#lolth always says fuck elves anyway so she goes off and do just that 🤷‍♀️

[swordmaid]

am getting a lot of character inspo for shri’iia from amy gone girl. I don’t think she’s as smart nor calculated but she is similar to some degree in that she’s hyper aware of the current persona she’s presenting and how she’s appealing to the people. the masks and the mjndgames, that’s basically how shri’iia operated while she was still serving under her matriarch in menzoberranzan. she needed to play the roles the matriarch required of her and it was only when she was with her matriarch that she can be ‘Real Shri’iia’, and that’s how I imagined shri’iia to be esp in act 1 when she is so new and scared in the surface. she needed to work out who these people are (her companions) and what they liked, so her first persona - her blank one - the charming helpful paladin who got tadpoled and wants to go back home just like the rest of them (which was half true). she didn’t really argue and she generally agreed to what the group wanted. she was helpful and co-operative, ask her about her past and she will tell you something bland and generic- interesting enough to be ooh-ing about but not too interesting that they’ll delve deeper into it. then, when she got to know them a little more, she started crafting little personas adjacent to her first one ; she’s the girl who’s curious about magic but never had the chance to learn with gale, she’s a cool girl who likes mischief as debauchery with astarion, she’s the one who likes to take risks and live in the moment with karlach, the knight in silver armor who’s willing to help the tieflings with wyll, a disciplined fighter with lae’zel, someone who understands the depths of devotion with shadowheart - but none are really her, not really. ofc her own personality might slip in here and there but for the most part she’s appealing to them and what they’d like her to be but none of it is really genuine. shri’iia just needs to be on their good side to minimise the chances of them turning on her, and if they let her guard down it’ll be easier for her to get rid of them should the need arise. taking up all these different masks, collecting all these intel abt them to be used for later, slithering and making a place in their minds - it’s really how she operated back in menzoberranzan. I think the only one who catches on to her game is astarion but that’s bc he’s doing the same thing too, so it’s very game recognises game lmfao

it’s only when she breaks her oath and goes through her existential crisis that all of her masks drop and her real self comes out. she was never that kind of person lmfao ^, she’s greedy, selfish, paranoid and rather obsessive. she doesn’t care about a lot of things that doesn’t concern her, she has a cruel streak that she hasn’t shown before, and she hates doing anything that won’t really benefit her. but she’s fiercely loyal to anyone she likes, like a dog. and severely she craves validation and approval - also like a dog.

#like if shri’iia was smarter and wiser it’s really over for you hoes 😔 but she’s not lol #the matriarch also taught her how to deceive so she had good training lool like that’s coming from the master liar herself #and in game Shri’iia’s deception is p high so it tracks 👯‍♀️ #but anyway I finished reading gone girl and shri’iia would’ve turned out like amy in her vengeance ending #I think if her paranoia consumed her and an outside figure validated her way of faking herself #and generally moulded her back to being that overly obsessive paladin who lives to serve - which is what her matriarch made her to be #but obv she can’t be that girl in the surface .. they can’t know abt the Lolth worship! they’ll kill her! so she makes a new one … a #completely different one that’s so detached from her previous self … someone new and charming and fun and harmless and the kind of person #you’ll feel safe around and happy to travel with. she is that girl! and more! and she’s down for anything! and she loves to help! #but she forgets the goddess she worships is fickle and vengeful and proud so her favor drops and suddenly her real self is left #with nothing .. so she doesn’t know what to do anymore … she doesn’t know if she should keep up this fake one I mean what’s the point does #she even have it in her anymore?? how can she go back home when they don’t want you back #like who is SHE without lolth even … bc the girl that she has been playing is nothing but a blank image #and that’s NOT her .. never been her… so shri’iia is left bewildered confused and even more scared #like what do you do if you’ve been left behind in this new world?? and the purpose of your existence doesn’t want you anymore but the #thing is she knows where she went wrong.. but she didn’t have a choice - or did she?? shri’iia doesn’t know .. she’s not a planner #you don’t need to plan when your matriarch does all the thinking for you and you just do what ur told bc there is nothing better than to #serve and fulfill your oath …!!! so she ends up getting wasted in a party with the people she didn’t even care to save lmfao #and then she gets drunk and ends up fucking this one guy just bc she asked and she’s already hit rock bottom #lolth always says fuck elves anyway so she goes off and do just that 🤷‍♀️ #shut up abt bg3.