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#we're doing fine though everyone's healthy and happy
tetedurfarm · 1 year
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some wamen
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wannaeatramyeon · 10 months
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You hit the nail on the head! I‘ll ask for more professional assessment: honest opinion on Crystal?
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Following on from my ramblings about Sally Park. Oops! Edited to add in Zoe too.
Well written female characters in Lookism? Uhh...
When the bar is at an all time low, it's really not hard to step over it.
At this point, I've been pavloved to think that any female character that expresses a personality trait other than 'simp' is pretty good. Simp is fun when it's part of a list of characteristics (Zack, Ryuhei). Not so much when it's the only thing.
Long live PTJ, the greatest feminist. Anyway.
Female characters I like
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Mary Kim
Love her. Empress of 2 seconds. Queen of my heart.
Surprisingly kept a platonic relationship with Vin Jin, showing quite a healthy mixed gender friendship. Sassy and smart. Loyal. Good taste in men (Jace). Is shown having a life and interests outside of a man.
On my hands and knees praying that PTJ doesn't ruin her. Kinda glad she hasn't appeared in a while so she is kept away from his incessant need to turn everyone into a love interest.
Lua Im
Once we got over the odd Johan panels, which I heard the Korean audience didn't like and I'm quite happy about, she's fine. And it's not that I care that much about Johan staying a single dog-dad, I just needed a coherent reasoning/build up why they would be interested in one another.
Lua has potential.
Sourcing intel, even impressing the likes of Gun? A little Muay Thai knowledge? Jake and Jerry scared of her? Lol. Ok. Good. Let's build on this.
Just please don't white knight her.
Crystal Choi (meh)
And Ms. Choi, because anon specifically asked. I really don't mind her? I know she's meant to be anti-Lookism but still judges people based on their looks eh. That's fine. Pretty realistic actually. Whatever.
She can be a bit bitchy for no reason. So can I. Handwaving all that.
What I do take issue with though, is her so called title of Business Genius. Please show me the chapter where she actually does something to earn that title besides the one where other people ooh-ed and aah-ed over her in the meeting with DG.
Wow she's sooooo gorgeous. Ok good for her. If that's the route they're taking her character then at least OWN. THAT. SHIT. Use her beauty and looks to sign deals and get what she wants. GOOD. DO IT.
Zoe Park (also meh... Wait)
Sorry anon, I think 'really well written' is a bit of a reach... She does have some decent character development, starting as quite a flighty, shallow girl and then showing that she has a heart of gold, liking both Daniels and. Huh.
Wait. You're right. She is pretty well written. She's selfless and kind and loyal to her friends, putting up with Logan's bullshit. There's enough of a character arc for her from the Zoe we're introduced to at first.
And I do like that she's good at maths too.
Wasted potential
Minseong Kang (Jake's momma)
Appreciate this is the older generation and from a much more conservative culture. Saying that, I am so over the slighted and bitter housewife rotting at home while her big powerful husband cheats on her.
And then some sort of marriage redemption cos they pop out a kid. Whatever. (Sorry Jake bb, I love you).
If you were going to do that, give me the most toxic red flag shit where they are constantly at each other's THROATS. Show me how they are equals. Can't live with or without one another. That's the good kinda shit.
Leonn Lee
I just. What the fuck was this.
A girl in Burn Knuckles? A group that reeks of testerone and (positive) masculinity? Show us why she joined! Show us why she stays. SURPRISE. Main character trait?? Having a crush on Vasco.
She could have been SO interesting. And she obviously trains, why not get her to fight?
Hate for irrational reasons
Joy Hong
Listen, she's not really in enough or significant enough for me to really feel one way or another about her. BUT. The reason I HATE her is because I was trying to write a headcanon involving everyone and then I got to Joy and I was STUMPED.
Sub in a plank of wood, and it would have the same depth of personality.
Truly. Who is she apart from Jay's sister and a Daniel simp? At least everyone else has something.
Others
I don't really think about them. Sera Shin has potential I guess.
And of course a special mention to Daniel's momma. She's not exactly a unique character, but who doesn't love her?
LET. THEM. FIGHT.
Lastly. Why can't we see women fight? Like the men's fights are realistic LOL. Ultra instinct? Smashing through walls? So why are women fighting men outside the realms of this.
And yes yes. Men are SoOoOoOo strong. But can they take a kick to the balls?
Are you saying Gun Park has been training his dick and balls and would be able to eat a hit there? He wouldn't go down like a heap of shit??
HUH. TELL ME THAT.
In Summary
Mary by and large is pretty well written. Lua has improved.
I don't care much about anyone else.
And I wanna see Gun, Goo, Sammy, Vin etc. get kicked in the balls in a fight.
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differenteagletragedy · 4 months
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Hi, I was wondering if you would be comfortable doing headcanons of a adult (similar age to Cliff) mc x Cliff and mc becoming like a step-parent to Cove? Feel free to ignore if you’re not comfortable doing this, thanks
I am SO comfortable doing this, love Cliff so so much!
-- Cliff wouldn't date until Cove was out of the house, or at least in his later teen years. He felt SO BAD uprooting his life with the divorce, he wouldn't dare risk it to be selfish enough to get into a relationship.
-- The only way he WOULD get into a relationship with Cove still at home is if he had his express approval, and even then he wouldn't bring you around a lot at first. He's just going to be so incredibly cautious with Cove, he's his number one priority.
-- Anyway, all this means that Cliff is going to be mid to late 30s when you get together, hope that's cool :)
-- He wouldn't really be looking for a relationship either, so you're really gonna have to take the lead here at first. But listen -- he is going to be so sweet. You won't even believe it.
-- Maybe you're a friend of Pam or Noelani's, or maybe you meet him at his shop. You don't even have to be sporty like that, though you could be! You could also be looking for a gift for a sporty friend, taking a scuba lesson with someone, etc. etc. Anyway, you meet and he is smitten, but it has been A LONG TIME since he was in a relationship, and even then it wasn't a good one. And before that he was a teenager.
-- He made some mistakes in his marriage, some huge ones, but he learned from them, and he'd never ever repeat him.
-- Ok so this is going to be the slowest slow burn you have ever heard of in your life, but he is SO worth the wait.
-- This is because he's worried about hurting Cove, he's worried about not doing right by you, he thinks you deserve better than some guy who's never managed to maintain a healthy romantic relationship in his life. But he just likes you so much, and it's been forever since he's felt this way. It feels nice!
-- Put those moves on him, MC, you need to be really clear here that you like him and want to be with him because he's not going to move forward otherwise.
-- So we're talking like 2-3 months of just getting to know each other, more months of dating, like specifically going out. He might go back to your place, but it would have to be a while for him to feel comfortable with that. After several months of this, talking more and more, being more open about your feelings, then he can finally settle down a little bit and let you in more.
-- Still super slowly though. The first time Cliff invites you over to his house is when Cove is gone in the summer staying with Kyra, absolutely no chance of him walking in. He cooks you dinner. You don't stay the night, but maybe by the end of Cove's visit you do.
*someone please write the spicy interlude here, it would be so good*
-- This is when he might bring the topic up to Cove, when he's for sure this is a real thing that he wants very much to go somewhere very seriouus.
-- Cove would be older here, like I think baby Cove would have had an issue with Cliff dating, but at like 16, 17, he's fine with it. He wants his dad to be happy! Cliff would have told him about you sort of in passing, nothing in big detail, but he'd sit him down and explain that he has very deep feelings for you and ask if he'd like to meet you. Cove would be fine with this I think, but he'd probably want to have across the street bestie/significant other over.
-- Cliff cooks everyone dinner. You have heard so much about Cove. So, so much. You've seen pictures and videos. Cliff is the proudest dad that ever was, and tbh if you're going to be with him, you're going to have to love that. So you do! He's the biggest sweetheart you've ever met.
-- Things are a bit awkward, it is Cove after all, but they're ok. And so a while later, maybe after a few weeks, Cliff invites you over again.
-- This part goes on for a while too. You never stay over when Cove is there, and he never stays over at your place either, he wouldn't want to leave Cove alone like that. So after a while, Cove will sit him down and let him know that it's ok. Cliff doesn't have to hold back on his account. If he wants you to come over more often, that's fine. If he spends the night in the house alone every once in a while, that's fine too, he's a big boy and he's got moms across the street.
-- So really, either way you cut it, I don't think you'd ever live with Cliff while Cove is still at home. The timeline just wouldn't work out. But parenting doesn't end when a kid turns 18, and neither does good stepparenting! Once Cove moves out on his own and establishes himself, and Cliff is confident that his baby bird has fully left the nest, then there's going to be a shift.
-- Please come over more often, or invite him over, whatever, he just wants to be with you. He's been cautious for months/years, but he is so ridiculously in love with you.
-- He's not going to leave the house in Sunset Bird, so he'll ask you to move in with him. Please do! He'll think about marriage for a loooong time before finally proposing -- he'd never make those same mistakes that he made with Kyra, but you deserve the best and he needs to feel confident that he's it before taking that step.
-- What if you and Cliff give Cove a little baby sibling. Something to think about!
-- Cove is never going to treat you like he treats Cliff and Kyra, and that's fine. Especially as he gets older though, he's so grateful that you found his dad and found it in your heart to love him. It makes him so happy to know that even now that he's left home, Cliff still has someone there to take care of.
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xiaq · 11 months
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Why do feelings have to be so confusing???
I’ve never been super into labels, but if I had to choose I probably would have gone with aroace. I kind of figured I wouldn’t ever find someone I wanted to be in a relationship with and that was fine.
But now I’m 30 and somehow in a relationship for the very first time with this person that I love so much. And it’s wonderful and amazing in so many ways, but I also feel so crazy with it??
I feel like a teenager with their first crush but also too old for that and it’s like I don’t know how to trust myself in this because I’ve never felt anything close to this before.
Feeling romantic and sexual attraction for the first time there’s a part of me that’s like how has everyone been living like this the whole time??? It still doesn’t feel like it should be real somehow, even though I’m now experiencing it firsthand.
Anyway I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, but if you either advice or even just stories to make me feel a little less ridiculous, I’d love to hear them!
I think it's really REALLY important to remember that socially reinforced ideas of normalcy when it comes to exploring sexuality are not, actually, normal. A. Because people are people and what works for one person doesn't work for others. While there's obviously going to be a bell curve on the graph of "when do people typically sort out who they want to kiss (or not kiss) and start doing that" there is going to be a steady, not insignificant, number of folks that are on the upward and downward swing of that bell curve before you even get to the far outliers, and that's to be expected. B. Traditionally accepted timelines for building a sense of sexual identity don't apply anymore. The average age for (first) marriage is creeping back each year. In the US in 1900 it was 26 for men and 22 for women. Now it's 29 and 27 respectively. Women, especially, don't have nearly the pressure placed upon them that they used to to quickly find someone who will take care of them seeing as we can now open bank accounts and own property and work for (mostly) equal pay and all that jazz. So there's that to consider.
But also. Humans, human bodies, are never stagnant. You might have heard the fun factoid that all our cells are replaced every 7 years. That's not entirely accurate, but it's true that the body does regenerate skin and bone and liver and stomach, and so on, cells at a kind of mind-boggling rate. There are things that we're born with that don't change like some of the neurons in our cerebral cortex, I think, but as a species we are generally made to adapt to new experiences and environments so much so that our bodies are in a constant state of change themselves. You're just...doing what you're built to do. Something new has happened and you're adapting to it.
And yes, it can be scary and make you feel very vulnerable when you don't have historical relationship or sex-related context like other people your age might have, but that's when you get to lean on friends and/or talk to your therapist to make sure you're approaching things in a healthy way, there aren't red flags you're missing, etc. Because humans are also pack animals and we thrive in communities in which we can share each others burdens and wisdom.
As someone who also had built what I thought was a pretty clear assessment of my romantic and sexual identity over 29 years, only to have it challenged and rebuilt at 30, I fully empathize with the way you feel. But I leaned into the feelings of confusion (and frankly, giddiness, at times). Who says teenagers are the only ones that get to experience first crushes? Who says 30 is too old for self-discovery? You get to decide how you interact with the world. Who cares what other people are doing if what you're doing makes you happy and hurts no one.
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hillbillyoracle · 4 months
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I get why tradwife content is so appealing - but it's not for the reasons they think.
Some information upfront: I am trans (nonbinary - GNC), hormonally intersex, queer, and have been partnered with a trans woman for going on seven years. I became progressively disabled and eventually was not able to go to school or work. I slipped into the housespouse role, especially as I started to regain some measure of functioning. Even though it was never my goal to be in this role, especially not for this long, for the last several years I've helped run progressive spaces and resources for non-traditional homemakers.
I say all this to situate what I write next. Please note: once again, I use AMAB and AFAB because not everyone around me IDs with their AGAB but what I want to talk about here breaks down along AFAB and AMAB lines in my experience. Yours may differ.
I considered writing up this morning - my family's Christmas - as an example of the various kinds of normalized incompetency I see in the AMAB folks around me embodying but I imagine most people who are going to relate to what I'd say on any level have their own stories. I think we're reaching a point where even sharing examples for the purpose of teaching can be demoralizing because we really just wind up seeing how completely mundane AMAB obliviousness or even outright hostility is. I don't want to add to that. But picture a fairly stereotypical scene - my AMAB partner making us late, AFABs all doing the invisible labor of making it go smoothly (grabbing cups before full grown adults knocked them over, dealing with trash and tidying, sorting and organizing, noticing each other's feelings and tending to them, etc) while AMAB folks laughed about how little the knew about the presents that had been purchased and generally kicked back. That was my morning.
It's not an experience that seems that miserable on it's face. No one said anything cruel. No one got hit. None of us are sitting in an ER. We're alive. But you could look around the room and see how my sister and I especially were just fucking tired by the end of it. AFAB exhaustion is just the going rate for family holidays it seems.
At one point this morning, when I tried to voice my frustrations to my partner she flat out said to me "No one asked you to do that." People who've shared some of my experiences will get why that statement always stings without me having to say it. It's the ultimate get out of jail free card for her - you know you will still face the consequences if you didn't get that work done and now it won't even be appreciated or the cost to you considered. It can be genuinely heartbreaking to hear. Implicit in it is the expectation that you always have to ask for what you want and need - though you usually won't get it without also giving detailed instructions every single time making it easier to just do it yourself - with no amount of learning patterns or generally empathizing being necessary on their part. Problem solved I guess.
Which brings me to my opening statement. The appeal of tradwife content is in the idea that it is possible to be happy in a relationships in which your needs are not anticipated, desires are only rarely considered, and your emotions are not responded to.
And I know they would argue differently - that's fine - but I've watched people in my communities flirt with the ideas before and I can tell you, it is not coming from some genuine belief in the bioessentialism that the TradWife crowd espouses. It's firmly rooted in disillusionment with the narratives we've been fed about what good and healthy relationships "should" be.
Let's use an imperfect analogy. All the content out there about building healthier relationships are like those authors who teach other people how to write and publish their first novels. Even among avid followers and people who follow the course - not all of them are going to wind up getting publishing deals like author teachers did. But when that's all you ever see about books on your feed, it starts to feel like everyone is figuring out how to do this and you just...suck for some reason. Now imagine that you publishing a book was seen as a vital part of the queer movement and everyone you knew had written these great books. Imagine that talking about how difficult you're finding it to write this book was not only seen as a threat to the larger movement but also made you a leech or otherwise dangerous or bad. That's what so much relationships content feels like these days.
There's a lot of nuance to this I'm not going to be able to capture; how the taker/giver dynamic still often gets reproduced in AFAB/AFAB relationships but generally along lines of any privilege disparities rather than strictly presentation, how transmasculine folks occupy a very liminal space in this conversation because other forms of privilege can impact it how the dynamic plays out so much, how trans/queer theory hasn't developed many robust models and methods for thinking through how queer and trans folks repeat toxic conditioning in their relationships with each other, etc.
But at the end of the day, the reason I see most people dip into it - why I myself have read through their blogs looking for answers - is because the messages we're told about what relationships should be like don't match the reality of the choices we really have available to us, especially when it comes to being with AMAB folks.
The fact that so many people cannot seem to sit with is that some people have no choice but to be single and some people do not really have the choice to be single. Health care, survival needs being met, access to family members and friends, transportation, etc can all be dependent on staying with someone who does the least. Making the best out of mediocre and unfulfilling relationships is a strategy for survival.
TradWife content not only makes overfunctioning seem possible long term but meaningful in some way that the relationship itself is not. I'm sure many of those content creators really love their husbands. But emotional intimacy is rarely discussed in these spaces. It does not seem to be highly valued. And it can almost be a relief when compared to spaces that harp on the basics you're giving but not receiving so regularly, where you not leaving is seen as enabling or leeching/gold digging stead of the economic dead end that it actually is. It is both a haven and a new hell.
Queer, trans, and disabled homemakers are effectively in the alleyway between houses, instead of in a house of our own. We're running between the eaves trying to stay dry. In one space we're told that our queerness/transness is good but our unhappiness in our relationships are seen as a threat to the cause and our difficulty leaving is seen as regressive and even exploitative (which ignores all the domestic labor we do). In the other space, we're told that our domestic labor is a beautiful gift and that there's something transformative about giving without expecting in return - a tempting ideal - but that our transness and queerness are the reason for our unhappiness.
This is all just to say I get it. While I don't support TradWife content and always shoot down bioessentialism in the spaces I'm in, I also get the appeal of the idea that the work itself is something you're meant for, that that kind of caring can fill the void of never really receiving it. I get the appeal of a space that values your labor instead of erasing it as just expected and calling you a leech.
I'm glad there's good content out there for building healthier and more enjoyable relationships for those who can both genuinely pursue it. But the older I get, the more I've seen that that is a very small portion of those in relationships and those available. Many of us are even more constrained n our options and maligned in our choices. The dearth of resources on making things work in the relationships that are okay but ultimately unfulfilling means people will continue to turn to things like TradWife content.
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Just finished rewatching We're All Doomed
And DAMN does it hit hard on the second watch.
Something that really resonated with me was the idea of consistently not being happy, but not being devastated. Of always waiting for the future. Of essentially being the "meh" emoji. And I used to really suffer with this, then I transitioned (yay), and was fine, for a while.
But recently it feels like I'm grasping at straws to find anything that will keep me going, just these last few months until I finally finish school and move out. I can feel myself sinking further and further into this hole and what's worse is that I know I'm sinking, but don't know how to prevent it.
So I've taken to creating. I'm consistently writing 1000 words a day, almost every day. I'm starting to make videos. I'm doing whatever the hell I can to create something worthwhile while I'm here, because I don't feel like I'm doing anything of worth unless I'm creating. And that's helping, a bit.
But Dan reminded me of something essential that I think I'd forgotten, and it's that we need to find the beauty in everyday life. And yeah, it's cliché. Yeah, everyone says that. But it's true.
Nobody is measured solely upon their production. I am not worthy just because I create things, even though it makes me happy. While it's tempting, it's not healthy to shut myself in my room and work myself to death until 2am every night.
Taking walks helps with this. Participating in school activities helps. Playing music helps. Reading helps.
I think it's healthy and productive to find a project to work on, for my own sake to have something other than school work I can feel productive about. I've realized I will never be happy in life unless I am creating.
But I'm sure Dan's been there, and I have a feeling he came out the other side a little worse for wear. I can't create things unless I care for myself and find the joy in everyday life, which can be so hard when every day feels the same, every day feels like I'm just waiting for the next thing.
Being alive is a gift. And i thank We're All Doomed for reminding me of that because I needed to remember.
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enchantedlandcoffee · 11 months
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Hey guys!! Here are some of my fic recs for the 28th (and we'll pretend I'm on time)
whatever floats your boat by larryftnoctrl / @the-larry-way
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Not Rated | 24.8k | Friends-To-Lovers, Mutual Pining, Healthy Communication
When Harry's mother convinces him to attend his ex's wedding, he must enlist support in the form of his handsome and charming best friend, flatmate and convincing fake boyfriend, Louis. With Louis by his side, the ever present sun and the plenty of open bars, an all expenses paid week long cruise doesn't seem like the worst he could do.
let's get naked and explore (our inner secrets) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed
Louis Tomlinson/Zayn Malik | Explicit | 8k | Friends with Benefits, Phone Sex, Smut
Louis' name flashes on his screen and Zayn frowns at the phone before accepting the call and putting it on speaker. "Lou?" "Don't you mean daddy?" Louis asks, and Zayn fumbles with his phone, quickly taking it off speaker and putting in his airpods even before he's consciously registered what Louis had said. "What?" he hisses, his cheeks red with embarrassment, but even when he takes out one airpod to listen he can't hear anything in the hallway, no giggling sisters or horrified mothers indicating that he's been overhead. "Jesus, Lou, give me a warning next time." It's not as though both of them haven't ever started conversations about kink at random before, but here? Now? Louis doesn't chuckle, the way Zayn expects him to. Instead he sounds a little confused, or at least careful. "You're the one that started it?" "I did not!" Zayn insists hotly, squirming a little bit in bed because he knows that he hadn't but he can't lie, there's part of him that is a little intrigued. Or: Zayn and Louis figure out a new kink with the help of good ol' autocorrect.
Together We're The Greatest by hellolovers13 / @hellolovers13
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 4.6k | Alternative Universe - Dystopia, Getting Back Together, Angst
“How the fuck does this always happen to you?” Louis huffed, pulling Harry's limp body into the half fallen apart car he'd borrowed for this. Well, he didn't intend to give it back, really, but insurance covered theft, did it not? And this thing was basically held together with duct tape and good faith, so really, the former owners should thank him for taking it off their hands. - It's not the first time Louis has to stitch Harry back together, but Louis will make sure it is the last.
No hand on the reign by tempolarriefics / @tempolarriefix
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 137k | Soulmate Identifying Marks, Angst with Happy Ending
Then, he sees it. His eyes lock on the tattoo and he sucks in a sharp breath, unable to look away. His brain screeches to a halt, and not just because of the sight that is a half-naked Harry. There, on Harry’s outer arm, is an intricate tattoo of a large ship. A large ship which perfectly complements the compass tattoo hidden on Louis’ own forearm. “It’s that one.” Louis breathes, reaching out a shaky finger to point to the ship on Harry’s left outer arm. “You’re sure?” Harry asks. Louis nods. He’s never been more sure of anything in his life. He has found his soulmate. Or, a twist on a soulmate AU where Louis is a newly independent tattoo artist and Harry just wants his soulmate tattoo removed. Of course, they're soulmates.
Just a touch of your love by thegirlontheblackhoodie / @thegirlontheblackhoodie
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 12k | Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Louis Tomlinson, Touch Starved
“What if something happened to you? What would I say to Niall?” “Nothing, he would have to wait to see my corpse on the news like everyone else.” Deadpanned Harry. Louis’ gasp was all the answer he got. Ok, so that might have been a bit too much. With a calmer voice, he said, “It’s really fine. I’ve walked to the tube countless times, I can handle myself. Just go home and tell Niall to stop mothering me.” Louis was finally walking by his side and gave him a sideways glance before talking. “He doesn’t know, does he? Of your, uh, condition.” Harry tensed and his breath became erratic, but he didn’t say a word. Louis continued. “His nose probably hasn’t picked it up, and you’re lucky Liam’s also a beta, but it took me a minute to confirm it. Your scent is gettin’ so…” He seemed to struggle to find a word. He didn’t finish the sentence, but the emotion in his voice made Harry’s tummy churn. -- Or, Harry is a touch starved omega trying to get through it on his own. Louis happens to be the only alpha around to realize it and offers to help.
Makes Me Feel Alive by hazzahtomlinson / @itsnotreal
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Explicit | 8k | Tattoo Artist Louis Tomlinson, Baker Harry Styles, Meet Cute
Louis hated when people came in to get tattooed and couldn’t sit still— bunch of fucking squares is what they were. If only that had been the issue for his newest client.
Stay with me, stay with me by DaddyAlphaLouisBabyOmegaHarry / @bottomhaztoplou
Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson | Teen and Up Audiences | 3.5k | Alternative Universe - Historical, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
“The Duchess is ill!” cried the omega’s maid as she hurried down the stairs. “What?” called the housekeeper. “He can’t get out of bed!”
(I also recommend all fics in their Duchessry series )
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creat0r-cat · 2 years
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Dragon Ball Males x Reader Pregnancy HCs (Trunks Edition)
Requested by: @ollinatl
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(Once again, the reader and (character) are married)
Future (Mirai) Trunks
He's absolutely shocked when you tell him you're pregnant
Yes, he was open to the idea of becoming a father, but certainly didn't expect to become one
Especially with how damaged the world was, he was nervous about bringing a child into it
Despite his worries, he hugs you with a smile, small tears escaping his eyes when you weren't looking
"I'm going to protect you both. I promise. We're gonna be the best parents ever."
He certainly kept that promise too
Trunks worked hard to speed up the rebuilding process of the planet, all while tending to you and your needs
His mother, Bulma, was fortunately there to help you as well
She understood the process of pregnancy and was able to calm her son down when he started to panic
When the child starts kicking, the look of absolute pride, happiness, and child-like wonder on Trunks's face made you emotional
Your eating habits, while slightly increased, weren't that unusual
It was honestly a rather easy nine months
When the baby was born, you both were blessed with a healthy baby girl
She had Blue hair and (e/c) eyes
When she looked at you both for the first time, she began to smile
"I can't believe I'm a dad.." murmured Trunks as he kissed you on the cheek happily
"What do you want to name her?" You asked, lying down on the bed, absolutely exhausted
"How about.. Hope?"
GT Trunks
You two had been trying for a child for about two months, so when you finally announced that you were pregnant, he was over the moon
He had always wanted to be a dad and now the man who had everything finally got what he wanted
With almost the entire Briefs family fortune at your disposal, the pregnancy was almost a breeze
Yes, the food cravings did get some money flowing, but it was for a good cause
Bulma helped check on the baby and at one point seemed surprised by something, but didn't tell you what was up
She threw you two a baby shower/gender reveal party and much to your (and everyone else's) surprise, it was revealed that you were pregnant with not one, but two baby boys
Trunks was the father of twins
He nearly fainted
Don't worry though, he wasn't upset or anything
He's actually incredibly happy
However, when the Twins weren't born and went past their due date,, he got worried that something was wrong
Bulma reassured him that everything was fine and that likely they would be born soon
Literally as she said that, your water broke and you went into labor
Panic
Yes, Trunks was a strong half-Sayian, but the strength with which you gripped his hand was something belonging to a deity
Like, you could give Lord Beerus a run for his money
Fortunately, when the children were born, his hand wasn't broken and he was still alive
Your two sons were identical twins, with the only way to tell them apart being the sides with which small streaks of black hair could be found amongst the tufts of purple on their heads
Their names, decided by both Bulma and Trunks, were Lonn and John
Lonn was the oldest with a black streak of hair on his left
John was the youngest with a black streak of hair on his right
Your husband was more than happy as he held them both in his arms
"Thank you, (Y/n). You're the best."
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briar--rising · 1 month
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Many many things have been shifting internally in significant ways lately, and it's very interesting. The shifts all feel good, healthy, but strange as well. I'm nervous to say anything as big as "we have a new cohost" and/or "Allora and I are fusing" but um. Allora and I have been spending a lot of time not just cofronting but blended, she's been really really present in really interesting ways the last few weeks. It's honestly quite lovely, we've been working hard towards being able to integrate further with her for a year. But it's really strange because I've never experienced another part being so blended and so...prominent within that blend for such long periods. Hours and hours out of every day it's the two of us, not just cofronting but like, swirled together. And I think the things that's weird about it is in the past when that's happened with other alters it's been us blended, sure, but I've still been like...the primary presence in some ways? Like if I'm blue and another part is yellow the blended color is a strong bluish green, not a true green? Does that make sense? But with Allora she has a stronger presence/more influence when blended than me, and that's new and bizarre.
She was I think the host before me, though, decades ago, so maybe that makes sense that she has a much more...host-like vibe and role than any of the others have had? And being blended with her in the lead is lovely because she contains a lot of our capacity for joy and whimsy, and when she's around it's much easier to be happy and amazed and love life.
I like the pie metaphor for fusion. If we're all a blueberry pie, I think I'm the flour and she's the blueberries. All of us are important, we all make up parts of the whole, I'm not trying to say anyone doesn't matter. But I think many parts play slightly smaller roles within the whole, so they might be the lemon juice or the salt or whatever. And some have strong medium roles, like the butter and sugar. But I think she's the blueberries, the biggest part of the flavor. And that's fine with me. I think if we do fully fuse (and I think we're headed that way) in the end the person we'll end up being will be a mix of everyone, of course, but in some ways prominently her, and honestly? Not only are the rest of us okay with that, we want it.
Because she's happy, and kind, and feels so true to all of us and who we are at heart and who we want to be. It's amazing to have her around like this, to have her taking the lead. It feels so right. Very strange, but so right.
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nerdygaymormon · 1 year
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Heyo! I'm an ex mormon trans gal who came across your blog and overall good for you for sticking to what you believe and being a sort of bridge for queer folk in the church, especially the kids!
I couldn't do it. I tried going back to the church after several years into hrt and my experience was horrid. Every week I was told to meet with the bishop and I was restricted more and more. I ended up being unable to use the woman's restroom (mens was fine though :|), go to relief society, or basically ever give talks/prepare lessons/speak during testimony.
The main thing that hurt the most is that everyone was really glad I was back while they were talking to me, but since I was going to a single's ward full of people I knew in my family ward growing up, everyone knew I was trans and I think people reported being uncomfortable with me being in 'female only' spaces. No one called me by my actual name and only one person ever called me Sister. Every restriction placed upon me was also supposedly coming from higher up as well. Stake presidency was involved, and iirc, my bishop said he wrote the big 12 and got answers back for what I was and wasn't allowed to do. Another horrible thing is that they wanted to set me up with church therapists (I already had a therapist and had been on hormones for years at this point) and counselors, and when I heard about that is when I dipped. I know conversion therapy isn't technically legal here, but I know that also doesn't stop church therapists from constantly berating you and basically telling you you're 'on the wrong path'.
Quite honestly it was hellish trying to walk the line of being a trans woman in the church. I think letting queer kids that are in the church having a way to find themselves is huge though and I'm so glad you're able to walk that line, so thank you. I hope me randomly sending this is okay, thought you might enjoy an ex-members perspective on what made her leave.
Wow, that's a lot, and unfortunately that is not uncommon. Thank you for sharing.
I want people to be happy, healthy, and whole, and it's a real shame it usually isn't possible for queer people inside the LDS Church.
My being in church is complicated. Sometimes it's lovely and other times I wonder if I can keep going, or even if I should.
I use this blog to write about my own thoughts, feelings and experiences as a queer Mormon. I also post things that are affirming of queer people. We need more affirmations in our lives to refute the rejecting messages we get from church and society.
I wish things were different at church, God loves everyone, God says we're all alike, God says we're to all be one and not treat each other differently based on gender, nationality, and so on. We're to treat others how we want to be treated. And yet, humans aren't so good at that.
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biggerbetterbat · 4 months
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WITH YOU [31] I’M SORRY
Daryl Dixon x OC!Charlie Reed
Summary: Some hard conversations leads to healing and peace. But the peace is a short thing and is once again disturbed.
Warnings: none
Song: Olivia O'Brien Complicated
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"Everybody okay?" Rick asked and everyone turned their attention towards him.
Charlie couldn’t even look at him - still ashamed and guilty for what she had done. That’s why she continued eating whatever was in her bowl. "What about you?" asked Hershel when Glenn confirmed that everyone was fine.
"I cleared out the boiler block," he answered and passed them.
"How many were there?" asked Glenn.
"I don't know.A dozen, two dozens," Rick shrugged. "I have to get back. Just wanted to check on Carl."
Charlie’s head snapped up after his words. Carl? What about the baby? Their gazes met and she fought herself to keep it up, she also wanted to show her disapproval. But Rick didn’t care about her angry stare just as he didn’t care about his daughter, so he turned his eyes away.
She wanted to make a scene and throw questions at Rick, but it was impossible. Charlie was the reason for his behavior.
"Everyone have a gun and a knife?” a cop asked as he looked away from Reed.
"Yeah. We're running low on ammo, though,” Daryl nodded.
"Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon," Glenn reported. "Found a phone book with some places we can hit, look for bullets and formula."
"We cleared the generator room," said Daryl. "Axel's there trying to fix it in case of emergency. We're gonna sweep the lower levels as well."
"Good," Rick nodded. "Good," he repeated and headed to doors.
He ignored the calls and just followed his own mind.
It was all killing her inside. Lori wasn't the only problem now. The whole group's dynamic was broken due to Rick's absence. He wasn’t just a member of the group, he was the leader who was making decisions for past eight months. They tried to be happy that the baby was healthy and getting better with each day, but the shadow of Lori's death was following them on every step. "You don't want to hold her?" she heard a question.
“Is he any better?” Charlie asked ignoring Hershel’s question.
“No,” he answered. “He’s going mad.”
Charlie looked at the older man and let out the air. “That’s all on me.”
“Don’t say things like that,” Hershel shook his head. “You did the right thing.”
“Making both Carl and this girl orphans was the right thing?” she looked away. “I should have let them both die.”
“Charlie…” said concerned Hershel, letting go of her shoulder.
“I made a promise to Lori,” she said after a moment of silence. “And I will have to break it.”
“Those kids have no one but you.”
“They have all of you,” Charlie said. “And they still have a father.”
In that moment, she knew that there’s a way to walk away from her responsibility. Hershel with his soft reasoning couldn’t help, but Charlie wouldn’t pat Rick’s back. She was going down to talk him out of his madness.
"May I?"
Rick looked at her, but he said nothing.
"You saved my life Rick. All of us," Charlie said. "More than once."
Silence.
"She wanted me to keep an eye on Carl and the baby," Charlie said. "I promised her that."
"She was sorry for what had happened between us," Rick interrupted. "We could have talked it out."
"I understand what you feel," she said. "You're...taking your time...You were strong for so long. I know you want to get away from this...we all do."
"You know nothing, Charlie," he leaned in. His voice turned colder and rougher. "It's not safe here. I'm waiting for a call."
Charlie was looking at Rick who wasn't even the shadow of what he once was. She said to his back. "Your daughter needs you."
He turned around and looked at her with nothing, but emptiness in his eyes. "This is not my daughter."
"Well…he’s dead. Should have thought about it before killing him,” Charlie noticed. "So what about Carl? You've been torturing him. He doesn't get to be sad about his mom's death?"
"Stop it!" he screamed, making Charlie jump. "Lori didn't die! She was killed!" he added and pushed the chair so it fell on the ground.
"I know!" Charlie snapped. "Because I'm the one who killed her! With those hands!"
" You better go now," he swallowed and raised his hands.
"No," Charlie shook her head. "You're no longer the leader. You don't get to tell me what I should do! You're going to listen to me!" she yelled and stepped forward. "I promised your wife to take care of your children, and I am keeping my promise. Carl needs you. He is left with a baby, while he is still a baby!  Whether you like it or not, you have a daughter. And they need you."
Rick raised his eyebrows in awe.
" I killed your wife. I made you like this and I made your kids an orphans. I will have to live with this to the day I die, and believe me I already hate every second of this life. I hear her in Carl’s voice, I see her in your daughter’s face. But I did that. I killed your wife," she said with a hoarse voice. "So don't make your kids life miserable, while I'm the one to blame. I'm...sorry. I'm sorry."
A sob broke through her lips, and hot tears became running down her cheeks. After a moment she felt his hands on her shoulder, and tight squeeze. "It's all right," he whispered and one of his hands ran down her hair.
Silence Thank you fell from Rick's lips as he was holding his daughter for the first time. His face was curved in a smile as he was looking at the little girl, walking outside to show his little girl the world and so she could soak in the sunrise - and that brought a hope that maybe one day, Charlie would be able to do the same to the girl.
"She looks like you," Rick smiled at Carl as they went out with the baby.
"Big brother Carl," Charlie remembered how he said it on the farm, which only made his smile bigger. She turned her gaze towards the gate, initially to see any signs for Glenn and Maggie, and then her smile dropped. "Rick."
The man placed his baby into Carl's hands and walked towards the gate.
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docholligay · 1 year
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I specifically cut this because I'm not trying to come for the author or whatever, but this is, to me, a perfect example of how different expressions of being fucked in the head can hit up against each other. How asking one person to notice and make accommodation can embarrass another.
So, this is a one line joke! But it's saying, at brass tacks, 'I am expressing there's nothing wrong, but my body is trying to tell us both that I am highly anxious. This post is a way of me offhandedly asking people to notice something I don't feel comfortable expressing in real life"
My reaction? When i saw the note count? Oh GOD DAMMIT
Because I am, in fact, fine.
I have Wrong ADHD for A Woman, as I am told frequently by a million 'supportive' posts, and so unfortunately I am very hyperactive. My ENTIRE LIFE I have had to deal with people thinking I'm anxious or wanting to leave, or worse, lying, because my leg is bouncing at the speed of light. When USUALLY, when I get extra twitchy, it means I'm excited or happy, but I really want to continue to listen to you because I find you interesting and love your company, but when I'm so enthused it's very hard for me to be still, so this is a thing I've adapted to. Due to a series of Mean Grade Schoolers, I can sometimes feel sensitive or embarrassed if someone comments on it. Which is on me--I am no longer eight-- but nothing shuts me down quite as quick as "oh, are you okay? Your leg is bouncing, do you want to leave?"
and this IS ABSOLUTELY NOT me saying 'fuck that other poster, mine is the one true way' even though I am in fact right about everything and also very sexy. This is me saying, 'unfortunately people all have different things going on with them, and at a certain point we're going to have to scrap our hypercomplicated labeling system to an extent and evaluate people as individuals' and even more unfortunately, ' we may have to start expressing our actual feelings if we want to be understood '
For me? Bouncing my leg is often a display of joy and love and excitement. I am BETTER than fine. For this person? Stress. Not fine. I hope my friends know x, and I hope their friends know y.
I'm together enough to read a post and go, 'ah, this doesn't apply to me' without being the weirdo fighting in the notes, but I do want to remind everyone that there's not a single neurotypical and/or mentally healthy person left on Tumblr so we may just have to go back to interacting with each other based on personality and individual nature
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silverynight · 2 years
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The best alpha
Tanjirou is enjoying a quiet night under one of the trees in the backyard, trying to get Nezuko to sleep when Makio, Suma and Hinatsuru join them for a while; they bring tea and rice balls for him.
"Thank you!" He beams at them, prompting Suma to blush and Makio to smile almost mischievously in response.
"Anything for you, cutie," Makio mumbles, stroking the omega's cheek before Hinatsuru takes her hand away.
They tell him about their day while Tanjirou nuzzles Nezuko's little head; she seems to enjoy listening to them, even though her eyes are closing already.
They also tell him how good alpha Uzui is, although they don't need to, Tanjirou knows that already; he's honestly really glad the four of them are such a happy family.
"Do you think Tengen-sama is handsome, Tanjirou?" Suma asks, getting closer to the omega, he has no idea why but she seems really interested in his response.
"He is," Tanjirou nods, smiling at them. He supposes is normal for mates to want to say out loud their partner's qualities.
"Imagine the beautiful pups he'll have with the omega he–"
Tanjirou really doesn't mean to interrupt Hinatsuru, but the mention of pups always makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside and he's suddenly too excited to think properly.
"Are you pregnant? Or maybe just Suma? I'm really happy for you! Can Nezuko and I pay you a visit when the pups are born?" The only omega in their pack is Suma, but since Makio and Hinatsuru are female betas they can have pups as well if they choose to.
Tanjirou wonders if they'd let him hold the pups in his arms, just for a little while...
"Hinatsuru and I have decided not to have children actually... We'd love to take care of them, but we don't want to give birth to them ourselves..." Makio explains before looking at the female omega. "Suma is still not sure."
"It's alright! It's your choice after all!" He notices that Suma's scent has changed a little bit: she's worried. Tanjirou leans next to her and puts a gentle hand on her cheek. "Whatever you choose will be fine with Uzui-san, he's a good alpha. Just think about what you want."
Suma melts into the touch and smiles back at him, for a moment he worries he made her upset because she starts tearing up, but then Tanjirou realizes by her scent that she's actually happy.
"You're so kind..." She mumbles before adding: "Although I still want to take care of pups..."
"Maybe you can adopt!" Tanjirou says, looking at the three of them.
"That'd be a good idea too," Hinatsuru agrees before saying with a fond grin: "But if Tengen-sama chooses another omega and he wants to have pups, we'll all be happy to take care of them."
"Would you be okay with that? I mean Uzui-san choosing another omega?"
"Yes!" They say at the same time, they look so excited it surprises Tanjirou for a moment.
"Especially if the omega is a cutie," Makio beams at him, running her fingers through Tanjirou's hair. "He'd be a perfect addition to our family!"
"Do you want to have pups, Tanjirou?" Suma asks suddenly, taking his free hand in hers.
The omega blushes because the answer to that has been clear to him for a long time.
"Yes, at least six," he mumbles happily, he gets surprised when he finds them all staring at him adoringly.
"Six beautiful pups!" Suma mumbles with delight.
"Tengen-sama is really handsome and has very strong genes, the pups he sires will be beautiful and healthy."
"I'm sure they will! I hope he chooses another omega soon! And you all love them as well. I'm sure you'll be happy together!" Tanjirou says sincerely.
"Wait, Tanjirou... I think you still don't understand what we're trying to–"
Hinatsuru gets cut off by Senjuro's quick steps.
"Tanjirou, come with me! I want to talk to you!"
"Of course!" The omega nods, rising slowly and carefully because he's still carrying Nezuko in his arms. He turns to look at Uzui's wives one last time: "I hope I see you soon!"
For some reason they don't seem happy at the moment.
***
Everyone seems to be in the butterfly estate that day; Tanjirou enjoys it, he likes the sound of laughter and chatter... He grew up with five siblings after all.
Senjuro follows him to Nezuko's room where the omega puts her back in her box before going back outside; the boy looks shy.
"You know... I barely remember my mother," he mumbles and Tanjirou decides that perhaps it's better to go for more tea for the two of them. "And my father got depressed and started drinking... So he wasn't there for me either..."
They kneel in front of the table as Tanjirou puts a hand on his cheek and starts releasing a calming scent.
"Thank you," Senjuro mumbles, blushing. "But I actually didn't want to talk about them... What I mean is that my brother took care of me instead."
Tanjirou nods, smiling back at him.
"I know. Rengoku-san is a good brother," the omega says and he means it.
"He's a good alpha too!" Senjuro continues, eyes meeting Tanjirou's for a moment, like he wants to tell him something important. "He raised me so he... I mean I think he'd do a great job as a mate."
"I'm sure of it..."
"But Tanjirou-san... I mean that you should consider–"
"Tanjirou," Genya cuts the boy off, blushing as he says the omega's name. The young alpha always seems flustered whenever he talks to him lately.
"Hi, Genya!" Tanjirou beams, prompting Senjuro to pout. "Please join us!"
"I want to talk about Nemi," he blurts out.
"Shinazugawa-san? Sure!" Tanjirou doesn't know exactly what's going on, but he likes when siblings start saying nice things about each other, it's really nice.
"I know he's rude most of the time, but he really cares..."
"I know he cares about you, Genya."
"And he cares about you too!" The alpha says suddenly, almost like he's desperate to make Tanjirou understand. "He can be gentle too... Besides, he'd be the most protective alpha ever... His omega and pups would be safe."
"I'm sure of it," Tanjirou nods, actually, he means it; even though they didn't get along at first, the omega knows that the wind hashira is a really caring alpha.
"Would give him a chance?"
"Of course!"
"No, Tanjirou-san! Give my brother a chance too!" Senjuro almost begs, confusing the omega.
"But I'm already friends with Rengoku-san!"
The two boys look at like he doesn't get what they're trying to say.
Perhaps he doesn't.
***
The next morning starts a little bit weird; he gets a letter from Urokodaki, however, unlike his previous letters this is one it's almost all about Tomioka and all the qualities he has that'd make him a great mate for someone.
Tanjirou doesn't know how to respond to that so he says he agrees and decides to write him about Nezuko and how much she's helped him during his missions.
"You know what?" Aoi startles him for a moment; he didn't realize how quietly she could move if she wanted. "I think Shinobu-san is the best alpha around here; she'd be the perfect mate because not only she's strong and protective, she'd also help her omega give birth to the pups."
Tanjirou looks back at Aoi in surprise; he'd never thought about that before.
"You're right, anyone would be lucky to have her."
"She's planning on courting an omega."
"Really? I'm happy for her! Who are they? Do I know them?"
"Tell me you're joking right now, Tanjirou..."
"Me? Why would I–"
Suddenly the room is a little bit more crowded than before.
"Don't listen to her, Tanjirou!" A kakushi protests, prompting Aoi to narrow her eyes at him. "Who would be better mate than the love hashira herself? She's so kind! She'd adore her pups!"
"We all know the best alpha for our sunshine omega is Himejima-san!" Another slayer cuts in fiercely.
Tanjirou tilts his head in confusion; he has no idea who the sunshine omega is or why they want them to be Himejima's mate.
"But Iguro-san is the one who's constantly keeping an eye on him so he doesn't get hurt!" Another kakushi says, walking in.
"Tokito-san adores him!"
"He's always distracted!"
"Not when the sunshine is around, you know he isn't!"
"I think they all would be great mates," Tanjirou cuts in because he actually believes it, but also because he doesn't like watching people arguing.
Suddenly, silence begins to fill the room, however, it's not uncomfortable at all because everyone starts grinning at him.
"You're right!"
"Of course he is!"
"They can share!"
"We'll have so many pups running around the butterfly estate pretty soon! That'll be amazing!"
"Who do you think would propose first?"
When they start arguing again, Tanjirou sighs and decides to go check on Nezuko...
He still has no idea who the sunshine omega is, but they all seem to care about them a lot; the thought makes him smile.
***
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frasermints · 20 hours
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Hey it's checking in on you anon, first I'm so sorry for misgendering you I should have looked better. Second I'm happy that my message came off the way I wanted it to I was worried.
I think you hit the nail on the head, it's a very very complex situation that I myself have been caught up in with many many different takes and opinions that it's easy to get reactive. It's okay if you don't know why you reacted the way you did I get it.
Even though we know we really don't know most of these men and we know from what we do of them are great. It's still a shock to the system. What the accounts were tweeting was absolutely vile and the idea of it coming from an NHLer is shocking and can hit even if you're a fan or not. It would be amazing if everyone in the public eye and especially on the ice were decent people. Sadly, it's not the case.
I 100% agree with you on the fanficication nolan was man #1 for that. And I agree with the dangers of speculation.
All in all thank you for taking the time to respond, and I hope you're taking care of yourself right now, it's alot to process I get it. Drink some water, take some deep breaths and step back if you need to.
- 😺
yeah and i've talked with k about this in the past too. in our collective opinion tknp was the first super super fanfic-ified duo and since there's so much... not even "lore" i don't like calling it lore because that word does contribute to the fanficification aspect but i'll use it until i find a better one (tired, one meal in 12 hours, lost of work done today)
but np's hockey trajectory truly does give him the ""tragic and relatable hero"" complex in people's eyes, especially when you
are not involved in his personal life. friend family member coworker etc
only see the finished product, and not the backstage. this is usually tied to the former, but not always.
when we get glimpses into the backstage (what happened in january with the 2018 wjc stuff, ružička's instagram post and subsequent termination, auston's misdemeanor charges, now this with the alleged sock accounts) it can be jarring because we're only used to seeing the glitzed up and the polished. we see a combination of what they want us to see + whatever narratives we have concocted for ourselves.
and, again - it is okay to speculate. it is fine and normal and good to be curious. but we have to supplement that curiosity with the understanding that these are people that make good and bad and neutral and goodbad decisions just like everyone else. just like we do
it's jarring like the sudden death of a celebrity is jarring. we think we know them. their words or creations or actions have impacted us. the impact they make on our lives is very real. but ours on theirs is real too, and deifying them to the point where witnessing or processing their mistakes is an act of self harm for us is scary. (this is a very big problem in youtube and twitch streamer fandoms as well as in the drag community re: the responses to katya's past relapse(s) and going back to treatment recently)
that's why i think it's good to step out of the positive echo chamber every once in a while. i am friends with people that hate my team(s). it's good for me. please, i cannot stress this enough - be friends with people that hate your teams.
on a lighter note, surface google your hockeys occasionally. matthew knies is a fucking business management major. it brought me back down to earth and lowkey kind of ruined my week when i found it out, but. you have to un-parasocial yourself in order for the fan relationship to stay healthy and if it takes scrolling mk23's linkedin to do it, then.
also, i have six sticky notes on my internet fight accountability chart (/srs), i very much know why i am reactive but i cannot change the situation and i cannot fix myself overnight. i appreciate it though. thanks bug.
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nayaaatv · 2 years
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”my answer is you” - wen junhui ✦
# : band au, angsty angst, kind of fluff if u like squint (i think im lying)
warnings ! : mentions of alcohol, mentions of food if that counts,, a very sobby jun, swearing. no happy ending ? depends on how u see it
wc ! : 1.1k (tee hee)
a/n : this was supposed to be a very very very long fic but turned into a oneshot bc i got lazy,, this is really bad so aha i might fix it in the future (?)
ft. mingyu, hoshi, and minghao.
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some people may say your breakup was very healthy, and maybe you thought that too, but...
its always going to be messy.
and it was. you were leaving him for college and he was leaving you for his career. it sounded mutual, ish.
at first, maybe it was healthy. you both agreed that maybe it was for the best considering your situations, that was until you found him on your porch.
stupidly drunk. crying all over the place, begging you to come back to him. you had to get one of his band mates to pick him up.
after that, the breakup hurt much more. you climbed in bed sobbing your ass off for days. you didn't even want to leave him.
maybe you were just scared of the cons of long distance, maybe you were scared of what college would do to your relationship, maybe you just fell out of love.
out of all those thoughts, it definitely wasn't the last one.
you moved on eventually, found new people and a boyfriend. you assumed he did too.
assumed.
you and your boyfriend, decided to go to a yearly couples festival.
it looked familiar, you thought. you went anyway since it was your boyfriend who was suggesting to go.
you got ready and got in the car.
you wore a white floral dress you probably haven't worn in ages, since it was sitting untouched in your closet.
"we're here!" your boyfriend, mingyu cheered.
the gentleman opened the car door for you and smiled, visibly excited for this particular event. you smiled back as you walk with him to the entrance.
it was beautiful. all the pretty lights, the food stands, the tables, everything was amazing. though, you got a massive wave of deja vu. you shrugged it off for the sake of your date.
“lets get cotton candy !!” mingyu suggested.
you nodded and walked with him to the food stand. whilst waiting for the cotton candy to form, you heard a familiar voice start to speak.
you looked around to be met with the wooden stage in the middle end of the venue, surrounded by a bunch of lights and speakers.
the slightly familiar band walked up the stage, making everyone turn their heads.
“hey everyone, hope you’re having a great night tonight! requests are by the booth over there. hope you guys have fun.” the singer cheered as the crowd cheered along.
and then it hit you. it wasn’t just a band, it was the band he was in.
the band your ex, jun, was in, the lead singer actually. your mind went blank as you saw all the familiar members all together like before. you smiled in slight shock, happy to see him living his dream.
“babe? you okay?” your boyfriend asked. “hm? im fine, gyu” you assured the boy.
although you moved on for good. you couldn’t keep your evil thoughts locked away. ‘has he moved on?’, ‘what if we didn’t break up?’, ‘does he still remember me even?’
you managed to push those thoughts away for a while and continue your date with your precious boyfriend.
the man in question on the other hand, wasn’t the strong soldier you were.
he noticed you while fixing his equipment with his members. his eyes glossy from the sight of your smile.
wishing he was still the reason of it.
“jun? you ready?” his drummer, soonyoung, snapping jun out of his thoughts.
jun nodded, awkwardly walking up the stage to make a quick introduction.
a solid thirty minutes go by. your head finally at ease, taking selfies with your boyfriend. in just a snap, you forgot about jun. though he, was unfortunately still at stage one.
endless staring throughout the night. he, in fact, did not move on, like at all. he sang and sang trying to hold himself back from evil thoughts of his own.
right before he knew it, it was the last song. he stared at the request paper dully.
‘Try Again - Jaehyun and d.ear. my girlfriend loves this song, like a lot, i hope you could play it, thanks !!’ he read.
he froze for a moment, rereading it a few times. for once, he asked his members if they should do this song.
by song I mean the song you used to sing in the car with him. jun used to find himself dreading to the melody. now, he doesn’t know what to feel.
he put the note down and announced the next song.
you look up from your table to the familiar melody, whilst your boyfriend jokingly groaned, as if he wasn’t the one who requested the song. but neither of you needed to know that anyway.
“gyu gyu gyu gyu” you shaked the boys shoulder repeatedly.
“i know, babe i know.” he laughed, adoring your excited smile.
the singer was barely focusing, nearly voice cracking at one point. he tried looking everywhere but your eyes. he was unsuccessful after 32 seconds into the song.
you noticed his gaze and waved happily. your boyfriend doing the same.
although there was a bright smile on his face, his world was slowly breaking apart. time stopped in his eyes.
“So whenever you ask me again”
his eyes started getting glossier. he started to remember things he wished he could forget.
“How I feel, please remember...”
he wished he was still singing with you in the car, having no care in the world. he wished he was still the one who walked you to school. he wished he was still the one you were on a date with. he wished you were still there to support him after a gig. he wished he was still the one pressing his lips against yours.
“My answer is you.”
eventually, the song came to an end. as you were gathering all the food and stuff you bought with your boyfriend. jun was crying his ass off backstage like the day you split. his bandmates comforted him whole-heartedly.
“its alright bud, atleast she’s happy, right?” minghao assured the older one. 
jun didn’t even want to cry at all. it felt wrong to him, but he just couldn’t stop sobbing. some nights, he wishes he didn’t break up with you, and tonight, was probably one of those nights, and maybe the worst of them all.
sooner or later, the singer got himself together and left the venue with his band.
although you’re not with him to hug and kiss after a gig, he’s more than glad that you have someone who loves you a lot. and maybe, just maybe, this was the closure he needed. we’ll never know, he doesn't know either. a he knows is that.
he was and always will be joyful to see your pretty smile.
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taglist ☆ : @guavagyu 💫
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occult-roommates · 6 months
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Drama in the gay mermaid community
A few days after their okay-ish date, Marisa invited Akva to go swim at a swimming pool in the spice district. She thought it was a nice gesture, as it was the area where they both grew up, and it looks better than ever now that it got massively renovated a year ago. On top of that, since that renovation, there's been a promotion every Monday morning and mermaids can swim there for free.
Akva: So yeah, turns out the guy I had picked specifically as a last ditch effort to convince myself I'm not a lesbian was a trans woman this whole time. Granted, I found that out two years after we broke up, but that's still funny. Marisa: Oh wow, that's crazy. Maybe it's because on like, some level you knew. Akva: That sounds unlikely.
Akva looked up and for the love of Poseidon, speaking of the Devil, there she was taking a dive into the pool.
Akva: Oh my god, Athena! Athena! Athena: Oh HIIIIII!!!!
The blue mermaid swam towards her ex-girlfriend, at sat next to her.
Akva: What are you doing here? Athena: Ok, ya see, I accepted Paisley's offer to be her video editor, and so for a short while I did so while living in Del Sol Valley. The thing is I've been living on the West Coast for years now, since I left for college, and I missed San Myshuno. And so, last month, I finally moved back home, got an apartment and everything. I'm still working for Paisley, just from a distance. By the way, Sara continue to be a happy healthy toddler, and began going to daycare back in September. Akva: That's great to hear. I'm also surprised to see how different you look from last time. How did you changed so fast in just a few months? Athena: Magic. Like a spellcastress sold me a potion. The effects are only temporary and not as powerful as a full blown genderbending potion, but it'll do for now. Until I can admit it to my parents. Akva: You're back in town and you still haven't told your parents? Imagine if they can recognize you, I mean, I just did so why couldn't they? Athena: "In town". San Myshuno has a population of 8.5 millions. The odds of me coming across my parents are so low. It's already a huge coincidence I came across you. Akva: Ok but like, you're in the spice district, which is where we both grew up, and has a huge mermaid population. It kinda raises the odds you'll come across them, don't you think? Athena: I-It's not the same thing. They don't know I'm a woman now, they probably won't realize I'm, well, me. You know, that's how you recognize me.
Marisa laid down, waiting for them to change the subject so she could join the conversation. It never happened though, they argued about Athena's coming out plan, then went on to gossip about what their former classmates from high school are now up to.
Akva: You look beautiful by the way. Athena: Oh my god, thank you. Marisa: That's it, I gotta go. Akva: What, why?
Marisa stood up drag herself away from the pool, and as soon as her legs grew back, she walked up. Concerned on what she did wrong, Akva also stood up and speed walked towards her, as everyone knows you cannot run near a pool.
Marisa: That's really rude to flirt with your ex during a date you know? Akva: Th-This was a date?! How was I supposed to know? You did not told me. Marisa: I-I...Well, it's true I didn't told you, because I thought it was pretty obvious. Akva: I don't think it works like that. We're not girlfriend, as long as we're not, as far as I know any going out is just platonic friendly outing. And...Ok, since a miscommunication put us into this mess, I'll just go straight to the point, I do not want to be your girlfriend. Marisa: Well me neither!
That's when Marisa left. Akva felt awful, she didn't want to hurt her feelings, she's a fine girl, a fine girl who she's not into. If only she knew. Meanwhile, Athena kept on sitting by the pool. In a way, it wasn't really her fault, it's not like she knew, but like Akva, she couldn't help but feel like garbage over this.
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