have actually also lost their lives to worn out vehicle drivers who merely fallinged asleep behind the wheel.

It's essential to understand that getting less compared to six hours of rest each evening leaves you cognitively hindered. Rest deprivation has actually additionally been connected to wellness results such as weight problems, diabetes, heart disease, Alzheimer's, 1and cancer. Anxiety as well as anxiousness conditions are likewise adversely influenced by absence of sleep.

The Importance of Staying in Sync with Nature

Maintaining an all-natural rhythm of exposure to sunlight during the day and also darkness in the evening is one critical fundamental element of sleeping well.

This was attended to in a previous interview with researcher Dan Pardi. In it, he clarifies how direct exposure to intense daytime functions as the significant synchronizer of your master clock-- a group of cells in your mind called the suprachiasmatic cores (SCN).

These centers integrate to the light-dark cycle of your atmosphere when light enters your eye. You likewise have other body clocks throughout your body that are integrated to your master clock.

One reason why many individuals get so little sleep, and/or such poor sleep, can be traced back to a master clock disturbance. In other words, a lot of individuals invest their days indoors, protected from intense daytime, then spend their nights in too-bright fabricated light.

As a result, their body clocks obtain out of sync with the all-natural rhythm of daytime and also nighttime darkness, when that happens, corrective rest ends up being elusive.

An approximated 15 million Americans also function the evening change, as well as the damaging health and wellness impacts of functioning evenings are well documented. As just one instance, 3 years of periodical graveyard shift job can raise your threat for diabetes by 20 percent, and also this risk continuouslies climb with time.

What Takes place When You're Rest Deprived?

What makes rest deprivation so detrimental is that it doesn't just impact one aspect of your wellness ... it impacts several. Among them are 5 major dangers to your psychological as well as physical wellness:

1. Reaction time slows: When you're sleep-deprived, you're not going to react as quickly as you normally would, making driving or various other potentially unsafe tasks, like making use of power tools, unsafe. One research even located that sleepiness behind the wheel was virtually as dangerous as drinking and driving.2

2. Your cognition suffers-- both brief- and long-term: A single night of resting just 4 to 6 hours can influence your ability to think clearly the following day. In one animal study, 3 rest deprived mice shed 25 percent of the nerve cells found in their place coeruleus, a nucleus in the brainstem related to cognitive processes.

Hence, if you're sleep-deprived you will certainly have difficulty refining information as well as deciding. This is why it's so vital to get a great evening's sleep before crucial occasions at the workplace or home.

For example, study reviewed in the film located that diagnostic blunders soared by 400 percent among medical professionals that had actually functioned for 24 successive hours.

Sleep denied clinical residents likewise reported a 73 percent rise in self-inflicted needle sticks and scalpel stabs, and also when driving home from work, they had a 170 percent boosted threat of having a significant automobile accident.

Research4 also suggests that individuals with persistent sleep problems might create Alzheimer's illness quicker compared to those who rest well. Among the reasons for this is due to the fact that rest is crucial for brain cleansing-- a procedure throughout which damaging healthy proteins linked to Alzheimer's are removed out.

3. Memory and discovering decreases: The procedure of mind growth, or neuroplasticity, is believed to underlie your mind's capability to manage behavior, including discovering as well as memory. Rest and sleep loss change the expression of a number of genetics and also genetics products that may be important for synaptic plasticity.

Furthermore, specific forms of lasting potentiation, a neural process linked with the laying down of learning and also memory could be evoked in sleep, suggesting synaptic links are strengthened while you slumber.

4. Emotions are heightened: As your reaction time and cognition reduces, your emotions will certainly be kicked into high equipment. This means that debates with colleagues or your partner are most likely, and you're probably reallying going to be at mistake for blowing things out of proportion.

The amygdala controls fundamental feelings like worry and anger. As talked about in the movie, an additional location of your brain called your frontal cortex, plays an essential part in the policy of feelings, and also rest is crucial for its function.

When you're well relaxed, your frontal cortex is well connected to your amygdala-- that deep emotional center-- and also functions virtually like "a break to your emotional gas pedal."

Sleep starvation triggers a detach between these two brain centers, permitting your emotions to run amok. Sleep deprival likewise plays an important role in mental disease, and has the tendency to cause even more negative psychiatric outcomes.

5. Immune function and also health wears away: Sleep deprivation has the same effect on your immune system as physical anxiety or disease, 5 which could aid describe why absence of sleep is linked to an increased threat of countless chronic diseases.

For instance, research study shows that resting much less compared to six hours per evening greater than triples your danger of hypertension, as well as females who get less than 4 hrs of slumber per evening double their chances of dying from heart disease.6

You Need Around Eight Hrs of Rest Every Night

The research studies are rather clear and most experts concur, you are seriously deceiving on your own if you believe you can do great on less compared to eight hours of rest. Eight hours of sleep is not 8 hours in bed. If you go to bed at 10 pm and also rise at 6 am, you might claim you've slept for 8 hrs. Actually, you probably spent a minimum of 15-30 mins going to sleep and also might have woken throughout the night several times.

With the development of fitness-tracking devices nonetheless, we now have accessibility to actual sleep information (as well as much more) from wristband customers. The data is rather beneficial on an individual level as well as they assisted me understand that I have to start obtaining to rest around 9.30 PM if I intend to obtain a full eight hours of sleep, which I currently normally do.

The Glorification of Sleep Deprivation

According to the 2013 International Room Survey by the National Sleep Foundation, 7 25 percent of Americans report having to reduce down on rest due to lengthy workdays. Typically, Americans obtain only 6.5 hours of sleep on weeknights, yet report needing 7.25 hrs in order to operate ideally. As noted in a previous article in The Atlantic: 8

" For some, sleep loss is a badge of honor, an indication that they don't require the eight-hour biological reset that the remainder people softies do. Others feel that maintaining up with peers needs sacrifice at the personal level-- and at least in the short-term, sleep is an undetectable sacrifice."

Modern male's propensity for equating sleep with unproductiveness (if not outright laziness) can be traced back to the heyday of Thomas Edison, that was understood for working around the clock. According to the highlighted post: 9

" Edison spent considerable amounts of his very own and also his team's energy on in publicizing the idea that success depended in no little part in staying awake to remain in advance of the technological and also financial competition." No one ... did even more to frame the problem as a simple choice in between efficient job and also unsuccessful remainder ...

Over time, kids's books as well as journals started to promote this sort of Edisonian asceticism ... Edison encouraged all Americans to follow his lead, asserting that resting 8 hours a night was a waste as well as also hazardous. "There is truly no reason why guys need to go to bed in any way," he stated in 1914."

This society of sleep deprival began with the innovation of the light bulb, and has just worsened with the proliferation of light-emitting electronic devices, which disrupt your all-natural waking-sleeping cycle. The complying with infographic, developed by BigBrandBeds.co.uk, illustrates just how your electronic gadgets damage your sleep when recruited before bedtime.10

The Importance of Attending to Rest Apnea

As gone over in the film, sleep apnea is another usual reason of rest deprival. Rest apnea is the lack of ability to breathe properly, or the restriction of breath or breathing, during sleep. Obstructive sleep apnea consists of the constant collapse of the air passage during rest, making it hard to take a breath for periods lasting as long as 10 seconds. Those with an extreme form of the disorder contend the very least 30 interruptions per hr. Not only do these breathing disruptions conflict with rest, leaving you uncommonly tired the following day, it additionally lowers the amount of oxygen in your blood, which can harm the feature of interior organs and/or intensify other health problems you may have.

The condition is closely connected to metabolic illness such as excessive weight as well as type 2 diabetes mellitus, and also according to research, 11 also a small weight decrease can stop the development of obstructive rest apnea. Shedding excess pounds could also cure it, according to one five-year lengthy study.12 That claimed, you do not have to be obese to suffer from sleep apnea. As discussed by Dr. Arthur Strauss, a dental medical professional and a diplomat of the American Board of Dental Rest Medication, factors such as the sizes and shape of your mouth, and the positioning of your tongue, can additionally play a substantial role.

If your rest apnea is associated to your tongue or jaw placement, specialized qualified dental professionals could design a customized dental appliance to deal with the issue. These include mandibular rearranging devices, developed to change your jaw ahead, while others help hold your tongue onward without relocating your jaw. Relief could likewise be discovered through speech therapy treatment called oral myofunctional therapy, which assists to re-pattern your dental and also facial muscle mass. To learn more about this, please see my previous interview with Joy Moeller, who is a leading professional in this form of treatment in the US.

How to Support Your Circadian Rhythm and Rest Better for Optimum Health

Making little changes to your everyday program as well as sleeping area can go a lengthy method to make sure undisturbed, relaxing sleep and also, therefore, much better health and wellness. I suggest you review my full set of 33 healthy and balanced sleep guidelines for all of the details, however to start, take into consideration implementing the complying with adjustments to make sure even more shut-eye:

Avoid seeing TELEVISION or recruiting your computer system in the evening, at least an hour or so prior to visiting bed.These gadgets give off blue light, which techniques your brain right into assuming it's still daytime. Generally, your mind starts secreting melatonin in between 9 as well as 10 pm, and these gadgets discharge light that could stifle that process. You can likewise download a cost-free application called F.lux13 that automatically lowers your monitor or screens in the night, which can assist decrease the damaging results if you have to recruit them in the evening.

Get some sun in the early morning, and also at the very least HALF AN HOUR of BRIGHT sunlight direct exposure mid-day. Your circadian system needs brilliant light to reset itself. 10 to 15 mins of early morning sunlight will certainly send a solid message to your body clock that day has arrived, making it much less likely to be perplexed by weak light signals during the evening. If you work inside your home, make a point to get outdoors for at the very least an overall of 30-60 minutes throughout the brightest part of the day.

Sleep in a dark room. Also the slightest little light in your room can interrupt your body's clock as well as your pineal gland's melatonin production. I recommend covering your windows with drapes or blackout shades, or using an eye mask.

Install a low-wattage yellow, orange, or red light bulb if you require a source of light for navigating during the night. Light in these transmission capacities does not closed down melatonin production in the means that white as well as blue transmission capacity light does. Salt lights come in handy for this purpose.

Keep the temperature in your bedroom below 70 degrees F. Many individuals maintain their homes too cozy (especially their upstairs bed rooms). Studies reveal that the optimal room temperature for rest is between 60 to 68 degrees F.

Take a hot bathroom 90 to 120 minutes before bedtime. This raises your core body temperature level, and when you obtain out of the bathroom it abruptly goes down, signifying your body that you prepare to sleep.

Avoid magnetic fields (EMFs) in your bedroom. EMFs can interrupt your pineal gland and also its melatonin manufacturing, and also might have various other adverse organic impacts. A gauss meter is called for if you wish to determine EMF degrees in various locations of your residence. Preferably, you must switch off any type of wireless router while you are resting. You don't need the Internet on while you're asleep.

Use a health and fitness tracker to track your sleep. Chances are you're not getting almost as much rest as you think, and using a physical fitness tracker that monitors your sleep can be an useful device to assist inspire you to obtain to bed previously so you can get 8 hrs of sleep. When I initially began making use of a fitness tracker, I was striving to obtain 8 hours of sleep, but my Jawbone UP commonly tape-recorded me at 7.5 to 7.75. Part of the equation too is going to sleep earlier, as the majority of us have to obtain up at a predetermined time.

#diet #health and wellness #lemonade diet #wellness

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frugalhoe · 5 years

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Las Vegas - Stop #12 (2/15/19 - 2/17/19)

Jackpot Ultra Running Festival - 48 hour

My strategy was to not worry about pace.. just keep moving and to severly limit time sleeping and at the aid station.

Before the race started, I dropped off my suitcase and using my drop bag, set up my own aid station at the half way point of the course.

Quick photo with Elvis & a couple showgirls and I was off!

In an effort to avoid going out too fast, I wore extra layers at the start and began shedding layers one 2.5 mile lap at a time until I was down to shorts and a t shirt.

A little bit about the course - it was held in a park outside Vegas. The course was a horse shoe shape around a small pond. Some hills, bridge crossings, most of the course was made up of packed dirt roads but there was some cement and trail too! The diversity in terrain really helped break up the monotony of running for 48 hours straight.

After shedding my extra layers, I started falling into a nice groove. The sun was starting to come out and I began running more sections of the course. Eventually I was running almost all sections of the course for about 15 miles or so.

Despite feeling really great, I decided it was still really early in the race and dialed it back in by speed walking more sections.

Running all the downhills, dirt road and trail sections and speed walking everything else was more sustainable.

My nutrition and hydration was super on point throughout the race. I drank 5 to 10 oz of water, 2 small cups of soda and 2 Hammer electrolyte pills per lap.

I tried to plan out what to eat in the middle of my lap (i.e. before reaching the aid station). I ate tons of bean burritos and potato chips. The food was wonderful! I didn't linger at the aid stations. I mostly carried the food in my hands passing through but sometimes took a small plate of food with me when I felt I needed extra calories.

Throughout the entire race, the weather posed a big challenge. 40 mph winds, freezing rain and it even tried to snow (wtf Nevada?!).

I pushed through it all and just focused on consistently moving no matter what.

Night fall hit and I honestly really enjoy running alone in the dark. I ran a speedy 10 miles while most runners were sleeping in their cozy tents and RVs.

The course was well enough lit that I didn't feel the need to wear the headlamp back at my aid station. I dialed it back in again and added more walking in.

After about 12 hours into the race, I began using my muscle roller on my legs every lap which really helped prevent any major injuries etc.

I usually have bad swelling in my feet around mile 40 in ultras so I switched into my 8.5 size shoes around mile 45 which ended up being too early this time.

My feet were swollen but not yet swollen enough which lead to some shifting in my shoes....which lead to 2 large blisters near my heels. The strong winds started to really wear me out at this point as well. I decided a short nap in the heating tent might be worth it.

I crawled down onto a cot next to a poorly working propane outdoor heater and fell asleep. I awoke 2.5 hours later shivering. Eventually, I coaxed myself out of the tent and back on the course. The winds had died down a bit and I shuffled back to my aid station to drain the blisters on my feet and change back into my size 8 shoes (now will looser ties).

I kept moving along and continued to enjoy the peace and quiet on the course. I started listening to Pandora on my phone and was estatic when my pedometer maxed out at 99,999 steps.

I ran 47 miles the first day.

Eventually, the sun started to come up and fresh faced new runners started to gather. The second day meant other races would start - including the USTAF 100 mile national championship!

Not going to lie, it was HARD being passed by all these super fast runners when I was sleep deprived and tired. I felt self conscious and anxious. The course went from being 90 people to over 300 people 🙃.

I ate some egg burritos, pushed my hat down and just had tunnel vision...just focused on each step before me and less on people around me or what mile I was at etc.

The wind started to pick up again and more rain returned. My hat nearly blew off my head 3 or 4 times. Running the main downhill area started to become too painful so I started walking that.

I developed pinky toe blisters and made the decision to drain them and bandage them during the race. My eating and drinking was still consistent and I was still needing to take bathroom breaks (also a good sign). Muscle rolling was continuing to help and I was in good spirits.

By sun down, most of the other races had ended and the course became a lot less cluttered with runners. I felt less tense and just kept focusing on moving. I was still running some sections of the course...mostly just the dirt roads and train sections.

The race directors put on some movies at the aid station but I don't remember what movies they were.

It was cold and the rain turned into some flurries before going back to rain. After seeing other runners using trekking poles, I brought out mine to use. I had begun swerving walking and running at this point.

In addition to helping with my balance, the clacking of the poles also helped me stay awake and somewhat focused. I was running alone in the dark for the second night in a row and I hadn't slept since those 2.5 hours the previous night.

At some point during the second night (around mile 80?) I began hallucinating very badly. This is a common occurance in ultra running.

I was convinced that large chunks of the ground was lifting up and moving, blocking my path to the aid station.

I laid down on a big rock in the dark feeling lost and wondered if the other runners knew what was happening to the course 😖😓

I began shuffling from rock to bench to rock until I made it back to the aid station where I ate extra food and sat down for about 30 mins (?) until I got a better grip.

During this time I chatted with a few other runners and watched a Bolivian runner earn his 100 mile buckle. He sat down and cried and it helped inspire me to pull it together and go out and get mine too!

The pain wasn't getting any worse and I was getting another wind. I could barely run anymore so I mostly speed walked and ran the trail sections.

Someone stole my muscle roller from my aid station (never did get it back) so I wasn't able to work on my muscle soreness anymore.

I just kept pushing myself really hard and the laps kept ticking by.

The sun rose and in my final lap, I stopped a few times to really soak everything in. I had spent 48 hours on this course and my final lap was a bittersweet one. I was beyond exhausted but at the same time, I also didn't want it to stop.

I crossed the finish line and was presented two medals.

I won't say what my final mileage was but I did end up running further the second half of the race!

After the race, I ate some more food, changed into my hideous green Crocs and attended the awards ceremony.

As I was on my way to the bathroom to freshen up, I overhead some girls from my race talking about me. At first they were saying how nice I was but then it turned mean when one of them made a comment about me carrying a plate of food during the race. Another girl laughed and said that was probably why I was so fat.....

I've been running ultras for 8 or 9 years and I swear runners seem to get worse every year...

Upset, I stood in the bathroom for awhile before slowly cleaning myself up with baby wipes. I brushed my teeth and hair before changing into a clean pair of clothes.

When I left the restroom, all the girls were gone except one of the overall winners (she wasn't part of the conversation earlier). While charging our phones, we shared a really nice conversation and exchanged numbers :)

Eventually we said our goodbyes and I called an Uber to go have a celebratory brunch at the MGM Grand ✌

3/13/19

#vegas 2019 #las vegas #las vegas 2019 #running 2019 #ultra running 2019 #ultra running

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jelenadreaming · 6 years

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Friends- Part two

A/N: Obviously a large part of this is a figment of my imagination, while some of it is based on fact of how I would’ve imagined Justin and Selena reuniting for the first time, This is also probably my longest oneshot and is slightly racy towards the end, so here is my warning.Enjoy!

2:35 am. October 19

The sound of his phone awoke him from his deep slumber. He shifted on his bed hoping to ignore it, but after the fourth ring he realized whoever was calling was determined. With a loud groan he sat up from bed, checking the time on the alarm clock that read 2:35 am. He reached for his phone while disregarding the caller ID, answering the phone with a groggy hello.

“Justin..hi”.

The distinct voice of the familiar brunette woke him slightly. Although he felt the same familiar sense of happiness that was frequent whenever he heard from her her, the confusion within him was just as strong. Why was she calling him so late? Sure they had been working on a friendship, but she was so strict about those boundaries of hers, he couldn’t think of anything that would compel her to call at this time.

“Selena? is there a reason why you’re calling so late?”. Almost immediately he realized his tone could’ve come across as harsh and was about to apologize, but was cut off by her regretful voice.

“Shit.. I completely forgot about the time difference, i’m in New York right now, I’m sorry i’ll just-”.

“It’s fine really, i’m awake already, what’s up?”. He heard her sigh, his concern creeping up again.

“We broke up.”

there it was.

It was those three words that a messed up part of him had wanted to hear since he heard she was with another man. He knew it was horrible, she deserved happiness and Abel seemed to give it to her. But he was still human, a human that was sometimes selfish and frustrated with being unable to give and show all the love he had for her. For now though, he was a friend first and foremost, and wanted to act accordingly.

“Are you..are you okay?”

“I think I am, it was mutual and we didn’t really fight, it’s just.. I haven’t told anyone yet. They all liked him so much, I know what they’re going to say and I just don’t wanna hear any of them right now y’know? ” she said quietly.

He did know.

From the second he re-entered her life and she let her family and friends know, they weren’t shy to express how against it they were, how it could affect her relationship and that they wouldn’t accept him anytime soon. The chaos of it all he knew was affecting her, and for the first time since they got back in contact he wondered if maybe the best thing he could’ve done was stay away from her.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be”, she stated fiercely. “This breakup wasn’t only because of you, I knew what was going to happen if I let you in again, and that’s what i’m willing to deal with”.

There was more she wanted to say, he was sure of it. The way her breathing was a little heavier and she would hesitate and choose her words carefully. He had much to say too, but knew that neither of them were just ready to acknowledge whatever it was that was truly going on between them.

“When do you come back to town?”.

“In a few days” she responded. He couldn’t help but smile, the nerves creeping up on him as if he was sixteen again, planning to kiss her for the first time.

“Do you think we could see each then?”. he asked. There was a slight pause, and for a second he was unsure if she would agree. But then, he heard the tone her voice and let out a sigh of relief.

“I think we could” she responded.

Maybe her call was an impulsive moment of weakness, something she would regret in a few hours. But as the night passed and the next day approached, she still felt that whatever the hell she was doing was a step towards the right direction.

October 22. 10:00 pm

Their booming laughter echoed across the walls of his home as they watched the television screen in front of them. It had been a few hours since he had picked her up from the airport, and they had lasted the past three hours speaking about absolutely anything and everything that had occurred during the year they spent apart.

He noticed her eyelids slightly drooping and a muffled yawn as a result of her 5 hour flight, watching her as she rubbed her eyes together to keep her awake.

“Selena?”

She turned to acknowledge him and saw he was already staring at her, a lock of his ever-growing hair across his forehead. She considered brushing it out of his face with her fingers, but eventually decided against it.

“ You must be jet-lagged, don’t you think you should sleep?”. He saw a look of disappointment on her face before she quickly covered it up.

“Oh..I guess you’re right. It’s late anyway, I should get going-”.

“Wait, I didn’t mean you should go, It’s...I mean you could sleepover here, if you’d like” he blurted out. She stared at him with wide eyes, and he silently cursed himself out for shifting the mood with his blunt suggestion. He watched her sigh and braced himself for the disappoint to come.

“Justin-”.

“Its fine, I didn’t expect you to say yes. Just wanted you to know if you’re too tired you could stay here” he responded. She continued to stare at him, biting the inside of her cheek like she always did when she was concentrating on something.

“It wouldn’t be a smart thing honestly, if I spent the night here”.

“It’s just sleep Selena, I have guest rooms you could stay in and I promise I won’t do anything”, he responded. He thought it was almost pathetic at this point. He was almost pleading for her to stay, but yet he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t ready for the night to be over just yet.

Her eyes softened a bit and he thought maybe it was because she would reject him again, but then she leaned closer to him, almost as if she was telling him an intimate secret.

“It’s not that I’m worried you’ll do something, I’m worried that I will”.

He stared at her and felt her close proximity much more intensely. The sense of arousal that he had tried to block off his mind was creeping up again and as he looked back at her he saw a hazy look in her eyes- he had a feeling it wasn’t from being sleep deprived.

Before he could do anything, she had leaned back, getting up from the couch and walking towards the hallway. She looked back at him, a small smile on her face.

“I’m too tired to go back home at this point, which guest room should I sleep in?” she asked. He couldn’t stop the boyish grin that made it’s way on to his face before he pointed at the nearest room up the stairs.

12:40 am

2 hours.

She had managed to sleep two hours before she had woken up, tossing and turning ever since. She felt too hot and kicked off the covers that Justin had placed on her when she had gone to sleep, too tired to move after she had gotten in bed.

Getting up, she went to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, scoffing at her appearance. The two hours of sleep she had gotten was enough to give her a bed head. Her eyes had bags under them and her cheeks were flushed with a pink color. She didn’t feel much better either. Her stomach felt light and there was an overwhelming sense of frustration that she simply couldn’t brush off.

The faint sound of a bed shuffling captured her attention. The sound continued and as she walked towards it she found herself in front of his bedroom door. She almost decided to go back to her room, but as she noticed his door was slightly open, she peeked in.

It was mostly dark, but the moonlight seemed to lighten up the room just enough so that she could see his silhouette, confirming from his movements that he was in fact awake.

Go back to bed Selena.

Maybe if she replayed the phrase in her head long enough she would’ve followed through with it, yet somehow she found herself opening the door a little wider, stepping in.

“Justin”, she said quietly.

He quickly turned to see her in front of his door. The sight of her in a messy ponytail with only a big shirt to cover her body, was a sight he still hadn’t gotten used to from earlier in the night, bringing a rush of nostalgia to when it used to be a daily occurrence for him to see her this way.

“What’s wrong? can’t sleep?”.

She simply shook her head no, a sheepish look on her face. His eyes softened at her vulnerable appearance, standing up from his bed. The action caused his sheets to go lower, giving her the view to his recently tatted torso.

“I can’t sleep either” he told her. She crossed her arms over her chest, seemingly avoiding eye contact with him, becoming more aware of how thin the fabric of her shirt was, and how short it was.

“Come here” he said softly. She finally looked up at him. The closer proximity allowed her to see his features, his eyes big and eyebrows tensed awaiting for her answer. Walking over to the bed, she hesitated slightly, until he grabbed her wrist, gently bringing her in with him.

He wrapped his covers around them, but she didn’t feel it was necessary. Although he hadn’t touched her yet, his body heat was more than enough. They laid next to each other, shoulders touching and hands at their sides. After a few minutes he took a deep breath before shifting his body completely.

“Why are you here Selena?”.She was blindsided by his question, partly because she wasn’t sure of the answer herself.

“I told you.. I couldn’t sleep already”. He surprised her when a loud sarcastic chuckle came out from him.

“That’s bullshit Selena, this is really fucking hard for me and you just... you have no idea how much self control I need right now, I just need you to be clear because we shouldn’t be doing this if you want a friend-”.

She didn’t know if it was the built up tension from a year of not being with him, his statement, the close proximity, or a combination of everything, but somehow she found herself grabbing the back of his neck to pull him close and kiss him. It shocked him at first, but sooner than later he was kissing back just as fiercely. They both knew their mouths would be swollen from how hard their lips were moving against one another, but truthfully nothing mattered at the moment to them other than getting closer.

He lightly pulled her hair, bringing her body down on the bed and getting on top of her. Their tongues moved against one another as her hand traced his torso, wrapping her leg around his waist to bring him closer. She tried to think of why she should stop, she had just gotten out of a relationship, they were supposed to take it slow, and a million more other reasons. However, she couldn’t think for long about anything right now other than his large hands gripping her thigh, slowly moving under her shirt to cup her breast, tracing her nipple with his thumb.

In the morning she would allow herself to worry and have a serious discussion with him. But as for now, all she would do is bask in the euphoria of the present, with their sloppy and desperate movements giving them pleasure that they craved for much longer than they wished to admit. The night was one they knew would change everything, but also brought a familiarity they hadn’t felt in a while. Because for so long, it’s always been them two, and deep down, they both knew that it would be them two for a much longer time coming.

#jelena #jelena oneshot #fanfiction #jelena fanfiction #oneshot

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eternalstereksecretsanta · 6 years

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Sleep Don't Come Easy

@azurarainstuff | AO3

Teen and Up - Sleep deprivation; insomnia; alcohol mention

It’s 3:14 in the morning, and Derek is making tea. The kitchen tiles are cold beneath his bare feet as he waits for the kettle to heat up, but he hardly notices the discomfort. It’s been 26 hours since he’s had any sleep, longer since he’s had more than four hours in a row, and the world is starting to blur a little. Part of Derek hopes that the lemon and lavender tea will help. The rest knows that that’s only wishful thinking.

At this point he might as well stay awake until sheer exhaustion either knocks him out or kills him to relieve itself.

The thing is, he shouldn’t have any problems falling asleep. Things are good, and they have been for years. The pack is finally stable, Beacon Hills has calmed down, Derek has a job he enjoys, a house on the edge of the preserve, and a garden that would make his father proud. He doesn’t have to worry about anything.

And yet, here he is, standing alone in the dark, trying to remember what being happy or content feels like.

It started a few months ago, the restlessness. Derek doesn’t know what triggered it, and even though he knows it might help to tell someone about what’s happening, he’s kept it mostly to himself. Sure, some of his friends have been able to pick up on the bags under his eyes that even his werewolf healing can’t erase. And yes, some of them have commented on how off he’s been recently. But he hasn’t explained the full extent of his insomnia to anyone. Not even to his therapist, which he knows he should. He just doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want them to think things are bad with him again.

It helps that the majority of the pack is still away at college so they aren’t constantly around badgering him about getting some sleep. And those that did stay in Beacon Hills give Derek his space by not bringing it up. Even Erica pinches her lips together and remains silent. The worry in her eyes is evident, but Derek appreciates that she’s trying.

When the kettle begins whistling, it takes Derek a few seconds to register the sound. Pouring the hot water in his tea pot, he carries the whole thing into the living room and settles it on the coffee table. Relaxing into his favorite recliner, Derek tips his head back, and closes his eyes while waiting for the tea to seep.

He gets two and a half hours of sleep that night

———-

“Derek.” Boyd’s expression, usually calm and comforting, is full of concern as he stares at his alpha from across the table. Their usual waiter, Eli, is standing at the table, looking equally concerned. Derek didn’t even notice that he had come to take their orders. “Just bring him the usual,” Boyd tells Eli, not taking his eyes off of Derek’s hunched form. The human boy pauses a moment longer, before nodding and scurrying away.

As soon as he’s gone, Boyd pounces. “Derek, this has gone too far. Erica has been pleading with me to bring it up to you for weeks, and she’s been worried about it for longer than that. I thought you just needed some space to work whatever it is out. But this is too much. You need some sleep. You need to talk to someone about what’s going on.”

Pinching his eyes together, Derek leans his head against the back of the booth. He doesn’t have the right words to explain it to Boyd, doesn’t know how to articulate the void he’s feeling that makes sleeping impossible. All he can say is, “I don’t know what’s happening, Boyd.” His beta makes a disbelieving noise, so Derek barrels on. “I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a few hours for months, and I don’t know why. Nothing that I’ve tried has helped. All I know is that I can’t-. No matter what I’ve done, nothing makes it any easier.”

The truth of his words makes Boyd deflate. Neither of them really know what to say to that. Finally, trying make light of something neither of them understands, Derek jokes, “I��m surprised Erica didn’t pounce on me herself. It’s not like her to send someone else to do her bidding.”

Boyd laughs. “I wouldn’t let her do it,” he explains, sipping at his drink. “I didn’t think that having her talk to you would help at all.”

Derek appreciates it. And from the fond smile Boyd shoots him, Derek knows that he understands. Unfortunately, understanding doesn’t change anything at all.

————

Four nights later, Derek is still awake. It’s not much of a surprise; at this point he’s used to it.

What he isn’t used to though, is having Isaac walk through the front door at 1:40 in the morning. His eyes look a little blurry, and when Derek asks what he’s doing, all he gets is a grumble in response.

Everything gets more confusing when Erica and Boyd stroll into the house after him with an armful of blankets. Before he can ask what they’re up to, Erica grabs ahold of his wrist and tugs him over to where Boyd is setting the blankets in piles on the living room floor.

“What’s going on?” Derek wonders if he’s reached the point where he’s started to hallucinate.

“We thought maybe having the pack around would make it easier for you to relax,” Erica explains as she pulls him to the floor. Isaac has already flopped facedown onto the blankets, but he rolls his body closer to them after they’re settled down. Boyd joins them, curling his body around Erica’s and patting at Derek’s arm.

Having the betas so close is nice. Isaac falls asleep first, which isn’t a surprise. Boyd is next, his heartbeat trailing off into a soft putter. Erica watches Derek with eyes half-closed and tries to stay awake with him. But having her packmates so close makes staying awake impossible for her.

Derek smiles at them all, thankful for what they’re doing even though it doesn’t work.

When Erica gets up in the morning and Derek is still awake, her scent turns sour with sadness and disappointment. Opening his arms, Derek allows her to tuck her body against his. Isaac rolls closer, burying his face in Derek’s side. Boyd’s legs twine together with his as he throws an arm over Erica’s waist. And it’s nice. But it’s not enough.

———

(read the rest on AO3)

#eternalstereksecretsanta17 #esss17 #sterek #fic #submission

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namjoonchronicles · 7 years

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OCD - [MonstaX] Boyfie!Kihyun Au

[A/N] Oh well. A triggering one-shot below. There’s a lot of OCDs in the world, I have a very mild one, that went away during my teens. But now I seem to have anxiety. So, I wrote from my experience and filtered a lot.

You stole another cookie from the jar, earning yourself a playful slap from your mother. “Stop, stop eating. Stop eating the things I made for the guests.” She repeatedly scolded you, pinching your arm being a typical Asian mother.

“It’s going to be eaten anyways… why do you make such a big fuss about it.” You whined and pouted at the end. You saw her washing the dish she too out from the above cabinet and sighed, “What if the uncle’s son shows an interest on me. What do we do then.” You dropped your eyes to your fingers, drawing a meaningless circles on the wooden counter of your mom’s kitchen.

“Then tell your that boyfriend to be quick on his feet if he doesn’t want to lose you. When is he coming, anyways?” Your mom asked. “Did you break ip without telling me?” You rolled your eyes, you took out your phone and stared at the lockscreen for a second. It was Kihyun's picture, ogling openly at you. You took it right in the moment, so his eyes are shrunk, his smile is wide and overall, cuteness. You dragged your finger across the screen to unlock it. “There’s a slight. Problem.”

“What do you mean by that. The boy looks wonderful. Is he one of those that has many girls under his belt? I knew he looked too attractive.” Your mom started nagging. “Now what you mean by that. I haven’t even told you what the problem is, and here you are accusing him things he never do.” You protested. “Okay, tell me what the real problem is?” Your mom placed the dish on the rack to dry before turning to face you.

“He cleans. Too much.” You confessed.

Kihyun has OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And he has mild anxiety too. You saw him awake at the wee hours, cleaning extensively on the bathroom sink, scrubbing. The amount of focus he invested in it was vast. He took 40 minutes, even up to an hour. It had him sleep deprived. He washes his hands, numerous times. Arranges floor mats. Arranges shoes according to colors. Arranges books according to heights. Position of the picture frames. Even the eggs on the egg racks.

“Meticulously.” You said. You set your phone down and sighed. “It’s been worrying me. Like how can I live with such detailed and...” you can’t even bring yourself to say it. It was unfair.

You were taken aback when your mother gave you a light giggle. “You must have forgotten…” you glanced up at her. What does she mean by that. You drove home to see Kihyun curled on the couch in his hoodie, swallowing him as a whole. His black track pants rode up his ankles a little, and you rubbed your hand on the hoodie covering the half of his face. Kneeling next to him, you purred, “I’m home my muffin.” You whispered softly to him and brushed your lips on his cheekbone while he hummed in reply.

He fluttered his eyes open and wrapped his arm around your neck, burying his face in your neck. “What took you so long…” he mewled quietly, and rubbed the back of his hair gently. What a puppy. “How did the therapy go?” You knew it was going to ruin the mood but you couldn’t miss a chance when you knew it was coming. Kihyun exhaled and lay himself back on the couch. “I think there’s something wrong with me.” He said.

You smiled sweetly back at him. “The first step into any solution is to realise that there’s a problem.” You pushed his chin till it showed his bottom teeth, and pinched his chin, shaking it a little. “We’re going to be okay.” You said to him, reassuringly. Kihyun’s smile is back. His eyes crinkles and you were once again smitten. “We are going to be okay…” You repeated for the need of it. You hugged him, reassuring him. At times, you would feel that you weren’t enough for him. Like, you’re always lacking somewhere. You couldn’t much as much as he provided you and it’s devastating. You would stare to his back, wondering what else you could have done to make this world better for him. There is so many times you caught yourself in a fight with him, him yelling at you, crying, fists on the walls, him cowering to the floor, bawling his eyes out as he was frightened of the things that hasn’t happen.

Things, he insists will happen. Things he doesn’t want to happen.

“I’m the problem here!” He would roar into your face. You would look at him, shaking your heads with your eyes wide open, telling him no, through your gaze, knowing that he wouldn’t listen to your words. He would throw himself, backed against the walls, sliding to the ground, digging the heels of his palm into his eyes, feeling desperate, feeling empty, trying to find the meaning of ‘going on’. “I’m the. Problem here.” He cried. He hiccups in his own breathe, “...you will leave me. You will leave me. I know you will, I know. I can see it in your face. Because I’m a failure. I’m sick. I’m unwell. I’m broken. You can’t fix me.” Kihyun continued to whimper, hugging his knees. He repulsed at every approach you make.

“I would never…” You started, kneeling from the distant. “No! Don’t give me promises!” He roared. “Kihyun.” You whispered, and he started to bang his head hard against the wall. Repeatedly.

You quickly placed your arm in between his head and the wall, anything to stop him from hurting himself more. He fell asleep on the floor on your lap. “I finally feel something.” He whispered, brushing his lips on your thighs. It’s wet, from his tears and you were looking straight ahead, across the hallway. No emotions in your eyes, but the tears fall without permissions. They tend to do that a lot, now. Being with Kihyun is both pleasure and pain. “Is pain the only emotions you have?” You caught yourself back-talking to sleeping Kihyun. “Do you even realized what you’re doing when you cry, that you hurt me and put tears on my face? I hate you so much, but I hate the life without you, even more.” A teardrop slide down heavy on one side of your face.

I think we’re afraid of the same thing Kihyun. I’m afraid of losing you, just like you’re afraid of losing me. But unlike how you think you’d lose me, I’m losing you to an illness that’s too powerful for me to handle alone. I need you to be with me.

“Please stay with me.” You placed a kiss on his cheekbone as he lay asleep, soundly.

Fear is a funny thing, it consumes you and made a coward out of you. Kihyun walked in alone in the therapist’s room and you watched from the window, watching him smiling, laughing, eagerly telling the psychologist about his day. There’s been changes. Positive changes. Happy changes. Kihyun was a lot livelier and for the first time, he had made you feel like you’re dating. He narrows his focus to one thing at a time now, and he’s been talking to you about things that agitates him. And one day, he said something you had been wanting to hear.

“...I want you to meet my mother.” He hid half of his face behind the door at you, almost looking like a child.

“Does that mean what I think it means?” You bit your lips trying to stop yourself from smiling too wide. Kihyun dropped his gaze, grinning. He nodded. “I think we’re ready for the next step.”

#kihyun #monsta x #boyfie au #yookihyun #kihyun au #monsta x fics #mx #mx kihyun #kihyun fanfic #kihyun imagines #kihyun scenarios #fluff #drama #mature

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star-trekkin-across-theuniverse · 7 years

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Vital Signs, pt7

Vital Signs Masterlist

Word Count: 2344 Author’s Note: I’ve been fixing some grammar errors as I go. Wow. I made a lot of them. Tags: @to-pick-ourselves-up-7, @outside-the-government, @jimfromsales, @donnaintx

Running with Steve every morning had been good for me in more ways than one. It motivated me to get home at night instead of staying at the hospital to study, and ensured I actually took the run that relaxed me every day. I was more focused when I was at work or studying as a result, and started to feel less worried about my boards. Which was a good thing as they were bearing down on me with alarming speed. I was scheduled for my oral exam in just days.

I was getting ready to leave work, and was just cramming my books into my bag when the door to the locker room slammed open. I jumped, and my heart started to race. The rest of the residency cohort was coming in to knock off for the night as well.

“Lexy, are you sticking around for the all-nighter tonight? We are ordering pizza if we can get 40 questions right each in 30 minutes,” Erica tempted me. I shook my head, but Jamie jumped in to answer before I could.

“No, she’ll be going home. She has that guy she runs with every morning.” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes. Erica and Chan made that ‘woooo’ noise that little girls make when teasing each other about cooties and boys, and dissolved into giggles. I was actually kind of touched. I’d been making a bigger effort to be sociable with the other residents, and it was clearly paying off if they felt comfortable teasing me.

“Is he good in bed? He’s pretty hot. Even if he’s bad in bed, at least you can just look at him,” Erica asked. I choked. On nothing. I couldn’t even pass it off as choking on a drink because my hands were empty. I just choked. Jamie came running over to see if I needed the Heimlich, but he couldn’t help but laugh at me once he realized why it had happened. Pretty soon everyone except me was laughing. I was just trying to regain my composure and stop coughing.

“I don’t know,” I admitted when I got my voice back. The laughter stopped.

“You haven’t slept with him?” Jamie was incredulous. I shook my head.

“We work together,” I offered as explanation.

“Oh please, Chan and Jamie slept with each other all last year!” Erica exclaimed. Chan threw a textbook at Erica and Jamie thumped his head against his locker in embarrassment.

“Well, we haven’t.” I tried to shut down the conversation.

“But you’re into him!” Erica exclaimed. I pulled my coat out of the locker, “You must be into him, otherwise why would you be passing up pizza and board studying to go home so you can run in the morning?”

“Because it keeps me sane.” I shut my locker and headed home.

I shouldn’t have been so surprised that my nightmares started again. I had never slept well when I was under stress, but with boards looming, not even my morning runs were helping anymore. I tossed most of the night. So much so that I contemplated actually heading back to the hospital to study, and then thought better of it. It would probably stress me out more. And bumping my run to 3am was also not a particularly bright idea. By morning, I was dragging, and almost texted Steve to back out of running. He knocked on my door before I could find my phone though.

“You spend the night studying?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No, just didn’t sleep well.”

“You’re off now until after your boards, right?” He asked. I nodded. He stepped inside and shut the door. He opened my fridge, looked disgusted, closed it, took my hand and led me out of the apartment.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he started dragging me upstairs. I was barefoot, and still in my pajamas.

“Come on, I’m making you breakfast. You apparently don’t ever buy groceries.” He pushed me into his apartment and made me sit down on the couch. Before I could react, he had put a cup of coffee in my hand, and walked back into the kitchen. I found myself drawn to sit and watch him again. He was a pretty incredible cook, and watching him was like watching a show on the food network. In fact, he could probably get a show on the food network if he was willing to let everyone in the world know he was Captain America. Or if he cooked naked. He put a plate down in front of me, and handed me a fork. He stood opposite me, and dug into his breakfast. Bacon and eggs. It had been years since I’d allowed myself bacon and eggs. I didn’t need to be told twice. I devoured everything on my plate in moments.

“Thanks, Steve.”

“Go. Sit on the couch. We’re going to watch some terrible action movie and relax, then we’ll go for our run. You can get back to killing yourself with studying this afternoon. I’m loving this Netflix thing you set up, by the way.” He started washing dishes with his back to me.

“Dude. You have a dishwasher.” I didn’t really mind. I was admiring the view. There was something so humble and unselfconscious about Steve. I think he probably knew he was insanely hot, but he just didn’t seem to care. And that lack of awareness, coupled with his incredible shoulders and really nice backside made for an amazing package. Shit, Erica was right. I was really into him. That was going to be problematic.

“I don’t trust it. And it’s faster to just wash them. The one time I ran the thing the noise was incredible and it took an hour. I can wash up in about 20 minutes without all the racket.” The stack of dishes beside the sink was starting to stack up. I grabbed a dishtowel and started drying.

“I don’t know where anything goes. Do you want me to wash and you dry?” I offered.

“I want you to get back on the couch and relax. But I’ll accept you drying the dishes because I know you’re going to fight me about it.” He hip checked me lightly. I checked him back and obviously took him off guard, as he stumbled away from the sink.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Steve. I grew up in Canada. Hockey wasn’t my sport, but I know how to throw a check,” I teased. He laughed and shook his head. When he finished washing, he took the dishtowel from me to finish drying. I protested, but he wound up the towel and snapped me on the ass to get me out of the kitchen. I surrendered, but not before topping up my coffee cup.

“What are we watching, Steve? I’ll get us set up?” I asked from the couch.

“Pick something with lots of action, and not much plot,” he suggested. I turned on the TV and flipped to the action section on Netflix. That was about as far as I got before he jumped onto the couch beside me. I squeaked, clearly not expecting him to jump onto the couch from behind me. He laughed and put an arm around my shoulder. Turns out he just wanted to steal the remote from me, but he left his arm across my back, and I let him. Eventually, I relaxed enough that I leaned into his chest and got comfortable. He picked something that Stallone was in, that I hadn’t seen since I was a kid. It was a good choice, but I kept drifting to sleep. I would snap back awake every few minutes, but eventually, I just succumbed to my sleep deprivation and dozed off with Steve’s arm around me.

The smell of burning everything was everywhere. It was hard to describe, as it was a mix of burning wood, and gasoline, and human flesh. The air was thick with smoke, and my eyes were watering. I was making my way through the wreckage of the small New Mexico town, looking for survivors among the debris. It was madness. I shouldn’t have even been there, but I’d be doing a work-study rotation at a SHIELD mobile outpost to ensure I would fit with the ‘corporate culture’ once I finished my residency. And somehow managed to get into the path of an enormous fire-shooting robot alien from hell.

“Richmond, I have agents down on the roof of the Donutland. Go!” My earpiece chirped at me. I ran to the fire escape, threw my med kit on my back and started climbing. I was too late.

“These two are gone. You’ll need dental for ID,” I called back after a quick assessment. They were charred to the point of being unrecognizable. The smell was overwhelming, and suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d never smelled or seen anything like it. I just made it to the edge of the building before I puked. I rinsed my mouth and headed back down the fire escape to see to the people I could actually help. But there weren’t many. They were calling the thing the Destroyer over the comms. It was an apt name. Everything it had targeted was obliterated in fire and smoke.

I found another agent under a car that had been blown up. His arm was gone, his legs were crushed. I vomited again and started shaking. And screaming. It was more than I was ready or capable of handling, and it was far too soon.

“Lex, wake up! Wake up!” Steve was shaking me, and the most horrible screams I’d ever heard were coming from somewhere. I drew in a breath and it stopped. It was me. I put my hands over my ears and curled into a ball. Steve pulled me into his chest and rubbed my back.

“No. No. No,” I moaned. I couldn’t get the smell and taste out of my throat.

“What the hell, Lex?” Steve pushed me back so he could look at my face. I had never heard him use anything close to a curse word before. I took a gasping breath and started to cry. He smoothed my hair and pulled me close again, murmuring reassurances. I drifted back to sleep while still crying, secure in his tight embrace. When I woke, I was sprawled across his chest. His head was tilted back and he was snoring quietly. I put my hand on his chest to push myself off him. His hand covered mine and held me where I was.

“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere. What the hell happened, Lex?”

“I had a nightmare. It’s nothing,” I stiffened.

“You told me once I could talk to you and you wouldn’t say anything. I’m giving you the same courtesy. But if you don’t tell me what that was about, I will go to Fury.” He was stern. My eyes widened. He was serious. He was Captain Motherfucking America serious. I pushed myself into a sitting position and took a deep breath.

“A few months before they found you, there was an incident in New Mexico. This giant robot thing blew the hell out of a town. I was in a rotation with the mobile unit that was nearest, dealing with something we initially didn’t think was related. Anyhow, when the robot thing started blowing the fuck out of the town, the med team was sent in to deal with casualties. I had never been in the field. I’m not even a doctor yet. I wasn’t a nurse at the time. I was just a med student whose idea of trauma was broken bones and bullet wounds. I found three agents burned to a crisp by the thing. I didn’t think I was ever going to stop screaming.” I looked at my hands the whole time I spoke.

“You have shell shock. Lex, you should never have been in that situation, you’re a -“

“Steve, you can’t. You can’t make it go away because I am a girl. The world has changed so much since you crashed. Women are in combat situations all the time now. I just wasn’t prepared,” I interrupted.

“I knew a helluva lot of nurses in the war, and they were all women. It has nothing to do with a woman not being in a combat situation. I was going to say you were a med student, and shouldn’t have been out there without better training.”

“Oh. Uh, it’s called post-traumatic stress disorder now.”

“Sure. Steve’s not quite as backward and old-fashioned as you thought, is he?” He teased. I could tell he was hurt by my assumption though.

“I’m sorry,” I teared up again, and then flushed with anger. I had been fine for ages and suddenly the slightest stress and I was in crazytown again. Steve pulled me back into his arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. You are safe, and you are fine, and you will be ready next time.”

“I’m so sorry, I should have said something this morning.” I couldn’t stop the tears, but I was at least able to form words.

“What exactly would you have said? Oh, Steve, I slept poorly because I’m having nightmares, so even though I have no reason to share this immense trauma I’ve endured, I’m going to warn you that if I fall asleep on your couch, there’s a possibility I might wake up screaming? Alexandra, as far as my memory is working, it’s been about 6 months since I was fighting Hydra. I very keenly recall what shell shock looks like in soldiers, and it looks no different on you. You have nothing to apologize for.” Steve shook his head, “Now relax, and go back to sleep. You need rest. I am here.”

He gathered me back into his arms again, and rubbed my back rhythmically until I fell back to sleep. And stayed that way for the rest of the day, without another nightmare.

#avengers fanfic #Steve Rogers x OFC

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mxn-jeon · 7 years

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Brick*

Min Yoongi | college!au | fluff | 3.1k words

You know that your dorm is made of brick, but you’re pretty sure that brick is not supposed to let sound travel like this.

You’re having a terrible day and all you want to do is sleep.

*repost of my story prior to deleting my blog jan 2017

It’d been a long day.

It all started when you’d woken up a little bit late, having studied all night for an exam you had today. In your haste, you’d accidentally rushed off to class still in your sleep clothes: basketball shorts and an old band t-shirt. It was a brisk 40 out and you were intolerant of the cold, but there was nothing to be done about it now—the prof took attendance and you’d better be there at 8am—or else.

You sprinted out of your dorm, cursing the weather as you began to run the gauntlet through your classes. It was a Wednesday, and Wednesdays were the worst. You hadn’t originally organized your schedule this way, but the registration powers-that-be had wrecked you and no amount of begging with the registrar would save your sorry second-semester freshman ass.

You’d managed the first few weeks, but things were starting to get ridiculous. Wednesdays happened to have five classes: 3 lectures and 2 three-hour labs in straight succession, with no time for lunch. Class started at 8 and ended at 5. It was normally better because you could chow down granola bars between classes, but of course—you’d forgotten to put them in your bag as you ran out the door this morning.

Last semester, you’d been more than willing to skip classes, which had sort of sunk your GPA. You were in no such state to do so this time round: since you’d been unable to get into most of the big intro-level classes, you’d been forced to register for unknown professors and small class-sizes.

They all knew your name by now…and they weren’t afraid to use it.

Fortunately, first two classes went by without much event, but it wasn’t long before your body started protesting from neglect. Skipping breakfast was fine, but lunch was not. Halfway through your 11AM, your stomach began to grumble acutely.

You ignored its guttural protests even as you speedwalked to your first lab (although the sun was out now, it was only marginally warmer)…only to realize as you walked through the door that you hadn’t dressed according to lab standards: shorts were a big no.

Too late. The TA gave you a once-over and disapprovingly sent you back in the direction you’d came from. Reluctantly you speedwalked back to your dorm, threw on a pair of pants and a jacket and made a quick cup of instant coffee.

You chugged it as you walked back, scarfing down a granola bar and feeling like a slightly improved version of yourself. However, your mood quickly turned sour as you got back to lab and were pulled out by your TA, who none-to-gently informed you that you’d gotten points deducted off your lab score for being tardy and for not following lab safety protocol.

A cloud hung over you for the remainder of the lab, and your type-A lab partner was hardly enthusiastic with your missing prelab and general cluelessness. You asked questions, trying to keep up, but her answers had become shorter and less informative as time passed. Frustrated, you’d finally reached for a pair of tweezers as she’d snarked out: “I can do it myself, just don’t mess anything up and look like you’re doing something without doing something when the TA comes by!”

Chastised, you sat mutely in your seat for the remainder of the lab, trying not to make the metal parts squeak as you scuffed your shoes against the linoleum and copied your partner’s notes robotically.

The second lab fared no better: it was more talking than doing, which was good for you, but bad for your woozy brain. You found yourself dozing off on the edge of the lecture, and almost swayed off your seat several times.

The caffeine was obviously not working. You sleepily wondered why.

(Little did you know that on your desk, in fact, was the wrapper of a decaf pack. Half of your coffee supply was, actually—your mother had snuck those in, worried for your health).

You dragged yourself through the last lab of the day. Now, you had the big elephant to worry about: today was your first exam of the semester—unfortunately scheduled for 6-8pm, thanks to “departmental reasons”. You were sure the university was conspiring against you, but you managed your first real meal of the day before dashing off to the testing location on the other side of campus.

By this point, you were sleep-deprived and brain-dead, having had to study most of the night before. Unfortunately, you became the most sluggish at the onset of the two-hour exam, and found yourself struggling to stay awake. You begged your brain to stay on, but it refused to jump through any of the hoops the problems presented, and with a heavy heart and hand you scrawled some work onto the pages and turned it in as time was called.

Just as you were dragging your miserable self out of the lecture hall, you checked your messages, and you’d gotten a slew of texts from the choreographer of the kpop dance team you were on, thirty minutes ago.

“Y/N, can you come to the rec center? We’re practicing formations right now and you need to be here. The performance is literally this Saturday and I can’t let you perform if you’re not at this critical practice.”

“Shit,” you curse as you tap out a reply, suddenly wide awake. I just got through 9 hours of class and a 2 hour exam, can I please just not come? I promise I’ll make it up, please??

The response is quicker than you expect. We’re filming the preliminary video at the end of practice today, and the organizers want the lineup and everything as it’s supposed to be for the event by midnight tonight. If you don’t show, you don’t go.

A few seconds later: I’m really sorry, but an entire semester’s worth of practice is going to be for nothing if you can’t make it today.

Gritting your teeth, you reply. Fine. Be there in 10.

Two and a half hours of dance practice and some walking time later, a quivering hand unlocks your dorm room and body weakly crumples onto the floor in the dark.

Your roommate has been fast asleep for some time, judging by her snores. You’re ready to pass out like a week ago, sweat and death-feelings and all, but you’re convinced you should really shower. So into the shower you go and out you come, still exhausted but at least smelling nice.

Throwing yourself into bed, you close your eyes, ready to sleep. Your consciousness dims quickly and you sluggishly note that this must be where the term ‘out like a light’ comes from.

It’d been a long day.

“Ah…AHH…ahhh…” From somewhere closer than you expected, you hear distinctively feminine moans.

You’re on the cusp of sleep. You don’t take much note of it until it repeats itself again a few seconds later, this time a little louder and more persistent.

Fuck, I just hope that’s someone who stubbed their toe.

Another set of ‘ah’s and your mind fabricates a short list of possibilities, ruling through all but one as some loud bed-banging noises add to the mix.

You know that your dorm is made of brick, but you’re pretty sure that brick is not supposed to let sound travel like this.

You close your eyes and pray that they’ll disappear. Unfortunately, this only serves to make the mysterious girl’s moans more insistent.

“What the hell? Can’t they go fuck somewhere else?” You spit into the dark, pulling the sheets up over your head and realizing they muffle nothing.

Also, the girl’s voice is sounding awfully familiar.

You try to remember who it is exactly that lives next door to you, and your eyes widen as memories slide into place.

“Fuck, that’s my freshman advisor next door…ugh, EW, fuck no just stop alsdkjfhlakwejfh”

You’re embarrassed that her sex noises are now part of your head’s repertoire of “heard noises”, but you were too embarrassed to go over and tell her to stop, much less bang on the wall. She’s not even someone you like that much, but you like her even less now for cutting into your much-needed sleep time.

You can’t help but notice that her moans are the same pitch. Damn, that guy must be some boring shaft work that guy’s giving her if she can’t even do more than make the same noise like a parrot, you think, gaining a small bit of satisfaction from the idea.

Despite your exhaustion, you try to think rationally, and decide to throw your noise-canceling headphones on and try to sleep.

You quickly discover they apparently are not animal-noise canceling, and the grunting and moans from next door can still be heard, albeit a bit muted.

You tolerate another 20 minutes of it by watching Weekly Idol before you want to start screaming bloody murder. Collecting yourself, you open the door to your room, let yourself out into the hall and stand there, listening. There’s no noise. You begin wondering whether it would be sensible to sleep out in the hall, no matter how ratchet it would be, since the doors seem to block the noise better than the walls did. No one really ever came down to your part of the hall, anyway—there were only four doors at this end, and one of them was fire exit.

By this point, you’re desperate enough to do anything, and you turn around to go back into your room—only to realize as you try the door handle that you left your keys and your phone inside the room.

Fuck. fuckfuckfuckufkuckukf

At this point, you’re borderline hysterical. You’ve had like 2 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours and too many classes and not enough food and just too much shit and you’ve seriously just had it.

Your brain insipidly cards through options. Your roommate sleeps like a rock so she’d never wake up, even if you threw a grenade at the door. The RA on your floor was probably out pregaming for Thursday (which was pregaming for Friday, according to him). The only people that would have spare keys would be the janitorial staff and the dorm staff, neither of which were around at this hour. To top it all off, you still have the sex soundtrack of your (now) most hated advisor stuck in your head.

And you? You just want to fucking sleep.

Curling up into a ball outside of your room, you think that you fit the definition of ‘annoyed to tears’ to a T. You wonder if sleeping in a manger with some hay and barn animals would be better. Barn animals would be better than the two next door. After all, baby Jesus slept in heavenly peace.

More thoughts run through your head, and in your emotional state, you hardly register the creak of a door opening until you hear insistent banging against a door and an angry, lazy drawl call out.

“What the actual FUCK! Are you broadcasting this shit? Shut up already! Neither of you are good at fucking so just go the fuck to sleep like normal people so that us normal people can sleep!”

At this, you look up, surprised. A boy in a black hoodie, basketball shorts and flip flops stands facing the door with a look of irritation spread across his features. Your vision blurs as several tears slip out, unbeckoned, and you swipe them away with your shirt sleeve.

“They keeping you up too? Can’t sleep either?” the boy asks sympathetically, voice softer and more gentle, turning to face you.

You blank. Your next coherent thought: Wow. Is that the boy that lives in the room next to my advisor?

Despite towering over you and your face being a good length away from his face, you can tell that this boy is very good-looking, if a bit pale. You remember the namecard on his door from passing it countless times: Min Yoongi.

Has this gem been living one door down this entire time? you think to yourself, flushing a little.

“Yeah,” you reply simply, closing your eyes and lowering your head, hoping he wouldn’t look too closely at you. You’re a mess of nerves and desperate sleepiness, how embarrassing.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, and suddenly a warm hand is on your back and he’s sitting down next to you with a soft exhale, oof.

He’s warm, you think happily.

“I just want to sleep,” you mumble, your voice muffled through your hair.

Yoongi smiles a little at that. He does, too, but the sight of you, a girl he barely even knows, huddled up out in the hall for the same reason he came out to yell at the people next door, made him feel as though he might be a little bit more in control of his life at the moment.

“Hey, I’m sure they’ll stop now that I’ve yelled at them.” He pauses. Faintly, the two of you hear muted yelling from within the room. You lift up your head and give him a wide-eyed look.

He put his ear to the door for a few seconds, then yelled, “She was definitely faking it! No one moans like that during orgasm!”

You start giggling at the absurdity of it all—you had the same thought earlier, but he shushes you with an evil grin. “You should get back in your room and go to sleep before they come out and see us here,” he says.

Your face falls as you remember. “I’m locked out, I left my keys inside when I came out here,”

“Mmm…no one with keys will be around until tomorrow morning either, huh. Well, you can sleep in my room, on my bed,” he offers. “I think it’s better than if you sleep out in the hall. I’d feel better, at least.”

You’re hesitant at first, but the idea of sleep soon overwhelms any misgivings, and has you unsteadily clutching onto his hoody with agreement as you enter his room.

You gasp. His room looks like a studio: keyboard, stereo speakers, wires laptop and a glowing array of equipment and soundboards grace the expanse of the desk, with a heavily scribbled-in notebook spotlighted in the middle of the fray. One bed is lofted over the setup, the other on the far wall and a rug spread out in between with a few cozy chairs.

“Wow, this is so…wow,” you say dumbly.

He laughs at your reaction, eyes crinkling. “Thanks,”

“Also, you’re into music? That’s cool!” you chirp excitedly, captivated by the buttons, dials and lights of the various consoles.

“Yeah, my roommate Namjoon and I share this deck since we’re both into the same sort of stuff,” He rubs his neck sheepishly. “Speaking of which, he’s staying out all night so you can sleep in my bed, and I’ll sleep in his.”

“Are you sure?” you ask hesitantly.

He doesn’t even bother to respond, hoisting you up the ladder. Your cheeks flush at the contact of his hands grasped around your waist. “Positive. I’m going to do a bit more work before I go to sleep.”

You hum in response as you clamber up the ladder. A bed has never looked so inviting. You tiredly crawl in and pull the blankets up over you, noting in the back of your mind that the bed smells distinctly not like teenage boy and distinctly like Yoongi. It’s nice. You settle in with a satisfied sigh.

Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, you think of something. “I don’t think I ever told you my name?” you say, or you think you say, before your light goes out and your breathing deepens into the pattern of sleep.

From under the bed, Yoongi hears it. “It’s Y/N,” he says softly. “Y/N.”

Namjoon gets back around 2AM, ushering himself in with a slammed door.

“Oh good, you’re still awake--” he manages to get out before Yoongi shushes him, looking up from his notebook.

“Shh, someone’s sleeping.”

Namjoon laughed, voice still as loud as ever. “That’s a good one. What the hell are you talking about man? If you’re not sleeping then who could be?”

“Joon, keep it down. It’s a friend. She was locked out of her room and she’s super tired so I just let her sleep here.”

The younger one quirked an eyebrow. “A girl? I’m surprised at you, hyung. Where are you going to sleep, then, if she’s in your bed? There’s not enough space for two, unless you’re holding onto her real tight so that she doesn’t fall off…” His eyebrows wagged up and down as he gave Yoongi a look.

The elder shook his head furiously. “Ya, I wouldn’t dream of it, you pervert! I’ll just sleep on the beanbag or the floor or something.”

“Ok, if you say so.,” Namjoon replied, shaking his head with a smile. “Also, didn’t you say you were going to sleep like 4 hours ago, also? What happened to that?”

Yoongi flushed. “Well, I started working on another project,”

“Sure, sure you weren’t just looking at this girl and taking pictures of her while she’s asleep.”

“YA! KIM NAMJOON!”

Namjoon put a finger to his lips as he smiled cheekily. “Hey, hey, quiet down! Your friend’s sleeping.”

Grumbling, Yoongi mumbled curses under his breath as Namjoon stripped down to his boxers.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Yoongi asked from the chair, his voice a little sharp as the other man put his foot on the first rung.

“What I normally do before I go to sleep?” Namjoon replied back questioningly. “What, what’s wrong?”

Yoongi gritted his teeth. “Can you at least put on a shirt and some pants to sleep? There’s a girl in the room.”

“Whoa, hyung, she’s asleep! It’s not like she can’t see anything.”

“What if she wakes up and sees you? Wouldn’t it make her uncomfortable? Just, just, do it. Please.”

The two boys made eye contact in the dim room. A short staring contest later (which Yoongi won), Namjoon removed his foot from the ladder with a sigh. “Fine, I’ll do it for you hyung. I can’t sleep like this but just because you asked, I’ll do it.”

“Thanks, Joon,” Yoongi replied, feeling more relieved.

Namjoon pulled out a tee and some shorts from his closet and put them on. Stretching out his arms, he turned to the elder. “There. Happy?”

“Yes.”

Grumbling, he ascended the ladder and fell into his bed eagerly. Once he’d finished rustling the sheets, he closed his eyes, ready for sleep to claim him at last---

“Hey, do you think there’s room up there for one more?” Yoongi joked.

He was pegged in the head with a pillow. “Shut up, hyung.”

It’d been a long day. But, the morning would find Yoongi sprawled out in the beanbag with the notebook on his lap, lyrics scrawled all over the page about a locked-out girl who’d just become his latest muse.

note: yes this is my story. still unedited. rip my first fic

#min yoongi #suga #suga scenarios #min yoongi fics #min yoongi scenarios #bangtan fics #suga fluff #min yoongi fluff #bts fics #bangtan boys #i forgot how much i loathe tagging #kim namjoon #rap monster

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voguewoozi · 7 years

Note

College au? I'll let your creativity run free from there ;D (also what the heck, I'm planning on my major/minor to be English too?)

College Freshmen Are Loud

Read it on ao3! & send in a prompt!

Summary: The noise in Dan’s dorm hall is cutting into his sleep. Phil provides a solution

Word Count: 1.9k

Notes: thank u, ryanne. I love college aus :(( (we should talk majors)

Dan wakes up to the sound of a chair hitting a wall at 2:47 am, and he’s fine until he hears giggles that eventually grow louder. This is the fourth time this week that people on his floor have come back drunk, and honestly, it was annoying the first time. Now it’s cutting into his sleep and he has early morning classes that he wants to be conscious for. He breathes out exasperatedly and clenches his bed sheets for a second before rolling onto his side and covering his ears with his pillow. It’s pretty effective, but he has to hold it in place and his arms start cramping after a minute and a half. He doesn’t sleep for the rest of the night.—“Are you alright? You look terrible,” is the first thing Dan hears when he enters his 7:40 lecture. If it were anyone but Phil, he’d say it put him in an even worse mood. He manages a smile, despite his brain feeling ten times slower than usual, and slumps down into the chair beside Phil.“Thanks. I got no sleep last night because the assholes on my floor think it’s funny to be extremely loud during all hours of the fucking night,” Dan says, sighing a bit melodramatically. He can’t help it. It sucks and there’s nothing he can do. He’s already tried moving, but there’s no empty singles, and he doesn’t want to even briefly entertain the thought of moving in with someone else. He gets it, he totally does. The idea of having a roommate is exciting for a lot of people; it’s just not for him. At all. He’s having a difficult enough time dealing with having people rooms away from him.“What do they do? Is it really that bad?” Phil asks. He’s smirking but Dan literally doesn’t have enough energy to roll his eyes.“I’m pretty sure one of them broke a window last night,” Phil laughs at that, and the sound makes him smile for the first time that morning. He kinda hates the effect Phil has on him, but he usually just elects to ignore it. There’s no chance Phil likes him. And he’s graduating this year. Surely the age difference would be weird. Does Phil even like guys?He’s broken out of his thoughts by a nudge to his side and he jumps slightly, remembering where he is.“You might wanna start taking notes,” Phil whispers, lines of words already covering his page. Dan can’t stop himself from blushing, but Phil’s attention is back on the professor.Dan sits there for an hour and fifteen minutes, sporadically taking notes and daydreaming before he finally gets to pack up his stuff. He’s thinking about grabbing something to eat before his next class, when a hand comes down on his shoulder.“Hey, if your hall is too loud again tonight, you’re always welcome to stay in my room. My roommate’s never around.” Dan is taken aback by Phil’s offer; for a second he thinks his sleep-deprived brain made it up. He’s silent and slack-jawed for a few seconds too long, and Phil’s face begins to look unsure.“You don’t have to or anything, I was just-”“No, I want to!” Dan says quickly, awkwardly grabbing Phil’s wrist in the process. They both look down and Dan lets go immediately, bringing his hand to the back of his own neck.“I mean, yeah, if I can’t sleep, right, I’ll do that,” he does a vague finger gun motion and hates himself.“Okay, so I’ll see you later, maybe?” Phil asks, and his smile is back but Dan’s heart is still beating a mile a minute.“Yeah, I’ll text you,” Dan sounds breathless and that’s because he is, he just hopes Phil doesn’t notice. He wouldn’t point it out if he did.“Cool,” it’s the last thing Phil says before he turns with a small wave and walks in the opposite direction Dan’s going. Dan feels like his skin is burning off, but he can’t stop smiling.— He listens closely. It’s a little after 11, and for once he can’t hear anyone screaming, and he thinks that it’s probably because the world hates him. The cutest guy Dan’s ever seen in his life invites him to his room and for the first time since he moved in, these assholes are what? Asleep at a decent hour? He rolls over in his bed, and closes his eyes for exactly six seconds before he makes his decision. He stands up and packs a set of clothes, and the books he needs for class tomorrow, and steps outside into the cold air. For as much determination that he had on the walk to Phil’s dorm, when he’s actually outside his door, he hesitates. He brings his hand up to knock a few times, even thinking about going back to his room and just going to sleep because it’s getting late and he needs a few hours, at least. He finally does it, three quick taps and his heart rate accelerates as he waits for it to open. “Hey,” Phil says, calmly, stepping out of the doorway and gesturing for Dan to enter. Dan has only been in Phil’s room once for a minute, so he’s never had the opportunity to really look around. His eyes roam over the insignificant details, and he doesn’t realize Phil’s talking to him until he’s halfway through his sentence. “-never around, like I said. So, that’s a plus, I guess,” Dan blinks, but when he doesn’t respond, Phil turns to face him. “Uh, sorry, I wasn’t listening,” Dan says, stuttering and blushing. He should probably just lie down and try to forget any of this happening. “It’s so quiet here,” he says instead, putting his backpack down and attempting to relax. He has nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine. “This must be a completely new experience for you. How’s it feel?” Phil asks. It seems like it doesn’t matter what Phil does, Dan finds himself completely enamored, which is putting him at a slight disadvantage. He doesn’t think that’s really fair. “It’s… weird. I think it’s almost too quiet.” Dan had gotten so used the ambient noise of talking and laughing that the quiet was a bit confounding. “Well that won’t be a problem for long. I’ve been told that I talk in my sleep.” Dan’s eyes widen at the admission and Phil continues, “Not that I would know for sure. It’s not like I’m there when it happens.” Dan laughs, and he has to stop doing that, it wasn’t that funny. But Phil smiles, and Dan forgets his impulses all at once. “Speaking of sleep, you probably want to do that now. That’s why you’re here.” Phil’s cheeks go pink for a change, and for a moment, Dan thinks it’s refreshing, but then he’s smiling. He can’t seem to catch a break. “So… what are the…” Dan searches for an appropriate term, but the best he can come up with in under three seconds is “sleeping arrangements”. He hadn’t thought about the implications of the night before going over, and what did he think would happen? Phil only has one bed. Mathematically, only one thing works. “Sleeping on the floor is no big deal to me, really. It’s fine,” Dan fills in quickly before Phil can get a word. “What? No, I invited you over so you could finally get a good night’s sleep. I’m not gonna make you sleep on the floor,” Phil says, strongly, not leaving any room for argument. “Well, it’s your room, so I can’t make you sleep on the floor,” Dan counters. As the last word falls off of his tongue, he understands what he said, what it could be construed to mean. “Are you suggesting that we share the bed?” Despite his earlier embarrassment and uncertainty, Phil says this with a hint of a smirk on his lips. Dan wants to stop existing, but he also really wants to sleep in the same tiny twin-sized bed as Phil Lester. He’s almost certain that he’s never wanted anything more in his life. “I mean… what I meant to say was, I wouldn’t have a problem with it seeing as we both just want to sleep, and you know, back support is an important thing. Can’t get that from the floor…” Dan feels more self-conscious with every passing second as Phil’s smug grin reaches more parts of his face. Like his eyes. “Yeah, I agree. Should we go to sleep then?” Without waiting for a reply, Phil hops into his bed and pats the space next to him. It’s not a very big space, and that makes Dan simultaneously excited and terrified. How were they supposed to negotiate this? There weren’t very many comfortable positions they could find this way. After a moment of fidgeting limbs and rustling bed sheets, Phil’s arm comes to rest around Dan’s waist. His fingers trace a small pattern, and then he tenses. “Is this okay? It’s the only comfortable place for my arm.” Dan smiles at the concern in Phil’s voice but his heart beat is erratic, and he’s worried Phil can feel it. “Yeah, it’s fine,” Dan manages, nearly choking on the first syllable. He can’t believe this is actually happening. “Goodnight, Dan.” “Yeah, goodnight…”— When Dan’s alarm goes off in the morning, he attempts to turn over but is stopped. His eyes shoot open and he remembers that he’s not in his room. Phil’s arm is still draped over him, slightly tighter now that he’s tried to move. He wonders how to go about this without it being too awkward, grabbing Phil’s hand and attempting to move him carefully so he doesn’t wake up. But then Phil’s hand squeezes and he breathes in, stretches and freezes. His grip loosens and his breathing stops for a moment. Maybe he doesn’t know Dan is awake yet. He can play it off like he’s just waking up now. He’s a pretty good actor, he could pull it off. “You’re gonna be late to class,” Phil says. His sleep-muddled voice startles Dan, and Phil definitely knows he’s awake now. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t if you let go of me.” Dan has no idea what made him so bold all of a sudden, but he bites his tongue and holds his breath, waiting for a response. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Phil says, moving his arm back to his side. Dan feels relieved and disappointed all at once, but he sits up anyway. He’s about to get up to change and then leave when Phil grabs his hand again. He looks back at Phil and his messy hair and his perfect lips. “You should come back when your class is over. We could get lunch or something.” Dan smiles softly and Phil’ thumb traces nervous circles onto the back of his hand. “Yeah, sure, that’d be great,” Dan can’t stop his smile from growing and he probably looks stupid, but he doesn’t care. “I’ll see you later then,” Phil says, bringing Dan’s hand to his lips for a brief second and then letting him go. Dan never sleeps in his own bed again.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #college au #phan college au #my fics #I finally did one ive been so busy :((#answered

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hallcolt2-blog · 5 years

Text

Exactly why you keep waking up in the middle of the night, according to doctors

© Tetra Images - Getty Images Doctors explain the possible reasons you're waking up in the middle of the night, from having to pee to serious health conditions. Plus, the science-backed solutions that can help you fall (and stay) asleep. It’s 2 a.m. and you’re wide awake. Again. What’s the deal?

First, understand that waking up in the middle of the night is completely normal and part of our human DNA, says Jose Colon, MD, founder of Paradise Sleep and author of The Sleep Diet. “Nobody sleeps through the night,” Dr. Colon says. In fact, he says even 4 to 6 nocturnal awakenings are considered normal. “This goes back to our caveman days where one would wake up, scan the environment, make sure there are no tigers, and then go back to sleep,” he says.

That last part is key: You should be able to go back to sleep. If you can’t, one of the following sleep stealers may be standing between you and a good night’s rest. Here’s why you keep waking up in the middle of the night, and exactly how to start snoozing peacefully again.

Sleep stealer: having to pee

Nocturia (nighttime urination) has many triggers. But if you find yourself waking up two to four times a night to pee even when you limit your evening drinking, your balance of water and electrolytes may be off, says Jonathan Steele, RN, executive director of WaterCures.org. If you consume too much water without enough salt, your body may try to jettison some H20, which may explain why you’re waking up in the middle of the night to pee.

Sleep solution: About 30 minutes before going to sleep, drink a small glass of water with a pinch of unprocessed sea salt, Steele suggests. “Unprocessed salt helps the water to get into all of our cells,” he says. You need to take the salt with H20 to ensure your body retains both, he adds.

Sleep stealer: a hot room

According to the National Sleep Foundation (NSF), feeling hot can make it hard to stay (and fall) asleep. “The temperature of the room, what you wear or don’t wear to bed, the sheets and blankets-all figure in to keeping your body at the right temperature,” says Marc Leavey, MD, a primary care specialist with Mercy Medical Center in Baltimore.

Sleep solution: People can sleep comfortably at a range of temperatures. But a room temp between 60 and 65°F is ideal for most, the NSF reports. Also, try a bath before bed, Dr. Leavey suggests. “Taking a warm bath raises your temperature in the tub slightly, while exiting the tub triggers a slight drop in temperature-a signal that your brain associates with sleep,” he explains.

Sleep stealer: mild depression

© Harry Campbell waking up at night depression Just as people with major depression can have trouble falling or staying asleep, so too can the 17 percent of women who have a low-grade form of the illness. But because their depression symptoms-which include negative thoughts, excessive worry, lack of energy, and body aches-aren’t as severe, women with mild depression are less likely to be diagnosed with sleep issues.

“There’s a complex relationship between sleep and mild depression, and it can be difficult to determine which came first,” says Aarti Gupta, PsyD, founder and clinical director of TherapyNest, a private psychology practice in Palo Alto, CA. It’s a vicious circle, she says: Depression symptoms set up poor sleep habits that can cause you to stay up or wake up in the middle of the night. “And without a good night’s rest, it’s difficult to function at your highest capacity the following day-which manifests as feeling tired, sad, and mildly depressed and sets up the cycle for lack of sleep for the next day.”

Sleep solution: Because the symptoms of mild depression can be similar to those many women experience during menopause, it’s important to discuss your mental health history with your primary care doctor or a psychologist to determine whether your depressive symptoms existed prior to menopause or if the hormonal changes triggered or exacerbated them. Your physician will design a treatment plan that includes talk therapy, lifestyle changes, medication, or all three.

Sleep stealer: your late-night Instagram addiction

If your bedtime routine involves scrolling through Twitter and Instagram, your updates may be messing with your sleep. “Exposing eyes to light during the evening stops the body from making melatonin, the sleep hormone,” explains Richard L. Hansler, PhD, of the Lighting Innovations Institute at John Carroll University in Ohio. From tablet screens to smartphones, electronic devices are light sources people tend to hold close to their faces, which may make them potent sleep disrupters.

Sleep solution: Dim your room lights and aim to make your last hour before bed screen-less. Too hard? Research suggests the blue light emitted from smart phones is the most problematic. Dimming your phone or tablet’s light, and holding it at least a foot or two from your face, makes it less likely to mess with your slumber.

Sleep stealer: getting older

Everyone has a biological clock that determines when they get tired at night and when their body wakes up in the morning. But starting around age 40, your clock begins to shift. Researchers aren’t sure exactly why this happens, but the result is that your body will naturally wake up increasingly earlier, decreasing the amount of sleep you’re getting, explains Hans Van Dongen, PhD, director of the Sleep and Performance Research Center at Washington State University. By the time you hit your 60s, you could be waking up 2 hours earlier than you did in your 30s.

Sleep solution: Move up your bedtime to accommodate your body’s new sleep schedule. If you’re worried that you’ll lie awake because you’re going to bed earlier than you’re used to, Van Dongen offers reassurance. “You’re probably naturally getting tired earlier, but it’s easy to ignore or not notice the sleepiness if you’re used to staying up late,” he says. “Most older people find that when they start getting into bed earlier, they fall asleep easily.”

Sleep stealer: drinking alcohol before bed

While that second cocktail may make you sleepy, it can also disrupt your restful night’s sleep. “Alcohol has a sedative effect that, if you drink enough, can put you to sleep quite easily,” Dr. Leavey says. “Over the first few hours, you metabolize that alcohol, with the alcohol producing a form of sleep that can prevent the healthy rapid eye movement sleep that is most restful.” This lack of REM sleep will make the second half of your night restless and fragmented.

Sleep solution: The best cocktail to drink before bed? It doesn’t exist, Dr. Leavey says. “If you are going to drink, you may not be able to sleep,” he adds. (There’s a reason “happy hour” is early in the evening.) Take it easy on the booze and quit drinking a few hours before you go to bed, and you’ll give your body time to metabolize the alcohol before you try to sleep.

Sleep stealer: breathing problems

© Harry Campbell waking up at night breathing problems When you have a stuffy nose-whether from seasonal allergies or a cold-you’re likely to toss and turn at night because you’re struggling to breathe. But other factors can narrow your airway permanently, such as a deviated septum, nasal polyps, large tonsils, or an overly large tongue. And these conditions can increase sleep disturbances: When researchers at the Sleep and Human Health Institute in Albuquerque, NM, studied 20 people with chronic insomnia, they found that 90 percent of the participants’ middle-of-the-night wakings were linked to breathing issues.

Sleep solution: It won’t treat the underlying issue, but lying on your side may help you sleep better-breathing problems tend to worsen when you sleep on your back, says Steven Y. Park, MD, an assistant professor of otorhinolaryngology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. If this doesn’t help, make an appointment to see an ear, nose, and throat specialist. The typical course of action is a physical exam to see if there’s a blockage in your nose or throat, says Dr. Park. The fix may be something simple like a nasal breathing strip or a device to help you breathe (such as a CPAP machine), though in some cases surgery is recommended.

Sleep stealer: sleep apnea

Many people think sleep apnea, which causes a person to stop breathing repeatedly during the night-sometimes hundreds of times, for a few seconds to a full minute-and then briefly wake up, affects only overweight men. But as women age, and especially as they go through menopause, they become just as likely as men to have sleep apnea-even if they’re at a healthy weight, says Rafael Pelayo, MD, a sleep specialist at the Stanford Sleep Medicine Center.

In fact, research shows that 17 percent of women likely have sleep apnea but that 85 percent of cases go undiagnosed. One reason is that women have different symptoms than men do. Snoring, a major tip-off that men have the disorder, is less common in women. They’re more likely to develop symptoms related to being sleep deprived, such as difficulty thinking of the right word, clumsiness, fatigue, depression, or anxiety, says Katherine Sharkey, MD, PhD, assistant dean for women in medicine and science at Brown University Alpert Medical School.

Sleep solution: If you notice these symptoms, tell your primary care physician-the medical community is becoming more aware that apnea isn’t just a man’s problem. If your concerns are dismissed, see a certified sleep specialist (the American Board of Medical Specialties has a list here). To determine whether you have the disorder, you’ll likely undergo a sleep test-either in a lab or at home-during which you’ll be monitored for breathing and oxygen levels throughout the night. The most common treatment for apnea is a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine, which helps maintain airflow while you sleep.

Sleep stealer: thyroid problems

An overactive or underactive thyroid gland could be setting off a domino effect of hormone imbalances that make it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. “When a thyroid is overactive, your heart races, your adrenaline surges, and you can have insomnia and anxiety,” says Amy Myers, MD, medical director of Austin UltraHealth and author of The Thyroid Connection. When the gland is underactive, a condition that becomes more common after age 50, you’re up to 35 percent more likely to have sleep apnea.

Thyroid problems hit women especially hard-they’re up to eight times more likely than men to have thyroid problems, and up to 60 percent don’t realize their insomnia is thyroid-related. It can be tough to pinpoint a thyroid disorder as the underlying cause of sleep problems, says Dr. Myers. That’s because the other symptoms that accompany such disorders-depression, weight loss or gain, anxiety, and gastrointestinal issues-can seem unrelated to sleep.

Sleep solution: Your doctor can confirm or rule out a thyroid disorder by ordering a series of blood tests: TSH (thyroid-stimulating hormone), free T4, free T3, reverse T3, and thyroid antibodies. In the past, physicians tested only for TSH, but getting all five numbers provides a more accurate assessment of how your thyroid is functioning, explains Dr. Myers. Prescription medications can help get your hormone levels back to where they should be, but lifestyle changes like improving your diet-for instance, eating more foods high in iodine, selenium, and zinc, which your thyroid needs to work properly-can make a significant impact as well.

Sleep stealer: stress

© Harry Campbell waking up at night stress Whether it’s a demanding boss or a troublesome toddler, stress and worry can make it difficult to relax, robbing us of a good night’s sleep. That’s because stress activates parts of your brain associated with attention and arousal, according to a 2012 study published in Experimental Neurobiology, which can cause a “vicious circle” of stress-related insomnia.

Sleep solution: “Stress-reduction interventions, such as mindfulness meditation and progressive relaxation, have demonstrated some effectiveness for sleep disturbances, including frequent awakenings from stress,” says Lekeisha A. Sumner, PhD, a board-certified clinical psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles. People with serious stress-sleep issues may benefit from psychotherapy, Sumner adds. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy can enhance sleep quality by helping your brain get control of the stress-based thoughts that can wake you while you snooze.

Sleep stealer: acid reflux

This condition, in which acid backs up from your stomach into your esophagus, can affect your sleep whether or not it results in heartburn. “With heartburn, the discomfort wakes you up. But even if you don’t feel a burning sensation, the acid in your esophagus triggers a muscular reflex to clear it, which can disrupt sleep,” says David Johnson, MD, a professor of medicine and chief of gastroenterology at Eastern Virginia Medical School. This helps explain why people with chronic acid reflux are more than twice as likely to have sleep problems.

Sleep solution: Lifestyle changes like eating smaller meals, not eating late at night, and losing weight can go a long way toward preventing acid reflux, and occasional bouts can be handled with antacids and other OTC drugs. If it becomes a regular occurrence, consult your doctor. “There could be other factors causing reflux-for example, cardiac disease can sometimes lead to heartburn-like symptoms-and a doctor can better diagnose the condition and direct the treatment,” says Dr. Johnson.

Sleep stealer: being a caregiver

© Harry Campbell waking up at night anxiety Taking care of a relative or friend has its own set of stressors that can disrupt sleep. Recent research shows that 76 percent of caregivers report poor sleep quality-and female caregivers, who outnumber their male counterparts two to one, are more likely to be among them. One reason: Female caregivers may spend as much as 50 percent more time providing care than male caregivers do, and researchers think there may be a threshold of time beyond which the likelihood of health consequences-including poor sleep-escalates. And regardless of gender, “being a caregiver is tough on your mental health,” says Dr. Sharkey. “If your loved one is ill or has dementia, you may become sad and anxious, which affects sleep.”

Sleep solution: “You need peace of mind to sleep restfully,” says Dr. Sharkey. So taking steps to reduce your nighttime anxiety is key. If you’re worried about a loved one falling down on the way to the bathroom, get a bedside commode or install low-level lighting to brighten the path. Hiring a nighttime attendant or asking a friend or family member to take the late shift a few times a week can also help.

Taking chamomile supplements may soothe stress as well. In one study, patients with generalized anxiety disorder who took supplements with 220 milligrams of German chamomile extract for 8 weeks saw a significant decrease in anxiety. If you’re not into popping pills, simply sipping chamomile tea may be enough to help you unwind. (Check out these other natural anxiety remedies if you’re having trouble snoozing.)

Sleep stealer: excess belly fat

When you carry extra weight in your midsection, your body has to work harder to breathe when you lie down, which can cause sleep problems. Belly fat can also trigger higher levels of inflammation in your body that disrupt the neurological pathways that control sleep. This creates a vicious cycle, since research shows not getting enough sleep has been linked to overeating the next day (up to an extra 385 calories!), potentially increasing weight gain.

Sleep solution: Preliminary research from Johns Hopkins University found that the more belly fat you lose, the bigger the improvement you’ll see in your sleep. In addition to cutting calories and stepping up exercise (which will help you lose weight all over your body), try incorporating more monounsaturated fatty acids from foods like olive oil, nuts, and avocados into your diet. “Increasing intake of these fats in a sensible way can be a powerful defense against weight gain, diabetes, heart disease, and belly fat,” says David Katz, MD, MPH, founding director of Yale University’s Yale-Griffin Prevention Research Center.

Sleep stealer: vitamin D deficiency

Research shows that more than 40 percent of U.S. adults have a vitamin D deficiency, a problem that’s linked to cardiovascular disease, cancer, and weaker bones, as well as poor sleep. Research from Harvard School of Public Health found that 12 percent of people with low levels of D slept for less than 5 hours a night, and 57 percent were awake for 90 or more minutes in the middle of the night. The findings aren’t surprising considering that vitamin D seems to have a direct effect on parts of your brain that play a role in sleep, says Michael Breus, PhD, clinical psychologist and diplomate of the American Board of Sleep Medicine.

Sleep solution: Your body produces vitamin D when your skin is directly exposed to the sun, but you can’t always get your daily value of 600 international units (IU) that way-especially in the winter or if your skin is darkly pigmented. If you’re deficient, which your doctor can determine with a blood test, you can boost your levels by eating foods rich in vitamin D, like fatty fish, eggs, and fortified milk or orange juice. But since most women get only 144 to 276 IU a day through diet, a supplement may be necessary. Breus advises his patients to take 1,000 IU of D a day, as well as 500 mg of magnesium at night to boost absorption of the vitamin.

⚠️ Always check in with your doctor before you start taking a new supplement, especially if you are taking other prescription medications.

Sleep stealer: a less-than-positive attitude

“The more favorably you look upon sleep-believing it makes you happy and that you feel refreshed after a full night of rest-the longer you’ll actually sleep every night,” says Hannah Peach, PhD, a lecturer in the psychology department at the University of North Carolina in Charlotte. When she recently asked people questions to rate how favorably they viewed sleep (with 1 meaning strongly disagree and 5 meaning strongly agree), she found that for every point higher their scores averaged, the time they spent in slumber increased by nearly 40 minutes.

Sleep solution: If you have trouble convincing yourself that sleep is something your body needs, which can help ensure that you get enough, try keeping a sleep log. Include how much sleep you got and how you felt throughout the day: how happy you were, how easy it was to concentrate, how hard the afternoon slump hit you. “Sleep isn’t a luxury,” says Peach. “And seeing the truth in black and white can help you understand the impact sleep has on your mood and energy.”

Source: http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/exactly-why-you-keep-waking-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-according-to-doctors/ar-BBQ9LzH?srcref=rss

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jerrytackettca · 5 years

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How Sleep Influences Learning Memory and General Health

In the video above, Rhonda Patrick, Ph.D., a biomedical scientist, interviews professor Matthew Walker, Ph.D., founder and director of the University of California Berkeley’s Center for Human Sleep Science and author of "Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams."

In this episode, Walker discusses how sleep impacts your ability to learn and your creative capacity, and the importance of deep sleep for brain detoxification, which can influence your risk for Alzheimer’s disease. The interview starts out with a discussion about how sleep patterns change during infancy, and the implications thereof.

Right around 12 months of age, when the infant is starting to learn to crawl, stand and walk, there’s a tremendous bump in stage 2 sleep, which is a light, non-REM type of sleep during which the brain is very active editing and making decisions about what information to retain and which to discard. In this case, the learning has to do with motor skills development.

Language development also occurs during this phase of life, and sleep plays an important role here too. In fact, sleep plays a crucial role any time you’re learning something new, be it language or mathematics, for example, regardless of your age.

How Sleep Impacts Learning Processes

What’s more, sleep allows your brain to consolidate many different abstract pieces of information, sort of collating them into cohesive patterns that allow you to make sense of the world around you, and your experiences of it. In other words, sleep is crucial for abstract learning — for connecting the proverbial dots — opposed to simply learning individual facts.

While this is particularly relevant during early development, this is something that you continue to do throughout life, and why sleep deprivation can have such a dramatic impact on your mental well-being, triggering confusion and negative emotional states.

According to Walker, sleep affects your learning and memory processes both before and after learning, and cheating yourself of sleep on either end will impact your ability to learn.1

• First, sleep is important before learning, as it helps prepare your brain to soak up new information. Walker’s research shows that sleep-deprived students have a 40 percent reduction in their ability to retain new information, compared to those who got a full eight hours of sleep.

Walker theorizes that your hippocampus could potentially have a time-limited capacity to store new information. When you remain awake for more than 16 hours, your hippocampus effectively runs out of storage space and cannot receive further input.

To continue learning, you need to sleep, during which the information stored in your hippocampus is transferred into long-term storage in other parts of your brain, effectively clearing out your short-term hippocampal storage.

• Second, you need sleep after learning, to properly save and hold on to those new individual facts — and integrate the new information with what you already know.

Walker discusses fascinating research demonstrating that, during sleep, your brain quite literally replays what it has learned, but at 10 to 20 times the speed of normal waking consciousness, and this is thought to be part of memory consolidation, as it increases synaptic strength.

This gathering and storing of new information occurs primarily during non-REM sleep. Then, during REM sleep (dream sleep), your brain fuses all of this new information with the entirety of everything you’ve already stored in your memory banks, creating a continuously evolving and growing “mind-wide web of associations,” Walker explains.

What’s more, while we make associative connections during waking consciousness, the connections we make during REM sleep are “the long shots,” the more bizarre and sometimes illogical associations between seemingly disparate pieces of information. And this is precisely why our dreams oftentimes make no logical sense.

Quality Sleep Boosts Your Creativity

This is also why REM sleep allows us “to divine remarkably creative insight” into problems we could not solve during the day with logical, rational thinking. According to Walker, REM sleep is therefore crucial to acquiring wisdom (opposed to straight knowledge) — the ability to discern and extract meaning from your life experiences.

It’s also crucial to creative problem-solving, and many scientific discoveries have occurred as a result of dreaming. One example is that of Otto Loewi, who was awarded the Nobel Prize in Medicine for his discovery that the primary language of nerve cell communication is chemical, not electrical, as previously thought. The elegantly simple scientific experiment that led to Loewi’s award-winning discovery came to him in a dream.3,4

The chemical responsible for nerve cell communication is now known as acetylcholine, which is also the chemical responsible for the randomization of data connections during dreaming, as it disrupts the connection between the hippocampus, where memories of events and places are stored, and the neocortex, where facts, ideas and concepts are stored and the actual replay of memories take place.

Indeed, overwhelming evidence shows increasing sleep boosts both productivity and creativity.5,6,7 Sleep increases your ability to gain insights that would otherwise remain elusive by about 250 percent. According to Walker, simply dreaming about performing an activity increases your actual physical performance 10fold.

As old and new memories are integrated to form a new whole, new possible futures are also imagined. (This is what you actually perceive as “the action” of your dream.) The sum total of these processes is what allows you to assign meaning to life events and new pieces of information alike.

Sleep Deprivation Fuels Feelings of Loneliness

Walker also discusses some of his more recent research,8,9,10 which suggests loneliness may be closely tied to lack of sleep. For this experiment, 18 young adults were tested under two conditions: after a good night’s sleep and after a night of interrupted sleep.

They were then asked to view video clips of people walking toward them, and were instructed to stop the tape once they felt the person’s presence was infringing on their personal space. Interestingly, after sleep deprivation, the participants’ need for personal space was much greater than after a good night’s sleep.

When sleep deprived, they stopped the oncoming person at a distance that was 60 percent greater than when they’d had a good night’s rest. Brain scans also revealed that when sleep-deprived, they had 60 percent greater activity in the amygdala, an area of the brain that perceives threats.

In other words, the oncoming person was perceived as more threatening when they were tired. This perceived threat amplification from sleep deprivation can also make you more anxious in general, so it may play an important role in anxiety as well.

In a nutshell, the experiment suggests that the more sleep-deprived you are, the less social you become. What’s more, others pick up on this largely subconscious cue to be left alone, and further tests revealed people are more likely to rate you as being lonely when you’re sleep-deprived — and they’re far less likely to want to interact with you as well. As noted by Walker, “sleep deprivation can turn us into social lepers.”11

Loneliness has reached crisis proportions in the U.S. and has severe health consequences. For example, loneliness increases your all-cause mortality risk by a whopping 45 percent, Walker says, and he believes sleep deprivation may actually be a significant underlying factor. The good news is this is something you have a lot of control over and can do something about.

Sleep Deprivation Triggers Fight-Flight-or-Freeze Response

It’s also worth noting that, according to Walker, they’ve been unable to find a single psychiatric disorder in which sleep does not play a role, which really highlights the importance of addressing sleep whenever you struggle with any kind of mental health problem, be it mild or severe.

Walker also notes that research has confirmed high-anxiety individuals are more prone to be negatively impacted by lack of sleep. So, if you know you’re prone to anxiety, depression or negative moods, you’ll want to be extra careful about getting sufficient amounts of high quality sleep. Unfortunately, high-anxiety individuals are also more prone to insomnia, which feeds the vicious cycle.

“The biological red thread narrative of insomnia is an amplified fight or flight nervous system,” Walker says. “You constantly see an overactive sympathetic nervous system in people with insomnia.” Cortisol plays an important role here, and in people who have trouble falling asleep, you typically see a spike in the stress hormone cortisol right at bedtime, when it should normally start to fall.

In people struggling with the other type of insomnia, where they have trouble staying asleep for the duration of the night, you often find mysterious spikes in cortisol at those times, when cortisol levels should normally be really low.

Walker suggests mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques, including meditation, for insomnia, as it calms down your sympathetic nervous system (the fight or flight response) and facilitates the mental disengagement necessary to allow you to fall asleep and not get stuck in rumination and worry.

Other Important Health Benefits of Sleep

Sleep is also required for:

• Maintaining metabolic homeostasis in your brain — Wakefulness is associated with mitochondrial stress and without sufficient sleep, neuron degeneration sets in, which can lead to dementia.12,13,14 Animal research reveals inconsistent, intermittent sleep results in considerable and irreversible brain damage.

Mice lost 25 percent of the neurons15,16 located in their locus coeruleus,17 a nucleus in the brainstem associated with arousal, wakefulness and certain cognitive processes. In a similar vein, research published in the journal Neurobiology of Aging18 suggests people with chronic sleep problems develop Alzheimer’s disease sooner than those who sleep well.

To learn more, see Walker’s paper, “Sleep: A Novel Mechanistic Pathway, Biomarker, and Treatment Target in the Pathology of Alzheimer’s Disease?” 19

• Maintaining biological homeostasis — Your body contains an array of body clocks that regulate everything from metabolism to psychological functioning.

When you upset your circadian rhythm by not getting enough sleep, the results cascade through your system, raising blood pressure, dysregulating hunger hormones and blood sugar, increasing the expression of genes associated with inflammation, immune excitability, diabetes, cancer risk and stress20 and much more.

While the master clock in your brain synchronizes your bodily functions to match the 24-hour light and dark cycle, each and every organ, indeed, each cell has its own biological clock. In 2017, the Nobel Prize for medicine was actually awarded for the discovery of these body clocks.

Even half your genes have been shown to be under circadian control, turning on and off in cyclical waves. All of these clocks, while having slightly different rhythms, are synchronized to the master clock in your brain. Needless to say, when these clocks become desynchronized, a wide array of health problems can ensue.

• Removal of toxic waste from your brain through the glymphatic system — This system ramps up its activity during deep sleep, thereby allowing your brain to clear out toxins, including harmful proteins linked to brain disorders such as Alzheimer’s.

By pumping cerebral spinal fluid through your brain’s tissues, the glymphatic system flushes the waste from your brain, back into your body’s circulatory system. From there, the waste eventually reaches your liver, where it can be eliminated.21,22,23

This short list should clue you in to many of the possible health ramifications of insufficient sleep. Considering the fact that sleep plays a key role in everything from gene expression and hormone regulation to brain detoxification and cognition, it becomes clear that there aren’t many facets of your being that can skate by unscathed when you skimp on sleep.

How Lack of Sleep Affects Your Heart and Cardiovascular Health

Importantly, research shows sleep is a significant factor in heart and cardiovascular health. For example, lack of sleep:

• Prematurely ages your heart — In a study24 involving “a representative sample of U.S. adults,” people who got seven hours of sleep each night had hearts showing signs of being 3.7 years older, based on biological age, than their chronological age. Here, “heart age” was defined as “the predicted age of a person's vascular system based on their cardiovascular risk profile.”

This concept was initially introduced by the Framingham Heart Study published in 2008. People who regularly slept either six or eight hours had hearts that were on average 4.5 years older than their chronological age, while those who got just five hours or less of sleep each night had the oldest biological heart age — 5.1 years older than their chronological age.

As noted by lead author Quanhe Yang, senior scientist in the Division for Heart Disease and Stroke Prevention of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,25 having a higher biological heart age raises your risk of developing heart disease.

Of the 12,755 participants in this study, 13 percent slept just five hours or less per night; 24 percent got six hours; 31 percent got seven hours; 26 percent slept for eight; and about 5 percent got nine or more hours of sleep each night.

Considering the ideal sleep time — based on hundreds of studies looking at sleep and health — is between seven and nine hours, these statistics reveal at least 37 percent of American adults aren’t getting anywhere near healthy amounts of sleep.

• Raises your blood pressure and promotes vascular inflammation — While this link has been previously noted, a set of studies26,27 published last year found that even if you sleep a healthy number of hours, the quality of that sleep can have a significant impact on your risk for high blood pressure and vascular inflammation associated with heart disease.

Here, 323 healthy women between the ages of 20 and 79 wore sleep trackers that recorded onset, duration and quality of their sleep. Those who had mild sleep disturbance such as taking longer to fall asleep or waking up one or more times during the night were “significantly more likely to have high blood pressure than those who fell asleep quickly and slept soundly.”

Are Nighttime Electromagnetic Fields Robbing You of Healthy Sleep?

Download Interview Transcript

A factor that can have a significant impact on your sleep quality (and overall health) is electromagnetic fields (EMFs) emitted from household wiring, electronic and wireless devices. EMF exposure has a detrimental effect on your health regardless of the time of your exposure, but it’s particularly problematic at night, for a number of different reasons.

For starters, EMF exposure reduces your melatonin production,28 which will make it more difficult to fall asleep since you may not feel sufficiently sleepy. What’s more, melatonin is also a powerful antioxidant, and low levels have been repeatedly linked to an increased risk of cancer,29 so the impact on your melatonin production can have both short- and long-term effects.

Deep sleep is also the most important time for your brain health, as this is when its detoxification processes ramp up and take place, as explained in the section on the glymphatic system above.

EMF exposure has also been linked to neuronal changes that affect memory and your ability to learn30 — something to keep in mind if you’re in school, or have school-aged children. Importantly, EMFs also harm your body’s mitochondria by producing excessive oxidative damage. This in turn can cause or contribute to virtually any chronic ailment, including premature aging. To minimize your EMF exposure at night:

Turn your cellphone off. At bare minimum, keep it in airplane mode and put it in a faraday bag.31 That will zero out any radiation. Never sleep with your cellphone under your pillow when it’s on, or for that matter put it on your body when it is not in airplane mode.

If you’re currently using your phone as an alarm clock, consider getting a battery-driven alarm or better yet an audio only clock32 that has no light to disrupt your sleep. At bare minimum, keep the cellphone several feet away from your bed.

Turn off your Wi-Fi at night. Ideally, hard wire your home so you have no Wi-Fi at all in your home.

For a more comprehensive information about the health problems linked to insufficient sleep, and dozens of ways to improve your sleep, see “Sleep — Why You Need It and 50 Ways to Improve It.”

from http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2019/03/30/health-benefits-of-sleep.aspx

source http://niapurenaturecom.weebly.com/blog/how-sleep-influences-learning-memory-and-general-health

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