#why don’t i matter

[futureless]

honestly bro i have no fucking clue what to do w my life & it’s so weird but growing up suicidal i always just had this idea that one day i’d finally succeed & end it all so i didn’t really plan for a future & now i’m 24 & still have no desire to do this shit & i feel like im just existing in a world where nobody understands me & i always get the shit end of every stick & always end up with the broken parts of people that i didn’t break & i never even planned or wanted to be here …

#borderline tag #talk tag #bpd tag #text tag #diagnosed bipolar disorder #borderline personality disorder #take care #substance abuse #cptsdwarrior #life is happening #life is confusing #life is complicated #what do i do #what am i doing here #why do i lose everyone tragically #why do i deserve this #why do i exist #why doesn’t anyone care about me #why don’t i have anyone #why don’t i matter #what’s the point #what’s the truth #who am i

[ummm-no]

I’m tired of being the selfless one who compromises and sacrifices and puts aside my feelings, every. Single. Time.

#why don’t I matter #all you do is ask stuff of me #I’m fucking tired

[tariah23]

oooooo white people in my replies really saying ‘I can excuse racism but I draw the line at homophobia’

Not surprised since this is the site that only talks about racism and thinks it’s a big deal when they see it demonstrated in the cartoons and comics they like *coughs* dungeonmeshi *coughs* (for example at least. I haven’t seen THIS many white ppl talk as in depth about racism on here as much as these fandom nerds, man. I stg. Like “Ohhhh, so you all DO acknowledge that racism is real? Just not in real life even if you could feel it slapping you in the face at high speed. Gotcha.” It’s crazy.

Tumblr is like, 90% white and is extremely centered around them. That’s why you barely see stuff that’s important to black and brown people ever trending here or being talked about. It has to be something incredibly huge to the point where even white people can’t ignore it like they usually do, to talk about it here.

They only talked about George Floyd here because the topic of his death became world news. Even people in other countries were talking about it. Before him, it was probably Ferguson and Trayvon Martin… most of them are still trying their best to ignore the genocides because it’s a “touchy subject.” What do you expect from white people who live in their own bubbles of comfort and refuse to pop it with a needle??? They find comfort in their privilege and faux ignorance (they love playing stupid to avoid conversations about important things outside of fandoms like, are these mfs born with half a brain dedicated to fandom or what.) That’s literally all these mfs make a big deal out of, especially on this annoying ass platform. The ao3 mfs will go to war for the site that allows racist ff and cp like it’s no big deal. I wonder how many people here even donated to the site while actively scrolling past dono posts from folks who really do need help. They act like they’re doing a civil service by defending this site that makes over the amount of it’s intended dono goal in minutes.

Then you already know as soon as you even bring up racism in the stuff they like, they start ganging up and harassing black bloggers especially, calling them TERFs and the whole nine. Anything to make that person look bad for being concerned about the racism that they have such an intense aversion to. God, it’s absolutely exhausting knowing that these people would have no problem choosing a cartoon character over your entire existence if they COULD. Isn’t that fucking sad, man?

#:( #it’s like what can you do #as a black person I get why sm black bloggers here have ‘don’t follow me if you’re white’ in their bios #they’ll call it racist or whatever (it’s fucking not you guys just treat black ppl like shit here and most of us feel unsafe to interact #with y’all. you guys always turn on us at the drop of a hat) #i remember commenting on a HS post funny enough years ago #because the punchline of the post was literally the white mfs saying nigga #and I was so annoyed that I told them off and one of my white mutuals unfollowed meanjsjsjsl #like right after that #and another unfollowed me because I talk about racism and the like a lot like this is a really well known artist too so I was like 🧍🏾‍♀️? #because I talk about racism a lot??? it’s weird lol #like they’ll tolerate you for a while then when they feel offended they start to act weird and act like you’re not supposed to talk about #the stuff that effects you #tkf replies #karmelarts #they don’t give a shit about anything if it doesn’t personally Involve them #they act like they can’t relate to anyone or anything it they aren’t marginalized themselves (being gay or trans which they treat as a #personality trait) #notice how you never see movies/ shows about black and brown ppl trending here? it’s always white centered shit no #matter how hot and popular that show might be #you’ll never see something like the wire snowfall or power trending here #all of the black ppl are on twitter anyway so #sm black ppl got ran off of here by annoying white ppl

[philippslahm]

everyone’s like “see ukraine won because of pity” … as if that was a problem. like the songs a banger but even if other countries felt bad for them and voted so???? your point being? the countries being destroyed and ppl die because of the war CANT they have at least a little happiness?? what’s so bad about that??? there is literally no other country that deserved that win more

#eurovision song contest #eurovision #esc 2022 #eurovision song contest 2022 #ukraine #uh to clarify I mean hypothetically if ppl voted out of pity there would be no problem with it #saw ppl reblogging this coming for me #HELLO CANT YALL READ I PERSONALLY THINK THE SONG IS A BANGER AND THATS WHY THEY WON #i also think it shows europes solidarity for ukraine #so pls don’t insult me in the tags #it’s also just a song contest #there are more important matters #support ukraine #!!! #i personally don’t think it’s was a sympathy vote #I think it was solidarity and a fuck you to russia #but that’s just me #also my native language isn’t english so sorry if my wording is weird

[mcybree]

In his head. I wanted a blorbo-themed phone wallpaper so I made one for myself ig

as my lockscreen (yay!!) + no houses version

#Debated posting this bc it’s very targeted towards what I specifically like #hence why gem is at such a forefront LMAO i like her a lot #I don’t know if i like it as an actual piece but. as my wallpaper i do fuck with it. so. whatever. Doesnt matter if its bad #brawings #Theres no Martyn because i dont think scott thinks about him hardly at all post limlife its a whole thing in my head idk #scott smajor #smajor1995 #Auggh this has been in my drafts for long enough im just gonna post it and look away from its general direction

[forgottenflickr]

I already posted before about this (and with this account too..) but seriously, please stop reposting stuff from this blog without crediting the original Flickr uploader in some form. It’s not hard, you can do it in a variety of ways on twitter. I can’t do anything about it, it’s just shitty

#I don’t like to draw attention or anything negative by posting things like this but I’ve had to once before and this is just a plea nlw #also I do not care if you personally don’t think these photographs hold any value and therefore it doesn’t matter #feel free to have your opinion but don’t ask me to explain why it’s shitty you should probably be able to figure that out yourself #if you can’t that’s on you lol

[francisforever2014]

guys all she gets is hate and 13 grammys and near constant news coverage and billions of dollars and a private jet :(

#LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE #all i get is annoying people in my notes and people telling me smugly that a woman i barely cared enough about to make a singular post #about bc she’s literally inescapable ‘lives rent free in my head’ and where’s my pity . #okay boycott starting NOW!!!!! i deeply regret this post already god i really don’t care #but clearly i do care bc ur being annoying enough to make me care and i always rise to the bait which i why i regret saying anything like w #just need to do a total shut down #and from now on i’m doing my part o7 no matter what stupid shit i’m forced to read

[pixlokita]

I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌

#pix habla #fnaf #✨💖 even if you don’t like frogs and I post about frogs does that make sense #i see some yall not liking some of the stuff I draw and just kinda wonder ? why you still follow lol #i won’t take it personally #even if it’s a mutual heck I’ve even told my friends to unfollow if they ever need a break from my blog =w=👌 #because It’s nothing personal >> #i used to ok so funny story xD I used to follow a friend in middle school on social media #and we were good friends but had nothing in common in what we posted about =w= #like she loved Beatles fanfics (don’t ask do not ask idk I didn’t read past the titles) #and i loved sonic :v #and like #thats aigh ? you don’t gotta ? follow a blog that doesn’t bring joy no matter if you’re close or not #i would honestly hate it if I’m making anyone upset or unhappy #so yeyeyeye I’ve said this before in other fandoms but like >>)✨✨💖 put 👏 your mental health 👏👏👏 FIRST ALWAYS👏 #Stay safe y’all ✨👌 have fun be free #we’re all just… sitting here… online 😔 ain’t nothing to it

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to start this post so now im just doing it sorry

Phantom gets called cat like by the other heros all the time. Hell some of the league members have even joined in after he met them. Fuck you superman how dare you out his purring

Problem is his new power he started developing. Telekinesis. And it’s very hard to control. Now if he looses focus he starts knocking stuff off shelves or off tables.

Frostbite told him he would keep developing powers till his ghost side was grown but he thought it was done. How many more powers does he need!!!!

#lord I hate this post #like I wanted to do the whole thing crazy but im so tired #and it has been in my drafts for a good while now #I hyped it up too so now I look even harder at how crap it is #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #I just wanna go to sleep yall #maybe I will #fuck this I don’t even care any more #is what is is #liz is about to depress herself outta the blog again #rip #happened at 100 followers and 800 followers #I just gotta stop giving a shit about it #why does it matter so much to me #god these tags are horrible #maybe ill redo the post later #but I know yall would enjoy the concept #too bad it’s gonna be attached to my shit ass posy #sorry yall #im not in a good state of mind #but im fine I promise just tired and peobably sick #work really screwed me over and im atressed to the nines about it #ill be fine #it’s fine #im ok #enough tags im a hit post now even though I hate this post

[liesmyth]

would you be able to give examples/explain more about how race only impacts gideon in the tlt-universe? not being facetious or condescending, genuinely asking. thank you!

Hi anon! If you mean my tags to this post, I wrote

#earth conception of race doesn't impact any character in the series except the canonically brown main antagonist

By which I mean my Worstie and main antagonist of the series, John Gaius (PhD).

I don’t think TLT as a series engages with race in any especially meaningful ways. It’s set in a post-Earth society with entirely different social norms, and there’s no concept of race and ethnicity within the population of the Nine Houses. Physical descriptions of the characters are scarce to say the least, and they rarely spell out the kind of features that suggest specific racial connotations, because the POV characters don’t seem to think it’s something worth remarking upon. iirc, it takes until halfway through HtN for the narrative to confirm that Harrow has brown skin.

[See also Tamsyn’s GtN characters description post. It quotes passages from the book, and you can see how minimal the descriptions are, and she repeats several times that her characters’ appearances are up to the readers’ interpretations. It just doesn’t seem to be a big concern of hers]

Then there’s John, who grew up in twenty-first-century New Zealand and IS explicitly Māori in a way that absolutely impacted his character arc. It's not A major theme of his Nona chapters, but it’s there if you read between the lines. The boarding school he went to, which IRL had a high percentage of low-income Māori students on scholarship. The depth of his climate anxiety, his uncompromising “Nobody left behind” stance before the cryo project was halted, and his fervent hatred of ‘the trillionaires’ afterwards... these are all informed to some extent by his background as an indigenous man imo, and so was the global reaction to his developing powers. The “We were going to put you fellas in jail, weren’t we?” the way his initial attempts at publications are all flat-out ignored by the scientific community and dismissed as culty gimmicky faith healing until he leans into it.

John being Māori is just one of the many pieces of his backstory, and far from the most impactful to what eventually went down, but my point remains that he is the ONLY character in TLT whose racial background 1) affects his story arc and 2) is relatable to the audience. Everyone else is ten thousand years removed from Earth, and I’m just not very interested in using racial identifiers when exploring these characters and their dynamics, because the characters themselves don’t care and neither does the narrative.

#on a more hashtag meta level #John is why I’m personally uneasy about any analysis of the series that tries to interpret TLT through racial allegory lenses #especially when it’s weaponised for discourse purposes #You can write meta about John’s war crimes without comparing him to white imperialism #Or you can go ahead and do that anyway but I highkey disagree that it’s a fitting metaphor or in any way deliberate on Tamsyn’s part #and I think the implications are unfortunate to say the least #That said I AM extremely interested in the ways John relates to the culture he left behind #and why he made the choices he did when it came the moment to reshape humanity’s cultural consciousness after the Resurrection #but that’s on a character level! #I don’t think we can apply twenty-first-century social / identity labels to the series as a whole #especially a series where the author says 'I imagine X character as Y but it doesn't raelly matter' #and it doesn't influence the canon directly in any way #SORRY THIS IS LONG! #anonymous #ask #ejg #tlt thoughts #elle tlt posting #tlt

[kadextra]

she understands q!bad so well I’m crying in the club

#qsmp #liveblogging #qsmp bagi #qsmp badboyhalo #madrugaduo #she is so intelligent and kind I LOVE HERRRRR #‘no matter how much he lies to me I won’t leave him alone’ tear out my heart why don’t you #madrugadeiros

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

I had a fic idea and logically the first step seemed to be to make a timeline of canon and. Like. I knew. I knew. But still.

#this is why I write Crackfic #so there’s so much else going on that the timelines don’t even matter #crying inside rn #if anyone happens to know where I can find a good timeline of dc I will love you forever

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

Something that drives me absolutely crazy about Jon and Rickon is that while the rest of the Stark kids love Jon, they’re all too cognizant of his “otherness”. Robb, Bran, and Arya love him as one would love any brother, but he’s always separated from the rest of the family: Ned Stark had five children, and then a sixth who was separate. And even when the Stark kids think of the direwolves, Ghost is always set apart from the rest of them. We’re always reminded that six pups were found in the snow, five huddled together and one who was white as snow separate from the rest of them.

But Jon is not separate in Rickon’s mind. During the royal feast, at an occasion where the social schism between the Stark children is all too apparent, Rickon is too caught up on “where’s Jon? Why is he not here among us? Why is he separate? He should be here!” And we see this when he waddled to where Jon was sitting with the squires, only leaving when big brother set him back on the path to the dais, thus enforcing a social boundary that he himself was not aware of. And the crazy thing is, Rickon is a bit of an other in a way. Shaggy, Rickon’s familiar, is not brown or grey like the other wolves. He’s black with green eyes, a visual representation of northern mysticism just as Jon’s Ghost is.

And it’s going to come to a head when Jon’s true parentage is revealed to the world. And Ghost’s difference becomes even more pronounced. But what a stark (pun intended) reminder it will be to know that Jon is not alone, and he is wholly accepted just as he is. Rickon is so young and full of ignorance. But that childish ignorance could go a long way, especially in reminding a very insecure Jon that he does indeed belong, all differences be damned.

#jon snow #rickon stark #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #their relationship is probably the most underrated among the stark kids but they’re soooo special to me! #I have so much to say about rickon and shaggy and how they too are othered and why that matters - especially within a magical context #I’ll get to it someday…I hope #but anyway I do think it’s so symbolically important that Rickon goes to meet Jon where he is #below the dais and among the squires fully intending to be there with him #the physical differences of the social gap don’t matter because to rickon jon will always be big brother #and a bit of an unpopular opinion but I think rickon’s love will especially prove to be the deciding factor in how Jon moves forward re #robb’s will…but that’s a story for another day

[cryptvokeeper]

don’t get me wrong I think the general interpretation of Leo being like “I put up a cocky front but deep down I don’t actually think I’m that great and that’s why I have something to prove” is good. It’s cool, plenty of drama/angst potential and probably what the creators were going for, I’m here for it.

But there is a distinct appeal to me of the slightly-to-the-left interpretation of Leo being like “it’s not a front, I know I’m that good/smart/skilled, but I also know I’m seen by others as just the goofball face man and that’s why I have something to prove.”

#Rottmnt #Wild metaphor incoming but it’s like the difference between a hersheys bar and fancy Ghirardelli or something #At the end of the day they’re both chocolate. But ones got a bit more depth. #where was I going with this again idk I got caught up in food metaphor #It’s like. With the first one it boils down to character A (in this case Leo) going “I’m useless because I’m not good at [thing]” #Resulting in those around him either going “of course you’re good at thing! Remember the time you were good at thing?” #Or sometimes “it doesn’t matter that you’re not good at [thing] we love you regardless of what you can provide” #And again THATS GOOD THATS SOME GOOD SHIT #I LOVE THAT #but with the latter it’s more like “I know I’m good at thing *but I don’t know how to prove it to you*” #And that gives you the best of both worlds where you CAN get character A feeling bad but not for their lack of thing #But because if no can see it surely they *must* be doing something wrong right? #And ALSO you get the characters around them getting all sorts of feelings of “we didn’t do enough to show we believe in them” #Or “we didn’t notice how hard they tried” #Cuz you can get that a little in the first one but it can come off as kinda meh cuz they didn’t actually do anything wrong #It also has more opportunities for emotions besides straight sadness #You can have anger and conflict of “why am I not good enough for you?!” #That straight sef deprecation doesn’t always allow for #You can also have jealously and envy that feels less toxic and more justified #Not that it strictly needs to be justified mind you #Sometimes some toxic feelings stemming from perceived inadequacy are fuckin *chefs kiss* #But again it’s abt the VARIETY yknow #This isn’t even about Rottmnt anymore I’m just rambling #It’s my post and I get to choose the bullshit tags

[gaytedlasso]

Texts sent to the Diamond Dogs group chat

+ Rebecca & Keeley

#IT HAD TO BE DONE #trent like: Ted you can just speak louder you don’t ha- ….okay #I’m not flipping the driver side cuz I remembered way too late into the process #it’s fine they’re in America that’s why Ted is ordering #Ted is *just* a little too tipsy to drive hence Trent taking the steering wheel #the background is actually painted this time sort of lol #I painted over the pic cuz it doesn’t matter at all #anyways. enjoy Ted’s ass and Trent’s judgy expression #sketch.art #tedtrent #tedependent #Ted lasso #Ted lasso fanart #Ted lasso art

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

#nc111 talks #like growing up the whole concept of ‘being one of the boys’ was so stupid to me #mostly because I had so many guy friends and I was not appreciative of their treatment of me at all #there were definitely times where I wanted to tell them like. hm. I wish you would respect my girlhood a bit more #I love being a woman. I really do #my girlhood is something I keep very close to me. I was very jealous of other girls in my school who exuded that type of femininity #speaking purely from personal experience - just to make that clear #but I like being and being associated with traits that are quite literally stereotypically aligned with Girl-ness #so hard to explain!! but at its core I just love chivalry though lol #one of my friends was like ugh no I’d never want a guy to hold a door open for me just because I’m a girl #‘I’d want them to hold it open because it’s just a kind thing to do’ #and like. yes. core sentiment I totally agree with #but also I Do want to be acknowledged as a girl I spent all of my childhood and teen years having my Girl-ness barely recognised and #it sucked seing the disparity in the treatment #but it also sucked seeing the intent with which these guys treated women chivalrously #which is why Sanji appeals to me. his chivalry is not ill intended or manipulative. ever. and it acknowledges womanhood all the same #OK RAMBLINGGGG #lost the plot. point is I love Sanji because I see him do his little dance while giving Robin a dessert she never had to ask for and I sigh #WISH THAT WERE ME. #edit: none of this matters mostly because I don’t care to date men #but I suppose it’s like. even in my friendships with other girls I feel like there was an inherent establishment that ok so I act as the Guy #And She acts as the girl #when we go out their arms would wrap around mine #and mine never wrapped around theirs. does that make sense #hold their hand as they walked down the stairs in heels. helped them out of cars. you get the image #SANJI WOULD HOLD MY HAND OUT OF A CAR EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him #I’d never have to ask! ah. love chivalry.