Blackbird
Daniel Ricciardo x reader
Masterlist
Summary: Youâre a bartender at a mountain lodge. When Danny shows up, youâre determined to keep your distance. It doesnât really go to plan.
a/n: definitely inspired by this moodboard I made for the lovely @shootingstar-scuderia for my 1k celebration!
Word Count: 10.1k
Warnings: alcohol, mild sexual content
People come and go at the lodge, but they donât stay for long. That is, except for you and your coworkers. Theyâre the only consistent people in your life. The customers, the guests- they pass through like ships in the night. They tell their stories, share their adventures, and then move on. Itâs half the fun, really.
You shouldâve known heâd be different from the very start. Most of them come in, sit down at the bar, and are eager to tell you all about themselves. They want to impress you, want to prove that theyâre the biggest adventurer in the whole place. And sure, the road to the lodge is rough and steep and half the time itâs washed out. But most of them arrive in vehicles driven by guides, and they tote their expensive luggage through the lobby, decked out in brand new hiking gear bought special for this trip. When he shows up at the bar, heâs in a threadbare t-shirt, a pair of loose shorts, and a worn down pair of hiking boots.
Heâs flanked by friends, ones who have genuine smiles on their faces and are dressed much the same. He seems to be the ringleader. The first thing you really notice about him are the tattoos scattered up and down his arms. He rests his elbows on the bar, looks utterly at home there. You wander down to take their order.
âIâll have whatever beer youâd recommend,â he says, Australian accent shining through.
You get a lot of people with accents in the bar. They come from all over. Youâre not surprised at the accent, though you mightâve guessed he was American from looking at him. You nod and pour him a glass of your current favorite before taking his friendâs orders and doing the same. He takes a sip and sends you a wide grin, one that seems genuine. People smile at you a lot, trying to get a discount on their drinks or look good in front of their friends or sometimes, more than that. But this just seems⊠real. Like he always smiles that brightly.
âThatâs good,â he says, nodding eagerly. âA woman after my own tastes.â
You laugh and nod. âYouâve got good taste, then.â
He preens over that, runs his hand through his hair. Then he sticks the other one out to you, over the bar. âIâm Danny.â
You shake his hand, the way you do each time someone introduces themself to you. You try and commit his name to memory, because heâll likely be back a few times before he leaves the lodge and they always tip better if you remember their names. He repeats your name back to you, like itâs not written plain as day in your nametag, like he actually cares.
He tilts his head towards you. âSo. Howâd you end up here?â He asks.
You raise a brow at him. âNormally Iâm the one asking that question.â
He laughs. He folds his hands on each other and rests his chin on them.
âExactly. You must hear about a billion of the same stories, rich people on their vacations, roughing it in the woods,â he laments. âSo come on. Whatâs your story?â
Youâre not sure why you tell him. Looking back, in the interest of self preservation, you probably shouldâve lied. But at this angle, heâs staring up at you through thick, dark eyelashes. He has the prettiest smile youâve seen in months, maybe years, maybe ever. So you look down the bar, make sure nobodyâs waiting on you. Danny and his friends are early, so you donât have much to worry about.
You shrug. âGraduated high school. Decided college wasnât for me.â You pick up a rag, rub at a spot on the bar just to look busy, just to avoid looking right into his eyes. âIâve been on the move ever since. I landed here about a year ago- cheap room and board, good tips, and,â you jerk your thumb towards the large picture windows looking out over the valley and mountains. âThe viewâs not so bad.â
Danny laughs at that, and his gaze flickers to the windows. The sun is just barely beginning to set. Soon the tourists will pour into the bar and restaurant, hungry and thirsty from their days full of adventures. But right now itâs quiet. The calm before the storm.
âNice,â he says. âBet youâve got a lot of cool stories.â
You shrug, though you smile a bit at the thought. âYeah. Hasnât been a bad life, you know?â
He nods. Someone sits down at the bar, and you head down to take their order. Soon enough, youâre too busy to stop and chat with Danny, having to limit it to quick drink requests and offhanded remarks. You swear you feel his eyes on your the whole night. He closes out the tab a little before 9:00, pays for everyone and leaves a big tip. For a second, you remember that heâs probably just some big wig exec from some tech company, cosplaying as an outdoorsy man for the weekend. And thatâs fine, youâll support it as long as heâs nice to you.
He tosses a grin over his shoulder as he leaves, and sends a little wave your way. You swear he winks. And really, it was that moment that you shouldâve known that Danny was going to be a problem for you.
âŠ..
The employee cabins are in a secluded spot on the property, but you prefer to have your morning coffee on the back porch of the main lodge. Itâs got the best view, the coffee is free, and at this hour, thereâs nobody else up. Nobody, that is, except the man from the bar the night before. Danny, you remember. Huh. Usually it takes longer for the name to stick.
You watch over the edge of your book as he comes jogging up the path. Heâs shirtless, skin glistening with sweat. Itâs early morning, the sun barely poking up over the horizon, and itâs not that warm yet. Either heâs been working hard or heâs out of shape. From the glimpse you catch, you decide heâs definitely not out of shape. You force your eyes back to the book as he makes his way towards you. You wonât be caught staring at the shirtless guest. That would be a bad idea.
Said shirtless guest walks right up to you, though, and sticks his finger into the spine of the book, tugging it downward. You quirk a brow and look up at him. The audacity to interrupt your reading- youâre not sure how to even react. Your face betrays you as a smile crosses your lips.
âGood book?â He asks, nudging the cover.
You shrug. âItâs okay. Iâve read almost everything good in the library here.â
Danny wrinkles his nose. âYou said you didnât like⊠you know. Academic stuff.â
âI said college wasnât for me,â you clarify. âI like reading.â
He nods in understanding, that signature smile on his lips. âSo whatâs this one about?â
You blink up at him. âDragons.â
âSounds fun.â He looks to your cup of coffee, sitting on the table in front of you. âSâthe coffee any good?â
You nod. He takes a couple steps towards the building. âCan I sit with you? None of my friends are up yet.â
âWell it is 6am, and youâre on vacation. Canât say I blame them.â You say, dancing around the question.
Itâs not that you donât want to talk to him. In fact, you have a strong urge to lean close and learn everything about this man. But heâs a guest and youâre an employee. They encourage you to be friendly with the guests- it helps them feel at home, your manager says- but not too friendly. Besides, Danny will be gone in a few days, and heâll forget all about you the week after. Itâs how it goes.
But he turns and raises his brows at you, and you sigh and nod. âYeah, you can join me. But I want to read, soâŠâ
âIâll be so quiet,â Danny promises.
He scurries off to get coffee. You let out a long breath and pick the book back up. Youâre definitely going to regret this decision. Danny doesnât seem like the quiet type.
In his defense, he manages to stay quiet for about ten minutes. He sits down in one of the chairs next to yours, leaning back and sipping his coffee. From the angle, you can peek up over the edge of your book and sneak glances at him. He has his eyes closed, or at least close to it. Heâs still shirtless, though you can see the t-shirt he mustâve been wearing hanging from the waistband of his shorts. Youâre not looking at him, really- just trying to tell if heâs looking at you.
Then he starts to fidget. First he crosses his legs, then uncrosses them. He stretches his arms above his head, fingertips spread wide. Then he slouches in his chair and lets out a heavy sigh. You meet his eyes over the top of your book.
He raises his eyebrows. âWhat are you doing up so early, anyways?â
You should be irritated. This is your quiet morning- heâs interrupting your personal time. You come out here to drink coffee and read and listen to the birds, not some rich man trying to talk your ear off. But. Heâs so genuine about it. Like he actually wants to know. Be friendly to the guests, you think.
âIâm a morning person,â you tell him, resting your book on your lap. âAnd I love it here before everyone wakes up for the day, you know? Like itâs just me and the world.â
He nods in understanding. He props one foot up on the chair, bends his knee close to his chest. His shorts slide up to reveal a whole mess of tattoos on his thigh. You tell yourself not to stare.
âThatâs how coming here feels for me,â he says, softly. âNice to be away from people for a bit.â
Youâre starting to wonder if maybe heâs different.
âLike a breath of fresh air,â you suggest. âBut for your mind and heart, too.â You pause and roll your eyes at yourself. âSorry, thatâs a bit hippy of me to say, but-â
âNo, I agree,â he says, softly.
Someone opens the door to the lodge and calls out his name. You swear his face drops. He turns over his shoulder and nods, and then pushes himself to stand up.
âWell. See ya âround,â he says, voice soft.
You nod and pick up your book again. âSee ya.â
âŠ..
You get to know him, bit by dangerously intriguing bit. He works for Red Bull, apparently. Doesnât give many details past that, so you assume itâs boring. He does know Scotty James-
âThere was a guy who came here last winter, a snowboarder, he had a Red Bull helmet-â you say, snapping your fingers. âScotty something, wasnât it, Will?â
Will, your coworker, is cleaning glasses at the bar. He raises his brows at you, and his gaze flickers to Danny, and then he says âScotty James.â
You nod and turn back to Danny. âYou know him?â
Danny laughs. âI was in his wedding.â
Danny also has a ranch in Australia where he rides dirt bikes in what he refers to as the âoff seasonâ, whatever thatâs supposed to mean. He shows you a video, and honestly, youâre not one for adrenaline but it looks pretty fun. You suggest they talk to your boss about taking the ATVs out on the trails, and he perks up at the sound of that.
Danny tells you about his family, too. About his parents, his sister, his nephew and niece.
âMâtrying to teach them good music,â he tells you on the back porch one morning. âNone of that little kid shit.â
You laugh. âNone of the educational shit, you mean.â
âMusicâs not for your brain,â he scoffs. âItâs for your soul.â
âThereâs at least 100 scientists who would definitely disagree,â you tease.
You agree with him more than youâll ever let on.
When he walks into the bar one evening and you have his drink already waiting for him, you start to wonder if youâve grown a bit too attached.
âŠ..
Your boss, Michael, calls you up to the main lodge early the next day. Heâs bent over the front desk, crossing off names and writing new ones down. He looks up at you with wide eyes, brows furrowed.
âHey. I know youâre not up on the rotation yet, but dâyou think you could cover an overnight camping trip?â He asks. âSadieâs out sick, and Billyâs got a family emergency.â
Though your main job is in the bar, all of the staff take turns taking guests on overnight trips in the mountains near the lodge. You hike out with them, help set up all the gear, start the fire, and then help pack up the next morning and hike back. Depending on the group, it can be fun. When theyâre not too high maintenance, you can sit around the fire and tell fun stories and get paid to do it. Other trips, you end up setting up all the tents and doing all the work and then you get ignored for most of the night.
âItâd be you and Will,â your boss adds.
Willâs one of your favorite coworkers. The two of you get along great. Michael knows this, and you wonder for a moment if heâs already talked to Will, or if youâll be a bribe to get him to agree, too. You lean over the counter and sigh.
âAre they gonna be annoying?â You ask. âLike. Are they the type whoâre wearing the brand new gear, or no gear at all, or are they somewhat okay?â
He juts his chin towards the back porch, and you follow his gaze. Dannyâs out there, throwing a football back and forth with one of his buddies. You quirk a brow and turn back to Michael.
âHe didnât ask for me, did he?â You ask quietly.
Michaelâs brows furrow. âNo. Is he making you uncomfortable? You know you can tell me-â
âNo,â you insist, shaking your head. âHeâs nice. Just, you know, checking.â
Michael nods. âSo? What dâyou say? Youâd leave tomorrow, come back the next morning. Quick out and back.â
You shrug and nod. âGot nothing better to do.â
The guys are missing from the bar that night. You see them come in later, arms around each other, probably just back from some sort of expedition. One of them- Blake, you think his name is- is trying to corral all of them, reminding them of their big hike the next day. They disappear into the elevator. Just before the door closes, Danny looks straight at you and gives you a wide grin.
When you meet them in the lobby the next morning, his grin stretches even wider.
âNo way,â he says, eyeing your hiking backpack and the boots on your feet. âNot only are you the best bartender, you also do guided hikes?â
You nod and smile. âOnly one at a time, though. Unfortunately Iâm not very good at making drinks in the backcountry.â
Danny shrugs. âWeâll survive.â
You clap your hands and look around at the group. âAlright, campers, you ready to hike?â
They all nod and chime in with various agreements, so you pick up your bags and head for the doors. Danny falls into step next to you near the front, while Will takes up the back of the pack. You run through your usual spiel that you do when you lead a hike, and then youâre off.
Itâs peaceful for a few minutes. Like the guys are all trying to act like good naturalists, like theyâre trying to soak it all in. And then Danny trips over a rock, and someone teases him for it, and itâs all downhill from there. Itâs entertaining, really- the way they pick on each other. You can tell theyâre genuinely friends.
You take a break for lunch at a perfect spot overlooking a valley. Danny whistles lowly when he sees the view, and he elbows you lightly.
âYou take all the guys to this spot?â He jokes, wiggling his brows at you.
You roll your eyes and elbow him back. âJust the ones who are stupid enough to follow me deep into the woods.â
That earns you a full bellied laugh, one that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges. Youâre struck again by how genuine he is, how his walls are down or maybe even nonexistent. It makes your chest ache.
You eat lunch together, and you point out the mountains by name from the little overlook. Theyâre all great at playing along. They ask how the peaks got their names, which one is your favorite, if youâve ever made it to the top of any of them.
âThat one,â you say, pointing at one of the smaller peaks. âMount Mirlo.â
âMirlo?â Danny asks, testing out the word.
You nod. âI think it means⊠blackbird? Yeah. In Spanish.â You nod your head towards the mountain. âAnyways. They drag everyone up there the week they first get hired. Itâs a hazing thing.â
âItâs not hazing if itâs fun,â Will chimes in, and Danny laughs. âAdmit it. You had a good time.â
âI got bit by so many mosquitos and very sunburned,â you deadpan. Then you grin. âBut yeah, it was sick.â
You set back off on the hike after lunch. Eventually, you come to a log bridge over a river. Danny peers over the edge as you wait on the other side, brows raised. Thereâs a little spot where the water pools there.
âLooks like a good spot to jump in.â
You laugh and wrinkle your nose. âThat river is absolutely frigid. Itâd be like an ice bath.â
He shrugs and grins at you. âJust saying.â
The camping spot isnât far from the bridge. Once you arrive, you begin to unpack the tents to get them set up, while Will starts getting things ready for the fire. You unroll the tents, lay out the poles, and then-
Dannyâs next to you, hands on his hips. âHow can we help?â
You blink up at him from where youâre crouched near the ground. âOh, you donât have to⊠usually we do the set up.â
He scoffs and shakes his head. âWe came here to go camping,â he says. âTell me what to do.â
They all get started setting up the tents, and youâre amazed at how much quicker things go when there are more people actually doing work. The camp is set up in record time, and someone helps Will gather firewood. Danny insists on helping to make dinner, too, and soon everyoneâs sitting around the warm fire and eating happily.
âNo food in the tents,â you warn, looking around the group at all of them. âIt goes in the bear box. You donât want a bear to come looking for breakfast in your tent.â
Danny nods in agreement with wide eyes. As everyone finishes dinner, they start chatting. You sit down on the dirt and stretch out backwards, staring up at the purple hues sky. The sun is setting, and when you lay down fully on the ground, your back aches. Danny, whoâs sitting next to you, lays down too and lets out a long groan. You laugh.
Thereâs something about the proximity that has your heart racing. His hand is next to your on the ground. If you reached out just a little you could touch his warm skin. Nobody would even notice.
A bird lands in the tree. You pull your hand away to point at it instead.
âBlackbird,â you say, and Danny nods.
âMirlo, right?â He says. You nod in response.
The bird starts singing. You mimic the sound by whistling, albeit not very well. You drop your hand back to the ground next to you as you do, and Danny laughs affectionately, attempting to whistle too. You swear you feel his pinky touch yours, and your whistling falters.
Will pulls out the marshmallows soon after. Everyone gets excited over that. You all wander around to find good sticks to roast them with, and then meet back at the fire. You watch in absolute horror as Danny takes his marshmallow and sticks it directly into the flames. It lights on fire mere seconds later, and by the time he pulls it out with a panicked noise and blows on it frantically, itâs charred and black. He gives you a sheepish look. You sigh.
âYouâre so bad at this,â you say, shaking your head.
He nods in agreement. âAlways have been.â
His friends try to give him instructions, but itâs no use. By the time heâs on his third burnt marshmallow, everyone else is on their second sâmore. You take pity on him- before he can char another one, you take the stick from him and roast it for him. You stare in concentration, finding just the right spot and turning it carefully until itâs roasted perfectly golden brown. Will helps you assemble the sâmore, and you hand it to Danny with a soft smile.
âHere,â you say, quietly.
He takes a bite, then lets out a soft moan that has you heating up in a way you shouldnât be. âThatâs amazing,â he says. Thereâs melted chocolate stuck to the corner of his mouth, and your fingers itch to wipe it away for him. âI crown you queen of sâmores.â
You curtsy, nodding your head at him. He laughs and nearly drops the treat. You spot the issue before he does, and your fingers bump clumsily against his as you try to assist him. His hands are warm, and probably sticky from the marshmallows. You donât let your touch linger long enough to find out.
Eventually, everyone heads off to bed one by one. Will gives you a questioning look when itâs just the two of you and Danny left up. One of the guides always stays up until all the guests go to bed- itâs a safety thing. You nod to Will, and he stands and stretches and heads for bed. The two do you are sitting on a sideways log next to the fire, and once Will goes into his tent, itâs just the two of you, the flames, and the dark expanse of night.
âSpooky,â Danny says quietly.
You nod. âYou get used to it, after a while. The dark gets a little less scary. The quiet, too. When I first got here, the quiet was soâŠâ
âLoud?â He says.
You laugh, but heâs right. âYeah. Loud.â
He nods in understanding. âIt still feels like that for me. My day to day life is so noisy, you know? The quiet is a little overwhelming.â
You nod and nudge his shoulder. âThatâs gotta be good for you, though. Healthy, I think, to take a break from the noise.â
His shoulders drop, and he leans against you, just barely. âYouâve got no idea, little mirlo.â
You laugh and lean into him, too. Heâs warm and firm against you. You could reach out, could touch him, could tuck yourself right into his side. Heâd probably wrap his arm around you, probably pull you close. You bet he smells good, like sweat and smoke and laundry detergent, and maybe vanilla, or something spiced and warm, orâŠ
His pinky bumps against yours on the log. You sick in a breath and look up at him. Thereâs a question in his gaze, one that has you nearly choking on thin air before he even asks it out loud.
âCan I kiss you?â He asks, nearly a whisper.
And you want to say yes. God, you want to say yes. But-
âLook, Danny,â you say, keeping your voice low. âYouâre a sweetheart, really. And youâre cute-â
âPerfect, so-â
âBut I donât date guests,â you say, leveling your eyes at him. âOr, like- I donât do hookups, or get close with guests. Itâs against the workplace rules, and itâs a recipe for disaster.â
He smiles softly- you think somewhere deep in your heart, you knew heâd react like this. With kindness, understanding. He tilts his head, and he squeezes your knee gently.
âOkay,â he says, softly. âIâm not going to push you on this, because I donât want to be a creep. But if you change your mind-â
âI wonât,â you say. Youâre not sure if youâre trying to tell him or yourself.
âI know,â he agrees. You think heâs lying, too. âBut if you do, promise youâll let me know?â
You snort out a laugh and stick out your pinky. âPromise.â
He goes to bed soon after that. You stay up until the fire goes out, staring at the coals, wondering if youâve made the right choice.
âŠ.
When you wake up the next morning to a shuffling noise outside your tent, your first thought is that the bears have finally come for you.
Your second thought, when you hear Dannyâs laughter, bright and loud, is: why the hell is he awake? You can tell from the light outside that itâs barely morning. You hadnât been planning on waking up for a few more hours, really. You hear him whisper your name loudly, and you groan, reaching to unzip the door to your tent just slightly.
Heâs crouching in front of your tent, wearing a wide smile. âWanna come jump in the river?â
You wonder for a second if this is some insane, weird dream. You blink and rub your eyes, but no, heâs still there.
âWhat?â You ask, voice scratchy with sleep.
âWeâre gonna do a cold plunge,â he says. âWanna join?â
âI thought you were a bear, you know.â You say, and he grins impossibly wider.
He makes a low growling noise. Behind him, near the fire ring, you hear one of his friends laugh. He rolls his eyes and reaches his hand out, tapping on the door of the tent.
âCome on, itâll be fun,â he says.
âI didnât bring my swimsuit,â you say. âAnd I donât think Iâve ever heard anyone call a cold plunge fun.â
Somehow, though, you find yourself following him, and his friends down to the river. Youâre not surprised to find they havenât talked Will into joining- he promises to have hot coffee waiting for all of you. Youâre in a pair of spandex shorts and a baggy shirt- the same clothes youâd worn to sleep. Dannyâs reassured you that none of them have real swimsuits either, and you figure you can let the clothes dry by the fire while you make breakfast when you get back. The morning is quiet as you all hike to the bank of the river, other than the sound of water getting louder and louder. Thereâs the bridge you crossed over on the way, and the little pool that Danny had said looked like the perfect spot to jump in.
âYou know, when you mentioned jumping in yesterday, I thought you were joking,â you tell him. âRemind me why weâre doing this again?â
âHealth,â he deadpans.
You stare at him, wide eyed, waiting for him to expand on the statement. When he doesnât, you roll your eyes and kick off your shoes anyways. He picks his way down the riverbank, peering over the edge into the pool of water. You follow along, wanting to get it over with.
He turns over his shoulder, grins at you, and then jumps in feet first.
He emerges from the crystal clear water with that same stupid smile on his lips. He wipes droplets of water from his face as he treads water, letting out a loud whoop. You want to scold him for scaring off any potential wildlife, but then heâs waving you in, calling your name. You sigh and brace yourself, consider chickening out for a moment, and then jump in after him.
The icy water shocks your senses so badly that you have to remind yourself to not breathe in underwater. It feels like needles all over your skin for a few moments, then uncomfortable numbness. When you emerge above the surface, you do so with a sharp scream, and to the sound of Dannyâs laughter. You shake your head wildly and try to brush the cold water off your face with shaking hands. Then you swim for the bank.
âGotta stay in,â Danny calls out, and you turn to look at him. âNo health benefits if you just jump right back out. Give it a few seconds.â
You glare at him, teeth already chattering. âI think youâre full of shit.â
Even if he is, you stay in the water. You find a spot where your feet can at least touch the bottom. The rest of his friends jump in, too, splashing each other and Danny. You laugh as you watch them, watch the pure joy of a bunch of men turning back into children again. Finally, Danny swims for the bank and reaches for your hand to help pull you out. Your whole body shakes and shivers, and there are no towels to dry off with, because this wasnât in the plans. There are wool blankets, however, and Danny picks one up and holds it out wide. In a moment of weakness and extreme cold, you let him wrap you up in it. Thereâs water glistening on his skin- you try not to stare. Nobodyâs around to see other than his friends, anyways.
The whole group trudges back up to the campsite, where Will has a fire roaring and water for coffee heating up. You duck into your tent to change into dry clothes, and you take everything other than your underwear back out with you to dry. Youâre not ready for the guys to see that this early in the morning.
You sit down on one of the logs, bundled up in a hoodie and sweatpants. Your wet hair drops cold water onto the back of your neck, and you shiver. The guys are still in their tent, and you can hear them chattering with each other. Will is eyeing you warily.
âI really didnât think theyâd talk you into it,â he says, quietly.
You shrug and muffle a yawn into your elbow. âHeâs persuasive.â
Will quirks a brow. âYeah?â
You close your eyes and drag a hand down your face. âNot like that.â
He hums. âThe dude obviously has a crush on you.â
You pull your knee up to your chest. âI know. We talked about it. I told him⊠you know. Itâs against the company policy-â
âYou do remember how I met my wife, right?â He asks, quietly.
You keep your eyes closed, mostly because you donât want to see the look on his face. âYeah. Shut up.â
âJust saying,â he says, softly.
Before you can respond, thereâs a commotion from the tent. You open your eyes to Danny stumbling his way towards the two of you, now dressed in a fuzzy sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. He saunters over to you and stops short, warming his hands on the fire.
âWell? Feeling the health effects?â He asks.
âI feel like a drowned rat,â you state, glaring up at him.
âYou look like a drowned rat,â Will chimes in. You elbow him harshly.
âMm, no, cuter than a drowned rat. Maybe a drowned koala. A drowned puppy?â Danny suggests, then frowns. âAlright, never mind, that felt morbid.â
The three of you laugh. One by one, his friends make appearances. Will hands out coffee and asks about the river, and you smile at the retelling of events. Eventually, you pack up all the gear- with help from everyone, a happy change from most groups, and head down the trail once again.
You know Danny will forget about you after he leaves, but you wonder if youâll ever be able to lead another camping trip to this spot without thinking of him.
âŠ..
Danny sticks to his word- he doesnât make a move again. He does continue to spend time with you. Youâre not exactly complaining, but it doesnât make your decision any easier. He finds you on the back porch the next morning after the camping trip and resumes your morning coffee tradition. You put the book down fully this time- slip the bookmark into your page and close the cover. Your time may be limited with him, but youâre going to soak up every second.
Youâre trying desperately not to get attached. Itâs not working. Heâs telling you a story about Australia, about his ranch there, about the dirt bikes and his parents and everything in between. And you sit there and regret ever telling him he couldnât kiss you.
You know it was the right choice. Know itâll only cause you heartbreak. But heâs so attractive, and sweet, and he loves his mother- his mum, even the way he says it is cute. You want to tell him you changed your mind. You sip your coffee instead.
Youâll be able to survive the rest of the week. Danny and his friends leave on Saturday. Itâs Thursday now. Thatâs only a few more interactions, if youâre lucky. Only a couple more back porch morning coffee meetings, a few more drinks at the bar. Youâll survive, heâll leave, and youâll both move on. He probably already has.
Then youâre in the break room and you hear someone mention the Friday bonfire and Dannyâs name in the same sentence, and your heart drops.
You and your coworkers have bonfires down by the employee housing every Friday. People who are working join after their shifts, and you all rotate the early Saturdays to make sure everyone can have a good time at least once a month. Itâs your way to unwind. Itâs supposed to be employees only, and sometimes a couple peopleâs friends. The only guests whoâve ever attended a bonfire since you started working at the lodge were a girl named Britt and her friends, and now Britt is married to your coworker Will.
âSo Danny actually said theyâd be at the bonfire?â Will asks, and you turn to stare at them.
Maybe heâs not talking about your Danny. You shake your head, knowing that calling him yours, even in your head, is stupid.
âDanny?â You ask. âLike- Danny?â
Will nods.
âWhat happened to no guests at bonfires?â You ask, turning towards the coffee maker to start another pot.
Tony, one of the kitchen staff, laughs. âYeah, sure, but itâs a bit different when itâs Danny Ric, isnât it?â
You shake your head in confusion and turn back to your two coworkers. âHave you even met him, Tony? Why are you out here calling him nicknames?â
Tony blinks widely at you. âThatâs what everyone calls him.â
âEveryone.â
Tony nods and shovels a forkful of pasta into his mouth. You grimace. Will watches the two of you, an amused smile on his face. Someone calls Tonyâs name, and he goes racing towards the kitchen, leaving his pasta abandoned on the table. You turn your stare to Will. Suddenly, you realize something.
âHeâs likeâŠâ you sigh and sink down into a nearby chair. âHe doesnât just work for Red Bull, does he?â
Will laughs. âHe told you he was in Scotty Jamesâ wedding and you really thought he was just some company exec?â
âWill, I barely know who Scotty is!â You snap. âYou shouldâve told me.â
Will shrugs and pats your shoulder when he walks past you. âIt was more fun this way. Besides, if he didnât tell you, bet he didnât want you to know.â
âWhat does he-â you cut yourself off. âI mean, is he an athlete, then?â
Will is scraping food from his plate into the compost bin. âYou ever heard of Formula One?â
You pick at your salad. âItâs like NASCAR, isnât it?â
He makes a coughing noise. âOkay, maybe donât start with that. Iâll give you a basic rundown.â
When you do see Danny the next morning, bright and early, you choose to start with, âgood morning, Danny Ric,â instead.
He pauses halfway across the porch, hands at his sides. His skin is glistening with sweat. Youâre wearing sunglasses- the perfect chance to let your eyes wander, just a little bit. He wipes at his brow and cocks his head.
âYou donât just work for Red Bull,â you say, and he chews on his lower lip. âI mean, understatement of the century.â
He laughs at that and takes a few steps towards you. âYeah. Sorry.â
You shrug. âYou couldâve told me, you know. I wouldnât have treated you any differently.â
Instead of going for his normal spot in the chair next to yours, he stands in front of you. If he moved just an inch farther, his knee would touch yours. He sighs.
âI know. It wasnât that. Honestly, I just figured you wouldnât care,â he says with a shrug. âLike. You must get so many people here trying to convince you theyâre not boring. Itâs gotta get exhausting.â
You laugh at that. âYeah, but your job is actually interesting,â you say. âYou know, it does explain all the running. And all the adrenaline chasing.â
He finally sits down- you breath a sigh of relief. You werenât really sure how heâd feel if you brought it up, but you hated the idea of knowing something about him without him knowing. You stick to your word- you donât treat him differently. You pick your book back up and read for a bit until he gets fidgety, until he decides he wants to tell you another story. And then you listen with a smile, because itâs Danny. The joy is infectious.
âŠ..
âYou ever been to Yosemite?â He asks you later that afternoon.
Youâre working the lunch shift at the bar. Danny had been wandering through the lobby, spotted you, and sat down for a drink. Heâs having a mocktail, something you came up with just for him. You wonder how long itâll be before one of his entourage comes looking for him. His phone has been buzzing repeatedly on the bar, and heâs been ignoring it.
You shake your head. âNot yet. Itâs on my bucket list,â you say.
He nods. âThatâs where weâre headed next. Spending a week there, and then itâs back to work.â
You blow out a long breath through pursed lips. âYour life is so difficult,â you say, teasingly.
He grins and shakes his head. âWanna come with?â
You laugh as you scrub at a spot on the bar. You wait for him to echo the sound. He doesnât. You look up at him, wide eyed. He should be laughing, he always laughs at his own jokes- it should be annoying, but itâs sort of endearing, the way he canât finish a sentence sometimes, how he doesnât make it to the punchline.
But heâs not laughing. âIâm being serious,â he says.
âDanny,â you say with a soft sigh. âWe have a policy-â
âAs friends,â he interrupts. âI promised I wouldnât pressure you. Thatâs not what this is. Youâre just⊠really cool, and weâve got room in the car, and⊠I could really use your sâmores skills. Blake is shit at it.â
You cock your head at him. âI have to work. Not all of us get week long vacations in the middle of tourist season.â
He lets out a long sigh. âRight. Yeah.â
âSorry,â you say, realizing youâre being a little harsh. âAnd thank you. The invite is really sweet. I justâŠâ
I just canât look at you without wanting to kiss you. The words are there, at the forefront of your mind and on the top of your tongue. Itâs becoming a real problem, because heâs about to leave and youâre going to be stuck here, waiting and hoping he comes back. And heâs sitting here, asking you to go to a national park with him, and you want to say yes so badly because you think that maybe kissing him would be the best thing youâve ever done. That maybe letting him in might be the right choice.
But heâs a guest, itâs against the rules, and heâs leaving. He sighs and nods, downs the last of his mocktail. He finally picks up his phone and raises his brows, then gives you a sheepish look.
âGotta go,â he says, softly. âBut Iâll see you tonight, yeah?â
You nod. âSee you tonight.â
âŠ..
You take your time getting ready for the bonfire. Itâs difficult- usually you wouldnât think twice about what youâre going to wear, or what you look like. But Dannyâs going to be there, and suddenly everythingâs different. You have a thin line to walk- go all out, and your coworkers will notice and tease you. Donât put in enough effort, and maybe Danny wonât even look your way tonight.
You eventually settle on a pair of jeans and a crew neck sweatshirt. The sun has just gone down, and thereâs already a chill in the air. You make your way down to the bonfire area, following the well worn trail and the smell of smoke.
Dannyâs already there, standing around near the firepit. His friends are all scattered with the rest of your coworkers, eating hot dogs that were cooked over the fire and chatting. Someoneâs set up lawn games, far enough from the firepit to keep anyone from getting injured. You grab a drink from the cooler and make your way towards the group, trying not to stare at Danny.
He calls out your name, though, in front of everyone, which gives you a valid excuse to make your way towards him. You weave through throngs of people and end up right by his side. Heâs been chatting with Will and Britt, which you think is probably a dangerous combination for your sake.
âBout time you showed up,â Danny says brightly. âIâm in sâmores withdrawal, and once Iâve had one of yours, I canât go back.â
You laugh and kick your toe at the ground. âI told you, I did absolutely nothing different.â
âNah, heâs right,â Britt chimes in, and you throw a glare in her direction. âYouâre a sâmores magician.â
You sigh and roll your eyes, and then you turn to Danny. âYou get me the supplies and Iâll make you a sâmore.â
He bounces away eagerly. Both Will and Britt are watching you with knowing looks. Feeling childish, you stick your tongue out at them. Will manages to look vaguely offended, while Britt just laughs.
Danny returns with a roasting stick and all the sâmores ingredients. You take them without complaint, watching his hands as he gets the crackers and chocolate set up. He follows you closer to the fire as you search for just the right spot.
âHe kept burning his to a crisp on the camping trip,â you tell Britt, a teasing lilt to your voice. âThatâs why I made him one. He was helpless.â
Britt laughs. Danny jabs at your side, and you let out a yelp. Your drink is hanging from your other hand, and you take a sip before you stick the marshmallows over the fire. Across the fire, Tony, the guy who called Danny Danny Ric, is watching you with wide eyes and whispering to one of your other coworkers. This is what you were worried about- get close to Danny, and people will start talking. But heâs leaving tomorrow, and you canât bring yourself to care.
âSee, itâs not about the flames,â you tell Danny, who leans closer to listen. You gesture with your beer. âItâs the coals. You find the right spot, and then you gotta have patience. Itâs a slow process.â
He lets out a hiss. âMânot good at patience. Or slow.â
You roll your eyes and smirk. âIâm sure youâre very fast.â
He gasps in mock hurt and digs his fingers into your ribs again. You squeak and bat his hand away.
âYouâre gonna ruin the marshmallows!â You warn as he reaches for you again.
He pulls his hand back and smiles innocently. You take a sip of your drink and stare up at him through your lashes, the same way he does to you when heâs sitting at the bar. You wonder if it has the same effect on him as it does on you. From the way he swallows, you think it might.
âŠ..
Youâve only had a couple drinks, because as much as youâve said youâre going to forget about him, you really do want to remember every last moment. It gets late far too quickly. The stars are out, and the moon too, casting everything in a silvery glow. The moonlight paints one side of Dannyâs face- the fire, the other. Warm and cold at the same time.
More than half the people who started the night there have wandered back to their rooms and cabins. Dannyâs friends all went to bed a while ago, gave him stern instructions to join them soon. Theyâre leaving early tomorrow, getting up with the sun and heading out. He needs sleep.
Instead, heâs sitting next to you on a log next to the fire. Your knees are touching, shoulders brushing with every movement. Heâs nursing his second beer of the night. You stare at the rose tattoo on his hand and fight the urge to trace the inked lines.
He nudges your shoulder lightly. You stare up at him, face warm, not from the fire.
âWhatâs going on in that pretty little head?â He asks, voice low.
You shrug. You canât tell him. I want to kiss you. I want to feel your hands on me. I want to read the tattoo on your chest, trace the lines of all of them. I want you. I changed my mind. Except, really, youâve wanted this the whole time.
âJust tired,â you say instead, rubbing your thumb against the can in your hand. âI know itâs your last night here and all, but I might head to bed.â
It hits you like a sucker punch as you say it- if you go now, youâre saying goodbye. You could get up early and see him off, but you think thatâd be a bit much. He seems to realize it too- his face drops.
âIâll walk you back,â he offers.
âYou donât have to,â you answer.
You want him to. But you know what youâll do if you make it to the door of your cabin and heâs standing next to you. You know the choice youâll make. Youâll regret it in the morning when heâs gone and already forgetting about you, when youâre just the girl he hooked up with at the lodge on his vacation, when he goes back to his life of luxury and supermodels and-
âI want to,â he says, softly. âThereâs bears here, you know.â
He growls lowly, right near your ear. You giggle to cover up the way it makes you feel like youâre on fire. When he stands and holds out his hand to help you up, you let him. He says goodbye to a couple people. You avoid Will and Brittâs gazes. Then the two of you set off down the path.
He keeps his distance. Iâm not going to push you on this, because I donât want to be a creep. But if you change your mind⊠You reach out, bump your hand against his. Knuckle to knuckle. He echoes the touch. Then you wiggle your fingers against his, desperately hoping he gets the message. When he tangles his fingers with yours, something slips into place.
Thereâs this energy thrumming in your body when you make it to the cabin area. Youâre sure youâre shaking with it, even more sure that heâs noticed. You head for your cabin and squeeze his fingers. Itâs dark here, nothing but the light of the moon to see by. You walk up to the door, his hand still in yours.
âDâyou wanna come in for a drink?â You ask, trying desperately to sound nonchalant.
He squeezes your fingers. You turn over your shoulder and meet his eyes. Theyâre half lidded and dark. Like he knows where this is going.
âI donât want to pressure you,â he says. âThatâs not what this was about. I donât-â
âI know,â you say with a nod. âI know.â
He nods, ducks his head. You push open the cabin door and step inside, hand still linked with his. He takes a deep breath.
âI wonât be offended if you donât want to,â you say, softly. âYou can change your mind, too.â
His eyes slip closed, and he shakes his head. Then he follows you in through the open door.
Heâs the one to shut it. And then his hand slips from yours and falls to your hip, pulling you close. You wrap your arms around his neck. Your heart is racing in your chest. You wonder if his is too. You blink up at him, watching the way his jaw clenches.
âCan I kiss you?â He asks again, for the second time in a week.
âPlease?â You ask, softly.
Itâs like all his resolve disappears with that one single word. The night fades around you- it's just you and him. Nothing else matters.
His lips are hot and insistent against yours. When his hands fall to your hips, theyâre even hotter and more insistent. He walks you back towards the bed, shoving at your sweatshirt and the t-shirt underneath it. You do the same with his hoodie, hands scrambling underneath, searching for skin. The skin youâve been looking at all week, wishing you could touch- you can, now.
Heâs in your room, in your space, and he backs you up to the bed. Your knees hit the mattress, and you fall back, away from his kissing, with a soft laugh. You stare up at him through your lashes, your whole body on fire. His hand falls to your knee and draws a slow line up your thigh. You reach up and tug on the hem of his sweatshirt, chest already rising and falling rapidly.
He leans over you, and you know your hand in the neck of the fabric, trying to pull him closer. He has himself propped up over you with one hand, eyes lit up like firelight, lips parted.
âKiss me,â you whine, as his palm falls to your hip and squeezes. âDanny-â
His lips meet yours again, and itâs frantic after that. You shove his shirt over his head- yours follows it to the pile on the floor. He steps out of his jeans after you undo the button and the zipper, and then heâs tugging your pants down your legs, breath catching in his chest as he gazes down at you. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth, biting down, and you trace fingers up the ridges of his abdomen. He traces a line from your navel up the center of your chest, presses his thumb to your lips, and you whine.
âPlease, Danny,â you breathe.
His eyes slip shut. âMâtrying to prove I can be slow and patient.â
You gasp as his hand cups your jaw. âYeah- well- I canât, so-â
He laughs lowly, and with his other hand, he hooks a finger in the waistband of your panties. âCâmon, little blackbird,â he says, and you writhe on the bed underneath him as he runs a thumb over your core, pressing into the wetness there. âSure you can.â
When he sinks to his knees and buries his face between your legs, you thank the stars you didnât let him leave without getting a taste of this, of him.
âŠ..
After, the two of you lay spent in your bed. Youâre tracing lines on his bare skin, both still naked. There are marks all over your bodies- hickies and fingerprints and bite marks. Youâll be feeling him inside of you for days, youâre sure. You run your finger under the words on his chest. Of Love And Life.
You know the song, so you start to whistle it. His laughter rumbles under your ear, deep in his chest, and then he starts to sing along with your whistling. Itâs silly. If you told any of your friends about it, theyâd cringe. But you feel the vibration of the words under his ribs and wish you could stay like this forever.
Eventually he stops singing, and you stop whistling. His hand sweeps up your bare back, fingers drawing shapes on your spine.
âYour cabin is cute,â he says.
You pick your head up and rest your chin on your hand that lays flat on his chest. âThanks.â
He nods towards the poster on the wall. Yosemite is written in big letters, and you sigh.
âOfferâs still open,â he says, quietly. âNo pressure. But.â
You let your eyes fall closed. âDanny.â
He cranes his neck up to press a kiss to your cheek. âI know. Sorry. I just donât want to say goodbye yet.â
âWe wonât say goodbye then. Weâll say see you later,â you suggest. Itâs cheesy, but it feels right. âAnd you can stay the night, if you want.â
You expect him to say no. Youâre sure his friends are going to panic when they realize heâs not in the room. But he just nods and pulls you close, and you rest your head on his chest again, and soon enough, youâre falling asleep, just like that.
You wake up the next morning before the sun is even up. The alarm on his phone is going off, and heâs doing a very bad job of muffling his swearing as scrambles out of bed to search for it. You tug the blankets over your head and groan until he shuts the noise off. You hear his footsteps, heading back to the bed. He tugs the blanket down so he can see your eyes and leans close.
âI gotta go, baby,â he says, quietly. Itâs like it pains him.
âYeah, I know,â you say, feeling like it pains you just as much.
He kisses your forehead and pulls the blanket down farther. He sits down on the edge of your bed and plants on hand right next to your head. You turn your face, press your lips to the inside of his wrist. Then you wrap your hand around his bicep and sigh.
âThank you,â he says. âI had an amazing time this week. Wouldnât have been the same without you.â
You laugh and squeeze his arm. âYou just liked the sâmores.â
âNo, I-â
âI know. Me too. Thank you,â you say.
He kisses your lips one more time. You press your hand to his cheek and try to burn this into your brain. Then he kisses your forehead again and stands up with a long stretch.
âSee you later, mirlo,â he says, sounding more unsure than youâve ever heard him.
âSee you later,â you echo.
You watch him leave. Watch him walk to the door, watch the slope of his shoulders under his sweatshirt. Something awful twists in your chest.
âHey, Danny, do me a favor?â You call out. He turns, brows raised.. âTry not to forget me, yeah?â
The corner of his lips tugs up into a half smile. âI donât think I could if I wanted to.â
You close your eyes so you donât have to watch him leave. You hear the latch of the door and bury your face in your pillow, resisting the urge to scream. Youâd have at least three of your coworkers at the door if you did. The last thing you need is to alert anyone of Dannyâs presence in your cabin, though they probably already know. You donât want to give them any sort of confirmation, though. You roll over in bed and open your eyes, and youâre met with bright blue fabric, folded neatly on top of the other pillow. Dannyâs t-shirt, left behind. Deliberately, it seems, from the way itâs folded. Itâs some souvenir shirt from a ski chalet youâve never heard of. Heâd been wearing it the night before- you took it off of him. He left it on purpose for you to find. For you to have. In your moment of weakness, you grab it and press it to your nose and breathe in. Thatâs when you realize youâre absolutely never getting over him.
And then, you think. He left his shirt. He wanted you to have something to remember him by. In all of this, maybe youâre not the only one afraid of being forgotten. Heâs larger than life, heâs a damn celebrity, but heâs leaving a little piece of him behind so you have a reminder. Like he knows youâll put the shirt in your drawer and feel that feeling in your chest every time you reach for a different one. The bright blue is permanently burned into your brain.
Feeling especially self pitying, you reach for your phone, knowing that your camera roll from the past week is filled with pictures of him. May as well wallow in it, right?
âŠ..
Danny throws the last bag into the trunk of the car and sighs. Blake slaps his shoulder, heavy handed, so hard it almost hurts. Maybe he needs that.
Heâs been looking all over for you. Heâd thought maybe youâd come to see them off, or that heâd at least see you once more before he left. But youâre not on the back porch reading, and youâre not in the restaurant, and youâre not in the employee break room, either. He thinks about going to your cabin and then realizes that would be crazy, and probably a little creepy. Youâve already said goodbye- or see you later, but still.
Someone starts the car. He drags a hand down his face. âI need coffee,â he says, and Blake nods.
Danny jerks his thumb towards the lodge and then walks in to grab a cup to go. Heâs only delaying the inevitable, really. If you were going to show up to say goodbye, youâd already be there. He should just be happy with what heâs had. Happy that you let him in the way you did. He shouldâve known it would only leave him wanting more, but itâs a bit late for that now.
He walks back outside, cup of coffee in hand, a frown on his face. His friends are packing the last bags and climbing into the car, and Blake is-
He nearly trips over his own feet, nearly spills his coffee down his chest. Because Blake is talking to you. Youâre standing there, a book in one hand, his blue t-shirt in the other. His gut twists. Blake sees Danny and backs away to give the two of you space. Dannyâs heart is racing as he walks up to you.
You hold the shirt out to him. âYou left this.â
He left it on purpose, and he thought that was pretty obvious. Maybe that was unfair. Maybe it was selfish of his to want to leave a reminder of himself for you. He frowns and reaches for the shirt, tries to take it from your hand. You donât let go when he pulls on it, and he looks at you in confusion.
âYou left it on purpose,â you say, quietly.
He nods and swallows. âI didnât want you to forget me, either.â
You nod back. Youâre staring up at him, this knowing look in your eyes that has him frozen right in place. His heart skips a beat in his chest. You tilt your head towards the trunk of the car- thereâs another bag sitting there, on top of all the rest of them.
âBlake says that seatâs still open,â you say, and he holds his breath. âAnd Will texted me this morning and said theyâve covered all my shifts for the week, for some reason.â He shrinks under your gaze, knowing thatâs probably because he mentioned the Yosemite trip, and his inviting you, to Will. âSo.â
âSo,â he echoes, a little bit scared to believe that what he thinks is happening actually is.
You shrug and shoot him a bright, sunny smile. âIâve always wanted to see Yosemite. And you need a sâmores girl. Still want me to come along?â
When he sweeps you into a big, dramatic kiss, right there on the front lawn of the lodge, you donât complain. You just wrap your arms around him and kiss him back. In the trees above your heads, a blackbird sings.
for posterityâs sake please let it be known that i mostly finished this on January 31st, 2024, and then woke up to the news that Lewis Hamilton is going to ferrari in 2025. I feel like that is an important detail to be known. I decided to post it anyways. Thanks for reading the longest fic i have ever written i hope you enjoyed đ
taglist: @4-mula1 @celestialams @struggling-with-delia @lovekt @i-wish-this-was-me @forzalando @iloveyou3000morgan @callsign-scully
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