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smaller-comfort · 26 days

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So how do you imagine snail love darts and necrontyr working/combining? Cause I am interested~

Aksjdhsk ahahaha oh god okay here we go

(Tumblr crashed on me three times while I tried to write this, but I will not let that stop me from rambling at length about snail sex, speculative xenobiology, and various ways that necrontyr get to be fucked up little guys.)

Okay, now snails: they use the darts during courtship to deliver hormones that increase the likelihood of fertilizing their partner's eggs; after the several-hours-long mating dance, they'll exchange spermatophores. (Fun fact, the penis, copulatory canal, and dart sac are all located inside the genital pore, on the snail's head. Mating dances can involve a lot of biting.) Snails have bad aim, but it's not uncommon for both snails to end up getting stabbed during courtship.

Okay. Some assumptions/general thoughts: necrontyr do not have "dual-use" reproductive/waste elimination systems (inferred from Trazyn's hilarious disgust at the idea, but honestly it would be entirely believable for him to have completely lost any and all memories of necrontyr biology). Most higher order animals do (they're efficient!), but you start to see ones that don't when you get down to bugs and marine creatures, so that's what kicked off this train of thought.

I'm assuming also there is relatively little sexual dimorphism among necrontyr (not for any particular reason, although my understanding is that actual female necrons are a relatively new thing in wh40k lore, so that fits). And finally, everyone constantly dying of turbo cancer has led to a 'throw everything but the kitchen sink at it' evolutionary approach to reproductive strategies.

"Copulatory canal" is a deeply unsexy phrase, btw. So are most words we use when talking about sex, unfortunately. *sigh*

Okay, so, love darts. Pretty much only ever used by nobles/the military, because in the upper classes of society, sex isn't about reproduction, it's about reinforcing social hierarchies. And necrontyr social hierarchies tend to be inherently about violence in one way or another. Sexual dominance is generally more about who gets stabbed with the dart than it is about which penis is going where. (That's still a factor, but it's secondary, since genital configurations/functionality can be a bit of a wildcard.) Snails take an egalitarian approach to sex; necrontyr categorically do not. Both parties consenting to be darted would be considered weird and perverted.

Anyway. While many necrontyr do only have one set of functional reproductive organs by the time they reach adulthood (either because the other set was always vestigial or because it gets removed to reduce the spread of cancer), both sets are usually present in some fashion. Sterility would be fairly common, but medical technology is able to mitigate some of that; the lower classes, at least, need to be able to breed like rabbits to feed the war machine. Gender is mostly divorced from reproductive role by the time biotransference happens; in addition to male and female, there would have been at least one other normative gender, possibly two (to account for both null and multimodal genders). Gender fluidity would have been common and largely unremarkable for necrontyr. (It's still largely unremarkable for necrons, but it's not particularly common; they're mostly fixed with whatever gender they had at biotransference.)

The dart sac would be located in their mouths, under the tongue; it's meant to be ejected into the soft tissue of the mouth, but it's sharp enough to pierce the skin anywhere. (This does mean kissing can be Complicated, or at least somewhat subversive, depending on everyone's social standing.) Normally it gets broken down and absorbed by the recipient's body; pulling one out tends to be extremely uncomfortable/painful.

Kind of going off ancient greek/roman sexual mores here; it would be entirely unthinkable, for example, for Obyron to be the penetrative partner in either sense with Zahndrekh. (Then again, Zahndrekh is a shameless pervert.) Sex between two social equals is generally accompanied by an agreement- sometimes tacit, sometimes explicit- about not using the darts. Doing so would be an overt act of aggression. Often, to prevent any potential misunderstandings, they'll voluntarily empty their dart sacs ahead of time.

Forcing someone to empty their dart sac prior to sex is a pretty common form of sexual humiliation. When done voluntarily, it's a sign of submission or respect. (Darts usually have a refractory period of a few days, depending on the person's overall health. Single-chambered dart sacs are typical, but multiples aren't unheard of. Leads to occasional 'surprise! You thought I was submitting to you but now you're getting fucked instead' situations.)

The exact cocktail of hormones and neurochemicals it injects the other person with would vary somewhat between individuals, but can potentially vary widely between dynasties or social classes due to genetic/geographic/cultural differences. Some might include a mild paralytic agent; some sort of euphoric effect is also common. (This is all in addition to the original function, which, uh. Is to make the recipient more likely to get pregnant.) The shape of the dart varies in a similar fashion, ranging from a straight, smooth bone spike to something more elaborate with barbs or fluting.

(A bloody mouth can signify a lot of things to necrontyr- in addition to violence or illness, it's also inherently erotic. Necrons who remember this try very, very hard not to think about it when confronted with Flayed Ones.)

(Yenekh: *very sexily smearing his mouth with blood and draping himself all over Oltyx*

Crypteks have their own social hierarchies within their conclaves, but they're usually not as concerned with sexual politics as nobles and the military tend to be. Most people believe that crypteks all lace their love darts with poison, and the crypteks don't try to discourage that assumption. Some of them probably do, tbh.

Oltyx: *oblivious, can't stop thinking about how pretty Yenekh is*

The rest of the flayed ones: *still not sure why their king and his consort haven't fucked nasty in a pile of carrion yet. Maybe they need a bigger pile of carrion? Yes, that's probably it. They will take care of this for their beloved king.*)

Necrons, of course, don't have genitalia, but they can still stab each other with love dart analogues- this ranges from things like executive buffer override packages sent via interstitial channel, to actually physically jamming a spike of necrodermis into a neural input node. (From a purely aesthetic/romantic standpoint I also like the idea of love darts constructed out of crystallized core flux. The first time Zahndrekh does that to Obyron he goes into complete cascade failure and takes several hours to reboot.)

If Orikan and Trazyn did have sex pre-biotransference, one of them would have darted the other without permission (probably accidentally, being that they are both intensely nerdy losers and thus Bad At Sex by necrontyr standards), setting off a sixty-five million year hate-sex feud that neither of them can even remember the origin of. Orikan would've gone after Trazyn's mouth with a pair of pliers at some point; joke's on him, Trazyn's into that.

(Trazyn does have a collection of necrontyr love darts in the archives- all of them ones he collected personally when he was alive. He has no absolutely no memory of slutting it up back in the day, though, and probably doesn't even realize what they are. Sannet, unfortunately, does remember, and wishes he didn't. He has had to put up with so, so much over the years.)

#nattering #warhams #well i have now officially thought about this Too Much ahahaha #this is what i get for trying to be funny; now everything's gotten slightly out of hand #am i even going to use any of these ideas? who knows. they are free to a good home

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invested-in-your-future · 1 year

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How did you do the timeline then?

Assuming this is about rewrite stuff, the answer to that is actually pretty ironic/hilarious in hindsight.

Basically the outline I did uses a specific event as the "Switch" between two different dating periods. There's a specific event that messed up everything and counts as beginning of quantifiable modern history and beginning of modern civilization. All of the more "secretive" mythological aspects like origin of the maidens, Ozpin, Salem, silver eyes, etc are thus before it.

How is it separated? Well it seemed kind of a nobrainer back then but it has become the unintentionally hilarious part now.

Basically:

O.U - "Once Upon" - All of the ancient times stuff before the relevant modern history.

E.A - "Ever After" - The modern history.

So for example in this set-up, V1E1 would happen around November of 795 E.A and the Great War of Remnant would have ended in 717 E.A.

Months and Days are the same as our world, because they are based on elements of Greek mythology and language, which seem to in part exist within Remnant.

Looking back quite a few things outlined there seem pretty funny considering what the show did/failed to do since I started up that file.

#rwby #rwby au #rwby rewrite #rwby stuff mine #I guess this still counts as RWDE since this still has a jab at the show being bad LOL #rwde

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relaxxattack · 3 years

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hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

#it’s late im so sorry for how much i rambled and wrote #i hope this helps you #bee duo #og post #there’s probably so many spelling errors i need to go to bed #i tried to fix some spelling so reblog this one ig #and not the old one

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thickenmyblood · 3 years

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I’ll confess my sins. When I skipped the first chapters of Capri I got stuck on Laurent’s description as spoiled and similar to overripe fruit. So i was like ah. Royal Dudley Dursley with a blonde curly wig. Sounds about right. I finally saw some fan art and was like??? Who is this anemic Victorian vampire legolas persona?? Honestly tho in an alternate universe where Auguste doesn’t die and Laurent still dislikes sports but enjoys Veres sweet meats and his metabolism is only the slightest bit slower Laurent is absolutely getting chubby. And Damen. Smh he manages to be shadiest bitch while also being appreciating. Would he insult an overweight courtier who never touched a sword? Absolutely. Would he respect a meaty sumo ringer able to throw Damen around like a rag doll? Absolutely. He seems to appreciate multiple types of bodies just fine (muscled gladiators, frail slaves, sturdy vaskian women) so I feel like he’d also appreciate curvier partners as long as they. Well know how to use their body yk. Oh and what about chubby jokaste? We don’t know enough about akielon beauty standards at all. Sure slaves are probably mostly slender and frail to add to the submissive aesthetic (tho I do remember damens fixation on his female slaves big boobs, dude is far from subtle as always). But if it’s Ancient Greek inspired beauty standards jokaste most definitely rocks some tummy rolls. Either that or she’s got super toned abs from the Pilates classes she visits with the other trophy concubines. and akielon man are properly ripped but is it king-Leonidas-washboard-abs ripped?? Or more chunky functional muscle mass ripped? Perhaps akielon noble women are even trained like Spartan women and egeria was the one with the washboard abs. Also there absolutely was a time in Vere where the chubbier the pet = the wealthier it’s owner. Im so so sorry for rambling but your post got me t h i n k i n g

This is not only hilarious but also one of the best takes I’ve ever read. There is so much to unpack here that I truly don’t know where to start.

You mentioned Dudley, whose weight and fat (derogatory) tendencies are accentuated throughout the entire Harry Potter saga. I think—and this is my personal belief, it is not something anyone else has to agree with—that part of what makes Laurent interesting and redeemable to many readers has to do with the fact that he’s beautiful*. I don’t think many people would be willing to admit that, but Laurent’s pretty privilege as a fictional character is similar to Draco Malfoy’s (in fanon) or other morally grey villains/characters’. Ugly characters are harder to forgive, for some reason.

This got me thinking that had Pacat written Laurent as canonically fat, there would be a lot of stuff going on in Damen’s head that I don’t think we’d be able to excuse as easily as we excuse other (quite horrible) thoughts of his. But also, like I mentioned above, I think Laurent would have a harder time proving to some readers that he’s not Dudley, that he’s not just a stereotype of selfishness and greed and other things fatness is associated with (like childishness or an inability to take accountability for one’s actions). This would happen not because he’s fat, but rather because we see the world through Damen’s eyes. And Damen is. . . Quite opinionated.

You mentioned Damen would be judgmental of someone’s weight based on their ability to fight. So, like you pointed out, he’d make fun of a useless in battle courtier but not of a Sumo wrestler. I think in Book 1 Damen would make fun of anything and everyone, but I do understand where you’re coming from with that statement. It makes me wonder what Damen would think of people with a mobility/physical disability. Or even with learning difficulties. Or just about anyone that, according to him, doesn’t contribute to society. If you can’t be a warrior or a bed slave, and if you’re not in a condition to be a peasant and plow fields, and if you don’t have royal blood in your veins. . . I have a hard time picturing Damen being sympathetic.

Chubby Jokaste. . . I think I’ve always thought of her as a muscled woman, given the fact that Laurent can pose as her in Book 3. There’s been a lot of discourse lately on whether Laurent is muscled or a twigly twink, which I will not get into because I. . . do not know enough about gender and/or gender expression to add anything to any argument. I am also not a gay man, so I don’t know what could be considered offensive. I am also very stupid. I also do not know what the word 'twink' means anymore.

Your ask has made me think a lot about many things I’m usually not interested in. I think it would be interesting to see a chubby Laurent who still knows how to fight, who trains, who does things other than eat and hate. Canon Laurent is slender, and yet he never manages to beat Damen in combat, so I don’t think his ability to fight would suffer much from gaining some pounds. It would be interesting to see chubby Jokaste too, even though I don’t particularly enjoy the parallels between her and Laurent in canon. It would also be interesting to see. . . different types of bodies. You mentioned the Vaskian ladies, which I like a lot, but I don’t think I’ve read or come across any fics that focus on them. I think Vannes’ pet is also described as muscular and big, but I’m afraid I don’t remember the quote and I don’t own the books, so I can’t be sure.

What I liked the most was the ending of your ask, where you went on to add little worldbuilding details. Like I said yesterday, I wish canon was more detailed so we could maybe have something to hold onto when we make certain claims. It’s hard to say which parts of Damen’s thought process are entirely his (as a prince with a lot of privilege) and which ones have to do with his culture. Pacat has pointed out some to us, like the fact that Akielons don’t enjoy certain “spectacles” of the body, like pet rings or public sex, but they do enjoy staring at bodies when they’re wrestling or performing physical activities unrelated to sex. Other things remain little mysteries, in my opinion. Do all bed slaves have the same body type? Do women wrestle? How does marriage work in Akielos? What is everyone else’s opinion on fat people? I’m sure not everyone is like Damen, who we speculate cares about having a healthy body so he can fight and. . . stuff.

I am not saying Damen is the only character who, in the historic period where Captive Prince is set, would have fatphobic thoughts. If Damen was fat, Laurent would be the first one to use that against him, especially in Book 1. I just think Damen fits the fatphobic mold better because he’s described as this hypermasculine character, very into war (I think the blurb of the book calls him a warrior prince?) and manly things. Which is not to say war is inherently manly. Which is not to say Laurent isn’t manly. Which is not to say. . . whatever.

Captive Prince is a fantasy trilogy, set in. . . the past. Concepts such as fatphobia or toxic masculinity are not exactly applicable, but I think it’s fun to explore Damen’s character through his flaws. Laurent has a lot of flaws, but Damen’s are sometimes confused with virtues. In my opinion, they’re at their best when they’re being disgustingly horrible to each other.

I’m sorry for writing you a 90 paragraph response.

* He's almost universally beautiful in the Captive Prince world. Damen finds him pretty, and Torveld, and Jord (we've read that 'cute' quote where he describes Laurent at 15 to Aimeric). Not saying fat = ugly. I'm saying it seems like the 'hegemonic' body type for pretty is Laurent's, otherwise. . . why would everyone he comes in contact with comment on his pretty looks?

#fatphobia #laurent being fat #how do i tag this ask #should i tag it lamen lmao #okay i'm tagging it captive prince but only because i think it'd be super interesting to... see if people have any fics or art they can rec #me with fat laurent or fat damen or just... different kinds of bodies #i used the word disability but i don't know if there's a different way to say that...?#captive prince #i feel like this post is problematic but not bc i'm a bad person #it's just because i'm stupid and can't explain my thoughts #i'm the aimeric of this fandom #(bc he makes bad decisions)

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chasing-sirius-in-circles · 3 years

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Some syncretism bullshit comparisons* bumping around in my brain whom I must write down to make room in there, though further research and probably many corrections are still in order:

Ra and Osiris > Indo European creation gods (Horus as the warrior would make sense, Set unclear if this is the comparison we go with), maybe similar to the mycenaean conception of Zeus/Poseidon (who back when was also the underworld deity)

Osiris Set and Horus > Cain, Abel, Seth (hilariously, Horus is Seth, not Set), proto Indo European twin gods and warrior

Osiris > Hades (you cannot take this from me idc if the Greco Roman Egyptians didn't roll with it) and Dionysus (on Earth, this also makes for a Horus and Dionysus connection), and, I'm gonna say it based on comparisons in antiquity of Isis and Demeter, Persephone. Also Hel (regarding early conceptions of a dreary but mostly neutral afterlife for most people who weren't a king or elites). See also Proto Indo European Manu. Husband of Innana/Ishtar (who apparently the greeks placed between Persephone and Aphrodite which would track with the myth of Osiris fathering Anubis with Nephthys and his being a god who must spend time in the underworld)

Set > Loki, Proto Indo European Yemo, Typhon (I guess?) and, getting crazy here, ancient/archaic conceptions of Eros (it's the vigorous coition), Ares

Isis > Demeter (makes things be alive?) possibly Hestia, maybe aspects of early Despoina/Persephone (yes I realize this seems contradictory) though I'm gonna be honest I don't think I've come across a good comparison for her anywhere, you could imo also argue elements of Hera and Frigg or Freya, but I think she also could be called a rare example of a trickster goddess/a check on and director of divine willpower which is why she maps onto tons of other kemetic deities (an eye of Ra for ex), also any mother of god archetype like Mary (which I realize is odd when I just compared Osiris and Set to Eve's sons but fuck it, mother of god who is also your ticket to the afterlife/salvation, it tracks), maybe even SOME elements of Hermes (who is incidentally somewhat akin to elements of Loki which brings me back to my fringe tinfoil trickster thing again), Innana/Ishtar (who I guess brings us around to Aphrodite!?) with echoes of Neith she shares with her sister

Nephthys > Hecate (cares for shades entering the underworld/afterlife, associated with Isis and therefore some degree of magic or proximity to it, and Isis and Osiris do hold traits also present in Hades and Persephone though not necessarily in that order), Ishtar's husband's sister Geshtinanna, echoes of Neith

Osirs, Set, Isis, and Nephthys re: each other > Isis and Set feel like counterbalances to each other to me (he is basically raw power and Isis is legendary for holding the power of Ra's name, some generational repeating themes there maybe?) while Isis and Nephthys are extremely complimentary to the point where I'd look at them as a unit/two sides of one coin/two modes of being for a same force, which would suggest the same of Osiris (Osiris-Horus? I'm making that up but you know what I mean) and Set, two sides of kingship and complex and ergo heirarchal civilization

Nut > Nyx

*In my head gods are the faces humans can even begin to comprehend for all but unknowable infinite 4 dimensional tessellations of the many natures, laws, forces, and patterns of the universe so I'm pretty open to the idea that any given deity can be reflected many times in many others and vis versa. mythological chronology and circumstances don't have to be perfect matches for me to consider them comparisons worth noting.

This is my personal take and I'd love to discuss all of this with the understanding that this is just my worldview that helps my puny human mind conceive of these things and it is therefore equivalent to a theoretical framework of choice, I'm going to default to it but that does not mean I think all other views are incorrect--this is just the conception that I'm starting from.

#syncretism #paganism #kemetic paganism #comparative mythology #polytheism #Osiris #Isis #Auset #Nephthys #Set #Persephone #Hades

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sisterofiris · 4 years

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Hello! I was talking with a friend about this and we couldn't think of any examples but I thought if anyone knew it'd be you: Are there any examples of ancient authors writing speculative fiction or "science fiction" so to speak? Originally we were just talking about people writing about time travel but I realized I couldn't think of any ancient science fiction. If there are no examples, why do you think that might be? Is it just because they didn't see technology change much in their lives?

There is actually some form of ancient science fiction! It’s rather different from the modern kind (which is not directly descended from its ancient predecessors), but if we define science fiction as my dictionary does, which is

fiction based on imagined future scientific or technological advances and major social or environmental changes, frequently portraying space or time travel and life on other planets

then there is Ancient Greek science fiction!

I bolded those bits because they fit perfectly with the main work that has been nicknamed “the first sci-fi novel” - Lucian’s True Story. Lucian’s purpose was not to write speculative fiction but to satirise the geographical accounts of popular ancient authors (especially Homer, Iambulus and Ktesias), which he considered utterly ridiculous. In the introduction to his story, he states that he is about to tell a bunch of big, fat lies and that:

Γράφω τοίνυν περὶ ὧν μήτε εἶδον μήτε ἔπαθον μήτε παρ᾿ ἄλλων ἐπυθόμην, ἔτι δὲ μήτε ὅλως ὄντων μήτε τὴν ἀρχὴν γενέσθαι δυναμένων.

I am therefore writing about things that I have neither seen, nor experienced, nor heard about from others, which do not exist at all anyway and which could not exist in the first place. (Lucian, True Story 1.4, transl. my own)

So as you can see, his goal was a little different from that of modern sci-fi authors, who (usually) intend their work to be scientifically believable. But if we’re talking about content, the True Story fits the definition given above: the narrator and his companions sail into the sky, get caught up in a war between the Sun and the Moon, meet the Moon’s inhabitants, then sail back to Earth and get swallowed by a whale, and eventually find their way to the Isles of the Blessed (the Ancient Greek afterlife for the most fortunate and illustrious heroes). To give you an idea of the text’s style, here’s one of my favourite passages about a city of oil lamps:

Πλεύσαντες δὲ τὴν ἐπιοῦσαν νύκτα καὶ ἡμέραν, περὶ ἑσπέραν ἀφικόμεθα ἐς τὴν Λυχνόπολιν καλουμένην, ἤδη τὸν κάτω πλοῦν διώκοντες. Ἡ δὲ πόλις αὕτη κεῖται μεταξὺ τοῦ Πλειάδων καὶ τοῦ Ὑάδων ἀέρος, ταπεινοτέρα μέντοι πολὺ τοῦ ζῳδιακοῦ. Ἀποβάντες δὲ ἄνθρωπον μὲν οὐδένα εὕρομεν, λύχνους δὲ πολλοὺς περιθέοντας καὶ ἐν τῇ ἀγορᾷ καὶ περὶ τὸν λιμένα διατρίβοντας, τοὺς μὲν μικροὺς καὶ ὥσπερ πένητας, ὀλίγους δὲ τῶν μεγάλων καὶ δυνατῶν πάνυ λαμπροὺς καὶ περιφανεῖς. Οἰκήσεις δὲ αὐτοῖς καὶ λυχνεῶνες ἰδίᾳ ἑκάστῳ πεποίηντο, καὶ αὐτοὶ ὀνόματα εἶχον, ὥσπερ οἱ ἄνθρωποι, καὶ φωνὴν προϊεμένων ἠκούομεν, καὶ οὐδὲν ἡμᾶς ἠδίκουν, ἀλλὰ καὶ ἐπὶ ξένια ἐκάλουν· ἡμεῖς δὲ ὅμως ἐφοβούμεθα, καὶ οὔτε δειπνῆσαι οὔτε ὑπνῶσαί τις ἡμῶν ἐτόλμησεν. Ἀρχεῖα δὲ αὐτοῖς ἐν μέσῃ τῇ πόλει πεποίηται, ἔνθα ὁ ἄρχων αὐτῶν διὰ νυκτὸς ὅλης κάθηται ὀνομαστὶ καλῶν ἕκαστον· ὃς δ᾿ ἂν μὴ ὑπακούσῃ, καταδικάζεται ἀποθανεῖν ὡς λιπὼν τὴν τάξιν· ὁ δὲ θάνατός ἐστι σβεσθῆναι.

Having sailed throughout the following night and day, we reached Lamptown around evening, having already begun our trip downwards. This city is located in the air between the Pleiades and the Hyades, but much lower than the zodiac. As we disembarked, we didn’t see a single person, but many lamps instead, running around and spending time on the agora and near the port. Some were small, as if they were poor, while a few great and mighty ones were very bright and visible from all around. They have homes, and each of them has his own lamp-sconce, and they have names like people, and we heard them speaking, and none of them wronged us, but instead they welcomed us as guests. All the same, we were afraid, and none of us dared to eat or to sleep there. They have a town hall in the middle of the city, where their magistrate sits all through the night calling each of them by name. Whoever does not answer is sentenced to die as a deserter; the death penalty is to be extinguished. (1.29, transl. my own)

It’s hilarious, creative, and I absolutely recommend reading the whole thing. You can find a full translation online here.

Another passage that can qualify as sci-fi is the description of Hephaistos’ creations in Book 18 of the Iliad. This one is probably closer to modern sci-fi in intention: it’s meant to highlight Hephaistos’ skill at creating things which were (at the time) impossible for mortals. When Thetis arrives at his forge, he is making tripods:

... τρίποδας γὰρ ἐείκοσι πάντας ἔτευχεν ἑστάμεναι περὶ τοῖχον ἐυσταθέος μεγάροιο, χρύσεα δέ σφ᾿ ὑπὸ κύκλα ἑκάστῳ πυθμένι θῆκεν, ὄφρα οἱ αὐτόματοι θεῖον δυσαίατ᾿ ἀγῶνα ἠδ᾿ αὖτις πρὸς δῶμα νεοίατο, θαῦμα ἰδέσθαι.

He was building tripods, twenty in all, to stand around the wall of his well-built hall, and he had set wheels at the bottom of each of them so that the automats could enter the divine assembly and return home again, a wonder to see. (Homer, Iliad 18.373-377, transl. my own)

And when Hephaistos walks over to greet Thetis, he is helped by two unusual servants:

... ὑπὸ δ᾿ ἀμφίπολοι ῥώοντο ἄνακτι χρύσειαι, ζωῇσι νεήνισιν εἰοικυῖαι. Τῇς ἐν μὲν νόος ἐστὶ μετὰ φρεσίν, ἐν δὲ καὶ αὐδὴ καὶ σθένος, ἀθανάτων δὲ θεῶν ἄπο ἔργα ἴσασιν.

Two golden handmaidens, made to look like living girls, hurried over to support their lord. There is sense in their minds, and speech and strength in them, and they know handiwork thanks to the immortal Gods. (18.417-420, transl. my own)

That’s right - Homer, a poet from the 8th century BC, gave Hephaistos robots.

So all in all, while science fiction as an independent genre didn’t exist in the ancient world, its seeds were already present. Even two thousand years ago, people made their characters go to the Moon and told each other “wouldn’t it be awesome if we had robots, though?”

#ancient greece #ancient history #sci fi

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flores-et-dracones · 4 years

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Could I get some recommendations on classic literature? I absolutely love to read and would like more books to add to my reading list.

Of course! Here are some of my favourites:

Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey - epic poems recounting episodes from the Trojan War. The Iliad tells the story of Achilles’ quarrel with Agamemnon and it’s consequences, while the Odyssey tells the story of the Greek hero Odysseus and his ten year journey home after the war. They were first recited orally around 750/700 BC, and were later written down. They had a profound influence on all later literature. The earliest surviving written sources from ancient Greece. Must reads for anyone with an interest in Greek mythology. Both poems are available in prose and verse translations. For prose, I’d recommend Martin Hammond’s penguin classics edition of the Iliad, and E. V. Rieu’s penguin classics edition of the Odyssey. Both are very accurate to the Greek and very readable. Hammond in particular has excellent introductory notes and critical summaries, that are very useful for a first time reader. For verse translations, I’d recommend Robert Fagles for both. Bernard Knox’s introductory essays for Fagles’ translations are works of art in themselves. Emily Wilson has also recently published a verse translation of the Odyssey. I haven’t read it in full myself yet, but it seems very easy to read and her introductory notes are excellent.

Virgil’s Aeneid - Rome’s answer to Homer, written 700 years after the Iliad and Odyssey. An epic poem recounting the story of the Trojan hero Aeneas and his quest to find a new home for the survivors of the Trojan War. A foundation story for Rome, patronized by the Emperor Augustus himself. The only epic in which we actually see the wooden horse and the sack of Troy (the Iliad ends with the death of Hector, long before the city falls; the Odyssey takes up the story long after the war has ended. Aeneas recounts the fall of Troy in book 2 of the Aeneid). For prose, I’d recommend David West’s penguin classics translation, and for verse, I’d recommend Robert Fagles again. A quicker read than either the Iliad or Odyssey, as it is only half their length.

Ovid’s Metamorphoses - another must read for anyone with an interest in myth. Often considered a mock-epic because of its humor and irreverence, Metamorphoses presents a kaleidoscopic sequence of Greek and Roman myths, from the origins of the universe down to the deification of Julius Caesar during the reign of Augustus (Ovid’s contemporary era). The unifying theme is - you’ve guessed it - metamorphoses, change and transformation. No other ancient text (except perhaps Apollodorus’ Library of Greek Mythology) gathers together so many myths. It was the primary source of classical myth for Shakespeare and the Elizabethan poets, who would have read William Golding’s translation.

The poetry of Sappho - one of the very few female authors whose work survives from antiquity. She lived on the Greek island of Lesbos in the 7th century BC. She was a lyric poet - her poems were accompanied by music, typically the lyre. Her genius was highly respected in antiquity, but today most of her work survives only in fragments. I’d recommend Anne Carson’s translation If Not, Winter: Fragments of Sappho. Carson is a poet in her own right, and the format in which she presents Sappho’s work makes for a unique and beautiful reading experience.

Greek Tragedy - one of my favourite genres, and a great place to start if you are new to classics, because they are quite short, usually easy to read, and always intensely gripping. 32 plays survive in full, so there’s plenty to choose from, but I’d recommend Euripides’ Medea, Sophocles’ Oedipus Tyrannos, Sophocles’ Antigone, Aeschylus’ Oresteia, and Euripides’ Electra (make sure you read the Oresteia before Electra - you’ll appreciate it more that way). Also Aeschylus’ Prometheus Bound and Euripides’ Trojan Women, which deals with the fate of the women after the destruction of Troy.

Greek Comedy - I’d recommend Aristophanes’ Lysistrata, Assembly Women, Frogs and Birds in particular. Absolutely absurd.

Seneca’s Medea - a Roman tragedy. Very interesting to compare to Euripides’ play. He wrote other tragedies too, if you develop a taste. This is the famous Seneca, the stoic philosopher, the one who tried to curb the emperor Nero’s megalomania and was eventually ordered to commit suicide by him.

The poetry of Catullus - a Roman poet, living during the reign of Julius Caesar. His poetry ranges from the hilarious to the heart-breaking, and is noted for being full of ‘obscenity and abuse’ (which makes it very fun to read). I’d recommend Guy Lee’s oxford world’s classics translation.

Tristia and the Black Sea Letters - the poems and letters Ovid wrote from exile. He wrote them in Tomis in modern day Romania on the coast of the black sea, and sent them back to Rome, where he intended them to circulate amongst a broad audience, despite their ostensibly private nature. They were essentially a propaganda campaign, designed to build sympathy for him and pressurize Augustus into recalling him to Rome. My favourite of his works, I think. I’d recommend Peter Green’s translations.

Longus’ Daphnis and Chloe - a charming little Greek novel, telling a story of first love between two shepherds, set in an idyllic, pastoral setting. A very quick read and available as a penguin little black classic.

Seutonius’ Lives of the Caesars - to brush up on your Roman history. Covers the lives of 12 Roman emperors, controversially including Julius Caesar as the first. Includes some of the most notorious figures from Roman history, such as Caligula and Nero. Scandalous and dramatic, not exactly objective, but an entertaining read.

I think that’s probably enough to be getting on with!

#classics #asks #book recs #ancient literature #mine #greek & roman literature #tagamemnon

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gameofdrarry · 3 years

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Wizards Hearts Recs: Cursed Object(s)

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Misdirection by lea_anberlyn Rated: Teen and Up Words: 3764 Tags: Humor, Snarky!Malfoy, Epistolary Summary: Harry buys a new owl after the war – a bird he soon realises is cursed to send letters to the person he hates most. Draco Malfoy finds the whole thing hilarious. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 your heart'll race, hard to sleep by orphan_account Rated: Explicit Words: 3897 Tags: Insomnia, Curse Breaking, grumpy Draco, Humour, please think I'm funny, Blow Jobs, I have no chill and can't take things slow apparently Summary: Draco's bed is cursed. Don't ask him about it. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Sucker by BasiliskCur, lefthandofglory Rated: Explicit Words: 117917 Tags: Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Bottom Draco, Dubious Consent, Top Harry, Top Draco Malfoy, Twincest, Sharing a Bed, Contracts, Semi-Public Sex, Negotiations, Service, First Time, Masturbation, Dirty Talk, Brief instance of suicidal behavior, Smut, Eventual Angst with an even more Eventual Happy Ending, Because it's all fun and magic sex contracts until two former enemies, with a shit ton of emotional baggage, fall in love Summary: Fred and George have discovered there used to be a dedicated cocksucker for each dorm. Now there's an interesting tradition that Hogwarts: A History somehow forgot to mention. Anyway. The twins. A magic sex contract. What's the worry? Poor Harry. He's killed Voldemort and is back at Hogwarts studying for NEWTs but he's still got to learn the two most important lessons of his life: 1. How to suck cock. 2. Always read the fine print. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 In Love With the Ferret by Pineau_noir Rated: Explicit Words: 21936 Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Awkward Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, But Mostly Comfort, Bellatrix isn't in the fic but her legacy lives on, Cursed objects, blink and you'll miss it case fic, so many songs from the '00s, Pining, Bad Puns, they all work at the ministry, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, a little girl gets cursed, but she's fine by the time Harry and Draco are called to the scene, NOTHING IS GRAPHIC, Song fic, because Draco loves Muggle music, Banter, giggly sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Harry mentions the time Luna gave him organic tea that got him high one time, Bottom Harry Potter, Top Draco Malfoy, sex magic because let's be honest, who wouldn't want to clean up with magic, oh yeah and there's scene where Harry's in the shower, wanking, If that's your thing - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, domestic drarry, SO, Domestic, Set in 2008, So book canon timeline, H/D Wireless 2020 Summary: Harry has never been the most observant bloke. Sometimes to the point of him not realising his feelings for a particular pointy, pale git. And it's not his fault if literally everyone else knows about said feelings except for Harry and the git in question. So it's really not his fault, when faced with the scope of his feelings, he suddenly has a hard time talking to one Draco Malfoy. Or looking him in the eye. Or not being a total weirdo around him. There's nothing to do but take the advice of his friends and try to woo Draco over dinners with friends, Ministry cases, and an unfortunately named Italian restaurant. Harry just can't stop the flutter in his chest when he sees Draco smile. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 slipping through the cracks (of your cold embrace) by swisstae Rated: Mature Words: 14406 Tags: Auror Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Auror Partners, Established Relationship, Nightmares, Memory Magic, Cursed objects, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, Soft sex, Anal Sex, Misunderstandings, Arguments, nightmares being lived out, Heavy Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Feels, all the angst basically, Hopeful Ending, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, H/D Hurt!Fest 2020, Sectumsempra Scene | Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter's Duel in the Bathroom, Self Loathing Draco Malfoy, Spoilery Warning in End Notes, okay so this is just two silly bois who need to have a grown up conversation, considering they ARE grown-ups in this fic, cathartic crying can be found here Summary: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. Archenemies at school, on opposite sides of the war that tore the Wizarding world in half -- and yet, lovers who overcame all odds to be together. That's where it all starts. And maybe, that's where it all ends. (in which Draco finds a cursed object, shit goes down, and everyone needs to talk about Feelings.) ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Gossip Boys by mypetelephant Rated: Explicit Words: 24093 Tags: N/A Summary: Confiscated Dark objects have been disappearing from the Ministry, and journalist Harry Potter is on the case. Unfortunately, he has to drag along Draco Malfoy, gossip columnist extraordinaire, whose subject of choice is everyone's favorite desultory hero. Forced to contend with cursed objects, international smugglers, and a lesson on the value of gossip, all Harry wants is to put out a respectable article. Oh, and to forget a night that only Draco knows and will never write about. Written for HD Career Fair 2012. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Paws of Fury by Veritas03 Rated: Explicit Words: 87190 Tags: Male Slash, kitten fic, Mystery, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Complete Summary: "Bellow, bluster… your rage is insignificant. No more than the mewing of a kitten. Do not be afraid. He will save you. Calm you. Love you." Harry has a furry little problem – but Draco’s scent soothes the savage beastie. Will Draco be able to save him when Harry’s world begins to crumble? Bubbles, blowjobs, mystery – and something rotten in the place of Grimmauld. Yes, yes - it's a Kitten!Harry fic. I know what you’re thinking - but it was there and I had to get it out of my system. Give it a chance. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Love It or List It by bangyababy Rated: Explicit Words: 13767 Tags: Grimmauld Place, Renovations, Fuck Or Die, Forced Proximity, bed sharing, Top Draco Malfoy, Bottom Harry Potter, Praise Kink, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Feelings, carefree Draco Malfoy, Slow Burn, A Time Skip Summary: Draco Malfoy has been mysteriously hired to renovate Grimmauld Place. Harry Potter has nothing better to do since leaving the Aurors. Throw in an ancient ceremonial vase, a neglected (and magical house), loneliness, and you've got the beginnings of a beautiful relationship. That is if they (or the house) don't kill each other first. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Out of the Woods by Janieohio Rated: Teen and Up Words: 34987 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, POV Alternating, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Background Relationships, supportive friends, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Mind Healer Harry Potter, Shop Owner Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Harry Potter Raises Teddy Lupin, Sassy Harry Potter, Sarcastic Draco Malfoy, Minor Violence, Minor Injuries, Mystery, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Cute Teddy Lupin, Misunderstandings, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Explicit Language, Yoga, Into the Woods References, Therapy, Custody Issues, Minor Character Death, Minor Character Engagement, Dismissive Attitudes about Mental Illness, Childhood Trauma, Fae & Fairies, Brothers Grimm, Fairy Tale Elements - see notes for more details, H/D Erised 2020, Harry Potter Has Long Hair, Kid Fic, Minor Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Minor Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Minor Neville Longbottom/Hannah Abbott/Luna Lovegood, Background Polyamory, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Past Draco Malfoy/Original Male Characters Summary: Teddy closes his eyes, wishing beyond wishes that the two men in his life whom he loves more than anyone would just learn to get along. A light flares. Teddy cries out, and the room falls silent. Harry and Draco struggle to find a way to escape a world of dark fairy tales and get back to Teddy, but the challenges they face are not all hidden in the woods. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Under the Bludgeonings of Chance by spookywoods Rated: Mature Words: 45130 Tags: Case Fic, Aurors, Scotland, Department of Mysteries, Kneazles, Not Epilogue Compliant, Herbology, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Kissing, Pining, Angst, Murder Mystery, Kidnapping, Cockblocking Ficus Summary: After eight months on his first undercover mission, Harry suddenly finds himself caught up in a bizarre mix of events revolving around a red kneazle, the murder of a rich Pureblood, and an unapologetic, acrobatic Draco Malfoy. Featuring Greek Curses, out of season Christmas Jumpers, and Gilderoy Lockhart's sister (or is it?). ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Before the World Was Made by daftfear Rated: Teen and Up Words: 42976 Tags: EWE, magical bonding, Language Summary: Draco has done everything in his power to leave the past behind him. He’s established himself a successful business and built a reputation around the quality of his work and the breadth of his knowledge. But when aurors show up at his shop one afternoon, seeking his expertise on a peculiar item of questionable origins, they completely overthrow the precarious balance in Draco’s life. Trust Potter to bring danger and destruction in his wake, along with a painful reminder of all the things Draco is trying to forget. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Want a Whole Lotta Love by musiclily88 Rated: Not Rated Words: 1762 Tags: Quarantine, Cursed Object, draco is a researcher of cursed objects, Harry is an Auror, This is very niche Summary: Cursed objects and quarantine ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Slytherin Urn by ICMezzo Rated: Explicit Words: 4652 Tags: magic kink, Spell-Casting kink, Sexual Fantasy, Redemption, Unspeakable Draco, Auror Harry Summary: Nothing turns Harry on quite like redemption. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 An Auror, A Curse Breaker and a Tea Pot by dracogotgame Rated: General Words: 1572 Tags: Aurors, Curse Breaking, Humour, Fluff, Oneshot, Creatures, injuries Summary: Harry fights a teapot and loses. At least it gets better from there. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Impervius by ravenclawsquill Rated: Explicit Words: 10997 Tags: Humor, Bickering, Case Fic, Forced Proximity, Romance, Drizzle - Freeform, Banter, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Explicit Sexual Content, Curse Breaker Draco Malfoy, Auror Harry Potter, Pink Umbrella - Freeform, Wet Clothing, Competence Kink, pub, Flirting, Hideous Decor, Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Bottom Draco, Top Harry, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Disastrous Transfiguration Summary: Harry and Draco are working together on a case in the beautiful English Lake District. Or, it would be beautiful if only it would stop raining. Fortunately, Harry has an umbrella. Unfortunately, it's pink and frilly, and Draco would rather die than share it with him. Featuring a cursed cave, endless bickering and a pesky flock of sheep. ❤️ Read on AO3

#game of drarry #drarry #drarry recs #wizards hearts #wh masterlist

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uribo-in-space · 4 years

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Star Trek TOS First Time Viewing Reaction - S2E2: Who Mourns for Adonais?

DISCLAIMER: I have seen some TNG and Voyager when I was a child and later the AOS movies as a teenager. I felt quarantine time was the right moment to begin the ambitious project “Star Trek marathon 2020/(2021?20??)”, meaning I’m going to watch all of Star Trek starting with TOS finishing with Disco (or maybe we have Strange New Worlds by the time I catch up haha). I started TOS last month and I AM LIVING. IT’S AWESOME and sparks so much joy. I decided I could just write up my thoughts as I am viewing it for the first time as a memory of the experience, not knowing most episodes at all. So, there we go.

Spoilers obviously - just in case somebody else is 50 years late like me, haha.

Opening scene: Scotty flirts with a female lieutenant on the bridge. So far so cute. What about the dialogue from Bones and Kirk accompanying this scene though?

MCCOY: I'm not sure I like that, Jim. KIRK: Why, Bones? Scotty's a good man. MCCOY: And he thinks he's the right man for her, but I'm not sure she thinks he's the right man. On the other hand, she's a woman. All woman. One day she'll find the right man and off she'll go, out of the service. KIRK: I like to think of it not so much losing an officer as gaining SCOTT: Come along. (He and Carolyn enter the turbolift.) KIRK: Actually, I'm losing an officer.

like - what? I had to rewatch this scene to fully understand what they’re saying. I think it’s interesting that, despite TOS being like 50 years old now, I find it easy to forget we’re actually in the 60s/70s when binge watching. Watching it now is sometimes a weird meta experience as you tend to overlook elements that were considered super futuristic in the 60s but are perfectly normal now, so that you actually miss some FUTURISTIC elements because you’re living those aspects of FUTURE already. Yes, of course women quitting their jobs after marriage still happens, but it is not considered a “rule” or “natural order of events” anymore, and is (talking from a western perspective) more of a choice and you would not assume this happening automatically. Especially if you produced an utopian sci-fi series today, that concept would probably not be included. Anyway, it’s pretty interesting that female Starfleet members seem to drop out of service after marriage and it is not considered something a captain or anyone can do something about in the future (I mean, apparently the men still continue their service? I only have divorced Bones for reference so far though). Anyway, TLDR, I am not judging the 60s relics as they are a product of their time, I think they are rather an interesting addition to the viewing experience in 2020, considering the writers did think this concept would persist in the far future. Back to the episode.

IS THAT A GIANT HAND IN SPACE

I love that Chekov casually assumes he has hallucinations - like bro do you have reasons to believe that and what did you do in your free time

This hand really kills me. I also could not believe what I am seeing but I love it

Spock stating he is not offended because you need emotions to be offended - interesting, Spock, so what happened when Kirk pulled a yo mama joke on you in that Paradise Hippie Love Romance Pollen episode (man that was a gem of an episode)

Chekov has one of the most HILARIOUS lines in that episode (next to having one of the most hilarious hairstyles, his hairstyle looks like an interesting over the top take on the Beatles haircut and his head looks so much like a mushroom I feel like he has a side job in Mario Kart):

APOLLO: Search your most distant memories, those of the thousands of years past, and I am there. Your fathers knew me, and your father's fathers. I am Apollo.

CHEKOV: And I am the tsar of all the Russias.

KIRK: Mister Chekov.

CHEKOV: I'm sorry, Captain. I never met a god before.

Chekov be sassy to gods

I can’t let this haircut go, as it got me thinking: Is there a hairdresser on the Enterprise?

That’s a thing to explore

What gossip that person might hear sign me up

So, the guy really is the God Apollo huh

Costume note 1: That toga Apollo wears is SO SMALL like - “SIR nice to meet you but you’re REVEALING THINGS please sit with more modesty OR - NO NOT LIKE THAT”

Costume note 1, addition: Nice to see the ratio of revealing costumes of men & women wearing sexy revealing clothing in this episode is very equal

Apollo really has a worshipping kink huh

But as a Greek god you probably have that

Also where ARE the other gods? Like he just casually says they are all gone... “with the wind” but... why? Did they suffer from worship withdrawal like he does now?

Also: I really LOVE the concept they introduced that the Ancient Greek gods were just a bunch of space travellers visiting Earth who decided to chill there for a while and be all powerful and worshipped. But as Kirk says in the end they were a huge factor for mankind to move to the Golden Age, which is a cool thought.

Seriously what a fun premise? I would watch that as a series. Hera, Artemis, Zeus, Apollo etc. all chilling on their ship and having fights and romances and space adventures on strange planets. I imagine them being a really chaotic and high-maintenance bunch though

Thinking about it, Apollo said he was a demi-god with a human mother (if I understood that correctly) so basically he was born on Earth and never saw (what I assumed is) their home planet until he was an adult and they returned (why did they return?)? But the Enterprise crew defeats him by finding out his “god powers” are actually originating from the temple structure on the planet, so does that work long distance then?? Like they could access their home planet powers from far away...? And not the powers themselves are passed down by genes but rather the access to it? Or is it that they need worship to thrive (like that’s why it worked on Earth and they just need a temple?) Questions over questions. Love the concept overall.

Kirk, Scotty and Chekov talking about energy patterns and science and how to defeat Apollo (also Chekov you’re such a smart boy! and he says he is only 22 in this episode awwW and the others are looking at him like - wow a child is with us) and Bones just randomly... grabs a bowl of fruit, holds it a bit and puts it aside - as I saw no note for that in the script I think it was improvised by Kelley... but why? Like was somebody from the staff whispering last minute “oh no that bowl is ruining the shot take it away subtly if you can”? It really startled me but it’s kinda funny.

Chekovs hair is even more FLUFFY and voluminous in this scene like did they bring the Enterprise’s hairdresser with them? (It’s cute)

CHEKOV: Perhaps if I assisted. KIRK: How old are you? CHEKOV: Twenty two, sir. KIRK: Then I'd better handle it.

Also I like protective Scotty in this episode. I think it is one of the first times he really gets some character development and proper screen time

Kirk being choked by Apollo is on the thin line of really intense acting and passing into Shatners school of overacting but - it works so I am giving a thumbs up for very INTENSE acting

I feel somebody shouted at him “MORE INTENSE” “MORE MOANING” “INTENSITYYY” “BE MORE CHOKED”

Lieutenant Carolyn is kind of a weak character and is pretty much the embodiment of a 60s ideal of a woman but HELL she is beautiful

Costume Note 3: I actually like the cut of her costume, it is an imaginative take on the toga and also sexy - I was surprised they aired it like that tbh - like from one side it looks like she is topless really

Costume Note 3 addition: but then HOW did they fix it? Like she’s not wearing any kind of bra and the fabric is not attached to anything so I guess they glued it to her skin in a lot of places huh - also there is a scene with a storm and a strong wind where I feel the way she tries to protect and cover herself is not just acting but really an attempt by the actress to catch her costume from flying away and not trusting the glue the costume people used

I don’t want to imagine how many wardrobe malfunctions she had with that costume and how many times she stood there topless in front of everyone so... idk

I guess same goes for Apollos costume lol so fair

On a more positive note on the portrayal of women is Uhura’s role here. Her in that mechanics uniform building a bypass circuit in that crammed space under her console (she still has her full hairdo which gets all squished oh NO and the hairdresser is down on the planet fixing Chekovs mushroom!) - you go girl

UHURA: Mister Spock, I haven't done anything like this in years. If it isn't done just right, I could blow the entire communications system. It's very delicate work, sir.

SPOCK: I can think no one better equipped to handle it, Miss Uhura. Please proceed.

Thumbs up for the supporting Spock.

Also I love every time Spock takes over the Bridge. It’s so cool.

So that’s all! Overall a campy episode at first look but I was pleasantly surprised by the concept of the Greek Gods being space travellers etc. Thumbs up for that giant hand too (pun intended). I like to imagine that like with episodes that play in a middle-age setting they just had a set from another movie lying around and thought - how can we make this a strange planet - but that’s really part of the charme of it for me.

This was a long text huh.

BONUS QUOTE (or rather BONES QUOTE?) - as it was my favorite:

MCCOY: To coin a phrase, fascinating.

#star trek tos #star trek marathon 2020 #star trek #star trek episode reaction #star trek tos s2 #star trek tos s2e2 #who mourns for adonais

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laureviewer · 4 years

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God of War (2018): A Review

Warning: HEAVY story spoilers

I’m not trying to sell you a game. I want to give you an in-depth review and analysis of the story, characters, gameplay and all other aspects of this brilliant game, spoilers and all. I want a discussion. So, dive in and see what I really thought, no holds barred.

King of the Norse

‘I don’t want it’, says the Jon Snow of the God of War franchise, Kratos. He doesn’t want to be a god, he doesn’t want to interfere or help in others’ lives, he doesn’t want his son to know his past—or to remember it himself, for that matter. But this fish-out-of-water story of a Greek god living in a Norse world forces him to accept his past, present and future.

The story is blissfully and tragically simple. A man sets out to spread the ashes of his recently deceased wife and mother of his son, Atreus, and to honour her by doing so on the tallest peak in all the realms, as was her request. This aim seems completely achievable: you can even see the peak of the mountain in the distance as you set off. But if I know anything about journeys, it’s that they are never that simple. A mysterious man who can’t be hurt attacks Kratos, for reasons unknown. The mountain may not be their final destination after all. And a man and his son set out on a journey that is as much about their relationship as much as it is about fulfilling their loved one’s final wishes.

A (Reluctant) Man of the People

If you’ve read enough of my reviews by now, you’ll know that open world is one of my favourite video game tropes. GOW isn’t quite open world but still enough to sink your teeth into. In fact, the open world elements adopted by the game makes finishing it a lot more doable than traditional giant open world games, like Skyrim or The Witcher 3 with their hundreds of side quests all over the map. There are side quests in GOW, sure, but they are called ‘Favors’ (which melds well with the overarching theme of gods and sacrifice in the narrative) and fall into five sub-categories for a total of only sixteen favors: dwarfs, wayward spirits, dragons, realms, and Valkyries.

However, even though they aren’t technically counted as favors, there’s a multitude of other tasks to complete, such as closing Realm Tears by fighting elite monsters, collecting artifacts and lore about the world, and killing Odin’s spiritual raven spies. I’m not going to 100% the game or anything, but I love searching every corner of the map to complete that satisfying checklist of things to find.

However, I did find my anxiety spiking a few times with the fact that you don’t have all your powers at once. Sure, it’s useful when the lack of powers blocks you out of places the story doesn’t want you to get to yet, and it’s quite nice to go to old familiar places and uncover new areas and collectibles, but I was always wondering whether I was missing something, and whether I should just wait to go back to exploration areas when I actually have all the powers I need. Obviously there needs to be room for progression, but some puzzles couldn’t be solved without specific powers. Sometimes I wondered whether I was simply not doing the puzzle properly. It all became clear as the game progressed, but even so, I’m sure I spent more time than I should have done in some areas attempting to complete an area that couldn’t be completed. It often made me less willing to comb the area as I could never be sure if I had more to find than first apparent. This also made finding high level enemies another trigger to my must-complete-everything-while-I’m-here mentality. Thankfully, the map always logged where Realm Tears were if I couldn’t quite beat them yet. I only wish the map would do the same for Winds of Hel or other power puzzles that I would pass mournfully on my way to defeat a dark elf or two.

The actual favors encapsulate the very best of what GOW 4 has to offer: fetch-quests for your friends in the form of wisecracking dwarfs; helping the innocent such as allowing lost souls to find peace and freeing giant dragons (though you’d have thought they’d stop trying to attack you long enough to realise you are trying to HELP them); and incredibly challenging battles that help the realms and prove your worthiness simultaneously.

Sure, half the time Atreus instigates helping the innocent: Kratos, true to form, insists that helping others is experience for his son, or useful in gathering resources for their journey. Though, perhaps sometimes he doth protests too much, particularly when pushing back against helping the mysterious Witch of the Woods and the dwarfs. He claims that they are useful, and thus performing tasks for and not making enemies of them is helpful in achieving their goal, but we see his heart thawing the more time he spends with Atreus. We see you, Kratos, learning to love again even as it scares you. And it’s endearing, if not often very frustrating. Which leads us on to…

Atreus and the Struggles of Parenthood

Atreus’ empathy is also often his fatal flaw. He wants to help everyone, while Kratos wants to stay out of many conflicts, stating that one rarely knows the full story and thus cannot take sides—a definitive sum of the lessons he learned in his regretful past. As an ancient being—hey, James, how old is Kratos? You don’t know? Two thousand or something? Fine I’ll Google it. It’s uncertain but probably around 1050. Damn—he obviously has much more wisdom than a young boy. He is right when he advises Atreus to keep out of the war between the light and dark elves in Alfheim, though he’s not opposed strongly enough to not kill them as they get in his way. It’s less of a moral dilemma for Kratos, and more of a ‘we don’t know enough to make a judgement’. Atreus, we can tell at the beginning of the game, is going to eventually make Kratos more sympathetic, more caring towards other beings. Perhaps even more benevolent than any of the Aesir Norse gods, save Tyr. Though, that isn’t exactly hard.

And, then, you get further in the game. At first, you understand: Kratos is a dick to Atreus. He didn’t care to spend time with him while his mother was alive, and it shows. He refuses to tell Atreus he is a god, and that he is a god in turn, and the conflict of his body and mind being conflicted in what he truly is ends up being the reason for Atreus’ ongoing illness. It’s Kratos’ fault, and sure, he doesn’t know this until it’s nearly too late and he fixes it, but even so. All Atreus wants is to be loved and to make his father proud.

Until later, when he finds out he is a god and goes full diva. The game made me feel about Atreus the same way as I’m sure many parents feel about their children—though, full disclaimer, I’m not a parent, so don’t @ me. My friend says you always love them, and you want what’s best for them and make allowances for them, but oh my god sometimes you really don’t like them. This definitely happened with Atreus. From telling Sindri, one of our dwarf friends, that he is sick of dealing with ‘little people problems’ and making him sad, to saying to Kratos that they are gods and so can do whatever they like, dash the consequences to anyone, to killing a son of Thor against Kratos’ wishes for pure vengeance, made me question my role as a father. Even the little mutterings of ‘whatever’ whenever Kratos wants him to shoot an arrow at a target and one point in the game had me breathing out some mutterings of my own: ‘little shit’ and ‘goddamn I hate you’ were frequent curses.

And yet, by the end of the game I liked him again. Why? It wasn’t his fault. It was his conflicting body and mind; perhaps even the ‘trickery’ side of Loki was finally coming out. Maybe he was going a little mad with all the voices in his head. Plus, he saved my arse so many times in battle with his crazy shock arrows that I needed him. What? I didn’t say I was a perfect parent.

You know what’s really impressive? How this game makes Kratos a likeable character. In previous games (which, full disclosure, I never played) he seemed to be a vengeful man with no thought to anything but his own rage. Now, he has something more to live for—his son, and to honour the memory of his beloved wife. You really understand why he does the things he does. You believe he is trying to be a better person. You know the one thing he really wants to do is scatter his wife’s ashes, and will stop at nothing to fulfil her wishes. You may say he’s stupid for not wanting to tell Atreus the truth, but not only is he ashamed, but he also knows that Atreus may mirror his actions. This brings a duality to the secret that is so interesting that at times I wondered whether Kratos should tell Atreus, considering they don’t have the best relationship in the first place. The dichotomy between Kratos and Atreus is brilliant, and serves not just to humanise Kratos, but also fully makes me believe in their rocky bond as father and son. They are real, and honest, and the perfect grounding to such a profound adventure.

The rollercoaster of a narrative journey GOW took me through was nothing short of outstanding. And that’s even before we get into the Norse lore.

A Norse’s Life for Me

The conflict between Atreus and Kratos mirrors a theme that runs throughout the entire game throughout the franchise: that of a son killing his father, god against god. And this extends to the version of the Norse lore GOW has created. Favors and story quests alike see the struggle between children and their parents, and it is incredibly satisfying to see Kratos and Atreus overcome that and start to become ‘better’.

As lore that I wasn’t very familiar with, save the depictions of Thor, Odin and Loki from the Marvel universe, it was fascinating to hear the stories from Mimir, the hilarious disembodied head, and to glean them from the lore markers dotted around the realms. It was a great idea to do this from the point of view of Kratos, who does not know the lore and cannot read the language, and Atreus, who has an affinity of language and has been told many stories by his native mother. It’s a natural means of storytelling without it turning into a boring exposition dump. And who doesn’t love story time while rowing around the Lakes of Nine? Apart from Atreus at the beginning, I guess, when his only storyteller was straight-talking Kratos. Spoiler alert: his stories aren’t great.

Monster Visuals

Rowing across the Lake of Nine is when the story really opens up, bad stories or no. It’s here where you see the true beauty of the story through the stunning appearance of the World Serpent, who is as colossal as the name suggests, though not as scary. From there, using Tyr’s Temple (probably the best Aesir god out there), Kratos and Atreus slowly unlock the various realms, from the fiery homeland of the fire giants, Muspelheim, to the green-tinged Norse underworld, Helheim. Each realm has their own aesthetic, their own monsters, and their own story. While Midgard is bound to be most players’ favourite, due to how much bigger it is and its role as the central point of all the realms, my second favourite is Alfheim, land of the light and dark elves. As the first one to visit after Midgard, its purple hues, sparkling waters and chirping critters make it seem like a mystical world of potential. The fact that the elves are in constant war, doomed to continue for as long as both races live, is both desolate and a fact of life. Even an apparent paradise is rife with issues, and yet beauty can still be found in the worst of situations.

The realms are very cool, though if I were still in massive open world/RPG mindset, as I so often were, I’d wish that Niflheim and Muspelheim were more than just extra challenges. It would be cool if there were story-led reasons to go there, rather than leaving it to chance if the player gets there in the first place by finding their language cyphers.

The way the camera works doesn’t just give the incredible graphics the time they deserve, but also artfully serves the emotional highs and lows the story wants to hit. It gently guides you to some of the most awe-inspiring events, such as when a giant shows up or when you are fighting a being twice your size, to reflect the intensity as well as making sure you don’t miss them. But the best use of it is at some of the most tense and poignant moments of the game, such as when Kratos is reflecting on his mistakes and travelling to save his son. The camera doesn’t leave his face for lengthy periods, and this, along with the haunting crescendo of siren-like voices singing in accompaniment, really makes you understand what he is feeling, even though no words are said. You are forced to sit with him in silence and in relief. In pain and in quiet. It’s profound. I love it.

The visuals also shine in true GOW fashion: in battle. The place in which this really stands out is in the battle with Baldur at the end, when Freya is trying her utmost to intervene by animating the colossal corpse of a dead giant. While I thought this battle wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, it didn’t actually matter to me in the end as much as it did in other games such as Final Fantasy XV. The battleground kept changing, Baldur’s powers shifting between ice and fire was really interesting as it meant Kratos having to change his own weapons as needed, Baldur’s increasing insanity and glee at the fight, and—best of all—the giant was always in the background, being impressive and foreboding. Awesome.

The Art of War

The combat in GOW is some of the best I’ve ever experienced. I’m quite used to the hack and slash of RPGs, where the name of the game is simply to hold down R1 and wait for the cool combo moves to bloom out of the angsty protagonist. Okay, fine, it’s never that simple. But in God of War, almost every move counts, especially in the boss battles. Learning to trip monsters, discovering which ones will fall and which ones will not, where their weak points are, and navigating flying or digging enemies means that a lot of the battles mix it up every time. The skill trees that branch off as you upgrade your Leviathan Axe and Atreus’ Talon Bow makes that combat even more visually impressive with chained combos and other ways to fight. This system doesn’t give you as much freedom as many other games, though. Eventually, you’ll get enough experience to unlock every skill, and you’ll want to. Each one will help you in a fight. This is great in a way as I truly felt powerful by the end, and wasn’t worried about neglecting a skill for another, but means the combat is more linear than it could be. Maybe this is necessary as you have to think about combat in other, potentially smarter ways anyway.

Later in the game, you don’t just have to think of the attacks, but you also have to think of the elements of the monsters you are fighting. Do I want to use the ice-imbued axe that spins perfectly in the air and comes back like Mjolnir comes back to Thor? Not in Helheim I don’t, where the monsters are hardcore Ice Queen Elsa stans. Damn, I’m used to using that thing. Alright, time to break out the fiery Blades of Chaos, which you only get halfway through the game but old players will definitely get excited over like a member-berry in heat. Unless you are fighting volcanic draugrs, that is.

The fighting is made even more exciting with the brutality of pressing R3 once an enemy is stunned enough to be grabbed. The animations have Mortal Kombat-esque levels of gore, and as Kratos is an absolute beast, it’s believable as well as disgustingly fun. Want some extra stunnage? Then remember to use Atreus’ arrows, which can interrupt and stun even the biggest of beasts. He saved me more times than I can count. It’s one of the best uses of a sidekick character I’ve ever seen. Why? It’s not just the very useful skills he has, but crucially, HE CAN’T DIE. With memories of a well-intentioned but suicidal Lydia running in front of my sword and taking a fatal wound in the middle of an overpopulated dungeon, this is brilliant. Thanks, Skyrim. Plus, can you imagine having to be Kratos mourning over his dead son every time they lose in battle? Bit morbid, even for a game with this much gore and emotional impact.

Brok and Sindri aren’t just there to crack jokes and bring life into the world. They are also master blacksmiths who work on your Axe, Blades, and armour. The levelling up system is quite different from other traditional games—EXP doesn’t level you up as soon as you get it, but you can use the EXP to buy or upgrade armour, enchantments and talisman that, when worn altogether, give you an overall level. The simple act of replacing a level 7 chest plate with one that’s level 3 can lower your overall level from a 6 to a 5, making you less able to deal with those pesky high-level enemies. As such, it’s a massive variable, and one that players need to consider seriously not just as the game progresses, but also from battle to battle. Runes that you can slot in your armour can increase your frost or burn damage, increase your resistance to ailments, improve your runic attacks, give you extra burst of skills on hits or kills, or even more specific advantages. Some that I found most helpful were 5% less damage from Valkyries which, if you’ve fought one, you know how much of a game changer it can be!

This necessitation for learning the combat and doing it well means that the satisfaction level of defeating a big old boss who you’ve been dying to for the last hour is at well over 9000 (I’m looking at you, Valkyries screaming Valhalla! at me every three seconds). And, now I’m confident enough with it, that means I’ll be continuing with the post-game combat challenges for just a little while longer. This, combined with the beautiful graphics, gripping story, anti-hero and loveable side characters, the revolution of Kratos to multi-dimensional character, and a world brimming with lore and knowledge, makes this game one to remember.

What can I say, I’m obsessed.

#game review #gaming #god of war #godofwar #kratos #atreus #norse #norse mythology #odin #thor #games #review #video games

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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avelera · 5 years

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Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey - Final Review

So the final AC: Odyssey DLC for “Fate of Atlantis” was... underwhelming. Not a ton of content and no particularly emotional moments, for example reuniting with beloved characters like we had in Elysium (1/3) or the Underworld (2/3).

I think if you’re someone particularly invested in the Isu and the larger cosmology of the Assassin’s Creed world, that you may have a different takeaway. Mostly I enjoyed Odyssey for the exploration of Ancient Greece and found the Assassin’s Creed aspects, especially the modern era, to be a distraction at best and an aggravation at worst. To my eyes, as a Classicist and an archaeologist, it felt like the desire to show the unique Assassin’s Creed cosmology at times took away or confused opportunities to explore Greek mythology on its own terms (for example, without having the gods and goddesses all be part of some convoluted alien conspiracy) and added elements of modern technology that took me out of the story more often than they added to the world. The framing device of all this being a simulation was particularly unnecessary in Odyssey, in my opinion, and we could have easily just stayed couched in Kassandra/Alexios’s story without every leaving it.

If you’re like me and enjoy Greek mythology and history, and if you’ve been considering playing Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, here’s my short and sweet review:

- Stick to the main storyline, don’t worry too much about leveling or performing side quests, especially if you stay on easy mode. You can power through the main story pretty much without every needing to grind or take side quests, and for all but a few hiccups, the writing is quite solid especially in the core story (it gets dodgier in the DLCs and later content, probably as the team was downsized), the setting of Ancient Greece beautifully realized, and there are moments of genuine pathos and wonder.

- If you want to do a DLC, stick to the Fate of Atlantis one rather than Legacy of the First Blade, which is of much lower quality, unless you’re particularly invested in the Assassin’s Creed mythology, and again don’t worry too much about completionism and doing every quest unless you find yourself really enjoying the world. Try Fate of Atlantis for the stunning visuals and cool new gear, basically. Don’t think too hard on the rationale behind the drama and story of the DLCs because the tortured attempt to make Kassandra’s Ancient Greek RPG mesh with the Assassin’s Creed universe/modern world leaves logic gaps big enough to drive an Olympian charioteer through at times.

Kassandra as the player-selected protagonist is stunning, gorgeous, warm, and funny making her unique (in my experience) among video game heroines. She’s also the canonical protagonist. Alexios gets a bad rap, but he is also goofy and hilarious and achingly vulnerable at times, and I came to quickly love my dorky son. The two of them are remarkably different for all that their dialogue is technically the same. My personal recommendation is to play Kassandra first and then give Alexios a chance.

When it comes to completionism, I’d say it’s worth it to try to take out all the Cultists, especially if you can do so before “Amphipolis” but don’t get too bogged down with side quests unless, again, you find yourself really enjoying the world because it’s a huge world and it can be easy to run out of steam before you even get to the really good stuff. That said, it’s also the first game in a long time that I’ve poured hundreds of hours into, so consider this my strong recommendation to play it!

#assassin's creed #ac #assassin's creed odyssey #odyssey

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tearlessrain · 5 years

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time to subject myself to Dracula: The Dark Prince, aka another bad movie starring another dude from black sails. this time with 100% less horny on main because my only real motivation for watching it is it truly looks to be a whole new caliber of horrible and I have to see it.

witness my standards for incomprehensibly bad movies being raised prohibitively high in every way imaginable under the cut

I seriously doubt that.

this was made in 2013 by the way, not 1994 as the graphic design of that logo might suggest

oh good, once again we’re opening with an exposition narrator. except this time it’s a woman and she has less vocal inflection and emotional investment than an amazon echo.

I feel like she’s gonna tell me to turn left in 800ft

it feels like a dragon age epilogue, but just. worse.

WE ARE WATCHING A TRULY HIGH QUALITY MOVIE TONIGHT MY FRIENDS

I can’t even describe how bad this is, you really need the sound. that’s where the true lack of quality shines through. siri’s depressed sister is talking about pre-vampire dracula’s epic feats in battle to more weird sepia dioramas and the dying soldiers sound like they hired muppets to voice them

HOLY WIG BATMAN

also this dude is obnoxiously jovial considering he’s supposed to be dracula, even if this is pre-vampire

oh no dracula’s advisors, who all wear black hooded robes and scowl ominously, have betrayed him and killed his wife, how unexpected

someone drew these, looked at them, and thought “yeah that’s good enough to go in the final movie”

the characters are speaking both english and what I assume is... romanian or something? transylvanian? it’s not spanish or welsh I can tell you that much. anyway there are no subtitles and also no rhyme or reason to which they’re speaking at any given time so I hope I’m not missing anything important. probably not.

so like... they killed his wife, yes. and he went on a murderfest in what appears to be a church in revenge, makes sense. now a dude who... I think maybe he’s supposed to be a priest or something? but he wasn’t speaking english so I can’t be sure, then a voice over said “I have killed for god, the hand that fought for him will now be turned against him” but I’m unclear on who was speaking. this movie is an absolute clusterfuck and we aren’t even five minutes in yet. this is still the prologue.

now zombie alexa claims dracula was cursed with immortality “in punishment for his defiance” but I’m still not sure... what defiance. he killed the dudes who murdered his wife and that’s somehow not okay despite his apparent status as a war hero, a designation that implies a LOT of killing has already happened?

fucking finally, the title screen. usually a prologue clarifies what a movie is about but I went in thinking I knew and now have absolutely no idea what I’m watching.

a carriage drawn by friesians is rolling through a misty forest with wolf howling sound bites playing at random in the background to vaguely urgent music, now this is what I’m here to see.

nevermind the carriage is too slow so they’re leaving it because that’s a thing people do (?????)

“Lady Arwen, we cannot delay”

seriously though everyone’s mumbling so much I can’t understand them much better than when they were speaking whatever the other language was

BOOTLEG XENA RIDES AGAIN

but this time she’s accompanied by esme. we don’t know who esme is yet either.

there she goes

and now the knights are being attacked by hilarious squeaky goblin things? who I guess are led by this power rangers villain with, again, an unintentionally hilarious voice. it’s like a bad batman impression.

with every minute that passes I become less certain of what I’m actually watching.

they’re looking for the “light bringer” and telepathically overseen by the world’s most halfassed lestat dracula

they’ve also got some random prisoners in a cage wagon

okay the prisoners are being taken to dracula’s castle and I’m sorry for such an image-heavy post but I NEED you to understand the community theater level of set design/quality we’re dealing with here

“what is that?” cardboard and mod podge is my guess

so far the only thing esme has done is fall off her horse and be knocked unconscious, and now a Roving Band of Misogynists has appeared to harass Bootleg Xena 3.0 in the most generic way possible (the words “what ‘ave we got ‘ere” accompanied by a chorus of malicious cackling and some whistles have been spoken)

oooh no the ringleader of the Roving Misogynists has been given a name, and it’s ~Lucien~. I have a horrible feeling that I’m about to bear witness to the worst romantic subplot in the history of cinema.

oh for... I thought at least bootleg xena 3.0 would be a Strong Female Character and fight them off, but she just rapped lucien on the head with her sword and then they stole her very important box and left as obnoxiously as they came

OH NO SHE’S ASKING TO GO WITH THEM, SOMEHOW THAT’S HER PLAN I THINK I’M RIGHT SHE’S GONNA HOOK UP WITH LUCIEN AND IT’S GOING TO BE HORRIBLE.

“trust me” she says to esme, who, wisely, obviously does not.

I appreciate the timely thunderclap every single time the castle comes on screen

who the fuck are you, did you wander onto the wrong movie set

nope okay they’re not gonna explain that shot at all we’re just moving on to a shot of a weird angel shadow doing slow flamenco moves on the ceiling while ominously gurgling, and the prisoners being led into the throne room

“what’s happening to us?” I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE SAME THING, PRISONER #3

oh never mind that guy from before wasn’t a priest, he is remfield, chancellor of this kingdom, which means the last scene he was in makes even less sense

AKSLDGHJFGAKDLFJGHKAJGHFDKLFDS;GJokay so. remfield introduced himself then said “I will see that your needs are tended to.” then dracula in his new white contacts gets up from his shadowy throne, circumnavigates the cluster of prisoners, sniffs them dramatically, and walks back to his throne. remfield then says, “come, I will see that your needs are tended to” because proofreading is for COWARDS

now remfield is... literally giving the prisoners a tour of the castle and going on the “oh you’re our guests and many pleasures and adventures await you” speech and somehow the prisoners are accepting this despite the fact that they were just carted in on a barred wagon in shackles and got sniffed by a bad alucard cosplayer. they have a fucking harpist.

seriously, who the fuck are you

she’s just been twirling around in the background of this entire scene for no discernible reason no matter what rooms they go into

what the hell am I watching

yeah they’re just going for that incredibly suspicious food and also seem weirdly okay with the ambient clusters of scantily clad lesbians no one will explain okay they deserve whatever happens to them

WHOA TITS apparently this movie is a different rating than I thought

remfield: the newcomers have settled in

dracula: I d o n ‘ t l i k e s t r a n g e r s

then why pray tell have you brought them directly into your home in chains. I cannot stress enough how avoidable this situation was for you my dude

“just think sire, once the light bringer is in your possession no one need die again” “except those who defy me” [ominous chime as the angel shadow on the ceiling continues its sensuous flamenco dance]

meanwhile in the misty blue filter forest of eternal night, some guy in a tricorn finds a gold amulet that I think bootleg xena 3.0 dropped, and the power ranger villain rides menacingly in a random direction for a few seconds

I’m still waiting on whether this masterful display of cinematic calvinball has any cohesive story to it.

ah joy and we’re back to The Non-Adventures of Xena 3.0, Esme, and the Roving Misogynists

as an aside, I’m not calling her that just to be dumb, I’m calling her that because they still haven’t given her a name even though her sidekick got one in the first five minutes

they’ve opened the box and revealed... the light bringer, which is a wooden staff. because it is not shiny gold, the roving misogynists regard it with confounded disgrunglement and scoff at xena 3.0′s insistence that it can defeat dracula

these guys sound like what an eleven year old thinks gangs of ne’er-do-wells sound like. like cartoon weasels, if the weasels were also mediocre pirates who have heard of women, conceptually, but never seen one. like goblins in a pre-written D&D campaign run by a slightly overwhelmed first time DM.

HUR DUR WALKING STICK NOT TREASURE, WOMAN DUMB

it’s what cain used to slay abel, apparently. given that zombie alexa mentioned that dracula is the descendent of abel, this leaves us with the terrifying implication that someone did put at least some vestige of effort into writing this movie.

oh good she’s finally gonna fight lucien

no she failed again. please someone just punch the shit out of lucien so he’ll stop.

NO WHY ARE YOU MAKING OUT STOP IT GOD HAVE SOME STANDARDS WOMAN. STOP PLAYING FLOATY ROMANTIC MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND THEY ARE LITERALLY STILL STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ENTIRE BAND OF ROVING MISOGYNISTS

I thought it might at least be a trick but no she is actually, genuinely starstruck over this profoundly mediocre olde-timey frat boy who called her “sweetheart” while she was trying to explain to him why the ancient dracula-defeating relic was important.

this guy.

we did it boys, we found a worse love story than twilight

also I just. I wish I could convey with words the way the roving misogynists react to every single thing lucien and sometimes xena 3.0 says like the world’s worst greek chorus in a literally neverending stream

lucien (post makeout and xena 3.0 explaining again that the relic is ancient and powerful and they’ve searched for ages to find it): well we may not be knights but we can respect that

[cacophony of rowdy but understated agreement]

lucien: what do you think boys, should we give it back?

[assorted grumbles of assent]

xena 3.0: hm, a thief with a conscience

[gruff mercenary-esque chuckling]

lucien: maybe even a heart

[chorus of “ooooooOOOooh”s and some whistles]

it just goes on like that in every scene they happen to be physically adjacent to, they never shut up but also never actually contribute or say anything meaningful

ah, the mysterious leonardo has appeared. I think he was the one they were trying to take the light bringer to so that’s handy

“what is happening here? what is this flirtation?? is this the people to share your sacred secrets with???” - leonardo, the only remotely rational person in the entire movie

oh he is schooling these idiots, finally someone with sense. it’s bouncing right off of lucien, but at least he’s saying it.

“the scourge” - leonardo

“scourge!” “scourge!?” “scourge?” “hrgghhg??” “hrrm...” - the roving misogynists

power ranger villain and his squeaking goblins vs leonardo, the most useless female leads of all time, and the roving misogynists. who will win.

not the people watching this movie, I can tell you that much.

oh no, the lightbringer isn’t working. this will do nothing to convince the roving misogynists that it isn’t a walking stick

oop, wilhelm scream

oh no lucien has picked up the light bringer

goddamn it he’s the chosen one isn’t he

yep he activated the stick and now we all have to suffer

oh xena 3.0′s coming for power ranger villain maybe she’ll actually do something

nope she bounced off him and now he’s grabbed her and hauled her onto his horse

“you’re coming with me” he says in his weird batman voice, to make sure the audience can tell that he is in fact taking her with him

and esme has yelled “no” to make sure we remember that she’s in the movie

wait what the. did lucien just yell “xena” is that her actual name what the fuck. what the fuck. I had to have misheard that. okay I can’t tell what he’s saying for sure but someone’s bound to say her name again at some point in the movie so I’ll revisit that.

and on that note, I think I’ll end here, because there ended up being a LOT more to unpack in this movie than I expected, it’s after midnight, and I’m tired.

tomorrow, we follow lucien as he presumably goes to save some lady he wildly disrespected and then made out with one time whose name may or may not actually be xena, and hopefully figure out what the hell is even going on with dracula, remfield, and their castle full of artfully strewn half naked harpist lesbians and dancing ceiling shadows. because right now I really don’t have time to unpack all that, and I have a feeling it will only get worse.

#this is #a masterpiece #no description of mine can hope to do it justice #hypnotically incomprehensible #tearless liveblogs

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themonsterblogofmonsters · 5 years

Text

Monsterblog Recommends: My Hero Academia [Anime]

Previously - Monsterblog Recommends: Favourite Greek Myths by L.S. Hyde

So this was meant to go up last week but a lot happened or to be more accurate Everything happened and I ended up too exhausted and busy to write this rec post.

Which is a shame because this anime is so damn good.

1. What is My Hero Academia?

Well here I’m specifically talking about the anime (I’ve not read the manga yet though I will once I’ve caught up on Ancient Magus Bride and the next volume I need to get for JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure) and well... its an anime. Its a very good anime.

The premise is that superpowers started to crop up, called “quirks”, and its at a point where the majority of people in the world have them. Due to the rise in superpowers there’s been a rise in supercrime and, perhaps unexpectedly, vigilante heroes. In order to try to limit unaccountable damages, Heroes become a government managed part of society, with Heroes having to pass tests, gain licenses and many end up working in agencies in order to help specific areas or work with specific things - one Hero, for example, who’s Quirk is “Seal” (he can do pretty much anything a seal can) works with coastguard and counter-smuggling efforts.

Izuku “Deku” Midoriya is one of a minority: he has no Quirk at all. But, above all, he wants to be a hero, and idolises All Might, the number one Hero and hero who the majority of aspiring Heroes (and even some current heroes) consider to be a goal and an ideal. To all of Japan, in this setting, All Might is a symbol of peace - he’s never been bested.

Deku wants more than anything to be a hero... and when one day he meets All Might, he gets that chance.

The story shows us this and then continues on, introducing a fantastic cast of characters (and Mineta) and shows Deku’s journey to becoming a hero, gaining control of a power gifted to him, as well as building the world around it, raising criticisms about the idea of paid heroes (most effectively questioned by Hero Killer Stain in one of the most badass fights in the series) as well as about the stability of a society who relies on their one symbol of peace to feel and be safe.

2. Why I’m recommending it.

Um... everything? The animation is amazing, they get the style of the manga, so far as I can tell, and then they just animate it so perfectly. Its distinct and gorgeous and lets them go a bit out there with the body shapes and designs - things that wouldn’t easily work IRL, as you can see if you look up the character designs for the live action play - but also the animation style, the writing in general, the questions raised, the emotions they inspire and goddamn the music and use of musical motifs is amazing.

And the characters.

Ignoring Mineta (the tiny one on the far left) all of the characters are GREAT. Left to right (ignoring Mineta) you’ve got Ochaco, who’s Quirk lets her make things weightless, Deku, who is gifted a superpower by another, Bakugo, who is a dick but who actually gets reasonable character development, Iida, who’s a stick in the mud but a hilarious stick in the mud, and Froppy, who is darling and adorable.

That’s not even the full cast. This image misses out one of my favourite of Deku’s entire class - Todoroki - as well as some of my favourite non-student characters, such as the villain Shigeraki and the teacher Aizawa.

This image adds two more characters; as well as Froppy in the bottom left there, and Ochaco, Deku, Iida and Bakugo in the middle, the redhead on the left is Kirishima, who can make his skin super tough, and the one on the left is my favourite Todoroki.

I’m biased when it comes to Todoroki, but if you liked the feels that Zuko gave you when watching Avatar: The Last Airbender, you’ll probably have a blast with Todoroki.

Other good characters are the villain Dabi:

Who sets shit on fire like WOAH.

Shigeraki, who’s quirk is Decay - if he touches his thumb and all four fingers to something they start to break down, which he uses very effectively to threaten people:

And Eraserhead - Aizawa - who has the power to “erase” Quirks when a person is in his sightline and who is the students homeroom teacher. He’s a dour, grumpy man who takes his duty of seeing his students safe incredibly seriously, and despite his grumpiness, you will find yourself growing attached to him.

(Do not fuck with an angry eraserhead. 98% of the time he seems sleepy and bored but if you fuck up he will fuck you up. He’s great)

3. Less Good Things / Trigger Warnings

Early on when Deku is trying to get a handle on his power he often breaks limbs. Even when he gets a better handle on it all, he often ends up doing himself serious injury as a result of his goals to win. At one point he systematically breaks each of his fingers in turn, sometimes twice, in order to try to win. Even though he loses that fight physically, he still achieves his goal.

All For One is a horrifying bastard on multiple levels, while the Nomus are more straightforwardly “Oh GOD” at least until you learn their backstory and then you may or may not closed mouth scream for a bit.

Also, minor spoiler BUT:

Bakugo also actively tells Deku to kill himself early on. Its not direct and its phrased more as “your only hope is to be reincarnated with a Quirk” but he does suggest suicide to Deku and regularly bullies him.

I want you all to understand that this does not in anyway negate the way his slow character growth will make you feel. The author of the anime, Kohei Horikoshi, is some kind of genius, because he manages to make you care about a kid who has systematically bullied the main character and told him to kill himself.

Somehow.

4. Spoilers and Further Points

I ain’t spoiling this thing for you any more than I have already in giving you this summary and info. I mean, I spoiled myself before going into it and it turned out fine, but I’m not going to directly spoil anything for you now. Instead, I shall give you all...

5. Further Reading

... which is entirely optional.

You can find the Wikia for the anime and manga over Here.

You can find a good article on the show over Here.

You can watch the show on Crunchyroll over Here.

And here are a bunch of great videos about MHA that I watched before watching the anime. Do so at your own risk because they DO contain spoilers.

youtube

This is a video about the similarities between Naruto and MHA, though I confess, I’ve never seen Naruto. I also have no intention of ever doing so.

youtube

Here’s a video about the importance of All Might in the narrative.

Next up, there’s three videos about some of the fights in My Hero Academia (I’m having to straight link the last one, because tumblr doesn’t like more than five videos embedded in a post and I really want you all to see the last one):

youtube

And the last one which is this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s45lYzA3UYw “United States of Smash! - Animelee (All Might vs All for One)”

And last of all, here is an excellent video about how the show manages to make Bakugo so incredibly hateable early on, only to make him effectively sympathetic later.

youtube

#monsterblog recommends #my hero academia

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regalpotato · 5 years

Note

*waves hello* Do you have any head canons involving Liv x Helen & River x Eight?

Oh, Anon, you do not know what essay length hell you have unleashed. Below a cut so as to not destroy people’s dashboards:

Liv/Helen Headcanons

- Helen realised she was in love with Liv during Ship in a Bottle. I mean, Liv is amazing and Helen has known that from almost the start, but when Liv is going on about never giving up, because that’s who she is, and that entire passionate speech…Helen’s just ‘oh shit’.

-Though I also (because who doesn’t have conflicting headcanons?) think Helen doesn’t actually realise she’s in love with Liv yet (gay denial anyone?). Regardless, BIG FINISH LET THEM KISS PLEASE THANKS.

-On the other side of the spectrum, Liv’s been in love with Helen from their first hello. Legit. Go relisten to The Red Lady. First thing she even says to Helen is a breathy little ‘hi’ and later when the Doctor is inviting Helen to join them, saying how she’s amazing, Liv agrees with a sort of ‘heart eyes wonder’ tone to her voice. (But Katie, that’s not love, that’s infatuation - okay, so, you’re right. But honest to god, by Absent Friends, Liv is 100% in love with Helen. I mean, her utter confusion at Helen asking for one room, and then instantly doing whatever Helen wants? Girl has it bad)

-Helen is frequently personally offended by the TARDIS translation matrix. “I spent years of my life learning Ancient Greek, Liv! The fact you can just read it like that isn’t fair, and it isn’t funny!” Liv of course, finds it hilarious, and also adorable.

-It’s canon that the TARDIS loves Liv, but I also think the TARDIS now sees Helen as HER PRECIOUS CHILD WHO MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS because there’s no way a sentient being can watch someone struggle for DECADES to save the ones she loves (and the Doctor is the TARDIS’ precious thief, so bonus points there) without developing a SUPER INTENSE fondness for them.

-Liv hates snow. I mean, that’s already canon thanks to her hating any cold and damp weather (THANKS DARK EYES), and also she says she hates it in Better Watch Out. And then, after Fairytale of Salzburg, she REALLY hates anything Christmassy, especially snow…..Until Helen shows her how great Christmas can be (especially snow, when it’s being thrown at the Doctor).

-Tula is fed up of hearing Helen’s name. Because Liv would mention it at least 6 times a day during her year on Kaldor.

-Considering Helen is a confirmed canon lesbian, but the only real hint we’ve had (I say that because the woman exudes lesbian aura, come on, we all know) is her obvious attraction to River/River’s psychic wimple (Striking, rather like Rita Hayworth//Works for me! And for you! Who’d have thought, Miss Sinclair!) - and then the way she shuts River down by redirecting the conversation - makes me think she’s the repressed lesbian she really should be considering she’s from the 1960′s (also her bully of a father definitely knew she was gay and that’s half the reason he was a dick to her). I mean, Liv frequently refers to women as beautiful/sexy/attractive, but we have practically nothing of the sort from Helen. AND I REALLY HOPE BIG FINISH ADDRESS THIS?? (I was slightly annoyed at how she didn’t bat an eye over there being a married lesbian couple + son in the xmas two parter…)

-Which brings me on to the next headcanon. Liv is bisexual (writer confirmed canon), but she 100% prefers women. I mean, 1. she’s not attracted to the Doctor (canon - from her short story set during Dark Eyes) which is insane because HAVE YOU SEEN EIGHT? 2. She mentions, frequently, how attractive women (River especially) are.

-Helen is the closed off one, Liv is the over emotional one. Which you’d think would be the other way round considering Liv is the cynical sarcastic badass and Helen’s the soft trusting history nerd.

Eight/River Headcanons

-THERE IS A REASON River can’t be known by Eight. And honestly I really hope Big Finish tell us the truth soon (because if River can go around shagging Six and travelling with Five, she can show her real face to Eight ffs). But at the moment, I like to think it’s because she knows if he found out who she was, she’d have a much harder time leaving him/making him forget than she does the others. (And who could blame her, HAVE YOU SEEN EIGHT?)

-I also think Big Finish have a plan for Eight/River stuff. Because, as above, if River can shag Six and travel in the TARDIS with Five, but has to hide her face/name/voice/existence from Eight, there must be a reason (unless they just love blueballing us? Which is always a possibility).

-Parma violets somehow become Eight’s favourite flower and he really isn’t sure why.

-The TARDIS always feels different to Eight when Sister Cantica is around. And he can’t understand why. (It’s because she’s happy her time child is there.) Also watch the TARDIS try and play matchmaker, even though River is like THIS IS TOO EARLY IN HIS TIME STREAM MOTHER, DO YOU NOT THINK I’D BE TAPPING THAT ASS IF I COULD? Spoilers: she eventually taps that ass anyway because HAVE YOU SEEN EIGHT?

-If/When River gets too close to Eight, he can sense her timeline very strongly (coz Eight has the best time sense) and sees how deeply interwoven with his it is. He’s already SUPER INTRIGUED by River (Sister Cantica, whatever) but this tips him a bit over into falling in love because HOW CAN YOU NOT, SHE’S RIVER SONG!

-Also, cravat = bow tie in River’s mind. Catch her stroking it fondly. (But Katie, Doom Coalition Eight wears a tshirt and leather jacket. BITCHES, STOP, I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS FACT)

(I know I have more Eight/River headcanons, but my brain is dead. Go ask @sonickedtrowel, she’s like the HBIC when it comes to Eight/River lmao)

#liv chenka #helen sinclair #river song #eighth doctor #otp: you're so brilliant #otp: parma violets #dw #dw eu #dw thoughts #what a great ask #i have been stuck with this in my thoughts all day #also i had to hold myself back from 'Helen tops Liv and you can't prove i'm wrong'#but i just put it in the tags anyway so YEET #though who even reads my rambling tags...#Anonymous #katie answers

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