#what if they played the fantasy out a bit for the hell of it to make it Even More Painful

[starsreminisce]

ACOSF Feyre with Az

“Give me some credit, Feyre,” Az said. “I can keep hidden well enough.” “We take no risks,” Feyre said, voice flat with command. “Pull all your spies out.” “Like hell I will.” Cassian braced himself, but Feyre didn’t back down. “Information from your spies—any spies—can’t be trusted with the Crown in play. Amren said it needs close contact to sink its claws into someone’s mind. We stay far away from Briallyn.” Azriel bristled and turned to Rhys. “And you agree with her?” “She’s your High Lady,” Rhys said coldly. “What she says is law.”

ACOSF Feyre with Lucien

“I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort. “And I came up here because Feyre said I should. I need to kill a few hours before I’m to meet with her and Rhys. She thought I might enjoy seeing Nesta at work.” “She’s not a carnival attraction,” Cassian said through his teeth. “It’s not for entertainment.” Lucien’s red hair gleamed in the dimness of the rainy day. “I think Feyre wanted a progress assessment from someone who hasn’t seen her in a while.” “And?” Cassian bit out. Lucien threw him a withering look. “I’m not your enemy, you know. You can drop the aggressive brute act.”

It's notable to observe the choices SJM made in ACOSF regarding Feyre's relationships with Lucien and Azriel. Instead of bringing Azriel closer to Feyre while distancing her from Lucien, SJM chose to have Azriel exhibit argumentative behavior toward Feyre, a role typically associated with Lucien.

Feyre's response to Azriel's challenge contrasts with her interaction with Lucien, where they reach some understanding or truce, even extending an invitation to Lucien for their intimate family solstice gathering.

Furthermore, SJM portrays Feyre becoming closer to Helion, who is Lucien's father. Similarly, Nesta transitions from being antagonistic toward Lucien to siding with him regarding Elain's avoidance. SJM even depicts Nesta's disinterest in pursuing a sexual relationship with her sister's father-in-law, while hinting at Nesta's fantasies involving Azriel.

These romantic developments between Elain and Lucien are captivating and certainly suggest they could be endgame. But why would SJM depict Elain's sisters getting along with Lucien? Why provide details about Lucien's efforts to connect with his brother-in-laws if Elain and Azriel were intended to be together?

SJM could have continued along the path established in ACOSAF, especially concerning Lucien. Instead, she seems to have made it more challenging for Elain to reject her mate. Rhys's assurance of support for Elain doesn't quite align with Lucien's integration into her family if he weren't intended to be a part of it.

#elucien #pro elucien #elain x lucien #antielriel #antie/riel

[matan4il]

911 ep 710 first watch reactions

Ha, so Chris is upset, Eddie is distraught and his go to person is Buck, who drops everything else and comes over right away. And not for the first, or second, or third time. Yes, this is exactly how every platonic friendship I've ever had has played out.

The way Buck reads Eddie, knows him so well, that Buck can vocalize the part that Eddie can't say out loud right away... Soul mates.

"What you always do." Married soul mates.

LOL The way Hen and Chim don't even blink when Buck and Eddie show up at the hospital together, like the married couple they are. XD

This group of fire fighters being the best amateur detectives on TV since the Scooby Doo gang will never not be funny. Also, highly implausible, but that just makes it funnier.

"You go to hell!" "You first!" So 911 was having a western kink kinda month, and decided to set up this very likely storyline, just to be able to quote Tombstone? Hmmm.

"This one, we both walk out of." See, 911 is the show where I can roll my eyes 30 times during a storyline, but the climax moment still gets to me with its humaneness. That's the show's power. And the follow up reunion with Bobby! I had no doubt he'd live, but it was still very emotional to walk with Athena down the hospital hallway into his room and get to not only see, but also feel it.

"Bobby is the father I've never had." We know, but it was still nice to hear. "Your father's alive." Oh, Tommy. How little you understand Buck. "So maybe we both have daddy issues." "I don't." "But you think I do." "God, I hope so." lol Is this supposed to be flirting? If so, it's so off the mark for me, the dart ended up in outer space. I mean, Buck obviously has daddy issues, and I guess whoever needed that confirmed can celebrate (I'm sure there will be even more fics digging into this now), but pointing that out in the middle of a date is hardly the sexy move this ep's writer seems to think it is? IDK, I'm obviously a Buddie shipper, I like BuckTommy better than any other r/s Buck's had with a non-Eddie person, I do enjoy it as a part of Buck's journey (and I also generally believe in ship and let ship, even when something isn't my endgame), but even if I was a BuckTommy shipper, IDK that I would have liked that line. Especially when it treads a bit close to the issues I had with the BuckAbby r/s, which the show has never properly addressed. Oh, well. I'm still mostly amused that someone thought this was a great flirty line.

"He's 13, he should have a say!" To be heard? Yes. To have the final say? No. He's 13, not 18. There's a reason why at that age, we don't let kids make decisions for themselves yet. Also, the Diaz parents trying to pretend like the fact that Chris suggested him living with them for a while isn't their secret fantasy come true (or that they have no past where they hurt their son with this idea) is just crude. Also, hinting to Eddie that if he doesn't let Chris run away from his problems, then he'll be just like Ramon, is fucked up.

Also, kinda hilarious that Buck and Eddie's daddy issues are both brought up in the same ep. Sometimes being soul mates means exactly that, getting your partner perfectly because you have the same emotional baggage.

So, Chris is leaving, and the first one to talk to him on screen since the Kim debacle, and since he got the green light to go, is Buck? And Buck's also still there for the actual parting moment? Speaking of actual dads rather than bio ones...

I really liked Eddie just hugging Chris, using no words. There might not be anything he can say to fix this right now, but he still loves his son more than anything, and he can still let Christopher know that. And then when the message didn't get through, even though he's not a words person, Eddie managed to verbalize it. Don't mind me, I'll just be bawling quietly in the corner.

Buck's comforting hand on Eddie's shoulder is the real MVP. <3

I'm glad Mara's back in touch with Hen, Karen and Denny, but this feels a bit like a "deus ex machina" moment, even if it's just to wrap up the season finale, and not the final resolution of this storyline.

Bobby and Amir are actually so similar. They both lost everything, they both were at their lowest, they both chose to help others when they had nothing else left to live for. That handshake was a nice ending to their story, and it did feel more "earned" for not coming quickly or easily.

Ha, that ending. It's a good twist of events as a build up for season 8, it's just interesting because 911 doesn't usually do end of season cliff hangers. I also feel like, knowing the show, I can already predict more or less how it will turn out, so I'm not even feeling that much suspense. But it's not a bad turn of events, so long as it works for most viewers, I suppose. Overall, I enjoyed most of season 7, it feels revitalized, better paced and structured (despite being shorter) than seasons 5 and 6, and I have no doubt everyone will flock back to see how things unfold in season 8. Especially when this season was a nice reminder of everything this show can do right, and why we love these characters and fire family so much.

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

#911 spoilers #9-1-1 #911 meta #911meta #911 abc #911 show #911abc #911 #911 on abc #911onabc #911reactions #athena grant #bobby nash #bathena #evan buckley #buddie #eddie diaz #buddie meta #karen wilson #hen wilson

[seiya234]

*hits fantasy blunt* what if Henry grew up with Mabel and Dipper, that would be weird, right, anyway thank you to @soulsinshadow who inspired this and @marypsue who i'm pretty sure i texted about this once or thrice.

---------

The year after the Transcendence, Wendy’s dad got a call. Tyler had picked up the phone, gone pale, then turned to Wendy and said “Go get your Dad- now.”

Dad had never gotten in the habit of carrying a cell- the service in the forest was too spotty, even after all these years- so this meant Wendy had to get in the golf cart and start looking for him.

Tyler was still on the phone when they got back an hour later. He handed the phone to Dad without even a peck on the cheek.

Her father listened. Two minutes in he said, “Yes, of course, bring him here.” He looked at Tyler, who nodded. “Talk to my husband. He can handle the logistics.” Dad practically threw the phone at Tyler, then rushed outside. Wendy went to go follow, but Tyler gently grabbed her arm. “Honey, not right now.”

Outside, her father screamed out load, a roar that shook the windows of the house. Wendy turned to look outside the kitchen window just in time to watch her father uproot a twelve foot pine tree, throw it to  the side, before collapsing to the ground, deflated.

From behind her, finally off the phone, Tyler said. “I’ll take care of him Wendy.”

(left unspoken was ‘That isn’t your job anymore.’ Wendy appreciated it more than she ever could say.)

“Why don’t you get the spare room ready, if you please?”

“For how long?”

Tyler looked outside, at his heartbroken husband. “For good, I think.”

Two days later, Wendy’s cousin Henry came from the hospital to live with them.

It was a weird time, a limbo time.

There were two Stans now. Soos decided to leave town for a bit, to see the world and move in with Melody (though Wendy had a feeling they’d both be back). She figured out that while boys were fun to play with, really though, she liked girls. Tambry and Robbie were still going strong which she was pleasantly surprised about. She still worked at the Shack but the wind had gone out of Stan’s sails which meant the wind had gone out of the Shack’s sails and it all felt sad and diminished.

Above all, there was a Mabel and Dipper shaped hole in town. They should be in Gravity Falls- hell, even as someone as insensitive to all this weird magic shit as Wendy could feel the ache of the town, the loss sucking like a black hole.

But they would be back. She knew it.

And then there was Henry.

------------

No one told her how Henry had ended up in the hospital, and Dad had actually pulled her aside to tell her not to ask. As someone who had been the deputy adult in the house for many years, Wendy was a little miffed at first to not know, but that died the day she met her cousin for the first time, all long limbs far too skinny, and hollow eyes and little round burns still healing.

(Years later, Wendy finally found out what Rita and Arnold had done, to send Henry to the hospital and them to jail.

She gave Dipper a snickers bar each, to make it look natural.)

----------

Henry was a Corduroy all right: red hair, freakishly tall, looked good in plaid.

He read. A lot. He was at the library every other day practically. It was summer vacation, but Wendy had a feeling Henry would do okay in school. He probably wouldn’t have a lot of friends, but neither would he get teased. He was surprisingly good at the house chores, slipping into dish and living room rotation seamlessly. Thankfully he wasn’t a weird fundie like Aunt Rita and Uncle Arnold- Kevin asked the first week if they needed to say grace, for Henry.

Very quietly, but very firmly, Henry said, “No.”

It was the first thing that he had said since he moved int. He proceeded to not say another word for the next eight days.

It was okay. Wendy could be patient, when she wanted to. As a child she would wait for hours, hands outstretched, until birds would finally land on her fingers and eat the seed cupped in her palms.

This was just basically a larger bird.

--------

He read. He helped Dad with the trees, even though it left him pale and shaking with exhaustion when he got back to the house. He took long walks in the woods by himself- sometimes as the mood took him because he would occasionally forget to put on his shoes before leaving. He began to speak, though still only a sentence or two- simple, polite, phrases, nothing more.

But she waited, and she waited, and final, one day as they were cleaning up after dinner, Wendy casually said, “You don’t have to go out with Dad, you know?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Out in the woods. I mean, Dad won’t say no to the help and you get a cut of the score but-“

“Wendy, I apologize for interrupting, but did you say that I get… a portion of your dad’s pay?”

She couldn’t help but start a bit. “Uh yeah? You’re out there helping, of course dad will throw you a bone. He doesn’t get paid until next week but I’m pretty sure you’ve earned at least a hundo-“

“Hundo?”

“… hundred or two hundred dollars.”

“Oh.” It was odd, for someone as big and tall as Henry, to have a voice so soft and quiet. “But… I don’t have to?”

“Nah.” Wendy was going to go on a bit more, but then she looked at Henry, looked at how pale he was.

Realized that he wasn’t shaking and sweating when he got home from lumberjacking because he was tired.

“No one is going to force you to do something you don’t want to do here, Henry,” she finally managed to say.

“The Bible says to honor thy mother and father.” Henry paused. “The brother of thy father I guess but the point still stands.”

“But do you still believe that? Like, really?”

He was deadly quiet. But finally he said, “No.”

Without warning, Henry got up and went outside- again without shoes.

But he began to talk more after that.

#transcendence au #seiya writes! #gravity falls #wendy corduroy

[lordofthestrix]

Lucien: Uh, just a tick. Aurora has Rebekah, hmm?

Aurora: No reason why I shouldn't be trusted with my sire's safety. Lucien: [scoffs] Of course... unless you were to have one of your episodes.

Tristan: Easy, Lucien. My sister sought leverage to protect herself. Who among us would do otherwise?

#Tristan's pov: #She stole her from me and I'm not offended. #Would you kindly put on your muzzle? #Tristan is very complicated when it comes to Aurora. There is quite a bit of inner conflict there #On one hand he is overprotective beyond the nine circles of hell. #And he hates Aurora playing where there are so many immortals stronger than them. #And yet...He also defends what he calls her “right to take charge of her fate” Not once not twice but trice. All times to different people. #And in opposition this is reason number 767 why he would never take Lucien's crush seriously. #From Tristan's interpretation Lucien is sort of similar to...Gatsby without the charisma. #He has these fantasies about impressing the girl he wants by placing the world at her feet. #But he doesn't truly want Daisy. He merely wants the idea of Daisy he fabricated inside his head forever ago. #And he lashes out to the point of offense whenever Aurora doesn't conform to the script he has for her #He refuses to admit she is the kind of Daisy who...Kidnaps Rebekah. #Tristan exists at this strange point where he is sometimes the one reassuring Aurora she is indeed that person. And that's just perfect. #He “has no doubt she can burn the entire world to dry the oceans” #She “should remember she can do anything.” #But simultaneously he is still going to be insanely worried and murderous about Aurora suffering a bruise whenever she massacres a city. #Because she is just so much more important to him that everything else that surrounds her. And he doesn't know how not to be. #Even the infinitesimal possibility of anything bad happening to her awakens his best and his worst. #Out of eternity

[inhonoredglory]

Aziraphale’s Choice, the Job Connection, and Michael Sheen’s Morality

Update: Michael Sheen liked this post on Twitter, so I'm fairly certain there is a lot of validity to it.

I’ve had time to process Aziraphale’s choice at the end of Season 2. And I think only blaming the religious trauma misses something important in Aziraphale’s character. I think what happened was also Aziraphale’s own conscious choice––as a growth from his trauma, in fact. Hear me out.

Since November 2022 I’ve been haunted by something Michael Sheen said at the MCM London Comic Con. At the Q&A, someone asked him about which fantasy creature he enjoyed playing most and Michael (bless him, truly) veered on a tangent about angels and goodness and how, specifically,

We as a society tend to sort of undervalue goodness. It’s sort of seen as sort of somehow weak and a bit nimby and “oh it’s nice.” And I think to be good takes enormous reserves of courage and stamina. I mean, you have to look the dark in the face to be truly good and to be truly of the light…. The idea that goodness is somehow lesser and less interesting and not as kind of muscular and as passionate and as fierce as evil somehow and darkness, I think is nonsense. The idea of being able to portray an angel, a being of love. I love seeing the things people have put online about angels being ferocious creatures, and I love that. I think that’s a really good representation of what goodness can be, what it should be, I suppose.

I was looking forward to BAMF!Aziraphale all season long, and I think that’s what we got in the end. Remember Neil said that the Job minisode was important for Aziraphale’s story. Remember how Aziraphale sat on that rock and reconciled to himself that he MUST go to Hell, because he lied and thwarted the will of God. He believed that––truly, honestly, with the faith of a child, but the bravery of a soldier.

Aziraphale, a being of love with more goodness than all of Heaven combined, believed he needed to walk through the Gates of Hell because it was the Right Thing to do. (Like Job, he didn’t understand his sin but believed he needed to sacrifice his happiness to do the Right Thing.)

That’s why we saw Aziraphale as a soldier this season: the bookshop battle, the halo. But yes, the ending as well.

Because Aziraphale never wanted to go to Heaven, and he never wanted to go there without Crowley.

But it was Crowley who taught him that he could, even SHOULD, act when his moral heart told him something was wrong. While Crowley was willing to run away and let the world burn, it was Aziraphale (in that bandstand at the end of the world) who stood his ground and said No. We can make a difference. We can save everyone.

And Aziraphale knew he could not give up the ace up his sleeve (his position as an angel) to talk to God and make them see the truth in his heart.

I was messed up by Ineffable Bureaucracy (Boxfly) getting their happy ending when our Ineffable Husbands didn’t, but I see now that them running away served to prove something to Aziraphale. (And I am fully convinced that Gabriel and Beelzebub saw the example of the Ineffables at the Not-pocalypse and took inspiration from them for choosing to ditch their respective sides)

But my point is that Aziraphale saw them, and in some ways, they looked like him and Crowley. And he saw how Gabriel, the biggest bully in Heaven, was also like him in a way (a being capable of love) and also just a child when he wasn’t influenced by the poison of Heaven. Muriel, too, wasn’t a bad person. The Metatron also seemed to have grown more flexible with his morality (from Aziraphale's perspective). Like Earth, Heaven was shades of (light?) gray.

Aziraphale is too good an angel not to believe in hope. Or forgiveness (something he’s very good at it).

Aziraphale has been scarred by Heaven all his life. But with the cracks in Heaven’s armor (cracks he and Crowley helped create), Aziraphale is seeing something else. A chance to change them. They did terrible things to him, but he is better than them, and because of Crowley, he feels ready to face them.

(Will it work? Can Heaven change, institutionally? Probably not, but I can't blame Aziraphale for trying.)

At the cafe, the Metatron said something big was coming in the Great Plan. Aziraphale knows how trapped he had felt when he didn’t have God’s ear the first time something huge happened in the Big Plan. He can’t take a chance again to risk the world by not having a foot in the door of Heaven. That’s why we saw individual human deaths (or the threat of death) so much more this season: Elspeth, Wee Morag, Job’s children, the 1940s magician. Aziraphale almost killed a child when he couldn’t get through to God, and he’s not going through that again.

“We could make a difference.” We could save everyone.

Remember what Michael Sheen said about courage and doing good––and having to “look the dark in the face to be truly good.” That’s what happened when Aziraphale was willing to go to Hell for his actions. That’s what happened when he decided he had to go to Heaven, where he had been abused and belittled and made to feel small. He decided to willingly go into the Lion’s Den, to face his abusers and his anxiety, to make them better so that they would not try to destroy the world again.

Him, just one angel. He needed Crowley to be there with him, to help him be brave, to ask the questions that Heaven needed to hear, to tell them God was wrong. Crowley is the inspiration that drives Aziraphale’s change, Crowley is the engine that fuels Aziraphale’s courage.

But then Crowley tells him that going to Heaven is stupid. That they don’t need Heaven. And he’s right. Aziraphale knows he’s right.

Aziraphale doesn’t need Heaven; Heaven needs him. They just don’t know how much they need him, or how much humanity needs him there, too. (If everyone who ran for office was corrupt, how can the system change?)

Terry Pratchett (in the Discworld book, Small Gods) is scathing of God, organized religion, and the corrupt people religion empowers, but he is sympathetic to the individual who has real, pure faith and a good heart. In fact, the everyman protagonist of Small Gods is a better person than the god he serves, and in the end, he ends up changing the church to be better, more open-minded, and more humanist than god could ever do alone.

Aziraphale is willing to go to the darkest places to do the Right Thing, and Heaven is no exception. When Crowley says that Heaven is toxic, that’s exactly why Aziraphale knows he needs to go there. “You’re exactly is different from my exactly.”

____

In the aftermath of Trump's election in the US, Brexit happened in 2018. Michael Sheen felt compelled to figure out what was going on in his country after this shock. But he was living in Los Angeles with Sarah Silverman at the time, and she also wanted to become more politically active in the US.

Sheen: “I felt a responsibility to do something, but it [meant] coming back [to Britain] – which was difficult for us, because we were very important to each other. But we both acknowledge that each of us had to do what we needed to do.” In the end, they split up and Michael moved back to the UK.

Sometimes doing the Right Thing means sacrificing your own happiness. Sometimes it means going to Hell. Sometimes it means going to Heaven. Sometimes it means losing a relationship.

And that’s why what happened in the end was so difficult for Aziraphale. Because he loves Crowley desperately. He wants to be together. He wanted that kiss for thousands of years. He knows that taking command of Heaven means they would never again have to bow to the demands of a God they couldn’t understand, or run from a Hell who still came after them. They could change the rules of the game.

And he’s still going to do that. But it hurts him that he has to do that alone.

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #it's kinda like capt america: civil war #with Azi as Tony Stark: traumatized and trying to do the right thing #and Crowley being Steve Rogers: fuck the establishment let's go rogue #gos2spoilers #good omens meta #good omens 2 meta #go s2 #michael sheen #go s2 meta #go meta #*mine #*mymeta #ineffables husbands #ineffable soulmates #*mybest

[idyllic-ghost]

title: What A Man (What A Mighty Good Man) pairing: idol!S.Coups x gn!reader genre: fluff, comedic, suggestive warnings: BSS drunk karaoke, second-hand embarrassment, pet names (pretty, babe, baby, etc.), alcohol mentions, mentions of explicit material, implied that reader is smaller than cheol (cheol can carry reader over his shoulder), reader has a bit of a lumberjack fantasy about cheol synopsis: Everyone knows you're down bad for Seungcheol, it's just extra obvious when you're drunk. wordcount: 2k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag, @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @seunghancore, @woozixo, @niktwazny303, @lllucere, @uniq-tastic, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @cali-snow, @pearlygraysky, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang

rating: 18+

a/n: idk why i wrote this, i was just listening to the song and then i got the idea- procrastinating on work is my biggest source of motivation for writing

join my taglist

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✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Seungcheol knew that tonight would end in chaos as soon as he saw the karaoke machine. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put in a karaoke machine in the living room area of the vacation home, was immensely wrong. He knew that at least a couple people in the group were going to start using it after a few drinks tonight, and luckily managed to get one of the bedrooms in the smaller cabins nearby instead of one in the main building. However, he didn't expect that one of the people who would hop on the karaoke machine would be you.

It was already getting late when Soonyoung, Seungkwan, and Seokmin had "discovered" the karaoke machine. One of the members, or maybe even one of their partners, had attempted to hide it under a blanket - to no avail, seeing as the three of them were able to sniff it out.

It all started with a solo from Seungkwan, which Soonyoung joined in on. Soon enough, the entirety of BSS was singing together once Seokmin had joined them. Once the song finished, everyone expected them to start singing again soon enough - but they didn't expect to hear your voice echo from the speakers.

Seungcheol sat in the corner of the room, talking to Joshua about how nice it was going to be to spend some quiet time alone with you, when he heard "Whatta Man" by Salt-N-Pepa and En Vogue start playing over the systems. At first, he thought nothing of it - maybe he was a little surprised that Soonyoung knew all of the words to the first verse, but there was nothing in particular that got his attention from his conversation. That was, until you started on the second verse.

"My man is smooth like Barry and his voice got bass. A body like Arnold with a Denzel face-"

Your voice was giggly, but you surprisingly managed to sing all of the words quite clearly . Joshua snorted as he looked up to the mini-stage that Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan had made out of a few tables. Seungcheol didn't dare look up at first, but it was impossible to ignore your loud voice over the speakers. As soon as he lifted his gaze to meet yours, your face lit up. From your face, Seungcheol could tell that you were drunk - he could tell that you were very drunk from the way you danced as if no one was watching... despite everyone definitely watching.

"Yeah, the ritual, highway to Heaven. From 7 to 7, he's got me open like 7-11," you shouted into the microphone while pointing to him.

Soonyoung was on the floor, dying from laughter, Seokmin was staring at the lyrics on the screen, and Seungkwan was singing back-up vocals while you kept going. Eventually, Seungcheol excused himself from his conversation with Joshua to walk to the front of the room. While he only thought this was cute, he knew that you would be embarrassed as all hell in the morning. It was time to put this to a stop. Seungkwan had since taken over, while you were holding your arms over your head and moving your hips in circles - completely unaware of the eyes on you, despite the many whoop's and wolf whistles. When you saw him approach, you stopped what you were doing and bounced over to him.

"Seungcheollie~," you slurred directly into the microphone. "You're a mighty-mighty good man!"

"Uh-huh." Seungcheol looked up at you, holding his hands out to catch you in case you fell off the table you were standing on. "I think you're ready for bed, pretty."

"Noooo," you whined as your boyfriend managed to take the microphone from you. "The song isn't done yet..."

Seungkwan and Soonyoung were still singing, while Seokmin was still looking at the lyrics and shouting out words at random, and not paying attention to you anymore. With a sigh, Seungcheol put the mic down on the ground - though he couldn't hide his big smile as he looked back up to see that you had started dancing again. He managed to take ahold of you, grabbing your legs and putting your body over his shoulder.

"Cheollie, nooo..."

Seungcheol excused himself to the room of people, and didn't wait for their response before going away to the bedroom the two of you had picked out. To get you more comfortable before he carried out in the chilly night, he maneuvered you to sit with your legs wrapped around his waist. Your face naturally found its way to the crook of his neck, and he heard you let out a delighted sigh as he hugged you a little tighter. He managed to put on his slippers without looking - or at least he thought it was his slippers - and decided to leave your shoes there to be picked up in the morning.

"Comfy?" he asked.

You hummed in response, and Seungcheol opened the door to step outside. The walk to the cabin wasn't far but it was getting pretty cold outside, and you shivered in his arms.

"We'll get you in bed soon, baby," he cooed at you.

"Seungcheol," you said in a very serious tone - you definitely hadn't heard what he had just said.

"Yeah?"

"Why aren't you a lumberjack man?" You lifted your upper body up to look at him.

"Why am I not a what now?" Seungcheol laughed, doing his best to give you his attention while still keeping you off the ground. "A lumberjack man?"

"You're so strong- you can definitely carry wood for a living." You gripped onto his biceps. "And you'd have, like, a husky or something... not that Kkuma isn't cute, she should come with us too... and we'd live in the woods- I think it'd be very hot of you."

"Are you fantasizing about me as a lumberjack man?" He opened the door to the cabin and stepped inside. "I thought I already was a mighty good man."

"Oh, you are." As he set you down on the bed, you refused to let him go - your arms wrapped around his neck to keep him close to you. "I just wanna watch you chop wood."

Despite you smelling of alcohol, Seungcheol pressed a kiss to your lips. His heart melted as he saw your big smile when he pulled away. As if his kiss was the password for you to unlock your arms, you let him go. Your eyes stayed on Seungcheol as he walked around the room, preparing for the night. He went into the bathroom to grab the painkillers you had brought and when he came back out, you were still looking at him. Your legs were crossed, leaning back on your arms, and your head was cocked to the side. As if he wasn't looking right at you, you looked him up and down - very obviously undressing him with your eyes.

"Babe," he said, interrupting your staring. "Get your pajamas."

"You're not going to undress me?" You pouted.

You were that kind of drunk. Seungcheol sighed and walked over to your bag, taking out your pajama pants and a t-shirt. While he was usually always intrigued whenever you tried to initiate something, tonight was not the case. You were almost too drunk to stand up straight, so no amount of complimenting his strong arms or fluttering your eyes at him was going to make Seungcheol give in. Still, he agreed to help undress you - and did so quickly, while you giggled as you tried to interrupt him.

Your hands never left his skin as he guided you around the room to get you ready for bed. After successfully getting you to brush your teeth, it was time for your skincare. He sat you down on the counter in the bathroom to help you, all the while you were feeling up his arms and shoulders. It was a little distracting, but Seungcheol put all of his energy to get your face clean. His hands were gentle as they traced the features of your face, and you closed your eyes in pure bliss.

"Maybe you shouldn't be a lumberjack man," you muttered.

"No? Why not?"

"Your hands are so gentle," you whispered, as if it was a secret.

You let go of his arms to start touching his hands instead. Seungcheol tried his best to keep your hands away from his own, but you were relentless. With your hands on top of his, you pressed them against your cheeks. They almost covered your entire face, but you didn't seem to mind.

"Soft hands," you muttered. "Wow, you're warm."

"Baby, just let me do the last step..." He sighed and removed his hands from you to pick up your face lotion. "You're a menace when you're drunk."

"Can you cuddle me when we go to bed?" you asked sweetly, ignoring what he had just said again. "I want to steal your warmth."

"Sure, babe." He looked up at you with a soft smile. "Now, close your eyes again."

Once you were tucked under the covers, he got you a glass of water. When you saw him, standing in front of you with a glass of water and looking tired, your eyes started tearing up. Seungcheol was quick to crouch down, putting the water on the bedside table, and reaching out to cup your face in his hands.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he cooed.

"You really are a good man," you mumbled with a pout. "Like- not just in the hot way."

Seungcheol hung his head down to hide his laugh from you. If you had seen him laughing at you, he knew that you'd take it as a personal attack. He looked back at you, trying to keep a straight face.

"You deserve the best, alright?" He let you go and picked up the glass of water again. "Now, drink up. I'll get you another glass for you to drink in the morning."

You nodded, tears still in your eyes over his sweet act, and started drinking. After putting painkillers and another glass of water on the bedside table by your side of the bed, Seungcheol got ready for bed. When he crawled into bed, minutes later, you were already half asleep. He kept his promise, and cuddled up next to you. You snuggled your head against his chest, and put your cold feet against his legs. Seungcheol froze up, but was careful not to make a sound as you were about to fall asleep. He knew that you were going to hate yourself in the morning, that you were going to ask him a million questions about what you had done, but now you looked so peaceful and he hoped that you could stay like that for as long as possible.

✦ . B O N U S . ✦

Breakfast was set out in the living room of the main house, made by the few that weren't experiencing a hungover that morning. You walked in behind Seungcheol, wearing one of his hoodies with the hood pulled up and sunglasses sitting on the bridge of your nose to protect you from the strong sunlight. As soon as a few people saw the two of you, they started singing:

"Whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man!"

You groaned and reluctantly sat down by the table, apologizing to everyone that was there about your drunken behavior the night before. People started joking around about it and while you were embarrassed, you couldn't help but to laugh at their jokes.

"Seriously, Seungcheol, you should be proud." Chan said from beside you. "No sane person would ever get up on a table and sing that song like that to a person, if they weren't down bad for them."

You slapped Chan's arm lightly, but you knew it was true. Choi Seungcheol was a mighty good man, and you were 100% down bad for him.

#svt #svthub #kvanity #seventeen #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop #kpop writer #svt fluff #fanfic #seungcheol smut #seventeen seungcheol #seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #choi seungcheol #seungcheol fluff #bee buzzed εїз✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[boringkate]

Here’s a Mega folder with a handful of junk for you trans girls to watch

https://mega.nz/folder/g14TWJaL#u5hER7DzOJbdJbAR0mhtBQ

///TGIRL FEATURE FILMS (alphabetical order)

Adam (2019) it's about a cis boy who's mistaken for a trans boy and rolls with it. Big cast of trans characters including a tgirl played by a tgirl who everyone wants to fuck. Directed by a trans dude. Highly legit. If you're still hung up on pre release speculation based on the novel then you're the most annoying person alive.

Assassination Nation (2018) The first half is Euphoria and the second half is The Purge. ONE OF THE BEST TGIRL MOVIES OF ALL TIME.

Bit (2019) Lesbian girl power vampire movie where the main character is a tgirl played by a tgirl. It's solid. I find it frustrating that they hint at her being trans without explicitly acknowledging it (and she's passing as fuck, so it's easy to not notice), but I know that's what some of y'all want.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) Cis dude for trans girl love story. Pretty normie, but also you see her fully naked (gock out) at the end.

Funeral Parade of Roses (1969) Extremely 60s. Cool as hell.

Lady Daddy (2010) South Korean romcom about a trans girl played by a cis girl who tries unconvincingly to back pass when she finds out she has a kid. Very cute.

Lingua Franca (2019) written directed and starring Isabel Sandoval. An undocumented trans woman immigrant in New York deals with a cis dude partner being a cis dude. Which is also the plot of The Garden Left Behind (2019).

Myra Breckinridge (1970) Raquel Welch is a trans woman and her goal is the destruction of the last vestigial traces of traditional manhood! It's Fight Club! It's Hackers! It's divisive, but it's probably my favorite movie!

So Pretty (2019) Literally the first scripted feature length (non pornographic tho it does have cock) film to feature two trans women played by trans women kissing eachother.

Something Must Break (2014) THE OTHER BEST TGIRL MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Drugs. Crimes. Gock. Slow motion pissing. Slow motion park Fucking. Genuinely the most beautiful sex scene I've seen in any movie. And she makes it to the end still alive and more sure of herself and at peace than ever.

Tangerine (2015) Groundbreaking and also a bunch of the secondary characters are real life pornstars (which I think is neat).

The Garden Left Behind (2019) This and Lingua Franca (2019) really are tgirl twin films, but (like with Antz and A Bug’s Life) the vibes and details make them distinct (I assume tho tbh I’ve never watched Antz).

///TGIRL DOCUMENTARIES

Bambi (2013) about a trans girl showgirl in 50s/60s paris

Paris is Burning (1990) basically it's Pose.

Shinjuku Boys (1995) Trans dudes working in a tokyo club that caters to tboy chasing cis girls. There's at least one trans girl in the mix too.

///FORCED FEMINIZATION

A Reflection of Fear (1972) They raised her as a girl and it made her do murders! It drags in places, but the girl in it is so ethereal and it has ageplay vibes and daddy issues.

Memory Run (1996) A very fun direct to video scifi action flick about fighting fascism by blowing up your pre transition self with a rocket launcher + it's based on a novel written by a trans woman.

She-Man A Story of Fixation (1967) Notable for being such a cliche sissy maid fantasy while also coming out so early + it was Bob Clark's first film lol.

Sleepaway Camp (1983) A more famous version of Reflection of Fear.

Surrender Dorothy (1998) A MUST WATCH. I personally bought a physical DVD and made an ISO of it for you because I was unsatisfied with the quality of the only copy that seemed to exist online. I ALSO PERSONALLY CREATED MY OWN SUBTITLES FOR IT BECAUSE EVEN THE DVD DIDN’T INCLUDE ANY! WHICH TOOK HOURS TO DO!

The Skin I Live In (2011) A rapist is kidnapped and turned into a girl by a mournful vengeful plastic surgeon. Which was also the plot of Victim (2010). I never really vibe with Pedro Almodóvar movies, but I recognize this is the preeminent forced feminization film.

///SHORT FILMS

Gender Troublemakers (1993) Some 90s Toronto trans girls fucking and discoursing. Explicit tgirl on tgirl action. This is the only one on the list that I haven’t actually watched yet. I’m hyped to watch it tho. Seems mindblowingly rad af.

Happy Birthday Marsha (2018) It's about Marsha P. Johnson.

I don't Know (1971) I'm obsessed with the trans girl in this one she just keeps popping up in all kinds of early 70s stuff. Directed by Penelope Spheeris (who is the sister of the cis gf in it).

Mesmeralda (2019) AN ABSOLUTE BANGER HOLY FUCK THE VIBES ARE OFF THE CHARTS! PLS WATCH THIS! I refuse to apologize for it being 15GB or to re encode it. It’s worth every byte and I want to ensure that this full quality copy doesn’t disappear off of the internet.

Pat Rocco's Changes (1970) It's that same girl again!

Queens at Heart (1967) I can't get over that hairdresser girl thinking she's back passing. Most adorably weak boymode ever.

Shangri-La (2021) Another Isabel Sandoval joint.

The Yellow Wallpaper (2021) Freshly post op girl with a supportive boyfriend goes unhinged.

Undress Me (2012) Jana Bringlöv Ekspong did a few short films. Give janabringlove a google after watching this.

///JUST LIKE BTW

Some of these would be tough to find elsewhere, but most of the movies are also watchable on fmovies and/or can be torrented in higher quality.

After you've worked your way through the folder then just start doing Google searches for trans films. Look at IMDB keywords and letterboxd lists. There are so many more out there. These are just like my personal picks.

#trans #trans girls #trans films #queer films

[pucksandpower]

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

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u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

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u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

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u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

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u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

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u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

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r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

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u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

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u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

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u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

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u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

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u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

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u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

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u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

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u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

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u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

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u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

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u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

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u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

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r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

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u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

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u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

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u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

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u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

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r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

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u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

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u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

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u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

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[cake-writes]

Just This Once

Pairing: Kakashi x Female!Reader

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, he gets lost in the sauce frfr, situationship… ish?, this man wants to RUN, disorganised attachment style (primarily avoidant), penis in vagina sex, teasing, edging (accidental), unprotected sex, creampie

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: Kakashi discovers that he has a breeding kink. It's kind of a spiritual experience.

Inspired by @rookie98writes's fic Leave It On

—

Kakashi isn’t used to the strange sort of domesticity that comes with being in a... whatever this is. It’s not quite a relationship. A situationship, maybe. He’d say it’s something more than friends-with-benefits, but the two of you aren’t really friends, either.  

You come together every now and then. That’s all. Like two passing ships in the night. 

So why is he standing in front of your stove, cooking dinner while you sort through the pile of unopened mail on your kitchen table? Why did he offer to water your plants while you were away? Why does he want to do anything for you? 

Kakashi knows what it’s like trying to play catch-up after some time away from home—two months, in your case. He’d knocked on your door a few minutes ago with the intention of returning your key, and he must have caught you right after you got back from the store if the two bags of groceries on your kitchen counter were any indication. 

You looked so dead on your feet that Kakashi took over from there, unprompted. But now, as he stirs the pot of flavourful soup simmering away on the stove, his mind sees fit to wander.  

What the hell is he doing?  

He’s getting too attached. That’s what he’s doing.  

It’s that time again—time to cut and run, just as he always does when things start to become complicated. Kakashi makes a habit of ending any potential connection before it can even start, because he can’t afford to lose anyone else. He can’t get hurt if he never lets anyone in. It’s easier that way. 

“I need to schedule my injection,” you mutter to yourself as you read through one letter. Then you sigh and toss it back down onto the table, before you lean back in your chair and rub your tired eyes. “We should probably get used to using condoms again until I can book an appointment.” 

Your birth control must be overdue, then.  

“Sure,” Kakashi answers, feigning unbothered. The two of you used condoms in the beginning, but after a particularly gruesome mission that nearly saw him home in a box, Kakashi stopped reaching for the bedside drawer, and you stopped asking him to.  

He should have known then that he was getting too attached. 

Still, it’s your body. Whatever you want. He’ll end things in the morning either way. 

As Kakashi samples a bit of the soup he’s minding on the stove, pausing for a moment to add a bit more salt, it suddenly sinks in – really sinks in – what could happen if the two of you aren’t careful.  

He could get you pregnant. 

A jolt of arousal shoots through him.

Kakashi doesn’t want children, not now, not ever, which is why it doesn’t make a lick of sense that such a thing would turn him on. He likes the idea of his seed taking root inside of you. He might even enjoy it, the imagery his mind conjures—you bent over for him, begging him to give you a baby, your pretty yukata hiked up around your waist…  

His clan crest embroidered on the back of it.  

Kakashi swears. Loudly.

You startle, looking over at him in alarm. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” he lies. Then he proceeds to play it off like he burned himself, but he isn’t fine. No, that single thought, that single fantasy, scares the complete and utter shit out of him—but it turns him on even more, and that’s so much worse.  

He’s already too attached. Way too fucking attached. 

—

Kakashi doesn’t do feelings. He has them, of course, much like any other person, but he doesn’t let them show very often, and he certainly doesn’t talk about them. He won’t say in so many words that he cares; instead, he shows you through his actions alone. 

His knees brush the underside of your thighs as he settles between your legs, bracing himself with one hand beside your head.  

What a vision you make, spread out for him like this.  

Your lamp had blown when you went to turn it on, leaving the streetlights to illuminate your features in a sickly hue of yellow-green. It isn’t romantic in the least, but he can’t help thinking that you’ve never looked more beautiful than in this moment—maybe because it’s the last time he’ll ever get to see you like this.  

The sight of you, so needy and wanting, fills his chest with something bittersweet.  

The tomoe of his sharingan spins lazily as he memorises the curves of your body, the muss of your hair, the rise and fall of your chest as you work to recover from your first orgasm of the night. His fingers are still tacky with your essence, and he smears the residual wetness over the head of his cock to make the entry a little easier. 

“You should wear a condom,” comes your breathy whisper, but you make no move to stop him. Your eyes almost seem to glow as you peer up at him in the dark, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. 

“Mm. Do you want me to?” 

His question hangs heavy in the air.  

The only things Kakashi can hear are your soft breaths and the sound of his own steady heartbeat, which quickens with every silent second that passes.  

You want to say no, he realises.  

He wants you to say no. 

“I like it better without,” you answer quietly, and the implication isn’t lost on him. Not when you look up at him with those big doe eyes, like you don’t know the risk. 

Because there is a risk, and he knows it. Kakashi hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it all night—wicked thoughts, terrible thoughts—thoughts of filling your fertile womb with his seed, thoughts of watching your belly grow round with his child, thoughts of seeing his clan sigil stamped between your shoulder blades like a mark of ownership. 

His.  

Against his better judgement, Kakashi does exactly what he shouldn’t do.  

He agrees.

“Just this once.”  

Just like he says every other time—except every other time, there hasn't been a risk.

Your coy little smile is what prompts him to lower down onto an arm and settle more of his weight on you. Kakashi dips his head to kiss you indulgently, savouring the taste of you, the feel of you beneath him. He kisses you like he hopes to convey just how much he missed you while you were gone, like you might be able to taste the unspoken words that linger in his mouth. 

He kisses you like he means it—and he does. That’s why he needs to go. 

As his tongue twines with yours, Kakashi fills you in a slow, beautiful glide that wrenches a whimper from your throat. 

He knows he should go easy on you, but he relishes in the rapid flutter of your walls as you struggle to adjust to him after so much time apart. A surge of masculine pride washes over him, tinged with a hint of guilt for stretching you open like this. He isn’t exactly small, after all, but you take him so well. 

To ease any potential discomfort, he smooths his hand up the soft skin of your thigh in a soothing caress, before he trails gentle, placating kisses along your jawline. “Is this okay?” Kakashi asks, voice low, only to be rewarded with a particularly strong contraction that makes his toes curl. 

“More than okay,” you sigh. 

As a test, he shifts his hips. When Kakashi hears your breath hitch, he knows that you can handle more.  

He starts slow, rocking into you sensually, but he already knows that he isn’t going to last. It’s been just as long for him, and you’re tighter than you’ve ever been.  

“God, Kakashi, you feel so good.”  

So do you. Kakashi sucks a bruise on your neck in response, if only to muffle the sound of his own pleasure when your perfect cunt clenches around him again.  

He needs to pace himself, or he’ll finish too soon—but then you ask him for more, and what else can he do but oblige you?

He speeds up, not overly so, just enough that both of you can hear the slick, sloppy sounds of your lovemaking. The smell of your arousal permeates the air, and he’s tempted to have another taste. 

Later. 

“You’re so wet,” he murmurs into your ear. “Did you miss me that much?” 

Maybe he’s reassurance-seeking – just a little – but your answering whine tells him what he already knows. 

He’ll miss this. He’ll miss you. That’s why he needs to go. 

“Stay with me,” you rasp. You’ve always been good at noticing when he’s stuck in his head, but right now, Kakashi can’t help but wonder if you’ve just read his thoughts. You see through him so easily. It’s one of the things he likes about you. 

“Sorry,” he says with genuine apology, leaning in to capture your lips again. You let out a pleased hum into his mouth and lift your thighs up a little higher—an offering, one he’s more than happy to accept, even if he doesn’t plan to reciprocate.  

It’s selfish, he knows. 

The new angle does something to him, or maybe it’s because he's well aware that it would be even easier to fill you up this way. He reaches deeper like this, and the tilt of your hips would perfectly hold his cum in place, increasing the chances that it’ll take. 

He wants it to take. 

Kakashi exhales a long, shaky breath. He shouldn’t want that as much as he does. He shouldn’t want it at all.  

“Close?”  

Yes, but he’s not going to tell you that. Kakashi pulls back to look at you, only to find you gazing up at him like he’s hung the moon. It makes his heart ache.  

He stamps it down. 

“I could be,” he teases lightly—a non-answer. “Are you?” 

When you open your mouth to respond, however, he snaps his hips forward suddenly to make you trip over your words. “I— shit,” you swear, and his eyes shine with silent laughter. Your own narrow playfully as you add, “I could be too, if you keep that up.”  

“Really?” 

To pick on you a little, Kakashi withdraws from your tight heat more slowly than he has all night, agonisingly slowly, until only the head of him remains inside; and then he lingers there, purposely, until the stirrings of impatience start to take you over.  

It’s cute, the frown you give him, the pout he sees beginning to form.  

“Don’t be mean,” you tell him sulkily. 

His lips tug up at the corners, revealing a hint of prominent canine. “Maa, I didn’t realise you were in a rush,” Kakashi drawls. “And here I wanted to take my time with you.”  

Before you can read too much into what he’s just said, he slams home. Hard.

Your startled gasp brings on a flicker of self-satisfaction deep within. Kakashi relishes in the knowledge that only he can make you feel like this—especially when he starts to fuck you in earnest, prompting you to fling your arms around his shoulders.  

“F-Fuck, Kakashi, oh my god—” 

“That’s it,” he encourages gently. “Hold onto me.” He likes the closeness of it, the intimacy.

You cling to him like your life depends on it, which brings about a funny feeling in his chest that he can’t quite shake—something warm and gooey and affectionate.  

Kakashi stamps that down, too, and traces the line of your neck with his tongue, kissing and sucking at your sensitive skin until you shiver. Seeing your throat so littered with love bites unearths something within him, something primal, that he’s always refused to name.

He likes seeing the marks he’s left on you. He wants them to mean something. He wants them to mean that you’re his. 

He’s too attached.  

To distract himself from what he intends to do in the morning, Kakashi picks up the pace, flesh smacking against flesh as he snaps his hips into yours, fast and rough, exactly how you want it.  

It doesn’t last long. He’s too worked up.  

Kakashi knows he’ll come before you do if he continues like this, but when he tries to slow down, you dig your heels insistently into his ass. 

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop, please—” 

“I’ll have to pull out soon,” he says raggedly, even though the thought of finishing in you already has him ready to blow.

When Kakashi feels you lock your ankles behind him, he nearly does.  

“Come inside me,” you whine, your breath fanning hot over the shell of his ear.  

His thoughts screech to a halt. You want him to come inside you, knock you up— 

“Fuck,” he curses, stopping abruptly, buried all the way to the hilt. His cock throbs wildly, desperate for release, forcing him to tightly grip the the sheets above your head in order to stave it off. 

If he moves right now, he’s done for.  

When you make a quiet, frustrated sound deep in your throat and wiggle your hips, Kakashi barely manages to hang on. He can feel that tell-tale flutter inside of you, the one that indicates exactly how close you are, but he’s closer. His breaths come out in short, sharp pants as he tries to hold himself together.  

You finish first. Always. 

“Don’t be mean,” you say again, but you sound a little more petulant this time.  

Kakashi lets out an exhausted sort of laugh and presses a wet smack of a kiss just beneath your ear, making you giggle. “You like it when I’m mean.”  

“I like it when you’re nice,” you clap back, voice breathy. 

Kakashi hums knowingly. “All right. I can be nice.”  

Then he pulls back just enough to pepper your face with kisses, and you squeal in delight, though it soon tapers off into a moan when he starts to trail them down your throat, each one more sensual than the last. He palms one of your breasts, gently squeezing, tweaking a nipple— 

“Come on,” you whine, digging your heels into his ass a second time. 

He laughs softly at that. No more teasing. You want him to be nice.

You inhale sharply when Kakashi picks back up where he left off, this time with quick, shallow thrusts that target your g-spot. He smooths his hand down your side, savouring the softness of your skin, then he slides it in between your bodies to rub your clit in just the way you like—the way he remembers you like, because he’s too fucking attached. And sure enough, when your hips buck from the added sensation, he knows that it’s working for you. 

“If you—If you edge me again, I swear to god—” 

Upon hearing the indignation in your voice, Kakashi laughs softly. “I won’t.” 

Then he remembers that he won’t have a chance to edge you again. Not after tonight. 

His jaw tenses at the reminder. 

“Fuck, I’m so close,” you gasp, holding onto him, needing him, which pulls him right back into the present. “Come with me. Please?” 

Kakashi bites back a groan and slides in deeper, readying to do what his body craves. 

No. He can’t come with you. He’d have to finish inside in order for that to happen. 

And just like that, he’s back to teetering on the edge. The filth his mind conjures nearly proves to be his undoing—a vivid image of your tight, wet cunt wringing out every drop of his cum until it takes, tying you to him, making you need him. Making you his. The threat of it simmers under his skin, but it’s starting to feel more like a guarantee. 

Get her there, then pull out. 

Kakashi repeats those words in his head like a mantra, over and over, like it’ll ensure that he lasts, and it works—at least until you start to move your hips in time with his thrusts. You meet him at the perfect angle, sucking him deep on every stroke, allowing him to slide just beyond your cervix and into that spot that sends your voice into a fever pitch. 

A choked sob escapes you as you rake your nails down his back, leaving red lines in your wake. The sting of it only sends him higher, and he sinks his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder to prevent himself from blowing too soon. 

“Right there, Kakashi, right fucking there—” 

Right there, so deep within you that if he came right now— 

He groans when he imagines what would happen, and it all ends with his baby in your belly and his family crest on your back. It shouldn’t turn him on as much as it does, yet he fucks into you with purpose, now—hard, deep, powerful thrusts that knock your headboard into the wall. 

Kakashi knows exactly what that purpose is. The primal part of his brain won’t let him forget it. 

“Yes, just like that, fuck me, make me fucking yours—” 

He kisses you to shut you up, because if he hears another syllable, he’s sure to fill you to the brim. It’s not a gentle kiss, not now. He holds your head in place with a firm grip on your jaw, shoves his tongue into your mouth to assert his control, and still, he recites his mantra. 

Get her there, then pull out.  

Get her there, then pull out.  

Get her there, then—  

You jerk your head away to gulp in a breath of fresh air, chest heaving from exertion, and Kakashi’s eyes sweep over your face for any sign of discomfort. What he finds is the opposite, and he drinks in the pleasured scrunch of your brows, the hazy flutter of your eyelids, the kiss-swollen state of your lips. 

Seeing your muscles tense and strain as you struggle to keep your eyes on his is one of the most intimate things he’s ever experienced.  

“Come inside me,” you beg, and he can hear the desperation there, see it written all over your pretty face. “I need it, I fucking need it, Kakashi, give me your cum—” 

“I’ll give it to you,” he chokes out. Anything for you. Anything you want. 

The way your fingers wrench into his hair belies a hunger that matches his own, and you drag him down for another kiss, messy and insistent, demanding that he make good on his promise to pump you full. He can feel the ripple of your inner walls as you come undone, feel the painfully tight squeeze of your legs around his waist, holding him there, ensuring that he stays; and never in his life has he felt so overwhelmed.  

He can’t pull out. Not now. Not when you’re so willing to milk him dry. 

Kakashi kisses you with everything that he is as he shoves himself impossibly deep inside of you, acting solely on instinct to drown your cervix in hot, sticky spend. He lets out a sound of pure male satisfaction that you eagerly swallow down, your tongue massaging his in tune with every erratic jerk of his hips as he empties himself inside of you, painting your insides white, marking you as his.  

It feels good. It feels right. 

He’s too attached. 

He doesn’t care. 

As he comes down from his high, all Kakashi can think about is how fucking risky it is, what he’s just done, which only ruins him more when the post-orgasm clarity finally hits. 

Why the hell did he do that?  

What the hell did he do?

Your thighs tremble and shake, a sign that he’s done his job well, though he feels no pride in it—just a growing sense of panic.  

He needs to go. He needs to go right now. Not tomorrow. Now. He needs to get the hell out of here and never look back, right fucking now.  

Then he hears your quiet sob, and his heart leaps into his throat. Kakashi jerks his head down to look at you, and when he sees the tears rolling down your cheeks, he actually does panic.  

“Did I— Shit,” he quickly pulls out to check on you, more attentive than he’s ever been, “Did I hurt you?” 

It wouldn’t be the first time he’s accidentally hurt a woman during sex, but he really should have taken it easier on you. He probably went too deep and hit your cervix a little too hard. That’s what usually tends to happen. 

“No,” you sniffle. “I’m fine. I just... I really missed you.” 

Fuck. Don’t say that. You’ll make him want to stay.  

His eyes soften as they trail over your features – the colour of your irises, the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips – and he gently smooths your tears away with the backs of his fingers. “I didn’t hurt you?” 

You shake your head and offer him a watery smile. “I also came really, really hard,” you add matter-of-factly, and he huffs out a relieved laugh. It’s hormonal, then. “They’re happy tears, Kakashi. Calm down.” 

Teasing or not, someone telling him of all people to calm down is an otherworldly experience. The phrase lands strangely, and for the first time since he came to see you tonight, his thoughts quiet down to a dull background murmur. 

They’re happy tears, you said. 

You’re happy with him. 

He’s happy with you, too. He doesn’t want to go.  

You frown, then, and lean up onto your elbows to look at him more closely. “What’s wrong?”  

Kakashi can’t be sure what you see in his expression to warrant that sort of question, but the fight finally leaves him. He sits back on his heels and drags a hand down his face, feeling defeated for a reason he can’t explain.  

“I was just...” Happy, for a moment. Happy to be with you. “Worried,” he finishes lamely. He can’t look at you, not when he feels the heat of a blush creeping up his neck. 

You laugh and turn him back towards you, gently cupping the side of his face. “Okay. Well, I’m fine,” you pat his cheek in playful reprimand, “but I am leaking all over my clean sheets, and it’s your fault, so...”  

That draws his attention. When Kakashi sees the creamy mess spilling out of you, his flaccid cock twitches with interest even after he remembers why his stomach is in knots.  

“We shouldn’t have done that,” he says hoarsely, transfixed by the sight. 

He wants to do it again.  

He shouldn’t want to do it again. He feels fucking crazy for having done it once already, when the two of you aren’t even in a relationship, let alone in any way prepared for a child. But again? A second time? He’d have to be certifiably insane. 

“It’s fine,” you reassure him, and Kakashi wonders how the hell you can possibly be taking it so in stride. He came a lot. There’s so much of it dripping out onto the sheets that it’s starting to create a small puddle under your ass, and there’s even more inside of you—a lot more, judging by how hard he came. 

It might take. It might seriously take, and you think it’s fine? 

“You’re doing it again,” you tell him, and his eyes snap back up to yours. He’s in his head again, you mean. Then you chew your lip for a moment, hesitation evident, before you ask carefully, “You’ve been acting a little… off tonight. Is everything okay?”  

Every single one of his instincts is telling him to run. That’s where this conversation always leads, but he’s not ready for it. Not yet. Maybe not ever. 

He swallows thickly. “I’m fine.” 

When you frown at him, skeptical, Kakashi shifts uncomfortably under your gaze.  

“Okay. I won’t pry. But, um, I’m here. You know. If you ever need to talk.” You say it a little awkwardly, like you aren’t sure if he’d be offended by the suggestion, and the worried crease between your brows only grows at whatever you see in his expression. “Or... Or not.” 

You laugh nervously, then, and shift away from him, only to wrinkle your nose when more of his cum oozes out of you.  

It’s cute. You’re cute. 

“You said it’s fine. Why?” The question leaves him before he even thinks it through, but it’s too late, now.  

“What?” 

This wasn’t the first time he’s come inside of you, not by a long shot, but it’s certainly the riskiest. “I finished inside. Why aren’t you more upset?” 

“What do you mean? You finish inside me all the—” Then you stop, and your brows shoot straight up onto your forehead. “Wait, is this because of my birth control?”  

“Well, it’s overdue, isn’t it?”  

You stare at him for a prolonged moment, and he can almost see the gears turning in your head. Then your nostrils flare. “Are you kidding me? You thought my birth control was overdue, and you still—” Scandalised, you slap him on the arm. “Kakashi!” 

Oh. Well. It must not be overdue yet, then. 

Of course you wouldn’t let him come inside if there was a chance that you might conceive. He’s a fucking idiot. 

“That’s so bad! What if you actually got me pregnant?” 

A lick of heat shoots up his spine upon hearing you give voice to what’s been on his mind all night. Kakashi stares at you, wide eyed, and blushes all the way to the tips of his ears.  

You study his face for a moment, before you purse your lips, looking a little troubled. Or pissed off. He can’t really tell. “I mean... Did you want to get me pregnant?” 

“No,” he rushes to say, his cheeks burning hot because yes, he did, but not for real.  “No. Not at all. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, and...”  

How the hell is he supposed to explain himself? Neither of you are exactly vanilla, you’ve explored a number of kinks together, but this is something else entirely. Then again, a breeding kink would make the most sense out of any, considering it stems from a biological urge to procreate. 

But would you even believe him if he said he only gets off to the fantasy of it, and not the reality? Because if a woman ever said that to him, he’d run away as fast as he could. 

A sly smile tugs at your lips, then, a knowing smile, and Kakashi quickly averts his eyes to the window, embarrassed. 

“You like it, don’t you?” you hum, seductively walking your fingers along his shoulders. “You like the idea of knocking me up.” 

Refusing to look at you, Kakashi clears his throat, trying to ignore the arousal that comes on from your suggestive tone, never mind the words you speak in it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“No?” The sheets rustle as you reposition yourself, and then, when your fingers delicately wrap around his cock, he inhales sharply and bites the inside of his cheek. “Then why are you so hard?”  

And he is, too. He’s already fully erect and ready for another round, and he knows that there’s no way to lie his way out of it anymore. As you start to work your hand over him in slow, sensual strokes, up and down, coaxing the answer out of him, his head drops back. 

“Because,” he rasps.  

The sheets shift again, and then you crawl into his lap. He welcomes you gladly, splaying his hand over your lower back to steady you, though he still can’t face you. He’s too embarrassed. 

“Because why?” you ask breathlessly. Kakashi lets out a pleasured sigh as you kiss and suck your way up the side of his neck, stroking him steadily, before you purr into his ear, “Because you want to give me a baby?” 

A soft sound of approval rips out of his throat, and his cock twitches into your palm. “Don’t—Don’t say that,” he pleads. 

“Hm? Why not?” 

To hell with it. No sense in hiding it anymore. “Because I might actually do it.” 

“Yeah?” Your teeth tug playfully at his earlobe before you pull back to look at him, and Kakashi finally wills himself to meet your sultry gaze, humiliated though he is. “You know,” you muse, “I don’t like condoms for a reason. Do you know why?” 

The breath leaves his lungs with a whoosh.

Oh, he should have known. You’re just as filthy as he is. Of course you’d have a breeding kink, too, though he’s exceedingly grateful that you’d kept it to yourself until now. You’ve never been shy about sharing the things you enjoy, which means you probably figured out how he’d react. That’s the only explanation. 

He likes that you understand him as well as you do. 

He likes you.

“I think I might be able to guess,” Kakashi says knowingly, a smile playing at his lips. When he leans in to kiss you again, all he can think is: maybe it’s not a bad thing to be too attached. 

—

Snippet #1:

“You said it was overdue,” Kakashi tells you. 

“No, I said I needed to make an appointment,” you correct, and he can see that you’re struggling not to laugh. “I still have, like, a week left on it. I just didn’t think I’d be able to get an appointment that soon. It doesn’t hurt to be careful.” 

While you cook breakfast for the two of you, Kakashi wraps his arms around your waist from behind and traces the shell of your ear with his tongue.  “And what if I don’t want to be careful?”  

He feels the shiver wrack your body, but then you do laugh at him. “Down, boy. Three rounds wasn’t enough for you?” 

“Oh, I don’t know...” Kakashi pulls you back against him, allowing you to feel the answer for yourself. “You tell me.” 

—

Snippet #2:

Kakashi hides his face in your pillow, feeling distinctly vulnerable without his mask. “Don’t tease me,” he groans, muffled. “I have a delicate constitution.” 

You cackle at his discomfort, like the cruel woman you are. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I’m really, really curious.” Then you hum thoughtfully. “Do you want to know one of mine?” 

He shifts his head just enough to reveal one curious eye. 

You squirm a little, then, like you’re finally starting to realise exactly how embarrassing this is to talk about. “I, um...” A pause. “So, you know how...” Another pause, and you take a deep breath. “Okay. I like to imagine that I'm being used to—to repopulate a clan, I guess. Just, over and over. Lots of kids. But not for real.” 

He feels another jolt of arousal at your admission. 

Looks like you’re on the same page, then. 

Then Kakashi leans up onto his elbow to regard you properly, and then he lifts an eyebrow, as if to point out how closely that particular fantasy hits to home. 

That’s when you seem to realise who you’re talking to – the sole remaining member of a clan that could probably stand to be repopulated – and your eyes go wide, before you nearly trip over yourself to add, “It—It has nothing to do with your clan, specifically, Kakashi, it’s just—” 

“A fantasy,” he finishes for you, amused. 

 You worry your lip between your teeth and nod. 

“Well,” Kakashi says, considering his answer for a moment, “I might have imagined that, too. Specifically.” Then he gives you a roguish grin, intending to pay you back in kind for your teasing. “How many children do you think would be enough for my clan to be sufficiently repopulated, hm? I’m thinking eight.” 

Mortified, you bury your face in your hands. “Oh my god! Eight?” 

Payback’s a bitch. “Well, I was originally going to say ten, but—” 

When you squeal in embarrassment and yank the blankets over your head, Kakashi barely manages to stifle a laugh.  

—

A/N: This is the first thing I've posted in a hot minute, so your feedback would mean a lot - please let me know what you think :)

#kakashi smut #kakashi x reader smut #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi imagine #kakashi #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi

[waterhousse]

I Saw Her For the First Time

I saw her for the first time, and I was lonely for the last time

Pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

Summary: you’re practically the girl of her dreams. it’s a shame her friend saw you first.

Author’s note: HELLO i’m back at it again with pure fluff. i didn’t know exactly how to label this one so i just put modern ellie but it has a little bit of guitarist ellie and also nerdy ellie. hope you like it !

Photo creds: elliesxgun and vamp4r3 on pinterest :)

I stand with Palestine, you should too.

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• • • •

ellie was absentmindedly playing a made-up melody on her guitar, softly strumming away as she listened to the conversation her friends were having. lisa, her roomate and vocalist of her band, was telling everyone about the new girl she had been talking to. it was the first time she heard your name.

"she's hot,” was dina's final veredict once she was done scrolling through your profile. she passed the phone to jesse, who immediately agreed.

“i know. she’s really cool and funny but she’s really into comics and fantasy movies and i don’t know shit about that.”

"so, she's a nerd."

"basically, but a pretty one. it’s just that ninety percent of the time i don't know what the hell she's talking about." lisa's complaint was followed by a tired sigh as she threw her head back on the couch. then, she looked to her side, where ellie was. "she reminds me of you, actually."

she instantly frowned, "are you calling me a nerd?"

“i mean…” jesse trailed off before dodging the water bottle ellie threw at him.

"you like all those things, right? maybe you could help me with her."

"help you how, exactly?"

"well, i kinda already told her i like all of what she mentioned so whenever that comes up you'll take over and say whatever makes me look cool."

"what's in it for me?"

ellie sat emotionless as her friend began listing everything she could do for her in exchange for her help, such as deep cleaning the apartment or buying her favorite snacks every day.

she let out a low whistle, “someone's desperate.”

“dude—”

“why can’t you just talk to her about something else?”

“because i already told her i liked all of that stuff! keep up.” lisa rolled her eyes. “tell me if it’s not worth it.” she quickly typed in your instagram username and passed the phone to her.

ellie’s eyes almost widened at the sight of you, but she managed to mask her reaction just in time. she silently scrolled down your instagram profile, clicking on the posts that caught her attention the most.

"so, what do you think?"

"uh, she's alright."

you were more than alright.

"you have such high standards,” dina huffed.

yes, and you apparently met them all.

lisa snatched the phone back from her hands as the group began discussing a new topic; ellie’s picky taste in women, even when they practically threw themselves at her. it had been a while since her friends last saw her on a date or even having a crush.

ellie threw her head back with a groan as she stood up from the couch, “are you going to keep talking about me or are we gonna rehearse?”

their band was a regular on friday nights at one of their town’s most popular bars. over the time they had been playing there, they had gathered an audience of people that went to see them. ellie would hate to disappoint them, or maybe she just hated when the conversation was centered around her.

“i think we’re gonna keep talking about you,” dina joked as she picked up her bass.

once rehearsal was over, lisa practically ran to her phone to check if she had any new messages from you. apparently, she had asked to go on a date next week and you had said yes.

“you’re gonna to have to teach me everything you know,” lisa mumbled to ellie with her eyes glued to the phone as she quickly typed her reply to you.

“great, just how i wanted to spend my free time.”

even though ellie had no real interest in doing that favor to her friend, she stuck to her word. whenever the “nerdy topics”, has lisa had called them, came up, she took over the conversation. that part of the plan wasn’t awful, in fact, ellie secretly enjoyed the moments she got to talk to you, but she had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t actually talking to her, but lisa.

it had been a confusing last couple of days.

“just try to not let those topics come up in the conversation and if they do, just agree with everything she says,” ellie advised lisa, because not even her intensive teaching could help the poor girl to memorize anything. “re-read the conversations i had with her. that could work. especially the one we're having right now."

“you’re trying to sound like me, right?”

“sure, i’m making some spelling mistakes and everything.”

“fuck you,” lisa laughed from the bathroom. “alright, tell her i’m on my way.”

“remember to read the last few messages in case she brings them up.”

“thanks, el. see you later!” and with that, she was out of their shared apartment.

ellie sighed, dramatically plopping down on the couch. she swept her gaze over the living room in hopes to find something to do to keep her mind occupied, but nothing seemed appealing enough. she used her phone for a bit, but she couldn’t fully concentrate on what she was seeing.

after tossing and turning for a while, she ended up falling asleep. it wasn’t until two hours later she was suddenly woken up by lisa’s voice mixed with somebody else’s. the sound of the door shutting closed was what made her fully open her eyes, instantly setting them on the two people that had just entered the apartment.

“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” lisa apologized, but ellie didn’t even acknowledge her. instead, she looked past her friend to the person behind her.

you were standing there, an apologetic and slightly embarrassed look on your face. “i didn’t mean to intrude, i’m sorry.”

ellie sat up straight, her fingers combing through her short hair in an attempt to make herself more presentable. “it’s fine, don’t worry.”

an adorable smile formed on your lips, “you’re ellie, right?”

you didn’t wait for her confirmation and proceeded to introduce yourself while she thought about how crazy it was that you didn’t know how many times you two had already spoken.

ellie remained silent, watching you smile shyly at her. then, she realized she hadn’t said anything in a while and it was probably really weird. “it— it’s really nice to meet you.”

“i’m going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back,” lisa said before gesturing you to take a seat on the couch.

hesitantly, you sat down next to ellie. there was another moment of silence in which you looked at her with uncertainty, fearing she might be uncomfortable with your presence. you didn’t know if it’d be best for you to talk to her or to just wait for lisa to come back, not wanting things to get even more awkward.

when ellie returned one of your quick glances, you decided to say something.

“sorry about coming here without letting you know first. i can’t go home yet, my roommate has a guy over,” you admitted with a grimace.

ellie nodded, laughing softly at the reason you were there. “i don’t mind, really.”

“thanks, anyway,” you grinned.

“so, how’d the date go?”

“uh, good.” your answer wasn’t completely honest, ellie could tell. she narrowed your eyes at you, not wanting to pry but at the same time dying to know.

“are you sure about that?”

“you’re her friend, i can’t gossip about her with you.”

“we’re actually not that close.”

you playfully bumped your shoulder into hers before your eyes set on her for a few seconds. she tilted her head as she returned your gaze, silently trying to convince you to talk.

“i don’t know if you’re very persuasive or if i’m just too weak.”

ellie’s smile widened as you sighed, giving in.

“i had a great time,” you began, searching for the right words to say, “but we didn’t hit it off as well as we did through text.”

“that’s weird.” her mumbled words were followed by an awkward chuckle.

“yeah, i know. don’t get me wrong, though, she’s great, but it felt like i was hanging out with a friend. that spark, i guess, you hope to feel on a first date just wasn’t there.”

ellie nodded as she took your words in. “i’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“oh, it’s fine. we talked about it on the way here. it’s all good. actually, she invited me to see you guys play on friday. you’re the guitarist, right?”

“yeah,” ellie smiled proudly, sitting more comfortably on the couch. “we’re really good. well, you’ll see for yourself. don’t wanna get your expectations too high.”

“it might be a little too late for that,” you replied just as lisa came back.

there was a smile on her lips, she had managed to hear the last bit of the conversation. “we’re great, actually.”

you hummed, “we’ll see.”

“hey, want me to show you the records i was telling you about?”

“can you tell me where the bathroom is, first?”

“sure, it’s the door at the end of the hallway. come to my room afterwards.”

“got it.” you nodded as you stood up from the couch, ellie’s curious eyes following you.

she looked away just in time, because lisa’s gaze fell upon her the moment you were out of sight. “what do you think?”

“she’s cool. plus, she friendzoned you so i gotta give her more points for that.”

“she did not friendzone me!” she protested in a hushed voice. “we friendzoned each other, it was a mutual decision.”

“sure, lis, whatever you say.” ellie went to her room immediately after that, not giving her a chance to defend herself.

she was feeling strangely happy about the outcome of lisa’s date. her friend had always been a player, taking advantage of her ‘rockstar’ status. ellie had done that, too, but lisa loved to be involved with multiple people at the same time. with the short interactions ellie had shared with you, she knew you deserved better than that.

ellie opened her bedroom door as she hummed a melody, not expecting to have company. you were by her bed, closely inspecting one of her action figures. she stood under the doorframe, momentarily frozen at the sight. then, a soft chuckle escaped her lips, alerting you of her presence.

“i’ve been meaning to get this for a while—” you began saying, stopping yourself mid-sentence once you looked up and realized that it was ellie the one standing there and not lisa. “oh, hey. what’s up?”

ellie just smiled as she made her way to her bed under your confused stare. “nothing much,” ellie casually replied as she threw herself on the bed. “just love the comfort of my room, y’know?”

your eyebrows rose slightly, immediately leaving the action figure where you found it, “your room? i’m sorry! there were stickers on the door of lisa’s favorite characters—”

ellie laughed as you kept apologizing. she propped herself onto her elbows, waiting for you to be done with your rambling.

“i promise i didn’t touch anything else.”

“it’s okay, i don’t mind,” ellie answered with a half-smile.

“so, this stuff is all yours?” you asked, sweeping your gaze around the room. it was decorated with a bunch of fantasy movies posters and, on the shelves, there were different book collections as well as many other action figures of, coincidentally, most of your favorite characters.

“uh, yeah.”

“i see…” you hummed before your eyes met hers again.

ellie swallowed hard, her confidence quickly fading away. “lisa and i have practically the same taste,” she was quick to explain, hoping you wouldn’t catch the pathetic quiver on her voice.

“right… okay, i’ll see you friday, then?”

“yeah, see you friday.”

you gave her one last smile before stepping out of her room. it wasn’t until she was alone that she became aware of her racing heart. she laid back on the bed, bringing her hands to her face as she let out a heavy sigh.

that night, ellie fell asleep trying to convince herself that you hadn’t figured out she was behind some of lisa’s texts, that you hadn’t been capable of reading her that well after that short conversation.

ellie woke up the next day ready to avoid thinking about the issue as much as she could, but the universe seemed to conspire against her.

the band was having a break from rehearsal, each of them sprawled around jesse’s garage. ellie had taken her friend’s place behind the drums, absentmindedly playing a beat that faltered when dina brought up your name in a conversation she wasn’t even participating in.

“she’s coming to see us play even after you fucked up the date? woah, maybe i underestimated you.”

“i didn’t fuck up the date.” lisa rolled her eyes.

ellie snickered from her place, “then why were you back at the apartment at, like, 10 p.m?”

“whatever. we both decided it was best for us to stay as friends.”

“i believe you, don’t worry.” jesse gave her a pat on her back before mouthing ‘i don’t’ to ellie and dina, who secretly laughed. “okay, ladies, let’s get back to work. we don’t wanna make ourselves look bad infront of lisa’s new friend, right?”

“yeah, she’s got pretty high expectations,” ellie mentioned as she picked up her guitar. the smile on her face didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.

“you talked to her?”

she looked up at dina’s question, who was staring at her, intrigued. ellie frowned, her guitar pick between her teeth as she tied her hair up in a short, low ponytail.

“yeah, why? i’m not some antisocial freak, y’know?”

“every time i take someone home you lock yourself in your room until they leave,” lisa snorted.

“this time i was caught by surprise. i wasn’t expecting you to come back so early,” ellie chuckled at the last part.

“fuck you, ellie,” lisa complained. “y’know what? let’s just get this over with before i stick this microphone up your—”

“okay, fine, fine. calm down.”

rehearsal went by smoothly with the four of them behaving as profesional as they could, sometimes jesse went off beat to annoy them or ellie would zone out in the middle of a song. still, they had mastered their set and they were definitely ready to play, but there was a deep, strange feeling inside ellie.

it took her a while to figure out she was nervous about the upcoming show. it had been a while since that happened to her, so it was extremely weird for her. the anxiety stayed with her until the following day, and it had actually gotten worse.

ellie ended up going on stage with that horrible feeling still present in the pit of her stomach. she tried to remind herself that it was just another show but, at the same, she knew it wasn’t. knowing you’d be in the audience had definitely affected her, but she didn’t want to look further into what that could possibly mean.

maybe she didn’t come, the thought came to mind in an attempt of calming herself down. perhaps if she repeated it enough she’d fool herself into thinking it was actually true.

she was obviously wrong.

you were there, tapping your fingers against the drink you had ordered. just as you were taking a sip, the lights dimmed and the loud chatter became whispering voices that were soon interrupted by the sound of a guitar.

four spotlights shone brightly on the band and you quickly recognized the other two members you had yet to meet. dina on the bass and jesse on the drums. lisa was at the front, she moved confidently on stage, but your eyes inevitably fell on the girl behind her.

ellie was bobbing her head to the beat of the song, eyes glued to the floor. your mouth opened slightly at the sight, it was hypnotic seeing her play. you inhaled deeply, unable to tear your gaze away from her.

it wasn’t until the ending of the second song ellie first looked up. it was only a quick glance at the crowd, but her eyes coincidentally landed on you, making her do a quick double-take. her eyebrows rose, not expecting to find you so soon.

ellie unconsciously licked her lips as she took you in, trying her best not to mess up the song. she forced herself to look away from you and swept her gaze around the place, searching for anything else to focus on. it was in that moment when a girl waving frenetically at her from the side of the stage caught her eye. she was a regular, friday after friday she’d tried to make ellie look at her for more than five seconds but she never succeeded.

your eyes hadn’t left her, so you had been watching the interaction with immense curiosity. you tried to see who that other girl was, but you lost sight of her. when you looked back at ellie, you met her eyes again. there was an amused, teasing grin on her face, which made you laugh.

ellie played the rest of the set practically on autopilot, because she had her full attention on you. to her, you were the only person on the audience. she was performing for you, proudly showing off her skills and with her nerves long forgotten.

your experience wasn’t much different than hers. to you, ellie was the only member in the band worth watching. not that the others were bad or anything of the sort, but there was just something about ellie that made it hard for you to look away. she was too entrancing. the slight smirk she had while playing, the way her hands looked and the prolonged eye contact that she broke from time to time only to close her eyes and get lost in what she was playing.

your world went silent once they got off stage, even though the sound of the people talking around you was incredibly loud. with your head still buzzing, you decided it was best for you to go outside to get some air.

you didn’t mind how cold the night was. you stayed there for what it seemed to be an eternity, getting too caught up in your own mind to realize it had only been a couple of minutes.

your peace was interrupted with the sound of a notification. it was lisa, asking you where you were. outside, you replied and waited for her to come out.

you didn’t expect her showing up with the rest of the band.

lisa was the first to appear in front of you, the huge smile on her face as she went to hug you caused a smile of your own to form. dina and jesse were next, greeting you with nods of acknowledgment and friendly smiles.

“hey! what’d you think?”

“you guys were great!” the compliment left your lips just as your eyes settled on the person who had stayed behind. “hey, ellie.”

her head shot up at the mention of her name, seemingly surprised you had chosen to address her. “hi,” she said before quickly looking away.

before you had the chance to read into ellie’s awkward response, lisa spoke up, drifting your attention away from the guitarist.

“wanna come to our place? it’s movie night.”

the invitation was definitely tempting, but you weren’t sure if dina and jesse would be okay with it. even ellie could be opposed to it, judging by the way her eyes appeared tone avoiding you at all costs.

“uh, i mean, if you guys are okay with me being there—”

“of course we are, c’mon,” jesse immediately replied, placing an arm around your shoulders. “now, tell me all about how you friendzoned lisa…”

you chuckled lightly as you let him guide you to the car, briefly glancing over your shoulder hoping to meet ellie’s eyes. she didn’t look at you once, which made a feeling of uncertainty creep up onto you.

dina, jesse and lisa were the ones who talked the most during the ride. their lighthearted conversation helped to put yours’ and ellie’s racing minds at ease, at least for a bit.

you were still wondering why ellie was avoiding you so blatantly. you were so incredibly caught up in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the pair of green eyes that were watching you through the rear view mirror.

from her place on the copilot seat, ellie’s gaze flickered from you to lisa before looking back ahead.

she could easily ignore you, right?

once you arrived af the apartment, everyone quickly settled on the couches and browsed different streaming sites in search of a movie to watch and criticize.

“this looks shitty enough, what do you guys think?”

“i already watched that,” ellie spoke up for the first time since you were there.

“you have to much free time on your hands, el. i’m sure not even the actors in it watched it.”

the (already poorly done) plan of trying to act normal in your presence quickly fell apart when the sound of your laugh made her look at you and, oh, how she wished she hadn’t.

“i’ve watched it, too. it is pretty shitty, by the way,” you said, not noticing her stare.

ellie’s lips slightly parted as she looked at yours. the same feeling that had taken over her on stage came back to her and she found herself unable to tear her eyes away from you.

god, she was fucked.

“ellie, go bring some blankets and pillows,” lisa told her from the comfort of the biggest couch, waking her up from her trance.

“why don’t you go?”

“i’m too tired.”

“i can help, if you want,” you offered, your eyes meeting hers for the first time since your awkward interaction outside the bar.

ellie was going to tell you that you didn’t have to, but she accepted your help before her mind could catch up with her mouth. you silently followed her to her room. it was the biggest one, so, therefore, she had the biggest closet where they stored a lot of stuff, including extra blankets and pillows.

“here you go, this is the warmest one.” ellie handed you a blanket. “if lisa tries to take it from you, just tell her to fuck off.”

you chuckled, “got it.”

you took the liberty to look around as she searched for the rest of them. her room was definitely a glimpse of who ellie was, you instantly could tell she was an artsy person combined with a nerdy side. various sketches were laying on her desk, as well as books about astronomy and many, many books about dinosaurs. she had a pile of them stacked on her nightstand.

you walked towards them, leaving the blanket on top of her bed.

“you like dinosaurs?”

well, she couldn’t ignore you when you were alone. that would be just plain rude.

“everybody likes dinosaurs,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to reach the last pillow. she didn’t know why she had put them so high.

“to this amount?” you picked one of the books and glanced through the pages. ‘The Great Dinosaur Debate’, it read on the cover.

ellie walked over to you, “is it my fault that they’re interesting?”

you looked up from the book, a playful grin on your lips, “you’re a nerd.”

“look who’s talking.”

“how would you know if i’m a nerd?”

“lisa talks.” and we have, too, actually. several times, she completed the sentence inwardly.

you rolled your eyes, “at least i don’t pretend to be cool on stage.”

“i’m not pretending, i am cool. the best of both worlds, right?” she gloated with an arrogant smile.

you left the book back on the pile and grabbed another one, “you know, i’ve always wanted to learn more about dinosaurs. maybe learn from someone who knows a lot would be nice,” you casually mentioned, hoping ellie would take the hint.

“oh, i have a lot of books i could lend you. these guys know everything.”

she didn’t.

you tilted your head to the side, unable to erase the smile off your face. it was difficult to believe the ellie standing in front you was the same ellie who was on stage an hour ago.

“sure, i’d love that.” with that, you grabbed the blanket ellie had given you and a bunch of pillows and went back to the living room. ellie followed you closely, throwing each of her friends a blanket.

they had finally decided on a movie, so once you and ellie were back they pressed play.

it was a cheap movie about the end of the world and the actors were almost as bad as the special effects. ellie would‘ve found it hilarious if she had been able to focus on it.

you were sitting on the floor with your back against the couch, wrapped up in the blanket she had given you. from where she was, ellie had a perfect view of your side-profile and, even though she felt like a creep, she couldn’t help her gaze from falling on you. especially when you laughed at her friend’s jokes or chimed in with one of your one.

it was practically torture.

once the movie ended, she felt like she could finally breathe again. dina turned the lights back on and, naturally, the first thing ellie did was look at you. it surprised her to find that you were already looking at her.

“i thought you had fallen asleep. you didn’t talk once.”

“i was just too caught up in the movie.” she averted her gaze from you to her shoes, knowing damn well she couldn’t tell you what the hell the movie was about.

unaware of her white lie, you nodded as you continued folding the blankets everyone had left on the couch. “want me to help you take these back to your room?”

“uh, yeah— yes. sure, let’s go,” ellie pathetically tripped over her words before leading the way.

you followed closely, your mouth curving into a small smile at her answer.

silence enveloped the two of you when you entered her bedroom for the second time. you handed her the neatly folded blankets and watched as she stored them.

“i didn’t get a chance to tell you how well you played tonight,” you spoke up, making her glance back at you for a second.

“you think?” she smiled before putting away the last blanket.

you hummed, “couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

ellie’s heart skipped a beat at the memory of your eyes following her every move. it was a miracle she had her back facing you and you didn’t witness the way an obvious flush spread across her face. “i take it i exceeded your expectations, then?”

“yeah, absolutely.”

sending you a coy smile, she clasped her hands together behind her back. “told you so,” she said as she walked past you.

you went back to the living room, where you found the rest of the group vivaciously talking about something that, apparently, didn’t concern you or ellie by the way they went quiet when they saw you two approach.

“guys? i think i’m gonna go. it’s getting pretty late—”

“ellie will drive you home,” jesse quickly said, making the aforementioned look up at him, disoriented.

“huh?”

“yeah?” you looked at her, lips pulling into a small smile.

who could say no to that face?

jesse threw ellie the car keys, mouthing ‘you’re welcome’ while you hugged dina and lisa goodbye. she frowned, silently inquiring what did he mean by that before setting her gaze on you.

“you ready?” ellie asked from the doorframe, waiting for you.

the cold breeze from the night hit the both of you the moment you stepped outside. given how late it was, the neighborhood was deadly quiet. the only thing interrupting the silence was the sound of your footsteps.

ellie held the passenger’s door open for you and gifted you a smile when you thanked her, slightly touching her arm. she let out a shaky breath before getting in the car herself.

after giving her your adress, she started driving in silence. her knuckles were turning white due to the tight grip she had on the wheel.

trying to be as discreet as possible, ellie glanced at you from the corner of her eyes but, once again, she met your gaze.

“what?” she couldn’t help but ask, a smile slowly forming on her lips.

you laughed softly, taking your eyes off her and looking down at your fidgeting hands. “oh, nothing.”

“right…” ellie set her eyes back on the road as she turned on the radio.

the quietness of the night got interrupted by the sound of ‘i want to know what love is’ by foreigner. both of you instantly looked at each other when you recognized the song and burst out laughing.

“woah, setting the mood?”

it surprised you when her sheepish tone changed into a slight teasing one, matching yours, “i don’t know, is it working?”

“maybe, maybe.”

the laughter gradually quieted down, letting the cheesy song’s chorus fill the silence. you shot ellie a quick glance, smiling to yourself as you listen to the lyrics.

“it is great song, though,” you commented.

“classic,” ellie added, eyes on the road.

“absolutely.”

you arrived at your place not much longer after that, since your building wasn’t that far away from hers. ellie turned off the engine and looked at you just as you turned your head to her.

“thank you for driving me and for giving me the warmest blanket. especially for the blanket.”

“you’re welcome.” the smile that ellie sent you back was a little too sweet for you to be able to function properly.

you forced yourself to look away from her, not wanting to look like a creep. unfortunately, you appeared to be destined to embarrass yourself that night one way or another. when you tried to unbuckle your seatbelt, it got stuck. you struggled in silence for a bit before giving up and looking at ellie, who had obviously noticed what was going on and was staring at you amusedly.

ellie leaned over, laughing softly at your helpless expression. “i told jesse a million times to sell this piece of crap and buy a new car,” she murmured, shaking her head.

she was close, way too close. your eyes automatically placed on her, as they always seemed to do ever since you met her. a small smile appeared on your lips when you heard her mutter a series of curses under her breath.

“there.” she returned to her seat, giving you the space you needed to regulate your breathing but, at the same time, the space you didn’t want. you happened to like having her close.

“thank you,” you grinned, but your smile faltered a little when you realized that you had to leave. maybe you were being overly dramatic, but you didn’t know when you were going to see her again, so you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that the night had come to an end. “see you around, ellie. thank you for driving me.”

“see you.” her voice was barely above a whisper.

ellie waited for you to be inside your building before leaving. you waved at her one last time, making a smile appear on her lips.

she didn’t put on music on the drive back home. it was just her alone with her thoughts. it was funny, they all seemed to revolve around you.

she went to sleep that night feeling guilty. it wasn’t right for her to be thinking about you that way. it didn’t matter it hadn’t worked out, lisa had liked you first. you were off-limits.

so the world kept spinning, time kept passing, life kept going, and ellie kept trying to forget about you. it wasn’t an easy task, since you had managed to infiltrate even her most random dreams. if that weren’t enough, you started hanging out with the group more often. jesse and dina had both taken a liking in you, too. she obviously couldn’t blame them.

ellie started making up excuses to miss said hangouts, which made her feel bad but she figured some time away from you would help dissolve whatever feelings were brewing inside of her.

she considered she was doing a pretty decent job, but that was until she ran into you on the street.

“ellie!”

you looked as radiant as always, maybe even more since your beauty seemed to be heightened by the fact she had tried so hard to forget about it. it hit her harder than she imagined.

“hey! uh, what’s up?” her reply came out in pathetic stutters, but you didn’t seem to mind.

“oh, nothing. just on my way home. doing some grocery shopping?” you pointed at the bags ellie was holding, to which she nodded.

“yeah, yeah. we were out of sugar n’ stuff.”

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. you missed movie night at dina’s.”

“yeah, i know. i’ve been busy.”

the hectic sounds of the crowded street didn’t hide the fact that a deafening silence followed ellie’s short answer. you stood there, waiting for her to say something else, or even look you in the eyes.

“listen, um, i gotta go. i’m late for… something. see you around?”

stunned, you watched as she hurriedly walked past you. you tried to make sense of what had just happened, trying to recall if you could have possible done something to upset her, but nothing came to mind.

ellie turned around the corner cringing at her own behavior. she felt awful and spent the entire walk home trying to shake off the embarrassment.

lisa, who was already at the apartment, curiously observed her friend as she helped her put away everything she had bought.

“you okay, dude?” she asked her once she caught ellie staring a little too long at the wall.

“yeah, why?”

“are you sure? you’ve been acting weird lately.”

she sighed, “i’m good, i swear.”

“really? because a little bird told me you seemed off today.”

ellie shot her friend a glance, knowing that little bird was you. “oh. yeah, about that…”

what was she supposed to say? that she practically ran away from you because she couldn’t handle being around you without feeling fucking butterflies in her stomach and that it made her feel terribly guilty and the same time it scared the shit out of her?

“it’s nothing, lisa. i was just in a hurry—”

“do you have a problem with her or something?”

“what? no, of course not.”

“then why do you keep running away from her? you never hang out with us when she’s there.”

“i already told you it’s nothing.”

“we honestly thought you liked her. maybe we’ve been wrong this entire time?” she asked more to herself than to ellie.

ellie let out an awkward chuckle, “i do. she’s cool. why wouldn’t i like her?”

“no, me and the guys had this theory. we thought you liked her as in like her, as more than friends.”

ellie averted her gaze from lisa to the floor, “what?” she asked in a high-pitched voice. “no, i don’t.”

“oh my god, i knew it. you were so making eyes at each other when she came to see us play—”

“we weren’t—”

“—then, i told the others and they noticed the same thing. that’s why jesse told you to drive her home.”

suddenly, her friend’s behavior started making sense and she could not be more mortified. had she been that obvious?

“y’know, she asks me about you all the time, then she plays it off by asking about dina and jesse too, but i know she doesn’t really care about them.”

ellie’s stomach fluttered at the new information, but she shook her head. “that doesn’t mean anything.”

“is that why you’re acting weird? you like her but you don’t think she feels the same? cause let me tell you, she obviously does,” lisa told her, searching to meet her eyes. seeing ellie stayed silent, she spoke up again. “i don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“lisa…”

“ellie…” she mocked her, unable to hide her amused smile. “so that’s what happened? you were worried i’d get mad if you liked her?”

ellie nodded, finally looking at her. “i felt bad.”

“aw, aren’t you a big ol’ softie underneath that permanent scowl?” lisa laughed, making ellie roll her eyes. “if i knew that was the thing holding you back i would’ve told you to go for it a long time ago. i just didn’t want to pressure you, i know you don’t like to talk about that stuff.”

“it’s not the only thing that’s holding me back,” ellie mumbled as she scratched the back of her neck, gaze cast downward.

“ellie she likes you, i mean it. when we were on stage she didn’t look at the rest of us once. not even when i fell, she probably didn’t even notice.”

“you fell?”

“exactly. you two were in your own little world. it’s cute, actually. so, if you’re really interested, ask her out.”

it was painfully obvious how interested ellie was but, even with lisa’s blessing and words of reassurance, she wasn’t entirely convinced you liked her back. there was the possibility you were too nice, that’s all. so, she decided to do something she never thought she’d do.

ellie left it to the hands of fate.

no matter the outcome, the universe would send some kind of signal if she should ask you out. what she didn’t expect, was that the universe would act so quickly.

only two days passed before ellie saw you again.

for some reason, she had decided to walk home after band practice. she was too caught up in her own world to notice anything happening around her, but the sound of a familiar voice snapped her back to reality.

you were talking to a dog that seemed to be attentively listening as if he understood what you were saying. “you can’t pee on strangers. or anyone, for that matter.”

a short, soft laugh escaped her lips at the situation. ellie put her hands in her pockets, a wave of nerves suddenly washing over her at hesitation grew within her. letting out a small sigh, she gathered all her courage and straightened her back. ellie began approaching you with a determined look on her face.

“hey.”

your head shot up, the corners of your lips tugging up in a smile as soon as you saw who it was. “ellie, hi!”

the dog beside you immediately jumped at her, attacking her with several kisses as his tail moved at an impossibly fast speed. ellie chuckled as she kneeled down to pet him.

“oh, i’m sorry!”

“it’s okay, i don’t mind.”

“he must really like you. he doesn’t let strangers pet him.”

“yeah?” ellie smiled up at you before returning her gaze to the dog in front of her.

eh, not really. he’s actually the friendliest dog to ever grace the earth but you’re pretty and you make me nervous. “yeah,” you grinned.

“what’s his name?”

“chip. he’s my niece’s, actually. i’m just talking him for a walk while she’s at school,” you explained, trying not to look to affected by her presence. it was hard.

ellie hummed, deep in thought. suddenly, she looked up at you again, “want some company?”

her question took you by surprise, especially after your last encounter. “uh, yes, i’d like that.”

the two of you began walking at a slow pace, sometimes stopping to wait for chip who got distracted by something that caught his attention. ellie asked how your day was going, and once you were done telling her you asked how hers was. it was a calm conversation, the total opposite of how you two were feeling inside.

“i wanted to apologize for leaving so quick the other day.”

“oh, you don’t have to. it’s fine, really.”

“no, it’s not. i’m sorry, it’s just— um, have you talked to lisa?”

you glanced at her, “not recently, why? did something happen?”

“no, no. i was just wondering.”

“you were wondering because…?”

ellie chuckled awkwardly, realizing what she had gotten herself into. she could play dumb and avoid the conversation, but that would be not listening to the universe and that would be a very dumb thing to do, wouldn’t it?

“you’re just friends, right?”

you gave her another quick side-eyed glance, “yes, why?”

“you don’t like her that way and she doesn’t like you that way either, right?”

you let out a short laugh, “yes, ellie. our date wasn’t what we expected so we decided to just stay friends. i already told you that.”

“then let me show you how it’s done.”

you whipped your head around and stared at her as your surprised expression began to morph into a giddy grin. “what?”

“let me take you on a proper date. are you free tomorrow?”

“really?”

“if— if you want, of course.”

in that moment, ellie knew she had made the right choice and internally thanked the universe for pushing her to do so. the way your face lit up at her words was priceless, and it was also a sign that you were as interested in her as she was in you.

you gleefully accepted her request with a warm smile, one that almost knocked the air out of ellie. she promised to text you so she could tell you the details, and she stuck to her word because once you arrived home there was a message from her waiting for you.

you began texting right away. more precisely, you sent hundreds of voicenotes throughout the day and she happily listened to them, replying with an equal amount of texts and lame reaction pictures (which you loved).

“you’re okay with this, right?” ellie asked lisa for the hundredth time as she was about to leave for your date.

her friend, who was sitting comfortably on their couch, rolled her eyes for the hundredth time, too. “ellie, i swear to god if you ask me again—”

“alright! alright.”

“have fun, dork.”

“yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she grabbed the keys to jesse’s car, who had kindly let her borrow it for the date. “don’t wait up, i know how to keep a girl entertained.”

“fuck you!” ellie heard lisa say before she closed the door behind her. she went snickering to herself the whole way to the car, but soon her cockiness evaporated and, instead, a feeling of uncertainty replaced it.

she began second guessing every decision she made the closer she got to your house. was her outfit nice? was her hair okay? was the bouquet of flowers too much? was the date idea she had planned the most nerdy thing ever thought? the answer to that last question was probably, but there was no time to change it, she was already waiting for you outside.

she shuffled her feet as she moved from side to side, her grip on the stems of the flowers tightening. once she heard someone coming, her head shot up. her lips instantly curved into a smile when she saw you. you had the biggest grin on your face as you approached her. ellie’s smile widened even more when she noticed what you had on your hands.

flowers.

“we’re too cheesy, aren’t we?” you scrunched up your nose, slightly tilting your head to the side as ellie laughed. you proceeded to exchange bouquets, your fingers briefly brushing hers. “these are beautiful, thank you.” the compliment left your lips in a tone so sweet it had ellie melting. “alright, should we go?”

“you’re not gonna leave them to put them in water or something?”

“that’s for when i get back. i wanna show them off first. unless the super secret date location isn’t flower-friendly?”

“oh, no, you can take them. it’ll be fine.”

ellie’s chosen date destination was the museum. it was nerdy but, fortunately for her, you were thrilled once you found out. you kept telling her how excited you were while you waited in line, swinging the flowers around as you gesticulated.

there was a small smile on her lips as she attentively listened to you talk about your first experience in a museum and how you’ve always wanted to go to one again, but never got around to it.

it was strange to think about when ellie first saw you in a picture. you caught her attention right away. now, you were in front of her, gifting her your presence and your kind smiles.

everything was going great, but the constant reminder that she wasn’t being completely honest with you caused a persistent feeling of guilt to set on the pit of her stomach.

“i have to tell you something,” ellie said after a moment of silence.

your eyebrows instantly scrunched together at her tone. “everything okay?”

“you said lisa seemed different in person than through text. she probably knew nothing about the movies and characters she said to like when you talked about it on your date, right? well, that’s because it was actually me behind those texts. just when those topics came out, you know, it wasn’t me always. so, basically, i feel really bad about not telling you sooner. you probably think this is weird, right?” ellie let out an awkward chuckle after her (way too long) rambling.

you stared at her in silence, processsing the great amount of information she had given you in just five seconds. suddenly, you laughed.

“it really threw me off when lisa said she loved anakin and legolas’ friendship. then i saw your room. i knew something was fishy, though i never would’ve have guessed i actually talked to you and you weren’t just telling her what to say.”

ellie hid her face behind her hands, laughing at lisa’s huge mistake. “i can’t believe she got aragorn and anakin mixed up.”

you chuckled, “yeah, and that wasn’t the worst one.”

“oh my god,” she groaned. “wait, so, you knew?”

“kind of. i didn’t ask lisa about it because i didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anything, so i just assumed something like that had happened.”

“and you’re not mad?”

“i wouldn’t be here if that were the case, but thank you for telling me,” you said, smiling sweetly at her and reaching for her hand to give her a quick little squeeze. “c’mon, we’re holding the line.”

much to ellie’s dismay, your hand slipped away from hers. she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed at how brief the contact had been. still, having told you the whole truth, ellie was practically floating behind you.

“by the way, i wanted to tell you something, too,” you started, making her look into your eyes. “going on dates with two different people in such a short time is not like me, y’know? especially if those people are friends.”

“okay…”

“i just don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me.”

“what, that you’re homie hopper?”

“ellie!” you laughed in disbelief.

“i’m kidding,” she playfully rolled her eyes. you watched as her teasing smirk turned into a soft smile.

ellie had never been an affectionate person. in fact, having someone constantly touching her wasn’t something she craved and seeing couples that were too into public displays of affection made her sick. then, she met you.

standing so close to you was torture. every fiber of her being screamed to get closer and, for the first time, she initiated contact. seeing you two were next in line, she took that opportunity to grab your hand and lead you into the museum. she didn’t turn around to see your reaction, but she didn’t have to. you squeezed her hand and intertwined your fingers, indicating that you wouldn’t let go.

you walked side by side at an unhurried pace, taking the time to soak in everything you saw. the rest of the world could have disappeared and neither of you would have cared. in that moment, all that existed were each other and the hushed conversations you shared. the both of you were so caught up in your own little bubble that often forgot there were people around and you had to apologize every time you laughed a little too loud.

ellie knew a lot about everything, you were in complete awe of her. you were certain you could listen to her tell you a million random facts and never get tired of it. the best part was when you finally reached the section where everything dinosaur-related was displayed.

“you said you wanted to learn about them, didn’t you?” she asked with a playful smirk. “you still have time to want to take it back, because i will not be able to shut up once i start.”

you shook your head, smiling fondly at her. “i will listen to every word.”

and you did. sometimes you asked her questions, leading her to talk even more than she intended. it worried her that you could get annoyed, but she could see the genuine interest in your eyes whenever she looked at you.

time flew by much faster than you would’ve wanted. many conversations were shared throughout the whole date. some were meaningful and some weren’t, but each and every one of them would stay engraved in each other’s memories.

you would always remember ellie’s biggest regret, her favorite candy, the first time she fell in love, the age she learned how to ride a bike and how much she hated reality shows.

she would always remember the first time someone broke your heart, that you preferred tea over coffee, your favorite cartoon growing up and your irrational fear of mannequins.

both of you would always remember the comfortable silences you shared during the art section and the way both of you giggled whenever you caught each other’s eyes.

now, standing outside of your building under a starry sky, you already felt nostalgic about a night that wasn’t even technically over yet.

“thank you for today. it totally exceeded my expectations, and they were really, really high, by the way.”

“yeah?” ellie smiled widely before biting down her bottom lip.

“yeah.” you nod, grinning. “i had a lot of fun.”

“me too.”

you kept staring at each other, unable to erase the dumb smiles off your lips.

“did i score a second date?”

“you even scored a third one.”

ellie laughed at your answer, momentarily looking down at her shoes. when she met your gaze again, she felt time slowing as well as her breath. you were the one who took the first step, quite literally, standing closer to her whilst she seemed to be completely still.

your eyes met for a brief moment before you finally closed the gap between you and enveloped you two on a very eagerly awaited kiss. the contact made ellie come back to her senses and she reacted almost instantly, making you smile against her.

you had been waiting for that moment to come since beginning of the night and, yet, you still weren’t ready for the way it made you feel. it was overwhelming, in the best way possible.

“i’d invite you over but, unfortunately for you, i’m a lady,” you murmured as your fingers intertwined on the back of her head, the bouquet of flowers hanging upside down on her back.

ellie grinned against your lips before giving you one final kiss. “goodnight.”

you had said your goodbyes. the next step was for ellie to leave, but she found herself glued to the floor. your soft smile quickly became a teasing smirk when you realized she had no intention to move.

“did you forget how to walk?”

her next move pleasantly surprised you. she raised one of her hands to the back of your neck and pulled gently to draw you into another kiss. it felt so natural, so right.

“i think it’s time for our second date,” she mumbled, smiling dazedly.

“now?”

she was still so close.

“please.”

you weren’t sure how it was possible for you to hear her whispering voice over the loud beating of your heart.

“let’s just— let’s drive around and see where we end up.”

you grinned, immediately nodding at her proposal.

who could say no to that face?

#ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams au

[b0nten]

HOW ARE BABIES MADE?

[SYNOPSIS] ˚⁀➷｡ ran, rindou, sanzu, takeomi, kakucho, mikey and izana being asked by their children how babies are made.

[NOTES] ˚⁀➷｡ reader is implied to be fem, reader is called “mother”, “mommy” etc. this was so fun to write!!! thank you anon for requesting <3 also, i used tenjiku&bonten characters but everything’s taking place in the final timeline.

RAN is definitely the type to try to explain the entire thing, without any second thoughts whatsoever. He’d definitely hear the question, and open his mouth but before gets to say ‘sex’ he feels a book flat against his head. “what do you think you’re doing?” you whisper-yell from the kitchen, curry udon long forgotten on the stove. “explaining to your daughter how she spawned into the world?” he answers, dodging another decor item that you aimed toward him. upon asking, dramatically and over-exaggeratedly of course, so offended because he just doesn’t know what he was doing wrong, you just stare at him. “we agreed to tell her when she’s 14. she doesn’t even know boys have dicks and you want to explain the entirety of sex and how it goes to her? do you even know how it works?” he sighs, defeated, “let’s go eat, sweetheart, i think i made mommy a lil mad.” he says, picking up his daughter, “that last part was uncalled for, by the way.” “suck it up, mr. club owner. ”

meanwhile, RINDOU simply freezes: “daddy, how are babies made?” what? excuse him? oh my lord, he did not expect this to happen this early. why the hell is his five year old son asking him about coital activity, right when you’re not around? fuck him (himself), fuck this situation, fuck you for not being around right now (both figuratively and literally). “you see! when… uhm.. when two people love each other and they kiss, they make a baby!” he mentally face-palms for what the fuck he just said. “so you can’t kiss girls until you’re twenty-one, yeah?” finally, thankfully, his phone rings, and thank the heavens it’s you. “oh my god, y/n—” “rindou, what did i just hear on the baby cam?” “haha, my love! funny story!!!!”

SANZU just goes feral. he’s having a fucking anxiety attack or whatever so he just texts you while your daughter asks her daddy about how babies are made.

TAKEOMI plays it safe, using the infamous stork. “and it just comes flying?” “yeah, it carries a little basket with its beak and gives it to us!” he smiles, playing into his baby girl’s fantasy. “you sound just like my parents.” you smile and his gaze averts to yours, from his seat on the living room carpet. “well, your own stories inspired me, because, to be honest, i was about to shit myself.” “daddy!” the little one yells, stretching out her palm, “1000 yen!” and her father exasperates “god put me out of this misery of only being an atm, you’re just like your mother. ow! what’d i deserve that punch for?”

KAKUCHO handles it like a pro. “papa.” one of his little girls walks up to him, younger twin following her right behind. “yes, pretty girl?” he straightens his back and crouches down, still sitting on the couch. “how are babies made, papa?” the shyer one asks and his face drops for a split second. “i promise to tell you when you’re older, right now it’s classified information!” he jokes, and the girls giggle. “now… who wants to watch doraemon!!” he does the jazz hands and the twins jump into his lap. not long after, you sit down next to them. “if i didn’t know any better, i would have said you rehearsed those lines from the moment you were born.” you laugh, resting your head on his shoulder. he wraps an arm around you, chuckling, and kisses the crown of your head.

if there’s someone (who thinks they’re) escaping this question, it’s MIKEY. “ ‘tou-chan, how are babies made?” blond locks spin toward him, and the big eyes of his daughter look him up and down. “ ‘tou-chan?” she says again, a bit annoyed. mikey sacrifices the motorbike races he’s watching and looks back at her. “ask ‘kaa-chan, i’m not really good at biology.” he smiles when she jumps from her place and runs into your bedroom, where you’re blow-drying your hair. confident that he’s just dodged a bullet, manjiro returns to his priority — the tv. moments later you storm in, hair half wet, still in your bath robe with the kid in your arms, visibly furious. he knows he’s dodged a bullet but is about to get hit by a cannon.

IZANA is at the dining table doing some paper-work for tenjiku and you’re watching tv when your oldest marches into the kitchen, determined. “daddy.” the blond looks up, eyeing back at the spitting image of himself. “yes?” he answers, and you also look back to see what’s going on. slamming a big book on the table, the toddler points to the cover “how are babies made?” you burst out laughing and your husband snatches the book away, making you laugh hysterically. “where’d you find this?!” he questions, and his forehead is already soaked with sweat and he wants to bury himself into the ground. “your office.” he can’t believe his five year old son walked in there and just so happened to find this book: effective positions for baby-making. his cheeks redden and he scans the room to find you and request your help, but he’s greeted with the sight of you rolling around on the living room floor, trying to calm your laughter down. yay.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers x you #ran haitani x reader #haitani ran x reader #rindou haitani x reader #haitani rindou x reader #akashi takeomi x reader #takeomi akashi x reader #sanzu x reader #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #kakucho hitto x reader #kakucho x reader #mikey x reader #sano manjiro x reader #izana kurokawa x reader #kurokawa izana x reader #manjiro sano x reader #ran haitani scenarios #haitani ran scenarios #rindou haitani headcanons #ran haitani headcanons #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #sanzu haruchiyo fluff #izana headcanons #izana x reader fluff #izana fluff

[hearts4chriss]

𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝.

𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐄'𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑

Brothers bestfriend! Chris + needy! Nate’s lil sis

prompt: Nate ( ur older brother ) wants to go out for a bit with some of his other friends and he doesn’t trust you enough to stay home by urself without mom and dad since they won’t be there either. So he asks one of his best friend Chris to stay over and watch you, Matt and nick know ur crush on Chris so they pretend they can’t come.

Part 01

contains: masturbation ( no actual sex ), use of y/n ( sorry I have to ) dirty fantasies ( pet names, rough! Chris, dirty talk, degrading, forced head etc just beyond FILTHLY imagination ), use of vibrator on reader, caught by Chris, FORESHADOWING, fantasy will be like this

Nate are you serious I’m not 12! I whine when said he was gonna find a baby sitter for me knowing how much it pisses me off

I’m Nate doe’s little sister I’m 18, we’ve Been close to his bestfriends the sturniolo triplets. So obviously him being my brother naturally I got to know them.

Nick

I clicked with him superrr fast, I love his energy and when I found out he was gay that just made it all the better because I’ve always wanted a gay bestfriend, and we always have sleepovers :)

Matt

Matt’s absolutely adorable I love him he always helps me calm down whenever I’m about to or am having a panic attack, I remember one time during a test I forgot everything and almost had one and he slid me the answers. Love that kid

now there’s a reason I saved Chris for last,

Chris

chris and I know each other just as well if not even more then I do his other two brothers, we haven’t done anything unfortunately. I’ve had a crush on him since middle school.

First I just wanted to kiss him and hold his hand.

Then go to his house and do some more.

Then now, as an 18 year old I wanted him to fuck my Brains out.

I’m around him all the time since we all live in LA and always hanging out, I always see him shirtless and fucking hell it turns me on, I always get lucky since nick and matt found of my attraction to his brother they always snap me or text me pictures of him.

What sucks is I cant have him. It would take my life 1000 times over for me to be able to fuck chris sturniolo, and it sucks because my brother nate does not play that shit.

He strictly said "your not allowed to date any of them" obviously referring to matt and Chris.

Which also doesn't help because my wants and desires a hormonal teenage-adult girl only grow more whenever he comes around, chris is always there.

Now today, nate had to run some errands and nick matt and chris used to watch me when I was younger if my parents couldn't

Buttt, nick and matt "could not come due to personal issues" so. Your guess is right, im gonna be alone with chris for hours.

That thought alone made me soak in my p-

“Y/n! are you listening to me kid?” My older brother chuckles leaning against my doorway of my room as im on my bed watching "The Vampire Diaries".

“Huh? oh yeah im listening matt and nick cant come so chris is because im fucking 11.” I roll my eyes hiding my excitement from him watching me.

“Don't think of any weird shit alright? He's just watching you so don't-“

“Ugh is he here yet? You're annoying me already.” I groan shifting in my sheets and taking a sip from my celsius hearin our door open, they have a key.

“Welp thats chris.” Nate says tilting his head for me to get up.

I get up from the sheets wearing some pink sleep shorts and a white t-shirt and he raises an eyebrow.

“Your wearing THAT? around chris?” Nate chuckles and I flip him off.

“Hey! I heard that!.” Chris yells coming up the stairs sounding offended.

He's now at the top of the steps. oh my fuck he looks so good.

Its around 6ish in LA right now and hes wearing a black tank top and grey fresh love sweats, slight stubble and his hair was a bit messy which I always liked and my eyes immediately drifted to his natural bulge in his pants as him and Nate were talking.

“Just make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble.” Nate puts his arm around me giving me a hug and Chris chuckles.

“Don’t worry bro she’s safe with me.” He says before dapping him up as Nate leaves the house. yeah safer if you were balls deep inside

Oh god Chris sh-shit so-d-deep inside me

Yeah? You feel me deep inside you baby?

bro she’s like zoning out today. Nate chuckled and I snap out of it

Whatever no I wasn’t! Just go!

Soon after it was just me and Chris so we made our way down to the living room

“Where are ur other two clones?” I chuckle getting situated on the couch before turning on a movie saltburn

“they have “personal issues”.” He said rolling his eyes causing a small laugh to fall from my lips.

“So it’s just you and me little one.” A smirk curving on his lips, just enough for my panties to be soaked.

Shut up Chris I’m 18.I mutter trying to watch the movie in peace and he chuckles

the movie went on and it was now, the bathtub scene where jacob elordi ( Felix ) is jerking off.

I peer over to Chris whose eyes are clearly fixated on the screen as my squeeze my thighs together under the blanket feeling all my hormonal thoughts leaking through my panties.

This had nothing to do with the movie, it’s the thought for Chris doing that to himself that had turned me on most. The tension so thick a knife couldn’t even cut through.

“Uhm I-i gotta go to the bathroom”. I nearly choke and I fix my shorts placing the blanket down where I was sitting.

“Don’t take to long I’ll miss you.” He chuckles and that didn’t help.

I go to my room and close the door squeezing my eyes shut.

I had maybe 5 minutes to relieve myself.

I quickly reach into my drawer grabbing my vibrating dildo and the remote for it.

I pull down my shorts and panties and spread my legs letting the tip of the toy get coated in my wetness and I bite my lip slightly feeling the thickness of it.

I turned it on letting out a soft moan slowly inserting it, wishing this was Chris’s dick instead.

I began thrusting the toy in and out of my pussy letting the squelching sounds of arousal grow letting it drip down curling my toes throwing my head on the pillows allowing my mind to drift

I was in Chris’s/my room my head smushed in the pillows as his cock rammed inside me whilst I was on my stomach. His hips slamming against my ass and his hand wrapped around my lower stomach as I cried out his name

Fuck fuckk so d-deep- I whimper into the pillows as he was bringing me to my 4th orgasm, we had switched numerous positions and my legs were quivering in front of him as he laid a hard snack to my ass chucking behind me.

such a fucking slut letting me fuck you like this, imagine if ur brother found out his little sister was getting her pussy pounded by his bestfriend. He laid another harsh smack to my ass and I jolted forward.

stretched this pussy out so good- he groans rubbing my clit to chase both our orgasms.

ngh- o-oh shit- fuck- I gripped the sheets tightly curses of Chris’s name flew out my mouth feeling my eyes water from the angle of his hips thrusting allowing his thick cock to hit every single spot inside me

come on sweetheart cum for me, you have another one in you yeah? He grunted lowly in my ear kissing me sloppily as a string of Saliva parts from our lips each time we kiss moaning into each others mouths.

“Oh fuck Chris I-“ I curl my toes and yell loudly as I’m about to release on the toy before I look up and see Chris. Was. Watching me.

“Were you playing with yourself?” Chris leans on the doorway of my room his eyes darting to between ny legs as I was thrusting the toy in and out of me and I quickly covered up my cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Uhm…maybe. Sorry I-I’ll be down in a second-“

Maybe I can help. Chris says closing the door to my room approaching my bed

@mattsleftnipple03 @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturniolopowers @gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog @blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chris

@nonamegirlxsturniolo @luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @mattsnymphette @hoesformatt @luv4kozume @kikisturnioloo @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @ast3ro1dzz @sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva @braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @blondiesjailer @kqyslyho3 @sturnsfav @sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @stqrnstars @dlyansworld @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @lacysturniolo @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @leah-loves-lilies @luhsexcbihh @nicksmainbitch

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #smut #nicolas sturniolo #hearts4chriss #babyddolly is my fucking girl #🩷 nate doe’s little sister series!

[gh0vtzb1og]

My girl. Kidnapper au / KONIG X FEM READER

Notes ; kidnapping, non con!!!, blindfolds, bondage, knife and gun play (I have this my all), rape threats, gags, threatening to inflict pain or death. Age gap (23-49), height gap bc my man is 6’11😭

This post was made for the beloved @konigsblog I’d definitely check out their stuff if your interested in dead dove. Their writing is spectacular and their very sweet :)

Konig loved you, he loved the way you slept in your bed naked, the way you’d always be so unaware of who was by you. He’s passed you so many times and you never did bat an eye at him. You never suspected he put cameras in your room, or that he jerked off to your panties, holding them right up to his face and stroking his big girthy cock.

He knew what he was doing, he knew he was gonna take you and use you how your intended to be used. He wanted to Breed you so bad, he couldn’t help but be a damn nerd over you, he knew what panties and bras you liked, he knew what porn you rubbed yourself best to, he knew everything about you.

He loved watching you in your home, he couldn’t wait for your ankles and wrists to be bound, your skin around it a reddish purple from trying to get away, each and every spot is rough and sore. It hurts like hell. Konig was so excited to see you sob and beg for mercy, beg for help and salvation. It would make him go feral, just seeing you with tears already gave him a massive boner.

Konig was standing outside your bedroom window, waiting for you to go to bed. Tonight was the night you’d disappear forever, he couldn’t contain his excitement, the Austrian bit his thumb, rolling his eyes back and groaning into his hand. Why couldn’t he contain himself? You were all he wanted and more, he was gonna breed your cunt tonight, like it or not.

You were laying in your bed, starting to doze off, not an ounce of paranoia filling you. You were in the safety of your own home, you shouldn’t feel endangered when you were all alone in your home! Konig peered through the window, his mask covering his face, just two eye holes to peer through. Konig lifted your window up, just enough to slip through.

His feet softly landed onto the floor of your room, his heels pivoting on the floor and moving next to your bed. This was it.. he was gonna take you and fufill his fantasy. He chewed on his lip, lifting you out of your bed and holding you close to his body.

Konig was gonna tie you up in his basement and rape you, so damn far away from anyone who’d help, maybe he’d bring over some friends aswell.

-

A ball gag was resting between your parted lips, your jaw was held open, saliva running down your mouth and onto your neck. Your eyes opened, trying to adjust to the dark damp basement. The ground was cold and it scraped you whenever you moved, ropes bound your ankles and wrists, the scratchy rope rubbing into your skin every time you struggled. Your body was bare and exposed, the room was so damn cold. Your boobs were hard mounds, perking with arousal whether you liked it or not.

Your cunt was freezing cold from being sopping wet, the floor below you was covered in some of your cum, wait why was there cum? Where were you even.

“Finally awake eh?” A thick German voice called out from a dark corner, you stare at him and let out a confused but scared cry. A cry for help even? Maybe this man would help you, he’d save you from this scary place.

The masked man emerged from the darkness, he had a pistol in his holster, a knife being toyed around in his hand. Your face got visibly pale, your eyes filled with fear. He liked that, it made his cock swell up.

“You seem awful scared? Why’s that honey, hm? Maybe I’ll just slit your pretty throat and watch your blood spill onto the floor?” He watched as you grew more mortified. You were such a sweet girl. Working in a coffee shop, taking some of your hot beverages to the homeless, you’d always help volunteer at the library, organizing books and cleaning shelves.

You were so so so sweet, but that’s what konig preyed upon, someone he could tear apart and break, something that would scream and cry when he touched them. He didn’t wanna fuck drugged up girls or sex dolls anymore. He wanted the real deal, his own little rape doll that’s gonna remember each and every time he uses her.

“einfache kleine Puppe. Ich werde dir nicht weh tun, es sei denn, du zwingst mich dazu.” He practically beamed mumbling those words, his accent slipping into one ear and running out the other. His words were putting you into a false sense of security. You didn’t know what they meant, you didnt know this man was gonna rape you once you got him worked up enough.

“My own deer in headlights..” he tsk’d. Grabbing your face and tilting it up to look at him, he pulled you out of a curled up position. Now your tits and cunt were on display, the cruel man’s eyes went immediately to your glistening cunt. You looked so desperate and deprived, in his eyes atleast. In his eyes you were begging for his cock, you were so pure, and so damn young, your body made him throb against his jeans.

Konig pulled out his pistol, shoving it against your head and undoing his pants. He was gonna finally touch you! He’s wanted so long to do this, so long to rub his thick meaty cock along your pussy. To feel your clit against his tip, to spread you apart and shove his cock deep inside you, he wanted to breed you so bad. He’s been itching to see you knocked up with his babies. Sure their daddy would be a deranged freak who keeps mommy locked away but it’s just what he has to do!

He’ll make mommy fall in love, he’ll fuck her so dumb she develops stockholm syndrome! She’ll melt and drool over his cock, never satisfied without it. He was such a nerd, practically bouncing in his spot while watching her, hopefully she’ll be bouncing too.

Konig spread your legs excitedly. His throbbing cock was so excited to be inside your gummy pussy! His cock looked like it was gonna spear your virgin walls open, he wanted to shove it inside you and never pull out, you’d look too good on his cock.

“Please stop sir please stop I don’t want this,” you cry out pathetically. Not able to convince him to not take advantage of your body here, he wasn’t gonna be gentle. He’d be gentle later when you were sobbing for him to love you, after all you wouldn’t be a virgin anymore. He’d convince you men don’t like whores, and he’d use you until you were one.

Konig pushed his tip into your tiny hole, a loud groan leaving his lips as he gaped your pussy. Feeling it stretching and trying it’s hardest to not tear. Your cunt held his tip tightly inside, konig let out a very pleased groan. Meanwhile you were in the middle of moanish screams. Your body was shaking from the fact konig was shoving deeper into you. You weren’t prepped for this, it was so unfair to loose your virginity in a damp dark basement like this.

You wanted better than what he was gonna do to you.

-

Possibly part 2 coming soon🙏🙏🙏

#konig cod #konig x reader #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig x you #yandere konig #konig modern warfare #konig headcanons #konig smut #konig x y/n #cod mw2 #cod x reader #call of duty #gh0vtzb1ogz #call of duty smut #cod smut #smut writing #writers on tumblr #writing

[ladytemeraire]

The main thought ringing in my head at the three-quarter mark of Jenny Nicholson's Star Wars Hotel video is how badly Disney missed the mark on not targeting the demographic of LARPers, cosplayers, and RenFest nerds as opposed to... whoever the hell they were actually targeting, with that combination of experience and price point.

Like. Not to further out myself as a massive goddamn dork, but there was a span of nearly ten years where I was going to the Ohio RenFest at least once a season, every season. And even there, the years where I went in some form of costume and played along with the actors as opposed to wearing jeans and a t-shirt, my experience was so much richer. There was such a different level of banter and playfulness and entertainment when I actively leaned into the immersion. I had so much fun interacting with the shopkeeps and cast members as an elf or random Fantasy Medieval Maiden, because they saw the costume and on some level went, "You! You are One Of Us!" and matched that energy, and thus gave me the chance to match it in return.

(One year, early on, when my "costume" was a frilly blouse, leggings, boots, elf ears, and a hastily sewn cloak, I had a random older gentleman run up to our group, press a gold coin into my palms, kiss the back of my hand in a very respectful and courtly manner, and disappear into the crowd. No context, no further story or plot or interaction, but almost fifteen years later I still have that gold coin on a shelf of tchotchkes.)

Watching every time Jenny tried so desperately to lean into the Galactic StarCruiser/overall Star Wars experience, to actively engage with the story and the characters, only to be lowkey ignored or actively rebuffed or scorned, legitimately broke my heart a little. (The bit in the experience finale where she was like "it felt like we were supposed to respond somehow, but I didn't because it was embarrassing, which is its own form of Force torture" was simultaneously hilarious and extremely relatable and incredibly sad.) Setting aside the issues with the app and tech, let alone the refusal to address legitimate complaints until she took to Twitter, not even getting a hint of reciprocal interaction from the actors when your choices supposedly matter in your overall experience would be so incredibly disheartening.

Ohio RenFest tickets were about $20 when I started going in high school, plus whatever food and merchandise you wanted to buy. Nowadays, even with inflation, they're still only $35 for adult tickets, which gets you access to everything, and you can absolutely get a full day's experience out of that with only the additional cost for food and beverages. I cannot fathom spending six thousand fecking dollars for two days ("two dollars per person per minute" will live rent free in my head for a while) on what is supposedly an immersive experience, marketed as living out your Star Wars story, only to get the absolute bare minimum in return. It really feels like such an indicator of how modern-day Disney is willing to cut corners as much as possible while leaning on brand recognition, and especially on nostalgia, in order to milk every last red cent out of their customers, until they run out of both money and goodwill. And that is so, so incredibly sad.

#life with ladytemeraire #Star Wars #RenFest #Ren Faire #my maunderings #Jenny Nicholson #I have no idea how to tag this #I loved this essay but it made me both sad and furious #literally every suggestion she made as a form of improvement would have been better than the actual thing #Disney

[littlefreya]

Pictures of You

Summary: While Sy is deployed, his new girlfriend sends him nudes, and now he must take care of 'business' himself while fantasizing about the things he would do to her.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x himself x OFC

Word count: 1,200

Warnings: 18+ (Minors DNI), pure smut, graphic depiction of sex (male x female), male masturbation, bodily fluids, accidental creampie, dirty language, punishment, Freya using "peach". Being caught in the act. A bit of fluff. Not beta'd.

*No permission is given for reposting my work, translating, copying it, or parts of it and claiming it as your own*

A/N: It's been a while since I posted. I am working on a series (plural), but I got inspired by a lovely anon today. I'm not sure if I'm tagging anyone since my tag list is probably outdated and I'm not sure who still wants on. So, if you enjoyed, reblog, or comment, let me know. I'd appreciate it. 🖤

Pictures of You

At last, night unfurled, and the camp became quiet. 

The glorified Captain retired to his quarters, exhausted from a day of training recruits and tedious paperwork. This deployment would be long, and though he loved being The Captain - Logan Syverson was beginning to miss home.

It was all because of her. Sy shouldn't have caught feelings, long-distance relationships were never his thing, but damn, she was something else; a woman way above his league, pretty, hot as hell and way too smart to be with a military grunt like him.

Needless to say, fucking her made him feel like a god. 

Stripping down to his boxer, Sy slumped into his bed with a huff and reached for the private cell phone stuffed in his drawer. 

Twenty unanswered messages appeared on the screen—three of them from her.

Joy painted his face at the sight of her name. Ignoring everything else, he went directly to read her messages.

“Missing my big Sy”, the first message read. 

The other - “something to make you think of me.”  

The last message was simply an attachment. Curious, Sy tapped it open.

‘Fucking hell.’

The unmistakable pang of desire instantly surged through his groin. 

There she was, his sweet woman, naked and spread open like a present unwrapped, especially for him. She was sitting on her bed, one breast gripped by her palm with her nipple peeking through dark-painted nails while her other hand toyed with the sweet peach between her thighs. 

“Fuck,” Sy muttered. Already rock-hard. Absentmindedly, his hand massaged the hefty bulge through the fabric of his boxers, eliciting a deep groan from under his breath. 

‘What are you doing to me, babygirl?” 

It wasn’t just her naked body and the way her finger teased her own slit, but the look she gave him, the familiar neediness in her gaze, the way she bit her lip. 

Damn, if she was here right now… He’d fucking punish her for teasing him so bad! He’d pin her to the wall with his hand around her throat and show her what happens to naughty girls who like playing such wicked games. 

Now he had three fucking months to go, and all he could think of was how bad he wanted to be inside her tight little cunt.

‘Well, guess I’ll have to take care of this myself…’

Springing his cock free from his boxers, he ran his rough fingers up and down the length of his imposing shaft - slow at first, as Sy enjoyed taking his time, just as he would with her. His thumb rolled across the crown of his cock, gently grazing the tip while he imagined flipping her against the pitted wall in this room. Make her take it from behind so he could look at that perfect rounded ass of hers and watch his cock slipping in and out of her body. 

Still holding the photo open, he focused on her succulent cunt before spitting onto his open palm and griping himself once again. Tighter this time, he squeezed onto his girth and began to fuck his own hand. 

Pants and groans sputtered from his mouth, his chest heaving as he gradually picked up the pace. In his fantasy, he parted her ass cheeks and teased her dripping little hole until she begged him to fuck him. Then he forced himself all the way in, making her cry out. 

The sounds of her moans echoed in his memory, so helpless and desperate at the same time - he was nearly too much for her; that narrow cavern of hers could barely take his leviathan cock, but still, she took every pounding, becoming wetter around his shaft as her body not only yielded to accommodate him but lured him deeper inside. 

“I want inside you, babygirl…” Sy mumbled out loud, his hand now moving in ecstatic fervour. Sweat dripped down the contracting muscles of his abs. Soon, he felt himself swell even larger, and his sack strained with the desperate need for release. 

He tightened his grip, now choking his shaft and thinking of how it felt when she came around him. How she contracted all around his cock and shattered like glass smashing on the floor.

“Don’t come inside….” She’d warned him. She wasn’t on the pill. But this time, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from filling her full of his cum, and maybe… he wouldn’t want to… 

It was his fantasy, after all. 

“FUCK!!!” 

With the image spilling inside her, he allowed himself to be swept by the fierce waves of pleasure, his entire body buzzing with bliss as hot, thick ribbons of ecstasy spilt over his fingers. He might have shouted too loudly, but it’s not like he ever gave a fuck. 

It took Sy a few good minutes to climb down to earth, and then he chuckled hoarsely as he noticed the mess he had left on his hand. Shaking his head, he reached for a towel and wiped himself clean before returning to gaze at her photo. 

“What am I gonna do with you, doll?”

Well, there was an idea. He could repay the favour by sending her a photo of himself. Usually, he was against this type of stuff, but what she did was particularly risky for a woman, and if she was bold enough to treat him, he could do the same. Besides, they had three months until they could meet again. He better make sure she remembered who she belonged to.  

He stroked himself lightly. Still semi-hard, he wondered whether he could work himself to another erection this soon when a knock sounded at the door.

“Mother of f…. One moment !!!” 

Sy yelled. Irritated, he briefly tucked his shaft back in his boxers and jumped out of bed. The room smelled rancid, but Sy couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t even bring himself to put on a shirt as he rushed to the door.

“What?” He grunted before getting to see who was on the other side.

‘Well, fuck me sideways.’

It was a woman because why the hell not? Private Hicks, to be precise. The young thing’s eyes flared with surprise and then snapped to the floor to avoid staring at her sweaty, half-naked superior, but not before catching a glance of his hairy, tattooed chest and the semi-erected bulge in his groin.

The strong scent of sweat and sex hit her nostrils like a smack in the face. It took everything not to curl her face. There was no need to put two and two together to realise what she had just intruded. 

“Sir.” Hicks saluted in badly hidden embarrassment. 

Sy let out a deep sigh. Clearly, she knew what he was doing before she arrived. She probably heard him come all over himself right before knocking. Frankly, he wasn’t ashamed. 

“Get on with it, Private.”

“Sir,” she repeated, her voice a slight tremble. “ I’m sorry to bother you… but the Major asked me to get you.” 

Sy scratched the back of his head and groaned deeply. “Tell him I’ll be there in 10.” 

Without any other comment, he shut the door, leaving Hicks to wander back to the Major’s office, all shaken and quaking. 

As she walked away, she couldn’t help but bite her lips. All across her body, she felt those little electric streams of excitement, and her breath suddenly became shallow. She shouldn’t have thought of her superior like this, on what he did behind that closed door just a moment before she arrived, but Captain Syverson was too hot to handle and, needless to say, too loud. 

Well, she’d have to take care of herself later…

#henry cavill #captain syverson #captain syverson x reader #captain syverson x ofc #captain syverson fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfiction #sand castle

[faetreides]

- # 🍁 THE NEMEAN LION !!

feels so ugly when i’m honest

cw: afab reader, ambiguous era, dubcon coded, insp. by this ask, patrick and reader have noncon somno fantasies about the other (so rlly it’s more cnc), patrick is gross and mean, situationship/roommate!patrick, unprotected p in v sex & relying on the pull out method, weed mention and wine mention, art guest star appearance (patrick mentions him), oral (afab reader receiving), hints of: foot fetish, dacryphilia, cnc in general, plus sized!reader, mythological themes, 3k words of me losing my marbles, one use of daddy, we don’t gotta be in love you knowweeeeee i don’t gotta be the oneeee you knowweeeeeeeeew

You’re making him crazy, Patrick knows it. He shouldn’t spend his mornings humping his pillows that you hold in your lap during movie nights. He definitely shouldn’t be stealing your panties and strangling his cock with the lacey fabric that’s going to end up smelling so foul from how much he’ll use the same pair over and over. He thinks he can catch your scent on his clothes when you’ve never actually been close enough to leave a reminder of you behind. Sometimes Patrick gets so frustrated with continuing at this same snail’s pace that he wishes he could just grab your face and smush it into his musky crotch. He’d let you go if you were about to pass out, maybe. You can’t get shit twisted if you’re unconscious.

He’s telling you another one of his stories, hoping to see a twinge of… something swirling in your irises. You just hum too much and squirm a bit, ever the overactive listener. Patrick would cut off his balls if it meant that he could hear anything resembling a moan from you, not just little signs that you’re listening and not speaking. The transformer movie’s reached a point where you don’t really have to pay attention, so you cutely shuffle your mess of blankets around on the couch so you can give Patrick your undivided attention. He’s had to start keeping space in his closet for the large throw blankets you bring along even though you refuse to let him turn the fan off.

“Yeah, I was with Art actually. We ate each other out back in the day, y’know, to see what it was like. He sat on my face and fuckin’ almost broke my neck, his thighs were gripping me so tight.” He coyly tilts his head to the side, pretending to be shy about the whole thing.

He narrows his eyes and analyzes your reaction. You dart your gaze around the room for a split second, struggling to tamper down the blossoming warmth in your stomach and the insecurity that comes with never being able to catch up with Patrick. You’ve confessed to it a couple times, usually after a couple of bottles of whatever cheap alchohol he’s got on hand. His nails shred into his palms with the effort it takes not to give you something to talk about, even if you think they’re only dreams.

“When was the first time someone ate you out? I can’t be the only one shoving my foot in my mouth here.”

God, what he’d give to have your feet in his mouth, and vice versa.

You play with the fluffy black blanket in your lap, making eye contact with one of the cartoon nutcrackers on it and not Patrick as you answer his question. “Oh… I’ve actually never been eaten out, maybe that’s why no one’s made me cum.”

It’s a like his world has been hit by an unexpected asteroid and blown to smithereens, bits of membrane and curdled dna scattered across the milky way. The gross-ness imbued in his bone marrow leaks out into vaccum of space as he processes this truly fucking suprising piece of information. Never in his life has Patrick been told something that just can’t be true, not when there are still good things in the world. Not when that helpful little tidbit will split him open and take over his every waking and sleeping thought.

He shakes his head, blinking rapidly. “What? What the hell do you mean no one’s ever eaten your pussy?”

“I, I don’t know. The people I've been with have just never gone out of their way to do it and I didn't make a big deal out of it.”

His heart’s breaking in half and you clearly have no idea. Patrick scrambles to sit up and grabs your hands to stop them from fiddling with the blanket anymore. There are a thousand things he wants and needs and just has to say but all he can do in the present moment is keep shaking his head and crowding you against the right arm of his tattered gray couch.

“Then they’re so fucking stupid, I can’t believe you don’t know what it feels like to have a tongue up your cunt.” He states, a firm declaration that has you throwing out a hand on his bicep to ground yourself.

Patrick looks crazed above you, dark hair impossibly soft and pupils steadily expanding outward. You slide your hand up his arm (trying to ignore the muscle there, what it’d be like when they flex as he picks you up by your ass) to place it on his firm chest. You open your mouth, trying to cobble together any kind of response you can think of but your mind is blank. Patrick seizes the opportunity and smahes his mouth against yours, when the clashing of your lips is over there’s more blood than spit. He flicks his tongue out to catch the little drops of blood dripping from your lips, moaning after he swallows each one.

You’re catching your breath, “You… you can’t… just do that.”

He rolls his eyes and grins, “I did. I can hear you through the walls at night you know? Rubbing your pussy on one of my pillows that you think I don't know you stole, crying for me.”

Damn, that’s what you get for making risky decisions while you’re ovulating. You knew you washed it and should’ve snuck in while he was out to throw it on his plaid comforter and act like it never happened. The longer you kept it stuffed between your plush thighs, smothering it in the natural scent of your pussy, the more your shyness grew. It was easier to spend your nights like that then explore the possibility of doing something else with your time, but now you’re just wishing that you hopped on Patrick’s stupidly huge dick while he was passed out and snoring and called it a day.

“I… I’m sorry, okay? You can have it back.” You say and keep the grumpiness out of your tone, having to come to terms with hoarding nothing that smells like him anymore.

“Just shut up and be happy, be good for me.” He punctuates it with a mean squeeze to your face, slowly sliding his hand down to hang around your throat and falling to his knees in front of the couch.

Maybe it’s the cheap white wine, maybe it’s the subpar edible you had earlier, but you throw caution to the wind and sink your fingers into Patrick’s hair. Your breath happily flies out of your lungs when he pushes your knees apart, coaxing your white lace panties off with his teeth. The bright lights from the TV cast a glow around him, and you hate how pretty he looks. Like if Hercules was a modern porn star, muscles rippling and eyes spearing through you as he catapults you to the stars.

The roughness of his fingers feels heavenly as he smooths them down your inner thighs, “Nice and fat pussy, dripping all over the place. Saying hi, right? It’d be rude of me to not say anything back.”

So he does, spitting right on your clit and spreading it all over your pussy. Patrick shuffles closer and takes several big lungfuls, humping the air with every whiff of your artificial body wash combined with your much more attractive musk. He opens his mouth wide and latches onto your soaking folds, flattening his tongue and licking broad stripes up your cunt. He laps up your juices sloppily, almost wagging his tongue wildly in an effort to suck up whatever he can.

There’s a coil forming in the pit of your stomach, winding tighter and tighter with every swipe of Patrick’s wet tongue. Your face flames in embarrassment once again, you don’t really know if you look bad from his point of view but you can’t stop yourself from throwing your head back against the couch and scrunching your face up. He gives your asshole an open mouthed kiss, half to tease you even further and half because he just couldn’t resist. It was glistening and winking at him and everything.

“Fuck! Fuck! That’s so- how are you so good at this?” You mewl, raking through his hair thoroughly like you’re searching for something you lost.

Patrick’s ego grows in size and he smiles as he moves to your clit, hollowing his cheeks and suckling rapidly. He buries his face in your pussy and drinks you down in several gulps, picking up speed when you resign yourself to telltale moans about much you need to cum. He flicks the tip of his tongue against your swollen clit and slows down right when you’re apart to fall over the edge. He actually chuckles into your mound and winks when you glare at him. He cuts off whatever bratty retort you armed yourself with by going back to nearly inhaling your clit without warning.

“Ungh- I really-really fucking hate you, but don’t you dare stop, I’ll kill you.”

Each suck sends pulses shooting up your core, and that scary coil in the depth of your guts tightens blissfully. You squirm, the very definition of a hot mess as you grind against his face. The friction was never enough but you keep corralling his nose into your pubic hair, fruitlessly rutting your hips with no end goal other than the urge to hump whatever’s available. You panic for a second that you’ll suffocate him or he’ll be grossed out by you not shaving, but you shouldn’t underestimate him. If anything, Patrick groans at the heady smell. Getting it straight from the source and fucking the air during his suckling.

His eyes never stray from you. Your agonized face straight out of a renaissance painting, too strung out and burning with pleasure to resemble anything normal. Your thick thighs, jiggling with every move you make, you can’t seem to decide between humping his mouth like a bitch in heat or trying to squeeze his head like a watermelon. Your sounds, wails and cries and moans and whines, he’ll have to record you next time, play it anytime and anywhere in case you misunderstand what this is. The first documentation of how much cum and fluid you can paint him in, whatever color or thickness you’ve got for him. He’ll wring it all out of you eventually, film a home movie series to chronicle every squirting session and the like.

Gun to his head, you taste like those old fashioned butterscotch hard candies. Decadent and sweet, if he could he’d sink his teeth into the slippery supple flesh and pull and rip.

After several rounds of cruel edging, your brain whites out so hard, you can almost form the blurry shapes in your peripheral vision into a red spiked tail and horned wings. Patrick’s ruining you entirely, you know that now, and the movie’s already over but you don’t spare the scrawling credits more than a weary glance. Your soul is probably cartoonishly swimming through the putrid air towards your body, but your sweaty body is shaking too much to receive it. There’s a ringing in your ears as you blink yourself into awareness, Patrick unbuckles his jeans and a blunt pressure stretches your hole out.

“Sorry, ‘m out of condoms, I’ll pull out, baby.” He huffs out, praying to whatever’s listening that he doesn’t just start pummeling your shit.

You feel your stomach bunching up before you see Patrick’s dick disappearing into you. The feeling of being split open on something so thick has you reeling, no one else you’ve been with has left you spiraling quite like this. In a room full of dicks you’d be able to spot his, you’d just have to find the one that has the back of your throat tingling and going dry just from a sniff and a look. You’d cry if he pulled out now, it’s already too late for you. This is such a stupid decision, sloppy rough sex with your roomate-turned-situationship on his worn out couch that’s older than the both of you combined.

It’s one hell of a story, and maybe some moments in life should be allowed to boil down to that. The hand loosely wrapped around your throat tightens its hold, you welcome the thumb pushing into your mouth without prompting. The depravity of it all makes you feel owned, has you seriously considering living your life as some guy’s exclusive pet whore. The ‘squelch’s and the ‘schlick’s that come with his savage thrusts and milk white strings connecting the base of his cock to your puffy pussy.

Every breath you think you’re going to be able to take, he steals from you and mocks your whimpery “unh-unh-unh~”’s in his raspy mid-fuck voice.

“This is the only dick you’ll be hanging off of from now on, got it? Can’t let some lousy jackass try to sew his balls to this pussy when it’s not even gonna cream around him.” You say yes to that hissed demand, yes of course, Daddy.

Patrick plunges his cock to the hilt into your cunt in one sharp stroke, gasping and gripping your hip to distract himself from the way your walls are clenching around his length. Every part of you is greedy apparently, you’re perfect for each other then. The position he has you in is so filthy, he’s standing and hosting your legs up over his shoulders, folding you in half on the couch. His dirty levi’s pool around his feet and the sound of his belt hitting the floor inspires awful thoughts in you. Your sweat mixes together and trickles down your legs, sticking to his leg hair.

You can have it soft once he’s gotten this demon off his back and out of his system, you can ride him while you’re cozied up in bed, lazily rolling your hips until you get tired a couple minutes later and clinging to the caresses on your love handles. Patrick has to destroy something before he can even stand to think about putting it back together, your insides and you yourself are no exception. Your walls feel like the finest quality silk around his throbbing cock, leaking inside of you as he clutches onto your ankles. The TV’s automatically shut off by now, and the lack of background noise enhances his animalistic grunts and deep moans.

“Gonna fuck your tits next time, fuck-what the fuck-you’re too damn tight, massage them for you after, rub your cunt raw-“

Patrick fucks like he’s staking claim on a spoil of war, you’re learning, as if the pale ferryman’s hot on his heels and this sliver of time is the only sacred thing he’ll ever get in his wretched mortal life. All his, gone limp between bloody jaws and killing hands. He snarls in your face as he pounds your pussy, angling his hips to stab deeper in you than should be medically possible. You don’t when you start tearing up, but Patrick does nothing to wipe away your tears, not even lick them up. He just fucks you to the point where you’re crying, shutting his eyes as he throws his head back so you can’t see that he’s crying too. The both of you borrow from different sources of emotion.

“You sounded so scared when you were cumming, made my balls twitch, was cute.” Patrick tells you in between messy kisses, more focused on almost eating your face than properly locking lips with you.

His tongue hangs out of his mouth as he abruptly yanks himself out of you and lavishes your belly in ropes after ropes of cum. You’d reach down to dip a finger in and taste it, but you’re too annoyed at the thought that he’s depriving you of an orgasm again. You haven’t even decided whether you’re going to pout or flatbout get up and leave when Patrick’s sliding home once more. You give him a punched out gasp, sort of pained and kind of relieved, in response. He hisses through his teeth, grinding them together like it’s burning the flesh on his cock to plunge back into your searing pussy. Actively breaking and remaking you. Both of your muscles tense up as the wave threatens to crash over you.

“You can cry some more, if you want, I'd like that a lot. Beg me to save you from what I’m doing to you, to this tight pussy.”

Happy or sad, doesn’t matter. He knows you like it when he keeps you from fighting back, you suit being manhandled and made to take dick better than anyone else he’s slummed it with.

He hunches his back forward to kiss you again, and you claw red stripes down it as your tongue maps out every inch of his mouth. He pulls back and you spend several seconds like that sharing breath. You don’t realize what you’re saying out loud, things like ‘Holy shit you’re so fucking big-so good-it’s so fucking good’ and ‘Feels better than i thought it would, how is that even possible?’ It’s like your own little sex obsessed podcast, centering every episode around how situationship dick is on another level and will irrevocably destroy you. Patrick chuckles, he can’t wait to hold every treasured compliment from you over your head. You could say you’re done with whatever this is when he leaves the toilet seat up again but he’ll never forget you howling for him and his cock to never leave you.

Patrick will swing himself over the net into overstimulation before the next time your pussy’s clamping down on his thick cock and spasming, but he’ll be damned if you’re not gonna end up passed out and drooling while the sun rises. You can spend future movie nights cockwarming him, if you can stand to endure the sickeningly perfect stretch without being allowed to get your cunt beat. You’re mewling when you froth the base of his dick again, your walls pulse around him like you’re a cat laving up your favorite cream. Tonight’s not the night where you’ll be getting it straight from the source, maybe when you’re willing to take certain risks. His smiles are the most genuine when you drag out your whine to follow the speed in which he pulls out to paint your body. Tangy ribbons hanging over your love handles and dripping down to your ass cheeks.

#patrick zweig #patrick zweig x reader #challengers x reader #challengers #challengers fanfiction #challengers smut #challengers movie #challengers film #challengers fic #challengers x you #challengers imagine #patrick zweig x you #patrick zweig smut #patrick zweig imagine #josh o’connor challengers #josh o’connor #josh o’connor x reader #patrick zweig challengers #josh o connor x you #josh o connor x reader #josh o connor #josh o’connor smut #⚰️.deaddove #ish #challengers 2024