#what i think their relationship to gender and sexuality would be

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

going to format this like a reddit post because it’s the only way. i (transmasc) don’t know if i’m sexually attracted to the girl (transfem) im having sex with. i’ve known for a while that i’m asexual and fuck for fun, and when i see my friend who i’m fucking, i don’t have any immediate overwhelming desire to have sex with her, unless we’re like, in the moment yknow? like i totally forget that it’s even an option bc i could just sit there and talk to her for hours as my friend bc i love (platonic) her dearly and we have a lot of stuff in common. my only quip is that like, is that sexual attraction ???? being in her bed and having our hands on each other and kinda feeling it then? but not at other times? is sexual attraction constant?? maybe im bisexual and aromantic. or maybe i’m regular bisexual and i just dont like romantic relationships. makenzie why are human minds so goddamn difficult to parse the emotions of? i want to be her friend but im confused by my emotions towards her. how am i consistently having sex with someone im not literally sexually attracted to? and liking it? i mean that kinda has to be sexual attraction right? idk. help girl (gender neutral)

hi anon,

have a seat. drink some water. take a deep breath. we're wildly overthinking this.

what you call yourself - asexual, aro bi, bi but not into romance, whatever - that doesn't actually matter.

here are the things I'm worried about here: are you feeling at all pressured or coerced here? given the choice would you want to stop having sex with this person? do you feel comfortable setting boundaries and saying no when you have sex? you don't need to be overcome with raw sexual yearning for your sexual buddy, but do you enjoy and look forward to having sex with her? is this a positive experience for you?

it's fine to have sex even if you don't walk around thinking about it drooling like a horny cartoon wolf, whether it's because you're asexual or just allosexual without a particularly vigorous sex drive. (the line between those things can be pretty blurry and is pretty up to you to define, by the way.) sex can be fun and feel great; it's fine to want to do that even if you don't have a longing in your loins for it.

think of it this way? I don't particularly like most vegetables, but I like how my body will feel when I eat them, so I make a point of doing that as much as I can. and when I cook them they'll usually come out pretty tasty, and I'll enjoy or at least fell neutral about them. and still doesn't mean I like vegetables, or at least I don't particularly identify as someone who likes vegetables, but I did. eat those vegetables.

the sex is vegetables.

I can't tell you if this is sexual attraction. but also it doesn't matter very much as long as you're being safe and having fun.

#sex edventures 2024

[ladyloveandjustice]

You mentioned haruka kissing usagi when she was still dating michiru in the manga, and it got changed in the anime. Can you explain that to me and why it's bad?

I'm not really clear on the question here? To give further details of what happened, At this point Usagi didn't know Haruka's true identity, but had pretty much guessed, and she also didn't know her gender. Haruka really randomly kissed Usagi out of nowhere as Sailor Uranus while warning her to ~stay away~, Usagi had dreams about the kiss and wondered who Haruka really was, seeing Haruka in both her school uniform and the more feminine clothes she sometimes wore in the manga. When she woke up she was flustered and wondered if this counted as cheating...so yeah, dreaming about both aspects of Haruka turned her on. Then Haruka and Usagi meet up the next day, Usagi asks if she's a man or a woman, and Haruka leans in perhaps for another kiss, saying "does gender really matter?" But the Mamoru comes by, Usagi and Mamoru have a heart to heart about how he's been jealous and vice versa and then the plotline is just. dropped. forever. No impact on Haruka and Usagi's relationship going forward, no indication of how this affects Haruka's actual gf.

I'm really glad the 90s anime didn't do this (I'm not sure if they would have been able to, tbh, don't think the kiss would have been allowed'). It was big to see girls kissing in the manga and I think it gave a lot of young queer people so much of a thrill we didn't really unpack what else was going on, myself included. But it falls into a lot of unfortunate trope and make Haruka a despicable character-first in that she basically assaulted Usagi even if the narrative doesn't really treat it that way, checking off a predatory lesbian trope, and then she's remorselessly cheating on her actual girlfriend and we don't get any indication of what that means for their relationship because apparently that's not important. And then there's the aspect of Usagi leaving her lesbian dalliance behind to reaffirm her commitment to the heterosexual relationship, which feels gross. The plotline being introduced and dropped without any consideration for the impact on the characters makes it badly written.

In contrast, the 90s anime gave Haruka the habit of playfully flirting with every cute girl she sees, not just Usagi. It also hinted at Usagi's (and the other girls') attraction to Haruka without her needing to be assaulted, and there's no indication Haruka is interested in Usagi in particular. Haruka loves to hit on girls, and it's a habit Michiru's aware of and tolerates with an eye roll or quip, but both of them know she's never actually serious about her flirtations, and in contrast, as the season goes on, she becomes VERY serious about Michiru. It keeps the ladykiller who makes all the girlies question their sexuality aspect of Haruka without sacrificing her integrity or relationship with Michiru. The anime centers their relationship, and never forgets Michiru exists.

#ask nev #haruka tenoh #michiru kaioh #sailor moon #harumichi

[steph-is-asleep]

Nobody Asked but Here's My Gender + Sexuality Headcanons for Everyone

June: Transwoman - She/Her - I'm honestly stuck between making her a lesbian or making her bisexual, I'm so torn. The only dudes I really ship her with is maybe Dave? and even then, I'm not crazy about the ship. I don't really have someone I fix her with consistently! If she is bi, she has a preference towards women for sure

Rose: Cis woman - She/Her - Lesbian, I don't need to elaborate

Dave: Transmasc, but not necessarily a transman? IYKYK - He/him - Definitely bisexual, with a slight preference towards men

Jade: Nonbinary, I'm not gonna fuss with microlabels too much, it's not my thing, but somewhere in the feminine/enby side of things! - They/She - Pan, but shes very picky with her men. They have to impress her!

Aradia: Cis woman, but VERY gnc about it, again, IYKYK - she/her - bisexual with a preference towards men

Tavros: Cis man, soft about it though - He/They - Pansexual

Sollux: Transman - He/him - The platonic ideal of bisexual. I think if he's not dating someone, he has one guy crush and one girl crush at any given time.

Karkat: Cis man - He/him - Gay, with a lot of comphet

Nepeta: So nonbinary /pos - She/They/Kitty/Kittyself - Pansexual

Kanaya: Transfemme NB - She/They - Lesbian

Terezi: Transmasc + Nonbinary - They/Them - Lesbian

Vriska: Transfemme - She/Her - Lesbian

Equius: Cis man - He/him - Bisexual, preference to women

Gamzee: Nonbinary but he doesn't know it - he/they - Gay

Eridan: transfemme in a nonbinary way, most likely genderfluid - He tells people his pronouns are he/him, but they're actually he/she - bisexual with a men preference

Feferi: Nonbinary with a femme twist - They/She - Pansexual

#If anyone's curious the reason i differentiate between bi and pan is not for any personal preference #it is purely based on what i think the character would call themselves #what i think their relationship to gender and sexuality would be #Also if youre unaware #IYKYK means 'if you know you know' #i dont want anyone to feel confused :"3 #homestuck #headcanons #no other tags we die like men #and im not tagging all those character idc #if you see it you see it

[burnchurch1s]

me trying to figure out if im aromantic like:

#aromantic #aromantic asexual #already established asexual #me: *22 y/o* #also me: ‘am i genderqueer or nonbinary?’ #‘multiple gender or absence of gender?’ #‘aromantic or romantic?’ #‘do i want a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship?’ #what is the difference between a romantic and a platonic relationship? #is wanting to live w someone and have pets w them and plan dates and activities together w/out kissing or sex romantic or platonic love? #you think youre done w coming out n then u have a sexuality crisis again #i cant have THREE coming outs via a picture i took at pride and posted on fb in june! #threes just too much and my mither would never get it #romantic love #platonic love #asexual #god fucking dammit #genderqueer #nonbinary #he/they #they/them #unsure #is wanting to be masculine inherently wanting to be male? #like? no #but is it nonbinary or genderqueer #gay crisis

[pluggedintosaverockandroll]

i love being queer i really do but my god it can be lonely sometimes

#my siblings are queer but other than that i don't have any close queer friends irl #i'm also not out to my parents #my sexuality they might understand but i'm bery certain they won't understand my gender #they love me but would they still love me if i told them who i am? #and like i really should worry about labels too much bc the word queer exists and that perfectly describes what i am #it just tells you that i'm not cis/het #i'm also not really out to my uni/dorm friends so yeah #they would probably be cool with that tho #(sexuality i mean gender idk bc idk how to explain my gender to people in dutch) #i'm not actively looking for a romantic relationship at the moment but like dating another queer perspn would make me a lot less lonely... #(kinda unrelated but i think i might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum ??? and possibly on the aromantic one as well ???) #this is why i love the word queer so much #it just tells you that i'm not cis/het #so like i rrally shouldn't worry about labels too much because the word queer perfectly describes what i am #queer #kj post

[chocoenvy]

New Rule!!

The last one, atm I don't believe I can write anything strictly romantic.

I don't know what has changed, what's wrong with me, but writing things that are strictly romantic make me uncomfortable at the moment.

If this changes in the future, the rule will be removed, but for now please don't request anything strictly romantic. And if you have requested smth like that please understand if I change it.

(btw i lose my mind in the tags if yall want to laugh at my pain and maybe give advice only if u want tho)

#choco psa #aroace questioning yay (help) #ISTG I HAVE NOT ALWAYS FELT THIS WAY #I can't tell if its the gender dysphoria or if im genuinely romance repulsed #HELP YALL IVE GONE THROUGH SO MANY GENDER AND SEXUALITY CRISIS I DON'T WANT ANOTHER #i put away the gender crisis and now the sexuality crisis body slammed me and is currently kicking me repeatedly #anyways i'll post smth in a bit but it just came to mind #that writing something strictly romantic is a little yuck #LIKE. EVEN STRICTLY ROMANTIC YAE X READER MAKES ME UNCOMFY??????? #THAT'S NEVER BEEN THE CASE #I LOVE MIKO #WHAT'S HAPPENIGN???????? #i think it might be the gender dysphoria bc i would still write tsaritsa x reader x darling #but also that's a poly relationship?? but also if it was just tsaritsa x reader would I do it?? #I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING i might be on the ace spectrum #BUT I DIDN'T USED TO BE ON THE ACE SPECTRUM?? #I WAS NEVER QUESTIONING THIS #what the hell changed #THIS IS TRAUMA RELATED 100% BUT ALSO CAN ASEXUALITY/AROMANTISICM BE TRAUMA-RELATED #maybe im healing #maybe ive realized that my love for miko stemmed from trauma i had with my mother and im healing from that #but also men gross me out #which might be the gender dysphoria talking bc men don't see me as a man #but also women don't see me as a man #which might also be why romance repulsed #BUT ALSO WHY HAVE I NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE #i think im just fucking stupid #its the scaramouche pfp. #im taking the kinning him too far yall/hj

[imaginarymen]

Queer thoughts

#Yknow I used to think anything queer was annoying or insufferable or eroding the meanings of yadda yadda bla bla oof #But now like a year later I'm like. Wow. I'm queer! I call myself queer both generally and as part of my gender #And I think working on my relationship w/ queerness has been kinda healing :) #I think there's smth beautiful and powerful ab the sorta self-determination queerness comes w/ for a lotta ppl #Severance from unnecessary obligation or expectation pertaining to gender/sexuality/etc and embracing smth that feels more... U. #I completely get y someone wouldn't use queer for themselves or would be triggered by the word bc of its past and present usage #If u do not want to be called queer that should be respected to the fullest bc imo the whole point of LGBT+ activism is like #Each of us determining who we r and not making anyone else be anything they aren't and not hurting ppl bc of what we think they should be #But it can also be v comforting if u do feel it fits u- and even if ur just trying it out! If u put it down u can still learn from it #I find that the term queer describes my individual relationship to that but also describes a community tie for me #As well as my departure from cis/hetero/amatonormativity #But yeah! #Queer and a little scared but very comforted and very proud :)

[wishbonemotel]

the temptation to make Summers bi specifically because his dynamic with Connor is so good

#WAIT. wait. #i’m a fool #character development moment. he thinks he’s gay until he meets/gets to know connor then is forced to be like uh oh #i would say that it’s my oc lore and i get to decide what convoluted relationships they have with gender and sexuality #but actually my ocs are just out here telling *me* about their weird relationships #and summers is not immune to cringe fail woman #they are both pathetic in different ways and they deserve each other #time to send you together into the suffering machine of my Dead Space gang to see what you do under extreme duresss

[starbuck]

thank GOD for close friends you can discuss your kinks with…

#would also be interested in talking to other ace people to see if they have ‘kinks’ like mine #(i.e. - yes this scenario turns me on sexually but NO i would *NEVER* wanna incorporate it into sex) #(even if i DID want to have sex - which i don’t) #but like. am i going to tell you What my thing is? lol No. #you have to unlock like. level 7473747488558 friendship for me to be comfortable being THAT embarrassing in front of you #my one friend… we’ve known each other for over a decade… dated as awkward 12 year olds… both autistic… transed our genders in opposite #directions… #i would trust her with literally ANY infortmation about me #and god knows she’s trusted me with a LOT of information about her #cuz that’s just the kind of relationship we have - we can tell each other things like that #and i am SO grateful for that!!!!!!! #the lowdown is that SHE says i’m normal - but i disagree #cuz when y’all talk about kink on here - this shit is NOT what you are talking about - trust me #like. it’s very Sensible - but it IS weird still. that’s what i think.

[ride-a-dromedary]

I honestly did not expect Kelly and Bortus but who know maybe I'll grow to enjoy them?

All the more power to you, anon. I can't say I share your optimism.

I will give the show credit - near 90% of all relationships (implied or otherwise) on board are alien/human which is at least different, I’ll give them that. 

It also very clearly mirrors Isaac/Claire in that Isaac’s affection for Claire’s children attracted her to him in the first place, which proves my “Bortus and Isaac are two sides of the same coin” theory and that’s why Bortus doesn’t like him.

#Jemi talks the Orville #Jemi gets asks #before i say anything at all bisexual people exist so do not get this twisted i am NOT here for any bullshit biphobia anywhere near me #nor am i saying anything in regards to sexuality not being fluid #but tell me exactly how i'm supposed to read a man who has canonically in the past only displayed attraction to what we would deem as #traditional masculinity - including on the simulator - is suddenly 'converted' after the species is 'taught' a lesson in morals by the unio #to something that is otherwise not masculine #(human gender is far more complex but kelly has never identified as anything other than a woman and presents herself as such) #sounds a teeny bit like gay conversion to me after having been 'fixed' and 'enlightened' #like it was wrong before because moclus itself was considered 'backwards' and 'wrong' #and yes it's made more complicated because metaphorically moclans view 'straight' relationships as queer coded #but we are not a moclan audience #do you see what i'm getting at here? #do i think they meant it that way? no #that's why making this direct parallel consistently shoots macfarlane and co in the foot #it also makes the implication that fathers cannot adequately raise daughters on their own - they *require* actual mothers #rather than - say - the father actively encouraging his daughter into mentorships under other women inside and outside of the family #to encourage strong roll models #without it necessarily needing to be a mother #like as a daughter of a single father that rubs me the wrong way #it's also just weird that every remotely close relationship between men and women automatically = romantic #it implies that men cannot adequately admire women without being romantically attracted to them (ed and kelly also fell into this trap) #also remember that intersectionality we talked about before - it applies here too

[yakshagaana]

my mums still kinda weird abt it tho.....

#she thinks being bi is inherently slutty and like bi ppl r more prone to cheating etc etc #she gave me the 'ur body is a temple' talk like ma'am im not getting laid any time soon u kno it i kno it #i think like #i think part of what made it better is how my personality nd preferences are p compliant w her purity culture ideas #and so she wasnt too alarmed but like #she sees it as inherently promiscuous and its just weird but like i think #now that she knows im bi it sortof helped her break some stereotypes in her mind its fine #i lov her shes an amazing person #yea lol i promised her im never gna long term b w a anyone of the same gender but like. #i think desi ppl will understand theres some tradeoffs nd like. we can make it better for the next generation #i just cannot live without my family theyre more important than my orientation or romantic life dude like #whtever partner i might hav had hasnt even entered my life yet #im not going to love anyone in this world more than my mother and brother #why would i ruin my relationship w them over something like this #i know theres a huge emphasis on living authentically and all but like. #my love for my mum nd bro is more authentic than anything else #when we are dead and turned into stars in the sky there will be no sexual/romantic orientations but my love for my family will still b real #u kno wht im sayign?

[loriache]

Butch up that Elf: my Marcille manifesto

TBQH, this came into being because the Falin "dragoness" fanart rewired my brain completely. It's sillytimes, but we're going to make a serious argument: trying out being a little butch would Fix Her.

1. Marcille Gender Discomfort

Now, Marcille LOVES feminity. She loves playing dressup, she loves elaborate gowns, she spends her free time going to the spa - the absolute last thing I want is to deny that. However, there's also a definite vibe that this isn't just a preference. Specifically, the way that she pushes Falin towards femininity suggests that she isn't comfortable with gender nonconformity in the people around her.

If this was something she was 100% confident about ("I'm doing this for myself and nobody else!") surely what other people do wouldn't be a big deal? Of course, you can read this as a little bit of solipsism; "what works for me must work for you too! I think this is so cute and would suit you - wouldn't you agree?"

But for the sake of this argument, all I'm trying to suggest is that gender nonconformity (and probably sexual nonconformity... well, frankly, any kind of sexuality at all) is unlikely to be something that's on Marcille's "radar". She hasn't tried out other ways of presenting and decided she doesn't like them. I do think she'd be a very flamboyant butch - "ouji lolita" vibes, you know? It's a whole new set of wardrobe options she could play dress-up in, even.

After the story ends, she starts dressing like her mother in all black, which makes sense - her mother was also a court magician, so she's probably emulating her in order to project confidence and authority. But I can't say I think she should stick with this. Break away and be your own person, Marcille! Try a fancy waistcoat and frilled jacket!

2. Haircut

This is another potential hard sell, I'm sure. The people she loves doing her hair is a cute symbol of their care for her, and her hair is key to her magic - so there's plenty of reason for her to keep it long. But like... think practically. Having someone do your hair every morning, for the whole of her long life, while it gets messier over the day (because she can't remember to keep it neat)... That's got to be such a pain. My hair gets messy when I put a hoodie on. And I have short hair.

It would require her to go through a change of mind, and probably a little more growth in how secure she feels in her relationships, but - the hairdo's a symbol. The more important thing is the relationships themselves. Eventually I think there might be something liberating about cutting it off, even if she might eventually decide to grow it out again.

The lion, her trauma, took something away from her which was really important to her. The people around her are able to make that easier, and make up for it, and soften that loss, but... Mithrun isn't the person he was before, you know? He's a new person. The relationship he has with his brother is new, and I don't know if it's one that the person he was before could have had. If Falin hadn't died, they wouldn't have gone on that wonderful adventure! They wouldn't have met Senshi or saved Izutsumi and Laios and Marcille wouldn't have gotten so close. So I think it's totally congruent with the themes of the story that the burning away of this part of Marcille's self might eventually create the potential for new growth in a new direction, not clinging onto the parts that are gone.

This also isn't totally out of the norm for elven mages - both Otta and Flamela have short hair. Otta is canonically butch, and potentially Flamela reads that way to elves too, but the point is it clearly is possible to be an accomplished mage without long hair.

3. Desiring (to be) a chivalrous prince

Marcille's succubus is clearly General Halleus from her favourite book series, the Daltian Clan. The fact that this is her ideal man.... it certainly plays into readings of her as Not Straight. But at least, this conveys the way her conception of sex and romance is strongly idealised, dissociated from the bodily and from physical desire.

There are many ways to interpret that, including thinking about what types of desire this fixation is obstructing because she is not comfortable with it, but I am going to focus here on what this desire does signify. She likes the trappings of courtly romance, and is clearly comfortable putting herself in the role of the princess, being taken away on a white horse by a noble (but tormented; eyepatch has "death" on it lmao) prince. (Though I think he's actually the token male lead who isn't royalty; he's a General. There's always one in Romfan, lmao. IYKYK)

A kiss on the hand - this is so chaste, I think it's clear it's more about desire to play a role in a dynamic than it is about desire in a physical sense. There is undoubtedly a big part of Marcille that wants to be a beloved and chased-after princess, but I think it isn't at all impossible that she'd also enjoy being the powerful, cool, and chivalrous "prince" to someone (a pretty girl, perhaps) who needs her protection.

This is a little silly, because it's clearly just aping the shoujo artstyle that articulates basically the same idea as her succubus, that Marcille is attached to highly abstracted and idealised romantic (and Romantic) tropes and ideas. But the imaginary "successful" Marcille from chapter 4 looks quite similar to her succubus. (Another thing I noticed is that in the fantasy she has sharp ears... like full elves have. Despite what she says, I think the cultural messaging that this trait is "attractive" and hers are inferior got to her at least a bit. 😥)

Also, the way that she treats Falin, scolding her indulgently, trying to look after her and wanting to be looked up to and respected by her... that aligns more with the "masculine" role in the trope that her succubus is referencing. "What are we going to do with you...?" I can imagine her saying this to Falin, word for word. Whereas, if anyone real started talking down to her, even affectionately, I don't think she'd like it, given the negative way she reacts when people don't respect her or her skills. Especially after canon, given the way the Winged Lion was treating her.

Her attitude to Falin is partially down to her reluctance to acknowledge Falin as an adult, who is independent and can grow beyond her and leave her behind. But I think even as they move on from that unhealthy dynamic, Marcille is still going to get pleasure from feeling capable, reliable, able to look after and protect Falin. She'd like to pull the chair out for her in a restaurant on a date, you know?

4. Conclusion

Even after the growth she goes through during the story, there are parts of Marcille's character that are very much obstructed. Romance, sexuality, and gender, feel like one of those to me. The way that her discomfort with the messy origins of food betrayed a deeper, more significant discomfort with the cycles of life and death.

Much in the same way, I'd argue that the simplified, idealistic, and safely fantastical way that she views romance, as well as her very "safe" gender presentation and tendency to push it onto others as well, suggest an underlying discomfort in her own gender and sexuality. The character growth she goes through leaves her in a place where it may be possible to safely re-evaluate her relationship with Falin, as well as her choice of clothing and hairstyle, both things that go through a change at the end of the manga. Neither, I think, reach a sustainable stopping point that we see - there will be a point when it's more servants doing her hair than friends, just out of practicality, because they're all going to be so, so busy. The black clothing to copy her mum is cute, but once she gets some more self-confidence in her own skills as a court magician, I think she'll move on from it. And... who knows what direction her relationship with Falin will develop, over the years? I'm rooting for them, anyway.

In all those cases, I think moving outside of the things she's done before, into something really different from the things that are "safe" and expected, will be the most rewarding path for her. Like in the dungeon, things that she would initially reject were actually able to sustain her and broaden her tastes. She loves dressing up, looking after people, and "princely romance". So I say: Butch Marcille! It'll be good for her!!

#og post #marcille donato #falin x marcille #farcille #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi meta #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dunmeshi

[bi-the-way-imma-witch]

perhaps I should be kithed have we thought about that hmmm

#my original post #it’s been a while since I’ve made a textpost on here but this seemed better than my main blog #i just think that maybe perhaps my boyfriend should kith me #and hold hands on date 2.0 while walking around #i do have the urge to write down a list of questions that I’ve been thinking about and asking him them #but that also makes me feel like I am being interrogatative and a job interviewer #i mean I think some of them are fair like what do you want in a relationship and what do you like about me and ground rules #and others are more like I want to pick your brain about ever action and like there was one time where I met your mom #and she knew who I was and said that you said nice things about me #and I know that you ended a sort of relationship/situationship semi recently #and I know that technically you have liked me for a while but uhhh what happened recently to say yes to me #asking you out? or like what all have you done before so we can get on the same page? also would you still like me if I was a worm #and also do you like guys?? what’s going on with your sexuality and also I should probably talk about my gender identity #and how I view myself as a person and also aaaaaaaaaa #y’know?? ughhh

[moki-dokie]

been seeing some stuff on blue eye samurai and big yikes to nearly everyone pushing extremely western ideals onto these characters.

this is early edo period. 1600s. the japan you know now did not exist yet.

yall. please. there was NO concept of sexuality in pre-modern japan. that came with both the influx of christianity and western influence very very late in history. like, mid-1800s. (yes, there was christianity pre-1800s but it was not a widespread idea yet and wouldn't be until about the 1800s since, y'know, missionaries were routinely murdered before then)

"so and so is either bi and hasn't figured it out yet or..." no. that isn't how it worked then. nobody gave a shit what was between your legs. anyone could be attracted to anyone else. it was a little more common for male homosexual relationships to be between an adult and younger male - like many other places around the world - but two adult men could bang and love each other just as easily. relationships between women were quite common - especially since so many men were often away at war. there's tons of pornographic prints from the time depicting all manner of fun queer relationships. sex itself had absolutely no moral assignment to it. good sex was good health. it didn't matter who with. (well, social class/caste mattered more than anything else tbh but that didn't stop upper and lower class from fucking.) that isn't to say people didn't have preferences. of course they did. that is human nature. preferences arose more from physical appearance, caste, and circumstances with gender being about the last thing one would look for in a partner - romantic, casual, or otherwise. the only role in sex where gender actually mattered was for procreation.

there would be no queer awakening moment, no sudden switch flipped, no stigma to have internal conflicts about because it simply did not exist as a concept whatsoever. you were either attracted to a person or you weren't, it was that simple. gender played no role when it came to sex and sexual attraction. the japanese were lightyears ahead of western cultures in this particular area - like most cultures were before christianity came in and ruined everything with its backwards morals and strict good/evil dichotomy.

yall have got to realize queer rep will not and should not always adhere by modern western standards. there was no straight, gay, bi, or anything else of the sort. the closest they ever got was referring to roles during sex - as in who is giving and who is receiving.

i know this is mostly a made up story but it is still set within a very specific time period and culture, which should be honored and respected by not making it fit into our box. tons of research went into making this show historically accurate (albeit with some discrepancies but tbh they aren't really that huge) right down to the calligraphy writing. please please please don't whitewash the culture from these characters.

i say this mainly because without this knowledge, so many of you are going to build these characters up on a foundation they aren't meant to be on and then you'll rage about queerbaiting and bad queer rep if it isn't somehow super explicitly stated, if it doesn't match your very modern, very western ideal of what queer looks like. don't try to force this plot and narrative and characters into something they canonically and historically aren't. headcanons are a thing, AUs are a thing, fanfiction is a thing - leave your western thinking for those and let these characters simply exist as they should otherwise. this is one of those times where the queerness really does not need to be examined at all beyond what we get.

i know it can be hard to wrap your head around - sexuality is such a huge part of our identity in the western world and has slowly started to spread amongst other parts of the world in importance. but just keep in mind with these particular characters, that concept would be so very alien to them.

#blue eye samurai #i'm gonna bite people if i see complaints about queer anything in this show

[sky-chau]

Are LGBTQ labels confusing? Do you ever see a collection of words and think "aren't some of those antithetical or mutually exclusive?" Congratulations! You've run into a very interesting phenomenon that I'm about to break down to the best of my ability.

There's two major philosophies when it comes to labels, they don't have names to my knowledge so I'm gonna call them Reflective and Telegraph.

The Telegraph Label philosophy states that labels primarily function as a means of conveying useful information about one's self to others. It's telling others what pronouns, what parts and what genders that person has or is attracted to. This is usually pretty straightforward, the stuff someone interested in dating you would check before asking you out to avoid embarrassment.

The Reflective Label philosophy states that labels are primarily a tool for describing an internal experience. Putting words to feelings for the benefit of the self. This is how we get lables like stargender or autismgender. These aren't meaningfully useful labels that tell others what to expect physically or what pronouns to use. But that doesn’t mean they're useless. In the case of someone using autismgender, that label probably describes the internal experience of the ways a person's autism impacts their views on and performance of gender. Stargender likely explains not that they literally see themselves as a star but rather that their internal experience of their prefered gender performance makes them feel a way that reminds them of stars or stargazing.

And this applies to sexuality too. Boy lesbian might seem antithetical but ultimately that label isn't there to tell others anything. It's merely a comfort to have words to describe a mess of feelings and social dynamics.

And for clarification, anyone calling themselves a boy-lesbian probably isn't the cis male boogieman forcing lesbians who aren't interested in cis men to date them or else be labeled a bigot. That boogieman doesn't exist. A more likely explanation is that a nonbinary or trans person has a complex relationship with their changing gender that doesn't trigger a change in the way they see themselves in relationships and attraction thus causing them to keep or adopt the lesbian label despite the gender weirdness going on.

I see a lot of infighting about what people call themselves and whether or not certain combinations can even physically exist. And Y'know what? I don't think that's terribly productive. Neither philosophy is wrong. People are just using labels to address different root problems.

As aggravating as it might be for Telegraphers, you don't have to understand everything. Not everyone feels that they owe you the list of information you find useful, and their labels reflect that. And that's okay.

#lgbtq #psa #queer #gender #sexuality #linguistics #philosophy #gay #bisexual #trans #aromantic #acesexual #lesbian

[spacedykez]

jfc they weren't lying when they said that the sexuality crisis comes back as soon as u figure out your gender :SOB:

#me: gets comfy with my gender identity #sexuality: ELLO THERE- #anyways. gonna ramble a bit in the tags #tw kissing #be warned #the otter splashes #i keep questioning whether im really aro/ace. which is strange because i am definitely aroace. i just. was wondering what it would be like #to kiss someone today. but the idea of kissing anyone i know irl is not appealing. its like. hm. the concept sounds Not Repulsive anymore? #but not like. full on. tongue kisses. thats still eurgh #see the issue is i keep going 'FUCK AM I RAELLY JUST A LATE BLOOMER' #at the same time #i want NOTHING to do with romance as society intends #i love the word queerplatonic #i want to fuck with what society thinks is acceptable #i want to have important platonic relationships #and i do #and its great #irl i think i've had a squish like. twice? #they've both been... well. funny story actually. #neither of my squishes have been cis #the first one came out as a trans woman a while after we'd stopped talking (no reason just life taking us different paths) and when i knew- #her she was. well. i think i had gender envy tbh. they (they go by she/they!!) were great. we were friends and so- #that was all fine cause my squish on her went away pretty quickly and i never wanted to be anything other than friends anyways #and the second squish i've had is on a trans guy (he/him) and i say this only because i find it funny that both of my squishes have been- #trans? sorry im not trying to be weird #they're also both a few years older than me (within reason. like. not THAT much older than me. no problematic age gaps or anything) #and i look up to them both #was definitely some kind of attraction though. pretty sure it was platonic. like. both times i thought they were very cool and i looked up- #to them and also wanted their gender. how did i do this twice. i don't know. #that story was BARELY relevant