I finished Itto’s story quest and I have to say that he’s not as dumb as he seems. He’s not very smart, indeed, but I don’t think his IQ is as negative as some memes portray. In fact, I thought him to be quite quick-thinking and capable of discerning good from bad options under pressure, indispensable qualities for a good leader. The issue is that when confronted by problems that require puzzle-solving or more logical thinking, he’s really not good with that and will try to solve it banging his head against the problem until it’s solved – with very mixed results.
I really think that if Itto had a different education, he could’ve grown different. Grandma Oni taught him to be a gentleman, the basics of life, but not differential equations. He doesn’t seem the type that would sit his butt in class, but there are many stories of geniuses that were doing all kinds of crazy things to not stay in class, just like Itto would.
But, at the same time, it made me think of a rather sad AU: if she was swapped with Sara, getting to the Kujou clan. Takayuki would take advantage of Itto’s strength and use him to terrorize his rivals, depriving him from any form of love. General Itto would’ve be a terrible sight, scaring off anyone who happened to be in his way, but an ultimately sad man who was taught nothing but loyalty to ideas that just benefitted Takayuki’s shady deals. He’d be his attack dog (with no concept of stealth, that’d be Kuki’s role, General Itto’s invisible hand, but she tries to befriend him, but he’s so closed, still they both have absolute trust in each other). I feel sad just by imagining it.
But, as a tonal whiplash, Sara would be adopted by Grandma Tengu, who’d love her unconditionally. It’s easy to imagine her becoming a magical girl tengu, proclaiming sappy “In the name of justice, I will punish you!” speeches before taking down evil-doers with her incredible speed. She’d be a ray of sunshine in everyone’s lives, even if she’s a bit bird-brained (she’d fall for the glass trick, maybe that’s how she lost her vision during the decree). Her gang would have some romantic name like Holy Quintet (it used to be Holy Quartet, but she convinced disgraced detective trying to recover his honor Heizou to officially join it) and they’d do poses.
In the vision hunt decree, Itto and Sara would have a cat-and-mouse game (since her specialty is speed), but he’d get her vision eventually. So, they have their notice board war, with her wanting her vision back, challenging him many times. Even after her vision is returned, she still challenges him because she realized how sad he is and decided she’d be his friend, trying to have a fight that would be fun for an oni, since she learned from stories onis liked to fight.
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Like a completely normal adult person, after watching the new trolls movie, I obsessively started putting together the brothers' backstory, the deeper reasons for their separation as well as how that all took place without disregarding the fact that they were trapped in the troll tree, which of course evolved into a fic in (forever) progress... yeah
Anyway, even though they aren't actively in the story much, i needed to design the parents, so uh meet Rosiepuff's daughter, Tulip, and her husband Branch.
I designed them based on the brothers' adult looks and in Tulip's case also on her mom's.
bonus baby branch:
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Tell us the sex stone joke
so this joke requires the light setup of, as the Resident Geologist, on any given hike my dad will have been subjected to a light barrage of Hey What's This Rock I Just Picked Up Off The Trail, answers ranging from "that's clearly serpentinite, the state rock of California—note the distinctive gray-green color and soapy texture" to "that's probably a local mudstone" to "that is a piece of concrete" to "that is tanbark."
the joke typically runs as follows:
you, presenting an interesting pebble for identification: hey, what's this rock i just picked up off the trail?
my dad, after a few seconds of thoughtful examination: ah, interesting. what you have there is what's known as a "sex stone."
you, slightly shocked by the apparent erotic provenance of what you thought was a random rock: oh! okay. i see. thanks.
my dad, slyly: would you like to know why they call it that?
you: um. yes?
my dad: BECAUSE IT'S JUST A FUCKING ROCK.
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