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#who all turned out to be elves

mryarra · 2 years

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looked at my Saurian dino lineup and Oops All Elves? Apparently?

#i was just namin em after characters #who all turned out to be elves #from:#critical role #the silmarillion #and #Elfquest #saurian game #middle earth #tolkien

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jag-rat · 10 months

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Okay hear me out. What if the Falmer were culturally far more similar to the modern day nords rather than the altmer or the ayleids?

Like if the Falmer's culture was a more intense version of what we see of the ancient nords in Skyrim. Because the nords kind of just integrated their own culture into the falmers. Maybe the Falmer were originally far more similar to the vikings and other ancient Scandinavian cultures rather than just being the altmer but pale.

Or maybe even towards the end of their reign they started to shift cultures to a more altmer influenced lifestyle and religion making Auri-el a more prominent God figure in their pantheon. Sort of similar to how Scandinavia got christianised.

It would explain why tensions between the Atmorans and the Falmer suddenly became so high when they were previously living peacefully together.

It would also be fascinating to consider the fact the nords could actually be descendants of both the atmorans and the Falmer. Sort of like the bretons. It's very difficult to completely wipe out an entire country worth of people. And not every Falmer wanted to go underground with most being opposed to the idea. So it would make more sense for those who didn't join the Dwemer for protection to be slowly "integrated" with the atmorans which would explain the entire disappearance of the rest of the Falmer. It also gives the modern day Nords a new context which I really like because its sort of poetic irony the nords themselves would be another small part of what was left of the ancient falmer.

Also there's no way a bunch of people living in freezing cold temperatures aren't going to have beards. Bethesda is lying to me.

Anyways it might not line up with canon but it's an interesting thought. Also brings some funny scenarios to mind.

For more details go here

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hanzajesthanza · 1 year

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we gotta be honest with ourselves, dandelion (of the books canon) would not understand what a lesbian is. geralt would explain it to him and he would be like "but surely, there must be… exceptions…” he would react the same way he reacted when regis told the group about his sobriety: “Not at all? Not at all? Never? But…” “Dandelion, get a grip and think. In silence.” “Sorry,” the poet grunted…

he wouldn’t be able to wrap his mind around the concept. he’d treat it like an oddity like the false myths about zerrikanian archers cutting off their right breasts in order to shoot better. like, “i heard, that in the foreign land of… that they…” and they would not be distinguished from other women in his mind but rather just fall into the category of “unlikable” or “very unlikable”: Dandelion divided women – including magicians – into very likeable, likeable, unlikeable and very unlikeable. The very likeable reacted to the proposition of being bedded with joyful acquiescence, the likeable with a happy smile. The unlikeable reacted unpredictably. The very unlikeable were counted by the troubadour to be those to whom the very thought of presenting such a proposition made his back go strangely cold and his knees shake.

probably until he leaves for brokilon and it is proven to him that there are really No men here and at the same time the dryads want Nothing to do with him but everything to do with each other that he finally kind of, half-understands the concept. he only understands fully probably right around the same time milva is coming to terms with lesbianism because he is besides her and her emotions. there may not be any cognitive function here but what’s left is empathy, as we all know: “I write ‘it seems to me’ for I am aware that being a man I cannot imagine what such a loss means for a woman. Though I am a poet and a man of the quill, even my educated and trained imagination betrays me here and I can do nothing.” he may not be able to fathom it but that’s fine, leave the subject unfathomable for him, that’s preferable, actually.

#sorry this was a joke post and then i decided to grab quotes and it turned out terribly #this post is like. half joking just fyi. but its also half eh you know probably true #my question though is about essi daven who after all is a woman (well. a girl) and he liked her and she didn’t want to have sex with him #and it’s him that gave her the attribution of ‘like a little sister to me’ so…#the blood of elves thoughts are cursed also somewhat funny because hes stupid and foolish #c: dandelion #the witcher books #txt #it’s a result of his arrogance . i am uncomfortable when women are not about Me ?#milva: ‘and just imagine now that there are straight women that dont want to fuck you either’ | dandelion: ??????????

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calypsolemon · 1 year

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also imma let u guys in on a little secret. technically oldman lloyd au and transcendent au stem from the same au canon, just diverging very early on. In oldman lloyd the ninja never turn evil like in ruination, events largely play out as some mix of the movie and s2. The god prophecy is still there, and at some point post s11 or so wu reveals fsm's full plans to the ninja because he begins to doubt his father's teachings. This essentially nullifies the whole thing because they know about it, but due to being now pretty well-adjusted adults, they aren't motivated to take up the mantle of gods. Most of them are uncomfortable with the idea of choosing to exist forever. Lloyd eventually gains almost equivalent power to his god counterpart, but remains very much alive (his immortality a natural part of him being oni/dragon). The difference really is just that he had the chance to grow up, and his role - which in oldman lloyd au he has the chance to accept of his own volition - is of a protector, not a god.

#oldman lloyd #transcendent au #ultimately all the transcendent stuff is completely unimportant to oldman lloyd besides the fact that they exist as foils of sorts #this is also why im not a fan of people trying to make the other ninja immortal in this au personally #i already HAVE an au for that and it turns out... immortality has concequences!#oni/dragon hybrids like lloyd and nindroids kind of work on the sort of logic tolkien elves have like #even tho there are aspects of immortality that suck its fine for them bc its their natural state #but for the complete humans/mortals of ninjago it would just be hella uncomfortable to be forced to live forever #the ninja gave up their HUMANITY in transcendent. growing old and dying was part of that humanity #also like sorry but if you think kai SPECIFICALLY would want to live forever u dont understand him like i do #<--- guy who is a kai kinnie

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magnusmodig · 2 months

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rough childhood headcanon qs / anonymous / accepting !

╰┈➤ 6 . what was the worst / most traumatic moment in their childhood?

||. Oh, I am sure that there are multiple that Thor can recount (if he ever bothered to) and the list could fill up a very long and detailed tome. But were I to try and summarize most of them, I would end up with one word: Gungnir.

Disagreed with something your father said? Gungnir. Went against the grain because you felt it better to do things your own way? Gungnir. Have the gall to talk back (regardless of whether your point was valid or just genuine childish disrespect)? Gungnir. Make a mistake? Bound to get scolded? You've spoken out of turn? Gungnir. Dare to defy Odin and you will hear the sound of urdu thudding against the ground, because very likely you aren't talking to your father at all. You're talking to the All-Father, and he is not a very patient manner of beast.

And I would imagine that Thor, being the temperamental, strong-willed, passionate individual that he is (not to mention a perfectly bright and excitable creature as a child, the lovely lamb) wouldn't have known the difference at first. How would he have? His father was his hero. He answered a great many questions and told the history of his father and fore-father. He took Thor's hand in his and squeezed it tight, and showed him the great treasures of Asgard and the spoils of its righteous conquests as heroes of the Great Wars. ...So how was Thor to know the difference between the father who held his hands and spoke with a fond twinkle in his eye, and the All-Father who spoke with authority heavy in his tone and the slam of urdu on the ground? So Thor would speak up as any child might, interrupting and asking questions and never exactly listening, because Thor has his own thoughts and opinions and he would very much like to share them all. And father would listen, but the All-Father does not. And Thor would argue and debate and counter when he feels something unjust, unfair or otherwise downright vexing for a little one who knows no better about the world than that which consists of himself and his brother and his parents, and maybe sometimes he was eloquent enough to earn an impressed hum or a begrudging acquiescence — if he was debating with his father, at any rate.

Thor was oh-so very often not speaking to his father at all.

And it was very much his own mistake for not catching on to the difference.

But at some point, Thor learned better. Fight back, but maybe not so blatantly out of line. Defend your point and speak your mind, but beware of the All-Father's command. Do what's right, but in the shadow of rebellion ; keep your head down, and your eyes lower, as you slip around the politics of the rulings – for rules are made to be broken , after all. Most of all: when Gungnir sounds, bite your tongue and hold your breath.

You will speak when spoken to or you will not speak at all.

#( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .#( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call .#nonny asks #( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#(you know in the frozen vault scene in thor 2011 when odin yells YOU ARE NOT KING and thor just loses all steam instantly and goes silent)#(and only barely manages to maintain eye contact)#(you know in 2011 when odin's yelling in his face before banishing him abt how unworthy of a son he is and thor's heaving out breath)#(from the shock of it all and he completely loses eye contact)#(you know in the dark world when odin snaps at him /in front of jane/ and thor gets shut down at every turn and goes silent)#(you know in the dark world when odin yells at him abt how he'll sacrifice as many men as necessary)#(to draw out the dark elves and thor falls completely silent and loses all eye contact)#(yeah that.)

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heniareth · 1 year

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A letter from the Hero of Ferelden to the Arishok dated somewhere around 9:49 Dragon, found in the Arishok's private war tent:

Dear Sten,

Hi, it's me. An interesting message has reached my ears. Don't ask how, I won't tell. Apparently, your army is set out to Antiva? Is that true? Sten, I fucking live here, and by the amount of qunari coming into town I'm sure you know that. And no, they're not Tal-Vashoth. I know the difference by now.

I really want to keep this friendly, but I will not have an invasion. I already had to leave Amaranthine. I have kids now, Sten. I swear, if anything happens to them, I'll have you pay tenfold.

I hope the courier delivers the cookies. I hope you like them. For old time's sake, yeah? I consider you a good friend and I really don't want to lose that friendship, but if your people invade Antiva... well. Just don't do it! It's not so hard!

Zevran sends his love and his own threats. If you don't invade us, we'd love to see you again. If you really want to see Antiva so bad, you can come over any time, you know? Without your army.

Lots of love,

Astala

It is unclear whether the Arishok ever responded to the letter, but the paper looks like it has been crumpled and then smoothed out again several times.

#astala tabris #da4 #dragon age #sten #i had to. god if astala has to get involved she'll be so angry #the thing with leaving amaranthine is very not fleshed out but astala would've done her best to turn it into a haven for elves #but probably not as much as many would like bc she's still beholden to a human queen and there's only so much she can get away with #so a coup wouldn't be out of the question. maybe by angry humans. maybe by elves. maybe by agents of fen'harel who want to destabilize the #*region. or maybe astala has knowledge/an artifact they need #or they just plain want her gone #OR maybe the nobility kicks her out in a witchhunt bc they suspect her to be an agent of fen'harel #i still gotta work on it. the thing is i wanted her to move to antiva and needed a reason bc she'd never ever give up her position of power #double edged sword? maybe #it's still in the works #on the bright side not having to be arlessa gives her some much needed me-time & later time to have and raise all the kids she wants #(which are many. so far we have six XD)

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swordmaid · 4 months

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am getting a lot of character inspo for shri’iia from amy gone girl. I don’t think she’s as smart nor calculated but she is similar to some degree in that she’s hyper aware of the current persona she’s presenting and how she’s appealing to the people. the masks and the mjndgames, that’s basically how shri’iia operated while she was still serving under her matriarch in menzoberranzan. she needed to play the roles the matriarch required of her and it was only when she was with her matriarch that she can be ‘Real Shri’iia’, and that’s how I imagined shri’iia to be esp in act 1 when she is so new and scared in the surface. she needed to work out who these people are (her companions) and what they liked, so her first persona - her blank one - the charming helpful paladin who got tadpoled and wants to go back home just like the rest of them (which was half true). she didn’t really argue and she generally agreed to what the group wanted. she was helpful and co-operative, ask her about her past and she will tell you something bland and generic- interesting enough to be ooh-ing about but not too interesting that they’ll delve deeper into it. then, when she got to know them a little more, she started crafting little personas adjacent to her first one ; she’s the girl who’s curious about magic but never had the chance to learn with gale, she’s a cool girl who likes mischief as debauchery with astarion, she’s the one who likes to take risks and live in the moment with karlach, the knight in silver armor who’s willing to help the tieflings with wyll, a disciplined fighter with lae’zel, someone who understands the depths of devotion with shadowheart - but none are really her, not really. ofc her own personality might slip in here and there but for the most part she’s appealing to them and what they’d like her to be but none of it is really genuine. shri’iia just needs to be on their good side to minimise the chances of them turning on her, and if they let her guard down it’ll be easier for her to get rid of them should the need arise. taking up all these different masks, collecting all these intel abt them to be used for later, slithering and making a place in their minds - it’s really how she operated back in menzoberranzan. I think the only one who catches on to her game is astarion but that’s bc he’s doing the same thing too, so it’s very game recognises game lmfao

it’s only when she breaks her oath and goes through her existential crisis that all of her masks drop and her real self comes out. she was never that kind of person lmfao ^, she’s greedy, selfish, paranoid and rather obsessive. she doesn’t care about a lot of things that doesn’t concern her, she has a cruel streak that she hasn’t shown before, and she hates doing anything that won’t really benefit her. but she’s fiercely loyal to anyone she likes, like a dog. and severely she craves validation and approval - also like a dog.

#like if shri’iia was smarter and wiser it’s really over for you hoes 😔 but she’s not lol #the matriarch also taught her how to deceive so she had good training lool like that’s coming from the master liar herself #and in game Shri’iia’s deception is p high so it tracks 👯‍♀️#but anyway I finished reading gone girl and shri’iia would’ve turned out like amy in her vengeance ending #I think if her paranoia consumed her and an outside figure validated her way of faking herself #and generally moulded her back to being that overly obsessive paladin who lives to serve - which is what her matriarch made her to be #but obv she can’t be that girl in the surface .. they can’t know abt the Lolth worship! they’ll kill her! so she makes a new one … a #completely different one that’s so detached from her previous self … someone new and charming and fun and harmless and the kind of person #you’ll feel safe around and happy to travel with. she is that girl! and more! and she’s down for anything! and she loves to help!#but she forgets the goddess she worships is fickle and vengeful and proud so her favor drops and suddenly her real self is left #with nothing .. so she doesn’t know what to do anymore … she doesn’t know if she should keep up this fake one I mean what’s the point does #she even have it in her anymore?? how can she go back home when they don’t want you back #like who is SHE without lolth even … bc the girl that she has been playing is nothing but a blank image #and that’s NOT her .. never been her… so shri’iia is left bewildered confused and even more scared #like what do you do if you’ve been left behind in this new world?? and the purpose of your existence doesn’t want you anymore but the #thing is she knows where she went wrong.. but she didn’t have a choice - or did she?? shri’iia doesn’t know .. she’s not a planner #you don’t need to plan when your matriarch does all the thinking for you and you just do what ur told bc there is nothing better than to #serve and fulfill your oath …!!! so she ends up getting wasted in a party with the people she didn’t even care to save lmfao #and then she gets drunk and ends up fucking this one guy just bc she asked and she’s already hit rock bottom #lolth always says fuck elves anyway so she goes off and do just that 🤷‍♀️#shut up abt bg3.

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lloveyouinsecret · 5 months

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Imagine you are me, a Beauregard Lionett and Vex’ahlia enthusiast, and you start watching My Country. You can imagine the state of my brain by the middle of the season. I have like two or three episodes left so we’ll see how things are by the end.

I’m also beginning to spin around the idea of Ashton and being punished by their father’s hubris and lust for power. Having to live with the scars of someone else’s desires and turning the pain and anger into something dangerous in a way that will end up with them dead and being okay with that

#emma talks #need Vex Beau and Seon-ho to start a terrible fathers group #kind of crazy to think about how at least one of the twins would have probably turned out to be very similar to Seon-ho if they had #stayed in syngorn with their father #like half-elves with a politically powerful father who for all intents and purposes thinks of them as bastards but wants them #to seem as less human/inferior/etc as possible and acts as though taking them from the only life they know and the only person to love them #was a blessing and that he has done what’s right…I’m dying over here btw #and Beau’s father treating her like the child he wanted but that she isn’t #a man who pities himself and offers words of comfort when he has no right to even speak to her

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rosecreates · 5 months

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The favorite places of the BG3 Unholy Trio are as follows...

Sylve: She grew up in Rivington and after she became a mercenary and managed to earn herself a home in the Lower City, she found herself spending a lot of time in Elfsong Tavern to relax, and it soon became her favorite place.

Raven: The Bazaar of Menzoberranzan, where she often found a place to 'perch' and watch the people go to-and-fro, or spend time window shopping. Prior to being adopted into House Mizzrym she would also scam people, and even though she can't say she enjoyed having to make ends meet through conning, she can't deny it was fun fooling people into believing her.

Nimue: Prior to losing her memory, her favorite place was Bloomridge Park. Her foster parents took her there often, where she often had picnics with them and played with other children. After killing her foster parents when consumed by her dark urge when she was a preteen and covering up the murder out of fear, she was taken in by the Church dedicated to Corellon Larethian that she had often visited with her parents. She constantly visited the park at that point, watching the scenery from afar whilst drowning in her thoughts, if she wasn't praying at the Church for Corellon to purge the urges from her and forgive her for her sins or mourning her parents at the graveyard. After losing her memory and returning to Baldur's Gate in Act 3, she regains several memories when taken to Bloomridge Park and finds herself spending a lot of time there again to reminisce.

#{oc info}#{oc: sylve}#{oc: raven}#{oc: nimue}#nim having worshipped corellon before fel eventually took her to the bhaal temple is really sad actually because i very much make it clear-#that she for all intents and purposes is just an imitation of a high elf. she adores elven culture and takes pride in her identity as one-#and it WRECKED her when she realized she was a fake one and that corellon must surely despise her (i dunno if he actually does but)-#because why would he ever accept something like her. a bhaalspawn imitating a high elf. who has surely killed many elves at that-#including the family that took her in and i figure she probably slaughtered the church too which is just AGH. shes just wants to be a-#normal high elf. she probably had planned originally to become a cleric of corellon. her parents probably were clerics of him. and she-#wanted to be just like them. when it was realized the natural power she held and capability to become a sorcerer she maybe was gonna be-#like a sorcerer/cleric hybrid of sorts. but things didnt turn out that way. when she killed her parents she dropped any and all of her-#cleric training because she felt like she was too tainted to become a cleric now. focused more into sorcerer studies and maybe was trained-#by some sorcerer who she met at church. whenever she wasnt at bloomridge or the graveyard or praying for forgiveness ofc. and then-#she probably slaughtered her church as an adult and thats when fel came and took her to bhaal so haha :-D #nimue is not ok dear lord help her nkjgfbjkbgf

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saphic-with-t · 3 months

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When joking about how ridiculous it is that Fabian is popular I don’t think people realize how insanely cool the bad kids are in universe. As viewers we see their cool moments but we also see them being dorks and lame idiots. Think about their in universe reputations and how you would react to hearing about them if you lived in the same world as them.

There is a group of six people who saved the world 3 different times before they even entered their junior year of high school.

One of them never showed up to any of their classes until their third year and still passed. She is a rockstar and arch devil of rebellion who owns a recording studio in hell where she plays the bass.

One dude threw the greatest party the entire high school has ever seen, is captain of the sports team, and killed the school’s evil principal without facing any punishment.

One performed a motorcycle kick-flip that was doing a jump off of a mansion’s roof into a pool of flaming tartar sauce. Said kick-flip student has created a god, killed that god, brought herself back from the dead, and resurrected a completely different god.

One of the girls is the chosen oracle of all elves and punched her dad so hard he instantly died. Also if you dig deep enough into the political history books it turns out she caused there to be a feud (bordering on full war) between her home nation and the nation she currently lives in.

The quietest kid of the bunch is a super genius who invented a solar lasso that captured and contained an eldritch horror into his van, took 4 years of high school all at once and passed all of them, is currently acing his arcane mechanics and physical Ed studies, and is the second hand man on the school sports team. He also is the drummer for the arch devil’s band and launched a fully working satellite into space before he even started studying arcane mechanics.

Finally the “dork” of their group is an arcane consultant of heaven, became a P.I. after freshman year, is currently in every extra-curricular school club, and is beloved by seemingly all of his underclassmen. Also after he found out that the dragon his party was fighting ate his dad he fucking ATE IT to avenge him.

Obviously we know the truth behind all of these things and the actual way these six dorks act, but think how insanely sick they all sound in universe.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #the intrepid heroes #intrepid heroes #fig faeth #fig fantasy high #fabian seacaster #fabian fantasy high #kristen applebees #kristen fantasy high #adaine o'shaughnessey #adaine abernant #adaine fantasy high #gorgug thistlespring #gorgug fantasy high #riz gukgak #riz fantasy high

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obsessedwithceleste · 4 months

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The Cat Chronicles

(Or five times Theodore Nott *accidentally* stole your cat)

Theodore Nott x reader

word count: 5.9k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

The first time your cat went missing, you didn’t think entirely too much of it. You knew many of the Hogwarts cats liked to gather behind the herbology greenhouse where a particularly plentiful patch of catnip grew. However, Gladys was never one to miss meal time, and when the time came to 30 minutes after her usual feeding time, you knew something was amiss. With a sigh, you made your way out to your common room where you saw Cho sitting by the fireplace with several other of your class mates.

“Has anyone seen Gladys wandering about? She missed feeding time and I haven’t seen her much today,” you say as you approach the group.

“I haven’t, sorry y/n. We’ll keep a look out for her though,” Cho tells you.

You let out a small sigh of disappointment.

“Thanks Cho,” you say before heading out to wander the halls of the castle, hoping to find your elusive, black cat.

You start out by the greenhouse where you see a whole gaggle of cats, but none with the sleek black coat that identified your furry friend. You then walked around the grounds a bit more with no luck, before moving on to the kitchens where several of the house elves promised to keep an eye out for the small black cat. You even checked several empty class rooms before coming to a stop outside the library. It wouldn’t hurt to check. Twenty minutes later, you were still completely out of luck. Tired and frustrated, you were about to call it a night when a loud chorus of voices turn down the hall. You look to see who it was and find a hoard of Slytherin boys making their way towards you. You recognized them of course, but didn’t exactly know them. What you did know however, was the mop of black fur one of the taller boys in the back of the group was holding.

“Gladys!” You exclaim, rushing towards the group of boys.

Their eyes all turn towards you and at the sound of her name, the fiesty black cat springs from the arms of the boy and runs towards you.

With a large grin of relief, you scoop the cat up into your arms, feeling her light purr as you scratch behind her ears. Feeling several pairs of eyes on you, you look up to see the group of boys still staring at you and your cat.

“Um, thanks, for finding my cat,” you say awkwardly, squeezing the cat to your chest lightly. The tall, brunette boy who had just been holding your cat only nods silently before turning and walking off, the rest of the group following, except one.

“Hey, sorry about Theo. He means well, really. Man really likes cats, but doesn’t have one of his own, so he sometimes makes friends with cats wandering the halls. We’ve all told him that he should probably stop, ah, borrowing, people’s cats, but he can’t seem to resist. Names Enzo by the way,” the boy says with a friendly smile, extending his hand out.

You take his hand, shaking it cautiously before a smile creeps it’s way onto your face.

“Thank you, Enzo.” You say, hesitating a moment before adding, “You know, Gladys is a picky bitch. Theo must be a pretty okay person if she let him carry her around.” You tell him before disappearing with your cat.

The second time your cat went missing, you honestly didn't realize she was missing at all. Theo had found his way down to the kitchens about a week after the original cat incident. That's how he thought of it anyway. The kitchens were one of his favorite places to lurk as not many students knew of the secret entrance behind one particular painting of a fruit bowl. The real attraction that often drew the brunette boy to the hidden sanctuary however, was the constant stream of cats that often visited the house elves who happily offered up dishes of cream and other treats. Plopping himself down on the floor next to a particularly populated bowl of milk, Theo's eyes were immediately drawn to a familiar set of glowing yellow orbs.

"Hello there, Gladys," he said hesitantly, decently sure that was the name called out by the pretty Ravenclaw girl who had stolen the cat from him a few nights ago.

Well, stolen in this case was rather relative, as the cat was technically hers, he supposed. Hearing her name however, the little black cat pranced over, nuzzling her head affectionately against his leg with a soft purr. Picking the sweet creature up into his arms, Theo stroked her soft fur, thinking back to his encounter with her owner, a grimace reaching his face.

He had been a downright bloody idiot. That was for certain. Theo was not usually one to be rendered incompetent by the mere presence of a pretty girl. No. That was meant more for Enzo. Or even Draco sometimes. But never Theodore. In fact, Theo had quite the reputation for his tendency to sleep around which made the idea of his mind completely blanking at the sight of this cat's owner all the more embarrassing. Matteo had made fun of him ruthlessly later that night. What had he said again? Right. Absolutely nothing. Just nodded like a right dunce.

The only solace Theo had gotten from that night was when Enzo pulled him aside quietly and told him what the pretty girl from earlier had said about him. "He must be pretty okay." It was hardly a compliment, but after the fool he'd made of himself, it really was the best Theo could hope for. Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Theo once again focused on the little beast snuggling contentedly in his arms, carefully scratching behind the ears, a spot he'd found the cat quite liked.

The sound of the entrance painting swinging open startled Theo; and he honestly wasn't sure if he was elated, or absolutely mortified that the very girl who had been previously plaguing his thoughts was stepping through into the kitchens.

You honestly weren't entirely surprised to see the boy from a few nights ago sitting on the floor, cradling your cat, when you entered the kitchens. After Enzo had admitted to you that the handsome brunette had a soft spot for the castle's feline population, you figured it was only a matter of time until you bumped into him here considering it was a hot spot for the four legged beasts.

"Hello. See you've managed to find my cat again," you say, offering a small smile to the boy in front of you. After your encounter with that particular group of Slytherins, you did a bit of asking around, finding that Theodore Nott, while a bit known for his escapades with the female population, was actually one of the more talented wizards of your year. And one of the more level headed. (But in comparison to Draco and Matteo, you weren't exactly sure how much credit to give him there.)

The boy blinks up at you once before seeming to find his voice.

"She's a sweet little thing," he says finally, clearing his throat and looking anywhere but you.

You cautiously move forward, more worried about spooking the boy in front of you than the cats. Sitting down, you allow a pretty little Siamese kitten to wander into your lap. Gladys hisses with jealousy, but remains snuggled in the arms of the boy.

"She really seems to like you. Bit surprising. She's really not much of a people person," you tell him.

Theo nods at you, an action you found yourself growing familiar with.

"Enzo told me." He replies curtly.

You open your mouth to respond, but don't quite know how, so you let an awkward silence roll over the two of you.

"Well, I find that Gladys is a very good judge of character," you say finally.

Theo lets out a small smile at this, continuing to stroke your cat's soft fur. After that, the two of you fall into a comfortable silence with Theodore continuing to shower your cat with affection while you distract the many other felines, crowding the kitchen floor.

"Theo?" you wonder finally, the question burning away at you. The boy looks up, and you find yourself getting lost in the surprisingly soft brown eyes staring back at you. Breaking from the trance with a small shiver, you ask, "If you like cats so much, why don't you have one of your own?"

Theo's eyes immediately fall, and his hand freezes mid pet, much to Gladys' dismay. A pang of guilt washes through you.

"My father isn't much of an animal person," He replies stiffly.

You give him a small nod in response before rising from the floor.

"It's getting pretty late, I should get going," you say softly. "Gladys can find her way back to the tower on her own just fine," you add when you see Theo make no move to release the cat.

Without another word, you move to open the portrait door. You enter the hall with a small smile gracing your lips as you hear his voice quietly as the door closes.

"Thank you, y/n."

He knew your name.

The next time Theo met Gladys was much sooner than he expected. He had left the kitchens several hours ago and was now laying in bed. The clock sitting on his bed side now read 1am. The deafening silence was about to finally lull him to sleep when an insistent scratching at the door caused his eyes to fly open. Sitting up, Theo glanced at the door warily before finally deciding to cross the room to find out what was causing the noise.

As soon as the door opened, a black shadow darted through, making a beeline for his bed. How it seemed to know exactly where it was going, Theo had no clue. Making his way silently back to his bed, careful not to wake either of his roommates, Theo was finally able to make out the dark shape of an ever familiar black cat.

"Hi there, principessa," he whispered, gently stroking the cat's ears before crawling into the bed next to it. Gladys seemed to take this as an invitation to curl up in the nook of his arm, and Theo wasn't about to object. The last thought he remembered before drifting off was how nice it would be if Gladys' pretty owner was there too.

"Theo, what the fuck."

Theo woke with a start, to the loud voice of Lorenzo Berkshire ringing out above him. His eyes opened to see the other boy hovering over his bed, a look of shocked confusion apparent on his face.

"Is that y/n's cat?" he asks, leaning down as if to get a closer look at the fluff ball still snuggled in Theo's arms.

"No way," Matteo laughs from the other side of the room. "You stole her cat again? What, is this some sick and twisted new way for you to lure girls into your bed?"

Theo launches a pillow at Matteo's head. He doesn't miss.

"You better go return that thing before y/n starts to worry," Enzo advises, going back to his own side of the room. "And maybe just ask her out while you're at it hmm?" He adds, quickly ducking behind his fourposter before Theo has the chance to send another pillow flying his way.

With a heavy sigh, Theo comes to a stop outside of what he's pretty sure is the Ravenclaw common room. He's about to raise his hand to knock, when the golden eagle head mounted to the door springs to life.

"What gets broken, without being held?" The eagle asks, blinking at him slowly.

Right. Theo knew about this. The most annoying of the common room doors because instead of a password, the bloody door required you to answer a riddle. Theo was about to turn on his heel to leave when he felt a light presence behind him.

"Hello Theo. Hello Gladys." The platinum blonde haired girl said, giving the two of them an airy nod, before turning her attention to the door. "Would it perhaps be, a promise?" she asks.

The door swings open and Theo quickly hurries after the girl, making his way up the staircase. He'd never actually been inside the Ravenclaw common room, and his breath hitched when they reached the top of the stairs. The main room really was magnificent, nothing like the dark, eerie dungeons of the Slytherin common room. Theo eyed the shelves of books lining the wall longingly.

"Her room is just there, up and to the left," the blonde girl he'd followed in says, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Y/n? Her room is just there," the girl repeats, gesturing to a door at the top of another small flight of stairs.

"Oh. thanks," Theo makes out, giving the girl a nod of gratitude.

"Name's Luna by the way. Luna Lovegood." She says whimsically before floating off.

With a deep inhale to calm his nerves, Theo makes his way up the stairs and knocks gently on the door. Gladys lets out a meow of protest. Absolutely nothing could have prepared Theo for what was on the other side of the door. He felt his throat go completely dry as the door swung open and you stood in front of him in what was probably the shortest, skimpiest set of clothing that could possibly be considered pajamas. Theo tried not to stare, he really did, but he was only a man. A very weak and smitten man.

"Oh! There you are Gladys. I wondered where you wandered off to last night!" you say looking at your cat and then back up at Theo, and then again at your cat before looking back up at Theo expectantly. "Um. May I have my cat back?"

Theo jolts back to life, realizing he'd been staring and looks at you sheepishly.

"Sorry, don't know how this little one found me. Snuck her way into the Slytherin common room and then into my dorm. Didn't want to leave her in the halls alone, so I let her stay the night," he tells you.

You stare at the boy in shock, realizing that was the longest string of words you'd ever heard out of him.

"Wow Theodore, I'm impressed. I think that's the most I've ever heard you talk. And here I was thinking you were secretly illiterate," you say with a playful grin.

"Please," the boy scoffs. "I'm the picture of eloquence."

Interested in where this sudden burst of confidence that you didn't normally see from him had come from, you take a step back, inviting him into your room. He hesitantly accepts your invitation, bringing Gladys along with him.

"No roommates?" he asks, perching on the edge of your bed as Gladys purrs softly on his lap. At the moment, you found nothing more attractive than this man absolutely pampering your beloved pet.

"Not many Ravenclaw girls in our year, we had the option to share, but most of us opted for solo rooms. Wanted the extra privacy, I suppose," you tell him, leaning on one of the posts at the end of your bed.

Theo nods his head at this.

"I have two roommates," he shares.

"One of them happen to be Enzo Berkshire?"

Theo nods again. "And Matteo. Riddle" he adds.

You cock your head at that with a grin.

"Interesting pairing," you comment, imagining the chaos those two must bring with them.

"It never gets boring," Theo responds.

A moment of silence passes.

"I was wondering if you wanted to study together sometime. I hear you're exceptionally talented at potions. And Charms. And everything really." Theo lets out finally.

You raise an eyebrow at the boy, internally screaming.

Trying to keep your cool, you tilt your head, "I hear you are too."

It's like a switch flips inside Theo.

"Well, we're obviously perfect for each other than," He replies easily, a cocky grin beginning to spread across his face. "Meet you in the library tomorrow at 7? And bring the cat."

You let out a laugh as Theo rises from the bed, gently placing Gladys down on the pillow, before going to make his way out of your dorm.

"You only like me for my cat," you joke, shifting to watch as he crosses the room to the door.

"Not just for your cat," he assures you, "I love the outfit, wear it for me more often, hmm?" he says slyly before the door thuds shut behind him.

You look down at your outfit, jaw dropping open and heat rushing to your cheeks.

Theo's head was pounding. Music pumped through the Slytherin common room and Theo could barely see through the crowds of people around him as he pushed his way to the circle of sofas occupied by his friends. Collapsing into a spot next to Matteo, the boy offered him another shot of who-knew-what which he quickly knocked back.

"When's that pretty little thing that's been occupying all your time gonna join us at one of our little gathering?" Matteo slurs out, gesturing to the large crowd around them.

Over the past several weeks, you and Theo had grown significantly closer; your first study date quickly becoming a daily occurrence as you found that you each were able to easily keep up with one another. Something about having a partner who was actually able to challenge you was exhilarating. From there, you found yourselves often seeking each other out simply for the sake of good company, Gladys largely increasing the number of these meetings.

"Don't know that Gladys would like it. Cat's aren't supposed to ingest alcohol," Theo responded, not quite drunk enough to fall for his friend's taunting.

Enzo places another shot in his hand, and Theo raises a brow at him, before knocking that one back as well.

"Did you ever ask y/n why in Salazar's name, she choose to name her cat Gladys?" Matteo asks. "If my name were Gladys, I'd being running off constantly too."

Theo thumps Matteo on the back of the head.

"You leave our cat out of this, she ain't do nothin wrong," he says, glaring at his friend.

"So now she's our cat is she?" Enzo asks, a smirk growing on his face. "Didn't know you and y/n were so serious."

"It's our cat damnit! If marrying y/n is what it takes to finally have a cat of my own, so be it," Theo says decidedly.

Enzo snorts at his clearly, very drunk friend. "Careful, or one might think you're only into her for her cat. And not the cunty kind."

Theo scowls at this. "Y/n says that all the time, but have you seen that ass? And the way she mopped the floor with Draco in potions the other day? She's perfect."

"Yeah? Why don't you go tell her that then?" Matteo says, wanting nothing more than to see a drunk Theo try to make his way to Ravenclaw Tower.

"You know what? I will. And I'll pet Gladys too." Theo states. A look of pure, intoxicated determination set on his face.

Lorenzo eyes his friend warily. While not exactly sober himself, he didn’t particularly like the look his friend was giving them.

“Aw c’mon Enz, don’t you try and be the voice of reason now,” Matteo drawls, sensing the hesitation coming from his friend. “Don’t you want to meet the lil thing our beloved Theodore has been obsessing over for weeks now?”

“I’m not obsessing,” Theo snaps, taking a sip straight out of a random bottle he’d picked up from the table.

“Let’s go. I’m gonna steal her cat. For real this time.”

With a wide grin, Matteo jumps up, ready to follow his friend wherever the night took him. With a low groan, Enzo followed suit, knowing that his pair of roommates would need some sort of guidance to prevent them from walking themselves straight of the edge of the astronomy tower.

You didn’t have a lot of expectations for the quiet Friday night that you were spending curled up with a book and your cat. It was late, and after a long and stressful week, the time alone with Gladys was just what you needed to really recharge. You had spent most of your day lounging out on the lawn next to the Black Lake with Theodore, studying with and harassing the boy. A small smile crept onto your face, remembering the way his brown curls had floated about in the soft breeze.

You really hadn’t expected for the two of you to become so close, so quickly, but you weren’t complaining. You’d grown quite fond of the boy, especially once he started opening up a bit more. You’d initially thought that he was a man of very few words, but quickly learned he was in fact very sharp witted and even a bit snarky at times. Time spent with him had easily become your favorite part of the day and was something you were constantly looking forward to.

A sharp knock jolted you from your thoughts, causing you to jump a bit where you were sitting, Gladys letting out a yowl of protest.

You quickly cross the room and open the door to find a very miffed looking Cho, a frown imbedded on her face.

“Sorry to bother, but could you please come get your boy under control? He’s upsetting the portraits.” She says.

You blink once. Then again.

“Sorry?”

“Your Slytherin fellow? He’s out in the corridor with two of his friends harassing the door,” she explains, turning to lead you down the spiral staircase.

You’re not even halfway down when you begin to hear the voices.

“Who in the bloody hell would want to be in Ravenclaw with this blast-ended skewt ass looking-“

“Matteo you can’t curse out the door.”

“I’ll curse at the bloody door if I want to bloody curse at it.”

You grimace, looking at Cho who looks back with a similarly displeased facial expression.

“Sorry bout them. I’ll take it from here,” you tell her when you reach the bottom.

With a slight nod, she turns to retreat back up the stairs. With a sigh, you push the door open, almost taking out Matteo who had been leaning on it for support.

“Hi amore, fancy seeing you here,” Theo slurs, a grin taking over his face at the sight of you.

Enzo leans against a pillar, face in hands, looking like he wanted to disappear. You could smell the alcohol on all of them.

“Hi Theodore. Are you sober?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“I’m moderately functional,” he replies with a lopsided smile.

“I’m taking that as a no,” you say, glancing worriedly at Matteo who was currently laying spread eagle on the floor. “Let’s get you boys back to your common room.”

“I wouldn’t. Party’s not gonna end any time soon. They’ll just get more hammered and start wandering off again,” Enzo advises, head still in hands. “Like herding hippogriffs with those two.”

“And Theo hasn’t proclaimed his undying love for y/n yet!” Matteo adds.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and Theo glowers at his friend.

“It’s okay Theo, I know he’s drunk,” you say, not certain if you were saying it more to comfort him or yourself.

Theo ignores you however, turning his attention back to the door.

“Let us in, I just want to pet the cat,” he tells the door, swaying ever so slightly.

For Salazar’s sake. Man gets absolutely wasted and just wants to pet your cat. You go to grab onto Theo to steady him, but he has other plans. Immediately, he wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your hair.

“Hi,” he mumbles, picking you up just enough that your toes barely touch the ground. “I missed you. Can we see the cat now?”

Not knowing what else to do, you glance helplessly at Enzo.

“Would you be able to get Matteo up the stairs?” You ask.

“I can try. He’s a stubborn bastard though.”

You turn back to the door, knocking once. The eagle once again moves to life, glaring at the scene in front of it.

“If the day before yesterday was the 23rd, what is the day after tomorrow?” It asks crankily.

“We’re too fucking wasted for this bloody bullshit,” Matteo moans from the floor.

You try to ignore Theo’s tight grasp on your waist and Enzo prodding at Matteo with his foot before answering. “The 27th.”

The door swings open and you try your best to haul Theo through, Enzo following closely behind with a very disgruntled Matteo. Dragging the boys up the staircase feels like the most difficult task of your life as you constantly tell Matteo to lower his voice and mind his mouth while also trying to ignore the very minimal distance between yourself and Theodore. When you finally make it to the top, you rush to herd the boys into your room before slamming the door shut behind you with relief. Theo immediately stumbles over to your bed, collapsing face first in the middle and snatching Gladys into his arms.

“No roommates?” Enzo asks, looking around the room and seeing the single empty bed that you had pushed into the corner at the beginning of the year.

“No, thank Rowena. I would not want to have to explain whatever this is.” You reply, motioning to Theo and Matteo who was now wandering about the room.

“Room’s a mess. Coulda at least cleaned up a bit,” he says, poking at the various books and blank scrolls lying about.

“Had I known I would be having guests at,” you glance at the clock, “almost 2 in the morning, I’m sure I would have.” You say dryly.

Retrieving your wand from your desk, you point it at the spare bed. “Engorgio.” The wooden frame creaks as it expands until it can comfortably fit 2 people. You look at Enzo.

“Good luck with that one,” you say, almost feeling sorry for the boy as Matteo flops onto the bed with a groan.

“Looks like you’re gonna need it more than me,” he replies, gesturing to Theo who was out cold, Gladys trapped and bug eyed in his grasp. With a sigh you and Enzo each resign yourselves to your respective charge.

“Theodore,” you whisper, giving the boy a light shove. No sign of life. You give him a slightly harder shove, allowing Gladys is wriggle out of her prison. Frowning, you sit down on the edge of the bed, using most of your body weight to shove Theo to one side of the bed before sliding under the covers. Now deeming it safe, Gladys hops back into the bed, nestling into your arms happily. You’re about to close your eyes when you feel arms snaking around your waste, pulling you into the very warm chest of Theodore Nott. You freeze, holding your breath, not sure if the boy is asleep or not.

“Goodnight mi amore,” he whispers into your neck, causing the hairs to prickle.

Definitely not asleep.

“Goodnight Theodore.”

You hadn’t had any expectations for the night really, but you definitely had not expected to have multiple overnight guests who were trying to steal your cat. And you most certainly did not expect to drift off in the arms of Theodore Nott.

The next morning you wake up missing the usual lump of fur weighing down on your chest. Immediately you bolt upright, eyes shooting around for any sign of your furry companion before the events of last night wash over you. Enzo and Matteo are both still out cold and when you look down, your jaw drops open. Theo is fast asleep, back facing you, Gladys snoozing contentedly while cradled in his arms. Even in his sleep this absolute tosser had managed to steal your damn cat.

Careful not to wake the boys, or Gladys, you silently sneak across the room and disappear out the door. Once you’re safely out of hearing distance, you make your way quickly down the kitchens. A little known fact about the Hogwarts house elves was that many had once served in the homes of different wizarding families at one time or another. This meant that many of the elves were all too familiar with the valuable hangover potion that you sought.

Ducking in through the portrait hole, it wasn’t difficult to persuade the elves into handing over 3 glistening blue vials. You had always been kind to them, often chatting with them during your visits with the cats.

Your task complete, you made your way back to Ravenclaw tower, taking your time as you didn’t expect the boys to be up any time soon. They really had been plastered. Not even Enzo had been completely sober you recalled.

You’re just passing the entrance to the dungeons when a voice calls out.

“Hey! You!”

You’re ready to continue on your way before noticing that there was no one else in the corridor they could be referring to. You turn to see two girls you recognized as the Greengrass sisters hurrying towards you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” the shorter blonde girl says when they get closer. You’re pretty sure that one is Astoria. “You’re the girl Theo has been seeing right?”

You nod your head cautiously. You knew Theo had a reputation for getting around, so if that’s what this was about, things were about to become quite awkward.

“You haven’t happened to see him or Matteo or Lorenzo, have you?” The other girl, Daphne, asks.

“Draco said he saw the three of them leave the party together last night, but no one saw them come back,” Astoria explains.

You feel yourself immediately relax. Good. At least this was something you could help with.

“You two are lucky you found me then I suppose,” you tell them, gesturing for them to follow. “The three of them tried breaking into Ravenclaw tower last night, so I let them crash in my dorm.”

“Oh Salazar. Were they trying to steal your cat? I’m so sorry. When Matteo gets drunk he has a tendency to try and egg Theo on,” Astoria frets.

You give the girls a strange look. “You know about my cat?” You ask, surprised.

“Oh sure,” Daphne replies. “Whole group does really. Boys came back one night going on about how Theo was just smitten with some Ravenclaw with a cute cat. And I can see why. You’re gorgeous by the way.”

You blush at her statement, diverting the subject away.

“The boys should probably still be asleep. I just ran down to the kitchens to get these,” you tell them, brandishing the potions you had gathered. “Once they’ve downed these, they’re all yours.”

Astoria eyes the potions with jealousy and you realize the two girls were probably decently hung over as well.

“Oh you can keep Theo, we were really just looking to collect Enzo and Matt,” Daphne laughs, giving you a sly look. You open your mouth to reply, but stop realizing you had reached your common room door.

After a few attempts, you’re finally able to solve the blasted riddle and the door swings open.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had this many Slytherins in our common room before,” you joke, leading the girls up to your room.

Pushing the door open, you’re unsurprised to see the boys still passed out.

“This must be the infamous Gladys,” Daphne whispers, quietly approaching Theo who was still clutching onto Gladys as if his life depended on it. Again you’re surprised that these girls apparently even knew the name of your cat.

The two coo at the sight of your cat, coming to the conclusion that she was indeed worthy of warranting cat theft before Astoria finally decided it was time for them to get the boys out of your hair. They migrated over to the other side of the room where Enzo and Matteo were sound asleep, leaving you to deal with Theo.

You decide the easiest route, may just be to lure Gladys away, so you fetch her food dish before accio-ing her kibble container. At the sound of her food, Gladys was up and running, darting over for her morning feast. At the sudden loss of fluffy heat, Theo groaned, rolling over, face down into the pillows. After giving Gladys her food, you move back to Theo, giving him a rough shake.

“Come back to bed principessa,” he grumbles, reaching out and flailing his arm in your general direction.

“It’s time to get up Theodore. Come on, I got you three hangover potions,” you say, waving one over his head.

“Did someone say hangover potion? Give,” Matteo demands from the other side of the room. You look over to see Daphne and Astoria sitting on the side of the bed while Matteo and Enzo were groggily waking up.

Pulling out her wand, Daphne gestured for you to toss her the potions which her magic catches easily, levitating the vials over to the other two boys. Matteo snatches one out of the air, quickly downing half before offering the other half to Astoria. Enzo does the same, giving the second half to Daphne who graciously accepts. After a moment, the four of them are looking much more awake.

“Thanks for making sure these three didn’t drown themselves in the lake,” Astoria says, once the potion had really kicked. “And sorry you’re not having more luck with that one. He’s always been a late riser.”

“You’ll be lucky to get him up in the next hour,” Enzo agrees, rising from the bed. “Thanks again y/n.”

The four of them shuffle out of your dorm, a chorus is thanks and apologies strung along until they reached the door. Even Matteo gave you a nod of gratitude. Once they were all gone, you collapse once more onto your bed.

“They finally gone?” You hear Theo ask, as he rolls over to look at you. You nod, faces so close that your noses are practically touching and you can feel small puffs of air as he exhales. “Thanks for last night. I’m sorry for trying to steal your cat.”

You let out a snort at that. “Did you know when I woke up this morning, you had turned away from me completely, and stolen my cat away from me in your sleep?” You ask with a laugh.

Theo at least has the decency to look embarrassed as Gladys joins the two of you once more.

“I should do this more often,” Theo says finally, reaching out to stroke Gladys’s fur.

“What? Get downright plastered and break into my room, or steal my cat?” You scoff.

“Sleep in your bed with you.”

You freeze, looking up to see if the boy was being serious. His eyes blink back at you unwavering.

“You can come back any time,” you tell him, snuggling your way into his chest, ready to fall back asleep in the boy’s arms.

“Will Gladys be here?”

“Oh my god, yes she will be here,” you say dramatically throwing your head back.

Theo grins down at you, leaning in and pressing his lips softly against yours.

“I’m only joking amore,” he says, pressing another kiss to the top of your nose.

“Of course Gladys would be here, she adores me.”

“Get out of my bed.”

A/N

My biggest regret in life, is being highly allergic to cats </3

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eglerieth · 7 months

Text

Some of y’all are not appreciating Bilbo Baggins enough. I am here to remedy that. This guy has:

• somehow managed to establish himself as a respectable, staid hobbit by the time he was fifty, despite being both a grandson of Bullroarer Took and the Shire champion of pretty much every aiming-game known to hobbitkind

• had an in-depth debate on pleasantries with a random guy passing by in the street, who turned out to be GANDALF

• collapsed in front of his own fire shaking and muttering “struck by lightning” over and over again in response to hearing about dragons and danger

• mind you, this was after he screamed loud enough to startle a roomful of Dwarves

• signed up for a dangerous quest completely outside of his league out of spite

• when told to scout out a mysterious light, saw some trolls, and instead of reporting back with the information, decided to PICK THE TROLLS POCKET

• arrived in Rivendell for the first time and said it “smelled like elves”

• upon meeting a strange creature that visibly wanted to eat him, he decided to play a riddle game with him- and guessed pretty much every one, and made up his own riddles, afraid and alone, that not only were good and full of linguistic puns, but actually stumped the other guy- AND THEN CHEATED AND WON WITH A QUESTION

• showed mercy to said strange creature who wanted to kill him, and was now standing between him and freedom

• eavesdropped on the dwarves arguing over whether to try to save him, then popped up casually smack in the middle of them just as they were debating

• somehow managed to sleep like a log at the really really high eyrie full of wild predators

• found himself in a bad situation, said eff it, and turned around and antagonized and fought off an insane amount of man eating spiders, like enough of them that fifty was a small portion, by singing at them with incredibly complex and punny insulting songs composed on the spot, while simultaneously slaying them in multitudes despite having zero combat training. Seriously, we don’t discuss enough how epic the spider scene is.

• broke a company of dwarves out of the very secure prison of the Elvenking by inventing white water rafting with barrels

• charmed his way out of being eaten by a dragon

• stole the frickin Arkenstone from the guys who employed him, one of whom was a king

• took part in an epic battle, only to be knocked out in the first ten minutes and miss the entire thing

• was named elf-friend by the guy who’s prisoners he sprung

• wrote his own autobiography, complete with all the narrative recognition of his own heroics

• spent 60 years writing said autobiography

• taught his lower class neighbor’s kid how to read

• taught his nephew Elvish- not only Sindarin, but Quenya too

• spent decades telling his cousins his own story as fairy tales, complete with character impressions accurate enough that one of them was able to fool a servant of the Enemy with a second hand impression

• used the One Ring of Power to hide from his neighbors

• planned an elaborate feast with multiple social faux pas to mess with his neighbors, complete with a purposefully bewildering speech and culminating in him vanishing into thin air in front of everyone

• left his cousins and neighbors very unsubtle passive aggressive gifts in his will

• settled into Rivendell, randomly befriended the heir to the throne of like half of Middle Earth, and apparently spent his time writing very personal poems about his hosts and reciting them to crowds of elves

• after being invited to a Council of basically every major kingdom in the continent, spent a quarter of the time reciting vague poems about his friends, a quarter of the time telling anyone who would listen about his heroic past, and half the time interrupting to ask when lunch would be

• volunteered to bring the ring to Mordor

• became one of only four or five mortals in history to live in Valinor

Seriously, Bilbo Baggins may well be the most chaotic, insane person in the entire legendarium, and that includes the likes of people like Finrod “bit a werewolf to death to save the life of guy who he just met and gave up his kingdom for” Felagund.

#eglerieth #tolkien #lotr #silmarillion #lord of the rings #hobbits #the hobbit #bilbo baggins #bilbo

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neckromantics · 3 months

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Waking up to find that Astarion is missing after going out for a hunt the night before. Going on a search for him, only to find him sprawled out in the grass somewhere just outside of camp, basking in the warmth of the sun.

He came out of his tent at dawn to greet the sunlight and just dropped into trance after lying down to feel it. Might have even fallen asleep– a rather rare thing for elves to do at his age, even rarer for a vampire. He has one arm slung over his face to shield his eyes, the other folded to rest a hand against the soft, pale skin of his bare chest.

He looks so peaceful that you would absolutely hate to disturb him. Would definitely threaten the well-being of anyone else who dared to. So you don't.

You just sit a little off to the side (like a bit of a creep) and watch. Watch the rise and fall of his belly as he pulls in unneeded, soft breaths to take in the scent of the morning air. Watch as his head lulls to the side, letting you catch the slightest glimpse of one of his eyes. Pale lashes contrast with the rosy pink of his cheeks. It's a flush that spreads over the bridge of his nose, too. Down his neck. All the way to the points of his ears. He looks warm to the touch.

Your hands twitch at your sides. Breath catches in your throat at how ethereal your love is. He's beautiful to you always, of course, but there's something especially sweet about seeing him like this. Warm. Happy. The most relaxed you've ever seen him.

You wait there with him until he wakes. Until the commotion of the others in camp as they get ready for the day becomes loud enough for him to stir. His lips, pouty from slumber, smacking lightly as his arms reach out above him, back forming an arch as he stretches until his spine gives a nice crack. His little moan of satisfaction has your own cheeks going warm, and even warmer still as he catches your scent on his next inhale and turns to look at you.

Eyes glassy. Lids heavy. He gives two, hypnotizingly slow blinks as he takes in your form. Up and down. Studying you just as much as you were him only moments before.

There's this smile that comes just before he slips into that usual smirk of his. A genuine, awfully content little thing. The sight of which you will be replaying in your head an endless amount of times, perhaps for the rest of your life.

You can't even hear his comment on just how creepy it is for you to be watching him sleep because you're too busy trying not to swoon.

And the sound of his voice when he's just woken? Forget about it.

#bg3 #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #bg3 tav #astarion headcanons #astarion fluff #hehehe #warm

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