#weird that a depressive episode has me writing again

[the-and-sign-anon]

Okay, so this Gareth fic is getting long

Not the longest thing I’ve written of course, but longer than I expected

But it might turn out to be one of the cutest things I’ve written so far, so fingers crossed that it works out 🤞

#haven rambles #I’m back at work again #I was up until 2:30 last night #I might be up late tonight working on this fic #weird that a depressive episode has me writing again #I am but a humble servant to the writing gremlin in my brain #its will is my command #I really really love what I’m writing honestly #it feels like a long time since I’ve been this happy with my first attempt at a character

[gremlingottoosilly]

krueger mentioned!! i was so excited to see his name in IYNTBM! do you have any silly/dark hcs or plans to write about him?

Yes!! Krueger my beloved!! I feel like the only reason he isn't as popular as Konig is because he has a canon height that is shorter than 180, so people literally don't see him hehe. Hc and my plans under the cut!

I imagine him like a childhood best friend of Konig - probably around the same age, maybe Krueger is 2 years younger. He is a lieutenant in rank(idk about the mercenary ranks bear with me here, Konig is a colonel) and he wasn't promoted as much specifically because of his violent tendencies. PMC doesn't really care about war crimes as long as it's not a public spectacle, but even the companies he was working in were quite weirded out by the shit he was pulling. yes, he is the best man if you want to torture someone - and then again, he is the best torturer out here, and he sleeps next to you, drinks next to you, hits on the same girls as you etc... He is a nasty, nasty gremlin. The type to hit on the waitresses in a very sleazy manner, the type to say "Hey guys, let's protect this one" in a creepy manner if he sees a woman agreeing with him on his very controversial statements. Currently, in the timeline of IfYouNeedToBeMean, he is sitting home because of his arm injury(got stuck in the burning car, and had to break his arms to get out) and is very angsty and bored about it. Like Konig, he can't really enjoy civilian life, medical discharge is literally his worst days, and he actually has a history of depressive episodes. He DOES NOT cope well with civilian life, and his preferred hobby at home is drinking and ignoring his therapist's messages. Konig helped him quite a bit in his habit - gave the number of his therapist, bless this poor human, trying to support him as much as he can. Konig asks him to babysit his darling because he knows that more than one month at home would probably make Krueger consider killing himself, and he also trusts the man with his life - and his wife. Sebastian has a very perverted sense of morality, but he recognizes the reader as Konig's girl, and he would not touch the stuff that belongs to him. Yeah, we are "Konig's stuff" for him. If I was writing a different story and if Konig and Krueger met the reader at the same time, I would actually see them sharing her - they are not attracted to each other, but they feel like brothers sometimes and could have this mentality of sharing everything between them. Darling stuck with two nasty perverts...yeah, not the best scenario. Unlike Korangi x Reader, Konig and Krueger wouldn't sleep with each other - so you'd have to be their release every time, each time, giving him equal attention because Konig is insecure and Krueger just loves causing problems on purpose.

#cod #konig x reader #yandere konig #sebastian krueger #krueger x reader #yandere cod

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! I'm really sorry to hear about your experience on Hill House. I do a lot of work in VFX in pre/prod/post and I know that sort of production that feels like a sinking ship day in and day out. I do hope you have found some catharsis now that it's over.

The show shook me. Changed me. Made me reckon with myself as a storyteller and as a person. All for the better, I assure you.

I hope to one day tell such an impactful story of my own, either through one of my short films, or through the novel series I'm writing/illustrating. Which brings me to my question: How do you navigate the complexities of having authored a work that did so much harm to yourself but also did a lot of good for others? What lessons do you hope aspiring storytellers like myself take from your difficult experience? Thanks :)

Thank you for saying this.

It's true, HILL HOUSE was a very negative experience to make - but I will always be profoundly proud of the finished product. It's some of my favorite work. I may never again face down something as challenging as episode 6, and I love the impact it has on a lot of its viewers.

There's a weird thing that happens when you finish a project - it really ceases to be yours in any way at all. It belongs immediately to the audience, and they're given an experience that you will never have. When HILL HOUSE came out, I didn't watch it - I'd seen it hundreds of times by that point, but at the same time, I've NEVER seen it.

Every frame of it is informed by my experience making it, or my intentions, or the compromises we made here, or the line we cut there that I wish we'd kept, or a bad day on set, or a problematic actor, or a visual effect we never quite got right (there are a LOT of those in HILL HOUSE, some of them still make me wince.) So I'm never able to WATCH the show. It's a tradeoff we make all the time - if you're lucky enough to make a movie, or a TV show, that's the price of it - you'll never be able to watch it.

But, I get to see how it affects other people. More than anything else I've made, HILL HOUSE seems to have the largest and most passionate fanbase. (BLY is a close second, though that's a whole other blog entry - I could write a book about the complicated, fascinating experience of the BLY fandom).

But with HILL HOUSE, I'd hear a lot from people who lost loved ones, who navigate complicated family dynamics, and who have wrestled with depression or grief. It means the world to me. It's a strange divide, as I'll never see the show that they saw - but I am so grateful that it touched them the way it did.

I'm just about at the point where I think I'm capable of sitting down and truly watching HILL HOUSE. It takes years sometimes. I've watched a lot of my early work, like HUSH or GERALD'S GAME, and finally had the experience of really SEEING it. But HILL HOUSE has always felt a little too raw, and my memories still overpower my ability to separate myself from it. Maybe that's changed. Maybe I'll give it a shot this year. Half a decade seems like enough time.

But yes, it is complicated and strange with all of them. I so badly want to watch MIDNIGHT MASS, the project that was the most personal to me - but it flew off into the world just like they all do. I spent a decade working on it, and felt it flowing through me every day - like it was a part of me. But the moment the show was done and released into the world, it wasn't mine anymore, just like all the others. I remember feeling almost knocked over when it departed, for some reason I thought that one would always feel like a part of me... but no. They're like children, they all have to go live their own lives, and they don't belong to you. Not really.

#the haunting of hill house #the haunting of bly manor #midnight mass

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke’s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

#naruto #kakashi hatake #sasuke uchiha #itachi uchiha #sakura #yamato #slander #who fed the animals I stg #guys I love this anime plz don’t come for me #yapping #part 2 might be tn or tomorrow idk #uchiha sasuke #uchiha itachi #uchiha obito #hatake kakashi

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way (Dark Ending): Going Under, Part 2

Raider!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Raider!Tommy Miller x Fem!Reader

Spotify Playlist

Summery: After you give birth to Ellie in the cabin, Joel fins you and Tommy, besting Tommy in a fight. What happens to you? What happens to Ellie, Tommy, Lorenzo and the rest of the family Little One has acquired? How does Little One learn to cope with her new reality? Does she fall into the darkness that surrounds Joel and all he touches? Can Joel really change for you and your daughter?

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WARNING, graphic violence, murder, manipulation, the horrors, Joel being Joel, Tommy being kinda pathetic, Joel's weird sexual fantasies, breeding kink, abuse of power. Just.... all the bad.

Extra on the executions. Suicidal ideation. Sorry, I should've put tjat in the warnings first chapter but I just came up, so this is your warning now. Im tryingto think of all the hardest stuff that happens now so I can warn ahead of time but sometimes it just happens while writing you know? Things come up. Dont say i didnt want you with major character death

a/n who watched Avatar TLA growing up? There a reference to it at the very end.... that episode traumatized me

*******************

It had been four days before Joel came and got you. The room was cold from the cool outside air; it was far from freezing, only a crisp Wyoming early fall so far. This had proven a benefit, despite the way you shivered under tattered blankets, as it aired out the bucket of piss and shit that was your toilet.

Ellie had to be dead by now. Infants need to be fed regularly, every 2-3 hours according to Maura… your breasts hurt, they hurt so fucking bad sometimes you cried from just that… but it wasn’t a hard leap from your depressed mindset. The pain was aching and you had to squeeze the milk out of your engorged breasts just to have a little relief. Your vagina hurt, too. Luckily you had stopped bleeding, although you wished you’d just bleed out already. Everything was pain and your dreams in the few moments you were sleeping were filled with nightmares.

You weren’t sure what you were living for. You laid on the mattress hour after hour, staring at the broken glass from your fit, thinking you could easily kill yourself… The only thing that stopped you was the effort it would require. Dazed, almost… that was the best way to describe it, all the hours blurring together

Honestly, you hadn't expected Joel to return at all. You figured he killed Ellie or just let her starve, killed Tommy and would just let you waste away in this god forsaken room, the room where so much happened.

Tommy taking your virginity after you begged him, playing go fish for hours.

Joel raping you, loving you, cuddling you.

Nick.

When he walked into the room, you didn’t even look up. You didn’t have the energy anymore. When his strong arms scooped you up, leading you out of the piss-smelling room, you instinctively wrapped your arms and legs around him like before… it had been habit at this point, after a year of doing this and you were no stranger to your body betraying you.

Joel, in turn, held you close. “Just look what you’ve done, hermosa… but it’s okay, we can fix it.”

“No” you whine, head in the crook of his neck. Why was his smell comforting after all that had happened? “We can’t fix this.” Your baby is gone, after all you did to try and save her.

“Yes, yes we can, you just gotta be good.” Of course Joel thought this was fixable. Ellie was only ever his replacement for Sarah, so she was replaceable herself. Joel would put a baby in you again and if it was a boy? Another one. And another, and another until you died, then he’d move onto the next vulnerable young girl.

Joel took you outside. When you saw the raiders all surrounding the yard, a yard that had previously been your comfort, a place you imagined your baby playing, you figured this is where he killed you. You were ready.

“Watch her” And he went into the house. The sunshine and fresh air felt nice, you had to admit. When he returned, he carried a little bundle; the baby blanket Mrs. Munoz knitted, with Ellie’s little face barely peeking out.

“ELLIE!” Joy and sunshine filled your heart again, and suddenly nothing else matter than the fact your daughter lived. Ecstatic, you dash towards her as all the pain of earlier seeming long gone in your desperate need for her, but Joel wouldn’t let you have it just yet. He moved her out from his firm grasp, still holding her but seemingly threatening to drop her. “JOEL NO!”

“She’s safe, little one, don’t you worry… as long as you behave.” He went back to rocking her, a soft expression as he looked at his daughter.

“H-how is she alive? She didn’t feed, I thought- I thought she was dead!”

“You really think I’d let my daughter starve?” His voice was condescending, a slight scoff at the end. “C’mon now, you can’t be that stupid. I know there's not a lot going on in that bimbo housewife brain of yours but I thought you had a little more faith in you than this.” He was… he was laughing at you. All the things he did to you, all the things he’s said… why did this hurt so bad? Joel never called you stupid before… and didn’t he… he threatened to hurt her just a moment ago, didn’t he? Or did he? Maybe you were reading into it too much…

“I’m not… I’m not stupid.” Defensively, you spoke but your eyes remained on your daughter.

“Oh, of course not, sweet girl, of course not.” Was he making fun of you? Why were the other men chuckling? “But I had a plan incase you couldn’t produce milk. I’ve got a freezer full of breast milk from other women, and even some formula. It’s expired but, it’ll do in a pinch.”

As relieved as you were about Ellie living, guilt punched at you. “You… Joel, you took milk away from hungry babies?”

Joel rolled his eyes. “No, of course not. Mrs. Little Feather was producing an abundance so I paid her well for a stash, just in case. I’ll always protect my family” He turned to one of the men and nodded.

Tommy was pushed out the house, hands bound behind him and he was shoved to the ground.

“TOMMY!” But you didn’t dare move, not when Joel had Ellie.

“Honey, fuck, I’m sorry, I-” He was cut off by Joel kicking him in the stomach. Tommy’s left hand was bandaged up from the stabbing. 

But Tommy’s reveal wasn’t even the worst. Out of the house came  Zach and Lorenzo, bound and gagged, quickly followed by the biggest shock yet. June. It had been a whole year since you’d seen her, never even saying goodbye when you were ripped away from your family. The four of them knelt on the ground, hands tied behind their backs, Lorenzo and Zach at one end of the yard, Tommy and June behind them. Joel shoved you towards Zach and Lorenzo, the guards taking off their mouth gags.

Zach yelled your name. “Run!” But Lorenzo knew better. Lorenzo knew there was no running from Joel, and there was no leaving Ellie behind. You stumble towards them, taking them in your arms. Joel was going to kill them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry…” You sob, knowing this was because of you.

“Sweetheart.” Lorenzo’s voice called to you, oddly calm given the circumstances. “Sweetheart, look at me.” He waited until you looked him, Lorenzo’s large, brown, droopy eyes calming you the way they always did. “It’s okay. Zach and I… we’ve already made peace with this. It’s gonna be okay.”

“No it’s not!” You protest. “He’s gonna kill you both we will have NOTHING!”

Zach. “You’ll have Dolli.” You look to your big brother. “And I know it’s hard, and I know it’s shit right now, honey it’s shit, but you can’t leave her with Joel, okay? So you gotta do this. Think of mom, think of all she did so we could survive.”

A fresh bout of tears. You sniffle, smelling the grass and the dirt and the filth surrounding you. “But I can’t.” You sob violently. You can’t do this without help, you never could. 

“You can-”

“I’m not strong!”

Lorenzo. “You’ve already been strong, always. You survived a lifetime of hell and you put up a hell of a fight, again and again. You’re gonna raise Dolly to be strong like you, okay?”

Ellie. Ellie needed you. Nothing else mattered but her. “Her name… her name Ellie. Joel chose Dolly, I chose Ellie June.”

Zach smiled. “Ellie June. I love it.”

“Your goddaughter, Zach.”

He nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise. We both will.”

Joel steps up, still holding Ellie close to his chest with his left hand. “Alright, ‘nuff talk’n”

“No, Joel, please!” You desperately cling to your brothers, a feeble attempt to save their lives when you feel yourself being picked up by familiar arms; Tommy wrapped a strong arm around your middle pulling you away. “TOMMY LET ME GO!”

Kicking, screaming, fighting, you try to pull off him but your legs dangle, treading air.

“Joel.” Tommy called to his brother. “Dolly’s ears.” He referenced the baby in his arms as Joel pulled out the gun.

“There’s a silencer.”

Horror and anguish as you cry for your family, Lorenzo and Zach both mouthing that they loved you although you couldn’t hear a sound anymore, except the sharp eeeeee and muffled voices. The panic had set it.

Lorenzo and Zach come closer together, their bound up finger intertwining together. Joel strides up the the couple, covers Ellie’s ears with his hand and chest and-

BANG! BANG!

Zach and Lorenzo’s bodies felt limp to the ground, and you didn’t have it in you to scream any more. You went into shock, freezing up and zoning out, only barely aware of Joel comforting Ellie as she cried; no doubt startled from the shooting and commotion. 

Joel spoke to his men, but you weren’t sure what he said… the only thing in your sights was your dead family and he thought that June and Tommy were probably next…wait, when was Tommy untied?

Joel hand grabbed your face and you heard a faint ‘Joel, stop’ but he didn’t. It was the middle of the sentence before you started to understand again. “-are both dead now. Jack is dead, Maura is dead. But her,” He pointed his gun at June, stepping towards her. “She’s alive. Zach tried to take her, thinking it’d save her. Look what good that did huh?”

You couldn’t speak, but Tommy did. “C’mon, man, she’s got nothing to do with this, don’t kill her.”

“Well Thomas, I’m glad you care so much, that’ll make the next part easier.”

“What are you-”

Joel ignored him. “Set her down.” Tommy did. You wobbled a bit but got to your feet, trying to concentrate on behaving… Zach was right, you needed to do this for Ellie. He walked back to you. “See how easily he listens to me? Like a guard dog. Tommy always was good at following orders.” He looked too Tommy again. “Take three steps back.” Tommy did. “Spin around” Tommy rolled his eyes, but did. “Shake you butt”

“Joel-”

“Do it Tommy”

Tommy did, looking humiliated in the process he wiggled his hips.

“Oh come ooooon” Joel laughs. “Put on a show”

“This is humiliating”

“THAT’S THE POINT!” 

You wince at the outburst, wanting to hold Ellie so painfully bad… her little nose was getting runny from the cold, even with a little hat on.

Joel raised the gun to Ellie, and Tommy immidietly complied, shouting at him to knock it off. Jaw set tight, Tommy bent over and stuck out his butt, shaking it to the chuckles of the other men. Tommy fucking Miller, Joel’s previous right hand man. Feared leader, reduced to this indignity… You looked over to June, still bound and gagged and on her knees, looking utterly confused.

“Good job, Tommy” Joel turned back to you. “See how easy it was for Tommy to listen to me? Always been like that, following me around like a lost puppy, desperate for my approval… you know why I untied his hands, little one?” He didn’t wait for your answer. “Because I need you to know he watched. He watched me kill your brother and Lorenzo, he held you back while he watch. He watched me take you, he watched me fuck you on the table, he watched me brand you, and if he had been here last week he would’ve watched as I hung you.”

The whimper from your mouth at the memory is pathetic, but you keep your mouth shut as your eyes cry. 

Joel perked up. It was like a shift, that dramatic change in his personalities that was so hard to keep up with. “So here’s my vision! It’s gonna take a while until we can all trust each other but I want us to all be a family.” He nudged his gun, and one of the men moved to June. Joel must have planned this all out, orchestrated it… He gave the gun to his man, and yanked down June’s gag. It was clear she had been crying heavily, but would not give Joel the dignity of begging for her life. June was strong like that. Sweet, kindhearted; a soft person who was undeniably stubborn. “Beautiful thing, aren’t you. Gonna make such a pretty wife.”

June was too proud to beg, but you’d been long suffering indigities. You had no pride left. “No, no, no, no, no JOEL! Don’t do this, I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Relax, bebita.” He laughed at you. “She’s not for me. You’re the only one for me, you know that right? You gave me my daughter back, you’ll always be my wife, no matter what.”

You were more confused than ever; a cooling breeze rustled your skirt, making you realize just how damn sweaty you’d gotten during all this. “Then what-”

Joel took the collar of June’s shirt, dragging her towards Tommy and throwing her at him as she squeaked in shock. Although he caught her, diving towards her falling body and preventing it from hitting the ground Tommy looked as confused as you did.

“I don’t want-”

“She’s your wife now”

“JOEL!” He held her and June clung to him. “This is insane, I don’t want a wife!”

Uninterested, Joel shrugged him off. “Fuck her, don’t, I don’t really care.” Joel strode towards you again but stopped to look over his shoulder at Tommy. “But knowing you, you probably will. Just a matter of whether you hold her down or not.”

Tommy, for all his weaknesses and flaws… you knew he was not that type of man.

“You and June will live in your old room. She can’t leave the room unsupervised until I say so” He turned to you. “Same with you, little one. But Tommy’s gonna watch you both. Know why?”

Finally, fucking finally, Joel handed you your daughter and you scooped her up, sobbing. “Hey baby, hi. Mommy’s here, yeah, mommy’s here now, it’s okay”

The sun was beginning to set, the shadows of the trees casting long over your dead family. “Because I’m choosing to spare his life, He owes me. And if we can all get along, no more run’n, no more fighting, no more ‘Joel stop!’” he mocked. “Then the 5 of us and whatever other children we’re blessed with can all live together as one big happy family.”

*

Joel sat you between his legs like you always used to after a bath, Ellie in both your arms as he nursed. “Knew you’d fuck up that room, little one. My brave girl. Always so strong, so resilient. You wanted to get to Dolly, didn’t you?”

“Yes” it was the truth, at least. You couldn’t help but feel comfort in Joel’s arms even now… what was wrong with you? Why were you like this? How had he broken you down this badly? “Just… just wanted to be with her…”

“I understand. She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“Absolutely perfect” and she was, Ellie was everything.

A knock on the door; Joel beckoned them in.

“Watch your fucking eyes.” He snapped at his man bringing you food and water, despite this very man having been there when you were raped in the kitchen… a little breastfeeding wouldn’t had much to the fantasies. 

When Ellie was done, fallen quickly asleep, Joel took her and laid her in her crib before doing what you knew was only inevitable. 

He laid down beside you, handings trailing you body, muttering about much he missed you, how much he missed your body. “My perfect girl…” In gentle whispers, he spoke praises into your mouth between kisses, hand trailing between your legs. You hated your body for responding to him, you hated the way he made you feel so good and you hated how you would kiss him hours after murdering your brother and friend… But Ellie. Ellie is what mattered. Ellie needed to be safe, she needed her mom, and she needed no more of her family dead. So, you kissed Joel. You kissed Joel the way you had kissed Tommy only earlier this week as he swore to you he’d be the father of the child in that crib. Your life with Tommy crumbled down before you, as did any chance of happiness.

“Joel, I haven't bathed in days…” 

“Don’t care, need you”

“Joel it huuurts” You begin to cry, despite knowing that only ever has turned him on more. “Please?” 4 days was not a lot of time to heal, the tearing still evident in you.

Pulling away, Joel looks at you, cupping your face with large, calloused hands. “We need to work together on this, little one. Give a little, get a little. For Dolly.”

Damn him. Damn him and the way he made your stomach burn, damn him and the way his touch felt so good and how you wanted to just be a happy family with him even now… And damn him for knowing how to use Ellie to manipulate you.

“Can we… can we do anal?”

The surprise was evident on his face, bed creaking as he sat up. “You’d prefer to take it in your ass instead of your pussy?”

As you gaze up at him, the concern on his face was clear… oh how he confused you. “I think it would hurt less.”

His features softened as you spoke, laying back down beside you to kiss your neck. “Just focus on my hand right now, sweet girl.” And you did. You did because you were a mess, you were disgusting, you were heartbroken and sad and lonely and you wanted Tommy but you had Joel and he had treated you well didn’t he? Maybe this was survivable… maybe. But you had to please him, and Joel always made you cum. Your pleasure turned him on… so you allowed yourself to sink into the swirling touch of Joel Miller’s fingers.

His touch was gentle but pressing and urgent; patience yet needy, as if making you cum would rebuild the bubble that he had built all those months… and it just might. Your cunt feel empty when it pulses around nothing but you are thankful you are able to get this wet, to orgasm still… The natural lubrication will help with taking his dick up your ass. When the climax was over, you took the chance to relax… it would hurt less if you relaxed.

“Roll over” He ordered, and you did as you were told before Joels straddled your thighs, hands rubbing up and down your mostly-clothes body. “Such a pretty girl… such a perfect girl, and all mine… I don’t care that Tommy fucked this sweet little pussy” Joel reached down to rub your swollen lips. “I don’t care. Once you’re healed up, I’m gonna cum inside you every goddamn day until you give me another baby, gonna fuck a baseball team into you.”

Of course he is. Of course. You wouldn’t expect nothing else from him; he wanted to keep you trapped with him forever… All the love you felt for Ellie was going to multiply tenfold, and you could never, ever leave with that many.

As Joel lined his cock up, swiping it up and down your asscrack and the crease of your thighs, you burry your face in the pillow. Joel wasn’t going to prep you at all, was he? He was going to just fuck you, rip you open and punish you-

“Oh little one… you’ve had a long day, haven't you? Yeah… You’ve been good, I’ll meet you halfway” Joel slid his cock between your plump thighs.

You lift your head off the pillow. “What? What are you doing?”

He began to pump, fucking your thighs and making the bed creak enough you made a mental note to ask Jack to oil it- fuck, Jack was dead, dead because he saw you trying to escape and took you back to Lorenzo. Dead because he went to get Zach to save his life… All of them ended up dead anyway. Jack, Maura, Lorenzo, and my dear brother who had only ever tried to help you. Now June was essentially Tommy’s wife just as you were Joel’s and although you trusted Tommy not to hurt her, she was in a house full of raiders… and Joel.

“Let it out, baby, let it out.” Joel cooed as he thrusted between your legss; one or twice he spit down between them to keep the lubrication going but it wasn’t long before he pulled out, jerking himself as he painted a picture of his cum on your ass and thighs. “Beautiful girl… beautiful.” The cum was like lotion as he rubbed it along you, rubbing your aching muscles… Did he love you? Truly?

When Joel leaves to boil water for the bath, you go to pick up Ellie. You needed her, needed her painfully. You wanted to make up for lost time in those four days she was gone, and away from you; she needed skin to skin, she needed love, she needed her mama’s voice… she needed you.

Joel could hear you from outside the door, peaking through the crack to watch you cuddle his daughter… you were a good mom. You loved Sarah like he did, you cared for her, you wanted the best for her. You just needed to learn, that’s all. Learn that Joel was the only man that mattered, learn that giving Sarah a family with siblings and two loving parents was more important than your own personal feelings. You simple needed to learn that Joel knew what’s best. He’d take care of you, take care of you like he always did; protecting you. He wouldn’t make the mistakes he made with Nick, Tommy, Lorenzo, Jack… Tommy would watch you while he was gone, but he knew Tommy, and Tommy was a simple man. Place a pretty girl in his bed, and it wouldn’t take long before they were fucking, and once Tommy fucked a girl, well… he latched on fast. Probably his mommy issues.

You were so sweet with Dolly, so careful, so attentive… even now, you sang to her and Joel thought this was the only sight he needed to see for the rest of his life: You, freshly fucked and beautiful with Dolly asleep in your arms as you sang.

What Joel didn’t know was your thoughts were consumed by your brother, dead outside with a gunshot in his head. Maybe you could ask him and Lorenzo to be buried together… it was the least you could do for your first protector… your soldier, your guardian who died in vain fighting for your safety after a lifetime of taking your beatings. 

“Leaves from the vine

Falling so slow

Like fragile tiny shells

Drifting in the foam

Little soldier boy

Come marching home

Brave soldier boy

Comes marching home”

The bath after sex felt exactly like it always had.

*******************

YEEEEEEEEEEEESH goodbye Zach and Lorenzo!!! my babies! my favorite couple! (im so sorry fen. I murdered your boy!) Also sorry angela buuuuuuuuuutttt you knew this was happening.

Honestly my heart aches for Zach. I have an older brother who was largly my protector in my childhood, my best friend for so long and I love him lots. Thats who zach is based off of for me but i dont wanna give a faceclaim bc I tryyyyyyy to make little one race inclusive (i know i didn't do perfect with the details of her bruisings but it can be hard) If any of my mutuals wanna see a pic Ill show you XD

Remember when I said taylor russle was June's faceclaim? I lied. I saw a picture of Alisha Boe and was like!!!!!! wait no thats her!!!! so now shes on this header.

JUNE AND TOMMY PLOT TWIST what do we think will happen there??? (June is canon bisexual, so dont let her marrying Maura in ghost of you series throw you off. She's the one who told little one all she really knew about sex.)

PLEASE LEMME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AND THEORIES!!!! RBS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO SPREAD WORK but I like you know what you guys are thinkig!!! what part was the hardest to read? what are your thoughts on how this goes? One june and tommy? the deaths of jack and maura as well as tommy and lorenzo? Joel suddenly being very condesending to little one and almost like a schoolyard bully to tommy? all this happening while holding ellie?

He kinda reminds me of Joe Goldberg in You lol carrying Henry around with him on his lil stalking trips

@pimosworld @rubyfruitjungle @moriartyyouwhore @k-ra @the-fox-den @jenna-ortega @alwaysmicado @lunar-ghoulie @ladynightingale @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @maura-honey @fandxmslxt69 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

#Joel Miller #Joel Miller smut #tw rape #dub con #non con #dark joel miller #romana after dark #dark!Joel #the last of us hbo #joel miller fic #joel miller reader #joel miller reade smut #dark joel miller reader #tommy miller fem reader #tommy miller smut #tommy miller fem!reader #the wrong way fic #the wrong way series #tommy miller

[hells-greatestdad]

Thoughts on a Neurodivergent Lucifer

I had already had a post about Luci being on the autism spectrum at one point, but I loooost it D:

Here are my thoughts! Once again! They will not be in-depth by any means! ANDDDD this is headcanon, with some canon influence/speculation!!!

Please note that mun themself is autistic!!

So!

Autism is a SPECTRUM. You have people like me, who are super awkward/socially weird/whatever as children, and when we grow up, we learn to compensate for most of it!! Which means that the older we get and the further into adulthood, the better we get at faking being "normal"! I myself work in the field of customer service and have for five whole years, which has taught me to blend in a lot better than before I had this job!! On the other hand, I have other autistic friends who CANNOT COMPENSATE or hide their differences even if they really want to!! The traits on the spectrum vary by A LOT, both in specific traits, and in intensity of the trait!!! As for Lucifer - he'd be a "level 1", which is the "mildest" form of autism! (Please note that autism and intellectual disability are not one in the same.)

Observations I've noticed in the show itself - Lucifer seems uncomfortable and very socially awkward around people he doesn't know, or when having to interact with lots of people. The whole of episode 5 is pretty much him being a socially awkward bb~ He is extremely awkward around the hotel when he first arrives, and he is visibly uncomfortable when Mimsy talks to him. Which kinda very much resonates with my lived experience tbh

Hyperfixations are actually a major part of the autism diagnostic criteria! Lucifer's rubber duck obsession, anyone?? (That said, it can also be a sign of just how bad his depression got.)

Heading more into straight-up headcanon territory - this one ties in with hyperfixation! I write Lucifer in my threads as being very very very prone to getting so very absorbed in his tasks that hours and hour can pass and when he eventually comes out of it, he suddenly realizes he's starving, he's exhausted, he's stiff all over from not moving, etc.

Lucifer doesn't know what autism even is, really, or that that is something he is or could be

#ooc #mun's thoughts #headcanons

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 50: Tristan Hates Horses, I Think

Been a while! Tumblr’s annoying as hell changes to the text editor took a lot of wind out of my sails, ngl. It had some problems they're resolving as they go, but it was really annoying to use and to edit if you write any amount of youknow……words….

And I was talking to a friend about this, and they were like “have you tried writing it in google docs and copy pasting it after?” And I happily realized when you copy paste from google docs, it also copies the PICTURES. This has literally saved hours of my life, y'all. It has turned something that was so frustrating I didn't want to open tumblr again into something that is no longer an obstacle so I can write once more!

So lets travel to Yugi’s brain, where Tristan desperately has to make up for all the work he hasn’t done because he was just a wee tiny bit possessed.

It may be hard to pick up where Tristan is on this picture, and I hope I recorded it somewhere in OBS like 2 months ago when I finished the series because it was such a funny animation, but hot damn this boy has hops.

And  you can see him there on the ground in the bottom left corner, that isn’t a rock, that’s Tristan having toppled a man with his bare hands, a man who had a sword and was sitting on an armored horse.

Can you believe this guy ran for school president? And then lost and humbly became the janitor?

Meanwhile, Joey discovered magic.

Confirmation that duel disks are made out of old tank parts.

Realizing for the first time that magic exists, they decide to peace out.

Back in the real world, Mokuba and Roland don’t know where the hell Seto went. Which is weird, I figured Seto would at least leave a note or a text message or…anything…but apparently even if he did, he just disappeared at some point down in Marik’s old living room.

So Roland and Mokuba decided that in order to find him, they would have to take a massive Boeing 747 to find their lost child.

Some kids have a motorcycle, some kids have a scooter, Mokuba just wants the most boring ass big commercial plane that is meant to sit a couple hundred people in an awkward way. That’s what Mokuba wants.

Just Mokuba things.

My bro who edits these for me wrote in huge ass letters "ROLAND SIGHTING" While saying "ROLAND ROLAND ROLAND" so I want y'all to know how much we appreciate a good Roland in this house.

Speaking of, I know it's like season 5 but...who is the other guy? He wears funny sunglasses but I have never heard his name, not once.

But this is when the plane was filled with heavenly light.

They begin to see the fight happening between Seto Kaiba (the OG Seto, the one that is cool and isn’t depressed because his not-wife died) and Bakura (who is now Zorc). Don’t ask me how the time stuff works, and why we see it now of all the times in human history, and right over Egypt in the sky. Don’t ask me why.

I assume it’s time compression shenanigans, just like FF8, so maybe it’s just every moment in time is able to see this UFO in the sky, but overall, it’s here because it looks cool. The fact that this right here is actually not a physical place, but is actually a figment of Yugi’s imagination shaped by Pharaoh’s botchy memories--is neither here nor there. Instead, it’s everywhere. 

Seto is unimpressed by this, because he knows how science and timelines should work, and this wouldn’t pass Kaiba Corp inspection.

Back at the yellow palace made of cheese and mario blocks, Pharaoh is still knocked out from that time he summed all 3 dragons last episode, which to me feels like just eons ago. 

But it’s OK, he’s fine now.

Typically he’d be dead, because his dragons died on the battlefield and their life force is connected to their monsters. But not only is Pharaoh 1.) already dead and 2.) the author of this universe and cannot die or this universe ceases to exist he’s 3.) got the puzzle, which means he can’t actually perma die, unlike everyone else in his court who is perma-gone.

He is not surprised by what is currently happening in Egypt’s downtown strip.

This is probably every day in Domino. Every day Seto Kaiba wakes up everyone in town with his three-headed dragon princess just because he can. Hell, Seto was doing this fight with Bakura on the top towers of Domino just this morning (or last morning…not sure if time passes in real life the same way it does in puzzle life)

The audacity of Yami right now, the one moment Yugi isn’t there to scream about ledges, this boy is leaping joyfully off that ledge. 

He fuses with the dragon which gives him this familiar outfit.

I thiiiiink it’s the same outfit as Alexander season? I’ll be real with you though, I don’t really want to look it up. Either way, good to see the return of putting on a ton of armor in a card game, I don't think we've seen it Canonically since that one time Joey did it against Valon, and ever since then, Joey kind of forgot it was a thing he can just do.

But unlike Joey, Yami doesn’t take the opportunity to punch Zorc in the face, instead he just loses yet another time.

This time he didn’t even pass out, he barely even died. This is progress, truly.

But as Zorc is powering up the peepee missile to fire in Yami’s face (what a way to die!), Shadi has decided to inform us why he’s been stalking these kids for this entire show.

So there’s two ways to read this. 1.) Shadi was Hassan the entire time but had to go back in time from this moment in order to do it or 2.) Shadi possessed the power of Hassan last second so Yami could avoid death one final time.

Both of these explanations don’t fully make sense to me, I’ll be honest, because in order to know that he’ll be needed in the first place, Shadi had to know that Yami would die at this particular moment--a moment that is a different timeline than has ever existed before.

So really, Shadi was just going by a hunch. He was like “I dunno, I’ll see how this goes.” which is more in line with the Shadi we know and love.

Is it a crying shame that Shadi, who has been with us for so many seasons, and it so integral to this show had such an unceremonious death? Yeah. I feel like I didn’t quite get the closure I wanted but I’m also sort of confused as to…what happened. But I’ll leave it there because apparently we get more Shadi content in Dark Side of Dimensions.

Anyway, I have no idea if these images will even fit into a post with how how tumbler does posts nowadays, and I'll be real I had to re upload the last bit of it, which I suspect was over 15 images???? Not sure??? but we found a workaround! google docs works!

Also, Seto didn’t die today! Instead it was Shadi! For a SECOND time!

I cannot believe how freakin lucky Mana is, this girl is still kicking and if Mana survives everything I am…going to be astonished, that’s what. Mana secretly OP, who knew?

And always you can read the rest of these here

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

if I turn it into a link it doesn't work right because the text editor is really, really bad. I hate it a lot. But uh...feel free to copy paste it until I can get links to cooperate.

#yugioh #photo recap #yugi muto #joey wheeler #seto kaiba #tristan taylor #ygo #bakura #yu gi oh #yami muto #S5 #Shadi

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

what are your expectations for the twilight reboot?

i don't know if i can envision a version of twilight that isn't cringe so i have zero expectations.

I have none either. I can make a few guesses but they could end up entirely wrong.

I believe the studio in charge of the reboot is Lionsgate Television, which among other things has co-produced shows like Mad Men, Dear White People, and several others. Notably, the parent company Lionsgate films produced the Hunger Games films.

What I'm getting at here is that this is a large subsidiary studio of a large well-established studio who has gotten their hands on a well-known IP that is primarily targeted to teenage/young women.

Specifically, they're not going to rock the boat. I expect the show to be marketed towards the audience of the books (young women/teenage girls) and not to a broader adult audience (see Mad Men).

More, given the books were so popular, they'll generally follow the plotline and try to tie into book moments they think audience members will like, but they will tone it down a lot. Much like the movies did.

Twilight will probably be kept entirely intact. We'll have the meadow, we'll have Bella nearly be crushed by a van, the blood testing in Biology, the Italian restaurant scene, the James subplot, etc.

However, details like Edward methodically planning the massacre of his biology classroom, will more than likely be dropped or else glossed over.

We're probably going to get an Edward who's palatable. He still has an aura of mysterious darkness, of course, but the audience can rest assured he's their sweet nerd and cinnamon roll and that the vampirism is just an unfortunate, if sexy, affliction.

We'll also likely get a Bella who's more talkative and takes more initiative. Not only does this address common complaints about the character, but it's very difficult to write a show where one of your main character rarely expresses herself out loud. (If you read the books, what Bella narrates versus what she says are two very different things.)

The movies addressed this in part by keeping the voice over narration for Bella with... uh... effect (I personally thought it was very poorly done and mostly hokey).

They might go the same route in the show, maybe Bella will intro each episode and outtro with a diary she writes in, "Dear Diary, today Edward stared at me, he was hot", or we'll get her voice over in pivotal scenes, or she's going to have to start talking to somebody about what she's feeling and thinking.

However, we'll probably get all the major plot points.

After Twilight, is where we might get changes.

It will probably take the film route and blame Edward's religious nature on his dad. They can't remove it, as Edward needs some reason to deny Bella becoming a vampire even when he and his family eat animals, and it can't be the spicy 'you'll probably eat humans anyway'. In the books what he said was Bella would lose her soul, Carlisle disagreed with this in a conversation with Bella. In the movies, they had Carlisle go all in as it ah--makes Edward look like the misguided product of his parents than it being him being religious himself.

Even though New Moon is hilarious in that the romantic lead disappears for an entire novel and Bella spends that novel hallucinating Edward, they're not going to drop it because of the importance of the Quileute characters as well as Jacob being the secondary love interest.

What they might try to do is spice it up and tone it down at the same time. Rather than be a complete depressed blob the entire novel, we might see Bella make significant recoveries to feed the Jacob/Bella side of the love triangle. We'll also probably spend a lot more time on the tribe both to flesh out the characters and to distract from the giant amount of nothing that happens in New Moon.

Bella may or may not hallucinate Edward. It was a large part of the novel, but it was weird, and never to be mentioned again when Eclipse happened. It's also not too fondly remembered by fans, even fans of the Edward/Bella ship. People remember the meadow and the wedding, not the time Bella rode a motorcycle with Edward saying "Don't dooooo iiiiiiiiit". It's entirely possible the producers would find it too spicy.

On the other hand, it's all we see of Edward of what could be half if not an entire season. Given he's the romantic lead that Bella ultimately ends up with, you can't have him on vacation for a fourth of the show.

So, 50/50 on Hallucination Edward.

Eclipse will probably remain mostly intact as well, as we get an exciting love triangle there, but they'll probably tone down Edward again. No longer will Edward kidnap Bella to his house, too spicy, instead he'll look sad and cuckolded as his girlfriend flirts with Jacob. The tent scene will probably be toned down quite a bit as well to remove some of Edward's more alarming statements.

Actually...

I expect all of Edward to always be toned down in every moment. I'm not sure what the hell they'll have him say, but it won't typically be what he says in the books in his more "WHOA" moments.

Now, Breaking Dawn is... interesting. On the one hand, they can squeeze a season out of it and if they're three seasons in and haven't been canceled yet then why not? On the other hand, it doesn't fit in with a typical teenage story that they want to draw people in for.

Bella's suddenly married??? And pregnant??? With a demon??? Their protagonists are out of high school, Bella's pregnant with a demon and dying, there's a war on and all these weird non-teenage people are showing up.

They could choose to end the show with the wedding. Bella and Edward get married, he promises to turn her, they ride off into the sunset.

On the other hand, there are fans who would murder them and cry tears of blood if they don't get the honeymoon/the rest of breaking dawn (even though fans simultaneously hate breaking dawn).

We could get a Breaking Dawn sans Renesmee. The Volturi instead accuse the Cullens of some crime they very clearly have not committed. Irina narks on them for a crime they didn't commit because she was secretly in love with Edward (her character having been merged with Tanya's) or else becuase she seeks revenge for Laurent and didn't act until now. Bella gets her wedding and honeymoon but has to be summoned back because shenanigans are happening again!

However, in that case, they have to figure out how to turn Bella since one of Edward's primary character traits (and one they can't really change as it would alter the entire plot) is that Edward doesn't want to turn her.) And they're going to want Edward to have to do it versus any other character, as it validates that Edward truly does wish to be with Bella forever.

There could be a subplot where Edward tries to hide Bella in the mountains when the Volturi are coming but Bella tells him, "No, Edward, this time we cannot run" despite, you know, the tent debacle weeks earlier where she said "Edward, we absolutely can run"

But again, I really don't know. I'm in the same boat as the rest of you.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #twilight tv show #meta #headcanon #opinion #achillean-heartbeat

[mistressoftherant-blog]

TMNT Crossover Fics and Trauma

Something I find really weird about some writers in the TMNT fandom is the absolute insistence that if a bunch of different iterations met up, they would all be horrified at what happened in Rise, being shocked that they've gone through such terrible things at their age, and then would coddle the living daylights out of the 18 boys after learning about their Krang/Shredder. Warning, spoilers ahead.

Don't get me wrong, the Rise boys do go through a lot of traumatising incidents at a young age, and if you consider the other turtles to be older than them when they meet they probably would try to help out. It's just, every iteration of the turtles goes through a lot of traumatising events at a young age, and most crossover fics just seem to sweep these under the rug to prioritise Rise.

I guess this is fine if Rise is your fave version and that's all you want to look at, but it always comes across as weird to me when you have characters from 12 for instance being like oh no, 'one of you got possessed and forced to fight the others, one of you got melded with a piece of tech, one of you almost got locked in a prison dimension, and your city was invaded by Krang, etc, I can't even imagine the suffering you have been through', when all of these things have happened to the 12 boys before, some even multiple times.

They've all been possessed/mind controlled and used against their brothers, Donnie merged with the Speed Demon, the Krang have invaded their city, their entire world was destroyed! Same with 03, they've been possessed/mind controlled, their city was taken over by the Demon Shredder (and Don saw the SAINW Shredder controlled world), they had to fight at least five Shredders, one of whom was also a demon, etc etc Also, as most of the other series ran for longer than Rise (trust me, I am also annoyed that we didn't get more of the 18 boys as 18 was the first show to properly get me into TMNT and I do love it), they also went through more traumatic events than the 18 boys.

Again, I am not trying to say that what the 18 boys went through isn't traumatic, because they definitely had a lot of bad stuff happen to them. But it does feel so weird to dimish everything that the other turtles went through when they were pretty much the same age as the Rise boys.

Take, Donnie: In 03 he's double mutated at least twice, tortured by an invasive mind probe that also electrocuted him, lost a friend to another dimension, got sent to an alternative future and learns that another of his friend and his father are dead before he watched his brothers get killed in front of him, believed himself to be responsible for the loss of his father and went through his own mini depression arc trying to cope with thlle guikt whilst working to bring him back, and that's all off the top of my head.

Poor 12 Donnie... he has died multiple times one of which was beinh literally torn apart on a molecular level by a possessed version of the girl he loves, has also been double mutated and/or possessed multiple times (not sure whether being turned into a vampire counts more as death or mutation), has immense guilt over a variety of things that aren't actually his fault (Leo's coma, when they thought Splinter died during the first invasion, everything that happened with Pulverizer), has also been tortured via electrocution to the head, spent an episode being beaten up by his mind controlled brothers only for them to be snapped out of it pizza, is constantly pressured to be able to fix/solve everything and is frequently told he isnt good enough etc etc

Again, these are examples for just 03 and 12 Donnie that come from the top of my head. Looking at other iterations and characters would make this post even longer than it already is, but I think the Donnie examples alone are enough to prove my point.

In conclusion, if you are writing a crossover fic with Rise as the central point of focus, that is completely fine! If you want to mainly prioritise looking at their trauma because the others are older than that is valid. I just wanted to point out that it can come across a little weirdly if you have some of the characters being completely horrified by the events of Rise, and acting like they could never even begin to understand what they have been through when they've all had similar trauma in their own pasts. Or when you have a bunch of characters being like, 'Oh you almost died, you are turning my scales grey', when they have all almost or actually died multiple times.

It's just a little funny to me for example to have any of the 12 sibling act like, 'I can't even imagine how much you must have suffered when you thought Leo was lost in the prison dimension' when their Donnie has legitimately been killed in a horrific way in front of them, their dad has been 'killed' in front of them multiple times, their own Leo pulls self sacrificial stunts, their entire world was destroyed in front of them, etc

This may just be me coming across as a little bitter but, if you are doing a crossover, it doesn't make sense to me why you would just ignore all the events of the other shows completely in order to make it sound like Rise had it the absolute worst. It seems like it would make more sense to have the characters relating to one another around shared or similar traumas 🤷‍♀️

#rottmnt #Tmnt #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2k12 #Tmnt2k03 #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt leonardo #Tmnt Leo #tmnt raphael #Tmnt raph #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

My weekly roundup CW 16

I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists and this is a good excuse for me to create a new OneNote journal!).

But first, my winner of the most hilarious subtitle of the week goes to:

→ 1. The Eighth Sense (ep 7+8)

Pain. Fuck man! The thing is, I can understand JaeWon so well. His pain that just made him numb. A person can only take so much pain before it powers down. One of the strangest and scariest feelings ever. And in a weird way, very comfortable in such situations. The body and mind trying to protect themselves. For JaeWon, the absolutely logical conclusion was to break off contact, to emotionally hurt JiHyun so that he would leave him alone, so that Jaewon's own heart wouldn't start bleeding again and again, even though it's been bleeding all along, only that he can't notice it himself anymore. But everyone can see it. And I hate EunJi for how she pretends to love him but just ignores how much he's suffering. That is not love, that is torture. And TaeHyung…the hate I feel for him is almost as much as the hate I have for EunJi. EunJi I can almost understand, but TaeHyung? He pretends to be JaeWon's friend and then can't forgive him for (deservedly) hitting him after making fun of JiHyun's accident. What the hell is wrong with him? Apparently he was just there to get rich off of JaeWon's background and was hoping for a good contact for future careers. Bright spot of the episode was JiHyun's friend who I just wanted to cuddle!

Absolute highlight of this week for me: The portrayal of light and dark of life and death. As many have already written about it, JiHyun came out of his near death experience with more confidence and courage, he is just bursting with life, while JaeWon died for him inside after the accident. How can he live happily or live at all when he is dragging everyone around him into the abyss. JaeWon is darkness, sadness, depression while JiHyun is the exact opposite and I hope JaeWon will reach out to him next week and let some light back into his life.

↑ 2. Our Dining Table (ep 3)

I just love it. This series is so calm and pleasant. It is the calming point of my week. Yutaka is such a precious and sweet person and I can totally understand Minoru falling in love with him. The idea of the zoo in the apartment! I was so ecstatic! And how Yutaka indirectly confesses that he likes Minoru too, but Minoru misunderstands and thinks Yutaka meant Tane with that statement. And Yutaka's luchbox looks just mega delicious! I'm always hungry when I watch the series 😅 Would love to make myself a rice ball now!

↑ 3. A Boss And A Babe (ep 8)

Okay, so Gun is really very obvious about the two of them. Even though I don't think much of office gossip and I wish them both all the luck in the world, he should know a little better. Nonetheless, I can so understand him reaching for his safe haven after Time attacked him like that. And I love that Cher has become his safe haven. And the scenes with the two of them are just sweet. I think Jack did something wrong with his lecture. A boss can have a happy relationship with an intern. Just because society doesn't think it's good or bad movies try to sell the stereotype of the little office chick, doesn't mean that two grown people in different positions can't be happy together. Of course an abuse of power can happen, but it doesn't here and Jack should see that. He should understand that not only Cher is good for Gun, but the other way around. But good, a little drama has to happen. The episode totally caught up with me again.

☼ 4. Step by Step (ep 1)

The first episode was very promising. I wish with all my heart that Pat would explode at some point and shut his colleague up. The preview for next week didn't look very pleasant, but that's what previews are, they want to captivate the viewer after all. I'm incredibly fond of Pat. I think he's one of those characters I can relate to quite well….a little yes man who doesn't know his limits yet. Saying no is hard, but over time you learn that it's no use trying to please people all the time. I liked the encounters in the café and how freely Pat can talk. I hope he stays as open and honest, just with a little more self-reflection and more courage to say no in the future.

↓ 5. Chains of Heart (ep 10 Final)

I still don't get it. So Din cooperated with the police and then in the end went on a solo destroyer trip where he didn't even get shot, although five men and one of them with a machine gun shot at him…The kid is made of Teflon or something, bullets just bounce off him. Then he has to kill Inpha too…Why? Why not wait for the police, who arrived shortly after! What really bothers me the most, after thinking about it a bit, is that there was not one clarifying conversation between Din and Ken. Just a one night stand. Once all desire washed out and then goodbye…And Din still says he has sworn never again to let go of the hand of his beloved. I don't get it. I would be so pissed if I were Ken. And the open ending with the 7th of the 7th month…Yeah sure, they will see each other again and have a nice life together, on the run or Din has taken the next identity. I just would have liked to see it, but as the series says, Din wasn't seen again by anyone. Okay, let's take it that way. Now the series is over and I'm trying not to let my slight disappointment with the ending affect my rating of the series as a whole. In general, I thought the series was quite good. It was visually appealing and I really liked Ken and Mr. Lues/Din's chemistry. It's funny how in the beginning we all felt like we were sitting there not knowing what exactly was actually happening. It was definitely a journey I really enjoyed, even if the ending was a bit disappointing. But sometimes it's not the destination that matters, but the journey. And that was good.

→ 6. Naked Dining (ep 2)

Futa realized that he had led a very self-centered life and had simply forgotten the promise he made to his grandmother as a child to travel with her to Mexico to see the ancient ruins, while she had not. That's why she wanted the culinary trip around the world. I find it very sad and incredibly beautiful at the same time. And Futa realizes that work is not everything in life and who would be better suited to accompany him in his change than his soulmate Mahori. Well, it's implied anyway that Mahori definitely believes in something like Soulmates and the flashbacks to the past are certainly meant to hint at something. I am curious and look forward to the next episode.

↑ 7. My Story (ep 2)

Sometimes the most beautiful thing you can see all week is two young men applying lotion and massaging each other.

Zeke and Fifth, both are clearly enjoying each other's touches and I think they realize they already like each other a bit. Absolute favorite couple of the series for me. I just love them. The series is good and cute and free on youtube, so check it out!

☼ 8. The Promise (ep 6)

It continues. While Phu rushed to his grandmother (without telling Nan, of course, but he was supposed to keep his distance anyway…) after she had a little accident, Nan wakes up from his anger. We also see what really happened that night, when in the previous flashbacks they always just kissed each other briefly. They didn't just kiss briefly, they kissed...long. Afterwards Nan, drunk as he was, fell asleep. Anyway, this time Nan travels after Phu and the two don't talk much, but Phu has a nightmare (and of course they sleep in the same bed) and begs Nan in the dream not to leave him. And Nan, quite enraptured by this, promises him not to go anywhere and I'm sitting here just thinking: awwwww!

☼ 9. Our Skyy 2 (ep 1+2)

Hm. I don't know. I don't know if it was the mystical time travel or the fact that Palm was a little too sweetly cute for me, but I didn't think the first two episodes were that good. I have no idea why they couldn't be together in the past, but now they've been sent back to change their future so they can stay together forever by undoing their curse? I just didn't understand what exactly caused their bad fate to be lifted now. But maybe it was just too sweet-talking for me. Palm has always been very corny in his choice of words, but he overdid it a bit in both episodes. I thought the ending was sweet, all good, but it probably won't be my favorite.

↓ 10. Bed Friend (ep 10 Final)

That was a sugar battle. I've rarely seen so much sweetness in one episode. *At this point I had to edit my text, because I was remembered that Uea is seeing a therapist and taking his meds...I just forgot about that, because it was handled very shortly. The love-heals-everything-part was still the focus.

In the end, it got a little too corny with the proposal in the office, so that everyone could see it. Now that wouldn't have worked anywhere else? I don't know. If King had chosen the place because it was important for their relationship, the place where they met or something like that, okay, but just so people could hide…I don't know. But I'm also sometimes a romance trumpet and can't watch things like this well without cringing.

→ 11. Tin Tem Jai (ep 8)

I somehow can't see them being a couple now. Except that Park is a bit nicer to Tin, I don't see any difference to before. They are hugging each other a little bit longer and Park calls Tin Babe, but I can't really see it. It could just be a brotherly relationship. And I don't mean that there is no kiss or anything like that, but they just don't have the vibes of a couple in love. And how old is Tin now? I'm so confused! And why do you have to turn a sweet scene into a drawn-out torture of the nerves, taking everything sweet out of it (a five-minute build-up until Park remembers that the password is Tin's birthday, an important date he can't forget, and then did forget…?).

→ 12. PastSenger (ep 7)

Oh man…this show just doesn't get any better. I love it when couples, once they get together, still act like every touch is too much or are surprised when they touch and get shy when it might come to a kiss. I really don't have much more to say about that. I also don't know what's going to happen for the remaining five episodes. The plot doesn't give much away at the moment, except that Kiao wants to go back to his time, and of course that becomes more and more difficult the more time passes and the deeper the relationship with Bamee goes. I don't have a plan how this is going to end. I think I'll put it on-hold for now until I eventually binge it. Currently, I don't feel like watching any more.

#josi watching bl #weekly update #weekly wrap up #sunday charts #the eighth sense #our dining table #a boss and a babe #step by step #chains of heart #naked dining #my story #the promise #our skyy 2 #bed friend #tin tem jai #past senger #bl drama #bl series #just my opinion

[deargodhelpmeaaa]

My attempt at an Adventure Time: Fiona and Cake finale rewrite (READ THE TAGS PLEASE this is not representative of my writing at all)

Requested by: @r0swells and @raidenfanclub

This is still an early (kind of rough) draft due to me not having more time to work on it, and I wanted it to be a surprise for the two people who requested it so I didn't get them to beta read and was a bit too embarrassed to ask anyone else to do so. Whatever the case, I tried my best. I referenced this post and this post, various clips of the original series and The Adventure Time Wiki to write this, so if I didn't get the characterization completely on point I apologize. I hope you enjoy this nonetheless.

Context: This is after Golbetty bricks the Lich. Due to the show having built up the Lich being “depressed” already I have to roll with it. I am merely “fixing” the episode where Simon speaks to Betty and not the stuff before it, since that was kind of the deal the people who requested this made. Only rewrite the last episode. We start this on the last frame after GOLBetty turns the lich into a lego.

(Simon steps back a little. GOLBetty looks at him and summons an avatar of Betty.)

Simon: Betty?

Betty: Yeah, it’s me. Well, an avatar of me, this isn’t my real body, but… yeah, this is me. I just figured I’d talk to you in a more familiar form to show you, yeah, hi, I’m still here. Also, at this size I can do this.

(Betty hugs Simon)

Simon: This is probably the worst possible time for us to meet again like this…

Betty: What do you mean?

Simon: It’s a long story… I made a promise to these two people I met, Fiona and Cake, who live in this pocket universe inside of my head, yeah, confusing I know.

Betty: Ha-ha, yeah, but so is everything that has happened this last… God, how many years….? It’s hard to tell when you’re spending all this time in a literal abyss.

Simon: You know, I stopped counting, too, but I’ll say this. You remember that boy Finn? He’s all grown up now.

Betty: Oh. That’s nice. Anyway, I’m sorry. Keep talking.

Simon: Right, right… where was I?

Betty: Pocket universe inside your head.

Simon: Yes, that! These two people wanted me to bring magic back to their world and I figured the only way to do that was to put the crown back on, so after a while I decided…

(Betty shakes her head and covers her mouth)

Simon: I just thought that my life is kind of worthless now that you’re gone. I don’t have any reason to keep living here as myself, so I can just… go back to being the Ice King and nothing will change. But, you know, before I do that we can-

(Scarab shows up and attempts to kill Simon only to be quickly pacified by Golb, turned into two mini scarabs)

Simon: What was that? He’s still crawling around.

Betty: He’s immortal. I can’t do the same thing to him that I did to the Lich just then.

(The scarab tries attacking simon and splits into two)

Simon: Well, couldn’t you do something a bit more convenient?

Betty: I panicked!

(Every time the scarab tries to hurt simon it duplicates. Betty and Simon try to keep them away from him, but they, through sheer force of will, they manage to all get into his head despite all they tried.)

Simon: Okay, now I really need to put the crown on.

(He puts it over his head)

Betty: Stop!

Simon: I need to help my friends.

Betty: And how is putting the crown on gonna help?

Simon: If magic returns to their world, I think they’ll have more of a fighting chance.

Betty: You think so?

(Simon is about to put the crown on and Betty stops him with her Golb powers.)

Betty: I’m sorry. I can’t let you do this.

Simon: I understand, but which matters more? Me or a whole universe?

(Betty doesn’t give in and keeps him paralyzed.)

Simon: Betty! Come on Betty, I need to help them.

(Then his phone starts ringing. She undoes her magic and lets Simon pick it up.)

Fiona: Simon!

Simon: Fiona! What’s happened? Is your world okay? Are you safe?

Fiona: Yes, no, some weird bugs that I think might have something to do with the scarab showed up, and yes. In that order.

Simon: I’m about to put the crown on to help you out.

Fiona: Don’t!

(Simon pauses, shocked.)

Fiona: We decided we don’t want that.

Simon: But without magic…

Fiona: Hey, I mean Cake’s pretty magic. She’ll help protect us.

Simon: Okay. Are you sure?

Fiona: Yes. One hundred percent sure.

Simon: Okay.

(Simon hangs up)

Simon (looking at the crown): So, I guess we don’t need this afterall.

(He throws it into the abyss)

Simon: I should not have done that. What if I do need it again.

Betty: You aren’t going to need it again.

Simon: You’re right. You know what, I have faith in them. They’ll be fine on their own.

(Betty sits down and pats the side of the block next to her for Simon to sit down, too)

Betty: So, that stuff about you thinking you didn’t matter now that I’m gone… what made you say that?

Simon: I mean, everyone else is doing just fine without me now.

Betty: There’s no way that can be true. Simon, look at those two people living inside your head you’re trying to save. You touched their lives. You touched mine.  And I’m sure there’s other lives you’ve touched too.

Simon: Marceline’s... And… now that I think of it, so, so many others, too. But what does it matter? That’s all in the past. And what does it matter if I still stay here even after all this? What am I going to do from there?

Betty: You’re gonna keep on living, Simon. That’s what you’re gonna do.

Simon: Oh.

Betty: Okay, I’m really bugged right now. There has to be something I can do to help out whatever’s going on inside your head. What’s that immortal being even want?

Simon: He wants to destroy the world in there. That’s why he tried to kill me just then.

Betty: Oh! I actually can do something to help with that.

(she gives him the little thing representing Fiona’s entire world)

Simon: What is this?

Betty: Put it into your head, it should help you.

Simon: Okay… let me make sure it doesn’t get into the wrong hands.

(He calls Fiona)

Fiona: Hi, I’m kind of in the middle of the apocalypse right now.

Simon: Fiona, check for the nearest portal, I’m going to give you something that GOLBetty gave me. She said it will help save your world.

Fiona: Well, there’s only one portal here left and I’m right next to it. Hurry, Simon!

(Simon gives it to her through his head portal)

Fiona: I got it.

(Fiona hangs up and Simon returns his focus to Betty)

Simon: So, Betty… it looks like we can finally just focus on each other now. Is there anything else you want to say to me?

Betty: So much I want to say, but so little I can say. It’s hard to talk about these things when it gets you all choked up.

Simon: I agree. 

Betty: So why let our words do the talking here?

(she kisses Simon)

Simon: I’m realizing something, actually.

Betty: Yeah?

Simon: I think we’re similar in a weird way. We both think of each other as everything in the world. Literally everything. I mean, you kind of almost chose me over a whole universe. Admittedly, that was the right choice, but we didn’t know that at the time. And I’m over here thinking that my life is nothing now that you aren’t in it, which is wrong even now. And, I can say this with full certainty: you’re not nothing without me either.

Betty: That’s true; I’m fused with the embodiment of chaos now. That does make me something.

Simon: That’s not what I mean.

Betty: I’m joking, I’m sorry, dark joke. I guess I am kind of something without you. I just spent a lot of time on you that I didn’t spend much time on myself, so I couldn’t see that.

Simon: There’s something wrong with us.

Betty: Who cares if it was right or wrong? It’s behind us and all we can do now is look forward. You still have some years ahead of you. Now go ahead… you can go back home.

Simon: Thanks for everything, Betty. Goodbye.

(then it ends with her sending him back like she did in the episode and he wakes up in the flower field)

#adventure time fiona and cake #adventure time: fionna & cake #fiona campbell #betty grof #simon petrikov #golbetty #betty golb #simon and betty #simon x betty #the scarab #scarab adventure time #the lich #adventure time spoilers #adventure time #feel free to use this as a basis for your own rewrite #it is still pretty rough #also the pacing is a bit fast

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 22 - The Giant Ploomers (part 1)

Very glad to report that I am writing this liveblog from my pc yet again.

It's so nice to see him doing some actual work, instead of just Fucking Around.

Kittyyyyy.

I know that it's cartoon logic, and all, but like... It's so unserious that she is made fun of for this to me.

If I saw these in real life, I would think, "these people have a REALLY weird carpet that's made from the same fabric as underwear. And that's okay."

A kids cartoon being unrealistic. Smh, smh...

Guy who just realized he admitted to a weird fucking thing that most people would NOT understand. Including me. Because I don't understand.

Also, this entire moment is a Certified Kerubim Face Journey by far. There are like 20 different expressions here.

He is so... weird. And I both detest and love him for it.

Coward Simone vs. Joris, the bravest warrior of the World of Twelve.

Lou's birthday is somewhere in the summer. Quite funny, considering Joris's is in winter. That's two characters we can pinpoint (though, I wouldn't call "knowing the exact date of Joris's birth" pinpointing, but I digress.)

For some reason, I have so many Emotions about this goddamned tower being a reoccurring location for Lou and Kerubim.

It's a nice little spot, yeah, but through being a nice little spot, it gained ~emotional significance~

(Guy who thinks a lot voice)

I like it that Kerubim even as a young little boy has unrestricted access to huppermage materials that he's probably read. Bit of a win for the "Kerubim studied necromancy" truthers among us.

His ideas of gifts are "skull" and "spellbook"

Ouughughgh (keels over) do you think he chooses gifts for Joris's birthday like that too.

This spellbook is so cringe for immediately falling apart in his paws. What if I wanted to see Kerubim interact with Forbidden Materials, hm?

Cats are Liquid is an indie 2D platformer game from 2015, it is about depression, and it is available for free on Google Play.

I know it's very obvious, especially with bands being a thing, but records are a thing in the World of Twelve. Which is cool.

...God, you have no idea how hard it is not to use this moment to plug my character playlists for Kerubim, Joris, and Atcham.

This you?

This you?

This you - this you - this you?

Anyway, hot take, but:

I think this episode takes place before Dance Against Boowolves due to him becoming a bit okay with girly things in it.

Next time you say that Atom is the first nonbinary character in Krosmoz, remember Kerubim. You're making her sad.

If someone did this to me, ripping this shit off instead of peeling them slowly and gently, I would do unspeakable evils onto them.

She is a very patient and gentle soul for simply beating them up.

A fate worse than death, Keke. A fate worse than death.

#ro liveblogs dofus #krosmoz #wakfu #dofus #ep22

[freakywizard]

hiii r&m anon here again!!! i noticed you mentioned liking season 7, so i was wondering if you had any favorite or least favourite episodes, plotlines, all that jazz. season 7 debrief, if you will. would love to hear your thoughts!

ram anon gracing my inbox once again (always a pleasure)

huge rant below the cut (talking about rick and morty triggers the longwinded newspaper art critic in me sorry)

s7e2 and e4 were the best episodes in my opinion. absurd, darkly funny, overall just so perfect. i was especially excited about s7e2 since the rick/jerry dynamic has intrigued me since episode s3e5. i love that that episode basically just confirmed Rick and Jerry may be foils but are also perfect complements? they can only understand / appreciate each other when they are literally existing in each other's flesh? i try not to wax poetic about ram but this episode was tempting meeeee

and re: e4, i think this show's writing is at its best when the writers come up with a stupid concept and treat it seriously. i love that this episode saw the concept of 'what if corpse spaghetti' through to the end. classic dark comedy, absurd, wacky goodness. lovee it

one thing i do hate about this season (as well as seasons 5 and 6) is the number of callbacks to 'old' rick and morty. s7e3 and s7e8 were some of the worst episodes this season, mostly because they just reused old plotlines and developed them in the least interesting ways possible, imo. did the mid gag from s3e5 really need its own episode? it really did not. i think that this is one of the worst consequences of the show becoming less episodic and more serialized - the writers just endlessly milk the early seasons to recycle into plotlines, one-off gags, whatever. the self-referentiality and meta humor of newer seasons will always, always grind my gears severely.

also, s7e7 was almost unwatchable. it reminded me of s6e2 in all the worst ways - just dedicating an entire episode to a SINGLE movie reference, doubling down on the singular reference as the episode drags on. god that episode sucked. so boring, annoying, unfunny.

i have extremely mixed feelings on s7e5. On the one hand, I'm still annoyed that the backstory from s3e1 is even canon, and Rick is yet another entry in the long tradition of flawed male protagonists turned into a nihilistic depressed shitshow by the death of a wife. it's such a pat trope, imo.

HOWEVER, i really like how this episode developed Rick. I'll always be a fan of ruthlessness and revenge plotlines, so im biased. but i've come to appreciate Rick Prime as a villain, as a testament to how much Rick hates himself -- there's a version of himself out there that would torture himself across the universe by killing off his own loved ones, just to try to prove his own superiority? it's all very mindfucky but im super into it. Rick C137 killing Prime with his fists, all while Prime goads him? it was such a cool scene. i love when the show does selfcest

i also still have mixed feelings on the evil morty and his growing prominence in the series. it was nice when he was just a little treat, but it became clear in s4 the writers were aware of fan expectations for the character. i can't help but wonder if that's shaped the way they're writing him, especially giving him the centralized role in the story of possible-future-final-antagonist? that being said i've always liked evil morty, he's a fun character to watch on screen. although i'm extremely cautious of my enjoyment. he's already starting to feel like a fanfic rip-off of himself a little bit (that one line where he said 'well, they don't call me good morty' was so bizarre. evil morty was the fandom name for him, and the writers adopted it and made it a diegetic epithet for the character???????)

s7e10 was refreshing after a long season of Morty getting sidelined. I love how this one starts with a classic rick and morty set-up (what if *weird thing* in *random place*) but turns it into existential horror? really cool. i don't think it was the most subtle way to do morty character development, but it was interesting enough that i was invested. also, rick pinning morty's picture to the pinboard. so good

overall my reaction to this season is 'we're so back.' it was LEAGUES better than s5-6, which i think are like the ram dark ages. i don't think s7 was the best season yet (as some are suggesting) but I think that this season marks a positive turn for the quality of writing in the show.!!

here's my episode ranking in ( i mostly did this for fun)

E2

E5

E4

E10

E6

E1

E3

E9

E7

E8

Basically, e7 and e8 were irredeemably terrible. e9, e3, and e1 were mid/fine. e6, e10, e4, e5, and e2 were all varying degrees of peak rick and morty.

other mics. thoughts:

i felt like there was a lot of long, no dialogue, sad music montages that felt like references to the famous scene from s4e8? the one from s7e4 comes to mind immediately. but there were another few sprinkled in

s7e3 rick telling a scientologist "worship how you want" ??? he would not say that. who let that slide in the writing room?

the fight scenes and gore were all really well animated!! since s3 the animation has only gotten better and i love the gore

i actually love the new VAs. they're different from roiland, obviously, but i honestly think they're both doing a better job. the performances are more naturalistic, and less grating? i thought the change would weird me out, but it's subtle, and i like it

Rick canonically bad at eating pussy in his youth

#thank you for sending this ask ram anon i love feeling my brain melt #sometimes rick and morty eletrochemically neutralizes something in my brain and it sends me into a frothy mouthed coma where i cant stop- #-thinking or talking about it. so #i also happen to be a big fan of yapping #^_^ #im having thoughts of restarting my ram sideblog #lex answers

[aflamethatneverdies]

top 10 comfort shows

thank you @sainteverge for tagging me xD i don't think i have 10 though. I need to find more comfort shows.

Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger: it's sentai, it's for selling toys to 5 year olds, it's an anniversary season, it's also still the best sentai season imo made with a lot of heart and one i watch over and over again. and also write fic for. pirates fighting against an Empire and in a polycule too, what more do i want. lies, i want more. but for now i settle for rewatching over and over. it's also really good during depressive episodes because it isn't complicated to understand and be emotionally invested in. i've used it to get through depressive swings this year lol.

Revolutionary girl utena: this show- y'all. i'm still in the haze from how good this show is and i have thoughts, so many thoughts but so many of the rambly variety and i've already started rewatching and just, this show is so good. soo soo good.

Natsume Yuujinchou: a slice of life anime about seeing youkai but really about being ostracised and shunned and about being weird and not feeling fully human and finding community with other weirdos. i really love its calm pace in certain moods, i love the characters and i want to know everything about Reiko. when will the seventh season come out, my crops are dying.

Black Sails: I've watched it twice, both times got something new out of it to chew on. It's a well plotted, well paced show and I can rewatch it again tbh.

Granada Holmes: It's Sherlock Holmes, it's Watson. It's got good acting. It's got a great read on the characters as they exist in the books. 'nuff said.

Shoujo Cosette: i don't think it needs a lot of explanation. It has a lot of rewatch potential and ability to wreck you during Fantine's scenes. It's good.

tagging @pilferingapples @lemeute @bodhimcbodeface and anyone else who wants to do this, really.

#personal #memes

[kaeyahiya]

"Crossroads"

Kaedehara Kazuha x (GN) Reader [platonic]

-------- ••• ------- ✧ °✧° ✧ -------- ••• -------

Pairing: Kaedehara Kazuha x (GN) Reader

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, platonic friendship, implied depressive episode, mentions of feeling directionless, hurt/comfort, aka angst with a semi happy ending

Word count: 916

Authors note: Hi I'm writing this as another ✨ self-indulgent fic ✨ however I hope this can also provide solace for anyone else who is at a weird crossroads in their life. This is all over the place, I just needed to put this out. If not for me then for someone else. I see you and I feel you. You aren't alone ❤️ I choose Kazuha specifically bc of that fucking line he has when it rains. It always strikes a chord in me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy or find some peace here.

-------- ••• ------- ✧ °✧° ✧ -------- ••• -------

Kaedehara Kazuha has always been someone you turned to in times of crisis. When the Vision Hunt Degree was issued and he went with Captain Beidou to Liuye to collect the travelers help, you felt at odds with yourself. He has a knack for knowing just what to say when you need it most.

After the Traveler helped abolish the Vision Hunt Degree. You stood at a crossroads in your life. You had returned from Mondstat after having the opportunity to study under The acting Grand Master Jean. As a budding tactician, she was an excellent mentor. Kazuha was the one who encouraged you to go, stating 'you'd be foolish not to', so you did. You learned so much there, made so many new friends, and got to experience many different things.

After a few months you came back to Inazuma. You felt like a new person! You even secured a position under one of the best tacticians in Inazuma, Sangonomiya Kokomi. Things were great... At least for a few months. Until you fell back into a routine, where day in and day out felt the same. Again you were at that crossroad.

You felt almost depressed, as if all the struggle and growth you made abroad meant nothing now. You felt the same as you did before you left. You find your days filled with work and sleep, repeat. The few enjoyments you got were getting letters from friends in Mondstat, and seeing your friends back home.

After a particularly long day you found yourself at Ritou Harbor, a bottle in your hand as you stared out at the endless ocean on the horizon. "You seem to be troubled about something." Kazuha's gentle voice observes behind you. You crane your neck to look at him. As he walks over and seats himself next to you at the edge of the harbor.

"Hey Kazuha... When did you get back?" You ask not wanting to discuss the issue at hand. "Only a few hours ago. Captain Beidou is docking here for a few days." You hum in acknowledgement. "I thought I'd find you elsewhere, but Lady Ayaka informed me who was told by Miss Kokomi you'd be in the area for a couple days on personal business." You nod again." This doesn't seem like business." He gestures to the bottle in your hand. "It's personal though." You laugh bitterly, placing the bottle down.

You place your head in your hands. "Kazuha, I don't know what to do." He smiles almost knowingly. "What seems to be the issue my friend?" You sigh. "I'm unhappy. All the stars that once aligned for me seem out of place now. I know I set this plath for myself and even though I've made progress I feel like I'm still stuck at the starting line..." You heave back a sob you can feel coming on. "I wish I was back in Mondstat. I wish I was anywhere but here you know?" He chuckles. " All too well, it's suffocating isn't it? Being in one place for too long." He muses. "However, as you said so yourself you made a path for yourself. Miss Kokomi seems to be very pleased with the work you're doing as well." You shrug. "I know but... I don't know Kazuha... I'm still unhappy. Sometimes I wonder if I should just become a wanderer like you. It's not like I don't have friends I can stay with or meet elsewhere..."

You gaze back out at the ocean and Kazuha joins you." Is that truly what you want? " You snap your head to look at him in confusion. " As simple as it sounds, being a wanderer means you have nothing. You travel from place to place, sometimes in the worst condition. Unsure if you'll even have a place to sleep safely or have food to eat. I'm at the will of Captain Beidou's schedule because I myself cannot operate a boat or run a crew myself." Kazuha smiles out at the ocean sadly. "Sure the traveling is nice but even I sometimes find myself stuck in a loop."

You're quiet for a long time before finally asking Kazuha the question you find yourself always asking him. " What should I do? '' Tears spilled from the corners of your eyes. " Continue on your path. Though the road ahead is unclear, and may be tumultuous and foggy at times, eventually you'll find yourself exactly where you're supposed to be. " "And if I don't?" "You find a new path." You laugh through the tears. " You're a strong person. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. The people around you see it but you don't, at least not yet. " He closes his eyes peacefully. " I have a hunch eventually you will. "

A few more tears spill from your eyes as you gaze back at the ocean. The sun was setting and the view was gorgeous, the ocean looked as if it was a sparkling gemstone surrounded by the vast orange sky. "I don't know how you do that." You finally say. Kazuha cocks his head to the side." Do what? " He inquired. " Know how to fix me. " You sigh before tossing him a grin. "What are friends for if not to lift each other up!" He grins back. "I promise Kazuha, one day I'll pay you back for all the wisdom and advice you give me." He simply smiles and stands offering you a hand. "No need. Just keep being you, that's all I ask."

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#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #my writing #kadehara kazuha #kadehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha

[mean-and-rwde]

TW: suicide

Personal feelings rant about the recent episode.

If I saw this sort of episode content not even a few months ago (ESPECIALLY without a PROPER fucking warning), it would have honestly destroyed me. I was not in a good place then, and seeing how CRWBY has yet again written suicide like a good thing / solution / etc...

If they're gonna insist on writing such a heavy topic; one, they shouldn't treat it as a positive outcome; two, use a PROPER FUCKING trigger warning! Distressing themes could mean literally ANYTHING. And calling suicide a "distressing theme" is just. Awful. There's a way I'm trying to describe it, but basically, by simply calling it a distressing theme, it downplays how actually fucking serious and terrifying being / knowing someone who is suicidal.

I may not have cared much for Little, but on-screen animal death without warning? What the fuck. Not even gonna TALK about what the fuck was up with the cat and Neo. Holy fuck.

Add to all that the fact that WBY just stands there like "Oh no! Anyways, I can't do shit." and this is definitely the most insensitive writing of suicide yet. The fact that fucking YANG just STANDS THERE AND DOES NOTHING when she's Ruby's goddamn SISTER actually pisses me off.

I'm the older sibling, and let me just say that if I saw my brother depressed as fuck then outright suicidal, and I did nothing, I would literally take my own life if he were to actually do it and I just watched like :|

It brings back a thought I often had during that time: no one would care if I died, even if they saw me do it.

Which my family thankfully proved wrong, even if mom's solution was to drag my ass to the ER where they almost didn't let me go after one person talked to me for like 5 minutes when I'd been there for hours.

I can handle bloody stuff, but that's because the shows I watch often have such themes naturally. The disclaimer warning about disturbing content and the nature of said content makes the warning a lot clearer. You know you're likely gonna see some weird / fucked up shit.

RWBY isn't like that. Bloody on-screen injuries / deaths are not nearly as common. Clover's death was easily the most graphic.

Pyrrah and Penny's deaths were haunting, even if there was no blood. Penny's second death barely showed her - the only reason we know it happened is because we saw Jaune holding his sword, then there was some blood. Ironwood died as Atlas fell, without so much as taking one final shot at the main villian + Cinder. Pietro and Maria may as well be dead for all the fucks the show / mains give. I could go on, but you get the idea.

This has become a disturbing trend within the show, but this recent example has been the worst offender of not only the harmful idea that suicide is a solution / good thing, but also a vague trigger warning that does fuck all. Distressing themes does not warn of suicide, animal death, literal torture, whatever the fuck happened with Neo and the Curious Cat, etc.

I have not seen the episode(s) in question, and I don't think I will. In fact, I may drop the series altogether.

[End Rant]

#rwde #volume 9 #rwby critical #tw: suicide mention #tw: mentions of torture #tw: brief mention of animal death #Brief mention of gore #tw: vore #cant believe i had to put that one #but holy fuck #ew #volume 9 spoilers #i hate it here #what the fuuuuck #personal shit #personal rant #rant in tags