#when i say that out of all arts my relationship to literature is the most special sacred intimate and fucknut bonkers this is what i mean

[urlocallesbiab]

sometimes i feel my story nagging at the back of my mind, gnawing, clawing, breathing down my neck, demanding "i need to exist", "i want to exist"; its desire and will powerful and overwhelming.

when it will be written, it won't be the most beautiful or smart or sophisticated story ever, i know that even now, it may even come to be overall unremarkable; and yet towards it i feel sheer, unfiltered awe, simply for the fact that it is a story and posseses a will to exist, a great and awesome will, and i am the sole witness of it, the sole prophet and worshipper to this decisive power. a story, it feels to me, is a separate mode of being, something vaguely and imcomprehensibly conciousness-like, but abstract and untethered, while human conciousness is unseparable from the intimacy and realness of us being animals. a story needs us, our animal bodies and lives and minds, our hands and mouths and neurons, to help it become real, to take it and bring it onto earth: something halfway between a symbiotic relationship and a religious experience. i find myself subservient to it, to art as universal divinity and to my story as my personal deity that embodies the former.

this loyalty to sublime makes me feel more at peace and in tune with the mundane than anything ever before it. i realize, in a sudden grace of acceptance, that in order to serve my story, to write my god i need to be alive, a blessed animal, and to be alive i need to take care of myself, which means i have to do the dishes and find a job and various et cetera; everything shifts and makes perfect sense. i no longer feel confused or burdened as to "why should i bother", and my body moves lighter and easier.

but the thing about unwritten stories is that they don't yet exist in any physical sense, not as electronic signals or pigment on paper or air vibrations or projected light or anything else; my story in its full form resides only in my head, and thus my awe and loyalty and service towards it are directed, ultimatey, unto myself, in the most sefless and selfish fashion simultaneously — self-love through division and synthesis. to serve art is to love yourself, and to love yourself is to make sure you're alive; to want your story to exist is to want yourself to exist. it's a complex system, but beautiful. with that thought, i'll go finish the dishes, and maybe cook something.

#vikarambles #writing #ive read the washington post article on The Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations Millenium General Assembly #and it did something to my brain #when i say that out of all arts my relationship to literature is the most special sacred intimate and fucknut bonkers this is what i mean #literature owns me like an animal (like christian god's lambs) and like a prophet and i own it like the universe and like my guts #also the fact that ive watched cj the x's video essay ''the kronk effect'' (aka you are to live in the service of art) is really showing #watch that essay it's really good it has the power to change you as a person if the circumstances are right #btw the story that haunts me like a golden bird of prey is. dghda android dirk au #but this post isnt about the merits of projecting my health issues onto dirk gently and making lydia transgender and #giving everyone heebie jeebies and really Really fucking up the s1 plot structure #its about the general power and wonder and magic of literature and self-love #but yeah it is also about that au. for some reason over the past few months ive developed an Attachment towards it #i hope ill be able to write it... it Really wants to exist im not kidding

[stirringwinds]

While I feel that hws France is hard to portray I do wonder what headcanons you have for him. Care to tell a few that come to mind?

a lot of my headcanons of francis/françois are from the british imperial + sea/east asian perspective, so with that in mind, these are some thoughts i've had:

a. françois' strengths are that he can be very charming and good at putting people at ease. he is somebody, if you ran into him somewhere, just comes off as a really interesting person. he can talk for ages about his passion for philosophy, art, literature, science and cooking without it getting boring to the listener.

b. he can be a really good lover too and is that sort of person who considers it a point of pride to make his partners enjoy his company. the sort of person who will make dinner and probably also a good breakfast for you. but one of his flaws is that he can also be pretty self-centred at times, and sometimes he uses his charisma to get out of things or simply dodge issues in his personal relationships.

c. françois, much like arthur, is in the Bad Parent club vis a vis matthew in the 17—18th centuries. where they differ however, is i feel that arthur was controlling but more...present, whereas françois was more...dismissive. matthew would get letters from arthur instructing him to do this and that, which for matthew at least acknowledged him, whereas françois might just not even write to him much at all, especially after matthew came under arthur's control.

d. françois really clicked with alfred during the revolutionary war. it helped that alfred was punching arthur in the dick, but i think that françois for all his flaws, genuinely possesses a somewhat more idealistic streak (than say, arthur imo) so that gelled well with alfred spouting all kinds of enlightenment thoughts (especially since he was also reading french writers like Montesquieu).

e. françois and lien (vietnam) have a complicated (to say the least) relationship due to the history of french imperialism over vietnam; i see francis being much younger than her (she and yao are peers in age!), so lien fitted him very much into her prior experience as an older female nation being forced to deal with 'boys playing at being empires'. lien probably shot him in the face at least once during the first indochina war, that tried to re-establish colonial rule over vietnam in the 1950s. however, i do think they can talk more cordially in more recent decades, with normalisation of ties. cooking is perhaps one topic that is a common interest—vietnamese banh mi is a kind of sandwich originating from french baguettes that incorporates local ingredients, and it's a really tasty and popular streetfood. there's also a big french-vietnamese population in paris today.

f. kiku was absolutely not impressed by monet's la japonaise, nor 'madame chrysanthème', the wildly racist and orientalist mess that Madame Butterfly was based on. it was exoticising, not flattering to him—he was however, more amenable to those of françois' artists that incorporated japanese artistic techniques in more genuine ways, or with françois' own view of aesthetics and his knowledge and interest in engineering.

g. yao, much like kiku later, was someone françois was very interested in culturally—as seen from the boom in chinoiserie when trade with china began back in the 17th century. i think french is probably one of the first european languages yao learns (besides portuguese). it's a fairly functional trading relationship—until of course, french imperialist interests began expanding in yao's sphere of influence and the opium wars.

h. i'm a fruk fan so naturally i think his love-hate relationship with arthur is one of his most significant r/ships—arthur has been a neighbour, friend, enemy, lover and everything in between. but! scotfra is another very, very long-term relationship important to him (auld alliance!). also on an EU level well, there's him and ludwig too.

i. naturally, he's also fairly fashionable, and i feel like he'll always eye himself critically even if he's going out casually, compared to way i can see arthur being fairly chill about strolling out in that questionable, ill-fitting acid green christmas sweater alfred sent him as a joke once. i also think françois probably smokes a fair bit, compared to how arthur's gotten a kick in the arse to cut back after WWII. and nowadays, he'll often just be relaxing with a cigarette on the balcony of his apartment with a book, or enjoying a day out in one of his museums.

#hws france #hetalia #hws england #hws canada #hws vietnam #hws china #hws japan #hws scotland #hetalia headcanons

[hannahssimblr]

“...into the hedge man, the whole packet.”

“Wait, what, are you serious? Why did she do that?”

“Because she didn’t want Megan smoking them, or something. She said they made some promise not to.”

“Man, what the fuck, and did someone fish them out?”

I take a lazy bite of my boring lunch. Some chicken roll I bought down at the nearest deli. It’s a three euro deal for this and a can of coke, which I never drink. I’ll give it to Breener as usual. 

He’s speaking to me now, “Did you see this happen, Turner?”

“No,” Murphy interjects, smacking the back of his hand against the other boy’s chest, “Turner was up in Katie’s bedroom riding Alison the whole time.”

“Ohh, Alison…” All the guys start nudging each other and chortling into their sleeves, “Busy busy as usual… Man, Breener, did you see that Nick Dunne took a load of pictures of himself trying on a heap of bras from Katie’s sister's room? Aw, like, it was so funny like, we were all-”

I spy Jen coming out of the front entrance of the school and I quickly abandon the lads to jog over to her.

“What’s up Jenny?”

“Nothing much, Judie, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Hanging out with the rugby boys, I see. Discussing art history and literature as usual?”

I grin, “Not every conversation has to be all deep and intellectual, c’mon.”

“Well, whatever it was must have been so exciting, huh? Is that why you’ve legged it over to me as soon as I’ve appeared?”

“No, I just felt like having lunch with you today.”

She rolls her eyes and begins to stroll across the yard while I hope along in her trail, “Well I’m having lunch with Michelle and the horrible greasy emos by the back steps today, so fair warning.”

“That’s fine, I’ll come.”

She shrugs. 

“Where were you until now?”

“Counsellor.”

“Oh yeah? How’s it going?”

She sighs, “Okay. She keeps insisting I talk about my mother, for some reason, which, why would I want to do that? My mother is completely uninteresting… and she says I have to stop smoking weed, can you believe that?”

I blink, “Did you admit that you’re still smoking weed?”

“No! She just seems to know it, I don’t know, do I smell like it?”

I grab her arm and take a very un-subtle sniff of her blazer, “No, you smell like Jen.”

“Huh. Well maybe she has little creepy binoculars and she stands looking through the bars at me when I’m smoking in the park.”

“Yeah, that’s the most likely scenario.”

“I don’t know, sometimes it feels like a waste of time.”

“You don’t feel like it’s helping at all?”

“Helping what?”

I hesitate uncomfortably, “Um, well, you know, with your family and your mental health stuff and, like-”

“The drug stuff?” She finishes, “This horrible, problematic relationship I apparently have? No, firstly, I think I’m fine. Actually, I think you do drugs more than I do these days, and secondly, my mental health is okay. I’m getting through stuff on my own, I wish that they’d stop insisting I go to the sessions and wasting half of my lunch hour asking probing questions about what it was like for me to be a child.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s about the volume or the frequency of the drugs,” I say carefully, “I think it’s about your relationship with them.”

“Yeah, but there isn’t anything weird about my relationship with them. I’m the same as you, I can stop any time I like.”

I pull back as she’s using her agitated voice. Her nostrils are flared and her eyebrows are stitched together in the middle so that I can be aware that if I don’t stop trying to talk about this then she and I will have a bicker fest in the middle of the school yard. “Yeah you’re dead right. Sorry.”

“My friends are over here,” she jabs a thumb over her shoulder, “Are you coming or not?”

When we approach the emos they look perplexed, and they don’t need to say it, I can see it on their faces as they watch me make bold strides to join them on the steps. What is he doing here? 

I wedge myself between Evan and some girl with pink hair and a stud in each cheek like little metal dimples and then, ignoring the dark, hateful aura of the collective group I unwrap what’s left of my chicken roll and lay into it. “What’s up guys?” I say with a full mouth, “Hope it’s okay that I sit here.”

“Um, yeah,” Evan says. I don’t miss the look he exchanges with the pink haired girl on my other side, but I pretend to.

“Jude had enough of hanging out with the boys from his rugby team,” Jen explains, “So I invited him to sit with us,” The way she speaks to them is authoritative, with finality, as if she won’t hear anything else about the matter. She swiftly moves onto the next topic while I peer over my shoulder and wiggle my fingers at Michelle who smiles back and raises a limp hand in greeting.

“So Michelle and I were thinking about having a movie night, would you guys be up for it?”

A ripple of approval goes through the little group of stairway lurking emos. 

“I suggested Saturday,” Michelle says, “because it’s my parents' anniversary or some shit. They’re going out for dinner so we would have the whole place to ourselves.”

I can’t help but speak, “Wow, I thought you guys would be up to something more nefarious on a Saturday night than huddled up watching a movie together, honestly,” I’m not trying to be mean or anything, it’s an honest statement. It’s a bit hard for me to imagine this collection of misfits, all with at least one piece of metal in their face sitting around eating popcorn in the Tengu’s pastel blue living room. 

Jen is the only one that laughs, “Yeah, we occasionally take a break from sucking the blood of civilians to hang out and watch Sleepy Hollow. You’re invited, by the way, if you’re not doing whatever rugby wankers do, like tossing a frisbee around and doing jager bombs.”

“I am?”

“Yeah, I wasn't going to sit here and make plans in front of your face otherwise.”

Jen is the only one that looks comfortable with this decision, so I’m on the point of telling her that I’ve already made plans to try and blag my way into another city centre nightclub before I realise how repelled I am by that very idea. I consider those sticky floors and the bad music, the hangover I’ll have and eventually I think about Doherty and the inevitable horrors he’ll inflict upon me if I don’t get back into shape. Suddenly a film with the emos doesn’t seem like the worst way to spend a Saturday night. 

“Okay, yeah. I’d love to come.”

Evan glances at me incredulously but I just smile in response and bump him with my shoulder, “We’ll have fun, right?”

He flashes the ghost of a smile,  “Yeah, I suppose.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #tw: drugs #tw: mental health

[philhoffman]

Loving Phil comes as easily to me as breathing. Easier, sometimes. From the first moment we met through the screen. Much like Paul Thomas Anderson, I saw PSH make a single gesture—a little smirk, barely able to restrain his soft smile, intelligent and warm—and fell in love with him. Or, more accurately, I saw him and was overcome by the feeling he was special, that he would be an important person in my life. And now here we are.

I’ve found myself saying the same thing a lot lately—“There are no words,” or something to that effect. The enormity of Phil’s loss, his absence over the last 10 years, is mind-boggling. It’s crushing. There are many great works of art and music and literature and film about grief and loss, warnings about what pain this intense could feel like, but even the masters can only capture a fleeting moment of it. It truly exists beyond words. 

Equally impossible to capture in words is the good, the beautiful, the glimmers of hope and love. It's often beyond mere glimmers—seeing the world through Phil's eyes is a sledgehammer of life. For a few years I've kept a notebook just for my thoughts to him. I was thumbing through it last night and read an entry in which I said the enormity of the happiness I felt since he entered my life was unlike anything I'd experienced before. It's far beyond a crush on an actor, lol. It's—words are failing me—absolutely everything. His films, his soul, his eyes, his community, all the words, the way he's shaped how I see my life, my relationships, my future, my world. I can't overstate it, really. He's stitched into the fabric now, the blood in my veins, his heart beating in my chest, arm around my shoulder. The most important artist and person I've ever known.

So there won’t ever be enough words to fully capture what every frame, every laugh, every freckle, every moment means—but there are a couple words that say enough for now, tonight, 10 years after Phil’s death. Like—I love you. Like—I miss you and I’m sorry and 46 is so, so young. Like—every night and every day, somewhere in the world, someone is watching one of your film’s and laughing or crying or raging or smiling along with you. You said you hoped the art would outlive you, outlive all of us, and it does, it will, and you’re always part of it and with us and remembered.

Like—now having the privilege to know your wonderful family and community, it’s easy to see how you turned out to be such a kind, thoughtful man and generous, passionate artist. Their refrain is true—great actor, even better friend.

Like—countless individuals are in recovery and alive because of you, whether they’re 10 years or 100 days or 1 hour sober. The support you offered friends and strangers during your life, the impact of your death from a drug overdose—I can’t begin to guess how many people you helped, how many even I've spoken to who credit you with helping to save their lives.

What I'm writing now is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to say in my life, I can't stop tearing up. I hope I get it right. This is the 10th anniversary of Phil's death—his life is now a decade away from us in the past, a milestone I've been dreading, a reality that shocks and breaks my heart.

Grief is timeless and endless. There are moments when it hurts just as badly as that first day. But with time, hopefully, that most intense pain bubbles up less often. It comes up on anniversaries, special occasions, when the sunlight and the breeze hit you just right, when little signs and reminders show up—but not every day. I think that's healthy. When I was relatively new to this loss, the pain fresh but I was deep, deep within it, I used to think, "How did anyone who loved him survive? Why aren't we all screaming all the time?" I understand now. Today I fell to the floor and cried and screamed about it—yesterday, too—but I don't every day, not anymore.

The grief is ever-present but it changes. The change hurts. It can feel like a betrayal, like guilt, like abandonment. That's the season of grief I'm in, weird complicated emotions I'm struggling with. I've felt it in my gut ahead of this anniversary and kept it bottled up so tightly, ashamed. "Letting go" are the words that kept coming to mind, but I fucking hate that phrase. I'm not letting go of anything. But tonight I heard from two of the people closest to Phil, who both shared the same feeling that this year is different. That maybe Phil is telling us that it's okay to move forward—not move on, move forward—and find new ways to love and honor and remember him. Let go of the ways that aren't serving us or him anymore. There will always be new ones. He is buried so deep in our hearts, in who we are, that we could never be separated—we will always find him.

In a way, a weight is lifted off my chest. In another way, I've been crying so hard I'm going to be sore tomorrow. Nothing is going to change in my day-to-day, I think. I can't even imagine what would. But this is a new step of our journey, I can feel it in my chest. Of my journey, at least. I'm terrified and hopeful and so, so, so deeply in love and in gratitude with this incredible, larger-than-life, beautiful force of a human who changed the world—the whole world, and my world. Blessed doesn't begin to cover how I feel knowing my life is tied to his, that I'll be learning from him for the rest of my days. I'm still beyond devastated his were cut short so soon.

I love you, Phil. The man, the spirit. Nothing else matters more than that. I love you.

(Oh, and I'll always buy the donuts. For you, for us. Always. I promise.)

#a decade? it's only time. we're still closer than ever #* #angel of the cosmos #I may not be able to respond right away I think I'm going to sleep for three days #but I am here to talk. if anyone wants to. I promise I'll get back to you as soon as I can

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim #41: The Contents of Several Unopened Envelopes Delivered to Kane de Sang

Masterlist

content: vampire whumpee, angst / emotional whump, discussion of abusive relationship

beginning takes place a few days after Clean Break.

-

Dear Kane,

I’ve moved into my own house. It feels strange, living in a house by myself. It’s quiet. Not that my family home was loud, but there were people. Now there’s no Father, no Mother, no sisters, no servants. No you. Just me.

I’m not alone, of course. I’ve talked to you about my other friends before. They’ve been marvelously helpful, Sylvia especially. I know I’ve said this before, but I think you would like them all. I know they would like you, too, as long as you don’t say anything rude. As always, if you ever want to meet them, let me know.

I’m sure you’ve heard all about the disaster of my eighteenth birthday party, though you didn’t attend. I thought Father might faint. You should have seen the look on his face when I told everyone, it was glorious! He was even more upset than you were.

I know you said not to read your letter, but I did. I apologize. For the record, my answer is a resounding YES. Should you still like to move in with me, nothing would make me happier. I know it was a rather big fight, but you’re my best friend. We’ve made it through worse, have we not?

My new address is attached for you to reply. You don’t need to put a name on the envelope, if you want to keep it a secret. That way your parents wouldn’t know who you’re sending it to.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Dear Kane,

We haven’t seen each other in the longest we’ve ever gone without, I believe. Unless you count the just-shy-of-a-year between my birth and yours. If you sent along a reply to my last letter, I’m afraid it was lost in the mail before it could make its way to me. Or perhaps my own letter was the one that was lost. Though I understand it’s far more likely you simply didn’t reply, just in case, I shall repeat the most important point: I’ve read your letter, my answer is YES.

I’ve managed to acquire ethically-sourced blood. I must admit it is not the most delectable, as you’d predicted, due to the considerable distance it must travel from an area with more amicable interspecies relations. However, such is a small price to pay in order to sustain myself in a way that does not harm others.

I’ve been wondering what you’ve been up to since I left. I think about you quite a lot. Honestly, you’re the only one I still think about, although it’s only been a month. I’d be happy if I never spoke to Father again. I’ve an urge to go back under the cover of day, with one of those full-coverage suits and a large brimmed hat, just to throw garish paint over his house. But I know you would say this is improper and irresponsible behavior, so I will make an effort to restrain myself.

I miss you.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Dear Kane,

I kissed a man.

I don’t know why I’m telling you. It’s been three months and you haven’t replied, so it’s unlikely you’ll respond to this one either. But you would have been the first one I’d tell if things were still like before, so I felt as though I have to. I won’t bore you with the details, but it was nice. I thought you’d like to know, maybe.

We’re not courting. It’s different out here in the real world. You’re allowed to just try things out. The nobility is properly cultish in ways, quite honestly. I think you would like the real world a lot if you gave it a try. My offer still stands. My answer is still yes.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Dear Kane,

I really miss you. I was thinking about it and decided I must write you another letter. I know you were always the one more inclined toward mathematics in our studies, and I’ve taken a page out of your book. Doing the proper research and all. Were you aware that there is a 0.0027% chance that all three of my letters were lost in the mail? I must say, my academic interests still tend toward art and literature, but probability can be fascinating in certain scenarios, when it matters. Not that it matters, as I’m no longer a schoolboy. I’m an adult now. Only 5 months until you are as well!

I was wondering how you were doing. Are you planning on taking a human? No one expects you to have to do that, you’re aware. It’s dangerous due to your condition. I don’t mean this in a condescending way, you know I would never. I simply worry for your safety. Humans have upped their defenses in recent years. I’ve never taken one, and in half a year I’ve managed to make a nice life for myself. You could too, if you wanted.

You know I don’t agree with human-keeping. But if you do, please be safe.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Dear Kane,

Happy birthday!

I couldn’t not send a letter, even if you won’t send one back. Congratulations on coming of age. I’m otherwise strictly not in contact with my family, but I asked Katarina just because I was concerned, and she said that you do not plan on taking a human. It’s for the best, really. You don’t need that. Your parents are even bigger pricks than my own, somehow.

She also told me there will be no celebration, despite the milestone. I know how crushing that must be for you, especially as I’m not even there for our usual bash with just the two of us. I want you to know that my door is always open to you. I will be sure to be home on the eve of your eighteenth. I’m hoping this letter arrives a few days before then. Should you like, you can stop by and we can celebrate.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Kane de Sang

🎊 You have been cordially invited to Bellamy Verta’s 19th birthday! 🎊

Flip this card for time, date, and location information.

-

Dear Kane,

I know by now that you don’t read these, but I’ve found myself in a bit of an uncomfortable situation, and I’m desperate for your advice. You always gave the best advice, before. Or you usually did. Sylvia says I need to stop writing to you because I’m only hurting myself, but she doesn’t know you. She would like you if she knew you like I do.

I started seeing someone several months ago. My third relationship now, actually. Quite a lot has happened since my last letter. I am proud to now call myself experienced in the art of homosexual activity!

Anyhow, regarding the matter at hand. Henry is a lovely person who I get on with quite well. He reminds me of you in some ways. However, lately he has been acting differently. To put it bluntly, he has become violent with me on multiple occasions. But then afterwards, he’s always back to his normal, kind self again, and I’m all healed by the next night. All my other friends are telling me to break it off, but he’s not always like this. Only sometimes. And other than that, he’s perfect. But it has been more often as of late. It’s hard to explain it all in a letter. If you are in fact reading these, would you be willing to meet and catch up?

I can picture it now. You would shake me by the shoulders and demand I come to my well-lacking senses. Or perhaps you would complicate matters by exchanging blows with him. I don’t think you would be pleased with the situation. But I believe this can be salvaged, if only I can find the right thing to say to him to make him understand that this is frightening me.

I’m also curious as to what you’ve been up to. I miss you.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Dear Kane,

Maybe you do read these. I’m unsure. I thought I’d send along an update, just in case you are reading and not responding. I know you would have been worried about me if that was the case. I did end up breaking things off with Henry. He did not react well, but it’s over now.

I’m still interested in catching up, should you like to. I apologize if that was too much to put on you. We aren’t even really friends anymore, I suppose. But I’d like to be again.

Despite that bump, things have been pretty wonderful. There are so many things I wish I could share with you. I think you would be really happy here, if you gave it a chance.

7.29e-8%, otherwise known as 0.0000000729%. I think the point at which they start introducing “e” to mathematics is when the whole subject becomes truly irredeemable.

Yours truly, Bellamy Verta

-

Dear Kane,

I anticipate that this will be my last letter. Unless you respond, of course.

There will always be room in my heart for you. I would not be the person I am today without your friendship. But I have a new life now, a far better life than I did before, even if there are still troubles. And, though supportive, my friends are tired of hearing my heart ache for you. I find myself agreeing with them. I’m tired of it, too. It’s been a year and a half.

I wish nothing but the best for you, always. My door is always open to you should you change your mind and decide to get in contact. If I ever have a change-of-address, I shall send notice by mail, so you will be able to reach me.

I suppose this is goodbye. I would rewrite this on paper clear of teardrop stains, but I sincerely doubt you’ll be reading this anyway, so I shall leave it as-is.

I always loved you. I still do.

Bellamy Verta

-

drabbles posted between #40 and #41:

Accident (Epilogue #1.5)

taglist:

@annablogsposts

@badluck990

@barebarb

@ceph-the-writing-spook

@cicatrix-energy

@crying-wings

@crystalquartzwhump

@cupcakes-and-pain

@cyberneticfire

@darlingwhump

@deluxewhump

@down-in-the-whumps

@elrysdoesstuff

@emcscared-whumps

@extemporary-whump

@extrabitterbrain

@harri-00

@iamtheshriekingguineapig

@icyheart-and-friends

@inpainandsuffering

@interdimensional-chaos

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast

@lactose-intolerant-egg

@lilac-and-lemon-whumps

@littlespacecastle

@little-whumpee

@lost-in-labradorite-halls

@magziemakeswhatever

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@morning-star-whump

@myhusbandsasemni

@mylifeisonthebookshelf

@neverthelass

@nicolepascaline

@nine-tailed-whump

@no-terms-and-conditions-apply

@not-a-space-alien

@octopus-reactivated

@oddsconvert

@onlybadendings

@owencarvourenthusiast

@pigeonwhumps

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@quietly-by-myself

@quirkykayleetam

@ramadiiiisme

@redwhump

@scp-1296

@secretwhumplair

@the-whumperfly-effect

@the-whumpers-grimm

@thecyrulik

@thegreatwhodini

@themarlo

@thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight

@t0rture-me

@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff

@whump-blog-reblogs

@whump-cravings

@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

@whump-me-all-night-long

@whump-my-heart-away

@whump-queen

@whumperfully

@whumpthisway

@whumpilicious

@whumpshaped

@whumpwillow

@whumpworld

@whumpy-writings

@whumpycries

@whumpyzombie

@whumpzone

@wits-and-wrongs

@wolfeyedwitch

#kane and jim #whump #my writing #vampire whumpee #angst #emotional whump #whump writing

[xx-vergil-xx]

god Verg I love a Structure so much, it’s gonna be “despicite, dei, gaudete” for the WIP game & I would love to hear more about the said structure if you feel like sharing it!

hello!! an excuse to talk about my project? yes please thank you <3

so it’s three “layers” which are entangled (maybe laced is a better word — i’m still ironing out final structural presentation, but the core is there)

1. sopwith, a book published in 1950 about pilots in WWI — aiming for an american modernism style, steinbeck influences (god i love steinbeck) with a dash of the faintly surreal, though i wouldn’t call it experimental. presented in standard book style, not terribly long

2. the life of sopwith’s author, who was himself a pilot in the second war, discharged after a serious plane crash — sopwith is published after his stint in the air force and he spends the last six years of his life in a new york hotel (based on the chelsea) obsessively redrafting a second edition of sopwith and filling a horde of journals, which themselves are published 50 years later as an academic text (though the second edition of sopwith never sees the light of day). told in journal passages

3. the efforts of a lit studies doctorate to piece together what it was sopwith’s revised version (never published) was really trying to say while she struggles with her own psychiatric health and her relationship to literature and the world at large. told in footnotes on sopwith, journals, and letters to her brother.

that’s the simplest sort of breakdown — the lit. studies doctorate ends up living in the same hotel the author lived in while she’s working and enters a psychological spiral where she becomes entangled with those last years of the author’s life and the thing he was trying to excise via his book, so the lines get a little blurry as the whole thing progresses. there are lots of throughlines about doubling/communication/the effort of people to corral the world with the written word/etc — inspired a lot by jorge luis borges and also house of leaves. i’m still in the glorious haze of Throw It All On The Page so i expect there’ll be some. refinements? (please god)

despicite, dei, gaudete is the first thing the author ever wrote and published — it’s a novella about an odd family myth a grandmother is telling her grandson, but taking a borges tact what we read instead of the actual novella is the lit doctorate’s essay about it, an excerpt from the middle of which i shall offer you here :)

thanks much for the ask my friend <3 <3

The seemingly obvious moral is twofold: old gods are infinitely cruel, and splitting up in strange forests is a terrible idea (a fact any B-list horror film will readily remind us of). Little chou hears this story, and when the telling of it is over, we discover that chou is now an old man, telling the tale to his granddaughter, and we have been hearing the telling of a telling, itself impressed upon by dimly-recalled circumstance and the erosion of an old man’s memory. Now we see why the impressions of intermediate narrative — a family dinner, a bedtime, a certain firelit drawing room — are so loosely sketched, so half-filled and yet so elemental. They are the memories of a child.

Most take Despicite as Witten’s first establishment of in loco, absentia on the basis of the fact that the real narrative concealed within is the life of chou, understood to us by the particularity of the details he does remember: his mother’s hand vividly recalled, posed mid-stir over a soup pot, thought by many to imply both her early death and chou’s pursuit of the culinary arts; the flames in the hearth and the strange vision chou has of the stones blackened, suggesting at one time that the house burned down; chou’s exquisite ekphrasis of the ceiling in his childhood bedroom, so vivid one cannot help but think that this is where we find him now, perhaps confined to the same quarters he slept in as a child, an old man at the end of his life. Legion readers have pointed out the obvious Biblical influences, the echoes of Cain and Abel (raised as a Protestant in his hometown of Valentine, Nebraska, it’s no small wonder that Witten’s works tend to touch on Christian themes). The first brother, killed and then dismantled by the second, plays our ready Abel, and the second our more hapless Cain, whose inciting sin is perhaps his abandonment of his brother to the dark wood in pursuit of his own reckless belief. He then attempts to “hide” his sin by rectifying it, collecting his brother in an attempt to reverse his transformation into earth. It’s no great leap. Our Cain, of course, is not condemned to wander, but instead condemned to a miserable stasis, from which he similarly does not escape.

#writing #fiction #god only knows #i’m having so much fun writing all this nonsense and i expect it’ll carry me through the next several months #vergil says hello #vergil says things #thanks very much for stopping by and indulging me my friend <3 #<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[fireheartwraith]

Someone accused me of being a hater and that pissed me off so here are all of my thoughts on the Netflix Avatar The Last Airbender live action series. What I liked, didn't like, what I'm worried about or hoping going foward, etc, in no particular order because I was just hate typing. I tried to separate my rambling into topics, but I did that after I had already typed everything. Enjoy

Zuko and Zhao:

I liked most of the fire nation characters. Zhao took some getting used to, but it was a fun new take on the character. I loved Zuko's crew and Azula's scenes. I really hate what they did with the agni kai and Zhao's death though, it really feels like they missed what those scene's meant for Zuko's character. Everyone already said all there is to say about why having Zuko fight back is a stupid idea so I won't comment on it, but having Iroh kill Zhao also pissed me off. He's supposed to die because of his own arrogance and greed and Zuko is supposed to try and help him because he's the type of person who would offer a helping hand to an enemy, despite his father's attempts at beating the kindness out of him.

Ozai:

I like what they are doing to Ozai, it could be interesting and add depth to the character, I just think it would be less ooc it those moments of doubt and "weakness" were in private? Like, in public, he is always this perfect façade but in private, the mask starts to slip away. But I think they’re going for that, so that's okay. It also adds dimension to his relationship with Azula since she also dons a mask of perfection, and this shows that she learned that with him.

Azula:

Speaking of Azula, I'm a bit worried because since we already sympathize with her, she could not be as menacing and intimidating a villain, but I hope it will work out.

Iroh:

I'm really 50/50 on Iroh. I like his interactions with Zuko, but why was he out there spewing fire nation propaganda and justifying his war crimes. My dude, what the hell.

Katara:

I really hate what they did to Katara and Suki. Let me punch someone. I won’t say much because everyone else has already exhausted this point, but yeah. Katara is so much more than a bender and a little sister. Her mother's death didn't just affect her bending, it changed everything in her life. She had to become her mother and take care of her brother when she was so young, she’s kind, caring, and a little overbearing at times. But she’s also prideful, jealous, stubborn, and has a bit a temper. She's not a perfect girl who smiles softly at the world around her. She's angry at what happened to her, she’s resourceful, she's funny, she's dedicated. This show's Katara is a bender, and that's it. And she's a prodigy at it, became a master all by herself because she don't need no man, no sir. Because #feminism is when your female protagonist is relegated to side character with no flaws apparently.

Suki:

And Suki, oh Suki... what did they do to you? Ah yes, cartoon Sokka is sexist, so instead of having him go through character growth spurred on by getting his ass beat by a girl, we'll just make that girl instantly fall in love with him and have an ungodly amount of sexual tension just so she and the audience can ogle at this shirtless man for a good thirty seconds. Yes, that's much better and not sexist at all!!

Sokka:

I like how they are focusing on Sokka's intelligence and other ways to be a hero since I've always loved that detail of his character (i seriously love when in modern aus he's studying engineering, bonus if he has a minor in arts and literature), but considering he *does* become a skilled warrior I fear this plot thread may not payoff. Like "you don't need to be a warrior to be a hero!! But here's some swordbending lessons just in case" is weird. Similar to that is what happened in the cave of two lovers: changing the answer to the riddle was stupid. It makes no sense in the lore AND makes Sokka look dumb. Couldn't he at least be the one to figure it out? The sibling moment was cute though.

Katara and Aang:

What bothers me most (after what they did to my poor girls) is that the gaang don't feel like friends, much less a found family. Katara isn't Aang's earthly attachment. If they wanted to start the romance when they look closer in age that's fine, but they could still be friends? I mean, they tell us they're friends and very important to each other, but are they? They went on a trip together and talked a couple of times. Katara should have broken him out of the iceberg on purpose because it not only shows how she disregards her own safety to help those in need, it is the inciting incident of the show and should be more than an accident. Again, she’s supposed to be a protagonist, the story is supposed to be told through HER. She's the one who should do the intro!! Not Kyoshi, Gyatso and Gran Gran.

She should teach Aang waterbending. This is Book 1: Water, why isn't that boy waterbending. That would further both the plot and their relationship. Which is supposed to be a cornerstone of the show, mind you. And I'm not saying "relationship" as in a romantic one. They should be friends, confide in one another, Katara should calm him down when he enters the Avatar state because this shows how important they are to one another. Gyatso's memory being what calms him down is cute, but if it impacts what is, again, a main plot point of the show (Katara is Aang's earthlyattachment), they shouldn’t do it. Also, Aang should have tried to firebend and accidently burned Katara. This way, Katara learns she can heal (which again is super important. Anyone remember the season 2 finale?) it also causes Aang to block out his firebending out of fear of hurting others again. WHICH IS ALSO A MAJOR PLOT POINT. Give me back Kataang, the show literally isn't the same without them.

Also, much time did the three of them spend together as a crew? Not that much, I feel like. Where's my found family?

Jet:

There are some things that I deeply miss, like Sokka's argument with Jet about the old man. The cartoon is very anti violence, it is definitely its thesis. We can discuss wether they are right or not forever, but the show is arguing that even though the fire nation citizens in the earth kingdom are living in a settler colony that serves the imperialist agenda, they are still citizens and killing them is wrong. This confrontation is so important for both Sokka and Jet's characters, and turning Jet into a terrorist feels like a betrayal of his character. And no, armed resistance like what the freedom fighters do isn't terrorism, regardless of whether or not it's morally right.

Missed theme:

The other thing I miss is Teo, his dad, and the other refugees being in an air temple. It adds a lovely grey area to the whole thing. Aang is pissed off that a sacred ancestral home of his people has been invaded and partially destroyed by machines (which also serves as commentary on industrialization and how historical sites are torn down to build skyscrapers and factories irl. We come back to the industrialization theme that the fire nation brings to the table multiple times, but a really obvious exemple is the painted lady episode in the third season), but also the people doing it are refugees running from an imperialist and genocidal army.

I think they saw the obvious parallels between the cartoon themes and real-world shit happening right now and decided to sanitize it lest they piss someone off with politics. Which ended up pissing me off.

The bending:

The visual effects where fine. Sometimes the humans ragdoll a bit too much, but that always happens. The bending looks good, but the firebenders attacking the monks in the beginning look just as powerful as eveyone else when they should be op because of the comet. The comet doesn't look thag much of a threat right now. Also in the cartoon is implied that Gyatso suffocated like twenty firebenders and himself as his final act, which is much more badass than what we got.

The creatures:

The creature design is very good, specially the ones supposed to look scary, because even the ones supposed to look cute look kind of scary here. Can you imagine anh child buying a live action Appa plushie? Because I can't. I also wish we got to see more of Appa and Aang's relationship. I understand it's probably expensive as fuck to animate, but we need them to be buddies. Remember, we have the lost Appa acr next season.

Script:

The acting is... fine. I just laughed when Aang turned to the camera and started to monologue about his personality, but that’s more on the script than on the actor. Speaking of which: oh god, please stop explaining every lore detail three times in expository dialogue. Sometimes, it's okay to tell not show (pacing, establishing worldbuilding, etc. It's why the cartoon intro exists!) but must you do it every time? And then repeat it??

Costume:

The score is obviously great, and the set design is good. Costume, makeup, and hair sometimes are iffy, but that’s because some things will never look good in live action. Yue will always look more like cosplay instead of a real person, I guess (I still think they could have just tried a very light blond wig or gotten an albino actress or something, but whatever). Wish Zuko's scar was looked more like a burn scar and less like a black eye. The clothes looked good, just a bit too "new" looking. Show me some dirt! They always look more conving when they get dirty and bloody.

They have points to improve upon, but overall, it's fun enough to watch on a weekend. But alas, the original is always better (not perfect, just better)

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of aang #atla #netflix avatar #netflix atla #atla zuko #atla zhao #atla ozai #atla azula #atla iroh #atla aang #atla katara #atla sokka #atla suki #atla jet #long post #live action atla

[ilostmydiary]

Miller's Girl Review

It's a Tumblr movie. I'm really not even joking when I say, it's like the writer scrolled through TC Tumblr, compiled all the aesthetic pictures and flipped through a thesaurus. Actually, even that feels a bit Tumblr-y. That's not to say it was distinctly bad. It was very pretty to look at, and the music was fun. Very atmospheric and tense up until the halfway point. There's a buildup and very fast crash "back to reality" after the climax (pun intended) of the film. I'm going to give my analysis of the two main problems of the film, and how to enjoy it regardless.

Problems:

The movie kept forgetting it was set in a high school, so should have just been a college movie. I understand that it's more illicit and taboo if it's a high school senior and a professor, but they go out of their way to remind you she's an adult and put her in classrooms that look oddly college-like (like a small liberal arts college). I could very easily imagine this being a small seminar class for dedicated literature students. This would be a more competitive group, and would make sense for her to have read all the course material before the class starts ( don't remember even our best students doing that for high school and I was in a very competitive academic programme). And this would make more sense for Cairo's whole, '"I live alone in my big ancestral mansion, where my parents are never around," and "I've seen my prof in non-academic settings." It's a bit less common, but students and teachers have been known to run into each other in smaller college towns, I've known profs who openly meet students outside of the classroom, in tangentially academic settings.

Cairo's whole scorned lover routine doesn't make any sense. But it's clearly the part of the film the writer feels most strongly about. It's supposed to be an "oh shit" moment. But falls flat really quickly because it demands you to believe the character that had been fairly nice and level-headed for most of the story turns on a head at a moment's notice. She turns against her friend, against the person she has a crush on, and becomes very cold and distant. Cairo begins the story, eager to please, and led by her friend Winnie. She adores her professor, obviosuly. But then bizarrely hands in erotic fanfiction about her and her teacher. She says "You erase the lines then get shocked when I cross one without knowing." But Cairo... you're still a student, regardless of what relationship you think you both have, on what planet would handing in erotica be appropriate at the high school level. So either you have to believe she was blind to the consequences of her piece, or she knew all along and wanted a way to test and punish her teacher. Either she's distinctly naive and in love and then distinctly and suddenly conniving and purposeful, or she's been planning his downfall from the beginning. Neither of these are satisfying or realistic character arcs. Especially for a high school senior. The author doesn't seem to have compassion for Cairo as a naive subject, a young adult overcome in a taboo situation. So it feels as though she's supposed to be a villain, not merely naive.

Maybe the last point could have been fixed if it was only implied that she was purposefully vindictive if the first half of the movie was from her perspective and the second half was from Mr. Miller's where we only get his belief in her cruelty, rather than the truth of it. I think that may have fixed the movie. But it would take away the "he's a coward and he needs to be punished for being mediocre" evil villain speech.

How to enjoy:

Just pretend Cairo is a university/ College student. It just makes more sense for the plot, there are only a few moments that even feel very "high school" and only because of the background. Even Winnie working in a restaurant feels very college-y. It just makes more sense in that setting.

Embrace the TC Tublr-ness of it all. I keep saying in all my reviews that it feels like something I would have written at 16. I have such a hard time believing the writer of the movie came up with the idea for it anywhere after high school. It's like she had a really cool idea and then just held on to it for years. So just go back into that headspace, and enjoy the cringe of it.

#tc blog #tcc #male tc #tcc thoughts #teacher crush #miller's girl #jenna ortega #martin freeman #movie review #movies #film #film review #millers girl

[hekateinhell]

Hello! Just a humble question, if you'd like to answer, I would love to hear your opinion! So: from an artistic point of view, or a writers point of view, what *exactly* makes Devil's Minion so good? Is it the fact that it is so brief? All that is left unsaid? The topic itself? Daniel's voice? The settings? The fantasy? When I first read it, it had such an effect on me, and it has become one of my favourite stories, ever. Yet, if I would want to explain exactly why I wouldn't really now how.

Hi! ❤️

I had to think about this one for a few days if I wanted to answer more than just: "Yes, all of that, everything!" Which I will now attempt to do.

For me, what first struck my fancy was how perfectly Anne captured the dynamic between a vampire (the predator) and a human (the natural prey). This isn't a YA story of the pure, innocent virgin being seduced by the big bad vampire.

We can't really say it's a realistic portrayal since these are obviously fictional monsters--but I feel like there are so many mundane (even conventional) elements that serve to contrast and emphasize the impossible nature of their relationship.

They go to the opera! They watch TV! They take college classes and go to parties together! They fight and make up and feel bad when the other is hurting!

In New York they went tearing to museum openings, cafes, bars, adopted a young dancer, paying all his bills through school. They sat on the stoops in SoHo and Greenwich Village whiling the hours away with anybody who would stop to join them. They went to night classes in literature, philosophy, art history, and politics. They studied biology, bought microscopes, collected specimens. They studied books on astronomy and mounted giant telescopes on the roofs of the buildings in which they lived for a few days or a month at most. They went to boxing matches, rock concerts, Broadway shows.

At the same time, there's very much this persistent Eldritch horror undertone throughout, and it's part of the romance. Daniel loved the evil and darkness he perceived as being part of his lover's predatory nature, and he craved it for himself because he lacked the ability to comprehend the price that came with being such a creature (which, I mean--given Armand's history and everything he'd witnessed--of course, he would want to spare him that!).

Daniel stared hard at the creature before him, this thing that looked human and sounded human but was not. There was a horrid shift in his consciousness; he saw this being like a great insect, a monstrous evil predator who had devoured a million human lives. And yet he loved this thing. He loved its smooth white skin, its great dark brown eyes. He loved it not because it looked like a gentle, thoughtful young man, but because it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time. He loved it the way people love evil, because it thrills them to the core of their souls. Imagine, killing like that, just taking life any time you want it, just doing it, sinking your teeth into another and taking all that that person can possibly give.

Anne was also extremely intentional in establishing the S&M power dynamics between Armand and Daniel and how it all played out.

The ten-year relationship between Armand and Daniel is the epitome of the fluctuations of dominance and submission. Each struggles for both surrender and control. Armand likes to be dominated and wants a teacher, although he is in fact a powerful vampire who can torment and even kill Daniel at will. When Daniel feels strong, he walks away from the relationship, but inevitably he disintegrates and surrenders to Armand, who is always ready to come and get him. They play a game, for each has something the other wants. Daniel describes himself as a mortal slave, the "devil's minion," but Armand is as much a slave to him.

The culminating scene in the Villa of the Mysteries expresses this, for when Armand finally yields and makes Daniel a vampire, he gives up his masterful position. He gives in to what Daniel wants. The S&M relationship shifts. It is while in the state of surrender that Armand performs the Dark Trick.

[X]

Further, she said that it was writing Armand with Daniel that changed how she saw Armand's character: "He'd been a horrible person in [IWTV] but I think he's a good person with Daniel. I loved his affair with Daniel." I adore that, and it shines through in the text. Anne was all about humanizing the vampire, and that's exactly what Daniel did in loving Armand and in being loved by him in return.

Ugly fights, terrible fights, finally, Armand broken down, glassy-eyed with silent rage, then crying softly but uncontrollably as if some lost emotion had been rediscovered which threatened to tear him apart. “I will not do it, I cannot do it. Ask me to kill you, it would be easier than that. You don’t know what you ask for, don’t you see? It is always a damnable error! Don’t you realize that any one of us would give it up for one human lifetime?

As far as I know, there's nothing quite like Devil's Minion within the vampire literary genre. It is as realistic a depiction of a real-word type human/vampire relationship as you can get.

I do agree that it being such a short chapter probably does play a part! Anne didn't have a chance to fuck it up and just about every sentence is loaded with information that tells us so much about those two, separate and together (I'm compiling a list because it's ridiculous). And yet, yes, there's still so much left unsaid. It haunts me.

#that was such a great question thank you for asking it and i hope i somewhat answered! #vc #you ask and hekate answers #daniel molloy #armand #armand/daniel #mildly meta

[riki-soba]

you're late,

p: park sunghoon x gn!reader | wc: 0.8k | g: fluff, established relationship, high school!au, | w: none! | nets + taglist: @kflixnet @k-radio @enhypenwriters @ficscafe + @soobin-chois

Your bed had felt a little too comfortable that morning. You wondered why for a moment, but given that your alarm hadn’t gone off yet, you assumed you woke up a little earlier than usual and elected to use the remaining time to do something completely and reasonably responsible: sleep in.

It’s until you take a look at your screen when you realize you’re fashionably late for school. Fashionably translates into extremely.

“Shit,” Cursing, you rush out of your thick, cozy, dangerously inviting covers and head to your wardrobe to fetch your school uniform. You’re careful to stay quiet— you don’t want your parents knowing you haven't headed off to school yet. As you thrash on your uniform shirt, you wonder how you’ll sneak out the door with a pit in your stomach.

Stupid alarm. Stupid inescapable bed. Stupid show your stayed up for. Stupid unhealthy sleep schedule- stupid everything.

You feel a slight need to cry out in frustration when your socks just won’t slip onto your feet, but you scream into a pair of your basketball shorts that lay on the ground instead, muffling it for your sake.

In a fervent manner, you hurry to your– now clothed in socks– feet and chuck whatever books that lay on your desk into your bag in a swift motion, zipping your pack up and careless of whatever damage you could cause.

Now standing in front of your door, your hand hovers over your doorknob, though you can’t seem to bring yourself to twist it open. Your fingers still and feel the cold material of the knob, calming yourself from your previous frenzy. The door towers menacingly over you, as if taunting you to open up and be scolded.

You can hear your parents’ voices, tones unsuspecting of their child still in their room and assuming that they’re off to school already, as usual.

An obnoxious amount of knocks cause you to shrug your shoulders up, startled as you turn towards your window.

Park Sunghoon peeks over your window sill, not able to contain the little chuckle that bubbles out his throat at the sight of the bewildered expression you give him. He waves you over, gesturing to open your window.

“Park Sunghoon,” You say— or rather, seethed in the most friendly way— as you open the window as requested. “What are you doing? Are you standing on my fence? You’re crazy!”

Your boyfriend, ignoring your small scoldings, leans up and kisses your cheek. “You’re late.” He mumbles against the hot skin of your cheek. At your lack of response, he opens his arms, “C’mon. I got you, but I can’t promise you we’ll be the quietest.”

“Did you skip first period? Did you skip literature?”

“Uh, yeah.” He says as if it were the most obvious thing. “You didn’t think I’d let you be late yourself, did you?”

You pause, though, and take a moment to process that your boyfriend, the top student of Decelis High with an outstanding status of 100% presence and no chance of tardiness, had skipped the first period to fetch you. His laid-back, impetuous and playful significant other. It’s all the more shocking when you realize his favorite period is literature.

“Sorry in advance,” You mumble sheepishly, climbing out your window with the help of his supporting hand pressed against the small of your back. Wrapping a cautious arm around the boy’s shoulders, you slide your window back closed as quietly as you can, releasing a breath of relief you hadn't realized you’d held in when nothing seems to have gone wrong.

“You’re lucky I wasn’t feeling too romantic today,” Comments Sunghoon cheekily as he helps you land on your feet. “What?” You answer, cocking a raised brow at him. He lands beside you, taking your backpack from your hold and slinging it over his shoulder, “I’d have thrown these pebbles right here and shouted, ‘Where art thou, my love?’” He kicks the pebbles under the sole of his worn out shoes and you can’t help but send him a deadpan.

“I’m glad you didn’t break my window, if that’s what you want to hear.” You quip, patting his shoulder and dragging him along the narrow path that leads to the back, where you tend to sneak out. Sunghoon fakes a groan in the midst of his laugh, ruffling your hair.

“You made me skip lit, maybe you’d have deserved it.”

“Okay, fair. M’sorry.” Though a little gruff, you apologize with a shy smile, attempting to mute it with thin lips. Evading a wild thorny vine that grows against the gate you escape from. “Thank you for coming to fetch me.”

Sunghoon gives you an appreciative smile, dragging you closer and planting his lips against the crown of your head as you walk, “Yeah, of course.”

a/n: EWWWWW THIS WAS CORNY IM SORRY but as a sunghoon appreciating account when it comes to sunghoon corny . corny does not exist

© riki-soba, 2022

#♪ mari writes! #kflixnet #k-radio! #enhypenwriters #ficscafe #enhypen drabbles #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #sunghoon drabbles #sunghoon scenarios #sunghoon fluff #i land #park sunghoon #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon drabbles #park sunghoon imagines #park sunghoon scenarios #park sunghoon blurbs #park sunghoon fluff

[arminsumi]

Hi Jay! Can I ask for headcanons for Eren with s/o who is studying art history? And his s/o is like smart and interested in literature and philosophy and Eren is feeling a bit insecure because he think he's not enough for his partner and they deserve someone better

Alsoo I just want to say I looove your writing! ☺️

Hi sweetie! Ty for the kind words it means a great deal to me!

P.s. so sorry it took me a while to get around to this req, my drafts section has gotten very messy! So many unfinished stories... ( 〃▽〃)

Hcs / E. Jaeger

Just thinking about how Eren asks his dad about the literature you're talking about, so he can clue himself up on it, and how he just nods quietly when you go on your 1 am philosophy rambles.

Cws; fluff, pre-est relationship (dating)

Notes on y/n; gn!

Notes on this au; college! au

Definitely gushes to his parents about you! Practically has stars in his eyes when your name is on his lips

Embarrassedly asks his dad about the literature you're reading, since he's clued up on it

Loves going to art museums with you, even though his eyes are on you rather than the works of art. Also holds your hand when you stop to look at things

A good listener! One of his favorite things is to just sit there and listen to you enthuse about what you're learning, it makes his chest flutter

Feels the most insecure when he can't respond with anything valuable, especially when you're philosophizing

Sometimes he'll nod and have this far-away look, if you ask him if he's okay he'll start blushing

He seems to recede into this imaginary shell when he sees Armin fluidly debating with you about philosophy

Goes without saying, but he proudly gushes about you to armin with bright eyes

Eren has these curious eyes, sometimes they light up when you mention something specific, like renaissance-period art or sculpture art

And he really likes sculpture art! If he sees it at an art museum he'll be completely captivated

Sometimes when he feels overwhelmingly insecure about his lacking knowledge or inadequacy, he'll let out this very dramatic sigh

You might catch him looking at you with this dreamy gaze, he won't admit it but he's admiring how smart you are

Complains to Armin about feeling inadequate a lot, and requires a lot of pep talks

Sometimes he'll bluntly tell you that he has no idea what you're talking about, "I don't know what you just said, but it sounded nice."

Adores your 1 am philosophical rambles, whether it's over text or on a phone call, or face-to-face, he gets really invested

He will teach you to play guitar in return for you teaching him all about what you're learning!

Complains to Armin about feeling inadequate a lot, and requires a lot of pep talks

Sometimes he'll bluntly tell you that he has no idea what you're talking about, "I don't know what you just said, but it sounded nice."

Adores your 1 am philosophical rambles, whether it's over text or on a phone call, or face-to-face, he gets really invested

He will teach you to play guitar in return for you teaching him all about what you're learning!

#🗿 A sculpture for u all (hehe) #eren #fluff #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren x you #eren x reader #eren x gn!reader #eren fluff #aot #snk

[holistic-alcoholic]

This is a fill for today's WI Server Pride Prompt Party prompt, In the Closet.

Rating: T Pairing: winteriron Tags: established relationship, dimension travel, softness & love

The morning was the best part of the day, Tony thought and then immediately laughed at himself. If anyone had told him that only five years ago, he’d laugh at their faces. Then he would stop and laugh some more, for good measure. His hate for mornings was more prominent in the past, in those first few years after following Bucky into the closet and finding out that Narnia wasn’t as good of a deal as the children's book implied. Not that it was similar in any kind to Narnia, this world, apart from the entry point. He used to grumble about it, Tony did, during the first days. Bucky heard him once and laughed and then got all defensive about his literature tastes when it spurred into a whole argument about the book. That was when Tony found out Bucky was a nerd, hoarding books in his free time and having opinions, strong ones. That was their first normal conversation, the first time they tried to talk to each other, not fearing any minefields to come out. That was the first time they discovered both that they were just people, under all the history and pain and cruel jokes of fate, people who could agree, who could get on.

How time flew. Now, Tony thought of it with fondness, remembered their first steps with joy. Now, Tony was content, lying in bed, meeting the new morning with joy. It was a long time since their mornings were filled with battles for survival, wild beasts going after their house. Since then, the house turned to home, grew big, spurred new limbs into being, a workshop and a studio, and that new room they built to let off some steam after an argument and still hadn’t figured out its purpose. Now, Tony’s new suits worked their magic — most likely literally, to his displeasure, for the alien technology of this world, this pocket dimension was way too unstable and just plain weird to be called tech, not magic. They were a work of art, those suits, however, and they could work without him perfectly, at least in the matter of new pests. Bucky kept arguing that it was less the suits and more his pet that helped to keep the intruders out, but Tony was determined to prove him wrong. No cat, even the one with tentacles and its own TARDIS inside of it, could be that helpful. He loved Alpine, of course. But she was too lazy for it.

“Morning,” came a sound from behind him, and Tony couldn’t keep a still sleepy smile from his face. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“You, mostly,” how marvelous it was, even after all those years, to be able to just say so. “How lucky we are.”

He heard his husband’s quiet laugh.

“We are, aren’t we? And you were so negative in the beginning. Those dinosaurs will kill us. I wish I was dead instead of trapped here with you.”

There was laughter in Bucky’s tone, and yet Tony couldn’t but worry at his words. He turned to him and looked in his eyes.

“Never been more wrong about anything in my life. You know that, right?”

The tenderness in Bucky’s stare was encompassing.

“Of course I do.”

They were the only humans in this world for seven years. Fucking hell — years! That came with a lot of lessons. Don’t provoke an alien dinosaur to fight you, that was one.

Trust your companion. You and he work well together. He understands more of you than you can admit. He’s a great man, so kind, so brave, so resilient. You love him.

He loves you too.

It was a great morning to have, as it was true for mornings past, together, happy in their self-made life. Yet, that was the morning quite unlike the others.

“Come on,” Tony cajoled, “just come with me, here—”

“Tony?”

“Bucky?!”

It was were their friends, their world. The closet’s doors closed behind their backs. It was their world — exactly as they left it, all those years ago.

“Right,” Tony said faintly, holding to Bucky’s hand, as Rhodey stared, mouth open, at his clothes and hair (made sense, when they last saw each other, it was black). “I’m feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”

#winteriron #my fic #alpine content! #tony my beloved #bucky barnes #pride prompt party

[korka-mindlore]

Writeblr (re)intro !

Hi, hi! I've had a writeblr before, but left after remaking my entire Tumblr account. Got a bit busy, but missed the community so much that I wanted back in <3

-About me-

Korka or Corky - whichever you prefer

adult

undergrad majoring in two foreign languages and their respective literature :>

I've been writing for about as long as I've known of myself, but only started taking it seriously in the last 5-6 years, and only in the past year or two did I really start figuring out what I want to write, so my style is still unpolished and I still consider myself in my "finding myself" era

major procrastinator and experiencer of what I think is executive dysfunction; I will try my bestest to be active on here, but I might take a week or seven to read a single excerpt, though not for lack of interest or trying!! Nevertheless, please tag me in your works so I won't lose them in the dash :3

-What I write-

prose, short story lover, but I have about three WIPs that would be about the length of a novel(la) (that planning stage sure is planning)

literary movements I draw inspiration from the most are the romantic period (especially gothic) and symbolist movement, as well as the spirit of avant-garde's experimentation and pushing boundaries

my biggest role model is Charles Baudelaire :>

genres I like to stick to: fantasy, horror, horror/dark fantasy, recently tried experimenting with social satire, but we'll see how that goes

I feel most comfortable in fantasy and historical, but I love writing horror the most

I love worldbuilding and writing body horror/gore the most, but describing body language and appearance is something I desperately need to work on

I'm a planner and a perfectionist, so it might take some time for me to intro my WIPs properly, but I'm more than happy to talk about my OCs in the meantime :>

I have four WIPs in varying stages of planning, all still practically nameless:

a historical (time-travel) coming-of-age WIP meant to be about the length of a novel-novella (skeletal stage, planning out characters and main plot points)

a fantasy political intrigue WIP of a similar length (planning stage, details need to be ironed out before I can work on it, but i have an outline, sort of)

(and the spin-off horror fantasy collection of short stories WIP set in the same world) (skeletal stage, planning out the characters and the storylines)

a satirical WIP on the "tiktokification" of the arts, mainly literature, and anti-intellectualism (newest, researching stage; I know nothing about this yet beyond the core message and idea, but I'm looking forward to developing it)

-What I'd love to read-

genres: horror (especially dark fantasy!!), fantasy, "cheesy" romances, historical!!!!! I'm not too picky on genres, but if you mix horror in it, I'll love it even more

details: ngl those hyper-specific fantasy academy settings in coming-of-age stories hit different, detailed worldbuilding is everything to me, best-friends-to-lovers? chef's kiss. enemies-to-lovers? even louder chef's kiss. Morally ambiguous characters, morally questionable protagonists, I just love when the cast is formed of imperfect characters where you can't with 100% certainty say "x is evil" or "y is good". Make me think !

I also love reading poetry, though I'm not the best at analysing it and understanding particularly deep analogies, I love poetry that deals with abstract feelings, interpersonal relationships and personal philosophies <3

-I don't know how to end this :> -

A bit more about what i love writing/reading:

I'm from a Slavic country and dislike the way Slavic characters get written in western media, so most of my OCs are Slavic and I love to see a fleshed out Slavic character

I love body horror as an allegory for bodily autonomy and beauty standards. It's fun as horror, too, but as an allegory - very fun to explore

In general, I'm weak for a good symbol

And on me:

I spent most of my time in the last few years writing fanfiction, but so eager to focus on original fiction, too

I tend to write on-and-off, I'm either busy or tired, and sadly can go months without any progress :< I hope this changes as I get more settled into life

But! I've taken a recent liking to just making OCs without any particular WIP attached to them, so I'll probs talk about them if nothing else :)

I just missed the community of a writeblr a lot, so I'm hoping to make friends on here ! ^_^

#um i hope this works as an intro #i think i got everything lmao #writeblr #writeblr intro #i kept putting off finishing this (see: procrastinator) but when i opened my drafts all i had to add was the final two paragraphs

[natikoko]

Agent 4 (Adrian) character sheetzzz

I’m so sorry my baby I was procrastinating doing yours for like a week I’m so sorry

Adrian. Last Name unknown. 19 years old.

- 6’1ft

- From a lanky kid to almost 250 pounds of beef and gain. Had an extreme growth spurt in his teenage years, and combined with constant agent activity, made him into the guy he is today.

- Observant and calculating. Fueled by one single-minded determination at a time, he is easily one of the most effective agents in the NSS.

- Is selfish but selfless. His selfishness can be mistaken for heartlessness, and his selflessness can be mistaken for self sabotage. Make of that what you will.

- Insecure and vulnerable during splatoon 2, where he was fourteen. Helping Marie helped him boost his confidence plenty and made him feel needed when he was lost. His relationship with Marie is strong because of it.

• he doesn’t mention his life before meeting Marie often. It’s a sore spot.

- Confident and sensible. Manages to stay calm during the most stressful of situations. Meditates in his free-time helps. He’s very reliable.

- Can be a pushover at times. He just wants to help everyone!

- Enjoys literature and music. Is studying for a degree in music theory at Inkblot art academy. Takes up many extracurriculars (but has a hard time managing his time)

- Mains rollers, specifically Carbon’s or Krak-ons. Used to use dualies plentifully, but considers himself too tall to preform the evasive maneuvers he constantly did. Prefers strenuous weapons.

• Is ranked score is very high, despite him not playing often. Is probably really rusty now.

- Gets money funneled from his parents. Has a complicated relationship with them.

- He actually didn’t meet both 3(tilly) or 8(marlon) until almost half a year after Octo Expansion occurred. He was busy with his academics and Tilly and Marlon were both recovering from the deepsea metro, so they couldn’t meet right away.

• they instantly clicked when they met. They visited each other frequently and it strengthened their relationship.

• he “amazingly brought these two bumbling idiots together because they couldn’t confess” which is a complete lie, because Adrian is horrible with romance. They wouldn’t never started a relationship if Marlon didn’t state the obvious.

• Many sleepless nights trying to understand his feelings for those two…

- Is very good at shuffling cards, for some reason. But he’s horrible at card games, so…

- Physically the strongest out of all the NSS members. Marlon is strong, but wouldn’t last long without a weapon for aid. Tilly is his strongest competitor. It’s a debate amongst the NSS.

• he and Tilly fought to settle this debate. Adrian clotheslined Tilly so hard she momentarily passed out not even three minutes into the fight and it’s obvious who won

- Doesn’t cry. It’s an unhealthy habit that he’s trying to unlearn. When he does cry, it’s messy and snotty and it’s loud and gross

- But he will NOT let his girls bottle their emotions up. He will beat those feelings out of them if he has too. If he sees any ounce of repressed trauma he’s going therapist mode

• he sees a therapist! It’s nice to just have someone to talk to, yknow?

- Is the only one in the relationship who can remotely dress well. That’s not saying much

• wears plenty of shorts and plain t-shirts. Very much is a minimalist clothes kinda guy, but that’s on par with his shitty fashion sense (me tease)

- Huge fan of Hightide Era and Ink Theory

- Animals HATE him and he does not Know Why

- Speaks very loudly. Will ask the simplest question but shout it. He’ll ask “WHATS FOR DINNER‼️‼️” without knowing he’s shouting. Cannot control the volume of him voice

- Weird eating habits. Puts Ketchup in his tuna and peanut butter on his chips but he eats a lot of good home-prepared foods so it cancels out

- Tilly called him babygirl and I don’t think he’s been the same since

- Best hugger! They’re warm and comfortable and welcoming and he always rocks you back and forth, maybe even a firm pat on the back

- A big excitable guy! Don’t be mean to him!

#splatoon #agent 4 (adrian) #agent 4 #splatoon oc #splatoon headcanons #sorry for typos I’m not rereading this

[misfit-mania-the-first]

Okay I know this is old news or whatever but I am so mad about how much hate the artist/author of Boyfriends on WEBTOON gets.

From when I was more into the comic, the main reason ppl had to be upset at the person were:

A) They drew BTS nsfw art in their teens

B) They fetishized trans men

C) The characters are all Asian and do not look Asian

D) They had the nerd say he was a proshipper

These reasons are honestly so bad to me. Idk if anyone else has extra info or maybe something else he did was bad, but I’m going to explain why I think these are such bad reasons.

1. BTS nsfw art

I’m just going to come out and say it’s bad to write or draw fanart/fanfics of any real person if they haven’t given consent to. It’s different from characters because these are Real People with real emotions and such. And yeah, that wasn’t good. But a couple things. They stopped drawing it around 17-19. For some people that’s way too old to be drawing that, and many think that it’s an attempt at an excuse.

I don’t think that’s the case. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve seen online of people having bombastic crushes on singers and actors and doing the most heinous shit because they were teenagers. Teenagers just Do That. Yes it’s creepy, but many people go through a phase of having to learn how to seperate fiction from reality and it’s in your teen years. It’s not odd, and I don’t think it’s out of the realm of possibility to consider that a 17-18-19 year old would learn that and send out an apology. I mean our brains apparently don’t even develop till 25. There was also one point that many believed that the artist actually liked someone else’s nsfw BTS art recently, but I saw the post they liked and in my opinion…I had no idea who tf they were drawing. I’m not into BTS but I’ve seen pictures and if I was just scrolling one day and saw it I’d like the post. I don’t remember any BTS specific tags or a BTS related caption. Maybe the entire account was about that and so they didn’t feel the need for tags but I have no idea.

2) They fetishized trans men

Writing four trans men acting stupid and cringy in college and having healthy relationships and discussing boundaries and consent in a polyamorous relationship is not fetishizing. The artist himself is a trans man.

Sidebar, many critiques also center around the unrealistic portrayal of four ppl being in one polyamorous relationship together which honestly? Who cares if it’s unrealistic, it’s a good portrayal and it’s a romance, why can’t gays just have a happy story for once.

3) The characters are all Asian and do not look Asian

Hey, I didn’t know they were Asian either. I mean, I figured jock was but not the others. But honestly it’s not that big a deal. They’re the only four characters in the entire series I believe( other than their girl counterparts) and I’m sure if there was another character that wasn’t Asian we’d be able to tel. But even then, many many comics have a similar simplistic artstyle online, and race and ethnicity are not always obvious. Also the artist is Filipino, so I really doubt there’s anything iffy going on there.

4) Nerd is a proshipper

There’s nothing bad about thinking fiction ≠ reality and that you can act independently of the fiction you consume. Most people irl are proship without realizing it. Most literature is proship, because it explores every single aspect of storytelling. Antis really have not chosen the best hill to die on.

And that’s all I’ve got.

#boyfriends #boyfriends webtoon #proshipping

[raiquen]

Book Review: Antología poética de Alfonsina Storni

My Review in a tweet:

Storni's poetry swings between a crude and raw lament, and a gentle and melancholic yearn, walking on the edge of happiness and depression. Some of her works elude me beyond my grasp because of an innate womanhood that drives her art.

My Full Review:

Alfonsina Storni is a renowned poet from Argentina, a feminist icon of the past century and a topic of discussion with my mother. I inherited my passion for literature from her, so when she told me she couldn't connect with Storni's works, I had to find out if I could.

Now, having read some of the works thanks to this old selection of her poems, I feel like there's a world right next to the one I have lived in so far, a faint mirage of the world seen through the eyes of womanhood.

This isn't to say that I can't relate to or understand the feminist cause or the difficulties inherent to living as a woman, but Storni's poems make it seem and feel like an invisible pain that all women share in silence.

I knew before reading anything from Storni that she had a thing for the sea, a primal yearn to it, but it extends to all of nature, albeit a more gentle one towards everything else that isn't the deep blue of the ocean. She feels a deep connection to all living things, specially plants, and it shows in her poems, feeling herself like a tree of golden leaves and short branches.

She also finds a lot of inspiration in love and men. Those were some of the poems I found most entertaining, for they were sometimes hopeful and full of desire, and sometimes sad and almost remorseful.

In "Uno" ("One"), which I won't bother to translate to avoid butchering her poetry, Alfonsina talks so earnestly and almost in a lustful way of a stranger she meets on a train, pinning for him in a too familiar way. The comparisons she makes are reminiscent of nature and its goods and beauty, pointing at the honey color of his skin, the spring feeling of his presence and the copper sideline of his face.

Another common topic on her poetry is womandhood and, more specifically, the relationship between her and her mother. I found the next poem, "Palabras a mi Madre" (Words to my Mother), the most cruel, not because of ill feelings between one another, but because of the unexplainable distance and misunderstanding that taints their bond.

Overall, a conflicting and alienating reading, because it made me step out of my own experience as a man and peek behind the courtain of the women's world, for which I thank her.

My Other 2024 Readings.

#book review #books #2024 readings #my 2024 readings #alfonsina storni #storni #poetry #literature #argentina #poesía #literatura #libros