#who is short of comedic effect

[dekusleftsock]

Mha fandom when you say that Izuku’s biggest fic mischaracterization isn’t making him twinky:

WHEN DID BEING A TWINK BECOME A BAD THING CAN I JUST ASK THAT

Like yes, twinkifying one male character in a ship can be annoying—it can perpetuate heterosexual roles onto same sex relationships (“who’s the woman in the relationship/who wears the pants in the relationship?”), BUT LET US BE CLEAR:

TWINKS ARE A PART OF THE QUEER COMMUNITY. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A TWINK, MAKING A CHARACTER A TWINK, OR SEEING A CHARACTER AS A TWINK.

WHEN in the ever loving FUCK did that somehow translate into “the twink has to be the stereotypically aggressive one so it doesn’t abide by queer stereotypes”. HOW DID WE GET HERE.

#bkdk #possibly unpopular opinion BUT SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bakudeku #bnha deku #this is not an apply all but in my experience reading fics the biggest mischaracterization is almost never how twinky Izuku is #like never #never ever #he’s just vaguely androgynous… like he is in canon #and I also see this in fanart/other fandom things #I do not see an epidemic of basically woman Izuku with oober masculine Katsuki like is always claimed #and I think the takes I see on that idea are worse and just make the absolute WORST misinterpretations of Izuku’s character #izuku is very much supposed to be read as a character that is unexpected to have some inner turmoil over masculinity because of his- #perceived femininity. that was purposeful. #it was also supposed to draw a more obvious difference between Izuku and the other boys of his class and more specifically ALLMIGHT. #the only boy shorter than Izuku in the UA class is mineta #who is short of comedic effect #horikoshi’s designs in their own right tell a story. Retelling that story so it more fits ‘non queer stereotypes’ in your ships is. in fact. #showing more queer stereotypes. #WOOOO AN ENDLESS CIRCLE THAT CONSISTENTLY LACKS NUANCE I LOVE YA FANDOM 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

[blueish-bird]

I don’t believe in nominative determinism but I’m afraid of older women named Debbie

#Debbie might be short for Deborah. might be short for Devil. who’s to say? #[joking] #it’s happened at least twice now where older women named Debbie were just. The Worst to interact with. #they were both patronizing and stubborn and unkind to kids. I’m starting not to like Debbies on principle. #that’s hyperbole obvi! for comedic effect. I do find the pattern strange though #if I had a nickel… #meposting

[riacte]

"It's rotten work," Ren says. His tail swishes nervously. He has the demeanor of a sad scolded puppy even though no one's scolding him.

False looks up from where she's placing down mud blocks in accordance to the roads that Ren lined out. Ren's theatre kid behaviour must be kicking in now, because to call her work rotten is dramatic and almost insulting.

"It's not rotten to me. There's stuff I would call rotten work, but this is no where near it."

False places down another block. Ren obediently shuffles out of the way.

"Rotten work is when I'm at a tourney and no one's listening to my strategy so I'm left all alone, but then they use my strategy and we actually win while everyone ignores me. Rotten work is when someone sabotages me and I'm the one left to sweep away the pieces. Rotten work is when someone attacks me on purpose and I'm the one who has to apologise for being mad and pacify everyone else. This?" False pulls out another mud block, "is building. And building is not rotten work."

Ren cautiously observes what False is doing, then also pulls out his mud blocks. He moves a few steps forward so he's placing blocks, but out of her way. "It's still work," he admits. "A lot of work, in fact."

False is nonplussed. "But that's what builders do, don't they? And I am the Minister of Transport."

Ren laughs, but it's a quiet laugh. He pauses like he's hesitating, then he mumbles,

"I'm a lot of work."

Now it's False's turn to pause. Her hands continue with placing the blocks, because that's what she does. Building. Grinding. Helping friends out. So on and so forth.

"It's peculiar work for sure," False says, her tone light. "Picking up your stuff when you spontaneously explode. Bugging you about MCC. Teaching you basic colour theory. You can't get orange from blue, Ren. It sadly doesn't work that way."

Ren chuckles at the jab. "Worth a shot, eh?"

False coughs. "Yeah, like I said, peculiar work. But it's fine. I like doing peculiar work because I'm a peculiar person and you're a peculiar person. But together we are normal. Very normal indeed."

Ren considers it. "What if I don't want to be normal?"

"Then we won't be normal."

"What if I want to be normal?"

"Then we'll be normal. Or at least pretend to be."

Ren laughs. "That doesn't make any sense."

False smiles wryly. "Come on now, Ren, when have I ever made any sense?"

He shoots her a grin. "But you're like the most sensible person in the Neighbourhood!"

False lets the silence hang between them for comedic effect. "... No."

"No?"

"If I were sensible, I would've left the Neighourhood long ago."

"Hey!"

"Just kidding. That's why I'm not sensible. That's why I like not being sensible. Besides, I'm not the one who organised the ministry or planned the roads. You did. You're the one with the vision. I'm just following it."

Ren looks around the paths and his tail wags in excitement. "But you're contributing to the vision! I saw the bits and pieces you added! It looks great, by the way!"

False nonchalantly continues placing. "Yeah, you see, that's part of the peculiar work. You draw up the canvas and I edit in the details. It's like how we did the raceway last time."

"Yeah, but I haven't grinded as hard this time around. Too busy with my permit, my dude."

False giggles. "Would you call getting the beacon permit drawing a short straw?"

"I mean, I was the second to die in Demise, but you won and everything worked out in the end, so I don't mind." A pause. "Also gives me a chance to kill those dastardly withers as revenge for all the times they defeated me."

"Right, it's a lot of work to kill them, never mind farm them."

Ren sighs deeply. "There's definitely a lot going on. Especially those buttons, man."

False glances up. They're both still doing the roads. She watches Ren shift up a step and place down a mud brick slab.

"Yeah, but it'll be worth it. I'll buy your beacons. Actually, you can go do your buttons. You can kill some withers. I'll take care of this."

She can almost hear his apologies— sorry that she's doing the roads that he was supposed to do, sorry that he didn't reply to her messages, sorry that he's the way he is.

(And maybe he picks it up too— the way she actually means "I'll take care of you". He always seems to instinctively know what she means under her contradictory and confusing words. In the same way she instinctively knows what he means.)

Ren softly chuckles. "It's peculiar work."

"It's peculiar work especially if it's me, and especially if it's you—"

False sets down a mud brick slab right next to the one Ren placed. Just one slight push, and the pattern of the bricks align like they'd been inseparable from the get go. The corner of her lips quirk up.

"— but that's why I do it."

#ria.fic #hermitfic #falseren #<- platonic #i started writing this waiting for my salmon to steam. lesson of the day: dont steam a thick piece of salmon. #the big salmon voices in your head are EVIL. thin salmon for steaming #also if this reminds you of another fic that's bc i wrote the other fic. self plagiarism is always moral 🔥 #what if we were silly. together #hermitcraft #rendog

[jpnriikicore]

── the tides

paring charles leclerc x fem!surfer!reader, word count 397, genre fluff, ( masterlist )

you moved down to australia to have a break from your life in your hometown and felt like you needed a new scenery and change of speed. a step in the right direction after feeling so lost for so many years.

you turn down the dial on the radio and back in a parking spot next to an expensive car that definitely doesn’t have good parking skills. your in your baby blue bronaco getting her light pink surfboard with a white hibiscus on it out.

that’s how you’ve managed to end up here surfing in competitions. trotting down the same rickety wooden staircase trailed with grains of sand. your feet hitting the coarse feeling the same sand you and your friends play a fun game of volleyball in.

your hand raised to block the harsh sun rays away from your narrowing eyes. a certain guy spots your gaze who is attempting to ride waves, but failing horribly to do so. he’s wearing a wetsuit and his dark hair is dipping in salty water. his skills on the water aren’t super impressive and inexperienced. it was more comedic as it seemed like every time he mounted back onto the board he would fall off in just a matter of seconds. he managed to get into a crouched position only to lose his balance and fall head-first into the salty water. he seemed determined though. so, an a for effect you supposed.

once, you’ve reached the water deep enough you rode waves with ease. you paddle up to him offering him lessons forever how long he is staying in australia. not sparing a second he takes up your offer with a charming smile. he isn’t quite sure how he is going to meet up with you for lessons and attend his formula one duties, but all he is certain of is that he couldn’t pass up an opportunity with someone as pretty as you.

now, you don’t spend your nights with strangers, but maybe you could suffice just this once. sometimes tells you even with the short amount of time that he was spending here that you would be more well than acquainted after your interaction.

what you believed was going to be the last words you ever say to him which is "call me if you’re ever back in australia again."

oh, he most certainly called you.

© JPNRIIKICORE, 2024

#f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x female oc #f1 grid x reader #f1 x you

[em-dash-press]

Skills Writers Gain From Reading

We’ve all heard the old line of encouragement—reading makes you a better writer.

But how exactly does that work?

These are a few skills you’ll gain from reading with the viewpoint of a writer, not just a reader.

You’ll Flex Your Critical Thinking Skills

Reading made up events and imaginary people might not seem like critical thinking, but you’ll use your brain in more ways than one. While you’re sifting through a book, you’re also:

Observing cause and effect correlation

Analyzing how actions and events affect characters or the plot

Recognizing things like bias (narrative or otherwise)

Problem-solving to get ahead of the problem (Who’s the murder? The thief? The villain?)

Remember what you read before (simple, but takes practice!)

All of these skills are part of the drafting and writing process too. Grab a book or two—you’ll need these abilities to bring your stories to life.

You’ll Practice Your Grammar and Spelling

Whether you feel a secret thrill at finding a typo in a published novel or second-hand embarrassment for the people who made it happen, you automatically practice your grammar skills by spotting them.

You’re also reading words over and over again, which makes them easier to recall when you’re trying to spell them.

You’ll Discover New Writing Styles You Like or Dislike

You might also find that some writers vary their sentence structures in ways you like or dislike. The long, stretching sentences within a historical fantasy novel could draw you for the long haul. Maybe you prefer the short, conversational sentences that weave between longer ones in a comedic book.

Word choice is also a significant factor in enjoying a writer’s voice/style. Some writers will challenge you to keep a dictionary nearby at all times. Others will use modern slang or colloquialisms that might take you out of the story—or make it feel more real to you.

As you get used to the styles you prefer, your writing may naturally shadow those styles when you’re writing a story after putting the book down. That’s okay! Experimenting with style or tone isn’t plagiarism and doesn’t make you a bad writer. It’s another step in the journey of defining who you are as a creative wordsmith.

You’ll Learn New Ways to Describe Things

Imagine two writers describing a character walking across the street. One writer might focus on how the character feels, what they’re thinking, or what that moment in time means to them by writing in first-person POV. The other could write about the weather, the city, the cars passing by, or what another person thinks of the protagonist through third-person omniscient POV.

It’s always good to challenge how you might write a scene by reading how others do it. You’ll return to your work or start a story with a new perspective on standby.

You’ll Analyze the Plot

When you fall in love with a novel, it’s natural to think about the plot even after you finish the book. You’re likely reminiscing about the great plot points like two future best friends meeting at a pizza shop after stepping forward for the same order—they shared first and last names! Maybe you loved how each minor conflict built into a war between nations or how a character slowly lost their mind and sought revenge.

You’ll know what works and what doesn’t work about the plot structure based on how a novel grips you or not. Your brain will take note about the many things you feel and store it for instinct later. While you’re plotting that traditional mountain-shaped plot line, your creative side will find inspiration to drop conflict or positive moments that enrich your story.

You’ll Fall in Love With Characters

We’ve all written a good character and we’ve all written a bad one. Do you remember the first time you read a morally gray character? It likely blew your mind and made you want to write one too.

Falling in love with characters is like practice for writers. You won’t want to make the exact same character in all of your future stories (unless you only want to write fan fiction, and if that’s the case—enjoy every moment of it!), so you’ll use them as inspiration just like people in real life.

You’ll Improve Your Concentration

Not to sound like a cliche, but social media companies literally create their apps to monetize the brain’s ability to crave stimulation. Scrolling and swiping has likely had an effect on how long you can concentrate. I know it has for mine!

Even if you’re not on social media, things like the pressure to multitask and juggling responsibilities can wear on your focus too. If you miss those moments in your childhood or teenage years when you would spend an entire afternoon or weekend with a book, you don’t have to be sad for long.

Reading any length of a book can improve your concentration. Set a timer and read for five minutes. Next time, read for six. Slowly expand your time for reading (while there aren’t other distractions around, like notifications on your Kindle or your phone screen lighting up nearby).

As you read in longer stretches, you’ll write in longer stretches too. Your brain will feel more at rest with the one quiet activity you choose to do. Did I mention that makes editing way easier too?

-----

The next time you feel guilty for reading something instead of writing, remember that you’re also sharpening these skills! Reading is an invaluable way to get better at writing. All you have to do is pick up a book.

#writing tips #writing advice #writeblr #read to improve your writing #writers of tumblr #creative writing

[sirtotallynotatimetraveler]

Welcome To Confection Castle! (AU)

What in the World is Confection Castle? :

Confection Castle (formerly known as Candy/Candied Castle) is a role-swap AU of Pizza Tower, akin to the more well-known PT swap AU, Sugary Spire. Unlike Sugary Spire, Confection Castle only swaps the roles of the characters and not their personalities, with a few alterations. With the unchanged personalities of each character, this instead changes the mechanics, environment, and even story of Pizza Tower, with each character handling their swapped roles more differently than Sugary Spire's interpretation.

(This AU's concept was largely inspired by TS!Underswap. A reimagining and fangame of the Undertale AU, Underswap, which uses the same concept)

The Story:

Teddy is faced with the consequences of his own actions after pulling one too many pranks against a castle that was bought out by a huge confection company, Candyboy Corporations. A company that steals the competition against smaller sweets business owners. Teddy's given a warning by the corporation CEO's assistant, Granny Candydimples, that the CEO will destroy his and many other confectionary's shops, forcing them to all work for his company. Thanks to the warning, Teddy and his confectionary allies team up to take down the Confection Castle and its evil schemes.

The Characters (may or not feature some slightly outdated art):

Teddy Taffy (Theodore Taffy) - Noise in the Role of Peppino: A smug, witty, mostly down to earth, prankster who formerly premiered on the big screen before leaving it all to continue his family's legacy: making mouthwatering candy and sweets. He owns a quaint candy shop in a vaguely European town near a looming Confection Castle. He's obsessed with sugar and when he consumes a good amount of it, can become hyperactive and manic.

Suzy (Suzette) - Noisette in the Role of Gustavo: A kind-hearted, rule-following, and dorky dessert baker who owns a bakery/patisserie next to Teddy's candy shop. She's close friends with Teddy and secretly has a crush on him, which may or may not be obvious to everyone except Ted. Like Ted, her business was challenged by Candyboy Corporations, forcing her to rally against the castle with Teddy,

The Ingredipets - Role of the Toppins: Little creatures resembling confectionary ingredients that were kidnapped and enslaved by Candyboy Corp. to make the companies candy. Teddy and his allies will save each of them to defeat their competitor. Ingredipets may be different depending on the character being played.

Captain Crackle (Peppino Ravioli) - Peppino in the Role of The Noise: Captain Crackle is a well-known cereal brand pirate captain mascot for the cereal of the same name. He's played by a worn-out has-been TV and opera celebrity Peppino Ravoli who does the bidding of Candyboy Corporations to make a living. He takes on three jobs: Captain Crackle, a Candyboy Corp. gift shop worker, and the Castle's TV News Anchor. He just wants to quit everything and live a peaceful life making pizza, his real dream.

Mr. Gus (Gustavo) - Gustavo in the Role of Noisette: Mr. Gus is Captain Crackle's pirate sidekick who serves as the comic relief character, always getting the short end of the stick and being kicked/thrown around the place for comedic effect. His actor, Gustavo, has a similar story to Peppino's, working for the castle, trying to sustain a living. He owns a secret soda tavern hidden from where his boss can find it.

Mr. Lollygagger - Pizzahead in the Role of Mr. Stick: Teddy's accountant who both does and doesn't take his job seriously. He pulls many gags toward his patrons to get them to comply with his offers and tries to pose as a nice, patient, and understanding accountant who needs money in exchange for a good offer. Ted's annoyed by him, A LOT.

Sapphire - Snick in the Role of Brick: An adventurous, rule-breaking, and cocky rock candy Porcupine who loves to skate on his hoverboard at the speed of sound. He becomes friends with Suzy after pestering her rule-following morals and later helps her and Teddy's journey.

Murray Muffinman - Pepperman in the Role of Gerome: An experimental artistic genius restrained to the role of maintaining the paint job of the castle. When he's on break he goes to his supply room to unleash his creativity through all sorts of mediums. He can be found all over the castle. He will reward his own art if he is helped to find his supply room.

Gumther Gumdrop - Vigilante in the Role of The Priest: Gumther is a farmer who grows sweet-tasting fruits that grant magical healing abilities. He sells his fruits in fruit stands all over the castle but it comes with a price.

Butler Scotch - Gerome in the Role of Pepperman: Scotch is the butler of the Royal Candy Family, who were the original owners of the castle before signing an agreement with Candyboy Corp. Scotch is the first boss Teddy has to fight due to one of the Royal Candy's prince (originally intended to fight Ted) left Scotch to stand on guard as he goes out for lunch.

The Pope - The Priest in the Role of The Vigilante: The leader of the Caramelist religious group and overseer of the Basilicaramel Church. After Teddy destroys the church during one of the levels, The Pope seeks to cleanse Ted of his sins by fighting against him.

Granny Candydimples - Granny Pizza in the Role of Pizzaface: The oldest member of the Royal Candy Family who was demoted and forced to the role of the CEO's assistant. She's kind-hearted and honest with no ill intent unlike her boss, going out of her way to disobey him sometimes.

Uncle Candiesworth - Pizzaface in the Role of Granny Pizza: The Uncle of the Royal Candy Family. He's one of the few family members who rebels against Candyboy Corporations and agrees to help Teddy and his friends destroy the castle. He's grumpy, bossy, and insults people constantly, but he has a good heart.

The Teddy Doll - Role of Fake Peppino: A cursed doll resembling Teddy. It's been presumed to have been cursed with dark magic, cast on by a cult. It is unknown what the purpose of this doll was for. All we know is that you won't see it in the same place it was left at the second you turn your back towards it.

Cookie Blair - Role of Mort the Chicken: Oh boy! It's Cookie Blair from the hit 90's 3D point-and-click PC abandonware game Cookie's Bustle! Watch as she and Teddy travel across Cookie City as Ted tries to hide Cookie from the police trying to remove her entire existence for good. (To whom it may concern (looking at you), I am not profiting off this project, therefore not profiting off Cookie's Bustle. Please don't copyright strike me or this project.)

Nezukira - Brick in the Role of Snick: Nezukira is the world-famous thunder rat character from the equally famous elemental critter collecting and fighting video game "Sackicritt". Nezukira is heavily merchandised with its adorable appearance; from plushes, socks, gummies, and cigars. Besides Nezukira, there are several other Sackicritts to obtain, with "Net Handlers" who accompany them.

Jen Beam - Role of John Pillar: Jen is the older sister of Butler Scotch. She is the caretaker/ruler of all the levels in the castle, making sure that everything is in order and won't crumble to the floor. She guards the door to each "dimensional control room" that deactivates the levels in the castle. She will only let people pass if she is given gourmet candy with the finest ingredients.

Candyboy - Role of Pizzaboy: Candyboy was the prime mascot and face of Candyboy Corporations. He's a happy-go-lucky, fun-loving, eccentric kid with all the childhood innocence packed into one. He loves candy and is very marketable. Despite Candyboy's innocent presence being long gone, he is still the face of the company.

The Candyman - Role of Pizzahead: The Candyman is the man behind the whole corporation, mostly know as the CEO. Not many have had the chance to meet The Candyman in person, but he's been said to be demanding, ruthless, and manipulative to get what he wants. He will do everything to gain the title of being the best confectionary business. If it exists, he wants it in his company.

---------------------

And that's it for character introductions! I am planning on adding characters that will be entirely original in this AU like new friends that will accompany Ted, new bosses, and other characters that will build the world for this AU. Other stuff such as levels, music, and game mechanic ideas are in the works too. Lots of stuff is planned for this AU project!

If you want to make fan art for Confection Castle, go ahead! I love fan art! Just make sure to tag me if you post it. Other fan stuff like music is cool too!

Thanks for reading y'all.

(Also, I am not planning on making this an actual game as I have no experience with coding or stuff that is needed to actually make a game. But if anyone with experience with game design wants to make it happen...hit me up haha.)

#my art #pizza tower #pizza tower fanart #pizza tower au #confection castle #confection castle au #long post #the noise #peppino spaghetti #candy castle #noisette #au concept #sugary spire #sugary spire au #brick #pepperman #the vigilante #mr stick #gustavo #pizzahead #pizza tower pizzaface #pizza tower priest #gerome the janitor #john pillar #granny pizza #pizza tower toppins #pizza tower snick #teddy taffy #captain crackle #character designs might change as time goes by

[txttletale]

I dont know if i would consider the prompt creation process to be the equivalent of being able to effectively position a camera. Like i agree on the political aspect that ai image generation is not a big deal and that the issue is actually capitalist economic relations but at the same time i think trying to argue that ai art is art feels needlessly pedantic? I would assert the real heart of the issue is less “ai art isnt art” and more “the person providing the prompt to an art generator is not an artist but more of a commissioner”. Im trying to plug up holes in this argument so you cant just reply with a short comedic response.

i don't think the commissioning comparison holds up -- the reason the commissioner does not take any artistic credit for a commissioned piece of art is because that's a part of the social contract of commission work among a lot of independent artists. this is not transhistorical or innate & the fact that the apportioning of creative credit here is mostly just a function of the economic relations involved becomes obvious when you consider a similar artistic dynamic outside of that specific set of social norms and economic agreements. e.g. look at alan moore's famously detailed panel descriptions:

despite the fact that alan moore did not draw a single line of this resulting panel:

i think it would be nonsense to claim that he is not in a meaninful sense one of the artists who created it!

#ask

[late-to-the-party-81]

here’s a little challenge for you: steve + bucky + reader + one bed. make what you want of it hehe 😇 congrats on 1k, jen! <3

In the middle of the night

AN: Another day, and once again, beds appear to be in short supply. Thank you for this thot, Lyn!

Beta’d by @lfnr-blog-blog-blog, dividers by @firefly-graphics, moodboard and banner by me

Main Master list | Challenge Master list

Summary: What’s worse than sharing a motel room with the supersoldier boyfriends you have a crush on? Having to share a bed with them.

Relationship: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

CW: THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, Smidge Angst, Minor miscommunication, pining, teasing, implied smut about to commence.

“Guys, I’ll just take the sofa. I’ll manage.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince them or yourself. It didn’t work though; Bucky just looked at you with his eyebrow raised.

“Really,doll? You might be shorter than us, but you’re not that short.”

He was right, of course. At 5ft 10 you were far too tall for most sofas let alone the one in the room of this ratty motel. 

“What do you suggest then? That we all sleep in that?” You nodded your head at it. It being the king sized bed in the middle of the room.

Steve looked up from where he was rummaging through his go bag.

“Seems like the only sensible option to me. Normally we’d offer to sleep on the floor, but…” He eyed what passed for a carpet in the room. You had to agree with him. The chances were that anything placed upon it for any length of time would be carried off by the roaches that were probably living in it. You shuddered at the thought and repressed a gag.

“Well as long as you two keep the mushy stuff to a minimum, I suppose. It’s bad enough when I’ve shared a room with you both before and you’re being all cuddly and shit. Makes a single girl sick.” This time your gag was for comedic effect.

Bucky grinned at you, and in two strides was next to you, arm slung around your shoulder, giving you a slight squeeze.

“Are you just jealous in general, or jealous of one of us, specifically. Wouldn’t blame you; we are both hot.”

“You wish!” You pulled a face and shoved him away. “Now go get a shower, Barnes. You smell of swamp.”

He pouted back, but his light blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Me! What about Stevie! And you, doll. We all fell in that water.”

“Yeah, but you’ve still got swamp weed in your hair.”

You reached up and plucked the offending piece of flora from his chestnut locks then, feeling impish, threw it at Steve. It landed on his shoulder, but he just turned on ‘the Captain glare’ as you and Bucky started giggling like children.

An hour later you were finishing off in the small, and frankly disgusting, bathroom. 

Bucky had used it first, scurrying in to escape Steve’s overdramatic ire and you had gone in search of food. When you got back Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed, in his sweats and rubbing his hair dry with a threadbare towel. You threw bags full of food for your two enhanced teammates onto the coffee table.

“Cap in the shower?”

“Yeah - he won’t be too long. I’ve known that guy to have a full shower in less than 2 minutes. And after all these years, I’m still not sure how he does it.”

True to Bucky’s, Steve had stepped out just then, clad in his own sweats, short blond hair sticking up from where he’d given it a quick scrub. Gathering your own wash things and clean clothes to sleep in, you’d slipped around him, trying to ignore the loving look Bucky was throwing at his boyfriend.

Luckily there was enough hot water left for you. The boys wouldn’t have heard the end of it otherwise.

Returning to the bedroom, you mentally prepared yourself for an awful night’s sleep.It was bad enough that you were, once again, sharing a room with two men you had massive crushes on - who only had eyes for each other, this time you’d also be squished on the same bed, no doubt clinging onto the edge of the mattress and trying not to fall out.

The two supersoldiers were already lying in the bed, eyes closed, Bucky being the little spoon to Steve’s big one. They were scootched over so far that you were worried that Steve was about to drop off his side. Gingerly you climbed into the remaining space, your back to Bucky, and you switched off the small lamp they’d left on for you.

Moonlight shone through the thin curtains, casting weak shadows. You tried to relax but found yourself just staring at the strange shapes thrown on the wall in front of you. You could hear both of them breathing. 

Slow. 

Steady. 

Completely fake.

Bucky shifted behind your back, his arm brushing over your ass and hip. If he had been asleep you could have believed it to be accidental. It settled across your waist, a copy of how you imagined Steve’s was lying over his.

“Um…Buck?” You whispered out of habit. “What are you doing?”

“‘S not a lot of space, doll. We need to cosy up, so you and Stevie don’t fall out.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“He’s also like a radiator, sweetheart. And we’ve noticed you don’t like to get cold. Just go with it.” Great. Now Steve was joining in.

“It just feels… you know… weird.” Something about the darkness was making you feel braver than you had in a while. Although that bravery started to wane slightly when Bucky shuffled even closer and you could feel his breath on the back of your neck.

“Whaddya mean ‘weird’? I think it feels nice.”

You flipped over to face him, despite the fact that there was so little light it made the gesture pointless. You were getting frustrated. Both emotionally and sexually.

“Bucky. Your boyfriend is right there, cuddling you, but apparently cuddling me is nice. And for some reason Steve is fine with it.”

The shadows behind Bucky shifted; Steve lifting his head.

“Wanna know why I’m fine with it?”

“Cos you’re secure in your and Bucky’s relationship, and you know this is just practical?”

He chuckled, low and deep, and boy did the sound do things to you. Oh, god! How keen were his senses? Would he be able to smell your arousal?

“Well, yes, but also, no…”

Before you could question him, Bucky’s arm tightened around your waist and suddenly he flipped you both, placing you in the middle of the bed, wedged between him and Steve. Your hands were pressed up against Steve’s chest, his coarse chest hairs tickling your palms. Bucky’s hand was splayed against your stomach, keeping you in place, pressed against him.

“What the hell?”

“We realised something, doll.” Bucky was practically purring in your ear. His hips pressed up against your ass and…oh!

“W-what’s that?” You could barely breathe, frozen rigid in the bed, afraid to move.

Steve wiggled down the bed in front of you, so that your hands were on his shoulders and both your faces were level.

“That you aren’t jealous of either of us when Buck and I are being affectionate. You’re jealous of both of us. You’ve got the hots for both of us.”

You scowled, hoping that despite the low light he could see your annoyance.

“So, what? You decided you’d both tease me. Thanks so much.” You shuffled violently and sat up, kicking off the last part of the coverlet. You pushed up on your knees, but Steve copied you, effectively blocking you.

“We’re not teasing you, sweetheart. Let me finish. Please.”

The bed dipped behind you; Bucky getting to his knees too. Your head was a swirl of emotions. Confusion, want, frustration, and something that might have been hope. Steve took hold of your hands, rubbing his thumbs across the backs of your knuckles.

“We’re trying to tell you… we’ve got the hots for you too.”

“Majorly,” Bucky interjected. “It’s been torture these last few months. Fighting beside you. Sharing a room. You, being so close, but not attainable.” You could feel the heat radiating off him and all you wanted to do was relax back onto his firm chest. And you wanted to believe what they were apparently telling you.

Steve tugged on your hands, pulling you closer to him.

“You can’t begin to imagine how Buck and I have been when we’ve got back to our apartment at the compound after missions with you. How we’ve been so wound up, so goddamn horny thinking about you. Thank goodness for sound-proofing. I think we’ve fucked each other seven ways from Sunday everytime.”

Bucky had moved again; regained his previous spot plastered against your back. Both his hands were settled on your waist, just above your hips. He dipped his head, and his hair brushed your neck before his lips settled just below your ear. Testing you.

“Do you want us, doll?” His lips trailed down your neck and you tilted it to bare your throat to him. Your busy mind had cleared. Now only the want remained. Bucky and Steve were pressed against you in the moonlight, surrounding you with their scent and promising you pleasure. All you had to do was answer.

“Yes!”

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[joyce-stick]

An Essay About Slash Review of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, A Video Game Which is Very Good

(and also: has prompted many quite wrong rather bad takes)

An essay by Audrey of the joystick system

The very bad discourse and drama around The Coffin of Andy and Leyley has served to obscure the simple fact that it is quite a very good video game and this video essay is here to tell you about that.

Video version:

Previous video essay: Lost Judgment's Lost Plot

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Transcript:

Hi everyone. So. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is really, really fucking good.

If you’ve heard of this game, you’ve probably heard of it in the context of memes, screenshots divorced from context, and/or capricious moral outrage. If you’ve not heard of this game, well, you’re hearing of it now! And good thing, too, because much of the coverage and discussion around this game that already exists has… been, let’s just say, not particularly earnest. I hope to remedy that at least somewhat with this video.

If you’ve heard about this game because of discourse, and come here expecting drama and hot takes, then, this may not be your video. Or your YouTube channel, even. Or maybe it is, if you’d like the delicious comments section. If you’re that sort of clicker, though— welcome! I’m Audrey of the joystick system, and this is the place where I (and my headmates) talk honestly about things we care about, and I hope you’ll hear me out a little and maybe consider staying and improving our viewer retention. Thanks, if you do.

So, to writ: My purpose today is to gush. I will be gushing here. For most of it. And as for what I will be gushing about, some of it will be gushing BLOOD, GUTS, AND DELICIOUS DEATH. I am entirely serious. The subject of today’s presentation contains mature content, including copious foul language and themes slash depictions of death, cannibalism, cultism, demon summoning rituals, parricide, dystopian social decay, and heterosexuality. Oh, and also a little bit of incest as a treat, I guess, but the incest is heterosexual, and that’s worse.

[long pause]

Excellent. You’re still here. So. This morbidly beautiful video game may not be for everyone, but that’s good, because it is instead for exactly me! A short plot synopsis of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley might go as follows:

if you're not watching the video listen to this for extra effect

Siblings Andrew and Ashley Graves are forcibly quarantined inside their apartment by the local authorities, with no food and even less hope for rescue. Their parents have abandoned them. Absolutely no one is coming to save them. In order to survive and escape this awful situation, they butcher and consume the fresh flesh of some guy who got himself soul vored by a demon that he summoned without a plan.

This conspicuously carnivorous crime, and their effort to cover their tracks, puts them in a fair bit of a deeper shithole than they are already in. So naturally they keep digging themselves deeper by committing even more crimes, AND in the process, also dig themselves deeper into their toxic codependent sibling relationship, which is going just great, thank you. Sure, Andrew almost killed his sister, but he didn’t, and that’s what matters! And she still loves him, so it’s all good!

This is of course a joke.

First thing I absolutely love about this game is the writing. It’s witty, intelligent, uncompromising, and just generally delicious. It holds nothing back in depicting the toxicity of the two leads and their relationship, resulting in two compelling characters whose flaws and few virtues perfectly complement slash exacerbate one another, resulting in a beautiful train wreck of a relationship dynamic that proves equal parts disturbing, mesmerizing, and hilarious.

The charming darkly comedic bite of the writing style also lends a lot of great character to the setting. This sardonically presented dystopian world is both richly detailed and fleetingly elaborated on, a commendable balance to have achieved, in my opinion. The first chapter of this game is hilarious not just because of the banter between Ashley and Andrew (which is terrific), but because it presents such a sharp satire of current year bullshit.

As just an example, I give you, one of my favorite jokes in the game:

I probably don’t need to explain the thing this is making fun of to you, but I will anyway.

The situation presented in The Coffin of Andy and Leyley’s first episode is very easily readable as an allegory for how disasters that are a direct result of ongoing 2020s late capitalist decay continuously fuck people over. In particular, this scenario feels like a direct commentary on both the COVID-19 pandemic as well as the Flint, Michigan water crisis. The former obviously has affected way more people but what both have in common is that they are crises created and exacerbated by malfeasance and/or negligence committed in the name of for-profit interests, and that the “response,” to them, such as there was one, has amounted to dehumanizing and marginalizing the victims while minimizing the issue, forcing the victims out of society’s wider view, and being reticent to punish the individuals responsible. 

Just as the authorities responded to the water crisis and the worst excesses of the pandemic in real life, the authorities in The Coffin of Andy and Leyley impose half-measures designed to further restrict the freedom of the dirty undesirables who bear the worst damages, while merely shielding the upper echelons of society from the disaster rather than actually addressing or attempting to solve the issue. Most of you who lived through 2020 in the United States probably have experienced the frustration of being on the receiving end of this kind of policy.

During the pandemic, the quarantine was supposed to protect us, but for a lot of people it ended up doing quite the opposite. A lot of folks didn’t have any savings, and couldn’t get any since the employment market wasn’t exactly on fire, and our representatives had to be bothered way too much just to put out a pithy economic stimulus just to save face. Not to say that this all has stopped, exactly, as all that’s changed now is that we’re just, living with this situation, but.

It wasn’t literally a cop outside everyone’s door preventing them from going outside to not die, but for a lot of people, it might as well have been that! Never mind those who, y’know, had no inside to retreat to. Or were imprisoned during the pandemic and left even more unprotected! Or thrown out by their landlords! And so on. And, y’know, the big chain grocery stores keep throwing out all the perfectly good unsold food, so they’re already sending this message in all but, well… these exact words.

So, that’s why I think this joke lands. It’s exaggerated, but familiarly rooted, and that’s just good satire! It’s a joke which feels lifted right out of Invader Zim, which, I would put The Coffin of Andy and Leyley right about on the level of as far as both the tone it’s going for and the quality of its execution. Which of course, brings us to the extremes that these circumstances push its characters, and its plot, to.

Okay, so, also like Invader Zim, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is hardly a polemic, nor is it a morality tale. Sure, there’s social commentary in it, but that’s just a nice side thing. It’s not a story about the otherwise innocent victims of an unjust society who are pushed to do terrible things by circumstances outside their control— it is, rather a story of terrible people, who, both because of their character failings, and the desperate situations they find themselves in, find themselves doing even worse things.

Andrew and Ashley commit the cannibalism the first time in large part because they kind of have to do it. No food! Cop outside their door actively deterring them from getting food! Out of options! So they do it. They could probably be excused, if only they were given a fair trial. Which they realize they’re not going to get. So yeah. It’s understandable that they do it. And that they kill this one cop, who very much has it coming.

But they do not have to keep doing it! And gosh grief, do they keep fucking doing it— so many its. They really do not stop digging that hole that they are in. Even the first time that they do the cannibalism, when they kind of really have to do the cannibalism, Ashley is just a little bit more excited about doing the cannibalism than she probably should be.

I love this kind of delicious edgy dark humor. I love stories that go for it, imagine the worst possible people they can, and also try to make that funny. I love this about Invader Zim, that it presents a character who is unquestionably a monster, but also has relatable human desires like wanting to fit in and being concerned about looking weird or abnormal, but has those feelings for very different reasons and acts on them by committing some very despicable crimes. It really gets at a deep-seated darkness that I and a lot of other fucked up traumatized queer people who were little kids when this show aired have, the catharsis of visualizing some of our worst intrusive thoughts while evoking the emotions that pushed us to imagine this kind of fucked up shit.

I’ve loved this kind of thing since we saw Heathers when we were 14. Heathers is an absolutely incredible film that you should check out, by the way, and about which we failed to properly or interestingly articulate our thoughts a few years back. Its lead protagonists, Jason “J.D.” Dean and Veronica Sawyer, are similarly relatable characters who have familiar feeling flaws and emotionally resonant trauma hangups, and also function as very toxic enablers of each other’s worst traits, leading them to work through those feelings by, y’know, murdering their classmates!

Heathers made us realize just how exactly mentally ill of a 14 year old we really were when we were 14, and I love it for that. So. So fucking much.

That was ten years and change ago.

We are still a mentally ill 24 year old.

And Andrew and Ashley Graves, if I had to sum them up, are basically J.D. and Veronica, if they were in their twenties, siblings, and also way, way, way worse.

And I love them.

So, obviously. Ashley and Andrew are hilarious. At least, I find them to be such. They’re terrible, and awful, and amazing, and Ashley is such a girlboss. She is one of the most God Forbid Women Do Anything characters ever.

Anyway! I’ve talked about the cannibalism, and the dystopia, and the characters, and why all of that’s good. I’ve also forgotten to talk about the part where they evade an assassin, and, also a host of other things.

I love that this game has so many fun little optional interactions with NPCs, objects, and items, that you can totally miss. I love how the narration hints at the solutions to puzzles by snarkily referring to things you can interact with as what their purpose is to the characters rather than what they are, this quip about the mop that you clean up a murder scene with, the interactions that Andrew has with these cultists who suck at demon summoning, the excellent in-game art and the brilliant visual duality of Andrew and Ashley’s character designs, this line where Andrew is upset that life is so hard for them as fugitives from the law because they can only find this one shitty motel that takes cash and doesn’t ask them for their ID, and also the music, which is royalty free music made by people unassociated with the developer but is nonetheless perfectly suited for the game.

So much about this game is stuff I find so completely brilliant, and I have so little to criticize, that I think we’d probably be here all day if I kept going. So.

Let’s spend a thousand ish more words talking about the parents.

When The Coffin of Andy and Leyley begins, the protagonists’ parents are absent. You can optionally find two early references to them early on— one, if you interact with the bed in their bedroom, and encounter the shocking revelation that “Your parents have FUCKED on this bed.”

The second, is if you interact with the phone, the game dutifully informs you that,

You’re probably less than five minutes into the game at this point, barely begun solving the first puzzle, which prompted you to “find nutrients to not die.” And of course, this says about all you need to know. These children have been abandoned. But if it needed to be any clearer, the game later delivers unto you a flashback to prior in the story, when Ashley desperately calls Mrs. Graves for help after they leave and go move to a hotel, and later a new house, to which the kids are of course not invited. And this specific scene, specific line, here, fucking hit me:

“And I don’t want to hear these lies about starving anymore.”

Emphasis mine.

Even as Ashley and Andrew escalate the severity of their crimes which gradually come to have less and less to do with their need to survive as the story goes on, I find it very hard to not be on their side at least a little bit, and this is easily the biggest reason why.

I have had this phone call.

Not this exact specific phone call, of course. Obviously, I’ve never been locked up in an apartment with an armed patrol outside my door whose job it was to gaslight me while ensuring that I starved to death. Obviously, my mom has never said those exact words.

But gosh grief and fuck me if it’s never felt like she has. She may as well have fucking told me that, with all the things she told me I was lying about. And who fucking knows, maybe she did say those exact words to us, and we repressed them. I don’t know. I am very not done working through all the bullshit that she gaslit us over.

*sighs, preparing to vent*

I have called our mother and had to beg her to pay for food. I have called her and had to beg to pay for our rent, while our parents were supposed to be supporting us studying abroad. I have called her and begged her to forgive me for daring to use just a few of the thirty dollars our parents used to send us to live with every month back then, to buy a drink or a movie ticket or something. I have had to concede to our parents financially holding us hostage, had to go the last week of the month on a shoestring diet while waiting for them to graciously deposit another thirty dollars into our bank account... so that we could continue eating. I used to relish February, the shortest month, for being the one part of the year in which I had to stretch out that thirty dollars the least. And once, I pleaded with our mother to pay for us to move to another apartment when the landlord suddenly kicked us out of the current one, abruptly and obligatorily switching gears from arguing with her to kissing her ass through our gritted teeth, under threat of our parents cutting off their financial support of us completely, abandoning us in a foreign country where we had no money, no job, and barely spoke the language.

And one day, after I stopped dancing to their tune, they just stopped listening, stopped even pretending to want to help. After nineteen years of escalating emotional and physical abuse and neglect, they abandoned us. And one day, after I spent months working 10 hour days every week Ubering food around for tips, sending my resume, filling applications, making calls, stopping into places to ask for work, all to no avail, for months, and desperately plugging the Patreon page of this very YouTube channel praying that some generous soul with money to burn would solve all our problems. All of this still wasn’t enough, and wasn’t going anywhere, and I’d run out of money and was short on rent on the one sublet room we could get that cost exactly three hundred dollars…

And I called her, and I asked her for help. I really didn’t want to. I wanted to hear nothing of her again. And she said to stop lying. To stop bullshitting her that I couldn’t get enough money, or find a job.

Not too long after, I swore off all contact with her, and eventually also with our father. And every time I have spoken to either of them since, I have made no secret of how I feel. Because if I get nothing out of kissing their ass, why fucking pretend.

My family is not poor. They own their house. They own, and leased out, a second house. Their house is full of fancy IKEA furniture and various other niceties, they’ve renovated the place at least twice, they live in a nice, safe neighborhood, they have an attic and a basement, they at one point paid for multiple plane tickets for us per year while still refusing to let us eat on any more than thirty five dollars, an extra five dollars we also had to beg them for. Our dad has a lucrative tech job. All of this, and they insisted, while refusing to answer questions about their finances in any detail, that they couldn’t afford to help us go to where we wanted to go for college, that they had no place for us in their house, that they couldn’t afford three hundred dollars of rent to help us have a roof over our head for one more month.

So when I read this delightful jaunt of a chapter of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, where Andrew and Ashley break into their parents’ new huge house to steal all their shit, and Ashley says “This is some rich people stuff!” about their fireplace,

And when their mom says, “there’s no room to keep housing you here indefinitely,” and the internal monologue says, “even though it’s way bigger than the old house.” It’s both an entertaining mockery of the attitude of the typical American family, how first you’re your parents’ property for eighteen years and then you’re turned out on your own to face the world without their support, and how the fuck are you supposed to live like that, to figure out how to live your life in the face of that, to meaningfully be a fulfilled person in that situation, especially in a time, when, no, mom, I can’t pay a college tuition on a waitress salary like you did back in the fucking nineties, you c--t,

Even though they have an extra bed in their basement and a perfectly good couch and plenty of space for another bed besides, and a vegetable garden, and a kitchen, and all these other middle-class petty bougie niceties, the Graves mom says, “sorry, we can’t keep helping you,” and. And. I read all this, and I think,

“I understand why Ashley wants to fucking flay these people. I understand why she wants to K1!L them.”

I cannot tell you how much catharsis the ending of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley episode 2 gave me. I cannot convey the weight of my gratitude that someone out there validated my anger and my specific fucked up power fantasy with their art. I didn’t even ask them to. I probably would’ve eventually done it on my own. But I’m so glad that someone did it for me.

If I ever hypothetically meet Nemlei, somehow, and have some cash, I will happily buy them a drink. Hopefully, by paying this excellent game’s ten dollar cover price, I already have!

I know you’re not watching this, but on the off chance this reaches your ears, I just wanna say thanks. For giving me a safe, legal, regret-free, socially acceptable, non-violent outlet for the rage I feel towards my parents.

Well.

Mostly socially acceptable.

Meow.

This game is not finished, as you may have noticed if you’ve gone to check it out on Steam. It ends on an ambiguous and open note, but in my opinion, a perfectly satisfying one. Nemlei could disappear absolutely, never release the proper ending of this game, and never make another game again, and I would not be mad. I've already got more than my money’s worth and then some. So. Yeah. I’m happy. Count me as happy!

I kinda wanna start talking a bit more about the branches of the second episode. I wanna say how it’s a brilliant idea to have two separate story arcs for the two variations of this episode’s ending, and how I hope that that’s executed on as beautifully as the rest of the game already is. I wanna talk about the ways in which Andrew and Ashley’s mom is ambiguously humanized despite being so obviously terrible. I wanna talk about the dialogue Andrew does when his parents offer him a chance to make amends, and he has doubts, if you choose to let him have them, and how I would probably also have doubts in his position, and not be able to follow through without my lovely evil cannibal sister pushing me towards… the thing. I wanna talk about this line, where Ashley talks about why she likes eating people, and how it’s so equal parts poetic and macabre and edgy bullshit and that that’s such a beautifully balanced cocktail of emotion to nail and Nemlei totally fucking nails it

I WANT TO GUSH FOREVER. ABOUT THIS GAME. AND I WANT NO ONE TO STOP ME.

Alas, I will stop myself.

And move on to the elephant in the room!

THE FUCKING.

Mom: “But that-.... That doesn’t make any sense.” Mom: “Why would you not-......” Mom: “Ah, I get it.” Andrew: “..........??” Mom: “You fuck her.” Andrew: “Wha— HUUUUH?!?!!?” Mom: “Oh that is disgusting! Andrew, she’s your sister for god’s sake!” Andrew: “I haven’t done anything!? What the hell, mom!?” Mom: “Then what does she give you that makes it worth all this?” Andrew: “W-well that’s none of your business, is it??” Mom: “I knew something was off… How did I fuck up so bad? I’m the worst mother ever..!” Andrew: “No! I mean yes you are, but I have never—!” Ashley: “I’m baaaa-ack!!!” Andrew: “Now of all times!?” Ashley: “I got the money! Did you miss me, handsome?? Did you? Did you??” Mom: “...........................” Andrew: “(I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!)”

Okay. So. I said I didn’t want to talk about this. But I’m talking about this game. I can’t not talk about it.

Yep, it’s hot takes and drama time!

So, not too long ago, Nemlei deleted their Twitter, their Itch.io, their everything, their entire online presence. The Steam page for The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, which used to list Nemlei as the developer and publisher, now lists “Kit9 Studio.” It is the only game to their name on the platform. A community forum post from said entity known as Kit9 announces that “the developer” (no name given) “has decided to permanently and completely terminate their activities online from here on.”

I don’t know exactly what happened, or why they did this. There’s a lot of people around who sure think they know. But in brief, as neutrally as possible: Nemlei, or someone close to them, was doxxed, or at least sought out as a doxxing target, by one or multiple users of an online forum. Their supposed crime? Making a video game “for degenerates.”

I don’t know who did the doxxing. I don’t know what their motive was, and for my own sanity, I am not going to look. I am choosing not to care. The most important and most obvious fact at hand here is that Nemlei’s creation has been met with controversy amongst social media users, and about one or two hack video game outrage journalists, who seem to have nothing better to do or say. And it seems clear that the doxxing wouldn’t have happened had they not been met with this negative attention. And all because of this.

Not the cannibalism, not the parricide, not the demon sacrifices. No, um, the one implied sex scene.

And it doesn’t even actually happen! It’s just a premonition of a possible future event that Ashley and Andrew supernaturally receive. It’s not particularly graphic, it doesn’t yet go anywhere, and it’s a short scene on an optional route that the game actively forewarns you about. You have to be trying to see it on purpose.

Well, that’s all true. It is indeed a minor and avoidable scene, and the discourse about it has absolutely poisoned the well when it comes to the conversation about the game. But also, “uhh, it’s optional and not a big thing,” is inadequate as a defense. This is still content in the game that Nemlei actively chose to put in the game, and even discounting this, the themes of incest are all over the game. Ashley speaks flirtatiously to Andrew at basically every turn. Even if you avoid this specific scene, the incest themes are not something you’re going to just not notice, if you’re paying attention to the text.

All that being said, it’s not like this content comes as a surprise. The Coffin of Andy and Leyley’s Steam store page accurately represents the product! A brother and sister. Codependency and cannibalism. It’s not as if you don’t know what you’re paying for and choosing to play. You came here for this! Most of the people playing this are here for this! You have to figure that if they are fine with killing and eating people, they’re probably fine with fucking each other, or, eventually possibly eventually going to be, at least.

So you’d think, except that many people seem to unironically believe that the cannibalism is more moral than the incest.

Oh, god, I’m doing this right now, aren’t I.

So, I get it. While I’m pretty skeptical of the notion that cannibalism is not as bad as incest, I do realize that incest is, at the very least, the more taboo of these things, and that a lot of people are more uncomfortable with it than they are with the cannibalism and the murder. To quote the one positive and in-depth review available in any media outlet at the time of this writing, from Destructoid:

“This aspect is undoubtedly the most controversial element about The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, and I understand why. While cannibalism is a taboo subject, it’s present in mainstream games like Fallout as an option for players. Having incestuous themes crosses over into Drakengard territory, and even then, no option allows Caim to reciprocate Furiae’s feelings for him.”

"The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is horrifying and I can’t get enough of it" Andrea Gonzalez, Destructoid, November 12 2023

So, yeah, I. y’know. Get it. I know why. However.

I can point to a lot of things that Andrew and Ashley do wrong in this game. They are, as per the game’s premise, very not okay, not as individuals, and not together. Andrew is way too attached to Ashley, and Ashley is generally an awful person who is way too attached herself, and also, all too quick on the draw to take advantage of Andrew’s attachment to her to make him do what she wants. This is not a healthy relationship. And we’re here for it! It’s compelling!

But, I think it’s worth asking why it’s such a toxic dynamic. Is it because they’re siblings? Well, not really. It’s a dynamic that’s specifically possible with them being siblings, but it’s not because of their sibling connection.

The actual reason why Andrew and Ashley’s relationship turns abusive isn’t because their relationship is abusive by necessity or nature, but because Ashley abuses their relationship. And she is doing this for basically the whole game. Like, it is abusive the whole time. It doesn’t become abusive when their relationship takes its romantic turn. Does it become more abusive? I mean. Maybe. Maybe the romance exacerbates the abuse. I dunno, we’ll have to wait and see what the next episode says.

So, then, why is the notion of them possibly in the future having sex the elephant in the room here, when before that, they do so many objectively worse things that cause much more harm both to themselves and others? Is that really so much more of a bigger deal than the murder and the people eating?

Or. To phrase it Ashley’s way. You played a game about mutilating and eating your parents’ corpses, and getting laid is what you’re freaking out about?

Is the incest really that much more extreme, or are you just more disgusted with it?

And even if you are more disgusted with it. Even if we grant that it is, actually, somehow, more harmful for siblings to have sex with each other, than to do murder and cannibalism. Is this the hill you’re dying on? What you’ve decided is of such utmost importance and injustice that you decide to go harass some random indie dev who just wants to make a silly video game about a couple of siblings eating people?

Does it truly make sense to let your kneejerk moral disgust guide you to the conclusion that the creator of this game deserves to be persecuted for merely writing about and drawing a thing you don’t like?

Well, to answer that, we have to get into the question of whether or not “immoral fiction” is harmful, or “normalizing” things that are wrong. Does fictionally depicting an immoral action actually cause harm?

I could dance around in circles for a little while about the edge cases, and certain writers who are publishing bad or hateful material in bad faith, or fascist propaganda, which is of course always bad, or whatever other example I could use to qualify my point or list out an exception to appease the people who disagree with me, but, I’ll just cut right to the chase, and tell you the answer

No!

The answer is NO!

The thing about taboos is that they don’t make us more safe. They don’t protect us from bad things. All they do is protect people’s comfort by silencing people they don’t want to understand, and enable bad actors by keeping their victims in the dark, and denying them the ability to talk about it.

The only thing we end up doing by censoring stories about these uncomfortable topics, and making it socially unacceptable to talk about them, is make it harder to know. We deny ourselves knowledge. We deny ourselves a conversation about these subjects, we deny ourselves the ability to meaningfully understand them. We deny ourselves power, what little we have, as readers, to understand, and to critique, to reason.

There’s a tumblr post I really like. Well, a number of them, I really like, on this topic, but I’m picking this one, because it’s got a quote I really like. It talks about Lolita. That Lolita. And, now, I’ve never read Lolita, at least not yet. Lolita is a novel about child sexual abuse, told from the perspective of an abuser. It’s an uncomfortable book with an uncomfortable topic, and it’s not wrong to be uncomfortable with it. The author of this post acknowledges that.

But they talk about it. They talk about how it shines a light on its subject matter. The why and the how of abusers and their actions. The ways in which their victims suffer. How it shows all of this in a way that it only could from the perspective it takes. And, I’m just going to quote them. I can’t do anything else. They said it better than I could, right now.

“Embrace disgusting fiction and then fucking talk about why it’s nasty. Now YOU have the power over reality.” - tumblr user legsdemandias

The Coffin of Andy and Leyley has been ridiculed, joked about, hot taked on, made a target, drama-ed over, and so on, but it’s hardly been criticized. No one I’ve seen admitting to not liking it talks critically about why it’s disgusting to them, or tries to understand why it exists, or what it’s for. And this is most people’s reaction to most media that deals seriously with anything taboo. “I don’t get it. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t exist. Get it away from me.”

I’m annoyed that the medium, the art form, of video games, is valued so little by so many that this is the wide reaction when something like this gets popular. That the mainstream games journalism media ridicules it, and the creator gets threatened by an internet mob, and it falls on the weirdos and the freaks and the no-name YouTube uwu girls, to give it the serious consideration and recognition it deserves.

To summarize, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is, in my opinion, a very good video game, and on its behalf, I am mad at video games.

Now, go on. You made it through this video. I told you the plot! You can probably stomach the plot! So go, go. Shoo. Go buy Nemlei a drink. If you want to.

Or, buy us, the joystick system, a drink! You can do that at patreon dot com slash joycestick, or, ko-fi dot com slash joycestick. You can buy us drinks in both of those places.

I’ve been Audrey. Thank you for listening.

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#joystick system posts #audrey (of the joystick system) posts #joyce-stick #the coffin of andy and leyley #video essay #video going up public proper tomorrow morning for youtube optimization #I think

[macsimagines]

Can you headcanon the reactions of yandere kanto mikey, rindou and sanzu when their crush jokingly kisses their cheek?😏

Your favorite bunny!

🐇

I hope work isn't killing you. It's tough out here in the working world. Adulting be tough🥹

Imissedyoumyfunnylittlerabbit

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI, S/O AND SANZU BEING ASSES

Yandere!Kanto Manjiro Sano (AKA Mikey)

To you its a joke, to him it's everything. Things have been tense since Kanto was officially established. It seems like laughs were a luxury he couldn't afford.

But today you were on a roll. You'd stuck around by his side through everything and chose him over everything. Even if he was different, even if things were hard you tried so hard to bring out a smile in him.

You pulled out all of the stupid puns, even short jokes, and he finally caved and gave you a chuckle. Then you shot him this look like you would start crying, and hugged him like he would disappear if you let go.

"There's the adorable wittle Mikey!" you had laughed, even though he could tell you were just barely holding back from crying. You pecked his cheek, for comedic effect he knows.

However, this small moment solidified something in him. You weren't just someone loyal to Mikey. You were everything.

Yandere!Rindou Haitani

You were anything but ordinary. You bordered on obnoxious most days, but Rin had known you almost his whole life, and even if you never knew when to shut it you were a comfortable constant.

Rindou had been sick. He had woken up that morning feeling like absolute dog-shit and his brother had been no help. "I'm just gonna dip. Don't want to be infected with whatever nasty you got."

At least he was quiet. Maybe he could rest in piece-! "Guess who's here to nurse you back to health, shit-face!" Ya, no. He was stupid to think that YOU of all people would leave him alone.

But to his shock you kept your usual dogging to a minimum, and actually helped. You cleaned up a bit, calling him a piggy the whole time, and actually had made him some porridge. "Say aaah~ for the choo-choo, bitch."

When it was all said and done and you were going to leave, you had to at least fit one more dig at him. "Mama has to dip baby-boy. Here's a g'night kiss!" and you planted one right on his forehead.

Maybe if hadn't been so sick he would've told you to fuck right off, maybe the medicine had him too groggy to think clearly. Maybe that tugging in his chest when he felt your lips wasn't the flu...

Yandere! Sanzu Haruchiyo

Sanzu was obsessed, he was so sprung on you. He constantly would invade your personal space, and always would find an excuse to be touching you.

You on the other hand, were completely indifferent to his advances. Which only drove him more insane for you. It didn't matter what he said or did he'd always be met with ; "Ya. Sure." or "Naw. Not right now."

But he was persistent, he'd always be flirty and even if he was still his usual manic self he at least tried to be a little nicer with you. "Hey sweet-ass, finally ready to let Daddy take care of ya?" A little.

You never gave in, but one day when he was just hanging off of your shoulder and it was only you two in the room you did something that shook him to his core. "C'mon, why not a lil' kiss as a thank you for stayin' late?"

And you actually did it. Just a small peck on his cheek, barely skin to lip contact at all but it was still there. Then you hit him with the most shocking thing of the night; "No one will ever believe you."

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere manjiro sano #yandere mikey sano #yandere rindou haitani #yandere sanzu haruchiyo

[beddhead-red]

In retrospect, the collective tendency of DDLC fans to flanderize (and, oftentimes, infantilize) Sayori as genuinely stupid is rather frustrating.

I'm gonna try and stop short of this being an actual essay on her character, but I think most people are aware of the brand of flanderization I'm talking about without me elaborating on it. The thing to it is that she explicitly plays up her own airhead tendencies on purpose, partially for comedic effect in an effort to make other people laugh, partially to avoid other people worrying about her more serious problems (disguising anxiety with stupidity), and partially out of an inferiority complex.

Sayori clearly demonstrates that she's actually a very receptive and (barring some obvious issues) emotionally intelligent person. She's very effective at helping people; she showcases a great deal of understanding of the other club members during the side stories in Plus, sometimes beyond what they're even able to identify and express themselves.

I think the part of portraying her as a genuine idiot which aggravates me more than the fact that she's obviously more intelligent than she lets on is that an essential aspect of her character and why she acts the way she does is her incredibly low self-esteem. She near constantly sells herself short. She's exceedingly aware of how much of a fool she looks like, and incidentally, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The reason she has trouble taking things seriously is because she values herself so little that she doesn't think she can do anything without making things worse. She gives up on things before she even starts them, and as a result, her belief that she really is an idiot who can't do anything right which everyone else has to put up with is reinforced, which makes her feel even worse about herself.

Yet these clowns don't even portray her as being in on her own joke. Pathetic

#ddlc #doki doki literature club #ddlc sayori #just some musings #i think sayori definitely also plays up the act more because she genuinely thinks it's funny most of the time #but an essential element to it is that her inferiority complex leads to this kind of humor #which is self-deprecating even if it isn't as obvious as making jokes about how she's terrible at everything

[schnuffel-danny]

From a short conversation with @dashing-through-ecto I realized the comedic potential of combining my Friendship is Tragic AU with her Little Baby Loop AU  xD So I present to you: that one time Vlad tried to steal a cursed ghost artifact, only to accidentally turn himself into a ferret-worm-creature-thing. And, as if things couldn’t get worse, he’s discovered by Jack who, as his self-proclaimed best (and only) friend, decides to house him at the perfectly safe FentonWorks until the effect wears off...

#Danny Phantom #danny phantom fanart #vlad plasmius #jack fenton #danny fenton #jazz fenton #wow that's so many tags #friendship is tragic au #technically au of an au #I don't think THIS would be how the family gets introduced to Jack's ghostly bff #would be very funny tho

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Finally Together

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 12 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

The lights were off when you sneaked out of the bedroom, tiptoeing your way down the halls. The lights from the tv were the only thing allowing you to see the dark shadowed shapes sprawled across the couch and floor, and while you didn’t recognize the movie, the sound was loud enough to cover up the sound of your footsteps and it held the attention of everyone except Chan, who watched you from the armchair where he sat.

He flashed you a grin as you slowly moved towards the back of the couch, ducking down when something bright flashed on screen and lit up the room. From behind the couch, you heard someone shift, but nobody peeked over the couch so you assumed you were in the clear.

You stayed there for a moment, your stomach twisting in a combination of nervousness and excitement. You peeked your head back over the couch, only to find your face an inch away from the back of someone’s head, and you blinked. You turned your gaze to the side, towards the end of the couch. Jisung was leaning up against the armrest, Felix sitting on the ground below him, his head resting against Jisung’s legs. Next to Jisung was Hyunjin, and none of them were looking at you.

Safe.

Changbin, the owner of the head in front of you, was sitting next to what you thought might have been Jeongin, but you couldn’t be sure since his face was pressed against his fist. From your angle you couldn’t see the other two, but your thread told you they were on the floor in front of the couch, hidden by Changbin’s frame.

Feeling particularly mischievous, you quietly blew on Changbin’s ear, but he just tilted his head. You bit on your tongue to keep from laughing, and did it again. This time, he reached out to rub at his ear, but still didn’t look.

Chan let out a short laugh he disguised as a cough.

You rolled your eyes at him, and then decided to go a step farther. You slowly shuffled a step to the side while keeping a close eye on the people on the couch to see if they would notice the movement out of the corner of their eyes, but they were enthralled with the movie.

Hyunjin had an arm leaning against the back of the couch, so you reached over and touched his finger. He let out a smile, probably thinking it was Changbin, so you decided to reach out with your hand and slide your palm over his hand and towards his palm.

“Yah, Hyung-“

You gripped his arm tightly, and pulled.

It just so happened that the universe had the best comedic timing ever, because at the very moment you pulled Hyunjin’s arm, something banged loudly on screen, and the combined effect of the loud noise and the harsh movement caused Hyunjin to scream.

Loud.

Hyunjin yanked his arm away so hard he fell over into Jisung’s lap, which then caused the young rapper to yelp in surprise. Either Hyunjin or Jisung knocked Felix over, and he let out a noise of annoyance, but he was cut off by Hyunjin’s gasp of surprise as he spotted you, and then he was yelling again. If the others hadn’t been clued in by Hyunjin’s scream, they definitely looked when the blond dancer was throwing himself over the back of the couch and into your arms with a yell of your name.

The sound of the movie was immediately drowned out by yells of your names and confused yells from those who had yet to spot you. Hyunjin squished you against him tightly.

“When did you get here?!!!” He cried, in Korean. You were once again proud at the fact that you understood him.

Someone hugged you from behind, and you couldn’t tell who it was because the overlap of voices coupled with your face pressed in Hyunjin’s chest made it hard to tell where everyone was. A second pair of arms joined in holding you, and then another pair appeared around Hyunjin.

You didn’t expect the sudden welling up of tears as you were overwhelmed with feelings of love and relief at being surrounded by your boys.

“Shit, are they crying?”

“Yah, what did you do?!”

“I didn’t do anything!”

You let out a wet laugh, pushing your face back into Hyunjin’s shirt and shamelessly wiping your tears and snot on him.

“I’m okay,” You told them, and then you repeated it in Korean. “I’m okay.”

“They’re just happy to see you,” Chan told the others, and you lifted your head to try and catch a glimpse of him. He was standing next to the couch, watching the group with soft eyes.

You felt warm and loved. Although, a little too warm. The combined body heat of who knows how many men was making you uncomfortable, and you wiggled in their grip. Your elbow accidentally hit the side of the person behind you, and Minho let out a grunt at the impact.

You tilted your head to the side and beamed at him. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” He reassured you, and finally let you go.

While Hyunjin didn’t want to move away from you, his hold was loose enough that you wiggled out of it, to the complaint of the rest of the boys. You stood up, stretching out your legs from where you had been crouched, and Jisung pushed past Hyunjin to wrap his arms around your shoulder in another hug.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” You reassured him.

“I missed you,” He argued, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “So much. Don’t ever leave again.”

Minho sighed. “Jisung, give them some space-"

“It’s okay,” You reassured him.

You had a feeling that Jisung cared about the hug more than you cared about the extra warmth. Hyunjin seemed comfortable on the ground, staring at you with wide eyes and a wider smile, and Felix had taken to grilling Chan about your appearance.

“You could have said something!”

“Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise!”

You glanced to the other side, where Seungmin was filming you. You flipped him off, and he let out a laugh. Jeongin, still sitting on the couch behind you, gave you a beautiful smile when your eyes met. From next to Seungmin, Changbin was giving you heart eyes.

You felt shy under the combined gazes of your soulmates, gaze falling to the floor. “I’m happy to see all of you.”

Jisung squeezed you tighter. “I’m happy you’re here.”

#stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x you #skz x you #chan x reader #chan x you #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you #changbin x reader #changbin x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #minho x reader #minho x you #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #han x you #han x reader #jisung x reader #jisung x you #felix x you #felix x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x reader #in x you #in x reader #jeongin x reader #jeongin x you #stray kids fanfic #pieces of my heart

[oathkeeperoxas]

I watched and ranked every Tom Cruise movie so you don’t have to

Simple premise: 45 movies. One actor. Ranked from worst to best, on a sliding scale of -2 to 6 (scoring will make sense as you read).

Technical score is judged on how well the plot is constructed and how well the characters grow and serve their role in the narrative throughout the movie, as well as how well the narrative is written. Enjoyment score is judged on how much I liked the movie: no stars = didn’t like, 1 star = like, 2 star = really like. Bonus star is awarded at my discretion, for reasons such as costuming, soundtrack, particularly stand out acting, etc. Sexism modifier is a negative if women are treated badly, but can add an extra point if the movie gives women their rights. Overall score at the end determines where they sit in the rankings of this post, with movies having the same score in the order I liked them most.

Vanilla Sky (2001) – David Aames (Starring)

One sentence summary: A man’s reality begins to warp and he is forced to question what is real, and what isn’t.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: - 

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥💥

Review: This is a bad movie. Weird acting throughout. Nonsensical plot. Terrible treatment of the women. Definitely the worst movie Tom Cruise has starred in!

_

Tropic Thunder (2008) – Les Grossman (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Five actors who are filming a war movie are dropped into a real war zone completely unaware, and must use their wits to escape back to their movie set.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: LOTS of choices made in this movie! Very few of them good! Why was RDJ in blackface? Was I supposed to find this entertaining? Was any of this necessary? Doubtful. Jack Black and Jay Baruchel had great comedic presences, and honestly the acting and casting was spot on for what the movie wanted, which is why I gave it one technical star.

_

Endless Love (1981) – Billy (Cameo)

One sentence summary: A teenage romance goes wrong when a boyfriend burns down his girlfriend’s house in an attempt to win the approval of her parents.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: They made movies differently in the 80s, I think. The plot is insane, the main characters unrelatable – or maybe I’m just too long out of high school. In any case, this was Tom Cruise’s debut film, and he did it in booty shorts while advising his friend to pretend to set his girlfriend’s house on fire, leading to him actually setting his girlfriend’s house on fire, and it was the best part of this movie. What a way to start a career.

_

The Mummy (2017) – Sgt. Nick Morton (Starring)

One sentence summary: After disrupting a tomb, Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) must defeat The Mummy.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: Yeah… there’s a reason this movie is a meme. Cruise’s acting feels weak, the plot is verging on nonsensical, and the special effects made me laugh. A rare miss in Cruise’s later years of acting!

_

Mission: Impossible 2 (2002) – Ethan Hunt (Starring)

One sentence summary: Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must stop a plague by teaming up with a thief who knows the man who intends to kick off the disaster.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: - 

Movie: ⭐

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: One star is discretionarily awarded because it’s set in Sydney and I recognise a lot of the locations they filmed in. Though I have no clue how Luther was getting internet connection on a sheep farm out somewhere in western NSW. Did they have satellite internet in 2002?

_

Eyes Wide Shut (1999) – Dr. William Harford (Starring)

One sentence summary: After his wife confesses to fantasising about cheating on him, Dr William Harford (Tom Cruise) toys with the idea of actually cheating on her, and has an insane night out in the process.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: 💥

Review: Well SOMETHING happened in this movie. Hot tip, do not go into this one blind on Saturday movie night with your family in attendance. I think, personally, that Dr Hartford could have just sat down with his wife and asked her if she wanted to get into roleplay instead of doing all that. Also, did we really need to see Nicole Kidman pissing? I just really think that wasn’t necessary.

_

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) – Himself as Austin Powers (Cameo)

One sentence summary: Austin Powers must stop Dr. Evil from world domination by travelling back in time to 1975.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: - 

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: This is some blend of satire and crack, and I’m not really enjoying the flavour. Tom Cruise’s cameo is pretty funny, though.

_

War of the Worlds (2005) – Ray Ferrier (Starring)

One sentence summary: When aliens land and start destroying Earth, Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise) must do all he can to keep his family alive.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: Well… this exists, I guess. Some of these old sci fi novels should not be made into movies. They were not meant for the big screen. Not even Tom Cruise can save this one.

_

All the Right Moves (1983) – Stefen Djordjevic (Starring)

One sentence summary: After a disagreement with a teacher, Stefen (Tom Cruise) thinks that he might never get to college and never leave his hometown.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: This sure exists. Very unmemorable, even while I was watching it. Generic in music, plot, character, and romance. Anticlimactic ending too!

_

The Color of Money (1986) – Vincent Lauria (Starring)

One sentence summary: Vincent Lauria (Tom Cruise) tries to make money by playing pool, but is too good at it for the betting scheme his mentor attempts to set up in order to get rich.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: 💥

Review: I will admit I found this movie fairly uninteresting, though I enjoyed Tom Cruise’s wild haircut. Nothing but respect for Vincent’s “Vince” shirt, however.

_

Days of Thunder (1990) – Cole Trickle (Starring)

One sentence summary: A street racer is pulled onto the Nascar track, where his attitude gets him into trouble with his team, other drivers, and the woman he’s interested in.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: Two sexism bangs for Nicole Kidman’s ‘romance’ scenes (girl why did you come back to do more movies with this man). The car racing is pretty cool though. I am partial to a good car race, I must admit.

_

Interview with the Vampire (1994) – Lestat de Lioncourt (Supporting)

One sentence summary: A vampire sits down with a reporter to tell the story of his life: one that starts with how he was turned into the vampire, and continues to the present day.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: Lots of stuff going on in this movie. However, mostly I agree with the well known review that spawned a thousand memes: “Not gay enough.”

_

The Outsiders (1983) – Steve Randle  (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Two friends are caught up in the complicated politics between the “Socs” and “greasers” gangs; when one friend accidentally kills a rival, they go on the run from the police before returning home to face court, their family, and the opposing gang.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: Patrick Swayze is kinda carrying this movie honestly. Though Tom Cruise’s denim on denim, wild accent, cake-stuffed-in-face beat ‘em up sure is a performance too. You can tell this is an old movie by how affectionate the boys were allowed to be with each other. Absolutely none of that around nowadays.

_

Mission: Impossible (1996) – Ethan Hunt (Starring)

One sentence summary: When his team of Impossible Mission Force agents are killed, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must track down the person responsible. 

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐ 

Review: While there are many (many, many, many) liberties taken with reality in order for this movie to be made, it is iconic for a reason. That being said, the wild subplot of Ethan’s tutor trying to set Ethan up with his wife sure was something! Bonus points for starting such an iconic franchise and, of course, the spy movie scene of dropping from the ceiling and barely not hitting the floor.

_

Magnolia (1999) – Frank T.J. Mackey (Supporting)

One sentence summary: I don’t know how to summarise this movie. Taking suggestions from the audience.

Technical: ⭐⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐

Review: I don’t know how to review this movie. Was NOT expecting the frogs, that came out of left field to be sure. I think Kubrick’s vision passed me over. Anyway, two sexism bangs for having Tom Cruise invent the incel motivational speaker 😭

_

Born on the Fourth of July (1989) – Ron Kovic (Starring)

One sentence summary: Ron Kovic (Tom Cruise) signs up to the Army, fights in the war, and deals with the repercussions when he comes home.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: This movie suffers from the same problem that all movies which are ‘true stories’ have, which is that life rarely neatly fits into a narrative structure, but it manages fairly well anyway. Bonus points given for the BTS trivia that apparently Cruise asked to be injected with some drug that would temporarily paralyse him so he could experience what it was like to improve his acting??? Cruise’s insurance company wisely refused to let him do this.

_

Minority Report (2002) – John Anderton (Starring)

One sentence summary: In a future where murderers are arrested before they commit their crime, Chief John Anderton (Tom Cruise) is predicted to kill a man he’s never met – and must escape his own police force in order to prove his innocence.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: I had to watch this about 10 times in high school so I was hesitant to come back to it now, but it’s an okay watch when I’m not discussing its contribution to dystopian literature.

_

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (2023) – Ethan Hunt (Starring)

One sentence summary: On the hunt for the two parts of a key which will allow him to control a new AI threat, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) must sacrifice in order to save the world.

Technical: -

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: ⭐

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: Media very rarely gets plots around AI right, and this one unfortunately misses the mark. It asks no new or interesting questions about how AI is being used or will be used in our modern world, and seems to take a detour from previous Mission Impossible films in terms of tone and consistency of plot. However, Haley Atwell slaps absolute ass, and there are genuinely funny and enjoyable scenes scattered at random throughout the movie, so it definitely could be worse.

_

Legend (1985) – Jack (Starring)

One sentence summary: After a princess plunges her kingdom into endless winter, she must reverse the curse to save the land.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: -

Bonus: -

Sexism: ⭐

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: A win for diversity! The princess almost ends the world, and also is allowed to save it! Special effects were pretty decent for the mid-80s, even if the plot was a bit basic. Seeing Tom Cruise go all Tarzan and also have a sword was very good, however.

_

Oblivion (2013) – Jack Harper (Starring)

One sentence summary: Jack Harper’s (Tom Cruise) mission in life is to protect the last of humanity – or so he thinks.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: Morgan Freeman steals the show here. I enjoyed the plot twist both at the middle and the end of the movie, and the ending scene wrapped everything up emotionally. 

_

American Made (2017) – Barry Seal (Starring)

One sentence summary: Barry Seal (Tom Cruise) works triple time for big money while dodging the law, taking aerial photos for the CIA, smuggling cocaine into the USA for the Medellín Cartel, and delivering guns to the Nicaraguan Contras based in Honduras.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: A movie that’s “based on a true story” and which does it right. The informational sections were balanced neatly with the character development and exploration of what this amount of money might do to a family. 

_

Rock of Ages (2012) – Stacee Jaxx (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Two burgeoning singers meet at a rock bar, which needs to put on a hell of a show in order to avoid closing down.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall:  ⭐⭐

Review: Extra points for the killer soundtrack. Otherwise, this movie is fairly unmemorable. Tom Cruise’s hairstyle sure was a choice though!

_

Taps (1983) – Capt. David Shawn (Supporting)

One sentence summary: When the students of a military boarding school hear that their school is to be shut down, they stage a protest that rapidly spirals out of hand.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: It’s hard to have sexism in a movie where there are literally no women, so this one is getting a default 💥. Other than the fact that women don’t exist, this was a pretty good movie, with the extra star granted for the depth of character portrayed, Tom Cruise’s buzzcut, and the acting of all the younger kids on set. 

_

Rain Man (1988) – Charlie Babbitt (Starring)

One sentence summary: After his father dies, Charlie Babbitt (Tom Cruise) discovers he has a brother after he inherits everything in his father’s will. 

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐ 

Review: I really liked how this movie showed that despite how money-hungry Charlie Babbitt originally appears, he goes through an entire journey where he realises how important family is – no matter what form that takes. To see a main male character reflect and regret on his poor relationship with his father and also express the ups and downs of other emotions throughout this movie is refreshing, and Tom Cruise does an excellent job at portraying the journey taken. While it’s obvious he prefers action movies, I actually think Cruise’s true strength is in the dramas he does.

_

Top Gun (1986) – Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell (Starring)

One sentence summary: Pete Mitchell (Tom Cruise) attempts to prove that he’s the best Naval Aviator by winning the Top Gun trophy, and also by winning the heart of his teacher too.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥💥

Overall: ⭐⭐

Review: Wow. There’s a LOT going on here. It’s impossible to discuss Top Gun without mentioning the blistering sexism that pervades this movie, but since it’s about the Navy in the 80s, no one should be surprised it’s there. However, it also manages to be one of the gayest movies of the decade. Contains multitudes! Bonus points for Val Kilmer’s amazing performance and the insane homoerotic tension that is as inextricable from this movie as the sexism is.

_

Valkyrie (2008) – Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg (Starring)

One sentence summary: Before D-Day, a plot to kill Hilter from within the German government unfolds.

Technical: ⭐⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: 💥

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: Full of tension and drama, this is a ‘based on a true story’ movie that’s done right (probably because liberties were no doubt taken). A different type of WWII movie, I definitely liked this one. Bonus star for the set and costuming, which were truly excellent.

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Lions for Lambs (2007) – Senator Jasper Irving (Supporting)

One sentence summary: Over 90 minutes in real time, 2 marines defend a position in Afghanistan, a Senator is interviewed on a new military strategy, and a college student decides if he’s going to commit to his classes or not.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: I’m not American, and it’s not 2007 anymore, but this still hit really hard. Excellent use of the real time narrative to drive the story home deliver the message to the audience.

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Cocktail (1988) – Brian Flanagan (Starring)

One sentence summary: While attending university, Brian Flanagan finds work as a bartender to pay the bills before he finds the way he’s going to get rich – and finds friendship and love along the way.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: This soundtrack slaps, it’s a cute romcom, and there are cool bartending tricks scattered throughout. It also deals with some more serious topics, but these add to the depth of character and the main relationship to bring extra flavour to the movie.

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Losin' It (1983) – Woody (Starring)

One sentence summary: Four friends travel to Mexico in order to party hard and lose their virginity.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐⭐

Bonus: -

Sexism: -

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐

Review: The second half of the movie is far better than the first, with a spiralling series of events that had me laughing at every new development. Tom Cruise playing the straight laced kid was a genius decision, and I can see why he repeated this type of role a few times in future movies. 

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Far and Away (1992) – Joseph Donelly (Starring)

One sentence summary: Irishman Joseph Donelly (Tom Cruise) joins forces with Shannon Christie (Nicole Kidman) to cross the sea to America, where they aspire to travel to Oklahoma in order to start a new life, where land is being given away for free.

Technical: ⭐

Enjoyment: ⭐

Bonus: ⭐

Sexism: ⭐

Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Review: Very much the best of the movies that Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise collaborated on, I did enjoy this one from start to finish. The costumes are great, but the bonus points go to how bloody and beat up Tom Cruise consistently is in this movie. Yes, go and get back into that fighting ring again. It’s good for my health.

(continued in the next reblog because tumblr will only let me add 30 images per post)

#tom cruise #movies #reviews #Endless Love #Taps #The Outsiders #Losin' It #Risky Business #All the Right Moves #Legend #Top Gun #The Color of Money #Cocktail #Rain Man #Born on the Fourth of July #Days of Thunder #Far and Away #A Few Good Men #The Firm #Interview with the Vampire #Mission: Impossible #Jerry Maguire #Eyes Wide Shut #Magnolia #Mission: Impossible 2 #Vanilla Sky #Minority Report #Austin Powers in Goldmember #The Last Samurai #Collateral

[charlotte-family-apologist]

Some Takahashi family (Kenshi, Suchin, and Takeda) headcanons because they are genuinely haunting me

Takeda actually has the worst resting bitch face out of the kombat kids (it's a combination of Kenshi's and Suchin's aka horrifying). He constantly raises his eyebrows (same thing Suchin did) to soften it. Sometimes he relaxes his face and freaks everyone out. Likes to do it for comedic effect.

Because of her paranoia Suchin never kept pictures of herself or people she cared about as to “not leave a trail”. Every time Takeda would come home with school photos they made a tradition of burning them (only photos, she kept his drawings and stuff 😭).

All three of them snore, badly.

Suchin and Kenshi both sent what they thought were obvious signals of attraction but they went over each others heads because their methods were so different.

When Kenshi started talking to Takeda after mkx he was shocked to hear how much Suchin toned down her personality, because the Suchin he knew was the definition of loud, crude, and energetic (calm when need be but not to the extent Takeda described).

Then Takeda mentioned the times she slipped up and Kenshi had that “there she is” moment.

Takeda, without realizing it, internalized a lot of Suchin’s traits. Granted he’s more polite than she ever was but all those paranoid habits Suchin taught him never really left.

Suchin’s favorite song is “Short Dick Man” by Gillette. She infected Kenshi’s music taste with hers.

People constantly compare Takeda to Kenshi but every time Kenshi is around him he sees no one but Suchin in him. The way he rambles, the jokes he makes, the way he’s constantly gaging possible dangers, the list goes on. Sento doesn’t allow him to make out the features of his face, but he knows he looks like her too.

Kenshi is really clingy. Never in public but behind closed doors he’s practically hanging off Suchin, cuddling her, holding her hand, hugging her, talking to her, or just straight up watching her in silence.

More on that- if Kenshi actually got to raise Takeda he’d be one of those parents that picked up their kid whenever they cried and Takeda (who is already clingy) weaponized the shit out of it at the ripe age of infant.

I also think that if Kenshi raised Takeda, Jax would be less apprehensive about letting him date Jacqui. But if Suchin was still in the mix he’d be more apprehensive because Hanzo at least had some restraint when raising him, Suchin would encourage him. (“If I were you I’d kill that guy, he deserves it.” “Suchin.” “Not now Kenshi- I’m spreading wisdom.”)

#I love these stupid stupid idiots #I’m literally fixating on them it’s bad #I’m drafting up character bios for these three in my au #takeda takahashi #suchin #kenshi takahashi #kensuchin #kenshi x suchin #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x #mkx #mortal kombat headcanons

[comradekatara]

sokka's real character development was him going from wanting to eat momo for dinner to being willing to jump into appa's mouth to save momo

but seriously, you have the best takes in the atla fandom. so many ppl don't take into account the effect of a hundred years of colonialism, attempted genocide and imperialism on characters, beliefs, cultures etc.

haha yes sokka is totally that grumpy dad (although in his case, more like a teenage grandpa) who’s like “if you’re gonna keep this pet you have to be the one to take care of him he’s your responsibility so you won’t see me taking care of him for you okay” and then almost immediately bonding with momo on a deep spiritual level. like seriously, sokka and momo are such an underrated duo. i know it’s easy to think of momo as aang’s pet bc aang finds him, names him, and he’s from aang’s temple, and like, to that extent, momo is obviously aang’s, but i do think that momo is equally sokka’s. they co-parent him.

although i will say i’ve always felt like the “get out of the bisons mouth” moment isn’t really sokka genuinely fearing for momo, he just has a lot of pent up stress in that moment and misplaces his manic energy. when he’s stressed about something not in his control he tends to get really frenetic and loud and dramatic for a short burst, just as a way of releasing all that energy i guess. i suppose this habit makes for funny moments, but if you trace the pattern it’s not just a comedic device (although it is of course that), it’s actually a consistent trait of his character as he responds to overwhelming stress. which is pretty cool i think.

and thank you! i think everyone comes to this show with a different perspective and different analytical lenses, and at the end of the day, it is a cartoon that most of us watched as children (although i do have a sizable number of friends who watched it for the first time as adults and absolutely loved it), so i can’t really fault people for being reductive in their interpretations, although as someone who has spent so long dissecting the show, i do think i have earned the right to find it annoying. i will say that i think the baseline framing one needs to understand atla is an understanding of us imperialism, and specifically the war on terror/iraq invasion. i think that distance from that time has allowed newer audiences to forget crucial context in which this show is situated.

obviously reading some postcolonial theory and feminist theory (and im certainly not going to claim i’m an expert in either) would probably also help a lot of people better contextualize their readings, but i have also seen analyses from people who clearly are familiar with the cultural contexts informing atla, and who nonetheless produce rancid takes. criticism is obviously subjective. and while it’s always nice to hear that someone likes my perspective, i am well-aware that many people hate what i have to say on atla for whatever reason. for some reason, this show breeds many divisive arguments, but i think that’s just a testament to how deeply it has touched people’s lives, that they care enough to send each other death threats over which boy katara should kiss or whatever. lol

#twitterpat #asks #also ‘attempted genocide’ ? #seemed like pretty effective genocides to me! #sokka #<- love to overanalyze this guy . the bitch #momo&sokka #aang&sokka #aang&momo