#crack taken seriously | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dcxdpdabbles · 5 months

Text

The Royal Consort Part 4

Danny smiles awkwardly as Mr. Paresh once again talks about his business. He is still determining why the man keeps repeating the annual profits or benefits for his investors as he carefully sips his sparkling cider.

He tones the man out after he starts again, gazing over the lavished banquet hall. Bruce Wayne really went all out for this gala. There were people in suits and dresses that cost more than his family car, strutting around and ignoring the large spread of deserts and drinks.

Danny has no idea how. He has already gotten a plate of fudge and sparkling cider from a world-renowned chef, never before tasting anything better. He would have gotten more, but he gets stopped whenever he tries to cross the room.

All everyone wants to talk about is his "husband," his "husband's" money, or their company and business. The night has blended into a weird mix of the three topics, and he will be hard-pressed to recite any of the information.

It's not that it isn't interesting, but Danny keeps getting the feeling that he's being talked down to. Or swindled.

But maybe that's just his insecurities talking. Danny isn't sure how he would ever come clean about his lies now. If he ever could.

The world believed that an inter-dimensional war would break out if he so much as had an argument with Phantom. Tucker had sent him the link to the political debates about it.

Imagine people finding out after all of that, that he lied and claimed he was married to himself? No.

That is not going to happen.

Danny would take this secret to his second grave.

"Your cooperation would be greatly beneficial to both parties. Wouldn't you agree, Mr. Phantom?" The man finishes, and Danny snaps his attention back to him. What did he call him? Oh no, did Mr. Paresh figure him out? And what was that about cooperation? Was he going to blackmail Danny?

Danny isn't sure what kind of expression he is making, but it must have looked bad for Tim Wayne to make his way over quickly. He's been hovering since the gala started.

In fact, all the Waynes have been hovering ever since they rescued him from the paparazzi. They took him back to the manor, where Alfred had been kind enough to make him some tea to help calm him down.

It was a bit awkward. Mostly because he had been somewhat shaky from the encounter, and they had been hyper-aware of future-him's threat to destroy the world if he was harmed.

Not that Danny would, but the Waynes didn't need to know that.

"Excuse me, Mr. Paresh, I need to speak to Mr. Fenton for a moment," Tim says with an easy smile and a smooth side-step that allows him to steer Danny away.

Mr. Paresh tries to protest, but Tim masterfully ignores him. With sure steps, an easy smile, and a hand on the small of Danny's back, Tim has him out of the crowd into the open air of a balcony, and Danny can feel himself breathing again.

"Thanks for the save," He tells Tim, leaning on the railing overlooking the garden.

The other teenager offers him a crooked smile. "Don't mention it. Mr. Paresh can be a bit pushy when it comes to investors."

"Is that what he wanted?" Danny asks surprised.

"Yes, even he wouldn't be dumb enough to hit on a Royal Consort," Tim tells him jokingly, but something about how he says it makes Danny feel like he is not joking. In fact, it's almost like Tim is trying to appease any foul mood the mislabeled "flirting" would cause.

Strange.

"Too bad. I don't have any money. It all belongs to Phantom." Danny sighs.

"Many spouses here are investors using their partner's funds. It's not a surprise you be approached for King Phantom's vaults." Tim explained with a helpless shrug that seemed far too regal for such a casual action.

Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Danny sighs. "Phantom would never be interested in human business affairs"

Tim eyes gleam "why?"

"We don't live very long to a being like him. Our businesses would be like a snap of his fingers, and he wouldn't make up any profits that could match whatever he put into it"

The other teen makes a noise in the back of his neck but doesn't say anything after that. Danny slumps more onto the railing, allowing his chin to rest on his crossed arms.

The necklace that got him until this mess swings about accidentally hitting the metal. It's loud clack echoes as the silence between the two stretches.

After a moment, Danny speaks up, eyes trained on the tree line that has provided a screen of privacy.

"Are there still paparazzi at the gates?"

"Yes." Tim scoffs. Even without turning to look at him, Danny knows the other is frowning. "Bruce hired private bodyguards- Bowhunter Security- to keep them out, but they will hound you for the rest of your life likely. I'm sorry."

Danny shrugs even if a part of him shivers up into a ball at the thought of those camera flashes and pushy people hoping to capture something they can exploit. "I figured. They bothered Princess Diana like that too."

Neither speaks for a moment, allowing the gentle cold wind of the night air to brush over them. Danny, for a second, closes his eyes and lets himself sink into the welcoming silence.

He nearly falls asleep there, even going as far as to close his eyes and slow his breathing but just as he's about to drop off into his dreams, Tim lets out a startled gasp.

"King Phantom!"

What.

Ripping open his eyes, Danny can only stare in absolute shock as a green portal ripples before him, much like it had done a few days ago in Wayne's car. It's larger than before, the size of a large door, which makes it easier for Phantom to step out of.

He is dressed to the nines, his kingly attire screaming wealth even if it seems to be from a few centuries back. Its dark blues and whites highlighted his figure, and the black overthrown cape gave him a commanding presence.

White hair pushed back in a stylish tousle mess, it gave his flouting crown that much more alluring sight to behold. Danny's eyes were imminently drawn to another one of Clockwork's medallions resting comfortably around Phantom's neck.

No. Danny thinks faintly as Phantom- his future self, the asshole-winks at him. Please let this be a nightmare.

Alas, it is not, for Phantom takes his hand and brings it up to press a kiss against his knuckles. "Good evening, Darling. I have come to escort you to the gala."

"The hell you are" Danny hisses, yanking his hand away. Tim shifts uncomfortably at his side as Phantom tilts his chin to the nearby windows.

Risking a peak over his shoulder, Danny bites back a groan of frustration as multiple guests press themselves against the glass, gawking at the king of dead.

A few even have their phones out recording.

the portal's glow must have attracted guests' attention. Dammit it all

"Darling, I know I missed our anniversary because of my work, but please let me make it up to you." Phantom all but begs. He steps forward to drag Danny into a tight hug where he proceeds to whisper into his ear, using ghost delict.

"Alien invasion on the way. Batman and Superman die tonight trying to stop it. The world goes to Dan's level of bad. Clockwork wants us to handle it. Play. Along."

Of course, there is. Why not?

Danny wants to scream, wants to punch something very hard, but all he can do is whisper back. "What causes it?"

"Some idiot in this crowd cares for the key that portals the invading fleet. We will blow it up as the invading forces try to get through; we just have to find the person and not let them activate it beforehand." Phantom grips his hand harder, teeth turning just a bit sharper. "They killed Jazz first."

Oh, this is personal.

"Who is our first suspect?"

"Suspects," Phantom corrects, pressing him even closer, and to the onlookers, it seems sweet and devoted to his human. None of them know the chill in the air is due to Phantom's ire and not the cold winter. "The Waynes were conveniently gone when that thing opened."

Danny's eyes, against his will, almost flicker over to Tim, and he is startled by the calculative look in those blue eyes before it is swiftly hidden. Shit, and he liked the Waynes.

"I swear," Phantom says, stepping back now speaking in English and offering a boyish smile, that does nothing to hide the rage in his eyes,. "The Waynes are no threat to my family, Darling."

Everyone hears the words, but they all believe what King Phantom said has a different meaning.

The crowd thinks the Waynes had somehow implied an attack on the royal ghost house, maybe a faux pas for not knowing ghost culture while hosting Danny. Team Phantom thinks Danny is accusing the Waynes of ending the world.

But what do the Waynes hear?

"This is bad B. I think Danny Fenton is accusing the Waynes of trying to steal his husband." The teenager whisper-shouts into his phone, trying to hide from the embraced couple speaking in a strange language on the balcony.

"Tim, what did you do?!" Bruce yells back.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Tell Drake to stop being a homewrecker before the King declares war on us, Father!" Damian is heard over speakers, likely crowding around the phone like his siblings. Tim can see them now, hidden away in a closet, trying to listen to the call between Tim and Bruce the moment Bruce went for his phone.

"I am not a homewrecker!"

"That's right, Tim is not a homewrecker! Phantom has two hands. he can have two loves!" Dick passionately defends.

"He also has an undead army." Duke says, "Which we would like to avoid attacking us. Tim, come on, the man is married, back up."

"No, no, no, Dick is onto something there. I say seduce them both!" Steph shouts like she is commanding him to rush the frontlines of a battlefield.

"You should dance for them. Like birds." Cass adds.

"Yeah, Tim, shake some ass for the good of mankind," Jason snickers.

"None of this is helpful!"

"Tim, just please try to calm the King down." Bruce cuts in, sounding both severe and tired. "We really can't afford this war."

Tim risks glancing toward the royals and has to swallow a gulp at the twin-set stare that bores into his soul. It's unnerving how similar they are- but then again, Phantom changed his form to match Danny's in an odd Ghost tradition of love.

A love that he believed was being threatened with unfaithfulness due to Tim- or the other Waynes!

How was he ever going to calm someone like that down?

"I'll try."

He just hopes it's enough to get it through the evening.

#dcxdpdabbles #the royal consort #Part 4 #Danny and Phantom trying to save the world #While Tim is being accused of being loose #crack taken seriously #Was told to write a warning of selfest #even if its a lie and a cover up #Clockwork sending Danny to save the world again

1K notes · View notes

laceybarbedwire · 3 months

Text

Okay, so, silly thought, but taking the idea of Duela Dent as Jason's adoptive daughter...Damian has next to no respect for Jason. So, I'm imagining Damian hearing about this, and immediately tracking Duela down for training.

He's an uncle now, and the Joker has already used Duela to hurt Jason once, so it's time for him to take an interest in his niece's wellbeing and education.

Duela's down to learn how to punch things better, and it's fun to mess with the kid anyway, so she just rolls with it.

Dick follows with popcorn and some books on teaching.

#duela dent #damian wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #batfam #batfam shenanigans #crack taken seriously #jason todd and duela dent #jokers daughter

64 notes · View notes

my-favourite-zhent · 7 days

Text

Folks, there's no stopping them now. Another addition to the Zhentil Keep Learning Library has been dropped.

The perverts this time around include:

@beesht @grossestjay @commander-krios @coreene @dustdeepsea @littleplasticrat @lizziemajestic @thisaccountisagainstmywill @theycallmeratt @tellmeallaboutit

Our beautiful kitty gif was created by @dustdeepsea from a render by @thisaccountisagainstmywill

For your reading (dis)pleasure we present a prequel of sorts: Seven Positions of Highly Successful People

#bg3 smut #bad smut #literal torture #rugan bg3 #bg3 rugan #rugan x tav #tav x rugan #bg3 edit #rugan #tav #bg3 #the gods will never forgive us #literary torture #round rugan #zhentil keep perverts #crack taken seriously #Seven Positions of Highly Successful People #zhentil keep learning library

29 notes · View notes

ofoceansandtombsanew · 1 year

Text

could you trust them with your houseplants? blue lock edition

a/n: crack treated seriously for all the plant havers, lovers and other enthusiasts. i did this for another fandom i write for and figured ‘why not blue lock’ after talking with my friend @cafedanslanuit about what plant i’d give her and reo as a housewarming gift

a no question. your plants are thriving like you never left to begin with. probably your go to plant sitter if something comes up and you have to leave for a while. you will definitely come home to your plants not only being alive but in pristine condition. maybe there will even be a new leaf sprouting when you come back. responsible, reliable, and you can rest easy knowing if another situation arises where you have to leave your plants will be fine.

chigiri (royalty recognizes royalty because your plants do well in his hands. he tends to your plants as carefully as he tends his leg and his hair. just make sure your plant is pet friendly because if it isn’t, it’s not coming in his house)

kunigami (looked up plant care guides and youtube videos because he refuses to let one of your plants die after you left him in charge of them. might even consider getting a plant of his own afterwards since he enjoyed the experience of checking on the little guys after practice or a bad game. it made him feel a little better to be distracted caring for something else)

rin (you’d think he’d be bad but he manages to fit plant care into his meticulous schedule with no mistakes)

barou (he complains that your plants are pest bringers but he takes care of them quite well and none of them ever have infestations on his watch because he checks them everyday. if something is even a little off, he is right on it)

the ‘technically a no question’ wild card:

nagi (it depends on how high maintenance your plant is. if it is low maintenance like choki, great. your plant is thriving because the man barely had to do anything for it. but you’ve got something a bit more high maintenance like a calathea or a peace lily, nagi will be struggling. but just how he sprung into action when he saw reo distraught that they might lose, even if your plant is high maintenance he tries his best because he knows how much it means to you)

do not leave your houseplants under any circumstances with these individuals because you will come back to less plants than you started with. if they even remember to water them, they will definitely water them too much. even if your plant manages to recover from the lack of proper care, they’re never the same afterwards. no you’re not being dramatic, plant murderer, you know how your plants are like on a good day and it has been nothing but bad day after bad day since you’ve come back

ryuusei (why did you even ask him to watch it in the first place? that was your first mistake and you just have to live with the consequences now. he probably killed them on purpose, just to fuck with them. threw hard vodka on them and everything)

reo (bro can’t keep a plant alive to save his own life and neither of you know why. you swear he touched your zz for one second and it flopped over immediately. YOUR FUCKING ZZ! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF THE TOP HARD TO KILL PLANTS. he becomes a houseplant serial killer afterwards because he keeps buying plants over and over again swearing ‘this time will be different’ but the end result is all the same)

sae (he literally forgot that you asked and watered none of your plants. he eventually noticed them after the wilting and then sent you a text of them going ‘my bad. i’ll get you some new ones’)

you HAD a plant. now it is theirs and there’s no way you’re getting it back when you return home. they developed an emotional attachment to your plants through the many odd hours of talking to them randomly and getting excited when a new leaf or bloom would sprout on a stem. now your plants have been conveniently relocated to their room and any decisions about said plant needs to be passed by them. apparently you don’t appreciate “little rain” enough. yes, they even named it

isagi (if you aren’t living together yet, he is coming up with excuses as to why he can’t bring it back yet. he’s sure that little noel noa might have mealy bugs and we can’t have that spreading to the new monstera you bought right? when you tell him there’s no bugs on it though and to return your baby, he looks like that photo his mom showed you of him of when he was a toddler holding holding his football closely to his chest as he holds little noel noa and you can’t help but cave)

bachira (bro bought a houseplant stroller to take your plant on walks, put stickers on their pot and would probably take it to watch him practice if isagi didn’t draw a line on bringing plants to practice. when you ask for your plant back he just goes “our plant, babe”)

#look she's writing #headcanons #crack taken seriously #i did this for genshin might as well do this for bllk too #chigiri x reader #kunigami x reader #rin x reader #barou x reader #nagi x reader #ryuusei x reader #reo x reader #sae x reader #isagi x reader #bachira x reader

213 notes · View notes

iateyourfav · 2 months

Text

Beastification - Chapter 1

Cid sends the Bad Batch on a mission to rescue a certain Mr Beast from the grasp of Jabba the Hutt. After they retrieve him, something changes. There's something different about Mr Beast and they can't tell for certain what it is. Will they ever get rid of Mr Beast?

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, I'm trying to be serious about this.

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, canon violence, indication of mpreg (sfw), Mr Beast talks to a invisible camera, Lore breaking content

Words: 881

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...

Read on ao3

Cid hadn‘t told them much about the mission, as usual, but still, something felt fishy about this one. What was most suspicious was that Cid had this slight smirk on her face the entire briefing while she neglected details on whatever would await them at their destination in favor of talking about how they would thank her for this mission once they come back.

Tensions were high on the Marauder. Everyone hoped Cids indications would mean better payment this time around. While Omega was asleep in her Gunner Mount/Room the rest of the batch gathered in the cockpit.

Wrecker, who sat in the copilot seat, broke the silence first. „I don‘t know what’s going on with Cid and this mission. I just hope we‘re gonna get paid and not killed.“ He crossed his arms, pouting.

„It will be a rather simple extraction. To be completely honest, calling it a pick-up would be more fitting. We will meet the target on Mos Eisley. Though I do wonder how they ended up there and why we are sent to bring them back. This mission seems to mock our abilities“ Tech replied, sounding just slightly angry at this extraction not having to make use of his heightened intelligence. „We‘re approaching Tatooine.“

Hunter leaned against the back wall, brows furrowed. He didn’t like this. Usually, when they were sent on simpler missions, only two of them would go, but Cid insisted they would need all hands on deck on this one. It didn‘t make sense to him. Deep in thought, he almost didn‘t notice the small hands pulling on his arm.

„It‘s gonna be fine, Hunter, don‘t worry. It could be fun!“ Omega smiled up at him, excited as ever. Of course, she had never been to Tatooine before, so that fact alone made her excited to go through on this mission. Though that excitement quickly vanished.

“You‘re staying on the ship. The mission is simple, but we‘re not gonna take you into Jabba's Palace. That place is swarming with scum.“ And with that, her smile dropped.

Hunter knelt down to be able to talk to her face to face. „It‘s for the better. It‘s nasty in there, you wouldn‘t wanna see it anyways.“ Her patted her on the shoulder before standing up again. By this time they already entered the atmosphere of the planet and were getting ready to land in front of Jabba‘s Palace.

Shortly after leaving the ship the batch found themselves in front of the massive doors leading into the Hutt's Palace.

“I‘ve only heard horror stories about this place. Can‘t say I‘m excited to go in there.“ Echo commented with an already disgusted look on his face, despite not even having entered the building yet. „It‘s gonna be a quick job. We‘ll be in and out in no time. We just pay the bail and leave with the target, that‘s it.“ Hunter responded.

This triggered an annoyed huff from Wrecker. „Great, another mission where we can‘t blow anything up.“ The gates were opened for them and quickly after placed in front of Jabba to state their business.

„We‘re here to bail out one of your captives.“ Hunter tried to keep the conversation short, not desiring to speak to the Hutt more than necessary. Tech handed over the payment to one of Jabba‘s servants at the same time, also wanting to leave as fast as possible. To nobody‘s surprise, all of them felt uneasy in an establishment like this, with bounty hunters all around.

The protocol droid finally translated whatever Jabba was saying. „Your prisoner will be brought up shortly. Jabba wishes for you to leave with him as quickly as you can, he can not bear to hear any more of his voice.“

Just then their target was brought in, a sight to behold. He walked in, with the most dazzling blue eyes any of them had ever seen. Body moving in a perfect curve, hair just shaggy enough, and beard perfectly trimmed. He looked at them, one after another, through perfectly curled lashes.

It took Hunter hitting his shoulder for Wrecker to snap back out of this state of hypnosis. „Wrecker, get him.“

His cheeks turned slightly red before going up to the hostage and taking him from Jabba‘s guards. They immediately made their way towards the exit. Wrecker tried to ignore the fact that he was guiding this incredibly attractive man out of imprisonment.

The man‘s head turned towards him, ever so slightly and elegantly, like every movement he had seen from him so far. „THANK YOU.“ he whispered. This wasn‘t directed at them as a group, but exclusively at Wrecker, making his face grow even hotter. He could only muster up a grunt as a response, feeling flustered.

Omega waited for them in front of the Marauder.

“I told you to stay inside.“ Hunter shouted towards the girl, slightly irritated. „I‘m fine. I got bored so I wanted to at least wait outside for you.“ she yelled back. Then, her glance shifted from Hunter to the hostage her brothers were bringing with them. Her eyes widened, jaw dropped.

Everybody stopped in their tracks, expecting the worst from Omega‘s facial expression. A ambush, maybe. But her eyes rested on their acquired target.

“Woah, is that Mr Beast??????“

26 notes · View notes

kuukiha · 7 months

Text

humidity

anton and sohee get high in their hotel room

*tee hee :>

their kisses were sloppy and lazy, spit coating their lips as they licked over each others teeth like feverish zombies.

sohee moaned out, high pitched and breathy as anton pulled him closer. they could barely breathe, but the dizzines from lack of air only made everything feel more unreal.

sohee took the liberty of climbing onto anton's lap, drawing a deep moan from the younger as his knee sweeped against his crotch. anton's big hand pawed at sohee's chest, his knuckles grazed over his hardened nipples and pulled a gasp from him.

when anton had told sohee that he'd brought some weed to the hotel room, sohee was sure that the fbi was going to swat their room in the next five minutes. that was, until anton had explained that weed was legal in the state they were in, and that the worst that would happen is a scolding from the hyungs and a few dirty looks from the staff after paying the extra fees for smoking in the hotel room, then sohee was fully down.

sure, he'd never smoked before (he'd never even seen a cigarette in person until he turned 16), but anton was more than willing to teach him.

sohee was actually pretty surprised at how experienced anton seemed to be at it all, even making tricks with the smoke as he breathed it out.

"i never knew you were a smoker, anton." sohee said quietly, tilting his head a bit as anton placed his blunt (pre-rolled, anton had taught him that term) into the ashtray.

anton chuckled a bit, his bangs falling into his slightly pink eyes.

"there's a lot you don't know about me, sohee." he gave a slick smirk, making sohee roll his eyes. he almost acknowledged the lack of honorifics, but decided to let it slide.

besides, they were far past that at this point.

anton had gotten sohee out of his clothes faster than he could register it, throwing them off to the side. his lips seemed to be everywhere at once - attacking his lips and then his neck and then his chest.

sohee tried to slow anton down a bit, but his thoughts couldn't move as fast as anton's body did.

"a-anton, wait.." he gasped softly as anton's dry tongue lapped over one of his nipples, making his hips buck slightly.

"hm? fuck am i waiting for?" sohee couldn't really understand what he was saying since he was speaking in English, but it was sexy nonetheless.

"fuck! fuck, just-" anton giggled at him, small and cute as he looked up at him with those pretty eyes.

sohee could barely see him in the darkness, but he could see the raging lust that lay behind his hooded lids. it was so conflicting how something so cute could be so sexy all at once, but sohee didn't dwell on it.

"so how the hell do i actually do this?" sohee asked, holding the blunt like it was some unearthly object. anton rolled his eyes.

"you take a deep breathe and hold it, then let it out." sohee gave him a skeptical look as he dug a water bottle out from his backpack.

"it's gonna burn, you're gonna cough, too. drink some water afterwards." sohee pouted a bit, taking the water that anton had given him.

"how come you don't cough after?" anton giggled a bit.

"i've been smoking since i was 13, that's why." sohee's eyes went a bit wide, but he didn't question it.

he wrapped his lips around the blunt, noticing how closely anton was inspecting him, before taking in a deep breath. attempting to, anyways.

the cough he let out was treacherous, surely waking that entire floor. he felt like his vocal chords were bleeding, like he was gonna puke, and anton was laughing at him.

"shit, i didn't think you'd be this bad at it. i didn't even cough that hard when i tried the first time." sohee glared at him with watery eyes, pounding at his chest to help himself regain his breath.

"okay, look, give it back. i'll show you, okay?"

sohee let out a loud moan as he slid inside of anton's slippery hole. he wondered how he could already be so loose, when did he even have time to prep himself? he didn't really care if he was being honest, the feeling was too overwhelming for him to think about anything except for staving off his orgasm.

anton's back arched as sohee gripped his hips harder, nearly making him drop their blunt onto the bed - that really would've pissed the hotel staff off.

"fuck, sohee, deeper!" anton whined out, his typically soft voice getting just a little louder than usual. sohee chuckled at how cute he was.

"hm.. that's hyung to you." anton gave him a deadpan look, a little scary considering how low and red his eyes were, but sohee giggled anyhow.

"fuck you." his voice was low and scratchy, maybe it always got like that after he smoked? sohee liked it.

"you get so cranky when you're high."

"i get cranky when you don't do what i fucking tell you." sohee feigned surprise.

"a little potty mouth, too." he slid in a little deeper, leaving a small bit of his cock out just to tease. anton let out a soft moan, clenching tightly around him.

"please, just fuck me-" sohee cocked his head, very slowly grinding into him as he pretended to think. anton's back began to arch as he let out a drawn out moan, surely loud enough for their neighbors to hear.

"fine, only because it's getting really hard not to cum right now." he said with a stifled giggle, sheathing the rest of his length inside of the boy. his hid his head in the crook of anton's neck to try and dampen the loud moan he let out, making anton giggle.

"feels good, right?"

"shit.. i could get used to this." sohee said, voice gruff from the dryness of his throat. anton sighed, plucking the blunt from his fingers and tossing it back into the ashtray.

"don't - this is illegal for you, remember?" it was sohee's turn to roll his eyes as he rolled over to face anton, scowling playfully at the weak smirk on his face.

"how the fuck would the korean government even know that i'm smoking this right now? like, the blue house could not give less of a fuck." anton chuckled softly.

"first of all, the blue house is out of commision. second of all, drug tests exist." sohee glared at anton for a few seconds before picking the blunt out of the ashtray and taking a long, exaggerated drag.

"fuck them. this is great. i feel like my brain is getting ran over my a four-wheeler, but like, slowly." anton furrowed his eyebrows, a laugh sputtering from his lips.

"a four-wheeler? what the fuck?" sohee shrugged as he passed the blunt back to anton, who took a weak drag.

"what does it feel like when you get high, then?" anton let out a small sigh, shaking his bangs out of his eyes.

"it feels really... out of body, you know? like i'm here but i'm not." sohee was quiet for a few seconds.

"so it feels like busting a nut?" anton furrowed his brows once more, sending an offended look sohee's way.

"really, bitch?" sohee furrowed his eyebrows as well, putting his hands up in defense.

"that's what you just told me! out of body experience, busting a nut - it's like, the same fucking thing." anton simply stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a sigh, resting on the bed once more.

"i mean.. i guess? like, i never thought about it like that before.. you just made it sound so fucking gross."

"i speak my mind." anton rolled his eyes, taking the blunt back from sohee.

"whatever. you sound stupid." sohee couldn't keep himself from smiling - irritating anton was always too fun.

"fuck, just like that!" anton moaned out, gripping sohee's hair tightly as the older pounded into him.

sohee still couldn't fully understand anton yet, but it was all the more sexy for sohee. his hips were stuttering like crazy, but with anton's constant guiding hand forcing him to hold a steady rhythm, he was determined to hold out for as long as possible.

the slapping noises were getting a bit unbearable, loud and sticky and constant. it was making the room entirely too hot and making it hard to breathe, but there was no way they were stopping now.

"yes- yeah, deeper! fuck, sohee~"

anton's face was fucked out beyond belief - eyes unfocused, eyebrows furrowed, hair sweaty and sticking to his cheeks and lips bruised from their violent kisses. safe to say he wasn't making things any easier for sohee.

that's not to say that sohee wasn't equally as fucked, his hair all over the place and deep hickies riddling his jaw and neck and collarbone and chest, especially around his nipples. the makeup noonas were surely gonna have a field day with this one.

"s-sohee, i'm gonna c~um, gonna cum!" anton yelled out. it was the loudest that sohee had ever heard him get, he was sure of it, only making his hips speed up and his thrusts grow even more bruising.

"does everything feel different when you're high?" sohee asked, eyes trained on the small bumps jutting out of the popcorn ceiling. they had just smoked the last of their first blunt, and things were definitely starting to set in fully for sohee.

"not really. i mean, everyone reacts differently. for me, some things feel the same snd other things feel different. like, taking a shit feels the same but pissing weirdly feels really good." sohee let out a weak chuckle, fingers circling the soft comforter underneath them.

"so, cumming would probably feel different, right?" anton scoffed softly, sitting up a bit to look down at sohee. he was equally as fucked up, but he was a little more functional than the other and it showed.

"what is up with you and cumming today? are you horny or something?" the question practically answered itself as anton did a quick glance over sohee's form, sohee's cock twitching in his jeans at his words.

"you're such a freak, man." sohee shrugged, a smile coming to his face.

"i'm just too real for you." anton gently slapped sohee's chest as he laid back down, a little closer to the older this time.

"what the fuck ever, dude."

silence fell over the room for the next few minutes as the smoke from their little session floated over their heads and into their eyes. sohee had actually almost fallen asleep until anton's soft voice filled his ears once more.

"what?" he asked softly, making anton purse his lips a bit.

"what is it?" he asked again, sitting up this time. it was hard to hear anton without seeing his lips, for whatever reason.

"i said that cumming would probably feel different." he said, cheeks a little red. sohee tilted his head a bit, gently gripping the blankets.

"oh yeah.. it would be like, more intense, wouldn't it?" anton nodded quietly.

"i've never really gotten high and jerked off before, so i wouldn't know, but i'm assuming." sohee hummed softly. he didn't really believe that, but he didn't feel like pressing it.

"we should find out." anton's eyebrows furrowed a small bit.

"find out what?" sohee rolled his eyes, slowly shifting to sit up on his knees. his cock print was extremely visable through his jeans, making anton swallow heavily.

"find out if it feels different, you know. i'll just give you a blowjob or something, it doesn't have to be-" anton put his hand on sohee's chest to stop him, making his breath hitch a bit.

"shut up, sohee." and sohee did, letting anton grip his shirt and pull him closer.

"don't make this weird, okay? you made me curious." he said softly, eyes low and focused of sohee's lips.

sohee's words spilled out into anton's mouth as the younger closed the gap between their lips, making him let out a surprised moan.

he hadn't imagined anton's lips to be so soft.

"sohee! so- sohee, ugh!" anton yelled out, holding sohee's head firmly at the crook of his neck as he came. his entire body shook, his hole sporadically clenched and spasmed around sohee's cock, making his hips jerk wildly.

he stopped holding back (he wasn't sure if he would've been able to keep it up much longer, anyways), muffling his loud moans into anton's warm skin as he came deep inside of him.

it was an indescribable feeling, especially in his inebriated state. it truly was out of body, his legs shaking wildly and his chest heaving for breath. he felt like he'd even gone blind for a few seconds, holding onto anton's limp body for dear life as he slowly came down.

anton's clammy hands wandered sohee's wide shoulders, gripping softly to make sure he was still there. he giggled softly, legs pulling him in slowly. sohee didn't fight it, moaning softly at the feeling of him being pushed deeper inside.

the two stayed like this for a while, hot and humid as they tried to regain their breath. sohee could feel anton's soft lips kissing along his shoulder, slowly bringing him back to earth. their residual high hadn't yet worn off, but he felt a lot more sane this time around, so he assumed they were probably both coming down.

"you with me, big boy?" anton whispered softly, finally switching back to korean. he chuckled a little, adjusting just slightly to a more comfortable position.

"yeah, yeah, i'm back. you okay?" anton hummed softly and nodded, gently patting sohee's shoulder.

"so?" sohee was quiet for a few seconds, eyebrows furrowing a bit.

"so, what?" anton rolled his eyes, letting out a soft sigh as he reached up to sweep his sweaty bangs out of his eyes.

"did you feel any different? while cumming, i mean." sohee had almost forgotten that his question was what spurred on this whole thing. he smirked a small bit, biting his lip softly.

"i don't know.. maybe we need to test it out again? i was too gona to even think about that." anton gave him a deadpanning look, gently pushing him off of him. sohee chuckled loudly, following anton as he slinked off of the bed.

"what? was the joke that bad?" anton scurried over to the mini fride at the corner of the room, scanning the insides incessantly.

"yes, but that's not why i got up. i'm hungry as shit. munchies are no joke, man." sohee furrowed his eyebrows, his tummy growling deeply as if on cue.

"what the fuck are munchies and why are you just now telling me about them?" anton disregarded his question, too focused on looking.. somewhat presentable as he threw some clothes on.

"are you gonna bitch or are you gonna come and raid sungchan and shotaro hyung's fridge with me?"

sohee took very time to think before very ungracefully stumbling off of the bed, throwing on the clothes they had disgardes hours ago before following anton out of the bedroom, face flushed and a pit deep in his tummy.

#riize #riize anton #riize sohee #kpop #kpop smut #smut #smoke weed everyday #stonersmut #crack taken seriously #riize smut #gay #gay smut #gay riize #gay kpop

89 notes · View notes

doctorprofessorsong · 15 days

Text

Continuing with my quest to make the women of Supernatural kiss, have some Charlie/Billie

Charlie's dead, which definitely sucks. Especially because she went out in the dumbest way (seriously, she could fit through that window easy, peasy mac and cheesy). But that isn't even the worst part of her day. It turns out that God is actually a mediocre male writer who killed her early for plot purposes. Fridged in her own life. Her reaper, Billie, delivers the most devastating blow of all. She can't move on to the "other place" until her time comes or she might disrupt the order of the universe. Instead, Charlie is being tucked away in a pocket universe in the veil until the day she would have died in her own timeline. But Charlie's never one to let circumstances get her down. Especially when there are so many pretty reapers she can go down on instead.

#spn fic #supernatural #spn #charlie bradbury #dean winchester #crack taken seriously #enough salt to fill a sea over Charlie's death #fix it #billie #Charlie/Billie

27 notes · View notes

jag-rat · 9 months

Text

Okay hear me out. What if the Falmer were culturally far more similar to the modern day nords rather than the altmer or the ayleids?

Like if the Falmer's culture was a more intense version of what we see of the ancient nords in Skyrim. Because the nords kind of just integrated their own culture into the falmers. Maybe the Falmer were originally far more similar to the vikings and other ancient Scandinavian cultures rather than just being the altmer but pale.

Or maybe even towards the end of their reign they started to shift cultures to a more altmer influenced lifestyle and religion making Auri-el a more prominent God figure in their pantheon. Sort of similar to how Scandinavia got christianised.

It would explain why tensions between the Atmorans and the Falmer suddenly became so high when they were previously living peacefully together.

It would also be fascinating to consider the fact the nords could actually be descendants of both the atmorans and the Falmer. Sort of like the bretons. It's very difficult to completely wipe out an entire country worth of people. And not every Falmer wanted to go underground with most being opposed to the idea. So it would make more sense for those who didn't join the Dwemer for protection to be slowly "integrated" with the atmorans which would explain the entire disappearance of the rest of the Falmer. It also gives the modern day Nords a new context which I really like because its sort of poetic irony the nords themselves would be another small part of what was left of the ancient falmer.

Also there's no way a bunch of people living in freezing cold temperatures aren't going to have beards. Bethesda is lying to me.

Anyways it might not line up with canon but it's an interesting thought. Also brings some funny scenarios to mind.

For more details go here

73 notes · View notes

spookymultimedia · 3 months

Text

Coming out as a crat shipper

#south park #south park fanart #craig tucker #crat #craig x hat #crack taken seriously #Craig is objectum

26 notes · View notes

writerlovestropes · 4 months

Text

🎄A Christmas Batfamily Story !!🎄

3 Times Timmy Drake Meets Santa + 1 Time He Meets Bruce

by Writer_loves_tropes Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Summary: Little Timmy wrote his Christmas list and sent it to Santa last year, but didn't get any gifts (great job Jack and Janet Drake), but this year he's taking his letter and giving it to Santa himself. When he takes a trip to deliver it to the mall Santa himself, he doesn't realize that Bruce is volunteering his time as mall Santa, and when Two Face's crew attacks, Tim accidentally finds out that Santa is Batman, thinks Nightwing, Red Hood, and Robin are all elves, and things only get wilder after that. or, six year old Timmy takes a trip to the mall and gets adopted by the Bat family, Santa, and his elves. He also finds out Batman's identity in the most most convoluted way ever. My holiday Batman story!

#kid tim drake #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #bruce wayne #mistaken identity #identity reveal #christmas fluff #christmas fic #crack taken seriously #tim drake joins the batfamily earlier #tooth rotting fluff #Tim Drake thinks Santa is Batman

31 notes · View notes

dcxdpdabbles · 7 months

Text

DC X DP: The Summoning Conditions of the Ghost King.

Danny Fenton is new to his title.

It's been about two years since he defeated Pariah Dark and inherited his seat through the right of conquest. Now Danny knew, on some level, that Pariah was King of Ghosts, but in all honestly, he had been preoccupied with getting his town back from the zone and keeping his friends and family (and the rest of the town, he guessed) alive.

The victory had been just within the lines of a fair fight, only because a dew ghost argued that his shifting his dad's ecto-skeleton suit was a form of armor only after his power ran over it.

If Danny had fought in the ecto-skeleton suit without doing so then it would not have been considered a fair fight as it wasn't his own strength, and thus, he would not won the right of conquest.

But he did. And now Danny was crowned Ghost King. Which came with all sorts of responsibilities and proper conduct for someone of his new stature.

Many ghosts were willing to teach him the way- Princess Dora, Clockwork, Frostbite, Ghostwriter, and even the Observants- but Danny struggled to adjust. He had no idea being King meant he had to play diplomat to the literal multiverse- as the Ghost Zone or Infinite Realms touched every possible world at every possible time- and follow specific rules of being a Ghost.

A vampire could not entire a home without being invited in.

A fae could not take control over a human without knowing their name.

And a ghost could not make a chance to the living plane without meeting requirements, like an agreement on a contract.

That was why the Ghosts never passed Amity Park's limits and why Pariah Dark had chosen to take the town into his domain instead of expanding his attack. The Fentons have unknowingly created an open contract with anything that could get past their portal by opening it up and claiming themselves the protectors against ghosts kind.

If a ghost could defeat everyone in the Fenton household- as the ground of where the zone was open and the beings calling that location a home- then they would become the portal's rulers and be able to leave the city. Thankfully, that contact applied to Danny, and he had never lost, no matter who challenged him.

His ghost sense activated the contract, alerting him of a new challenger. After finding his family contract, Danny had thrown a fit in the Ghost King's Keep. Thankfully, he could close it with the help of Clockwork, who agreed to be his final challenger, and once he won, the portal was forever closed.

Danny then discovered he had to create his own Ghost Conditions as Phantom, The Protective Spirt of Amity Park, and Phantom, the Ghost King. He argued with the Infinite Releams council, something he installed to help him rule and to lowkey have them continue to govern themselves with his own laws, keeping them from killing each other- until his core began to deteriorate the more he neglected his Ghost Conditions.

Clockwork has to intervene, telling him in little words to write up his Ghost Conditions and have them ready in a month or experience his soul being ripped apart by nature.

Danny agreed to write up the Conditions as soon as he could....and then did what any sixteen-year-old teenager would do with a work assignment. He procrastinated until the night before it was due.

Panicked, he sat down in front of his laptop to write, telling his parents he had a big essay due and could not answer any calls until late.

At three am of the following day, Clockworked appeared for his Ghost Conditions which outlined his limitations and certain requirements for Danny to operate.

He worked hard on Phantom, The Protective Spirt of Amity Park, to allow him to live everyday human life and shift into a ghost to protect his town whenever he needs to. He ensured that he could not be used to cause human death by a weapon in a mortal war, and his condition for working on behalf of a human was to have a recommendation letter from both FrostBite and Clockwork out of both ghost-freewill.

He figured it would make it practically impossible to make him a weapon or make him do anything against his will. He didn't want to end up like Ember or Desiree, who relied on mortals to get power, but he also did not want to be so obsessive about protecting something he forwent everything like Sculker or Walker.

He spent so much time on it that he forgot to leave time to work on the Phantom, and Ghost King lists until his eyes were dropping closed and Clockwork was messaging him that he was on his way to both lists.

Danny panicked and wrote something down- hoping he would redo the assignment later on- just to have something to turn in. The lack of sleep and stress caused him to not think clearly.

When he woke seven hours later, he realized this wasn't just some English assignment he could ask his teacher to let him redo. This was set in stone conditions and said conditions had already been passed around the multiverse. Some of his work even appears in his timeline, in some ancient civilization, thanks to Clockwork flinging copies of his Ghost Conditions into time portals.

Thank the Ancient Cores that Danny had copied and pasted the parts of about not making him a weapon for mortal wars or mindlessly killer. He hoped that it wouldn't come to bite him in the ass.

It bit him in the ass a week later when an alien threat so big the Heros of the Justice League were so desperate for a counter-attack they allowed Batman to attempt to summon the Ghost King even at the Justice League Dark's warning.

Batman had known about the Ghost King's Summoning Conditions from his time with Ra's Al Ghul. It was, after all, Ra's civilization that had been the one to find Danny's list from Clockworks time portals.

Danny knew this because one of the conditions was letting him know of the human's intention before they could summon him. He honestly heard whatever Batman was thinking and whatever the man could hear.

"Bats, this is baty even for you!" A disembodied voice hissed. Danny was startled so hard on his bed, having been scrolling on his phone when the British man spoke.

"If we can convince the King that the lives of Earth are at risk, he will aid us in the battle. He can not kill humans, but the aliens are not human." Batman answered, and Danny felt his core drop. Oh no. a loophole.

"Or he could kill everything around in a fit of rage!" The other man yelled. "No one understands the Ghost King! His Conditions were so open-ended anything could happen!"

Hey, Danny thought they were pretty solid, actually.

"Doesn't matter. We are out of options." Batman replied, and between one moment and the next, Danny was floating above a summoning circle, still wearing his snowflake pajamas- complete with a large holding- his phone in the same lying on his stomach position.

Thankfully, he was in his ghost form.

"What-"

"Phantom, Ghost King, I call upon you for aid. The lives of all human life are at risk of destruction." Batman said, his thoughts silent like the grave, and Danny had no idea what he was thinking.

Danm. Danny's wording of "Knowing a human's intention before summoning the King" meant that he could not hear the human's intention once the summon happened. Maybe his language was too open-ended.

"Ugh." He slowly sat up in a cross-leg position, eyeing the gathered heroes. It looked like all of the Justice League was present- all looking worse for wear. Whatever aliens were, the League wasn't kidding when they sent out an emergency shelter notice. "Um, that is...Well, you see, the funny thing is you have to pass some trials before I can help you. Batman Sir."

The Dark Knight showed no outward emotion as he nodded even as a few heroes seemed confused by Danny's nervousness. "I will undergo them."

Please disagree. Danny wanted to scream, flushing a bright green. He wrote those trails in two minutes. They are embarrassing!

Instead, he heard himself say as if speaking from his frozen ice core. "You must pass all my trails. The first shall begin right now and you must have opponents of those you cherish the most. They must be someone you love so much that the thought of them hurting will destroy you. They must take part now or drop dead if they refuse."

A glowing green snowflake appears under the feet of five individuals in the crowd. Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Orphan and Spoiler.are dragged to the front of the crowd, to stand next to Batman in the Ghost Kind's trails.

Batman froze and a man in a trench coat swore. "I warned you!"

"Wait!" Flash yelled, but it was too late. The Ghost King Trails had already begun. Danny wanted to scream, but he felt his body move one arm up, creating a sizeable frozen slate of ice to hover over the heroes.

A familiar song filled the air as smaller slates appeared before each hero. Words slowly carved across the large and small ice, much to the confusion of everyone present.

"Is...Is this Kahoot?" Red Robin dared to ask, watching the words finish being made, and the Kahoot music continued to count down.

Danny wants to hide his face in his hands, but he instead shouts, "The first to twenty is the victor and shall be the one I shall give my aid to! Now time is running out, humans, pick your answer for... Question one...According to the Ghost King, which Gotham hero has the best ass?"

Ding.

Everyone turned to Orphan when she quickly pressed B. on her ice tablet. Since she was the only one who moved in time before the timer ran out, her answer was displayed before all eyes.

She chose correctly. B. for Red Robin.

Orphan shrugs at Red Robin's gape. "His Highness' eyes did a slow up and down when they spotted you. It wasn't hard to guess."

Danny thought making a Kahoot was fast, and no one would be able to guess the answers to questions about himself. He thought it was foolproof.

He was wrong.

"Question two: Which is the prettiest star in the Milky Way!" Danny shouts in a pompous tone that contradicts his embarrassed frown and glowing green blush.

The heroes of Gotham stare at him before they all press A for Sirius.

"How!?" He asks when all of them get the answer right. Right now, Orphan is winning, so she is the closest to his contact dealer.

"You're wearing the star on your nightcap," Red Hood deadpans.

"Q-Question three.....What is the Ghost King's favorite Holiday?"

Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Spoiler, and Orphan picked D. for Halloween but only Batman chooses correctly with B. for Valentine's Day.

He does not explain how he knows that, and Danny is starting to worry the greatest detective in the world is going to figure all his answers out, and he will end up serving them.

Sweating, he moves on to the next question as John Consistent watches on, wondering if he indeed was an Occult expert as he thought or not because none of what was happening was what he thought would happen.

They may stand a chance yet.

Master Post Link

#dcxdpdabbles #dc x dp crossover #The Summoning Conditions of the Ghost King #ghost king danny #crack taken seriously #Danny's trails are what you expect from a procrastinator #The bats are literally the best detectives ever #They are breezing through trail one #John Constantine would kick his Occult degree in the trash if he had one after this #Dead tired

1K notes · View notes