#went out taking photos with my dad before christmas. got some good weather and subjects!

[tetrameryxx]

Scenes from a high desert

#went out taking photos with my dad before christmas. got some good weather and subjects! #my photos #oregon #high desert #sagebrush steppe

[rosy-wooyoung]

[12:31]

🎄 Day 11 of the Christmas project🎄

pairing : san x fem!reader a/n: ngl i’m quite happy with this one. maybe bc it’s kinda personal? idk

You had just arrived at the cottage you inherited from your grandparents when they passed away, and, after driving for so long, you were happy to finally cut the engine. Months had passed since you last visited this small house filled with beautiful memories, and you had this strange feeling of happiness mixed with nostalgia overrunning in your body. The cottage was a small wooden house at the edge of the forest next to a lake, now frozen, the ground and the naked and lonely looking branches of the trees surrounding it covered in snow. You parked your car in the driveway and slightly shook your best friend's shoulder to wake him from his slumber. After a few minutes of constantly shaking him, San finally stirred up, softly rubbing his eyes as he looked around him.

"Are we already here?" he mumbled and you bitterly chuckled, unbuckling your seat belt and opened the door. "What do you mean already? You've been sleeping since we stopped at the gas station. It's been two hours dude," You poked his ribs before stepping out. San shook his head and got out of the car as well a few seconds later, letting out a sigh before helping you clear the trunk filled with things to get comfortable enough for the long weekend you had planned to stay together. 

The end of the year was coming, so that meant a lot of things to do at work: closing cases, checking details before sending files to your boss, preparing some others for the new year, it was everything but calm when you entered your workspace each morning. Fortunately, you had worked quite hard during the week, so today before lunch, San and you took your leave of work and hurried to your car, getting ready for a few hours of driving to get to this beautiful place where you had just arrived.

"Gosh, I've missed this place so badly," you said as you looked around you, eyes roaming as you observed the trees and your surroundings. You started getting a bit emotional as you recalled the hazy yet wonderful memories you had collected while growing up until it was time for them to leave.  

You remembered spending some of your Summer holidays here with your siblings when your parents grew "tired" of the three of you. They always claimed to need a break from being parents for at least a week, and so did you from them. When you were at your grandparents' house, more fun was allowed than when you were at home. It was an exciting feeling, and you were always looking forward to coming and visiting them at every opportunity you had. You never truly minded because you loved your grandparents and spending time with them. But for your younger siblings, it was a whole other story: they were constantly yelling about missing mom and dad, while you were just loving being there, catching up with your granddad

You had your little secrets with him, things that you hid from your family and your siblings. For example, you and your grandfather would secretly take two easels, always feeling that rush of adrenaline before escaping from the yells of your siblings to find a good spot to start painting for a major part of the day, hidden in the mountains hovering above the cottage. Each time, you came back from your getaway with a brand new piece of art, and a memory to cherish for the years to come. You entered the cottage, and a wave of nostalgia crashed onto you, a sense of comfort wrapping its arms around your shoulders. In the dark, you could still distinguish some of the pieces of art your granddad did when you were together. You opened the shutters and drew out the curtains your grandmother had sewed by herself, making the natural sunlight warm up the place. You then went behind the house and opened the electricity and water conducts while San took care of putting all the things your truck you carry inside the small house.

"It's a gorgeous little place that you hid from me," he teased, and you gently smiled, elbowing him in the ribs as you kept on putting everything in the right place. "It's my sweet escape," you replied as your best friend rested for a few seconds in the middle of the entrance, hands on his hips as he took in the decoration of the place.

When you had some rough times in your life - which happened more often as your grandparents fell sick one after the other -, you came to this little house in secret to unwind and spend some time alone, crying or just chilling. It was a bit like your secret garden, the spot that you had indeed kept hidden from everyone. Even your parents didn't know that you frequently visited here and spend some time in nature. That's why it wasn't as dusty and dirty as one can imagine an abandoned house to look like. Yes, it was a bit straggly, but to your defence, you haven't come to this place in weeks.

As the day went by, it was finally the afternoon, and it had started snowing as soon as you finished setting in the cottage house. You were quite tired from driving for a few hours, only being used to run a few errands for maximum 20 minutes, so you just wanted to chill and maybe take a nap on the burgundy, corduroy couch. San, on the other hand, since had slept a major part of the journey there, was just a human dynamo. Looking around, all smiley and excited as he watched the snow falling from the sky.

"Do you wanna do something outside? We could make a snowman, have a snowball fight or go for a walk?" he suggested as he let himself fall next to you on the couch, tickling your side with his left hand as the other remained against his chest. You stifled a giggle and squirmed, trying to escape from his touch. He stopped for a while, his eyes lingering on you as you were getting your breath back. "And what about going sledging? I just saw that there's a hill on the other side of the lake, we can go there," your best friend offered, but you shook your head with a pout. "San, I'm too tired for all of this," you whispered, and his eyes widened, taken aback that you declined his offer, again, "and where did you even find a sledge?" you added, not even knowing that your grandparents owned one. "There was two in the small storage unit, but don't try to change the subject. Why don't you want to go sledging?" he said while sitting up, laying a hand on your knee, shaking it a bit. "It's the best thing you could do when we have a type of weather like this!" he exclaimed while pointing outside, making you sigh and as you looked out the window. Yes, it was still snowing, and it looked quite consistent enough to sledge on it, but you could see some patches of blue sky appearing here and there, telling you that the good weather wasn't as far as you thought it was.

"Come on, Y/N, just for me," he said as he watched you stifling a yawn, happy that he managed to catch sight of a small nod in your actions. "Really? Let's go then!" he enthusiastically got up, not even waiting for you to run into the bedroom to get dressed. "The things I'd do for him," you whispered to yourself as you tiredly got up from the couch, making your way up the small stairs as well. Once you had slipped on your fleece-lined pants and warm coats, you made your way out the door, San trotting to the small storage unit behind the house to get the sledges. Those were made out of old wood, a thin rope attached to the tip of it. They looked quite old and dusty, but they would do the trick.

"So Y/N, since you're the expert of the region," San teased as he looked over, only to have you staring back at him with a fake bored look, "how can we reach this side of the lake?" he said as he pointed the side opposite the cottage, and you smiled. That is where you used to go painting with your grandfather. "Come on, follow me," you said as you confidently started walking, the memories colliding in your brain as you trusted your guts to get to this side of the lake. In the course of your walk, with San by your side, you told him some of your memories while pointing at different things.

"You see that tree over there?" you gestured to the naked weeping willow a bit further into the stroll, San nodding as his eyes followed your finger, "when it was getting either too hot or too noisy because of my siblings during Summer, I'd take a book and spend the entire afternoon reading underneath that tree," you explained with a soft smile on your face, remembering the great souvenirs as the leaves crunched under your moon boots as you stopped. "And my grandma had a whistle, and she would blow four times when dinner was ready, and I needed to come back," you told your friend, who had a sincere smile on his face. "This is adorable, it sounds like a Studio Ghibli plot," he said while taking your hand, making you walk slightly faster to pass the tree. San knew you well. He knew that if you spent too much time in front of this willow, you'd start getting emotional and probably cry, and that was the last thing he wanted to see.

You silently thanked him with a faint smile as you understood his sudden change of behaviour and you cleared your throat, keeping on telling him happier souvenirs as you finally arrived where San wanted to go. "I can't imagine how beautiful it must look here in Summer," he mumbled as he stared at the cottage on the other side of the lake. "It's even more incredible in fall," you said with a smile, "I came here mid-October and you're just surrounded by yellow and orange trees, you can really feel the fall vibes," you giggled with your friend, letting go of his hand, feeling suddenly nervous. You hadn't even noticed that San had kept your hand in his the entire time, and you were even hotter when you realised that he didn't even look bothered or shy of it.

You took a few pictures of each other going down the sledge, laughing and pushing each other around as the other took an unflattering photo of the other. The powder snow eased your falls every time you pushed the other too hard, sometimes shrieking as you could feel some snow slipping under your clothes and reach your skin. At some point, you were too tired to get up, so you stayed well muffled in your clothes, looking at the sky clearing above your heads. San was also in the snow, ignoring the freezing sensation of water against his neck and the goosebumps travelling his entire body. Instead of staring at the sky as you did, he seized the fact that you were too busy getting lost in your thoughts to stare at you. He loved seeing his best friend at peace like you currently were, it looked like all of your worries had vanished as soon as you pulled up by the house, the stressed Y/N getting replaced by the one that San imagined was the Y/N of your childhood.

The young man shifted in the snow, close enough for his hand to grab yours. As you felt pressure on your glove, you turned your head to the side, looking at him. He was already looking at you with a fond smile decorating his lips, and you raised your eyebrows, silently asking him why he was staring at you like that.

"I wish for this moment to never end," he spoke softly, the density of the snow under you two muffling his words, only for you to hear. "Me neither," you uttered, and San squeezed your hand as an answer, shooting you a wink before looking at the sky like you did just moments ago. He felt your gaze on him, and he started rolling towards you, miscalculating the number of rolls he had to do to come near you, resulting him almost crushing you as he was about to land on his back. You clutched your abdomen, anticipating his weight landing on you, but he swiftly moved around to land on his stomach, his mouth arriving millimetres away from yours.

None of you recoiled, getting lost in the other's eyes. Your breath had quickened up, something going noticed by San. He gulped but kept staring at you, your breaths forming one trail of steam above your heads, unhurriedly vanishing in the atmosphere. San pulled his thoughts and doubts to the side for an instant, his mouth colliding with yours in the gentlest way possible. Despite the dryness of his lips, the kiss released millions of butterflies in your stomach, sending warmth straight to your face. With your mittens slightly covered in snow, you cupped his face, and he groaned into the kiss, the cold against his face attempting to bring him back to reality.

But it wasn't enough to make you two stop kissing each other. You had both been secretly waiting for this for too long, and you didn't want to end the kiss right now. Making the most of it was the key point of the situation, and you let your lips linger on San's as if it was the last time before pulling away. The man gave you mere seconds to catch your breath before pulling you in another kiss, your hearts beating furiously against each other as your tongues danced together, head spinning and getting mushy due to all the emotions you were experiencing.

#rosy's special december #san fluff #san timestamp #choi san #ateez #ateez soft hours #ateez soft #ateez christmas #christmas au #choi san soft #choi san soft hours #soft san #san #san x reader #san scenarios #romance #ateez fluff imagines #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez san #ateez reaction #san soft hours #san imagines #san reactions #san soft imagines #atz writers #ateez timestamp #san fanfic #ateez x reader #san drabbles

[trexrambling]

‘Till The End

Summary: Sam and Dean reminisce about the past.

Word Count: 1,547

Warnings: mild language, feeeeeeeeeeeels

Request: Sam and Dean are reminiscing and the Nair incident comes up, leading Sam to share some feelings and things he has never opened up to Dean about. And Dean really listens and hears him. If you make me cry a little that would be lovely. - @awesomesusiebstuff

A/N: Hope you like how it turned out, lovely :) It went a completely different direction than I was originally intending...

The worn, bound photo album hit the table with a loud thump, causing Sam to jump slightly. A rise of dust accompanied it, making his nose itch with the onset of a sneeze that he quickly rubbed away with the side of his hand.

“Man oh man, Sammy,” Dean gleefully chimed, pulling out a chair and joining him at the long desk, “you won’t believe what I found.”

“Hopefully the manuscript we’ve been looking for. Or weapons. You know, the whole point of you going to dig through some of Dad’s old storage units?” 

“Even better.” Dean spun the album towards him and cracked open the cover, a wide smile on his face. 

A faded family picture took up the whole first page, and Sam quickly leaned closer. “Is that-”

“Us, yeah.” Dean’s fingers gently traced the worn outline, of John with an arm around Mary and one hand holding Dean’s while Mary cradled Sam against her chest. An offset look filled his eyes before he collected himself again. “But that’s not what I wanted to show you.”

The playful tone was back, and Sam felt a small twist of dread in his gut that instantaneously manifested into a loud groan when Dean’s hurried flipping finally landed on the sought after page.

“How the hell does that photo even exist?” He reached out to grab the book, but Dean hastily slid it from his grasp.

“Careful, Sammy. You’ll bend the pages.”

“Good.”

“This photo is priceless.”

“I’m bald.”

Dean lost his composure then, a loud laugh rolling from his gut. “Oh man, I’d forgotten that I’d taken this when you weren’t looking. To think that this has been hidden from us all these years when we could have been appreciating the glory of-” Dean flipped the photo towards him with a flourish- “my adorable brother Sam in the most stylish of hats-” Dean’s finger tapped the photo for emphasis- “to hide his balding self from his prom date.”

“I hate you.” 

Dean chuckled again, turning the photo back to his viewpoint, “Hey, you started that one, Sammy. Had it coming.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “I put glitter in the vents of your car. I don’t think that merited ruining the social standing of my life in high school.”

Dean glanced up, “It was my car, Sam.”

“I had to wear a fedora I found at the Salvation Army, and then a beanie in ninety degree weather the rest of the year. People kept asking if I had cancer.”

Dean snorted and went back to flipping through the album. Sam leaned back in his chair with a sigh, his mind starting to wander amongst all the details of that year. 

“Hey... do you remember Mrs. Ambrose?” 

Dean looked up slowly, his eyes narrowing, “The old lady that lived a few streets over from our apartment complex? Not really.”

“She wasn’t old, Dean. She was actually probably the same age you are now,” Sam added, a glint in his eye.

Dean let out a hmmmpff, “I remember you being over there more than you were with us most days after school.”

Sam remembered that, too. How she used to help him with his homework, how she convinced him to stay for dinner almost every night, made him lunches for school the next day. How she let him talk about things he was too embarrassed to discuss with Dean, like girls and fears of moving again and how he didn’t want to be a part of their family business when he graduated, all while she knitted in her worn arm chair, nodding alongside his words and offering her insights when she could. He remembered taking her labrador retriever, Macey, for walks and helping her mow her lawn. He remembered her sharing story after story about her daughter, who had just left for college that year, studying at Stanford. And, most importantly...

“You know, she offered to let me live with her.”

Dean visibly froze, halfway through turning a page of the photo album. He closed the cover instead and slowly sat it back down on the table. “She what?”

“Yeah. She said that she wanted to give me somewhere to stay my senior year so I didn’t have to change schools again.”

“Seriously?” Dean’s tone was short now, almost sharp. “And you actually-”

“No!” Sam interjected. He swallowed, rubbed the palm of his hand. “Well...okay, maybe I did consider it. But I knew it could never happen. I knew Dad would never-”

“So you wanted to,” Dean deadpanned back. Sam couldn’t quite read the look on his face - maybe angry, maybe sad, more likely a mixture of both.

Sam sighed, “That was so long ago, Dean. Why does it even matter now?”

Dean shrugged, “You brought it up, so it obviously matters to you.”

A silence stretched across the room, neither brother saying anything. Sam finally reached out across the table and slid the photo album closer to himself, opening the cracked pages and rifling through them until he found a photo he wanted - him and Dean with wide smiles on their faces, holding a sled bound together with copious amounts of duct tape at the top of a snowy hill.

“Do you remember that Christmas?”

Dean’s eyes flitted to the photo, “You’re changing the subject.”

“I’m not-” Sam sighed exasperatedly- “just... do you remember it? How we found that sled in the dumpster and you ‘fixed’ it for us?”

“Hey, don’t finger quote my ‘fixing’. It worked great.”

Sam let out a short laugh, “Dean, it splintered into at least five pieces on the way down that hill.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth turned up, “Yeah... but it was a hell of a ride.”

Sam nodded slowly in agreement and slid the photo album back to Dean. “You’ve done stuff like that for me my whole life, always looked out for me, even if it was you who got us into the mess in the first place.”

“So why bring up Mrs. Ambrose?”

Sam’s brow furrowed, thinking through how to best articulate his next thoughts. “She... For that short time, it was like I had a mom. Someone to make sure I did my homework and ask me about how my day at school had gone. I don’t know, Dean... I wanted that. I felt cheated from that part of life for so long, and someone was suddenly there, offering it to me with no strings attached.”

Dean nodded, silently listening.

“But... I couldn’t do it. I never could have left you and Dad. Not just because Dad would never have let me leave, but because I knew it was almost summer, and you’d promised to take me on a road trip to see the Spy Museum in D.C..”

“You always were a nerd.”

“We both know you wanted to see the gadgets as badly as I did.”

Dean smiled, “Yeah, maybe. We never ended up making it, though.”

Sam’s jaw clenched sightly, “The case in Saratoga.”

“Yeah. Nasty one.”

Sam nodded and shifted his weight in the chair. “I think... I think that was when I decided to try to make it to college. To Stanford, like Mrs. Ambrose’s daughter had.”

"Huh.”

“Do you still hate me for going?”

Dean looked up sharply, his eyes meeting Sam’s. “Hate you? Sam, I never hated you.” Sam raised an eyebrow, and Dean sighed, “Okay, maybe for a week or two I did. But I think something always told me you’d come back, and until then... I knew you were happy.”

“And here we are,” Sam continued, “living in an underground bunker, three friends to our name, have started and stopped the end of the world more times than the average guy. We’ve traveled all across the country and back to pick up cases, we’ve flown on cursed airplanes and even went on that boat that one time to-”

“Hey,” Dean cut in, “we promised to never mention that again.”

Sam huffed air out his nose in amusement, but let the topic pass. “Hell, Dean, we’ve been to Heaven and Hell, Purgatory and other dimensions of this world. And, after all these years, we still haven’t been to the Spy Museum.”

He’s smiling when he says it, his voice lighthearted, but he can tell by the look on Dean’s face that he needs to say more.

“Dean, you know I wouldn’t trade what we’ve done, what we’ve accomplished, for anything. We’ve come too far to think like that anymore.”

Dean swallowed past the lump in his throat, “Not even for a full head of hair your junior year?”

Sam laughed, rich and hearty, “That is a strong contender.” He reached out and placed his hand firmly on Dean’s forearm. “But no, man. We’re brothers - together, ‘till the end.”

He let his hand rest there for a few moments, giving a small squeeze of reassurance before he got up to leave. His fingers found the photo album, lightly touching the brown leather. “Glad you found this.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, “me too.”

He waited for Sam to exit the room before he found and opened his laptop, quickly navigating to the website for the International Spy Museum. 

Tickets: $26. 

He smiled as he bought two for the week of May 2nd. 

___________________________________

My Forever Lovelies: @wheresthekillswitch @pinknerdpanda @ruprecht0420 @arryn-nyxx @jotink78 @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @super-not-naturall @aiaranradnay @percywinchester27 @hannahindie @rosie-winchester @nanie5 @feelmyroarrrr @mogaruke @escabell @mrswhozeewhatsis @katymacsupernatural @deanssweetheart23 @oneshoeshort  @claire-of-the-country  @keelzy2 @angelsandwinchesters @findingfitnessforme @luulaachops @tas898 @221b-cfordwrites @keepcalmandcarryondean @ravengirl94 @hollygopossumlovesj2 @hennessy0274-blog  @mickey-m399 @autopistaaningunaparte @fandomismyspirit @anticipate1003 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @boxywrites @sylverminx  @watermelonfruitsalad @darthdeziewok @amionthetumbler @smalltowndivaj @supernatural-girl97 @sujuvixxo @imgetting2old4diss @karlilarki @amanda-teaches  @impala-dreamer @kristaparadowski @dancingalone21 @mjdoc90 @jeanjeaniethings @ja9erz  @masksandtruths  @wildlandfox @deanandcassiefan @sandlee44 @obsessivecompulsivespn @poukothenerd @michellethetvaddict @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @blackcherrywhiskey @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @fanfreak07 @cassieraider @there-must-be-a-lock @oh-balls-you-idjits @speakinvain @ellen-reincarnated1967 @atc74 @yourvoiceislikearose @superwholockmarauder @copperseraphim  @mouselovesmusic @petra-arkanian-1497 @kornerstone234 @spnbaby-67 @wickidlady @dapresidentsshoelaces @claitynroberts @amythyststorm33 @sleepless-sin @hunterswearingplaid @andkatiethings @waywardrose13 @salt-n-burn-em-all @deansenwackles @calaofnoldor @imsuperawkward

#till the end #spn fanfic #dean winchester #sam winchester #winchester brothers #brothers to the end

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #271

“some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses.”

Do you cook on the stove at all, or just microwave? I just use the microwave. I'm scared of the stove lmao. Do you ever debate religion with your friends? Bruuuh no. I am so disinterested in debating about something that to me ultimately doesn't matter yet humanity has made so serious. Whatever happens after we die, happens, there's that. Just be a decent human being and go out knowing you did your best to make the world better than when you entered it. Do you keep your shampoo in the shower or someplace else? In the shower. Something your mother said or did that shocked you: Like... recently? Or in my entire life? I dunno about recently, but I guess the most shocking to me was when she vehemently called my sister something I won't repeat. Did your mom go to college? She was before the cancer. Ready to graduate, too, but that didn't go as planned thanks to, y'know, cancer. Which food do you think you have the most cans of in your cupboard? Good question, no clue. I don't really pay attention to the canned foods. Maybe fruits? Do you save fortunes from fortune cookies? No. Are you offended when Christmas is spelled Xmas? Nah. Where do you put your keys when you come home? In my purse. Describe your favorite mug or glass to drink from? I don't have one. That I use, anyway. Sara gave me a Markiplier quote one that's a Holy Item on my shelf and instead of holding a beverage holds All My Love. Your bad habit that you love the most: UGH I hate how much I love soda. Invent a pop tart flavor: STORY TIME!!!! As a kid, there was this contest to design a type and you won like... a fucking huge supply of the newest flavor, which was at the time that wild berry whatever thing. My sister and I made one that I think I recall being pink with heart sprinkles and strawberry flavored, and we won. Guess who fucking hates the wild berry flavor now lmao. Okay but anyway if I was to invent one now... is there a BLUE raspberry flavor? Cuz a bitch loves blue raspberry flavored everything. Do you name your pets after tv/movie/book characters: Sometimes. I don't currently have a pet that is, though. Are you proud of yourself for what you've accomplished? The few things I actually have, sure? I'm more ashamed of what I haven't. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nooooo no one would want to see me in that, least of all myself lmao. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? No. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? Uhhh I don't think so? Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream. Have you gotten your pets spayed? My cat is. That's like... the only pet we ever have fixed, sadly. My parents/Mom (depending on time period) could just never afford it. The only real reason we managed to get Roman neutered was because our sister directed us to a cheap on-the-go business where it was like... only $45, and Roman was marking the house badly so it was pretty urgent. Would you ever take in a stray animal? HA, that is the STORY of my family with cats. At this current time, most likely not. We don't need another pet right now, nevermind one of a mysterious background with my mom being sick. When is payday? N/A Have you ever walked on a runway before? No. How long is your workday? N/A Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? No. What is your favorite color? What is your least favorite color? Pink is superior to all colors. I'm really not a puke-green fan, but I mean... is anyone? What color dominates your wardrobe? Everything is B L A C K. What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. Are you colorblind, or do you know anyone who is? I'm not, but Jason's brother is colorblind to I think red and blue? Do you prefer color photos or black-and white? It greatly depends on the composition and subject matter of the photograph. I find great beauty in both. If I had to pick though, color usually appeals to me more. Are you one of those people who can taste, feel, or smell colors? No. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? Yes. Do you enjoy coloring? It tends to be my least-favorite part of the art process because that's where I always fuck shit up. Do you know anyone who is racist? Oh my, PLENTY. Welcome to the South. Are your nails painted any color(s) right now? They never are. Can you lift more than 100lbs? I probably CAN, but it would be very hard. What's your opinion on incest? It's fucking repulsive. Morally and negative from a scientific standpoint, anyway. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Orange. What video games did you play when you were younger? I was a massive gamer as a kid, teenager too, so I could put a hell of a lot here. But, I'll just imagine you're referring to when I was quite young. The Spyro games (save for Skylanders) were my LIFE, I loved Nintendogs, the Crash Bandicoot trilogy, lots of games that were based on movies (like Madagascar and Finding Nemo are two I really enjoyed), uhhh... OH! And absolutely weird, but I loved hunting games. Like, I had a whooole lot, despite hating real life hunting even as a child. I think it was because I got to see wild animals, plus it could be calming to wander and scary, too, when things like wolves found you. Oh, and then there were fishing games, too. LOOK I just love(d) games. Would you ever get a tramp stamp? I hate that nickname. Having a tattoo literally anywhere does not equate you to a stereotype. Yes, because I want to be heavily tattooed anyway. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? No. Not that I didn't care at all, I just wasn't a giant fan. What's the ugliest species of animal? Lmao how mean. The blobfish immediately comes to mind, though. Looks like a ball of mucus shaped into an old man's face. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I used to be, now it's just like whatever. I like what I like. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? YouTube. Do people know a lot about you? Places on the Internet sure do lmao. I try to be much more private now online to a degree, depending on where. Irl, no. I'm too easily embarrassed/afraid of being judged for what makes me, me. Who was the last person you slept beside? Sara. Do you like Metallica? They're one of my all-time favorites and I trust NOBODY who claims to hate them. What's your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a fan of soup. What’s your best friend's favorite band? Her all-time favorite is Pink Floyd. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Ummm idr. Do you play Guitar Hero? Not really anymore, but I fuckin slayed that shit back in the day. Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's. Who was the last person to come to your house? My younger sister. What time do you usually eat dinner? Anywhere between 5:30 to like... 7:00 or so. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Not this current one, no. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No? Some people don't like hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? I don't know. Is covid gonna be history by then? It depends on a lot of things. What have you done so far this summer? *blink blink blink* What's your favorite punk band? Honestly, I don't even really separate bands by genres now because I don't know. There's so so many, plenty overlap, etc. etc, and people - especially those who enjoy rock/metal stuff, I've found - get all snobbish and "WELL ACTUALLY" when you "misgenre" or whatever. Which is better: cold or hot weather? COLD. FUCK hot weather. Anything above ~75*F is disgusting. Is photography something you enjoy? I'm an aspiring photographer so like- What’s the best flavor snow cone? I haven't had a legit snow cone in years... but we have a place called Pelican's Snowballs, which is really just like... snow cones in a cup? They are A M A Z I N G and strawberry is to die for. When driving, are you a speed demon or do you drive like your grandmother? I don't drive because I'm terrified to. Have you ever met someone who just had you at hello? No. Bet you were expecting "Jason," but no, I was weirded out that a stranger just comes up to me in the hall on the way to class and starts talking to me. Have you ever written poetry? Yeah. Do you have any addictions? Technology, ugh. And soda, rip. When was the last time you just laid and looked at the stars? Laid, many years ago one summer when Jason and I were just lying on the trampoline while my dad was grilling. What song reminds you of an ex? A lot. What color eyeliner do you prefer? Black. What was the last thing that you made with your own two hands? Like, made from scratch? Hell if I know. What’s the deepest water you will wade into? Like, shoulder-deep in the ocean. How many blades does your razor have? Three, I think? Highest grade of education you’ve completed? Just one semester of college. Lowest grade you’ve received on a test? Yikes, Fs in college math. He taught in such an abstract way that I failed like... every test, or nearly did. I was too afraid to ask questions continuously. Do you enjoy sitting in the sun or the shade more? There is NO situation where I would rather be in the sun. Do you enjoy going to arcades? Hell yeah. What parades do you like to go to? None. When’s the last time you went on a tirade? I ranted to Mom about the fucking ridiculous anti-maskers that are a big reason this motherfucking pandemic is worsening in America. With my mom being immunocompromised, it is something I take VERY goddamn seriously. It's not a difference in opinion - it's a difference in morality. Do you like to play charades? I loved to as a kid. Now it'd feel weird. Would you ever lead a crusade? I wouldn't want to lead anything. Have your parents ever forbade you from doing something? Aha, so as a kid, I had a game demo disc that showed the preview to Parasite Eve, and my sisters and I would secretly watch it despite it scaring us to where Mom did forbid us to click on it. And all these years later, I've played it and love it... ha ha. Otherwise, my parents have always been pretty open to letting us do stuff, save for things the usual parent doesn't like, like swearing. When’s the last time someone said something degrading to you? A few days back when I got into an argument on Facebook about some asshole teasing their newly-hatched cobra to where it kept striking at the tongs, hood flared and all. Apparently I had no idea what I was talking about, pointing out the snake was clearly stressed out. What’s the last homemade dish you’ve made? I legit haven't cooked a thing since Sara was here and I made her eggs for breakfast. Which was like, a year ago. Do you like lemonade? What flavor(s)? Broooo YES. Pink lemonade is better, but I enjoy just the classic kind, too. Has anyone ever serenaded you before? Fuck this question. Would you like to visit the Everglades? Lemme see them motherfuckin GATORS. Have you ever attended a masquerade ball before? No. Would be dope, though. Have you lost anyone to AIDS? No, thank god. Have you ever been paid for sex? Hell no. Have you ever had a maid in your home before? HUNNY we are too poor for that shit. Do you know how to do different types of braids in hair? No. When’s the last time you wore a Band-aid? Where and why? I have no clue. When was the last time you were afraid? Of what? A family friend was over here a couple days ago and she had this weirdest muscle cramp in her leg that brought her to the floor gasping for like over a minute. I was super scared, and Mom was too, as we had no idea what to do. I almost had to call 911. Crazy woman hasn't gone to the doctor about it, to my knowledge. Would you ever consider growing your hair out to your waist, or longer? NOOOO NO NO. I am probably having short hair for the rest of my life. Is there anywhere in your house that you're scared to be alone in? No. What is your favorite shoe brand? I don't have one. What weird things did you do as a small child? I was just a weird kid in general. I did a lotta stuff that would make people raise a brow. Who puts the most pressure on you in your life? My goddamn self. Do you laugh off embarrassing moments? Hell no, I turn red as a cherry and probably cry once I'm in private. Do you have a favourite actor/actress? If so, who? No. Do you like little kids, or do they annoy you? I feel uncomfortable around them. They're too brutally honest, I feel like every move I make is wrong, and I just generally feel incapable of handling them properly. Do you want a small or a large family when you get older? Well, I don't want any kids, so... Are you a good dancer? If not, do you enjoy dancing anyways? No and no. I'd be embarrassed. Have you ever lied to avoid getting into trouble? Yeah. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I'd say two weeks is pretty long, and I was supposed to stay an entire month. I only got out of that by going to court. Do you take a lot of pictures of yourself, or are you camera shy? I HATE being in front of the camera. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? I just like ketchup, mustard, and pickles, really. A bit of diced onion is fine, too. I prefer gas; I hate the charcoal-y taste. You are chosen to have lunch with the president. the condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask? Fuck that, I'd decline going to begin with. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies? Popcorn, of course. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email? Pop-up ads. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding? N/A What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Probably like, wrestling. Golf. Sports in general. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? I haven't tried it yet. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose? I always just use chocolate syrup. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? CHRIST, TRAFFIC. Elevators kinda scare me and I'm very scared of being stuck in one. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to anything? Halocene's cover of "Killing In The Name." Have you parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Who was the last person to give you money? I have no idea. Have you ever dreamed of someone you barely know? Actually yeah. Weird as hell. When was the most recent time, if ever, that you felt “impostor syndrome,” or that you felt unqualified to be somewhere? Hm. I suppose when I went to the doctor by myself for my foot. I'd never done an appointment without Mom at all, and I was veeery clueless to a lot of steps, questions, etc. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Some TV shows, I guess. Or games, even. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? No. I was expected to always be doing something. I'd consider that to be pretty unlucky, as it sounds boring and pointless. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I don't know. Mom has admitted me yelling has scared her before, though. I can yell pretty fucking loudly. But she herself never felt threatened. And do I think I could be seen as scary? Yes. Especially given my chronic fucking nightmares that almost always involve confrontation. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) I am VERY much a "words of affirmation" person. I NEED reassurance that I'm adequate and sincerely loved. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I become very snappy and more reclusive than usual. I cry really easily. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends on what it is, but I've generally needed to wean myself off of things when necessary. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I am very turned off by animal breeds/types that are subject to serious health issues, such as pugs, dachsunds, Persians, spider ball pythons... Just don't fucking breed them. Ironically, some of these are the cutest, but I care far more about the health of the animal. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yes and yes. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't believe so, no. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job, for Heaven's sake, and actually managing to keep it. I've proven inept in this area so far, so, I've already failed that. :^) If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? Jason and I kinda casually talked about kids early in our relationship, at which time I didn't see myself wanting them at all and he did at some point. It didn't really bother either of us, though; it was something we'd figure out if we actually got anywhere. Then he became the only person I could ever imagine myself having kids with. Life's funny.

#survey #quiz #questions

[angry-mango]

questions

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? smart, sweet, quiet

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? glass bottles, but if that’s not an option then soda cans

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? pastelpreppygoth

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones

8. movies or tv shows? tv shows

9. favorite smell in the summer? rain or vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.? tug of war

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? water real breakfast used to be like scrambled eggs w bread and orange juice

12. name of your favorite playlist? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

13. lanyard or key ring? i prefer key ring because it’s easier to put in a bag, but i love my lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? jolly ranchers or sweet tarts

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? number the stars - lois lawry

16. most comfortable position to sit in? knees to chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? high slipons (i have no idea what they’re called tbh)

18. ideal weather? gentle rain

19. sleeping position? side or stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? here (tumblr)

21. obsession from childhood? owls or cheetah print omfg

22. role model? nobody, trying to be myself

23. strange habits? biting everything

24. favorite crystal? lapis lazuli

25. first song you remember hearing? a thousand miles - vanessa carlton

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? park or the falls (outdoor mall)

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? literally anything outdoors, i want to enjoy it

28. five songs to describe you? ive got a dark alley, sleep, disloyal order of water buffaloes, wilson (expensive mistakes), i don’t care

29. best way to bond with you? include me in things, make an effort to talk to me, try your best to sympathize with my many moods

30. places that you find sacred? hands, neck, downthere

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? silk japanese-ish jacket, black jeans, boots

32. top five favorite vines? a potato flew around my room before u came, u not my dad, NO!!, pReTtY CooL!!, sharkeisha no

33. most used phrase in your phone? sksks

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? target, this ford one from christmas

35. average time you fall asleep? 1 am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? doge

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? iced green tea - if not, then lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? my elementary went on lockdown once and we were trapped in the cafeteria and we heard the gunmans footsteps running on the roof, heard doors getting knocked down, couple gunshots but nobody got hurt

41. last person you texted? ollie

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, although i’ve always wanted a bomber or leather

44. favorite scent for soap? pomegranate

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? baggy shirt & leggings

47. favorite type of cheese? american

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? cherry 🍒

49. what saying or quote do you live by? it’s always been “nothing lasts forever” - you might change that

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? the randomest shit you can come up with

51. current stresses? losing someone

52. favorite font? i think it’s georgia

53. what is the current state of your hands? soft, cold, kinda wrinkly smfh

54. what did you learn from your first job? n/a

55. favorite fairy tale? i don’t know

56. favorite tradition? don’t have any traditions, other than cooking every thanksgiving

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? surviving, fasting, dieting when i was on my deathbed

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i’m great at video games, i can hold my breath for like a minute, i’m loyal (is that a talent), and i have good control for certain things

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? it be like that

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? the only anime i’ve ever seen is voltron

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? i don’t know ive seen too many

62. seven characters you relate to? ronald weasley thats it

63. five songs that would play in your club? pet cheetah, the (after) life of the party, planetary (go!), young volcanoes, clocks

64. favorite website from your childhood? coolmathgames

65. any permanent scars? i don’t know if they’re permanent but things that have been there a handful of years, yes - mosquito bites (i’m a terrible healer) some cuts, and a scratch on my foot

66. favorite flower(s)? carnations, snapdragons, lilies

67. good luck charms? tahitian bracelet, bee necklace

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? coconut

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? how to absolutely slay at video games

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? zig zag only cuz it’s hard to draw

72. worst subject? social studies

73. favorite weird flavor combo? does spicy doritos inside sandwiches count

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? twelve (12)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? i have no idea but i think i was 4

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? chips (specifically lays)

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? never grown any plants indoors :(( i’ve always had pets that could potentially eat them and overprotective parents

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? i don’t like sushi so i’ll go with coffee even though i’ve never had it from a gas station what’s the big deal

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? my school id, dear god my license pic is absolutely horrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones? dark jewels

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? aren’t they the same thing- unless u mean what do i call them, then fireflies

82. pc or console? console

83. writing or drawing? writing

84. podcasts or talk radio? neither

84. barbie or polly pocket? polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? tornadoes

88. your greatest wish? you

89. who would you put before everyone else? ollie

90. luckiest mistake? dropping out of school (it’s complicated, but i’ve thought about it and decided it was)

91. boxes or bags? boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight and fairy lights

93. nicknames? aknee, angel

94. favorite season? winter

95. favorite app on your phone? messaging, tumblr, pocket camp

96. desktop background? my favorite sim

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? three

98. favorite historical era? ew history

#questions

[theleastcarefulofgamedevs]

hehehehehehehehe ur turn. overshare pals

hehe im lov u ceec :)

---

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles and soda cans!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate.... im lov it

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

hardworking, earnest, and honestly? they gave me too much credit ebagweaganegioawnegew

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between boho, goth, and grunge hehe

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones!

8. movies or tv shows?

movies,,

9. favorite smell in the summer?

you know that wet pavement smell after it rains? love that

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dodgeball hehehe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

nothin tbh. i don’t wake up early enough for it

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Writing Music! i made it hehehe

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMY BEARS AND JELLY BEANS

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“A Child Called ‘It’“ by Dave Pelzer

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

cuddled up to someone in blankets,,, im lov anything with my s/o tbh

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

i have this beat up pair of blue slip ons that have bloodstains on em bc i got a nosebleed one day bwaeiugbaweugbaweubguaw

18. ideal weather?

post-raining, or like. just before it starts raining

19. sleeping position?

anything with my s/o or bein wrapped in like. a billion blankets

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on my home pc in my room!

21. obsession from childhood?

dice and video games!

22. role model?

i know it’s gonna sound dumb but like. a lot of characters from media have influenced me a lot, like sans/komaeda etc. another one from my real life would be my aunt on my mom’s side!

23. strange habits?

i bounce my leg while listening to music or stressed,, that’s abt it. OH and i like twirling a small blanket around on my arm bc... acrobatics of sorts

24. favorite crystal?

amethyst, but anything clean cut and rounded looks rlly nice imo,,

25. first song you remember hearing?

the first day i remember in my life was christmas at my grandma’s when i was 4, so probably random christmas music ubwegebwgwebgoibgweg

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

sometimes when i get tired of sitting around at home i like to walk down to the dog park by my house! 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

cuddle,,,,,,,,,,, wrap up in a blanket with some freshly baked cookies n just. be there

28. five songs to describe you?

megalovania, medley rush 2 from the sonic rush ost, the promised neverland english op, metal crusher from undertale, metal scratchin’ from sonic rush

29. best way to bond with you?

just talk to me! im godawful at starting convos but i love talkin to ppl! 

30. places that you find sacred?

every person’s room feels that way, as well as obvious places, like churches n whatnot. we went n visited my aunt’s old house so my mom could pick up some stuff and being in her room after she died in 2015 was just like. an emotion i can’t rlly describe

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

hoodie, trackpants, n sneakers hehe

32. top five favorite vines?

back at it again @ krispy kreme, ADAM, they were roommates, two dudes in a hot tub, my croissant

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either “be there soon” or “ily” 

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

none tbh. i don’t watch much tv so i don’t see ads often

35. average time you fall asleep?

either 10:30 or sometime after midnight. no in between 

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

it was a rage comic

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade, but i LOVE tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

LEMON CAKE....

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

i was walkin in the halls with my friend and someone dropped a styrofoam cup of pasta on my friend’s head from the second floor awbegiuawbeguiawbguaewg

41. last person you texted?

the person who sent this ask heheheheh

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets!

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie!

44. favorite scent for soap?

anything really, but i like whatever my s/o uses bc it would remind me of them!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

underwear tbh. like. that and a tshirt or just underwear is the only way i can sleep

47. favorite type of cheese?

sensory issues say i have to hate all kinds of cheese outside of like. grilled cheese so let’s go with that/cheddar

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

dragonfruit! 

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

GOD pretty much every quote from monomi or chiaki in danganronpa 2, but mostly “if you learn to love yourself, that love will continue to carry you for your whole life! love, love...”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

OH HERES A FUCKIN STORY OK so i was at my friend’s house with a bunch of others bc we were doin a sleepover type thing and we were eating raising canes in his attic at like 3 am and some guy high on like. 3 different drugs at once got impaled through the leg on his fence. nobody saw him but we knew he was there and the cops were there in like 3 minutes. that very same friend has some of the most wack stories ngl

51. current stresses?

just doing well in school and making sure my s/o is happy!

52. favorite font?

comic sans.......................... im sorry

53. what is the current state of your hands?

my palms b sweaty but my fingers are dehydrated tbh. typin

54. what did you learn from your first job?

work.... difficult

55. favorite fairy tale?

probably the princess and the frog!

56. favorite tradition?

christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

probably my most noteworthy traumas tbh. gettin therapy for em, too

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

writing, my ability to overcome obstacles, being able to help ppl as well as i can, and making friends fast!

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Not dead yet.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Probably either shounen, romance, or moe,,,,

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“It’s a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming. On days like these, kids like you... should be burning in hell.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

sans, komaeda, makoto naegi, komaru naegi, toko fukawa, chiaki nanami, and chihiro fujisaki!

63. five songs that would play in your club?

they’d all be fall out boy tbh. that and videogame osts

64. favorite website from your childhood?

armor games hehe

65. any permanent scars?

i don’t think so? at least, not yet

66. favorite flower(s)?

roses and anything blue!

67. good luck charms?

my dice sets!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

vanilla york peppermint patties... gross

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

pikmin in pikmin 1 who are underneath a bridge when it’s completed are killed because they get pushed through the ground

70. left or right handed?

right handed!

71. least favorite pattern?

probably the hellish bumpy pattern all teachers have all over their fuckin classrooms

72. worst subject?

math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

chicken nuggets in milkshake... good. or frankly just like. cooked chicken mixed with anythin cold like ice or ice cream

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like. 3 or 4

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i was eating a crunch bar and it fell out hehe

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

I WOULD DIE FOR FRENCH FRIES.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

any small blooming plant, like a single rose or flower!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

hrm. coffee from a gas station tbh

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

NEITHER LOOK GOOD LMAO and i don’t have a driver’s license. that’s just like. a prediction

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

jewel tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs!

82. pc or console?

either works but i spend more time on pc!

83. writing or drawing?

writing, but i like both!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio, but i love podcasts like TAZ or Critical Role! 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither? but probably barbie bc it’s more well known? idk

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes all the way b

87. your greatest fear?

me being the last person i know alive. i’d rather die than outlive everyone

88. your greatest wish?

i hope that no matter what there is after we die, i get to be with the people that are most important to me. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my s/o and family tbh

90. luckiest mistake?

buying danganronpa bweguowabguawebogbaweibg

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights!

93. nicknames?

i go by wes, dev, bines, anything rlly

94. favorite season?

spring!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr hehe

96. desktop background?

it’s the ddlc cast! it’s a greyscaled image of four of the events cut together and their eyes glow hehe

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only one, and it’s my dads bc i have to call him every time i go to my grandparents’ hehe

98. favorite historical era?

probably the one we’re in now tbh, but like. also hate it

[my-wayward-son]

6 months on T (and a lot of thoughts)

Pre-T-------------------------> 6 Months on T

December 22nd was actually the 6-month mark.  The second photo there was taken on December 24th.  I was going to put up some schmancy Christmas Eve post saying how grateful I am for the gift of open mindedness and the opportunity to medically transition, but I didn’t.  I got all dressed up for church and took a good selfie, but by the time I got home I wasn’t feeling well, so I never wrote up anything.  

Then I saw my parents on Christmas Day, and it went ok (which was actually a miracle, and I’m thankful for that), but by the time I got home I wasn’t feeling well.  Again.  

Then I worked two days, and I got stressed. 

Then there was a snowstorm (night of the 27th into the 28th), so my office was closed

I went to the doctor yesterday.  The appointment was completely representative of how my life is going right now.  It was kind of a disaster, but also completely fine.  It was snowy.  I was high.  I should not have been driving.  I’m not healthy, mentally or physically, but I’m managing well enough with 3 medications for my headache syndrome, 2 for mental health, and 2 for sleep.  

It’s now December 29th.  I still don’t know what I want to say.  

I’ll start with observations, because those are the easiest to lay out.  I was on 100mg testosterone per week for about 4 months, then 75 mg/week for a month, and now 50 mg/week.  Based on labs done on December 14th, my T levels are consistent with males my age.  I have more body hair, but still not a ton (but then again, my dad doesn’t hav a ton).  Lots of leg hair, slight happy trail, slightly more arm hair (but that’s still soft/downy and blonde).  I have facial hair coming in as a moustache, beard, and sideburns, though it’s patchy.  I’ll get a lot of long downy blonde hairs with like 2 dark coarse ones.  I shave about once every 2 weeks.  

My body shape has changed pretty dramatically, and I’m very pleased with that.  I can’t exercise all the time because I’ve been sick, but I can tell I have more lean muscle around my arms/shoulders and in my legs.  I have less of a waist/hip ratio, but it’s not completely gone yet.  I hope over the next year I will lose an inch around my hips and put it around my waist.

My voice is still dropping, which is kind of blowing my mind.  For the first time ever, I like my voice.  I get a nice resonance/vibration in my chest when I speak, which actually makes it easier to speak.  I have a stutter which can at times be severe, and while it hasn’t exactly gotten better, I’m more comfortable working through it in public now.  The one thing I liked about my feminine voice is that I used to sing and harmonize with certain songs, going an octave above the recording.  I can’t do that anymore, but I can now go an octave below a few different songs.  That made me pretty happy the other day.

As far as passing goes, I’m skidding by.  I pass more often than not now, but it hasn’t reached 100% yet.  I use the men’s bathroom full time, and get zero shit for it.  When strangers need to refer to me, I typically get assigned they/them pronouns, which is surprising and totally ok with me.  When I need to tell people my name (which is not Laur; that’s a nickname for my middle name), they often ask me how to spell it.  It’s not a hard name to spell, but I think they’re trying to check that it is in fact the male name they think they heard, and not a female name that sounds similar.  With people I know, they use the correct name consistently, but pronoun slip-ups happen.  Even the receptionist at my doctor’s office misgendered me the other day, but it was in a context like “He needs-- He wants-- She said-- He needs--”  So, no big deal.  She was trying, and that’s all I can ask for.  And that thing about how the way your hairstylist subconsciously genders you dramatically affecting the kind of haircut you’ll wind up with?  It’s totally true.  Even if you say you want a men’s style and show a picture of a man with that hair style, you will not leave with that if the stylist/barber reads you as female.

My family is complicated.  I’ve never been especially close with the extended fam, and we’re collectively embarking on the new territory of children becoming caregivers (with my parents and their siblings taking responsibility for their parents).  So things are weird.  I’m in neutral/positive communication with about half my family members, and with the rest, I’m not sure if we’re out of touch because they don’t like me or because they’re overwhelmed with stuff going on in their own lives.  

You already know the intense drama going on with my parents, especially my mom.  We’ve reached a point where I think my mom and I both realize that there’s no point in repeating history.  We’ve argued.  Extensively.  Until one of us has something new to say, we’re better off not talking about sore topics.  My mom has a habit of making everything political (like a comment about the weather becomes a comment about climate change which becomes a comment about the president, which spirals out control from there), but over Christmas, she was actively stopping herself before steering towards troublesome subjects.  It doesn’t mean she respects me any more than she did 6 months ago, and she’s still wishing for the impossible.  She told me a couple weeks ago that she doesn’t want me to be burdened with the responsibility of her unhappiness, but she also “has strong opinions about the way things should be.”  Like, how can I not have the burden of her unhappiness once she’s said that??  But at least she’s seeing things a bit more realistically.  I am her son.  Christmas fights are bad.

In the midst of all the not-so-good, I don’t take enough time to be grateful for what I have.  In these last 6 months, I’ve grown more confidence and self-love than I’ve ever had in my life.  I still have a long ways to go.  I know self-harm and substance abuse are not sustainable methods for dealing with my problems, but the fact that I’m trying to deal with my problems instead of letting them overwhelm me has to be worth something.  I’ve gained a found family with bonds a thousand times stronger than anything I have with my blood family.  I don’t know what my future is going to look like, and also for the first time in my life, I’m ok with that.  As long as I have my support system and the people I care about, I know we’ll figure it out somehow.  We’ve put a lot of duct tape and krazy glue on my day-to-day routine, and by and large, the levy is holding.  It leaks, but it hasn’t broken.  

I wrote a book this year.  I started painting this year.  I fell in love this year.  I became a man this year.  It’s important not to forget anything that happened this year.  I will learn and grow from all of it.  But these are the things I especially want to remember.

#laur talks #family issues #LGBT Issues #self harm tw #substance abuse tw #trans issues

[nightmarecatart]

Myths and Lies- Chapter 1- Part 1

Chapter 1

Present day

When I was five, I learned how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism because I was bored. I had no brothers to keep me occupied and I learned from an early age, the only way my half sister and me would see eye-to-eye would be if I ripped her eyes out. Tempting, shame it would be illegal with a long prison sentence.

Me being bored happened a lot.

At five years, old I also figured out the only contribution my dad had to my life is his DNA. I’ve got –my mum- Diana’s blonde hair but I’m pretty sure I got my brown eyes from him. In the name blaming game, apparently, my mum chose my first name; Alexa and he chose the unmentionable middle name. I wasn't sure if my mum was just angry with, 'invisi dad,' that day. Another story is my middle name came from one of the mutual likes both my parents had.

People bond over TV programmes, food, technology. My parents bonded over Greek mythology. Out of all the Greek Mythology names they could have picked, they picked the name of a Goddess who got kidnapped to the land of the dead. I envy kids who grew up with fairy tales as bedtime stories and girls who got to dress as princesses. I got the adventures of Zeus and got sent in a toga for fancy dress day.

On top of that, shortly after I was five, it was announced to me Father Christmas didn’t exist. By the age of six, I figured men and fathers were trouble.

The past almost thirteen years after that realisation, the male gender has done nothing to make up for themselves. Except occasionally throwing me the odd chocolate on Valentines Day. However, when I was thirteen Valentines Day chocolates did more damage. The current boyfriend at the time gave me a packet of Revels. Toffee Revels do not mix with braces. I spent my time in the orthodontist chair, thinking how I was going to dump that boyfriend. Due to my interest in science, I was split between using gravity: dropping a rock with the message on him or burning the message on his morning registration table using PH1 acid. I swayed more to the first option, as I wouldn't have to face a reminder of that relationship for the rest of my time at school.

My lack of faith in men has sort of left a large gap, when it comes to my tolerance in them. Enough to say the guy who stole my first kiss, ended up with a broken nose and I ran away screaming. Any confrontations with boys, my friends ultimately dealt with them for me. This means the first boyfriend got saved from being hit by a rock.

Fate had it; I was born in the summer. I could spend the last few days of my year staring up at the sky behind sunglasses, sipping ice-cold cola. Thankful, that the braces went before I turned fourteen; therefore, I can drink those kinds of, “Bad for your teeth,” Drinks. The orthodontist, who lived down the road from me, wouldn't catch me and tell me off with a lecture on braces rules. I know dentists don't live in their surgeries, but why does mine have to live down the road? Or did he offer some sort of same postcode discount? Apart from the orthodontist living near me, another thing was bad about summer. I was born on the wrong side of summer.

My mother gave birth to me in the middle of July. Meaning I have to spend my birthdays in school. Visions of me sunbathing down by the brook or the back garden, turned into sunbathing on the school field listening to screaming school kids. On this occasion, my birthday is on the final exam of my sixth form life. At least this gave two things to celebrate. My eighteenth birthday and the end of sixth form and I can start my gap year then get off to university.

It is due to my mum I’m taking a gap year. She hinted at things I could be doing, not one of the hints put me out of fifty miles’ radius of our, 'busy when it wants to be,' town. I put it down to she didn't want to be left alone in the oversized house and the desire she has to keep me from the outside world.

Annoyingly, from the age of eighteen she let Sarah, my half-sister, go travelling. Sarah disappears at the end of spring then reappears at the end of winter. She brings with her blossom on the trees, warmer weather and my desperate want to shoot her. My mum makes up the story that she is with her dad. That isn't proven in the Facebook photos Sarah posts. Pretty sure I've seen Sarah's dad, he doesn't look like any of the men in the photos.

Growing up, my mum did the thing of smothering me, I'm nearly eighteen and I still have a curfew. I'm expected to spend the next year working in a travel agent; I’m still waiting for my mother to see the irony.

The only good things coming my way this year: My two friends have decided to stay, and I get to stay in a clean house with my garden obsessed mother who will feed me.

Hopefully, my mind won't be damaged too much; chances are my mum's friend Athena will be over on her weekly visits making sure I'm not glued to the TV.

“I cannot believe it is our final few days here.” A blur of white and black wheeled past me in the student council room. The blur woman is being the monster of distraction. I’ve been trying to do some revision for the biology exam, which is sometime after lunch, or fifth period according to the timetable. I say sometime after lunch as the exam hall or gym is across the field, down a hill and past the smokers. I might as well start making my way there early, in case the hill decides to hate me.

“Really? You have a calendar that has counted down to these very days since September!” I sighed, pointing over to Yuuki's vibrant wall in the student council room. How Yuuki got on the student council I have no idea… actually blackmail comes to mind. The calendar is pinned in the corner is only thing that hasn't changed on her wall since September. Yuuki covered the walls in her latest Hollywood crush. This month it’s Clark Gable.

“Well I needed to put something in the calendar! Really Alexa, not everyone takes these exams seriously.” She’s probably hinting at the fact my calendar had counted down to these exams since the beginning of the year. “Besides I like the cute kittens on my calendar.” She smirked, revealing blue teeth and the fact she had been on the blue raspberry Popsicles again. At least her white shirt isn't Popsicle tie-dyed, like last time.

“Yuuki, shouldn't you either be revising or finalising student council things? For once, follow the rules on what we should, be doing in here.” Sophia called buried under paper at the other side of the room. Sophia made me glad I’m not a part of this council. It looked too much work, even if you did have Yuuki proving you could do this work with little effort, but then she normally did nothing.

However, I felt part of their pain. My luck my two close friends dragged me to wait outside every fortnightly meeting.

“If we are playing by rules. I'm kicking Alexa out; she isn't a member of the council!” Yuuki argued.

“Please do that. I might get some work done.” I groaned, tempted to bash my head on the wooden desk. I only come in here because they decide to do work every so often, or Sophia does work, Yuuki messes about. Sophia's auburn hair poked out of the paper after that.

“Alexa isn't going anywhere.” Sophia replied bluntly, pushing her reading glasses up.

“Actually, I might as well get some air. This exam might kill me. Or at least make me kill the person in front of me, that way I can examine their lungs to get the respiration questions right.”

“This is why I was against you taking biology.” Sophia stated.

“To be honest, Soph. You were against her taking nearly all the subjects here. What was it? Textiles, she would stick pins into people’s eyes... Not that she has the imagination for the arts-.”

“Yuuki. Shut up.” I said. I didn't need this a short time away from the exam. Like usual, Yuuki is too persistent and continued talking about me to Sophia.

“Geography, you were worried she would learn where to plant explosives or bury bodies. Sociology and psychology, we didn't need her to find out more things wrong with society or find out exactly how the mind works. You were pretty sure, that if she took those two subjects we would be looking at a real-life psychological horror film.”

“Ok Yuuki.” Sophia interrupted. “I complained a lot two years ago, I get it.”

“Complained?” Yuuki coughed with sarcasm, dragging out another melting ice pop, from God knows where.

“I'm going out.” I sighed. I’m used to the words that came with how my mind worked, hence I’m used to the isolation. I’m the seventeen-year-old female who is uncomfortable around people especially men, but I am also the person who understood people to the point it became freaky.

“Alexa!” Sophia called. I walked out of the modern decorated room to the pale corridor. Sophia will tell me to get back inside, if I obeyed her and stopped in the stuffy room, my headache would worsen.

Anyone else would have to add in time to figure out how to get through the labyrinth of corridors and one-way system this school has. Luckily after a few hit and miss tries here when I first started this school about six years ago, I got the navigation down to an art.

I felt like running out of the gates and throw myself on the long grass near the pond in the middle of the woods. If only, ‘I didn’t fancy doing the exam,' turned out to be an appropriate excuse to get out of an A-level exam. Maybe I should do that. Thanks to my mother, my life isn't going anywhere. She might as well chain me to the side of a cliff like they do in Greek Mythology.

“Persephone. Why did they have to pick Persephone?” I almost screamed it out loud to stop myself from hitting my head against something hard or going back to my habit of pulling my hair. As if knowing Greek Mythology stories weren't enough. I get reminded of it every time someone says my full name. “Why not let the ground swallow me up and take me to the Underworld like in the story?” I groaned, kicking a stone by the tree near the broken fence.

I rested my forehead on the tree trunk closing my eyes tight. Wishing for change. Something light land on my head, I opened my eyes and stepped back to find a dozen leaves floating to the ground.

“I've lost it.” I muttered.

“Persephone Kora.” I jumped. Turning to find the man who had sang that, he sounded proud of himself. This is the reason I’m not allowed to carry any sort of weapon on me.

“That is not my name.” I hissed, curling my fists at my sides.

“You said it was a moment ago.” The light-haired man grinned.

“No, I didn't.” I answered, trying to remember exactly what I said in that rant. I know for certain I did not say, 'I'm Persephone,' I'd rather pull my hair out, which is what I might end up doing if I don't stop pulling my hair at the roots, thanks to stress.

“Do you know what sort of reward I'd get, if I took you back?”

“A special padded cell?” I think I have found someone crazier than my mum, at least she didn't show any signs of being deluded into thinking I am Persephone from the stories. “Plus, you're on school grounds.” I pointed out trying to seem calm, hoping he didn’t need to be told that is a rule he is currently breaking.

His smug look turned into one of anger. I tried running towards the school he grabbed me by the arm pulling me in the opposite direction, muttering something about, Hades.

“Who the hell are you?” I yelled trying to kick him, missing every time. “I am not who you think I am!” There must be other females out there whose actual name is Persephone.

“You need to come with me!” He commanded. If he thought I’m going to go with him by saying that, he is 100% wrong. I tried pulling myself away; forcing him to move slightly forward in the direction I’m going, causing him to tighten his grip. Making my arm he’s holding hurt more.

“I'm not going with anyone!” I shrieked. Where is everyone when you need them?

“Fine.” He said stopping suddenly. No part of me took that, as he is about to give up.

Of course, he didn't.

He seized me and threw me on his shoulder. Then I began screaming blue murder, while kicking and watching the school grow further away as he walked across the field outside of the fence. My whole body warned me to get away as soon as possible and I believe my stomach is threatening to throw up.

“If you don't shut up and stop moving I'll make you.” He sneered. I coughed back a laugh. I’m the one at fault here?

“I'll make you put me down!” I snapped. I knew however, I'd probably never be able to do that. This has never happened to me before! I never expected to be kidnapped. I tried living a quiet life where I blended in, not causing too much attention, ignoring the slight hiccup that happened every so often. I have never learned how to get out of these situations!

Oh no. He'll kill me then throw my body in a ditch.

“Let me go!” I shrieked.

I’m on the edge of screaming, 'I don't want to die,' my emotions started to turn, slowly giving up as I felt the tears gather.

In our small town, there is a secluded area. Although, I’m not facing the direction we are going, I had a suspicion that we are heading to that area.

In the middle of this small private area is a large stone temple. As far as I knew, no one had been in it. There’s a town law that stated you needed special permission to even walk on the steps around the building. The town council were probably over cautious, thinking someone is going to vandalise the white stone, or the worn statues around the perimeter of the walls.

“Please, let me go.” I pleaded; hoping for the millionth time it would make difference. I knew we are in the private area. The old trees surrounding the temple proved it. My fear heightened once hearing the creak of the metal gate that kept people out. He had to kick the black iron door a few times, while twisting the golden door handle in the middle of it. A cloud of dust exited the dimly lit hall before he dragged me in.

“Stay still.” He threw me off his shoulder. My spine slammed against one of the inner stonewalls. I shrank back thinking how to get away. I booted him; he grabbed my wrists harsh enough I’m sure they would be bruise.

He tied my hands together, ignoring my struggles, with a loose bit of rough hanging rope that he got from one of the spikes sticking out from the wall. He walked through a wooden door into another room with a window dome, which to be honest needed to be cleaned, on the ceiling.

“I'm not who you think I am!” I cried collapsing further by the wall; I curled up in the entrance. I hid myself from the main hall.

He had locked the front door, unless I became the master of knocking down sturdy looking doors, I’m stuck.

I tried to quieten my breathing when talking in the next room started. I began panicking more inside.

He is going to kill me.

I’m going to be a sacrifice to whatever God he worshiped.

“My lord. I found her.” He muttered, over and over again, sometimes mentioning the name, 'Persephone,' Sometimes other incomprehensible things.

There’s no reply. I calmed a bit. He was busy preoccupying himself in a fictional belief. I leaped at the door.

“Get back here!” The man in the next room commanded, hearing me trying to open the door; the clunking of the gold door handle was obvious. He marched forward grabbing the sides of my shirt and dragging me back into the dusty room. I started to scream for help, when it he decided he'd be able to drag me back better if he held me by my waist and not my shirt. Panic and pain began to intensify the longer he touched me.

There’s a shiny marble alter in the middle of the room. Once there, he used the chains, which I guessed were used for actual sacrifices, and linked them to the rope that is rubbing my wrists. I couldn't see what he is doing due to being on the wrong side of the table.

His mutterings commenced again. This time they didn't last for long.

“You had better have a good reason for this!” Another voice sneered.

I kept quiet.

If I gave myself up the more likely these people would kill me. They had to be insane; the one who had just talked must live here.

“I-I,” He stuttered, almost sounding as if he’s in shock. “She-.” It is if he can't get out more than one word.

I wanted to go home. Forget the exam I have. Chances are it would be starting any minute. I wanted the new English accented man to give up go away and then I might be able to get out of here.

“Over there.” The kidnapper squeaked. I would probably have had the same reaction, if it weren’t caught in my throat, after hearing footsteps begin walking this way. I wished for once in my life the unrealistic thing would happen, and I would become invisible.

I shrank back again, shuffling, far away from the sound of footsteps.

The man who the footsteps belonged to suddenly appeared.

I could see him... And he could see me. A smile grew on his pale face.

I feel like I’m caught in headlights.

Another first, I am speechless in a man’s presence and not running away. There’s something about him that made my eyes lock onto him and even approach him, which for me, it’s the weirdest feeling ever.

“You are an idiot.” He abruptly said turning back to the kidnapper. His dark hair, which reached his shoulders, shifted with the air at his quick movement before walking away.

“What?” He shrieked in a reply. The kidnapper seemed to be the one about to have the panic attack. My respiratory system is still frozen from shock of the, Dark and Mysterious man’s stare.

“As much as I wanted to know she existed, there were rules put in place!”

I climbed up, still shaking from fear but my want to get out of here is slowly eating away at my sanity and me. I'm putting me wanting to get cosy and getting to know, Dark and Mysterious guy over there down to I'm becoming insane.

“Can I go home please?” I breathed.

“No.” Dark and Mysterious said, without even thinking.

“I really need to go.” I trembled. I’m not a people person or a person who went well with stress.

“Idiot.” He muttered shaking his head, making his way back to me.

My back is against the pillar next to the altar I’m stood next to.

“Are you going to kill me?” I worried. He then looked at me like he’s shocked that I would think of that.

“No. No. I'd never...”

“Then let me go. I won't say anything.” I don't know if anyone would believe me that there is a Greek cult here.

“I'm not letting you go.” He answered angry with me.

#creative writing #writers #writing #mythology #greek mythology #greek gods #greek goddess #posiedon #Hades #hades and persephone #persephone #demeter #underworld #romance #fantasy #zeus #Japanese mythology #yuuki onna #mortal

[hollywayblog]

People | Top Film Photos 2017

See: Places | Things

Film photography kept me going this year. It kept me curious and humble, and my hunger for a gorgeous shot led me to a lot of places I would never have seen otherwise.

I’m a writer first, but my words are something I have complete control over. As a perfectionist, this can drive me pretty mental at times; I could spend an eternity combing through a story or blog post changing this or that word and never feel done. While my perfectionist tendencies come out at the editing stage of film making (I don’t really edit my photos unless I have to alter exposure), there is an urgency about capturing a moment that will never come again, having limited film or space on your memory card. When you’re behind the lens, you are capturing something rather than manufacturing it. Even in a controlled shoot, you are still limited by time and tools. Writing can only be limited by your imagination, and while that’s freeing in some ways, it can be terrifying in others.

These visual mediums are creative outlets that allow me to follow my instincts without so much pressure to be perfect. I know I can’t control the weather or the set of someone’s teeth or whether they blink just as I’m pressing the shutter. It doesn’t mean I don’t strive to be better, and I would love to do some planned shoots next year, but I guess because I don’t define myself as a photographer or cinematographer it takes a lot of the pressure off to be revolutionary. I just do what feels right.

But enough about that.

I was going to choose ten photos overall, but that proved to be literally impossible. Instead I’ve chosen thirty overall, divided into three categories. The first is People.

One of my favourite things about taking up this hobby is the beautiful pictures I’ve snapped of my loved ones. I’ve always dreamed of taking photographs that captured the specific energy of a person or a moment, and when I look at these ones I feel like I’ve done that. These are photos I love of people I love.

1. Avalon. Gasometer Hotel, Collingwood, Victoria, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak ULTRAMAX 400.

This girl is a whirlwind in the best kind of way. Interested and interesting. Kind. Spontaneous. Ridiculously beautiful. She’s unlike anyone you’ve ever met; a girl who turns heads wherever she goes and knows it, who isn’t afraid to tell strange men that she’s the CEO of a radical feminist magazine and laughs at their feigned support (she doesn’t care what they think). That very magazine is how we met online; I became a regular contributor and she flattered me when we met in person by telling me that she’d told her workmates “If I fall off this ladder, the magazine goes to Holly Way!”

That night we went to a feminist zine launch that was definitely more of a gay 90s rave and I danced in a club for the first time in years. The photos I took were risky - the girls were dancing and the smoke was thick - but even the blurry ones have an energy to them that I love. Moving subjects will give you some duds, but so much more life in the good ones.

2. Connor. Inverloch, Victoria, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak ULTRAMAX 400.

Connor was so bloody stoked with this view, and I feel so warm when I look at this photo and his huge, genuine smile.

3. Stuart. Squeaky Beach, Wilsons Prom, Victoria, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak Portra 120.

If you want a glimpse of how much I - and the rest of my family - love Stuart you can watch this video I made for him for Christmas. Basically we had only met his British ass once before he moved into our house for twelve weeks. Luckily he turned out not to be a murderer but rather the most lovely, genuine, polite and cheerful dude you’ve ever met. It was devastating when he left - almost a month ago now - but the group chat is still going strong. More importantly, we’ll always have the memories of him reading us A Street Cat Named Bob on Squeaky Beach as the sun went down.

4. Rhiannon. Inverloch, Victoria, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak ULTRAMAX 400.

With the year we’ve had, it’s an indescribable pleasure to see my sister smiling and happy. On this particular day five of us drove to the coast, ate watermelon and baguettes on the beach and just escaped the rising tide at the end of a dusty pink dusk. On the way home we put on my ultimate sing alongs playlist and screeched Tribute and Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs. What could possibly be better?

5. Rhiannon and Brendan. Blue Rock Dam, Victoria, Australia. Pentax Espio 955, Fuji Superia X-TRA 400.

Another example of moving subjects. An imperfect shot with tangible mood.

6. Stuart. Blue Rock Dam, Victoria, Australia. Pentax Espio 955, Fuji Superia X-TRA 400.

The hour or two we had to ourselves at this outlandishly gorgeous dam are some of my favourite hours of all time. Stuart had a swim and gave us all heart attacks when he brushed up against a branch (thanks bitch) but other than that we were just so... relaxed. Climbing trees, eating, baking in the Aussie heat, telling dumb jokes and having Stuart read to us again. Then a bunch of bogans showed up with their dogs off the lead and disrupted the serenity, but whatever.

7. Beren. Cataract Gorge, Launceston, Tasmania, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak Portra 400.

This photo is from the first colour roll of film I ever shot. We surprised our family by showing up unexpectedly to celebrate Dad’s 50th and stayed for a few days. It was bittersweet as we had just lost our cat, Evie. It was a hard time, but spending those few days with our dad and siblings we rarely get to see made a difference, as did spending time in Tasmania, which has become a beautiful second home to me. I like the composition and natural feel of this photo, and just the fact that it’s one of my favourite people in one of my favourite places.

8. James. Red Wood Forest, Victoria, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak Portra 120.

I have a feeling this was either on or just after Easter, but I really can’t remember. Either way this place was absolutely magical. Even though this photo is blurry (the ISO of this film was not a good fit for a forest on a cloudy day) I just think it’s cool. I love getting action shots of people focusing on something, just natural and in their element. Watching James experiment with the camera has always been one of my favourite things to do. Also, he looks so fucking grown up in this picture.

9. Nienna. Tamar Wetlands, Launceston, Tasmania, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak Portra 120.

Definitely one of my favourite memories from this year; getting up before dawn to catch the sunrise at the wetlands with Dad and Nienna. It’s the kind of thing I’d do way more often if I had a car, as there’s something so beautiful about being at mercy to the cycles of the sun to get your photo. And we weren’t that lucky. It was overcast as hell and we got maybe a few minutes of a few slices of pink sunlight through the clouds. But that didn’t matter. We got photos that felt different than we expected and had a wonderful adventure in the meantime. To be separated from my sister so greatly in both years and distance but still manage to have such a strong bond and so much in common is something I am so, so grateful for.

10. Georgia. Home, Victoria, Australia. Minolta Dynax 500si. Kodak Portra 120.

This photograph makes me feel so many things. I grabbed it while Georgia was reading out a bit of her novel to Rhiannon and I, and it was just a moment that was so close and pure and poignant that I couldn’t help but try and capture it. That connection is what I treasure most about my relationship with Georgia. Ever since we were kids I feel like our bond has been free of judgement and pretense. She’s one of the few people I feel I can be all of my selves with instead of just choosing one suitable side to present. We don’t see each other nearly as much as we should, which makes moments like these all the more special.

What next? Check out the other posts in this series:

Places

Things

And moments | twentyseventeen - a video of moments from this year

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