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#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol
opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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h00f · 2 years
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woah, hi! it’s been a while!
i’ve just finished another year of college, and i think i want to try taking my blog back and using it for my own enjoyment! i’m going to start posting more art i’ve been making, but also reblogging things! and sharing thoughts! ive really, really missed being able to do that, so i’m starting it again now! no more fear :)
i just posted a piece from my last semester, and i will probably put up some more later tonight and tomorrow! hopefully even reblogging things here again!!
i hope you’re all doing well, and ily!
#if i havent replied to you i am still deeply sorry. i have a very hard time talking to people these days; especially digitally#reminds me of bad times. so i will just be posting for now until i can do that again! i hope you can forgive me#today i had to take one of my cats to the emergency vet. i might lose my house soon but i’m happy to be making art again. it will be ok!#anyways hi! this is soup! i’m one of jayson’s alters!#back in 2020 i had a really really bad time. and my brain fractured more than it was before#and now i’m a lot of people! but we work together and my life is fairly happy these days!#i want to learn robotics and how to 3D model; im interested in metal casting and prop making too!#i draw lots but never finish anything. sketchbook pics will have to do for now#im not really writing this to anybody; it’s just been really hard and i miss the comfort of speaking my mind. and this is my blog!!#so i will be apologetic no longer!! i’m going to shitpost and reblog funny memes and post art i’m proud of#and i hope you all will join me for this new era!#and a new text post tag too because i’m tired of thinking nobody cares! bc they do 💛#souptxt#oh and if ur curious.. theres about 15 of us? youll probably see the variety. my ocs came to life and live in my head STORYTIME GONE WRONG!!#LAST THING: IM A SCULPTURE MAJOR NOW………#so i make statues but ALSO ive been making stuffies! and prop masks! well just the one ok but still#also? i work as a baker and it’s actually… really nice. it’s good to like the labor i put in!#i will send u pretzels if u ask nice enough
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nadianova · 10 months
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hopeless junction (my wrists)
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my hands are hurting again and i cant hyperfixate on this game so its DEAD AND CANCELLED AND well not really but my plan to get this all completed before 16th for vncup are pretty much looking impossible now lmao.
as you may haev noticed i have not been working on trans goetia because i wanted to draw my attention towards something new and exciting and------
this has been it. its really a huge shame that i am the most motivated and most inspired artistically when i get to obsess over a project and just hammer it for day to night and repeat it next day but my hands will explode if i try to do that.
ive been putting like five hours each day into this all week and yesterday i just had to stop becaue my wrists just couldnt hit hte right keys lolll
i compiled all the screenshots ive posted here into one post for your viewing experience. theres a ton of more drawing in this game which no doubt is the reason why my hands are so exhausted now but i just really love drawing and having had the excuse to do so has made my brain feel good
i realize ive not really said anything about this game. its about these three girls who are on a week long special luxury trans continental train journey . ive always been fond of stories that take place in a locked situation, so no doubt il lhave more of those in the future.
but yes, things get weird, friends talking about sex, friends wanting to do sex, cute girls popping accidental boners, friends having a bit of a fight about sex. and i mean one girl ready to torch her life just to create as much chaos as possible. its the nice kind of stuff really
the progress in this game is pretty huge all things considered. in just a week i have a 20k word script and ive written all the events of the first 5 days and i only have hte climax of the story left to write now where things get violent and messy.
it truly is a miracle how much a person can get done with motivation in such a short time. feels liek in just a week ive gotten this game further than trans goetia. it is not a fair comparison since i am omitting all the blender time but still.
well, thats that ima go roll a d20 to decide if my hands will endure more gaymaking today or if im gonna keep resting
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robinismywifee · 8 months
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Back to the Old House - Chapter 5:
August 30th, 2034
[7 days after previous chapter]
Raines age: 16 years, 6 months
Ellies age: 15 years, 3 months
CW: none
Words: 1381
Masterlist
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Raines POV:
I've been going on patrol with Jesse for a week now. He still started awkward conversations and tried to get to know me, but since I would either just not reply or give an answer without actually answering, he would resort to just telling me his answer in detail. Although I didn't care, I did listen because it felt rude not to. He hasn't done anything wrong and is a nice guy, however, I wish he didn't try so much.
Me and Jesse were on our way back to Jackson, on our horses, we finally ran into infected today so it wasn't entirely boring, even if it was only 2 runners.
"So, school starts up again next monday, you're gonna go, right?" Jesse randomly asked.
I looked at him confused, "School?"
He looked back at me, confused of why I was confused. "Yeah?"
"Oh. Didn't know there was a school system for older kids here."
"Well, I went last year and it was fun. We learn a
bunch of different things! Like, grammer, poetry, history, all different kinds of science, some math.." Jesse listed on his fingers, "Oh! And you can take an extra class for art, or at least last year they had it. And then they have all the other boring stuff, like health.. survival.. combat.."
I liked the idea of learning more poetry and history. My ears perked up when he mentioned an art class, awhile back when I was super young, before i lived at the QZ, I would paint all the time. Anything I saw in nature I painted. I sketch from time to time, but I miss painting alot. Maybe they have the supplies for that?
"Art class?" I simply asked.
"Yeah! My friend E- uhh.. my friend took the class, she really enjoyed it actually. Do you draw?"
I shrug, "Well, i'm sure you're great! And you can improve by going to school! You should sign up for it, or I guess since you live with Maria you could just ask her."
"What do the teach in the art class?"
"Well, I didn't take it, thats not really my thing, but, from what i've heard, they teach the history of art, different techniques for drawing and painting, i'm pretty sure theres even a lesson on clay sculptures and you get to make stuff out of it. Pretty cool, I wish I was artsy."
I sat on my horse in silence as Jesse continued talking about his favorite classes, thinking about the idea of school. Real school. Not stupid QZ school.
The idea of learning more about most of those stuff sounded fascinating to me but the idea of having to be social and just around people was the mood killer.
Shortly after, we arrived at the gates of Jackson. We got to the stables as always, and as I began to walk away to go back to Marias, Jesse stopped me.
"Hey, I know social settings or gatherings arent really your thing, but I really think you should give it a shot. If you don't like it, then you can quit. But I think if you don't try then you'll regret it. So, if you do decide to show, find my face and there will be an open seat next to it!"
I nodded, "Thanks, Jesse. I'll think about it"
୨♡୧
The next day
"So, didya sign up yet?"
I glanced at him from behind me, hes still going on about the school thing?
"For school classes"
"Yeah, I got that" I mumbled, turning back and continuing walking.
We had just gotten off of morning patrol and I was walking back to the house when he followed behind me.
"I'm guessing you haven't"
I shook my head no, he walked infront of me as we both stopped walking, "how bout' I take you to the sign up sheets and we do it right now?"
"Uhh, Jesse, I don't really think I wanna do-"
"How about I stop annoying you on patrol and shut up whenever you want, if you sign up for them and go? Just the first day"
I stood and thought about it. I would much rather hear the chirping birds then Jesse chirping about how his girlfriend broke up with him.
"okay."
"okay? i- is that all?"
"What else is there to say? now, take me there"
Jesse cheered silently and started leading me the opposite way. He took me to a familiar building. This was the building I woke up in from my coma.
"Jesse?"
"Hm?"
"I thought this was the towns hospital?"
"Oh, yeah, top floor is. This is a pretty big building and its like the main one, so theres alot of different stuff in it." he explained
as we entered, I saw a sign in the lobby that labeled what each floor was.
Jesse took me to the front desk, the guy in the chair seemed to be focused on something else as Jesse grabbed a paper that was layed out, and a pen from a cup.
We sat down on nearby chairs, Jesse placed the paper and pen down on the table infront of us, "Pretty simple, just fill it out and mark it off, kinda self explanatory"
I nodded, and filled out my name, age, guardians, marked off all the boxes of what classes I wanted to be in, and stated the job I had and what time I worked.
"now what?" I asked, looking at him, Jesse answered by getting up, a dick eating grin plastered on his face, and handed the focused guy at the front desk the paper.
"Lets go! Oh, you're gonna love it, I can't wait for you to show me your artwork-"
"Okay, you're annoying me, shut it," I couldn't help but smile at him as we walked out the building, "and who said that i'm gonna show you my artwork?" I snarked
"Uh, me? I did? And the shutting-up-whenever-you-want-deal isn't on until you go to school on Monday, plus I said only when we're on patrol"
"So I just did that for basically nothing since Monday isn't for 4 days and it only applies to patrol?"
Jesse laughed, "You would have missed out on a big opportunity i'm doing you a huge favor-"
"Hey Jesse" a snarkling voice interrupted, my soft smile immediately dropped once I saw the short black haired girl. The same girl who was holding hands with Ellie that night, the same girl who rode the bicycle with Ellie, I suddenly felt like throwing up.
"Oh, hey Cat" Jesse said with a soft smile, I looked to the ground, shifting on my feet, my cheeks were growing red from embarrassment She heard me call Ellie a dyke..
"Ah- this is Raine! Shes my patrol partner" Jesse said after an awkward moment of silence, a hint of excitement behind his voice. Probably excited to finally introduce me with his friend. God why is he friends with this girl? and what kind of name is cat.
"We've met." Cat says coldly, my eyes stay to the ground, I bite my tongue so hard I start to taste blood.
"Oh? I didn't know Raine met anyone other then me and Dina.."
"Well, I guess we hadn't officially met, but it was enough. Anyways, we were all gonna watch a movie tonight at my place, wanna come?"
I could feel Jesse glance to look at me, and back at Cat. "Uh, yeah Cat, thats.. good, what time?"
"Be there at 7, it's gonna be so fun, I bet you could get Dina back by tomorrow"
I couldn't take it anymore, her voice was stinging.
I sped walked away with my head down, I could hear muffled behind my ringing ears Jesse calling my name, but I ignored it.
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flockofdoves · 2 years
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today went a lot better than yesterday for the most part! it became an absolute disaster right at the end though with trying to get them to change back into their clothes in the locker rooms after swimming (yesterday had just used the bathrooms near our home room and that went fine but the combo of them thinking the locker rooms were cool and so many forgetting part of their dry clothing downstairs and the gendered lockerrooms being on opposite sides of the hallway made it so much. but the directors told us to use them now so. well see lol)
i think a lot of it going well did not have all that much to do with solving some of the biggest issues we had the first day (although i def found some small things that helped) though because i think they were just really excited we went outside to play with water balloons and then after lunch went outside to go to the playground and it was a nice day
still could notice the issue of kids saying every group game sounds boring without knowing anything about it and then just sitting off in the corner of the room and then theres not enough kids to play the original game and when we try to switch to one that works the kids just got excited about the first one and so then they might go off on their own too so then its just free play which is fine for a while but then kids get bored that theres nothing to do but dont want to do anything we try to start to fix that. but just didnt have quite as much of that because we went outside (which even the process of just leaving and coming back eats up so much time instead of constant new games lol)
so of course i want to try to go outside at least for one game each day when weather permits (and maybe theyll be more excited to have more outdoor time and also less likely to have locker room issues and also ill have to come up with less to do when the local outdoor pool they usually use twice a day is fixed so we arent using the middle schools pool were based in thats only available in the afternoon) but also who knows if theyll eventually get kinda tired of the novelty of going outside (although i think it at least somewhat helps bc in organized outdoor activities theyre more likely to try them bc they cant just walk to the corner of the room to color instead so they actually try the games and realize they enjoy them) so i also want to make sure to go to other rooms in the middle school we can use to mix things up more and limit diffusion of group activities. but also i think even in those contexts i want to better find a balance between picking the right battles. bc of course like if a couple kids really arent feeling it and are quietly coloring then thats harmless. but a lot of times not participating in group activities means doing a whole bunch of stuff everywhere and making it really hard for counselors to make sure all kids are safe and in the room (but also like even then its probably harmless to the kid but hard on us which is kinda hard to explain to them). so idk maybe ill have a guideline to at least try out activities before deciding whether or not you want to do them (i really respect their likes and dislikes and would emphasize constructive criticism about activities they try out but i do think this is a big part of it considering stuff like how yesterday a girl told her friend during free play that she wouldnt play uno with her because she hates it and then like 10 minutes later to someone else asking something about uno she said shes never played it before and doesnt know anything about what its like or how to play it) or a guideline that during certain times esp when theres less counselors, you either join the group game or draw/write/color quietly at the table right near by but no other active games or wandering. it makes me feel so strict though :(
i also do think maybe i just need to become a more theatrical person so i can get better at selling activities though lol. they got a bit more excited about activities i literally tried to start with them just by one of the directors projecting his voice more and acting a bit more goofy
it really makes me realize the difference in skills with this stuff. i think i do great when theres a decent amount of counselors during free play and i start engaging with kids in small groups playing. the kid i babysat from age 2-8 loved me and always told her parents how much fun she had. but that was play guided by her where i would listen to her and do whatever she wanted as long as it was safe while also proposing new options without forcing them. having like 2 adults to a group of 15 seven year olds makes it really hard toapproach things that way. part of that might be that kids are only just beginning to learn how to be considerate of others in certain ways, part of that might be i need to learn better ways of listening to all of the kids and incorporating that into what we do in a way that largely works out, but i also think part of that is just like maybe were kinda understaffed and also id be curious to learn more about the pedagogy of all this stuff. i think theres so much value in kids being in larger groups interacting with each other but the weird types of control that come with having relatively few adults guiding that both for safety in general but also maybe a lot of just like. liability when we are strangers to these childrens parents providing childcare for a job under capitalism is like. really weird to confront. i feel like a cop but i literally dont know a better way of navigating that aspect of everything within these parameters. curious to see what it could look like in a better world
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ultraphobic · 5 months
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Hi Lane! 🎅🏻🔮
I hope the family event went well! How did your week start?
AWWW 😍your cat so cutee
This series is called Never Tear Us Apart: The Untold Story of INXS and it has a good rating on IMDb, I think. By the way, what are your favorite INXS songs or albums?
OMG!! Slaughter headliner of the festival how cool! I am very happy for you!
Helix looks very cool! I hope to get a piercing before Christmas or after and a nose piercing is one of the most interesting in my opinion because you can do anything with it like you said!
Thanks for the spotify link! I just hope that one day they will release all the albums on streaming because people don't have the opportunity to get acquainted with Warrant, especially with the Jani era, literally the most popular and famous albums and nothing else lol.
Aww about the drawings sounds very cute and shiny haha. I love this kind of thing! Your story about the T-shirt made my day better, thank you!
I hope your surgery goes well! Wow portrait tattoo?? great! Would you like to be a tattoo artist?
someday I won't make mistakes remembering different time zones and climate differences, but not today lmaoo :(I'm sorry! OMG your summer is really hot, it's terrible. I'm feel sorry for you. I am from Russia and Estonia (it sounds really strange lol, just one part of my family is half from Estonia and half from Russia) and now in some parts of Russia the opposite is -38 lol. In the part where I live, the coldest day was -18
What a cool choice of musicians! I think Jani was very interesting because he's one of the most incredible musicians I know. And Patrick is cool too!
Whoa! You are a real multi-instrumentalist! I play the bass too! (and on some other instruments, but very bad lol) I think that you will definitely be able to sing! It's quite interesting and as my guitar teacher says, it's not that difficult, the main thing is to overcome your fear (if there is one)
Wow! Your Christmas celebration sounds very cozy and homey. this is very nice! About look at lights, this is my favorite part of Christmas! people always make such interesting decorations and it makes it more festive.
🎄 Do you like to give or receive gifts more?
🎄 Which gift was the most memorable for you?
🎄 Do you prefer to make a wish list or are you waiting for any gift?
🎄 Would you like to play in any band? and what style of music would you prefer?
hey santa!!!
my week has started off well! i went into the new location for my store & went to start setting up and today i'm just resting. tomorrow i'm training on last minute sign offs on piercings and then thursday is opening day! we're all booked out for opening day so i have to be ready to be fast and in and out with piercings.
i'll definitely check out the series!!! kick is my favourite inxs album & my fave songs are just keep walking, never tear us apart, don't change (this one is special to me), suicide blonde, dancing on the jetty, disappear, need you tonight & original sin. inxs was one of the bands i grew up listening to along with a bunch of other older bands from aus & aotearoa and i think that influence is still there so whenever i don't feel like listening to glam but i still wanna listen to something older i go back to a childhood playlist (i think on my spotify theres a public playlist called best of australia & aotearoa which showcases some old and new stuff!)
i know im so excited!!! i was nervous when they kept delaying the lineup announcements but it looks killer so i can't wait! tickets go on sale while i'm working all day tho so i hope i can grab one while i'm on break or something. if i miss out on presale vip maybe i can grab one when they go out to the public tho! if i miss out on vip i'll just get a ga ticket.
i am sort of nervous about the venue they chose though as i have been there before, and while they are fine during actual shows the moment a concert is over they do tend to kick everyone out quite rudely (much like last weeks festival!) and tell people they can't even hang around outside because of "trespassing". this would be fine if they were'nt LITERALLY ON A MAIN STREET OF THE CITY IN SYDNEY. like they're literally next door to a mcdonald's. it's quite odd. at least they give out free water after shows.
i hope you can get piercings soon too! i think it's best to get piercings in winter as well because you don't have to worry about the not swimming part of healing.
i do hope they release the other albums on streaming at least soon! it seems that they're only available in the us and possibly canada from what i've gathered from my online friends. i'm missing the live albums, a few compilation albums, and of course belly to belly and ultraphobic. i only bothered getting ultraphobic and belly to belly as local files (and the dog eat dog bonus track) though because spotify has issues with their local files a lot and i didn't want to keep redownloading like 5 albums over and over again.
i'm glad i made your day better haha! i made a bunch of really silly shirts for my family and currently i'm working on a bunch of glam metal related ones for a glam discord server i'm in because i told them if i got the job i did and away from my old job (my old job suuucked they underpaid me and broke a bunch of labour laws and stuff. i'm gonna sort that out soon and get what i'm owed dw) then i'd make a few shirts for them.
i'm hoping i can save up for the surgery within the next year! it's a trans surgery so it's not anything majorly urgent or anything that has to happen or i'll die if i don't get it in the next month or anything but i really would like to get it asap lol. and yea! the portrait tattoo is going to be of jani which SOUNDS like i'm obsessed which i promise i'm not in a weird way it's just that he (and warrant) have become so important to me in just the last 9 months. and usually i would never get someones face tattooed on me because it's so rare for an artist to get it right but i did manage to find an artist that does it really well! (@chloemoontattoo on instagram)
i would love to be a tattoo artist! i haven't really found my art style yet so it's still a distant dream for me but as i'm already in the body modification industry i:
a) already have one of the qualifications (infection control certificate)
b) have something that looks good on a resume!
so it's possible! and i do have a backup plan of photography or continuing piercing (or both!) so i won't be stuck if i can't do it
woah you had -18? the part of aus where i live i don't think it's ever gotten that cold! at least not while i've been alive. i think maybe it's gotten to 4 or 5 but never in the negatives as far as i know
yeah i have an attachment to jani and i know theres probably someone who thinks it's weird but i do genuinely think we'd think similarly and relate on things! i think we'd be able to talk for hours
i have a little fear of singing in front of people but it has gotten better over the years! i used to not be able to get up and do anything in front of people but now since transitioning and also going to therapy for a while i have gotten a bit better! i think i could front a glam band if i stopped caring what people thought while i was onstage and also if i could FIND PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO START A BAND HERE. theres like 3 people my age into glam metal which kinda sucks.
questions!
i like giving and receiving equally i think? i don't like receiving gifts unless i have also given one (unless it's my birthday lol) but i love picking out stuff for people! gift giving is my love language
i got a new bass a few years ago! and a guitar the next year! that makes it sound like my family is rich but we're not those were my only gifts and because my bday is so close to christmas they were combined as bday/xmas gifts! (i also know what i'm getting for my bday next year. cus it;s my 21st i get something big)
i make a wishlist but only because nobody ever knows what i actually want! my mum asks me to make a list otherwise i just get clothes i won't wear and new underwear so this year i put a few bands for cds, a cd player, and a new room fan cus mine doesn't rly work. i think i'm also getting a new cd tower though cus i ran out of room on my little cd shelf i took from my parents when they moved their cds into a cupboard, the shelf only stores 75 and i think i have like 100 cds now (over 8+ years of collecting!) i am about to do a whole room redo so i am trying to ask for stuff that will be helpful to rearrange my room/redecorate, but i know i will have to buy most new furniture myself. the only stuff i'm not replacing is my desk, bed, and wardrobe (which is built into my room), (and my shelf/ stuff already mounted on the wall)
i would LOVE to be in a band, hopefully a glam metal band, but unfortunately like i said before, there's like no one my age into that genre in my area which sucks :(. i'd be happy to play any instrument in that hypothetical band, except drums bc i can only really play a basic 4/4 beat on drums so i wouldn't be very good at that.
thank you for your message santa!!! sorry for rambling so much i got carried away
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lemonsknees · 10 months
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so i grew up in a household with a lot of questionable stuff. And sometime i wondered why none of the adults in my life ever did anything about it. I'm a teacher now and i made a decision to make a report today, and i kinda wanted to talk about it, for myself but also for anybody else who ever wondered for themselves. So uh, yeah.
Firstly i didn't know what i was doing, i still really dont, I'm an after school teacher for community education and camps and stuff, not a mandatory reporter, no hipa forms or experience with em, but all the same Ill keep this anonymous. This account isn't really connected with people who know me irl anyways
This was the first day I'd ever met this kid. And i could tell right away something was wrong. At first i thought it was just some regular misbehavior, testing limits and exploring cultural taboos. Its a drawing class and the kids drawing chainsaws, i see no issue, plenty of kids wanna draw weapons they see in video games and tv. He's loud and unkind to the other kids, i try to move passed it. Maybe he's having a hard time or having some social development delays. One of the assistants to the camp directors came to check in and my trouble maker started growling and circling him. Not great. But kids are kids. I'm just trying to facilitate everyone having a good time. He hits some of the other kids and i get after him. My best "teacher" voice. Some royal We statements, the sorts of things you learn to do when kids are misbehaving. He's just unresponsive to it. And honestly it's all still pretty normal. But then he starts talking about things that happen at home. Things that are abuse. Things that make your stomach drop.
In my own life and childhood my family drilled in my head the script for child protective services. The horror stories about abusive foster families. My area was low income and so they were always poking around, every now and again someone would get scooped up and out of town. People would make fake reports on their neighbors kids for revenge on other feuds and petty arguments. I was terrified of CPS. They were the boogieman. They were kidnappers.
But now I'm an adult.
The woman on the phone was nice. I didn't know what to do, the camp director helped me fill out the report and communicate with the service woman. Getting the information they needed.
I told her everything the child had said. Including physical abuse and neglect. As well as the additional signs of abuse surrounding it.
And what i learned: They need every piece of information that you can give.
And they need proof. Or at least reason to believe they'll be able to get it
They need a cooperative child. Willing to repeat themselves in a more serious context then simple classroom bravado.
I spent my adult life wondering why none of the adults in my life ever "did anything" chances are they might of tried,,
But the signs of abuse, the suspicion that "somethings not right here" and the words of a child aren't enough for that family to get a knock on their door and a look around. Apparently.
At least that's how it seemed from what i was told. I still have the rest of this week, theres a chance they'll call me back, but more likely they'll send a letter to my job.
My boss called me to check in and asked if i was ok. Told me i did right what i was supposed to. And i told him i was okay. But I'm shaken up. Idk if i just stuck my nose in the wrong spot and someone might be worse off for it. Or if i just did the best i could with less then i needed and i won't get anything done for it.
The kid might never know anyone tried for him. He probably wouldn't want me to try. I wouldn't of at that age. But now i wish someone had. So I'm spinning and it's not about me. I just have to do my best to do whats right and hope it does right
0 notes
ravenluvsppnbc · 3 years
Note
Tattoo parlor au
thanks for the request! i hope this is suffice. <3
Chloe woke up on Tuesday, nerves filling her body. The sun had just risen. The birds were chirping and flying around in circles through the sky. Chloe’s alarm had woken her at eight. She took a cold shower, wishing not to waste the hot water, and was drinking a warm latte just ten minutes after. She watched the morning news, mumbling curses at the political pieces. By the time she was dressed, the news was playing a puppy segment. She smiled, switching off the television when it was done. She left the apartment by ten.
The redhead walked down the street to meet her two best friends. Aubrey and Amy were standing on the block corner, waving obnoxiously. Today was the day Chloe had been waiting for with nerve. It was also the day Aubrey had been dreading. Amy was very excited. They would be getting tattoos. Matching tattoos. The three girls had become a “groupe de trois” in college when they joined an a cappella group. Chloe and Aubrey were already years into college when freshman Amy met them.
They decided to get matching tattoos weeks ago. Today was finally the day. Aubrey leads the others to her car, which she had parked in a carpark an hour prior. The girls laughed, driving to the only tattoo parlor that Aubrey had approved. Aubrey could be a bit picky, but it balanced out Chloe’s open mindedness and Amy’s boldness. The three pulled into the lot at 11:50, which Chloe thought was perfect. Aubrey thought that they were late. Their appointment was at noon.
Chloe’s boot clomped against the ground as they entered the shop. Aubrey was taken aback by the soft rock that filled her ears as the door shut behind them. A little man with long hair peeked his head over the desk. He had a sleeve of skulls, and a nose ring. Amy walked closer to the desk and said, “Hi, we’re here for some tats.”
“Did you have an appointment already?” Little man asks.
“Yeah. We’re supposed to be scheduled for noon.” Aubrey chimes in, stepping closer to the desk.
“Alright perfect. Uh Beca is just finishing up with somebody at the moment and then Jackson is just hanging out in the back. We’ll get going in a minute.” The man said, standing up and walking back.
A guy, who Chloe assumes is Jackson, walks to the front desk and takes Aubrey to the back. Chloe and Amy stand at the front, listening to the music. A brown-haired woman in a leather jacket and doc martens walks out of a curtain with front desk man and another guy in a black tank top. Chloe can’t stop staring at this woman, who she assumes just got a tattoo. Only now, Chloe realizes, the woman jumps behind the front desk and looks at the computer. Amy walks to the back with the small man, waving.
“You’re also getting one?” The woman asks, making eye contact with Chloe.
“Yeah.” Chloe mumbles bashfully, as the other woman scans her body.
“Alright, I’m Beca” The woman says, grabbing Chloe’s hand, “Come on then.”
Beca leads Chloe to the back of the tattoo shop where theres a black curtain hanging from the ceiling. She helps Chloe into the chair. Chloe scans the space. Beca has band posters on the walls, a record player in the corner. “OO Oasis,” Chloe says, pointing to the wall, “I love them.”
“Yeah,” Beca says, sitting down on a chair, getting out a tattoo gun and ink. She spins her chair towards Chloe with a smirk. “So are you gonna tell me what your name is?”
“Oh, sorry. Just nervous that’s all. Uh. I’m Chloe.”
Beca smiles. “Don’t be too nervous,” she says, turning around to prepare the equipment, “You’re really pretty, whatever you get is gonna look dope.” Chloe smiles, blushing.
After a moment of silence, Beca speaks up again, brushing the previous comment off of her shoulder. “So what were we thinking of getting?”
“Oh I’m thinking something simple. I want it to say, ‘Bella’ and then I want to put a burrito next to it.” Chloe says.
“Well I do hope that you and Bella stay together for awhile. This one might be a little hard to explain.” Beca says, letting out a chuckle.
“Oh it’s not a relationship tattoo-”
“Oh I’m sorry. I totally just-”
“No it’s cool. It makes sense that you’d think that,” Chloe says, giggling. “My friends and I met in college. We were in an a cappella group called ‘The Bellas’ and then a guy threw a big ass burrito on one of them. So. That’s what that is.”
“So,” Beca says, sitting back down, “No burrito-obsessed girlfriend named Bella?”
“Nah.”
After a few more minutes of silence, Beca turns to Chloe to show her some sample stencils. Chloe really likes all of them, even though it is very hard to take a burrito seriously. Chloe points to the one on the left, and Beca tosses the other one onto the table. “So where do you want this thing?”
“Well I don’t really know. I was thinking maybe my shoulder. I don’t know where they’re getting theirs.”
“Shoulder sounds good. I can put a stencil there so you can see what it looks like.” Beca says, printing a second stencil. “Which arm?”
Chloe points to her left. “Do you want me to move my shirt?” She says, nervously fumbling with the hem of her sweater.
“Only if you’re comfy with it, but I don’t know how great I can do it through this. It is recommended.” Beca jokes, before Chloe pulls her top off entirely. Beca gasps, her eyes lingering on Chloe’s toned abs. Beca curses herself. She shouldn’t be flirting with a client.
Beca places the stencil onto Chloe’s left shoulder, and grabs the mirror to show her. “That looks great.”
“Alright, then we can get going. Do you want some tunes? I have a record player back here, you can pick something. But beware. It sounds super hipster coming outta that thing.” Beca says, pulling Chloe in the direction of the record player. Chloe picked Nirvana.
“Good choice.”
Chloe’s eyes follow Beca as the brunette went to the sink to wash her hands. She throws her leather jacket to the chair next to her, revealing a sleeve of patchwork. “Oo. Did you do those yourself? I love that.”
“Some of them,” Beca says, wheeling a cart over to the chair, “What’s your favorite?”
“I like this one,” Chloe says, pointing to a skull with Hozier lyrics next to it.
“Yeah I did that one. I like the skull, but the song isn’t as meaningful as it was when I did it.” She explains, chuckling. “Don’t do song lyrics.”
“Noted.” Chloe mumbles.
“Ready?” Beca says, hooking up the machine.
“Yeah.” Chloe says, exhaling.
Beca reaches for Chloe’s arm, and grabs the machine. Chloe scans over Beca’s sleeve, looking at each tattoo. After a few minutes, Chloe mumbles, “Shit.”
Beca immediately takes the needle away, and sits back in her chair. “Everything okay?” She asks quickly.
“Yeah, I was just thinking about something. Didn’t mean to spook you or anything. It’s all good.”
“Alright.” Beca says, moving back towards the redhead. She continues tattooing, looking up at Chloe each time she felt her tense up. At one point, the redhead moved Beca’s hair out of her face. Beca swears that she saw Chloe bite her lip. The brunette blushed and continued working on Chloe’s arm. Chloe knew what she was doing, and she liked it.
“Okay, I’ll get started on the burrito now. Just to be clear—you wanted a line drawing? Like not shaded in?” Beca asked, moving the needle away from Chloe’s arm.
“Yeah that sounds perfect.” Chloe said.
After a few more minutes of tattooing, Beca tilted her head to the side, running the needle along Chloe’s shoulder. Chloe caught a whiff of Beca’s perfume. She was intoxicated by it. The slight woodsy scent, but not campfire. The sweet scent made Chloe’s mind wander. “Oh my god. What perfume are you wearing? I literally. Like. I just want to keep smelling you. That sounds weird. What is it?” Chloe said, stuttering over almost all of her words.
“Well. Thanks. It’s ‘Sappho’ by Lush. All the girls love it.” Beca said with a wink.
“So that’s the goal?”
“Not always, but it’s appreciated.” Beca flirts, smiling, wiping a towel over Chloe’s shoulder.
“Do you flirt with all of your clients?”
“No. I’m really not supposed to. But you’re making it a little hard at the moment.” Beca says, blushing as she cleans up the cart.
“Oh. Sorry.” Chloe says, feeling a little ashamed.
“Don’t be sorry. I like it,” Beca flirts, writing on a few papers. “Here’s your guide to having a tattoo. Basically what you should and shouldn’t do. And something you should do—uh. My number. It’s in there. I don’t know what you’re into but I’d love to take you out.”
“I’ll definitely call you.” Chloe says, leaving the space.
She meets Amy and Aubrey back at the front, where they compare tattoos and pay. Chloe leaves a nice tip. She makes eye contact with Beca, who is now standing behind the desk, as she exits the shop. Beca sends her another wink.
When Chloe gets into the car, she opens up the paper to find Beca’s number written neatly with a signature next to it, and a heart. She adds Beca’s number to her phone, as they drive away.
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le0watch · 3 years
Text
(tws: implied mental illness and self harm)
today is the day.
the day langa has been dreading.
he looks out his front window, his chin propped on the palm of his hand. he's waiting, sitting on one of the chairs in his living room, leg bouncing impatiently.
he doesn't really want this addition to his household, but he'd rather get the thing and move on with his life. but no, they have to be running late.
he sighs heavily, and goes to picking at the skin around his fingernails. the familiar sting and drops of blood calms him a little, and he draws in a deep breath. it'll be fine. mom wants this, since she can't live with him right now. he needs this to stay stable, apparently.
he jumps when theres a knock on the front door. at some point, an automated taxi had pulled up in front of his house without him noticing. he takes a moment to wonder how he hadn't noticed it, before pushing to his feet to open the door.
a flash of red hair and amber eyes greets him, with skin a darker tan than langa's pale skin. the thing is grinning widely, hands tucked behind its back. it perks up when it sees him, and langa wants to rip his hair out. he'd known they'd purchased one a month ago, personalizing it to fit langa's needs and physical preferences, but to actually see it on his doorstep was like getting slapped in the face.
"hello!" the android exclaims, its led mood light circling a calm blue. "my name is reki- i'm the android sent by cyberlife!"
langa has to bite back a groan of annoyance. "hi," he replies. he has to play nice. this thing is motoring him and his moods. it's probably taking notes of his physical appearance and outfit option. which, his outfit for today isnt as bad as it usually is. it's a baggy white shirt and a pair of jeans. simple and comfortable.
"it is so nice to finally meet you!" the android continues, clasping its hands in front of itself with glee. "i was designed to fit your personal needs and preferences-" he already knew that- "but if you do not like how i look or act, you can always send me back for maintenance. the first change is free!"
"yay," langa replies coldly. but he steps back and gestures of the thing to step inside. it does, looking around his small home. "this is the living room, over there is the kitchen, and to the left down the hall is my bed and bathroom. id rather you not go in there."
"i'll have to, it's part of my programming," the thing says, with the audacity to sound apologetic. as if. androids can't feel anything. "my program dictates that you cannot be allowed alone for too long, because of your past actions."
langa lets out another heavy sigh, dragging his hand down his face. his mom probably added that to it. shes been so worried about him since he'd tried to commit not too long ago.
"right," langa responds. "so... what do you do?"
"im glad you ask!" the android says with too much cheer. it's starting to give langa a headache. "i was custom designed to act as your caregiver and to be the eyes of your loved ones. My functions are as follows: medication, time, self care, and eating reminders. i have basic medical knowledge, so if you injure yourself i can help heal it. i am also programmed to become a friend of yours if you so desire."
"uh huh," langa says, quickly losing interest in the situation. as if he'd ever be friends with an android, anyways.
"so, may i ask when you are supposed to take your prescribed medicines?" the android asks next, not missing a beat. "as well how long you are typically in the bathroom, so that i may check on you if you are in there longer than the given time."
"you don't need to know that," langa snaps, instinctively shifting on his feet. the fresh cuts on his thighs sting, but it's a good feeling. "but i can give you my meds so you know."
"okay! i'll time you next time you are in the bathroom, so i can get a feel of your usual time," the android says brightly. langa glares at it. it doesn't seem to notice. "i should inform you as well: i have a smelling receptor implemented, so if i smell blood on you, or find that you have seriously injured yourself, i will instantly contact medical help to come pick you up. afterwards, i will check you into a mental hospital to make sure you get the help you need if i am not enough."
langa's nose scrunches up with distaste. "asshole," he mutters. he thinks he says it quiet enough so that the thing can't hear him, yet he still catches the led on its temple cycling from blue to red, indicating distress. weird.
"y- i am sorry," it stutters. androids could stutter? huh, they must make them able to do almost anything. "for now, i will give you space. i will check up on you semi-frequently. please let me know if you need anything, and when you are going to bring me your perscribed medication." it pauses, staring off into the distance for a moment. its eyes have a strange look in them, the led cycling red for a few seconds longer before returning to blue. it smiles at him, but he gets the feeling its forced. "i am glad to be here with you. i will be entering rest mode, now."
with that, it shuts down, led cycling yellow, fake eyelids lowered over its fake eyes. it almost looks like an actual person had fallen asleep standing up.
too bad it's fake.
he sighs heavily for the third time the past hour and runs a hand down his face. his hands tingle with the need to grab his favorite knife, but he doesn't want it to smell his blood. he'll have to find times and places to do it, then.
he just isn't prepared for the events that are soon to follow after receiving this thing. if he had, he would have sent straight back to cyberlife.
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nahoyaglock · 3 years
Text
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📃 AS I AM CHAPTER 2 — Talk To Me
SUMMARY — You knew Kageyama Tobio since you both were in diapers, being close family 'friends'. You always wanted to befriend the quiet kid but no matter your efforts, he would never crack. When you transfer schools and meet Kageyama again, what will happen to your relationship?
PAIRING — family friend!kageyama x y/n
GENRE — fluff/crack/angst
WARNINGS — kags being a meanie
WORD COUNT — 1.7k
FIND THE MASTERLIST HERE
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You woke up the next day to your slightly annoying alarm, groaning as you stretched. You reached for your phone to snooze your alarm, yawning loudly as you opened your phone to see notifications. You checked your text messages first, seeing two unknown numbers that sent you a text.
(Sent September 23rd at 11:24 pm)
xxx-xxx-xxxx: [Hey y/n! This is Shoyo!]
[From the volleyball club!]
(Sent September 23rd at 11:28 pm)
xxx-xxx-xxxx: [Yo, this is noya!]
You smiled and responded to both of their texts before climbing out of bed, stretching your arms and legs. You grabbed your uniform to slip it on before remembering something. You haven't sent Kageyama a goodmorning text!
(Sent September 24th at 6:34 am)
Y/N: [good morning Tobio! Do you want to eat lunch together today?]
[Ill bring your favorite snacks!]
Kageyama: [can't, im busy today]
Y/N: [how about tomorrow?]
Kageyama: [busy.]
You sighed and brushed it off, thinking for a bit. You smiled, Tobio was so cool! He must be busy with something important, you thought as you dressed into your uniform. Your mom let you decide if you wanted to be driven again or walk, it was only a 15 minute walk. You knew sooner or later you'd be forced to walk so you decided to walk today.
It was chilly out of course, so you slipped on a scarf and slipped out the front door. You decided to stop at the convenience store on the way to the school, grabbing three meatbuns and purchasing them. When you continued on your walk, you noticed a familiar face.
"Hey Kageyama!" You called, causing the male to jump and look around until his eyes landed on you. His calm expression turned slightly sour, and you giggled, jogging over to him. "Good morning Tobio!" You huffed out, handing him a meat bun.
"Morning, and no thank you," he declined the meat bun, making you shrug and take a bite. "Do you always walk to school?" You ask, kicking some rocks, humming a light tune. He lightly hummed and didnt bother to look at you, making you pout. "You could give me a real answer Kageyama."
You cross your arms and notice the males ears turn slightly red and he nods. "Sorry," he mumbles and you guys arrive at the school, entering the door. You sighed lightly of relief, smiling at the slight warmth the inside of the school offered.
"Where are you going to Tobio?" You asked, turning to the male, leaning over and slapping your knee lightly. He took a glance at you and turned away, "im going to class. Bye." He walked off without another word from either of you two, and you huffed lightly.
(Sent September 24th at 6:51 am)
Y/N: [Shoyo! What does Kageyama do during lunch?]
Shoyo: [What? He doesnt do anything, what do you mean?]
Y/N: [He said he's busy today but i didnt get to ask him what he was doing :'/]
Shoyo: [Ah! Uhm.. ill ask him!]
You bit your lip and thought for a bit. You guessed maybe Hinata and Kageyama weren't as close as you thought. You stuffed your phone into your pocket and headed to your class, taking your seat behind the blonde, Tsukishima. "Hey, Tsukki," you tapped him.
"Hmm?" He hummed turning to face you. Class hasnt started yet, so you placed your plastic bag on the desk, smiling. "Want a meat bun?" His eyebrows went up before he glared at you, then nodded. You beamed at him as you handed him a bun, watching him take a bite.
"Thanks," he says and turns back to his seat. "Oh yeah, and don't call me Tsukki." He went back to working on some work that he had left to complete. You ate the last meat bun before placing the plastic bag into your backpack.
During lunch you decided that you would stay in the classroom, you didn't bother to go find another spot to sit or anyone to sit with. You slipped on some headphones and shuffled your favorite playlist, smiling at the tune. You ate your food that you had prepared as you doodled on some homework that you had finished.
You were so into your doodles that you almost didn't notice the freckled boy trying to get your attention. "Hello?" You looked up at him, smiling instantly at the cute boy. "W-wow, hey!" You slipped off your head phones and paused your playlist. "Im Tadashi, Tsukki's friend."
"Ah, you're from the volleyball club huh?" You smiled and took a quick bite of your food before turning your attention back to the male. He smiled and nodded his head, "yeah, you're kageyamas friend uh.. y/n?"
"Yeah, it's nice to meet you," you said and he scooted close to you. "What are you drawing?" He took a peek at your sketches and then looked back up at you, smiling. "Ah, sorry this is unrelated but– your eyes are so pretty," you giggle, cupping the males face, making him giggle as well.
"You know, you're very open," Tsukishima adds, turning around in his desk to face both you and Tadashi. You took another bite of your food and then leaned back in your desk. "Well, what's wrong with that?" You ask, smirking, "it makes it easy to talk to people and make friends."
Yamaguchi giggles a bit at your comment, but you weren't sure why. "Maybe if you were more open Tsukki, you'd have more friends," yamaguchi laughed out, causing you to also burst out in laughter. Tsukishima tried hard to act offended, but couldn't help but crack a small grin at his friends comment.
After school you decided to go to the gym again with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. You walked next to Yamaguchi and you two talked and laughed on the way there. "Volleyball is pretty fun! Have you ever played?" He asked and you smiled, nodding. "My old friends from Nekoma let me play with them sometimes," you blurted, bouncing with each step at the happy memory.
"N-nekoma?!" Yamaguchi gasped, jaw dropping. You nodded, furrowing your eyebrows. "Yeah, why?" You questioned, also noticing an intrigued glance from the taller male. "You moved from Tokyo? From Nekoma High?" He asked as you guys stepped into the gym.
"Yeah, I'm from Tokyo," you smiled, you and Tadashi following Tsukishima like puppy dogs, continuing the conversation. "Y/N!" A loud voice called and you turned to see Hinata running full speed at you. He stopped on his heels, infront of you with a big smile. "Hi!" He smiled widely and bounces.
You wave a small goodbye to Tadashi and Tsukishima as they go to set up and you turn back to the orange headed male. "Whats up Hinata?" Nishinoya and Tanaka trailed after Hinata, "you dont have friends here yet right?" Tanaka asked and you tilted your head.
"Ah, well its only my second day here. I only have Kageyama but hes so grumpy and busy all the time, but I think you guys are pretty cool," you giggled, swinging one of your legs to a random tune playing in that head of yours. "Do you want to walk home with us today? We're gonna stop by the coaches store after practice," Noya spoke up, hope in his eyes.
"Of course! As long as they have meatbuns," you closed your eyes, smiling at the thought of meatbuns. "Wow, you must really like meat buns. Kageyama said that you bought some this morning," Hinata jumped up and down in place to keep his legs warm.
"Yeah, theres a convenience store nearby my house on the way here, so I had to get meatbuns!" You heard Daichi calling the boys to huddle, so you took a seat near the side of the gym near where the managers were standing. You worked on some homework, once again letting your mind wander as you doodled on the page.
You decided to take a break and went on your phone. You were mindlessly scrolling through social media for the rest of the practice, not once noticing the time that passed by until you felt quick repeated taps on your shoulder. You jumped and saw Hinatas big goofy smile in your face.
"Lets go go go!" He jumped and rushed out the door, leaving you shocked and rushing to grab your stuff before running after him. You saw Kageyama, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi waiting outside the door, watching you and hinata rush out the door. "Noya and Tanaka had to leave early so its just us!" Hinata informed you. You guys head to the store, kageyama standing on the opposite side of the group of you.
"Hey Kageyama look," you grabbed a bag of candy off one of the shelves and held it up for him to see. "You used to eat this all the time in first grade," you giggled and inspected the bag. You decided to purchase it and some meatbuns before you guys finished your walk home.
It was nice to talk to new people, new faces, but you really wanted to spend time with Kageyama.
"Kageyama, do you want my mom to give you a ride home, my house is right around the corner," you say, stuffing a meatbun in your mouth while shoulder bumping the male playfully. Hinatas expression was confused, but slightly worried. "Kageyama are you okay?"
Kageyama looks up at Hinata and nods his head "I'm fine." He said, completely ignoring what you had asked him. Thinking he was maybe being stubborn you poked his ankle with the toe of your shoe, "atleast give me an answer Tobio."
"I'll walk home by myself," he muttered and sped up his pace, leaving you behind. You slowed down until you were next to Tsukishima and continued to eat your meatbuns. "Why do you let him treat you like that?" Tsukishima asked, taking a sip of his drink.
"Like what?" You asked, staring at the blonde with a look of utter confusion, making him nod. "He just ignores you or brushes you off half the time." He states before waving at Tadashi and Hinata that turned down different roads. "He's always been like that, even since we were children, hes just stubborn."
Tsukishima scoffs lightly. "Stubborn," he repeats softly, then turns to face you. "Ill see you tomorrow shorty," he says before slipping on his headphones and taking a right, leaving you to go left. You thought about what Tsukishima said, what did he mean? Kageyamas just like that, right?
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© tomura-heart — all rights reserved. reposting, modifying, or copying is not allowed. you may translate with my permission and correct crediting. do not read my writing as asmr. do not plagiarize.
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monst · 4 years
Note
Heya monst! If it’s not to much to ask, how would Kirishima + Amajiki (it can be separate or poly if that’s easier for you) be with an S/O with a smaller chest? I’ve been feeling pretty self conscious lately, and with the new episode out, I gotta get me some loving (SFW or NSFW)
Separate!!
__________________________
Itty Bitty Titty love💕
All characters 18+
Kirishima Eijirou x reader & Amajiki Tamaki x reader 
Warnings: Hmm both sfw & nsfw so sexy time themes 🤔 Ngl I really like how Tamaki's turned out 👉👈 it was like cute but also 👀😳. Breif sexting cause I hc Tamaki being good at sexting👀 And yeah enjoy?
Kirishima Eijirou 
Sfw
Never really noticed the size of your chest as it wasn't as important to the fact that you had accepted him as your boyfriend. He knew you were beautiful but the moment he figured that out wasn't due to your physical being. You were beautiful in theory, beautiful in the way your smile lit up his days, beautiful in the way that your words filled his heart with ease and beautiful in the way that there would be no other rose that could compare. 
Kirishima loved you and your body. He thought of you as the most perfectly imperfect being on earth. Every inch of flesh whether marked with a blemish or scar was beautiful to him. But Eijirou was well acquainted with the feelings of inadequacy. It did not take him long to notice how self conscious of your breasts you were. 
"It's just that some girls can wear things I can't you know?" "If I tried to wear that I'd look ridiculous since theres barely anything up here" "Guys like girls with big boobs so sometimes I get bummed out when were walking around and there's a girl with big tits" "Hell even Bakugou's breasts are bigger than mine." These were a few of the things you had said to the redhead when he had confronted about it. That day you both were to go out but you had canceled last minute claiming that you shouldn't.
"(Name)? Are you just some girl?" He had asked. "No, your not. And I'm not most guys if that's what your worried about." "I love every inch of you, you don't need to worry about me leaving you for such a superficial reason." "I love your breast and I'll keep on loving them till they turn into wrinkly saggy Bean bags. And you want to know why? Because there yours and nothing about you in my eyes is inadequate."
Nsfw
Kirishima loves that his hands can cover your breasts entirely as it makes him feel big. Just seeing his hands over your chest makes him feel protective of you. He loves the size difference and it helps inflate his ego. Which is good for him as sometimes he gets hit with those loser lows. 
He thinks it's hot that you sometimes go without a bra. Especially when he can see your nipples pebbling through whichever fabric you have on. He uses this to his advantage as he comes up from behind to grope your chest your nipples brushing up against his palms. He'll tease you by tugging on the hardened buds and lean down to whisper in your ear. "This is a nice treat~ If they were bigger you wouldn't be walking around like this." He never let an opportunity to make you feel good pass "Just another reason why I love you size" Needless to say when he said 'size' he'd draw a moan from your lips as he squeezed down. At the sound he wouldn't be able to stop himself~
Kirishima is very into body worship so when your bare before him expect lots of praise. His touch is surprisingly soft for someone so rugged. Until he goes beast mode XD. He'll make sure to give extra attention to your breasts. His mouth taking in your perky nipples into his mouth as you push your chest out. The scrapes you receive from his teasing bites have your back arching and his name spilling from your lips. His fingers massaging the mounds until your butter underneath him. "Are you going to cum? Just from this?" 
The tease loves blowing air onto them afterwards to see goosebumps litter your flesh. And the marks? Honey when you look into the mirror your chest is covered by various hickies and bite marks all indicating the amount of attention he poured into them the previous nights. You know sometimes when he catches you feeling down about your ta ta's he'll whisk you away to leave more love bites on them. Oh? Your in public? Does that really matter?
Amajiki Tamaki 
Nsfw & sfw mixed :p
Was not the best at hiding his nerves and now that he thinks back on it realized that he may have caused you more distress than comfort…. When you first removed your top before him he choked up. His face was a furious shade of red. His eyes were as wide as his gaping mouth and he didn't know what to do. He was torn between commenting and touching. He refrained from touching as he didn't want to gross you out with his sweaty palms…. So he sputtered an eloquent "Look nice they.".....
He figured out that he should have been more calm and he confronted you about it when he got an earful from Neijire about how you felt. Apparently "He just looked.. He didn't even touch me. It's like he was disappointed that there wasn't much to touch." Having those words thrown to his face by his friend made him feel as if he didn't deserve you but he wasn't going to give up on you. Not with how long he was pinning after you. Hell Amajiki decided that he was going to make you feel confident about your breasts and he was going to show you that he loved all of you!
Easier said than done…. You see you drove Tamaki up a wall. Just one look could send him into overdrive and he'd sputter and stumble over his words. This often did more harm than good in regards to your self esteem. And it would kill him when you'd give him a faux smile and pretend everything was okay. 
"Why can't I just say what I mean" he would huff. "Why don't you use your actions? You've always been better at doing then speaking" Mirio mused as he drank from his shake. "What are you saying Togata? You want Tamaki to press himself into (Name)'s chest?" He tuned them out and thought that maybe…. It wasn't such a bad idea. Needless to say you had received a really weird text from Nejire 'Please forgive Tamaki. He got advice from Togata…'
*ping* When you looked down at your phone you felt your face ignite. 'Are you alone? Scroll down if you are.' You did and you couldn't believe what you were seeing. Tamaki's eyes were half-lidded his sultry gaze burning you through the screen. His ivory skin tone was painted a rosy pink as he bit his lip seductively. 'That shirt you have on today is doing this to me.' 'All I can think about are your cute nipples peaking out at me through the fabric. And I just wanna bite down on them till you're begging me to keep going'
 You kept texting him your lip caught between your teeth 'Your size is perfect for going braless. And there just the right size for me to grope and tease. You want that right? It's why your wearing that shirt. You want me to grab your tits? Pull you into an alley and bend you over? Play with your cute nipples as I pound that tight pussy? Fuck bunny I better not see you while I'm on patrol. I won't be able to stop myself~' Your breath caught in your throat at the next picture. Your eyes were blown wide as you viewed the image. His thick cock was in hand, hard and throbbing and to put icing on the cake he was on patrol as you could see the white of the tunic caught in his teeth…… You totally went to the area he was patrolling and he definitely kept his promise.
Each day before he'd head out he'd leave you notes telling you how much he loved you and each day he'd dedicate it to a specific body part. Your lips, your nose, your voice, your breasts, you pussy, your eyes. Everything. It never failed to warm your heart and it helped you feel good about yourself. Your lover only had eyes for you and he made sure you knew it. And you'd feel your face burn when he'd give your twins appreciative kisses. "One for the left. And one for the right." You thought it was cute how red his face was when he'd do that. 
"H-have I told you how much I love you?" "Only a couple of times, but say it again so I don't forget" "I love you" He was super cheesy. And as he nuzzled against you he kissed in between your breasts. "I love all of you. Your absolutely perfect and I wouldn't change a thing about you. And whenever you feel anything less than perfect I'll be here to remind you that you're a goddess, deserving of everything good in life." It nearly brought you to tears. Had he not bitten a nipple playfully. You know Tamaki was more sexual that people gave him credit for and Oh- he was flipping you over. Guess he's gotta worship his goddess now~
Final commentary!!!!
All titties are great! Big titties, small titties, medium sized titties, no titties, titties that aren't the same size, pierced titties, titties with different sized areolas and nipples, titties that face east and west, titties that sag. You guys catch my drift right? Your boobs are yours and no one else's so please appreciate and love your body! And don't let anyone make you feel bad about it! After all there is only one you ^.^ And the you who you are is the perfect you!!!💕
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rhinotheamazing · 3 years
Text
One side, Two lives
Chapter nine
Nothing but a bad memory
First Previous Next
Warnings: swearing and eating disorder
Roman had woken up feeling awful and tired. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was three am. He had went to sleep at midnight.
Get up already you piece of shit. Roman sighed heavily. The voice practically never left him alone at this point.
           Roman was a pretty tolerant person. He put up with a lot even though he didn’t think he it. So the fact that he was actually annoyed and angry at this voice spoke volumes.
You know you’re a real fucking jackass sometime. Roman said as he got out of bed and headed towards his closet.
Well theres no way I could be worse than you, though that isn’t a very high bar is it? Roman paused as he was grabbing his jacket, not being able to say anything in response.
No witty retort for that huh? That’s because you know its true.
“Shut up” Roman growled to the darkness. This had become an unpleasant routine for the light side. Wake up, be insulted, pretend to eat, work on projects, workout till he felt like he might break, and then work on his projects again until he passes out. Then repeat the next day.
           Roman took a deep breath to calm himself down, he knew listening to voice wasn’t helpful for others so he tried his best not to listen. Though it did get hard when he agreed with it.
Enough talking, since I’m up early I might as well get things done. Roman though as he finished getting ready for the day and went over to his desk. He already had the next three videos planed out and scripted so he didn’t have much assigned work to do. Never the less he still pulled out his laptop and started typing out ideas that could work.  
           * time skip
Roman sighed and leaned back in his chair. He just finished writing out the next video, all he had to do now is finish putting the script together. He got up to stretch and checked the time. He was a bit surprise to see it was already nine am.
“Shit, I didn’t think it would take me that long.” The prince cursed to himself.
This is why you have to wake up early. Sleeping is a waste of time since you clearly don’t have the skill it takes to get your work done like a normal person. The voice said inside his head.
“Ya I guess you have a point.” Roman said as he brushed some of the stray hairs out of his face. His stomach growled which kinda surprised him. Geez how long has it been since I last ate? Roman tried to think and realize he hadn’t eaten in three days. Well shit, guess I have to eat today.
Technically you don’t have too. The voice said in a cruel tone. Roman rolled his eyes. I don’t want to but if I don’t I’ll pass out and I need to finish this script. The voice grumbled and that was as close as it ever came to agreeing with Roman.  
           The creative side walked out of his room and down the stairs. He didn’t hear anyone else up so he didn’t bother to shape shift yet. He walked into the still dark kitchen and went to grab an apple from a boll on the counter. Kinda odd that Patton isn’t up yet. Maybe he’s taking a second chill day or something. Roman thought to himself.
           He looked down at the apple in his hand and his face twisted in disgust. The idea of eating, it was just, not fun. It’s hard to explain. He felt like he was going to eat poison instead of normal food. Like eating would cause him some sort of disease. It’s just an apple, come on Roman. The creative side took a bite of the apple and chewed. Dammit why must this be so hard.
The prince somehow finished the apple and threw away the pit. He went back to his room and went over to his mirror. He had been rather cautious with going into the imagination ever since the voice had come back. It always got so much louder there that Roman had a hard time remembering that the voice was in his mind and not a person talking right next to him. Roman shook his head and walked through the door. Today the imagination was a bit cloudier but the prince simply smiled at the dark clouds. Unlike most he never saw rain as a bad thing like most people did. To him the rain was calm and beautiful, something that kept the plants and animals alive.
The prince started off towards a shoreline he and his brother had made when they where younger. Right next to the water sat a large cliff and today Roman’s goal was to climb it. It made for a good workout and the danger of it all was just fun to the princely character. Once he finishes his short jog the shore he looked up at the might mountain cliff. It was hard to quite see the top from his point of view and it made the creative side smile at the challenge.
           The adventurer started his climb, summoning some gloves and sneakers to make it ever so slightly easier. He was already in a more adventuresome outfit, jeans and an old shirt and jacket, but he had a certain pair of sneakers that where specifically for this. He started his way up (not using a rope but meh, who needs them) and was making decent time, especially considering his lack of sleep and food recently.
When he was half way up he looked out at the view before him. The early morning sun was shining through the clouds and onto the water making it sparkle, the wind carrying the smell of the sea. Roman smiled, he used to come here a lot when he and his brother where younger, it was one of the first places they had made.
 The memories where nice until they reach a certain point. Roman grimaced slightly, he didn’t like to think back to what happened, but the voice had brought those thoughts back to the fore front of his mind. He’s just a voice now, calm down. Roman told himself and tried to refocus on his task at hand.
Keep telling yourself that. The voice said, nearly making the prince loose his grip. He had been so lost in thought that he forgot the voice could hear everything he was thinking.
           Shut up. You’re nothing but a bad memory at this point, you have no power over me. Roman practically growled in his mind as he started to climb faster.
Do you really think that? Roman didn’t respond but kept climbing. Because he wasn’t sure. Ever since the voice had re appeared the red side had felt a feeling of dread. He didn’t like to think about the feeling too much, summing it up the feeling to unpleasant memories coming back. He shook his head and looked up, he was getting close to the top of the cliff at this point which put a small bit of ease into the prince’s mind.
           Roman was pretty tired when he finally pulled himself up to the top of the cliff. Not eating enough was starting to catch up to him and the thought made said side scowl. He sat up a little and looked around. The top of the cliff was covered in green grass that swayed in the wind and the tree line was only a few meters away. In total in was a rather lovely and calm place to be.
Maybe one of these days I’ll take Virgil here, I bet he would love the fireflies that come out at night.Roman smiled a bit at that thought, and looked up at the slightly stormy clouds. It looked like it would rain any minute and the creative side was glad he had finished his climb before that happened.
            He laid down on his back and tried to catch his breath, he was more tired than he thoughts he would be. As he looked behind him he saw a mountain in the distance and looked away. He absolutely hated that place even though he was the one who made it. That was the last place he had seen- just before he could finish the that thought a drop of rain fell on his nose.
A light rain started so the prince decided it was time to head back. He walked back to his door that was part of an ancient looking tree that was on the edge of the meadow. The entire way there the voice chastised the red side about being tired and not being strong enough. By the time Roman was back in his room his self esteem was extremely low. He changed into a pair of jeans and a comfy T-shirt and threw his now soaked outfit into a corner.
He wanted to throw himself onto his bed however sadly he knew he had work to do; but first he had to change his bandages.
His ribs were pretty much healed at this point so Roman hadn’t seen a problem with doing a bit of adventuring. He saw that it was 12 at this point and it felt like his day was dragging on forever. The prince sighed and went over to look at the work on his desk. The video he was working on was pretty simple, just Thomas having fun with his friends doing a few different challenges that have to do with musicals. He figured that he could give himself a little break and went to go get water for him and Alexander. He was certain that the others would be up at this point so he shapeshifter just a bit and made his clothes look a little bit nicer.
Man I’m using up a lot of energy today with summoning. Roman thought as he sighed and fixed his hair just a bit. He straitened his posture and strolled into the room unsurprised to see Logan writing something down at the table.
“Hey specks, what do you think of todays fine morning?” The princely character said with a faked smile. He grabbed two glasses of water and went to sit at the table. The logical side responded without even looking up from his work.
“Not bad, I was able to finish up my work pretty early so I decided to start on some of my own projects.”  A small smile was on the logical side’s face which made the prince curios. So he stood up and looked at the notebook in hand and saw a familiar creature drawn onto the page.
“How do you know about zip lions?” The creative side asked, clear confusion written on his face. Logan finally looked up.
“A zip lion?”  Roman nodded
“That’s what your drawing isn’t it? That’s clearly a drawing of Suzan, only her main looks like that.” Roman said tapping the part of the drawing that had a very fluffy main.
“So that’s what they’re  called.” Logan said looking back at his drawing. “Suzan was very nice by the way.” Roman went to go sit back in his chair.
“Yah but how do you even know her?” The logical side shrugged.
“Remus took me to the imagination yesterday.” Romans eyes went wide and he could never let up the opportunity to tease people.
“Wow didn’t know you and Remus went on a date.” Roman said with a smirk. Logan’s face turned bright red as he looked up from his notebook. He struggled to find anything to say. It was pretty funny to watch, the same Logan who almost always had something to say was speechless and that was quite the accomplishment in Roman’s book.
“Calm down I was just messing with you.” Roman said. He liked messing with his friends but he didn’t want to ruin Remus’s chances with the nerd. Logan re adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat.
“Well it most certainly wasn’t a date but it was nice. Your brother is quite the interesting person Roman.” Logan said with a soft smile. Roman smiled. He definitely has a crush on Remus. Of course instead of saying that the prince faked gaged.
“Hearing complements about my brother is killing me.” Logan rolled his eyes. The prince got up and stretched, though it did hurt his side a bit.
“Well, I have script to finish. Bye specks.” Logan nodded to him and Roman went back to his room. He gave the water to Alexander and the fly trap gave a sound similar to purring. The creative side smiled and petted the plant’s head a few times before going over to his desk. He finished up his work relatively quickly and putt his materials away. He didn’t have much else to do so he decided that he would just watch some Disney shows.
           After selecting Gravity Falls the creative side jumped into his bed and wrapped himself in a blanket. Since the day had been rather stressful he decided that he would try to relax before Patton called them all to get dinner. As the prince fell asleep the voice started to think. He absolutely hated Roman but he needed him for the mean time to make his plan work. Just you wait Roman, one day, you’ll be the one that’s nothing but a bad memory.
That took a while to write. Anyways I hope you’re all thoroughly worried for the future. It’s a lot of fun to make scenes creepy and stuff. Well, that all for now humans, have a good day, bye!
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@lovelivingmydreams
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hotchley · 3 years
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PLEASEEEEEEEEEE tell me theres a scene in bby Hotchner where they’re in public and Emily has to carry him like he’s her kid (bc honestly that’s the most realistic thing, they look super similar
(This was gonna be a whole fic, but my head is empty and I want to answer this because the visual is so cute, so here goes nothing. Also, if anyone would like to draw this, please feel free and I will love you forever. This also got slightly out of hand so please ignore how poorly placed the keep reading is but yeah)
And I low-key hate it because I feel like I didn’t really fulfil the prompt, but we’re going with it! (Again)
tw: very light implications of past child abuse 
It’s one of those days where he was restless. Rossi didn’t blame him. They were forced to spend the entire weekend indoors because of the horrific weather- he was not about to risk another cold- so he had a lot of pent up energy.
It eventually resulted in everyone giving each other identical looks because they love Aaron, they really do, but it’s very distracting and difficult to watch him running around everywhere and just being in awe of everything.
Emily stood up and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, he saw it was her and grinned. He’d never admit to everyone because he loves all of them, but Miss Emmy is one of his favourites. They look very similar, so he can pretend she’s his real mom.
Although, he’s learnt now, that family is more than blood and parents are the ones that care for you and love you unconditionally, so really, his new family are all his parents.
“Come on child, l’m taking you to the park,” she said.
Aaron’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yes. Because you have way too much energy and you need to burn it off. Also, you look very nice today and I would like to be able to tell everyone that you’re a mini-me.”
“I dressed myself today. Mr Dave isn’t very fond of me doing that, because apparently I choose strange things, but I told him that it was because I wanted to look like all of my favourite people,” he said with a smile.
“Well I think you look very fashionable. Are the mismatched socks inspired by Dr Spencer?”
“Yeah! And the slippers are inspired by you because you always wear the shoes that you want wherever you go,” he explained.
She smiled. “Well come on mini-me. To the park we go!”
Aaron ran ahead of her. She smiled. Maybe she would never have kids of her own, but this, this was good. And nice. And it felt like she was finally getting a chance at loving a child without fearing the worst.
Three hours passed. It was three hours of Aaron burning off forty-eight hours of pent-up energy. He went on the swings- he liked it when Emily pushed him because she was always less cautious than the rest of them- down the slide. He even ran around with some of his other friends.
Emily was just glad it was the ones whose parents believed he was her son from a previous relationship. It should have occurred to her before that they needed to agree on one story, but they hadn’t, and now some parents believed it was her son whilst some believed he was Derek and Spencer’s adopted son. 
The whole thing was a mess.
“Hey child! We need to head back now. It’s going to start getting dark soon,” she called out.
Aaron came running over. He seemed much more relaxed now.
“Did you say goodbye to your friends?”
He nodded. “Can we come again tomorrow? With Miss JJ and Dr Spencer and Miss Penny and Mr Derek and Mr Dave? Because I like going with you, but I also want us all to go because it’ll be so much fun!”
Emily blanched. That was not a situation anyone was prepared for. “I- we’ll see kid. Okay?”
Aaron pouted, but nodded. “Okay.”
Something seemed off, but she couldn’t quite place what it was. She shrugged, and carried on. Children were really strange. It was when they started getting closer to the building that she picked up on what was going on.
She turned around and Aaron was dragging his feet along the road, clearly tired from his time at the park. He was fighting to keep his eyes open and every step he took seemed to lead him one step closer to sleep.
Emily ran back over and crouched down. “Child, are you tired?”
He shook his head, but the yawn he let out completely undermined him. Emily raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. 
“I’m not tired. I have so much energy that I could... listen to Dr Spencer and then tell you everything he said!”
“I won’t make you go for a nap,” she said.
“Okay, maybe I am tired.”
“That’s what I thought,” she said, and she lifted him into his arms. For his age, he was both small and incredibly light, so lifting him wasn’t even a problem for Spencer, who they all joked was the weakest.
Well, the others joked. She didn’t believe there was any evidence so suggest the opposite.
He let out a yelp when his feet left the ground, but on instinct, he wrapped his legs around her waist and his arms around the neck. After a moment, he buried his head in her neck so he was essentially clinging to her like a koala.
Emily liked carrying him, and Aaron enjoyed the feeling of being picked up. Not having to walk was nice, because it meant he could close his eyes and just not worry about anything. Also, Emily’s hair smelt like peach and oranges, which was always a pleasant thing.
He held onto her, and by the time they reached the elevator, his grip had loosened significantly because he trusted her to not drop him, and that was something that Emily took very seriously.
Hotch had fallen asleep at some point, and she wasn’t about to wake him up. As they had been walking back, several people had given her soft smiles when they saw the child in her arms. One elderly lady had said that her son was the most adorable little thing she’d ever seen. Another parent had shushed her children because the little boy was sleeping.
“Hi Em,” Anderson said when she got in.
She shook her head slightly and tilted her head towards Aaron. Not that Anderson knew it was Aaron. At least, as far as she knew he didn’t. He had given them all strange looks recently. Ones that suggested he knew something. 
“Oh is he sleeping? So sorry. You know, he looks exactly like you, it’s almost eerie.”
“Grant, he has half my DNA. Of course he looks like me.”
“I mean, he does look more like Agent Hotchner, but sure. Whatever you say,” he said with a smirk.
Emiky’s jaw dropped.
“Like I told Agent Jareau, I’m more than just a pretty face. And this is where I get off. Bye Agent Prentiss. Bye Aaron!”
When Emily looked down, Aaron was staring at her with wide eyes. All the movement had made him wake up, and he did not look impressed.
“You woke me up,” he said.
“I’m sorry child. Would you like me to put you down?”
Aaron shook his head and tightened his grip. “Like it when you pick me up. Everyone thinks I’m your kid then.”
“If you like it, then I won’t let go,” Emily said. She meant it literally, but also metaphorically. She would never let Aaron go until he was ready. There would be no more darkness in his life.
“Good,” he said.
She entered the bullpen and a few of the other agents gave her fond smiles as they realised the child in her arms had his eyes closed. He was a cute kid. The resemblance to Aaron Hotchner was uncanny, but they were almost sure that was a coincidence.
When Dave saw Emily and Aaron return, he smiled slightly. When he realised that Aaron’s head was buried in Emily’s hair, he grinned. His job was going to be a lot easier.
“Hey little one. Did you have a good time at the park?”
Aaron nodded. “Miss Emmy carried me back as well. And she didn’t drop me at all!”
Dave’s smile wavered slightly. “That’s lovely to hear Aaron. Is Miss Emmy allowed to put you down now? I’m sure she wants to keep holding you, but I’ve missed my little one.”
Aaron nodded, and Emily passed him over. Dave kissed his forehead and Aaron giggled slightly.
When they got home, Aaron wouldn’t stop talking about how much fun he had at the park with his friends, and also about how nice everyone was. Dave smiled and responded at all the right moments. Never once did he try and cut the boy off, because he finally seemed comfortable enough to speak.
Aaron wouldn’t complain when Dave sent him to bed. And after they had made sure there were no monsters in the bed, closet, or outside in the hallway, he climbed into the bed. When Dave sat beside him to put the night light on, he didn’t flinch away.
“Mr Dave?” he said just as he was about to leave.
Dave turned around.
“I love you. And Miss Emmy. A lot.”
“We love you too kid.”
Aaron smiled, and fell asleep, dreaming of parks and being held. And feeling safe.
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Text
Congratulations
“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.
“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled. 
“So, what are we here for today?”
“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”
She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?” 
“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”
“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”
“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”
“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”
You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day. 
*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”
“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”
“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”
“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”
“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”
“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”
“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”
You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*
Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.” 
“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married. 
“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. “There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”
“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”
“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”
You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”
She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me. 
Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”
You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth. 
“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping. 
“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”
“Lukeee seriously”
He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”
“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”
“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?” 
You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”
You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”
“So then you're going to tell him.”
“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.
“You have to..you know he would want to know.”
“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”
“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.” 
You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”
“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears. 
“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”
“No, thank you I’m just looking.”
“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”
“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you. 
“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.
“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it. 
“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”
“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”
She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”
“Not very far, only a few months.”
“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”
You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.” 
You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.
---
Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)
Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.
xoxo
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asthmark · 4 years
Text
❝ lucky ❞, z.c
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pairing → chenle, reader
genre → fluff, angst? a lil??
word count → 3.1k (woah!!)
summary → "you just deserve… so much more than that. do you realize how true that must be for a boy you just met today to see it?"
a/n → this is 1000% inspired by this pic that dropped yesterday like.....chenle looked so good it reminded me why i bias him!!!! anyway i kind of like this it has rich chenle and daddy issues thats all xoxo (also i did not proofread like at all so if theres any typos it was taeil's fault lol)
everyone in the room is utterly unbearable.
you understand it's rude to think so but you're sure that if you were to tell any of them this they would instantly agree with you. of course, you would never do that. because you're a ceo's daughter; you're not allowed to have an opinion that would make you look imprudent, rude or anything less of perfect.
so what do you do? you smile. you make small talk. you try your best to ignore your sore feet that are confined in your pumps and the way your dress rides up your butt. your lack of manners could not and would not be the reason your father missed out on any chance to make some more money. he made that very clear to you. after all, the only reason he dragged you along to all these house parties was so you could make make a stellar impression. he wanted all the businessmen in the room to remember mr. l/n and his charming young daughter when they got in their limousines and drove back home so that they'd remember when they discussed mergers and new projects.
you were never comfortable with the idea of your father essentially using you as some sort of accessory but you sometimes went days on end without seeing him so you took what time you could get. of course, helping him build his empire and boost his reputation wasn't your preferred daddy-daughter activity but you would never tell him that. it would just cause problems in your already rocky relationship and you certainly didn't need that.
"y/n." speak of the devil. "why don't you make conversation with the other guests? or better yet, come talk to these investors. i'm sure they'd love to meet you."
you know exactly what your father means by that so you try to find a reason to decline. anything would be better than watching him suck up to anyone with deep pockets and try to get you to do the same. "um." you repress a relieved sigh when you catch sight of yuna entering and handing her coat to a housekeeper. "actually i see my friend over there. i think i'll just go talk to her."
he frowns and you realize his face seems to be permanently stuck like that when he was around you. you can't remember the last time you'd seen an authentic smile from him. you suppose that was reserved for when he was trying to seal a deal.
"just behave yourself," he says. he leans into your ear. "remember, people are watching."
then he's gone, leaving you standing alone for a split second before yuna comes and takes his place.
"hey!" she draws out the word for dramatic effect.
"hi," you respond, your greeting lacking the enthusiasm hers held. she wasn't your favorite person but it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't observing your every move. it gave you a break from the ridiculous standards everyone else seemed to hold you to.
she brushes her bangs out of her eyes as she sized you up. "ooh, i love your heels! how much?"
"like 15 bucks." her jaw drops and you can't help but giggle. "yeah, i bought them at a thrift store. just don't tell my dad."
she grins. "wow, i always thought thrifting was for poor people but i just might have to check it out now."
that was the thing about yuna. she was stupid rich and she wouldn't have it any other way. she loved designer brands and houses so big you could get lost in them. you didn't blame her for any of that but it was the fact that she didn't mind the stuffy dinner parties and being shown off that was a little puzzling to you. unlike you, she had perfected her fake laugh and polite small talk long ago and sometimes you wondered if she really did care about all these companies and powerful men. but you know that as long as she gets to wear her thousand dollar dresses and go home to her cozy mansion, she'll be happy. she did what it took to keep her lavish lifestyle and was a little too materialistic for your liking and you guess that's where you and her are different.
you finally answer her. "yeah, definitely. it's a lot of fun."
her eyes light up. "we should go together one of these days!"
your silence is definitely too long but thankfully, yuna doesn't notice. her short attention span had caused her to focus on something else—more specifically, someone.
"oh my god," she says. "who is that?"
a boy who looks around your age has appeared, accompanied by a middle-aged man in a suit. the older man is more put together by far but you still can't help but stare at who you assume to be his son. he's wearing a black jacket on top of a striped shirt and you notice that chains hang from his neck. a belt holds up a pair of dark and tight pants. and, god, is he wearing converse?
you can't help but crack a smile at that. you envy his comfortable look; you would trade all the chanel and prada in the world just to wear a t-shirt and pair of sneakers and not have everyone in the room judge you for it. but his outfit isn't the only thing you admire. he must have crazy amounts of confidence to show up looking like he does when being surrounded by so many managers, executives, and company heads. you can only imagine what they're thinking and yet, the boy didn't seem to care or look uncomfortable in the slightest. in fact, he seems oddly at ease, his eyes scanning the room. at one point his eyes sweep over you and you lock eyes.
you watch as he brushes his bangs out of his face, almost like he's trying to get a better look at you. you only stare back, shifting your weight from one leg to the other. he offers you a half smile, his eyes squinting slightly and cheeks growing. you can't help but smile back, noticing just how the stranger's had an adorable baby face.
he looks away when he notices his father gravitating towards a group of businessmen and follows him. you almost wonder if he was in the same position as you were, if he was nothing but a poster child who was shown off at every event and party there was. then you notice how his father holds him tightly and smiles widely—genuinely—when he introduces him to others.
your father never did that. he wouldn't let you wear clothes like that either. you could only assume that this boy and his father were different from the rest of you. maybe they sat down and had dinner together everyday? talked to each other about their day? you almost throw the idea out of your head completely because it seems just too foreign to you.
"oh my god," yuna says. that seemed to be her favorite phrase. "i've never seen them before. what do you think they're doing here?"
you shrug. "maybe they're new to town?"
she hums. you both stay silent, observing the pair before yuna seems to grow impatient. "well i'm gonna go meet them. i can't handle being out of the loop. wanna come?"
you say agree. you feel obligated to. for the first time in forever you're actually interested in something at one of these dull parties, you're not going to stand around and just watch.
you approach the newcomers, both your fathers and a couple other businessmen conversing with them. you wonder if they've already asked them how much they're worth or if they had the decency to wait a minute before sticking their noses in their business. but, you knew how people like them operated; decency was way too much to ask.
"hi daddy!" yuna enters the conversation swiftly.
"hi, sweetheart," her father responds, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "this is my precious daughter, mr. zhong." he turns to yuna. "he and his son are visiting us all the way from our china branch. yuna, introduce yourself."
she doesn't need to be told twice. "hello, i'm yuna. i'm 17 years old and i'm studying at daewon preparatory. we're glad to have you here.it's a pleasure to meet you both."
mr. zhong smiles fondly at her. "the pleasure is all mine, young lady. what a beautiful daughter you have, mr. shin. she seems very capable."
yuna's father pulls her close to him, smiling at mr. zhong then her. "she sure is." you catch the subtle wink he throws her way, a silent 'good job' for that cute little introduction she did which was sure to score them some popularity points with the zhongs.
your father pulls you close to him and wraps an arm around your figure. both mr. zhong and mr. shin seem to be quite the fans of physical contact and although your father was not, you know that if that's what it took to make a good impression, he would become one, at least for the night.
"this is my daughter, mr. zhong." he turns to you and you take it as a cue to say something.
"hello, mr. zhong. i'm y/n." your introduction ends there and you feel your dad's grip on your arm tighten, indicating how unsatisfied he was with your brief answer.
you catch mr. zhong's son smile for the second time that night. although there is no mysterious eye contact this time, just a cute boy probably making fun of your lame introduction.
"well, how old are you, y/n?" mr. zhong asks, making conversation for you.
"i'm eighteen."
"oh, so is my son! isn't that right, chenle?"
his son—chenle—nods.
"well, i think we should leave the children to become acquainted. what do you think, gentlemen?"
everyone seems to agree. then, all that's left is the three of you.
to your surprise, chenle speaks first and it's a reintroduction. "i'm chenle."
you copy him. "i'm y/n."
"and i'm yuna. so, you're from china right?" she doesn't give him a chance to respond. "i read that there are over four million millionaires there. are you one of them?"
he furrows his brows and you can't help but sigh at yuna's question. she was fixed on the money aspect of things, as usual.
"i guess," he says, giving it little thought.
she practically squeals. "you're probably one of the youngest in the country! have you ever thought about that?"
"not really. i don't really like to think about money or these companies or big shot business dudes or any of that," he says, bluntly. "i mean, it would just make me feel more privileged than i already am. besides, it's all just a big headache. i'll leave it for the old man."
yuna's face falls and you hold in a laugh.
you finally chime in. "you know what, i have to agree. so much money can drive a person crazy. sometimes it even goes straight to their heads."
chenle can't hold back his amused snort. both him and yuna know exactly who you're referring to.
she wastes no time defending herself.  "but, with reason y/n. to be fair, only 1% of millionaires are under 35 and here i am at 16."
you restrain yourself from scoffing. "well i'm sure the other 99% of the population doesn't get things handed to them on a silver platter by their daddy, yuna."
she stares you down, her huge, hazel eyes never leaving your e/c ones. "i think it'd be best if i excused myself. i'm going to go find my father, if you both don't mind."
"not at all," chenle mumbles as you both watch her stomp away.
you exhale loudly. "i knew i was gonna snap one of these days."
"well, if you didn't i would have," chenle responds.
"frankly, i don't regret a thing," you say, turning back to his smiling face.
"mm, and what if she tells daddy?" he inquires, folding his arms.
you playfully raise a brow. "i'll have you know, i'm one of the 1% of millionaires that are under 35, i think i have the advantage."  
he giggles. "oh god, that was unbelievable. where did she even get those numbers from?"
"i have no idea but it was just… painful to watch. i'm gonna need a breath of fresh air after that."
he nods in agreement and you both walk towards the nearby balcony.  you step outside, the breeze whipping your hair all over the place and leaving goosebumps on your skin.
"you know," he begins before silence can settle upon you two for too long. "i was really hoping there would be someone around my age here tonight. and i don't know if you usually come to these things or if you don't but either way, i am so glad you're here."
this comment reminds you of the way he had stared you down upon arriving and it makes your face feel a little warm despite the cool air of the night. "'cause i'm the only thing standing between you and a wonderful night with yuna."  
"oh i'm sure it would've been real wonderful." he gives you a 'yeah right' look. "we couldn't even hang around each other for more than five minutes, i'm positive it would've been a long night."
you nod. "every night with her is. usually she's the only person i end up talking to at these things and let me just say, i think she's more money-hungry than all the men in there combined."
chenle whistles, lowly. "combined? that's dangerous."
"yeah, she takes after daddy," you mutter, picking at your nail polish that has begun to peel.
"what a relief you don't," he says. "or else i think i would have thrown myself off this balcony by now."
"well, you don't have to worry about that. you and i are on the same boat. money doesn't interest me all that much. definitely not to that extent."
"what does interest you?" chenle asks, turning his attention to you instead of the city lights in the distance.
you shrug. "i haven't figured it out yet. i'm too busy trying to be perfect. and i have a long way to go. just ask my dad, he seems to have really strong opinions on the matter."
"oh, i get it," he says. "you're so focused on being the perfect daughter that you haven't figured out what's going on in there." he wiggles his finger around your forehead.
"i just… want to make him happy. i want to see him smile because of me. even if 'me' is that daughter he expects me to be. i'm okay with being her. i'll take it."
chenle furrows his eyebrows and suddenly he doesn't seem to get it anymore. "you really... become an entirely different person? just for him? i mean, you seem like a good daughter. i don't understand that, y/n."
"and you won't understand, chenle," you respond. "because your dad loves you. he lets you wear your edgy clothes to business parties and doesn't worry about what everyone else is gonna think. he doesn't worry about first impressions, he doesn't force you to become someone else for strangers. he doesn't put any business deal above you. he doesn't chose his job over you, chenle and that's great. i'm so happy that's not the case with you. but it is for me. and when you know that the only time your dad is going to want anything to do with you is when you can help him make a quick buck or good impression, you resort to facades and doing anything you can to make him appreciate you. just a little."
chenle's arms envelop your shivering figure before you can say another word. his hands run up and down your arms and his chin rests atop your head. he inhales deeply, taking in your wonderful scent. he knows it's probably some off the wall expensive perfume.
"i'm so sorry, y/n," he mumbles into your coconut scented locks. "i'm sorry that you have to do that and that i won't ever be able to understand it. you just deserve… so much more than that. do you realize how true that must be for a boy you just met today to see it? and it breaks my heart that your own father doesn't because you really shouldn't have to suffer through that. he doesn't have his priorities straight but that shouldn't be an excuse for him to neglect his own daughter." he detaches from you so he can look directly into your glossy eyes, holding you at an arm's length away.  "and he has no idea what he's missing out on, y/n. you're so headstrong, so humble and so much more than just a pretty face or someone's daughter. and if he can't treat you like the incredible individual you are then...." he exhales and you catch his breath blow in the air. "then please let me."
your bottom lip is quivering. you had never heard such nice words. and you don't have the slightest idea what he means by that last bit but you still nod and jump right back into his arms. because you have decided that's where you feel safest. where you can be yourself, freely and unapologetically.
"the second i walked in this place, i hated it," he mumbles and a laugh escapes your lips. "but then i saw you. and it got a little better. then i met you. and it got a lot better. we just met but i already can't seem to get enough of you, y/n." he chuckles as if he can't believe it himself. "you must be something really special. and i have the privilege of seeing that."
you move away from his chest and look up at him. your hands thread through his tufts of hair that match the darkness of the night sky. his hands stay planted firmly at his waist. you feel like he has no intention of letting go. you would be lying if you said you did either. and neither of you seem to have a problem with it.
"i can't wait for you to finally feel what it's like to be treated how you deserve. and i can't wait to be the guy to show you. i am so, so lucky."
you smile, your teeth on display. "i'm actually so glad i came tonight. that is definitely a first."
he laughs. "speaking of firsts..." he trails off, shyly.
you raise a brow, just to tease him a bit. "what are you getting at, mr. zhong?"
he knows you're joking yet his heart pounds as he leans in and asks for permission to kiss you. "may i, ms. l/n?"
"you may," you respond, meeting him halfway.
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The Intern | Part Two
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Summary: You move to New York to focus on your art but end up working as an intern at Stark Enterprises
Chapter Summary: you get an surprise visit on your day off
Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader
Word Count: 1600 and something (kinda short but i’m already half way through writing part three)
A/N: for the purposes of this story Stark Enterprise is set out like an office building in New York and the story does not follow the same timeline as the movies. Reader does not know Peter is SpiderMan. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)
Masterlist   Part One
- - - - -
It had been a week since your meeting with Tony and since then the two of you had become quite good friends. Tony would make sure he came to the desk everyday or found you at lunch with Peter to catch up with you both.  
Today was your first day off in a while and it was much needed. You’d spent the day in your loungewear, doing some painting and listening to old 80’s rock music. In the evening you decided to order pizza, and do some baking while you wait for it to be delivered. You were just getting the ingredients ready when someone knocked at the door. ‘Pizza is early’ you thought as you put down the flour and headed to answer the door. 
“Wow that was quick- oh” you said opening the door surprised to see Tony on the other side. 
“Sorry were you expecting someone?” He asked.
“No no, just thought you were the pizza guy” you laugh awkwardly. 
“No pizza here I’m afraid. Just me. Wanted to check in, see if you’re okay? Didn’t see you in work today”
“It’s was my day off. I’m back in tomorrow”
“Ah right. Good. Well, that’s great then” he turns and goes to leave. 
“Would you like to come in for a drink, and maybe some pizza? Seeing as you came all this way.” You ask, surprising yourself with your sudden confidence. 
“I don't want to intrude..”
“you wouldn’t be. Ive been on my own all day, it would actually be nice to have some company.”
“Thanks” he smiles and walks past you. You shut the door, silently cursing yourself as you realise that your boss, THE Tony Stark, has now seen you in your paint stained loungewear. You follow him into the open plan kitchen/living room of your apartment and wish you’d cleaned up first. Your paints, brushes and sketchbook still all over the coffee table from earlier and the kitchen messy with baking stuff. 
“Sorry about the mess” you apologise, fiddling with the messy bun you’d thrown your hair into this morning, attempting to tidy it up a bit. 
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not that bad”
You raise your eyebrow at him.
“no really, I’ve seen rooms in much worse states than this after some of the parties I used to have back in the day”
You both laugh and Tony walks over to look at one of the paintings hanging on your wall “this is nice” he says pointing at it and you walk over to stand next to him. The painting is of a beach with the sun setting over the ocean, the orange glow reflecting off the waves and ripples in the water. 
“its the beach I used to visit every summer when I was a kid. Some of my favourite memories happened there” you stare at the painting daydreaming about the past. Picnics with your parents, playing fetch with your childhood dog, swimming on really hot days. Tony watches you out the corner of his eye, smiling when he notices the content smile that has appeared on your face. When you suddenly take a breath and snap back into the present he turns his attention back to the painting. 
“this is actually one of the first paintings I ever did-“
“you painted this?” Tony interrupts, turning to look at you and you give him a shy nod. “wow, you have a real talent. When you said before that ‘painting didn’t pay the bills’, I presumed that just meant you weren’t very good”
You burst out laughing his blunt honestly which takes Tony by surprise. 
“no, no what I meant was, the art world is a hard one to get into as an unknown artist. I couldn’t risk waiting around for that big break.”
Tony nods, looking at you thoughtfully.
“can I see some more of your work?” He asks.
“yeah sure, I’ve got some stuff in a folder in my room” you say as you run off toward your bedroom. When you come back out carrying the folder of paintings you notice Tony sitting on the sofa looking through the sketchbook you’d left on your coffee table. 
“these are really good y/n, really I mean that.” He says, turning the pages and you take a seat next to him “you’ll have to paint something for me to hang in my office, that place needs brightening up a bit-“ he stops when he reaches a pencil sketch of Steve Rogers and you feel your whole body cringe. “this guy? really, you drew this guy?”
“what, I, uh..” You stutter “..he’s got a good jaw line. It’s very satisfying to draw” you shrink down into the sofa wishing it would swallow you whole, then theres a knock at the door.
“ah that will be the real pizza guy” you say jumping up to walk to the door but Tony stands in your way.
“no let me get it. You get us some drinks. I’ve been here a full five minutes and you’ve still not got me one” he winks at you and you roll your eyes playfully.
As you get glasses out the cupboard and put them on the counter you notice Tony is acting suspiciously. He walks slowly and carefully toward the door, and takes a long look through the peephole before finally opening the door. You presume he’s just always on high alert because of who he is. Being a high profile business man and one of the best known superheroes must mean he’s used to having dangerous people lurking around every corner. 
After pouring two drinks you move over to the sofa and place the glasses down on the coffee table and hiding your sketchbook under the sofa. Tony appears with the pizza and you quickly move your paints off the table to make space for him to put the box down. 
“thanks for grabbing the pizza, you’ve saved me the embarrassment of anyone else seeing the state of me right now” you say gesturing to your clothes, as he takes a seat next to you and you hand him his drink.
He looks you up and down, shrugs and says “I’ve seen worse” and winks at you. He holds his glass up for you to toast and you hold your glass up too.
“to you, and your weird fascination with Captain America’s chin” he teases you and you shake your head at him.
“I am not toasting to that” you laugh
- - - - -    
An hour later you’d both got through the whole pizza and almost a whole bottle of wine, talking and laughing the whole time as Tony told you about some of the things he used to get up to pre Iron Man. You get up to carry the empty pizza box over to the bin in your kitchen and refill both your glasses. 
“hey what’s for dessert” Tony shouts over to you.
“well I was just about to start making brownies before you arrived”
“I was only kidding about dessert but actually I would kinda love some brownies right now” Tony says, getting up and walking over to join you in the kitchen.
“well I guess we could bake some?” you say half joking but Tony grabs your apron off the hook on the wall and ties it around his waist which makes you laugh.
“what are you laughing at, I'm ready to learn”
“wait, you’ve never made brownies before? Not even as a kid?” You ask in disbelief and Tony shakes his head.
“my family weren’t really into that sort of thing” he shrugged. 
“well then Mr Stark, I am about to change your life” you say, handing him a wooden spoon and he smiles at you. 
Tony mixed together the melted chocolate and butter with the eggs and sugar while you measure out the flour into a bowl. You handed him the flour to add into the mixture but as he poured it in he dropped some of the flour onto the arm of his suit and you laughed covering your mouth with your hand. 
“oh you think thats funny do you?” He says and he takes a hand a handful of flour and chucks it at you, laughing. You gasp and wipe some of the flour off yourself before grabbing a handful and throwing it back at him. He grabs your hand mid air and pulls you slightly but you trip over your own feet and stumble into him. He catches you and the laughter dies down as you both look into each others eyes, faces dangerously close to each other. His eyes flicker down to your lips and he moves in slightly. But then he stops, and lets you go. Clearing his throat and taking a step back. You take a deep breath and brush some flour off yourself. 
“well, uh, this was fun” he says, slightly awkward “but, I should probably be going now”
“yeah, yeah..” you agree walking him to the door “it’s getting late”
He stops at the door and turns around to smile at you.
“thanks for the pizza, and for the baking lesson”
“no problem” you smile “i’ll bring some of the brownies in to work tomorrow” 
“Good night y/n” he says walking out the door
“Good night” 
You close the door behind him and press your forehead against it, replaying what just happened in your head. Did you really just almost kiss your boss? And did he almost kiss you back? Did you overstep your boundaries even inviting him in tonight? Would things be awkward tomorrow? 
You let out a frustrated sigh and go back to the kitchen to finish baking and tidy up the mess from your flour fight. You know there’s no point thinking about it tonight but you also know that you won’t be able to think of anything else. 
Part Three
Taglist: @brownbuble​ 
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