#which in a way has become rather evident with this whole course change thing

[straykats]

.

#kats personal #man like #i dont want to celebratr my birthday #esp not w family and styff #and yet he ends up planning it #and then i didnt want a cake bc at the bery least then can we just make it a normal dinner #buy he dtill did it #anf yes i told him i dont wsnt either #and its for my brother too but my brother idnt even gonna be home that night #and idk like i just #i dojt feel good again and idk if its bc of that or bc of the course change and uncertainty or bc of both #i just want to sleep #like i understood that birthdays was a good reason to gather family and see eachother after a long time #which i yeah i understabd so i said okay fine whatever just do the dinner then #but the cake too??? the whole celebration aspect??? #girl okay maybe i really dont wanna di this anymore bruh #and why is it that its always me telling jim 'i understand your pov' #i feel like he doesnt even understand or like care for what i think/want #which in a way has become rather evident with this whole course change thing #like yes he wants me to be happy but he still wants me to do what he wants ??? #god frick all this is making my head hurt even more #i feel like im being really selfish #but at the same time #i feel like im always giving in to what he/they want because i just jate the conflict so much #and this course change thing is the first thing that uve really stoof my ground about and fought for #man i just #idk i want everything to just stop right now

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the case of the very long stairway #im sorry this really IS the short version of my thoughts i swear #i didnt want to get long and rambley backing everything up and mentioning everything else this forces me to reconsider #i just feel like i've barely interacted w this fandom and still seen quite a few odd duck takes on this moment imo #i dont think he wouldntve got the nerve to say it otherwise #(he was already going to! & if anything his new experiences in hell only cement that being the right choice) #and as much as i get what fear can do to a person i still definitely dont think he was resigned to staying in hell if charles reacted badly #i truly think he just couldnt keep it to himself any longer #the show is upfront about his escaping hell being a testament to his own strength rather than a lucky break of some sort #so i think even being on the receiving end of a rescue mission getting out still must take a lot of strength in this universe #and telling charles that definitely made him stronger/in less pain #so yeah totally necessary it happened where and when it did in my book #also i hope it doesnt sound like im being dismissive of anything charles says in this scene #but the way i see it those were all things they both already knew #so reaffirming them just adds to the idea that the act of Telling Each Other Things is what's so important here #rather than counting as a truly separate thing this conversation achieves #just my two cents

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

About the whole "Fyodor-switch personality" thing: We don't have enough information to confirm whether it was real or fake right now, and besides, both possibilities are really interesting.

If the switch was real and Fyodor was lying to cover it up (...because 'you know characters can lie, right' could mean... this part of it was the lie too...), that could easily be made a reference to Dostoevsky's The Double, as I was kindly made aware of. We've also already had an image of a young woman who looks like Aya from potentially a long time ago, given the outfit and that it is Bram's memory we're presumably seeing there, which may tie in interestingly with "what year is it?" The knife he pulled out also is genuinely a unique design for the series, and looks like it might be an old make. If this original is very old, then something in the takeover of personalities may explain why he hasn't seemed to age. Fyodor being a separate personality created from his ability and kicking out the original could tie in with his ability not attacking him in Dead Apple. This also raises more questions about Fyodor's motives, and I think opens the path for some pretty fascinating theory making. It also places Fyodor as something both human and not... intriguing for the ongoing theme of humanity in the series.

If the switch was a fake and Fyodor was being a completely hilarious little shit (which, we know the Joker is part of his inspiration and he is often contrasted with Dazai, Nikolai, and Mori, for whom this kind of behaviour would be expected - it's characterization, that's not 'done for no reason'), it would quite possibly be the funniest thing he's done in the series so far. But! More importantly, it strengthens Fyodor's connection with the Book (or rather, with altering the narrative). He's told a lie that sounds completely ridiculous but makes sense given the world and situation he's in - and notably, could fool Sigma... and the readers. Fyodor also managed to change the lightness of his eyes without changing the state of his soul - something that no other character seems to be able to do. (I know Dazai can feign the shocked expression, but that's not the clear lightness we saw in Fyodor's eyes in this panel. Nikolai's eyes change lightness but that actually seems to be genuine.) While this doesn't help us discern anything more about Fyodor's motives, it does emphasize his expertise at information manipulation - we cannot trust a single thing this character says, not just in universe, but out of it too. We, the readers, cannot listen to Fyodor and take anything he says as supporting evidence for theories. If this is true - that's fascinating. The other characters will have to solve the mystery of this man completely indirectly, and so will we.

Of course, there is the secret third option: it was a lie mostly, but there is an element of truth to it somewhere, which is actually par for the course for BSD as a whole. It is very rare that a character turns out to be lying completely. The question then becomes "what part is true and how much is it true", which is also very compelling. This, personally, is what I'm ascribing to for now until new info comes up.

Anyways, the last thing I wanted to point out is that if it was genuine, then remember The Double was inspired by Hohol's works, and if it was a lie, then that is very similar to the bait-and-switch performances that Nikolai has done multiple times in the series. Either way, it implies some influence on Fyodor by Nikolai and of course vice versa, which probably means the return of the clown (finally!) and more focus on their dynamic, which is a funny thing to show Nikolai having apparently had influence on Fyodor (even if in more of a meta way) as he is actively trying to kill him right now.

Love wins/loses?

#i also kind of have my gripes about split identity storylines... but in the end i just want whatever happens to be #the most interesting story to tell with this character #we still know nothing about fyodor and certainly not enough to know how much we can take as truth or lies #bsd #bsd chapter 108 #bsd spoilers #bsd fyodor #fyolai #storyrambles

[luxaryllis]

My Friend

Note: I'm back!! I wrote this fic for @twst-charity , which is a Twisted Wonderland-themed charity drive for Palestine. Please do check it out and donate!! Their pinned post and blog in general has a lot of information, and they also have contributor sign-ups open as well! I really hope you guys can support in any way you can!

Here's the link to donate and send a request as well! The whole thing works rather similarly to giving a commission, except you simply have to provide a proof of your donation and then give your request.

Anyways, this is a fic focused on Rollo and the donor's oc, Robin! Fic is under the cut. I had so much fun writing this, especially since this was my first time writing for Rollo. Hopefully I can also get to work on other requests for the charity drive and the requests on my inbox as well! This is also full fluff so no warnings from here!

Chatter and laughter fill the cafe, filling the area with a lively and bustling atmosphere. The smell of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries waft through the air and easily excite the customers piling in. The door jingles lightly with every person walking in, and people all converse together happily. Groups of friends, couples, families, and even those alone are enveloped by the welcoming ambience of the cafe.

The bells jingle again, prompting the servers to enthusiastically thank the two people who were leaving. Rollo and Robin step out of the warm cafe, a cold breeze greeting them as soon as they step outside. Robin takes a small sip of his hot chocolate, smiling happily at the toasty feeling it brings to him. The shorter boy lets out a small hum of contentment as the hot beverage smoothly goes down his throat.

“Mmmh! Thanks for treating me, Rollo. This cafe really is good!” Robin grins up at Rollo in happiness and gratitude. Rollo only nods, using his handkerchief to cover his mouth a bit. Rollo’s voice is slightly muffled as he speaks from behind the cloth, “Of course. It’s my pleasure. This cafe is known for its authentic traditional food from Fleur City, so I thought it best to show you the richness of Fleur City’s culture.”

The two start to stroll together by the sidewalk, a peaceful silence between the two friends. A few butterflies flutter over, making Robin giggle slightly as he watches them fly about without a care. The butterflies then proceeded to fly away, the whimsical wings fluttering off. Just as the winged insects flew out of view, a small drop of water fell on Rollo’s shoulder, making him pause and look around to see whoever or whatever made the water fall on him.

With that one droplet of water, came another. And another. Until drops of rain were falling from the sky. Robin lets out an exclamation of surprise, not having anticipated it to start raining. It’s somewhat evident that Rollo didn’t expect it either, if his annoyed mutters into the handkerchief fully covering his mouth mean anything. The two quickly run back to the cafe, stopping just outside and taking shelter under the extended roof. Rollo heaves a sigh of relief and pockets his handkerchief, looking at Robin who was trying to dry his slightly damp hair.

Robin lets out a small chuckle and quickly downs the rest of his hot chocolate, setting it by the table nearby. The two take a seat and watch as Fleur City becomes a rainy wonderland. While it was a mundane and normal sight to Rollo, who has lived in Fleur City his whole life, it seemed almost like a life-changing experience to Robin. There was just something so beautiful about how the raindrops fell and made puddles in the ground, rippling with every drop that fell. How the petals of the flowers outside would bend a bit when a drop would fall on them, and how the bright sun still shines despite the rain and darkening clouds, making a wonderful scene.

Such a stunning sight should definitely be captured on camera.

The younger boy takes out his camera and turns it on, looking through the viewfinder of the camera. Robin squints in concentration as he fiddles with the focus and zoom rings on his camera, trying to find the best way to capture the wondrous moment. Rollo watches on in slight confusion, but doesn’t say anything just yet. He knows when someone needs to focus, and photography is a delicate art that requires all concentration. A shutter and click sound is heard, and Robin looks at the photo he took. A bright grin grows on his face as he sees the picture.

“Rollo, Rollo! You should take a look at this!” Rollo blinks a bit and leans over curiously, looking from above Robin’s shoulder to see the picture. It was just a standard picture of Fleur City raining; it wasn’t anything extraordinary. While Fleur City was a beautiful sight, was it really worth taking a photo of it while it was raining? It’s still the same city, after all; it’s not like there’s any change to Fleur City as it rains. The same buildings, the same flowers, the same people.

And yet... when looking at it through Robin’s camera, everything seems brighter, almost mesmerising. Rollo was used to the sight of Fleur City, though he loved his homeplace very dearly, but even he didn’t expect to see this beautiful sight. The camera caught even the smallest of details, and it was so wonderful to see that such a moment was perfectly captured and preserved. Rollo forces himself to hide the small smile growing on his face, but lets himself release a sound of affirmation and pride. “Hm, you did well. A beautifully taken picture. The beauty of Fleur City truly shines with this...”

It was rare for Rollo to give praise to anything or anyone, and is more seen showing his disdain for things more than anything else. Robin blushes a bit and sheepishly grins, puffing out his chest a bit in confidence, “Hehe I’m glad you like it! Oh! How about I print it out for you? You really like Fleur City, don’t you? I can print it out as a keepsake for you or something.”

Rollo blinks a bit in surprise, “Really? You would?” He pauses and hesitates a bit. His pride and ego is telling him not to accept it; after all, he shouldn’t seem so vulnerable in front of others. Especially not after what happened last time. He swore to himself never to let his emotions truly get the better of him. He’s been forgiven by the NRC students, but he’ll never forget their faces and the faces of the people who got hurt because of him. But then... it’s Robin.

It surprises him how kind Robin is, and he feels almost taken aback when Robin nods happily, his big grin brighter than even the sun. Rollo sighs in defeat, “I would like that. Thank you…”

Robin lets out a celebratory noise and keeps his camera. “I’ll print it out when I get back and give it to you, then!”

It was so surprising sometimes, how Robin can be so sweet to someone like Rollo. Rollo knows he can be too much. He knows he’s done so many things that are wrong. No matter how much he works, he knows he might never truly make up for it. He doesn’t understand how Robin, who has been so exposed to magic despite having none himself, can be so caring and understanding. How can Robin be so kind to him? Rollo is rather sure that, after what he’s done to Robin’s friends, he wouldn’t even want to be associated with him.

Rollo breaks the peaceful silence between them as he softly speaks, “Why? Why are you so kind to me?” Robin blinks and tilts his head to the side with a confused expression. “Hm? What do you mean by that?”

The older boy sighs and tries to explain, “I mean... certainly you should feel some sort of disdain towards me, shouldn’t you? It’s a wonder that you’re so kind to me. So why? Why are you…?"

“Huh?! Hey, don’t say that, Rollo! Why am I so kind to you...? Well, I guess it’s because it looks like you need a friend!” Robin musters up a kind smile to his companion. “I don’t see how it’s so special, though, but I’d be very glad to be the friend that you need!”

A friend… Rollo’s had close acquaintances before, maybe some people he’ll confide in sometimes, but he’s never really thought of anyone as a friend. After the incident with his younger brother, after he swore to himself to eradicate all magic in this world, he’s never had someone he can truly call a friend. He tries to keep his blush and smile hidden behind his handkerchief, muttering to himself as he averts his gaze.

Yet Robin thinks of him as a friend. Are there people out there who think of him as a friend too? Perhaps not, not with his terrible temperament. But Robin seeing him as a friend is a big surprise. Or, knowing the first year’s friendliness and kindness, maybe it isn’t so shocking.

“I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you…” Rollo mumbles out softly, his voice muffled by the handkerchief over his mouth. As Rollo watches Robin hum in confusion, asking what he just said, he swears to himself to not make the same mistake he made last time.

Robin makes him feel like a normal person again. Like he isn’t just Noble Bell College’s Student Council President. Like he’s just another person. Like he didn’t actually do so many terrible things in a fit of rage and revenge. Like he’s just a friend to someone. It’s hard to muster up the words to describe the warmth he feels, and Rollo’s pride and ego just can’t let him express his true feelings. Not now. Not yet. For now, he can only manage to say what he’s always wanted to say in his head.

“Thank you, Robin. You’ve saved me, my friend.”

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst fluff #twst x oc #twst charity #rollo flamme #twst rollo #twst platonic #twst x reader

[vickyvicarious]

There lay the Count, but looking as if his youth had been half renewed, for the white hair and moustache were changed to dark iron-grey; the cheeks were fuller, and the white skin seemed ruby-red underneath; the mouth was redder than ever, for on the lips were gouts of fresh blood, which trickled from the corners of the mouth and ran over the chin and neck. Even the deep, burning eyes seemed set amongst swollen flesh, for the lids and pouches underneath were bloated. It seemed as if the whole awful creature were simply gorged with blood. He lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion.

June 30

He disgusted me much while with him, for when a horrid blow-fly, bloated with some carrion food, buzzed into the room, he caught it, held it exultantly for a few moments between his finger and thumb, and, before I knew what he was going to do, put it in his mouth and ate it. I scolded him for it, but he argued quietly that it was very good and very wholesome; that it was life, strong life, and gave life to him.

July 1

The echo here is so, so interesting. Because of course...

Dracula is Renfield. There's no Seward scolding him, but he too was operating on a time crunch to dispose of his 'pet', and so he 'caught' Jonathan (when he used wolves to force him to stay inside), held him exultantly for a few hours (the 'tonight is mine' anticipation), and then ate him (drank his blood). And just as Renfield tells Seward that his fly contains strong life and gave it to him, so too Dracula is renewed to youth with the life he's stolen from Jonathan.

But Dracula is also the fly. Bloated, compared to a leech, linked with carrion and death. The vivid description of his filthy and horrifying state stands in contrast to the way Renfield is calm and methodical.

Seward is Jonathan, staring in horror at the one consuming life.

But Seward is also Dracula, the one imprisoning another and studying them, taking away their belongings when he pleases. ("His spiders are now becoming as great a nuisance as his flies, and to-day I told him that he must get rid of them.")

And Renfield, well, we've already said how he's Dracula here. But he's also Jonathan. He too is held captive, he too is subject to the whims of his captor, he too "has evidently some deep problem in his mind, for he keeps a little note-book in which he is always jotting down something." Of course, the mystery Jonathan was trying to figure out revolves around what Dracula is and how to counter that... but Renfield too is intent upon the idea of life being taken from others, just coming at it from a different angle (an "I want to do that" angle). Seward compares his notebook to an auditor's, but his approach sounds rather scientific to me. At least, he's got a theory and he's trying to prove it by amassing information and keeping a reliable record. These are things Jonathan has done too.

#dracula daily #jack seward #renfield #count dracula #jonathan harker #sooo interesting how they all reflect one another every time #also. sidenote but the casual way renfield just. pops the fly in his mouth. it feels so BRUTAL when you're bearing this comparison in mind

[konmaao3]

What’s Viren’s deal?

All throughout Season 5 he emphasizes that he always did what was necessary to protect his family. And he doesn’t just lie to fool someone here because a lot of the related dialogue takes place in his fever dream (although humans are also perfectly capable of lying to themselves, so that’s no ultimate evidence).

But obviously all of that contradicts his behaviour in the first arc where he repeatedly stated that even family members might have to be sacrificed for the greater good (e.g. when telling Claudia to prioritize the egg over Soren). Where does this change of heart come from?

[pessimistic solution: the writers simply retconned Viren’s motivation so that it aligns with Claudia’s, which makes for interesting parallels]

It has been suggested that dark magic may be morally corrupting in some way, and dying might have cleansed Viren of that corruption.

Of course focusing on the wellbeing of humanity is not necessarily more evil than focusing on the wellbeing of your family, but the first approach is a more utilitarian one that requires a very rational worldview that is to some extent detached from your personal emotions. So perhaps that’s what happened.

However, there are also two other lines I found interesting. When Viren climbs the Storm Spire in S4, he says:

My whole life, I’ve been chasing after things I didn’t have. Influence. Status. Power.

That stood out to me because I hadn’t actually perceived him that way. Power seemed to be just a means to an end, this end being protecting his family humanity. But there is another similar line, this time from Kpp’Ar in Viren’s dream:

You made the choice you’ve always made. The one that gives you power.

And chasing power is very much a thing we tend to associate with moral corruption. Although, as pointed out above, power could simply be a tool. So far that leaves us with three different goals for Viren:

protecting his family

protecting humanity

power [in order to do 1./2.?]

Which brings me to something Viren says towards dream-Harrow:

It is everything to me, to know that I mean something to you, to know that I matter. It's all I ever wanted.

And then this from dream-Kpp’Ar:

It seems you’ve overcome the disadvantages of your upbringing.

That suggests that Viren is from a humble background, but managed to rise in society, befriend a prince, become High Mage ... But you don’t always leave your upbringing behind that easily (as people who escaped poverty but still rather eat moldy bread than throw it away can tell you).

So now my hot take: Perhaps the root for Viren’s motivations is always his deep-rooted insecurity that was caused by a childhood spent in poverty and now also causes him to dress nicely (which both Amaya and dream-Kpp’Arr comment on). He seeks validation, and all of his stated goals are just what he perceives as something that other people would approve of at the time:

While in Katolis he had a good life as High Mage. But things were rather quiet – too quiet –, and the hamster wheel of external validation kept spinning. So he sought power to stand out and get noticed, learning of powerful spells, looking for a way to end a famine ... or, later, for a way to slay the Dragon King.

This eventually led to war with Xadia, so then he stepped up to fight this battle. With the eyes of the whole Pentarchy on him, he took on the role of the altruistic leader who would sacrifice even himself or his family for the greater good.

That didn’t quite work out and in S4 he suddenly found himself all alone with his daughter (and her annoying boyfriend, but he doesn’t count). Claudia, for whom family is everything, became Viren’s only source of validation, and so he donned the cloak of the family man who never actually cared about power and politics and all that nonsense.

And here we are now, Viren lived several different lives, but – oversimplification incoming – in the end he just wanted to be loved because his childhood sucked. He doesn’t have a "true" motivation that is his own, but he just takes on the roles that he thinks the people around him will like.

(note that none of that was necessarily a conscious choice, and Viren might not even be aware of the contradictions. As said above, humans can also lie to themselves)

#the dragon prince #tdp viren

[zombiee-reviews]

Rogio X Ranach Discussion.

Welcome to the clown show ladies and gents! I wanted to begin my thread on my opinion(s) of Rogio and Ranach, tapping into why Rogio playing victim makes no sense in the story.

Side note: I’m currently on Tumblr Mobile and it limits my picture usage on threads, so I will only be posting pictures I feel are relevant and link page numbers to other ones.

To start, here we have Rogio and Kargo in a huge disagreement. Rogio claims that the relationship between him and Ranach was pure abuse and that he was under Ranach’s control. Let me show you why I feel this is false.

Here, Ranach asks Rogio something, which ends up being Rogio poisoning the Jarls meal. ( Can be seen on page 101 ) Thing that bothers me most here is how hugged up Rogio is on Ranach. You would think that if Ranach is giving Rogio an order, ( on the subject of Rogio claiming he was under Ranach’s control ) why is Rogio willingly saying “Anything” in response and not showing any fear? If Ranach is the big, bad abuser that Rogio claims late comic, I would think that Rogio here, in this page, would show lots and lots of fear.

Later in the comic, after Ranach leaves Rogio for dead, was the turning point for Rogio to become a “victim”. The hilarious thing here is, Rogio has overpowered Ranach numerous times. Evidence of this can be found on pages 100, 101, 135. So why on page 416 is Rogio acting like seeing Ranach is going to be the end of his world? And to top this off, there is literal zero evidence of Ranach ever “abusing” Rogio. That’s right, zero.

Another interesting thing that caught my attention, was Kargo’s interactions with Rogio in the beginning.

This got me thinking, who knows Rogio best out of all the current characters? Kargo. Kargo grew up in MT, same time Rogio was rescued and stayed willingly in MT. If Rogio claims that Ranach was so abusive and not a good fit, why would Kargo say these things about Rogio and Ranach? Especially on the topic of Rogio becoming Ranach’s Baron, it’s obvious Rogio has talked highly about becoming Ranach’s Baron, otherwise why would Kargo say “Seems you always got what you yearned for.” Anyone who is in an abusive relationship, especially when they can very easily leave, would not want to become their “abusers” second hand in a Tribe.

Then, on page 370 ( this whole page itself is a meme ) Kargo admits to Roamer that Rogio only returned to MT to be with Ranach once more. Further showing that Rogio and Ranach have shown Kargo their love for each other, otherwise why would he say things like this?

Then of course came the time when Ronja came in.

Is that jealousy I see from Rogio? Hmmmm.

Even right after Ranach announces Rogio becoming the Baron, look at that shit eating grin he has! And then when he slaps him with Ronja becoming a Viscountess, look at the instant mood change. Here, he shows more jealously.

Here on this page, we have quite the interesting interaction between Rogio and Ranach. To start, the first thing Rogio is upset about is the fact he’s serving underneath Ronja. He’s not upset about nothing else except that, which gives me more evidence towards the jealousy he has towards Ronja. Then he states that “You made me believe it was gonna be you and me.” Again, this statement leads me to believe that they have talked about a potential future together. They obviously planned on running the tribe together and this could have been Rogio’s driving point to kill Ranach’s father, under Ranach’s command. Anyway, while this might be little evidence of Ranach being a terrible partner with lying, it in no way should affect Rogio in making him sit out while the whole Avanti and Ranach situation was going on. Plus, Rogio was a Baron once more, but a rather useless one.

Then the conversation carries out to Rogio explaining in a rather intimate manner of Ranach and how Rogio views him. We also have another page of Rogio giving the same speech here.

When reading this the first time, you could really feel the passion and love that Rogio has for Ranach, he doesn’t want things to end. It could also be argued that he was trying to save his own tail in this situation, spoon feeding Ranach a bunch of bull so he can live. Wouldn’t that be a little manipulative of him?? Hm.

Again though, this isn’t the first time Rogio has explained how he views Ranach in intimate depth, I mean it really tells me that Rogio loves Ranach deeply and would love for the relationship to continue. But, when Ranach sacrifices him to Vjall(?) it’s almost like Kique uses this as a driving point for Rogio to cry abuser at Ranach. And yet, their whole relationship seems rather willing and consensual, I damn well might say even loving?

So why is Rogio acting like his relationship with Ranach was the worse thing ever? If anything, Rogio had the red carpet pushed out for him by Ranach. Kique just needed something to give Rogio a reason to not see Ranach and further drag out the comic so he could steal more of his patrons money.

Rogio was never seen to be abused or controlled in his relationship with Ranach. If anything, Rogio is a giant pile of you know what for betraying Kargo in the first rebellion and not assisting with slaves getting away. Rogio was perfectly content being at Ranach’s side, if he was so abused like he claims then why didn’t he run off during this first rebellion? Anyone who undergoes true relationship abuse would jump on the first train out of there. And yet, Rogio didn’t do squat.

In conclusion, don’t buy anything Rogio says, he willingly stayed with Ranach and showed no intention/ interest in leaving him in the beginning. He wanted to serve the Tribe beside Ranach for christs sake. Anything said about Rogio and Ranach from now on is just fuel for Kique to give reasons for everyone to feel bad for Rogio, but truly none of feel bad at all. He didn’t do anything to save the females in MT, he just wanted Ranach’s dong.

#kique7 #kique nordin #homeasmundr #homecomic #asmundrhome #asmundrcomic #bad dog comics #bad comic art #comic review #kique

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

ND for NT? Neurodivergence in National Treasure

(Abigail Chase Edition)

Last time, we took a look at whether Ben fits the DMS criteria for autism. Now it’s Abigail’s turn on my proverbial couch, but I thought we’d do it a little differently this time.

To change it up a bit, instead of the DSM, I have Rudy Simone’s List of Female Aspergers Syndrome Traits. The title might be outdated, but it’s a list of questions pertaining to masked autism. I thought it might be fun to go through these questions and see whether Abigail fits the bill.

By the way, there's no set number of answers that "pass" this questionnaire, and no one person is expected to have all of them. It's more about identifying trends of behavior.

Special thanks to @emmi-kat for providing some of the evidence

The questions come in four sections: Appearance/personal habits, Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation, Emotions/Physical, and Social Relationships

This article will cover the first two, with a follow up next week.

→ The questions are like this

My responses are like this

Let’s dig in.

Part 1: “Appearance/Personal Habits”

→ Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality

Abigail dresses professionally in a style I’d call ‘tasteful and subdued.’ Based on that article about her wardrobe, the clothes we see her in are all high quality and rather expensive for what she probably makes as a government employee. You could read this as 1. The Friends Apartment Phenomenon (implausibly expensive bc its gotta look good on film) 2. She’s supposed to look stodgy and uptight when she’s positioned as an opponent to Ben’s mission. Once she joins him, she gets to dress like the rest of Team Treasure

3. Abigail invests in high quality materials due to sensory issues. For our purpose, let’s go with #3.

→ Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be ‘wash and wear’. Can be quite happy not grooming at all times. 

Unlike a lot of leading ladies, Abigail’s hairstyles are very plain—outside of the gala of course. At work she wears a simple ponytail or half-ponytail, and on the treasure hunt she doesn’t even have an elastic. If I were her I’d be ripping up my expensive new Urban Outfitters getup looking for something to tie my hair up with, but she doesn’t seem bothered.

→ Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance

I don’t know that I’d call her ‘eccentric.’ Although, in the 2003 script, she’s a lot more openly dorky. For instance, she says: Looking stunning in her sparkly formal gown, Abigail stands with Dr. Herbert. ABIGAIL What do you think Thomas Jefferson would say if he were here?

→ Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes

For me, she’s the opposite. This is purely conjecture, but I’ve always assumed that Abigail has dressed, acted, and talked like a tenured professor since she was a kid.

→ Usually a little more expressive in face and gesture than male counterparts

I want to say a thing about masking in Book of Secrets but I do not have time right now. TBD

→ May not have a strong sense of identity, and can be very chameleon-like, especially before diagnosis

Someday I’m gonna write a whole article about Abigail’s arc of becoming a treasure hunter, but I choose to read her journey as one of unlocking an existing interest, not of taking on Ben’s identity because she’s hanging around him.

→ Enjoys reading and films as a retreat, often scifi, fantasy, children’s, can have favorites which are a refuge

No canon evidence, but send your headcanons my way.

→ Uses control as a stress management technique: rules, discipline, rigid in certain habits, which will contradict her seeming unconventionality

Yes yes yes. RILEY Ben, the… the mean Declaration lady's behind you.

→ Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment

Her seemingly newfound interest in treasure hunting contradicts this, but outside of those very specific circumstances I get the impression that yes, she prefers controlled environments. For example, before Ben shows up at the gala she’s wandering around alone, looking like she’s uncomfortable and possibly plotting when she can leave.

Part 2: “Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation”

→ May have been diagnosed as autistic or Asperger’s when young, or may have been thought of as gifted, shy, sensitive, etc. May also have had obvious or severe learning deficits

Gonna give a solid check mark to “gifted and fshy.” This is headcanon, but I don’t see young Abigail being any other way.

→ Often musical, artistic

In a deleted scene from Book of Secrets we learn that Abigail restores old furniture, or at least that she “painstakingly restored” an antique chair that Ben found.

→ May have a savant skill or strong talent(s)

Well she’s the Charters of Freedom Custodian at like 35 so…

→ May have a strong interest in computers, games, science, graphic design, inventing, things of a technological and visual nature. More visual thinkers may gravitate to writing, languages, cultural studies, psychology

Not exactly what’s listed here, but I headcanon Abigail to have more of an interest in cultural history than Ben does. If Ben’s specialty is the “big names and big idea” type of history, I imagine Abigail is more interested in how ordinary people experienced the periods she studies. I have no evidence for this other than I really like cultural history and would like to project.

→ May be a self-taught reader, been hyperlexic as a child, and will possess a wide variety of other self-taught skills as well

Also purely headcanon, my personal take on Abigail’s childhood is that her family moved to the US when she was in third or fourth grade—whenever the big American Revolution unit is in her state. On one of her first days she was humiliated in front of the class by not knowing a really easy American History answer. (Like, Who was George Washington? etc). So she went to the school library and took out every history book they had. Pretty soon she’d exhaused the supply and moved onto the middle grade and then adult history books at her local library. Again, I have no evidence for this, but the pre-established ideas I had about the character seem to be fitting pretty well within this list.

→ May be highly educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college.

If her behavior at the gala (wandering alone, wanting to leave, dealing with reluctant advances) is any indication, she may have struggled with social gatherings in college in a similar way.

→ May have one or many partial degrees

Dr. Abigail Chase has at least one completed Ph.d. Uncompleted degrees are unknown.

→ Can be very passionate about a course of study or job, and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly

Not enough evidence either way. The only thing we see her go hot or cold on is Ben lmao.

→ Will often have trouble holding onto a job and may find employment daunting. Highly intelligent, yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues

Does not appear to be the case.

→ Will not do well with verbal instruction - needs to write down or draw diagram

Does not appear to be the case. She seems to do fine working with Ben to decode the Ottendorf cypher and cooking up plans with Ian without notes or diagrams, at least that we see.

→ Will have obsessions but they are not as unusual as her male counterpart’s (less likely to be a ‘train-spotter’)

Gonna go back to: ABIGAIL What do you think Thomas Jefferson would say if he were here?

Conclusion

We still have two sections to go, but so far Abigail is lining up with the type of person described by these questions.

Actually, what I'm most interested in at the moment is how well the headcanons I already had formed about her fit this profile.

Onward!

#the national treasure gazette #abigail chase #national treasure

[cloudbattrolls]

The Art of Knowing

This drabble is preceded by Apprehended and followed by Last Call.

Here is when I become more than an observer. 

I, too, am part of my own story.

Within a few nights Hovend asks Ullane to come to the station.

Well, it took a lot, he says with a grimace, but they did get something. Yuruli does have ties to a counterfeiting ring involving jeans, and they admitted to being aware of Calcit. Which would be hard to deny, given the evidence they were in his hive. 

But they refuse to divulge what exactly was in the notes they purloined, other than it being 'personal business'.

Ullane puts a hand over her face. She expected something like this, but it’s still frustrating.

What’s the problem with getting them to divulge it? Do they say they’ll be killed if they do? It seems paltry compared to the other things they confessed, odd that this in particular would be an issue.

A bit of being killed, a lot of being tortured for nights on end, then killed.

She sighs. Of course. Probably no way to get it out of them, then. No even slightly decent way, anyway. 

She grimaces, not wanting to do what she did again.

Unfortunately not, confirms the tealblood, but that won't stop the resident interrogator from trying anyway, he says with another wince. But since they broke into and stole things from Calcit's hive, it makes them relevant to his death. If tangentially. So it's at least something to bring up in court, maybe even try to cross-examine them.

Ullane sighs. How long will the interrogator keep trying?

As long as it takes, Hovend sighs, he really likes his job.

She grimaces. She can probably imagine, but what are his methods?

Boring people to death at first, then he tries using emotional manipulation. Also lying, trying to befriend the person. You'd really expect him to be a fingernail puller, but no, says the tealblood, shaking his head.

She blinks, then sigh-laughs. No, it makes sense. Pain will just make people say whatever will make the pain stop.

Hopefully it works to get something out of them. If they had a mind reader it'd be a lot easier, but good luck finding any of those who haven't flipped their lid.

She pauses. Hm. There’s no way they’d do a deal with them, would they?

What, with the grey mob? Eh... Depends on how much information they flip. If they have to drag it out with telepathy and a whole verification process, then probably not.

She thinks. If only she knew what they wanted; her dead or simply her losing the clinic and her medical license. She would surrender it if they left the clinic alone and she didn’t have to die.

She sounds, as usual, calculating and thoughtful rather than personally invested in her own life.

Hovend thinks all of those are pretty bad choices.

Ullane snorts. She’s a realist, and it’s not like she doesn’t deserve it. It’s a miracle the Grey Mob did this little; they could have tried to kill or torture her instead of merely disgrace her and make it possible she’d get executed.

The worst of it is that Calcit died because of it, she says sadly. 

They could still very much do that, if they ever figure out she was behind the capture of one of their lieutenants. So don't push her luck!

She smiles grimly. Oh, she knows. If she lives, she knows she needs to leave, or they’ll probably be after her.

Leave? Leave where, the planet? He asks, baffled. Okay, actually, they don't have reach that far yet. But definitely out of the city.

Yes, exactly. She should go anonymous herself, change up her symbol and stop dying her hair.

He shrugs, he's never been one for undercover work. He's just sorry she's forbidden to leave the city until after the trial and sentencing.

She shrugs. She knows that and wouldn’t expect different.

Anyway, she asks, what would it take for the Grey Mob to do a deal and not just try to kill them all.

He has no idea, they all work in little enclaves. What might be good enough for one cell leader might be a spit in the eye for another. She'd have to figure out where that leader even is and how to talk to them without getting a bullet through the eye.

She snorts. Never mind that, then. She just…she doesn’t want to do anything like what she did again. But the interrogator seems unlikely to get anything else out of Yuruli.

Sadly they've yet to invent a proper truth serum, all they have is this stuff that make you delirious. So half of what you say ends up being nonsense, he adds. 

But she works at a clinic for lowbloods, right? if any of them can pull out memories, maybe he can get them in to work on Yuruli, he notes. Because, not for lack of trying, the legislacerator's office does not get a whole lot of takers in the 'voluntary narcing' program.

She goes still. Wait. She knows someone whose powers might work for this.

She can’t do memories, she just…knows things sometimes.

Sure, that makes sense, he says while shaking his head.

She laughs a little and waves a hand. Sorry, she’s not trying to be cryptic on purpose; the woman in question refuses to explain almost anything about her powers. But if Priori agrees and can be taken to see Yuruli, she might be able to learn something.

Plus, she’s olive, not lowblooded. That might help a little. And she has a perfectly clean record.

Okay...? It's not like they have anything to lose here, he can try to get some paperwork started about bringing in a civilian contractor. Anything to put actual criminals behind bars.

Oh. Yes, that too, thank you. But whatever happens, she wants the clinic’s reputation in the clear.

She's welcome, he just hopes it actually helps her.

She forgot an origami animal this time, she’ll have to bring one next time.

Back at the clinic, Ullane opens her mouth and I look at her, smiling. 

Of course, I’ll help. I already know what she wants. She looks at me, wary and discomfited, but thanks me. 

I know so much already, yet going forward, I will act as if I am but another player in this game. 

Hovend gets Priori approved to come in. 

Priori’s power depends on perceiving what she wants to know about, not that she tells anyone else. All she’d have to do was look at Yuruli and she’d start picking up information.

The more she knows about something the more there is possible for her to know, though sometimes she has to wait to receive the information she wants; her power is potential omniscience.

Anything she is aware of, she can learn about, even something she doesn’t realize she’s consciously aware of.

She’d have even more of an advantage after reading their files. Armed with both this and seeing Yuruli in person, Priori waits some fifteen minutes, information flowing into her mind, before she has what she came for.

She knows now that they were indeed onto Calcit, who was drawing closer to uncovering the whole ring. A plan was drafted to deal with him permanently. Yuruli knew it had to do with some clinic, but beyond that it was a subordinate's idea. 

They cleaned up the mess afterwards and handed payment to the patsy they used on the night of the murder. The notes are a series of seemingly paranoid connections that link multiple mob members to an extensive ring of counterfeiting. 

One note mentions one of the people seems to have dropped off the face of the planet, theorizing they went undercover somewhere.

Priori writes this down as it comes to her, and gives it to Hovend. Unlike most psiionics, there is no glow or crackle when she uses her power.

Hovend internally wonders if they allow dreams as evidence.

Priori says out loud that his lusus is a woodpecker and he loves anime.

She smiles at the legislacerator as he looks distinctly uncomfortable.

Well, he can at least... somewhat look into the ring of mob members, he mentions. This wouldn't clear Ullane's name given the obvious conflict of interest and lack of substantial proof, but at least she has somewhat partial proof it wasn't her fault.

The olive will then take her leave, unless he wants to question her further or wants her to find out more.

Unless she can definitely say how Calcit died, he's got nothing, Hovend says with a shake of his head.

Priori casually mentions that he died of hacked nanotech. Ask miss Wistim for the evidence.

She is very paranoid and fears it will be used against her somehow, but she has it. Though it isn’t very incriminating. 

Even I don’t know exactly how it was done, she remarks. Only that it was.

Oh, that's bad. He looks up at the devices recording everything. Very bad.

Priori, unconcerned, merely says she thought he should know.

Hovend, very concerned, says uncertainly that he appreciates the help…?

Priori remarks that he’s very worried. He probably should be. But he seems nice, and he doesn’t hurt people very much.

Later, the legislacerator informs Ullane that the prosecutor will have a field day with it, clearly she's negligent.

Ullane puts hand to her face after she’s turned it over, because it’s a cell phone she’d never seen before that night. She explains what Xrumon discovered about how it was used to hack the nanotech.

The phone is tagged and bagged, swept for finger prints, and sent to forensics for analysis.

Priori hovers nearby and confirms that this is everything, smiling all the while.

Ullane is not smiling. Priori has a hand over her mouth to cover her soft laughter.

The medic reflects that perhaps she should have expected this from the woman who emotionally blackmailed her into paying for Xrumon’s wheelchair improvements.

It certainly is suspicious, Hovend agrees. Too bad the prints on it are wiped clean, and the chain of custody is tampered with since it passed through untold hands before it got to him.

Ullane sighs. Only hers and Xrumon’s.

He might believe her, but the law says that since it wasn't in his sight from the moment it was left in the trash and on camera, it's suspect, he explains.

Ullane understands if dislikes this fact. She could get him the footage of her investigating it if he’d like.

Sure, but she does know that the prosecution is going to crucify her for this, right? Unless she has solid, damning proof someone used it near the victim, he supposes.

Ullane looks at him. Of course she knew. That’s why she was trying to figure it out herself so she had better evidence and not just this, but someone felt differently.

Priori chides her to not be so glum. Is she forgetting they could investigate Halvir?

Ullane mutters that who’s ‘they’. Louder and more grudgingly, she supposes they could. But if he’s grey mob too they won’t get far.

Halvir? Who the heck is that? Asks the tealblood.

Ullane looks weary as she explains that he is her employee whom she suspects is grey mob but has no proof. He likely used this phone to kill Calcit by hacking Friday’s nanotech.

Oh. Okay, Hovend says. Good luck with that? It's a real pain to prove anyone's involved with them. 

Wait, couldn't she - he points at Priori - just look at him and know for sure?

Priori, amused, remarks that she could, but she might not be able to learn more than that, and may have to wait to confirm it.

Ullane, hand over her face. She is not fond of dealing with the oliveblood, most times. It is why she hasn’t asked her for help until now.

Priori mentions that right now she only knows his favorite candy and that he likes golf.

Ullane, deadpan, says that they’re saved.

Priori replies they’re more saved than they were before because Ullane is paranoid and self-destructive.

The medic looks extremely done.

Regardless, they agree Priori should quietly pass by him a few times to see what she can learn.

Hovend cautions them to not tip Halvir off, because if she does and he is grey mob…he makes a pained face.

Priori, peaceable, mentions that the grey mob can’t touch her, but she agrees.

Ullane deadpans that she has such overconfidence.

A bold statement that he thinks shouldn't be ever said aloud again, agrees the legislacerator.

She has seen far worse than these little gangs, she comments. But thanks for the concern. 

Then she leaves.

Ullane looks at the ceiling.

Hovend looks at Ullane. What did she mean by this

Ullane looks at him dead-eyed, and confesses she doesn’t know. All she knows is that her boss, who’s over four hundred, mentioned knowing Priori for sweeps. She’s definitely not what she seems.

On paper she’s a regular olive with psiionics. The medic has never found anything out of order with her past. She does good mechanical work.

But something isn’t right. Everyone can tell. She’s always got her own agenda.

Hovend wishes he hadn't asked.

Ullane snorts. And he thought she was disturbing, she says with a rare wry smile.

He's finding new things to fear every night...

Ullane chuckles. Priori isn’t violent, at least. In fact, she’s not sure she’s ever heard her so much as raise her voice.

That is almost scarier than yelling, the teal says.

Ullane sigh-laughs. Well. She tried.

Why am I telling you all this, you might ask. What is my motive?

You could say I have several.

Most importantly: I want you to see what happens.

#cloud writes #more to lose #ullane wistim #hovend jegder #priori poster

[stargazeraldroth]

Balanceswap seems very interesting!!! Do you have the personalities of the primary four? I know you’ve given the basics, but how do they act and think and stuff? What kind of people are they, deep down?

Yes and no. I don't have EVERY detail of their personalities down, but I do have a general idea of how they act. I'm sorry if this is all long and hard to read, but I hope this helps! Also, Nightmare and Dream's parts are longer because they're actually the ones that initially prompted this AU, rather than it being Ink and Error.

Error is still hotheaded and easy to irritate, but he's also more mature and has more self-control than his canon self. He's more considerate of others and shows more compassion and concern, as evident in his dynamic with Ink. He takes his job seriously, if with a grain of salt, but he's not entirely subservient to the Creators' wishes. Unlike how I usually make Ink act, Error has no qualms about talking back to the Creators and even getting snappy with or disregarding them. He knows how fleeting life can be, so he's typically much more reclusive and introverted, only really establishing bonds with Outcodes like him or fellow immortals. He's observant and relatively quiet, but sometimes he speaks without thinking. He can be blunt and brutally honest, as even though he's more compassionate, he's not the greatest at understanding other people and how they feel. He's also a bit of a tsundere and gets flustered very easily. He's not the best at expressing himself with words, so he hopes to convey most of his feelings through actions instead. Error doesn't really hang out around the Omega Timeline despite being welcomed there, but I do like to think he occasionally makes scarves and things to donate to the people there. Speaking of the Omega Timeline, he doesn't really consider himself a good figure in the Multiverse either, he considers himself a neutral entity. He doesn't have a group of his own like how normal Ink's in the Star Sanses. He doesn't regularly visit the Omega Timeline and he doesn't exactly have the friendliest reputation, but he's respected. Honestly, the only one he probably likes is CORE. As for Nightmare, he mostly just tolerates him. They work with each other when it's convenient, but Error doesn't consider him an ally

Ink used to be very similar to his usual self, very curious and cheerful. Of course, everything changed once he found about his origins. Ink's initial rage over the reveal and his fallout with Error was impulsive and triggered by his emotions, and he felt so bad about it once he calmed down. He believed he ruined the one good thing in his life and, in a way, the one good thing to come from his existence as a whole. He... had to be an abandoned project for a reason, right? He has a lot of self-esteem/self-image issues following all of this. For a while, Ink just... wandered around aimlessly until he came across an AU filled with suffering. He interpreted this as another cruelty of the Creators rather than a necessity to counter positive AUs such as Haventale, which is what motivated him to become the self-proclaimed Destroyer. Ink has very mixed feelings towards the AUs in general; he's happy that they're so loved by the Creators and treated so preciously, but at the same time, but he's also jealous because he still believes he's worth less than them. He believes that the AUs were intentional, cherished projects and he was a broken toy the Creators bought at a yard sale. Literally- literally everything would've been fine if the Creators just... didn't say anything. Literally everything would've been okay. I don't remember why Ink was interested in finding Dream, but he basically treats him like his own child. He tries to help Dream learn how use his powers, but it's difficult when you're constantly hopping from one place to the next. In some ways, Ink also thinks he's... beyond redemption, in a way. He feels like it's impossible for him to come back from this, that as soon as he tries to change, people are gonna take advantage of it to jump him

Nightmare is, to put it simply, an egotistical yandere made of molten gold. He was more level-headed as a child, but also even more mature and emotionally drained than his canon self. He was protective of Dream, but wasn't controlling or crazy possessive; he was happy that Dream had friends, no matter how weird they might've been, and that he had other people to talk to in a more positive way. He was clever, but also deceptive- he wanted Dream and the Villagers to think he was oblivious to their mistreatment of him. The Villagers for obvious reasons, but he already knew Dream wouldn't open up about the abuse and lie to his face when asked about injuries. He was mostly worried that if he let Dream know he was aware of it all, Dream would start trying to defend the Villagers. Maybe a little irrational, but they're like 6 years old, of course Nightmare's logic isn't flawless. Anyway, when he triggers the Apple Incident, everything changes. His positive feelings are enhanced, such as his fondness for Dream. As for being hailed as a god by the Villagers, what he once saw as a nuisance and flattery turned into something he desired. He... wanted to be worshipped as the god he is. He was already a bit mentally unstable before hand and told Dream to pick his "favorite" apple from the Tree, but it just increases tenfold now. His solution to problems, at the time, was to just get rid of the source. So when Dream pointed out they're supposed to guard the Tree, not eat its fruits, Nightmare just... killed the Tree. Trauma! Fast forward some time, and Nightmare's grown... manipulative and coercive. He basically weaseled his way into the Council- which is run by CORE- and snagged a high position by sweet-talking his way there. He knows he isn't the sole source of authority, but... well, he does have a god complex. Maybe even a Messiah Complex. He's also a perfectionist and believes he's flawless, that there's nothing wrong with him. He can't properly handle criticism because he's so used to being praised for doing as little as blinking. He genuinely cares about Dream, but he's toxic in the sense that he's controlling and possessive. As I mentioned before, when Dream ran away to see Nightmare again, though he was genuinely concerned for his well-being due to how weak he became, he was... pleased, in a way, and delighted to have Dream be so dependent on him. Part of Ink's reputation as a villain comes from Nightmare's fury over him taking Dream away not once, but twice, and always, ALWAYS running off with him before Nightmare can reach them. Nightmare would never intentionally, knowingly hurt Dream, so he might not even realize that what he wants is harmful to him. Now, were Nightmare to ever accidentally strike Dream... well, I'll leave that to your imaginations.

Dream. Oh sweet, confused little Dream. He's a whole storm of emotions. To put it plainly, Dream's confused. About everything. He doesn't know what he should be doing, who he should believe, what the right thing to do is... and he's scared because of that. He's scared of the world, he's scared of Nightmare (trauma), and he's scared of himself. Of his powers. He doesn't know how to control them. Though he's still sweet and friendly, he's more withdrawn and reserved due to the abuse he's gone through. As a child, the Villagers ingrained it in his head that his "role" was to be the recipient of their anger due to being the Guardian of Negativity. In a lot of ways, Dream was envious of Nightmare. Nightmare was loved by the Villagers, but he also knew they made him work a lot, too... if only there was a way he could help. But he can't leave the Tree, someone has to guard it! Dream so wholeheartedly trusted Nightmare that he didn't even question it when he told him to pick his favorite black apple (mistake 1). So when the Apple Incident happened, his whole worldview just... shattered. When he ran away from Ink, it's because he wanted to believe Nightmare changed. It's been centuries! And he did change! Just... not in the way Dream had been hoping. Sometimes he wishes he could just... go to sleep and stay in the perfect world in his head. Dream's a little neutral on his own, too. He's like a neutral party that's being pulled every which way, but he sees the pros and cons of all sides. I'm reaching a limit so I can provide more context on this, just ask if you're curious

#anonymous asks #balanceswap au #ink sans #error sans #dream sans #nightmare sans #damn this took a while to write

[alovelyburn]

Rambles about Berserk Deluxe Volume 1 (aka V1-3) - Part 1

OKAY WELL OBVIOUSLY NO ONE WILL REMEMBER ME, but whatever, if you’re here you’re about to start getting flooded with Berserk meta again because I am rereading the series and I started doing it on Twitter but holy crap what a nightmare that is. 

Things to note: 

-I like Griffith, if that’s a problem for you then I... I don’t care, have fun with that, I don’t know. -I barely remember how Tumblr works -Honestly a lot of this is probably just going to be me talking about things I already talked about years ago but realtalk I don’t read my own old meta so like, I have no idea what i said back in the day. 

So without further ado, 

Rambles about Berserk Deluxe Volume 1 (aka V1-3)

1. I remember back in my Berserk fandom days there was a disagreement between fans on whether the Black Swordsman arc was necessary at all and whether it should have been situated after the golden age instead of having the golden age arrive as this prolonged flashback. 

The argument was  generally that the Black Swordsman arc spoils the end of the Golden Age, which it DOES but... to me that's skewing the importance a bit, right like the Golden Age is a flashback, the whole point of the entire arc is to explain what's happening in the main story which is  everything *except* the Golden Age. For various reasons the GA is the most famous/popular part and obviously the most adapted part so it does change the way people might see this since so many people come into the manga through one of the animes that really only touched on the Hawks era, but it doesnt change the fact that, in the manga, the Golden Age is literally just a long flashback, so you're *supposed* to know how it ends. 

I also think the Black Swordsman arc provides some necessary context for understanding what happens in the GA, especially re: Griffith's mindset since Griffith  himself doesn't talk much about his thoughts or feelings which has made him rather easy to misinterpret... which is actually what drove me out of Berserk fandom and into JoJo's back in the day because I literally could not stomach another argument about whether Griffith is a sociopath (no).

2. Also, the scene with Guts in the snake duke guy's dungeon (and just his early relationship with Puck in general) is pretty interesting when you consider the much later revelation about his history with the flower elf. Obviously that was almost certainly not something Miura knew  he would add when writing it, but as retroactive logic it does work very well - last time he left an elf get attached to him she ended up killing herself so you know, why do it again?

It really continues into his early attitude with Puck in general, even in the later chapters until he gets used to having the guy around.

3.  Going into the priest-and-daughter chapter (The Brand), it's interesting to see how much of Griffith's stupid Promrose speech he's still carrying around with him.

Priest: My nephew became a mercenary and died 

Guts: WELL THAT WAS HIS DREAM RIGHT, I MEAN HE DID WHAT HE WANTED NO MATTER WHAT, SO WHAT HE DIED ITS FINE, WE’RE FINE.

4. He’s also inherited Griffith’s nasty habit of swallowing his guilt by pretending he’s actually totally cool with people dying because of him. I remember back in the day people used to say Guts comes off as a psychopath or a villain type early on, and I kind of get it, but I do think it’s fairly obvious from the beginning that he’s bullshitting himself. And then of course that becomes VERY evident after his encounter with the slug count and Theresia.

4. In an old interview Miura had mentioned that Casca’s presence post-Eclipse, really the reason she survived the Eclipse to begin with, was to prevent Guts from dissociating form the Eclipse and letting the memory go dull. That does make sense to the writer in me, but the reader in me is like, how could he forget, the eclipse never really stopped happening for him. hes still being attacked everywhere he goes. 

I actually kind of miss the horrible effect of the brand.

5. This has nothing to do with the story but if I’m paying 50 bucks for a huge deluxe edition of Berserk, I feel like I should have gotten the colored pages in color. Just saying!

6. I really just... love Guts so much? His wildness especially in those early days, his apparent fearlessness which is actually just a pretense since per Puck he’s actually afraid basically all the time AND WHO WOULDN’T BE? 

7. I know this gets said a lot but Guts’ sword is obviously used metaphorically a LOT, I mean if I keep doing these things (why,...) it will just come up over and over again, him and his heap of raw iron. But also all his other swords.

8. One of the things I really deeply love about Guts is watching him fight. I could watch the battle scenes in the OVAs forever, and the thing I love about it, aside from watching this person who is in so many ways unsure of himself and his value and his relationships suddenly become absolutely sure and confident and just transform into a force of nature. I bring this up here because I reached the part in the slug count story where Guts reveals the depth of his skill with a sword and its one of my favorite moments in the Black Swordsman arc. 

9. Guts and his rage at people being nice to him.

10. So one of the things Miura did a lot is... this kind of sequence where you get a visual parallel and often text about someone else that is meant to clue the reader in on what’s going on with a different character entirely. This is the first of them - where we start to understand what happened with Guts through this comparison with Vargas, who was mutilated and lost his loved ones to monsters - the specifics of the mutilation are even direct parallels to Guts’ wounds from the Eclipse. In some cases this storytelling technique is very difficult for me to interpret and analyze because I’m not an especially visual person? But I do make an effort to pay attention to it because it’s done a LOT and in some cases those parallels are the only way you ever have a situation or emotion directly addressed (eg. the King and Griffith in the dungeon, which is just the King and Griffith talking about the King in a way that we’re meant to understand applies to Griffith but yeah anyway that’s several volumes in the future). 

Also the ENTIRE final confrontation with the Slug Count is literally 75% this exact storytelling technique so its not surprising to me that the first use is a parallel between Guts and Vargas, particularly with the later parallels between the Count and Fermto/Griffith.

11. And there he goes again, covering his pain and guilt and self-hatred with rage and disdain. Genuinely one of the things that frustrates me about Western Berserk fandom is the stubborn inability to perceive the nuance in Griffith’s character yes, but also in Guts’s character. He is so often perceived as just the metal badass on a vengeance quest because he hates Griffith so much and hes actually a pretty complicated person with extremely complicated relationships with himself and Casca and Griffith and so much of it is literally just stated outright that I have no fucking idea how people miss it, it is the weirdest thing I have ever encountered in any fandom ever and I don’t understand why it happens. Anyway.

12. So, the obvious interpretation for this scene would be that he’s thinking about the ever ambitious Hawk who ended up self-destructing... but I actually think he’s talking about himself. He’s shitting on himself for having dared to imagine that he could step out of Griffith’s shadow and do something that made him Griffith’s equal and, in the process, ended up abandoning the people he loved in a way that led to Griffith turning into a demon and Casca being raped and going mad, killed his surrogate family and got him permanently maimed. 

Now let me be clear, I don’t think it’s his fault. But I think he thinks it’s his fault because he aimed too high and accidentally broke Griffith. Which, I mean, he is aware that he’s the one who did that by this point.

And that is why, even though he identifies with Vargas, even though he is frustrated and pained by Vargas’s situation, he also holds Vargas in contempt. Because he sees himself in Vargas, and he hates himself.

...

It’s 3am, I’m gonna stop now. Bai!

#not the berserk tag #i think thats what i used to use #meta #berserk meta #rambles about berserk

[relative-dimension]

“The Warriors of Death”

Season 1, episode 28 - 30th May 1964

[id: Ian looks smugly at Ixta and holds his thumb up, Autloc stands behind them and is looking at Ian’s thumb /end id]

All the interesting bits are done, and now we have three episodes to kill! Oh no. I’m slightly surprised when I remember that this is one of the Absolute Classics of the Hartnell era, it’s just got enough going on beyond episode 1 to interest me (also I forgot to mention it but last episode’s title is slightly revealing about what the writers really think of this culture. Like, yikes.)

Is it an entertaining watch: 4/5, at this point, yes. If I were to review these immediately after I watched them, without considering the serial as a whole when discussing it, then probably I would have much better things to say about the story as a whole, since it’s only on reflection that all the problems become evident (that’s less to do with the severity of the issues this story has and more to do with the fact that it is mostly fun to watch so I spent less time thinking about it in the moment, and also I had assumptions about the trajectory of the story which were completely off)

Does the production hold up: 3/5, the fight at the end, like many fights in this stage of the show, go on for far too long, the actors are still white, and the attention to detail is apparently good, although I have no real clue since I’ve never studied this period.

Does it use its time well: 3/5, if I were to change one thing to fix the pacing and vibe of this serial it would be to stretch the timeline out a lot. The central narrative is Barbara’s control over Autloc and Tlotoxl slipping as she attempts to impose her worldview on them, and the logical traps that she, Tlotoxl, and to an extent Dr Who are playing against each other (one of the best bits of the serial is how they get trapped in each others machinations), however if the story was, say, a 6-parter, and this played out over weeks or months rather than what feels like a few days at the most, then the timeline of that arc could become much more fleshed-out, instead of just existing in episode 1 and a bit here before being replaced by “how are we gonna get out of this one” as the main tension. Then again, people often complain about slow pacing and long stories so perhaps it wouldn’t be a popular change.

Are the characters consistent and well-used: 4/5, with the exception of Susan (whose actress is on holiday) the characters are used so well here. Dr Who’s scheming interrupting Ian’s plot, Barbara being manipulated into Situations

Is there anything actually going on under the surface: 3/5, sometimes I feel like I’m being too harsh on a children’s show for having simplistic morals. Then I remember I’m a petty little bitch and can say whatever I damn well please. Why are the morals of this show so simplistic and why do they fall directly into “non-white culture = bad” godddddddd

Does it avoid being a bit dodge with its politics: 2/5, I know why they put in the “Susan wants to marry by choice” scene, and of course I don’t think arranged marriages are good or anything, but something about that scene feels really shit. They probably would put something similar in if they were writing about a European country too, but choosing to have the white characters object to every tradition such as that one serves as a microcosm of the way this entire serial attempts to tackle Aztrec culture, as the white saviour-esque heroes look down their noses at various aspects of this civilisation and

Overall Score - 19/30

#when i watched it i really liked it but this serial is like milk. the more u leave it the worse it gets #that is an awful analogy but u get what i mean #doctor who #dw #dw review #first doctor #ian chesterton #barbara wright #susan foreman #historical #16-20

[dreamgaze]

the bare minimum

It might be a grand gesture or a simple habit, a recent relationship or a marriage: everytime social media hears anything about love, the comment section is immediately flooded with “that’s the bare minimum” or (its dramatic version) “the bar is in hell”. When we judge something, we’re usually comparing it to something else; it failed to meet our expectations because we believe in the existence of something superior. So what is the superior type of love? What does the ultimate relationship actually look like?

I should point out that this type of comment is a lot more common when a heterosexual relationship is being portrayed, which makes sense: any imbalance in a relationship between a man and a woman seems very palpable. That is, even if a heterosexual couple is aware of and rejects sexual hierarchy, they might have to spend their whole lives learning new ways of relating to each other. 

But I’m afraid that, just as we had started analyzing these dynamics, we have been dragged to another inflexible way of thinking — the fact that our current way opposes that previous (more conservative) one creates only an illusion of progress. There was no radical change, and so the neoliberal approach to relationships mimics the neoliberal approach to beauty.

The collective notion of what a normal relationship looks like went from completely settling (i.e enduring an unhappy marriage for 50 years) to expecting the other person to seamlessly transform into whatever we view as an ideal partner. 

And so, as it has done to our faces, social media deforms our relationships through the same never ending pursuit of perfection. There’s an acute anxiety about seeming the supposedly best, which has ironically turned everyone and everything into the same distorted simulacrum. 

Love, as well as beauty, is a delicate symmetry crowned by the unexpected. Both of them must flow in their own unique way. It’s evident if we look for it in nature: we’ll notice that there’s a synchronicity rather than flawlessness. In our current ways of maintaining relationships, however, there hasn’t been any room for sensibility or authenticity.

In these conditions, how can there be actual love? We fall in love because there’s a spontaneity that is inherent to it. Anyone that has fallen in love knows that it’s the exact opposite of having control, which is why the pain of unrequited love is known to be gut wrenching: because even through loneliness, one can’t help but continue to nurture the feeling. On the other hand, few experiences compare to the bliss of falling in love with someone that is simultaneously reflecting back the same infatuated feelings. 

Unfortunately, most people are not willing to be vulnerable enough and fall in love. The perfect partner cannot be met, it does not exist beyond a perfectly curated list of physical and psychological attributes. Eventually one becomes attached, but it’s really not the same as developing a relationship through reciprocal infatuation. Nonetheless, it’s simply impossible to love and feel loved without it happening naturally. 

Of course, during a long term relationship, love matures. The initial infatuation is changed into deep intimacy and comfort. The couple will build and rebuild what they consider the foundations of their relationship. But that initial flame can always be rekindled: because of that initial synchronicity, the tacit agreement of being open and completely vulnerable, a relationship will feel naturally resilient, adapting through various life phases.

The bare minimum mindset leaves very little space for a relationship to develop in a genuine way. One thing is to expect that your partner will be attentive, respectful, romantic even. Another thing is, instead of reflecting on what would be your own set of non-negotiables, to follow flimsy parameters someone else set when starting a new relationship or evaluating an existing one. 

I find it absurd that personal expectations have lost priority to collective expectations. In a healthier social environment, the bare minimum should naturally vary from one person to another. For example, a collective expectation is that your significant other should remember your birthday. But if you feel weird about your own birthdays, a personal expectation would be that your significant other be aware of that as to not plan a surprise party. There’s no consensus around surprise birthday parties, it should only be considered the bare minimum for a specific person, as a personal expectation. 

The idea of an ultimate relationship cannot be a set of rules prescribed by others, it has got to be imagined and built by two people in love.

There was this video of a woman who felt grateful about her husband taking the time to watch Barbie (2023) with his two daughters; she had realized how the discussions present in the movie sparked new conversations between them. A lot of people commented that it was the bare minimum, completely missing the point. 

Through a new light, he better understood his role as a husband and as a father of two girls. They had bonded as a couple and as a family, in a way that was new to them. The point is not that it should have happened before, but that it had finally happened (considering it might never have). 

Because the ability to create, improve or reestablish balance comes from observing and communicating imbalance, this kind of experience means finding space to build a new and more elaborate type of closeness — which is exactly what sustains love in long term relationships. 

Besides that, I find it very contradictory that people expecting men to be better were actually not impressed by a man exercising empathy and feeling touched by a movie made for women. It might have something to do with it having been considered “feminism 101” — which is something I also disagree with, as I have been studying sociology and feminism for at least a decade and was still very moved by how Barbie examines girlhood. 

We used to look for social media as an outlet, a way of portraying ourselves in a flattering light. Now we aim to create a life worth posting, a relationship worth posting, even if there’s nothing behind it. A lovely cardboard life, a thoroughly curated nothingness. Everything is the bare minimum, so fulfillment is completely out of reach. How sad, that by constantly looking for something superior we have been left with a blank space.

#thebareminimum #writing #essay #feminism

[riahlynn101]

"Waiting in the Aftermath" (4).

Chapter 4

---

Having a family is as much an unnecessary vulnerability as it is a welcome relief. It never left his mind how, at any given moment, his enemies might discover his weakness, exploiting it for all it’s worth. And despite what the pro heroes might spout about him having little to no emotional attachments, that particular weakness is worth everything.

All for One sits in the chair next to his son’s bedside. Mother and son are asleep in the bed, evidently exhausted from their crying session. He smiles. Anyone else might be annoyed at how overly sensitive and prone to tears his wife and child are, but he finds it oddly endearing. It reminds him of himself. Back before he had to suppress his emotions, severing them. 

He sighs, shouldering his jacket off.

Tomura was unlikely to wake up until later, and the doctor can deal with any messes that might occur for the next few hours. 

Hisashi carefully nudges his son closer to the middle of the bed, climbing in to join his family. He shifts to get comfortable, cuddling close to his family. 

Running his fingers through his son’s curls and rubbing his knuckles against his wife’s impossibly soft skin, All for One is content. 

-x-x-x-

Tomura wakes up, surprisingly not in pain - for once. The doctor is sitting facing away from him, tapping away on his keyboard. The monitor shows footage from the battle he was teleported away from. 

The chair the doctor’s sitting in creaks. He swivels. “Ah, Shigaraki Tomura, how are you feeling?”

“Fine,” he says. “What happened?”

“Sensei needed his quirk back.” 

“So…I don’t have All for One anymore?” 

Dr. Garaki swivels back to the screen. “No.”

Tomura is stuck between childish anger (did Sensei not think him competent enough?) and relief (the vestige kind of scared him, like father used to. Too controlling.) He doesn’t trust himself not to say something worthy of becoming the doctor’s next science project, so he just nods. 

After an awkward few minutes of neither of them saying anything, the doctor clears his throat. “If you feel fine, then Sensei wants to see you in his office.”

Tomura nods again. 

Usually being able to see Sensei would be the highlight of his day, but ever since Kamino, he’s become less and less fond of the man who “saved” him. But there’s not much he can do. He’s stuck here, for now.

“Sure thing.” He slides off the examination table. 

“Oh, and Shigaraki Tomura?” 

He pauses his slow gait to Sensei’s office. 

“Do try to control your temper when you get there. Sensei is in a good mood, and I would hate for anyone to ruin it.”

“Of course.”

-x-x-x-

Izuku has been through his own fair share of trauma. Bullying and oppression due to his assumed quirklessness, his father’s abandonment (or so he thought, but that’s a whole suitcase he would rather avoid unpacking), and the whole legacy that comes with wielding One for All. Waking up to All for One cuddled up next to him (and way too close to his mother) might top them all. 

He smiles fondly at Izuku. “Sleep okay?” 

Izuku, to his credit, doesn’t scream bloody murder. The fact that this man may or may not be his father changes nothing. The fact that he has a variation of All for One changes nothing. 

“What are you doing?” Izuku asks, subtly scooting closer to his mother. Judging by the deep, rhythmic breathing behind him it would be safe to assume she’s still asleep. Which means she (hopefully) didn’t grant the resident supervillain permission to join them in bed. 

All for One laughs, brushing a stray curl away from Izuku’s forehead. “Can’t I snuggle my family.”

He cringes back. “I don’t like that any of those words left your mouth, much less that you used them in a connective sentence.” 

“You’re funny.”

“Wasn’t trying to be.”

A loud beep sounds. All for One hums. “Seems we have a guest.” He sits up, soothing the wrinkles in his dress shirt. “Come along now.”

Izuku sits up as well. He blinks. “Why?”

His fath- All for One freezes in his movements. His suit jacket is half off still.  “Because I said so.”

Which might be the most parentish answer, ever. He would need a billion hands to count the amount of times his mom said those exact words. 

Arguing never worked with her, and he’s not really in any position to argue with him (whether or not he’s his father). 

“Fine,” he grumbles. 

-x-x-x-

Tomura stands at attention the minute the door knob starts rattling. It’s been procedure since he was a little kid. Something about politeness, he really doesn’t know, manners has never been his forte.

Sensei enters, along with-

“Why is he here?” His tone, to his surprise, is even. The green-haired hero brat of the 1-A class has been a thorn in his side, and someone he has sought to destroy since the U.S.J incident. But he would be lying to himself if said he hadn’t “missed” him. 

It doesn’t escape his notice how the hero brat tenses up, hovering in the doorway. 

Sensei takes a seat behind his desk. “Plans have changed. Izuku?” 

It will never cease to be funny that the brat All Might choose as a successor has the deposition of a baby bunny rabbit. His soft features, curls and freckles, certainly don’t help. He watches the boy drag his feet all the way to Sensei’s desk, standing obediently (albeit warily) beside it.

Tomura shifts in his seat. “Have I not done enough?” He hates the man in front of him for everything he’s been put through. He hates how Sensei’s help came with the price tag of forgetting who he was. Hates that Tenko Shimura never had the choice in becoming Tomura Shigaraki: The Symbol of Fear. 

But….there’s a small part of him. His inner child. The one that wants so desperately to be saved. The part of him that grasps onto any sort of praise his so-called savior gives him, feeding his need for validation. 

“No, Tomura Shigaraki, you’ve done just fine.”

He breathes a sigh of relief at that, slouching in the chair. 

“Before we continue, I would like to introduce you to my son-”

His mind went straight to a record scratch. Tomura stands up quickly. “What!?” Midoriya jumps into a fighting stance, the faint outline of One for All making itself known. 

“Calm down, Tomura Shigaraki,” Sensei tells him, tone monotone as always. “I’ll explain everything. Sit back down, please.”

Tomura listens, trembling with barely concealed rage. His son? Sensei has a son? And it’s the exact brat he’s been urged to fight for over a year? Is he another one of their moles? A traitor with impeccable acting skills? 

But no, that wouldn’t make sense. Sensei has never had much patience in regards to those that act out. He has seen countless examples of that fact alone. Not to mention how feral the brat gets whenever his friends get hurt. 

“You seem a little confused. Let me start at the beginning,” Sensei says, using one of his telekinesis quirks to bring a chair over for the brat. “It all began with two brothers.”

#dfo #cross posted on ao3 #mha fanfiction

[alienidentities-f22a]

Fan Work Analysis Post

This is a YouTube fan edit music video about Michael Guerin and Alex Manes’ relationship. The song is This is Me Trying by Taylor swift.  It shows the ups and downs and problems in the relationship followed by clips of them being together and trying to work everything out. The fan work depicts the evolution of Michael and Alex’s relationship over the course of the show. In doing so, the video shows the imperfections of Michael and Alex’s relationship. By following each lyric with a matching clip, the work is able to accomplish it. The video is very well done, it is far better than I could have imagined a fan work could be.

Had someone never watched Roswell New Mexico, it would just seem like a mash up of clips shipping two characters together. However, the creator artfully weaves together the past and present to show evolution. The fan work changes to a black and white overlay filter when showing clips of the past in high school where there were no problems and the two of them ruled the world. The black and white sections mostly take place during instrumental moments. The beauty of the music frames this time of their lives as perfect. In contrast, this also portrays the color (more current) parts as imperfect.

The video opens with the struggles, confusion, changes, and fear that Michael and Alex face. It shows them separately intercepted by clips of their past. As a whole, the piece relies heavily on imagery as evidence, using the lyrics to fit as puzzle pieces. One lyric says “I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting” which is accompanied by Alex knocking on his metal leg. In the time since the past black and white clips, Alex has become disabled which changes how he interacts with the world around him. Not only have Alex and Michael’s minds changed but their bodies have changed as well. Despite being an alien, Michael has human emotions and a human relationship with Alex. This video takes into account the imperfection of Michael that gives him humanity rather than focusing on his physical abilities.

In the end, it shows them together. The clip of them breaking down the walls of the shed is a good start to the continuation of their relationship. The video is not trying to say that their relationship is perfect, or that one single action, like Alex singing or them deciding to break down the shed, will cause finite perfection for the future. Life is full of struggle and problems and a myopic view causes one to solve a problem and expect it to be the last. “This is Me Trying” shows that things will keep coming their way and they will have moments of discourse but their love is what causes them to keep trying and pull through to live another day as a couple. They are trying to break down the barriers that continue to separate them from each other and move on.

#Hannah Saurborn #rnm fan post

[kyovtani]

𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 – 𝒊𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒛𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒋𝒊𝒎𝒆

࿏ pairing: iwaizumi hajime x chubby female reader ࿏ genre: fluff, smut, angst; best friends to lovers!AU ࿏ word count: 11.6k (at this point i have no explanation, im sorry) ࿏ warnings: swearing, mentions of body image issues, self doubts, anxiety, bullying, fat shaming; as well as violence and blood (iwa gets into a fight mwah); ddlg (daddy dom-little girl) dynamics, soft dom!iwa, body worship, praising, sugarcoated degradation, spitting, choking, fingering, face riding, unprotected sex

࿏ Summary: After four years of trying to get over your stupid crush on your best friend, said male finally comes back home and all of a sudden all of those plans are thrown overboard...

Even though you‘ve known about it for so long now, you still feel your heart skip a beat when Matsukawa mentions his return to Japan and no matter how hard you try to, you can‘t help the way the disgusting mixture of anxiety, nervousness and excitement starts filling your veins.

After all it‘s been literal years since you‘ve last seen him.

Iwaizumi Hajime, former Seijoh Ace, now freshly majored athletic trainer, your best friend of ten years and — love of your life.

However, of course he doesn‘t know about the latter and as pathetic as it may sound, you‘re quite proud of yourself for hiding your feelings for him so well that he hasn‘t suspected anything in all these years the two of you have been friends.

Of course it‘s painful and basically nothing but literal torture to watch the guy you‘ve lost your heart to years ago, move on with his life thinking he‘s nothing but a friend to you, but you know you‘d always choose this pain over the one of rejection and shame.

Because after all you‘re not his type or what he looks for in a partner and you're very much aware of it.

And no matter how many times you daydream about a life as his girlfriend, you won’t ever forget about the fact that Iwaizumi Hajime, basically a literal athlete, would never date someone who looked like you.

Growing up on the bigger side, physically wise, has always been difficult and something you're struggling with to this day. You had always hoped for those extra pounds to disappear once you hit puberty, just like it had happened to all of your friends but those hopes were quickly destroyed when you still found yourself hiding from full length mirrors to avoid having to look at your own body in your third year of High School.

By the time you turned eighteen, you had tried every kind of diet in hopes of losing weight but all of them just ended with you losing motivation and every bit of your happiness and even though you still struggle with it in your mid-twenties, you‘ve come to terms with it.

This is who you are and despite taking literal decades to realize it, you‘ve slowly but surely started accepting it.

However, when it comes to relationships, you‘ve given up completely.

After years and years of being rejected, hidden, fat shamed and disrespected by men who hated their own attraction to bigger women, you stopped wasting your time and energy on dating. If you wanted to hear someone shame you for being big, you could just go home to your family or back in your memory to remember all those mean things the skinny girls in your school had thrown at you.

Or you could just look in the mirror and let your brain do the job after eating literally anything.

Just thinking about a guy like Iwaizumi looking at you in that way has you chuckling coldly and every time you imagine confessing to him, it ends with a broken heart on your side because your brain loves to keep things realistic and never once have you considered the possibility of him liking you back.

It‘s not that Iwaizumi, or any of the Seijoh Volleyball boys, have treated you badly or even slightly differently in the three years you were their manager, but after having to deal with fat shaming your whole life, it has become quite difficult for you to believe that anyone found you attractive at all.

Especially people like the widely known Seijoh third years who also happen to – still – be your closest friends.

And unfortunately, as glad as you are that Iwaizumi remains rather oblivious to your year-long crush on him, the other boys, including the professional athlete to be, Oikawa Tōru who’s currently living his best life in Argentina are pretty much aware of your feelings for the trainer.

So, just as usual whenever the topic of Iwaizumi Hajime enters the conversation between the other two, you’re met with pitying stares from Takahiro and a lot of teasing coming from Issei. But at this point you’ve gotten quite used to it and don’t mind the brunette’s words, whereas you still find yourself growing absolutely annoyed at the way Makki stared at you.

“Stop staring at me like that, Hiro!”, you hiss and roll your eyes, the pity in his face so evident, if you didn’t know any better you’d think he’s mocking you.

“Just confess to him already!”, the strawberryblonde hisses, running one of his pale hands through his locks before he takes a big sip from his beer.

“Yeah, sure!”, you spit back, your words dripping in sarcasm and annoyance as you try to avoid your chest from growing even heavier at the thought of your best friend coming back after all those years.

“He broke up with that blondie months ago”, Matsukawa begins, his naturally sleepy gaze roaming your face attentively, “and he’s coming back to Japan. Now you really have no excuse left, Y/N”, and just as usual his words hit the right spot and all you can do is let out a shaky sigh before the intensity of your insecurities breaks down onto you like a huge wave.

“I‘m not his type, Mattsun”, you hiss, the bitter taste of reality coating the muscle of your tongue in the worst way possible, “and I‘ve had enough males reject and– or fat shame me. If I have to add Hajime to that list as well, it’s going to break me.”

You feel the two males’ soft gazes on you, whereas you can‘t help but focus on the napkin in between your fingers in hopes of distracting yourself from all those dark thoughts by nervously pulling at it.

“Iwa‘s not like that, Y/N”, Makki replies, brows furrowed in irritation; something you've grown quite used to seeing whenever the topic of your body image issues occured.

“Has he ever dated a big girl before, hm?”, you reply and look at him with arched brows and your lips pressed into a thin line. At the lack of response from the two men in front of you, you just lean back and nod.

“That‘s the point”, you take another deep, shaky breath; the tears threatening to spill from your glossy eyes at the thought of your pretty faced best friend and only men in your heart, “nobody likes women who look like me in that certain way, my loves. Every guy I‘ve been and slept with wanted to hide me or the relationship we had because they didn‘t want to be seen with a big girl.”

Suddenly you‘re hit with the memory of all those times you went home after any kind of intercourse with a male who had brought your hopes up with sugarcoated lies. Only to receive a harsh reality check when they asked you to not tell anyone about it, knowing it‘s simply because of the fact you aren‘t part of society‘s beauty standards.

“Y/N, we-”, “I‘m not talking about you two”, you‘re quick to interrupt Hanamaki, giving him a soft smile, “I know you don‘t care about it and sometimes I find myself wishing I would have fallen for one of you instead of the professional trainer”, you let out an empty, coldhearted chuckle before you finish your glass of wine in one go.

“I would fuck you without hesitation”, Mattsun shrugs, his plump lips stretching into a playful smirk and the tiny hint of seriousness in his gaze has you rolling your eyes with a soft scoff.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Issei”, Makki hisses and gives his best friend the same reaction as you.

“What? I‘m being serious! You know this isn‘t the first time I‘m offering this to you, pretty one”, the brunette replies and this time you can‘t help but chuckle softly at his words, showing him your appreciation for his ability to make such heavy topics vanish from the surface so easily.

“Thank you, Issei but that guy I met on Tinder has been ghosting me for two weeks after we fucked and that‘s why I‘ve had enough dick for now”, and just when you let your gaze roam over the brunette‘s handsome face, you watch Hanamaki‘s face brighten up suddenly and furrow your brows in confusion.

“Hearing Y/N talk about dick is definitely not what I was expecting to come back to but it‘s surely a surprise!”

And upon hearing the familiar voice of your best friend, you understand the reason behind the change in Makki’s expression.

You watch the other two get up from their chairs, approaching the freshly majored trainer with the biggest smiles plastered on their faces whereas you try your best to stay as calm as possible.

However, the simple thought of Iwaizumi coming back had already stressed you out and having him stand behind you in all his glory made the tightness in your chest and the struggle to take proper breaths intensify just like that.

After what feels like an eternity you finally get yourself to stand up as well, turning around literally convinced you‘re ready to see him again after all these years only for it to be the exact opposite.

Your heart skips a whole beat at the sight of Iwaizumi and for a quick second you feel yourself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen in your lungs.

“Hey”, he mumbles, his voice deep and raspy, something you‘re used to since the two of you have been talking regularly on the phone over the time yet hearing it in person again sends a jolt of hot arousal right into your core.

You nervously let your eyes roam his face; taking in the sight of his features, which have become even sharper during his absence. A soft sigh falls past your lips when you find the little scar right underneath his eyebrow which he had gotten back in middle school during one of his volleyball practices. The familiarity and feeling of security in the soft expression of his pretty, dark green eyes calms you down in an instant and by the time you feel your muscles ease up a bit, he‘s already approaching you with open arms.

Different than you’ve expected from yourself, you‘re quick to wrap your arms around his slim waist, taking him into your embrace with the intention of never letting him go again and at the feeling of his big hands on your body, you can‘t help but tear up a little.

You sniffle softly against the crook of his neck, Iwaizumi letting out a breathy chuckle at your sweet reaction as he caresses your back gently, subconsciously massaging your soft flesh to calm you down even more.

“Seems like someone missed me a lot more than she wanted to admit on the phone, hm?”, Iwa mumbles softly, placing the sweetest kiss on the top of your head as he holds you tight.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki let out a row of deep chuckles, partly laughing at your obvious reaction and partly because of their best friend‘s blatant oblivion.

“Shut up”, you reply with a sniff, taking in the light yet intense smell of his aftershave as well as the scent of detergent you had missed oh so much.

“Enough now, Y/N”, Mattsun huffs, “you can cuddle his stupid ass some other time, let‘s catch up with Mister America”, he adds and you know too well the tall brunette simply does it to stop you from falling even further into this dark hole you‘ve dug yourself; all those years ago.

Throughout the whole night, you stay rather quiet; listening to Iwaizumi‘s stories, more so to his voice but definitely his stories, too.

And every time he mentions some random girl he hooked up with or one of his ex girlfriends, you can literally feel the way he‘s avoiding your gaze; his eyes moving away from your face to focus on the guys as his voice turns a little less enthusiastic. You try your best not to read anything into it, knowing he‘s always been more hesitant towards you when it came to topics like this and in some way you find yourself appreciating it because it definitely helps to make the pain in your chest a little less heavy.

The atmosphere between the four of you remains calm; the familiarity something you‘ve always missed despite you and the other two boys spending just as much time together as you used to back in High School. Having Iwaizumi in your little circle again definitely has changed the air and it‘s in times like these you realize just how close you all actually are.

However, when Hanamaki and Matsukawa both stand up, cigarettes firmly placed between their plump lips, telling the two of you to give them a few minutes, you feel yourself slowly wandering into a state of anxiousness and slight panic.

It‘s not like you haven‘t talked to him alone during his stay in America, but the thought of having to look him in the eyes as you speak has always been something you‘ve struggled with.

Iwaizumi has this certain expression in his beautiful, dark green eyes, which makes it so much harder to not fall for him even more.

You don‘t know if it‘s the confidence and lack of insecurity or the mixture of softness and home which have the butterflies in your stomach go absolutely crazy.

Neither of you say anything for a good minute, your eyes glued to your phone screen which continuously lights up; Oikawa‘s name appearing several times.

You excuse yourself to give the professional athlete the responses he‘s waiting for, rolling your eyes at his way of telling you to shoot your shot at Iwa and “get that D”.

“Are you still talking to that one guy you told me about?”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his eyes never once leaving yours and with a soft chuckle, you shake your head; enjoying the amount of protectiveness dripping from his words.

“We fucked and then he ghosted me”, you say casually, not realizing that it‘s not one of the other two boys you‘re talking to and with a soft gasp of embarrassment you try to mumble your way out of the situation.

“Iwa, I‘m-”, “Why the fuck would he even do that? Give me his fucking address so I can introduve his kneecaps to my baseball bat”, he‘s quick to interrupt you harshly, his tone filled with anger as his eyes gleam with wrath.

“It‘s okay”, you smile softly, placing your hand on his balled fists to calm him down again, “he told me not to tell anyone that we did it so his intentions have never been good. And on top of that – his dick game was so bad, I didn‘t even get to finish but had to take care of it myself, so it‘s definitely not worth the headache.”

You watch Iwaizumi‘s expression darken even further, his beautiful dark green eyes roaming your face with irritation oozing from his gaze and for a second you like to believe that there‘s even a hint of jealousy in between all those intense emotions but just as usual you find yourself shaking it off rather quickly.

“Why did he ask you not to tell anyone? What the fuck is even wrong with that guy?”, the brunette spits, downing the rest of his beer in one go.

You know why he‘s this angry and at this point you can’t even blame him anymore. Iwaizumi has never really understood why you put up with guys who treated you like absolute shit; continuously telling you how you deserved so much better and even though you wanted to agree, you simply couldn‘t. Because in your head, all those men who were ashamed of being with you yet still found their way to your door were exactly what was meant to be your life.

“Because being with a woman like me isn‘t anything he‘s proud of, Iwa”, you sigh, the words heavy and bitter on your tongue as you struggle to voice the hard reality.

“A woman like you?”, he replies and you see the genuine confusion on his handsome face, making his oblivion sweet almost.

“A big woman, Iwaizumi. Guys don‘t date big girls because we don‘t fit into society‘s beauty standards so being with us is something they‘re ashamed of because God forbid someone thinks they find us attractive“, you nervously play with the hem of your skirt, not having the courage to look into his face as those thing leave your lips, too embarrassed to meet his usually so welcoming and soft, but now wrath-filled gaze.

“That‘s bullshit”, Hajime is quick to spit back, hating the way you belittle yourself like that because of a random guy.

You smile, a soft scoff falling past your lips before you take a sip from the glass in front of you and even though you know you‘re going to regret those words, you still can‘t get yourself to stop from leaving you.

“Then why have you never dated a big girl, Haji?”, your voice is slightly shaky yet you remain the eye contact like a champion, never once averting your gaze from his handsome face even though the thrumming of your heart in your throat makes it so much more difficult to stay focused.

Iwaizumi seems taken aback; your words obviously hitting a place he wasn‘t expecting and that‘s when the feeling of guilt reaches its peak.

“I‘m not- It‘s not because I don‘t find them attractive I just- I uhm-”, the freshly majored professional trainer stumbles over his words like a two-year-old who just started learning how to speak and at the sight of a deep blush covering the apples of his cheeks as well as the tip of his nose and the whole of his neck, you let out a soft sigh.

“You don‘t have to explain yourself, Iwaizumi. I wasn‘t trying to accuse you of anything or offend you in any way, I promise. It’s just a topic I‘ve grown really tired of in the past few years”, you explain, making sure to choose your words carefully and when the tall male suddenly starts calming down again, you know you‘ve got him.

“Y/N, look-”, “Hey, Y/N the weak-dick-game guy is sitting at the bar with his ugly friends, just for your information”, Matsukawa‘s deep voice quickly cuts Iwaizumi off, his words sending shivers down your spine in the most disgusting way possible and with an almost painful roll of your eyes, you down the rest of your best friend‘s beer.

“Wait- What? Which one is it?”, Iwaizumi grunts, the calmness from a few seconds ago completely gone as you look at him with brows furrowed in slight irritation and annoyance.

“It doesn‘t matter, Iwa”, you say and wrap your fingers around his tattooed wrist, making him look into your eyes with another soft exhale, “he‘s not worth it. Just let it go.”

“Y/N, I said”, Iwaizumi is quick to place one of his big hands on your cheek, the dominance in his aura and the authority gleaming in his eyes has you gasping for air and just as usual you feel your panties growing wetter by the minute, “which one is it?”

His words don‘t leave room for protest; so strict and demanding, no matter how hard you try to think rationally, his naturally dominant persona has you submitting to him in a way no other guy has ever managed to.

“T-The one with the long, dark purple Hair”, you quickly reply, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s anger and determination.

“Good girl”, he mumbles and pulls away, not even aware of the way his praise has your cunt throbbing like crazy and you absolutely hate him for it.

For a second you can‘t even get back to reality, the haze of arousal and longing for the tall male standing in front of you completely taking over your consciousness.

However, as soon as your brain registers Makki‘s panicked voice, you‘re quick to snap back and without missing another beat, you grab Iwaizumi‘s arm and look at him with pleading eyes.

“Please don‘t make a scene”, you whisper, knowing oh too well how much he loves to get himself in trouble because of his friends.

“He fucked then ghosted you all that while saying he doesn‘t want anyone to know he was with you because you're a big girl? That ugly fucker needs a fucking reality check because he can count himself hella fucking lucky to ever get a go with a woman as amazing and hot as you”, Iwaizumi hisses, his words filled with anger yet so, so sweet that without giving it another thought, you simply let go and try not to show him just how flustered he‘s gotten you.

“Are you guys about to kiss right now?”, Matsukawa suddenly says and with an almost audible roll of your eyes you lift your hand up, showing him your middle finger before you watch Iwaizumi‘s brows furrow even further with visible irritation.

“Then don‘t fight him”, you sigh, “please, Hajime, don‘t get yourself in trouble for a guy who‘s not worth it.”

“We‘ll see about it”, is all he says before he moves out of your tight grip, leaving you to stand at the table like that.

You feel your heart picking up its pace at the sight of the love of your life approaching your ex-hook up; several worst case scenarios popping up in your head within a few short seconds. And unfortunately every single one ends with Hajime throwing his fist into the guy‘s face because of his raging anger issues; something he‘s been trying to handle throughout his whole life.

“Makki, please do something”, you whimper and look at the strawberryblonde with glossy eyes; shivers running down your spine at the sudden sound of Hajime's deep voice cutting through the music of the bar.

“Not into you my fucking ass”, Takahiro hisses and follows Iwaizumi with quick steps, whereas Matsukawa remains next to you, watching the scene unfold with the fattest, shit eating grin on his face.

And while you‘re worried about Iwaizumi‘s well-being, said male can‘t even seem to think straight. The only thing he manages to focus on is the raging anger and hot wrath rushing through his veins at the thought of some random, small dicked guy treating you like dirt. With every step he takes, it seems to get worse and at some point the professional trainer is worried about his physical health because of the pace his heart is hammering against his rib cage with.

Iwaizumi has always struggled to understand why you put up with males who are literally unworthy of your presence yet every time he had asked, you simply shrugged and told him that this was how you were meant to be loved. Behind closed doors, hidden away from the world by people who literally worship the society‘s beauty standard.

And all of that when you‘ve had him right in front of you for all those years, ready to love and worship every bit of your body and soul.

Of course for you to let him love you he might have had to tell you about his feelings but as the years passed by, Iwaizumi slowly started to lose every bit of hope he had left. During his four year long absence you‘ve had your fair share of boyfriends and after the third one, the only choice he had left was to force himself to move on or else he would have lost his mind.

It‘s not like he never wanted to confess during High School but there was just something holding him back. The thought of losing you was heavy on his chest especially because Iwaizumi was very well aware you didn‘t feel the same. So for his own sake he chose not to tell you about his feelings for you; not even bearing the mental image of going through such rough times without you by his side.

He‘s already lost count of the amount of times he wanted to scream at you about how he would treat you just how you truly deserved to be treated and not like those douchebags who liked to use you for their own pleasure just to throw you away like a used tissue once they were done.

And after not being able to physically do anything for you because of the distance, he‘s finally got the chance to show you that no, those guys‘ behavior is not okay and yes, putting them back into their place is absolutely worth the headache.

“Hey”, the trainer hisses, coming to stand directly in front of the tall, purple haired guy, Rin Matsuoka,  who‘s quick to harden his expression upon seeing the brunette.

“What can I help you with, big guy?”, Rin mumbles, placing his bottle of beer on the counter with his brows raised in curiosity.

Iwaizumi doesn‘t even waste another minute as he harshly grabs the collar of Rin‘sblack leather jacket, pulling him closer to himself. His friends  rather quickly, yet Hanamaki and this time even Matsukawa are faster, coming to stand right next to each one of them with their arms firmly placed in front of their bodies to stop them from intervening.

“You‘re gonna listen to me and you‘re gonna listen good, did you fucking hear me?”, and just like a few minutes ago, Hajime‘s voice is cold and distant, not leaving room for discussion all while making sure to keep his tight grip.

The confusion and immense irritation is clearly visible on Rin‘s features; brows furrowed, jaw tensed and eyes gleaming with some kind of unnameable anger.

And the longer you watch the situation unfold, the heavier the anxiety in your system becomes and as you struggle to take proper breaths, you find yourself approaching your best friends; not wanting him to get his hands dirty on a guy like Matsuoka.

“What the-”, “Iwa please, he‘s not worth it..”, you say and wrap your fingers around his wrist, trying to find his gaze with desperate eyes only for him to gulp harshly and calmly tell you to take a step back.

“You?”, Rin spits, his dark eyes boring into your side as you try to ignore him; the amount of humiliation and shame washing over your body way too overwhelming to handle.

“Haji, let‘s just go, please”, you whisper, taking his face into your hands, his skin literally burning underneath your fingertips.

“No, Y/N, this stupid bastard has to understand that you can‘t just go and treat women like absolute dirt and get away with it”, Iwaizumi moves out of your soft touch, making Rin shift his attention back on you before the deep voice of one of his friends cuts through the tension.

“What the fuck is he talking about, Rin? Do you know her?”, the blonde says, his tone rather degrading when talking about you and at the way his eyes roam your body with a rather opposed expression show you exactly why that‘s the case.

“N-No, I don‘t!”, he‘s quick to defend himself, his eyes shifting to his friends with sheer panic filling the dark color and you feel your heart sink and the disgusting feeling of shame rushing through your veins.

“You‘re such a fucking piece of shit, Rin”, you hiss and swallow your tears; the taste bitter as the realization of being sometjing to be ashamed of hits you yet again.

“You definitely weren‘t acting like this when you fucked me”, you add and roll your eyes, taking a step back as the anger overcomes you and you basically give Iwaizumi a silent free pass to do whatever the hell he needs to, “or better said – when you tried to. It wasn‘t like I came with your weak dick game anyway so..”

“You fucked that fat bitch? Oh, yikes”, the other friend suddenly says, his words hitting you in the face like literal bricks and before you can even take your next breath or shift your eyes to the face the voice belongs to, the guy suddenly falls to the floor, holding his bloody nose.

You let out a shocked gasp, your eyes falling to Hanamaki who‘s busy shaking his hand, his knuckles already reddened and slightly bruised as he looks at you with a satisfied grin, “no one gets to call my best friend a bitch.”

“I was full on drunk and- do you really think I‘d fuck her sober?”, Rin tries to talk himself out of it and with a cold chuckle you throw your head back.

“How the fuck dare you talk to her like that”, is the last thing Iwaizumi spits before he throws his fist right into Rin‘s face with a deep grunt.

Another loud shriek escapes your lips and suddenly the anger and anxiety seem to leave your body and a huge wave of adrenaline hits you at the sight of your ex-hook up falling to the floor and Iwaizumi quickly moving with him.

For what feels like a whole hour but is probably nothing longer than a minute, you‘re literally frozen; your eyes the only moving part of your body as you watch your best friends break their knuckles on the jaws of literal strangers to them.

The following hour passes by in a blur. You can‘t really remember how or who separated them from those guys, or how you got yourself to call an uber and manage to get the four of you to your flat.

By the time the adrenaline stops making the blood rush in your ear, you‘re taking care of Matsukawa‘s wounds with shaky hands; the two others holding ice packs to their faces to ease the swelling of their bruises.

“Stop sighing so much”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his dark eyes focusing the movements of your hands before he looks at you with a slightly softer expression, “we did what we had to do. And I‘m glad we did it. Those guys already looked so fucking punchable”, he explains and with a scolding scoff you press your lips to a thin line.

“You‘re back in Japan for how long? Two days? Yet already got yourself in trouble, a physical fight at that, Hajime. You‘re not your High School self anymore, start behaving that way, please”, you reply and hand Mattsun a plastic bag filled with ice cubes, softly caressing his bruised cheek before you stand up from your place on the floor.

“You got yourself one hell of a mouth while I was gone,  huh?”, he replies cockily, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue before he follows you into the bathroom.

You feel your body heating up at his words, the sexual tension laying underneath the surface slowly finding its way to you again and with a soft sigh, you ignore the brunette.

“How was I supposed to let him say all those things to you and not do anything, Y/N?”, Iwaizumi replies, a pouty word of gratitude leaving his lips when you take his big hand into yours and start cleaning up the blood on his bruised knuckles.

You try your best to stop your thoughts from wandering to sinful places yet images of those pretty, tattooed fingers wrapped around your throat and knuckle deep buried inside of your cunt have already filled your mind by the time you lower your gaze from his face.

“I‘m used to-”, “That does not make it okay, Y/N”, your best friend suddenly says, taking your chin in between his fingers to lift your head and look at you with those beautiful, dark green eyes.

“You deserve so, so much better and I‘m glad I can finally tell you this in person after all those years. Please stop letting douches like him take advantage of you”, he sighs, taking your hands into his and pulling you a little bit closer to himself.

“It‘s that or Matsukawa‘s cock and I‘d rather have a stranger emotionally pain me than my best friend, so-”, “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”, Iwaizumi interrupts you harshly, your words obviously irritating him.

“After my last boyfriend dumped me a year ago I‘ve only had casual flings because I got tired of using my hand to get off and Matsukawa offered to take care of it instead. But then again, it‘s just a lot less complicated with a stranger than it is with your best friend, that‘s why I‘m putting up with shit like this”, you explain to him and walk back into the living room where Mattsun and Makki are currently busy with your leftover take out from the previous night.

“So if it wasn‘t for that, you‘d let him fuck you?”, Iwaizumi‘s tone has turned cold again, the softness gone and replaced by something a little thicker and more intense than anger. And when you turn around to look at him, you see literal jealousy gleaming in the green color surrounding his iris, basically leaving you speechless.

“Why do you even care, Iwa?”, you reply, dramatically throwing your hands into the air as his tensed demeanor sends you in some kind of haze of irritation.

“Answer my fucking question, Y/N”, is all you get in response; the brunette closing the distance between the two of you with a few small steps and it‘s the lack of space between your faces that has you realizing just how unevenly he‘s breathing.

Your heart starts slamming against your rib cage with rather brutal pace, your head spinning from the sudden adrenaline shooting through your body and on top of all of it you feel your cunt clenching around nothing like crazy as Iwaizumi’s heavy scent fills your nose.

“Yes”, you say and feel your voice breaking, “yes, I would fuck Matsukawa because why not? Hm, Iwaizumi? There‘s nothing else stopping me from it other than-”, “You can‘t and won‘t fuck him”, he suddenly interrupts your outburst, his expression as dark as ever as he softly pushes you against wall.

“I think this is the moment where we‘re supposed to leave”, Makki mumbles, pulling Mattsun from the couch before they gather their things and leave the two of you to yourself.

As the silence surrounds the two of you, the tension grows even thicker, heavier, more present than before and with every breath you take you feel yourself growing more and more aroused.

“And why is that, hm? I can and will fuck whoever I want”, you spit back, trying so hard ot not let the arousal get to your head yet the disgusting urge to submit to Iwaizumi‘s naturally dominant personality slowly starts overwhelming you.

Hajime chuckles deeply, his eyes lazily roaming your face, pressing his strong body even further against yours as your head starts spinning more and more with every second passing by.

“Iwa…”, you whimper softly, throwing your head back and harshly digging gripping the soft fabric of his shirt; the close contact makes you a lot more nervous than before.

He slowly takes a deep breath before he bends down to let his nose graze your jawline, and eventually letting his mouth find its way to your ear.

“Because no one can fuck you like I can, pretty one”, Iwaizumi whispers, his voice a whole octave deeper than just a few seconds before and you hate the way every single one of his words sends a single, hot jolt of arousal right into your core.

“And”, you hear him inhale sharply, his hands finding their way to your hips, groping the soft flesh firmly in his palms before he takes a short break and then pulls away to look at you again, “no one can love you like I can.”

At the sound of those words, your eyes snap open within a second your heart skips a literal beat.

“W-What?”, you whisper, your throat completely dried up, your head desperately trying to process what he’s just said and just as your body is about to fall into some kind of haze, you feel yourself drowning in a wave of anxiety at the thought of having misheard him.

“I love you, Y/N”, Iwaizumi says just when those thoughts are about to take over you.

“Ha-Hajime…”, you mumble; your bottom lip starts to quiver as tears pricker at the corners of your eyes, the first few finding their way down your cheek in an instant.

A few seconds of silence pass in which you two just look at each other, Iwaizumi’s pupils blown out, cheeks tinted in the deepest shade of red and plump lips parted as he also tries to understand what just happened.

After all these years of imagining what it might be like to hear these kind of words from the love of your life, it’s finally become reality and the longer you look at him, the lighter the weight on your chest becomes.

“I’m sorry if I ruined our friendship with this but I just – couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. When I was in America I had promised myself to confess as soon as possible when I’m back so here I am. Those men don’t deserve you. Neither do I but I would have hated myself forever if I didn’t at least try. So”, he finishes his sudden explanation with another deep exhale before he takes a step back, his glossy eyes wandering from yours down to the floor, “thank you for everything and please take care.”

And fortunately your body acts a lot faster than your mind because while you still try to process his soft, sweet words – the words you’ve been dying to hear for so, so long – you find yourself tightening your grip on his shirt and pulling him back into you with a soft sob.

“I love you, too”, you whisper against his lips, pressing your forehead against his as your eyes flutter shut at the overwhelming warmth coming from his body.

“Fuck, baby”, Iwaizumi chuckles breathlessly, wrapping his arms around your body and burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m one lucky bastard, aren’t I?”

You smile brightly at his genuine and soft words, the feeling of coming home – a place you’ve longed for literal years – slowly breaks down onto you in the form of waves and for the first time in a really long time, you don’t mind being overwhelmed like that.

“So that means that you’re mine now?”, Iwaizumi whispers, pulling away and taking your face into his big hands, the smell of blood grazing your nose yet easily gets overshadowed by the way he’s looking at you as if you were holding the whole world in your hands.

You nod and move further into his touch, enjoying the feeling of being so safe and secure in one’s hands after not even feeling comfortable with anyone in years.

“T-Thank you for loving me, Iwa”, you gulp harshly, looking at him with teary eyes at the memory of all those who had managed to break your heart in the past years.

“No, baby”, he sighs, pressing the softest kiss right onto your lips, “thank you for letting me love you. When I say you’re literally everything I’ve ever dreamed of, I’m not even exaggerating because that’s what you are to me. A dream come true”, those are the last words Hajime mumbles before he pulls you into a proper kiss; not giving you the opportunity to reply.

The kiss starts off slow and calm. As if both of you were still trying to understand that this was actually happening because despite the hesitant movements, neither of you can hide the intense hunger lingering underneath every soft peck.

Iwaizumi, just as usual, lacks the patience to keep it going like that, not even trying to take it easier for even longer as he pulls your chin down and calmly pushes his tongue into your mouth, easily eliciting a soft moan from you. Your fingers find home in his brown curls, pulling at the thick strands and finally making him grunt right against your tongue; the deep sound sending vibrations and sweet little jolts of excitement through your whole body.

You slowly feel his hands wander; first starting off caressing your back, groping the soft flesh of your waist as well as the fingers of his right hand softly digging into your skin and for a second. You allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper into the perfect feeling of his touch until suddenly a mental image of his most recent ex-girlfriend pops up in your head and you stop functioning completely.

Iwaizumi lets his lips wander down your chin, placing a row of open mouthed kisses on your jaw before he moves to your neck and pulls the sensitive skin into his mouth without wasting another minute. The feeling of his hot tongue on your skin has your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you desperately try to distract yourself from your anxiety‘s attempt to ruin this for you.

You let out a soft whimper when Hajime wraps one of his big hands around one of your tits, harshly groping the flesh while rubbing his hard, clothed cock against your thick thigh.

His deep grunts and needy touches have you ruining your panties in no time to the point where the lacey fabric is literally sticking to your hot flesh in a rather uncomfortable way.

“Need you, baby”, Iwaizumi grunts, the movements of his hips rather sloppy and rushed yet so, so genuine and sweet, you can‘t help but smile softly.

“You got me, Haji”, you reply and take his handsome face into your hands, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs, “I‘m all yours.”

“Fuck, baby”, he moans and suddenly pulls away, his hands finding their way to the hem of your dress before he meets your eyes and wordlessly asks for your consent.

You give him a quick nod, pushing the voice of your anxiety all the way to the back of your head as Hajime slowly pushes the fabric up your thighs, revealing more and more skin before his eyes roll into the back of his eyes at the sight of your black lace panties.

He doesn‘t waste much time; quickly pulling the rest of it over your head and then taking a whole step back to let his greedy eyes roam your body with lust and nothing but adoration.

And when you realize your current, exposed state you take a deep breath to hold those insecurities back, however they‘re a lot faster than you are.

You nervously try to cover your naked body with your arms. Just the thought of him finding you and your body disgusting breaks your heart into pieces and with shivers of shame rushing down your spine, you lower your gaze.

“L-Look, I know it‘s not what you‘re used to and I- you don‘t have to touch me. I can just suck your cock or give you a handjob if you feel more comfortable that way”, you say, your voice a mere whisper and eventually breaking at the end when you give in to the tears.

“Baby…”, Iwaizumi sighs, pain evident in the tone of his voice. He calmly takes your wrists into his big hands before he pulls your arms away from your body, softly asking you to look at him and after what feels like an eternity, you manage to lift your head only to be met with nothing but warm, dark green eyes.

“You‘re fucking perfect”, he whispers and places a tiny little kiss on your lips, leaving you longing for more as he pulls away right afterwards, “there‘s literally nothing I would change about you.”

At the sound of those sweet words, you simply cannot hold back your tears any longer. You look at Iwaizumi with a quivering bottom lip as you let out a row of soft sobs; digging your nails into the skin of his wrists because you simply don‘t know what else to do.

For the first time in your life, your brain isn‘t protesting against a compliment and you know if it wasn‘t for him, there would be no way you‘d believe it.

“B-But your ex-girlfriends are the exact opposite and-”, “They don‘t matter, baby. You‘re you and it‘s all I could have asked for. I‘m in love with every part of your body and that has never been any different”, Iwaizumi interrupts you with his calm voice, placing his hands on your waist before one of them finds its way to your barely clothed ass.

“But-”, “No more buts”, the brunette says, a lot sterner and more determined, groping the flesh of your ass and then landing a firm spank on the soft flesh which has you whimpering into the crook of his neck.

Iwaizumi chuckles and pulls you into another deep kiss, sucking at your tongue, nibbling on your bottom lip all while his hands make sure to graze every bit of naked skin they can find. He pushes his leg in between your thighs, pressing it right against your cunt and without even wasting another second you find yourself grinding against the strong muscle. The fabric of his jeans rubs your throbbing clit in the best way possible, eliciting a row of needy whimpers from you.

You feel yourself soaking through the fabric of our lace panties and you know you‘re currently leaving a huge stain on Iwaizumi‘s pants but the pleasure clouding your mind makes it so easy to just ignore it.

“What a needy girl you are, baby”, Hajime mumbles, caressing the slightly dampened skin of cheeks with his thumb before he moves to graze your bottom lip and eventually pushes the digit into your open mouth.

Your lids fly open at the taste of his skin on your tongue, twirling the muscle around his thumb and then sucking on it softly, followed by some muffled moans of his name.

Iwaizumi watches you attentively for what feels like an eternity. His beautiful eyes wandering from the way you‘re rubbing your clunt against his clothed thigh to your perky nipples and then up to the way your lips look wrapped around his thumb like that and from the way his expression keeps growing darker and even hungrier, you know he‘s more than just enjoying your despair.

“I want to spit in your mouth”, he says, using the dominant tone you‘re oh so used to at this point and there‘s no way you‘d ever say no to him.

Something about being claimed in such a lewd way by the man you‘ve been dreaming of for years has you grinding your pussy into his thigh even harder; making sure to hit your clit with every rushed drag of your hips.

“Yes, p-please, Daddy”, you beg, not even overthinking any of your words as you part your lips and look at him with big, needy eyes.

When you notice the rather shocked and slightly overwhelmed expression on Iwaizumi‘s face, you gulp harshly, tilting your head to the side with your lips pushed into a concerned pout.

“What‘s wrong, Iwa?”, you whisper, way too scared of his response.

“You called me Daddy”, he replies and licks his plump lips, whereas you freeze completely at his comment.

“D-Did I? I‘m so sorry, Iwa”, the apology falls past your lips almost instantly at the realization because you know that not every guy is comfortable with such dynamic and even if Hajime definitely has a natural dominance to his personality, you should have waited a little longer before bringing this particular kink up.

“None of my boyfriends liked it and I don‘t like using it with completely strangers so I g-guess I just feel really safe with you and it slipped and I- oh, God, I‘m so sorry.”

You pull away from Iwaizumi with shaky hands, tears threatening to spill for the nth time within such a short period and you try your best to look everywhere but his eyes.

However, Iwaizumis seems to have other plans.

He takes your chin into his hand and pulls your face closer, nudges your nose with his own and then sucks your bottom lip into his mouth; making you whimper rather loudly.

“Say it again, baby”, he whispers, “tell Daddy how badly you want his spit.”

As his words echo inside of your brain, you let out a loud, high pitched whine, harshly trying to press your thigh further together ss the throbbing of your cunt becomes unbearable.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply, pushing his hand down to your neck and smiling softly when he wraps his pretty fingers around your throat, feeding right into every single fantasy you‘ve been imagining for so long, “spit in my mouth and on my cunt, I don‘t care. I just need it.”

“Good girl”, Iwa growls softly, “open up then, pretty one.”

You part your lips almost automatically at the sound of his demand, sticking your tongue out slightly and looking up at him with anticipation and such eagerness, if it wasn‘t for him, you would have never been as comfortable as this.

Iwaizumi smirks at you, keeping his grip on your throat firm but not too tight as he gathers his own saliva and spits into your mouth with a loud, lewd sound that sends shivers of pleasure straight down your spine and right into your core.

You can‘t stop your lips from stretching into a big smile when his taste coats the muscle of your tongue, swallowing it all in one go before you open your mouth yet again to show him it‘s all gone.

“Good fucking girl”, Iwaizumi praises you softly, caressing your cheek before he lets fo of your throat, “I got myself a perfect little doll, hm?”

“Thank you, Daddy”, you reply quickly, the intense urge to obey to his every word and submit to his every move absolutely overwhelming  at this point, but you would never want it any other way.

“Look at you, using your manners for me. You‘re welcome, princess. What about a little reward for being so good for me, baby? Wanna sit on my face so I can eat that pretty pussy of yours?”, Iwaizumi takes you hand into his, intertwining his fingers with yours before he guides you to the couch, letting himself fall into the soft cushion whereas you try your best not to panic at his words.

Of course the thought of having his mouth on your cunt is more than just tempting but you've never sat on a guy‘s face before; the fear of literally suffocating him with your weight making it impossible for you to even think about it.

“C-Can‘t you just eat me out like this, Daddy?”, you whisper, looking down to meet Iwa‘s hungry gaze and stopping him from pulling your panties any further down your thighs.

“I‘m too heavy”, the explanation follows right away, not wanting him to think it has anything to do with him or his wishes, “I don‘t want to hurt you.”

“Baby, I want you to sit on my face so I can eat your pretty pussy. That‘s it”, Iwaizumi says, his right hand finding the clasp of your bra and quickly getting rid of it before he takes both of your tits into his big hands; toying with your nipples and attentively watching the way your gasps grow louder with every pull on the perky buds, “you don‘t have to if you don‘t want to but don‘t you dare worry about me because this has been a dream of mine for literal years. Oh, how badly I want to be squished by those pretty, thick thighs of yours – you have no idea.”

“I want to! It’s just that I’ve never done this before. A-Are you sure? Please don‘t think you have to want this to make me feel better, I‘m okay with whatever you‘re comfortable with”, you whisper, not trusting your voice when you suddenly feel Iwaizumi‘s fingers tracing patterns on the inside of your thighs.

“Enough of this, pretty one”, his words are accompanied by a firm spank on your naked ass cheek; the pain of the sting leaving your pussy a spasming mess and with a soft moan you tighten your grip in his hair, “now sit on my face or I won’t fuck you.”

“N-No! Daddy, I‘m sorry, I promise I‘ll be good”, you whine quickly letting go of him so he can lay on his back only for Iwaizumi to get rid of his black shirt; revealing his strong, well trained body and all those dark lines adorning his tanned skin to your hungry eyes.

It takes you a few good seconds to gain enough confidence to actually spread your legs over his face, your whole body shaking with nervousness. But once Iwaizumi wraps his strong arms around your thighs and pulls your body even further down to his face, you slowly start easing up.

The feeling of his hot breath fanning against the wet flesh of your cunt sends goosebumps down your back. And the sight of his pretty face between your thick thighs, something you‘ve always been so insecure about, seems to slowly take a place as one of your favorite images to ever exist.

“Look me in the eyes, baby”, Iwaizumi mumbles and sucks at the skin of your inner thigh, his tongue on your skin making more and more juices gush out of your already drenched cunt as you allow yourself to meet his hungry gaze.

And just when your eyes meet, Iwaizumi sticks his tongue out and licks a long stripe over the hor flesh of your pussy before he gently pulls your little clit into his mouth and starts sucking on it.

You let out a loud groan; the sudden stimulation on your needy clit sending literal shock waves of pleasure through your body and without even realizing you slowly grind yourself further against his mouth.

Iwaizumi moans into your flesh, the deep bass of his voice sending vibrations right into your core, making your cunt clench even harder around nothing and if it wasn‘t for the intensity of his stare, you would have looked away already. Yet just as usual, there‘s something about the way he looks at you which has you feeling at literal ease – even in such a situation.

“Come on, baby”, Iwaizumi suddenly grunts, letting go of the sensitive bud with a loud sound before placing an open mouthed kiss on your clit and landing a harsh spank on your ash which has your body jolting in antica, “don’t be shy now. Ride my face like the good girl you are, make me proud…”, he adds softly, his words encouraging you easily and with a sound of affirmation, you start grinding your hips to meet the hot muscle of his tongue.

The following minutes are filled with loud slurping noises, high pitched moans and deep grunts as well as more words of affirmation and encouragement all while Iwaizumi continues to switch between thrusting his tongue into your tight hole and sucking on your clit before he eventually starts fingerfucking you with two of his thick digits.

You can't help but throw your head back at the immense amount of pleasure; your body and mind slowly reaching a point of complete haze as you lose yourself in the feeling of his touch.

And by the time you finally feel the taste of your high coating the tip of your tongue, your grip on Iwaizumi‘s hair tightens and a row of loud, choked out begs fall past your bit swollen lips.

“Look at your greedy little pussy clenching around my fingers like that”, Iwa chuckles deeply, picking up the pace of his thrusts as he keeps his mouth way too close to your throbbing little clit, “and those pretty begs. Gosh, baby, you‘re going to drive me insane.”

“S-So close, Daddy”, you choke out, your eyes flying open when you feel a third finger joining the two inside of your tight cunt, the pain of the stretch in combination with the pleasure of your upcoming high making your head spin.

“There we go, that‘s my baby”, he takes a deep breath and starts kneading the soft flesh of your ass in his palms, “want you to cum all over my fucking face. Show me what a good fucking girl you are.”

And those are the last words your brain manages to register before you feel the first wave of your orgasm hit you. Your sight turns pitch black and then white for a good second, your whole body tensing up at the feeling of coil in your core finally snapping.

Your thighs are shaking, your breath continuously hitching as you desperately try to regain your composure and if it wasn‘t for Iwaizumi‘s touch on your sensitive pussy, you‘d stay in the beautiful haze of your orgasm.

“You came so hard for me, baby”, Iwaizumi grins and pushes his fingers into his mouth before you finally find enough energy to get off of his face.

“W-Want more”, you whisper, your voice raspy and breathy as you tell him your request; low-key scared of being too greedy yet at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s eyes sparkling with excitement, you know he‘s not one to deny you anything. He‘s never been, after all.

“How about we move this to your bedroom, baby? I‘ve been dying to press your face into the mattress and ruin that little pussy of yours.” You feel a jolt of excitement blooming inside your chest at his words, nodding eagerly before you reach for his hand and guide him down the hall to your bedroom.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”, you say when the two of you come to stand in your room, your eyes focusing on the huge bulge in his pants, which manages to scare you slightly with its impressive size.

You always knew your best friend wasn‘t on the smaller side when it came to size yet you still can‘t hide just how surprised you are by its actual size. And suddenly the three fingers make a lot more sense to you.

“Let‘s save that for another time, pretty one. I‘ve been dreaming about pumping your cute little hole full of my cum for way too long. I can‘t wait any longer”, Iwaizumi replies and finally starts unbuckling his belt.

You take the few seconds he‘s busy to let your eyes admire the beauty of his perfectly sculpted body. You follow the dark lines of his chest tattoo, take in the sight of his stone hard abs and veiny arms as you press your thighs even more together to ease some of the pressure on your cunt.

“Are you done eyefucking me, pretty one?”, Iwaizumi suddenly chuckles, casually pushing his jeans as well as his boxer briefs down his meaty thighs and exposing his hard cock for your hungry eyes to devour.

He wraps his pretty fingers around his throbbing length, the tip an angry shade of red as precum continues to leak out; making your mouth water at the mere thought of having him in your mouth.

“Everything about you is so pretty”, you sigh and look into his eyes, the genuine appreciation in the green surrounding his iris making your heart grow warmer before he comes to stand in front of you in all of his glory.

“I love you so much”, Iwaizumi replies calmly, taking your face into his big hands before he places the softest kiss on your forehead.

“I love you, too”, you mumble and get up, pressing your lips against his and sighing into his mouth when he pushes his tongue past your lips without missing a beat.

Just when Iwaizumi starts letting his hands wander over your naked body, he halts his movements and pulls away slightly, “my pretty little baby, make sure to face the mirror so you can watch while I fuck your brains out. I want you to see just how perfect you are.”

“Yes, Daddy”, you whisper, your lips stretched into a big, big smile as you move out of his strong grip to position yours on your knees just as you were told.

Your heart suddenly starts racing again when you bury your face in your arms, making sure to push your ass as high as possible to give Iwaizumi easy access to your glistening cut. The excitement in combination with the pleasure and deep, deep longing finally manage to take over your brain; shoving the anxiety alongside all those insecurities to the very back of your head and making it easy for you to put your whole focus on the tll male behind you.

Iwaizumi’s rough hands caress your bare ass softly, kneading the flesh and lightly spanking it a few times before he lets a thick drop of his spit fall right onto your clenching pussy; sending goosebumps down your back at the feeling of it sliding down your flesh and mixing with your leaking juices.

You feel the tip of his thick cock nudging your entrance, the memory of his size making you tense up subconsciously and just when you’re about to hold your breath, Iwaizumi’s deep, calming voice echoes through the silence of your room.

“Take a deep breath, baby”, he whispers, knowing you’re going to follow his orders just like the good girl you love to be, “Daddy’s got you, okay? I’m gonna go easy, I promise.”

You lift your head to meet his comforting gaze through the mirror in front of you and without another beat passing, you feel yourself calming down again; the feeling of being absolutely safe and secure in his hand making it the easiest task.

And when Iwaizumi feels the tension in your body easing up, he lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes his thick tip into your tight hole. You whimper at the delicious stretch, the pain easily overshadowed by the sound of Iwaizumi’s heavy breathing and little moans.

“I’m gonna go all in, baby or else it’s going to hurt a lot more”, you appreciate his warning because as he’s saying it, Iwaizumi thrusts the whole of his impressive length into your spasming cunt; pushing every bit of air out of your lungs and pushing you way too close to your second high of the night. You can’t help but whimper loudly, tears already streaming down your cheeks because of the beautiful feeling of pain and pleasure mixing inside of your veins from the intensity of the stretch.

Iwaizumi, as always the gentleman, gives you all the time you need to adjust to his size; only growing slightly impatient as you still whine softly after two whole minutes yet you’re quick to lift your head again with quivering bottom lip and teary eyes, begging him to just fuck you.

“Please, Daddy”, you sob, moving away from him in a desperate attempt for some kind of friction; your cunt spasming around his thick cock like crazy and you know you’re only a few thrust and some clit stimulation away from your next high, “please, fuck me.”

“My greedy little whore”, Iwaizumi grunts, pulling his cock out of you astonishingly slow with the sole purpose of teasing you, “you’re going to take what Daddy gives you, did you hear me?”

You moan as the feeling of his tip dragging alongside your spongy walls, your eyes rolling into the back of your head only to find your way back to reality with a couple of harsh spanks on your already sore ass.

“Good sluts answer when being talked to, pretty one”, he warns, thrusting his cock back into you with one quick snap of his hips; burying himself balls deep inside of your overly sensitive cunt.

“Yes, Daddy, yes”, you cry and look up at him with glossy eyes, “just please, fuck my stupid little cunt, please.” Iwaizumi lets out a row of deep chuckles followed by raspy groans in response to your perfect answer before he nods at you and mumbles a few soft praises right into your ear and then straightens himself again.

“Alright then, pretty one.”

Loud grunts fill your ears so beautifully, echoing through the thick air of your bedroom and in combination with the sound of skin meeting skin in a constant rhythm, you feel the exact way your body is slowly falling into the beautiful bliss of another high.

Iwaizumi fucks you fast, harsh and rough. There’s nothing soft and romantic about the way his hips are meeting yours in a steady rhythm; making sure to hit that sweet spot deep inside of your pussy with every single one of his thrusts as he continues to use his whole strength on your burning ass.

But not once do you even think about telling him to go easier on you; this iwaizumi the one you’ve been imagining for all those years.

It doesn’t take long for him to wrap his strong arm around your chest to pull you up, his fingers also finding their way back home around your delicate throat.

“Look at you, baby”, he groans right into your ear, making you open your eyes and meet your own reflection in the mirror, “you’re so fucking beautiful, I can’t comprehend it.”

You stare at yourself with your lips parted in awe, eyes falling to the sight of Iwaizumi’s thick cock stretching your tiny cunt before you go back to trying to recognize yourself.

Because for the first time in literal years, you don’t hate what you see and even if it’s because of IWaizumi’s strong body right behind you, you still feel this certain type of warmth blossoming in your chest.

"Feels so good, baby", he groans, throwing his head back as the movements of his hips start to become slightly sloppier, a little more uncontrolled, "so tight and warm, so fucking perfect", Hajime’s voice breaks at the end of his soft praise because of your walls clenching around his cock even more the closer you get to the edge.

You start feeling dizzy, your sight turning into a blurr and at some point you can’t even in- or exhale without letting out a shaky moan.

Iwaizumi looks at you with wide, hungry eyes, the feeling of your walls gripping his cock like a goddamn vice sending him into an ecstatic state and the longer he watches you getting lost in the pleasure, the more he struggles to keep his rhythm.

You’re mumbling incoherent sentences, desperately trying to tell the brunette about how close you are whereas the pleasure makes it absolutely impossible for you to form a proper sentence.

“Are you going to cum for me again, baby?”, Iwaizumi grunts, tightening his grip on your throat, making you gasp for air as you nod in response to his question.

“My perfect little slut”, he sighs, his hand reaching down to rub your hard, throbbing clit with two of his rough digits, “fucking do it. Cum for your Daddy like the good whore you are.”

And just like a few minutes prior, those words are the last straw and eventually make you stumble over the edge head first. Your walls start spasming around Iwa’s cock like crazy, your loud moans and soft cries are the only thing he can focus on and without missing another minute, Iwaizumi also lets himself get consumed by the beautiful feeling of relief.

Iwa hips still, his cock buried deeply inside of your tight sex as he coats your walls with his creamy cum. Your new boyfriend gets lost in the feeling of finally getting to cum inside of you after waiting for so many years; feeding the fantasy of getting to claim you in the most intimate way possible. He buries his face in the sweaty crook of your neck, his rapid breath fanning your skin as the two of you try to calm down from your intense highs. Your hand finds its way into his dark hair, massaging his scalp with your eyes closed and your legs still shaking from the aftermath of your breathtaking orgasm. Without pulling out of you, despite his own release leaking out of you and down the sides of his cock, Iwaizumi makes you lay down with him; just tightly holding you in his arms.

A few minutes filled with nothing but soft breathing pass by before you finally find the strength to move again; the sudden need to look at Iwaizumi’s completely fucked out face overwhelming you in the best way possible. And when you turn around to look at him, you’re met with a breathtaking sight.

Messy strands of sweaty hair falling into his flushed face, swollen lips and glossy eyes sparkling at you in a way you’ve never seen before and in that moment you feel yourself falling in love with Iwaizumi all over again.

“I’m so in love with you”, you whisper and caress the soft skin of his cheeks, loving the way he moves even further into your touch.

“Always and forever only yours, pretty one”, Iwaizumi sighs and presses his forehead against yours.

࿏ A/N: And here it finally is! My first x chubby reader fic!! As a chubby someone who’s been reading fanficion for a long time, I’ve always craved some kind of representation and now I finally got to join this side of the community and I’m more than just happy about the way it turned out. I genuinely hope you guys will enjoy this and find comfort the same way I did while writing this. Please feel free to leave any sort of feedback if you enjoyed it and thank you so much for everything.

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